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Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode
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of the Active Action Podcast. It's me, your host,
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Nazeeb, back again with another amazing guest.
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And today I have with us... Ari Rastegar. Ari
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is the founder and CEO of the Rastegar Capital,
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a leading real estate investment fund. So Ari
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Rastegar is a real estate investor, author, and
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entrepreneur known for turning failure into long
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-term leverage. And he started with just $3 ,500
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loan while Studying at a law school, he went
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on to building a multi -billion dollar real estate
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portfolio. And along that way, he learned that
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real success isn't just about capital, but it's
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about clarity, resilience, and health as well.
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750 ,000 followers across different social media
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platforms. That's huge. Thank you so much, Ari,
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for joining today's podcast. How are you doing
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this evening, my man? I'm living the dream. Wonderful,
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Ari. I'm so happy to have you in my podcast today
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and hoping that our listeners would be benefited
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from our conversations and the wonderful story
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that you have. overturn and build this empire
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and having such a huge number of followers i
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know people looking to you as role models for
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businesses for advices so i'm happy to have you
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in my episode to share some of that word of wisdom
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with you ari this evening happy to be here ari
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so you have built a success in high pressure
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environments, if I understand. What did you learn
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about yourself through going on those moments
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and when even things didn't go as planned? Well,
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thank you for the question. Whenever you're after
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something that's bigger than you, you know, and
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I say that because wherever your level of consciousness
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is, wherever your level of thinking is, when
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you're pushing for something new, you have to
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grow. If it's looking to make more money, if
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it's looking to change your body. to your health,
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to travel. Whatever you're doing, you're looking
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to push a boundary. And when you're pushing a
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boundary, you're changing. And when you're changing,
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that requires growth. And growth requires pressure.
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Just if you're lifting weights, if you want to
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grow your muscles, you push pressure. But coal
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is going to become a diamond. It requires pressure.
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The universal truth of any type of growth is
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pressure. And so one of the great skills that
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we can learn as human beings is to be able to
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be calm. in pressure. And one of the greatest
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tools that I've learned for this is meditation.
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And I know a lot of people have talked about
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meditation and there is many different kinds.
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You know, there's a Vedic tradition. I've recently
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done a lot of work with Dr. Joe Dispenza. And
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if you all know Dr. Joe, and if you don't, you
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should absolutely look him up. He's a phenomenal,
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phenomenal neuroscientist. teacher professor
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that has really created a way to make science
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the language of mysticism for now we can see
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what happens to our heart when we start to come
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into a more meditative state to look at our brain
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waves and see what happens because now we can
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look at heart scans and see what the heart rate
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variability of a heart with anxiety looks then
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we can see what a heart with gratitude looks
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like And there's ways that we can train ourselves
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through this practice to have a more coherent
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heart and a more coherent mind. And those things
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allow us to live a more coherent life. And so
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no matter what you're after, no matter what your
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goal is, no matter what you're looking to achieve,
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Amounts of stress. And trust me, I've been there.
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I wrote a whole book about failure. And I can
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only speak to this to you because I've done it
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so bad for so long that desperation led me to
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change. And that's what usually happens. It's
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not inspiration that makes us change in my experience.
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It's necessity that makes us change. And I found
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that being able to have a practice, a practice
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of stillness where I can close my eyes. and go
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into a place where I can focus on the space around
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my body and be able to calm my mind and calm
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my brain, that is preparation for activity. So
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that before you go out in the day, all of a sudden,
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we've all done this. We wake up and immediately
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we look at our phone and we're in a hurry and
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you're jumping around and you're getting ready
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and you're chasing the kids and you're trying
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to eat something on the run. This type of behavior...
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is not conducive to the type of thoughtful, calm,
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patient, tactical approach to build things that
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are meaningful. To build, you know, this type
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of person doesn't sound like a boss you want
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to have. Doesn't sound like a CEO you want to
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have or a leader you want to have. Or a dad that's
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just jumping up and running around the room trying
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to get kids ready, running around like crazy.
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So if we can take a moment and we can invest
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in ourselves to calm the mind, even for five
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minutes, and so we can start our day or in the
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middle of the day when we get stressed and we
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reach for the extra coffee or something, if we
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can take a moment to pause and reset the body
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and go after the things we're doing, it is a
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phenomenal tool, phenomenal gift to help everything
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in your life come from a deeper... empathetic
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place from a deeper calm from a place of more
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balance and more harmony and I run a very big
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business as you said I'm a father of three and
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these are things that have helped me so profoundly
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deal with anything when the world is kicking
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at you emails and text messages and begging for
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your attention jumping here and there but if
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we can take a moment to center to physically
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center and make that a part of our practice we
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put ourselves in a position where we can thrive
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in anything that we're doing That's so wonderful
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to hear, Ari. And many of us don't put that perspective
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or don't put that time, as you mentioned, invest
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yourself to know what is good for your mental
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well -being, but also how to prioritize your
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work. You are a family man. I can see you have
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a father of three, but you also have a multi
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-billion dollar business. So navigating those
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two very different situations and very different
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scenarios. does demand having a mental calmness
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and peace and stability to navigate effectively
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both ways. Ari, again, I wanted to ask you, you
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have seen everything in life. You started with
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a $3 ,500 loan when you were in law school, and
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now you're the CEO and founder of a multi -billion
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dollar business. I know that you have gone through
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the pipeline of being in between failure and
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success. A lot of our audiences are currently
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struggling on their very initial phase of life.
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And so from your experience, is there a difference
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between failing and being a failure? And if so,
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how do people mentally cross that line and how
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do they come back from it? Well, I'll tell you,
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thank you for the question again, because questions
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are the answer. You know, amateurs look for answers,
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professionals seek better questions. And I'll
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tell you, yes, there is a huge difference. The
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only true failure is quitting. Otherwise, it's
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not failure, it's temporary defeat. And my definition
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now of failure is learning how to win. Everybody
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that learns any skill. Anybody listening to this
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that has learned some skill, you say, oh, I haven't
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learned anything. Well, you learned how to walk.
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You learned how to talk, at the very least. And
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didn't you stutter at first? Didn't you talk
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like that? When you first learned to stand up,
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didn't you fall down? And then didn't you get
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back up? Didn't you say a word wrong? And then
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you practice it and you said it right? Failure
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is the human process of how we learn, okay? The
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difference is the greatest achievers in the world
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fail more, not less. And the difference is they
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keep going. So if you're right now listening
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to this and you're failing, I'd like to congratulate
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you because you are actually starting to win.
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You're actually separating yourself from those
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poor, timid souls that don't even try. They just
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sit on the couch or they sit somewhere else and
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they don't even attempt. So if you are failing,
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that means you're courageous. It means that you're
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brave. It means that you're in the arena. It
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means that you're doing it. And my wish for you
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is I hope you fail. And I hope you fail a lot
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because it's in that failure. It's in that pain.
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It's in that suffering. It's in those dark nights
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of the soul that you grow. that you overcome
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your old self to become the person. This is the
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gift because problems, when I say problem to
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you, everybody immediately probably thinks bad,
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right? The great tragedy of humans is that we
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think we're not supposed to have problems. Everybody
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has problems. Here's a new definition for you.
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Ready? Yeah, sure. Problems are the gifts that
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we grow from. If you didn't have a problem, you
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wouldn't have the opportunity to grow. So true,
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Ari. That's so true. And I know you speak from
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experience. Again, a tunnel has two sides. Oh,
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I speak from a lot of experience of fucking every
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single thing up possible. I am the only thing
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I've gotten very good at. You lived through those
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experiences, right? Yeah. And I'm still here.
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I'm still here. I have more gray hair. Definitely.
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I'm a little bruised. I'm a little tired. My
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head is bloody, but my head is unbowed. My chin
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is up. And this is the difference. We're not
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told that we're supposed to fail. We're not told
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that it's supposed to be hard. It's meant to
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be hard. Just if you're doing bench press, you're
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pushing the bench press. The first rep of lightweight,
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nothing happens. The second weight lightweight,
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nothing happens. On the last one or two, 95 %
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of the growth happens in the last two reps. This
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is the same in everything. That's so true. Ari,
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so then when someone actually faces that failure,
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we know the failure would actually take them
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to success at one point. Well, let's talk about
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that for a second. Okay. Not necessarily. But
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let me tell you, there's a formula, I think.
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You failed. Okay. And I failed a lot. Read my
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book, The Gift of Failure. If you read my book
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or you listen to it on Spotify, you can buy it
00:12:45.700 --> 00:12:48.580
on Amazon or Audible. The first line of the book
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is, I hope you fail. I hope you fail a lot. Okay.
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And in some of these soul crushing failures I
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experienced in business and health, you know,
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in life and different things, the thing that
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I've learned, okay. is that when you fail, not
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if, when, you're going to fail in whatever. And
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so you might as well shoot big. You might as
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well try to do something big because either you're
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going to fail real small and win small, but if
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you at least shoot big, you'll fail big, and
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then you can make it big. So if you're trying
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to fail, you're going to fail no matter what
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you do. You can fail at a little job or you can
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fail at a big job. I prefer to try to fail at
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a big job, and I recommend that as well because
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you're going to fail anyway. And if you keep
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going, then you'll succeed. But one of the key
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ingredients is when you fail at something, most
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people who are ambitious, let's say, get back
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up. Good for you. Because you have to keep going.
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Resilient people, right? Yeah. Resilient people
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get back up. Those who are resilient, yeah. But
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I highly recommend you don't get back up so quickly.
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I recommend that when you fall and you land on
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your back, lay there. Lay there for a little
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bit and think about what went wrong, what went
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right, what happened. Trace your steps. When
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you look at the best athletes in the world, okay,
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one of the things they all do, they watch film.
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They watch hours and hours and hours and hours
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of their own games, of their competitors, watching
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every move of what happened, what went wrong
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in a play, what went right in a play. Same thing
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you should do in your life. Lay on your back
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for a little bit. Don't get up so quickly. Lay
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there. And first of all, don't get too comfortable
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because you don't want to be there for too long.
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But you want to be there enough to know what
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went wrong, what went right. And then when you
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realize what went wrong and what went right,
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you can do what went right again. And what went
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wrong, not to do that again. And you can learn
00:14:52.179 --> 00:14:55.100
the lesson because you have to have introspection
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to look back. Find out what went wrong. Ask why
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it went wrong. Learn, then get back up. It is
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only a gift if you look back and you learn and
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you let failure be feedback and then persist
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in what you're doing. That's one of the most,
00:15:16.139 --> 00:15:18.820
most valuable advices I've gotten in such a long
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time, Ari. Everyone just, you know, says that,
00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:24.559
okay, so you have failed, so you'll get back
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up and just regain that strength. But a very
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important thing, That I have learned. If I do
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fail, then just take the time to reflect. Just
00:15:34.139 --> 00:15:36.559
lay low, but not again, not get too comfortable.
00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:39.519
But understand why that happened, right? Take
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:41.519
a nap. Think of it like taking a little nap.
00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:43.340
You don't want to sleep there. You don't want
00:15:43.340 --> 00:15:45.639
to sleep out there. But you might want to take
00:15:45.639 --> 00:15:49.240
a nap. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Sit with it.
00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:52.100
Sit with it for a second. Sit with yourself.
00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:58.100
and figure out what the fuck went wrong and also
00:15:58.100 --> 00:16:00.720
what went right because it's not not everything
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:04.519
went wrong you breathed you got to eat you met
00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:07.340
some nice people you try so it's not all everything
00:16:07.340 --> 00:16:10.700
went to shit that's bullshit too don't lie some
00:16:10.700 --> 00:16:13.080
things were right some things were good something
00:16:13.080 --> 00:16:15.860
were enjoyable some things you want to do again
00:16:15.860 --> 00:16:19.860
and just take inventory of what it is and maybe
00:16:19.860 --> 00:16:22.399
get a piece of paper. Benjamin Franklin used
00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:24.419
to, whenever before he was going to make a decision,
00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:27.240
he would take a piece of paper and draw a line
00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:29.720
in the middle and write the pros of why to do
00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.539
it, the cons of why not to do it. And it sounds
00:16:32.539 --> 00:16:35.220
very simple, but this is a very simple exercise
00:16:35.220 --> 00:16:37.559
where you can write down after this failure,
00:16:37.720 --> 00:16:40.299
you lie down there, you take a little nap, you
00:16:40.299 --> 00:16:44.220
take a little breather, you have to rest, recharge.
00:16:45.309 --> 00:16:48.450
before going at it again. Just when you go to
00:16:48.450 --> 00:16:50.590
the gym and you do a very hard workout, are you
00:16:50.590 --> 00:16:52.149
supposed to go to the gym the next day again?
00:16:53.110 --> 00:16:55.909
Just rest for a bit. Regain that composure. That's
00:16:55.909 --> 00:17:00.250
when muscles grow. This is when muscles grow.
00:17:01.169 --> 00:17:04.230
It's during the rest. The push is when you're
00:17:04.230 --> 00:17:07.349
ripping the muscle apart. The rest and the recovery
00:17:07.349 --> 00:17:10.230
is when you're growing. And this is the same
00:17:10.230 --> 00:17:12.970
for your emotions and your psychology. Push,
00:17:13.029 --> 00:17:18.460
fail, rest. figure out a plan, get back up, experiment,
00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:23.420
experience, repeat over and over again till you
00:17:23.420 --> 00:17:28.579
fail so much that one day you realize that you
00:17:28.579 --> 00:17:31.059
were a success all along. So wonderful, Ari,
00:17:31.140 --> 00:17:33.660
to hear. And thank you so much for sharing those
00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:36.559
words of wisdom, by the way, you know, and I'm
00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:39.000
sure our listeners would understand the deep
00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:42.720
meaning, the inner meaning that... you have been
00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:45.759
like telling them about taking the time to step
00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:48.440
back to assess the situation before you know
00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:52.019
diving into that because without like thinking
00:17:52.019 --> 00:17:55.039
without reflecting just diving back every time
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:57.880
can lead to failure again and again which someone
00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:00.779
might don't want to again ari i wanted to ask
00:18:00.779 --> 00:18:04.039
you another important aspect is that transparency
00:18:04.039 --> 00:18:07.309
is always helpful or transparency is important.
00:18:07.609 --> 00:18:10.829
Even when someone is reflecting their own self
00:18:10.829 --> 00:18:13.369
to others, or even when we are mixing in the
00:18:13.369 --> 00:18:16.170
society, even when we're talking ourselves to
00:18:16.170 --> 00:18:19.710
ourselves. It's often seen in competitive industries,
00:18:20.089 --> 00:18:22.789
people to hide their losses. They want to show
00:18:22.789 --> 00:18:25.329
themselves as prosperous. They're very good.
00:18:25.430 --> 00:18:27.589
That is what we see in the television. That is
00:18:27.589 --> 00:18:30.490
what we see when we see someone successful. We
00:18:30.490 --> 00:18:33.069
don't know what went behind them. This is just
00:18:33.069 --> 00:18:36.789
not reality. We can't mistake, we can't confuse
00:18:36.789 --> 00:18:42.930
Instagram, Photoshop with reality, okay? And
00:18:42.930 --> 00:18:46.269
I know what you mean, but if there's a difference
00:18:46.269 --> 00:18:50.809
between trying to control your brand, put yourself
00:18:50.809 --> 00:18:55.849
in the best light, this is fine. And I look at
00:18:55.849 --> 00:19:01.210
it as the... Most important promises. Because
00:19:01.210 --> 00:19:03.349
transparency is a promise if you think about
00:19:03.349 --> 00:19:07.329
it in a way. That's true. First, keep the promises
00:19:07.329 --> 00:19:12.109
you make to yourself. Because if you don't keep
00:19:12.109 --> 00:19:15.109
the promises you make to yourself, you don't
00:19:15.109 --> 00:19:17.289
have self -respect. I'll give you an example.
00:19:17.750 --> 00:19:20.329
People that say they have low self -esteem, they
00:19:20.329 --> 00:19:24.930
have low confidence. The reason why is because...
00:19:25.099 --> 00:19:27.000
They don't keep the promises they make to their
00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:28.920
self. And we've all done this. I'm going to go
00:19:28.920 --> 00:19:30.480
to the gym tomorrow. And you don't go to the
00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:33.119
gym. I'm going to start eating healthy. You don't
00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:35.920
start eating healthy. Think of it as the person
00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.480
in your brain is another person to understand
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:42.180
it. So you and me, I say to you, we're going
00:19:42.180 --> 00:19:44.180
to meet at the gym tomorrow at 8 o 'clock in
00:19:44.180 --> 00:19:46.259
the morning. And we both say, okay, I promise
00:19:46.259 --> 00:19:48.640
I'll meet you. You go to the gym at 8. I don't
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:52.400
show up. And you say, what the fuck? You didn't
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:55.279
come. And then later on, you call me and say,
00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:56.900
Ari, what the fuck? You told me you were going
00:19:56.900 --> 00:19:59.599
to come. And I say, oh, man, I got tied up. And
00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:01.259
you say, okay, no problem. Meet me tomorrow.
00:20:01.460 --> 00:20:03.019
I said, no problem. I promise I'll meet you there
00:20:03.019 --> 00:20:05.339
tomorrow at 8 o 'clock. 8 o 'clock comes tomorrow.
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:08.539
You're there. I'm not there. Then that time,
00:20:08.619 --> 00:20:10.559
what do you think about me? Am I a reliable person?
00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:14.220
Can you trust me? Now that's what you think about
00:20:14.220 --> 00:20:17.279
yourself. Every time that you tell yourself,
00:20:17.420 --> 00:20:19.180
I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to start
00:20:19.180 --> 00:20:21.460
running again, I'm going to start. So you keep
00:20:21.460 --> 00:20:24.640
lying to yourself over and over and over again.
00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:28.759
And you lose personal integrity. And someone
00:20:28.759 --> 00:20:31.359
that doesn't have personal integrity doesn't
00:20:31.359 --> 00:20:34.220
even have the privilege of keeping promises to
00:20:34.220 --> 00:20:36.099
other people. Those are the people that aren't
00:20:36.099 --> 00:20:38.400
transparent. Those are the people that aren't
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:41.519
vulnerable. The ones that learn to keep the promises
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:44.579
they make to themselves. are automatically transparent
00:20:44.579 --> 00:20:47.319
and vulnerable because there is power in vulnerability.
00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:51.140
And only people that have earned personal integrity
00:20:51.140 --> 00:20:55.299
promises to themselves can actually be vulnerable
00:20:55.299 --> 00:20:58.279
and know that true power lies in vulnerability,
00:20:58.700 --> 00:21:02.420
not in hiding. That's so true, Ari. I have never
00:21:02.420 --> 00:21:04.720
thought, I've never thought the way you just
00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:07.839
made me think. Well, you have a gift, Ari. You
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:10.859
made me think that if I, I would question myself
00:21:10.859 --> 00:21:14.480
if I'm not following up to my own word that I
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:17.359
give to myself and definitely is lingering with
00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:20.359
personal integrity. I'm lacking in, if I'm lacking
00:21:20.359 --> 00:21:22.460
in that, it will definitely be reflective in
00:21:22.460 --> 00:21:25.819
my actions. Beautiful. And would definitely render
00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:28.559
transparency to myself and to others as well.
00:21:28.859 --> 00:21:32.049
This is the, this should be the focus. And once
00:21:32.049 --> 00:21:36.289
we build by the promises we make to ourself,
00:21:36.549 --> 00:21:40.549
the promises to other people are easy. The hardest
00:21:40.549 --> 00:21:44.069
promise, the hardest transparency is you with
00:21:44.069 --> 00:21:49.490
you. That's so true. Yeah, indeed. Ari, can I
00:21:49.490 --> 00:21:52.089
ask you a question from your experience? What
00:21:52.089 --> 00:21:56.029
role does ownership play in turning adversity
00:21:56.029 --> 00:22:00.869
into growth? Everything. You have to take total
00:22:00.869 --> 00:22:04.470
responsibility. Total responsibility. Absolute
00:22:04.470 --> 00:22:08.069
responsibility. And remember, life isn't fair.
00:22:08.470 --> 00:22:11.710
It never was. It never will be. Okay? Period.
00:22:12.410 --> 00:22:14.470
There's always going to be things that happen.
00:22:14.569 --> 00:22:17.650
It's just not fair. And you might say it's not
00:22:17.650 --> 00:22:20.630
your fault. Maybe not, but it is your fucking
00:22:20.630 --> 00:22:23.269
responsibility. And if it's not your responsibility,
00:22:23.450 --> 00:22:25.769
that means one thing. It means that you don't
00:22:25.769 --> 00:22:28.150
have control. And if you don't have control,
00:22:28.410 --> 00:22:30.829
you don't have anything. And so when you take
00:22:30.829 --> 00:22:34.089
control of your own life, you're saying, I'm
00:22:34.089 --> 00:22:36.990
the master of my fate. I'm the captain of my
00:22:36.990 --> 00:22:39.970
soul. I am the creator of my life. I am not a
00:22:39.970 --> 00:22:42.289
manager of circumstances. I'm a fucking victim.
00:22:43.089 --> 00:22:45.490
I'm going to do what I can at least control my
00:22:45.490 --> 00:22:48.460
own thoughts. They asked Nelson Mandela. Nelson
00:22:48.460 --> 00:22:51.960
Mandela had been in prison now for at the time
00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:55.299
about 30 years and Tony Robbins got to interview
00:22:55.299 --> 00:22:58.940
him. And I love Tony Robbins, by the way. Tony
00:22:58.940 --> 00:23:02.819
Robbins is a global treasure. And anybody out
00:23:02.819 --> 00:23:04.539
there looking to change their life, go to a Tony
00:23:04.539 --> 00:23:06.720
Robbins seminar and give yourself the gift of
00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:09.119
immersion with people or listen to his audios,
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:11.640
read his books. I've read all of them, attended
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:13.720
a seminar. I did one of his virtual seminars
00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:16.519
two months ago in my living room. The learning
00:23:16.519 --> 00:23:18.880
never stops. Constant, never -ending improvement.
00:23:19.180 --> 00:23:23.319
Constantly never -ending improving. So Tony talked
00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:28.579
to Nelson, to Mr. Mandela, and he said, how did
00:23:28.579 --> 00:23:33.440
you survive all those years? And he looked at
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:39.299
him, he said, survive? I didn't survive. I prepared
00:23:39.299 --> 00:23:41.740
because he knew either they were going to kill
00:23:41.740 --> 00:23:44.480
him. or the com or the country was going to revolt
00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:46.420
or they were going to free him and he was going
00:23:46.420 --> 00:23:49.579
to have to lead this is the exact way that we
00:23:49.579 --> 00:23:53.680
must all aspire in our own minds is to take responsibility
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:57.059
even when you're imprisoned imprison your own
00:23:57.059 --> 00:23:59.339
mind imprisoned with your body you have the right
00:23:59.339 --> 00:24:01.500
to choose you have the right to make a decision
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:03.920
what it's going to mean and pain and suffering
00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:06.759
aren't the same thing pain is when someone punches
00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:09.880
you and it breaks your arm this is pain suffering
00:24:09.880 --> 00:24:12.509
is when you say oh It's me, this herb, I'm so
00:24:12.509 --> 00:24:14.750
this, why did this happen to me? This is suffering.
00:24:15.170 --> 00:24:17.990
Suffering is a choice. In this, of course, there's
00:24:17.990 --> 00:24:19.789
people that are suffering all over the world
00:24:19.789 --> 00:24:22.410
or in pain that don't have a choice. It doesn't
00:24:22.410 --> 00:24:24.789
apply to them. There's a billion people that
00:24:24.789 --> 00:24:27.230
don't have running water. There's 300 million
00:24:27.230 --> 00:24:28.730
women that can't go to school because they're
00:24:28.730 --> 00:24:31.190
women. If you are blessed and privileged enough
00:24:31.190 --> 00:24:33.650
to be listening to this thing, two regular guys
00:24:33.650 --> 00:24:36.430
talking on a podcast, be able to hear something
00:24:36.430 --> 00:24:39.839
with a digital device. and you have your limbs,
00:24:39.940 --> 00:24:43.099
you have your faculties, you're privileged to
00:24:43.099 --> 00:24:45.779
have these luxuries, then you have a choice.
00:24:46.619 --> 00:24:50.319
That's so true, Ari. That's so true. Thank you
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:53.380
so much for sharing that wonderful words of wisdom
00:24:53.380 --> 00:24:58.220
and being able to help me think and also our
00:24:58.220 --> 00:25:01.180
audiences think what mindset they have to set
00:25:01.180 --> 00:25:04.720
in terms of taking your own ownership for their
00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:07.519
personal development. The next question I'm going
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:10.319
to ask you, I can just say by talking to you,
00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:13.099
you're a very humble person. You have a lot of
00:25:13.099 --> 00:25:16.339
humility. And I'm sure that translates into the
00:25:16.339 --> 00:25:20.119
work you do as well with your clients. But you're
00:25:20.119 --> 00:25:22.619
also very successful and success comes with ambition.
00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:25.779
Can I ask you from your experience, how do you
00:25:25.779 --> 00:25:28.619
balance ambition with humility, especially after
00:25:28.619 --> 00:25:32.400
experiencing a major win or a major loss? I am
00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:36.400
not humble. in the sense of the word humble that
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:43.019
i think less of myself i am in awe that i've
00:25:43.019 --> 00:25:47.039
been so blessed in my life there's a difference
00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:50.880
or yes i've worked very hard but in my business
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:53.339
in the construction business and in life i see
00:25:53.339 --> 00:25:56.519
a lot of people that work hard very hard especially
00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.019
my construction workers insane they get up you
00:25:59.019 --> 00:26:01.259
know before the sun comes up and they work till
00:26:01.259 --> 00:26:05.640
the sun comes down and I'm in awe of how many
00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:09.640
people have helped me. I'm in awe of the grace
00:26:09.640 --> 00:26:12.220
that I've had. I'm in awe that I got to be born
00:26:12.220 --> 00:26:14.900
in America. I'm in awe that I got to go to the
00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:17.279
school I got to go to. I'm in awe of the friends
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:19.740
that I've been surrounded with, the staff that
00:26:19.740 --> 00:26:21.559
I have, the people who believed in our vision
00:26:21.559 --> 00:26:25.299
of our investors of our. projects because life
00:26:25.299 --> 00:26:28.480
is not individual sports. Life is team sports.
00:26:28.700 --> 00:26:32.200
Nobody accomplishes anything alone by themselves.
00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:37.500
And even if yes, so my success maybe is not mine.
00:26:38.170 --> 00:26:42.269
It's shared. And I know from enough failure and
00:26:42.269 --> 00:26:45.549
enough success and enough things that I have
00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:48.710
so much gratitude for my teachers, for my teammates,
00:26:48.950 --> 00:26:51.990
for my partners, for all the different things
00:26:51.990 --> 00:26:54.450
that have come in, the wisdom that I've had from
00:26:54.450 --> 00:26:57.470
gifts from so many people in so many different
00:26:57.470 --> 00:27:02.809
ways that me expressing it in a way that would
00:27:02.809 --> 00:27:05.789
appear not humble by the definition you're talking
00:27:05.789 --> 00:27:10.039
about just wouldn't be the truth. And so it's
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:14.220
not that I think less of myself. I think less
00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:18.279
about myself. But this wasn't always the case.
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.119
I was very arrogant. I was very angry. I was
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:25.910
very self -absorbed. I was very unhappy. And
00:27:25.910 --> 00:27:30.250
it wasn't until I started to understand the reality
00:27:30.250 --> 00:27:34.789
of the grace that exists in life, the gift that
00:27:34.789 --> 00:27:38.029
it is to have. We have a heart in our chest,
00:27:38.170 --> 00:27:43.410
okay, that beats 100 ,000 times a day. And you
00:27:43.410 --> 00:27:45.829
don't even have to think about it. This is a
00:27:45.829 --> 00:27:49.250
gift. Truly. And not in some woo -woo words.
00:27:49.289 --> 00:27:53.380
This is a gift. No. It's a fucking gift. They
00:27:53.380 --> 00:27:55.900
have this one life to do this thing and it doesn't
00:27:55.900 --> 00:27:58.779
happen in a vacuum. And the minute you realize
00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:01.720
that, actually realize that, your whole world
00:28:01.720 --> 00:28:04.180
changes. That's so true. Changing the mindset
00:28:04.180 --> 00:28:07.140
even actually helps us a lot, you know, to think
00:28:07.140 --> 00:28:09.599
onto the life differently with a different set
00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:12.400
of eyes and not just being, you know, feeling
00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:16.940
bad for ourselves, but feeling bad serves no
00:28:16.940 --> 00:28:21.059
one. That's so true. Feeling bad serves no one.
00:28:21.819 --> 00:28:24.920
That's so true. If your life is about contribution
00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:27.859
and that's how you build a big business, you
00:28:27.859 --> 00:28:30.220
serve more people. They asked John D. Rockefeller,
00:28:30.380 --> 00:28:33.880
how did you become a billionaire? He said, easy.
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:37.519
I made a thousand people millionaires. Wow. That's
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:40.440
powerful. Yeah. And this is the whole point.
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:45.759
We are all equal as souls, but we're not equal
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:49.490
in the marketplace. Yeah, yeah. Whoever gives
00:28:49.490 --> 00:28:54.369
more value, that's who gets the money. Yes, that's
00:28:54.369 --> 00:28:59.630
so true. That's so true, Ari. Ari, I know from
00:28:59.630 --> 00:29:02.309
your track record, you're a winner. You have
00:29:02.309 --> 00:29:05.789
done so many investments. You run a multi -billion
00:29:05.789 --> 00:29:08.490
dollar company. What does winning look like to
00:29:08.490 --> 00:29:12.730
you now compared to when you began your career
00:29:12.730 --> 00:29:17.460
in very early stage? Winning now, before winning
00:29:17.460 --> 00:29:20.000
to me was maybe about how much money I made.
00:29:20.180 --> 00:29:22.599
You know, if I was winning, I was winning a deal,
00:29:22.619 --> 00:29:26.559
I was winning a business. Now winning is having
00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:31.940
control over how I feel. Controlling my state.
00:29:32.059 --> 00:29:36.319
If I won the day. I kept my mind and my heart
00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:39.700
centered around my blessings. I kept more of
00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:42.920
my time centered around gratitude, around joy,
00:29:43.299 --> 00:29:46.019
around these feelings, because it's always a
00:29:46.019 --> 00:29:48.559
choice. Can you focus on what's wrong? Yeah.
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:51.660
Or you can focus what's on right. They're both
00:29:51.660 --> 00:29:55.200
available. And the day that I spend more of my
00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:59.539
time focusing on what's right. is winning. Thanks
00:29:59.539 --> 00:30:01.980
for so clearly and precisely explaining that.
00:30:02.099 --> 00:30:04.680
I hope our listeners will have food for thought
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:08.799
on that one. Ari, I wanted to ask you one last
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:11.960
question, but not last in terms of being the
00:30:11.960 --> 00:30:14.640
last, but it's very important to me because I
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:17.900
want to learn that from you. When you look back,
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:22.619
which setback are you most grateful for and why?
00:30:24.220 --> 00:30:28.859
I am most grateful You mean as a businessman
00:30:28.859 --> 00:30:33.819
or in life? What category? Because there's been
00:30:33.819 --> 00:30:36.599
several setbacks in different ways. I want to
00:30:36.599 --> 00:30:40.220
make sure I answer your question. I would like
00:30:40.220 --> 00:30:44.420
to know in the perspective of your, from your
00:30:44.420 --> 00:30:47.039
personal development, but in association with
00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:49.279
your career growth. Sorry, I'm making it a bit
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:53.650
complicated, but I think in my career. As a business
00:30:53.650 --> 00:30:56.809
person, and I talk about it in my book, I started
00:30:56.809 --> 00:30:59.930
a massive entertainment company in my 20s. And
00:30:59.930 --> 00:31:02.849
we basically did everything right. We signed
00:31:02.849 --> 00:31:05.150
the biggest act in the world, the Black Eyed
00:31:05.150 --> 00:31:08.710
Peas, for the Super Bowl in Dallas. We had Sports
00:31:08.710 --> 00:31:12.430
Illustrated sponsor it. We sold tables for $50
00:31:12.430 --> 00:31:16.599
,000, tickets for thousands of dollars. We used
00:31:16.599 --> 00:31:19.740
our minds, our bodies, our work ethic, our ingenuity,
00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:22.839
and had the biggest celebrities in the world
00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:26.460
sign up to come to our event. And then the biggest
00:31:26.460 --> 00:31:29.160
ice storm in the history of Dallas destroyed
00:31:29.160 --> 00:31:31.559
the profitability of the party. And then the
00:31:31.559 --> 00:31:35.079
following week, I had won a poker match against
00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:38.420
Hugh Hefner to rent the Playboy Mansion to throw
00:31:38.420 --> 00:31:40.799
a party at the Playboy Mansion. A longer story.
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:44.039
And then we had Snoop Dogg performing at the
00:31:44.039 --> 00:31:46.859
NBA All -Star Weekend at the Playboy Mansion.
00:31:47.160 --> 00:31:50.180
And then Legionnaire's disease broke out at the
00:31:50.180 --> 00:31:53.119
Playboy Mansion. The party got canceled. I tell
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:55.880
you, this happened within one week of each other.
00:31:56.039 --> 00:31:59.740
These two insane, out -of -the -blue things.
00:32:00.019 --> 00:32:03.660
And it taught me before I became a professional
00:32:03.660 --> 00:32:07.460
investor that I needed to focus on what could
00:32:07.460 --> 00:32:14.019
go wrong to protect my clients, to protect their
00:32:14.019 --> 00:32:17.990
interests. and manage the downside and have risk
00:32:17.990 --> 00:32:21.369
management control instead of focusing on how
00:32:21.369 --> 00:32:23.730
much money we can make, how good things could
00:32:23.730 --> 00:32:26.730
go. Because if you focus for the downside and
00:32:26.730 --> 00:32:29.490
you prepare even for the unplannable, you keep
00:32:29.490 --> 00:32:32.970
extra cash, you have all the contingencies in
00:32:32.970 --> 00:32:35.769
place, you can then increase the probability
00:32:35.769 --> 00:32:38.930
of how much money or how much success you can
00:32:38.930 --> 00:32:41.549
have. It's called a hedge. It's called risk management,
00:32:41.869 --> 00:32:45.000
downside protection, whatever term. And I'm so
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:48.339
glad that happened as a young man in my 20s.
00:32:48.339 --> 00:32:50.319
I went to sleep a millionaire and I woke up broke.
00:32:50.579 --> 00:32:52.640
I was a millionaire for about seven or eight
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:56.480
hours in my 20s. And I'm so glad that I did it
00:32:56.480 --> 00:33:00.019
then when the stakes were so low instead of doing
00:33:00.019 --> 00:33:02.519
it now with billions and billions of dollars.
00:33:03.130 --> 00:33:05.789
And when that's capital that belongs to firefighters
00:33:05.789 --> 00:33:09.069
and teachers and hardworking people that invest
00:33:09.069 --> 00:33:11.130
with us, trust us, it doesn't guarantee every
00:33:11.130 --> 00:33:13.650
deal is going to make sense, but it does guarantee
00:33:13.650 --> 00:33:17.130
that I focus on my customers and the objective
00:33:17.130 --> 00:33:21.500
and not think about my own self -interest. Thank
00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:23.819
you so much, Ari. That was so wonderful talking
00:33:23.819 --> 00:33:25.779
to you. I know you're a very busy person, but
00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:28.460
you gave some of your very valuable time this
00:33:28.460 --> 00:33:31.480
evening to talk to me and my audience and support
00:33:31.480 --> 00:33:33.980
them a little bit, understanding what actually
00:33:33.980 --> 00:33:38.279
goes into a billionaire's mindset, their journey
00:33:38.279 --> 00:33:41.799
of seeing through all of that and what actually
00:33:41.799 --> 00:33:44.720
it leads at the end, how people should actually
00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.960
think this was a valuable, valuable episode.
00:33:47.980 --> 00:33:51.059
And I'm so happy too. have you and discuss with
00:33:51.059 --> 00:33:54.039
you thank you very much for having me buddy dear
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:55.759
listeners thank you so much for listening to
00:33:55.759 --> 00:33:58.599
this episode i hope you have a wonderful day
00:33:58.599 --> 00:34:02.299
but again i would really encourage you to go
00:34:02.299 --> 00:34:06.009
and check Ari Rastegar's website. I'll give the
00:34:06.009 --> 00:34:09.409
link into the description of the podcast as well
00:34:09.409 --> 00:34:11.710
as in the YouTube video as well. If you have
00:34:11.710 --> 00:34:14.309
any questions for Ari, if you're interested in
00:34:14.309 --> 00:34:17.389
his company, please feel free to visit that as
00:34:17.389 --> 00:34:20.090
well. Have a wonderful evening. Take care. See
00:34:20.090 --> 00:34:25.929
you guys soon. Thank you, brother. Thank you
00:34:25.929 --> 00:34:28.449
for joining us on the Active Action podcast at
00:34:28.449 --> 00:34:31.710
activeaction .fm. We hope today's episode gave
00:34:31.710 --> 00:34:34.340
you some entertainment. fresh perspectives and
00:34:34.340 --> 00:34:36.980
a little extra motivation to take action in your
00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:39.760
own life don't forget to subscribe so you never
00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:42.900
miss an episode and if you enjoyed the show share
00:34:42.900 --> 00:34:45.440
it with someone who might love it too visit our
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:48.780
website activeaction .fm to enjoy all episodes
00:34:48.780 --> 00:34:51.860
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Now sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode.
00:00:48.740 --> 00:00:51.399
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode
00:00:51.399 --> 00:00:54.200
of the Active Action Podcast. It's me, your host,
00:00:54.280 --> 00:00:57.520
Nazeeb, back again with another amazing guest.
00:00:57.759 --> 00:01:02.939
And today I have with us... Ari Rastegar. Ari
00:01:02.939 --> 00:01:07.060
is the founder and CEO of the Rastegar Capital,
00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:10.959
a leading real estate investment fund. So Ari
00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:14.159
Rastegar is a real estate investor, author, and
00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:18.019
entrepreneur known for turning failure into long
00:01:18.019 --> 00:01:22.019
-term leverage. And he started with just $3 ,500
00:01:22.019 --> 00:01:26.379
loan while Studying at a law school, he went
00:01:26.379 --> 00:01:29.500
on to building a multi -billion dollar real estate
00:01:29.500 --> 00:01:32.560
portfolio. And along that way, he learned that
00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:35.739
real success isn't just about capital, but it's
00:01:35.739 --> 00:01:38.760
about clarity, resilience, and health as well.
00:01:53.469 --> 00:01:57.129
750 ,000 followers across different social media
00:01:57.129 --> 00:02:00.430
platforms. That's huge. Thank you so much, Ari,
00:02:00.530 --> 00:02:02.810
for joining today's podcast. How are you doing
00:02:02.810 --> 00:02:06.150
this evening, my man? I'm living the dream. Wonderful,
00:02:06.310 --> 00:02:09.650
Ari. I'm so happy to have you in my podcast today
00:02:09.650 --> 00:02:12.330
and hoping that our listeners would be benefited
00:02:12.330 --> 00:02:14.830
from our conversations and the wonderful story
00:02:14.830 --> 00:02:18.259
that you have. overturn and build this empire
00:02:18.259 --> 00:02:20.900
and having such a huge number of followers i
00:02:20.900 --> 00:02:24.020
know people looking to you as role models for
00:02:24.020 --> 00:02:26.939
businesses for advices so i'm happy to have you
00:02:26.939 --> 00:02:30.500
in my episode to share some of that word of wisdom
00:02:30.500 --> 00:02:35.740
with you ari this evening happy to be here ari
00:02:35.740 --> 00:02:38.650
so you have built a success in high pressure
00:02:38.650 --> 00:02:41.490
environments, if I understand. What did you learn
00:02:41.490 --> 00:02:44.250
about yourself through going on those moments
00:02:44.250 --> 00:02:48.270
and when even things didn't go as planned? Well,
00:02:48.330 --> 00:02:50.729
thank you for the question. Whenever you're after
00:02:50.729 --> 00:02:54.069
something that's bigger than you, you know, and
00:02:54.069 --> 00:02:56.789
I say that because wherever your level of consciousness
00:02:56.789 --> 00:02:59.590
is, wherever your level of thinking is, when
00:02:59.590 --> 00:03:01.750
you're pushing for something new, you have to
00:03:01.750 --> 00:03:05.250
grow. If it's looking to make more money, if
00:03:05.250 --> 00:03:08.219
it's looking to change your body. to your health,
00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:11.139
to travel. Whatever you're doing, you're looking
00:03:11.139 --> 00:03:13.819
to push a boundary. And when you're pushing a
00:03:13.819 --> 00:03:16.800
boundary, you're changing. And when you're changing,
00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:20.719
that requires growth. And growth requires pressure.
00:03:21.259 --> 00:03:23.500
Just if you're lifting weights, if you want to
00:03:23.500 --> 00:03:26.020
grow your muscles, you push pressure. But coal
00:03:26.020 --> 00:03:29.300
is going to become a diamond. It requires pressure.
00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:34.360
The universal truth of any type of growth is
00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:37.889
pressure. And so one of the great skills that
00:03:37.889 --> 00:03:41.389
we can learn as human beings is to be able to
00:03:41.389 --> 00:03:45.900
be calm. in pressure. And one of the greatest
00:03:45.900 --> 00:03:49.139
tools that I've learned for this is meditation.
00:03:49.740 --> 00:03:51.879
And I know a lot of people have talked about
00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:54.879
meditation and there is many different kinds.
00:03:54.979 --> 00:03:59.080
You know, there's a Vedic tradition. I've recently
00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:02.280
done a lot of work with Dr. Joe Dispenza. And
00:04:02.280 --> 00:04:05.500
if you all know Dr. Joe, and if you don't, you
00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:07.960
should absolutely look him up. He's a phenomenal,
00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:11.400
phenomenal neuroscientist. teacher professor
00:04:11.400 --> 00:04:16.879
that has really created a way to make science
00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:21.180
the language of mysticism for now we can see
00:04:21.180 --> 00:04:25.699
what happens to our heart when we start to come
00:04:25.699 --> 00:04:28.300
into a more meditative state to look at our brain
00:04:28.300 --> 00:04:31.279
waves and see what happens because now we can
00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:34.379
look at heart scans and see what the heart rate
00:04:34.379 --> 00:04:37.759
variability of a heart with anxiety looks then
00:04:37.759 --> 00:04:39.899
we can see what a heart with gratitude looks
00:04:39.899 --> 00:04:43.180
like And there's ways that we can train ourselves
00:04:43.180 --> 00:04:46.480
through this practice to have a more coherent
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:50.040
heart and a more coherent mind. And those things
00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:53.259
allow us to live a more coherent life. And so
00:04:53.259 --> 00:04:56.060
no matter what you're after, no matter what your
00:04:56.060 --> 00:04:58.259
goal is, no matter what you're looking to achieve,
00:04:59.870 --> 00:05:02.269
Amounts of stress. And trust me, I've been there.
00:05:02.329 --> 00:05:04.509
I wrote a whole book about failure. And I can
00:05:04.509 --> 00:05:06.430
only speak to this to you because I've done it
00:05:06.430 --> 00:05:10.589
so bad for so long that desperation led me to
00:05:10.589 --> 00:05:12.990
change. And that's what usually happens. It's
00:05:12.990 --> 00:05:15.610
not inspiration that makes us change in my experience.
00:05:15.910 --> 00:05:19.730
It's necessity that makes us change. And I found
00:05:19.730 --> 00:05:23.589
that being able to have a practice, a practice
00:05:23.589 --> 00:05:27.399
of stillness where I can close my eyes. and go
00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:30.339
into a place where I can focus on the space around
00:05:30.339 --> 00:05:33.939
my body and be able to calm my mind and calm
00:05:33.939 --> 00:05:39.199
my brain, that is preparation for activity. So
00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:41.160
that before you go out in the day, all of a sudden,
00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:43.339
we've all done this. We wake up and immediately
00:05:43.339 --> 00:05:45.100
we look at our phone and we're in a hurry and
00:05:45.100 --> 00:05:46.459
you're jumping around and you're getting ready
00:05:46.459 --> 00:05:48.439
and you're chasing the kids and you're trying
00:05:48.439 --> 00:05:51.920
to eat something on the run. This type of behavior...
00:05:52.839 --> 00:05:58.339
is not conducive to the type of thoughtful, calm,
00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:02.759
patient, tactical approach to build things that
00:06:02.759 --> 00:06:05.240
are meaningful. To build, you know, this type
00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:07.379
of person doesn't sound like a boss you want
00:06:07.379 --> 00:06:09.879
to have. Doesn't sound like a CEO you want to
00:06:09.879 --> 00:06:12.560
have or a leader you want to have. Or a dad that's
00:06:12.560 --> 00:06:14.279
just jumping up and running around the room trying
00:06:14.279 --> 00:06:16.120
to get kids ready, running around like crazy.
00:06:17.129 --> 00:06:20.350
So if we can take a moment and we can invest
00:06:20.350 --> 00:06:24.230
in ourselves to calm the mind, even for five
00:06:24.230 --> 00:06:27.750
minutes, and so we can start our day or in the
00:06:27.750 --> 00:06:29.490
middle of the day when we get stressed and we
00:06:29.490 --> 00:06:31.689
reach for the extra coffee or something, if we
00:06:31.689 --> 00:06:35.470
can take a moment to pause and reset the body
00:06:35.470 --> 00:06:38.689
and go after the things we're doing, it is a
00:06:38.689 --> 00:06:43.550
phenomenal tool, phenomenal gift to help everything
00:06:43.550 --> 00:06:47.579
in your life come from a deeper... empathetic
00:06:47.579 --> 00:06:51.240
place from a deeper calm from a place of more
00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:54.500
balance and more harmony and I run a very big
00:06:54.500 --> 00:06:57.199
business as you said I'm a father of three and
00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:00.560
these are things that have helped me so profoundly
00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:03.899
deal with anything when the world is kicking
00:07:03.899 --> 00:07:06.699
at you emails and text messages and begging for
00:07:06.699 --> 00:07:09.040
your attention jumping here and there but if
00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:11.639
we can take a moment to center to physically
00:07:11.639 --> 00:07:14.920
center and make that a part of our practice we
00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:17.079
put ourselves in a position where we can thrive
00:07:17.079 --> 00:07:19.879
in anything that we're doing That's so wonderful
00:07:19.879 --> 00:07:23.420
to hear, Ari. And many of us don't put that perspective
00:07:23.420 --> 00:07:26.300
or don't put that time, as you mentioned, invest
00:07:26.300 --> 00:07:29.699
yourself to know what is good for your mental
00:07:29.699 --> 00:07:34.199
well -being, but also how to prioritize your
00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:36.939
work. You are a family man. I can see you have
00:07:36.939 --> 00:07:39.439
a father of three, but you also have a multi
00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:42.000
-billion dollar business. So navigating those
00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:45.120
two very different situations and very different
00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:51.589
scenarios. does demand having a mental calmness
00:07:51.589 --> 00:07:54.250
and peace and stability to navigate effectively
00:07:54.250 --> 00:07:58.209
both ways. Ari, again, I wanted to ask you, you
00:07:58.209 --> 00:08:01.629
have seen everything in life. You started with
00:08:01.629 --> 00:08:07.350
a $3 ,500 loan when you were in law school, and
00:08:07.350 --> 00:08:10.269
now you're the CEO and founder of a multi -billion
00:08:10.269 --> 00:08:14.040
dollar business. I know that you have gone through
00:08:14.040 --> 00:08:18.259
the pipeline of being in between failure and
00:08:18.259 --> 00:08:21.300
success. A lot of our audiences are currently
00:08:21.300 --> 00:08:24.180
struggling on their very initial phase of life.
00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:27.620
And so from your experience, is there a difference
00:08:27.620 --> 00:08:31.740
between failing and being a failure? And if so,
00:08:31.819 --> 00:08:35.200
how do people mentally cross that line and how
00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:38.100
do they come back from it? Well, I'll tell you,
00:08:38.120 --> 00:08:40.600
thank you for the question again, because questions
00:08:40.600 --> 00:08:44.320
are the answer. You know, amateurs look for answers,
00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:47.700
professionals seek better questions. And I'll
00:08:47.700 --> 00:08:50.379
tell you, yes, there is a huge difference. The
00:08:50.379 --> 00:08:55.019
only true failure is quitting. Otherwise, it's
00:08:55.019 --> 00:09:00.080
not failure, it's temporary defeat. And my definition
00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:04.259
now of failure is learning how to win. Everybody
00:09:04.259 --> 00:09:07.889
that learns any skill. Anybody listening to this
00:09:07.889 --> 00:09:10.190
that has learned some skill, you say, oh, I haven't
00:09:10.190 --> 00:09:11.750
learned anything. Well, you learned how to walk.
00:09:11.950 --> 00:09:14.710
You learned how to talk, at the very least. And
00:09:14.710 --> 00:09:17.190
didn't you stutter at first? Didn't you talk
00:09:17.190 --> 00:09:20.429
like that? When you first learned to stand up,
00:09:20.450 --> 00:09:22.769
didn't you fall down? And then didn't you get
00:09:22.769 --> 00:09:25.610
back up? Didn't you say a word wrong? And then
00:09:25.610 --> 00:09:28.610
you practice it and you said it right? Failure
00:09:28.610 --> 00:09:34.970
is the human process of how we learn, okay? The
00:09:34.970 --> 00:09:38.990
difference is the greatest achievers in the world
00:09:38.990 --> 00:09:43.289
fail more, not less. And the difference is they
00:09:43.289 --> 00:09:45.629
keep going. So if you're right now listening
00:09:45.629 --> 00:09:48.590
to this and you're failing, I'd like to congratulate
00:09:48.590 --> 00:09:52.169
you because you are actually starting to win.
00:09:52.429 --> 00:09:55.850
You're actually separating yourself from those
00:09:55.850 --> 00:10:01.779
poor, timid souls that don't even try. They just
00:10:01.779 --> 00:10:04.419
sit on the couch or they sit somewhere else and
00:10:04.419 --> 00:10:07.460
they don't even attempt. So if you are failing,
00:10:07.740 --> 00:10:10.820
that means you're courageous. It means that you're
00:10:10.820 --> 00:10:13.779
brave. It means that you're in the arena. It
00:10:13.779 --> 00:10:16.860
means that you're doing it. And my wish for you
00:10:16.860 --> 00:10:20.500
is I hope you fail. And I hope you fail a lot
00:10:20.500 --> 00:10:24.019
because it's in that failure. It's in that pain.
00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:26.899
It's in that suffering. It's in those dark nights
00:10:26.899 --> 00:10:30.980
of the soul that you grow. that you overcome
00:10:30.980 --> 00:10:35.059
your old self to become the person. This is the
00:10:35.059 --> 00:10:38.820
gift because problems, when I say problem to
00:10:38.820 --> 00:10:42.039
you, everybody immediately probably thinks bad,
00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:47.620
right? The great tragedy of humans is that we
00:10:47.620 --> 00:10:50.679
think we're not supposed to have problems. Everybody
00:10:50.679 --> 00:10:54.620
has problems. Here's a new definition for you.
00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:59.690
Ready? Yeah, sure. Problems are the gifts that
00:10:59.690 --> 00:11:03.269
we grow from. If you didn't have a problem, you
00:11:03.269 --> 00:11:06.190
wouldn't have the opportunity to grow. So true,
00:11:06.289 --> 00:11:10.309
Ari. That's so true. And I know you speak from
00:11:10.309 --> 00:11:12.950
experience. Again, a tunnel has two sides. Oh,
00:11:12.950 --> 00:11:16.429
I speak from a lot of experience of fucking every
00:11:16.429 --> 00:11:21.149
single thing up possible. I am the only thing
00:11:21.149 --> 00:11:24.549
I've gotten very good at. You lived through those
00:11:24.549 --> 00:11:27.269
experiences, right? Yeah. And I'm still here.
00:11:27.370 --> 00:11:30.330
I'm still here. I have more gray hair. Definitely.
00:11:31.509 --> 00:11:35.070
I'm a little bruised. I'm a little tired. My
00:11:35.070 --> 00:11:39.629
head is bloody, but my head is unbowed. My chin
00:11:39.629 --> 00:11:43.309
is up. And this is the difference. We're not
00:11:43.309 --> 00:11:47.899
told that we're supposed to fail. We're not told
00:11:47.899 --> 00:11:51.799
that it's supposed to be hard. It's meant to
00:11:51.799 --> 00:11:55.039
be hard. Just if you're doing bench press, you're
00:11:55.039 --> 00:11:58.120
pushing the bench press. The first rep of lightweight,
00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:00.919
nothing happens. The second weight lightweight,
00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:07.960
nothing happens. On the last one or two, 95 %
00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:14.710
of the growth happens in the last two reps. This
00:12:14.710 --> 00:12:17.610
is the same in everything. That's so true. Ari,
00:12:17.730 --> 00:12:22.149
so then when someone actually faces that failure,
00:12:22.230 --> 00:12:25.090
we know the failure would actually take them
00:12:25.090 --> 00:12:30.129
to success at one point. Well, let's talk about
00:12:30.129 --> 00:12:33.350
that for a second. Okay. Not necessarily. But
00:12:33.350 --> 00:12:35.830
let me tell you, there's a formula, I think.
00:12:37.230 --> 00:12:40.480
You failed. Okay. And I failed a lot. Read my
00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:43.320
book, The Gift of Failure. If you read my book
00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:45.700
or you listen to it on Spotify, you can buy it
00:12:45.700 --> 00:12:48.580
on Amazon or Audible. The first line of the book
00:12:48.580 --> 00:12:51.620
is, I hope you fail. I hope you fail a lot. Okay.
00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:55.100
And in some of these soul crushing failures I
00:12:55.100 --> 00:12:57.840
experienced in business and health, you know,
00:12:57.860 --> 00:13:00.320
in life and different things, the thing that
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:04.549
I've learned, okay. is that when you fail, not
00:13:04.549 --> 00:13:07.049
if, when, you're going to fail in whatever. And
00:13:07.049 --> 00:13:09.570
so you might as well shoot big. You might as
00:13:09.570 --> 00:13:11.269
well try to do something big because either you're
00:13:11.269 --> 00:13:14.830
going to fail real small and win small, but if
00:13:14.830 --> 00:13:17.370
you at least shoot big, you'll fail big, and
00:13:17.370 --> 00:13:19.409
then you can make it big. So if you're trying
00:13:19.409 --> 00:13:21.269
to fail, you're going to fail no matter what
00:13:21.269 --> 00:13:24.490
you do. You can fail at a little job or you can
00:13:24.490 --> 00:13:27.730
fail at a big job. I prefer to try to fail at
00:13:27.730 --> 00:13:30.789
a big job, and I recommend that as well because
00:13:30.789 --> 00:13:34.149
you're going to fail anyway. And if you keep
00:13:34.149 --> 00:13:37.690
going, then you'll succeed. But one of the key
00:13:37.690 --> 00:13:42.250
ingredients is when you fail at something, most
00:13:42.250 --> 00:13:46.129
people who are ambitious, let's say, get back
00:13:46.129 --> 00:13:48.830
up. Good for you. Because you have to keep going.
00:13:49.129 --> 00:13:50.769
Resilient people, right? Yeah. Resilient people
00:13:50.769 --> 00:13:52.789
get back up. Those who are resilient, yeah. But
00:13:52.789 --> 00:13:55.950
I highly recommend you don't get back up so quickly.
00:13:56.629 --> 00:13:59.409
I recommend that when you fall and you land on
00:13:59.409 --> 00:14:03.049
your back, lay there. Lay there for a little
00:14:03.049 --> 00:14:07.690
bit and think about what went wrong, what went
00:14:07.690 --> 00:14:11.830
right, what happened. Trace your steps. When
00:14:11.830 --> 00:14:14.490
you look at the best athletes in the world, okay,
00:14:14.549 --> 00:14:17.350
one of the things they all do, they watch film.
00:14:18.029 --> 00:14:21.210
They watch hours and hours and hours and hours
00:14:21.210 --> 00:14:24.330
of their own games, of their competitors, watching
00:14:24.330 --> 00:14:26.750
every move of what happened, what went wrong
00:14:26.750 --> 00:14:29.779
in a play, what went right in a play. Same thing
00:14:29.779 --> 00:14:31.600
you should do in your life. Lay on your back
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:34.039
for a little bit. Don't get up so quickly. Lay
00:14:34.039 --> 00:14:37.120
there. And first of all, don't get too comfortable
00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:38.600
because you don't want to be there for too long.
00:14:38.679 --> 00:14:41.139
But you want to be there enough to know what
00:14:41.139 --> 00:14:43.899
went wrong, what went right. And then when you
00:14:43.899 --> 00:14:46.600
realize what went wrong and what went right,
00:14:46.679 --> 00:14:49.759
you can do what went right again. And what went
00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:52.179
wrong, not to do that again. And you can learn
00:14:52.179 --> 00:14:55.100
the lesson because you have to have introspection
00:14:55.100 --> 00:14:59.620
to look back. Find out what went wrong. Ask why
00:14:59.620 --> 00:15:04.179
it went wrong. Learn, then get back up. It is
00:15:04.179 --> 00:15:09.299
only a gift if you look back and you learn and
00:15:09.299 --> 00:15:13.820
you let failure be feedback and then persist
00:15:13.820 --> 00:15:16.100
in what you're doing. That's one of the most,
00:15:16.139 --> 00:15:18.820
most valuable advices I've gotten in such a long
00:15:18.820 --> 00:15:21.799
time, Ari. Everyone just, you know, says that,
00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:24.559
okay, so you have failed, so you'll get back
00:15:24.559 --> 00:15:27.340
up and just regain that strength. But a very
00:15:27.340 --> 00:15:31.000
important thing, That I have learned. If I do
00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:34.139
fail, then just take the time to reflect. Just
00:15:34.139 --> 00:15:36.559
lay low, but not again, not get too comfortable.
00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:39.519
But understand why that happened, right? Take
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:41.519
a nap. Think of it like taking a little nap.
00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:43.340
You don't want to sleep there. You don't want
00:15:43.340 --> 00:15:45.639
to sleep out there. But you might want to take
00:15:45.639 --> 00:15:49.240
a nap. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Sit with it.
00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:52.100
Sit with it for a second. Sit with yourself.
00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:58.100
and figure out what the fuck went wrong and also
00:15:58.100 --> 00:16:00.720
what went right because it's not not everything
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:04.519
went wrong you breathed you got to eat you met
00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:07.340
some nice people you try so it's not all everything
00:16:07.340 --> 00:16:10.700
went to shit that's bullshit too don't lie some
00:16:10.700 --> 00:16:13.080
things were right some things were good something
00:16:13.080 --> 00:16:15.860
were enjoyable some things you want to do again
00:16:15.860 --> 00:16:19.860
and just take inventory of what it is and maybe
00:16:19.860 --> 00:16:22.399
get a piece of paper. Benjamin Franklin used
00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:24.419
to, whenever before he was going to make a decision,
00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:27.240
he would take a piece of paper and draw a line
00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:29.720
in the middle and write the pros of why to do
00:16:29.720 --> 00:16:32.539
it, the cons of why not to do it. And it sounds
00:16:32.539 --> 00:16:35.220
very simple, but this is a very simple exercise
00:16:35.220 --> 00:16:37.559
where you can write down after this failure,
00:16:37.720 --> 00:16:40.299
you lie down there, you take a little nap, you
00:16:40.299 --> 00:16:44.220
take a little breather, you have to rest, recharge.
00:16:45.309 --> 00:16:48.450
before going at it again. Just when you go to
00:16:48.450 --> 00:16:50.590
the gym and you do a very hard workout, are you
00:16:50.590 --> 00:16:52.149
supposed to go to the gym the next day again?
00:16:53.110 --> 00:16:55.909
Just rest for a bit. Regain that composure. That's
00:16:55.909 --> 00:17:00.250
when muscles grow. This is when muscles grow.
00:17:01.169 --> 00:17:04.230
It's during the rest. The push is when you're
00:17:04.230 --> 00:17:07.349
ripping the muscle apart. The rest and the recovery
00:17:07.349 --> 00:17:10.230
is when you're growing. And this is the same
00:17:10.230 --> 00:17:12.970
for your emotions and your psychology. Push,
00:17:13.029 --> 00:17:18.460
fail, rest. figure out a plan, get back up, experiment,
00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:23.420
experience, repeat over and over again till you
00:17:23.420 --> 00:17:28.579
fail so much that one day you realize that you
00:17:28.579 --> 00:17:31.059
were a success all along. So wonderful, Ari,
00:17:31.140 --> 00:17:33.660
to hear. And thank you so much for sharing those
00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:36.559
words of wisdom, by the way, you know, and I'm
00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:39.000
sure our listeners would understand the deep
00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:42.720
meaning, the inner meaning that... you have been
00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:45.759
like telling them about taking the time to step
00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:48.440
back to assess the situation before you know
00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:52.019
diving into that because without like thinking
00:17:52.019 --> 00:17:55.039
without reflecting just diving back every time
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:57.880
can lead to failure again and again which someone
00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:00.779
might don't want to again ari i wanted to ask
00:18:00.779 --> 00:18:04.039
you another important aspect is that transparency
00:18:04.039 --> 00:18:07.309
is always helpful or transparency is important.
00:18:07.609 --> 00:18:10.829
Even when someone is reflecting their own self
00:18:10.829 --> 00:18:13.369
to others, or even when we are mixing in the
00:18:13.369 --> 00:18:16.170
society, even when we're talking ourselves to
00:18:16.170 --> 00:18:19.710
ourselves. It's often seen in competitive industries,
00:18:20.089 --> 00:18:22.789
people to hide their losses. They want to show
00:18:22.789 --> 00:18:25.329
themselves as prosperous. They're very good.
00:18:25.430 --> 00:18:27.589
That is what we see in the television. That is
00:18:27.589 --> 00:18:30.490
what we see when we see someone successful. We
00:18:30.490 --> 00:18:33.069
don't know what went behind them. This is just
00:18:33.069 --> 00:18:36.789
not reality. We can't mistake, we can't confuse
00:18:36.789 --> 00:18:42.930
Instagram, Photoshop with reality, okay? And
00:18:42.930 --> 00:18:46.269
I know what you mean, but if there's a difference
00:18:46.269 --> 00:18:50.809
between trying to control your brand, put yourself
00:18:50.809 --> 00:18:55.849
in the best light, this is fine. And I look at
00:18:55.849 --> 00:19:01.210
it as the... Most important promises. Because
00:19:01.210 --> 00:19:03.349
transparency is a promise if you think about
00:19:03.349 --> 00:19:07.329
it in a way. That's true. First, keep the promises
00:19:07.329 --> 00:19:12.109
you make to yourself. Because if you don't keep
00:19:12.109 --> 00:19:15.109
the promises you make to yourself, you don't
00:19:15.109 --> 00:19:17.289
have self -respect. I'll give you an example.
00:19:17.750 --> 00:19:20.329
People that say they have low self -esteem, they
00:19:20.329 --> 00:19:24.930
have low confidence. The reason why is because...
00:19:25.099 --> 00:19:27.000
They don't keep the promises they make to their
00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:28.920
self. And we've all done this. I'm going to go
00:19:28.920 --> 00:19:30.480
to the gym tomorrow. And you don't go to the
00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:33.119
gym. I'm going to start eating healthy. You don't
00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:35.920
start eating healthy. Think of it as the person
00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.480
in your brain is another person to understand
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:42.180
it. So you and me, I say to you, we're going
00:19:42.180 --> 00:19:44.180
to meet at the gym tomorrow at 8 o 'clock in
00:19:44.180 --> 00:19:46.259
the morning. And we both say, okay, I promise
00:19:46.259 --> 00:19:48.640
I'll meet you. You go to the gym at 8. I don't
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:52.400
show up. And you say, what the fuck? You didn't
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:55.279
come. And then later on, you call me and say,
00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:56.900
Ari, what the fuck? You told me you were going
00:19:56.900 --> 00:19:59.599
to come. And I say, oh, man, I got tied up. And
00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:01.259
you say, okay, no problem. Meet me tomorrow.
00:20:01.460 --> 00:20:03.019
I said, no problem. I promise I'll meet you there
00:20:03.019 --> 00:20:05.339
tomorrow at 8 o 'clock. 8 o 'clock comes tomorrow.
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:08.539
You're there. I'm not there. Then that time,
00:20:08.619 --> 00:20:10.559
what do you think about me? Am I a reliable person?
00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:14.220
Can you trust me? Now that's what you think about
00:20:14.220 --> 00:20:17.279
yourself. Every time that you tell yourself,
00:20:17.420 --> 00:20:19.180
I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to start
00:20:19.180 --> 00:20:21.460
running again, I'm going to start. So you keep
00:20:21.460 --> 00:20:24.640
lying to yourself over and over and over again.
00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:28.759
And you lose personal integrity. And someone
00:20:28.759 --> 00:20:31.359
that doesn't have personal integrity doesn't
00:20:31.359 --> 00:20:34.220
even have the privilege of keeping promises to
00:20:34.220 --> 00:20:36.099
other people. Those are the people that aren't
00:20:36.099 --> 00:20:38.400
transparent. Those are the people that aren't
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:41.519
vulnerable. The ones that learn to keep the promises
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:44.579
they make to themselves. are automatically transparent
00:20:44.579 --> 00:20:47.319
and vulnerable because there is power in vulnerability.
00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:51.140
And only people that have earned personal integrity
00:20:51.140 --> 00:20:55.299
promises to themselves can actually be vulnerable
00:20:55.299 --> 00:20:58.279
and know that true power lies in vulnerability,
00:20:58.700 --> 00:21:02.420
not in hiding. That's so true, Ari. I have never
00:21:02.420 --> 00:21:04.720
thought, I've never thought the way you just
00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:07.839
made me think. Well, you have a gift, Ari. You
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:10.859
made me think that if I, I would question myself
00:21:10.859 --> 00:21:14.480
if I'm not following up to my own word that I
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:17.359
give to myself and definitely is lingering with
00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:20.359
personal integrity. I'm lacking in, if I'm lacking
00:21:20.359 --> 00:21:22.460
in that, it will definitely be reflective in
00:21:22.460 --> 00:21:25.819
my actions. Beautiful. And would definitely render
00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:28.559
transparency to myself and to others as well.
00:21:28.859 --> 00:21:32.049
This is the, this should be the focus. And once
00:21:32.049 --> 00:21:36.289
we build by the promises we make to ourself,
00:21:36.549 --> 00:21:40.549
the promises to other people are easy. The hardest
00:21:40.549 --> 00:21:44.069
promise, the hardest transparency is you with
00:21:44.069 --> 00:21:49.490
you. That's so true. Yeah, indeed. Ari, can I
00:21:49.490 --> 00:21:52.089
ask you a question from your experience? What
00:21:52.089 --> 00:21:56.029
role does ownership play in turning adversity
00:21:56.029 --> 00:22:00.869
into growth? Everything. You have to take total
00:22:00.869 --> 00:22:04.470
responsibility. Total responsibility. Absolute
00:22:04.470 --> 00:22:08.069
responsibility. And remember, life isn't fair.
00:22:08.470 --> 00:22:11.710
It never was. It never will be. Okay? Period.
00:22:12.410 --> 00:22:14.470
There's always going to be things that happen.
00:22:14.569 --> 00:22:17.650
It's just not fair. And you might say it's not
00:22:17.650 --> 00:22:20.630
your fault. Maybe not, but it is your fucking
00:22:20.630 --> 00:22:23.269
responsibility. And if it's not your responsibility,
00:22:23.450 --> 00:22:25.769
that means one thing. It means that you don't
00:22:25.769 --> 00:22:28.150
have control. And if you don't have control,
00:22:28.410 --> 00:22:30.829
you don't have anything. And so when you take
00:22:30.829 --> 00:22:34.089
control of your own life, you're saying, I'm
00:22:34.089 --> 00:22:36.990
the master of my fate. I'm the captain of my
00:22:36.990 --> 00:22:39.970
soul. I am the creator of my life. I am not a
00:22:39.970 --> 00:22:42.289
manager of circumstances. I'm a fucking victim.
00:22:43.089 --> 00:22:45.490
I'm going to do what I can at least control my
00:22:45.490 --> 00:22:48.460
own thoughts. They asked Nelson Mandela. Nelson
00:22:48.460 --> 00:22:51.960
Mandela had been in prison now for at the time
00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:55.299
about 30 years and Tony Robbins got to interview
00:22:55.299 --> 00:22:58.940
him. And I love Tony Robbins, by the way. Tony
00:22:58.940 --> 00:23:02.819
Robbins is a global treasure. And anybody out
00:23:02.819 --> 00:23:04.539
there looking to change their life, go to a Tony
00:23:04.539 --> 00:23:06.720
Robbins seminar and give yourself the gift of
00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:09.119
immersion with people or listen to his audios,
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:11.640
read his books. I've read all of them, attended
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:13.720
a seminar. I did one of his virtual seminars
00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:16.519
two months ago in my living room. The learning
00:23:16.519 --> 00:23:18.880
never stops. Constant, never -ending improvement.
00:23:19.180 --> 00:23:23.319
Constantly never -ending improving. So Tony talked
00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:28.579
to Nelson, to Mr. Mandela, and he said, how did
00:23:28.579 --> 00:23:33.440
you survive all those years? And he looked at
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:39.299
him, he said, survive? I didn't survive. I prepared
00:23:39.299 --> 00:23:41.740
because he knew either they were going to kill
00:23:41.740 --> 00:23:44.480
him. or the com or the country was going to revolt
00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:46.420
or they were going to free him and he was going
00:23:46.420 --> 00:23:49.579
to have to lead this is the exact way that we
00:23:49.579 --> 00:23:53.680
must all aspire in our own minds is to take responsibility
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:57.059
even when you're imprisoned imprison your own
00:23:57.059 --> 00:23:59.339
mind imprisoned with your body you have the right
00:23:59.339 --> 00:24:01.500
to choose you have the right to make a decision
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:03.920
what it's going to mean and pain and suffering
00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:06.759
aren't the same thing pain is when someone punches
00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:09.880
you and it breaks your arm this is pain suffering
00:24:09.880 --> 00:24:12.509
is when you say oh It's me, this herb, I'm so
00:24:12.509 --> 00:24:14.750
this, why did this happen to me? This is suffering.
00:24:15.170 --> 00:24:17.990
Suffering is a choice. In this, of course, there's
00:24:17.990 --> 00:24:19.789
people that are suffering all over the world
00:24:19.789 --> 00:24:22.410
or in pain that don't have a choice. It doesn't
00:24:22.410 --> 00:24:24.789
apply to them. There's a billion people that
00:24:24.789 --> 00:24:27.230
don't have running water. There's 300 million
00:24:27.230 --> 00:24:28.730
women that can't go to school because they're
00:24:28.730 --> 00:24:31.190
women. If you are blessed and privileged enough
00:24:31.190 --> 00:24:33.650
to be listening to this thing, two regular guys
00:24:33.650 --> 00:24:36.430
talking on a podcast, be able to hear something
00:24:36.430 --> 00:24:39.839
with a digital device. and you have your limbs,
00:24:39.940 --> 00:24:43.099
you have your faculties, you're privileged to
00:24:43.099 --> 00:24:45.779
have these luxuries, then you have a choice.
00:24:46.619 --> 00:24:50.319
That's so true, Ari. That's so true. Thank you
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:53.380
so much for sharing that wonderful words of wisdom
00:24:53.380 --> 00:24:58.220
and being able to help me think and also our
00:24:58.220 --> 00:25:01.180
audiences think what mindset they have to set
00:25:01.180 --> 00:25:04.720
in terms of taking your own ownership for their
00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:07.519
personal development. The next question I'm going
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:10.319
to ask you, I can just say by talking to you,
00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:13.099
you're a very humble person. You have a lot of
00:25:13.099 --> 00:25:16.339
humility. And I'm sure that translates into the
00:25:16.339 --> 00:25:20.119
work you do as well with your clients. But you're
00:25:20.119 --> 00:25:22.619
also very successful and success comes with ambition.
00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:25.779
Can I ask you from your experience, how do you
00:25:25.779 --> 00:25:28.619
balance ambition with humility, especially after
00:25:28.619 --> 00:25:32.400
experiencing a major win or a major loss? I am
00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:36.400
not humble. in the sense of the word humble that
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:43.019
i think less of myself i am in awe that i've
00:25:43.019 --> 00:25:47.039
been so blessed in my life there's a difference
00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:50.880
or yes i've worked very hard but in my business
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:53.339
in the construction business and in life i see
00:25:53.339 --> 00:25:56.519
a lot of people that work hard very hard especially
00:25:56.519 --> 00:25:59.019
my construction workers insane they get up you
00:25:59.019 --> 00:26:01.259
know before the sun comes up and they work till
00:26:01.259 --> 00:26:05.640
the sun comes down and I'm in awe of how many
00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:09.640
people have helped me. I'm in awe of the grace
00:26:09.640 --> 00:26:12.220
that I've had. I'm in awe that I got to be born
00:26:12.220 --> 00:26:14.900
in America. I'm in awe that I got to go to the
00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:17.279
school I got to go to. I'm in awe of the friends
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:19.740
that I've been surrounded with, the staff that
00:26:19.740 --> 00:26:21.559
I have, the people who believed in our vision
00:26:21.559 --> 00:26:25.299
of our investors of our. projects because life
00:26:25.299 --> 00:26:28.480
is not individual sports. Life is team sports.
00:26:28.700 --> 00:26:32.200
Nobody accomplishes anything alone by themselves.
00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:37.500
And even if yes, so my success maybe is not mine.
00:26:38.170 --> 00:26:42.269
It's shared. And I know from enough failure and
00:26:42.269 --> 00:26:45.549
enough success and enough things that I have
00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:48.710
so much gratitude for my teachers, for my teammates,
00:26:48.950 --> 00:26:51.990
for my partners, for all the different things
00:26:51.990 --> 00:26:54.450
that have come in, the wisdom that I've had from
00:26:54.450 --> 00:26:57.470
gifts from so many people in so many different
00:26:57.470 --> 00:27:02.809
ways that me expressing it in a way that would
00:27:02.809 --> 00:27:05.789
appear not humble by the definition you're talking
00:27:05.789 --> 00:27:10.039
about just wouldn't be the truth. And so it's
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:14.220
not that I think less of myself. I think less
00:27:14.220 --> 00:27:18.279
about myself. But this wasn't always the case.
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.119
I was very arrogant. I was very angry. I was
00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:25.910
very self -absorbed. I was very unhappy. And
00:27:25.910 --> 00:27:30.250
it wasn't until I started to understand the reality
00:27:30.250 --> 00:27:34.789
of the grace that exists in life, the gift that
00:27:34.789 --> 00:27:38.029
it is to have. We have a heart in our chest,
00:27:38.170 --> 00:27:43.410
okay, that beats 100 ,000 times a day. And you
00:27:43.410 --> 00:27:45.829
don't even have to think about it. This is a
00:27:45.829 --> 00:27:49.250
gift. Truly. And not in some woo -woo words.
00:27:49.289 --> 00:27:53.380
This is a gift. No. It's a fucking gift. They
00:27:53.380 --> 00:27:55.900
have this one life to do this thing and it doesn't
00:27:55.900 --> 00:27:58.779
happen in a vacuum. And the minute you realize
00:27:58.779 --> 00:28:01.720
that, actually realize that, your whole world
00:28:01.720 --> 00:28:04.180
changes. That's so true. Changing the mindset
00:28:04.180 --> 00:28:07.140
even actually helps us a lot, you know, to think
00:28:07.140 --> 00:28:09.599
onto the life differently with a different set
00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:12.400
of eyes and not just being, you know, feeling
00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:16.940
bad for ourselves, but feeling bad serves no
00:28:16.940 --> 00:28:21.059
one. That's so true. Feeling bad serves no one.
00:28:21.819 --> 00:28:24.920
That's so true. If your life is about contribution
00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:27.859
and that's how you build a big business, you
00:28:27.859 --> 00:28:30.220
serve more people. They asked John D. Rockefeller,
00:28:30.380 --> 00:28:33.880
how did you become a billionaire? He said, easy.
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:37.519
I made a thousand people millionaires. Wow. That's
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:40.440
powerful. Yeah. And this is the whole point.
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:45.759
We are all equal as souls, but we're not equal
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:49.490
in the marketplace. Yeah, yeah. Whoever gives
00:28:49.490 --> 00:28:54.369
more value, that's who gets the money. Yes, that's
00:28:54.369 --> 00:28:59.630
so true. That's so true, Ari. Ari, I know from
00:28:59.630 --> 00:29:02.309
your track record, you're a winner. You have
00:29:02.309 --> 00:29:05.789
done so many investments. You run a multi -billion
00:29:05.789 --> 00:29:08.490
dollar company. What does winning look like to
00:29:08.490 --> 00:29:12.730
you now compared to when you began your career
00:29:12.730 --> 00:29:17.460
in very early stage? Winning now, before winning
00:29:17.460 --> 00:29:20.000
to me was maybe about how much money I made.
00:29:20.180 --> 00:29:22.599
You know, if I was winning, I was winning a deal,
00:29:22.619 --> 00:29:26.559
I was winning a business. Now winning is having
00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:31.940
control over how I feel. Controlling my state.
00:29:32.059 --> 00:29:36.319
If I won the day. I kept my mind and my heart
00:29:36.319 --> 00:29:39.700
centered around my blessings. I kept more of
00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:42.920
my time centered around gratitude, around joy,
00:29:43.299 --> 00:29:46.019
around these feelings, because it's always a
00:29:46.019 --> 00:29:48.559
choice. Can you focus on what's wrong? Yeah.
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:51.660
Or you can focus what's on right. They're both
00:29:51.660 --> 00:29:55.200
available. And the day that I spend more of my
00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:59.539
time focusing on what's right. is winning. Thanks
00:29:59.539 --> 00:30:01.980
for so clearly and precisely explaining that.
00:30:02.099 --> 00:30:04.680
I hope our listeners will have food for thought
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:08.799
on that one. Ari, I wanted to ask you one last
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:11.960
question, but not last in terms of being the
00:30:11.960 --> 00:30:14.640
last, but it's very important to me because I
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:17.900
want to learn that from you. When you look back,
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:22.619
which setback are you most grateful for and why?
00:30:24.220 --> 00:30:28.859
I am most grateful You mean as a businessman
00:30:28.859 --> 00:30:33.819
or in life? What category? Because there's been
00:30:33.819 --> 00:30:36.599
several setbacks in different ways. I want to
00:30:36.599 --> 00:30:40.220
make sure I answer your question. I would like
00:30:40.220 --> 00:30:44.420
to know in the perspective of your, from your
00:30:44.420 --> 00:30:47.039
personal development, but in association with
00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:49.279
your career growth. Sorry, I'm making it a bit
00:30:49.279 --> 00:30:53.650
complicated, but I think in my career. As a business
00:30:53.650 --> 00:30:56.809
person, and I talk about it in my book, I started
00:30:56.809 --> 00:30:59.930
a massive entertainment company in my 20s. And
00:30:59.930 --> 00:31:02.849
we basically did everything right. We signed
00:31:02.849 --> 00:31:05.150
the biggest act in the world, the Black Eyed
00:31:05.150 --> 00:31:08.710
Peas, for the Super Bowl in Dallas. We had Sports
00:31:08.710 --> 00:31:12.430
Illustrated sponsor it. We sold tables for $50
00:31:12.430 --> 00:31:16.599
,000, tickets for thousands of dollars. We used
00:31:16.599 --> 00:31:19.740
our minds, our bodies, our work ethic, our ingenuity,
00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:22.839
and had the biggest celebrities in the world
00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:26.460
sign up to come to our event. And then the biggest
00:31:26.460 --> 00:31:29.160
ice storm in the history of Dallas destroyed
00:31:29.160 --> 00:31:31.559
the profitability of the party. And then the
00:31:31.559 --> 00:31:35.079
following week, I had won a poker match against
00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:38.420
Hugh Hefner to rent the Playboy Mansion to throw
00:31:38.420 --> 00:31:40.799
a party at the Playboy Mansion. A longer story.
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:44.039
And then we had Snoop Dogg performing at the
00:31:44.039 --> 00:31:46.859
NBA All -Star Weekend at the Playboy Mansion.
00:31:47.160 --> 00:31:50.180
And then Legionnaire's disease broke out at the
00:31:50.180 --> 00:31:53.119
Playboy Mansion. The party got canceled. I tell
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:55.880
you, this happened within one week of each other.
00:31:56.039 --> 00:31:59.740
These two insane, out -of -the -blue things.
00:32:00.019 --> 00:32:03.660
And it taught me before I became a professional
00:32:03.660 --> 00:32:07.460
investor that I needed to focus on what could
00:32:07.460 --> 00:32:14.019
go wrong to protect my clients, to protect their
00:32:14.019 --> 00:32:17.990
interests. and manage the downside and have risk
00:32:17.990 --> 00:32:21.369
management control instead of focusing on how
00:32:21.369 --> 00:32:23.730
much money we can make, how good things could
00:32:23.730 --> 00:32:26.730
go. Because if you focus for the downside and
00:32:26.730 --> 00:32:29.490
you prepare even for the unplannable, you keep
00:32:29.490 --> 00:32:32.970
extra cash, you have all the contingencies in
00:32:32.970 --> 00:32:35.769
place, you can then increase the probability
00:32:35.769 --> 00:32:38.930
of how much money or how much success you can
00:32:38.930 --> 00:32:41.549
have. It's called a hedge. It's called risk management,
00:32:41.869 --> 00:32:45.000
downside protection, whatever term. And I'm so
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:48.339
glad that happened as a young man in my 20s.
00:32:48.339 --> 00:32:50.319
I went to sleep a millionaire and I woke up broke.
00:32:50.579 --> 00:32:52.640
I was a millionaire for about seven or eight
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:56.480
hours in my 20s. And I'm so glad that I did it
00:32:56.480 --> 00:33:00.019
then when the stakes were so low instead of doing
00:33:00.019 --> 00:33:02.519
it now with billions and billions of dollars.
00:33:03.130 --> 00:33:05.789
And when that's capital that belongs to firefighters
00:33:05.789 --> 00:33:09.069
and teachers and hardworking people that invest
00:33:09.069 --> 00:33:11.130
with us, trust us, it doesn't guarantee every
00:33:11.130 --> 00:33:13.650
deal is going to make sense, but it does guarantee
00:33:13.650 --> 00:33:17.130
that I focus on my customers and the objective
00:33:17.130 --> 00:33:21.500
and not think about my own self -interest. Thank
00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:23.819
you so much, Ari. That was so wonderful talking
00:33:23.819 --> 00:33:25.779
to you. I know you're a very busy person, but
00:33:25.779 --> 00:33:28.460
you gave some of your very valuable time this
00:33:28.460 --> 00:33:31.480
evening to talk to me and my audience and support
00:33:31.480 --> 00:33:33.980
them a little bit, understanding what actually
00:33:33.980 --> 00:33:38.279
goes into a billionaire's mindset, their journey
00:33:38.279 --> 00:33:41.799
of seeing through all of that and what actually
00:33:41.799 --> 00:33:44.720
it leads at the end, how people should actually
00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.960
think this was a valuable, valuable episode.
00:33:47.980 --> 00:33:51.059
And I'm so happy too. have you and discuss with
00:33:51.059 --> 00:33:54.039
you thank you very much for having me buddy dear
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:55.759
listeners thank you so much for listening to
00:33:55.759 --> 00:33:58.599
this episode i hope you have a wonderful day
00:33:58.599 --> 00:34:02.299
but again i would really encourage you to go
00:34:02.299 --> 00:34:06.009
and check Ari Rastegar's website. I'll give the
00:34:06.009 --> 00:34:09.409
link into the description of the podcast as well
00:34:09.409 --> 00:34:11.710
as in the YouTube video as well. If you have
00:34:11.710 --> 00:34:14.309
any questions for Ari, if you're interested in
00:34:14.309 --> 00:34:17.389
his company, please feel free to visit that as
00:34:17.389 --> 00:34:20.090
well. Have a wonderful evening. Take care. See
00:34:20.090 --> 00:34:25.929
you guys soon. Thank you, brother. Thank you
00:34:25.929 --> 00:34:28.449
for joining us on the Active Action podcast at
00:34:28.449 --> 00:34:31.710
activeaction .fm. We hope today's episode gave
00:34:31.710 --> 00:34:34.340
you some entertainment. fresh perspectives and
00:34:34.340 --> 00:34:36.980
a little extra motivation to take action in your
00:34:36.980 --> 00:34:39.760
own life don't forget to subscribe so you never
00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:42.900
miss an episode and if you enjoyed the show share
00:34:42.900 --> 00:34:45.440
it with someone who might love it too visit our
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:48.780
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00:34:48.780 --> 00:34:51.860
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00:34:51.860 --> 00:34:54.519
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