When Conferences Stop Filling Your Bucket

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Welcome back, listeners, to another episode of a Heroes Welcome podcast.
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I'm your co-host, Maria, and here with my divine bestie.
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That's me.
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It's on record.
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It's me, Liliana Vela.
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Thank you for joining us today.
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We're very I'm very playful because I'm tired but excited to be here.
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And I think because of that, we started talking, Maria, right?
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About conferences.
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Yeah.
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More than likely, when hopefully when you listen to this, you you just start thinking about conferences are brutal.
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They tend to coincide on the same cycle.
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If you are a caretaker, you have to think about can I go?
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What about kids?
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And they start school, and it's all these things that we have to manage.
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We can talk about expenses about going to conference, especially if you are in private practice.
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If you're lucky and work in an agency where they have money, we want to know where they are.
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Where are you working?
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Are they hiring?
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Yeah.
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But how expensive it is to go because you have airfare, hotel, food.
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I I met someone by the way, and we can start from here, but I met someone who came from Australia to the EMDR conference in California.
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And we were in line in Starbucks at the hotel to get our fix.
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So that we can function.
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And she turns around and says, Is that why you pay for coffee?
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Oh, yeah.
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That culture shock, by the way.
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And so I smile and I said, Well, first of all, sweetie, we're in a hotel.
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Second, this is Starbucks.
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If you sit out, you're gonna be okay.
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So this is uh a franchise.
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And two, let's breathe in together.
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T is a reasonable option.
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Yep.
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But conferences, what comes out for you, Maria, when we think about conferences and when all the major associations are competing for attendance, competing with what speakers they believe are gonna be the main attraction.
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And then sessions, what are the topics that are relevant to today's need that we have?
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And not all conferences are created equal because not everyone likes to listen to what we actually need.
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Yes, I said it.
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Yeah, so uh we've I've planned lots of events and I host my own conference.
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Uh a couple of them at this point now.
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So yeah, I think it's funny.
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Generally, our conferences end up in the spring and then the fall, right?
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Like those, and then everyone's competing, right?
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Because there's only so many weekends in the spring and in the fall.
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Yeah.
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I remember my first ever professional conference experience was while I was in grad school.
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Yeah, and it was because it happened to be really close to where I went to grad school.
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And so, like our supervisors helped pave the way so that we could go and attend.
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And I remember it being like, oh my gosh, look at all these people who think and have like the same passions that I have.
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Like it was really nice to be in a room with individuals who I felt like got it, right?
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Like we were speaking the same language, we had like similar education backgrounds and like similar passions.
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And unfortunately, I feel like it's it's not the same.
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And yes, I'm older and I've been to many conferences in my lifetime at this point.
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Um, but not all conferences are created equal.
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And that's and that's you know, organization to organization, but even within the same organization, going to the same conference, then sometimes there's very large differences that I don't know.
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I I find myself more often going, was this worth the time and money and travel?
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And you know, we've talked openly about our dynamic disabilities, and that is a huge factor of like this has to be worth the pain, the the travel, the the cost.
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Because yeah, everything is expensive.
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Everything is expensive.
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And I, you know, I know we're not alone and thinking like this has to be worth the effort and the cost that's gonna go into this.
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And conferences used to be my way of like filling my buckets, yeah, right.
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Getting around people, sharing ideas, getting new ideas, getting really excited about things, even walking like the vendor floor, right?
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People were just so excited to be there and wanting to share what they had that might be helpful.
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And I don't know.
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I mean, I have a I have a date in my mind where that shifted for me, but it's been, you know, more than five years at this point where conferences just have not felt the same.
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They have not filled my bucket in the same way.
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And I think part of it is, you know, yes, who are they catering to?
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What are the topics?
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Who are the speakers?
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You know, when I when I attend a training, I want, you know, a nugget of something new.
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You know, and we've talked personally, but there have been conferences we've attended where it's like that was the same presentation that they gave last year.
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There's no new information in that.
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Yeah, and that that can get really frustrating.
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Yeah, well, especially for the amount of money that we pay.
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Look, so for all of you who are listening, start thinking, you attend conferences with a goal in mind.
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Is it to network?
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And if it is amazing, then you have that kind of developer network.
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That is not Liliana's goal.
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In case you did not pick that up, that is not her goal.
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No.
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And then you have to start paying attention to the CEs.
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Is this for my licensure?
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It's an MFT, LPC, LSW, psychology, psychology, like whatever it is, or is it to maintain a model?
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Credentials.
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Right?
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So for the credential, uh, and how many do I need to renew my my credential or licensure?
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And then we go into sessions and yes, associations go through a process, or they tell us that they go through a process of selecting topics.
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I I think the reality is because AI is changing the field so much.
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So now we're talking about who are the experts or so-called experts in the field, and we're noticing a shift, or I'm noticing a shift, and you and I were discussing that.
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And how do we honor legacy, content, innovation?
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What is it that is relevant now that we have to start modifying versus what we learn in grad school or what we learned 20 years ago, 30 years ago, that it may not be relevant today.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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I think, you know, I think our education basis is legacy work, right?
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Here are the foundations.
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These are the theories, these are the original models, right?
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The OGs, if you will.
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And for me, conferences were like, and this is how it's relevant today.
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This is how we've updated it today.
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And that seems to not be as prevalent as it used to be.
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I feel like a lot of the conferences I've been attending lately are it's I mean, it's grad school reminiscent, right?
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It's like, well, this is the historic reason we do it this way.
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And you and I, you know, we've been very open that we're out-of-the-box thinkers and that we're system thinkers in the way that like great that that's been the system, but why?
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It doesn't need to stay that same way.
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And that I think is where we are getting that friction from some of the conferences is like this is not as relevant today to the people who are practicing today.
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Yeah.
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So for all of you who are out there and if you are involved in this process, the idea is how are we listening?
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How are we getting feedback from therapists to keep them engaged?
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They're the ones spending the money so the conferences can be successful.
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Those are the ones who are going to be talking about your conference and letting others know if it's worth investment or not.
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Yeah.
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And then how do we balance?
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Look, Maria and I have always talked about we want new clinicians and citizen clinicians to know the foundation of models to be able to help, but it doesn't mean that things stay stagnant, like that there's no movement.
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So, how would you apply it to different settings?
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How would you apply it to the need that we have right now, since we're talking about how anxiety and depression are so prominent in our society because of social media and the isolation that our clients are coming in?
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Or in my case, when I go into that's great, tell me about migrants, tell me about culture, culture not from stereotypes, but culture from people actually becoming global entities.
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Tell me what are the modifications that we make, depending on the setting.
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Like you and I get to talk about, oh, in agency, oh, in private practice, oh, in school settings, like we tend to adjust right away, but also we hang out a lot and we have this conversation quite often.
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But we go to conferences thinking it cannot be just one way.
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And I think that is the myth of some presenters and some organizers.
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And even like you and I, we we go to conferences a lot that we're like, those are even the same slides from last year.
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Come on, dude.
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Like just change at least the founder of color, like do something.
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Yes, yeah.
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I think for beyond the rinse and repeat, right?
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Like that that doesn't cut it anymore.
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I think we and again, we have more access to global information that you know we we do desire more and better and different.
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And if that's that's not what you're looking for and you're going for a different reason, fantastic.
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I hope that you find it.
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But for many of us, you know, these conferences are a big commitment financially, but time-wise.
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If you're in private practice, that's you know, client hours that you're putting on hold.
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I want to get as much out of it that I can, right?
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I want if those CEs can double dip.
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I want, I want CEs that are gonna double dip, right?
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And like I love being infused with other people's energy and excitement for what we're doing and what's going on.
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That always helps fill my bucket.
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But yeah, I think I think too, we have so many offerings now.
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There's so many different ways to get your CEs, so many conference offerings.
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I think I've also hosting my own, I get really picky because I've worked behind the scenes now that some things I'm like, it's not that hard.
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It's not that hard to do it this way, or you know, and you know, we have a running joke in our own office is like, well, that I'm that's not mine.
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That's not my circus.
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That's not, those are not my monkeys.
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And I and no, I cannot just do all the conferences.
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I can't.
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I don't want to.
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I don't want to.
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I like the ones I'm doing, but I it's also, you know, we talked earlier too, not necessarily recorded, but like they're the level that you and I hold ourselves to professionally, and we we extend that to when we are attending other conferences, we attend other speakers, we even just trainings, we are very quick to be like, is this at my level or not?
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You know, we went to we went to a leadership symposium together and both walked away kind of feeling of like that it kind of missed the mark for us.
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And we also sat with some lovely people who like this was definitely filling their bucket.
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Yes, definitely filling their bucket.
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And I think that's another difference, is where you are professionally in your career.
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Yeah, what do you what do you need?
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And is that conference giving you what you need, or are you just checking boxes?
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Yeah.
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Oh, I love that you brought that up because I was thinking of that.
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Of now you and I, because we're so seasoned, that's what I said it.
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We go into is this description for someone who's just starting, someone who's in the middle, or someone who has been here for a while?
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Like, what is the method they're using?
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And and sometimes, right, we'll go to something that is for beginners, like, let's go get a refresher, let's let's go see.
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So they're all needed, but we need a description of who is the intended target here.
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Because then we go into like some sessions and we're like, this is outdated.
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Even like to present it as someone who's just starting.
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Let me go and clarify that.
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And and at some point we're like, wait a minute, I'm not even getting paid to clarify this.
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I'm just gonna be quiet.
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Yeah, some of it can be too general.
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And then we've also experienced the other one where it was like it's too niche.
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Like that doesn't apply to me, my practice, and my community.
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Uh, and I don't know how to use that information in a way that would apply to my practice, my community.
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Right.
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So I I think too, like we we honor that there's a a balance that's needed.
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All things are needed.
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Uh, we're just a little bit more picky.
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Yes.
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But but I'll but I'll bring this point without naming the conference because then you won't know, and I don't want to hear any complaints.
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But like I went to a conference this this past week, and like I remember the keynote was the first keynote was talking about supervision consultation.
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And and the way that I remember I I approached the keynote who was from the UK.
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A different perspective than it's still Western, but it's a different perspective than the US.
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So I had to ask him questions, which I'm like, when you have time, because I don't want to like you just came up, like thank you.
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And I have so many questions for you.
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The following day, the keynote was a lady from Australia.
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Again, still Western, but we were talking about a different perspective working with children.
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And that's why I was like, let me pay attention to you.
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Like, what do you do?
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How do you do it?
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And she was talking about assistance, which is the language that you and I talk about.
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We do.
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So I'm not saying that conferences have to bring international speakers.
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We have good speakers in the US.
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However, I just mentioned different in keynotes.
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They complemented each other, but they were so different that kept us all asking questions and wanting to know more.
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Then we go into the sessions, and I love that in this conference I picked part one, part two in sessions.
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So I was like, I want you to see how you build it up.
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And they did not disappoint.
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They pick a topic and then they walk you through.
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And if you follow me on social media, I follow up with a brief description of what I took from each from each uh session.
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Because that's what I do now.
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Like, hey, this is a good one.
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This is why you need to pay attention to this.
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And and I ask questions.
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And I do that with with everyone that I go to, but I'm sharing this because I think you and I, Maria, because we're so citizen, also we're presenters, we don't like recycling information.
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What I appreciate about these two presenter keynotes too is that they use AI for graphics.
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Oh, interesting.
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And one of the gentlemen talked about how he had Chat GBT and cloud competing to say we don't came out with a better graphic.
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Started laughing actually because it was so inappropriate, but I was like, oh, I never thought about it.
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So instead of shaming people for using AI, they were talking about no, this is how you can use AI because we're adult learners and we learn differently.
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And some use graphics, some like the way that they were talking about it, it was a can we be creative on how to use it?
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AI is here to stay, it's not going anywhere.
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So instead of shaming for utilizing it as a tool, can we discuss what kind of how we can use it as tools?
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And and these are some of the things.
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And I was like, thank you.
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Is anyone else paying attention to this or am I the only one?
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Yeah, what a relevant topic for a copper conference.
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Yeah.
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Instead of shying away from because it is a very divisive conversation right now, right?
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And it isn't, you know, you you can have your own opinion.
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It's not black and white.
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We in my community were fighting a data center that they're trying to put up, and we don't we don't like the way that is being done, and we don't want it in our community.
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And absolutely, like your Google Chrome search now is AI powered, right?
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Like we can be conscientious consumers and be ethical, and we can't shy away from these conversations, even knowing that we're going to make half of the room upset.
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Yes.
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And by the way, same conference, we had a session where someone was took the AI and ethics in our field.
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So also an amazing way, which is like, what is it that we need to be aware of therapists?
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What is it that we need to be aware of supervisors?
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What is it that we need to share with our clients?
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Such a beautiful, very thoughtful way of presenting.
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Yeah.
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So these are so this is a conference that I was like, how do I take care of myself?
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Because I cannot attend every single session.
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I'm not new to the field where I thought I have to attend everything.
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You know who you are.
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We've been all there once.
00:19:09.180 --> 00:19:13.820
And also very mindful of what are the sessions that I'm gonna go to.
00:19:14.060 --> 00:19:18.140
And then if it's even later, like what are the questions that they're lingering?
00:19:18.460 --> 00:19:20.460
What are the questions for for later?
00:19:20.779 --> 00:19:22.380
Like it's all these things that come up.
00:19:22.540 --> 00:19:24.700
And that is the field that you and I are talking about.
00:19:24.860 --> 00:19:30.860
Because then I take notes and then I go into this is where it's gonna be the link, and this is what is needed now.
00:19:31.180 --> 00:19:32.460
And and we need that.
00:19:32.620 --> 00:19:40.460
So all of you who are listening start thinking that only what are the sessions that you're attending because that's the population that you work with?
00:19:41.420 --> 00:19:47.740
What are the sessions that you're attending because you want to grow as a therapist and not get stuck?
00:19:48.060 --> 00:19:48.460
Yes.
00:19:48.940 --> 00:19:55.660
What are the sessions that you're attending because you need those dancey E's to renew whatever you need to renew?
00:19:56.540 --> 00:20:05.259
And then what are the conferences that you're attending because you have welcome grow environment versus that shaming and you don't belong environment?
00:20:05.500 --> 00:20:05.820
Yeah.
00:20:05.980 --> 00:20:06.540
Oh yeah.
00:20:06.620 --> 00:20:18.060
I mean, if we had another hour, we could talk about kind of the lead-ism that we have felt and seen at conference spaces, and we know we're not alone in those experiences.
00:20:18.380 --> 00:20:21.340
And yeah, it does, it sets the tone.
00:20:21.580 --> 00:20:27.740
You know, in in our field, we in my very humble opinion, we should be doing better.
00:20:27.980 --> 00:20:33.820
We should be the the front runner for making welcoming environments for learners, not the opposite.
00:20:33.980 --> 00:20:37.980
So, yeah, I want to hear who what are your favorite conferences?
00:20:38.140 --> 00:20:39.500
Well, who what are you attending?
00:20:39.660 --> 00:20:40.700
Who are you listening to?
00:20:40.860 --> 00:20:44.620
Who are you learning from that you've really, really enjoyed lately?
00:20:44.940 --> 00:20:50.940
Because I'm constantly felt like like rifling through my like these are the people I've really enjoyed and I've learned from.
00:20:51.100 --> 00:20:58.460
These are the people who really challenge me, and I don't always agree with them, but I learned something and I'm questioning my own growth around this.
00:20:58.620 --> 00:20:58.779
Yeah.
00:20:59.019 --> 00:21:08.540
And I have, you know, and I mean, we all have some of our own standard favorites who are like, this person just lights me up from the inside, and I just want to go spend an hour and a half doing it.
00:21:09.259 --> 00:21:15.180
Yeah, I want to hear like what has your conference experiences been like in the last five, six years?
00:21:15.740 --> 00:21:19.180
Which ones have you found to be worth it and why?
00:21:19.740 --> 00:21:21.900
Uh, and like how do you make that decision?
00:21:21.980 --> 00:21:24.060
Because it is, you know, none of them are cheap.
00:21:24.220 --> 00:21:25.340
None of them are cheap.
00:21:25.580 --> 00:21:31.259
And if you're a part of the board that you get to go for free, you're still working, there's still a cost to that.
00:21:31.500 --> 00:21:34.300
So, yeah, I want to hear where are you going?
00:21:34.540 --> 00:21:36.300
Where are you getting your buckets filled up?
00:21:36.460 --> 00:21:39.980
Because I would like to have that experience again.
00:21:40.940 --> 00:21:46.300
So please comment in our social media, send us uh feedback.
00:21:46.460 --> 00:21:48.140
What are the conferences you're attending?
00:21:48.220 --> 00:21:52.060
What are the trainers that you are impressed by?
00:21:52.620 --> 00:21:59.259
And what are places that you're going that we have not heard because there's so many conferences now for everything.
00:21:59.820 --> 00:22:04.140
So let us know so that we can all grow on community.
00:22:04.220 --> 00:22:15.740
You don't have to wait to be next to me and Starbucks in a line to share this or with Maria, but like share with us so that we can all look at them and then learn together.
00:22:15.980 --> 00:22:17.019
Yeah, because we are.
00:22:17.100 --> 00:22:23.500
I mean, if you know nothing about us, you must know that we are avid learners, lifelong learners, Liliana and I.
00:22:23.740 --> 00:22:27.980
And so, yeah, we want to know where are you going that you're getting your bucket filled up?
00:22:28.140 --> 00:22:32.140
What makes it worth it in your like how do you make that decision?
00:22:32.380 --> 00:22:35.740
And then who knows, maybe you'll see us there next time.
00:22:36.940 --> 00:22:37.980
Until next time.
00:22:38.300 --> 00:22:39.660
Till then, guys.