WEBVTT
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Welcome to a Curious Mind podcast.
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This week I want to talk about courage.
00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:13.519
Courage can take many forms and it can be expressed and shown in many ways.
00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:28.480
And only over the last couple of years have I been able to appreciate my courageous side.
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:59.359
I think that through pop culture and just you know, films and songs, and through growing up around people, you you have this idea that courage is almost like I guess putting yourself in a place of harm in order to protect others, like that's a very courageous thing to do, and I think that that is a very courageous thing to do.
00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:25.760
I think that you know, like in um in the form of fighting, you know, for your country or protecting your family, like and wanting to or not, the ways that at least the media and pop culture portrays courageous people, it's usually in the form of a man and a very masculine, you know, like strong built man, right?
00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:44.000
And so I think that in very micro, in very small micro doses throughout my life, I have uh always felt as though courage just doesn't really belong to me.
00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:46.239
I'm not a very courageous person.
00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:56.000
Um I wouldn't call myself a courageous person, but I believe that we all have courage within us.
00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:08.240
There is a quote that I referenced not too long ago, which is courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:29.439
And I think that that is like if you were to stop and think of the amount of times that you have felt fear and you have still done the thing that brings you fear, you would probably realize that you're a very courageous person, also.
00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:49.680
Um now people kind of like I've been I've been told many a time, like you know, uh, oh you were you were really courageous when you traveled around Brazil, or you were really courageous when you took that step and you made that change in your life.
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:52.479
Uh like that takes courage, you know.
00:02:52.879 --> 00:03:03.759
And I agree, I think that those big things required courage because I absolutely did feel fear and I did the thing anyway.
00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:16.879
Uh, but I would argue that courage for me comes up in times that probably seem very insignificant but are actually really big.
00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:30.479
Um, a time that I have been most courageous is when I have expressed my feelings to somebody um because that's when I feel most fearful.
00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:45.599
I am so terrified at expressing how I feel, especially when it's a negative thing to someone that I, you know, care about and I am worried of I'm worried about upsetting their feelings.
00:03:45.759 --> 00:04:01.199
When I have been able to find the words and bring them together in a way that is eloquent, that is kind, but is also direct and is truthful, that has taken a lot of courage, and I have not always been able to do that in my life.
00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:12.800
Uh, whereas, yes, getting a plane to the other side of the world and traveling around on my own required, you know, levels of courage and levels of bravery.
00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:34.079
Um but I think that being who I am and kind of being quite an adventure seeker and just being the person that I am probably didn't require the same amount of courage that actually having a really difficult conversation with somebody requires.
00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:45.439
Um and so I think that courage is misunderstood.
00:04:45.839 --> 00:05:11.920
I think that expressing your feelings, crying in front of people that you don't know, um being upset, admitting defeat, uh showing vulnerability, you know, saying to somebody I don't know if I can do that, or I'm I'm scared about doing that.
00:05:12.079 --> 00:06:19.680
Like expressing fear takes courage because I think that instinctually we have this real we have a strong desire to protect ourselves like out of survival instincts, and I think that when you're able to say to somebody, like, I don't think I've got this, I don't know if I've got this, that takes so much, like that takes so much strength and bravery for you to be able to express that because I think that being able to express and admit to your failures and your faults and your incapacit like the the maybe the things that you're not capable of doing that is scary because you put yourself in a more vulnerable position than where you were before if you were if than where you would be if you were to keep your mouth closed.
00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:32.319
You're you're kind of putting yourself at a disadvantage, but you're also owning the fact that you're in that place, you're owning the truth.
00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:41.839
The truth is that I'm scared right now, the truth is that I'm hurting right now, the truth is that I don't know if I've got it in me to do this.
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:54.079
And if you're able to express that, if you're able to admit that to yourself and admit that to other people, I think that that is already a very courageous thing.
00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:57.199
But I also think that it's courageous to ask for help.
00:06:57.439 --> 00:07:00.399
I also think it's courageous to accept help.
00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:22.399
I think that you know, being able to admit that you're in a place where you need to lean on people is not only courageous, but it's kind to yourself and to those around you.
00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:30.480
Uh I think that what I'm doing at the moment is courageous.
00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:49.120
I am so fearful of I'm fearful of just like looking like a fool or saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood by somebody or by several people or upsetting someone's feelings by what I'm saying.
00:07:49.439 --> 00:08:03.439
Because the intention is not at all to cause negative feelings within somebody, but ultimately, like if you join all of the minutes that I'm speaking on this podcast, that's a lot of minutes of me speaking.
00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:08.000
I'm going to say something that upsets someone's feelings, it's inevitable.
00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:21.040
Um, I might even upset my future feelings, you know, looking back at some of these episodes, and that instills fear in me because I don't want that, that's not the intention of what I'm doing.
00:08:21.439 --> 00:09:29.120
But I'm I have to also come to terms with the fact that although I feel this fear of something that is really, really difficult for me to control and mitigate, I also am going to do it because I believe that having this on the internet for my future self, my younger self, maybe my daughter or my son or my grandchildren, um like having this is something that I am proud of and I am grateful at myself for doing, and therefore I want to make sure that I do it, even though sometimes the fear and the embarrassment and the shame can get overwhelming, and uh I would rather just sort of hide and not, you know, and not do this.
00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:43.360
So courage takes many forms, and I think that the most stereotypical forms of courage are probably the rarest forms of courage.
00:09:43.440 --> 00:10:31.120
I think that looking at yourself, identifying maybe a habit that you know is really, really not doing you good, and admitting to yourself that you're hurting yourself and you're harming yourself, and choosing to not do that thing anymore, and being fearful of what your life will look like if you don't do that thing anymore is courageous because you don't know how you're going to cope without that thing, whether that be cigarettes, you know, alcohol, a friend, a relationship, a job.
00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:40.559
I guess being able to admit to the truth, living as honestly as possible.
00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:48.879
We are extremely, extremely intuitive people.
00:10:50.720 --> 00:11:02.320
Um, and we know a lot of the answers to these really, really big questions in our minds a lot earlier than we actually give ourselves credit for.
00:11:02.799 --> 00:11:15.919
Um, an example of this is uh I'm watching the series Couples Therapy at the moment, and the therapist, Dr.
00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:52.240
Orna, she is really uh she's got this like power question that she uses a lot of the time, which is like when she's witnessing the couple in front of her fighting over, you know, something that's going on in their lives, whether that be looking after the pets or politics or the way that's one person is treating the other in the relationship, and you know, just like the fight itself, and she gets them to stop and put themselves in each other's shoes and just ex and like identify what is meaningful to that person in that moment.
00:11:52.399 --> 00:12:35.519
So, like when they're fighting over the pets, okay, but what is actually the the the problem, you know, what is your partner hurting about at the moment, you know, and then the person is like the other person is I able to identify the things, it's usually like, oh, this person is really upset because they feel as though they're doing all the work and I'm not you know contributing to this part of the family, and therefore they feel neglected and they feel as though their time is not being, you know, like respected, or if it's a political thing, it's like oh that person feels fear because you know these things are happening in the world at the moment, and these things are contributing to that, and therefore they're scared and they're not able to sleep at night, you know.
00:12:35.679 --> 00:13:06.720
And it's unbelievable how like two seconds ago you were on the defense, like you were both defending your your side, and you were so um you were so uh dismissive of each other's views, but the minute she's she stops them and she asks them to just embody that other person's feelings and look at it from their perspective, it completely shatters this like hard-shelled perspective from one another.
00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:15.200
I think that we are both very, very, very clever and very, very, very silly.
00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:23.200
Um, you know, we think that we know it all and we haven't actually got a clue.
00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:32.720
And I think that it's courageous to admit, like, I'm feeling like this currently, I feel like this is what's going on currently.
00:13:32.879 --> 00:13:43.840
My instincts are telling me this, but being open to being proven wrong because we are constantly being proven wrong in so many areas of our lives, you know.
00:13:44.480 --> 00:14:03.200
And I think it just takes so much strength to let your hands off, you know, let go of the wheel sometimes and just allow whatever is happening to sort of manifest in the way it's supposed to manifest.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:11.519
I think it's super important to realize that you are courageous.
00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:26.720
If you feel the fear in whichever way that looks, in whatever way that looks like for you, and you still do it because you you know that it'll be good for you, then you're courageous.
00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:30.159
And you're capable.
00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:47.679
And think of the number of times things have happened in your life where you've had no other choice but to carry on or make it work, whether that be grief, heartbreak, um losing a job, losing your home, you know.
00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:56.000
And you've you're here, you're still here, you're still breathing, you're still present, you're still living.
00:14:57.440 --> 00:14:58.799
That takes courage.
00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:03.600
That takes courage because you're fearful, but you do it anyway.
00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:19.039
My little brother likes to say, I'm I don't know where I don't know where the come the the quote came from, but he likes to say, you have survived a hundred percent of your worst days.
00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:25.039
And it's the truth.
00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:28.399
Like, if you think that oh god, like I'm not sure if I've got it in me.
00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:30.399
And this is me speaking to myself, you know.
00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:31.919
Like, do I have it in me?
00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:35.039
I have survived some really, really tough, tough days.
00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:38.320
I'm here, I'm smiling, I'm breathing, I'm living.
00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:40.480
So I've got it in me.
00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:42.799
I've got it in me.
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:47.440
I just need to be reminded of it sometimes, and that's okay.
00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:51.440
So here.
00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:53.759
Cheers to being courageous.
00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:57.600
Um, thank you for listening to this episode.
00:15:57.679 --> 00:16:01.840
I hope you enjoyed it, and I will see you again next week.
00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:03.600
Welcome to a Curious Mind podcast.
00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:07.440
This week I want to talk about courage.
00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:13.519
Courage can take many forms and it can be expressed and shown in many ways.
00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:28.480
And only over the last couple of years have I been able to appreciate my courageous side.
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:59.359
I think that through pop culture and just you know, films and songs, and through growing up around people, you you have this idea that courage is almost like I guess putting yourself in a place of harm in order to protect others, like that's a very courageous thing to do, and I think that that is a very courageous thing to do.
00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:25.760
I think that you know, like in um in the form of fighting, you know, for your country or protecting your family, like and wanting to or not, the ways that at least the media and pop culture portrays courageous people, it's usually in the form of a man and a very masculine, you know, like strong built man, right?
00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:44.000
And so I think that in very micro, in very small micro doses throughout my life, I have uh always felt as though courage just doesn't really belong to me.
00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:46.239
I'm not a very courageous person.
00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:56.000
Um I wouldn't call myself a courageous person, but I believe that we all have courage within us.
00:01:56.719 --> 00:02:08.240
There is a quote that I referenced not too long ago, which is courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:29.439
And I think that that is like if you were to stop and think of the amount of times that you have felt fear and you have still done the thing that brings you fear, you would probably realize that you're a very courageous person, also.
00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:49.680
Um now people kind of like I've been I've been told many a time, like you know, uh, oh you were you were really courageous when you traveled around Brazil, or you were really courageous when you took that step and you made that change in your life.
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:52.479
Uh like that takes courage, you know.
00:02:52.879 --> 00:03:03.759
And I agree, I think that those big things required courage because I absolutely did feel fear and I did the thing anyway.
00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:16.879
Uh, but I would argue that courage for me comes up in times that probably seem very insignificant but are actually really big.
00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:30.479
Um, a time that I have been most courageous is when I have expressed my feelings to somebody um because that's when I feel most fearful.
00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:45.599
I am so terrified at expressing how I feel, especially when it's a negative thing to someone that I, you know, care about and I am worried of I'm worried about upsetting their feelings.
00:03:45.759 --> 00:04:01.199
When I have been able to find the words and bring them together in a way that is eloquent, that is kind, but is also direct and is truthful, that has taken a lot of courage, and I have not always been able to do that in my life.
00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:12.800
Uh, whereas, yes, getting a plane to the other side of the world and traveling around on my own required, you know, levels of courage and levels of bravery.
00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:34.079
Um but I think that being who I am and kind of being quite an adventure seeker and just being the person that I am probably didn't require the same amount of courage that actually having a really difficult conversation with somebody requires.
00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:45.439
Um and so I think that courage is misunderstood.
00:04:45.839 --> 00:05:11.920
I think that expressing your feelings, crying in front of people that you don't know, um being upset, admitting defeat, uh showing vulnerability, you know, saying to somebody I don't know if I can do that, or I'm I'm scared about doing that.
00:05:12.079 --> 00:06:19.680
Like expressing fear takes courage because I think that instinctually we have this real we have a strong desire to protect ourselves like out of survival instincts, and I think that when you're able to say to somebody, like, I don't think I've got this, I don't know if I've got this, that takes so much, like that takes so much strength and bravery for you to be able to express that because I think that being able to express and admit to your failures and your faults and your incapacit like the the maybe the things that you're not capable of doing that is scary because you put yourself in a more vulnerable position than where you were before if you were if than where you would be if you were to keep your mouth closed.
00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:32.319
You're you're kind of putting yourself at a disadvantage, but you're also owning the fact that you're in that place, you're owning the truth.
00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:41.839
The truth is that I'm scared right now, the truth is that I'm hurting right now, the truth is that I don't know if I've got it in me to do this.
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:54.079
And if you're able to express that, if you're able to admit that to yourself and admit that to other people, I think that that is already a very courageous thing.
00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:57.199
But I also think that it's courageous to ask for help.
00:06:57.439 --> 00:07:00.399
I also think it's courageous to accept help.
00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:22.399
I think that you know, being able to admit that you're in a place where you need to lean on people is not only courageous, but it's kind to yourself and to those around you.
00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:30.480
Uh I think that what I'm doing at the moment is courageous.
00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:49.120
I am so fearful of I'm fearful of just like looking like a fool or saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood by somebody or by several people or upsetting someone's feelings by what I'm saying.
00:07:49.439 --> 00:08:03.439
Because the intention is not at all to cause negative feelings within somebody, but ultimately, like if you join all of the minutes that I'm speaking on this podcast, that's a lot of minutes of me speaking.
00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:08.000
I'm going to say something that upsets someone's feelings, it's inevitable.
00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:21.040
Um, I might even upset my future feelings, you know, looking back at some of these episodes, and that instills fear in me because I don't want that, that's not the intention of what I'm doing.
00:08:21.439 --> 00:09:29.120
But I'm I have to also come to terms with the fact that although I feel this fear of something that is really, really difficult for me to control and mitigate, I also am going to do it because I believe that having this on the internet for my future self, my younger self, maybe my daughter or my son or my grandchildren, um like having this is something that I am proud of and I am grateful at myself for doing, and therefore I want to make sure that I do it, even though sometimes the fear and the embarrassment and the shame can get overwhelming, and uh I would rather just sort of hide and not, you know, and not do this.
00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:43.360
So courage takes many forms, and I think that the most stereotypical forms of courage are probably the rarest forms of courage.
00:09:43.440 --> 00:10:31.120
I think that looking at yourself, identifying maybe a habit that you know is really, really not doing you good, and admitting to yourself that you're hurting yourself and you're harming yourself, and choosing to not do that thing anymore, and being fearful of what your life will look like if you don't do that thing anymore is courageous because you don't know how you're going to cope without that thing, whether that be cigarettes, you know, alcohol, a friend, a relationship, a job.
00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:40.559
I guess being able to admit to the truth, living as honestly as possible.
00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:48.879
We are extremely, extremely intuitive people.
00:10:50.720 --> 00:11:02.320
Um, and we know a lot of the answers to these really, really big questions in our minds a lot earlier than we actually give ourselves credit for.
00:11:02.799 --> 00:11:15.919
Um, an example of this is uh I'm watching the series Couples Therapy at the moment, and the therapist, Dr.
00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:52.240
Orna, she is really uh she's got this like power question that she uses a lot of the time, which is like when she's witnessing the couple in front of her fighting over, you know, something that's going on in their lives, whether that be looking after the pets or politics or the way that's one person is treating the other in the relationship, and you know, just like the fight itself, and she gets them to stop and put themselves in each other's shoes and just ex and like identify what is meaningful to that person in that moment.
00:11:52.399 --> 00:12:35.519
So, like when they're fighting over the pets, okay, but what is actually the the the problem, you know, what is your partner hurting about at the moment, you know, and then the person is like the other person is I able to identify the things, it's usually like, oh, this person is really upset because they feel as though they're doing all the work and I'm not you know contributing to this part of the family, and therefore they feel neglected and they feel as though their time is not being, you know, like respected, or if it's a political thing, it's like oh that person feels fear because you know these things are happening in the world at the moment, and these things are contributing to that, and therefore they're scared and they're not able to sleep at night, you know.
00:12:35.679 --> 00:13:06.720
And it's unbelievable how like two seconds ago you were on the defense, like you were both defending your your side, and you were so um you were so uh dismissive of each other's views, but the minute she's she stops them and she asks them to just embody that other person's feelings and look at it from their perspective, it completely shatters this like hard-shelled perspective from one another.
00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:15.200
I think that we are both very, very, very clever and very, very, very silly.
00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:23.200
Um, you know, we think that we know it all and we haven't actually got a clue.
00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:32.720
And I think that it's courageous to admit, like, I'm feeling like this currently, I feel like this is what's going on currently.
00:13:32.879 --> 00:13:43.840
My instincts are telling me this, but being open to being proven wrong because we are constantly being proven wrong in so many areas of our lives, you know.
00:13:44.480 --> 00:14:03.200
And I think it just takes so much strength to let your hands off, you know, let go of the wheel sometimes and just allow whatever is happening to sort of manifest in the way it's supposed to manifest.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:11.519
I think it's super important to realize that you are courageous.
00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:26.720
If you feel the fear in whichever way that looks, in whatever way that looks like for you, and you still do it because you you know that it'll be good for you, then you're courageous.
00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:30.159
And you're capable.
00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:47.679
And think of the number of times things have happened in your life where you've had no other choice but to carry on or make it work, whether that be grief, heartbreak, um losing a job, losing your home, you know.
00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:56.000
And you've you're here, you're still here, you're still breathing, you're still present, you're still living.
00:14:57.440 --> 00:14:58.799
That takes courage.
00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:03.600
That takes courage because you're fearful, but you do it anyway.
00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:19.039
My little brother likes to say, I'm I don't know where I don't know where the come the the quote came from, but he likes to say, you have survived a hundred percent of your worst days.
00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:25.039
And it's the truth.
00:15:25.200 --> 00:15:28.399
Like, if you think that oh god, like I'm not sure if I've got it in me.
00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:30.399
And this is me speaking to myself, you know.
00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:31.919
Like, do I have it in me?
00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:35.039
I have survived some really, really tough, tough days.
00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:38.320
I'm here, I'm smiling, I'm breathing, I'm living.
00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:40.480
So I've got it in me.
00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:42.799
I've got it in me.
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:47.440
I just need to be reminded of it sometimes, and that's okay.
00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:51.440
So here.
00:15:51.759 --> 00:15:53.759
Cheers to being courageous.
00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:57.600
Um, thank you for listening to this episode.
00:15:57.679 --> 00:16:01.840
I hope you enjoyed it, and I will see you again next week.
