Alison Wright, World-Traveling Photographer

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From ABC, this is the 10% Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris.
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A harrowing but ultimately uplifting story on the podcast this week.
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Really an incredible story from a woman named Allison Wright,
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and you'll hear it soon. First, though, your voicemails. So
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here's my usual caveat. I'm not a meditation teacher. I'm
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not a mental health expert. I'm just a reporter. rank-and-file meditator,
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and I haven't heard these questions in advance, so I
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just do my best to answer them based on whatever
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pops into my head. So here we go.
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Hi, Dan. This is Linda. I'm calling because the news
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of the last few days about these children being detained
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in camps has me so desperately sad, and I'm finding
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that I want to find some kind of refuge in
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my meditation practice but I'm also finding that I'm almost
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avoiding meditating because then I have to sit down and
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let all these pictures and sounds of the children crying
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really sink in and I want to feel them I
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want to be there so that I'm not avoiding them
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but I just wonder about how you or other people
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are dealing with what's happening right now in our country
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and how it affects your meditation practice. Thanks so much
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for all you do. I'm really asking you because this
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podcast and the app have really created a virtual meditation
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community for me, and so it means a lot to
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hear from you and to feel like I'm part of something.
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So thanks so much for everything.
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Thank you, Linda. It means a lot to me to
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hear you say those kind words at the end there.
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I appreciate it. So before I answer this, let me
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be clear. Job number one for me is I'm a journalist. Well,
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job number one is I'm a daddy and husband. But
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professionally speaking, job number one is I'm a journalist. So
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I really don't take sides here in the epic– political
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battles we're living through in the country right now. Um,
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but that being said, if, if what's happening in the
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news is bothering you, uh, deeply troubling you either because
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you're worried about what the president is doing or because
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you're worried that you've believed the president's being unfairly attacked. Um,
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I do think meditation can be useful. I don't think
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it's a panacea, but I do think it can be useful. Um,
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I understand you, Linda, when you say, A, you're looking
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for a refuge, some sort of, you know, I don't
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know if you meant this specifically, but some sort of
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bubble bath, some sort of escape. And B, that you
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are worried about meditating because it may turn out to
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be the opposite, which is you might have to come
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face to face with all of the sadness or anger
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or whatever it is you're feeling. But I would argue
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that you should kind of swat away both those issues.
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One is I don't think it's going to be some
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sort of magical escape, nor do I think it should be,
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because that's not the purpose in my view and in
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my experience. And on the other hand, I would also
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say that that while those fears are warranted, it may
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actually turn out to be tough to meditate while you're
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experiencing difficult emotions. I would argue that it's better to
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experience them head on, face first, rather than let them
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lurk in the shadows of your psyche and control you blindly.
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So to me, the only real choice, while I understand
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your qualms, well, I think the only real choice once
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you consider it is to go for it in meditation
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because you have– you know, what is the benefit of this?
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It's not that it's going to be a bubble bath.
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It may be a rough ride. The benefit is that
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once you face things fully, once you see things clearly, uh,
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you are less yanked around by these difficult emotions. And, uh,
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you know, I say this all the time. I think
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we all need to hear it millions and millions of
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times because that that's the point or one of the
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points of meditating, um, in, in my view and in
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my experience. Um, So I would say definitely meditate. Don't
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shy away from it, even though I think it's natural
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to want to shy away from it. But also don't
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have realistic expectations about what it can do. And I
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think so anybody who's struggling in this current political environment,
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I think that's many, if not most of us. I
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think meditation is a great way to see clearly. Whatever's
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turning within you so that you aren't so yanked around
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by it. And that I think will make you a
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more successful human being, by which I don't mean like
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professionally successful. I mean, just less miserable, happier, more highly
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functioning human being. But I also think. you know, in
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terms of your own inner weather. But I also think
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it'll make you a better citizen in that you're less
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likely to spew needless vitriol on social media or just
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to spend too much time on social media at all
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and maybe to be able to have sane, reasonable discussions
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with people with whom you disagree. So, yeah. And one
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last thing, let me just give a, I don't know
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if I want to call this a plug, but Because
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it's not a plug per se, but it's just a
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heads up. There's a group I went out and did
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a story on recently. The story has not aired, but
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I spent some time with a group called Better Angels.
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And they are doing very interesting work. Very small group
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at this point, but they basically create these get togethers
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for reds and blues. Uh, and, um, it was, the
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program was designed by a marriage counselor, um, who's a
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really smart and interesting person. And, um, the, just to
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back up for a second, the whole organization is 50, 50,
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you know, right down to the board of directors. It's
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half red, half blue, the founders, one red, one blue.
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And this guy, uh, who designed, uh, the programming again,
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as a, as a marriage therapist and his And I
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think there's something to this is that we have a
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rocky marriage in America right now and that some of
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the precepts of marriage counseling can be useful in creating
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healthy dialogue between the two sides. And I was really
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I was really impressed by what I saw in spending
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time with I went to the National Convention of Better
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Angels and had people who are participating in these groups
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that get together all over the country. And they brought
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them all together in Virginia and, you know, lots of
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reds and lots of blues. And I was just listening
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to their conversations and watching the way in which they
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structure the conversations is very, very interesting. And so I
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would say to people who are looking for a constructive
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way to deal with our current tumult, that this is
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one thing to look at. This group, go to their
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website and see if they're having meetings near you. And
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that's the final thing I'll say here, and this is
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a bit of advice I've stolen from Sharon Salzberg, the
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great meditation teacher, which is that better than– and I
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think meditation helps get you to what I'm about to
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say or what I'm about to steal from her– is
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that once you kind of work through your own feelings
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and you're looking for a constructive outlet, volunteering is something
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to look at. Get involved politically on a local level
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or get involved– Even if it's not politically, volunteer at
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a hospice, volunteer at the ASPCA, do something constructive, find
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a constructive outlet. I think that is better than just
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screaming at people in all caps on Twitter. OK, I
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said a lot there. Hopefully some of it made sense.
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Let's go to the second call.
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Hi, Dan.
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This is Christine in Humboldt County, California. And I was
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just calling with a question about loving-kindness meditation because I'm
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finding that sometimes it can be a little tough to
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actually feel the compassionate feelings behind some of the phrases
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or the good wishes that you're sending out to people,
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even people you're close with. So sometimes I can feel
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a little disconnected or disingenuous. So I just wondered if
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you had any thoughts on that or experience with it.
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So I'd love to hear it. I love the podcast.
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Thank you so much.
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Thank you. I do have thoughts. You should know in
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advance that these are thoughts that I'm basically stealing from
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other people, most notably the aforementioned Sharon Salzberg, who is
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probably the premier proponent of loving kindness meditation in the
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United States. So I struggle with this mightily, and the
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good news is you don't have to struggle. So just
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for anybody who doesn't know what loving-kindness meditation is, I'll
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just briefly describe it. It's going to sound horrible, and
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that's fine because it kind of is sort of annoying
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at the beginning and can continue to be annoying. But nonetheless,
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there is evidence that it works. Loving-kindness meditation is you
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envision– a series of people you start with yourself classically
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and then you go to a mentor benefactor and then
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you go to a dear friend and then you go
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to a neutral person somebody you see but often overlook
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that it difficult person, sometimes referred to as the enemy,
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and then you culminate with all beings. You systematically envision
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these people or beings. It can be like your dear
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friend could be your cat or dog or ostrich or whatever,
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and you send them, you silently repeat in your head
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a series of phrases that Usually they are. May you
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be happy. May you be safe. May you be healthy.
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May you live with ease. And so, yes, super sappy.
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And I really thought it sounded terrible when I was
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first exposed to this. However, there's a lot of evidence
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that a that this practice can have real health benefits
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and that it shows up on the brain scans as well.
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And be some evidence, although it's early stages, that it
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can impact behavior. So the good news, and this is
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where we get to the actual answer to your actual question,
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is that you don't need to feel a certain way.
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The goal is not to be suffused with feelings of
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loving kindness, even for people who you really feel it for.
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The goal is just to do the exercise, to envision
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them in your mind and to send these phrases. And
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what you are building is the muscle. That practice builds
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the muscle of compassion. Or loving kindness, friendliness might be
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another way to say loving kindness, which can seem a
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little ooey gooey. And this goes back to something I
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talk about all the time, which is another thing that
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you cannot hear enough, which is that these things we
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want in ourselves, compassion, calm, patience, mindfulness, happiness, whatever, these
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are all skills. And so, and as it turns out
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that these are skills that are susceptible to training. And
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so that's what we're doing in this practice. You don't
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need to force yourself to feel a certain way. That's impossible.
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What you do is just over and over make the
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attempt to care, to send these friendly vibes toward these
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people that you're meditating on. And the theory is, and again,
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in my experience, It has an effect. And you may
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not– and Sharon's advice is don't look for how you're
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feeling in the practice as the measure, as the yardstick
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of whether you're quote-unquote doing it right. Look for how
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you show up in the world. As Sharon says, you're
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not meditating to be a better meditator. You're meditating to
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become a better human. So take that guilt that you're
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feeling about not being– experiencing a rush of love and
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kindness every time you do this practice and discard the
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guilt and just keep doing the practice. Thank you. Two
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great questions this week. All right, let's get to our guest.
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Her name is Alison Wright. She nearly died in a
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truly horrific bus crash in a remote jungle road in Laos.
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I should have said this first. She is a really accomplished,
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very talented photojournalist. Her work's been all over the place,
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National Geographic, Smithsonian, Time, Forbes, The New York Times, all
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over the place. She's been all over the world and
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done incredible work. And on one of her trips overseas,
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she was in Laos and she got into this horrific
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bus accident and died. She wrote a book about it
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called Learning to Breathe, One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival.
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And as you might imagine, meditation played a role in
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what is an incredible recovery. So here she is, Alison Wright.
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I hear you're interested in meditation.
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I am interested in meditation. I work as a photographer
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and I was based in Nepal for many years. And
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while I was there, I got Very interested in, yeah,
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mostly I would say in Vipassana meditation, which is sort
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of this insight meditation.
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Yeah, I describe it as old school Buddhist meditation. It's
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kind of the earliest form of Buddhist meditation, which is,
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as far as I understand, the predominant. I guess that
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in Tibetan meditation would be the predominant forms in Nepal.
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Yeah, that's why I'm sort of clarifying that, because a
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lot of people, you know, my work is really known
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for being in Tibet. I've done books on Tibet, on
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the Dalai Lama, and this is sort of a different,
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just a different practice than Tibetan Buddhism.
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What would you say is the difference?
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Well, it's not so much what I'd say, but what
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they would say is that, you know, there's this, it's
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a little complicated, but there's Vajrayana, Mahayana. And so they,
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the people who practice Tibetan Buddhism believe it to be
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sort of a higher, more evolved, um, practice. And it's,
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it's sort of more, um, for me personally, it's more
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visually oriented in that, you know, there's tankas, these beautiful paintings,
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there's Buddha statues. And, and I love all of that.
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I have those sort of decorations throughout my whole, um,
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apartment here. But for me personally, what I glean from
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meditation is really just going within. It's not, there's nothing
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external for me. I can be anywhere. And that's sort
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of what my practice is. And that's what, you know,
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when you go to Thailand, when you go to Cambodia, Laos,
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that's more the practice that, you know, the monks and
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the people that that meditate and practice Buddhism are doing
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that kind of, um, that kind of Buddhism.
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Yeah.
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I mean, it's, it's, uh, I'm going to, I'm going
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to say this and I, I may be, people may
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tweet me because I'm being technically or historically or factually inaccurate, but, uh,
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basically I think of Vipassana or insight meditation, which is
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Theravadan meditation, which is sort of the earliest form of,
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of Buddhism as pretty simple. And in some cases a
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little austere, you know, just, basically watching your breath. And
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then when you get distracted, you start again. As Buddhism
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evolved into what you said, Mahayana and Vajrayana, it got
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more elaborate, especially with Vajrayana Tibetan practices where they have
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these esoteric practices. Some of them are secret and can
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involve elaborate visualizations and ceremonies and rituals and things like that.
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And for a lot of people, it's incredibly meaningful and powerful.
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I think there's a significant amount of evidence to suggest it's,
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it's got real potency, but it's never been something that
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I've been personally drawn to yet. Uh, but anyway, it's
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helpful that for you to sort of set the terms
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of the discussion. So you started getting interested in, in
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insight meditation when you were in Nepal. What, why and when?
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Well, it's interesting for me, I was actually very drawn
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to this idea, um, really when I was younger, like
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all through high school, and I didn't even know there
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was a word for it, you know, like I was
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reading books about Buddhism, and I was just sort of
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really interested in this idea. For one thing, for some reason,
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I've always been very obsessed with Tibet. So I worked,
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you know, I was working as a photographer, I was
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on a newspaper, and I got an assignment in Nepal,
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and I went for what was supposed to be this
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three-week assignment And once I got there, I just fell
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in love with the place.
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In Nepal.
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In Nepal.
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Not yet Tibet.
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Not yet Tibet. But the UN, I was working for UNICEF,
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shooting for them, and they created this assignment for me.
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And I ended up not leaving for more than four years.
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Wow.
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I felt like I'd come home. Like, I just fell
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in love with this country.
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Where were you from originally?
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California.
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And somehow— San Francisco.
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And I moved to New York about six, seven years ago.
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And what was it about Nepal— that made you feel
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like you had come home? I don't know.
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I think we're just drawn to certain places for certain reasons,
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which is very interesting because I love the ocean. I
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was a surfer, but I got to Nepal and there's
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obviously no ocean there, but it's mountainous. But I fell
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in love with the people. I fell in love with
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the work I was doing because I was photographing for
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the convention for the rights of the child. And my
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work as a photographer, as a documentary photographer, is photographing
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indigenous cultures and people and the human condition. I do
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a lot of post-disaster conflict work. And this was incredibly
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interesting to me because my job was to photograph children
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all over Nepal, their rights to health, water, ritual, just
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being kids. And so I did a lot of work
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with child labor. So I loved the work I was doing.
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And then It was just a great expat community. It
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was a great place to live at the time. But
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what was very interesting is that I realized that there
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were 120,000 Tibetan refugees living there. So there was actually
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more of the culture of Tibet living outside of Tibet
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than in it. And so on my own time, my
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own dime, I went all over India from the top
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to the bottom and all through Nepal photographing all 57
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Tibetan settlements. Just because I was really interested in the
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culture and what was left of it. Because since March 10th, 1959,
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when the Chinese came in and the Dalai Lama left
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when he was 24 years old, these people have been
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living in exile. But my fascination was, how does a
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culture survive without a country? So I was doing hundreds
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of interviews, thousands of photos, just because this was just
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so interesting that these people were surviving like this. And
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then I started going into Tibet. And it was funny
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because I've been doing all this work and And the
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Dalai Lama actually contacted me and he asked.
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That's interesting. Like via email, did you get an email
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from the Dalai Lama? How did that happen? Did he
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text you?
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No.
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DM you on Twitter?
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I hate to say how long ago this was, but
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we didn't even have Twitter. We didn't even have cell
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phones back then. It was, you know, it was actually
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through mutual friends that somebody said, oh, the Dalai Lama
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heard this work that you're doing. This is before he
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even won the Nobel Peace Prize. So people didn't even
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really know who he was. Of course, I did. And
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I was like, oh, how great. Maybe I'll go get
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a blessing from him or something. So I go to
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India to Dharamsala to meet him. And I ended up
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having the whole day with him. He gave me a
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Tibetan name. He was just so incredible. And he was
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so genuinely interested in what I'd seen because he was
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really concerned about what was happening with this new generation,
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these young tibetans that were being born in exile with
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they didn't even know tibet because that was you know
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now it's getting to that point so we ended up
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developing this really great relationship just i was there for
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six weeks and i got to really know him so
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anytime i'd see him i go to india he's like
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hey i'm gonna go consecrate a buddha statue jump in
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the car let's go and so we developed this really
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lovely relationship and um I sent a picture to my
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parents saying, look, I met the Dalai Lama. And again,
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nobody really knew who he was back then. And all
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my parents knew was that I'd gone for this three
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week assignment in Nepal. I didn't come back for years.
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Then I sent a picture of me with this guy
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who was shaved head, mala beads and monk robes. And
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my mom says, oh, my God, Frank, she joined a cult.
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Go over there and get her. So my dad came
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over with my brother to do an intervention. And it's
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a true story. And I'm like, no, Tibet is a culture,
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not a cult. But I ended up bringing him, my brother,
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my dad to Tibet and.
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Into Tibet itself.
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Into Tibet itself. And so I wanted them to see, like,
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this has become such a big part of my life now,
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you know? And so anyway, it was funny because my
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dad totally got into it, turned my brother's room into
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the Tibet room and bought every little trinket he could find. But,
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you know, the interesting thing is that he... Now, I mean,
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of course, is so ubiquitous.
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He's in Apple commercials.
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Oh, my gosh. He's everywhere. So, yeah, it's very interesting
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to see. I think it was a really smart move
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that he went into exile and he's able to do
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more for his country. But now I've gone, oh, my gosh, years.
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I've been going into Tibet for 25 years now, you know,
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like really, really getting more and more remote. I spent...
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after those years, because I was living with these people,
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I ended up getting like malaria, typhoid, hepatitis, like every
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disease imaginable. So I had to spend four months in
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the Troubled Disease Hospital in London. And they said, you
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can't go back to Asia for at least a year.
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So I didn't want to waste time. And I didn't
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want to come back here without health insurance. So I
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went to Berkeley, UC Berkeley, to grad school to do
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my master's degree in visual anthropology, studying culture through photography
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and film. I put all this Tibet work together. We
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opened a wing of the museum there with this. And
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then that became my first book, The Spirit of Tibet.
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This was a long time ago. But and then the
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next book I did was actually on the Dalai Lama
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called A Simple Monk. And that was 15 years of
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traveling with them and our friendship. And, you know, now
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I've done stories for National Geographic and New York Times.
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And on sort of different aspects of the demise of
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the Tibetan nomad and where, you know, where's this culture going?
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So it's something that's been really close to my heart
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to follow and see what's happening with the culture. So
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that was my fascination with it. So then on a
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personal nature, I got, just by the nature of living
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in Asia, you know, this idea of meditating became much
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stronger for me. And I started doing retreats, like, because
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the things that I was seeing, and I'm sure you've
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experienced this too, but, you know, as a journalist, you
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see a lot of human suffering and you start to question.
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And how do you deal with that coming back and forth? And,
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you know, it's just challenging. And so that helped me
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feel more balanced in a way that a kind of
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It's not like I was looking to be happier. I
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was just looking to be balanced. And what's really key
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for me is looking to be aware. Like, I want
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to be so here and so present and so aware.
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Otherwise, you miss the shot.
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Yeah.
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And that was like, it just zoned me in. And
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so I started to do these retreats that were three
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weeks at a time.
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00:25:12.269 --> 00:25:14.650
Let me stop you for one second. I'm sorry.
427
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No, no, no.
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No need to apologize. You're doing great. I'm just curious.
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Why did you— you were immersed in the Tibetan culture and
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getting the word out about this culture and peril and exile,
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and yet when it came time to choose a meditation style,
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you said, I'm not going to do Tibetan.
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I'm going to do this other thing.
434
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Why? Why?
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That's a great question. You know, it's sort of like
436
00:25:41.470 --> 00:25:44.890
you could also ask, I was raised Catholic, you know,
437
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I mean, it's like the verbiage didn't resonate with me.
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I can remember sitting endlessly in church and Sunday school.
439
00:25:53.569 --> 00:25:57.170
My brother completely embraced it. I just sat there and
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00:25:57.210 --> 00:25:59.420
I still do. I mean, maybe we should put that
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in because I'm going to offend people. But it just
442
00:26:02.660 --> 00:26:05.900
it just personally didn't resonate with me. But when I
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do these retreats and I've studied with many of the
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00:26:08.779 --> 00:26:12.720
teachers that you list in your book, you know, they. God,
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00:26:12.759 --> 00:26:16.079
I just walked away feeling like there were nuggets that
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no matter how many times I hear them, it just
447
00:26:19.059 --> 00:26:20.380
really resonates with me.
448
00:26:21.259 --> 00:26:23.000
And you're talking about now of insight.
449
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Exactly. Exactly.
450
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And so when you said you were doing these long
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retreats three weeks, where and with who?
452
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I was mostly doing them in India on this Thai retreat.
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There's a place called Bodh Gaya where Buddha was enlightened.
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And there's a Thai temple there. And I just had.
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00:26:41.660 --> 00:26:44.019
We should just say, so Bodh Gaya is this ancient
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city in India. The Buddha is said to have been
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enlightened there. And so you have representatives of all the
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various Buddhist traditions that set up camps. So you have
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00:26:53.730 --> 00:26:59.440
like a Burmese... and a Thai place, and they're all
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kind of there flying the flag. So you went there
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and sat with some Thai Theravadan folks?
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Yes. And I've had different teachers that, I mean, there's
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one particular teacher that, you know, was doing these three-week
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retreats every year in December. And so, you know, just
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through friends, I just heard about this, and it just...
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It was funny. It just really worked for me because
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I do such intense work in such intense places that
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it's like I don't vacation. You know, it's like that
469
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isn't what grounds me. And I found that this is
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what truly grounded me. But it was funny because at
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one point there was, I don't know, a few kids.
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maybe a thousand Tibetan llamas had come out to meditate
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under that Bodhi tree. So I actually snuck out of
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the retreat to go photograph it. So the teacher saw
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00:28:02.890 --> 00:28:06.190
me there and he goes, Alison, what are you doing? And,
476
00:28:06.309 --> 00:28:09.059
you know, I was trying to still adhere to the silence,
477
00:28:09.170 --> 00:28:13.539
but he's like, you know, you can't be out photographing.
478
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:16.299
He's like, what are you willing to give up? And
479
00:28:16.920 --> 00:28:19.359
he took my cameras every year then, and he would
480
00:28:19.400 --> 00:28:21.980
lock them in a box and I was not allowed,
481
00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:24.670
you know, and it was, It was so interesting because
482
00:28:24.829 --> 00:28:26.970
at first I was really like, wow, I'm not going
483
00:28:26.990 --> 00:28:30.730
to give up my job in photography. But he taught
484
00:28:30.779 --> 00:28:33.299
me such a great lesson because what he did is
485
00:28:33.390 --> 00:28:35.859
he was trying to get me to realize I needed
486
00:28:35.880 --> 00:28:38.599
to give up the attachment to it and I needed
487
00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:41.799
to give up that identity. And that's what helped me
488
00:28:42.119 --> 00:28:46.059
so profoundly because so much of my identity, I mean,
489
00:28:46.119 --> 00:28:48.900
I knew since I was 10 years old, I wanted
490
00:28:48.920 --> 00:28:50.619
to do this job. I had a little point and
491
00:28:50.660 --> 00:28:53.539
shoot camera. You know, my mom's a flight attendant for
492
00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:56.200
Pan Am. We traveled all over. And then when I
493
00:28:56.240 --> 00:28:58.400
was 15, I had a teacher. I was on the
494
00:28:58.420 --> 00:29:00.500
high school yearbook in the school newspaper. And he said,
495
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:02.519
you know, you could actually make a living at doing this.
496
00:29:03.059 --> 00:29:05.319
And from the first time I heard that word photojournalist,
497
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:07.160
I said, wow, that's what I want to do. That's
498
00:29:07.180 --> 00:29:09.660
what I want to be. And I never deviated. I
499
00:29:09.849 --> 00:29:12.920
went to college for it. I got my photojournalism degree
500
00:29:12.940 --> 00:29:17.690
and I lived overseas for 10 years doing this. And then,
501
00:29:17.710 --> 00:29:22.750
but It became such a part of my identity. And
502
00:29:22.789 --> 00:29:26.789
it was interesting because this proved to help me later.
503
00:29:27.990 --> 00:29:31.779
And I don't know if you want me to get.
504
00:29:31.700 --> 00:29:32.680
Into this story.
505
00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:33.819
Yes.
506
00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:35.519
This sounds like a good story.
507
00:29:35.700 --> 00:29:38.170
It's a great story. It's a great story because I'm
508
00:29:38.190 --> 00:29:38.890
here to tell it.
509
00:29:40.140 --> 00:29:42.240
Much more of our conversation right after this quick break.
510
00:29:47.190 --> 00:29:51.190
So I had, you know, now I'm back living in Asia.
511
00:29:51.230 --> 00:29:53.369
I had done a number of books. My life is
512
00:29:53.490 --> 00:29:55.210
exactly where I wanted it to be.
513
00:29:55.269 --> 00:29:57.529
When set us in time?
514
00:29:57.869 --> 00:29:58.200
The year 2000.
515
00:29:58.190 --> 00:30:03.079
And That's when life throws you a curveball. You know,
516
00:30:03.140 --> 00:30:06.380
I was working on another book and I was in
517
00:30:06.460 --> 00:30:14.279
Laos and I had just celebrated this amazing New Year celebration,
518
00:30:14.299 --> 00:30:18.380
you know, with friends. And I was out photographing the
519
00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:22.420
monks collecting alms that morning. It's a beautiful sight in
520
00:30:22.500 --> 00:30:25.500
Long Prabang in Laos. But because I was doing that,
521
00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:29.170
I missed my bus. And so I jumped on the
522
00:30:29.230 --> 00:30:34.549
next bus. And it was such a life changing experience.
523
00:30:34.750 --> 00:30:37.329
You know, I was on this very precipitous mountain road
524
00:30:37.390 --> 00:30:42.299
in Laos. And I saw this huge logging truck coming
525
00:30:42.339 --> 00:30:46.420
towards us and we swerved on this corner. And, you know,
526
00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:49.420
this is just like a daily thing. You get in
527
00:30:49.460 --> 00:30:51.660
these buses and you're always like, whoa, that was close.
528
00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:54.579
And so I was actually thinking like, wow, that was close.
529
00:30:54.980 --> 00:30:59.369
But as we turned, the logging truck like came right
530
00:30:59.410 --> 00:31:03.490
into us and hit us. And split the whole bus open.
531
00:31:03.529 --> 00:31:05.549
I was right at the point of impact and it
532
00:31:05.630 --> 00:31:09.589
slammed into me and it sandwiched me in the seats.
533
00:31:09.670 --> 00:31:14.109
I remember waking up really briefly thinking, oh my God,
534
00:31:14.190 --> 00:31:16.390
you know, am I alive? And then I, my first
535
00:31:16.430 --> 00:31:20.539
thought was to grab my film and I couldn't move.
536
00:31:21.220 --> 00:31:24.700
And I didn't even find this out until later, but
537
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:27.380
the bus had caught fire and everybody had gotten off
538
00:31:27.420 --> 00:31:31.400
the bus and two men, came and pulled me off
539
00:31:31.460 --> 00:31:34.569
the bus. And this is years later when I heard this,
540
00:31:34.609 --> 00:31:36.509
but as the man relayed this story to me, he
541
00:31:36.549 --> 00:31:40.369
was crying because he said, I've never seen anybody like that.
542
00:31:40.569 --> 00:31:41.950
Like we had to decide if you're going to keep
543
00:31:41.990 --> 00:31:44.319
your arm or not, you know, and he, they pulled
544
00:31:44.359 --> 00:31:46.950
me off. So the next thing I remember is I
545
00:31:46.990 --> 00:31:48.910
wake up on the side of the road and it
546
00:31:49.009 --> 00:31:52.829
is like a horrible scene. You know, people around me
547
00:31:52.849 --> 00:31:57.170
were killed. They had put sheets over them. People were,
548
00:31:57.309 --> 00:32:01.490
you know, just mayhem. And we're in this remote area.
549
00:32:01.529 --> 00:32:05.049
There's no health care. There's nowhere to go. And nobody
550
00:32:05.069 --> 00:32:07.990
would stop because there was guerrilla warfare. People were shooting.
551
00:32:08.430 --> 00:32:11.940
And so no one would even stop. And I knew
552
00:32:12.019 --> 00:32:14.769
I was in really bad shape. I knew my back
553
00:32:14.809 --> 00:32:17.970
was broken because I couldn't move. I couldn't walk. Um,
554
00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:22.220
and I, I could hardly breathe. And when I looked
555
00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:24.839
at my, to see what time it was, my whole
556
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:28.220
arm was like half severed off. And I, yeah. And
557
00:32:28.269 --> 00:32:31.930
I just thought, okay, don't go there. And I'm somebody
558
00:32:31.970 --> 00:32:34.170
that seriously faints at the sight of blood. Like I
559
00:32:34.190 --> 00:32:37.210
can't even give blood cause I'll pass out. So, um,
560
00:32:38.380 --> 00:32:42.990
This is a it's I really believe that without this skill,
561
00:32:43.049 --> 00:32:46.369
without this tool of being able to meditate, I would
562
00:32:46.430 --> 00:32:51.509
not have gotten through this experience because I just was
563
00:32:51.769 --> 00:32:54.950
so laser focused. It was like every minute that I've
564
00:32:54.990 --> 00:32:57.670
done on that meditation cushion all came to a head
565
00:32:57.829 --> 00:33:00.990
for this experience because I looked at that and I said,
566
00:33:01.029 --> 00:33:04.819
all right, don't go there. Don't go into shock. Do
567
00:33:04.859 --> 00:33:06.880
not pass out because you will never get out of
568
00:33:06.900 --> 00:33:09.470
this alive. because I was by myself. I mean, I
569
00:33:09.490 --> 00:33:11.589
was with a busload of injured people, but I was
570
00:33:12.250 --> 00:33:16.890
on my own. And I asked somebody to go back
571
00:33:16.950 --> 00:33:19.339
on the bus and get my film because I'm like,
572
00:33:20.140 --> 00:33:22.839
if I'm going to die, I want this, at least
573
00:33:22.859 --> 00:33:26.299
some ID on me. And if I live, I definitely
574
00:33:26.339 --> 00:33:29.339
want my photos. So it was just like so weird
575
00:33:29.380 --> 00:33:34.750
because that was my thought. And then, um, These villagers
576
00:33:34.849 --> 00:33:38.390
came out after about an hour and dragged me to
577
00:33:38.410 --> 00:33:39.940
their village.
578
00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:41.859
Which must have been excruciatingly painful.
579
00:33:41.900 --> 00:33:47.339
Oh, my God. It was unbelievable. I cannot even believe
580
00:33:47.400 --> 00:33:50.700
the pain I endured because all my ribs on my
581
00:33:50.720 --> 00:33:54.039
left side were broken. My back was broken. My pelvis
582
00:33:54.059 --> 00:33:58.789
was shattered. My spleen was ruptured. My arm was half
583
00:33:58.849 --> 00:34:01.269
severed off. I mean, I had so many broken bones.
584
00:34:02.069 --> 00:34:04.589
And I didn't even realize the extent of my internal
585
00:34:04.650 --> 00:34:09.010
injuries until later. So these villagers, like they brought me in.
586
00:34:09.050 --> 00:34:11.929
I was just like, breathe in, breathe out. Like that
587
00:34:11.949 --> 00:34:15.739
was my whole entire focus. And that's what I just
588
00:34:16.010 --> 00:34:17.920
all I just thought every breath is going to be
589
00:34:17.960 --> 00:34:21.260
my last because I had a pneumothorax. My lungs and
590
00:34:21.300 --> 00:34:24.260
my diaphragm are collapsed. So I really thought every breath
591
00:34:24.320 --> 00:34:27.639
was going to be my last. And so this kid
592
00:34:28.079 --> 00:34:31.039
came in. Brought me into a cow shed and sewed
593
00:34:31.079 --> 00:34:33.840
my arm back up with an upholstery needle and thread.
594
00:34:34.019 --> 00:34:38.019
No painkillers, no anesthesia, nothing. And I'm grabbing him by
595
00:34:38.059 --> 00:34:41.239
his shirt collar. I'm like, we're in the Golden Triangle,
596
00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:43.639
for God's sake. Give me that opium. You're all smoking
597
00:34:43.659 --> 00:34:46.570
up here, you know. And he's like, washcloth? You know,
598
00:34:46.610 --> 00:34:51.949
I'm like, oh, my God. So that was just unbelievable
599
00:34:52.010 --> 00:34:55.949
pain to endure. But then they put me in this
600
00:34:56.090 --> 00:35:00.320
room and lay me on the straw mat. again, I'm
601
00:35:00.340 --> 00:35:02.659
just trying to breathe. I can't even speak at this point.
602
00:35:03.059 --> 00:35:07.280
And I, I was so moved because the villagers started
603
00:35:07.340 --> 00:35:09.500
to come in my room and stay with me. And
604
00:35:09.539 --> 00:35:11.960
they said there's, at the time there were no phones,
605
00:35:12.019 --> 00:35:14.519
there was nowhere to go. There's no healthcare, there's nothing.
606
00:35:15.699 --> 00:35:20.280
And after 10 hours of laying there, I just knew
607
00:35:20.300 --> 00:35:22.360
that I wasn't going to get out of the situation alive.
608
00:35:22.380 --> 00:35:26.019
It wasn't a resignation. It was just, clear that there
609
00:35:26.059 --> 00:35:28.000
was there was because they're like, oh, you have to
610
00:35:28.039 --> 00:35:29.739
make it through the night. I'm like, I'm not going
611
00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:31.280
to live through the night. I know I'm not going
612
00:35:31.300 --> 00:35:33.639
to live through the night. So I wrote a note
613
00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:36.349
to my family and I told them how and where
614
00:35:36.409 --> 00:35:38.809
I died because it was really important to me to
615
00:35:38.889 --> 00:35:41.269
let them know that I didn't die alone and I
616
00:35:41.329 --> 00:35:44.989
didn't die in fear. And I really felt like this
617
00:35:45.130 --> 00:35:49.849
culmination of everything that I practiced. And, you know, these
618
00:35:49.869 --> 00:35:53.949
are It was like I was so aware of every
619
00:35:54.050 --> 00:35:59.789
single moment. And I've honestly never felt like really so alive.
620
00:36:00.710 --> 00:36:04.610
And then I let go. And it was so beautiful.
621
00:36:04.670 --> 00:36:07.070
I really believe I went to this other side. You know,
622
00:36:07.090 --> 00:36:09.960
it was just this complete freedom and letting go. And
623
00:36:10.539 --> 00:36:15.519
there was no more pain. And it just simply wasn't
624
00:36:15.559 --> 00:36:17.920
my time. This British aid worker just happened to be
625
00:36:17.980 --> 00:36:20.719
driving by. It's, you know, the middle of the night.
626
00:36:21.780 --> 00:36:25.239
And he he just found my passport and he said, Allison,
627
00:36:25.260 --> 00:36:26.900
wake up, wake up. I'm going to get you out
628
00:36:26.920 --> 00:36:30.260
of here. And I just said, there's no there's not time,
629
00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:32.420
you know, and he said, OK. And he put me
630
00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:35.480
in the back of his pickup truck, like was serrated back,
631
00:36:35.900 --> 00:36:39.679
you know, and this guy, bless his heart, drove me
632
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:41.730
eight hours in the back of this pickup truck.
633
00:36:41.750 --> 00:36:43.210
Which must have also been torture.
634
00:36:43.829 --> 00:36:46.210
Torture. I mean, we both we we didn't think I
635
00:36:46.230 --> 00:36:49.199
was going to live. But I thought, at least he's
636
00:36:49.219 --> 00:36:51.260
getting my body out of here, you know.
637
00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:53.519
To have a thought like that.
638
00:36:53.739 --> 00:36:54.199
Yeah.
639
00:36:54.219 --> 00:36:55.960
At least he's getting my body out of here.
640
00:36:56.000 --> 00:37:00.230
That's what I thought. And he called the American embassy
641
00:37:00.269 --> 00:37:01.630
and he said, you've got to meet us at the
642
00:37:01.710 --> 00:37:04.849
Laos Friendship Bridge to open this to get us to Thailand.
643
00:37:04.929 --> 00:37:07.730
He said, there's absolutely nowhere to go. There's no hospital.
644
00:37:07.750 --> 00:37:10.329
There's no health care here in Laos. And you're going
645
00:37:10.349 --> 00:37:14.070
to have a dead American on your hands. Right. you know,
646
00:37:14.110 --> 00:37:16.929
I was listening to car radio, like, okay, you know, but,
647
00:37:17.110 --> 00:37:20.079
but I really, I thought that. And I also had
648
00:37:20.119 --> 00:37:22.280
this other amazing thought, because I was looking out the
649
00:37:22.340 --> 00:37:25.230
window and And I just saw, like, there were so
650
00:37:25.269 --> 00:37:27.619
many stars. And I just thought, this is the last
651
00:37:27.659 --> 00:37:31.380
thing I'm going to see. And it's so beautiful. But
652
00:37:31.579 --> 00:37:36.360
I had an interesting experience, not to segue or anything,
653
00:37:36.440 --> 00:37:38.519
but I'll tell the end of how that all turned out.
654
00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:42.119
But there was an experience of when I was doing
655
00:37:42.139 --> 00:37:45.230
all these interviews with llamas and such. And that's the
656
00:37:45.250 --> 00:37:47.650
interesting thing. So many of these llamas are now out
657
00:37:47.690 --> 00:37:50.710
of Tibet and they're here teaching, you know, in the
658
00:37:50.769 --> 00:37:52.190
West and in India and Nepal.
659
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:55.280
Llamas are basically advanced Tibetan teachers.
660
00:37:55.449 --> 00:38:00.510
Exactly. So I was in Darjeeling and I was with
661
00:38:00.570 --> 00:38:03.630
a Tibetan friend and was pouring rain. Thanks. And I
662
00:38:04.090 --> 00:38:09.329
went to this monastery to meet this Kalu Rinpoche. He
663
00:38:09.389 --> 00:38:11.610
used to be the Dalai Lama's teacher in his last life.
664
00:38:11.630 --> 00:38:14.409
He's a very old man. And his caretaker came out
665
00:38:14.449 --> 00:38:17.840
and said, I'm really sorry. He's too ill to see you.
666
00:38:19.059 --> 00:38:21.539
And I left, you know, disappointed that I didn't get
667
00:38:21.599 --> 00:38:23.980
to meet him, photograph him, and sure enough, he died
668
00:38:24.019 --> 00:38:27.760
three months later. So this is now years later. I'm
669
00:38:27.820 --> 00:38:30.849
in Dharamsala, India, where the Dalai Lama lives. I was
670
00:38:30.909 --> 00:38:35.389
at some of his teachings, and I heard that they
671
00:38:35.409 --> 00:38:38.130
had found the reincarnation of this little Kalu Rinpoche.
672
00:38:38.150 --> 00:38:38.250
Okay.
673
00:38:39.139 --> 00:38:41.320
And I thought, oh, I got to go see this.
674
00:38:41.539 --> 00:38:44.400
So I went to his room and his mother answered
675
00:38:44.420 --> 00:38:47.219
the door. And he's just this little monk because, you know,
676
00:38:47.239 --> 00:38:50.070
he's reincarnated, but he's still a kid. So he's on
677
00:38:50.090 --> 00:38:54.150
the bed and he's playing Game Boy. And he looks
678
00:38:54.250 --> 00:38:56.590
up and he goes, and his mother said, oh, this
679
00:38:56.650 --> 00:38:59.110
photographer wants to meet you. And he looked up kind
680
00:38:59.130 --> 00:39:01.710
of annoyed because I'd interrupted his game. And he goes, oh,
681
00:39:02.409 --> 00:39:05.289
I remember you. You came to see me. It was
682
00:39:05.369 --> 00:39:09.300
pouring rain. My caretaker is making momos, these little dumplings.
683
00:39:10.179 --> 00:39:11.840
I was too ill to see you then, but I'll
684
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:16.260
see you now. And, you know, there's just been... Seriously,
685
00:39:16.280 --> 00:39:18.800
I swear. And this was just such a... Like, I
686
00:39:18.920 --> 00:39:20.760
actually was thinking of this story while I was in
687
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:25.130
the back of the truck because I felt like at
688
00:39:25.190 --> 00:39:28.789
that time when I just let go, I really honestly
689
00:39:28.869 --> 00:39:33.400
believed that... all my beliefs sort of became truths like
690
00:39:33.639 --> 00:39:37.159
there's just no verbiage to really describe this but I
691
00:39:37.380 --> 00:39:43.110
really got how connected we are and like all of
692
00:39:43.210 --> 00:39:46.739
my work all my my photography and everything is really
693
00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:50.059
looking at how are we connected as humans, you know,
694
00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:55.480
and it just, I don't know, I don't know how
695
00:39:55.500 --> 00:39:57.860
to describe it. But it just gave me this feeling
696
00:39:57.880 --> 00:40:01.000
that something lives on with all of us, not saying
697
00:40:01.059 --> 00:40:03.579
that you walk down the street, you see your loved
698
00:40:03.659 --> 00:40:07.059
one walking down, but it just I don't know. I
699
00:40:07.480 --> 00:40:09.940
just felt like really OK with the fact that I
700
00:40:09.960 --> 00:40:16.460
was going to to die. And so anyway, again, it
701
00:40:16.500 --> 00:40:19.480
wasn't my time. I get to this Thai hospital, which
702
00:40:19.539 --> 00:40:23.920
is on the border and just one doctor in this hospital.
703
00:40:24.539 --> 00:40:26.639
And he said, oh, my God, I've never seen this before,
704
00:40:26.860 --> 00:40:28.260
which is really not what you want to hear your
705
00:40:28.280 --> 00:40:30.699
doctor say. Shows me the sex ring. He said, your
706
00:40:30.780 --> 00:40:33.179
heart has been literally torn out. He goes, I don't
707
00:40:33.199 --> 00:40:36.199
know how you just survived for 17 hours. your spleen
708
00:40:36.260 --> 00:40:39.199
is ruptured. He said, people die from this. And like
709
00:40:39.239 --> 00:40:41.809
right then I flatlined and this guy just got me in,
710
00:40:42.150 --> 00:40:44.710
brought me back. So I woke up, I was three
711
00:40:44.730 --> 00:40:47.610
weeks in intensive care in this hospital in Thailand. And
712
00:40:47.650 --> 00:40:50.900
by then friends had flown in, my family had flown
713
00:40:51.039 --> 00:40:54.019
in and because they, they didn't still didn't think I
714
00:40:54.059 --> 00:40:58.869
was going to make it. And The pain at that point,
715
00:40:59.090 --> 00:41:01.679
you know, was just off the charts because.
716
00:41:01.699 --> 00:41:03.619
But didn't they have meds in the ICU?
717
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:04.340
Oh, yeah.
718
00:41:04.420 --> 00:41:06.719
Oh, I was on a morphine drip. And I mean,
719
00:41:06.860 --> 00:41:12.809
it's just there's... You know, you just... It's just when
720
00:41:12.829 --> 00:41:15.110
you're that damaged, it's really hard to get comfortable. And
721
00:41:15.150 --> 00:41:18.269
it's really interesting because each one takes a certain hierarchy.
722
00:41:18.349 --> 00:41:21.059
You know, you're like, oh, my God, a fractured pelvis.
723
00:41:21.139 --> 00:41:24.139
And then you it's not even till later you start
724
00:41:24.199 --> 00:41:27.619
feeling like, oh, yeah, that spinal fracture. And, you know,
725
00:41:27.679 --> 00:41:31.710
and then, you know, just it was tough. It was
726
00:41:31.769 --> 00:41:35.039
really tough. So here I am. was finally medevaced back
727
00:41:35.099 --> 00:41:37.840
to San Francisco, where I'm from, and was given the
728
00:41:37.880 --> 00:41:42.119
very grim prognosis that I'd probably never walk again. And,
729
00:41:43.070 --> 00:41:45.889
you know, here I was an avid scuba diver, kayaker,
730
00:41:45.909 --> 00:41:51.010
done Everest Base Camp twice, photojournalist. And I was bedridden.
731
00:41:51.030 --> 00:41:53.730
I was bedridden for months on a morphine drip staring
732
00:41:53.750 --> 00:41:58.110
at a ceiling. And I had more than 30 surgeries.
733
00:41:58.780 --> 00:42:01.079
And I remember this doctor coming in saying, you better
734
00:42:01.099 --> 00:42:02.840
think about what you want to do with your life
735
00:42:02.900 --> 00:42:05.320
now because you're never going to work as a photographer again.
736
00:42:05.360 --> 00:42:08.820
You're probably never going to walk properly again. And I said, really?
737
00:42:08.860 --> 00:42:12.090
Because I plan on climbing Mount Kilimanjaro for my birthday
738
00:42:12.119 --> 00:42:15.469
next year. I don't even know where that came from,
739
00:42:15.510 --> 00:42:18.300
because I didn't even know anything about Kilimanjaro. But I just,
740
00:42:18.840 --> 00:42:21.059
I don't know, I just got focused on that. And
741
00:42:21.119 --> 00:42:23.380
it was kind of like an FU to this guy,
742
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:28.280
you know, and he, I saw that I needed to
743
00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:31.360
become my own advocate. So I got rid of all
744
00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:35.880
these doctors that I was working with. And I got
745
00:42:35.960 --> 00:42:39.900
new physical therapists. And I came in and this, I
746
00:42:39.940 --> 00:42:42.460
can't remember, I was on crutches or wheelchair at this point,
747
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:45.280
but saying, you know, this physical therapist, tell me what
748
00:42:45.320 --> 00:42:47.610
I can do, not what I can't do. And I
749
00:42:47.639 --> 00:42:50.750
got off these crazy drugs, these, you know, that they
750
00:42:50.949 --> 00:42:56.690
put you on. And I just brought my, you know,
751
00:42:56.789 --> 00:43:01.150
alternative healing into it. You know, cranial sacrum, acupuncture, meditation
752
00:43:01.190 --> 00:43:04.429
was huge. Like, as much as I was dealing with
753
00:43:04.449 --> 00:43:08.150
the pain, at least it reminded me that I was alive.
754
00:43:09.110 --> 00:43:12.739
And I rode with that. And You know, it was
755
00:43:12.780 --> 00:43:17.920
really amazing because they had me on, you know, morphine, Percocet, Vicodin,
756
00:43:18.159 --> 00:43:20.760
and I just, I knew that I had to get
757
00:43:20.820 --> 00:43:23.909
strength of mind for strength of body. And it was
758
00:43:24.030 --> 00:43:28.969
just really worked for me. You know, it was really
759
00:43:29.050 --> 00:43:32.329
hard and really challenging, but I worked so hard. If
760
00:43:32.389 --> 00:43:34.510
I wasn't crying at the end of physical therapy, I
761
00:43:34.550 --> 00:43:35.710
wasn't working hard enough.
762
00:43:37.010 --> 00:43:41.099
So you dropped the meds. Started to feel the pain
763
00:43:41.119 --> 00:43:44.519
and just went for it in physical therapy. So, yeah.
764
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:48.389
So when I couldn't photograph, I wrote about this experience
765
00:43:48.530 --> 00:43:50.909
and I wrote this, you know, the article for Outside
766
00:43:50.949 --> 00:43:56.750
Magazine that really took off. And it just kind of
767
00:43:56.829 --> 00:43:59.780
went on. all over. It's like their most read article
768
00:43:59.820 --> 00:44:04.480
at the time. And so it took me a year
769
00:44:04.519 --> 00:44:07.519
and a half and 30 surgeries, but I finally got
770
00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:10.360
back out kayaking again. I went to Glacier Bay.
771
00:44:10.440 --> 00:44:11.599
Were you walking by this point?
772
00:44:12.920 --> 00:44:16.940
Kind of, but I was like, I was all about like,
773
00:44:17.300 --> 00:44:19.139
what can I use? At least I could get my
774
00:44:19.239 --> 00:44:22.480
upper body strength going. Like I would work, like the
775
00:44:22.519 --> 00:44:25.000
hard thing for this is I kept having a surgery,
776
00:44:25.039 --> 00:44:27.239
then I'd get sort of better from that, then I'd
777
00:44:27.280 --> 00:44:29.460
have another surgery and I'd have to like, you know,
778
00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:30.699
it wasn't like all at once.
779
00:44:30.860 --> 00:44:34.699
Did you skip the pain meds after surgery? Or would
780
00:44:34.719 --> 00:44:35.840
you wean yourself quickly?
781
00:44:36.599 --> 00:44:39.420
For me, it was quickly, but I believe it depends
782
00:44:39.460 --> 00:44:42.010
because once I had another surgery, then if I needed it,
783
00:44:42.119 --> 00:44:48.079
I really believe in Western medicine along with what I
784
00:44:48.119 --> 00:44:51.110
was doing and, and I had had a lot of
785
00:44:51.170 --> 00:44:56.889
experience with Tibetan medicine, you know, where they feel your pulse.
786
00:44:56.989 --> 00:44:59.449
And I had had, I'd had a whole slew of
787
00:44:59.510 --> 00:45:04.050
illnesses before, you know, malaria, hepatitis, typhoid, dengue fever. Um,
788
00:45:05.110 --> 00:45:09.219
and you know, it was again, kind of more prep work,
789
00:45:09.420 --> 00:45:12.760
I think for getting through this, you know, but, um,
790
00:45:13.900 --> 00:45:16.739
so I'd had some experience with that, but then, um,
791
00:45:17.880 --> 00:45:21.960
It was just, it was amazing because two years after
792
00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:25.019
the accident, I got to the top of Kilimanjaro, which
793
00:45:25.059 --> 00:45:28.840
was really huge. You know, it was really walking and
794
00:45:28.889 --> 00:45:30.030
carrying camera equipment.
795
00:45:31.570 --> 00:45:35.309
How did that happen? Just through PT or physical therapy?
796
00:45:35.409 --> 00:45:39.269
And what was the main, because the doctor told you
797
00:45:39.289 --> 00:45:40.590
you weren't going to be able to do this. So
798
00:45:40.670 --> 00:45:41.630
what happened?
799
00:45:41.969 --> 00:45:44.570
And I don't understand that. I feel like there's something
800
00:45:44.610 --> 00:45:47.210
in our medical community. care that maybe they want to
801
00:45:47.289 --> 00:45:50.489
cover themselves or, you know, they don't get a lot
802
00:45:50.510 --> 00:45:54.469
of hope. And I found people within the system that
803
00:45:54.510 --> 00:45:58.670
had to believe in me, you know, that really. How'd
804
00:45:58.719 --> 00:45:59.030
you do that?
805
00:45:59.090 --> 00:46:00.070
Just by shopping around?
806
00:46:00.780 --> 00:46:01.099
Yeah.
807
00:46:01.380 --> 00:46:01.500
And.
808
00:46:03.139 --> 00:46:05.840
It's interesting because I didn't have a lot of experience.
809
00:46:05.900 --> 00:46:07.880
I had never broken a bone before. You know, I
810
00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:10.119
didn't have a lot of experience with this, but I
811
00:46:10.139 --> 00:46:14.099
was also in an HMO in California that I think
812
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:16.639
people feel like once you're given this doctor, you're wedded
813
00:46:16.659 --> 00:46:20.300
to them. And I'm like, no, you know, even if
814
00:46:20.320 --> 00:46:22.500
you're in the same hospital, even if you're next door,
815
00:46:22.519 --> 00:46:25.449
I want somebody that has a different mindset. I had
816
00:46:25.469 --> 00:46:27.809
a very, you know, I had some very negative people
817
00:46:27.849 --> 00:46:31.920
working with me. And then I found incredibly positive people. That,
818
00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:34.940
you know, when I came in, even my physical therapist said, wow,
819
00:46:34.980 --> 00:46:36.760
it's people like you that make me want to be
820
00:46:36.780 --> 00:46:40.969
a physical therapist because, you know, I'm like, let's do this.
821
00:46:41.219 --> 00:46:43.409
Work me harder. You know, let's tell me what I
822
00:46:43.449 --> 00:46:46.030
can do, not what I can't do. And it was
823
00:46:46.070 --> 00:46:48.110
just it was awesome. I would get back to kayak.
824
00:46:48.130 --> 00:46:51.929
I remember the first time I went skiing again. But
825
00:46:51.989 --> 00:46:55.989
what was interesting with Kilimanjaro is that I felt like
826
00:46:56.030 --> 00:46:59.110
I'd had my that to me proved I had my
827
00:46:59.190 --> 00:47:03.460
strength back. But I still didn't have my mind back.
828
00:47:03.860 --> 00:47:07.079
And I still had this sort of post-traumatic stress about
829
00:47:08.099 --> 00:47:11.239
being on a bus. And also a lot of people
830
00:47:11.280 --> 00:47:15.489
had responded to this article and the writing I was doing,
831
00:47:15.530 --> 00:47:18.210
like telling me these horrible stories that happened to them,
832
00:47:18.789 --> 00:47:21.869
which really hurt my heart because it sort of made
833
00:47:21.889 --> 00:47:24.210
me like afraid to go back out there in a way.
834
00:47:24.409 --> 00:47:27.570
And so And again, that was, you know, I was
835
00:47:27.610 --> 00:47:31.679
really dependent on, you know, meditating in my practice. And
836
00:47:32.590 --> 00:47:35.019
it was so interesting to work through pain and what
837
00:47:35.039 --> 00:47:37.420
were the colors of pain and how was it.
838
00:47:37.420 --> 00:47:38.719
What do you mean by that, colors of pain?
839
00:47:39.300 --> 00:47:41.579
You know, I would meditate like when the pain is
840
00:47:41.780 --> 00:47:44.400
so bad, it's really interesting. You know, it was like
841
00:47:44.500 --> 00:47:48.159
trying to work into the center of it and trying to...
842
00:47:48.619 --> 00:47:52.340
This idea of extricating it from your body or looking at,
843
00:47:52.750 --> 00:47:56.119
you know, there's certain... viewpoints of like you look at
844
00:47:56.139 --> 00:47:58.489
the colors of what it is and um.
845
00:48:00.469 --> 00:48:03.090
It doesn't feel so personal anymore yeah.
846
00:48:02.670 --> 00:48:08.329
You become less attached it was just a very interesting
847
00:48:08.809 --> 00:48:11.110
it was interesting so then what i needed to do
848
00:48:12.230 --> 00:48:14.570
was to kind of get my mind back and so.
849
00:48:14.309 --> 00:48:17.190
Sounds like you had your mind with all this meditation.
850
00:48:17.719 --> 00:48:20.019
Well what i needed to do and this was really
851
00:48:20.039 --> 00:48:24.800
interesting for me is to um And it's not for everybody,
852
00:48:24.969 --> 00:48:26.860
but I needed to get back on that bus.
853
00:48:28.699 --> 00:48:32.639
Well, in cognitive behavioral therapy, they would call this exposure therapy.
854
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:34.599
So you got to go back.
855
00:48:35.619 --> 00:48:37.519
And I knew that's what I needed to do because
856
00:48:37.679 --> 00:48:40.780
I kept reliving this whole negative experience over and over
857
00:48:40.820 --> 00:48:45.980
and over through dreams and nightmares. And so I went back.
858
00:48:46.840 --> 00:48:50.519
What was really cool is I had this assignment in Thailand.
859
00:48:50.539 --> 00:48:54.519
It was kayaking in southern Thailand. So it brought me back.
860
00:48:54.659 --> 00:48:57.699
And I went back to visit the doctor that had
861
00:48:57.820 --> 00:49:00.420
saved my life because when I had this herniated heart
862
00:49:00.440 --> 00:49:02.480
and I flatlined, this guy just went in and he
863
00:49:02.519 --> 00:49:05.510
like held my heart in his hand, like actually brought
864
00:49:05.550 --> 00:49:08.630
me back. And so I got to this hospital to
865
00:49:08.690 --> 00:49:12.530
thank him. And it was a very emotional, oh my gosh,
866
00:49:12.610 --> 00:49:15.230
like to thank him and to be there. And he
867
00:49:15.269 --> 00:49:17.909
looked at me and he goes, you're so short. He said,
868
00:49:17.929 --> 00:49:19.789
I had no idea you were so small because I'd
869
00:49:19.829 --> 00:49:23.639
been like bedridden. And here I was like walking. And
870
00:49:23.739 --> 00:49:26.510
so we laughed about that. But my next stop was
871
00:49:26.550 --> 00:49:28.590
to go up. Oh, my God. And this guy was
872
00:49:28.650 --> 00:49:32.190
so cool. Like when I was in Thailand, like the
873
00:49:32.250 --> 00:49:34.849
initial after the accident and I couldn't walk and I
874
00:49:34.869 --> 00:49:38.159
was bedridden. He said, is there anything you want to
875
00:49:38.199 --> 00:49:40.960
do before you're medevaced out of here? Because I don't
876
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:42.889
think that you're ever going to come back. He knew much.
877
00:49:42.949 --> 00:49:44.670
I loved Asia, you know, and he said, I don't
878
00:49:44.690 --> 00:49:48.650
think you're going to come back here. And and that
879
00:49:48.690 --> 00:49:50.929
was heartbreaking. But I was so out of it, you know,
880
00:49:50.969 --> 00:49:53.389
but I said, I really want to go to a monastery.
881
00:49:53.510 --> 00:49:57.260
I really wanted to just, I don't know, give thanks.
882
00:49:57.340 --> 00:50:00.800
I was filled with such immense gratitude. It was really interesting,
883
00:50:00.840 --> 00:50:02.820
was hard for me to break out of this. And
884
00:50:02.840 --> 00:50:05.179
it wasn't just the drugs. It was really like this.
885
00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:08.739
Once you've had like dipped your toe into feeling your
886
00:50:08.760 --> 00:50:12.889
own mortality to that extent, it was so intense. Like
887
00:50:15.050 --> 00:50:19.530
all of this seems so peripheral and seems so trite,
888
00:50:19.730 --> 00:50:22.780
you know, when you've had such an incredibly profound experience.
889
00:50:22.860 --> 00:50:26.559
And so he was so amazing. He arranged for this
890
00:50:27.119 --> 00:50:31.199
ambulance and these guys carried me into a monastery in
891
00:50:32.139 --> 00:50:35.940
Thailand and Can you believe that? These doctors wouldn't even
892
00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:37.980
send an ambulance to pick me up at the hospital
893
00:50:38.099 --> 00:50:40.780
at the airport when I was medevaced back. You know,
894
00:50:40.940 --> 00:50:44.440
so the health care and the attentiveness to what they
895
00:50:44.500 --> 00:50:48.039
pay attention to in a place like Asia was really
896
00:50:48.099 --> 00:50:53.050
interesting to me. And and that's where I feel like
897
00:50:53.409 --> 00:50:54.730
I just wish we had more of that in our
898
00:50:54.769 --> 00:50:55.550
medical system.
899
00:50:56.510 --> 00:50:56.929
So.
900
00:50:57.369 --> 00:51:02.409
And you went back and got on the bus and lost.
901
00:51:03.099 --> 00:51:05.820
Oh, yeah. So I go back to the village and
902
00:51:05.860 --> 00:51:09.170
I'm standing there like feeling very emotional, like because there's
903
00:51:09.210 --> 00:51:11.630
nothing there. It's just sort of like this cow shed, whatever.
904
00:51:11.690 --> 00:51:13.670
And the villagers are all looking at me like, what's
905
00:51:13.690 --> 00:51:16.110
her problem? And so I show them the picture of,
906
00:51:16.570 --> 00:51:18.630
you know, my arm with like hundreds of stitches in
907
00:51:19.349 --> 00:51:20.929
and they all like their face lit up and then
908
00:51:20.969 --> 00:51:23.869
they realized who I was and they all started weeping.
909
00:51:24.030 --> 00:51:26.789
Like all the villagers started coming out and they couldn't
910
00:51:26.809 --> 00:51:29.230
believe I was alive. They couldn't believe I was walking.
911
00:51:29.929 --> 00:51:31.909
And then they pushed this guy in front and he
912
00:51:31.949 --> 00:51:34.829
was the kid who sewed my arm back on. And
913
00:51:34.869 --> 00:51:38.329
it was so emotional. You know, I was like, oh,
914
00:51:38.349 --> 00:51:40.400
you know, like, thank you so much. And we're crying.
915
00:51:41.159 --> 00:51:43.039
And I said, I'm going to do something for you.
916
00:51:43.119 --> 00:51:47.940
And so I had been asked by different agents here
917
00:51:47.980 --> 00:51:51.179
in New York to they had they read my story
918
00:51:51.219 --> 00:51:55.710
because when I climbed Kili, people had read the outside
919
00:51:55.769 --> 00:51:58.409
article that And so it was really cool because people
920
00:51:58.449 --> 00:52:00.469
were there cheering me on like, oh, I read your story,
921
00:52:00.510 --> 00:52:02.409
I read your story, even though I was doing this alone.
922
00:52:03.190 --> 00:52:06.340
And that was really heartening. And then the editor was
923
00:52:06.389 --> 00:52:08.159
so great, he was so supportive, he had me write
924
00:52:08.179 --> 00:52:12.780
a follow-up article. And I felt like those articles were
925
00:52:12.840 --> 00:52:16.480
very sort of this high testosterone, like, oh, I survived this,
926
00:52:16.599 --> 00:52:20.579
like the angle. And for me, now that I process this,
927
00:52:20.659 --> 00:52:23.590
I felt like there was a much deeper connection. more
928
00:52:23.789 --> 00:52:27.690
spiritual aspect to it as well and so when these
929
00:52:28.389 --> 00:52:30.349
agents were calling saying oh you should write a book
930
00:52:30.369 --> 00:52:31.909
you should write a book and i was like i'm
931
00:52:31.949 --> 00:52:34.239
out shooting i'm finally getting back out there i don't
932
00:52:34.260 --> 00:52:36.239
want to write a book but then i got this
933
00:52:36.300 --> 00:52:39.280
great agent here and i wrote i ended up um
934
00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:44.639
writing a um a pretty lengthy proposal and i thought
935
00:52:44.659 --> 00:52:47.260
it was a really back burner project and so i
936
00:52:47.320 --> 00:52:49.800
handed it to my agent here and then i went
937
00:52:49.880 --> 00:52:52.659
off to antarctica for six weeks and And he said,
938
00:52:52.760 --> 00:52:55.289
call me before you get on that ship. So I
939
00:52:55.289 --> 00:52:57.989
remember calling him from Tierra del Fuego and he's like, oh,
940
00:52:58.170 --> 00:53:00.179
we have a bidding war going. You know, like, who
941
00:53:00.199 --> 00:53:02.989
do you want to go with? And so I was
942
00:53:03.090 --> 00:53:06.949
on this ship, and I did the ship to short call,
943
00:53:07.010 --> 00:53:08.929
and he said, okay, who do you want to go with?
944
00:53:09.030 --> 00:53:14.000
And I said, I'm in the middle of Antarctica. All
945
00:53:14.039 --> 00:53:16.739
I can see are penguins outside of the porthole. So
946
00:53:16.820 --> 00:53:18.420
I said, I think we have to go with penguins.
947
00:53:18.500 --> 00:53:21.139
So that's who published my book, and I did it
948
00:53:21.219 --> 00:53:24.039
on that basis because I was like, ah, the signs
949
00:53:24.079 --> 00:53:28.690
are all around. But what was great is this book
950
00:53:28.750 --> 00:53:31.050
turned into like— What's the name of the book? It's
951
00:53:31.090 --> 00:53:34.610
called Learning to Breathe, One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival.
952
00:53:35.610 --> 00:53:40.070
And it's really, it's a love letter to all these
953
00:53:40.130 --> 00:53:42.170
people that saved my life, you know.
954
00:53:42.190 --> 00:53:43.730
So when you said to the folks in Laos, I'm
955
00:53:43.769 --> 00:53:45.710
going to do something for you, that's what you meant?
956
00:53:46.090 --> 00:53:48.639
No, I wanted to do something else for them. But
957
00:53:49.500 --> 00:53:53.139
I wanted to do something bigger. So I wrote this
958
00:53:53.199 --> 00:53:57.179
book and I showed them the book. But what I
959
00:53:57.260 --> 00:54:01.739
did is it inspired me. to start a nonprofit. And
960
00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:06.469
the nonprofit is called Faces of Hope, facesofhope.org. And I
961
00:54:08.389 --> 00:54:10.750
just wanted to give back to the communities that I
962
00:54:10.789 --> 00:54:15.070
photograph in. I felt like all my work is about
963
00:54:15.150 --> 00:54:18.510
trying to help other people and tell their stories and
964
00:54:18.590 --> 00:54:21.530
hope that somebody sees the images and maybe wants to
965
00:54:21.570 --> 00:54:23.730
do something to help make a difference. But then I thought,
966
00:54:23.769 --> 00:54:24.309
why not me?
967
00:54:24.329 --> 00:54:24.570
And the.
968
00:54:26.659 --> 00:54:28.460
What this is, is I go around the country and
969
00:54:28.500 --> 00:54:30.840
I speak. And if I was doing this book tour,
970
00:54:32.059 --> 00:54:33.900
I didn't want to just show pictures to get people
971
00:54:33.980 --> 00:54:36.159
riled up. I wanted to give them a place where
972
00:54:36.199 --> 00:54:40.159
they actually could help. And so my nonprofit helps women
973
00:54:40.199 --> 00:54:44.030
and children in crisis through education and health care. And
974
00:54:44.070 --> 00:54:47.110
the first thing I did was bring five American doctors
975
00:54:47.869 --> 00:54:50.969
and $ 10, 000 worth of medical supplies to this little village
976
00:54:51.690 --> 00:54:53.829
so other people didn't have to die in this area.
977
00:54:54.969 --> 00:54:57.010
And it was important for me to bring the doctors
978
00:54:57.070 --> 00:55:00.510
to sort of help show them what to do and
979
00:55:01.329 --> 00:55:02.989
maybe not use an upholstery needle.
980
00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:06.340
It must have been amazing for you to go back
981
00:55:06.360 --> 00:55:08.239
to this place of so much pain and suffering for
982
00:55:08.280 --> 00:55:12.639
you and just to show up reasonably, I guess, healthy
983
00:55:12.860 --> 00:55:14.840
and with a bunch of doctors and helping the people
984
00:55:14.889 --> 00:55:17.070
who helped you. That must have been a big moment.
985
00:55:18.300 --> 00:55:21.159
Well, what was really, yeah, it was really big and
986
00:55:21.179 --> 00:55:23.519
it was so beautiful because they have this thing called
987
00:55:23.539 --> 00:55:27.159
a basi ceremony where they'll tie a white string around
988
00:55:27.239 --> 00:55:30.550
your wrist, you know, to show this connection. It's a
989
00:55:30.590 --> 00:55:35.829
very Vipassana thing, but, or Buddhist thing. And they, the
990
00:55:35.849 --> 00:55:38.510
whole village came out. Like I had like so many
991
00:55:38.570 --> 00:55:41.969
strings on my arm and it was so beautiful. And
992
00:55:42.010 --> 00:55:48.199
yet so sad to me because I, My next part
993
00:55:48.239 --> 00:55:52.130
of my journey was to go and find Alan Guy,
994
00:55:52.309 --> 00:55:55.309
the man who had driven me, because this man didn't
995
00:55:55.349 --> 00:56:00.130
have to do that. He, you know, when I was
996
00:56:00.210 --> 00:56:02.909
laying there and this kid was sewing my arm back on,
997
00:56:03.050 --> 00:56:05.809
a woman from the German embassy had been behind the bus.
998
00:56:06.630 --> 00:56:10.260
And she came in and I was like, I can't breathe.
999
00:56:10.300 --> 00:56:12.320
I can't breathe. I need oxygen. And she's like, oh,
1000
00:56:12.360 --> 00:56:16.800
you can't breathe just because you're afraid. And I'm like, yeah.
1001
00:56:17.420 --> 00:56:19.780
You know, I'm like dying, eviscerated by the side of
1002
00:56:19.800 --> 00:56:23.239
the road. And and she left. She just left me
1003
00:56:23.260 --> 00:56:25.159
there to die because she didn't want blood in her car.
1004
00:56:26.119 --> 00:56:29.400
And yet this man found me and he drove me
1005
00:56:29.440 --> 00:56:31.519
eight hours in the back of his pickup truck. You know,
1006
00:56:31.639 --> 00:56:34.860
so every day I think, seriously, I do think this.
1007
00:56:35.219 --> 00:56:38.500
What kindness would I do for a stranger? What kindness
1008
00:56:38.519 --> 00:56:40.599
would you do? You know, this guy went so out
1009
00:56:40.619 --> 00:56:44.219
of his way and we did keep in touch and
1010
00:56:44.559 --> 00:56:48.969
his son was killed on that same road. hit by
1011
00:56:49.010 --> 00:56:53.530
a drunk driver on a motorcycle. So as I came
1012
00:56:53.550 --> 00:56:55.610
with these doctors and this journey, I was going to
1013
00:56:55.659 --> 00:56:58.820
continue on to Vientiane because I heard he and his wife,
1014
00:56:58.840 --> 00:57:02.099
he has a Loatian wife that lived there. And I
1015
00:57:02.099 --> 00:57:05.159
was so excited to meet them. And Von, his wife,
1016
00:57:05.239 --> 00:57:08.190
met me. And I'm like, where's Alan? He had been
1017
00:57:08.250 --> 00:57:10.889
hit and killed on that same road. And I never
1018
00:57:10.929 --> 00:57:13.829
got to see him again. And the last line of
1019
00:57:14.010 --> 00:57:17.010
the book, It says, Alan, if you're out there, find me.
1020
00:57:17.030 --> 00:57:19.940
I owe you a beer. Because we had said, like,
1021
00:57:20.760 --> 00:57:22.460
when I'm in the truck, I'm like, if I ever
1022
00:57:22.519 --> 00:57:24.809
get out of this, I'm buying you a beer, you know?
1023
00:57:24.889 --> 00:57:25.059
And....
1024
00:57:28.670 --> 00:57:29.050
Yeah.
1025
00:57:29.170 --> 00:57:32.869
And I think why, you know, why did I survive?
1026
00:57:32.949 --> 00:57:35.429
He didn't, his son didn't, and he was doing great
1027
00:57:35.489 --> 00:57:40.590
things there. You know, he worked there detonating landmines and it's, um,
1028
00:57:41.949 --> 00:57:44.090
that's painful for me that I didn't get to see
1029
00:57:44.130 --> 00:57:47.530
him again, but, you know, I love his wife and
1030
00:57:47.730 --> 00:57:50.510
it was really beautiful to see her and thank her.
1031
00:57:50.630 --> 00:57:52.789
She was in the car, you know, at the time too.
1032
00:57:52.809 --> 00:57:56.059
So You know, these people literally saved my life.
1033
00:57:56.079 --> 00:57:57.329
She was in the car when they were driving you.
1034
00:57:57.530 --> 00:57:58.119
Exactly.
1035
00:57:58.159 --> 00:57:58.679
Yeah, yeah.
1036
00:57:58.949 --> 00:58:07.630
So, you know, it's just, it's life. And so what's
1037
00:58:07.670 --> 00:58:11.190
interesting is I got on this bus and one of
1038
00:58:11.210 --> 00:58:11.650
the greatest.
1039
00:58:11.670 --> 00:58:13.210
You got back on the same bus.
1040
00:58:13.309 --> 00:58:15.789
I literally got back on the bus leaving this village
1041
00:58:15.809 --> 00:58:17.730
because that was key for me. You know, once I
1042
00:58:17.789 --> 00:58:19.780
said goodbye to the villagers, I needed to get back
1043
00:58:19.840 --> 00:58:24.000
on this bus because I wanted to confront that fear.
1044
00:58:25.289 --> 00:58:27.989
And one of my big takeaways with all this meditation
1045
00:58:28.010 --> 00:58:31.329
is that, you know, somebody just asked me this, like,
1046
00:58:31.469 --> 00:58:33.909
you don't seem to feel a lot of fear. And
1047
00:58:33.929 --> 00:58:35.170
I had to think about it for a minute. And
1048
00:58:35.190 --> 00:58:38.949
I'm like, I don't. You know, I'm in some really crazy,
1049
00:58:39.210 --> 00:58:43.050
hairy situations. And I've had some really close calls. But
1050
00:58:43.070 --> 00:58:46.900
I tend to not really feel fear because what I've
1051
00:58:46.940 --> 00:58:49.480
really come to terms with through this meditation is that
1052
00:58:49.579 --> 00:58:52.699
fear is just a thought. It's really just a thought,
1053
00:58:53.050 --> 00:58:57.110
because if you're having this fear of what could happen
1054
00:58:57.150 --> 00:59:01.090
or the unknown, just let it go. Notice it and
1055
00:59:01.110 --> 00:59:03.530
let it go. I mean, if you're lying dying eviscerated
1056
00:59:03.570 --> 00:59:05.489
by the side of the road, that's a good reason
1057
00:59:05.510 --> 00:59:08.889
to feel fear. But when I got back on the bus,
1058
00:59:09.030 --> 00:59:10.719
I really didn't feel it. it, you know? And then
1059
00:59:10.739 --> 00:59:14.639
the interesting thing is we actually clipped another bus as
1060
00:59:14.679 --> 00:59:18.320
we were coming around the corner, everybody screamed. And I thought, wow,
1061
00:59:18.360 --> 00:59:21.599
this is so, you know, I can't believe I'm living
1062
00:59:21.639 --> 00:59:23.900
this again. And yet nothing happened. And the girl said
1063
00:59:23.940 --> 00:59:26.480
to me, next to me said, wow, that was so close.
1064
00:59:26.519 --> 00:59:28.949
And I'm like, you have no idea, you know, like,
1065
00:59:30.170 --> 00:59:32.730
That's what's incredible. It's like one second can change your
1066
00:59:32.789 --> 00:59:33.969
life or not.
1067
00:59:35.210 --> 00:59:36.849
It sounds like they need to shut this road down.
1068
00:59:37.130 --> 00:59:37.570
Oh, yeah.
1069
00:59:37.769 --> 00:59:41.599
Oh, it's it's such a dangerous road. But I've been
1070
00:59:41.619 --> 00:59:44.519
back on it since they have fixed some of the potholes.
1071
00:59:44.719 --> 00:59:47.519
But it's a very precipitous mountain road. I mean, and
1072
00:59:47.539 --> 00:59:51.400
there's like very little it's very curvy. There's very little
1073
00:59:51.860 --> 00:59:56.429
room for passing. And it's it's also interesting allows for
1074
00:59:56.489 --> 00:59:59.449
some reason. And this is what happened with us. They
1075
00:59:59.489 --> 01:00:01.860
tend to not honk their horn. Like in India, they're
1076
01:00:01.880 --> 01:00:04.719
constantly honking. And there's a reason for that. They're letting
1077
01:00:04.739 --> 01:00:07.980
you know like they're coming around the corner. And our
1078
01:00:08.019 --> 01:00:08.920
guy didn't do that.
1079
01:00:10.460 --> 01:00:12.300
How's your body now?
1080
01:00:13.550 --> 01:00:15.630
It's good. You know, I mean, I have a very
1081
01:00:15.690 --> 01:00:18.090
high bar. I just got back from South Sudan the
1082
01:00:18.130 --> 01:00:21.070
day before yesterday. I mean, I'm constantly on the road.
1083
01:00:21.110 --> 01:00:24.130
I'm traveling all the time and carrying all my equipment.
1084
01:00:25.949 --> 01:00:28.309
And I'm at the gym every day. I mean, you know,
1085
01:00:28.349 --> 01:00:32.260
I'm doing great. There's certain things that, you know, I
1086
01:00:33.280 --> 01:00:36.050
still have pain with, but. Again, I do have a
1087
01:00:36.090 --> 01:00:38.090
high bar about what I want to be doing. I'm
1088
01:00:38.130 --> 01:00:43.630
not at a desk job. So, yeah, I'm just so
1089
01:00:43.690 --> 01:00:45.469
happy I'm back doing what I love.
1090
01:00:45.530 --> 01:00:45.730
Yeah.
1091
01:00:45.909 --> 01:00:53.889
You know, I mean, I feel really, really blessed about that. So, yeah,
1092
01:00:53.929 --> 01:01:01.500
there's definitely. There's just always challenges, you know, I mean, it's. But,
1093
01:01:01.519 --> 01:01:06.409
you know, it's it's it's hard to. there's different hard things.
1094
01:01:06.469 --> 01:01:10.480
There's the physical hard, but I think, you know, there's
1095
01:01:10.539 --> 01:01:12.739
so many challenging things. I mean, I just came back
1096
01:01:12.780 --> 01:01:16.219
from covering like a million South Sudanese refugees, you know,
1097
01:01:16.280 --> 01:01:20.460
and that's, that's heartbreaking. Um, I covered the Royenga, you know,
1098
01:01:20.760 --> 01:01:23.230
a couple months ago and I just, I had a
1099
01:01:23.269 --> 01:01:25.949
really hard time pulling out of that. You know, sometimes
1100
01:01:26.010 --> 01:01:29.289
you just like look at this human suffering and go,
1101
01:01:30.329 --> 01:01:31.929
what are we doing to ourselves?
1102
01:01:32.349 --> 01:01:32.730
You know?
1103
01:01:32.750 --> 01:01:36.219
Um, But I just came out with a new book,
1104
01:01:36.820 --> 01:01:40.619
a photo book called Human Tribe. And it's really looking
1105
01:01:40.940 --> 01:01:45.159
at after being now to 150 countries, you know, how
1106
01:01:45.280 --> 01:01:47.699
different we might look, but really how much we're the
1107
01:01:47.739 --> 01:01:52.630
same the world over. And, you know, we all want
1108
01:01:52.650 --> 01:01:54.650
to love and be loved. We all want a little
1109
01:01:54.690 --> 01:01:56.949
money in our pocket enough to get by. We want
1110
01:01:57.030 --> 01:02:00.389
safety and health for ourself, our friends, our family, education
1111
01:02:00.409 --> 01:02:03.190
for our children. I mean, it's really not that difficult.
1112
01:02:03.739 --> 01:02:09.199
different or that difficult. We make it difficult, but everywhere
1113
01:02:09.239 --> 01:02:12.760
I go, it's really the same. And it's just this
1114
01:02:12.929 --> 01:02:19.329
idea of wanting to celebrate our diversity and how beautiful
1115
01:02:19.389 --> 01:02:21.730
we all are. And that's, for me, what I feel
1116
01:02:21.769 --> 01:02:25.150
like now my purpose in coming back here is just
1117
01:02:25.760 --> 01:02:28.599
to continue with this kind of work of really, you know,
1118
01:02:28.940 --> 01:02:31.969
trying to say it, you know, at the end of
1119
01:02:32.010 --> 01:02:34.769
this road, I think there's that we're going to get
1120
01:02:35.309 --> 01:02:38.690
how connected we are, you know, that we need to
1121
01:02:38.849 --> 01:02:39.769
get past this.
1122
01:02:39.789 --> 01:02:42.150
Do you think it'll make a difference because we've been
1123
01:02:42.170 --> 01:02:45.820
killing and raping and, and, and maiming each other since,
1124
01:02:46.199 --> 01:02:47.780
you know, we descended from apes.
1125
01:02:48.159 --> 01:02:50.920
I know. I, I totally agree with that. I, that's
1126
01:02:51.119 --> 01:02:55.159
where I feel like there's, Yeah, I just feel like
1127
01:02:55.199 --> 01:03:00.929
there's something that continues on that, for whatever reason, we're
1128
01:03:01.010 --> 01:03:05.550
living through that experience here and now in this realm.
1129
01:03:05.710 --> 01:03:11.179
But I just think that there's something else, that there's
1130
01:03:11.219 --> 01:03:14.260
a core of something that goes on.
1131
01:03:14.280 --> 01:03:17.380
So you're not sure necessarily that humanity is going to
1132
01:03:17.400 --> 01:03:21.380
get its act together, but that there's something beyond what
1133
01:03:21.420 --> 01:03:23.030
we're experiencing now is your point.
1134
01:03:23.239 --> 01:03:24.519
That's what I personally feel.
1135
01:03:24.980 --> 01:03:25.260
Yes.
1136
01:03:25.800 --> 01:03:30.340
I do feel that there's, there's something evolutionizing here that
1137
01:03:30.400 --> 01:03:33.949
we might not necessarily seeing this. We're probably all going
1138
01:03:33.969 --> 01:03:39.969
to end up in some tar pit, like with those dinosaurs. But, um,
1139
01:03:41.250 --> 01:03:44.829
but you know, I just think that there's something more
1140
01:03:44.869 --> 01:03:47.719
to all this. I mean, there's just things that have
1141
01:03:47.760 --> 01:03:50.239
come across my path that have made me believe that.
1142
01:03:50.260 --> 01:03:55.199
Um, I want to give a chance to, because you
1143
01:03:55.239 --> 01:03:57.699
mentioned a bunch of your books, but let's consolidate it
1144
01:03:57.840 --> 01:03:59.780
and put it all in one place. I call this
1145
01:03:59.800 --> 01:04:02.159
the plug zone. I like to let people plug to
1146
01:04:02.199 --> 01:04:04.739
their heart's delight. So give us all the books and
1147
01:04:04.780 --> 01:04:07.059
then where we can find you online.
1148
01:04:07.400 --> 01:04:11.619
Okay. My books are all on Amazon or at your
1149
01:04:11.659 --> 01:04:16.110
local bookstore, which I love to support. My latest book
1150
01:04:16.150 --> 01:04:21.329
is called Human Tribe. My memoir is called Learning to Breathe,
1151
01:04:21.630 --> 01:04:27.670
One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival. My nonprofit is facesofhope.org.
1152
01:04:28.969 --> 01:04:34.610
And my website is www.allisonwright.com.
1153
01:04:35.989 --> 01:04:37.670
And you mentioned a few earlier books, too.
1154
01:04:38.150 --> 01:04:44.130
Yeah, yeah. The Spirit of Tibet, A Simple Monk, The
1155
01:04:44.150 --> 01:04:47.210
Dalai Lama. I did a book on children around the
1156
01:04:47.250 --> 01:04:52.889
world called Faces of Hope. I have a big color
1157
01:04:52.929 --> 01:05:01.090
coffee table book. face-to-face, Porch of the Human Spirit, and
1158
01:05:01.750 --> 01:05:05.429
the other two that I mentioned. And I've done three
1159
01:05:05.489 --> 01:05:15.320
travel books for National Geographic, you know, China, London, Great Britain. So, yeah,
1160
01:05:16.739 --> 01:05:21.630
I think that's sort of where all this has brought me,
1161
01:05:21.889 --> 01:05:27.530
but I always wish I was better at this, you know.
1162
01:05:27.730 --> 01:05:28.030
At what?
1163
01:05:33.210 --> 01:05:37.869
You know, meditating and going deeper and, you know.
1164
01:05:37.929 --> 01:05:42.489
Sounds like you were able to apply all the stuff
1165
01:05:42.510 --> 01:05:44.530
that the rest of us are doing is kind of
1166
01:05:44.570 --> 01:05:47.769
like academic. You know, I mean, I might be less
1167
01:05:47.829 --> 01:05:50.469
prone to temper tantrums because I meditate, which is important.
1168
01:05:50.510 --> 01:05:53.389
I'm not downplaying that. But I haven't had my body.
1169
01:05:54.659 --> 01:05:59.019
mangled in a bus crash in Tibet with no medical care,
1170
01:05:59.039 --> 01:06:01.800
that is where the rubber quite literally hits the road.
1171
01:06:02.679 --> 01:06:04.199
So I don't know what you're talking about when you
1172
01:06:04.219 --> 01:06:07.630
say you wish you were better at meditation. You're walking
1173
01:06:07.730 --> 01:06:10.329
quite literally example of how meditation can be useful in
1174
01:06:10.349 --> 01:06:14.469
the most extreme environment. So thank you for doing this.
1175
01:06:14.489 --> 01:06:16.250
I really appreciate it. It's a pleasure to meet you.
1176
01:06:16.409 --> 01:06:19.869
Yeah, you too. I really do appreciate the time. And
1177
01:06:20.670 --> 01:06:23.730
it was really, I loved your book.
1178
01:06:24.030 --> 01:06:24.389
Thank you.
1179
01:06:24.599 --> 01:06:24.719
Yeah.
1180
01:06:24.780 --> 01:06:25.280
Appreciate it.
1181
01:06:25.460 --> 01:06:29.679
I appreciate it. It was, uh, I love that you
1182
01:06:29.699 --> 01:06:33.880
took it in context of, um, kind of like, this
1183
01:06:33.940 --> 01:06:37.510
isn't my thing, but, you know, and, and that's, I
1184
01:06:37.550 --> 01:06:40.650
think that's just really important, you know, like how do we,
1185
01:06:41.289 --> 01:06:43.869
how do we reach other people that are just, you know,
1186
01:06:44.250 --> 01:06:48.690
trying to get through the day? Because, um, Everybody has
1187
01:06:48.710 --> 01:06:51.190
their own logging truck. You know, like I have my
1188
01:06:51.250 --> 01:06:53.090
story and people are like, oh, well, yeah, but you
1189
01:06:53.110 --> 01:06:54.809
got hit by a logging truck. And I'm like, yeah,
1190
01:06:54.849 --> 01:06:57.329
you know what? Every day people have a logging truck,
1191
01:06:57.750 --> 01:07:00.090
you know, and and even with some of the things
1192
01:07:00.210 --> 01:07:02.710
I go through and people say, oh, God, well, you've,
1193
01:07:03.710 --> 01:07:05.690
you know, gone through so much. And I'm like, yeah,
1194
01:07:05.730 --> 01:07:08.929
you know what? An ingrown toenail still can hurt. You know,
1195
01:07:09.110 --> 01:07:13.360
it's just it's all perspective. People's pain is people's pain.
1196
01:07:13.380 --> 01:07:17.210
That's exactly right. And in a universe where. We're all
1197
01:07:17.250 --> 01:07:20.429
born to die, and everybody you know is going to
1198
01:07:20.469 --> 01:07:22.829
go away, and you are going to go away. We're
1199
01:07:22.849 --> 01:07:25.489
all going to be dealing with logging trucks. And so
1200
01:07:25.550 --> 01:07:29.840
your life might have been relatively seamless thus far, ingrown
1201
01:07:30.659 --> 01:07:35.619
toenails notwithstanding, you know, that we need to prepare ourselves
1202
01:07:35.699 --> 01:07:39.440
for life's ups and downs. Yeah.
1203
01:07:39.579 --> 01:07:40.860
Well, thank you for doing this.
1204
01:07:40.880 --> 01:07:44.679
My pleasure. Thank you. Okay, that does it for another
1205
01:07:44.719 --> 01:07:47.289
edition of the 10% Happier Podcast. If you liked it,
1206
01:07:47.380 --> 01:07:49.949
please take a minute to subscribe, rate us. Also, if
1207
01:07:49.969 --> 01:07:52.170
you want to suggest topics you think we should cover
1208
01:07:52.230 --> 01:07:54.210
or guests that we should bring in, hit me up
1209
01:07:54.289 --> 01:07:55.889
on Twitter at Dan B.
1210
01:07:55.929 --> 01:07:56.289
Harris.
1211
01:07:56.610 --> 01:07:59.389
Importantly, I want to thank the people who produced this podcast,
1212
01:07:59.590 --> 01:08:02.349
Lauren Efron, Josh Cohen, and the rest of the folks
1213
01:08:02.369 --> 01:08:05.369
here at ABC who helped make this thing possible. We
1214
01:08:05.409 --> 01:08:07.530
have tons of other podcasts. You can check them out
1215
01:08:07.670 --> 01:08:11.739
at abcnewspodcasts.com. I'll talk to you next Wednesday.