From Office Floor to Faithful Leader — Mark Dolfini on Marriage, Vision, and Recovery

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There's a kind of rock bottom a man hits where he would rather crash on his office floor than walk through his own front door.
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Today's guest lived there, running from home, running from himself, until God finally met him in a place where he felt the most safe.
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Welcome to the Valiant Force Podcast, where we help men overcome life's battles, show up better in the world, and become a valiant warrior for God.
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This is a place where we show practical strategies that will equip you on life's journey to help you become the man God has called you to be.
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He was sleeping at his office, avoiding the collapse of a marriage and the weight of his own choices, and that's exactly where God got his attention.
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This isn't a story about fixing a marriage.
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It's a story about God rebuilding a man, and it's one every man needs to hear.
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This is my conversation with Mark Delfini.
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Mark, welcome to the podcast.
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Mark, I like your name.
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Yes, yes.
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Yeah.
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I I didn't really like my name when I was younger.
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I didn't either.
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I didn't feel like there was a so growing up, I felt like there wasn't enough famous Marks to right.
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Like, and then then we then we grew up through Mark McGuire, right?
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And there was some other famous marks that came along.
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Marky Mark, we had to suffer through.
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Yes.
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Oh my gosh, so many times have I been called that.
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And my last name is Osborne.
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So when I was young, I always got asked if I was related to Ozzy, which the name, the spelling isn't the same.
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But I was my nickname as a child was little Ozzy.
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Oh my.
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Yeah.
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Because of my yeah.
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Yeah.
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And how many people spell your name in various ways or call you Marcus because they think it's more formal.
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You know?
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I I've been called Marcus quite a few times, but my name does get spelled with a C once in a while when people don't remember that it's actually with a K.
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It's a yeah, yeah.
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But but as as I've gotten older though, I will tell you I I've I have definitely grown an appreciation for it because it they're really it's not a very popular name.
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Um, that's correct.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So tell us your story.
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So so how how did you come to faith?
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And then what brought you to being the man you are today and what you do today?
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It's interesting.
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I we grew up I grew up in New York, and my my family, my my father and his side of the family was is Italian.
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My mother and her side of the family w uh was Scottish, like straight off the boat.
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And in fact, she immigrated here when she was in her teens.
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And so my on my father's side, they were raised as Roman Catholics.
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On my mother's side, we were raised as Anglican Catholics.
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And there really wasn't I didn't know anything different.
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I mean, they called it the Episcopal Church, but it was Anglican Catholic.
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And I didn't really know I didn't know anything different, right?
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We just knew about the Roman Catholics and that's what they do over there, but not realizing how similar the Anglican Catholic the Episcopal Church is, especially High Episcopal, which was what we were in involved in, um, in the Anglican Catholic Church.
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So, and it wasn't until I actually joined the Marines until later on that I mean if you ever want to find faith, you usually find it in the military, right?
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Like I went to the boot camp, boot camp was awful, and everybody who was anybody kind of wanted to go to church just because you got to break.
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If nothing else, for an hour, you just gotta break.
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And and for me, faith was always played a role for us, but I never really felt moved by my faith.
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And it was, and and this isn't meant to be an indictment of any particular faith or anything like that.
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I'm not not here to to say Anglican Catholic Catholicism was good or bad or whatever.
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It just I was it was very corporate, right, for me.
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Like I just kind of knew, like, okay, we go in, we do this, this is what then this is, and then after that, you do this, right?
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It was very the liturgy between Anglican Catholic and Roman Catholic are very, very similar.
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So for me, I I that was kind of what I grew up in.
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So when I went to boot camp, and now I'm on my own doing my own thing.
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I went to the they were like, okay, where am I Catholics?
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Well, I didn't really identify as Catholic, it was episcopal.
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So we're like, where am I Catholics?
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So all the Catholics went over there, and where they're Protestants, okay, you go over there.
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So I got shepherded into a a Baptist style.
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Um we didn't, it wasn't called a mass, it was just basically this preaching.
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I was like, oh my gosh, is is this is this guy a football coach?
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Like, I didn't know what I was in for, right?
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This is in, you know, um, you know, this is in um Beaufort, South Carolina.
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So I was like, holy crap, like what is happening here, right?
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This is not church.
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Um, but it was it was it was a lot.
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So I ended up going to the um Roman Catholic Mass, which I felt much more comfortable with, right?
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I just I was like, oh, this is recognizable.
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I know what we're doing.
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We, you know, we go and so anyway, that was kind of my journey along and and I stayed on that journey for most of my life, in fact.
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I it was, you know, I would go to mass, I would go to you know, wherever I was in the world.
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Um, I didn't really have a Bible, I didn't really read the Bible because that's kind of not what we did.
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You know, like the Bible was in church and it was up front, and like we did that, like we just it's we didn't read the Bible, we had a Bible home, we just never read it.
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So it was interesting.
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So that was a kind of my my beginning.
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So I always had a solid foundation in in God in church, but I cannot say that I was godly, certainly wasn't Christ-like in in that aspect at all.
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And I never really understood the the connection between God and Christ, like because our church never really made a connection to Christ.
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It was always about God and then kind of made references to Jesus, but it was always like God, but they kind of was like Jesus was just something different.
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And I never I just couldn't make that rec, you know, that reconciliation.
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Um and and I will fully take ownership of that, you know, because I'm not like I really was all that interested.
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It was just kind of going and checking the box and doing that thing.
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Well, later on in life, I you know, I had not been married, I would was um had a series of relationships on and off, things like that.
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Well, I ended up meeting this woman who is now my wife, and my bride and I, we um she know we would go to church and we went to church and she's she rem I remember her asking when we went to this Episcopal church here in town, and she's like, Where are the Bibles at?
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And I'm like, What do you mean where are the Bibles at?
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Like the Bible's up front, like it's this big golden book, you know, like they read from and you know they they hold it up and like the whole thing, right?
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They make the big entrance with the with the word of the word of Christ and the gospel.
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And that was I was very confused by why she asked that.
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And she says, Well, you know, I'm used to, and then she kept saying, Well, I go to a Christian church.
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And I'm like, Well, why would you say a Christian church when it's all based on the teachings of Christ, right?
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But then I recog recognized the difference between evangelical and you know, non-evangelical, I guess what what you want to say, like a more you know, Bible-based type church versus not, right?
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So I don't know how to say this the right way.
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So I'm hoping that your listeners will grace because I don't know how to describe this, right?
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And I'm certainly not no, you know, theologian.
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Um, so in any event, um, you know, my my faith really started to grow when things in our family really started to fall apart.
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And yes, we went to church, we got married in church, but I think that God was probably the furthest thing from our relationship.
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And it was in 2016 and 2017 where things we'd been married for a number of years.
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I had um, you know, we we had uh two children at the time.
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They were not of my biology, but they're my kids.
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Like we I adopted them, they're my boys, they're you know, and I say that because they're older, right?
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So they're right now they're 20 and uh 17, but we've only we've been married 11 years.
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So, but they're my kids.
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They're they're my boys, they're my kids, they have my name.
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And um, and I've been in their life since they were three and five.
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We were doing pretty much our own thing at that point, you know.
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I wasn't even living at home because things were just so bad.
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I didn't even want to go home most of the time.
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I would just stay and sleep at my office.
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And um, and I'll tell you what, if you really want to find God, you know, they say they find it in the bottom of a foxhole or uh, you know, in prison or or something like that.
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But I'll tell you, when you're in a bad marriage, I I'm telling you, and and it was just it ever we fought about everything.
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If I said the sky was blue, she'd say it was pink, and we would fight about that.
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I mean, it was just it was so much hurt and um and betrayal and all of the things that were going on, and it's not it was not let me just make make this clear.
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It was 100% me and 100% her giving 100% of nothing good, and I will one I will 100% own my part of it, and she has owned 100% her part of it, and we were out doing our own thing and everything that that means, okay.
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So we'll just kind of leave that there, but not not in a great way, and it certainly was not a great period of my life that I'm super proud of, but it did bring us closer to God, and it was interesting because how people show up in your life during the time when things were really truly at our worst, and I knew she wasn't sleeping much, and you know, she got ended up getting fired from her job, and just things were just circling pretty quick.
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And this woman who called me, and I remember this woman, and I and I kind of posted on social media that hey, we're we're kind of we're kind of done.
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I ended up post I ended up removing all of her photos, like, hey, we're you know, we're kind of at the end of this.
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Thanks, everybody.
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And there was a couple few people, very few.
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All the others are saying thoughts and prayers, right?
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The people who never think or pray, right?
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But you know, the people saying the thoughts and prayers thing.
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But there was an ardent few, and they were they were they were Christians that said to me, do not give up.
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Do not give up.
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And there's this one woman, um, her name's Kathy.
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And Kathy was a devout Christian, and she's one of these people that you really don't ever want to take a phone call from.
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Just because everything with her is a fight.
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Every like she's just a very, very strong-willed individual, and I adore her for it, but she at this point in time I just didn't need that, right?
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And she showed up in a way I never ever expected her to.
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And God used her as a vessel in that moment and asked me a series of questions, asked me, you know, some things, gave me some really good advice, and she and and and that was it.
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And that was a thing that she said, you know, she gave me some uh some other pieces of advice, like, you know, um, start going to church, start listening to church, start praying together, you know, start, you know, if you're not living at home, that needs to change immediately.
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Don't take advice from non-Christian, non-married people right now, right?
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Like, I mean, she gave me some really good advice.
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And that right there, and the and the the people that God brought into my life, where it's not coincidence, it was providence.
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Amen.
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And during that period of time where we not only got to the other side of it, and now keep in mind when I walked into the house for the first time, you know, for the first time, I walked into a situation that's not worth repeating, but it was it was it was, you know, I didn't care.
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I didn't care what was going on.
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I didn't care what happened, and whatever.
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And I walked in, I said, listen, I don't care what happened, I hear what's I hear, I care what's going on from here forward, right?
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And I'm just letting you know that I'm not leaving this marriage until I'm effing dead.
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And I I'm bleeping it on purpose, okay?
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Right.
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I was very clear about what I was about, and and of course it was all bluster, and she said, I had no reason to believe me.
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And I said, okay, we're gonna pray and we're gonna make this happen.
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So we did, and for the next week we had very, very direct, very clear, probably the ugliest conversations that a married couple can have.
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But for the first time, they may have been ugly, but they were not venomous, and that's a big difference.
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And that's that's been the start of my journey.
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Wow, I love that.
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This is a podcast where I'm trying to help men, you know, step up and lead.
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What you showed there in in your despair, in your moment of decision, was leadership.
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You you went to your wife and said, This is what we need to do.
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And you used God to do that, because that's such an awesome story.
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So while that was going on, were you in business?
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Because is what you do now as a strategist, which we'll we'll get into that in a minute.
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Yeah, I I I've been in business for most of my I mean most of my professional career.
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Um I've been in business for myself.
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And um but you know, I can tell you that summer I didn't get much work done, you know, just because there I was so distracted by the sin in my life, the sin that slows us down, the sin that that that binds us all.
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And it's you know, it's so weird that people have this uh weird relationship with the word sin, and it's just like, you know, just it's it's almost it's like that's what the that's what the Bible thumpers, you know, that's the word that the Bible thumpers use.
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And it's it it shouldn't be.
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It should be much more normalized, and not in a way where you're punching Jesus into someone's mouth, but just say, listen, man, I have a I have people who've come to me and in my work as a strategist, and I like, and and I'm careful where I do this because right now Christianity is very much under attack, but I also need to make sure that I'm showing up in the way, the best way for people.
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And sometimes they have a bad relationship with church and religion and all the things, right?
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So I show up the best way that I can for them, but my avatar, the people I like working with the most, if I'm truly honest, it's Christian married couples who have businesses that have kids at home.
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Right.
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And the reason for that is because I know all those problems, right?
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I know what it's like to struggle in my faith.
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I know what it's like to struggle in my marriage and with my ch with my children, and having adopted children, right?
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And you know, and we built one from a kit, right?
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Like we're now we've got a three-year-old.
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So I'm like, feel like I'm at parenting 501 right now.
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Ask me anything, right?
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Yeah.
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So we've got it all, and I feel like, you know, having and stepping into it, I really do appreciate you recognizing that as leadership, because I mean, I'll tell you, that was the hardest thing to do was to set aside my own need to be right and my own ego so I could surrender to God and just give this to him and say, Listen, God, I can't do this.
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And and that's what happened.
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And then that moment, I you know, I walked in, I said, This is what's gonna happen.
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I'm gonna pray with you, and then we're just gonna lay together.
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And we did, and that was it, it was tenuous, but it was the beginning of healing.
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So it sucked, but it was it was it was necessary.
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Um, I don't say I want to go through it again, right?
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But very much worth it.
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Yeah, that I that's where why a lot of men don't step up because it takes courage, it takes boldness, it takes faith.
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What you did there when you spoke to your wife, that was a step of faith.
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You didn't know how she was gonna respond, you didn't know how she was gonna take it, but you you felt led in that moment to do that, you know, and I I appreciate that.
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Thanks.
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So in in your work as a strategist, what what brought you to where you're now helping more Christian businesses?
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Do you help everybody or do you just help Christian businesses?
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If they're not, if they're not like you know, if they're not checking the box as a Christian, um, you know, have I worked with people of other faiths?
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Yes, I have.
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To me, it's important that they have faith.
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I'm not gonna say, well, you're wrong because, right?
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Because I can only go by my own convictions, right?
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And if they feel led to have other conversations around that, but they I'm not I'm not gonna hide it.
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I'm not gonna say, like, I had a Muslim that that worked with me, and I said, Hey, look, I just want to let you know, is this gonna be a problem that I'm a Christian and you're a Muslim?
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And he says, dude, we are so much closer than we're farther apart.
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And I was like, Okay, like, you know, and he's and and he his words, right?
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And I was like, okay.
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And and we talked about God from time to time, but it wasn't um, you know, it's at some point he recognized he recognized and he and I respected his faith, and and we didn't get into it too much, but generally when I work with with people who at least have a foundation in God, even if it's not necessarily a center for them, it allows me opportunities, especially because I'm a life and business strategist who likes to work with business owners.
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I'm not a business coach, although I use and employ the tools of a business coach from time to time.
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Right?
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:23.759
I'm not a marriage counselor, although I use and employ things that I've learned that I have used in my own marriage.
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:25.519
I'm not giving them marriage advice.
00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:27.599
I'll just say, hey, look, I can't tell you what to do.
00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:29.039
This is what worked for me.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:29.680
Right?
00:19:29.759 --> 00:19:29.920
Yeah.
00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:37.359
And that's where it starts to bring in and circle those conversations, like, hey, if you've got problems with your kids, hey, this is something that I have done.
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:40.000
And I certainly do not know how to have that figured out, right?
00:19:40.319 --> 00:19:42.079
But our kids are good kids.
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:43.279
They really are.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:46.400
And they're doing, they're doing well.
00:19:47.039 --> 00:19:52.559
They're making their mistakes, they're they're they're engaging in their lives, they're doing the best they can with what they have.
00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:54.160
Were we the best parents?
00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:58.640
No, because they were living going through the mess that we were bringing home, right?
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:03.279
But they are good, you know, they are good kids and hopefully didn't mess them up too badly.
00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:16.640
But that's the those all those life situations that come around, give me that opportunity to have the relationship or have the trust with them to say, can I can I share with you with my faith a little bit on this?
00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:19.200
And they rarely don't say yes, right?
00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:20.960
I don't think it I don't think anybody ever has.
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:30.480
And I share the this is why it's important for me to bring prayer into the business and ask God for advice.
00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:39.680
And when I have done that meaningfully and have asked him specifically, hey God, I am made of questions right now.
00:20:39.759 --> 00:20:41.759
I don't even know the question to ask you, right?
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:43.359
Can you help me here?
00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:57.119
And and I will say, like, my faith, it's so funny because I feel like my faith is so authentic because I've never had like a and I'm I'm just gonna tell you right now, I do not quote scripture scripture very well.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:59.119
I just kind of know the Bible because I read it, right?
00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:04.880
But I'm not like I never had this Paul experience on the road to Damascus.
00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:07.039
I was like, you know, I've never had that, right?
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:12.160
And I'm kind of glad I haven't because I don't know that I would be able to handle it as well as Paul did.
00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:20.400
But but that that for me, it's always been these whispers, it's always been these ideas, it's always been the just, hey, why don't you give this a try?
00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:22.000
I'm like, hey, yeah, okay.
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:26.799
And of course, you know, in the early days, I'm always like, hey, I came up with this really good idea, right?
00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:27.599
Right, for you.
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:28.240
Right?
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:29.759
I'm taking all the credit.
00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:33.599
But now I realize where it's coming from.
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:43.279
And that whisper and that nudge and that reminder and that, hey, by the way, and that and and the protections that are being offered for me so I can stay focused.
00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:45.920
Um, it does not go unnoticed.
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:59.680
So I think those conversations that I can have, whether it's about strictly a business thing or strictly a non business thing being experienced by a business owner, um, or even just a person that's just struggling.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:08.160
Struggling in this moment, you know, I can I feel like I can always bring that back to my relationship with Christ.
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:09.119
Yeah.
00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:17.440
For guys that uh are a little more like me, I've heard the term strategist, but I don't know exactly what it is.
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:20.720
Most of the time it's either a life coach or a business coach.
00:22:20.880 --> 00:22:22.319
They call themselves coaches.
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:24.240
You call yourself a strategist.
00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:25.519
What is the difference?
00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:29.759
I you kind of just explained it, but Yeah, it's a great question.
00:22:29.920 --> 00:22:40.880
And it's so a a coach is probably a little bit more limited in and I'm painting this with a very broad brush, so I'm not gonna want to get hate mail from a bunch of coaches all of a sudden.
00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:52.079
But coaches tend to be a little bit more um, they ask a lot of questions and they really truly believe fundamentally that the answer lies best within the individual, which I also agree, right?
00:22:52.160 --> 00:23:04.079
I think a lot of times if you're asking a lot of the right questions, the question the the the the it's a there comes with a fundamental belief that the that the knowledge is already inside that person, it just kind of needs to be brought out.
00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:14.160
And and I also believe, and this is my truth, that a coach also brings with them a certain degree of accountability.
00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:21.759
So I don't know if you were in sports in high school, but you did not show up late to practice, right?
00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:26.640
You were on the wrestling team and it's just it was music for me, but same thing.
00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:28.160
Same thing though, right?
00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:30.960
Same thing, like just start playing chords until I get tired.
00:23:31.039 --> 00:23:31.839
You're like, really?
00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:33.920
I don't really want to do this, right?
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:38.559
Start cleaning up, you're like, you know, and that's the sort of thing, like start running laps until I get tired.
00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:51.359
And and that's the thing that that I I also feel like a lot of people who refer to themselves as coaches aren't because they they don't bring that measure of accountability to others.
00:23:51.599 --> 00:23:58.319
And that's really what I believe, like a lot of people maybe have knowledge, but they don't necessarily bring um bring the accountability.
00:23:58.559 --> 00:23:59.599
So that's for me.
00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:03.359
Now there are a lot of coaches who are very smart and have lots of different aspects.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:05.759
You know, they bring knowledge to the table, of course.
00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:12.720
Um, they they kind of bring in their own knowledge, and that's where it starts to cross over between consultant and and coach.
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:24.160
But as a strategist, I employ very specific techniques which which sometimes looks like consulting, sometimes looks like teaching and educating, and sometimes looks like coaching.
00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:35.200
It's just it from a strat from a strategic perspective, just just think about clearing off a metaphorical table and putting together a battle plan based on whatever assets you have at the time.
00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:39.759
So you and to do that, you have to really know everything.
00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:42.079
You have to kind of know all aspects of that.
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:47.119
And there's a lot of coaches who kind of don't wander into the personal aspect of it because, like, nope, I'm just a business coach.
00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:53.200
You know, if you need to talk about personal stuff, you go get a marriage counselor, you go get someone else that's gonna handle you with that.
00:24:53.359 --> 00:25:04.400
Um, I will delve a little bit further deeper into that, but I still will say I really do think you guys need to visit with a marriage counselor or talk to a you know a priest or a, you know, uh or whatever, right?
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:13.599
Like you know, preacher or someone like like there's specialists, you know, you need to talk to a specialized tax accountant, you need to talk to an uh, you know, a patent attorney, right?
00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:19.279
Because I, as a strategist, I know a lot of things about a lot of things, but I also know where my limits are.
00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:27.119
So from so it it does sound a little bit like I'm a little bit of a consultant, a little bit of a coach, a little bit of a of a guru, a little bit of an educator.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:37.200
Um, but as a strategist, what I do is now once I know their personal vision, then all roads will lead to that personal vision.
00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:43.359
And that's probably the biggest reason why I'm so focused on Christ.
00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:45.119
Um it was a wonderful book.
00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:53.119
I'm I'm gonna blank on the name, but it was uh written by um, or it was a book called Visioneering, and it's an older book, it was written in 1999.
00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:57.039
And the the the guy's name will come under me in a second.
00:25:57.119 --> 00:26:12.720
But but he really recognized the the importance of having a vision, but having a vision that is God ordained, not just, you know, well, you know, if I had a vision, we'd all, you know, you you might not you might live like a rap star, right?
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:13.759
Which is not great, right?
00:26:13.839 --> 00:26:17.599
And may not necessarily want to be, you know, something that would be Christ-like.
00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:22.160
But when you have a God-ordained vision, this is something that just doesn't go away.
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:30.400
And I think that when you have that, when I when I recognize people and what I refer to as the Viper methodology, the V for Viper is vision.
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:34.640
And and it starts with personal vision first, business vision second.
00:26:34.799 --> 00:26:40.559
And because if you only ever create a business vision, then all you're ever going to do is work toward the business.
00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:48.319
And I'm just letting you know, like when you when you create a business vision without ever creating a personal vision, you end up creating a life that exists to serve the business.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:56.720
And and and that's where you start to get people who, you know, they they they say they have faith, but man, you see their business dealings and you're like, really?
00:26:57.039 --> 00:27:02.240
Like, stop saying you have faith and stop saying you're a Christian because you're making the rest of us look bad, you know.
00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:13.920
I mean, I'm saying that somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but my goodness, like it that that's that's why I would say, you know, create that personal vision, but create that get that personal vision in coordination with God.
00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:14.880
Yeah.
00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:26.000
So when it comes to and if I read up a little bit on the the Viper framework thing, um, you you talk about structure as a spiritual discipline.
00:27:26.319 --> 00:27:27.599
Is that correct?
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:29.519
So yeah, right, yeah.
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:32.240
So there's So how do the systems create space?
00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:32.640
Yeah.
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:33.039
Right.
00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:34.400
So there's vision and then infrastructure.
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:40.000
So the Viper methodology, just the acronym is vision, infrastructure, process, execution, and reporting.
00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:44.559
Yeah, and do you you see that as a spiritual discipline?
00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:47.599
That's a great question.
00:27:47.759 --> 00:27:49.599
I don't know that I've ever been asked that.
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:54.079
Um I certainly think the vision part is.
00:27:54.559 --> 00:28:00.640
I think I certainly think the vision piece of that is um, so for me.
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:01.440
Yeah, go ahead.
00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:07.519
For for me, I had to put a system in place for my spiritual disciplines.
00:28:08.079 --> 00:28:19.039
When I wake up in the morning, I had to create a system like I go do this, I make my coffee, I sit down at I put my Bible on the table before I go to bed at night.
00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:25.119
I make my coffee, I sit down at the table, so I know the first thing that I do is read my Bible.
00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:27.839
I've been doing it for five years now.
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:33.440
But I had to create that system that I call a spiritual discipline.
00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:40.799
So I guess what I'm asking, you know, that's why I'm asking if like your framework is like a spiritual discipline.
00:28:41.119 --> 00:28:52.559
And how you know, this do you create systems to help people reach the the goal, you know, the battle plan, or there's systems in place that help businesses with that.
00:28:53.599 --> 00:29:00.720
Yeah, you know, there's there were two books that was written by um uh David Stewart.
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:08.640
Um he is a um he's a I think he's the richest uh black man in the United States.
00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:11.759
Um and he's written two different books, and he is a billionaire, right?
00:29:11.839 --> 00:29:13.599
Like like a like a legit billionaire.
00:29:13.839 --> 00:29:18.799
And um he is man, uh the books that he wrote were just so phenomenal.
00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:28.880
And uh his his most uh popular book or his first book was Doing Business by the Good Book, and it was 52 disciplines.
00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:47.039
And um the book, um, in fact, I just got done reading The Leadership by the Good Book, which was really spoke to the discipline that he brought that that he brings to the table and in these different spiritual disciplines.
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:53.519
And it's interesting because like right now Charlie Kirk is a big it's a big hot button thing for Christians.
00:29:53.839 --> 00:30:03.839
And it was interesting because what Charlie what people don't know about Charlie Kirk is he ran a you know, I mean he created a hundred million dollar organization.
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:04.640
Right?
00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:07.119
I mean I think it I think that's the numbers on that, right?
00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:09.519
But no one really talks about that.
00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:15.359
And the reason why is because like he didn't make business and bring God into it.
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.720
He had God in his life and brought business into that.
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:22.480
He brought everything right into his relationship with God.
00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:26.400
That's what that was was first, second, and third in his life, right?
00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:34.799
And it was interesting because like I and I I didn't necessarily appreciate his approach um and certainly didn't agree with everything he said.
00:30:35.039 --> 00:30:38.799
Um, but but you you you gotta admire him for his faith.
00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:44.400
And I think that when you have that as your structure, like that becomes the default.
00:30:44.880 --> 00:30:49.839
Um, I like, you know, in in in my world, I would call that habit stacking, right?
00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:52.799
Or you're inserting basically a link into a habit chain, right?
00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:55.680
So you you know you're gonna get up in the morning, God willing.
00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:59.359
And if you get up, your feet hit the floor, the Bible's in front of you, right?
00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:04.720
It's no different than you know, if you were going to do that and then you you're gonna go running, right?
00:31:04.799 --> 00:31:07.119
So you put the Bible on top of your running shoes, right?
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:08.400
Like something along those lines.
00:31:08.559 --> 00:31:19.759
But that's so for me, that the spiritual discipline, I I don't I think the vision piece for me is probably that that first link in the chain for the habit stack.
00:31:19.839 --> 00:31:31.039
Because for me, the first thing that I do, I get up in the morning I and I leave pretty early and I come to the office, and that's the time that I spend in prayer and reflection and reading the Bible.
00:31:31.119 --> 00:31:38.960
And then wherever I open the Bible to that particular day right now, um I um I think I left off in Mark, ironically enough.
00:31:39.119 --> 00:31:41.599
But I was reading um no, it was a John.
00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:42.160
Sorry.
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:45.200
So I was reading in John and Mark's a great book, though.
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:46.400
Oh, it's wonderful.
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:47.279
And that was the thing.
00:31:47.359 --> 00:31:57.359
I I I and um reading right now, I think it was John 6, and again, it please it don't don't don't tell me I was wrong.
00:31:57.440 --> 00:31:58.559
Yeah, like don't send me emails.
00:31:58.960 --> 00:31:59.680
Don't worry, don't worry.
00:31:59.839 --> 00:31:59.920
Right?
00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:01.200
But I'm the same.
00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:04.400
Uh I've been reading the Bible a long time, but I don't have a great memory.
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:16.240
So yeah, but it was so wonderful because I was reading that, and it was interesting that I got caught up in that God doesn't God doesn't judge, he leaves judgment to the sun.
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:20.720
And it's said it twice in John 6, and I was like, how did I miss this?
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:21.200
Right?
00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:22.240
How did I miss this?
00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:25.440
I've read this a number of times, but how did I miss this piece?
00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:27.680
Well, I was ready to see it, right?
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:36.559
So it it's just kind of interesting how these things come along, but I do this in the morning when I'm the sharpest, it's my best energy of the day, and I know that I'm gonna get it done.
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:44.000
And I wait for my coffee to brew in the office, and you know, and as soon as it's done, I spent I'm not dogmatic about it.
00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:47.519
I mean, I spend as much time as I feel I'm ready for.
00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:50.880
Sometimes it's just for a few minutes and sometimes it's longer.
00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:57.839
Um, and then I spend some time in prayer as best as I can do, and uh, and then I start my day.
00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:59.839
And I feel like that foundation has been good for me.
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:02.319
So, but for me, that's part of my personal vision.
00:33:02.559 --> 00:33:07.680
And um, I remember a time where I would be embarrassed to be seen walking around and carrying a Bible.
00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:11.759
Now I have no reason to be, I have no reason to be ashamed.
00:33:11.839 --> 00:33:16.240
I have no reason to be embarrassed, I have no fear of ridicule because I know my faith.
00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:26.799
Yeah, I you so I you talked a lot on your uh profile, I saw where you talked a lot about the the hustle culture, you know, the daily grind.
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:29.839
You know, yeah, people get burned out easy.
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:32.960
I myself, I'm a little bit of a go-getter.
00:33:33.039 --> 00:33:39.440
When I started this podcast, I I found myself every day diving into content, trying to figure out how to start it.
00:33:39.599 --> 00:33:59.359
And once I got started, like I have to, again, this is discipline, I have to put disciplines in place so I'm not spending all my time doing this outside of my job because I also have a ministry, I have a family, I have grandkids and kids to, you know, mentor.
00:33:59.440 --> 00:34:09.519
And how does how does a person most business people are pretty high-driven people, you know, they're the A-type, they're go-getters.
00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:24.400
How do you teach people to not get too busy with reaching the vision while you know staying connected and not overdoing it?
00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:28.800
Yeah, it's a it's a great question, and that's that's the question, right?
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:51.199
Because as Americans, we feel like, you know, we're taught to fill our calendars as much as we possibly can, and you're you're shuffling kids from you know, school to dance practice to soccer practice to baseball practice, and you know, you're running between three different games with, you know, four different kids, and and it's that's that's that's hurry culture, that's hustle culture, right?
00:34:51.519 --> 00:35:04.960
And I feel that when you're really clear about your relationships, because I I I think that we often forget that God wants us to be together and wants us to have relationships.
00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:11.199
And this is where this is where there's that confusion of now versus next.
00:35:11.599 --> 00:35:18.079
I think the devil dangles next in front of us all the time and never allows us to focus on now.
00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:25.280
So when you stop and think about it, uh it was there was a um a book, I I can't remember the name of it.
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:30.159
Um the book uh The Life You've Always Wanted, I think, is what it's called by John John Orton, maybe.
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:31.840
Um hilarious.
00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:34.000
The dude's hilarious.
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:38.880
Because the funny thing was he was he's just so authentic in his faith.
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:49.760
And he recognized that the opposite of you know what what destroys love isn't hate.
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:53.280
What destroys love is hurry.
00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:57.119
Hurry is the is what destroys love, right?
00:35:57.199 --> 00:35:59.599
Like love takes time.
00:35:59.920 --> 00:36:02.400
Love takes time to develop and nurture.
00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:07.920
You can't rush growing a rose, you can't rush growing crops, right?
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.719
This takes effort and love and time.
00:36:11.199 --> 00:36:18.000
And when you're trying to grow a relationship, you can't do that when you're always running from one thing to the next.
00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:28.559
Now, for some people it works, but I'm saying that that when those storms come, like they came in our life and we were under full attack, we didn't need more hustle.
00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:31.039
We needed, we didn't need more hurry.
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:32.239
We needed to slow down.
00:36:32.320 --> 00:36:44.800
We needed to pull in all the plants and get the cats inside and close the windows, and you know, like we were in a storm, and we're outside in the you know, in the lawn looking at the at the funnel cloud forming, right?
00:36:44.880 --> 00:36:46.639
Like that's not what you do.
00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:49.679
You need to get in and gather and huddle.
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:59.519
And that's what we did is we slowed down and recognized that, okay, yeah, you can do that for a stretch, but you also need to slow down and for a stretch.
00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:02.000
And you this is why the Sabbath was so important.
00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:09.280
And and I and I'll be honest with you, I don't, I'm not, I don't practice the Sabbath probably the perfect way, right?
00:37:09.360 --> 00:37:13.679
But I always try to make time, you know, for our Sundays where I don't spend time in work.
00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:15.519
And and I and I'm a pensive kind of guy.
00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:22.320
Like for me, I enjoy sitting and thinking and writing and you know, and and that that's something that that is relaxing to me.
00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:24.800
That's that's that's good for my brain, right?
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:29.840
Um, you know, I read about a book every six, five to six days, right?
00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:36.559
So sometimes some they're a little bit slower, slower, but you know, but I love doing that and I love going back through this, those sorts of things.
00:37:36.639 --> 00:37:40.639
But again, when there's times where I just need to slow down, sometimes I just sit.
00:37:41.199 --> 00:37:49.679
And and right now, which it's so fun with our kid, you know, with with our kids, you know, the 20-year-old right now, he's kind of out doing his own thing right now.
00:37:49.840 --> 00:38:00.880
Um, you know, but our 17-year-old, our three-year-old, just seeing the bond develop between them because we take time, because we were allowing that to develop, I think that is because I'm so vision focused.
00:38:01.119 --> 00:38:05.440
Because I know I have a vision for what I want my life to look like.
00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:08.800
I have a vision for what I want my marriage to look like.
00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:12.320
I have a vision, which, which by the way, I've shared with my wife.
00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:16.559
And when we were sharing with one another, hey, I really need this from you.
00:38:16.719 --> 00:38:19.280
And she would say, Hey, I really need this from you.
00:38:19.360 --> 00:38:22.000
And I'm like, Okay, I can do that, right?
00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:33.519
And when, and when there was violations, because we're always gonna mess up in some ways, we can instantly go back to grace and try to afford some grace and say, okay, we're gonna make mistakes.
00:38:33.599 --> 00:38:34.880
Can we, can we get to grace?
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:36.239
Can we get back to grace, right?
00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:38.320
Can we repent and move back forward?
00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:47.119
I'm I I use that word repent because again, it's like, hey, let's let's pretend, let's, let's not pretend it didn't happen, but let's move forward from it, right?
00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:49.039
Let's not dwell on the past, right?
00:38:49.119 --> 00:38:51.039
Because the ego dwells on the past, right?
00:38:51.119 --> 00:38:53.199
And that's where that's where we get stuck.
00:38:53.440 --> 00:39:08.159
So I think that the to answer your question is I think when you're vision focused and you're focused on what you want your relationship with your wife to look like, with your kids to look like, with you know, um, with with God, what do you want your relationship with God to look like?
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:23.039
You know, and you can start to prey on those sorts of things, I think that's when you really start to recognize that that one more email or that one more thing that you're going to do isn't really in alignment with your vision because the work's always going to be there.
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:24.000
Yeah.
00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:31.119
So how do how do you teach business Christian entrepreneurs this practically?
00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:40.639
You know, because I'm a I'm a guy on a podcast who talks a lot and I expect people to listen.
00:39:40.800 --> 00:39:44.800
And you know, if they listen, they'll they'll see a change, they'll see a difference.
00:39:45.039 --> 00:39:52.159
But when I work one-on-one with someone, which I don't do a whole lot, but I have people in my church that I disciple.
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:58.320
When I sit down with them and have a coffee, and then it's you know, they want to get in shape.
00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:03.360
I say, hey, let's go running Saturday morning, meet me at seven o'clock.
00:40:03.599 --> 00:40:05.360
That's a practical step.
00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:07.280
Then they start seeing the change.
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:17.519
So how how do you teach Christian entrepreneurs how to avoid business busyness and you know to stay focused on their vision without overdoing it?
00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:19.039
Well, let me ask you.
00:40:19.280 --> 00:40:24.880
Let's say a man comes to you and he's 300 pounds overweight.
00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:27.760
Would you ask him to go running on Saturday morning?
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:28.639
No.
00:40:29.039 --> 00:40:29.360
Okay.
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:31.679
You would meet him where he's at, right?
00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:32.400
Right.
00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:32.880
Right?
00:40:33.039 --> 00:40:36.079
Hey, why don't you and me, why don't we go for a walk Saturday morning?
00:40:36.320 --> 00:40:36.559
Right?
00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:37.199
Exactly.
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:37.760
Right?
00:40:37.920 --> 00:40:39.199
You meet him where he's at.
00:40:39.519 --> 00:40:46.639
So for me to come in and start, again, punching him in the mouth with Jesus isn't gonna work, right?
00:40:46.719 --> 00:40:48.159
You gotta meet him where they're at.
00:40:48.400 --> 00:40:54.880
So a lot of times, usually the first, you know, handful of sessions, I'm getting to know them.
00:40:55.039 --> 00:40:58.480
And and the thing is, like, I have to get them to trust me.
00:40:58.719 --> 00:41:05.199
And and I need to be able to trust them a little bit because I share a lot of stuff with with them about my personal life.
00:41:05.360 --> 00:41:21.039
Um, and some of it's, you know, intimate details that I don't necessarily want the world to know, but you know, certain things that I'll share with them because it is important that they understand, hey, I'm in this, I'm in this with you, that I don't have it all figured out either, but I'm doing the best I can.
00:41:21.119 --> 00:41:28.079
And maybe I'm 17% of the way in and you're 3%, and I might be able to at least guide you, right?
00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:37.119
So I certainly can't say that I'm 100% on anything in life, but that, you know, I'm at least further along in some areas, you know, and for for some people.
00:41:37.199 --> 00:41:38.880
And they're ahead of me in other areas, right?
00:41:38.960 --> 00:41:42.719
So they teach me, which is also why I really enjoy the work that I do.
00:41:42.880 --> 00:42:08.480
But you but meeting them where they're at first and foremost, if they're coming to me because they're their businesses dying on the vine because they don't have, they don't know, they don't know how to operate efficiently, or they don't have they have a lead generation problem, or they have a marketing problem or an advertising problem, or they've got a personnel problem because their core values are so messed up, you know, or they've got an accounting issue, like those are the four core functions of business: lead generation, sales, operations, accounting.
00:42:08.719 --> 00:42:16.559
I know that I can go to them and and and with a lot of tools in my toolbox, help them in all four of those areas.
00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:24.159
Any generally anything that they bring to me, with with few exceptions, I can I can help them.
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:44.480
But when and and it's really kind of hard, it's like think it's like the metaphorical, like, hey, we're you know, you and I are on a on a ship going across the Pacific Ocean and it gets hit with a torpedo, and you know, everybody's trying to push mattresses up against the right and to keep the water out and everything else.
00:42:44.559 --> 00:42:49.679
And uh, you know, and then you know, and I run up to you and say, Hey Mark, you know, we're out of lettuce.
00:42:51.039 --> 00:42:51.920
Okay, right?
00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:56.159
Like, it's like getting shot in the chest and like, hey Mark, have you eaten enough broccoli today?
00:42:56.320 --> 00:42:58.559
Like, pretty sure that's not gonna matter right now, right?
00:42:58.639 --> 00:42:58.719
Yeah.
00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:00.559
So you have to meet them where they're at.
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:07.039
So I think that's probably one of the best things that I do, but I also know when to seed.
00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:09.440
And I will seed certain things.
00:43:09.519 --> 00:43:11.920
And I have a really good memory for conversations.
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:22.239
So I will know like when I've seeded certain things, and and I also take notes too, but that way I know, like, hey, I've seeded this or I've talked about this before.
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:26.880
And sometimes when I bring it back around and say, hey, I know I've talked about this, or I know I mentioned it in the past.
00:43:27.039 --> 00:43:30.000
Maybe we need to have a long little bit longer conversation about this now.
00:43:30.320 --> 00:43:32.079
Because now they've had time to ruminate on it.
00:43:32.159 --> 00:43:34.239
Now they're like, now they're ready for it.
00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:41.440
And that could be anything, like it could be if I know that they've got a lead gen problem, but right now there's someone they need to let go, right?
00:43:41.519 --> 00:43:42.960
Because they're so toxic, right?
00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:46.239
So, you know, it's it's all those different aspects of a life.
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:48.880
But I always try to do that, you know, on things that they're ready for.
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:56.559
And there's just certain people that they're not ready for the religious conversation, and that's okay, you know, but they know my faith and they know when they're ready to have that conversation.
00:43:56.719 --> 00:44:05.920
Um, you know, I I've since Learned, and this was I the in the the visioneering book, and the Andy Stanley, I think is the name, the guy's name, the the author.
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:19.280
Um, but in visioneering, he starts talking about, you know, God, please give me the opportunity to pray for them, you know, and give me the opportunity to pray with them.
00:44:19.519 --> 00:44:24.639
And and and God give me the opportunity to have the conversations with them when they're ready.
00:44:24.880 --> 00:44:32.079
And I think that's where we need to be ready to have those conversations, but do it in a way that's not holding people's heads underwater, right?
00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:34.800
That's you know, it's sales 101, right?
00:44:34.880 --> 00:44:39.199
It's not like punching people in the mouth until they're holding their head underwater until they say yes.
00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:44.800
It's meeting them where they're at and saying, well, tell me what, tell me what your relationship with faith is like right now.
00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:50.559
And when they can have that conversation, you're like, okay, yeah, I'm I'm I'm open to I'm I'm open to it, right?
00:44:50.719 --> 00:44:53.679
And then and then you invite them and say, hey, look, I'm I'm happy to pray with you.
00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:56.880
I'm happy to doesn't have to be weird, doesn't that be anything like that?
00:44:57.039 --> 00:44:59.039
And this is the interesting thing.
00:44:59.679 --> 00:45:03.920
So I'm a Marine, okay, and I'm on my best behavior here, right?
00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:06.400
And I have sometimes have a pretty loose tongue, okay?
00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:09.519
Not on not on per on per I mean, I do it on purpose.
00:45:09.599 --> 00:45:14.559
I guess that's just kind of the way I think, but I'm doing my best because my wife's like, hey, we really need to kind of clean up our language.
00:45:14.639 --> 00:45:16.800
I'm like, okay, I'm doing my best, right?
00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:28.880
But this was the interesting thing, and this is this was what was really interesting when my my my really, really good friend, her name's Robin, she is undeniable in her faith.
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:43.280
I mean, she talk about a person that wears it on her sleeve, and she is, you know, I I was really struggling with this, you know, getting baptized and and like this this whole, you know, going down this other this path of evangelical type faith.
00:45:43.440 --> 00:45:46.159
And I was like, I just, I don't know, I'm really struggling with this.
00:45:46.239 --> 00:45:56.159
You know, I feel like, you know, most of the I see a lot of these Christian men, they talk real softly and they wear sweater vests and they, you know, they're always on their best behavior.
00:45:56.239 --> 00:45:58.000
And I'm like, I'm not that.
00:45:58.079 --> 00:45:59.920
I like I'm not that at all.
00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:02.079
I would be so inauthentic.
00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:04.239
People would wonder if I had a seizure, right?
00:46:04.719 --> 00:46:08.400
So, and she said something to me that I never ever forgot.
00:46:08.639 --> 00:46:11.199
And she says, Don't you understand?
00:46:11.599 --> 00:46:12.880
God made you this way.
00:46:13.039 --> 00:46:14.320
Like God made you the way you are.
00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:18.880
Yeah, probably you could probably drop a few less, you know, inflammatory words.
00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:22.800
But the thing is, you can reach someone that I would never be able to reach.
00:46:23.039 --> 00:46:23.599
Absolutely.
00:46:23.840 --> 00:46:26.239
And I would be able to reach someone that you would never be able to reach.
00:46:26.400 --> 00:46:27.920
That's why God needs both of us.
00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:29.920
And I'm getting goosebumps thinking about that.
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:35.199
Because I was like, oh my, like, oh, I can do that.
00:46:35.679 --> 00:46:38.000
I can absolutely do that, right?
00:46:38.239 --> 00:46:40.079
No, do it in a respectful way.
00:46:40.239 --> 00:46:46.000
No, don't, you know, don't you don't need to have that kind of language when you're when you're praising God, you know, in the same sentence.
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:53.039
But I'm saying, like, these are the sorts of things that I can do, and I can do it and talk about my my faith authentically.
00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:59.760
And I'm not always gonna get it right, but I can at least speak about my my faith authentically and say, look, I struggle too.
00:46:59.920 --> 00:47:01.840
The way you sin and the way I sin is no different.
00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:04.480
Like the way I sin isn't any better than the way you sin, right?
00:47:04.559 --> 00:47:04.719
Right.
00:47:04.880 --> 00:47:06.800
So let's let's have a conversation and see how we can do that.
00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:14.400
So meeting them where they're at, I think, to answer your question is probably the best thing that I've learned how to do and do it without feeling letting them feel judged.
00:47:14.719 --> 00:47:16.639
Yeah, that that's a great answer.
00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:30.320
I I totally uh align with that, you know, the men part of what we're doing on this podcast here, and there's many other Christian podcasts for men trying to get men to step up.
00:47:30.559 --> 00:47:45.039
Uh a person I would recommend that you listen to, and you'll see how uh a Christian man is a little different than your normal soft person talking and sweater vest person is Joby Martin.
00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:48.480
I don't know if you've heard of him, but he's he's he's very popular online.
00:47:48.880 --> 00:47:49.519
What's his name?
00:47:49.840 --> 00:47:50.800
Joby Martin.
00:47:51.119 --> 00:47:51.760
Joby Martin?
00:47:51.840 --> 00:47:52.480
I have not heard him.
00:47:52.639 --> 00:47:53.920
Yeah, yeah, you should look him up.
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:56.239
He's a he's a great, great man of God.
00:47:56.400 --> 00:47:56.639
Yeah.
00:47:57.039 --> 00:48:06.000
We're starting to bump up a time, I'll bump up against time a little bit, and I want to have people, you know, know where they can reach out to you if they're interested in working with you.
00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:10.639
But before we do that, there's a question that I ask every man that comes on the podcast.
00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:11.199
Yeah.
00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:12.719
It's David.
00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:16.960
I know you said you've read the Bible through, but you know, it's hard to memorize it all.
00:48:17.119 --> 00:48:17.280
Yeah.
00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:17.599
Yeah.
00:48:17.840 --> 00:48:24.480
David, after he slew Goliath, Saul got jealous and was trying to kill him.
00:48:24.639 --> 00:48:26.960
So David ran to the cave of Adulum.
00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:33.039
While he was in that cave, men came to him, disgruntled, disheartened, discouraged.
00:48:33.679 --> 00:48:40.000
Those men, eventually, through David's leadership and being around David, became David's mighty men.
00:48:40.079 --> 00:48:45.440
When David started becoming king, taking over the kingdom, they were David's mighty men.
00:48:45.840 --> 00:48:49.360
So somehow he inspired them, said something to them.
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:58.719
Modern day, you have a group of men in front of you, disheartened, discouraged, disgruntled, looking for leadership, direction, inspiration.
00:48:58.960 --> 00:49:00.320
What would you say to them?
00:49:17.280 --> 00:49:18.400
Set aside your ego.
00:49:20.159 --> 00:49:21.519
Set aside your ego.
00:49:22.320 --> 00:49:23.760
And see God and everything you do.
00:49:25.760 --> 00:49:26.159
Amen.
00:49:27.599 --> 00:49:28.400
Awesome.
00:49:29.519 --> 00:49:30.719
Straight to the point.
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:31.840
I love it.
00:49:32.719 --> 00:49:35.280
So where can uh people connect with you?
00:49:36.480 --> 00:49:39.599
And you know, reach out to you if they want to with you.
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.719
Yeah, if they're if they're interested in just having a you know connection, I'm I'm pretty open on social media.
00:49:45.119 --> 00:49:46.239
Please not LinkedIn.
00:49:46.400 --> 00:49:52.320
I get so many people trying to sell me in like health insurance.
00:49:52.480 --> 00:49:54.880
Like, I'm a pretty healthy young guy still.
00:49:55.039 --> 00:49:58.800
Like, I don't know that I need as much health insurance as I'm trying to be sold.
00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:01.119
Oh my gosh, like that and dental insurance.
00:50:01.199 --> 00:50:02.400
Like, am I teeth that bad?
00:50:02.480 --> 00:50:10.639
I don't think they're that bad, but um anyway, no, um, but any of the social medias like Instagram or Facebook, you're welcome to reach out to me.
00:50:10.719 --> 00:50:15.440
And I'm and I'll have conversations with with anybody, um, especially if they're struggling.
00:50:15.599 --> 00:50:31.920
I I again I I I am getting it's interesting the the number of people that God are starting to bring into my life, and I and I do have to start recognizing like you know, the um, you know, the number of people that are coming in.
00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:47.039
And and when you start, I think it was a conversation and maybe in acts where you know the the the the 12 or like waiting tables or something along those lines, I was like, oh, they started they started delegating because they recognized you know that their what their true gifts are.
00:50:47.199 --> 00:50:54.079
And I'm always oh I'm I hope I don't ever get so busy that I can't ever at least have a conversation with someone, even if it's just on Messenger.
00:50:54.159 --> 00:51:02.159
But um, if you are in interested in a bit from a business context, uh interested in working, probably strategicboardroom.com is the best way to reach out.
00:51:02.239 --> 00:51:08.079
Um but again on the social media, Facebook, Instagram, um, those are probably the two best mediums to reach out to me.
00:51:08.159 --> 00:51:10.639
And and I and I answer every message.
00:51:10.880 --> 00:51:13.199
So um, you know, I I do my very best.
00:51:13.519 --> 00:51:21.920
I sometimes I miss them because they come in, there's a lot that come in, but I always do my very best to reach out and you know, and I'll give and I'll always do my best to pour into folks.
00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:29.199
But um, but yeah, and I I don't I I again from that perspective, uh, I will do that until I until I can't.
00:51:29.360 --> 00:51:41.679
Because for me, I think that making someone feel that and remind them how important they are, that's part of my core values of one of one of the core values of strategic boardroom is creating legends.
00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:45.360
And I never want anybody to ever feel I know what it's like to feel slighted.
00:51:45.599 --> 00:51:57.679
And um, and sometimes I'm sure I do that unintentionally, but um the I uh but I but I always would I I always try to give grace and uh I would always ask for grace if I don't always get it right.
00:51:57.760 --> 00:51:59.519
So if I don't message back, message me again.
00:51:59.679 --> 00:52:01.840
Say hey man, what the heck?
00:52:02.559 --> 00:52:04.159
But uh that's probably the best way.
00:52:04.480 --> 00:52:05.280
Awesome, Mark.
00:52:05.360 --> 00:52:07.119
Thank you very much for coming on.
00:52:07.440 --> 00:52:12.320
If you ever want to come on again, you got something you want to share to men, just let me know.
00:52:12.880 --> 00:52:21.199
Yeah, I I I I think uh as my faith grows, if you had asked me this a year ago, I don't know that I would recognize the same person.
00:52:21.280 --> 00:52:28.800
So maybe check back with me in six, eight months and we'll uh and I'll be on the on the uh you know right now we're living with a three-year-old terrorist.
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:33.840
So she is uh we're seeing we're having a lot of God conversations right now.
00:52:33.920 --> 00:52:36.239
Um so it's lots of prayers, that's for sure.
00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:36.960
Yeah.
00:52:37.199 --> 00:52:37.519
Yeah.
00:52:37.760 --> 00:52:38.239
Awesome.
00:52:38.400 --> 00:52:39.519
Thank you very much for coming on.
00:52:39.599 --> 00:52:40.000
God bless you.
00:52:40.800 --> 00:52:41.599
God bless.
00:52:41.920 --> 00:52:42.480
All right.
00:52:43.599 --> 00:52:45.679
Wasn't that a great conversation?
00:52:45.920 --> 00:52:53.280
If there's one thing I want you to take from this story, it's this God doesn't wait for you to be cleaned up before he starts rebuilding you.
00:52:53.599 --> 00:52:57.280
He meets you right where you are, even if that's your office floor.
00:52:57.440 --> 00:53:01.840
And that's exactly what we're gonna be talking about this next Valiant Monday.
00:53:02.159 --> 00:53:03.199
Transformation.
00:53:03.440 --> 00:53:12.639
Not the polished version that we like to post online, but the kind that starts in the dark, in the quiet, in the places we don't want anyone else to see.
00:53:12.880 --> 00:53:16.000
If this episode struck a chord with you, do me a favor.
00:53:16.480 --> 00:53:17.440
Subscribe.
00:53:18.880 --> 00:53:21.760
Subscribe, share it with another man who could use it.
00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:26.000
And please go on Apple and leave me a review.
00:53:26.559 --> 00:53:28.639
It helps more than you can imagine.
00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:38.559
And if you're looking for brothers to walk this out with, not just content, I have created a community on the school platform called the Cave of Adulum.
00:53:38.719 --> 00:53:45.920
And if you've listened to the podcast long enough, you know that's kind of my uh theme question that I ask every man.
00:53:46.800 --> 00:53:48.719
Come meet me in the Cave of Adulum.
00:53:48.880 --> 00:53:50.159
Let's become mighty men together.
00:53:50.320 --> 00:54:01.440
There is a link in the show notes for that, and there will also be a link for my YouTube channel if you're only following on audio once in a while.
00:54:01.519 --> 00:54:06.960
I'll do stuff on YouTube that I won't be doing on the audio the podcast platform.
00:54:07.119 --> 00:54:13.199
So click the link, and there's also going to be links for to connect with Mark below.
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So stay strong, stay valiant, keep forging your path, and be blessed.