A Conversation with Marc Anderson About The Mental Game of Recruiting: Confidence, Resilience & Performing Under Pressure

WEBVTT
00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:32.960
Welcome back to Recruitable, the podcast where we give parents real, actionable tips based on current and timeless realities around athletic recruitment.
00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:38.799
And introduce them to professionals who can genuinely improve your child's experience from the recruitment perspective.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:43.039
I am Donald Robinson, one of your hosts, and today I'm genuinely excited.
00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:45.280
And I mean I'm not just podcast excited.
00:00:45.359 --> 00:00:51.200
I'm genuinely excited because today's guest has impacted my family in a direct and meaningful way.
00:00:51.359 --> 00:00:52.640
And his name is Mark Anderson.
00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:55.520
And before I go further, Mark, welcome to Recruitable.
00:00:55.759 --> 00:00:56.240
Thank you, Don.
00:00:56.320 --> 00:00:58.960
I'm excited about being on today's podcast.
00:00:59.280 --> 00:00:59.920
Awesome.
00:01:00.159 --> 00:01:05.439
Now, for our listeners who are meeting you for the first time, let me set the table about who you are.
00:01:05.680 --> 00:01:14.799
So Mark is a seasoned professional with 35 years of experience as a clinical, licensed clinical social worker, and a certified mental game coach.
00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:18.560
He's a former college athlete himself and an experienced coach.
00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:23.599
So he doesn't just understand the mental side of performance from a textbook perspective, he actually lived it.
00:01:23.760 --> 00:01:37.120
His work has impacted thousands of athletes across a remarkable range of sports, including swimming, diving, golf, baseball, basketball, football, softball, volleyball, gymnastics, figure skating, tennis, lacrosse, chiller.
00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:38.400
You get the picture.
00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:41.840
Anything that you can do in athletics, Mark has worked with them.
00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:46.239
So he doesn't just understand the mental side of performance from a textbook perspective.
00:01:46.480 --> 00:01:47.359
He lived it.
00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:50.560
And so and he worked with kids who are currently doing it.
00:01:50.959 --> 00:01:59.840
His approach is athlete-centered, meaning he meets each young person where they are and builds a strategy, strategies tailored specifically to them.
00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:14.080
He's also an accomplished speaker and facilitator covering topics like confidence in youth sports, the intersection of leadership and sports performance, and the critically important issue of substance abuse used among student athletes.
00:02:14.319 --> 00:02:23.759
He's appeared at various conferences, national conferences, uh talked as a presenter at school districts, and even uh participated on WGN Sports Radio.
00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:28.719
Mark, that's an extraordinary body of work, and I mean that, and I'm honored to have you on the show today.
00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:29.759
I'm excited.
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:37.439
Now I want to be transparent uh with the listeners uh today um why I was motivated to uh have you on the show.
00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:40.479
It's because you've been a real help to our family.
00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:42.639
Like you really helped Daniel in a big way.
00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:52.800
And if any one of you out there have followed the podcast for any length of time, you know that Daniel's recruitment journey had had some real ups and downs and some real challenges.
00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:56.800
And the mental side of competing was a significant piece of the puzzle for Daniel.
00:02:56.879 --> 00:03:05.840
And Mark worked with Daniel uh and the difference was visible in not just in his performance, but in how he carried himself on the field and off the field.
00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:14.319
And so when we talk today about the power of mental performance coaching, I'm not speaking through theoretically, I've seen it firsthand with my own son.
00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:20.960
But before we get into the what and the how of the work that you do, Mark, I love for our listeners to hear the why behind yours.
00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:27.840
Like, how did your interest in clinical social work develop and what eventually led you towards mental performance coaching specifically?
00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:30.240
Uh that's a great, great question.
00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:34.639
Um, you know, I had been a social worker for many, many, many years.
00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:43.280
Um and particularly from the the public sector uh and private sector, uh, worked into high school as a school social worker.
00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:48.879
I'm gonna open up my own private practice where I was also an associate with other clinicians.
00:03:49.120 --> 00:03:51.439
And I got to a point where I said, you know what?
00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:53.680
If I could do something else, what would it be?
00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:56.159
And I thought about being a sports psychologist.
00:03:56.479 --> 00:04:03.840
Um and I searched high and l you know, wide for schools that provided, you know, a doctorate in sports psychology.
00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:11.759
And I was surprised that all of our boarding estates, including the state of Illinois, doesn't have a doctorate in sports psychology.
00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:12.879
Okay.
00:04:13.039 --> 00:04:21.199
And I was like, we got some of the top schools in the country here in the Midwest, and nobody has a doctorate in sports psychology.
00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:23.439
Uh and I was just frustrated with that.
00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:33.439
And you know, I was at a t time in my life where, you know, I got kids, I'm married, and and you know, trying to go back to school and go out of state, that just really wasn't the plan.
00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:40.800
So went to the internet uh and found a sports psychologist uh who continues to be a mentor to me, Dr.
00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:49.360
Patrick Cohen out of Orlando, who trained at trained coaches on the mental perspective of being a mental performance coach.
00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:58.879
Uh and his philosophy was that he's going to, as a sports psychologist, train you on how to help athletes gain that mental edge by learning the mental skills.
00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:06.639
He said, you can always go back to the academic and get the academic aspect, but I'm going to teach you the secrets behind mental training.
00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:14.240
Um and I graduated top of his class, did a boot camp down in Orlando, you know, with him and with some of the top sports sports psychologists.
00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:25.360
And I was just in awe that I'm sitting at a table with some of the best of the best, people that I admired, people that who are still doing amazing things in sports psychology.
00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:29.920
And here I am, the babe on milk, sitting at the table, you know, with them.
00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:36.800
And, you know, now I still consult with some of them, sharing my story, what I'm still doing based on the training that I got from them.
00:05:36.879 --> 00:05:43.360
And they're just amazed that here was a kid who came on board, learned, and then took off, okay, with it.
00:05:43.519 --> 00:05:45.120
But also I had availability.
00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:49.279
Being working in the high school and being a coach, I had availability of athletes, okay.
00:05:49.439 --> 00:06:00.959
And that really helped me really polish my skills and through the ups and downs with anything that's a learning curve to really find a modality that says, this is who I am, and this is why I do it.
00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:05.120
You know, it was just another way for me to be a servant, to pay it back, to pay it forward.
00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:16.800
You know, I I learned a lot from being a collegiate athlete and a high school athlete, and I want to help others get to that next level, but also have a way to navigate it because the landscape has changed since we were both in college.
00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:22.639
And with NIL and everything else that's going on in sports, kids need to understand that it's a production business.
00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:25.519
If you don't produce, you're probably not gonna play.
00:06:25.759 --> 00:06:35.040
Okay, but there's other aspects of that, and part of that is the mental, not only from the sports perspective, but also how do you navigate the other parts of just life?
00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:38.480
You know, because you're on your own, mom and dad are not there.
00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:48.000
And mentally, you gotta be able to deal with those ups and downs and be able to stand on your own two feet, realizing that resiliency is your way to how you bounce back.
00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:50.399
When things don't go your way, how do you bounce back?
00:06:50.560 --> 00:07:05.360
Without that mental training, a lot of kids, you know, end up drowning, you know, and and drowning to be turning to drugs or alcohol, other ways to cope, or getting in bad relationships, or just, you know, dropping out of school.
00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:08.319
And I didn't want to see kids, you know, fall into some of those vices.
00:07:08.399 --> 00:07:13.120
So I want to equip them with tools that are gonna help them not only in sports, but also in life.
00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:15.680
Yeah, I appreciate you sharing that.
00:07:15.839 --> 00:07:32.240
And what I what I think about your work, especially when I think about what has happened with Daniel and him working with you, is that I I I can only, you know, you know, think that your clinical background has helped a lot with this mental certification that you now have.
00:07:32.399 --> 00:07:37.839
Like how much of that you think played a part in how successful you've been with connecting with kids around this subject matter?
00:07:38.160 --> 00:07:48.079
I think it's been very successful because again, having both hats, kids get the best of both worlds because they can come in for a session and not be in a performance mindset.
00:07:48.160 --> 00:08:02.560
And we can talk about what's going on in their lives, okay, and help them see the same skills I'm teaching you to be a performer on the field are the same skills you need to learn how to use off the field in regular life because of the skills we teach are really life skills.
00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:10.160
You know, how to boost your confidence, okay, how to focus or or be in the moment in certain situations, okay?
00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:18.160
How to let go of things that are energy, you know, debilitating, and that could be relationships, being involved in toxic relationships.
00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:20.240
All these are life skills, okay?
00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:27.680
And once they learn that it's you know it's helping you in life, then it's easy to transfer it over in sports because it's the habit that you do every day.
00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:30.399
Absolutely.
00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:44.240
So, Mark, when you when you first start working with a young athlete, uh what do you look for and what makes you believe an athlete has a significant development upside in terms of uh you know, in terms of their ability to to elevate their performance?
00:08:44.320 --> 00:08:46.879
What what do you what do you what do you what helps you determine that?
00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:49.919
Well, the first is their willingness to walk in the door.
00:08:50.080 --> 00:08:58.320
You know, it takes a lot of courage to say, I want to get better at something, and I don't have what I need right now, and I think you're somebody who can help me acquire that.
00:08:58.480 --> 00:08:58.720
Okay.
00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:00.240
So it's got to be a willingness.
00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:02.799
Now, willingness is the willingness to change, okay?
00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:05.279
Because you've been doing something for a period of time.
00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:08.720
If you think about Daniel, Daniel was 15, 16 years old when I met him.
00:09:08.879 --> 00:09:11.039
That's 16 years of thinking a certain way.
00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:11.440
Right.
00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:11.919
Okay.
00:09:12.320 --> 00:09:16.559
So I got to look at where he's at and go, okay, I can see the upside.
00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:27.759
Now the process is how I get him to see the change his mindset on how he looks at things, develop the habits so he sees the short-term and long-term progress of the outcomes he desires.
00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:30.399
And then he can now take it to that next level.
00:09:30.639 --> 00:09:41.759
So understanding that, that's how I get kids, you know, to understand I can see where you want to go, but we got to develop different habits for order for you to grow yourself to get there.
00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:42.159
Okay.
00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:44.960
And that's just I never go ahead.
00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:45.519
Go ahead.
00:09:45.600 --> 00:09:46.000
I'm sorry.
00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:46.399
I'm sorry.
00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:53.679
I was just thinking, I never thought about that in terms of the years of habits that you have to undo.
00:09:53.840 --> 00:09:55.679
You know, that's that can be significant.
00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:56.240
Yeah.
00:09:56.399 --> 00:09:57.679
And that's why it takes time.
00:09:57.759 --> 00:10:01.039
And I tell parents all the time, this is not a quick fix thing.
00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:04.080
The mental game's not a quick fix, it's a process.
00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:04.480
Okay.
00:10:04.799 --> 00:10:07.919
It takes time for that process to evolve.
00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:08.320
Okay.
00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:11.519
Your willingness to change expedites that process.
00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:14.559
If you're not willing to change, you're going to stay still stuck in the mug.
00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:21.519
And you're going to have a lot more disappointments because you still have old thinking and old ways of how you're doing things.
00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:22.799
Okay.
00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:26.480
That square peg still doesn't fit in that round hole.
00:10:27.120 --> 00:10:27.440
Okay.
00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:30.080
So we got to do some things different.
00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:31.519
And here are the things that you can do.
00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:34.799
So thinking about to say, here are the things that you can do.
00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:35.279
Right.
00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:39.279
So, yeah, well, it has me thinking about another question there.
00:10:39.360 --> 00:10:48.559
It's like on this podcast, we always talked about the gap between athletes who develop quickly and find their way in recruitment and those who seem to pl plateau.
00:10:48.799 --> 00:10:58.159
And so, from a mental performance standpoint, what would you say are the mental habits that separate athletes who are who improve rapidly from those who stay stagnant?
00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:01.360
One going back to their willingness to shift their mindset.
00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:07.519
You know, a lot of kids, to your point, are very talented at an early age and have a lot of success.
00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:08.000
Okay.
00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:11.919
And developmentally, they might have been stronger, faster.
00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:14.799
The kids maybe they matured a lot quicker.
00:11:14.879 --> 00:11:15.039
Okay.
00:11:15.279 --> 00:11:17.759
But as you get older, the playing ground levels off.
00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:18.240
Okay.
00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:20.320
And talent by itself is not going to be enough.
00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:23.600
And especially getting to that next level, everybody's got talent.
00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.240
And not only do they got talent, they got more talent than you do.
00:11:26.399 --> 00:11:26.720
Okay.
00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:30.399
So talent by itself won't be the game changer for you.
00:11:30.480 --> 00:11:38.559
There's going to have to be some other skills that you're going to need to acquire to help you gain an edge and compete with those kids at that next level.
00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:38.960
Okay.
00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:41.679
You're never going to be at that talent aspect.
00:11:41.840 --> 00:11:44.000
Again, the good Lord only gives us so many talents.
00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:46.480
But how we develop those talents, that's on us.
00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:46.960
Okay.
00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:47.440
Right.
00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:53.200
So I may not be the most talented athlete, but I had other skills that helped me play at a high level.
00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:55.360
And a lot of those skills were confidence.
00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:56.960
I never doubted myself.
00:11:57.039 --> 00:11:57.279
Okay.
00:11:57.679 --> 00:12:00.080
Other people doubted me because I was really small.
00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:00.399
Okay.
00:12:00.639 --> 00:12:06.080
I was really thin, you know, tiny, but I always played up because I was athletic.
00:12:06.159 --> 00:12:06.320
Okay.
00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:07.759
And I was always on better teams.
00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:11.919
I was one of the smallest kids, but I learned how to fight through stuff.
00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:16.399
Because you play with older kids, they're always pushing you down, bumping you, and things like that.
00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:19.360
And you just learned that, you know what, I'm not going to give up.
00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:19.840
Okay.
00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:22.960
And that resiliency, it's a skill.
00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:23.440
Okay.
00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:23.919
Yep.
00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:26.960
So when I face adversity, I'm like, I've been here before.
00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:27.360
Okay.
00:12:27.679 --> 00:12:30.080
And all the haters and doubters, I use this motivation.
00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:31.039
Please hate me.
00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:31.919
Please doubt me.
00:12:32.080 --> 00:12:32.399
Okay.
00:12:32.799 --> 00:12:33.279
Please.
00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:35.120
Baby, baby, baby, baby, please.
00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:39.519
Because I use it, I use it as a way to say, I'm going to show you.
00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:39.919
Okay.
00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:40.559
Right.
00:12:40.720 --> 00:12:42.159
I'm going to prove you wrong.
00:12:42.399 --> 00:12:42.720
Okay.
00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:47.679
And, you know, from high school to college, you know, I was able to do that.
00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:54.399
And in life, you know, when you round people on a job and people say, oh, you're not, you know, you're not this, you're not that.
00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:55.840
And okay, well, show me.
00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:57.200
Okay, I'm going to show you.
00:12:57.279 --> 00:12:57.600
Okay.
00:12:57.679 --> 00:13:01.039
And then you rise above and like, I didn't know you would that you had that in you.
00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:02.879
Well, I already knew I had it in me.
00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:04.320
Right, right, right.
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:06.480
You just didn't, you just didn't see it.
00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:16.879
You know, so I get athletes to see what I see in them, you know, and be able to say, and I tell athletes all the time, I believe in you, but I need you to believe in you.
00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:20.639
I believe in you, but I need you to believe in you.
00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:22.799
Because confidence is your belief system.
00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:24.559
People believe confidence is a feeling.
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:25.279
That's a myth.
00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:26.320
It's not a feeling.
00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:27.360
It's what you believe.
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:29.679
And that's dictated by not what you feel.
00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:31.200
It's about your thoughts.
00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:34.320
The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your performance.
00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:38.000
If you think you can get that hit, you're going to get that hit.
00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:39.200
Right.
00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:41.840
But as soon as you say you can't get that hit, guess what?
00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:43.519
You don't have a prayer to get that hit.
00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:44.399
Right, right.
00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:45.759
So it's interesting, man.
00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:54.080
Like just hearing you say that, it it seemed like even for your own story, in your own story, your confidence was already there.
00:13:54.240 --> 00:14:02.639
And your confidence got even more s profound the more you felt you faced challenges, the more people doubted you.
00:14:02.879 --> 00:14:16.960
And it seemed like in this day and age with young people, and especially young people from certain communities, like if I think about my son and how he grew up, they don't have, you know, they don't meet the same level of adversity that maybe you and I met, you know, growing up.
00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:24.399
So it's like, how do you get them to develop resilience now when most things go in their way?
00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:29.600
Well, I think the shade, I I I show them different shades of adversity.
00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:30.799
Because you're right.
00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:34.320
The way we grew up, it's not the way that our kids have grown up.
00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:34.799
Okay.
00:14:34.960 --> 00:14:36.639
But adversity looks different.
00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:36.960
Okay.
00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:38.639
And they experience it different.
00:14:38.799 --> 00:14:39.039
Okay.
00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:44.240
So I got to show them examples of what that is, and then show them how they can overcome it.
00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:45.120
Like failure.
00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:47.360
Failure for a lot of kids is their identity.
00:14:47.519 --> 00:14:48.799
Failure is just an event.
00:14:48.960 --> 00:14:50.080
You just lost that game.
00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:50.799
And guess what?
00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:53.200
The more you play that game, you're probably going to lose a lot more.
00:14:53.360 --> 00:14:53.679
Okay.
00:14:53.759 --> 00:14:54.080
Right.
00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:55.759
But the loss doesn't define you.
00:14:55.919 --> 00:14:57.919
The loss is an opportunity for you to learn and grow.
00:14:58.080 --> 00:15:01.279
The learning and growing allows you to have more wins in life.
00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:03.360
It doesn't deplete the losses.
00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:06.399
Because the losses are part of the success formula.
00:15:06.559 --> 00:15:08.960
You got to have both in order for you to be successful.
00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:09.600
Yeah.
00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:17.759
And I could tell you this uh that message would seem to be very relevant even for the parents of these kids.
00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:23.279
Right.
00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:30.480
So the this this one hits close to home when I think about for a lot of parents listening.
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:37.600
Now, like how do uh social comparison and parental pressure interfere with mental performance?
00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:42.720
And I have to be honest because I think a lot of us parents don't realize when we're doing it.
00:15:42.879 --> 00:15:45.840
So I love to hear kind of how does that impact the work of the mentality.
00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:47.519
It impacts it tremendously.
00:15:47.679 --> 00:15:52.240
You know, uh comparison, they say, is the is the thief of all joy.
00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:53.200
Okay.
00:15:54.159 --> 00:16:00.399
We were all created in God's image, which means we all individually represent something greater and bigger than ourselves.
00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:00.879
Okay.
00:16:01.519 --> 00:16:06.320
But when you're trying to be like somebody else, you can never be the best version of yourself.
00:16:06.639 --> 00:16:10.480
Because you're looking at somebody else's picture, not seeing your own.
00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:15.120
I tell the story, again, I'm I was a Disney kid growing up, okay?
00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:18.320
And my daughters, I'm a I'm a girl's dad, okay.
00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:20.080
They were Disney girls.
00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:23.360
Okay, so I watch a lot of Disney movies.
00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:30.159
And what people don't realize about Disney, Disney is an author theme watered down for kids to understand.
00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:32.000
Right, right.
00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:32.639
Okay.
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:37.360
So the story I tell about comparison is the story of Snow White.
00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:43.360
There are three main characters of Snow White the Snow White, the Seven Doors, and the Queen.
00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:46.240
And people think the story's about Snow White.
00:16:46.320 --> 00:16:46.960
It's not.
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:49.679
It's about the internal struggle the Queen has.
00:16:50.159 --> 00:16:55.279
Because every day she's looking in the mirror, trying to get validation for herself.
00:16:55.759 --> 00:17:00.080
And when the mayor says she's all that, she feels good about herself.
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:06.880
Until that fateful day when the mayor says somebody's better than you, Snow White, she lost her mind.
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:12.160
And in the process, she tried to destroy Snow White and in turn destroyed herself.
00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:15.039
Because she never realized she was the queen.
00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:16.480
The queen's rule.
00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:19.839
She had everything she needed.
00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:22.160
You're like, you never thought about that way.
00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:23.839
Never thought about that, man.
00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:25.759
I I can get deep sometimes.
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:26.319
Okay.
00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:35.440
And kids are like looking at me like crazy because they don't really know Disney stories and things unless they are Disney kids, okay?
00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:42.960
But it makes them realize, wow, she was so focused on Snow White, she lost sight of who she was.
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:46.720
Then I say, look at the NBA.
00:17:46.880 --> 00:17:51.359
When Kobe came on the scene at 17, they asked me, You want to be like Mike?
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:53.759
I want to be the best Kobe I can be.
00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:54.720
Right.
00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:59.200
When D Wade came on the scene, you want to be like Kobe and Mike want to be the best D Wade.
00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:01.920
Well, LeBron came on the scene.
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:03.839
He just wanted to be the best LeBronis.
00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:09.759
Again, so I try to use those examples of they just want to be the best version of themselves.
00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:10.880
Okay.
00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:16.000
That doesn't mean you still can't learn from other people and take different things.
00:18:16.559 --> 00:18:18.480
Kobe created his own mantra.
00:18:19.279 --> 00:18:19.519
Right.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:21.440
The Mamba mentality.
00:18:21.839 --> 00:18:28.640
It was the blueprint was Michael, but he carved it out so that it felt it it was his own image.
00:18:29.200 --> 00:18:29.440
Okay.
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:32.720
That's why there's Mamba and there's MJ or Air Jordan.
00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:34.079
Separate.
00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:35.440
Okay.
00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:37.839
Everybody wants to be like everybody else.
00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:39.839
No, just be the best version of yourself.
00:18:40.079 --> 00:18:40.720
Be you.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:45.200
Here's my definition of success, Donald.
00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:47.599
I tell every kid this.
00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:51.440
Success is you competing with your own best self.
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:54.480
Can you outdo Donald today?
00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:57.039
In any aspect of your life.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:05.680
If you got a B plus on the on the test or a quiz, can you outdo yourself to get an A minus next week or the next test?
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:10.000
If you jump this or ran this time, can you outdo yourself the next time?
00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:13.039
Here's some tools that can help you outdo yourself.
00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:17.279
So every day you're pushing the armel to be better your best self.
00:19:17.599 --> 00:19:17.839
Right.
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:18.880
I mean you're improving.
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:20.559
Each time if you're thinking like that.
00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:20.960
Yeah.
00:19:21.440 --> 00:19:23.599
And that's the that's that's the process.
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:25.279
Steady improvement.
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:32.640
And that way they feel good about the things that they are doing, not what anybody else is doing or influencing.
00:19:33.039 --> 00:19:34.400
And that's that ownership.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:36.400
You gotta own your own growth.
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:39.839
I mean, you got a brother, you got a twin.
00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:45.440
Same parents, two different identities, two different personalities.
00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:49.599
Similarity, but there's Donald and there's Dennis.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:51.039
Right.
00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:52.960
Separate people.
00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:54.079
Yeah, separate people.
00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:55.759
So you gotta be your own best.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:59.519
You know, and once kids understand that, they're okay.
00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:01.920
But when parents though, they want the best for their kids.
00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:04.720
And then I tell parents, I love that about you.
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:09.119
Okay, but this is teen athlete.
00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:11.680
I need you to be their parent.
00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:12.880
Okay.
00:20:13.839 --> 00:20:22.720
When I was a coach, I used to tell parents all the time, they had those beginning of the year meetings with that you probably attended a zunion times with your kids.
00:20:23.440 --> 00:20:26.319
You know, the 80s had those meetings, you meet the coaches, things like that.
00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:29.519
Well, my philosophy was really just it's real simple.
00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:32.640
I won't be your kids' parent if you don't be their coach.
00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:34.160
Because we're gonna have problems.
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:34.960
I like that.
00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:39.599
I like that so I like that.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:42.079
It just took me a while to catch that.
00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:45.200
Road reversal, right?
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:46.240
Road reversal.
00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:48.960
Let me do what I've been, you know, trained to do.
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:52.559
You be what you want to do, but collectively working together.
00:20:53.039 --> 00:20:59.440
And you trying to do my job, okay, it all it does is confuses your son or your daughter.
00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:07.039
Because now they're focused on trying to please you versus them finding joy and self-fulfillment of what they're doing.
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:10.319
So that you can then compliment that.
00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:16.480
So a lot of my parents, like you, you stepped out and you allowed me to do what I did.
00:21:17.119 --> 00:21:19.119
You were still the dad, and guess what?
00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:23.279
At the end of the story, we're celebrating your son.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:27.599
But it took a village, and everybody was part of that village played a part.
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:33.200
Some parents have a hard time with that because they got some control issues and they want to be at the forefront of everything.
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:35.440
And I get that, okay.
00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:44.720
But I tell parents all the time, your life expectancy is going to be a lot shorter than what they may need down the road.
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:45.359
Okay.
00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:53.599
Because if you passed away suddenly, your kid now is depleted with skills because everything they were doing was for you.
00:21:53.920 --> 00:21:56.960
And now they never learn how to do things for themselves.
00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:58.480
Right.
00:21:58.720 --> 00:21:58.960
You now.
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:03.279
You now handicapped your kid and now you're gone.
00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:05.039
You can't do anything to change that.
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:10.640
You know, so I get kids to look at that to say, I'm not wishing anything bad on anybody's parents or them passing away.
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:22.319
But it's understanding that our job as parents is one to be managers from the time they grow up until they turn 18 to be launched.
00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:23.839
We're managing them.
00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:28.880
When they turn 18 and we're about to release them to college, we now become consultants.
00:22:29.599 --> 00:22:31.839
Without with them.
00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:33.440
Here's what I think.
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:36.559
This might be your best issue, but you gotta make your own decisions.
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:39.359
Now they can come back.
00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:42.079
You know, fail, learn good back.
00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.039
But now we're in a role where we're consulting with them.
00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:52.079
If you're still managing them, okay, then they're gonna look for other managers in their lives.
00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:57.279
Okay, which could be very detrimental to their overall mental well-being.
00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:04.880
And I try to get parents to understand what you're doing is hurting your kid, not helping your kid.
00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:05.599
Okay.
00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:07.759
So based on what you're saying here.
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:08.640
Go ahead.
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:09.680
I'm sorry.
00:23:09.759 --> 00:23:13.519
Uh I would say based on what you're saying here, would you say the biggest issue?
00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:22.799
I mean, I know you talked about, you know, interfering with coaching, like coaching athletically, but is it the same issue that you see with mental performance where the parents are trying to control?
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:31.519
The control, and again, what happens is parents who have that kind of control, their kid, and this is what that kid looks like.
00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:36.160
The kid's in the game makes a mistake, the first thing they look at is how the mom and dad respond.
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:38.559
They're looking for that approval, okay?
00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:41.759
I can't have you looking in the stands and being on the floor.
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:43.680
If you want to look in the stands, come sit by me.
00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:46.880
You can look in the stands all you want because you can't hurt the team no more.
00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:47.839
Right?
00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:48.400
Okay.
00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:49.839
You're happy, I'm happy.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:51.519
They're not happy, okay?
00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:53.279
But you're getting their approval.
00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:53.920
Guess what?
00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:55.200
You're not getting my approval.
00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:56.160
Sit right here.
00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:56.880
You're good.
00:23:57.039 --> 00:23:57.279
Okay.
00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:00.400
I got to get you back into a next play mentality, okay?
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:04.160
Because as a parent, we're supposed to love our kids again, supposed to.
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:05.680
Love our kids unconditionally.
00:24:05.759 --> 00:24:08.480
Good, bad, and indifferent, we gotta love them through things.
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:08.880
Okay.
00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:13.920
But if it's all about me, you pleasing me, I'd invested all this money, da-da-da-da.
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:14.640
Okay.
00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:20.559
It's all about me, then you lose sight of what the real growth about sports and athletics is for athletes.
00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:21.279
Right, right.
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:21.599
Okay.
00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:28.720
I mean, that's that's a like a self-centered mindset that produces the opposite of what you hope for your child.
00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:29.680
Absolutely.
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:33.440
And there are a lot of sports movies that are out there that that really depleted that.
00:24:33.599 --> 00:24:34.799
Don't be that guy.
00:24:35.039 --> 00:24:38.720
Because in the movie, you saw the kid pull away from that parent.
00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:42.000
Movies are depleting on real life situations, okay?
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:45.519
Even though this has been dramatized, there's some real life situations.
00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:48.559
Someone thought about that idea and made a motion picture.
00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:48.799
Okay.
00:24:49.039 --> 00:24:50.960
But the motion picture now is your reality.
00:24:51.119 --> 00:24:52.480
You now lost your child.
00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:52.880
Okay.
00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:57.680
I can't give them back to you because I'm not the one who created that, you know, that opposition.
00:24:57.839 --> 00:24:58.319
Right.
00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:05.759
So it's understanding parents, and again, I have conversations with parents, again, is that, hey, one, this is the village, this is the team.
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:06.960
Everyone's got a job.
00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:15.119
My job when they're here is for me to equip them with the tools necessary to help them be successful, both on and off the field.
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:20.400
Your job is to support that in their growth, because I'm not going to tell them anything that's going to hurt them.
00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:27.039
If anything, I'm telling them things that you've already told them, but simplifying the way that they can understand it so that they can grow themselves.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:28.960
As I said earlier, I don't fix anything.
00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:29.839
I grow people.
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:31.920
I grow young people into young adults.
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:46.000
So what I mean, this is powerful because one of the things that I heard you say that I think a lot of parents need to need to understand, and and somehow I came to this, thank God, but that we are supposed to love our kids unconditionally.
00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:55.119
So if they're like performing and they're not performing well, and we're shunning them or demeaning them, that's not loving them unconditionally.
00:25:55.200 --> 00:26:02.079
Because it seems like we're too invested in whatever sort of outcome that we envision for them, but it takes them out of the mental game.
00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:06.240
It takes them out of the actual athletic performance that they need to be present for.
00:26:06.480 --> 00:26:06.880
Yes.
00:26:07.359 --> 00:26:08.799
Is that kind of how you see that?
00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:12.319
Parents become it becomes an ego extension of themselves.
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:15.119
That when my kid does well, I'm doing well.
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:15.680
Okay.
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:16.960
Kid does well or good.
00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:18.960
You're supposed to be able to say, hey, I love seeing you play.
00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:20.079
Good win or lose.
00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:21.839
I love how I love how you do.
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:22.559
Okay.
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:24.079
I love how you did this.
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:25.359
I love how you did that.
00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:26.319
But we lost.
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:28.799
But you're always a winner in my heart and in my mind.
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:29.279
You know?
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:32.000
So they hear that failure is a good thing.
00:26:32.160 --> 00:26:32.480
Okay.
00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:34.480
When things don't go your way, guess what?
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:40.559
We're going to find a way to, you know, turn around in our favor versus I'm investing all this money, wasting my time, blah, blah, blah.
00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:43.440
And I just feel is they feel depleted.
00:26:43.599 --> 00:26:43.839
Okay.
00:26:44.240 --> 00:26:50.880
And now they're just more concerned about, again, what you're thinking, what you're feeling, versus playing the game.
00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:52.720
It's supposed to be about having fun.
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:57.839
Most kids drop out of sports by the age of 13, like at 80%, because it's no longer fun.
00:26:57.920 --> 00:26:59.440
It's become a job for them.
00:26:59.599 --> 00:27:01.200
They got the rest of their life to be working.
00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:03.119
And their job shouldn't be about pleasing you.
00:27:03.279 --> 00:27:04.799
Their job shouldn't be about pleasing you.
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:10.400
The job is for them to learn skills where they can enjoy not only sports, but also enjoy their lives.
00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:12.799
Because the longevity of sports is very short.
00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:15.039
And you're right.
00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:16.000
And you're right about it.
00:27:16.079 --> 00:27:18.400
You know, and that's that's the thing that people got to keep in mind.
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:23.599
And not everybody's going to be able to achieve at the highest level that most people want, you know.
00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:33.519
And so it sounds like your frame is, you know, allow the child to grow and develop to whatever level they're going to be and and and be okay with that.
00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:40.319
Like that, you know, and that if if they're focused on improving, they're going to get ultimately where they need, where they where they're blown, right?
00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:41.839
It's kind of how I see that.
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:43.279
So that's pretty, that's pretty foul.
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:44.559
I I gotta be honest, though.
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:54.160
Um one of the things I learned uh with Daniel working with you is that you know, I've had this mindset that, you know, it's Daniel out there because I did it.
00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:58.640
And I know I know what it takes to play football, run track, and it was hard work.
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:03.599
And so when Daniel performed, I never took his success as my success.
00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:06.799
You know, it was I was literally like a fan, like really excited for him.
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:14.640
But one of the things that I learned from this engagement with you guys is that I I did used to say to him, like, you should have done this.
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:19.200
And he he he he taught me not to say that.
00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:22.319
That was one of the skills that you you taught him about the Uddis.
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:23.039
Is that what that was?
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:23.599
Mm-hmm.
00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:25.680
Yeah, I call those mental handcuffs.
00:28:25.839 --> 00:28:27.279
Can you say more about that?
00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:28.319
Right, right.
00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:30.079
But I didn't know I was doing it.
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:32.799
I was actually It's that self-awareness, and that's a skill.
00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:37.599
Not only did I have to help them become self-aware, they can help other people become self-aware.
00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:38.000
Okay.
00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:46.000
There are daily words we use every day that actually lock us up versus freeing us to be our very best version of ourselves every day.
00:28:46.160 --> 00:28:47.279
And it's called the Uddas.
00:28:47.599 --> 00:28:47.759
Okay.
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:50.160
Part of the Uddhas is a shoulda, woulda, kudas.
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:50.640
Okay.
00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:53.920
Don'ts, the can'ts, the alls, right?
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:55.759
All or nothings, the nevers.
00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:57.119
I expect.
00:28:57.359 --> 00:28:57.599
Okay.
00:28:57.920 --> 00:29:02.160
When you speak those into existence, okay, you actually begin to lock up your mind.
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.160
You now have a more fixed mindset.
00:29:04.319 --> 00:29:06.720
Your mind's fixed on those expectations.
00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:07.119
Okay.
00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:16.960
Expectations sound good, but they're not set necessarily good for you because they're judgments and demands that you place on yourself or that you adopt from other people, i.e., parents.
00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:17.920
You adopt those.
00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:23.920
So you wonder why you're not having consistent performances because your mind, you're a prisoner in your own mind.
00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:25.039
You're no longer free.
00:29:25.200 --> 00:29:27.599
Free your mind and your performance will fall.
00:29:27.680 --> 00:29:28.880
There's no mental clutter.
00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:29.680
Your mind's quiet.
00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:31.200
You're just out there enjoying the moment.
00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:33.119
And that's where you get your best performances.
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:42.640
If you think about this and thinking about that, and I should do this and I have to do that, and when it doesn't happen and your confidence spirals out of control, and you're just all in your head, yeah, you're a mess.
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:43.519
But you're not a good thing.
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:45.039
Okay.
00:29:45.519 --> 00:29:45.759
Right.
00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:47.759
If anything, you're slave to yourself.
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:50.319
But you have the key to free yourself, and that's what I show them.
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:53.200
You have the key to free yourself based on how you think.
00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:56.799
Mental game is learning how to think freely, to perform freely.
00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:10.880
So when you think about this mental performance coaching, and it it doesn't happen in a vacuum, um, what would you say the the type of support system that needs to be in place that would allow this to flourish for a child?
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:19.680
Well, I I think having an adult that they trust, okay, whoever that person is, there's got to be some type of relationship based to it, okay?
00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:31.519
Um, because that way you're gonna deal, you know, you're gonna build chemistry, connectedness, okay, trustworthiness, honesty, integrity, all those other skills that we as parents want to embrace in our kids.
00:30:31.680 --> 00:30:34.319
You're teaching all those skills based on that relationship.
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:36.160
So now you have a strong foundation.
00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:43.200
And off that foundation, you can build your cathedral for what you want to be able to build based on the vision of what you want to accomplish.
00:30:43.359 --> 00:30:43.599
Okay.
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:48.000
It may not be like everybody else's cathedral, but it's the cathedral that you're gonna go to.
00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:50.319
The cathedral that you're gonna be able to lead your legacy.
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:56.319
Like your son left a legacy at his high school uh being one of, you know, a state champion.
00:30:56.480 --> 00:30:56.799
Okay.
00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:00.720
And a great student, okay.
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:03.039
And no one can ever take that away from him.
00:31:03.279 --> 00:31:11.119
But the life lessons he learned along that journey will stay with him a lifetime because everything wasn't all roses for him.
00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:12.880
He had a lot of ups and downs.
00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:13.359
Okay.
00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:27.519
And, but he found ways to overcome that and stayed focused on his dream, knowing that again, every day I can add one brick to my my dream, or I can I can build it one brick at a time, or I can just build a wall and imprison myself.
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:28.000
Okay.
00:31:28.160 --> 00:31:29.680
Well, he built his own cathedral.
00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:36.960
And now he's now at Southwest Baptist about to add another brick to add another section to that cathedral.
00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:38.559
He's still growing himself.
00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:39.839
He's still building.
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:41.039
Okay.
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:43.759
So that's what I feel like Go ahead.
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:54.319
Yeah, I was thinking like, so uh a trusted relationship, it sounds like you're saying, like, with uh a coach like yourself that he can relate to and learn these skills that's gonna help him build.
00:31:54.480 --> 00:32:06.079
And aside from like someone like you, what what you know, what you think has helped a kid in terms of their group their broader support system, what type of uh support you think is necessary?
00:32:06.319 --> 00:32:08.559
You talked a little bit about parents and what parents should do.
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:11.200
So can you say more about the other supports around it?
00:32:11.440 --> 00:32:18.720
Well, the other supports, again, you know, having parents who understand the process of what you're trying to accomplish, okay?
00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:23.119
Um, that you are not trying to take their place, okay.
00:32:23.279 --> 00:32:27.519
I've had some parents that, you know, my kid listened to you more than he listened to me.
00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:30.160
Well, because I'm building a relationship with your kid.
00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:34.559
You know, you're having a dictatorship in your in your family dynamics, okay.
00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:36.480
That's why he's running from it, okay.
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:38.000
I'm meeting him where he's at.
00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:41.119
I'm treating him like he wants to be treated, okay.
00:32:41.519 --> 00:33:00.559
Um, having other pieces of the puzzle as far as, you know, a dietitian, you know, someone can help them with their diet, um, helping them with their physical training, working out and things like that, having all those key peak parts of it because so much of our culture is so driven by the physical, okay?
00:33:00.720 --> 00:33:05.119
You gotta get bigger and faster and stronger if you have a chance, you know, to make it the next level.
00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:07.519
And so and to some level that's true.
00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:11.359
But Bobby Knight said the mental game is four to one to physical.
00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:12.000
Four to one.
00:33:12.079 --> 00:33:14.240
And again, he said that in in the Can you repeat that?
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:15.839
The mental game is four to one physical.
00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:16.720
Who said that?
00:33:16.880 --> 00:33:17.599
Bobby Knight.
00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:18.160
Okay, yeah.
00:33:18.319 --> 00:33:19.200
Bobby Knight, okay.
00:33:19.359 --> 00:33:20.240
Okay, Indiana.
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:22.319
Hall of Fame coach, legendary coach.
00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:22.640
Okay.
00:33:23.039 --> 00:33:26.960
Before his time, he told people the mental game was more important than the physical game.
00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:27.759
Four to one.
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:28.319
Right.
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:29.359
Four to nine.
00:33:29.519 --> 00:33:30.000
Mm-hmm.
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:30.480
Okay.
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:34.799
Everyone nods their head, but they focus more on the physical aspects.
00:33:35.039 --> 00:33:35.279
Okay.
00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:39.599
But if you still think a certain way, I make a mistake, you become the mistake.
00:33:39.759 --> 00:33:42.160
You look like Tarzan, but you don't play like Tarzan.
00:33:42.400 --> 00:33:42.799
Guess what?
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:44.160
You're not going to get on the field.
00:33:44.319 --> 00:33:51.440
You're not going to be recruited because I can't recruit somebody who's not able to play in the moment, who's not able to let go or bounce back from those mistakes.
00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:53.359
You're seeing yourself as a mistake.
00:33:53.519 --> 00:33:56.319
Okay, now you're a liability on the floor on the court.
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:59.440
So those mental skills are what coaches are looking for.
00:33:59.599 --> 00:34:05.279
They can recruit anybody who can run this fast and jump this high and lift the building.
00:34:05.440 --> 00:34:05.759
Okay.
00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:15.119
But do you have those other parts that when things are not going well, can you stay composed and in the moment, those are the kids that they're going to count on.
00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:18.480
Okay, that you're not having a pity party because things didn't go your way.
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:19.039
Okay.
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:26.639
Um, or, you know, you're concerned because the referees are cheating or whatever the case may be.
00:34:26.800 --> 00:34:27.840
Those are uncontrollable.
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:29.119
That's outside noise.
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:33.760
And a lot of kids have been trained to be listening to the noise, not listening to themselves.
00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:34.239
Okay.
00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:37.039
So one of the skills I teach is about controlling the controllables.
00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:37.840
Do you control that?
00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:41.679
No, then why are you wasting your energy on something that you can't control?
00:34:43.039 --> 00:34:45.039
Let's tap into the things you can't control.
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:46.880
Like, did you eat this morning?
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:47.280
No.
00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:48.320
Okay, well, guess what?
00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:49.519
That can help your performance.
00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:52.800
You eating can help your performance.
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:53.199
Right.
00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:56.800
Just simple things like that that kids take for granted.
00:34:57.440 --> 00:34:58.000
Right.
00:34:58.239 --> 00:34:58.559
Okay.
00:34:58.800 --> 00:34:59.440
Yeah, they do.
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:06.960
That realize that if I do these things consistently and I'm disciplined on how I do it, those are going to elevate my performance.
00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:08.880
Not running this and running that.
00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:10.719
It's those daily habits.
00:35:12.079 --> 00:35:15.039
And the mental game is about teaching those daily habits.
00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:15.519
Okay.
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:16.800
It's like vitamins.
00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:22.559
The mental game is just another supplement that you're adding to your dietary growth as an athlete.
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:23.360
Right.
00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:24.960
And and you're right.
00:35:25.039 --> 00:35:36.239
Like it's a holistic approach to, I would say, human development, because you know we're we're raising human, we're raising young people to become adults.
00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:42.480
And so obviously you want to nourish the mind, you want to nourish the body, you want to do the physical things that that are necessary.
00:35:42.719 --> 00:35:47.119
You wanna you want to make sure your mind is right, focus on the right things.
00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:50.159
I would even add that there's a spiritual component to it.
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:58.400
Like what you said earlier, like, you know, uh we're made in in God's image, and we're made for greater than what we are now, you know, than who we are now.
00:35:58.559 --> 00:36:10.880
So that all that stuff matters when you have an integrated self, and you're really speaking well to that, which is one of the things that I find um I think most people don't realize how important it is.
00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:19.039
You see, families now, they're holding their eighth grade back uh so they can get another year of eighth grade so they can get them physically strong.
00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:24.800
But are they are they emotionally mature, you know, to do the next hit the next level.
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:34.559
So you know, if they don't have that eight in you, that hurts them more because they're not getting the investment that they're getting putting in with physical, because there's no balance.
00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:41.599
You know, I I tell parents I just had a new parent come on board, and the things I was telling them, they're like, that's exactly what we're looking for.
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:50.639
You know, that it's not just the wins and this and that, it's about having emotional balance, you know, in their lives because you're not always gonna win.
00:36:50.800 --> 00:36:51.119
Okay.
00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:54.639
If anything, you're gonna have take more L's than you will get wins.
00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:58.880
You think about high school football in the state of Illinois, only eight teens win their last game.
00:36:59.039 --> 00:37:01.840
Only eight teens win their last game of the season.
00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:02.400
That's it.
00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:04.400
Everyone just got the L's.
00:37:04.800 --> 00:37:05.440
Right.
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:07.840
You're laughing, but that's the reality.
00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:09.199
That's the reality, right?
00:37:10.239 --> 00:37:11.199
You know, in basketball.
00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:20.400
In basketball, only four teams win their last game, you know, as far as a championship aspect.
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:21.440
That's it, fool.
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:22.239
You know?
00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:24.400
So it it's tough.
00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:24.800
Okay.
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:32.719
I mean, I got even college kids that have taken L's that they got their degree, they did everything and everyone's told them, but they can't find a job now.
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:37.360
You know, so it's kind of like I did everything the right way, but I can't, I'm not employable.
00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:39.360
Because they say now they want people with experience.
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:42.320
It's like, well, that's the other part of the adult world.
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:50.480
If they weren't taught that, now this young man is now navigating the ups and downs of, well, how do I gain more experience?
00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:52.079
How do I make myself more marketable?
00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:52.480
Okay.
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:56.960
How do I deal with the bill of goods they told me that didn't turn out the way that they told me it would turn out?
00:37:57.039 --> 00:37:58.239
How do I respond back?
00:37:58.400 --> 00:38:02.320
Well, because he has a background in athletics, he understands how to bounce back.
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:03.679
You got to adjust and adapt.
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:06.400
So I teach kids how to have a Swiss Army knife.
00:38:06.480 --> 00:38:08.400
You know, the Swiss Army knife got everything in there.
00:38:08.639 --> 00:38:11.920
Pull this out, fork, knife, you know, spoon, whatever it is.
00:38:12.079 --> 00:38:14.320
You got to use different things to adjust and adapt.
00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:18.000
Because everything's not always gonna go the way you want it to, or as planned.
00:38:18.239 --> 00:38:19.679
How do you have more composure?
00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:23.039
How do you stay more calm, cool, and collected when the stuff hits the fan?
00:38:23.119 --> 00:38:25.360
Because it's gonna hit the fan at some point in time in your life.
00:38:25.519 --> 00:38:25.760
Okay.
00:38:26.159 --> 00:38:28.719
How do you are you focusing on the right things?
00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:29.199
Okay.
00:38:29.599 --> 00:38:32.800
Because whatever you focus on, you improve, okay?
00:38:33.039 --> 00:38:50.239
But uh I just had an athlete who learned visualization the next week, use visualization as a tool to help her overcome some of her fears about tryout and dominated the tryout because she saw herself being successful in her mind before she actually did it.
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:52.400
You know, the issues of self-talk.
00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:54.159
A lot of people have confidence issues.
00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:57.519
The confidence is really about the narrative that they're telling themselves.
00:38:57.679 --> 00:39:02.000
If you keep telling yourself, I can't do this, I can't do this, it's not a confidence thing.
00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:04.639
It's you with your your narrative, what you're saying to yourself.
00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:09.119
So we talk about positive self-talk, having that growth mindset, okay.
00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:12.800
Uh ways to fuel your confidence or to boost your confidence.
00:39:13.039 --> 00:39:13.280
Okay.
00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:16.639
Re-replaying those past successes.
00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:21.119
Playing to your strengths versus playing to your weaknesses, okay.
00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:22.159
Your preparation.
00:39:22.239 --> 00:39:24.239
What do you do to prepare yourself to go to battle?
00:39:24.719 --> 00:39:24.960
Okay.
00:39:25.199 --> 00:39:27.920
The good Lord said we should put on the full armor of God.
00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:28.559
Okay.
00:39:29.199 --> 00:39:32.480
That's how we beat the eels of of s of the world.
00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:33.199
Okay.
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:38.239
Without the full armor, you're at the at the means of the of the enemy.
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:38.960
Okay.
00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:43.360
Well, the enemy really is you from the sports perspective.
00:39:43.599 --> 00:39:46.719
Are you being your best friend or are you probably your worst enemy?
00:39:47.199 --> 00:39:47.440
Okay.
00:39:48.880 --> 00:39:50.079
Focusing on the right things.
00:39:50.159 --> 00:39:53.360
I talk about the the concept of putting on mental blinders.
00:39:53.840 --> 00:39:57.679
You know, why they put blinders on horses so they can they can stay in the presence.
00:39:58.159 --> 00:39:59.840
Be able to block out the noise.
00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:00.639
Okay.
00:40:01.519 --> 00:40:12.320
All those skills are part of your swap arming that's allows you to adapt and adjust, no matter what the adversity that you face, allows you to stay committed to the process.
00:40:13.199 --> 00:40:28.960
So one thing I want to ask you about is, you know, what would you say parents, how parents, you know, considering hiring a mental performance coach, uh, what credentials or what results should they be examining before they make an investment in this type of work?
00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:41.039
Well, again, you know, performance coaches um are professionals who really strive on sports performance.
00:40:41.119 --> 00:40:49.360
Okay, teaching your your athlete you know, skills or life skills to enhance their performance, both on or off the playing field.
00:40:49.519 --> 00:41:00.880
Um, you want to look for someone who has credentials and experience of helping multiple different levels of people, particularly people at the age that your your son or daughter is at.
00:41:01.119 --> 00:41:01.360
Okay.
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:11.920
Now, the difference between a sports performance coach and a sports psychologist is a sports psychologist is someone who has a doctorate degree in sports psychology.
00:41:12.159 --> 00:41:12.400
Okay.
00:41:12.639 --> 00:41:23.440
I don't have a doctorate degree in sports psychology, but my license being a social worker, being a licensed social worker is I've been trained the same way they have been on human development.
00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:24.400
Okay.
00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:29.920
I'm just certified on teaching the sports performance skills.
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:30.719
Okay.
00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:37.119
So a lot of my athletes refer to me as doctor, this, a doctor, that, and I just say I'm just coach A.
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:38.000
Okay.
00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:40.000
Nothing more, nothing less.
00:41:40.239 --> 00:41:40.559
Okay.
00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:47.840
So if you're looking for that title, there's a lot of people who have titles out there, you know, sports ecologists.
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:58.559
And again, I'm not trying to put them down, but it's understanding that just because they have the title doesn't mean that they're going to help your kid any more, any less than someone who's just a sports performance coach.
00:41:58.960 --> 00:41:59.280
Okay.
00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:04.400
You really want to look at what do they bring to the table, what is their pedigree, what is their profile.
00:42:04.880 --> 00:42:05.199
Okay.
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:09.039
And are they skilled in the area that your kid's at?
00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:17.519
You know, since I specialize from a clinician with adolescents and young adults, I fit that whole profile.
00:42:18.400 --> 00:42:18.719
Okay.
00:42:19.119 --> 00:42:27.599
And that 35 years or plus of working with athletes and non-athletes, I had a pedigree that says, I've had a lot of success doing that.
00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:28.320
Okay.
00:42:28.719 --> 00:42:35.679
Does that mean because I don't have that side D sports that counts behind my name, I'm any less credible?
00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:36.320
No.
00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:37.679
Okay.
00:42:38.559 --> 00:42:45.760
It just means that I have a skill set that I can help your kid move from where they're at to where they want to go.
00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:46.800
Okay.
00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:50.880
So a lot of times we want the best of the of everything that we do.
00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:52.960
You know, the best doctor, this and that.
00:42:53.119 --> 00:42:53.920
I get that.
00:42:54.480 --> 00:42:54.719
Okay.
00:42:55.119 --> 00:42:59.440
But you also gotta read what has that doctor, what's behind that doctor's name.
00:42:59.920 --> 00:43:00.239
Okay.
00:43:00.559 --> 00:43:00.880
Right.
00:43:01.679 --> 00:43:10.239
Because going that doctor, you might be on another list that you don't want to be on, you know, that has hurt people, not help people.
00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:18.719
Um so again, it it's just understanding that we're all in the we're all in the field to help people.
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:19.440
Okay.
00:43:20.559 --> 00:43:23.920
Performance coaches, sports psychologists, okay.
00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:29.199
You just need to do your homework of what you're looking for, what's gonna be best for your kids.
00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:30.159
Okay.
00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:44.239
The families that get me, they know that I have a dual background that if your kid was struggling with something other than sports, I can help them with other aspects of their life.
00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:47.760
I can just change hats.
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:48.239
Okay.
00:43:48.639 --> 00:43:50.079
And don't miss a beat.
00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:50.880
Okay.
00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:59.760
Where if you just go to someone who's got a specialty in just that and not having another modality behind that.
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:03.440
They may not be able to help you in stuff like that.
00:44:04.639 --> 00:44:11.519
No, and so that way you you almost feel like you be bamboozled thinking that because they had doctor behind their name that they're gonna be able to help your kid in all areas.
00:44:11.599 --> 00:44:13.039
No, they have a specialty.
00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:14.559
You know.
00:44:15.280 --> 00:44:19.599
Just like if I just tore my meniscus not too long ago.
00:44:20.159 --> 00:44:22.960
I can go see my family a doctor, but that's not what they practice.
00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:24.880
I gotta go see a orthopedic.
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:26.400
Right.
00:44:26.800 --> 00:44:31.360
Who's got more specialties in the things I need to help me work on.
00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:32.880
So that's that's a good point.
00:44:33.039 --> 00:44:40.559
So yeah, that's what I appreciate about you is that you, you know, you have the clinical background and you have this specialization that you've added.
00:44:40.639 --> 00:44:48.480
And it just makes you, in my opinion, more valuable, especially to adolescents and young adults who are who are in transition, right?
00:44:48.719 --> 00:44:55.519
Because there's a lot of things that can get in the way of not only athletic performance but their lives, and and and you've uh are very skilled at it.
00:44:55.599 --> 00:45:00.320
And that's why I had a whole lot of faith in in your work and how you work with Daniel.
00:45:00.480 --> 00:45:16.239
Um so before you know, before we kind of wrap up, I wanted to ask you, like, you know, there there are obviously, I want to guess, some people out there listening, parents and coaches otherwise, who might be thinking, uh, you know, this what this mental performance, they're skeptics.
00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:20.239
What what would you say to them about that mindset about mental performance?
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:23.199
Well, there's always gonna be skeptics, okay?
00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:26.880
Anything you're not familiar with, that's pretty normal.
00:45:27.119 --> 00:45:27.440
Okay.
00:45:28.239 --> 00:45:34.239
But meet me like I'm gonna meet you where you're at, and let's have a conversation about it.
00:45:34.480 --> 00:45:44.719
You know, I offer a 30-minute free consultation for anyone who's interested or wary about what middle performance is and what I can do or not do for for their kids.
00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:45.440
Okay.
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:49.360
And we talk about what are the barriers that you see that they're struggling with.
00:45:50.079 --> 00:45:50.400
Okay.
00:45:50.880 --> 00:45:58.320
And now I can tell you in a preliminary of this is how I would grow you know, your athlete to move beyond those barriers.
00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:01.039
Here are the skills I would be teaching them.
00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:02.239
Okay.
00:46:03.599 --> 00:46:06.480
But understanding I can't fix anything.
00:46:07.360 --> 00:46:07.599
Okay.
00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:09.039
I'm not a fixer.
00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:10.480
I'm a grower.
00:46:11.280 --> 00:46:11.599
Okay.
00:46:12.559 --> 00:46:15.199
And it takes time to grow things.
00:46:15.360 --> 00:46:19.039
So again, we live in a microwave society and everybody wants everything yesterday.
00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:20.320
I can't provide that.
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:21.519
Okay.
00:46:21.679 --> 00:46:24.159
So if you're looking for that quick fix, I'm not the person.
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:33.440
You know, I tell athletes all the time, parents, the athletes who make the most growth with me are with me at least 18 months.
00:46:33.920 --> 00:46:41.840
Because it takes that much longer for me to make the transition, the mind shift from then to buy into the mental gain.
00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:43.119
But here's the key.
00:46:43.360 --> 00:46:45.119
They gotta now apply it.
00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:47.360
And that's a daily habit.
00:46:47.519 --> 00:46:51.039
It's like if you don't brush your teeth on a daily basis, you go teeth gonna fall out.
00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:54.159
You gotta brush your teeth.
00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:57.280
Well, you gotta use these skills on a daily basis.
00:46:58.000 --> 00:46:58.159
Okay.
00:46:58.559 --> 00:47:02.800
Again, I try to make realistic examples because again, you don't want my teeth to fall out.
00:47:02.960 --> 00:47:03.199
Okay.
00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:05.920
But yeah, you you know, it's those little things.
00:47:06.079 --> 00:47:07.599
It's a little thing, right?
00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:08.159
Yeah.
00:47:08.639 --> 00:47:12.159
And think about how many kids struggle with getting their kids to brush their teeth.
00:47:12.239 --> 00:47:15.760
You know, I can't get them to do this, can't wash their face.
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:18.320
Okay, well, I show them the end result.
00:47:18.400 --> 00:47:20.800
If you don't do it, this is what you can expect.
00:47:21.519 --> 00:47:21.679
Right.
00:47:22.159 --> 00:47:22.639
Guarantee.
00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:23.679
This is guaranteed.
00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:27.920
I can't tell you when it's gonna happen, but I can tell you that's how it, that's how the story ends.
00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:28.880
Okay.
00:47:29.199 --> 00:47:37.519
You buy into the middle game, you're gonna put yourself in position to have a short-term and long-term success because you're making gradual progress daily.
00:47:37.679 --> 00:47:38.639
And you're gonna be able to do that.
00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:39.840
That's been true for Daniel.
00:47:40.079 --> 00:47:40.320
Right.
00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:48.320
So I was about to say that that that's been true for Daniel because it it didn't take, you know, it it Daniel was committed to it, obviously.
00:47:48.480 --> 00:47:57.519
Um, and it took about three weeks when we started noticing a significant adjustment in how he was thinking and how he was looking on the football field.
00:47:57.679 --> 00:48:06.239
It was it was incredible, but like you said, you know, it was gonna take time, and for him, it just so happened to work because he was ready to do the work.
00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:11.679
And he committed himself and it made it made a it made a difference in a short period of time.
00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:23.760
Um one one last question I want to I want to just ask, you know, if you had any final words that you think is important for parents and and young people to to hear uh about the work that you do in mental performance.
00:48:23.920 --> 00:48:36.239
I would say if your kid has any aspiration of playing at the next level or playing at the highest level they can, be it from club to high school, you need to add the mental component to their formula, okay?
00:48:36.559 --> 00:48:42.639
Because it's going to equip them with other tools, okay, that they're gonna need beyond that sport.
00:48:42.960 --> 00:48:43.280
Okay.
00:48:43.599 --> 00:48:49.519
They're gonna get more enjoyment out of their sport because they got the skills to deal with the ups and downs of sports, okay?
00:48:49.679 --> 00:48:51.440
You might have a bad relationship with a coach.
00:48:51.599 --> 00:48:52.639
Okay, well, guess what?
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:54.239
They're still the coach.
00:48:54.639 --> 00:48:57.519
And either you're gonna transfer schools or this or that.
00:48:57.599 --> 00:49:01.199
You gotta learn how to deal with that because you're gonna deal with tough people in society.
00:49:01.440 --> 00:49:01.760
Okay.
00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:03.599
Yeah, your confidence is gonna be fragile.
00:49:03.679 --> 00:49:04.159
Well, guess what?
00:49:04.239 --> 00:49:06.559
A lot of athletes' confidence are fragile.
00:49:06.719 --> 00:49:06.960
Okay.
00:49:07.119 --> 00:49:10.000
When things don't go their way, they kind of get in their own head.
00:49:10.159 --> 00:49:10.480
Okay.
00:49:10.639 --> 00:49:11.440
Well, guess what?
00:49:11.599 --> 00:49:20.400
I can teach you the skills to get you out of your head and back to just enjoying the purity of the sport, knowing that adversity is a part of life and it's a part of sports.
00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:23.920
But it's how you respond to it that gives you the edge.
00:49:24.079 --> 00:49:24.400
Yep.
00:49:24.559 --> 00:49:24.960
Awesome.
00:49:25.119 --> 00:49:25.440
Awesome.
00:49:25.679 --> 00:49:30.719
Mark, this has been everything I had hoped for, and I'm really humbled that you joined.
00:49:30.960 --> 00:49:33.119
Honestly, uh, want to just thank you.
00:49:33.360 --> 00:49:46.880
Um the work you do for young people is incredible, and we've sent a lot of folks your way, and I'm seeing the impact on even those people that that you've met with uh to our recruitable community.
00:49:46.960 --> 00:50:01.760
If if your son or daughter is struggling with confidence and is showing up on the field and is showing up on the court and you know, on the track or maybe in the classroom, uh, it wouldn't hurt to explore what mental performance can do for them.
00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:03.760
Like, like Mark, you just shared.
00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:16.000
Um so uh I I I suggest that parents, you know, think about this as a part of the the different areas of opportunities that you can help your kid develop.
00:50:16.159 --> 00:50:18.880
And if you're open to it, I wholeheartedly recommend you, Mark.
00:50:18.960 --> 00:50:20.159
I recommend Mark Anderson.
00:50:20.400 --> 00:50:28.159
And what we're gonna do is leave your information in the the podcast so that if anyone is looking for your service, Mark, they they get to reach out.
00:50:28.320 --> 00:50:41.920
The other thing I want to ask our listeners to do, if you've been enjoying uh uh recruitable over these many episodes, we'd like to ask that you like this episode and subscribe to Recruitable Podcasts on YouTube.
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:45.760
And we also are available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
00:50:46.000 --> 00:51:00.480
And until next time, keep working, keep believing, and remember the recruitment journey is a process, and we're here to help you navigate it with actionable, real take home things that you can do from people who are actually doing the work.
00:51:00.639 --> 00:51:04.719
And so thank you for joining us on recruitable, and thank you, Mark, for being with us.
00:51:04.880 --> 00:51:09.119
I'm certainly again blessed that you joined and excited to see what the future holds.
00:51:09.519 --> 00:51:10.400
Appreciate it now.