I like a thin cheese

WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.090 --> 00:00:03.169
This episode is presented by Monzo. Josh, I love the
2
00:00:03.209 --> 00:00:06.009
summer holiday, aside from being asked for an ice cream
3
00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:07.719
every 32 seconds.
4
00:00:07.900 --> 00:00:10.419
Well, Rob, that is why it's an ideal time to
5
00:00:10.519 --> 00:00:13.259
get them a free Monzo Kids account to help build
6
00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:16.079
confidence and independence with their money. You can instantly send
7
00:00:16.140 --> 00:00:18.859
money or set up regular pocket money and parents still
8
00:00:18.920 --> 00:00:22.309
have full visibility and control from their own Monzo app.
9
00:00:22.449 --> 00:00:24.370
Unlike the requests for ice creams from the kids.
10
00:00:24.629 --> 00:00:26.289
Monzo's award-winning kids account.
11
00:00:26.370 --> 00:00:27.149
Search Monzo.
12
00:00:27.489 --> 00:00:30.269
For children aged 6 to 15, parent or guardian account
13
00:00:30.329 --> 00:00:33.630
needed first. UK residents only. T's and C's apply.
14
00:00:36.619 --> 00:00:40.659
Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Sophie, can you
15
00:00:40.780 --> 00:00:49.219
see Rob Beckett? Can you see Josh Weddicombe? Good job.
16
00:00:49.280 --> 00:00:51.729
Sounds like a drunk old man.
17
00:00:51.740 --> 00:00:57.859
Yeah. Yeah. Can you say Rob Beckett?
18
00:00:58.460 --> 00:01:04.319
Can you say Josh Widdicombe? Good job.
19
00:01:04.859 --> 00:01:11.030
There we go. It's my 23-month-old Sophie from Ayrshire, Scotland,
20
00:01:11.090 --> 00:01:13.129
having a couple of attempts at your names with a
21
00:01:13.209 --> 00:01:15.989
cheese string in her mouth, might I add. Long-time listener
22
00:01:16.030 --> 00:01:18.370
since lockdown where we had the stress of four different
23
00:01:18.430 --> 00:01:22.180
wedding dates originally meant to be getting married in March 2020.
24
00:01:22.180 --> 00:01:26.200
eventually december 2021 call me mad going to enter the
25
00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:30.120
three kids under four club in november oldest being additional
26
00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:33.680
needs to add to the crazy of our non-stop dairy
27
00:01:33.739 --> 00:01:36.459
farm with 300.
28
00:01:35.299 --> 00:01:39.390
Cows cheese cheese strings i think you're a fan.
29
00:01:39.829 --> 00:01:42.650
Uh was in the day i can't see myself eating
30
00:01:42.730 --> 00:01:43.230
one now.
31
00:01:43.530 --> 00:01:45.250
No i think eating a cheese string as an adult
32
00:01:45.370 --> 00:01:48.969
is um i'd say there's other more accessible i think
33
00:01:49.340 --> 00:01:51.439
The problem with cheese for a child is cutting it
34
00:01:51.480 --> 00:01:53.299
with a knife. As an adult, you should be allowed
35
00:01:53.319 --> 00:01:56.379
to do a grater or a sharp knife. I think
36
00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:58.840
the cheese string really excels with children, like the Babybel.
37
00:01:59.260 --> 00:02:03.540
They can peel, chomp. I'm not a Babybel fan. Too
38
00:02:03.560 --> 00:02:05.799
claggy for my tastes. Too thick.
39
00:02:05.959 --> 00:02:08.310
I like a thin cheese. Okay.
40
00:02:08.539 --> 00:02:12.169
Well, what if the Babybel was cut into thin slices?
41
00:02:12.550 --> 00:02:14.569
I could deal with that, but I've never seen someone
42
00:02:14.629 --> 00:02:15.590
cut up a Babybel.
43
00:02:16.009 --> 00:02:16.310
There you go.
44
00:02:16.310 --> 00:02:16.729
I've said it.
45
00:02:18.009 --> 00:02:20.389
But you always have to be thin.
46
00:02:20.569 --> 00:02:22.289
I don't like it in a sandwich when you get
47
00:02:22.870 --> 00:02:25.530
like a big chunk of cheese in a sandwich. Do
48
00:02:25.550 --> 00:02:26.129
you like mature?
49
00:02:27.090 --> 00:02:27.620
I like mature.
50
00:02:27.629 --> 00:02:28.479
I like a strong cheese.
51
00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:32.520
I'm going to throw something at you. Pilgrim's Choice. Of
52
00:02:32.580 --> 00:02:36.199
course you love it. Cut you and you bleed yellow
53
00:02:36.259 --> 00:02:38.860
and green and white and red, obviously. Should we do
54
00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:42.319
a quick bit of correspondence before we do the best stuff?
55
00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:44.500
Hit me with a quick bit of correspondence.
56
00:02:44.990 --> 00:02:48.250
On the topic of snogging your partner, dear relatable Rob
57
00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:50.759
and Josh, recently on a podcast, you asked if there
58
00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:53.360
was anyone who still snogged their partners for no reason
59
00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:56.039
other than the kids. Me and my hubby have been
60
00:02:56.060 --> 00:02:58.819
married for 10 years and have three young children. We
61
00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.379
are still very much in the trenches of an eight-year-old,
62
00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:04.259
a four-year-old and a one-year-old. We have basically had a
63
00:03:04.300 --> 00:03:07.280
baby for eight years. This means our time alone is
64
00:03:07.319 --> 00:03:10.710
very rare and home life is chaotic. Sometimes me and
65
00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:12.830
the hub How do you feel about being referred to
66
00:03:12.870 --> 00:03:14.270
as a hub, being a hub?
67
00:03:14.550 --> 00:03:15.750
Didn't like it.
68
00:03:15.789 --> 00:03:17.960
I sort of forget I'm a husband, not in a
69
00:03:17.979 --> 00:03:18.360
bad way.
70
00:03:18.439 --> 00:03:20.199
Well, I know. I've seen you on a night out, Rob.
71
00:03:20.500 --> 00:03:22.740
Put that wedding ring in your pocket and before you
72
00:03:22.759 --> 00:03:22.960
know it.
73
00:03:22.979 --> 00:03:25.900
This is a problem for me. I reject anything, and
74
00:03:25.939 --> 00:03:28.219
I still don't know why, I reject anything that makes
75
00:03:28.259 --> 00:03:31.710
me labelled. I hate a label when someone says you're
76
00:03:31.729 --> 00:03:34.770
a member of our club or you're a husband. It's weird.
77
00:03:34.810 --> 00:03:35.430
I don't know what it is.
78
00:03:35.449 --> 00:03:37.250
You're from Kent. Kentonian.
79
00:03:37.689 --> 00:03:39.949
This means our time alone is very rare. Sometimes me
80
00:03:39.990 --> 00:03:42.280
and the hub manage to get the same tube to
81
00:03:42.310 --> 00:03:44.979
work in the mornings. This is 30 minutes we get
82
00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:49.039
alone together with hundreds of other Londoners, but hey-ho, this
83
00:03:49.099 --> 00:03:49.990
is mental.
84
00:03:50.409 --> 00:03:50.590
No.
85
00:03:51.229 --> 00:03:55.240
So we snog on any escalator we ride together on
86
00:03:55.280 --> 00:04:00.080
the tube network, sometimes two to three snogos before we
87
00:04:00.139 --> 00:04:02.439
reach the bottom top of the stairs.
88
00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:03.219
Oh, my God.
89
00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:05.979
The snogs don't lead anywhere. Well, they do at the
90
00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:06.759
end of the circle line.
91
00:04:06.819 --> 00:04:09.909
Yeah. I do. The circle line is the anus.
92
00:04:10.349 --> 00:04:13.680
The Bakerloo. That's the anus. The circle line is the vagina.
93
00:04:13.860 --> 00:04:16.779
The Bakerloo and then the cockfosters is the fucking ramrod cock.
94
00:04:17.319 --> 00:04:19.800
The snogs don't lead anywhere for obvious reasons, but we
95
00:04:19.860 --> 00:04:25.170
feel like cheeky school children. Bring back snogging. Hashtag bring
96
00:04:25.189 --> 00:04:25.750
back snogging.
97
00:04:25.990 --> 00:04:27.310
Hashtag bring back snogging.
98
00:04:27.589 --> 00:04:28.910
I find it awkward, but I feel like I'm in
99
00:04:28.930 --> 00:04:31.209
the wrong. I don't want to snog in the morning.
100
00:04:31.470 --> 00:04:33.500
When you were up at 4.45 a.m.
101
00:04:33.509 --> 00:04:35.269
With Lou, did you go, shall we have a snog?
102
00:04:35.569 --> 00:04:40.100
I went, shall we have? Since we've got three hours.
103
00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:43.120
Shall we snog? No, let's just sit in our coffees,
104
00:04:43.300 --> 00:04:47.459
face away from each other, scroll till they wake up. Oh,
105
00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:51.060
by the way as well, the Solidarity or Solid Karen,
106
00:04:51.779 --> 00:04:54.939
should it be called Parenting Help or Parenting Hell from Laura?
107
00:04:54.959 --> 00:04:56.660
Yeah. Oh, that's much nicer.
108
00:04:56.860 --> 00:04:57.620
Should we do the best of?
109
00:04:58.060 --> 00:04:58.579
Yeah, here we go.
110
00:04:58.579 --> 00:05:01.060
We're having a little break for the summer holidays because
111
00:05:01.100 --> 00:05:03.720
we're too busy with the kids and Michael's at the
112
00:05:03.740 --> 00:05:05.279
World Cup. So we're having a little couple of week break.
113
00:05:05.720 --> 00:05:06.660
Here are some of the best ofs.
114
00:05:09.959 --> 00:05:12.120
John Bishop, hello. Hey, lads.
115
00:05:12.279 --> 00:05:15.120
How are you? This is quite exciting for us because...
116
00:05:15.730 --> 00:05:18.310
We see we've seen you in another world now. You're
117
00:05:18.329 --> 00:05:21.189
the John Bishop from comedy that we we know and love.
118
00:05:21.529 --> 00:05:23.649
But now you've got your foot in the right hand
119
00:05:23.689 --> 00:05:26.250
lane of Hollywood and you're doing press for like a
120
00:05:26.290 --> 00:05:29.709
big Hollywood movie where normally it would be your stand up.
121
00:05:30.050 --> 00:05:31.689
Who have we got today? Have we got the Hollywood
122
00:05:32.310 --> 00:05:35.620
John Bishop or have we got. Comedy John Bishop. Comedy
123
00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:39.180
John Bishop wouldn't be here. Let's be honest.
124
00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:39.379
Yes.
125
00:05:39.759 --> 00:05:43.170
You were there. We've done 600 shows. I've never been on.
126
00:05:43.189 --> 00:05:44.730
Have you been asked?
127
00:05:44.769 --> 00:05:45.329
We've been asked.
128
00:05:45.370 --> 00:05:47.829
You've never asked me. I've got the text. Why don't
129
00:05:47.870 --> 00:05:50.310
you send me a text? I bet you haven't.
130
00:05:50.509 --> 00:05:54.379
I bet you haven't got a text asking me.
131
00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:56.620
Because we had a lot of requests as well. After
132
00:05:56.639 --> 00:05:58.980
you've documented someone out, a lot of requests we've asked
133
00:05:59.019 --> 00:06:01.699
before then and after. But let's face it, you don't
134
00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:02.420
need any help selling tickets.
135
00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:04.569
You wouldn't believe this. You wouldn't believe this.
136
00:06:04.610 --> 00:06:05.250
Have you been lying?
137
00:06:05.889 --> 00:06:09.230
No, look, this isn't even a lie. This is mad.
138
00:06:10.930 --> 00:06:12.670
Look at the bottom thing. I've sent it.
139
00:06:13.410 --> 00:06:13.649
When?
140
00:06:14.350 --> 00:06:14.850
Hey, mate.
141
00:06:15.470 --> 00:06:17.230
I hope you're well. Would you fancy coming on the
142
00:06:17.269 --> 00:06:19.449
podcast I do with Beckett about parenting? It's an easy
143
00:06:19.470 --> 00:06:22.329
45-minute chat. Complain about being a parent, and of course,
144
00:06:22.709 --> 00:06:24.819
you'd be a perfect guest. We've added Michael Sheen, Robbie Williams,
145
00:06:24.839 --> 00:06:27.620
Jonathan Ross, etc. So it isn't shit, and you can
146
00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:29.439
promote anything you want.
147
00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:30.399
It hasn't sent.
148
00:06:31.139 --> 00:06:31.339
No.
149
00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:31.779
It hasn't sent!
150
00:06:31.860 --> 00:06:32.339
Oh, Josh!
151
00:06:35.709 --> 00:06:37.100
I never got delivered.
152
00:06:38.259 --> 00:06:40.240
Oh, I am so fucking happy.
153
00:06:40.439 --> 00:06:43.329
From the 2nd of June, 2023. And you never tried twice.
154
00:06:49.189 --> 00:06:51.139
Was that 21? 21 or 23?
155
00:06:51.139 --> 00:06:51.529
21.
156
00:06:51.529 --> 00:06:56.250
So it was only a year in? Yeah, only a
157
00:06:56.269 --> 00:07:01.209
year in. Only a year in and now... And now
158
00:07:01.269 --> 00:07:04.970
you're graced us with your, I imagine, contractual obligations. LAUGHTER
159
00:07:07.970 --> 00:07:11.050
I went, listen, them twats have never asked me. They
160
00:07:11.089 --> 00:07:13.290
don't want me on. They don't want me on. I've
161
00:07:13.310 --> 00:07:15.649
been saying to Beckett, Bishops ghosted me.
162
00:07:15.689 --> 00:07:18.189
Bishops absolutely didn't reply to the text.
163
00:07:18.490 --> 00:07:20.050
That is so funny.
164
00:07:20.110 --> 00:07:20.490
Isn't it?
165
00:07:20.589 --> 00:07:22.490
Oh, that's really pissed on the back foot now. You
166
00:07:22.509 --> 00:07:22.769
know what?
167
00:07:22.790 --> 00:07:27.430
Because it is funny because obviously with my stand-up, I've spoke,
168
00:07:27.629 --> 00:07:30.209
as you have, about having kids and all that stuff.
169
00:07:30.230 --> 00:07:33.050
And I've listened to this a few times. And I've thought...
170
00:07:34.899 --> 00:07:40.649
They've obviously just not bothered. LAUGHTER Oh, well, at least
171
00:07:40.670 --> 00:07:42.370
we could put that to bed then. That's the best
172
00:07:42.389 --> 00:07:44.089
thing that could have happened. We don't look bad.
173
00:07:44.129 --> 00:07:45.110
You don't look bad.
174
00:07:45.329 --> 00:07:47.550
I don't look bad. I feel great now. The thing is,
175
00:07:47.610 --> 00:07:49.800
me and him bumped into each other at Glastonbury. I
176
00:07:49.839 --> 00:07:52.160
was going, all right, Josh, that's useful. I was going, twat.
177
00:07:52.240 --> 00:07:56.370
LAUGHTER So we thought you'd ghosted us, but we'd actually
178
00:07:56.629 --> 00:08:01.129
not ghosted you. We did just not invite you. Yeah, sorry.
179
00:08:01.350 --> 00:08:04.740
But we wanted you. We thought we've had a five-year beef,
180
00:08:04.779 --> 00:08:09.199
but now look, it's been four. This feels like we've
181
00:08:09.220 --> 00:08:10.240
settled something.
182
00:08:10.259 --> 00:08:11.060
Don't it?
183
00:08:11.060 --> 00:08:12.199
How many kids you got, John? Let's get that out
184
00:08:12.220 --> 00:08:12.639
of the way for us.
185
00:08:12.639 --> 00:08:13.819
Three. Three. Ages?
186
00:08:14.139 --> 00:08:14.490
Joel's 31.
187
00:08:14.470 --> 00:08:14.519
31?
188
00:08:14.500 --> 00:08:23.100
Luke's 29. 29. And Daniel's 28. I don't want to
189
00:08:23.180 --> 00:08:24.980
start licking your arse now. We know that we don't
190
00:08:25.019 --> 00:08:26.319
all hate each other, but you look good.
191
00:08:28.060 --> 00:08:29.420
What's your skincare regime, John?
192
00:08:30.019 --> 00:08:31.529
My skincare regime?
193
00:08:31.610 --> 00:08:33.909
I got asked that on another podcast what my skincare
194
00:08:33.929 --> 00:08:34.870
regime was.
195
00:08:34.950 --> 00:08:36.889
One that actually invited you?
196
00:08:36.909 --> 00:08:42.210
Yeah, they were all over it. This is true, this.
197
00:08:42.490 --> 00:08:46.080
I haven't washed my face for years. I don't use soap.
198
00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:48.980
And I found I was allergic to salt when I
199
00:08:48.980 --> 00:08:53.080
was younger, so most days, if I wash my face.
200
00:08:52.940 --> 00:08:59.279
At all, it's just with water. But I've always moisturised. Right, okay.
201
00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:04.019
Always moisturised, but all of this scrubs and all that,
202
00:09:04.039 --> 00:09:06.100
I don't really get into all of that. What moisturiser
203
00:09:06.279 --> 00:09:07.799
are you using?
204
00:09:08.019 --> 00:09:11.159
What am I using at the moment? Whatever's there. Like
205
00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:13.000
a Kiehl's thing. Yeah, but I did that.
206
00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:13.559
No, hang on.
207
00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:15.500
Let me think of a brand who might send some shit.
208
00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:19.809
Kielce is quite good, Brad. I use some of my
209
00:09:19.850 --> 00:09:21.509
wife's moisturiser, but you've got to be careful, because some
210
00:09:21.549 --> 00:09:23.029
of it has, like, the tanning in.
211
00:09:23.450 --> 00:09:24.289
Yeah, the tinting.
212
00:09:24.370 --> 00:09:26.629
Oh, yeah, the tinting. And I started going, I look well,
213
00:09:26.710 --> 00:09:29.279
and then it escalates into your thumpalumpa.
214
00:09:29.299 --> 00:09:29.679
Yeah, yeah.
215
00:09:30.179 --> 00:09:31.899
Okay, so water and moisturiser.
216
00:09:32.059 --> 00:09:35.320
Yeah, yeah, that's it, to be honest. But also, the
217
00:09:35.620 --> 00:09:37.750
other thing is, I've never smoked.
218
00:09:38.710 --> 00:09:41.129
And I don't eat meat. I haven't eaten meat for
219
00:09:41.129 --> 00:09:43.370
40 years. Does meat make your face go dry?
220
00:09:43.389 --> 00:09:48.210
I don't know, but some people have said that eating
221
00:09:48.370 --> 00:09:50.909
meat can atrophy your skin.
222
00:09:51.090 --> 00:09:55.110
I don't know why. Do you drink?
223
00:09:55.149 --> 00:09:55.389
Yeah.
224
00:09:55.409 --> 00:09:56.950
You know what I mean. I'm not good at everything.
225
00:09:57.929 --> 00:09:59.590
We had an interview with Ray Bradshaw. I'm not sure
226
00:09:59.629 --> 00:10:02.429
it's gone out. yet, who did your tour support. Yeah, yeah.
227
00:10:02.450 --> 00:10:04.389
And he said he supported Frankie Boyle for weeks and
228
00:10:04.500 --> 00:10:06.250
you sort of just took him to the gig, brought
229
00:10:06.289 --> 00:10:08.360
him back and then went, bye Frankie. And then the
230
00:10:08.399 --> 00:10:09.720
first gig you went, do you want to go pub?
231
00:10:10.610 --> 00:10:12.860
Hit me with that drink, I love you. And he said,
232
00:10:12.889 --> 00:10:14.720
how generous you are. And you looked after him and
233
00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:16.340
all his mates and took him out till five in
234
00:10:16.379 --> 00:10:19.519
the morning. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Ray's
235
00:10:19.539 --> 00:10:21.460
a great lad, a great lad. And his mum and
236
00:10:21.480 --> 00:10:22.340
dad are so funny.
237
00:10:22.379 --> 00:10:27.059
Ray's dad is so funny because I went to his
238
00:10:27.139 --> 00:10:30.759
deaf club. So for people who don't know, Ray's mum
239
00:10:30.820 --> 00:10:32.080
and dad are deaf.
240
00:10:32.559 --> 00:10:34.919
And so Ray's first language is sign language.
241
00:10:35.750 --> 00:10:40.370
And he took me to his dad's deaf club in Glasgow.
242
00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:44.279
Thinking I'd know enough sign language to be able to
243
00:10:44.299 --> 00:10:44.759
get by.
244
00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:46.019
Jesus Christ.
245
00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:53.149
Because their generation, Ray's dad's generation, they don't sign, they spell.
246
00:10:54.330 --> 00:10:56.070
They spell really fast.
247
00:10:56.110 --> 00:10:57.970
And the problem is I can't spell in my head
248
00:10:57.990 --> 00:11:00.149
because that's my form of dyslexia.
249
00:11:00.190 --> 00:11:00.789
I can't spell.
250
00:11:00.809 --> 00:11:04.149
So when I do sign language, any time someone says,
251
00:11:04.169 --> 00:11:07.029
I can't spell it, you'll have to write that bit down.
252
00:11:07.370 --> 00:11:08.730
I can't spell in my head.
253
00:11:09.740 --> 00:11:09.960
I know.
254
00:11:11.149 --> 00:11:14.330
But he took me to his deaf club.
255
00:11:14.629 --> 00:11:18.450
His dad, and it's so funny being in a room
256
00:11:18.970 --> 00:11:22.830
full of older deaf people. Do you know what I mean?
257
00:11:22.870 --> 00:11:26.690
Like being in a room with your granddads, but the sign,
258
00:11:27.090 --> 00:11:28.320
and no one's waiting, and then they go.
259
00:11:28.379 --> 00:11:29.340
LAUGHTER.
260
00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:38.309
He's so funny, but his dad's got a really dry
261
00:11:38.350 --> 00:11:39.590
sense of humour.
262
00:11:39.830 --> 00:11:40.190
Amazing.
263
00:11:40.210 --> 00:11:43.980
He did this incredible documentary, which I did text you about. Yeah.
264
00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:46.580
Did that go through? Yeah, that did go through. about
265
00:11:46.620 --> 00:11:49.559
your son, which was just one of the best documentaries
266
00:11:49.580 --> 00:11:50.460
I've seen in years.
267
00:11:50.620 --> 00:11:51.240
Oh, thank you.
268
00:11:51.539 --> 00:11:54.940
I loved it. So your son is going deaf or he's.
269
00:11:55.379 --> 00:12:01.639
My son Joe lost his hearing when he was about 15, 16,
270
00:12:01.639 --> 00:12:08.279
and it fluctuated, so he didn't go deaf. It fluctuated
271
00:12:08.379 --> 00:12:12.090
over a period of time, which was difficult because he
272
00:12:12.120 --> 00:12:15.730
was a teenager. And so, you know, you think your
273
00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:17.490
teenagers aren't listening to you anyway.
274
00:12:18.110 --> 00:12:20.049
And he wasn't because he couldn't hear me.
275
00:12:20.429 --> 00:12:23.789
But also when he was speaking, he'd speak loud because
276
00:12:23.809 --> 00:12:25.389
he couldn't hear his own voice. So it sounded like
277
00:12:25.409 --> 00:12:27.669
he was shouting at us all the time. And we
278
00:12:27.700 --> 00:12:31.200
went through this awful, awful period. And it was an
279
00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:37.039
awful period. As a parent, I did what men do.
280
00:12:37.059 --> 00:12:40.110
I thought, we'll fix this.
281
00:12:40.850 --> 00:12:41.149
Yeah.
282
00:12:42.149 --> 00:12:45.389
And really, if I look back on it, if I
283
00:12:45.429 --> 00:12:49.899
could have any period of my life again, it would
284
00:12:49.919 --> 00:12:52.539
be that period where I think I would be a
285
00:12:52.580 --> 00:12:56.429
better dad because I didn't just put my arms around him.
286
00:12:56.919 --> 00:12:57.600
I didn't.
287
00:12:59.009 --> 00:12:59.610
Really.
288
00:12:59.629 --> 00:13:03.009
I thought I did, but I don't think I always
289
00:13:03.090 --> 00:13:04.690
asked him how he was.
290
00:13:05.509 --> 00:13:08.570
I just thought, all right, well, that's not working. Let's
291
00:13:08.629 --> 00:13:09.110
fix that.
292
00:13:09.149 --> 00:13:11.529
So we went through the process of trying to find
293
00:13:12.690 --> 00:13:17.220
the reason for it, et cetera. And I ended up
294
00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:20.820
being diagnosed with a rare autoimmune condition.
295
00:13:21.159 --> 00:13:24.360
And whether that diagnosis was completely right or what, you'd
296
00:13:24.460 --> 00:13:25.000
never know.
297
00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:29.000
But in the end, his hearing is stabilized to about
298
00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:29.120
75% loss.
299
00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:29.659
So.
300
00:13:32.419 --> 00:13:36.860
With hearing aids, he can hear conversations and he's brilliant
301
00:13:36.919 --> 00:13:39.840
at lip reading. And, you know, if an alarm went off,
302
00:13:39.860 --> 00:13:40.440
he wouldn't hear it.
303
00:13:41.179 --> 00:13:41.980
Yes.
304
00:13:42.299 --> 00:13:45.870
So he's within the band of conversation that he's got.
305
00:13:47.090 --> 00:13:50.929
But it meant for a period of time as a family,
306
00:13:50.950 --> 00:13:56.649
it was difficult because... you don't know anyone of that world.
307
00:13:56.690 --> 00:13:57.450
You don't know.
308
00:13:58.610 --> 00:14:02.929
And because if he was deaf, you'd say, okay, well,
309
00:14:02.990 --> 00:14:06.809
he was a deaf person, but he wasn't deaf. He
310
00:14:06.870 --> 00:14:08.970
could hear, but he couldn't go to Glastonbury. He wouldn't
311
00:14:09.029 --> 00:14:11.029
go to Glastonbury. He wouldn't go to a nightclub. So
312
00:14:11.049 --> 00:14:17.559
you're in this thing that took us a long time,
313
00:14:17.580 --> 00:14:20.480
I think, to resolve. But one of the things that
314
00:14:21.460 --> 00:14:24.730
I thought might be a way of I don't.
315
00:14:24.649 --> 00:14:27.009
Know, communicating better would be.
316
00:14:27.450 --> 00:14:34.320
And also because of his hearing loss may become complete
317
00:14:34.340 --> 00:14:39.480
because we don't really know why it started. And that's, again,
318
00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:43.480
that's an anxiety that I've perhaps not always understood that
319
00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:46.580
he's lived thinking that one day he might wake up
320
00:14:46.679 --> 00:14:47.759
and be completely deaf.
321
00:14:47.799 --> 00:14:48.419
Yeah, yeah.
322
00:14:48.820 --> 00:14:53.679
That's... That's tough for anyone to take. And that's at
323
00:14:53.799 --> 00:14:58.909
times like he's, he's always, he's a brilliant mimic and
324
00:14:58.950 --> 00:15:01.129
he'd be a brilliant actor, but he's always held off
325
00:15:01.590 --> 00:15:03.750
because he's thought, what if I can't hear what's being said?
326
00:15:03.850 --> 00:15:08.360
And thankfully he's now embracing that. He's going to start
327
00:15:08.389 --> 00:15:11.500
going forward and doing stuff like that. He's just sort
328
00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:15.360
of gained his confidence over time, but it's took time and, and,
329
00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:19.679
But we did this documentary, and the premise of the
330
00:15:19.720 --> 00:15:23.019
documentary would be that I would learn enough sign language
331
00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:27.500
to do a gig to a deaf audience. And when
332
00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:29.120
we were making it, he said, well, you need to
333
00:15:29.159 --> 00:15:31.639
explain why you've got this interest. Because I was trying
334
00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:36.240
to do it to, I suppose, learn about that community
335
00:15:36.299 --> 00:15:38.899
and maybe show him that there was a community out there.
336
00:15:39.370 --> 00:15:41.490
So we got involved in it, and it became a
337
00:15:41.509 --> 00:15:43.490
thing where we both were learning.
338
00:15:43.470 --> 00:15:46.769
Sign language at the same time. It was tough.
339
00:15:47.129 --> 00:15:52.159
It was an odd documentary because, you know, as a
340
00:15:52.259 --> 00:15:56.639
father and son, we've not always been able to talk
341
00:15:57.019 --> 00:15:59.519
and then doing it via the documentary.
342
00:15:59.539 --> 00:16:01.460
That's why it was such a good documentary as well.
343
00:16:01.500 --> 00:16:02.580
It felt real, you know.
344
00:16:02.600 --> 00:16:05.460
It felt so, like I was really impressed by how
345
00:16:05.500 --> 00:16:09.399
much you exposed of your relationship and yourself. And like,
346
00:16:09.419 --> 00:16:12.299
you know, I thought you both came across so brilliantly
347
00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:16.100
in it because you're showing that kind of, regret or
348
00:16:16.159 --> 00:16:19.850
fallibility or dealing with that situation. It's tough lately.
349
00:16:22.669 --> 00:16:26.750
Being a parent is so hard because you want to
350
00:16:26.769 --> 00:16:29.029
be so good at something you don't know how to do.
351
00:16:29.429 --> 00:16:32.700
You know what I mean? It took us five years
352
00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:33.779
to get that. That's exactly.
353
00:16:34.500 --> 00:16:37.759
If only that text had got through five years ago. Exactly.
354
00:16:38.179 --> 00:16:39.899
Just think of the lessons you could be.
355
00:16:39.940 --> 00:16:43.330
You could have had the older appearance and gone five years.
356
00:16:43.769 --> 00:16:47.450
No, you are. And also... we're all parenting in a
357
00:16:47.490 --> 00:16:48.509
world we didn't live in.
358
00:16:48.629 --> 00:16:49.049
Yeah.
359
00:16:49.230 --> 00:16:51.389
You know what I mean? Social media and algorithms.
360
00:16:51.409 --> 00:16:57.139
Social media, algorithms, noise, expectation, body image, all of these things.
361
00:16:57.259 --> 00:17:00.419
And, you know, I'm thinking, you know, I'm thinking, yeah,
362
00:17:00.539 --> 00:17:03.159
I've got leukemia, you've got a weird hearing aid.
363
00:17:03.259 --> 00:17:05.220
And for him, like, as a teenage boy, all of
364
00:17:05.289 --> 00:17:08.349
a sudden he fucking stands out and he's massively different.
365
00:17:08.410 --> 00:17:10.109
And I just....
366
00:17:11.140 --> 00:17:12.200
And I'm also older.
367
00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:12.920
Yeah.
368
00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:14.970
You know what I mean? Like, how old are you?
369
00:17:15.549 --> 00:17:18.329
I'm 40 now. And how old are your kids? Eight
370
00:17:18.369 --> 00:17:18.750
and ten.
371
00:17:19.210 --> 00:17:23.140
And 42 and eight and four. Yeah, yeah.
372
00:17:23.559 --> 00:17:27.819
So I was 27 when Joe was born. You know
373
00:17:27.859 --> 00:17:29.609
what I mean? I was 31 by the time we
374
00:17:29.619 --> 00:17:30.109
had three.
375
00:17:30.569 --> 00:17:30.869
God.
376
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:32.230
Yeah, I'm 59 now.
377
00:17:32.490 --> 00:17:36.970
And so when you're 59, you'll be a better version
378
00:17:36.990 --> 00:17:43.549
of yourself because you just know more and you're softer.
379
00:17:43.690 --> 00:17:47.309
And I think it's not that you love more. You
380
00:17:47.329 --> 00:17:53.940
can't love more, but you understand a little bit What
381
00:17:53.980 --> 00:17:54.880
the language of it is.
382
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:02.700
Let's talk about your kids.
383
00:18:03.140 --> 00:18:03.880
Okay, yes.
384
00:18:04.420 --> 00:18:04.960
Two kids.
385
00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:05.640
I have two.
386
00:18:05.700 --> 00:18:06.839
The Wikipedia wasn't updated.
387
00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:07.400
Yeah.
388
00:18:07.700 --> 00:18:08.140
I don't know why.
389
00:18:08.180 --> 00:18:08.720
Do you know what?
390
00:18:08.769 --> 00:18:10.910
Wikipedia is weird. Some of the things that are on there,
391
00:18:10.930 --> 00:18:11.210
I'm like.
392
00:18:11.230 --> 00:18:13.490
They're getting a bit aggy because of AI now.
393
00:18:13.509 --> 00:18:14.869
You've got a strong Wikipedia.
394
00:18:14.990 --> 00:18:16.269
I don't know who's updating that.
395
00:18:16.289 --> 00:18:17.039
Who updates it?
396
00:18:17.720 --> 00:18:18.779
Well, points.
397
00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:19.519
The people.
398
00:18:19.640 --> 00:18:20.200
Fans.
399
00:18:20.380 --> 00:18:21.640
Fans.
400
00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:24.420
It was so good, your Wikipedia points, that I thought,
401
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.440
she's written her own Wikipedia.
402
00:18:26.460 --> 00:18:28.019
I swear to God I have not touched it.
403
00:18:28.059 --> 00:18:29.769
No, obviously, because you write the right amount of kids.
404
00:18:29.809 --> 00:18:32.029
Exactly true. True, that's proof. There you go.
405
00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:34.089
It's hard to remember two kids when you've got 32
406
00:18:34.089 --> 00:18:34.609
songs in a moment.
407
00:18:34.630 --> 00:18:36.190
You've got some really extreme fans.
408
00:18:36.410 --> 00:18:37.630
I do.
409
00:18:37.690 --> 00:18:39.410
I'm on a telegram with them, actually. We have a
410
00:18:39.410 --> 00:18:40.589
telegram account.
411
00:18:40.609 --> 00:18:42.549
You're on a telegram? Just to know what that means.
412
00:18:42.569 --> 00:18:43.529
Do you know what a telegram is?
413
00:18:44.369 --> 00:18:45.869
It's a social media account.
414
00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:51.059
So Josh, it's a group where you can connect with
415
00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:51.839
fans on a deeper level.
416
00:18:51.859 --> 00:18:52.619
Like a WhatsApp group?
417
00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:54.579
Very much so, but not so personal.
418
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:55.460
But not so personal.
419
00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:56.539
Yeah, because you can't see numbers.
420
00:18:56.559 --> 00:18:57.940
So what kind of, can they reply?
421
00:18:58.119 --> 00:19:00.180
They can, yeah, yeah. It's like a proper like chat group.
422
00:19:00.680 --> 00:19:02.039
And do they know it's you? Oh yeah, they know
423
00:19:02.059 --> 00:19:02.259
it's me.
424
00:19:02.279 --> 00:19:03.369
So they can see who each person is?
425
00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:05.740
We just chat rubbish, to be honest with you. Well,
426
00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:07.410
you should get a telegram. You should.
427
00:19:07.430 --> 00:19:08.369
Parenting Hill telegram.
428
00:19:08.430 --> 00:19:08.809
Yeah.
429
00:19:08.950 --> 00:19:11.549
I do feel like your followers might be quite unhinged, though.
430
00:19:12.390 --> 00:19:13.670
I'd be a bit worried.
431
00:19:13.690 --> 00:19:15.339
Anything to do with parenting, there's a waste of 5%
432
00:19:15.339 --> 00:19:17.259
that are quite intense either way.
433
00:19:17.740 --> 00:19:19.359
That's the thing with parenting as well. I feel like
434
00:19:19.380 --> 00:19:21.740
when it's in a public forum, someone's always got something
435
00:19:21.779 --> 00:19:22.309
to say.
436
00:19:22.329 --> 00:19:22.400
Yeah.
437
00:19:22.859 --> 00:19:25.200
That really does annoy me. Like, if you're on TikTok
438
00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:26.619
and it's like a parenting video.
439
00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:27.240
Oh, my God.
440
00:19:27.259 --> 00:19:29.859
They just, they're awful. I'm like, they're the.
441
00:19:29.819 --> 00:19:31.980
Worst trolls of all, I think. A lot of them
442
00:19:32.009 --> 00:19:33.589
are like, you know, know-it-all parents.
443
00:19:33.730 --> 00:19:36.289
But you'll get grief for like, say, for example, if
444
00:19:36.329 --> 00:19:37.910
I went on TikTok and said, oh, I took my
445
00:19:37.930 --> 00:19:39.289
daughter to the park, went on the side, she only
446
00:19:39.349 --> 00:19:41.509
slipped off and like hit her head. And someone would go,
447
00:19:41.509 --> 00:19:44.410
terrible parenting. It's ridiculous. Or they will go, oh, pandering. Oh,
448
00:19:44.410 --> 00:19:46.259
my God. You cuddled her when she cried. Do you
449
00:19:46.259 --> 00:19:47.730
know what really triggers people?
450
00:19:47.730 --> 00:19:49.680
Do you know what? We're not getting a telegram. No,
451
00:19:49.720 --> 00:19:51.279
don't get a telegram. I'm getting a telegram actually. I
452
00:19:51.299 --> 00:19:53.579
think what really triggers people the most is seeing mums
453
00:19:53.740 --> 00:19:56.240
do the cry out method. Like if you're letting your
454
00:19:56.279 --> 00:19:56.839
child cry.
455
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:57.880
Yes, that is a big thing.
456
00:19:59.009 --> 00:19:59.269
Triggering.
457
00:19:59.289 --> 00:20:00.609
So how old are you? You've got an eight-month-old.
458
00:20:00.630 --> 00:20:02.930
Sorry, yeah, back to my children. I have an eight-month-old.
459
00:20:03.049 --> 00:20:03.630
Yeah.
460
00:20:03.670 --> 00:20:04.990
Tari, my daughter.
461
00:20:05.049 --> 00:20:05.490
Three-year-old?
462
00:20:05.799 --> 00:20:06.480
And a two-year-old.
463
00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:06.920
Two-year-old.
464
00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:07.380
TJ.
465
00:20:07.460 --> 00:20:08.880
So where are they at this moment?
466
00:20:08.940 --> 00:20:11.740
Right now, TJ's at nursery and Tari's at home with
467
00:20:11.779 --> 00:20:12.119
her dad.
468
00:20:12.549 --> 00:20:13.349
Oh, wow. Yeah.
469
00:20:14.029 --> 00:20:14.640
Mum, stay out.
470
00:20:14.650 --> 00:20:17.029
So how are you splitting the work? Stay out. No
471
00:20:17.130 --> 00:20:18.089
one is so pleased.
472
00:20:17.910 --> 00:20:19.049
To be here. I'm so happy to be here.
473
00:20:19.069 --> 00:20:22.250
I got the calls out here. See you later, guys.
474
00:20:22.309 --> 00:20:23.150
I'm off to work.
475
00:20:23.390 --> 00:20:23.650
I love it.
476
00:20:23.650 --> 00:20:25.470
So who would be the default parent? Are you splitting
477
00:20:25.509 --> 00:20:25.640
it 50-50?
478
00:20:25.769 --> 00:20:28.049
To be fair, we split everything. Because we both kind
479
00:20:28.130 --> 00:20:30.009
of work from home. My husband is like a car
480
00:20:30.029 --> 00:20:33.670
content creator. He's incredible. He's a really famous TikToker. Like
481
00:20:33.690 --> 00:20:35.279
when we're in the street, people push me out of
482
00:20:35.299 --> 00:20:35.559
the way.
483
00:20:36.279 --> 00:20:37.019
Oh, really?
484
00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:37.480
Seriously.
485
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:38.240
What's his name?
486
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:38.720
Tommy.
487
00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:39.819
Tommy Alto.
488
00:20:40.759 --> 00:20:44.980
So, you combine your parenting, because you're both working from home.
489
00:20:45.019 --> 00:20:45.200
Yeah.
490
00:20:45.859 --> 00:20:48.369
With your job, then, if you're writing songs and stuff,
491
00:20:48.410 --> 00:20:51.150
or producing, is that not one of those things where
492
00:20:51.190 --> 00:20:52.960
you need to, like, disappear into it?
493
00:20:53.009 --> 00:20:55.549
Oh, my God, 100%. It's really hard. There's different elements
494
00:20:55.589 --> 00:20:57.289
to what I do. If I'm finishing a song and
495
00:20:57.309 --> 00:20:59.930
tweaking it, then my kids can be in the room. Like,
496
00:21:00.170 --> 00:21:05.160
my daughter, Tari, is so growly, though. Like, she's... She
497
00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:06.019
growls all the time.
498
00:21:06.099 --> 00:21:08.099
You sampling her? She have.
499
00:21:08.180 --> 00:21:10.599
I really, really have. I don't get why she's so growly.
500
00:21:10.619 --> 00:21:11.640
What do you mean growly?
501
00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:14.480
She's just been growling since birth. That's just her vibe.
502
00:21:14.500 --> 00:21:16.200
So my brother Joe was always like.
503
00:21:16.220 --> 00:21:17.119
That's what growling means.
504
00:21:17.140 --> 00:21:17.839
She growls.
505
00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:21.349
She growls. But he was always quite a miserable child.
506
00:21:21.460 --> 00:21:21.960
Really?
507
00:21:22.009 --> 00:21:24.289
Like my mum would say, he was always a bit like... Yeah,
508
00:21:24.309 --> 00:21:24.990
like quite chilled.
509
00:21:25.029 --> 00:21:28.009
Some kids are just on their own energy. She's really
510
00:21:28.049 --> 00:21:30.529
happy though, but she just growls. In happiness, she growls.
511
00:21:30.789 --> 00:21:31.809
She'd be like.
512
00:21:31.849 --> 00:21:35.000
Have you seen... That's really weird. Get Back, the Beatles
513
00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:37.160
film where they're making Let It Be, and there's a
514
00:21:37.180 --> 00:21:42.240
bit where they're listening back and Linda McCartney's son, or daughter,
515
00:21:42.259 --> 00:21:43.140
I think it is, daughter.
516
00:21:43.160 --> 00:21:45.019
I was going to say Linda McCartney's sausages were sizzling.
517
00:21:45.059 --> 00:21:48.059
Linda McCartney's sausages were sizzling. I can't hear anything, Linda.
518
00:21:49.259 --> 00:21:50.980
Shut the door. It'll never take off.
519
00:21:52.700 --> 00:21:56.369
Linda's daughter's in the... mixing room just playing around them
520
00:21:56.390 --> 00:21:58.630
and I just thought that must be so.
521
00:21:58.390 --> 00:22:00.029
Do you know what it's not one of those jobs
522
00:22:00.069 --> 00:22:02.250
where I think you can bring kids to work very
523
00:22:02.349 --> 00:22:04.349
easily like it's just not that kind of vibe you
524
00:22:04.369 --> 00:22:05.849
do need to kind of be in the zone and
525
00:22:05.910 --> 00:22:09.170
focus and be able to like have wonderful melodies coming
526
00:22:09.190 --> 00:22:11.589
to your head without your child screaming at you yes
527
00:22:12.150 --> 00:22:14.750
yeah that's that's quite hard but I tend to work
528
00:22:14.869 --> 00:22:16.450
out of the house if I'm going to a session
529
00:22:16.470 --> 00:22:17.630
so if I'm with an artist in the room I'll
530
00:22:17.650 --> 00:22:19.630
go to like where I'm now like a studio yes
531
00:22:20.029 --> 00:22:21.299
but if I'm at home it's because I'm in my
532
00:22:21.339 --> 00:22:22.630
own zone and I'm this is a bit like laying
533
00:22:22.650 --> 00:22:26.500
down a track it is Can you lay something down
534
00:22:26.539 --> 00:22:26.940
for me now?
535
00:22:26.980 --> 00:22:27.839
But the beats love.
536
00:22:27.900 --> 00:22:29.509
Are you going to sing something for us?
537
00:22:29.539 --> 00:22:32.569
No, no, I can only talk. But it's difficult, though,
538
00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:33.809
if you are a comedian.
539
00:22:33.950 --> 00:22:34.150
Yeah.
540
00:22:34.230 --> 00:22:37.650
Because if you're introduced to the world as a comedian,
541
00:22:37.670 --> 00:22:39.809
you can't do anything that's serious.
542
00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:43.940
The greatest album of all time, right? I still don't
543
00:22:43.980 --> 00:22:45.240
think if I released it now.
544
00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:46.519
We wouldn't take you seriously.
545
00:22:46.579 --> 00:22:48.339
No, even if it was pound for pound the best.
546
00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:48.960
We wouldn't.
547
00:22:49.660 --> 00:22:51.160
That's actually really sad, isn't it?
548
00:22:51.500 --> 00:22:54.069
I know, it's my absolute trauma because you should see
549
00:22:54.089 --> 00:22:55.000
the songs I'm sitting on.
550
00:22:55.730 --> 00:22:57.250
I feel like it's kind of like Harry Potter. I
551
00:22:57.269 --> 00:22:59.869
feel like Daniel Radcliffe could never be anything else.
552
00:23:00.029 --> 00:23:02.950
No, exactly. And he didn't really shoot up enough to
553
00:23:02.990 --> 00:23:05.130
be Harry Potter, did he? That's the elephant in the room,
554
00:23:05.150 --> 00:23:06.700
isn't it? He's too little.
555
00:23:06.779 --> 00:23:07.640
I thought he meant that as well.
556
00:23:07.660 --> 00:23:08.299
What do you mean?
557
00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:08.799
I missed one.
558
00:23:08.859 --> 00:23:14.240
He didn't do enough heroin. I thought... This has gone
559
00:23:14.279 --> 00:23:14.519
so dark.
560
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:16.859
I thought it was like a child star thing.
561
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:20.900
In the books, Harry Potter turns into his six foot three.
562
00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:21.880
Tall, dark, mysterious drunk father.
563
00:23:22.049 --> 00:23:23.009
And he's not.
564
00:23:23.069 --> 00:23:26.109
He's a lovely little fellow.
565
00:23:27.309 --> 00:23:30.049
So talk to me about having an eight month old.
566
00:23:30.670 --> 00:23:31.990
What's your day like at the moment?
567
00:23:32.269 --> 00:23:32.869
You know what?
568
00:23:33.089 --> 00:23:33.569
I think.
569
00:23:33.940 --> 00:23:38.539
because this is our second child, it's chill. Because I
570
00:23:38.579 --> 00:23:41.960
know who I am now. You're experienced or you care less.
571
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:45.880
I care less. I really just have stopped caring.
572
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:47.769
Not in a bad way, though, but you're not overly worried.
573
00:23:47.789 --> 00:23:48.930
That's what we were like.
574
00:23:49.529 --> 00:23:52.130
And the key for me was with her, I sleep
575
00:23:52.170 --> 00:23:52.690
trained her.
576
00:23:53.609 --> 00:23:54.630
Oh, really?
577
00:23:54.849 --> 00:23:55.230
My gosh.
578
00:23:55.250 --> 00:23:56.750
So, right, before we get into this, can you tell
579
00:23:56.769 --> 00:23:58.430
me what you did with the first one and then
580
00:23:58.450 --> 00:23:59.529
what you did with the second one?
581
00:23:59.549 --> 00:24:02.869
Poor TJ. He was just kind of, We were so,
582
00:24:03.230 --> 00:24:06.390
you know, cautious about everything. Everything was life and death. Oh,
583
00:24:06.430 --> 00:24:08.079
my gosh, he's got a rash. Oh, my God, let's
584
00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:09.720
go to A & E. Like, we were ridiculous.
585
00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:10.400
Oh, yeah, we were that.
586
00:24:10.599 --> 00:24:11.440
You can't touch him.
587
00:24:11.460 --> 00:24:14.859
You can't touch the baby like that. I was literally, like, obsessed.
588
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:15.359
Oh, really?
589
00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:18.000
Yeah, it was so, so stupid. And when I look back,
590
00:24:18.059 --> 00:24:19.240
I'm like, oh, my God, what was I doing? It's
591
00:24:19.259 --> 00:24:21.359
my first time. You don't know any different. If my
592
00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:23.119
parents came to the house and I washed their hands,
593
00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:25.500
I would breathe fire on them. Like, how dare you
594
00:24:25.539 --> 00:24:26.240
touch this child?
595
00:24:26.299 --> 00:24:28.579
What were your parents' reaction to that? Were they like.
596
00:24:28.640 --> 00:24:29.720
Just rolling their eyes at me constantly.
597
00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:31.079
Because their generation would be like.
598
00:24:31.509 --> 00:24:33.400
And Tommy's even worse than me. My husband is even
599
00:24:33.420 --> 00:24:35.670
worse than me. He is like a hypochondriac, literally.
600
00:24:35.750 --> 00:24:35.990
Yeah.
601
00:24:36.630 --> 00:24:37.049
So, yeah.
602
00:24:37.170 --> 00:24:38.210
How clean is your car?
603
00:24:38.829 --> 00:24:41.309
They're supremely clean. He gets them clean like once every
604
00:24:41.329 --> 00:24:42.569
four days, three, four days.
605
00:24:42.849 --> 00:24:43.049
Wow.
606
00:24:43.289 --> 00:24:43.529
Yeah.
607
00:24:43.710 --> 00:24:44.910
Josh's is an absolute shit.
608
00:24:44.930 --> 00:24:49.890
Yeah, it's a fucking state. It's okay. When we got
609
00:24:49.910 --> 00:24:54.130
our cat cremated, our cat died and they gave us
610
00:24:54.190 --> 00:24:57.910
the form. The food was costing us too much. And
611
00:24:57.970 --> 00:25:02.740
it was two levels of fee. one was ashes and
612
00:25:02.779 --> 00:25:06.680
the other was the ashes of your specific cat. So
613
00:25:06.900 --> 00:25:09.000
some people who can't afford it are just paying, all
614
00:25:09.019 --> 00:25:10.759
the cats are going in and then you just get
615
00:25:10.779 --> 00:25:13.920
a bit of that. Just get some generic cat ashes.
616
00:25:15.980 --> 00:25:19.079
Welcome to the show. We had a dog, a very
617
00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:23.640
sweet dog, my wife's dog originally, and she had diabetes.
618
00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:26.089
And so you had to give these, you know, insulin injections,
619
00:25:26.119 --> 00:25:29.970
quite a responsibility. And, um, We went on holiday, and
620
00:25:30.210 --> 00:25:31.630
we were nervous about going on holiday, so we left
621
00:25:31.690 --> 00:25:34.059
it with the breeder, this lady that knew the dog
622
00:25:34.099 --> 00:25:38.339
really well. And we went away. We came back. We
623
00:25:38.380 --> 00:25:41.500
went to go and pick the dog up, and she said,
624
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:44.769
I'm afraid the dog died. I didn't want to phone
625
00:25:44.789 --> 00:25:47.430
you because I didn't want to spoil your holiday, but
626
00:25:47.470 --> 00:25:50.410
your dog died, and she handed us a receipt to
627
00:25:50.430 --> 00:25:54.829
go and pick up the ashes from the vets and
628
00:25:54.910 --> 00:25:55.990
charge us for the kenneling.
629
00:25:56.380 --> 00:25:58.589
No. Not the whole duration.
630
00:25:58.609 --> 00:26:00.170
Not the whole duration.
631
00:26:00.259 --> 00:26:00.690
Up to death.
632
00:26:00.759 --> 00:26:01.359
Up to death.
633
00:26:02.690 --> 00:26:03.150
No.
634
00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:03.599
Yeah.
635
00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:05.279
And was it a diabetes death?
636
00:26:06.059 --> 00:26:07.069
Was it helpful for not being on top of the...
637
00:26:07.019 --> 00:26:07.920
Is there any feeling of responsibility?
638
00:26:07.940 --> 00:26:13.940
We haven't had the results of the inquest yet. I
639
00:26:13.980 --> 00:26:16.039
don't even think... I don't think it's the vet equivalent
640
00:26:16.059 --> 00:26:19.599
of Quincy turning up right there. Or, you know, CSI
641
00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:20.920
or whatever it is.
642
00:26:21.420 --> 00:26:22.920
So, Harry, how many kids have you got?
643
00:26:23.140 --> 00:26:23.839
And have you got a dog?
644
00:26:24.680 --> 00:26:25.779
Well, one at a time, guys.
645
00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:26.380
Sorry.
646
00:26:26.660 --> 00:26:28.640
What have you learned over the last four years?
647
00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:29.420
Nothing.
648
00:26:29.460 --> 00:26:30.299
Last time I was here.
649
00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:31.759
Well, it's the first time I've done it in person.
650
00:26:31.779 --> 00:26:32.940
We did it on Zoom before when you was in
651
00:26:32.980 --> 00:26:33.460
your office.
652
00:26:33.579 --> 00:26:35.200
I was listening to it on the way in because
653
00:26:35.240 --> 00:26:36.880
I was trying to remember what I'd talked about.
654
00:26:37.210 --> 00:26:37.529
Oh, yeah?
655
00:26:37.549 --> 00:26:38.009
Oh, yeah.
656
00:26:38.369 --> 00:26:41.710
So you've got three children. There's something you said that always.
657
00:26:41.390 --> 00:26:43.809
Sticks with me. Before you say anything, I've got a
658
00:26:43.829 --> 00:26:45.029
message for you from my wife.
659
00:26:45.529 --> 00:26:45.670
Oh.
660
00:26:46.210 --> 00:26:48.549
She said to me, what are you doing? I said, oh, I'm...
661
00:26:48.569 --> 00:26:49.710
She said, why are you in the outfit?
662
00:26:49.730 --> 00:26:52.240
LAUGHTER Oh, no.
663
00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:54.960
And she said, I thought that was over. I said, no,
664
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:57.680
there's still some.
665
00:26:57.759 --> 00:27:00.130
Are you tempted to drop the outfit, though? Or will
666
00:27:00.150 --> 00:27:01.450
it forever be the outfit?
667
00:27:02.190 --> 00:27:03.269
It's just easier, isn't it?
668
00:27:03.450 --> 00:27:05.049
It's easier to put it on. Is it?
669
00:27:05.289 --> 00:27:07.769
Anyway, I said, I'm doing that Parenting Hell thing. She said, yeah,
670
00:27:07.789 --> 00:27:11.869
I've got a message for those two. She said, Parenting Hell,
671
00:27:11.910 --> 00:27:14.829
she said, any wife of a comedian will know who
672
00:27:14.869 --> 00:27:17.519
does the parenting. It's not the comedians.
673
00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:19.559
Oh, my word. Well, I tell you what.
674
00:27:19.579 --> 00:27:21.799
That comes from grim first-hand experience, doesn't it?
675
00:27:21.799 --> 00:27:23.640
I'll tell you what she'd like to buy. Lou Beckett's
676
00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:26.380
book called The Message from a Default Parent. And she's
677
00:27:26.420 --> 00:27:27.579
written a book very much about that.
678
00:27:27.740 --> 00:27:28.109
Oh, really?
679
00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:29.589
About being the one that does all the parenting.
680
00:27:29.609 --> 00:27:31.089
And do you feel that's fair on you, Harry?
681
00:27:31.109 --> 00:27:35.490
The comedy widow. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
682
00:27:36.190 --> 00:27:38.670
But do you feel like you've done more parenting now
683
00:27:38.750 --> 00:27:40.390
that you're older and the kids are older?
684
00:27:40.950 --> 00:27:42.250
Well, I've stopped parenting now.
685
00:27:42.329 --> 00:27:42.730
Oh, have you?
686
00:27:42.769 --> 00:27:42.970
Yeah.
687
00:27:43.430 --> 00:27:44.279
How old are your kids?
688
00:27:45.150 --> 00:27:46.569
I had a cut off. I said, you know, we
689
00:27:46.809 --> 00:27:49.430
stopped parenting at 21. I think it's 21, isn't it?
690
00:27:49.430 --> 00:27:52.170
You come of age and you're on your own. I'm kidding.
691
00:27:52.470 --> 00:27:56.289
I don't think you are, really. I think you've drawn
692
00:27:56.329 --> 00:27:58.819
an imaginary line. And if they come home and go, Dad,
693
00:27:58.839 --> 00:28:00.410
this is God. And you're like, yeah, well, good for you.
694
00:28:00.430 --> 00:28:03.559
Yeah, my wife, because our kids live near us.
695
00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:04.680
Yeah.
696
00:28:04.740 --> 00:28:05.440
We see a lot of them.
697
00:28:05.819 --> 00:28:06.039
Yeah.
698
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:09.680
And she said, oh, she's coming around again tonight.
699
00:28:10.019 --> 00:28:16.599
How old are they? 28, 27.
700
00:28:18.230 --> 00:28:20.150
And 21. So this is.
701
00:28:20.109 --> 00:28:22.309
What I remember vividly of the first one. I don't
702
00:28:22.329 --> 00:28:24.619
know why it stuck with me. Was you saying that
703
00:28:24.680 --> 00:28:27.700
you weren't sure about having a third child?
704
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:29.380
That's right, yeah.
705
00:28:29.619 --> 00:28:31.920
But then it was the best decision you ever made.
706
00:28:32.759 --> 00:28:34.200
Oh, why are you thinking about it?
707
00:28:34.259 --> 00:28:36.819
No, but there's something that stuck with me about that.
708
00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:40.029
I'll tell you what it was. It's very rare that
709
00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:43.329
you see into the soul of Harry Hill, the person.
710
00:28:44.220 --> 00:28:45.440
Do you know what I mean? It felt like a
711
00:28:45.460 --> 00:28:48.740
genuine moment of deep emotion from you. Yeah, yeah.
712
00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:52.880
Well, I mean, yeah, it was a blur, that. Because
713
00:28:52.900 --> 00:28:54.990
we had two, you know, we had the Irish Twins thing,
714
00:28:55.029 --> 00:28:58.430
the year between them, and it was just like absolute,
715
00:28:58.490 --> 00:29:02.470
you know, you had that double pram. Yeah, we had
716
00:29:02.490 --> 00:29:05.660
the double pram. Trying to get that into the, you know,
717
00:29:06.299 --> 00:29:07.450
An automatic door.
718
00:29:07.569 --> 00:29:09.849
Watching your wife trying to move that into a doorway.
719
00:29:09.950 --> 00:29:11.890
You approach the door, you know, with the double prong,
720
00:29:11.910 --> 00:29:13.410
you've got to sort of manoeuvre it in and the
721
00:29:13.430 --> 00:29:16.779
door shuts or you've got to get it... So was it.
722
00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:21.190
Sorry, driver and passenger or front and back? What? The
723
00:29:21.210 --> 00:29:22.549
double pram, is it front and back?
724
00:29:22.589 --> 00:29:23.190
Side by side.
725
00:29:23.210 --> 00:29:23.789
Side by side.
726
00:29:23.809 --> 00:29:24.559
Yeah, side by side.
727
00:29:24.730 --> 00:29:25.339
Side by side.
728
00:29:25.380 --> 00:29:27.799
Yeah, the double deck, it came in, I think, after we.
729
00:29:27.819 --> 00:29:30.539
Yeah, but also it's unfair for the undercarriage child.
730
00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:31.119
Yeah.
731
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:34.109
Just looking at the arse, like the back, it's not
732
00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:34.329
very nice.
733
00:29:34.349 --> 00:29:34.910
Can't see anything.
734
00:29:35.150 --> 00:29:35.369
No.
735
00:29:35.410 --> 00:29:36.549
The back of a pantomime horse situation.
736
00:29:36.569 --> 00:29:38.349
And then there was, briefly, there was the buggy board.
737
00:29:38.369 --> 00:29:39.230
Remember the buggy board?
738
00:29:39.250 --> 00:29:39.869
We had a buggy board.
739
00:29:39.890 --> 00:29:39.970
Yeah.
740
00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:40.960
Was fun but they.
741
00:29:40.839 --> 00:29:43.259
Don't really want to go on the first couple of
742
00:29:43.319 --> 00:29:45.660
runs they want to go in the pram.
743
00:29:45.559 --> 00:29:47.859
Yeah yeah because it's it's it stops being a lot
744
00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:50.250
of very quick yeah and it's obviously it's much easier
745
00:29:50.269 --> 00:29:52.680
if they're in a pram yeah But you do see,
746
00:29:52.839 --> 00:29:54.759
I think it's always funny, you see those kids sort
747
00:29:55.039 --> 00:29:57.619
of wandering around Bluewater or something and there's like a
748
00:29:57.700 --> 00:30:00.309
great big kid in the front.
749
00:30:00.690 --> 00:30:03.609
Like a seven-year-old or something. A dummy and.
750
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:04.920
Do you ever go to Disney?
751
00:30:04.940 --> 00:30:08.109
You see so much walking. You do get 11-year-olds in
752
00:30:08.119 --> 00:30:09.849
the pram still because they're so tired.
753
00:30:10.109 --> 00:30:12.390
So I went to your show at Shepherd's Bush.
754
00:30:12.589 --> 00:30:12.869
Oh, yeah.
755
00:30:13.130 --> 00:30:15.589
I briefly dropped into the after drinks, but you didn't show.
756
00:30:15.609 --> 00:30:16.730
I was there.
757
00:30:17.190 --> 00:30:18.529
I know, but I.
758
00:30:18.809 --> 00:30:19.990
You ran off, you mean.
759
00:30:20.009 --> 00:30:20.849
Yeah, yeah.
760
00:30:20.869 --> 00:30:21.869
Because I remember coming round.
761
00:30:21.890 --> 00:30:22.829
Did you wait long enough for him?
762
00:30:23.029 --> 00:30:25.509
I gave it 20 minutes. I was like... He's obviously
763
00:30:25.569 --> 00:30:29.390
giving some kind of producer a roasting backstage from Mr Cute.
764
00:30:29.700 --> 00:30:32.890
Yeah, you get this thing where, you know, people come,
765
00:30:32.970 --> 00:30:36.569
friends come to see the show, and then the speed
766
00:30:36.589 --> 00:30:39.529
with which they find their way backstage is a bit
767
00:30:39.549 --> 00:30:41.589
of a wind-up to me. You come off, you're drenched
768
00:30:41.630 --> 00:30:43.990
in sweat, you just want to breathe, knock, knock, knock
769
00:30:44.049 --> 00:30:44.529
on the door.
770
00:30:44.730 --> 00:30:45.049
Yeah.
771
00:30:45.410 --> 00:30:47.049
Oh, hello.
772
00:30:47.150 --> 00:30:49.980
The reason I bring this up is your daughter was there. Yeah.
773
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:52.119
And I thought, what's it like?
774
00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:53.400
They were all there, all three of them.
775
00:30:53.420 --> 00:30:53.960
All three of them.
776
00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:56.559
One was dressed as Stouffer, one was dressed as Gary,
777
00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:58.240
one was dressed as the ice cream.
778
00:30:58.619 --> 00:31:00.500
Oh, wow, so they all took part in the show?
779
00:31:00.519 --> 00:31:02.900
Yeah, at the end, they come on as the.
780
00:31:03.339 --> 00:31:05.420
Oh, so, and what's that like? Is that a very...
781
00:31:05.200 --> 00:31:08.119
It's been brilliant. Yeah, so have they done the whole tour?
782
00:31:08.809 --> 00:31:12.609
No, they, no. Not at such a loose end as that.
783
00:31:12.630 --> 00:31:14.910
Because your wife could go on stage as well.
784
00:31:15.630 --> 00:31:17.910
My wife wouldn't. She doesn't like coming to see the show.
785
00:31:17.930 --> 00:31:23.619
They'll have been in it. She goes, where are you going?
786
00:31:24.099 --> 00:31:25.259
I said, I've got Seamus Bush tonight.
787
00:31:28.970 --> 00:31:29.690
Why aren't you in the outfit?
788
00:31:29.710 --> 00:31:33.769
I change into it when I get there. No, because,
789
00:31:33.809 --> 00:31:36.640
you know, like I said before, I always sort of
790
00:31:36.660 --> 00:31:38.359
discouraged them coming along, the kids.
791
00:31:38.599 --> 00:31:38.880
Yeah.
792
00:31:39.380 --> 00:31:42.099
And this time, because they're older, they came along and
793
00:31:42.140 --> 00:31:45.859
it was just great because you can't see their face.
794
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:49.930
So there's, you know, Winnie's in the, she's 27, she's
795
00:31:49.970 --> 00:31:51.089
in the stoofer costume.
796
00:31:51.130 --> 00:31:51.349
Yeah.
797
00:31:51.549 --> 00:31:53.970
She can see me, but I can't see her face.
798
00:31:54.670 --> 00:31:56.829
But somehow, just by the way she's dancing, I know
799
00:31:56.849 --> 00:32:00.039
it's her. And I would always kind of forget because
800
00:32:00.059 --> 00:32:05.519
they would come maybe, you know, maybe the youngest did more,
801
00:32:05.559 --> 00:32:07.579
maybe did about two weeks of it on and off.
802
00:32:08.180 --> 00:32:08.759
And they paid?
803
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:11.660
I think I did say I was going to pay them.
804
00:32:11.700 --> 00:32:13.240
But I didn't.
805
00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:15.990
And then Freddie would come on as Gary. So she's
806
00:32:16.009 --> 00:32:17.589
got the thing and then Gary's head sticking out the
807
00:32:17.630 --> 00:32:19.289
top so you can't see it. And she would come
808
00:32:19.309 --> 00:32:21.609
and she said to me, I'll come on and I'll
809
00:32:21.650 --> 00:32:23.029
maybe do a little dance with you. And I thought,
810
00:32:23.049 --> 00:32:25.410
oh yeah, okay. She comes on. And of course they're
811
00:32:25.430 --> 00:32:26.190
her hands.
812
00:32:26.710 --> 00:32:27.069
Yeah.
813
00:32:27.569 --> 00:32:31.130
They look like Gary's hands. And she just takes my hand.
814
00:32:31.190 --> 00:32:35.210
And I just know, oh, it's Freddie's hand. It's actually
815
00:32:35.250 --> 00:32:37.910
really affecting and sweet. And it's the first time I thought, oh,
816
00:32:37.950 --> 00:32:39.559
maybe it would be great if one of them did
817
00:32:39.619 --> 00:32:40.190
go into it.
818
00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:42.339
None of them got into performing?
819
00:32:42.799 --> 00:32:43.119
No.
820
00:32:43.700 --> 00:32:46.000
They're all funny. But I mean, I think everyone's kids
821
00:32:46.039 --> 00:32:47.039
are funny, aren't they?
822
00:32:47.940 --> 00:32:49.920
I don't think we talked about this last time. Because
823
00:32:49.940 --> 00:32:51.940
I don't think I realised it. But you've got a
824
00:32:51.980 --> 00:32:56.210
hell of a kind of kid following through Junior Bake Off.
825
00:32:56.880 --> 00:33:00.420
Yes, yeah. Well, I had kids following me from You've
826
00:33:00.440 --> 00:33:04.710
Been Framed and TV Burb. So it's funny, on this
827
00:33:04.769 --> 00:33:08.190
last tour, because I didn't tour regularly for a while,
828
00:33:09.529 --> 00:33:14.809
and I get these guys coming, they're 25-year-olds, and they're going, Harry,
829
00:33:15.349 --> 00:33:19.109
you were my childhood. Can I hug you?
830
00:33:19.589 --> 00:33:19.990
Oh, really?
831
00:33:20.190 --> 00:33:22.750
Yeah, very like 25, late 20s maybe.
832
00:33:23.039 --> 00:33:23.299
Yeah.
833
00:33:24.099 --> 00:33:27.349
And then you get these little and sort of, Ten-year-olds
834
00:33:27.369 --> 00:33:27.609
or whatever.
835
00:33:27.630 --> 00:33:28.109
Oh, wow.
836
00:33:28.369 --> 00:33:28.890
Yeah, yeah.
837
00:33:29.130 --> 00:33:31.759
Because you did a podcast sort of aimed at younger kids.
838
00:33:31.779 --> 00:33:34.140
Now you've got a new podcast coming out that's still family-friendly.
839
00:33:34.339 --> 00:33:36.240
I love the way he's... He's good, isn't he? He's
840
00:33:36.259 --> 00:33:36.660
very good.
841
00:33:36.700 --> 00:33:38.259
He did a great one the other day. What was
842
00:33:38.299 --> 00:33:39.519
that one? That was really good.
843
00:33:39.740 --> 00:33:42.849
Oh, Prince Nazeem Hamed. It's so easy for me. I
844
00:33:42.869 --> 00:33:43.609
don't like doing it all the time.
845
00:33:46.660 --> 00:33:48.900
Well, let me jump on that. Yeah, I've got a
846
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:50.369
new podcast.
847
00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:51.960
Are you going to go down the barrel for this?
848
00:33:52.049 --> 00:33:52.980
Yeah, straight down the buzzer.
849
00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:55.970
Is that my barrel? I've got a new podcast out.
850
00:33:56.210 --> 00:33:59.390
It's called The Harry Hill Show. And we're video, you know,
851
00:33:59.430 --> 00:34:00.349
like everyone's videoing.
852
00:34:00.490 --> 00:34:01.109
Yeah.
853
00:34:01.750 --> 00:34:02.869
And I basically.
854
00:34:02.890 --> 00:34:04.769
It's a TV show now, but you've got your all
855
00:34:04.930 --> 00:34:05.470
control over.
856
00:34:05.549 --> 00:34:10.110
It's basically cheap TV. It's sort of repeating history. So,
857
00:34:10.130 --> 00:34:12.360
you know, once upon a time there was radio. And
858
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:13.949
then someone said, oh, we could film it. And that
859
00:34:13.989 --> 00:34:17.250
was TV. And now it's, then it was podcast. Oh, hey,
860
00:34:17.269 --> 00:34:17.940
we could film it.
861
00:34:18.190 --> 00:34:19.090
It's like, come.
862
00:34:20.469 --> 00:34:22.750
On guys, wake up.
863
00:34:22.949 --> 00:34:25.550
And, we're already doing this.
864
00:34:26.190 --> 00:34:27.820
So, I mean, we'll just fall in.
865
00:34:27.960 --> 00:34:29.380
We all just fall in and do it.
866
00:34:29.420 --> 00:34:30.139
Oh, you've got a video?
867
00:34:30.179 --> 00:34:33.860
Yeah, all right, we'll video it. And, because you were
868
00:34:33.900 --> 00:34:36.280
doing it from home before. This is a real drag
869
00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:36.760
for you, right?
870
00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:40.340
I live in Devon now as well. But, Actually, the
871
00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:41.860
interviews are a lot more fun.
872
00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:43.579
We're loving the face-to-face interviews.
873
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:52.030
Well, you say that.
874
00:34:53.170 --> 00:34:53.969
I was a teenager.
875
00:34:53.989 --> 00:34:54.250
Yeah.
876
00:34:54.289 --> 00:34:55.050
You know what I mean?
877
00:34:55.090 --> 00:34:55.349
Yeah.
878
00:34:55.369 --> 00:34:56.849
So, I mean, come on.
879
00:34:56.889 --> 00:34:57.449
How old were you?
880
00:34:57.630 --> 00:34:58.360
I was 18.
881
00:34:58.360 --> 00:34:59.230
18, yeah.
882
00:35:00.150 --> 00:35:00.809
Still in school.
883
00:35:01.190 --> 00:35:02.050
Still in school.
884
00:35:02.090 --> 00:35:02.239
Wow.
885
00:35:02.469 --> 00:35:05.039
Fair play. In school. Wow.
886
00:35:05.219 --> 00:35:05.440
What?
887
00:35:05.639 --> 00:35:07.659
Having the baby or getting pregnant?
888
00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:12.780
Both. I respect it. I definitely wasn't getting anyone pregnant.
889
00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:16.469
Well, I mean, I was shocked.
890
00:35:16.969 --> 00:35:18.329
I was very shocked.
891
00:35:18.369 --> 00:35:21.789
So it wasn't as such sort of a planned family
892
00:35:21.829 --> 00:35:22.309
at that point?
893
00:35:22.329 --> 00:35:23.929
No, it was not.
894
00:35:24.030 --> 00:35:27.070
And I told people, I actually had heard tell of
895
00:35:27.110 --> 00:35:30.119
a girl who was like 19, who had a baby,
896
00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:32.809
was with the boyfriend and she was planning another one.
897
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:34.969
I was like, She needs to be committed. I was like,
898
00:35:34.989 --> 00:35:38.170
she's insane. I was like, that's, you know, I was
899
00:35:38.210 --> 00:35:40.639
giving it all the big wah, wah, wah. And then sure,
900
00:35:40.679 --> 00:35:41.679
it was me the following week.
901
00:35:42.119 --> 00:35:43.039
Oh my word.
902
00:35:43.079 --> 00:35:43.320
Yeah.
903
00:35:43.940 --> 00:35:46.000
Not on the cards at all.
904
00:35:46.300 --> 00:35:49.840
So what was your plan before the baby arrived? Was
905
00:35:49.860 --> 00:35:51.920
you going to study more or did you want to
906
00:35:51.940 --> 00:35:54.289
go into comedy or did you know what was going on?
907
00:35:54.309 --> 00:35:56.150
My plan was I was going to live at large.
908
00:35:56.650 --> 00:35:57.340
I had things to do.
909
00:35:57.369 --> 00:35:58.750
And you did. You never lived at large.
910
00:35:58.889 --> 00:35:59.710
I had two months.
911
00:36:01.409 --> 00:36:03.929
I had two months there where I went hell for leather.
912
00:36:04.329 --> 00:36:06.670
I just lost my mind because my parents were quite strict.
913
00:36:06.949 --> 00:36:07.590
Yeah, yeah.
914
00:36:07.670 --> 00:36:08.889
So I had a summer away.
915
00:36:08.909 --> 00:36:09.429
Yeah.
916
00:36:09.570 --> 00:36:13.320
And I went bloob, like I went bloobers.
917
00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:16.400
Do you think them being strict sort of was counterproductive?
918
00:36:16.679 --> 00:36:16.920
Yes.
919
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:18.780
It was.
920
00:36:19.239 --> 00:36:21.219
Although they were strict to my brothers as well and
921
00:36:21.239 --> 00:36:23.800
it worked out with them. But my mum said that
922
00:36:23.880 --> 00:36:26.760
I definitely was the hardest because when they say, Well,
923
00:36:26.800 --> 00:36:30.349
obviously I got pregnant, but before that, I was the hardest.
924
00:36:30.630 --> 00:36:33.369
Because they would say, you know, you can't, you're not
925
00:36:33.409 --> 00:36:36.590
doing that or whatever. I would then come down and
926
00:36:36.610 --> 00:36:40.949
present a case of why I should be allowed. They
927
00:36:40.989 --> 00:36:43.329
said that I would never let it go. And I
928
00:36:43.349 --> 00:36:45.570
just constantly used to lie to them. They thought I
929
00:36:45.590 --> 00:36:48.630
was like professional. bowling in Quader I mean I was
930
00:36:48.909 --> 00:36:50.989
the amount of films I was supposedly seeing like I
931
00:36:51.010 --> 00:36:52.809
was drinking in fields the whole time I just had
932
00:36:53.010 --> 00:36:56.119
all these made up friends all these places I was
933
00:36:56.159 --> 00:36:57.780
going and I was just drinking in fields having a
934
00:36:57.800 --> 00:36:59.440
great time so the plan was.
935
00:36:59.699 --> 00:37:03.920
Just to have just drinking in fields well that's what
936
00:37:03.940 --> 00:37:06.389
happens when you're drinking in fields but the plan was
937
00:37:06.409 --> 00:37:07.929
there was no plan but I definitely wasn't going to
938
00:37:08.269 --> 00:37:10.510
like yeah probably go to college but probably go to
939
00:37:10.550 --> 00:37:12.969
London yeah Get the London look.
940
00:37:12.989 --> 00:37:14.309
The London look was big at the time. No one
941
00:37:14.369 --> 00:37:15.340
really knows what the London look was.
942
00:37:15.349 --> 00:37:15.829
What is the London look?
943
00:37:15.849 --> 00:37:18.829
You know, like on the Rimmel ad with Kate Moss. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
944
00:37:18.909 --> 00:37:20.630
It was quite aspirational to go London.
945
00:37:20.650 --> 00:37:24.789
Yeah, let's go to London. And no, it didn't happen.
946
00:37:25.010 --> 00:37:27.909
So like into that, very early into that school term,
947
00:37:28.170 --> 00:37:31.110
say I got pregnant in the August, then in the September.
948
00:37:31.449 --> 00:37:33.190
So it's like your big final year, you're going to
949
00:37:33.210 --> 00:37:36.880
do a state exam. Everything rides on that state exam
950
00:37:36.889 --> 00:37:40.360
in terms of like what college class, university course you
951
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:43.960
can get. It's like a big, huge thing. And then
952
00:37:43.980 --> 00:37:44.960
I'm pregnant that year.
953
00:37:44.980 --> 00:37:46.260
Oh my word.
954
00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:49.519
So I'm pregnant, all girls school, pregnant.
955
00:37:49.860 --> 00:37:53.469
So who could it have been? Yeah, I know.
956
00:37:53.510 --> 00:37:55.030
But that was the other thing.
957
00:37:55.190 --> 00:37:57.250
When I had to tell my mother I'm pregnant, I
958
00:37:57.309 --> 00:37:59.590
also had to say, like, I've had sex.
959
00:38:00.110 --> 00:38:01.809
That was actually the bigger thing.
960
00:38:01.889 --> 00:38:03.650
Yeah, I don't think she was waiting for that part.
961
00:38:03.869 --> 00:38:06.110
No, but I was embarrassed about that.
962
00:38:06.130 --> 00:38:07.199
Because she's like, who?
963
00:38:07.219 --> 00:38:07.300
Who?
964
00:38:08.050 --> 00:38:08.750
You know what I mean?
965
00:38:09.309 --> 00:38:10.409
Oh, my word.
966
00:38:10.469 --> 00:38:10.630
Yeah.
967
00:38:10.650 --> 00:38:12.050
Wow. And was it like a boyfriend?
968
00:38:12.409 --> 00:38:14.550
It was like a summer... If this is too evasive
969
00:38:14.590 --> 00:38:14.889
a question.
970
00:38:14.909 --> 00:38:15.500
No, no.
971
00:38:15.519 --> 00:38:17.380
It's like a summer... Because you see, this is what happens.
972
00:38:17.400 --> 00:38:20.639
If you have a child young, you have to be...
973
00:38:20.960 --> 00:38:22.739
You have to learn to be quite open about it.
974
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:23.039
Yeah.
975
00:38:23.079 --> 00:38:24.500
Because everyone wants to know.
976
00:38:24.780 --> 00:38:25.059
Yeah.
977
00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:27.159
Because everyone thinks, that could have been me.
978
00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:27.599
Yeah.
979
00:38:27.619 --> 00:38:29.699
Whether it was like in their 20s or whatever.
980
00:38:29.860 --> 00:38:30.119
Yeah.
981
00:38:30.139 --> 00:38:31.380
Or that happened to my friend Sarah.
982
00:38:31.400 --> 00:38:31.460
Or.
983
00:38:33.070 --> 00:38:34.590
My brother, John, had a kid when.
984
00:38:34.530 --> 00:38:34.949
He, you know.
985
00:38:35.110 --> 00:38:38.019
Everyone knows a girl at school that that sort of happened.
986
00:38:37.780 --> 00:38:38.659
To or in the area.
987
00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:39.000
Yeah.
988
00:38:39.340 --> 00:38:41.389
So everyone always wants to know. So you kind of,
989
00:38:41.639 --> 00:38:45.679
you get very comfortable with telling everyone your story. So
990
00:38:45.699 --> 00:38:48.320
he was like a summer kind of dalliance. So like
991
00:38:48.340 --> 00:38:52.059
very into him, but like not.
992
00:38:52.280 --> 00:38:54.530
You're not pushing through that as a relationship, are you?
993
00:38:54.780 --> 00:38:57.650
Come on. There's only so much you can do.
994
00:38:58.590 --> 00:39:00.070
Was he at school at the time?
995
00:39:00.190 --> 00:39:03.590
He was like, I think he had just finished and
996
00:39:03.730 --> 00:39:06.010
he was, yeah, he was going to go to college.
997
00:39:06.050 --> 00:39:06.429
Right, yeah.
998
00:39:06.510 --> 00:39:11.449
So I met him. I was, I'm working in a chipper.
999
00:39:11.469 --> 00:39:13.340
What's a chip shop?
1000
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:13.719
Chip shop.
1001
00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:17.099
Chip shop, yeah. And it's the night he's getting his
1002
00:39:17.159 --> 00:39:17.860
exam results.
1003
00:39:17.980 --> 00:39:19.900
So that's the night I meet him.
1004
00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:23.199
So I'm saying salt and vinegar and then.
1005
00:39:23.579 --> 00:39:23.780
Yeah.
1006
00:39:23.780 --> 00:39:26.110
But we were seeing each other for a while while
1007
00:39:26.110 --> 00:39:26.670
I was there.
1008
00:39:26.670 --> 00:39:27.159
Yeah, yeah.
1009
00:39:27.159 --> 00:39:30.510
Hello, hola. So I seen him for a while. living
1010
00:39:30.730 --> 00:39:33.829
in sorry I'm just actually remembering the story living in
1011
00:39:33.849 --> 00:39:36.110
a mobile home he was living in a mobile home
1012
00:39:36.130 --> 00:39:38.409
no I was you was yeah yeah yeah.
1013
00:39:38.210 --> 00:39:39.949
What near your parents house or your own place no.
1014
00:39:39.949 --> 00:39:43.329
So my friends parents had in Wexford you know like
1015
00:39:43.349 --> 00:39:45.989
by the sea yes have like a caravan or whatever
1016
00:39:46.030 --> 00:39:50.030
so me and my friend were living in that working at.
1017
00:39:50.050 --> 00:39:52.590
The church I'm not I'm just trying to it feels
1018
00:39:52.610 --> 00:39:56.440
like a pitch for a sitcom idea yeah so it's
1019
00:39:56.460 --> 00:39:58.239
your actual life and I need to remember to be
1020
00:39:58.300 --> 00:40:02.119
respectful yeah Because I'm really trying my best not to
1021
00:40:02.179 --> 00:40:06.840
say something bad. I'm not a very good poker face.
1022
00:40:06.900 --> 00:40:09.409
So me and my friend are living in the mobile home,
1023
00:40:09.710 --> 00:40:10.289
the caravan.
1024
00:40:10.329 --> 00:40:11.829
You're in a caravan in Wexford. You work at a
1025
00:40:11.849 --> 00:40:15.909
chip shop. This child walks in, he's getting his grades, results,
1026
00:40:16.130 --> 00:40:17.429
and you two are loving each other.
1027
00:40:17.650 --> 00:40:17.849
Yeah.
1028
00:40:18.280 --> 00:40:19.179
And so.
1029
00:40:19.199 --> 00:40:20.780
And does he move into the mobile home?
1030
00:40:21.119 --> 00:40:22.679
No, he doesn't move in, but we see each other.
1031
00:40:22.780 --> 00:40:24.360
No, no, it's not that ridiculous.
1032
00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:25.360
Come on.
1033
00:40:25.460 --> 00:40:27.219
I see, I'm kind of seeing him a bit while
1034
00:40:27.260 --> 00:40:27.880
I'm down there.
1035
00:40:28.059 --> 00:40:28.219
Yeah.
1036
00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:29.800
But I have to go home because I'm not finished
1037
00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:30.340
school yet.
1038
00:40:30.460 --> 00:40:30.699
Yeah.
1039
00:40:30.780 --> 00:40:32.059
So at the end of summer, I have to go home.
1040
00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:33.239
And how far is home?
1041
00:40:33.579 --> 00:40:35.159
Oh, like, it's like an hour and a half. You
1042
00:40:35.179 --> 00:40:37.050
know what I mean? Like, we're just down, like, you know,
1043
00:40:37.090 --> 00:40:40.030
seaside town. I go back home and then very quickly,
1044
00:40:40.070 --> 00:40:42.449
I'm back at school and I find out very quickly.
1045
00:40:43.309 --> 00:40:43.750
I'm pregnant.
1046
00:40:44.210 --> 00:40:45.630
Oh. And so how do you tell him?
1047
00:40:46.650 --> 00:40:50.929
I told him... Because I think from watching like films
1048
00:40:50.989 --> 00:40:52.559
or something, I was like, okay, you have to tell
1049
00:40:52.599 --> 00:40:55.139
the dad. He's the next person that needs to kind
1050
00:40:55.179 --> 00:40:55.559
of know.
1051
00:40:55.820 --> 00:40:56.480
Before your mum.
1052
00:40:56.800 --> 00:40:59.000
Before my mum. So my friend who I was with knew.
1053
00:40:59.519 --> 00:40:59.739
Yeah.
1054
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:00.579
So this poor friend of mine.
1055
00:41:00.599 --> 00:41:02.300
You've only been reading it in the newspaper, the chip show.
1056
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:03.849
Yeah, this poor friend of mine.
1057
00:41:03.869 --> 00:41:06.630
I mean, I told her everything, you know what I mean?
1058
00:41:06.650 --> 00:41:08.250
So she's my confidant. She was there. Like, I mean,
1059
00:41:08.269 --> 00:41:10.130
she wasn't in the room, but she basically would have been. Like,
1060
00:41:10.170 --> 00:41:11.250
there's no soundproof.
1061
00:41:11.610 --> 00:41:12.969
There's a caravan. Oh, and she knows.
1062
00:41:13.110 --> 00:41:14.110
So she knows, right?
1063
00:41:14.150 --> 00:41:14.329
Yeah.
1064
00:41:14.590 --> 00:41:17.099
She was with his friend. she was with his friend
1065
00:41:17.179 --> 00:41:19.099
oh this is actually when I tell you this bit
1066
00:41:19.139 --> 00:41:21.199
this is the funny bit so we're in the mobile
1067
00:41:21.219 --> 00:41:23.760
home the night I got pregnant right so I'd seen
1068
00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:27.380
him before or whatever and we are kind of like
1069
00:41:27.440 --> 00:41:30.199
pairing oh Jesus Christ we're pairing off right but it's
1070
00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:33.380
only one condom right so we do we kind of
1071
00:41:33.400 --> 00:41:35.199
say who's going to get it so me and him
1072
00:41:35.239 --> 00:41:37.059
get it she doesn't get.
1073
00:41:36.929 --> 00:41:41.010
It oh my god right we get it but it
1074
00:41:41.050 --> 00:41:47.179
doesn't work oh my what yeah Only one condom.
1075
00:41:47.460 --> 00:41:50.360
And you got it and still got pregnant. Jesus, what's
1076
00:41:50.380 --> 00:41:51.599
this guy got using his nuts?
1077
00:41:51.860 --> 00:41:56.760
I know. Powerful stuff. So she knew the whole story, right?
1078
00:41:56.800 --> 00:41:57.260
Yeah, of course.
1079
00:41:57.300 --> 00:41:58.460
And of course, she's like you.
1080
00:41:58.519 --> 00:42:00.519
She's trying not to sit there and just go, oh,
1081
00:42:00.579 --> 00:42:01.880
fucking escape that.
1082
00:42:01.900 --> 00:42:04.710
Sorry, I'm smiling too much, aren't I? It's a great story.
1083
00:42:04.750 --> 00:42:08.670
The way the condom, the faulty condom, is giving you
1084
00:42:08.690 --> 00:42:12.400
an air of over-security that she didn't have. Yeah. So
1085
00:42:12.480 --> 00:42:15.110
she's got lucky by not having the faulty condom.
1086
00:42:15.269 --> 00:42:16.110
Yeah, yeah.
1087
00:42:16.190 --> 00:42:17.409
What was it, faulty?
1088
00:42:17.489 --> 00:42:19.909
I think he made a faulty.
1089
00:42:19.949 --> 00:42:20.630
He put it on wrong.
1090
00:42:20.750 --> 00:42:21.050
I think so.
1091
00:42:21.050 --> 00:42:21.570
He put it on his head.
1092
00:42:21.610 --> 00:42:22.429
He put it on his nose.
1093
00:42:22.489 --> 00:42:25.239
Because in my room in the mobile home, the light
1094
00:42:25.260 --> 00:42:27.019
didn't work. So it was pitch black.
1095
00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:28.219
So he didn't know where his penis was.
1096
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:32.840
I've not been fighting ever. In the dark, I know
1097
00:42:32.860 --> 00:42:36.179
where my dick is. I've never lost it once.
1098
00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:38.300
All these years I've been sticking up for him.
1099
00:42:38.510 --> 00:42:41.570
That's how long I've been. In his defence, it was dark.
1100
00:42:50.519 --> 00:42:51.019
Oh, wow.
1101
00:42:51.039 --> 00:42:54.179
So, yes. But are you a kid as well? Are
1102
00:42:54.199 --> 00:42:57.860
you experienced in condoms? I haven't a clue. You know
1103
00:42:57.880 --> 00:42:58.119
what I mean?
1104
00:42:58.159 --> 00:42:59.079
TV, do you ever see that thing?
1105
00:42:59.159 --> 00:43:00.980
I'm still not 100% convinced I know what to do.
1106
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:04.340
You know, on Degrassi Junior High, they're constantly putting condoms
1107
00:43:04.389 --> 00:43:06.030
and bananas over you. When are we going to do
1108
00:43:06.070 --> 00:43:07.809
that in school? I think we should know that.
1109
00:43:07.929 --> 00:43:09.789
A condom and a banana in daylight is a lot
1110
00:43:09.829 --> 00:43:11.550
different to a dick in the dark in Wetsford.
1111
00:43:11.849 --> 00:43:13.210
In the school, and now we're going to turn the
1112
00:43:13.250 --> 00:43:15.090
lights off for the next lesson.
1113
00:43:16.210 --> 00:43:16.909
Out in the field at work.
1114
00:43:17.940 --> 00:43:19.219
With the lights off, trying to do it with the
1115
00:43:19.260 --> 00:43:19.699
lights off.
1116
00:43:19.719 --> 00:43:20.769
So how did he take it?
1117
00:43:21.130 --> 00:43:26.309
So I phoned him and very, it's actually now, not
1118
00:43:26.329 --> 00:43:27.630
funny at the time, but it's very funny now to
1119
00:43:27.650 --> 00:43:31.070
look back at it, obviously. Chris Rock does a bit
1120
00:43:31.110 --> 00:43:33.710
that I then later discovered years later, when a woman
1121
00:43:33.769 --> 00:43:37.239
brings a man to tell him that she's pregnant, if
1122
00:43:37.300 --> 00:43:39.699
the guy's response is, what are you going to do?
1123
00:43:40.280 --> 00:43:42.219
Yeah. You know, yeah, fuck it.
1124
00:43:42.400 --> 00:43:43.880
And that's what he said to me. He's like, what
1125
00:43:43.900 --> 00:43:44.539
are you going to do?
1126
00:43:44.679 --> 00:43:44.860
Yeah.
1127
00:43:45.239 --> 00:43:46.239
And I was like, well, I don't know what I'm
1128
00:43:46.260 --> 00:43:49.099
going to do. Like, I don't know. I was like,
1129
00:43:49.139 --> 00:43:50.860
I'm going to have the baby or whatever. And he
1130
00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:53.719
was like, okay. And that was kind of it, like.
1131
00:43:53.960 --> 00:43:56.059
Because he was like, are you coming down? I think
1132
00:43:56.079 --> 00:43:58.530
he was like, you know, because we were still in touch, actually.
1133
00:43:58.619 --> 00:44:00.889
We were still in touch and trying to think of
1134
00:44:00.949 --> 00:44:03.710
ways to meet up. And I was like, oh, like,
1135
00:44:03.769 --> 00:44:07.090
I'm pregnant. And then just this big silence. And I
1136
00:44:07.090 --> 00:44:07.989
was like, are you still there?
1137
00:44:08.010 --> 00:44:12.769
Oh, my God. Yeah. So what are you going to do?
1138
00:44:12.849 --> 00:44:16.280
Oh, God. Oh, my word. It's not the best response.
1139
00:44:16.300 --> 00:44:19.000
And I was trying to be very grown up, like, thinking, oh, well,
1140
00:44:19.139 --> 00:44:19.659
message him.
1141
00:44:19.679 --> 00:44:21.400
It doesn't help that he's the first.
1142
00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:22.780
Person you've spoken to, so you haven't even kind of
1143
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:23.989
spoken to your parents at this point.
1144
00:44:24.010 --> 00:44:27.369
No, no, no. And I don't have a plan. Nobody knows.
1145
00:44:27.409 --> 00:44:30.590
The school don't know. My parents don't know. Nobody knows.
1146
00:44:31.070 --> 00:44:31.409
Oh, my word.
1147
00:44:31.469 --> 00:44:32.670
What I'm telling him is if.
1148
00:44:32.670 --> 00:44:35.510
He doesn't know. Obviously, it's been a long time when
1149
00:44:35.530 --> 00:44:38.579
you laugh about it now, but was you completely devastated
1150
00:44:38.619 --> 00:44:40.039
and panicked?
1151
00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:41.219
Oh, big star panic.
1152
00:44:41.380 --> 00:44:41.639
Yeah.
1153
00:44:42.179 --> 00:44:43.559
Oh, like, panicked.
1154
00:44:43.619 --> 00:44:43.840
Yeah.
1155
00:44:44.539 --> 00:44:49.260
Panicked like fuck like I just was on autopilot for
1156
00:44:49.510 --> 00:44:53.769
like all that time like when I was growing up
1157
00:44:54.170 --> 00:44:56.250
like all girls school you would chat about it as
1158
00:44:56.289 --> 00:44:57.250
like oh my god what would you do if you
1159
00:44:57.269 --> 00:44:58.969
got pregnant yeah what would you do if you got
1160
00:44:58.989 --> 00:45:01.869
pregnant I would have killed myself it's so like oh
1161
00:45:02.010 --> 00:45:03.550
my god do you know what I mean like we
1162
00:45:03.570 --> 00:45:05.809
were like that is the worst thing that this is
1163
00:45:05.849 --> 00:45:09.820
like you know noughties There was no, like abortion wasn't
1164
00:45:09.840 --> 00:45:10.699
available in Ireland.
1165
00:45:11.400 --> 00:45:14.179
Ireland as well. It's a level up Ireland, I think,
1166
00:45:14.519 --> 00:45:15.300
with that kind of thing.
1167
00:45:15.460 --> 00:45:17.750
You see, and as well, we would have had like
1168
00:45:17.989 --> 00:45:21.969
laundries up until the 90s. So now I don't know
1169
00:45:22.050 --> 00:45:23.590
anyone who went to a laundry, but you know what
1170
00:45:23.690 --> 00:45:24.750
I mean?
1171
00:45:24.769 --> 00:45:26.469
What's a laundry? Sorry for my ignorance.
1172
00:45:26.489 --> 00:45:29.639
Do you ever hear of like the Magdalene laundries? It
1173
00:45:29.739 --> 00:45:32.619
would have been a thing where back in the day
1174
00:45:32.699 --> 00:45:35.619
in like Catholic Ireland, if a woman had gotten pregnant,
1175
00:45:36.340 --> 00:45:39.210
she would go to a laundry shop. To work, to
1176
00:45:39.230 --> 00:45:40.969
be put to work. So it was run by nuns.
1177
00:45:41.510 --> 00:45:43.940
She would go there to work in a laundry, you know,
1178
00:45:43.960 --> 00:45:48.179
like doing bedsheets and all that. And then her baby
1179
00:45:48.699 --> 00:45:52.929
would be adopted through the laundry. So that would happen.
1180
00:45:53.010 --> 00:45:56.670
Women who say were from like very poor backgrounds or
1181
00:45:56.769 --> 00:45:59.190
they had been abandoned. So their family was like.
1182
00:46:00.070 --> 00:46:01.170
There's the only place they could go.
1183
00:46:01.190 --> 00:46:01.769
There you go.
1184
00:46:01.889 --> 00:46:03.329
And they'd have no choice. They'd have to give up
1185
00:46:03.349 --> 00:46:03.730
the baby.
1186
00:46:03.750 --> 00:46:04.650
They'd have to give up the baby.
1187
00:46:04.710 --> 00:46:05.130
Oh, God.
1188
00:46:05.150 --> 00:46:07.320
Or like, so say, and this would be like, you know,
1189
00:46:07.760 --> 00:46:10.360
all sorts of women would say, if it happened to
1190
00:46:10.380 --> 00:46:10.960
a young girl.
1191
00:46:11.519 --> 00:46:12.619
Yeah.
1192
00:46:12.739 --> 00:46:15.780
And if the family didn't have the money to maybe
1193
00:46:15.840 --> 00:46:19.079
send her off somewhere, you know, like say maybe to
1194
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:23.030
an aunt somewhere else that she could hide away for
1195
00:46:23.219 --> 00:46:23.409
a while.
1196
00:46:23.429 --> 00:46:25.230
Was that to stop sort of family shame?
1197
00:46:25.530 --> 00:46:28.130
Family shame, to do something with the baby. Yeah. So
1198
00:46:28.170 --> 00:46:31.789
now there was only, I think, it had all been winding,
1199
00:46:31.829 --> 00:46:34.510
winding down. But, you know, like that building was, there
1200
00:46:34.550 --> 00:46:35.730
was still one in Dublin.
1201
00:46:35.889 --> 00:46:36.030
Yeah.
1202
00:46:36.050 --> 00:46:38.030
And you would still know people that that was their
1203
00:46:38.070 --> 00:46:38.369
life experience.
1204
00:46:38.449 --> 00:46:41.409
And you would hear stories from your own mum of,
1205
00:46:41.769 --> 00:46:45.409
you know, friends that had gone away. You know, there'd
1206
00:46:45.429 --> 00:46:49.590
be lots of adoption stories or that women had gone away,
1207
00:46:49.610 --> 00:46:52.349
you know, may not have been in a laundry, but
1208
00:46:52.369 --> 00:46:54.670
would have gone away to like, say, I think it
1209
00:46:54.690 --> 00:46:55.989
would have been quite common to go to like a
1210
00:46:56.010 --> 00:46:56.949
kind of a nursing home.
1211
00:46:57.409 --> 00:46:57.659
Yeah.
1212
00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:00.139
Stay there, have the baby, come back.
1213
00:47:00.409 --> 00:47:01.050
Blimey.
1214
00:47:01.469 --> 00:47:02.010
I was away.
1215
00:47:02.670 --> 00:47:03.210
Work, yeah.
1216
00:47:03.789 --> 00:47:06.730
Jeez. You know? God. I'm not saying that was happening
1217
00:47:06.750 --> 00:47:07.619
when I was growing up.
1218
00:47:07.630 --> 00:47:10.670
You've got to tell your mum and dad about it.
1219
00:47:10.690 --> 00:47:11.010
Yes.
1220
00:47:11.030 --> 00:47:14.179
This was a thing that happened. And you're an 18-year-old kid.
1221
00:47:14.440 --> 00:47:14.739
Yes.
1222
00:47:14.760 --> 00:47:15.920
So how did they take it?
1223
00:47:16.480 --> 00:47:17.480
They were actually great.
1224
00:47:17.559 --> 00:47:17.820
Yeah.
1225
00:47:18.219 --> 00:47:21.000
They were great. Now, I knew it wasn't going to
1226
00:47:21.019 --> 00:47:22.360
be because they were going to kick me out or
1227
00:47:22.400 --> 00:47:25.389
they were going to feel shame. I just, I knew
1228
00:47:25.429 --> 00:47:28.760
that they would feel like, oh, like everything's going to
1229
00:47:28.780 --> 00:47:29.920
be so much harder for her now.
1230
00:47:30.199 --> 00:47:30.440
Yeah.
1231
00:47:30.460 --> 00:47:32.579
You know, it's going to really, it's going to really
1232
00:47:32.619 --> 00:47:37.420
change everything. My mom took it really well. I wrote
1233
00:47:37.460 --> 00:47:40.309
her a letter and I like left the letter and
1234
00:47:40.409 --> 00:47:43.730
ran out the door. And then she came and found me.
1235
00:47:43.730 --> 00:47:45.429
I just had gone to my friend's house across the road, like,
1236
00:47:45.550 --> 00:47:46.530
and she just came over.
1237
00:47:46.550 --> 00:47:48.449
You know what I mean?
1238
00:47:48.469 --> 00:47:48.989
I ran away.
1239
00:47:49.090 --> 00:47:50.730
Like a child. I ran away to the end of
1240
00:47:50.769 --> 00:47:51.610
the road, like kind of thing.
1241
00:47:53.760 --> 00:47:55.340
And she came and found me and she just said,
1242
00:47:55.719 --> 00:47:56.900
she gave me a big hug and she was like,
1243
00:47:56.940 --> 00:47:59.380
come home and you're ready. And my friend was like,
1244
00:47:59.400 --> 00:48:01.780
what's going on here? And then my dad, she rang
1245
00:48:01.820 --> 00:48:03.690
my dad and I'm like, oh God, because I'm an
1246
00:48:03.769 --> 00:48:05.010
only girl. And I was like, oh God, he's going
1247
00:48:05.030 --> 00:48:07.389
to flip. And he'd been like, would have been like
1248
00:48:07.630 --> 00:48:10.090
one of those dads, like close the door. You know,
1249
00:48:10.110 --> 00:48:13.809
those dads, dad's going to knock. But he was like, oh,
1250
00:48:13.889 --> 00:48:16.639
I quite like the idea of being a granddad. So
1251
00:48:16.679 --> 00:48:19.539
they were really nice about it. But then once I
1252
00:48:19.579 --> 00:48:22.360
told them, they went into like action mode, right? What
1253
00:48:22.380 --> 00:48:22.840
do we have to do?
1254
00:48:22.889 --> 00:48:24.179
We have to tell the school, we have to go
1255
00:48:24.219 --> 00:48:25.230
to the doctor, we have.
1256
00:48:25.090 --> 00:48:28.190
To, you know, and I'm just worried about my final
1257
00:48:28.230 --> 00:48:31.030
exam in school because I want to get that done.
1258
00:48:31.849 --> 00:48:32.349
So it's like.
1259
00:48:32.369 --> 00:48:33.809
Because if you get that done, it does give you
1260
00:48:33.869 --> 00:48:35.690
options in a couple of years time, doesn't it? To
1261
00:48:35.909 --> 00:48:39.619
defer studying when the baby's older. Yeah, you can.
1262
00:48:39.550 --> 00:48:42.519
Do all that then. Like you need to have that
1263
00:48:42.579 --> 00:48:44.519
to move on to third level education. So I want
1264
00:48:44.539 --> 00:48:47.780
to get that done. But the dates are very tight.
1265
00:48:47.800 --> 00:48:49.260
Okay. So.
1266
00:48:50.300 --> 00:48:52.539
the exam I think in the end I was basically
1267
00:48:52.559 --> 00:48:55.219
I had my daughter and then 13 days later I
1268
00:48:55.260 --> 00:48:56.619
start the exams.
1269
00:48:56.840 --> 00:48:58.679
But you have to.
1270
00:48:58.619 --> 00:49:02.079
Do those exams like English paper one happens on the
1271
00:49:02.139 --> 00:49:04.840
Monday morning at 9 o'clock you have to sit that
1272
00:49:04.889 --> 00:49:08.409
exam then right yeah there's I still don't think there is.
1273
00:49:08.289 --> 00:49:10.210
Because it's the same exam so.
1274
00:49:10.090 --> 00:49:11.929
Obviously it's the same exam and it's locked in a
1275
00:49:12.010 --> 00:49:12.650
case and.
1276
00:49:12.570 --> 00:49:14.969
You know all that kind of stuff there's no dispensation
1277
00:49:15.050 --> 00:49:16.630
for someone that's just had a baby.
1278
00:49:16.610 --> 00:49:18.630
No and I actually when I went to the maternity
1279
00:49:18.650 --> 00:49:20.360
hospital like when I was doing my checkup and it
1280
00:49:20.380 --> 00:49:21.519
was getting really close.
1281
00:49:21.719 --> 00:49:21.920
Yeah.
1282
00:49:22.159 --> 00:49:23.800
And I was worried about.
1283
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:25.119
So you were going to do the exam?
1284
00:49:25.760 --> 00:49:26.059
Oh, yeah.
1285
00:49:26.219 --> 00:49:26.960
Doing the exam.
1286
00:49:27.420 --> 00:49:30.829
So say originally with her due dates, I would have
1287
00:49:30.869 --> 00:49:32.250
had four extra dates.
1288
00:49:32.929 --> 00:49:33.150
Yeah.
1289
00:49:33.750 --> 00:49:35.809
So say she was due on the 18th, but she
1290
00:49:35.849 --> 00:49:37.949
ended up being born on the 22nd. So I'm going
1291
00:49:37.989 --> 00:49:41.170
in for appointment... on the 18th.
1292
00:49:41.230 --> 00:49:41.489
I think.
1293
00:49:41.670 --> 00:49:41.869
Yeah.
1294
00:49:41.909 --> 00:49:43.650
And it's my due date. So I'm like, okay, well,
1295
00:49:43.670 --> 00:49:45.929
they're going to tell me to stay because she's due
1296
00:49:45.969 --> 00:49:48.590
today and I have an exam to do. And I
1297
00:49:48.610 --> 00:49:51.710
was like, they just did the exam. Yeah, everything great. Fantastic.
1298
00:49:52.030 --> 00:49:55.809
I'm like, sorry, it's my due date today. What's going on?
1299
00:49:56.070 --> 00:49:58.190
And she's like, no, it's fine. Like, this is totally normal.
1300
00:49:58.230 --> 00:49:59.869
And I was like, yeah, I know, but I have
1301
00:49:59.889 --> 00:50:02.969
to do my leaving cert. And she was like, don't worry.
1302
00:50:03.010 --> 00:50:05.349
She's like, plenty of girls have done their leaving cert
1303
00:50:05.369 --> 00:50:08.489
in here. And I was like, I was like, I'm
1304
00:50:08.530 --> 00:50:11.679
not doing my leaving certificate on the maternity ward.
1305
00:50:11.699 --> 00:50:13.320
I was like, no.
1306
00:50:14.280 --> 00:50:18.260
So I started freaking out. Not freaking out. But then,
1307
00:50:18.320 --> 00:50:21.420
so four days later, I had her. So I had
1308
00:50:21.440 --> 00:50:24.030
her in enough time to get back in and do
1309
00:50:24.050 --> 00:50:24.360
the exams.
1310
00:50:24.389 --> 00:50:27.369
Where was the baby when you were doing the exams?
1311
00:50:28.019 --> 00:50:33.030
Yes, the baby, my little baby. I have my baby.
1312
00:50:33.210 --> 00:50:35.429
Also, most people are juggling, I might miss that hen
1313
00:50:35.469 --> 00:50:37.570
do if I'm pregnant then. You're trying to get an
1314
00:50:37.650 --> 00:50:38.250
exam in.
1315
00:50:38.550 --> 00:50:40.230
I want to get that exam in because I want
1316
00:50:40.250 --> 00:50:41.170
to move on with my life.
1317
00:50:41.230 --> 00:50:42.130
Is it one exam?
1318
00:50:42.170 --> 00:50:44.210
No. I want to move on with my life.
1319
00:50:44.329 --> 00:50:45.369
I want to.
1320
00:50:45.449 --> 00:50:48.199
Because I don't want to be a grown up then
1321
00:50:48.239 --> 00:50:49.159
still in school. Yeah.
1322
00:50:49.179 --> 00:50:50.139
Do you know what I mean?
1323
00:50:50.199 --> 00:50:52.860
I was just like, oh no, this is too much. No,
1324
00:50:52.920 --> 00:50:57.460
it's a load of exams. So you've two exams in English.
1325
00:50:58.940 --> 00:51:01.139
You've like your Irish. Basically, everyone does.
1326
00:51:01.159 --> 00:51:03.190
Is this equivalent of A levels?
1327
00:51:03.289 --> 00:51:03.570
Yes.
1328
00:51:03.610 --> 00:51:07.969
So you do six, seven subjects. Everyone does six. You
1329
00:51:08.010 --> 00:51:09.909
take the marks from. But most people do seven.
1330
00:51:10.369 --> 00:51:10.530
Right.
1331
00:51:10.550 --> 00:51:13.449
So you have like your language. You might have like
1332
00:51:13.469 --> 00:51:14.940
a science subject.
1333
00:51:15.579 --> 00:51:15.780
Yeah.
1334
00:51:15.900 --> 00:51:17.139
You know, loads.
1335
00:51:17.420 --> 00:51:18.900
And you're 18. You're 18. Yeah, you're like 17, 18.
1336
00:51:18.880 --> 00:51:19.179
I'm 18. Yeah.
1337
00:51:21.429 --> 00:51:23.110
So this is so much for you to sort of
1338
00:51:23.150 --> 00:51:26.610
like deal with. Do you think when your daughter, you know,
1339
00:51:26.630 --> 00:51:29.550
who's older than that age now, she's 22, when you
1340
00:51:29.590 --> 00:51:31.769
saw her at 18, did it sort of give you
1341
00:51:31.789 --> 00:51:34.230
these mad flashbacks of like, oh my God, because when
1342
00:51:34.269 --> 00:51:35.670
you're 18, you feel like the old, because you are
1343
00:51:35.690 --> 00:51:37.820
the oldest you've ever been. You feel like you're old.
1344
00:51:37.969 --> 00:51:39.820
When I go back and do uni gigs and I
1345
00:51:39.860 --> 00:51:42.099
see 18 year olds, they'll all be rowdy. They're not,
1346
00:51:42.119 --> 00:51:43.699
they're scared little boys and girls.
1347
00:51:44.199 --> 00:51:45.099
They're babies.
1348
00:51:45.139 --> 00:51:45.739
Yeah.
1349
00:51:45.900 --> 00:51:50.480
Oh, well, I'll tell you this. Not only when she's 18.
1350
00:51:50.480 --> 00:51:50.739
Yeah.
1351
00:51:51.059 --> 00:51:55.420
She's in my old school. So she's in my old
1352
00:51:55.480 --> 00:51:59.820
school in the exact same uniform. She's got red hair
1353
00:51:59.860 --> 00:52:03.719
as well. Loads of my teachers that I had then
1354
00:52:03.760 --> 00:52:07.010
had her. I go back for a parent-teacher meeting for
1355
00:52:07.050 --> 00:52:09.429
the big year, you know, the exam year. And one
1356
00:52:09.449 --> 00:52:12.150
of my old teachers says to me, they all know me,
1357
00:52:12.170 --> 00:52:13.050
like they all know me.
1358
00:52:13.110 --> 00:52:13.769
Do you know what I mean?
1359
00:52:13.849 --> 00:52:15.510
And they were all the people that saw the bump
1360
00:52:15.610 --> 00:52:16.650
and then they're.
1361
00:52:16.289 --> 00:52:17.070
Teaching this bump.
1362
00:52:17.650 --> 00:52:18.909
And one of the teachers said to me, he's like...
1363
00:52:19.980 --> 00:52:21.980
He's like, be honest with me now. Did you cheat
1364
00:52:22.000 --> 00:52:24.960
in that history test that time? I was like, am
1365
00:52:25.139 --> 00:52:29.219
I getting slack for stuff, for homework I didn't hand
1366
00:52:29.300 --> 00:52:31.800
in 22 years ago? I was like, are you for real?
1367
00:52:34.820 --> 00:52:36.960
That's it for this episode of Parenting Help.