Speaker:
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welcome to make more love the show for
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the entrepreneurial man who wants a hot
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and healthy marriage as well as a
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successful business I'm your host Ellen
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Dorian and this is your place for
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straight up judgment free conversations
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about merging the demands of business
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with the needs of a fulfilling
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relationship we're all about supporting
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you to be extraordinary in your personal
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and your professional life living fully
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in every way that counts if you're new
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to the show please don't forget to like
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follow subscribe whatever your favorite
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podcast platform calls it so you don't
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miss anything and it would be great if
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you could share with a friend too before
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we jump in just a reminder that the make
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more love show is for information and
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entertainment purposes only it is not a
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substitute for the guidance of a
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qualified mental health or medical
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professional today I'm really excited
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that we have our first podcast guest the
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whole idea is to have conversations with
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men who run businesses who are in the
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thick of it trying to uh meet the
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demands of being in relationships and
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having a business and I'm very excited
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to have Justin wisman here today and
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Justin I'm gonna start by asking you to
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introduce yourself can you tell us a
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little bit about you and what you do who
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you serve how you help them stuff like
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that thank you beautiful Intro by the
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way I already relate to pretty much
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everything that you just said so my
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name's Justin I'm from Australia so I
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know Alan you're in the states correct
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and me personally so I see myself as a
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business owner a coach a father and a
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lover so that's really what my life
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revolves around the relationship area of
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my life has probably been one of the
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most transformative in the sense of
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where I've got the most of my growth
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from I want to talk with you about both
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business and relationships and I'm sure
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we'll jump back and forth but first can
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I ask you if you're cool with sharing on
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a personal level about your relationship
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wherever the conversation leads today
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I'm happy to go I don't really have any
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intentions here other than to be led by
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you and speak from the heart so I love
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that because I think when you try to do
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these things too formally what you end
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up with isn't as relatable to people as
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when we just jump in and share our
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experiences okay cool my personal story
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is I was pretty much a high performer or
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high achiever when I was younger in the
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area of sports so I loved like
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performing and Athletics and playing
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what we call Australian Rules here in
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Australia as well as tennis I performed
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at a high level in those as a youngster
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and then I ended up with an injury in my
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neck and that sort of transformed my
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whole Direction in life at the time and
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that's when I got really interested in
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girls that was around 1s and got into a
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couple of relationships between 17 and
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21 and it was at the age of 21 that I
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had my first real big breakup cuz I was
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dating someone who had a daughter so I
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had a little family and then that led me
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down the path of I actually ended up
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addicted to methamphetamines for 4 years
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oh wow yeah so there was a bit of a
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journey there in regards to not knowing
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how to process emotions and coming from
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a family where I wouldn't say that Mo
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emotions were devalidate or neglected
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but I would definitely say that it was
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like just harden up and and move on and
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keep doing your thing so I went through
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that for a while and then came out the
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other side of through my own personal
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Journey so I tried working with
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psychologists and different people I
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really found a gap in my experience
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through that so that sort of sent me
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down the journey on Understanding
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Psychology and human behavior I truly
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appreciate you being so open about that
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part of your life and I'm very
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interested to hear how you went from
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those circumstances to getting into
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business I'd always been interested in
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business from a young age like picking
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fruit trees from the neighborhood that I
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lived in Melbourne Australia and then
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going around door too selling them at 8
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years old so business and making money's
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also been an integral part of my life
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and then have gone on from there to
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build businesses since I was around 30
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so now 39 so the last 9 years I've had a
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really big focus on business building
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and coaching and helping business owners
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coaches facilitators to grow their
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businesses but also our own personal
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businesses that we have in the
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hospitality space as well so me and my
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wife and and family run businesses as
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well wow that's fabulous so your
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coaching focuses on Consultants coaches
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and facilitators is that right yeah so I
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have two coaching businesses I have one
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called maximum growth which is with my
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business partner T cross and so that one
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there we focus on coaches and
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facilitators it's all mindset so my
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thing is like mindset and Human
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Performance uh and helping them to work
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through their stuff to grow their
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business and then I do one to one with
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six to seven figure business owners
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helping them with their mental and
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emotional and strategic limitations when
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it comes to themselves their
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relationships and their businesses and
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outside of the coaching space we run a
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business called Devil's donuts and
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that's basically hot Jam Donuts out of
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food Vans oh wow yeah y that's hot over
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here too we've got all these pop up
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donut shops now wow interesting yeah and
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I know coffee is big in Australia I know
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we think of Americans of having a Coffee
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Culture but it's not quite as um intense
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as the Australian Coffee Culture right
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yeah Coffee Culture here in Australia is
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massive like every street that you go
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down there'll be a coffee shop and it's
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super competitive as well in regards to
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if you don't have a quality coffee
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you're out like you're gone you just
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won't make it so there's definitely a
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range from like super specialy down to
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the person who's just going to work just
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wants a coffee and something to eat but
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it's the Coffee Culture is huge here and
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nearly every third coffee shop here ends
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up roasting their own beans so it's
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really big here that sounds like a fun
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business so how long have you been in
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that and how did you get into it so how
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I got into Hospitality I was
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17 and just looking for work outside of
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school so I worked in an old school
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Italian style pizza shop where the
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family had built this business for the
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last 40 plus years and you literally had
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to work your way up through the process
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to be allowed to actually make the
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pizzas or touch the dough or do any of
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that stuff I learned a lot about
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business itself but also how to show up
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in life it was a very pivotal experience
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for me and I learned some really cool
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principles through that and then
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interestingly enough I mentioned earlier
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that that I had my addiction so my first
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step back into work again I ended up
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back there that's when I met my wife
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funnily enough so one week after I
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started she started and I remember being
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at the pizza oven and I looked across
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and there was this new girl standing at
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the coffee machine and at the time
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obviously she was very she still is very
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attractive but the thought in my head
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was like look at that butt basically and
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then from there I chased her for the
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next 8 months and then we started dating
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and so my wife has also been in
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Hospitality for a long time and so we
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ended up with a coffee shop from there
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because we were living in Adela at one
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point we moved from there back to where
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we are now which is in Bendigo Victoria
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and because we've been spoiled for
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coffee we came back here we like there's
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a huge gap in the market yeah so I think
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after six months we ended up opening a
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coffee shop and filled the Gap in the
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market in regards to the quality of the
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coffee and then also the customer
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service side of things compared to what
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we're experiencing in Adela in the field
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and then from there the donut business
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itself we bought that business so we
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didn't start that business that business
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had been around for 55 years so the
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donuts have been in for 2 years wow okay
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yeah and so were you married at the time
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that you started the business or did you
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guys get married along the way we got
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married in 2016 we met in
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2009 the coffee shop we were married
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when we started and Miller our youngest
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daughter would have been like 9 months
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old oh wow so you had a baby you had
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more than one kid yes so I've got three
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she's the youngest I can't even imagine
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how challenging that must have been
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running multiple businesses having a
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toddl running the coffee shop which
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requires you to be you at 5:00 in the
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morning and then my business where I'm
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dealing with clients from maybe 9:00 to
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10:00 on and our other daughter eie had
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just started schools but yes juggling
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fatherhood motherhood a new business and
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then obviously your relationship yeah
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it's definitely challenging so when you
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and Sarah decided to buy the coffee
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business did you do it together from the
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start and you also bought the dut
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business together right but you already
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had the coaching business before correct
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so what was that decision like for you
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what discussions did you have about your
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situation with the kids and already
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having a business what are what were
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some of those conversations like um so
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it's really interesting because the
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primary motivator was more on my wife's
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side she's highly creative and has
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always always had little creative
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businesses even now right beside me
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she's got a whole set up for creating
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earrings and things that she sells
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online and all sort of stuff before we
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had our son xavia in
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2012 she was always quite career-driven
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and once we had Xavier she started a
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little business called little red
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wardrobe making kids clothes primarily
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hats and selling them online and then we
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moved to Bendigo and she'd been tossing
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up the ideas of a few different
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businesses we knew there was a gap in
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the market cuz we'd obviously tried a
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lot of the coffee shops in bigo and
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nothing really hit the spot for us so I
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was having a chat with her and she said
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basically look I want to start a coffee
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shop and she'd been talking about it for
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a while and I just asked her one simple
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question literally what's stopping you
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from starting one and she paused for a
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second and she just said well actually
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nothing and I said okay let's just get
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it done and literally the next day the
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opportunity presented itself wow and so
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how did that go down we were training at
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a gym the next day and the owner was
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speaking to Sarah and he said I want to
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put a coffee shop in the front of the
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gym but I'm not sure I want to run it
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and so the decision was made and the
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location was found and within 2 and a
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half months we had the the coffee shop
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up and running and that's when we
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started to run into some tension and
279
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contention between US just because it
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was the managing of the family with the
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multiple businesses now silly enough we
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knew there'd be some challenges and
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problems with managing family and we
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started to run into some tension and
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stress after the fact so was a little
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bit unwise on our part but at the same
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time that was also part of the learning
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experience we just got caught up in the
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excitement of what this could do for us
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and the opportunity for Sarah to express
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herself in this way yeah abs and so that
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whose business becomes more important is
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it the one that makes the more money is
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it the one that has greater fulfillment
295
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but the reality is it's not even about
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either one being more important the
297
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question is how do you actually manage
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that in a way that both people are fied
299
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but also you're able to look after the
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family and look after each other's needs
301
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,839
so what were some of the biggest
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conflicts and how did you make the
303
00:11:07,839 --> 00:11:13,120
decision about which business to
304
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prioritize I think our biggest conflict
305
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:18,760
was how do we manage the kids and how do
306
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:20,880
we manage the the family and who's going
307
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,279
to be and this is where the the thinking
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00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,399
got caught up who's going to be the
309
00:11:22,279 --> 00:11:26,399
primary carer when the reality is is
310
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that it was neither of us with a primary
311
00:11:26,399 --> 00:11:30,639
it was more about how do we cooperate in
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order to be able to run both of our
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businesses at the same time I'd like to
314
00:11:33,639 --> 00:11:37,120
hear more of your thoughts about
315
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:39,519
overcoming stereotypes and the
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revelations that came from that but
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00:11:39,519 --> 00:11:43,680
before we do I'd like to share something
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I'm offering for my listeners a lot of
319
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,720
you have been reaching out with
320
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:49,240
questions about your own relationships
321
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:52,000
and I want to help so I'm offering my
322
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:54,040
listeners a free relationship reset call
323
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:56,440
it's a quick 15 minutes with just you
324
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:59,279
and me we'll figure out what problem to
325
00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:00,800
tackle first then we'll lay out a plan
326
00:11:59,279 --> 00:12:03,079
with one or two steps to get you moving
327
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,480
in the right direction and after that if
328
00:12:03,079 --> 00:12:06,760
you'd like more help I'll let you know
329
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:09,160
how to get it if you let your
330
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:11,000
relationship go to shite the cost to
331
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:14,040
your financial social and emotional
332
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:16,480
well-being is enormous it will truly put
333
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:19,399
a dent in your armor so let's not let
334
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:22,639
that happen head over to relationship
335
00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:24,639
reset call.com to grab your spot let's
336
00:12:22,639 --> 00:12:27,399
get you on a trajectory to make more
337
00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:30,639
love in your life and with your
338
00:12:27,399 --> 00:12:32,320
wife and we're back with Justin wisman
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the conversation's really been
340
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:36,880
fascinating so far and next I want to
341
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,800
dig into the provider myth and the
342
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,800
impact that that had on you and your
343
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:43,000
relationship while you were running all
344
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:46,040
these businesses and managing your
345
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:49,399
family my my last episode was just on
346
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:51,560
this topic about um these roles of a
347
00:12:49,399 --> 00:12:54,079
protector provider that are just so
348
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:56,240
ingrained in so many men and it's hard
349
00:12:54,079 --> 00:12:59,600
to overcome that to get to the place
350
00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,920
where you can do something new um to be
351
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,920
really honest you bought up a lot of
352
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,800
stuff about me being the provider me
353
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:07,519
being the bread winner my business
354
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:09,399
should be the priority and all that type
355
00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:11,240
of stuff that I had to really face but
356
00:13:09,399 --> 00:13:12,560
then I can see that Sarah also felt
357
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,760
guilt because her business wasn't
358
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:16,680
producing as much income even though it
359
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,320
took up a lot of time and she would give
360
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:21,000
herself up in order for me to be able to
361
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:24,279
look after my business but then at the
362
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,880
same time I would feel like I had to do
363
00:13:24,279 --> 00:13:28,199
the same for her because she was doing
364
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,440
that for me but then I'd get frustrated
365
00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:31,680
because I had things to do doing my
366
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:33,480
business and so that was The Snowball
367
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,440
Effect I kept oscillating between
368
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:37,880
frustration or resentment around her
369
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:39,920
prioritizing her business and herself
370
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,480
and then the guilt of when she was
371
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:44,079
giving up things that she loved in order
372
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:46,480
for me to look after my
373
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business for me personally it was my own
374
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:51,000
inner world that was the problem the way
375
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:53,160
I was perceiving perceiving the mine's
376
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:56,480
more important than hers and what was
377
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:59,800
your wife's response to all of this and
378
00:13:56,480 --> 00:14:01,639
did she suffer from a lot of the same
379
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,800
conditioning let's say that that you did
380
00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:05,720
did she believe that you should on some
381
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:07,639
level be the provider that you should be
382
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,240
the more your business was more
383
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:11,759
important or any of those things what
384
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,839
did she have to say about it all no
385
00:14:11,759 --> 00:14:16,000
because
386
00:14:12,839 --> 00:14:18,240
what's so interesting because and I know
387
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,959
I mentioned before we jumped on how my
388
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:23,199
relationship has been my greatest
389
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:27,000
Catalyst for growth she was disproving
390
00:14:23,199 --> 00:14:30,480
every belief or every thought that I had
391
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,720
around me having to be a provider
392
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,720
we came up with strategies and we
393
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,000
understood Underneath It All that we're
394
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,800
both putting in effort in our
395
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,480
relationship or with our family we're
396
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:42,160
both putting in effort in our businesses
397
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,800
and are both important to each of us and
398
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,800
then there's also Integrity I was able
399
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,279
to share with her where I was at but she
400
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,680
also knew that I would come out on the
401
00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:51,279
other side of that because I'd proven
402
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:54,360
that time and time again through my
403
00:14:51,279 --> 00:14:57,600
challenges she just needed me to be the
404
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:59,839
man in the sense of like still holding
405
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,320
my Integrity still holding space for her
406
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:02,680
when she needed which at that time was
407
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,120
pretty challenging I'll be honest
408
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,360
because of all this stuff that I was
409
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,839
going through and I don't want to
410
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,480
pretend I'm perfect cuz I'm not even
411
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,000
close so this is something pretty
412
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:12,959
vulnerable that I haven't really shared
413
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,680
but it proves the point that she would
414
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:17,720
go to the lowest of the low with me and
415
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:21,040
she did because we ended up homeless in
416
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:24,560
2022 oh my goodness yeah so we've had
417
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:27,600
some big ups and downs and she's always
418
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:29,199
stood by me mhm interestingly enough we
419
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,399
ended up homeless made my first seven
420
00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:35,079
figures in the next 6 months no that's
421
00:15:31,399 --> 00:15:38,120
incorrect did my first six figure weeks
422
00:15:35,079 --> 00:15:39,160
within the next 6 months oh my gosh six
423
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:43,440
figure
424
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:45,480
weeks yeah within six months yeah so we
425
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,880
went to seven figures we hit seven
426
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:50,839
figures in October of that following
427
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:53,120
year that's an incredible journey so far
428
00:15:50,839 --> 00:15:55,319
Justin and I'm so happy we're going to
429
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:57,079
continue the conversation in part two of
430
00:15:55,319 --> 00:15:59,319
this interview which is going to be
431
00:15:57,079 --> 00:16:00,959
released in a separate episode that's
432
00:15:59,319 --> 00:16:02,800
when we'll get into more detail about
433
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:05,000
how you turn your business around in
434
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:07,160
those six months and we'll get into some
435
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,839
of the broader issues like overcoming
436
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:11,839
stereotypes societal expectations the
437
00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:14,600
impact of social media and especially
438
00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:16,680
mindset shifts so for the rest of this
439
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,639
episode let's get you to share some of
440
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,800
your best practices for keeping your
441
00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:26,120
relationship hot and healthy so if you
442
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:28,000
were going to give advice to other men
443
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:31,000
who are running businesses and who have
444
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:32,720
a relationship what would you say is the
445
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,759
best piece of advice that you can give
446
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:38,759
them your top tip
447
00:16:35,759 --> 00:16:41,199
oh that is so hard you don't have to
448
00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:43,040
stop at one you can share a few yeah
449
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:45,000
okay sure the number one piece of advice
450
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,920
that I would give to
451
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:49,360
men especially if they're wanting to
452
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:51,720
grow their relationship but also have a
453
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:54,639
more fulfilling life it's about your
454
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:56,880
inner world it's not about necessarily
455
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:58,160
what they're doing or not doing it's
456
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,720
about how you're perceiving what's
457
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:02,880
happening on the side and your own
458
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,360
responses to that my perceptions my
459
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:06,480
decisions my actions are the only things
460
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:08,120
that I actually have control over so if
461
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,640
I'm trying to change my partner and she
462
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:11,400
doesn't change all I'm doing is building
463
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,559
resentment inside because she's not
464
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,760
going to change or if she does change
465
00:17:12,559 --> 00:17:16,600
she become a shell of a woman because
466
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,760
she's she isn't getting to be herself
467
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,839
she's going to no longer speak her mind
468
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,360
she's no longer going to speak her heart
469
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,160
she's going to lose her Vibrance and I
470
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,839
know for a fact as a dude that's the
471
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,959
thing that Drew you to her you don't
472
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:29,880
want an empty shell of a partner you
473
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:33,280
want her to be vibr you want to be drawn
474
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:34,520
to her she's also your greatest teacher
475
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,520
which we could probably do a whole
476
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:39,400
podcast on that so I think that's the
477
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:41,280
number one pace that's such a beautiful
478
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:44,080
explanation of why you shouldn't try to
479
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,960
change your partner I really love that
480
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:48,960
what's another best
481
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:51,200
practice one of the biggest ones that I
482
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,679
haven't really spoken about today is
483
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,720
that your relationship is separate to
484
00:17:52,679 --> 00:17:56,120
your life and so what does that mean
485
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,960
that the things that you would do in
486
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,880
life whether you had a partner or not
487
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,840
and not a contribution to your intimate
488
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:04,400
relationship so just because you make
489
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,840
money that's a contribution to your life
490
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,280
together but it's not a contribution to
491
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,360
your intimate relationship just because
492
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,120
you go and make all this money doesn't
493
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,360
mean that she feels connected to you
494
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,760
because you would go and make money
495
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:17,400
whether you're with her or not washing
496
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,880
the clothes and doing the dishes and
497
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,679
doing the [ __ ] around the house that
498
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,320
maybe you don't want to do that is a
499
00:18:20,679 --> 00:18:23,679
contribution to your life together not
500
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,760
necessarily a contribution to your
501
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:28,039
relationship together you have to
502
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:30,559
nurture the intimate relationship
503
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:33,880
element of your life it is
504
00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:36,120
separate so that realization there was a
505
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,440
huge game changer for me I'd mistaken
506
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:40,320
the two and I think a lot of us do that
507
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,600
as when we first meet we're infatuated
508
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,600
we see all the good parts of them and
509
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,440
then we start to run into some of their
510
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,360
downsides but I think that's where love
511
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,080
is it's like loving the parts of them
512
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,440
that might piss you off you still love
513
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,480
them though it's like you love those
514
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,320
parts yes and if you binded this idea
515
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,640
that you should always be close then
516
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,679
every time you're not close you'll have
517
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,080
resentment but then that's also the time
518
00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:01,080
when you won't do the things that help
519
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:03,480
you to become close that's another
520
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:06,200
profound share I love the way you
521
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:09,120
articulate these ideas do you have one
522
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:13,480
more best practice you can share okay
523
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:16,559
sure go and have fun fun people fun go
524
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:18,159
and do fun [ __ ] laugh together you need
525
00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:20,360
to laugh together if you don't laugh
526
00:19:18,159 --> 00:19:21,880
together life gets way too serious then
527
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,919
your relationship becomes way too
528
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,640
serious and then a lot of the juice and
529
00:19:23,919 --> 00:19:27,440
the squeezing life and and your
530
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:30,400
experience is gone so what kind of
531
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:33,880
things do you do going like specifically
532
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:35,880
arranging dates for her and I so taking
533
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,400
the lead there getting the kids managed
534
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,799
she doesn't have to stress I just say
535
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,159
hey we're going out at this time
536
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:42,880
everything's ordered you just get
537
00:19:41,159 --> 00:19:45,280
yourself ready and then take her on a
538
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:47,240
date like I did when we first met what
539
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:49,320
have you done that's been the most fun
540
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:52,320
recently so we went and did did an
541
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:55,360
escape room recently that was pretty fun
542
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:57,120
my wife also loves piano she plays piano
543
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:59,679
I booked a room in Melbourne we went to
544
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,400
a candle light concerts mhm so took her
545
00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:03,400
to one of them so it's also looking at
546
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,280
the things that she loves and
547
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:09,000
appreciating her for who she is but also
548
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:11,559
having fun in that we had a weekend away
549
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:14,240
and I don't think time's an excuse so
550
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:16,320
the concert was 7:00 we went out for
551
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,000
dinner in Melbourne so 2hour drive from
552
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,039
here we had to leave at 4:00 in the
553
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,240
morning to come back and run the
554
00:20:19,039 --> 00:20:23,280
business but it's most people won't do
555
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:25,039
that but that's half the fun three quars
556
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:27,280
of the fun was the conversation that we
557
00:20:25,039 --> 00:20:28,799
had in the car on the way down there and
558
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,120
then getting there seeing the concert
559
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:33,320
having dinner getting to bed knowing we
560
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:35,159
had to get up at 4:00 getting in the car
561
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:37,799
coming back on the road trip just to two
562
00:20:35,159 --> 00:20:40,600
of you having fun listening to music
563
00:20:37,799 --> 00:20:42,480
winding down reconnecting doing the
564
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,640
things that brings spark to both of you
565
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,480
this is very true so I don't want to
566
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:49,080
minimize what you did but I think this
567
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:51,480
is an important thing to say you didn't
568
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,799
rent a super yacht you didn't buy her
569
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,400
diamond pendant you didn't have the the
570
00:20:53,799 --> 00:20:57,640
world's greatest Chef come make you a
571
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:01,080
private meal you planned something that
572
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:04,400
was well within your capability to
573
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:06,320
provide as a a normal human being right
574
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,440
it doesn't have to be one of these super
575
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:11,320
grand gestures all the time just has to
576
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:14,240
be a well thought out planned date where
577
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:17,279
the basics get covered right and so that
578
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:19,640
you can go and have a good time you're
579
00:21:17,279 --> 00:21:21,960
100% on the money because like you think
580
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:24,960
about when you first meet someone and
581
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:27,240
you go on a date and you have fun you
582
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:29,840
get to know each other and you reconnect
583
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:32,919
the truth is that you probably changed
584
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:35,960
100 times 1,000 times since you first
585
00:21:32,919 --> 00:21:37,919
started dating and how often do you date
586
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:40,039
in order to get to know each other again
587
00:21:37,919 --> 00:21:42,480
and to reconnect with each other again
588
00:21:40,039 --> 00:21:43,840
and to have fun with each other again
589
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,880
and so you never really just marry the
590
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,400
one person or date the one person you
591
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,760
would know this is true Alan have a
592
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:52,559
think about when you first met your
593
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:54,720
partner and now who you are today and
594
00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:57,320
who they are today versus who they were
595
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:59,360
and so like you need these things also
596
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,760
to reconnect and get to know other like
597
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,120
you said it's not about hiring a super
598
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,520
yacht if you're going to hire a super
599
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:06,640
yacht that's more about you to be honest
600
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:08,000
it could be be yeah it's like I want to
601
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,600
hire a super yacht because I think it's
602
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,720
cool know but does my wife care that
603
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,919
we're on a super yacht maybe your wife
604
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,120
does I don't know she might think it's a
605
00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:18,840
cool experience but could you have more
606
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:21,360
fun somewhere else maybe I love the idea
607
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:23,279
that it doesn't have to be grand this is
608
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:25,360
very true I'd like to wrap up our
609
00:22:23,279 --> 00:22:27,880
episodes with three key points you can
610
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:29,919
take away from the discussion for this
611
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:32,200
one I'm just going to repeat the three
612
00:22:29,919 --> 00:22:34,919
gold bars of advice that Justin just
613
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,799
shared number one was focus on your
614
00:22:34,919 --> 00:22:39,600
inner World your thoughts your
615
00:22:36,799 --> 00:22:41,520
perceptions your behaviors and don't try
616
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:44,159
to change your partner or make them feel
617
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:47,880
like they have to hold back who they
618
00:22:44,159 --> 00:22:50,279
are the second one is recognizing that
619
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:53,039
nurturing your intimate relationship is
620
00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:54,919
separate from life's Logistics the
621
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:56,760
things you do to maintain your life
622
00:22:54,919 --> 00:22:59,120
together are different from the things
623
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:01,559
that build intimacy
624
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:04,159
and number three was make time for fun
625
00:23:01,559 --> 00:23:06,159
and laughter together enjoy each other
626
00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:08,799
and take time to recreate your early
627
00:23:06,159 --> 00:23:11,720
dating life that's the way to build more
628
00:23:08,799 --> 00:23:13,919
fulfillment and intimacy so if you've
629
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,600
loved this conversation with Justin you
630
00:23:13,919 --> 00:23:17,520
won't want to miss part two of the
631
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:20,000
interview that's going to be in an
632
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:22,159
upcoming episode we'll dig deeper into
633
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:24,200
the business side of Justin's life and
634
00:23:22,159 --> 00:23:26,120
we'll talk about big picture issues that
635
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:28,640
get in the way of men living their best
636
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:31,120
life we'll tackle some of those hot
637
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:34,120
topics including overcoming stereotypes
638
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:36,679
and societal expectations the impact of
639
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:39,919
social media and especially mindset
640
00:23:36,679 --> 00:23:42,240
shifts which is Justin's expertise so
641
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:44,120
make sure to tune in for an inspiring
642
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,200
and insightful continuation of this
643
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:48,640
conversation with Justin wisman I want
644
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,440
to ask you if people have been listening
645
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,960
and they've just resonated with you and
646
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,960
they want to work with you tell me what
647
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,440
do you offer and how can they reach you
648
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,840
and we'll also make sure that everything
649
00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,039
gets put in the show notes yeah sure so
650
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,120
we've got maximum growth that's our
651
00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:05,320
group program but that's more tailored
652
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:07,279
to for more coaches and facilitators and
653
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:09,799
our core principle is building a
654
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:11,480
business or what we call ident identity
655
00:24:09,799 --> 00:24:13,320
based business which is based around who
656
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,240
you are as an individual and then being
657
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,159
the center point of how your business
658
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:19,320
grows but there's a that's all about
659
00:24:17,159 --> 00:24:22,080
mindset and Leadership then with my
660
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:23,120
one:1 it's more tailored coaching so we
661
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,760
like figure out where you're at and
662
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:26,880
where you want to go and then we work
663
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,520
our way through that if you want to find
664
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,960
me the place that I am most is on
665
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,919
Facebook so Justin William wisman on
666
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,720
Facebook and like I said we'll have a
667
00:24:32,919 --> 00:24:37,080
link to it in the show notes so people
668
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,840
will be able to find you easily Justin
669
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:43,080
thank you so much for spending this time
670
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,720
with us and I'm really excited about
671
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:47,520
everything we've talked about it was
672
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:49,679
great to have that perspective and all
673
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,840
of your unique experience come to the
674
00:24:49,679 --> 00:24:52,919
for like that I was just happy to come
675
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,760
on to have a
676
00:24:52,919 --> 00:24:58,600
conversation um no this was fun like I
677
00:24:55,760 --> 00:25:00,520
could talk so much about relationship
678
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,320
and growth um which is something that I
679
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,799
don't often get to share I think the
680
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,799
work that you're doing and helping
681
00:25:03,799 --> 00:25:07,600
business owners with their relationships
682
00:25:05,799 --> 00:25:09,960
I think that's important so yeah I'd
683
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:12,880
love to help in this space thank you so
684
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:15,159
much for that and that is what we do
685
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:17,520
here we try to help men have the best
686
00:25:15,159 --> 00:25:20,799
relationships they can thank you for
687
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:23,320
having me on um it was a great interview
688
00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:25,640
all right I hope today's episode added
689
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,919
value to your life if you'd like more
690
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:30,480
support brainstorming or ideas here's
691
00:25:27,919 --> 00:25:33,000
three way ways to get that you can join
692
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:35,320
our private and free passionate Partners
693
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:38,440
inside our community on Facebook for
694
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:40,200
exclusive content and resources or you
695
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:42,240
can check out our website and social
696
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,960
channels to get the scoop on all of our
697
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:47,080
programs workshops and coaching and
698
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:49,520
three if you'd like to explore your
699
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,919
specific situation book a free
700
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:54,440
relationship reset call with me whether
701
00:25:51,919 --> 00:25:56,720
it's a minor tuneup or a major overhaul
702
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:59,039
we'll make a plan to get you back on
703
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,200
track you can have head over to
704
00:25:59,039 --> 00:26:05,360
relationship reset call.com to set that
705
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:07,240
up the show notes lists out everything
706
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,120
you need to find me including all the
707
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,559
links to everything I've mentioned and
708
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:13,559
my personal email I'll be here whenever
709
00:26:11,559 --> 00:26:16,240
you're ready and here are a few things
710
00:26:13,559 --> 00:26:17,919
you can do to support the show if you
711
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:21,120
haven't already please follow And
712
00:26:17,919 --> 00:26:22,760
subscribe that is a win for both of us
713
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:26,120
then if you could leave a review that
714
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:28,000
will help our community grow and if you
715
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:30,240
know someone who is struggling in their
716
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,320
own relationship please share the show
717
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,840
with them it could be life-changing for
718
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:36,760
them thanks for spreading the word this
719
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:40,120
is Ellen and that's what I've got for
720
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:42,520
you today until next time remember what
721
00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:45,159
I want most in the world is for you to
722
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:47,760
make more love in your life and with
723
00:26:45,159 --> 00:26:47,760
your wife
00:00:00
welcome to make more love the show for
2
00:00:02,639 --> 00:00:06,600
the entrepreneurial man who wants a hot
3
00:00:04,799 --> 00:00:09,719
and healthy marriage as well as a
4
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:11,960
successful business I'm your host Ellen
5
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:14,320
Dorian and this is your place for
6
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:16,279
straight up judgment free conversations
7
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:18,000
about merging the demands of business
8
00:00:16,279 --> 00:00:20,279
with the needs of a fulfilling
9
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,600
relationship we're all about supporting
10
00:00:20,279 --> 00:00:24,840
you to be extraordinary in your personal
11
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:27,519
and your professional life living fully
12
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:30,000
in every way that counts if you're new
13
00:00:27,519 --> 00:00:32,599
to the show please don't forget to like
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,920
follow subscribe whatever your favorite
15
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:37,360
podcast platform calls it so you don't
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00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:40,079
miss anything and it would be great if
17
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:42,600
you could share with a friend too before
18
00:00:40,079 --> 00:00:44,680
we jump in just a reminder that the make
19
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:47,480
more love show is for information and
20
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:49,160
entertainment purposes only it is not a
21
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:51,440
substitute for the guidance of a
22
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:54,320
qualified mental health or medical
23
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:57,120
professional today I'm really excited
24
00:00:54,320 --> 00:01:00,840
that we have our first podcast guest the
25
00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:03,800
whole idea is to have conversations with
26
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:06,240
men who run businesses who are in the
27
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:08,720
thick of it trying to uh meet the
28
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demands of being in relationships and
29
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:13,840
having a business and I'm very excited
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to have Justin wisman here today and
31
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Justin I'm gonna start by asking you to
32
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,600
introduce yourself can you tell us a
33
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:23,479
little bit about you and what you do who
34
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:25,400
you serve how you help them stuff like
35
00:01:23,479 --> 00:01:28,119
that thank you beautiful Intro by the
36
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:30,600
way I already relate to pretty much
37
00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:32,200
everything that you just said so my
38
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,439
name's Justin I'm from Australia so I
39
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:36,640
know Alan you're in the states correct
40
00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:39,000
and me personally so I see myself as a
41
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,720
business owner a coach a father and a
42
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:43,159
lover so that's really what my life
43
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:45,119
revolves around the relationship area of
44
00:01:43,159 --> 00:01:47,640
my life has probably been one of the
45
00:01:45,119 --> 00:01:49,040
most transformative in the sense of
46
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,360
where I've got the most of my growth
47
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:53,320
from I want to talk with you about both
48
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,840
business and relationships and I'm sure
49
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:57,840
we'll jump back and forth but first can
50
00:01:55,840 --> 00:02:00,439
I ask you if you're cool with sharing on
51
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:02,039
a personal level about your relationship
52
00:02:00,439 --> 00:02:04,560
wherever the conversation leads today
53
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:07,600
I'm happy to go I don't really have any
54
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:11,160
intentions here other than to be led by
55
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:13,000
you and speak from the heart so I love
56
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,840
that because I think when you try to do
57
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,959
these things too formally what you end
58
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:19,840
up with isn't as relatable to people as
59
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:22,840
when we just jump in and share our
60
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,800
experiences okay cool my personal story
61
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,120
is I was pretty much a high performer or
62
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,080
high achiever when I was younger in the
63
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:30,319
area of sports so I loved like
64
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,879
performing and Athletics and playing
65
00:02:30,319 --> 00:02:33,640
what we call Australian Rules here in
66
00:02:31,879 --> 00:02:35,680
Australia as well as tennis I performed
67
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,000
at a high level in those as a youngster
68
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,319
and then I ended up with an injury in my
69
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,239
neck and that sort of transformed my
70
00:02:39,319 --> 00:02:42,440
whole Direction in life at the time and
71
00:02:41,239 --> 00:02:45,879
that's when I got really interested in
72
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:48,400
girls that was around 1s and got into a
73
00:02:45,879 --> 00:02:51,680
couple of relationships between 17 and
74
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:53,680
21 and it was at the age of 21 that I
75
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,920
had my first real big breakup cuz I was
76
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:58,040
dating someone who had a daughter so I
77
00:02:55,920 --> 00:03:00,280
had a little family and then that led me
78
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:02,720
down the path of I actually ended up
79
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,840
addicted to methamphetamines for 4 years
80
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:07,120
oh wow yeah so there was a bit of a
81
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:10,080
journey there in regards to not knowing
82
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:12,360
how to process emotions and coming from
83
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,840
a family where I wouldn't say that Mo
84
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,080
emotions were devalidate or neglected
85
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,840
but I would definitely say that it was
86
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,959
like just harden up and and move on and
87
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,599
keep doing your thing so I went through
88
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that for a while and then came out the
89
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other side of through my own personal
90
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Journey so I tried working with
91
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psychologists and different people I
92
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really found a gap in my experience
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through that so that sort of sent me
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down the journey on Understanding
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Psychology and human behavior I truly
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appreciate you being so open about that
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part of your life and I'm very
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interested to hear how you went from
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those circumstances to getting into
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business I'd always been interested in
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business from a young age like picking
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fruit trees from the neighborhood that I
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lived in Melbourne Australia and then
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going around door too selling them at 8
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years old so business and making money's
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also been an integral part of my life
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and then have gone on from there to
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build businesses since I was around 30
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so now 39 so the last 9 years I've had a
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really big focus on business building
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and coaching and helping business owners
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coaches facilitators to grow their
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businesses but also our own personal
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businesses that we have in the
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hospitality space as well so me and my
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wife and and family run businesses as
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well wow that's fabulous so your
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coaching focuses on Consultants coaches
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and facilitators is that right yeah so I
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have two coaching businesses I have one
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called maximum growth which is with my
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business partner T cross and so that one
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there we focus on coaches and
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facilitators it's all mindset so my
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thing is like mindset and Human
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Performance uh and helping them to work
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through their stuff to grow their
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business and then I do one to one with
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six to seven figure business owners
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helping them with their mental and
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emotional and strategic limitations when
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it comes to themselves their
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relationships and their businesses and
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outside of the coaching space we run a
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business called Devil's donuts and
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that's basically hot Jam Donuts out of
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food Vans oh wow yeah y that's hot over
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here too we've got all these pop up
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donut shops now wow interesting yeah and
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I know coffee is big in Australia I know
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we think of Americans of having a Coffee
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Culture but it's not quite as um intense
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as the Australian Coffee Culture right
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yeah Coffee Culture here in Australia is
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massive like every street that you go
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down there'll be a coffee shop and it's
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super competitive as well in regards to
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if you don't have a quality coffee
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you're out like you're gone you just
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won't make it so there's definitely a
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range from like super specialy down to
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the person who's just going to work just
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wants a coffee and something to eat but
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it's the Coffee Culture is huge here and
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nearly every third coffee shop here ends
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up roasting their own beans so it's
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really big here that sounds like a fun
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business so how long have you been in
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that and how did you get into it so how
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I got into Hospitality I was
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17 and just looking for work outside of
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school so I worked in an old school
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Italian style pizza shop where the
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family had built this business for the
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last 40 plus years and you literally had
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to work your way up through the process
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to be allowed to actually make the
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pizzas or touch the dough or do any of
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that stuff I learned a lot about
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business itself but also how to show up
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in life it was a very pivotal experience
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for me and I learned some really cool
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principles through that and then
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interestingly enough I mentioned earlier
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that that I had my addiction so my first
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step back into work again I ended up
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back there that's when I met my wife
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funnily enough so one week after I
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started she started and I remember being
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at the pizza oven and I looked across
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and there was this new girl standing at
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the coffee machine and at the time
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obviously she was very she still is very
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attractive but the thought in my head
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was like look at that butt basically and
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then from there I chased her for the
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next 8 months and then we started dating
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and so my wife has also been in
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Hospitality for a long time and so we
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ended up with a coffee shop from there
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because we were living in Adela at one
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point we moved from there back to where
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we are now which is in Bendigo Victoria
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and because we've been spoiled for
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coffee we came back here we like there's
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a huge gap in the market yeah so I think
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after six months we ended up opening a
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coffee shop and filled the Gap in the
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market in regards to the quality of the
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coffee and then also the customer
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service side of things compared to what
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we're experiencing in Adela in the field
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and then from there the donut business
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itself we bought that business so we
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didn't start that business that business
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had been around for 55 years so the
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donuts have been in for 2 years wow okay
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yeah and so were you married at the time
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that you started the business or did you
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guys get married along the way we got
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married in 2016 we met in
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2009 the coffee shop we were married
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when we started and Miller our youngest
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daughter would have been like 9 months
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old oh wow so you had a baby you had
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more than one kid yes so I've got three
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she's the youngest I can't even imagine
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how challenging that must have been
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running multiple businesses having a
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toddl running the coffee shop which
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requires you to be you at 5:00 in the
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morning and then my business where I'm
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dealing with clients from maybe 9:00 to
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10:00 on and our other daughter eie had
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just started schools but yes juggling
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fatherhood motherhood a new business and
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then obviously your relationship yeah
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it's definitely challenging so when you
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and Sarah decided to buy the coffee
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business did you do it together from the
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start and you also bought the dut
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business together right but you already
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had the coaching business before correct
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so what was that decision like for you
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what discussions did you have about your
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situation with the kids and already
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having a business what are what were
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some of those conversations like um so
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it's really interesting because the
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primary motivator was more on my wife's
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side she's highly creative and has
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always always had little creative
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businesses even now right beside me
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she's got a whole set up for creating
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earrings and things that she sells
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online and all sort of stuff before we
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had our son xavia in
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2012 she was always quite career-driven
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and once we had Xavier she started a
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little business called little red
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wardrobe making kids clothes primarily
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hats and selling them online and then we
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moved to Bendigo and she'd been tossing
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up the ideas of a few different
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businesses we knew there was a gap in
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the market cuz we'd obviously tried a
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lot of the coffee shops in bigo and
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nothing really hit the spot for us so I
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was having a chat with her and she said
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basically look I want to start a coffee
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shop and she'd been talking about it for
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a while and I just asked her one simple
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question literally what's stopping you
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from starting one and she paused for a
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second and she just said well actually
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nothing and I said okay let's just get
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it done and literally the next day the
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opportunity presented itself wow and so
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how did that go down we were training at
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a gym the next day and the owner was
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speaking to Sarah and he said I want to
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put a coffee shop in the front of the
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gym but I'm not sure I want to run it
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and so the decision was made and the
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location was found and within 2 and a
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half months we had the the coffee shop
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up and running and that's when we
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started to run into some tension and
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contention between US just because it
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was the managing of the family with the
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multiple businesses now silly enough we
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knew there'd be some challenges and
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problems with managing family and we
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started to run into some tension and
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stress after the fact so was a little
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bit unwise on our part but at the same
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time that was also part of the learning
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experience we just got caught up in the
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excitement of what this could do for us
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and the opportunity for Sarah to express
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herself in this way yeah abs and so that
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whose business becomes more important is
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it the one that makes the more money is
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it the one that has greater fulfillment
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but the reality is it's not even about
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either one being more important the
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question is how do you actually manage
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that in a way that both people are fied
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but also you're able to look after the
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family and look after each other's needs
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so what were some of the biggest
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conflicts and how did you make the
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decision about which business to
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prioritize I think our biggest conflict
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was how do we manage the kids and how do
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we manage the the family and who's going
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to be and this is where the the thinking
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got caught up who's going to be the
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primary carer when the reality is is
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that it was neither of us with a primary
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it was more about how do we cooperate in
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order to be able to run both of our
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businesses at the same time I'd like to
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hear more of your thoughts about
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overcoming stereotypes and the
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revelations that came from that but
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before we do I'd like to share something
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I'm offering for my listeners a lot of
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you have been reaching out with
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questions about your own relationships
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and I want to help so I'm offering my
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listeners a free relationship reset call
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it's a quick 15 minutes with just you
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and me we'll figure out what problem to
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tackle first then we'll lay out a plan
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with one or two steps to get you moving
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in the right direction and after that if
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you'd like more help I'll let you know
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how to get it if you let your
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relationship go to shite the cost to
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your financial social and emotional
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well-being is enormous it will truly put
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a dent in your armor so let's not let
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that happen head over to relationship
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reset call.com to grab your spot let's
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get you on a trajectory to make more
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love in your life and with your
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wife and we're back with Justin wisman
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the conversation's really been
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fascinating so far and next I want to
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dig into the provider myth and the
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impact that that had on you and your
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relationship while you were running all
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these businesses and managing your
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family my my last episode was just on
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this topic about um these roles of a
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protector provider that are just so
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ingrained in so many men and it's hard
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to overcome that to get to the place
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where you can do something new um to be
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really honest you bought up a lot of
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stuff about me being the provider me
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being the bread winner my business
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should be the priority and all that type
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of stuff that I had to really face but
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then I can see that Sarah also felt
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guilt because her business wasn't
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producing as much income even though it
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took up a lot of time and she would give
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herself up in order for me to be able to
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look after my business but then at the
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same time I would feel like I had to do
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the same for her because she was doing
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that for me but then I'd get frustrated
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because I had things to do doing my
366
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:33,480
business and so that was The Snowball
367
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,440
Effect I kept oscillating between
368
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:37,880
frustration or resentment around her
369
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:39,920
prioritizing her business and herself
370
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,480
and then the guilt of when she was
371
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:44,079
giving up things that she loved in order
372
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:46,480
for me to look after my
373
00:13:44,079 --> 00:13:48,800
business for me personally it was my own
374
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:51,000
inner world that was the problem the way
375
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:53,160
I was perceiving perceiving the mine's
376
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:56,480
more important than hers and what was
377
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:59,800
your wife's response to all of this and
378
00:13:56,480 --> 00:14:01,639
did she suffer from a lot of the same
379
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,800
conditioning let's say that that you did
380
00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:05,720
did she believe that you should on some
381
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:07,639
level be the provider that you should be
382
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,240
the more your business was more
383
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:11,759
important or any of those things what
384
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,839
did she have to say about it all no
385
00:14:11,759 --> 00:14:16,000
because
386
00:14:12,839 --> 00:14:18,240
what's so interesting because and I know
387
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,959
I mentioned before we jumped on how my
388
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:23,199
relationship has been my greatest
389
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:27,000
Catalyst for growth she was disproving
390
00:14:23,199 --> 00:14:30,480
every belief or every thought that I had
391
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,720
around me having to be a provider
392
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,720
we came up with strategies and we
393
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,000
understood Underneath It All that we're
394
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,800
both putting in effort in our
395
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,480
relationship or with our family we're
396
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:42,160
both putting in effort in our businesses
397
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,800
and are both important to each of us and
398
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,800
then there's also Integrity I was able
399
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,279
to share with her where I was at but she
400
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,680
also knew that I would come out on the
401
00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:51,279
other side of that because I'd proven
402
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:54,360
that time and time again through my
403
00:14:51,279 --> 00:14:57,600
challenges she just needed me to be the
404
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:59,839
man in the sense of like still holding
405
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,320
my Integrity still holding space for her
406
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:02,680
when she needed which at that time was
407
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,120
pretty challenging I'll be honest
408
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,360
because of all this stuff that I was
409
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,839
going through and I don't want to
410
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,480
pretend I'm perfect cuz I'm not even
411
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,000
close so this is something pretty
412
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:12,959
vulnerable that I haven't really shared
413
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,680
but it proves the point that she would
414
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:17,720
go to the lowest of the low with me and
415
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:21,040
she did because we ended up homeless in
416
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:24,560
2022 oh my goodness yeah so we've had
417
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:27,600
some big ups and downs and she's always
418
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:29,199
stood by me mhm interestingly enough we
419
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,399
ended up homeless made my first seven
420
00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:35,079
figures in the next 6 months no that's
421
00:15:31,399 --> 00:15:38,120
incorrect did my first six figure weeks
422
00:15:35,079 --> 00:15:39,160
within the next 6 months oh my gosh six
423
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:43,440
figure
424
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:45,480
weeks yeah within six months yeah so we
425
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,880
went to seven figures we hit seven
426
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:50,839
figures in October of that following
427
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:53,120
year that's an incredible journey so far
428
00:15:50,839 --> 00:15:55,319
Justin and I'm so happy we're going to
429
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:57,079
continue the conversation in part two of
430
00:15:55,319 --> 00:15:59,319
this interview which is going to be
431
00:15:57,079 --> 00:16:00,959
released in a separate episode that's
432
00:15:59,319 --> 00:16:02,800
when we'll get into more detail about
433
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:05,000
how you turn your business around in
434
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:07,160
those six months and we'll get into some
435
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,839
of the broader issues like overcoming
436
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:11,839
stereotypes societal expectations the
437
00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:14,600
impact of social media and especially
438
00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:16,680
mindset shifts so for the rest of this
439
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,639
episode let's get you to share some of
440
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,800
your best practices for keeping your
441
00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:26,120
relationship hot and healthy so if you
442
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:28,000
were going to give advice to other men
443
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:31,000
who are running businesses and who have
444
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:32,720
a relationship what would you say is the
445
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,759
best piece of advice that you can give
446
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:38,759
them your top tip
447
00:16:35,759 --> 00:16:41,199
oh that is so hard you don't have to
448
00:16:38,759 --> 00:16:43,040
stop at one you can share a few yeah
449
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:45,000
okay sure the number one piece of advice
450
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,920
that I would give to
451
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:49,360
men especially if they're wanting to
452
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:51,720
grow their relationship but also have a
453
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:54,639
more fulfilling life it's about your
454
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:56,880
inner world it's not about necessarily
455
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:58,160
what they're doing or not doing it's
456
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,720
about how you're perceiving what's
457
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:02,880
happening on the side and your own
458
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,360
responses to that my perceptions my
459
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:06,480
decisions my actions are the only things
460
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:08,120
that I actually have control over so if
461
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,640
I'm trying to change my partner and she
462
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:11,400
doesn't change all I'm doing is building
463
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,559
resentment inside because she's not
464
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,760
going to change or if she does change
465
00:17:12,559 --> 00:17:16,600
she become a shell of a woman because
466
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,760
she's she isn't getting to be herself
467
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,839
she's going to no longer speak her mind
468
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,360
she's no longer going to speak her heart
469
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,160
she's going to lose her Vibrance and I
470
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,839
know for a fact as a dude that's the
471
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,959
thing that Drew you to her you don't
472
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:29,880
want an empty shell of a partner you
473
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:33,280
want her to be vibr you want to be drawn
474
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:34,520
to her she's also your greatest teacher
475
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,520
which we could probably do a whole
476
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:39,400
podcast on that so I think that's the
477
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:41,280
number one pace that's such a beautiful
478
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:44,080
explanation of why you shouldn't try to
479
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,960
change your partner I really love that
480
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:48,960
what's another best
481
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:51,200
practice one of the biggest ones that I
482
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,679
haven't really spoken about today is
483
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,720
that your relationship is separate to
484
00:17:52,679 --> 00:17:56,120
your life and so what does that mean
485
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,960
that the things that you would do in
486
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,880
life whether you had a partner or not
487
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,840
and not a contribution to your intimate
488
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:04,400
relationship so just because you make
489
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,840
money that's a contribution to your life
490
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,280
together but it's not a contribution to
491
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,360
your intimate relationship just because
492
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,120
you go and make all this money doesn't
493
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,360
mean that she feels connected to you
494
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,760
because you would go and make money
495
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:17,400
whether you're with her or not washing
496
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,880
the clothes and doing the dishes and
497
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,679
doing the [ __ ] around the house that
498
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,320
maybe you don't want to do that is a
499
00:18:20,679 --> 00:18:23,679
contribution to your life together not
500
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,760
necessarily a contribution to your
501
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:28,039
relationship together you have to
502
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:30,559
nurture the intimate relationship
503
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:33,880
element of your life it is
504
00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:36,120
separate so that realization there was a
505
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,440
huge game changer for me I'd mistaken
506
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:40,320
the two and I think a lot of us do that
507
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,600
as when we first meet we're infatuated
508
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,600
we see all the good parts of them and
509
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,440
then we start to run into some of their
510
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,360
downsides but I think that's where love
511
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,080
is it's like loving the parts of them
512
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,440
that might piss you off you still love
513
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,480
them though it's like you love those
514
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,320
parts yes and if you binded this idea
515
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,640
that you should always be close then
516
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,679
every time you're not close you'll have
517
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,080
resentment but then that's also the time
518
00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:01,080
when you won't do the things that help
519
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:03,480
you to become close that's another
520
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:06,200
profound share I love the way you
521
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:09,120
articulate these ideas do you have one
522
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:13,480
more best practice you can share okay
523
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:16,559
sure go and have fun fun people fun go
524
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:18,159
and do fun [ __ ] laugh together you need
525
00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:20,360
to laugh together if you don't laugh
526
00:19:18,159 --> 00:19:21,880
together life gets way too serious then
527
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,919
your relationship becomes way too
528
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,640
serious and then a lot of the juice and
529
00:19:23,919 --> 00:19:27,440
the squeezing life and and your
530
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:30,400
experience is gone so what kind of
531
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:33,880
things do you do going like specifically
532
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:35,880
arranging dates for her and I so taking
533
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,400
the lead there getting the kids managed
534
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,799
she doesn't have to stress I just say
535
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,159
hey we're going out at this time
536
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:42,880
everything's ordered you just get
537
00:19:41,159 --> 00:19:45,280
yourself ready and then take her on a
538
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:47,240
date like I did when we first met what
539
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:49,320
have you done that's been the most fun
540
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:52,320
recently so we went and did did an
541
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:55,360
escape room recently that was pretty fun
542
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:57,120
my wife also loves piano she plays piano
543
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:59,679
I booked a room in Melbourne we went to
544
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,400
a candle light concerts mhm so took her
545
00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:03,400
to one of them so it's also looking at
546
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,280
the things that she loves and
547
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:09,000
appreciating her for who she is but also
548
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:11,559
having fun in that we had a weekend away
549
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:14,240
and I don't think time's an excuse so
550
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:16,320
the concert was 7:00 we went out for
551
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,000
dinner in Melbourne so 2hour drive from
552
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,039
here we had to leave at 4:00 in the
553
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,240
morning to come back and run the
554
00:20:19,039 --> 00:20:23,280
business but it's most people won't do
555
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:25,039
that but that's half the fun three quars
556
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:27,280
of the fun was the conversation that we
557
00:20:25,039 --> 00:20:28,799
had in the car on the way down there and
558
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,120
then getting there seeing the concert
559
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:33,320
having dinner getting to bed knowing we
560
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:35,159
had to get up at 4:00 getting in the car
561
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:37,799
coming back on the road trip just to two
562
00:20:35,159 --> 00:20:40,600
of you having fun listening to music
563
00:20:37,799 --> 00:20:42,480
winding down reconnecting doing the
564
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,640
things that brings spark to both of you
565
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,480
this is very true so I don't want to
566
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:49,080
minimize what you did but I think this
567
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:51,480
is an important thing to say you didn't
568
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,799
rent a super yacht you didn't buy her
569
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,400
diamond pendant you didn't have the the
570
00:20:53,799 --> 00:20:57,640
world's greatest Chef come make you a
571
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:01,080
private meal you planned something that
572
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:04,400
was well within your capability to
573
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:06,320
provide as a a normal human being right
574
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,440
it doesn't have to be one of these super
575
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:11,320
grand gestures all the time just has to
576
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:14,240
be a well thought out planned date where
577
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:17,279
the basics get covered right and so that
578
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:19,640
you can go and have a good time you're
579
00:21:17,279 --> 00:21:21,960
100% on the money because like you think
580
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:24,960
about when you first meet someone and
581
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:27,240
you go on a date and you have fun you
582
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:29,840
get to know each other and you reconnect
583
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:32,919
the truth is that you probably changed
584
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:35,960
100 times 1,000 times since you first
585
00:21:32,919 --> 00:21:37,919
started dating and how often do you date
586
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:40,039
in order to get to know each other again
587
00:21:37,919 --> 00:21:42,480
and to reconnect with each other again
588
00:21:40,039 --> 00:21:43,840
and to have fun with each other again
589
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,880
and so you never really just marry the
590
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,400
one person or date the one person you
591
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,760
would know this is true Alan have a
592
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:52,559
think about when you first met your
593
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:54,720
partner and now who you are today and
594
00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:57,320
who they are today versus who they were
595
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:59,360
and so like you need these things also
596
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,760
to reconnect and get to know other like
597
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,120
you said it's not about hiring a super
598
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,520
yacht if you're going to hire a super
599
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:06,640
yacht that's more about you to be honest
600
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:08,000
it could be be yeah it's like I want to
601
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,600
hire a super yacht because I think it's
602
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,720
cool know but does my wife care that
603
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,919
we're on a super yacht maybe your wife
604
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,120
does I don't know she might think it's a
605
00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:18,840
cool experience but could you have more
606
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:21,360
fun somewhere else maybe I love the idea
607
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:23,279
that it doesn't have to be grand this is
608
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:25,360
very true I'd like to wrap up our
609
00:22:23,279 --> 00:22:27,880
episodes with three key points you can
610
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:29,919
take away from the discussion for this
611
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:32,200
one I'm just going to repeat the three
612
00:22:29,919 --> 00:22:34,919
gold bars of advice that Justin just
613
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,799
shared number one was focus on your
614
00:22:34,919 --> 00:22:39,600
inner World your thoughts your
615
00:22:36,799 --> 00:22:41,520
perceptions your behaviors and don't try
616
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:44,159
to change your partner or make them feel
617
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:47,880
like they have to hold back who they
618
00:22:44,159 --> 00:22:50,279
are the second one is recognizing that
619
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:53,039
nurturing your intimate relationship is
620
00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:54,919
separate from life's Logistics the
621
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:56,760
things you do to maintain your life
622
00:22:54,919 --> 00:22:59,120
together are different from the things
623
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:01,559
that build intimacy
624
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:04,159
and number three was make time for fun
625
00:23:01,559 --> 00:23:06,159
and laughter together enjoy each other
626
00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:08,799
and take time to recreate your early
627
00:23:06,159 --> 00:23:11,720
dating life that's the way to build more
628
00:23:08,799 --> 00:23:13,919
fulfillment and intimacy so if you've
629
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,600
loved this conversation with Justin you
630
00:23:13,919 --> 00:23:17,520
won't want to miss part two of the
631
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:20,000
interview that's going to be in an
632
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:22,159
upcoming episode we'll dig deeper into
633
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:24,200
the business side of Justin's life and
634
00:23:22,159 --> 00:23:26,120
we'll talk about big picture issues that
635
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:28,640
get in the way of men living their best
636
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:31,120
life we'll tackle some of those hot
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topics including overcoming stereotypes
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and societal expectations the impact of
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00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:39,919
social media and especially mindset
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00:23:36,679 --> 00:23:42,240
shifts which is Justin's expertise so
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00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:44,120
make sure to tune in for an inspiring
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00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,200
and insightful continuation of this
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00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:48,640
conversation with Justin wisman I want
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00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,440
to ask you if people have been listening
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00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,960
and they've just resonated with you and
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00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,960
they want to work with you tell me what
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00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,440
do you offer and how can they reach you
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00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,840
and we'll also make sure that everything
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00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,039
gets put in the show notes yeah sure so
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00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,120
we've got maximum growth that's our
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00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:05,320
group program but that's more tailored
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00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:07,279
to for more coaches and facilitators and
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00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:09,799
our core principle is building a
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00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:11,480
business or what we call ident identity
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00:24:09,799 --> 00:24:13,320
based business which is based around who
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00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,240
you are as an individual and then being
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00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,159
the center point of how your business
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00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:19,320
grows but there's a that's all about
659
00:24:17,159 --> 00:24:22,080
mindset and Leadership then with my
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00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:23,120
one:1 it's more tailored coaching so we
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00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,760
like figure out where you're at and
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00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:26,880
where you want to go and then we work
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00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,520
our way through that if you want to find
664
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,960
me the place that I am most is on
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00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,919
Facebook so Justin William wisman on
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00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,720
Facebook and like I said we'll have a
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00:24:32,919 --> 00:24:37,080
link to it in the show notes so people
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00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,840
will be able to find you easily Justin
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00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:43,080
thank you so much for spending this time
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00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,720
with us and I'm really excited about
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00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:47,520
everything we've talked about it was
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00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:49,679
great to have that perspective and all
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00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,840
of your unique experience come to the
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00:24:49,679 --> 00:24:52,919
for like that I was just happy to come
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00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,760
on to have a
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00:24:52,919 --> 00:24:58,600
conversation um no this was fun like I
677
00:24:55,760 --> 00:25:00,520
could talk so much about relationship
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00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,320
and growth um which is something that I
679
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,799
don't often get to share I think the
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00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,799
work that you're doing and helping
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00:25:03,799 --> 00:25:07,600
business owners with their relationships
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00:25:05,799 --> 00:25:09,960
I think that's important so yeah I'd
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00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:12,880
love to help in this space thank you so
684
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:15,159
much for that and that is what we do
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00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:17,520
here we try to help men have the best
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00:25:15,159 --> 00:25:20,799
relationships they can thank you for
687
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:23,320
having me on um it was a great interview
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00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:25,640
all right I hope today's episode added
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00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,919
value to your life if you'd like more
690
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:30,480
support brainstorming or ideas here's
691
00:25:27,919 --> 00:25:33,000
three way ways to get that you can join
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00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:35,320
our private and free passionate Partners
693
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:38,440
inside our community on Facebook for
694
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:40,200
exclusive content and resources or you
695
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:42,240
can check out our website and social
696
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,960
channels to get the scoop on all of our
697
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:47,080
programs workshops and coaching and
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00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:49,520
three if you'd like to explore your
699
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,919
specific situation book a free
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00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:54,440
relationship reset call with me whether
701
00:25:51,919 --> 00:25:56,720
it's a minor tuneup or a major overhaul
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00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:59,039
we'll make a plan to get you back on
703
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,200
track you can have head over to
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00:25:59,039 --> 00:26:05,360
relationship reset call.com to set that
705
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:07,240
up the show notes lists out everything
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00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,120
you need to find me including all the
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00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,559
links to everything I've mentioned and
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00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:13,559
my personal email I'll be here whenever
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00:26:11,559 --> 00:26:16,240
you're ready and here are a few things
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00:26:13,559 --> 00:26:17,919
you can do to support the show if you
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00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:21,120
haven't already please follow And
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00:26:17,919 --> 00:26:22,760
subscribe that is a win for both of us
713
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:26,120
then if you could leave a review that
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00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:28,000
will help our community grow and if you
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00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:30,240
know someone who is struggling in their
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00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,320
own relationship please share the show
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00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,840
with them it could be life-changing for
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00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:36,760
them thanks for spreading the word this
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00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:40,120
is Ellen and that's what I've got for
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00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:42,520
you today until next time remember what
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I want most in the world is for you to
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00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:47,760
make more love in your life and with
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00:26:45,159 --> 00:26:47,760
your wife
