Protector

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All right, So in this review I make a mistake.
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I referenced an earlier film that Mila Djovivich did, and
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because I was thinking and talking way too fast, I
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pulled the wrong Bruce Willis reference. Out of my mind.
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I say that she was in the sixth sense, but
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it's the wrong numbered Willis film. She was, of course
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in the fifth element. Hopefully you can understand how I
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made this mistake and spare me the emails and dms.
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I caught the mistake, it was just too late to
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do anything about it. That's life. In these live recording
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podcast streets, I can tell you with one hundred percent
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certainty that Mila Jovivic is in fact the Protector. I'm
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Ronald Young Junior, and I'm leaving the theater. All right.
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This is Ronald and I am leaving the theater after
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seeing Protector. Protector written by bung sieb Munn, directed by
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Adrian Grunberg, starring Mila Djoviovich, Matthew Modine, dB Sweeney, Don Harvey,
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and Michael Stall, David per Usual. For a complete listing
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of the cast and crew, you could check out the
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link in our show notes. It is just me today.
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If you listen to Hoppers. You know that this is
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the third part of a three day, four movie marathon.
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I saw Project Hail Mary yesterday. Earlier today I saw Hoppers,
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and then I left Hoppers and came immediately over to
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Tyson's Corner to watch Protector. Protector is a film starring
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Mila Djovivich, and the best way to describe this film
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is if John Wick and Taken had a terrible baby,
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just a baby that they had a child, and it
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just you were like, how could this be the child?
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There are resemblances, but how could this be the same child.
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The best thing about this movie is that it is
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an hour and thirty five minutes long. Other than that,
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this is a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible terrible movie. Everything.
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There's little things like there's a way that Mila Djoviovich
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is talking that is making me think she did something
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to her mouth or she's trying to do an accent.
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Either way, it just it does not work. I almost
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want y'all to go see this movie so y'all can
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know what I'm talking about. Mila Jovivich is a former
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soldier who finds who has to She's formal special for
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former Special Forces. She has to go home to take
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care of her daughter after her husband dies of leukemia.
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She's missed most of her child's life growing up. It
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shows glimpses of her from age three to sixteen on
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her birthday, her missing birthday sometimes being there, that type
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of thing. Her father dies of leukemia, therefore she has
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to go home and take care of her daughter. So
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her husband dies of leukemia and she has to go
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home and take care of her daughter. She goes home
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to take care of her. She decides that she wants
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to go out for a sixteen birthday instead of hanging
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out with mom. They have a little bit of a
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bit of a fight, and then she goes to a bar.
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She is human trafficked. Mila Djovivich goes to try to
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save her, and that is the rest of the film.
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So right off the bat, I just was like one star,
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one star, right off the bat, because something happens early
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in the film where basically the same thing they always
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say in most films like this, you only have seventy
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two hours before the trail goes cold, and Mila Djovivich
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finds herself in a predicament where she's beat up some
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of the bad guys while trying to get her daughter back.
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They're able to escape. She's lying on the ground, knocked out,
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and the clock starts at seventy two hours. Then inexplicably,
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the clock jumps ahead to only forty four hours being left,
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and she's like, I'm running out of time, and we
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see her upside down in a butcher's meat locker type
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situation where obviously the guy that's about to torture her
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is going to die horribly right off the bat, I
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said one star, I don't know why y'all just skipped ahead,
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because in that thirty hours that they skipped, they showed
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this very quick montage of her burning down a whorehouse,
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beating the trash out of the dude that actually that
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first trafficked her daughter, and kind of just going on
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a rampage while alerting everyone in the bad guy club
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the syndicate that she's out to get them. Why did
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I miss that? Why would you not show that to me?
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What are you doing? I was sitting there watching this
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and I remember thinking, well, I'm definitely gonna have to
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watch Taken because in taking one of the best parts
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about that film, and I don't talk about Taking two
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or Taken three, But in Taking the first, it just
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they made a good movie. They made a good movie.
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You're rooting for Brian to find I remember the name
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of the character. You're rooting for Brian to find his daughter.
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You're rooting for him the entire time. And they they
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know that the action of the film is better than
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who's doing the action. Yeah, we see Liam Neeson's face
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doing stuff, asking questions, that type of thing. But bottom
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line is they want to give us good shots of
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the action because this is an action movie. Protector. On
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the other hand, it's bad. The acting is bad, the
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score is bad. It looks cheap. I'm thinking about the score.
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That's how I know it's bad. It's just it's dark,
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it's dower, it's tones. They couldn't afford nobody good. They
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got somebody's cousin to do this. It's not good. It
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looks cheap. The seat, the sets look like airbnbs. It's
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filmed in New Mexico, and it's shot to look like California.
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It just it doesn't look good. And maybe it's not
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shot to look like California. Maybe I'm supposed to tick
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in its new Mexico. However, unfortunately, Vince Gilligan in Breaking
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Bad and Pluribuss has such a love affair and Better
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Call Saul has such a love affair with the American
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Southwest that it's hard for me to look at a
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movie like this and be like, Mandy, y'all hate the
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American Southwest. This is terrible. Yeah. So I brought up
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to taking comparisons because for a film like this, you
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don't have to reinvent the wheel. They already have good
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movies like this that have been made. You can just
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copy those movies. It's fine. Man on Fire is one
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of my favorite movies until Taken came out, and I said,
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oh man, what a great film. They really took something
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and they made it even better. But they didn't necessarily
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reinvent the wheel with the vengeful, vengeful parent or parent
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figure going after their child. And in this film, they
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just man, I, oh boy, what a bad movie. Just
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bad acting bad, I said, score bad. The antagonists are
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cartoonishly evil. They're using words like livestock and merchandise, and
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I'm like, oh, we get it. They're bad guys. We
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know we want them to die. We get it. You
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don't have to say much about them for us, for
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me to want them. They don't have to say much
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at all to be like, kill those guys, what are
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we talking about. There's just several times in which the
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plot just doesn't make sense, and then there is a
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twist at the end of the film. Matthew Modine is
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in this film. There's a twist at the end of
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the film that he explains that I almost stood up
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and actively started booing. I almost booed this film right
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off the screen. It was one of those films in
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which I wanted to connect with the other people in
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the audience to be like, we all agreed this was garbage, right.
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Everyone got up and left quietly. No one clapped or
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or hooted or talked to their neighbors. Everyone just got
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up and left quietly. And I remember thinking, Oh, y'all
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didn't like it either. Y'all saw this Mila Joviovic movie,
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and we thought, man gonna get a good movie with Milijoviovich.
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We've watched her in Resident Evil and probably some other
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action movies and or The Sixth Sense, and we've really
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enjoyed her career. Wow, I feel like she was doing
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a favor for a friend or something. Just I mean
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it's bad. I I don't think I need to say
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that it's bad much longer. It's just it's a bad movie.
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That being said, better than Scream seven. With all that,
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one point five of five stars. That's right. I would
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still watch this before I watched Scream seven again, that's right.
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You heard me. You heard me. One point five stars,
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not quite too, not very good, not as bad as
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Scream seven. And with that leaving the theater is a
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production of Oh It's Big Ron Studios. I mixed this episode.
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You have heard me talking about this four movie three
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day marathon in which I've just done my double feature.
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I have one more movie to go tomorrow, and I
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will have four weeks of content for y'all, four episodes
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Hot Fresh ready to go. All I gotta do is
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edit them through next week. So I'll edit probably one
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on Sunday, and I'll probably edit one every day Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
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just to make sure that I'm ahead of schedule and
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that everything's coming out nice. If you are in the Patreon,
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you will be getting Project Hail Mary this Friday. Now
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here's the interesting thing about this no one who's in
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the patreon is probably hearing what I'm saying now because
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this part of the episode is not in the patreon.
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So I'm only telling y'all that are not in the
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patreon that this Friday, everyone's gonna have the Project Hail
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Mary review, and you're not gonna get it until Monday
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because you're not in there. Now. I'm working hard out here.
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I'm watching these movies. I'm giving you my little thoughts
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on them. I'm forcing my opinion on you. As Curtis
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said one time to me, this is what I do
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because I love movies way more than you do. Oh no,
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why is he getting personal with the audience. It's been
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a long day, all right. I've done a lot of
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labor for y'all. It's a labor of love, but it's
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still labor. If that means something to you, please join
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theepatreon patreon dot com slash Oh it's big. Ron joined
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because that was a really good pitch. Just join and
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say you know what, Ronald baby Spy, I'm a joint.
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Or you could go to the link in our show notes.
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Show art from Heather Wilder. Theme music by the Mysterious
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Breakmaster cylinder. For more information about Protector, check out our
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show notes. You can follow me on Instagram, Blue Sky, TikTok, Threads,
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or letterboxed at Owitz Big Ron. That's at O H
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I T S b I g R O N. You
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can find out more about the show and other Owens
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big Rond Studio shows by following us on Instagram at
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Owitz pig Round Studios. Leaving the theater will be back soon.
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Thanks for listening.