Creating Something New - Even When You're Full of Doubt (S17E1)

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If we're connected on Instagram, you might have noticed that I've been almost in a sort of Freudian and kind of leaking kind of way, mentioning that I've been working on something new.
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Welcome to the Henny Flynn podcast the space for deepening self-awareness with profound self-compassion space for deepening self-awareness with profound self-compassion.
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I'm Henny, I write, coach and speak about how exploring our inner world can transform how we experience our outer world, all founded on a bedrock of self-love.
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Settle in and listen and see where the episode takes you.
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And listen and see where the episode takes you.
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And in and amongst all the excitement, all of the anticipation that I have and all of the delight in creating, there is fear, there is anxiety, there is doubt, and I have decided to bring all of that here, to open it up, to allow it into the light, to allow it to breathe rather than pushing it down and, you know, only allowing it to show up in the pages of my journal, which is where it has been showing up, and also in conversations with Anton.
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I have to say, and my realisation has been, that this is part of my process, is part of my process.
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So when I create something new, I need to go through all of those stages of doubt, and I think this is true of everybody who creates anything, whether that's a new career or bringing a new person into the world Any parent will know that that is also filled with doubt and with fear or whether it is creating something new in, you know, in our work, or creating a piece of art, you know.
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So, with all all creation comes doubt, and if you listen to the episode on certainty, then you'll have heard me talk about how, you know, certainty can be the enemy of growth.
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So we need, we need this, uh, this liminal space.
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We need to be in this space of the grey for something new to be able to shape itself, to form itself, to gestate and to start to grow into whatever it might be.
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So the fears that I've been holding about this, this thing that I'm creating, and I'm going to be deliberately a little bit, um, uh, opaque around what it is, because I don't want this episode to be, um, a kind of launch episode.
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This is really about me coming and sharing with you about the process that I've been going through, and maybe there's something in here that will really support you if you're also in the process of creating something or have experienced some of these feelings yourself in the past and maybe there's something that will resonate or something that will spark a new thought for you.
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So some of the thoughts that have been going through my head.
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I don't know what I'm doing.
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No one will be interested.
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It's a waste of energy.
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I should be focusing on things I already know and I'm stuck.
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They're just a sort of small handful of some of these thoughts and, you know, alongside that has been all of the excitement, all of the energy to go with it, and so, you know, even just naming those out loud is so useful, and I don't know if you can hear, you know, in my voice it's like oh gosh, honey, you know.
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You know, when we air things, we take some of the sting out of them, we start to take some of the power out.
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Or maybe a better phrase is we start to return some of our power to us and and stop handing it over to the um, to our fears, and obviously our fears are just trying to protect us, um, but it's a way of letting them know that we've listened, we've heard them and um, and and we've got this.
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You know, we're, we're like we're paying attention, um, because you know these fears that I'm having about this thing I'm creating, um, maybe no one will be interested.
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You know, that's that's fair enough, that's there's nothing I can do about that um, but that's not enough to stop me, and that's because I'm also listening to the voice inside me that says this thing, this thing that is calling you, this thing that is asking to be born, to be created, is what I'm meant to be doing right now, and I'm also really, really trusting that.
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So something that has been sort of running alongside this work that I've been doing this, this quiet, creative work, has been I've been running a small group course called connecting with your hopes and dreams.
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Now, I love how the universe, um brings an idea.
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So the you know the thought of of running this course, that this began sort of a little while ago, and what I didn't know was that it was going to be the most perfect accompaniment to the creation of one of my hopes and dreams, and you know that's beautiful synchronicity, isn't it?
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And you know, nothing's an accident, um, because it's been so useful to to run this it's a five-week course, actually runs over six weeks and it's been so useful for my own inner explorations and it's been so beautiful, sitting with this small group of incredible humans and you know working together, facing into our conditioned thinking, facing into what blocks us, facing into the strategies that we traditionally use to maintain our status quo, you know, to sort of stop us pushing out to the edges of things and, obviously, to really step into our deepest hopes and dreams.
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We're stepping toward the edges the edges and you know using flow journaling, using coaching techniques to help us step toward the edges with safety.
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And one of the things here is that this thing I've been creating it's, it's a space, it's a space where I want to create oh gosh, it's so interesting.
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I mean, I can even feel myself stumble like do I?
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Do I share this now?
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Do I wait?
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And it feels right to wait, actually to not share too much now, because I think that would just be a distraction from what I really want to talk about.
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So if this is sparking kind of curiosity for you, then please stay close.
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You know, come and join the mailing list, because that is my mailing list where I'm going to share most about it.
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Particularly, you know, initially I'm going to talk about it with the people who are closest to me.
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So if that includes you already amazing, and if you're not yet part of the mailing list, please do sign up.
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But essentially it's a place for reflection, connection, journaling, self-awareness, but the thing that it is most of all is a place that feels safe, and I've been really aware of the need that I actually have been having as I've been doing this creative thinking and sitting with my doubt.
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Is that really what I was looking for was a place of safety, somewhere where I could take my fears and my doubts around this growth that I'm experiencing now and and be able to sit with it without anybody trying to fix me, without anybody trying to tell me what I should do or what I shouldn't do, but just a space where I could be trusted, um, to work it out, um, but in you know, sort of community, um, and that that feels really interesting.
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That you know I'm.
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It's like life, imitating art, imitating life.
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You know, it's one of those things where you look in the mirror and you see the thing ricocheting.
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And for me, you know, I've been turning to my journal.
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I have also turned to trusted others as well, people who I know will hold the space around me as I do some of my reflecting, and that's been incredibly powerful.
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Oh gosh, where was my thought going to go then?
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Oh well, I suppose one of the other things that's sort of been bobbing up for me is that yesterday, when we had the final session of the Hopes and Dreams course I am going to run it again, by the way, because it sold out and I know how powerful it is.
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So if that resonates with you, then let me know and I can put you on to the waiting list.
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But, um, uh, one of the exercises that we did yesterday was in recognition that often, when we're in a process of creation, we can find ourselves disregarding things that we have created in the past, whatever they may be.
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And it can be so powerful to look at something that you've already brought into fruition, you've already brought into the world, and to see what were the three steps, just three.
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What were three steps that you took to make that happen?
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And when I did mine, I actually I chose to think about creating that hopes and dreams course.
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It was the first time I'd run something that was very you know, that was exactly like that, and so the first step I took was trusting I had the skill and experience.
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The second step was jumping in before I could change my mind, and the third step was telling people about it.
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Now, there were obviously many, many other steps within that, but writing that reminded me that when I was in my old corporate career, I used to have this awful phrase and I'm so sorry for sharing it with you.
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I've actually shared it here before, so you might have heard it before, but if you haven't, I'm so sorry for um offending your delicate ears with this, but I had this awful phrase, um, which was if you want something doing, start a fight.
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That's nice, isn't it, um?
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But what it meant to me was that in that, like huge, I used to work at huge corporate.
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You know, thousands, thousands and thousands, like thousands and thousands and thousands of people worked there, and I was relatively senior, so I had this sort of the tendrils of my influence stretched out relatively far.
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So the people that I was connected with it was many, many, many people, and I used to run these very big projects that involved, you know, sometimes hundreds of people, all needing to be aware in some way or directly involved in what we were doing.
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And so this idea of you know, if you want something doing, start a fight, basically meant that you have to cut, cut through.
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You have to cut through so much noise in that kind of environment, so much resistance that actually sometimes the only way to do it was to.
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You know that the thing that Canadians have been doing with the Trump administration, you know, sort of like elbows out sometimes you just had to do that.
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You had to like wade in and go like, right, we are doing this Kind of kick it off and then deal with the fallout.
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Now, I'm not suggesting that that is a particularly healthy technique.
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However, what I am recognizing is that the part of me that was able to do that, that was able to create that strategy that did work for me in that kind of corporate space, that part also holds that knowledge in a way that can really support me now.
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In a way that can really support me now.
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So when I was thinking about the creation of that Hopes and Dreams course and I did that exercise, like what were three steps jumping in before I could change my mind and I actually put in brackets, starting the fight, you know, taking the step.
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It's the feel, the fear, and do it anyway.
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It's that kind of mindset and I'm recognising, you know, and it feels like it's settling deeper and deeper and deeper in my body, even just being here and talking to you.
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So thank you so much for being part of the creation of this space that I am.
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You know, birthing Is that.
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You know that feeling of the settling in and the just do it, my darling.
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Just do it, let's just see how it goes.
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Everything is an experiment and it will be okay, like whatever happens, it will be okay, whatever happens, I will learn from it, and and I I also want to share with you the piece of journaling that came to me yesterday from the prompt that we use right at the very end of the Hopes and Dreams course, and if you do sign up to it, hopefully you'll have forgotten this prompt by the time we get there, because we're going to be using it again.
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You'll have forgotten this prompt by the time we get there, because we're going to be using it again.
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Um and uh, it reminded me that I know that everything that I create is born out of love and and it's a very um, it feels to me like a very pure form of love, and I know that when I connect back with that part, that part of me that really knows the truth so deeply, then really, whatever offering I bring up and out and into the world, I can sit with that and be, be with it, and maybe it offers something that is of value to others too, and obviously that is always the intention you know to be of service.
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So to let our share this piece of writing with you and maybe it sparked something for you too.
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So this final prompt that we wrote to yesterday was as I look forward, I nurture my hopes and dreams by.
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So, as I look forward, I nurture my hopes and dreams by listening deeply to myself, not second-guessing how something will be or not be, allowing myself to dream big, bigger, trusting what I am creating.
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To dream big, bigger, trusting what I am creating, holding a bigger space with more people trusting that I am enough, that what I am here to share will give people something only they know they are seeking.
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I also listen to others with discernment.
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I allow myself to hear what's being said, not through the lens of my own self-prejudice or judgment of them, but simply as the words they are saying, and I allow that what I am creating now will feed into and be part of what I am creating in the future.
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All things are interconnected, including everything I create.
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Nothing stands in isolation.
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We are all one, and I nurture my hopes and dreams by remembering they, like me, are born of love.
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That feels so moving to me to read that.
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I almost feel like that's my manifesto.
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It's so wonderful when in our journal, you know, even in, you know so for me writing that I'm holding that space, I'm with that group of people, I'm essentially in the role of, you know, facilitator, coach, and, and, and, and this wisdom came through.
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It was so useful to read that I think particularly to remember that what I am creating now will feed into and be part of what I am creating in the future.
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And I want to add an addendum to that just as everything that I've ever created in the past feeds into and nurtures and nourishes what I create now, and that is the same for all of us All of our experiences in the past, they all are part of how we experience the present.
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And what we experience now and what we experienced in the past are all part of how we experience and create our future.
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So, you know, acknowledging that, acknowledging the steps that we have taken, the successes that we have realized in the past, you know that opens up a question around what is success.
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It's very different things to all of us, um, but, you know, acknowledging that, um, we have moved forward in the past can be such a powerful reminder that we can move forward now, and that being here now, in this moment, in itself is a way of moving forward, because everything changes all the time.
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Um, is there anything else that I wanted to to share?
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To share, I think, the other thing, just to sort of circle back actually to that point around safety, that I recognize that.
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You know, when we moved here, it was largely because I had this vision that I wanted to create a solo retreat space, because I know that that is something that I really needed during my own like deep and profound, uh, you know, um tightly packed period of change, and I say it in in those words because obviously I'm still going through my own growth.
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You know, we all are endlessly for the rest of our lives.
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We don't wake up and, you know, stay awake without continuing to do the work we have to.
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You know, continue to pay attention to things, because falling back to sleep is very alluring at times, you know, particularly when the world feels big and heavy.
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And going back to sleep can be very, very attractive.
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So we continue to do the work in order to remain awake.
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And so, you know, just as creating the solo retreat space here has been such an important creation for me because I saw it was something that I and actually we've got a retreat guest here at the moment, and it's just so glorious holding space for this beautiful soul and doing the work that we're doing together and holding space as they do their own work.
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So, just as you know, that is something that I recognize I needed and therefore I have created it in exactly the same way.
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Uh, this more virtual space that I'm uh alluding to um and that I will share a lot more about um is something that I recognize I have needed, and and not being able to find the format, the, the way that I am envisaging creating what's rising up within me, and so you know, I think that's often the case.
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I remember, actually, when doing the episode with Adam Lind about his book Floating Home, and one of the things that he was talking about was he almost felt it was a kind of almost like a selfish process for him to write the book, because he recognized that there was really so much learning in there.
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That was for him, and my observation was I think so often when we are creating something is because it's the thing that we most need.
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So, even if we're creating something that is in essence in service to others, um, we are, you know, whether that's a piece of art or a um, or a building, or bringing a new human into the world, or um, you know, creating a new course or writing a book, or um, you know, running a project in our workplace.
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You know all of these things.
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If it's something that feels like it's really like asking to come up and out and through you, then often it's because it's bringing a deep and powerful value to you, and that is okay too.
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And it's so funny because when I was first sort of thinking about running the hopes and dreams course and I was filled with doubt obviously before I ran it, thinking who are you to think that you could do this and why would anybody want to come and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah I also recognized that actually, I also recognized that actually really deeply connecting and taking that time in group with others, in a really safe space with others, to connect with my own hopes and dreams was going to be valuable for me.
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What I didn't realize was quite how valuable it was going to be.
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So I am going to sign off now and in a few weeks maybe a couple of weeks I'm going to launch this creation in alignment with the moon.
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Um, I think I've I've said to you before that, um, I've been really curious about how I've observed my energy levels, um, mapping the phases of the moon, and I've I've sort of played with this idea of, uh, working more in alignment with the moon, um, uh, going from a really kind of cynical stance, which I recognize as a part of me, um, into a more open stance definitely another part of me and into a uh well, let's give it a go Also a part of me stance.
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So I'm in that place now.
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I've kind of come through my cynicism and my openness and I'm now into the give it a go, why not?
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So I'm going to really work with the phases of the moon and the first full moon in June our next full moon, actually, I think it is I am going to begin sharing.
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So I look forward to doing that and I really really deeply hope it's something that calls to you and I would so love you to be part of what really creates this space.
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All right, my darlings, I am sending you so much love and a hug and a wave.
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Actually, hang on a minute.
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I've just realized I meant to tell you about something else.
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I've just done a really lovely close.
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Anyway, um, I've got another couple of courses coming up.
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They're already in the diary.
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There's one beginning today which I'm really excited about, which also sold out, which is about self, about change with self-compassion.
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That's really really going deep into like how self-compassion supports change.
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We've already got a waiting list for that course, so I am running it again in September.
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Begins on September the 10th I think it's a Wednesday and all of these small group flow, journaling, group coaching.
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They are lunchtime courses.
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They run for an hour and 15 minutes for four weeks on the same day each week, and hopefully that means that if you're in a working environment, maybe you're able to clear your diary enough to be able to come and join um, and that would be amazing.
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So I'm trying to make them as um accessible as possible and also I'm really aware of my own energy levels and running these things in the evening just doesn't work for me.
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Um, I do occasionally do events in the evenings, but it's that's not where my energy is like at its like peak, henny.
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So so they're lunchtime courses, and so there's one beginning 10th of September, which is about change with self-compassion, and then there's one before that, which is beginning I think it's the 10th of July, but I I might be wrong which is a Thursday for four weeks, which is all about shifting from a lack mindset to an abundance mindset.
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Now, there's a lot of stuff out in the world about lack mindset, scarcity mindset, lot of stuff out in the world about lack mindset, scarcity mindset, and I think it's really worth exploring.
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And lack can relate to the beliefs that we hold around time, around money, around our own enoughness, around so many things around know, do we know enough?
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Um, you know energy levels, blah, blah.
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So I think it's such a beautiful topic to explore, using the tools and techniques that I'll be sharing.
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So flow journaling is part of that and also bringing in some of these.
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You know my formal, like coaching skills, the stuff that I'm professionally trained in, so I would love you to join us.
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I'm going to put links into the notes in this episode, in this episode, and you can always, um, just have a look on my website, hennyflintcouk, and go on to the events and courses page and you'll see all the information that you need.
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Or follow me on eventbrite is the other really good thing to do, and that way you'll see when new things come up.
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Okay, uh, that it, and thank you so much for listening.
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And you know, if it sparks things for you, please do tap and send me a note on the.
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You know, send me a message on the notes, you know, of this episode.
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Right at the top of the show notes, you'll see there's a little link that you can tap and send me a message.
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I would really love to hear your reflections.
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Or please email me, and if you email me then I can reply.
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So and also just say if you enjoy this podcast, please do leave a review, particularly on Apple or Spotify.
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I think you can do that on Spotify as well.
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Please do leave a review because it's such a fantastic way of sharing this work with others and, you know, I think this is the work that is so valuable, so useful for so many of us.
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All right, my darlings, I know it's valuable for me anyway, and that's all we can know, isn't it?
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Anyway, all right, my loves.
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I am now heading off and I send you another hug and a wave, thank you.