WEBVTT
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Hello.
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Good morning.
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Welcome to Embody Wisdom, Walk and the Talk with Dr.
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Brooke.
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Live from my neighborhood.
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Um starting to feel like fall, my favorite season.
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I haven't done my walk and talks in the fall, so be hearing a lot.
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My favorite part is like leaves crunching.
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But not quite there yet.
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But it always comes, isn't that wonderful?
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Well, at least for now the seasons, they always change.
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Everything's always changing.
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So if you're unhappy with something, then um you can change it.
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Yeah.
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That's another there's a season for all things.
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Season for all things.
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Under having ecclesiastes.
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You don't think of that from a religious standpoint.
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I always think about that around this time of year.
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Because it's Jewish holidays and for me that I don't know.
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And the beginning of the school year, and although I don't really participate that in like that in the same way I used to, which is just stoltifying really.
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I can't still can't get over it.
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I never thought I'd be one of those people that watches the kindergartners walk to school and feel nostalgic for another time because I think the thing that maybe has to do with point of focus.
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Like, because when it's over, it's over.
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When something changes, it's over.
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It's done.
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When it really changes, not when it adapts.
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I think there's a big thing between, I've talked about this before, adaptation and change.
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When you adapt to something, it's sort of like it looks different.
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It looks different, but you feel the same inside.
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I don't know, you know what I mean?
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It's not the same as when something fundamentally changes, and something can fundamentally change outside of you, or it can change inside of you.
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You know, I just think this thing about like, you know, really changing.
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I've been thinking a lot about this, really changing.
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Because real change involves a big change in our mindsets.
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And the thing about our mindsets is that they've been fixed for a long time.
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Because, you know, we're brought up in a place and it programs our mindset, and the atmosphere we grow up in programs our neurology.
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And because of that, it's very um like uh convoluted regarding how we end up undoing that let's say how we end up undoing the that that that started long before we even had conceptualization of what was starting.
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So the reason why it's so hard, in my opinion, to change is because what we're changing, we're blind to, um, if it's a mindset.
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Often.
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You know, sometimes it's obvious, um, but my experience is often it's not.
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So we have a lot to say, we have symptoms, and we have sadness, and we have like very serious amounts of worry, um, high symptoms and intense symptoms of anxiety.
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Um, people come to see me and they make an assumption that that symptom is not really coming from an origin.
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But I um, but I don't, I I think it is.
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Um, the thing is that's not easy to change.
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And so these symptoms can be sometimes they're called intractable, sometimes they're called treatment resistant, because people don't really know what it is that's bothering them, and it's a blind spot.
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So when we're really gonna change, and we want to change something because something's causing us pain in our hearts, but we don't know what that is because we've repressed it, we've regressed it, we've erased it.
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I mean, our unconscious mind does this.
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Now, this is the thing, right?
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Our unconscious mind erases things that are too traumatic for us to comprehend.
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Erase is probably a strong word.
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It's probably more like you delete it on the computer, but it's already always there, you know.
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Someone can always find it.
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Like once it's there, it's there.
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That's what these type of imprints are like.
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So you have to have the confidence within you to understand that you're not dis-eased or uncomfortable or upset for no reason, there's something upsetting you, but that could be actually a mindset.
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So you see what I'm saying?
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If it's a mindset that's upsetting you, if you're constantly telling yourself, so if I could give you an example, um if I see if I really look at my house and I see a mess, and I'm saying really look, because let's say this is where there could be a blind spot.
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Usually locked if it's open today.
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Taking a picture of that.
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It's usually locked, but it's open today.
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See what that means.
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Um and the thing is, is things being messier or dirty growing up, it was like a federal offense.
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It was like, it was like the worst.
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There were so many things that were the smallest things ever.
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That was the worst thing that could ever happen in my house.
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And and the signs that were of disrespect rather than I don't know, you didn't, you, you know, your mindset doesn't focus the outside like mine, it more focuses on the inside to them just a mess.
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And because I'm a mess, I'm disgusting and because I'm never gonna have love.
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You know, it's like it becomes like this entire thing, and I'm disrespectful and I don't appreciate.
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I mean, it was unbelievable how much angst a dish in a s in the sink could cause.
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But this wasn't the only angst.
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It was everything was like that.
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It was like a nitpicking machine factory.
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Um, and it was intergenerationally like that.
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In fact, my great grandm my grandmother, my great, you know, my kid when they became a great-grandmother, my kids didn't want like her.
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You know, not because she was old and sometimes the way kids don't like the way older people feel to them, or whatever.
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No, it was because she wouldn't stop wiping their noses, like like compulsively, because you know, when they're little and they go to preschool and their noses are wrong, wouldn't stop it.
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And so they she became aversive to them because of that, and I she became aversive to me because of that.
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Um, I would argue that she even died because of that, because she wouldn't stop cleaning, she wouldn't stop standing up when she shouldn't, she kept paying your head.
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You know, so I sometimes I'll say like people in my family they die of compulsivity or they die of what they don't know because it tends to be an autoimmune issue that runs through my family, and it is all because of the deep emotions from behaving in ways that we do not agree with, except we don't know that.
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I mean, what is like the phenomenon here in the human condition that we purposely can't deal with, the things we can't deal with, so we purposefully, on some level, unconsciously forget them.
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And when we want to change them, we have such a deep resistance to changing them, and the reason why we have such a deep, you know, resistance to changing them is because uh we forgot what was bothering us, and that becomes resistance, it's not even purposeful, it feels like we're trying to do it sometimes, try and it's like not fair because there's a lot of things people have been trying to tell me a long time about my mental state, and I didn't understand what they meant, and the reason I didn't have an understand what they meant is really because I had no alternative, I hadn't had another experience, but let's say the nitpicking, so that I'm nitpicking myself, and I don't know I'm doing it, it's running, but wow, that makes you feel really bad.
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Makes you feel really bad.
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So yesterday was teeming rain here in this country.
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Now all of a sudden you're around we're around here yesterday, you got like imminent death threat things on your phone.
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I mean, I don't even know, like, but weather's weird these days, so but they're basically like don't leave your house because the flooding.
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I was like, that's not usual around here, but also maybe who knows the predictive variables are better, or maybe they're just freaking us out.
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I don't know, doesn't really matter.
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But anyway, the railings of my deck, the dirt on them, has been, I don't know, bothering me forever for this whole summer.
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And I decided yesterday, I mean it's the fall, uh, we're gonna have limited time only sitting on that deck.
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My kids are not home, they're not gonna be sitting, but all summer I realized something like you're disgusting.
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You're disgusting.
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You let these railings get this dirty, you don't take care of them, you're disgusting.
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This is telling myself.
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Except then, this is even better.
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When I would go to think about cleaning them, you're like, you don't know how to clean any.
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You're not good at cleaning.
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You can't do it.
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You don't know how to do it.
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And but it's pouring rain, so I'm like thinking, let me just try to do this my way.
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I didn't look up how to do it.
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I don't like how much rocket science here goes to the beginning of the session.
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How much rocket science could possibly go into what you know, and these are designed, they're not like wood, you know.
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I'm not trying to do something impossible, they're like designed to stay clean.
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You know, they're newer, they're not like all natural, that nothing like that.
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So I find a scrub brush, and my husband's like, wait, let's d-da-da.
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I'm like, no, no.
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No, I'm just doing it right now.
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And let me think the other thing about dish soap.
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Dish show and a ball and a and a bowl and teeming rain and a scrub brush.
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Because I could see some of the dirt was already coming off because the rain was so hard.
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And for an hour, I scrubbed it all down, scrubbed it all down.
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And but the thing is I was a psycho about it.
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I mean, it's like it's like I'm a psycho about dirt.
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And when I really came to like really came in touch with that feeling, I got really upset.
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Like not a little upset.
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Like this isn't fair.
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Not like like upset, like like you can hear in my voice today, like not like upset, like because I believed it was true.
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It was upset because I like believed it wasn't true.
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I mean, and then I went into, I mean, it was like a little psycho.
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Like, then I went into like, should I get the hose?
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Wash it down.
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You know, I don't think that the rain's gonna really, I really think I have to wipe this dirt away.
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And then I thought, wipe this dirt away.
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Hmm, maybe I should go get a towel.
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So I got a towel, I wiped the dirt away, and they were clean.
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Except the corners were not.
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And I could hear that the corners are not done.
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You leave everything left undone.
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I mean, it's really upsetting, but it was real.
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That was a memory of actual experience.
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And let's say it's the ancestry, because there's all these ideas of how we carry the ancestry with us, going, and and I'm thinking, like, how how am I gonna get anything done?
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Even let's say, because there's ideas about the ancestry I'm taking this pretty intense or very intense course.
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And and it's sort of like there's like a group of the ancestry that's kind of like, yeah, they like actually believe that.
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Like you're setting them free, because this whole idea about like the about why ancestors want you to have children, is because they need embodied beings, embodied wisdom, right?
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They need embodied beings to keep the generations going, to have human existence, for them to have a legacy, you know, and so they're gonna promote that.
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Um they're gonna promote the embodiment like of new individuals, and then they want their values carried on.
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And I don't know, maybe people, I you know, this is not, this is like, you know, you think about the stories people tell.
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I just watched a great movie, by the way, recommended.
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Uh it was called The Death of Robin Hood.
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It's a very intense movie, but it shows up how like, you know, how we inherit all of these ideas about things and about people and about who came before us.
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But how much how many of those stories are actually true or contrived based in trying to protect the next generation or oh by the way, here's some beginning of fall.
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Yeah.
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Okay, so now I'm gonna I'm gonna jump over today because I would consider the way my mind works like that, a blind spot.
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Like the self-annihilation, because I don't didn't know, maybe you know, or I don't know, and sometimes I know it's when that's a tape running, or if that's something I actually really feel.
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So I actually really, really, really three months ago wanted to watch the f wanted to watch the um the uh railings.
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And I didn't because this tape was running about what a bad cleaner, how I don't know what I'm doing, that I should check with my husband.
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I mean, it was just going on and on and on.
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Well, for a long time, this is this was my intro to this this podcast, I have been encouraged to have a social media presence, you know, with my branding, especially with this leg of my business.
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And I can't tell you the number of times I try to do it.
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I try to do it a lot, a lot of times.
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And I start, they start it, and then and I make it, and here it is.
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It's like first of all, I make it into the biggest deal ever.
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Just like the federal cases that were made out of cleaning, going anywhere.
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I mean, it was like everything was the biggest deal ever.
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So here it is.
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This is the biggest deal ever, and it's the biggest deal ever.
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And I'm the most important person ever, and everyone's critique, I'm the center of everything, and everyone's critiquing my whatever, you know, whatever.
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Okay.
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Now, this is interesting because if you're of my generation and people multiple generations listen to this, you know, you get it because you didn't have social media your whole life.
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It's not something you're indoctrinated into.
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And so you can meet it with, I'm going to say, a more objective eye.
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What I mean by that objective eye is because I could sort of know, well, I don't like social media, and these are the reasons why, opposed to had I started within social media and that think I should like it.
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There's been a million opinions about social media while I've been on this planet, and not all of them are good, and not all of them are bad, and there's been a lot of reviews over the years, and I've tried this on and off over the years, and I think because I've come to terms with this nitpicky thing, it has maybe or hopefully helped with my paralysis around this because the same process that happened with the rattlings happens when I go to post something.
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Who do you think you are?
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You know, you didn't like this, this is stupid.
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Um maybe what you're saying is wrong, maybe no one wants to really hear what you're saying.
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And like the thing is, if I didn't want to keep, if I didn't want to do this, here comes the interesting thing about desire.
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Then I wouldn't want to do it.
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I I mean, I'm just saying, I just wouldn't do it.
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You don't have to do social media.
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Like, I don't do social media in my private life, but I do feel compelled to do it in my professional life.
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And why is that?
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I don't know.
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I don't know, and it's encouraged, people have encouraged it.
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Patients have asked me to do it, people want to hear more about what I have to say.
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I've been studying things my whole life for this purpose, and I was able to get started and be consistent with the podcast, and now I'm gonna try to do that, or I'm going to do that.
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But I have to confront this, and here is what I wanted to get at a little earlier, which came around a little later, is that it hurts.
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It hurts in a way that's very unexpected.
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Because when I see this in my mind's eye, it's not the end of the phone.
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I still gotta take out that microphone.
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I'm still planning on doing that, so sorry if you're getting some interruption, but um so the painful part is like is in expressing myself anyway.
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Okay, it's in expressing myself anyway, it's in cleaning the railings, even if I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
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And it's in step by step on social on Instagram because I don't know what I'm doing.
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And other people will be like, they might even say, like, oh, I love this.
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Super simple.
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They think it's deliberate, you know, it's all that stuff, it's vintage, you know.
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Like, no, actually, it's fear, not fear, it's it's I have no idea what I'm doing, actually.
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But in that it's genuine, it is a hundred percent genuine, and it's coming from a hundred percent genuine place.
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So, but let me tell you, it was I had to sit and commit to it, and I thought, I thought that these were hobby bushes.
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We have a lot of pictures today.
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A lot of pictures.
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I'm gonna see if I can put more than one picture up.
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So, sorry about that little break there.
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So, um not that you're not used to it.
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So anyway, I guess um, you know, seeing for me this podcast, it's such a I just come, I talk, it's imperfect.
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I show up, it's imperfect.
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You know, I come from this, you know, very cutthroat academic world where this is not, you don't just like show up and talk about something and it just be okay.
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You know, you gotta prepare for a hundred years to make sure it's all organized, it's all quoted, it's all proven.
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And, you know, I think a lot of times this is what we're trying to do, we're trying to prove those things wrong from our allly life.
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And then all this, instead of becoming like some fun endeavor, we're doing to see how we're received, see what we want to put out there, feel ourselves out.
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We're so restricted, and I see people suffer with this so much, it can make you feel so unwell.
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How restricted you are because you're waiting for something to change.
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And when I tell you, could talk about this until you're blue in the face, but until you are ready to do it, and that readiness comes at different times, and you could put your foot in and take it out and put your foot, take it out.
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But the pressure sometimes, and that's the pressure in the mind, it's a mindset, it's a windy part of the space today.
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Hope it's coming through.
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Um, that's important you stay close to context because that's what I was like thinking.
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Oh, this will motivate me to change up the um to the microphone because I want to make sure you can hear me.
00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:55.200
But you see, that comes, that's not from the picky land, that's not from you're crazy, that's not no, that's from like right in front of me.
00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:58.880
Right in front of me.
00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:06.559
And right in front of me is people telling me that the podcast helps them.
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:08.160
That's what happens right in front of me.
00:24:08.319 --> 00:24:15.279
Not that everyone relates to everyone, nor should they, nor do I relate to everything I listen to, but I don't expect that.
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:19.759
But I'm born to do it, so I'm doing it.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:21.039
I want to do it, so I'm doing it.
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:23.599
I'm compelled to do it, so I'm doing it.
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:38.240
But the overcomplication piece that comes from that original fused template is going, you gotta prove you're not what they said you were.
00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:41.599
And so, how are you gonna do anything?
00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:44.160
Because you're believing you're that, so you won't do it.
00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:46.720
That's how mindset get our way in our way.
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:51.519
But I'm describing this for I wonder how long I could not see this.
00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:56.319
You're an enemy to yourself.
00:24:56.480 --> 00:25:00.720
Like how I couldn't see that I just wasn't doing it.
00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:02.640
I was preparing to do it.
00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:04.319
I was wondering when I was gonna do it.
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:05.599
Same thing with the railings.
00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:08.400
It's not like I was like gonna leave them dirty forever.
00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:11.680
And it wasn't like I was waiting for someone else to take care of it.
00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:14.640
I mean, that's even the maybe that was the worst of it.
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:21.039
It's like I didn't well, I spent a lot of time not noticing these things again because of my blind spots.
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:26.240
And just having other people take care of them or paying for people to take care of them.
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:30.880
And that's becoming increasingly unnecessary because my children grow and there's less to do.
00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:37.839
And that was an easy way out for a while, or maybe even necessary, because that's not where I wanted to focus my energy.
00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:49.359
But I don't know, I just feel like a lot of that avoidance, and I didn't do these things out of fear.
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:52.319
Because I didn't wasn't a good cleaner.
00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:56.240
Like I knew I was good at talking people off the ledge.
00:25:56.319 --> 00:26:00.720
I mean, it's like, but it's because these things were so blown up.
00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:03.440
They were so blown up.
00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:08.480
And it at the end I was satisfied, but was I satisfied because they were perfectly clean?
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:10.480
No, because they weren't clean in the corners.
00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:13.920
I was satisfied because I wanted to do it and I did it.
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:25.920
And so when we have mindsets that build up these little things that make us the center of everything, but no one's even watching us yet.
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:28.559
You know, if I I don't even know what I'm talking about.
00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:34.559
It's like really, and I was starting thinking like people post on my kids post on social media every single day.
00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:36.160
Twice a day, three times a day.
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:37.279
I don't even know.
00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:41.119
And I'm making this such a big deal.
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:48.880
It reminds me of the dishes, and but that's a mindset, it's generalized to a lot of places, it's like really hysteria, it's hysterical.
00:26:49.599 --> 00:27:25.519
So, but we have to again move from a metacognitive space, you know, if we're going to be able to see our own minds, and I think the reason why it's so painful, or why I've read it's so painful, is that once uh you remember, you remember the neurology, you remember the mind, you remember it because you're not seeing it as yours anymore.
00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:40.640
Now, the separation, it just takes a lot of repetition and a lot of paying attention, and we don't pay attention because what I what I said is I needed to have a different experience.
00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:46.799
I needed to have a different experience in order to know.
00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:59.359
I mean, this is the basis of psychotherapy, that if you have a different experience or a different relationship with a therapist who validates your experience, that you're gonna feel better.
00:27:59.599 --> 00:28:12.720
The issue I began to understand about that in particular, that's really as long as um you're able to get validated by your therapist, and that's very much often a choice.
00:28:13.440 --> 00:28:15.039
Um choice of therapists.
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.880
It's very much about match, which is why match is such a big deal in the psychotherapy world.
00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:22.160
You have to have the right psychotherapy with match.
00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:33.119
But you know, therapists aren't always right, and they um, of course, uh are just human.
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:48.880
So that's you know, so anyway, that's supposed to be a reparenting experience, which is supposed to reprogram you, which is supposed to bring you back to your truth, which is supposed to suppose to supposed to help you view, you know, view your mindset.
00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:56.160
I saw a grow therapy commercial, like, you know, pay attention to when you're feeling good.
00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:58.079
Pay attention to when you're feeling good.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:01.440
Like, you know, these things, they're they're all guidance, they're all all I could offer.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:03.920
I said to someone last week, is a change in your perspective.
00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:08.160
I mean, that's what psychotherapy is, and the change in perspective can mean everything.
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:46.319
But when you go to actually do it, you confront the demons, and this is a lot of times why people don't change is because the demons are right on the edge of the wealth and the beauty, because here we are on this line that um the line between the grace and the beauty and the um of what it is you are, followed by the oh my god, this guy is cutting my tree down and he's oh my god.
00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:48.400
I think I have to take a picture of him.
00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:50.160
Okay, you know what?
00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:52.880
These are the types of things where you should pay somebody to do that.
00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:57.279
You should monkey.
00:29:57.519 --> 00:29:58.640
It's like funny.
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:02.400
Money, they're cutting my trees down, not even telling you what you're gonna say.
00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:11.279
Alright, so I have to wrap up for today because I've come all the way around to see my trees getting uh pended to.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:28.319
But the the the take-home message is the more that you pay attention to what's going on inside and outside of you, and not only your mind, you're saying outside and inside to know the difference between what is coming through you from the outside.
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:30.240
That's the best I have to offer you.
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:31.680
Context, context.
00:30:31.839 --> 00:30:42.799
What's in front of you, what's coming from within, watch it, know your symptoms mean something, and just keep doing what you want and seeing how it but there are consequences, that's what we have to know.
00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:45.839
So this isn't about license, let me be clear.
00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:53.839
This is about finding what it is you desire and doing it in spite of what your mind or the old experiences may tell you.
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:57.200
Okay, so I will walk with you again next week.
00:30:57.440 --> 00:30:58.480
Thanks for coming.
00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:00.960
Oh, and check me out at it's at Dr.
00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:01.680
Brook Tara.
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:06.079
I've had another uh Instagram before this, so this is at Dr.
00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:07.599
BrookTara.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:11.599
B-R-B-R-O-O-K-E-T-A-R-A.
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:14.640
And I'll be posting there more often.
00:31:14.880 --> 00:31:16.000
Okay, thanks everyone.
00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:16.880
Have a good week.
00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:17.599
Bye.
00:00:02.319 --> 00:00:02.879
Hello.
00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:05.040
Good morning.
00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:09.279
Welcome to Embody Wisdom, Walk and the Talk with Dr.
00:00:09.519 --> 00:00:10.160
Brooke.
00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:13.199
Live from my neighborhood.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:21.519
Um starting to feel like fall, my favorite season.
00:00:21.839 --> 00:00:26.800
I haven't done my walk and talks in the fall, so be hearing a lot.
00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:30.160
My favorite part is like leaves crunching.
00:00:31.359 --> 00:00:33.039
But not quite there yet.
00:00:34.719 --> 00:00:38.560
But it always comes, isn't that wonderful?
00:00:39.039 --> 00:00:41.679
Well, at least for now the seasons, they always change.
00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:43.520
Everything's always changing.
00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:55.600
So if you're unhappy with something, then um you can change it.
00:00:55.679 --> 00:00:56.000
Yeah.
00:00:56.079 --> 00:00:58.799
That's another there's a season for all things.
00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:01.200
Season for all things.
00:01:01.600 --> 00:01:03.280
Under having ecclesiastes.
00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:08.159
You don't think of that from a religious standpoint.
00:01:08.959 --> 00:01:12.719
I always think about that around this time of year.
00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:21.519
Because it's Jewish holidays and for me that I don't know.
00:01:21.920 --> 00:01:35.120
And the beginning of the school year, and although I don't really participate that in like that in the same way I used to, which is just stoltifying really.
00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:37.920
I can't still can't get over it.
00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:56.799
I never thought I'd be one of those people that watches the kindergartners walk to school and feel nostalgic for another time because I think the thing that maybe has to do with point of focus.
00:01:56.879 --> 00:01:58.159
Like, because when it's over, it's over.
00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:00.239
When something changes, it's over.
00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:01.359
It's done.
00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:04.319
When it really changes, not when it adapts.
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:10.159
I think there's a big thing between, I've talked about this before, adaptation and change.
00:02:10.879 --> 00:02:16.080
When you adapt to something, it's sort of like it looks different.
00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:19.039
It looks different, but you feel the same inside.
00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:20.080
I don't know, you know what I mean?
00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:30.400
It's not the same as when something fundamentally changes, and something can fundamentally change outside of you, or it can change inside of you.
00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:37.360
You know, I just think this thing about like, you know, really changing.
00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:40.240
I've been thinking a lot about this, really changing.
00:02:40.479 --> 00:02:48.319
Because real change involves a big change in our mindsets.
00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:56.479
And the thing about our mindsets is that they've been fixed for a long time.
00:02:57.199 --> 00:03:06.319
Because, you know, we're brought up in a place and it programs our mindset, and the atmosphere we grow up in programs our neurology.
00:03:09.439 --> 00:03:42.159
And because of that, it's very um like uh convoluted regarding how we end up undoing that let's say how we end up undoing the that that that started long before we even had conceptualization of what was starting.
00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:53.439
So the reason why it's so hard, in my opinion, to change is because what we're changing, we're blind to, um, if it's a mindset.
00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:54.560
Often.
00:03:55.120 --> 00:04:00.560
You know, sometimes it's obvious, um, but my experience is often it's not.
00:04:00.800 --> 00:04:16.800
So we have a lot to say, we have symptoms, and we have sadness, and we have like very serious amounts of worry, um, high symptoms and intense symptoms of anxiety.
00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:23.519
Um, people come to see me and they make an assumption that that symptom is not really coming from an origin.
00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:30.800
But I um, but I don't, I I think it is.
00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:35.759
Um, the thing is that's not easy to change.
00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:50.000
And so these symptoms can be sometimes they're called intractable, sometimes they're called treatment resistant, because people don't really know what it is that's bothering them, and it's a blind spot.
00:04:50.240 --> 00:05:06.480
So when we're really gonna change, and we want to change something because something's causing us pain in our hearts, but we don't know what that is because we've repressed it, we've regressed it, we've erased it.
00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:08.240
I mean, our unconscious mind does this.
00:05:08.319 --> 00:05:09.279
Now, this is the thing, right?
00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:15.439
Our unconscious mind erases things that are too traumatic for us to comprehend.
00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:18.079
Erase is probably a strong word.
00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:22.240
It's probably more like you delete it on the computer, but it's already always there, you know.
00:05:22.399 --> 00:05:23.519
Someone can always find it.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:24.800
Like once it's there, it's there.
00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:27.839
That's what these type of imprints are like.
00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:45.600
So you have to have the confidence within you to understand that you're not dis-eased or uncomfortable or upset for no reason, there's something upsetting you, but that could be actually a mindset.
00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:48.079
So you see what I'm saying?
00:05:48.160 --> 00:06:10.399
If it's a mindset that's upsetting you, if you're constantly telling yourself, so if I could give you an example, um if I see if I really look at my house and I see a mess, and I'm saying really look, because let's say this is where there could be a blind spot.
00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:13.680
Usually locked if it's open today.
00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:15.199
Taking a picture of that.
00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:18.000
It's usually locked, but it's open today.
00:06:19.279 --> 00:06:20.240
See what that means.
00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:33.040
Um and the thing is, is things being messier or dirty growing up, it was like a federal offense.
00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:35.199
It was like, it was like the worst.
00:06:35.279 --> 00:06:38.160
There were so many things that were the smallest things ever.
00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:41.600
That was the worst thing that could ever happen in my house.
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:55.600
And and the signs that were of disrespect rather than I don't know, you didn't, you, you know, your mindset doesn't focus the outside like mine, it more focuses on the inside to them just a mess.
00:06:55.680 --> 00:07:00.639
And because I'm a mess, I'm disgusting and because I'm never gonna have love.
00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:07.839
You know, it's like it becomes like this entire thing, and I'm disrespectful and I don't appreciate.
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:16.720
I mean, it was unbelievable how much angst a dish in a s in the sink could cause.
00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:18.639
But this wasn't the only angst.
00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:20.399
It was everything was like that.
00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:23.519
It was like a nitpicking machine factory.
00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:27.120
Um, and it was intergenerationally like that.
00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:34.399
In fact, my great grandm my grandmother, my great, you know, my kid when they became a great-grandmother, my kids didn't want like her.
00:07:34.720 --> 00:07:41.040
You know, not because she was old and sometimes the way kids don't like the way older people feel to them, or whatever.
00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:49.839
No, it was because she wouldn't stop wiping their noses, like like compulsively, because you know, when they're little and they go to preschool and their noses are wrong, wouldn't stop it.
00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:58.319
And so they she became aversive to them because of that, and I she became aversive to me because of that.
00:07:58.560 --> 00:08:06.560
Um, I would argue that she even died because of that, because she wouldn't stop cleaning, she wouldn't stop standing up when she shouldn't, she kept paying your head.
00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:27.360
You know, so I sometimes I'll say like people in my family they die of compulsivity or they die of what they don't know because it tends to be an autoimmune issue that runs through my family, and it is all because of the deep emotions from behaving in ways that we do not agree with, except we don't know that.
00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:39.759
I mean, what is like the phenomenon here in the human condition that we purposely can't deal with, the things we can't deal with, so we purposefully, on some level, unconsciously forget them.
00:08:40.720 --> 00:09:43.919
And when we want to change them, we have such a deep resistance to changing them, and the reason why we have such a deep, you know, resistance to changing them is because uh we forgot what was bothering us, and that becomes resistance, it's not even purposeful, it feels like we're trying to do it sometimes, try and it's like not fair because there's a lot of things people have been trying to tell me a long time about my mental state, and I didn't understand what they meant, and the reason I didn't have an understand what they meant is really because I had no alternative, I hadn't had another experience, but let's say the nitpicking, so that I'm nitpicking myself, and I don't know I'm doing it, it's running, but wow, that makes you feel really bad.
00:09:44.320 --> 00:09:45.679
Makes you feel really bad.
00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:51.600
So yesterday was teeming rain here in this country.
00:09:51.679 --> 00:09:57.679
Now all of a sudden you're around we're around here yesterday, you got like imminent death threat things on your phone.
00:09:57.759 --> 00:10:06.720
I mean, I don't even know, like, but weather's weird these days, so but they're basically like don't leave your house because the flooding.
00:10:06.879 --> 00:10:13.279
I was like, that's not usual around here, but also maybe who knows the predictive variables are better, or maybe they're just freaking us out.
00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:15.519
I don't know, doesn't really matter.
00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:32.240
But anyway, the railings of my deck, the dirt on them, has been, I don't know, bothering me forever for this whole summer.
00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:39.919
And I decided yesterday, I mean it's the fall, uh, we're gonna have limited time only sitting on that deck.
00:10:40.159 --> 00:10:47.360
My kids are not home, they're not gonna be sitting, but all summer I realized something like you're disgusting.
00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:48.960
You're disgusting.
00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:55.360
You let these railings get this dirty, you don't take care of them, you're disgusting.
00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:57.120
This is telling myself.
00:10:57.440 --> 00:10:59.840
Except then, this is even better.
00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.759
When I would go to think about cleaning them, you're like, you don't know how to clean any.
00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:06.960
You're not good at cleaning.
00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:10.559
You can't do it.
00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:13.200
You don't know how to do it.
00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:20.720
And but it's pouring rain, so I'm like thinking, let me just try to do this my way.
00:11:22.080 --> 00:11:23.679
I didn't look up how to do it.
00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:28.480
I don't like how much rocket science here goes to the beginning of the session.
00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:38.399
How much rocket science could possibly go into what you know, and these are designed, they're not like wood, you know.
00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:42.480
I'm not trying to do something impossible, they're like designed to stay clean.
00:11:42.960 --> 00:11:48.000
You know, they're newer, they're not like all natural, that nothing like that.
00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:58.000
So I find a scrub brush, and my husband's like, wait, let's d-da-da.
00:11:58.159 --> 00:11:59.279
I'm like, no, no.
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:01.840
No, I'm just doing it right now.
00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:06.399
And let me think the other thing about dish soap.
00:12:06.799 --> 00:12:12.879
Dish show and a ball and a and a bowl and teeming rain and a scrub brush.
00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:17.440
Because I could see some of the dirt was already coming off because the rain was so hard.
00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:24.159
And for an hour, I scrubbed it all down, scrubbed it all down.
00:12:25.519 --> 00:12:30.159
And but the thing is I was a psycho about it.
00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:34.960
I mean, it's like it's like I'm a psycho about dirt.
00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:43.919
And when I really came to like really came in touch with that feeling, I got really upset.
00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:45.840
Like not a little upset.
00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:47.200
Like this isn't fair.
00:12:47.360 --> 00:12:54.720
Not like like upset, like like you can hear in my voice today, like not like upset, like because I believed it was true.
00:12:55.200 --> 00:12:58.480
It was upset because I like believed it wasn't true.
00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:00.879
I mean, and then I went into, I mean, it was like a little psycho.
00:13:00.960 --> 00:13:04.240
Like, then I went into like, should I get the hose?
00:13:04.480 --> 00:13:05.120
Wash it down.
00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:09.759
You know, I don't think that the rain's gonna really, I really think I have to wipe this dirt away.
00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:12.720
And then I thought, wipe this dirt away.
00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:16.320
Hmm, maybe I should go get a towel.
00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:26.000
So I got a towel, I wiped the dirt away, and they were clean.
00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:29.519
Except the corners were not.
00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:36.159
And I could hear that the corners are not done.
00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:38.159
You leave everything left undone.
00:13:38.320 --> 00:13:41.519
I mean, it's really upsetting, but it was real.
00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:44.799
That was a memory of actual experience.
00:13:46.559 --> 00:14:03.120
And let's say it's the ancestry, because there's all these ideas of how we carry the ancestry with us, going, and and I'm thinking, like, how how am I gonna get anything done?
00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:10.480
Even let's say, because there's ideas about the ancestry I'm taking this pretty intense or very intense course.
00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:17.039
And and it's sort of like there's like a group of the ancestry that's kind of like, yeah, they like actually believe that.
00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:27.840
Like you're setting them free, because this whole idea about like the about why ancestors want you to have children, is because they need embodied beings, embodied wisdom, right?
00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:41.200
They need embodied beings to keep the generations going, to have human existence, for them to have a legacy, you know, and so they're gonna promote that.
00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:51.200
Um they're gonna promote the embodiment like of new individuals, and then they want their values carried on.
00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:57.759
And I don't know, maybe people, I you know, this is not, this is like, you know, you think about the stories people tell.
00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:02.159
I just watched a great movie, by the way, recommended.
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:05.519
Uh it was called The Death of Robin Hood.
00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:18.320
It's a very intense movie, but it shows up how like, you know, how we inherit all of these ideas about things and about people and about who came before us.
00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:33.919
But how much how many of those stories are actually true or contrived based in trying to protect the next generation or oh by the way, here's some beginning of fall.
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:40.159
Yeah.
00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:57.120
Okay, so now I'm gonna I'm gonna jump over today because I would consider the way my mind works like that, a blind spot.
00:15:57.840 --> 00:16:13.840
Like the self-annihilation, because I don't didn't know, maybe you know, or I don't know, and sometimes I know it's when that's a tape running, or if that's something I actually really feel.
00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:30.559
So I actually really, really, really three months ago wanted to watch the f wanted to watch the um the uh railings.
00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:40.480
And I didn't because this tape was running about what a bad cleaner, how I don't know what I'm doing, that I should check with my husband.
00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:42.559
I mean, it was just going on and on and on.
00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:58.320
Well, for a long time, this is this was my intro to this this podcast, I have been encouraged to have a social media presence, you know, with my branding, especially with this leg of my business.
00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:02.000
And I can't tell you the number of times I try to do it.
00:17:02.320 --> 00:17:04.960
I try to do it a lot, a lot of times.
00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:09.680
And I start, they start it, and then and I make it, and here it is.
00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:13.279
It's like first of all, I make it into the biggest deal ever.
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:18.400
Just like the federal cases that were made out of cleaning, going anywhere.
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:21.759
I mean, it was like everything was the biggest deal ever.
00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:23.200
So here it is.
00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:29.039
This is the biggest deal ever, and it's the biggest deal ever.
00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:37.519
And I'm the most important person ever, and everyone's critique, I'm the center of everything, and everyone's critiquing my whatever, you know, whatever.
00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:37.920
Okay.
00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:49.759
Now, this is interesting because if you're of my generation and people multiple generations listen to this, you know, you get it because you didn't have social media your whole life.
00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:52.640
It's not something you're indoctrinated into.
00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:59.920
And so you can meet it with, I'm going to say, a more objective eye.
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:11.440
What I mean by that objective eye is because I could sort of know, well, I don't like social media, and these are the reasons why, opposed to had I started within social media and that think I should like it.
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:42.799
There's been a million opinions about social media while I've been on this planet, and not all of them are good, and not all of them are bad, and there's been a lot of reviews over the years, and I've tried this on and off over the years, and I think because I've come to terms with this nitpicky thing, it has maybe or hopefully helped with my paralysis around this because the same process that happened with the rattlings happens when I go to post something.
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:46.160
Who do you think you are?
00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:49.599
You know, you didn't like this, this is stupid.
00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:56.000
Um maybe what you're saying is wrong, maybe no one wants to really hear what you're saying.
00:18:56.160 --> 00:19:04.640
And like the thing is, if I didn't want to keep, if I didn't want to do this, here comes the interesting thing about desire.
00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:07.599
Then I wouldn't want to do it.
00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:12.720
I I mean, I'm just saying, I just wouldn't do it.
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:14.640
You don't have to do social media.
00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:19.920
Like, I don't do social media in my private life, but I do feel compelled to do it in my professional life.
00:19:20.079 --> 00:19:20.960
And why is that?
00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:22.160
I don't know.
00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:25.839
I don't know, and it's encouraged, people have encouraged it.
00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:30.319
Patients have asked me to do it, people want to hear more about what I have to say.
00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:44.079
I've been studying things my whole life for this purpose, and I was able to get started and be consistent with the podcast, and now I'm gonna try to do that, or I'm going to do that.
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:53.359
But I have to confront this, and here is what I wanted to get at a little earlier, which came around a little later, is that it hurts.
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:57.519
It hurts in a way that's very unexpected.
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:14.720
Because when I see this in my mind's eye, it's not the end of the phone.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:20.079
I still gotta take out that microphone.
00:20:20.319 --> 00:20:37.599
I'm still planning on doing that, so sorry if you're getting some interruption, but um so the painful part is like is in expressing myself anyway.
00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:48.640
Okay, it's in expressing myself anyway, it's in cleaning the railings, even if I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:56.079
And it's in step by step on social on Instagram because I don't know what I'm doing.
00:20:56.640 --> 00:21:01.039
And other people will be like, they might even say, like, oh, I love this.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:02.799
Super simple.
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.880
They think it's deliberate, you know, it's all that stuff, it's vintage, you know.
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:12.400
Like, no, actually, it's fear, not fear, it's it's I have no idea what I'm doing, actually.
00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:20.720
But in that it's genuine, it is a hundred percent genuine, and it's coming from a hundred percent genuine place.
00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:37.279
So, but let me tell you, it was I had to sit and commit to it, and I thought, I thought that these were hobby bushes.
00:21:39.039 --> 00:21:41.039
We have a lot of pictures today.
00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:43.759
A lot of pictures.
00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:46.240
I'm gonna see if I can put more than one picture up.
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:57.519
So, sorry about that little break there.
00:21:57.680 --> 00:21:59.839
So, um not that you're not used to it.
00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:13.519
So anyway, I guess um, you know, seeing for me this podcast, it's such a I just come, I talk, it's imperfect.
00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:15.440
I show up, it's imperfect.
00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:24.640
You know, I come from this, you know, very cutthroat academic world where this is not, you don't just like show up and talk about something and it just be okay.
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:32.079
You know, you gotta prepare for a hundred years to make sure it's all organized, it's all quoted, it's all proven.
00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:42.640
And, you know, I think a lot of times this is what we're trying to do, we're trying to prove those things wrong from our allly life.
00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:51.680
And then all this, instead of becoming like some fun endeavor, we're doing to see how we're received, see what we want to put out there, feel ourselves out.
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:57.599
We're so restricted, and I see people suffer with this so much, it can make you feel so unwell.
00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:03.839
How restricted you are because you're waiting for something to change.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:18.400
And when I tell you, could talk about this until you're blue in the face, but until you are ready to do it, and that readiness comes at different times, and you could put your foot in and take it out and put your foot, take it out.
00:23:18.559 --> 00:23:26.480
But the pressure sometimes, and that's the pressure in the mind, it's a mindset, it's a windy part of the space today.
00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:29.440
Hope it's coming through.
00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:39.680
Um, that's important you stay close to context because that's what I was like thinking.
00:23:39.759 --> 00:23:48.480
Oh, this will motivate me to change up the um to the microphone because I want to make sure you can hear me.
00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:55.200
But you see, that comes, that's not from the picky land, that's not from you're crazy, that's not no, that's from like right in front of me.
00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:58.880
Right in front of me.
00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:06.559
And right in front of me is people telling me that the podcast helps them.
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:08.160
That's what happens right in front of me.
00:24:08.319 --> 00:24:15.279
Not that everyone relates to everyone, nor should they, nor do I relate to everything I listen to, but I don't expect that.
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:19.759
But I'm born to do it, so I'm doing it.
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:21.039
I want to do it, so I'm doing it.
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:23.599
I'm compelled to do it, so I'm doing it.
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:38.240
But the overcomplication piece that comes from that original fused template is going, you gotta prove you're not what they said you were.
00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:41.599
And so, how are you gonna do anything?
00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:44.160
Because you're believing you're that, so you won't do it.
00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:46.720
That's how mindset get our way in our way.
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:51.519
But I'm describing this for I wonder how long I could not see this.
00:24:54.799 --> 00:24:56.319
You're an enemy to yourself.
00:24:56.480 --> 00:25:00.720
Like how I couldn't see that I just wasn't doing it.
00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:02.640
I was preparing to do it.
00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:04.319
I was wondering when I was gonna do it.
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:05.599
Same thing with the railings.
00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:08.400
It's not like I was like gonna leave them dirty forever.
00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:11.680
And it wasn't like I was waiting for someone else to take care of it.
00:25:11.839 --> 00:25:14.640
I mean, that's even the maybe that was the worst of it.
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:21.039
It's like I didn't well, I spent a lot of time not noticing these things again because of my blind spots.
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:26.240
And just having other people take care of them or paying for people to take care of them.
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:30.880
And that's becoming increasingly unnecessary because my children grow and there's less to do.
00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:37.839
And that was an easy way out for a while, or maybe even necessary, because that's not where I wanted to focus my energy.
00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:49.359
But I don't know, I just feel like a lot of that avoidance, and I didn't do these things out of fear.
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:52.319
Because I didn't wasn't a good cleaner.
00:25:53.680 --> 00:25:56.240
Like I knew I was good at talking people off the ledge.
00:25:56.319 --> 00:26:00.720
I mean, it's like, but it's because these things were so blown up.
00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:03.440
They were so blown up.
00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:08.480
And it at the end I was satisfied, but was I satisfied because they were perfectly clean?
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:10.480
No, because they weren't clean in the corners.
00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:13.920
I was satisfied because I wanted to do it and I did it.
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:25.920
And so when we have mindsets that build up these little things that make us the center of everything, but no one's even watching us yet.
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:28.559
You know, if I I don't even know what I'm talking about.
00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:34.559
It's like really, and I was starting thinking like people post on my kids post on social media every single day.
00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:36.160
Twice a day, three times a day.
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:37.279
I don't even know.
00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:41.119
And I'm making this such a big deal.
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:48.880
It reminds me of the dishes, and but that's a mindset, it's generalized to a lot of places, it's like really hysteria, it's hysterical.
00:26:49.599 --> 00:27:25.519
So, but we have to again move from a metacognitive space, you know, if we're going to be able to see our own minds, and I think the reason why it's so painful, or why I've read it's so painful, is that once uh you remember, you remember the neurology, you remember the mind, you remember it because you're not seeing it as yours anymore.
00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:40.640
Now, the separation, it just takes a lot of repetition and a lot of paying attention, and we don't pay attention because what I what I said is I needed to have a different experience.
00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:46.799
I needed to have a different experience in order to know.
00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:59.359
I mean, this is the basis of psychotherapy, that if you have a different experience or a different relationship with a therapist who validates your experience, that you're gonna feel better.
00:27:59.599 --> 00:28:12.720
The issue I began to understand about that in particular, that's really as long as um you're able to get validated by your therapist, and that's very much often a choice.
00:28:13.440 --> 00:28:15.039
Um choice of therapists.
00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.880
It's very much about match, which is why match is such a big deal in the psychotherapy world.
00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:22.160
You have to have the right psychotherapy with match.
00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:33.119
But you know, therapists aren't always right, and they um, of course, uh are just human.
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:48.880
So that's you know, so anyway, that's supposed to be a reparenting experience, which is supposed to reprogram you, which is supposed to bring you back to your truth, which is supposed to suppose to supposed to help you view, you know, view your mindset.
00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:56.160
I saw a grow therapy commercial, like, you know, pay attention to when you're feeling good.
00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:58.079
Pay attention to when you're feeling good.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:01.440
Like, you know, these things, they're they're all guidance, they're all all I could offer.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:03.920
I said to someone last week, is a change in your perspective.
00:29:04.079 --> 00:29:08.160
I mean, that's what psychotherapy is, and the change in perspective can mean everything.
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:46.319
But when you go to actually do it, you confront the demons, and this is a lot of times why people don't change is because the demons are right on the edge of the wealth and the beauty, because here we are on this line that um the line between the grace and the beauty and the um of what it is you are, followed by the oh my god, this guy is cutting my tree down and he's oh my god.
00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:48.400
I think I have to take a picture of him.
00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:50.160
Okay, you know what?
00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:52.880
These are the types of things where you should pay somebody to do that.
00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:57.279
You should monkey.
00:29:57.519 --> 00:29:58.640
It's like funny.
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:02.400
Money, they're cutting my trees down, not even telling you what you're gonna say.
00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:11.279
Alright, so I have to wrap up for today because I've come all the way around to see my trees getting uh pended to.
00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:28.319
But the the the take-home message is the more that you pay attention to what's going on inside and outside of you, and not only your mind, you're saying outside and inside to know the difference between what is coming through you from the outside.
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:30.240
That's the best I have to offer you.
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:31.680
Context, context.
00:30:31.839 --> 00:30:42.799
What's in front of you, what's coming from within, watch it, know your symptoms mean something, and just keep doing what you want and seeing how it but there are consequences, that's what we have to know.
00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:45.839
So this isn't about license, let me be clear.
00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:53.839
This is about finding what it is you desire and doing it in spite of what your mind or the old experiences may tell you.
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:57.200
Okay, so I will walk with you again next week.
00:30:57.440 --> 00:30:58.480
Thanks for coming.
00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:00.960
Oh, and check me out at it's at Dr.
00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:01.680
Brook Tara.
00:31:01.839 --> 00:31:06.079
I've had another uh Instagram before this, so this is at Dr.
00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:07.599
BrookTara.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:11.599
B-R-B-R-O-O-K-E-T-A-R-A.
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:14.640
And I'll be posting there more often.
00:31:14.880 --> 00:31:16.000
Okay, thanks everyone.
00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:16.880
Have a good week.
00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:17.599
Bye.
