SELLEST OSAST
Gone are the days of the Guru
Stephanie and Angel reminisce about their impacts on each other as they traversed their darkness into the light. Love, respect and gratitude are core teachings they embody and shared with each other along their way, when spirit brought them into physical space for the first Gathering of the Shamans event in Arizona and the pyramids of Teotihuacan, later that year in 2015.
Allow Stephanie's magic to permeate your being with 2 songs she shares with us.
This is the first time she has shared her medicine in this way and we are honored, once again, to witness and hold space for another guided transformational moment from spirit. It was an honor and pleasure to share space, once again with this magical human.
Stay tuned for a follow up episode after her and Seth's experience in writing this new book Shaman Heart, Sacred Rebel, on the sacred grounds of Teotihuacan pyramids in Mexico.
I am so excited to witness the magic these powerhouse humans will create together! One Love, our hearts to yours.Are you still seeking out that one guru to follow?
Our programming starts with our parents, and how do we unlearn this deeply ingrained patterning of attachment?
The world has transitioned astrologically as the Andeans talk about this new era, the new pachakuti, the divine feminine is rising. We can step into and choose a community of light that collaborates, instead of giving our power away to one single being of light.
Evolved Leadership "If your intention is to make money off community, you are going to struggle. If you set out to create expansion and growth for others, the abundance is going to flow and you will never be without." - Jim Fortin
Choose your communities wisely, your teachers wisely and know that one person can not give you all that you need in any relationship. It's okay to thank them for their medicine and move on.
Gone are the days of subjugation and giving your power away to other humans, including teachers.
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[Episode Transcription Notes]
oh my goodness do we have some excitement today I've got my lovely Soul Sister here with us today Stephanie urbina Jones welcome welcome I'm so excited to be here yes so we're going to spend some time reminiscing and catching everybody up on our journey and how our Dream Weavers have have come together so in previous episodes you've heard about um me traveling to the Gathering of the shamans and in my love Warriors book part of my first chapter is about getting there and the traumas and tribulations that I had to go through to actually get to that event that event is actually where I met Stephanie so let's hear your side well you know it was really just kind of a magical thing we got an invitation the Gathering of shamans was just beginning and we got the call to come and be there and to support in any any way that we could and being a a a soul singer and caring medicine songs from around the medicine wheel and in sweat lodges and vision quests and all kinds of ceremonies I found myself that one night that one magical night out under the stars walking around a lake and somehow someway started singing a song and ran into you yeah I'm definitely magic happened yeah it was in losing first time that
time um that was the first time I've ever firewalked so we have this huge amazing ceremony together which you helped facilitate and then we yeah we walked over to that Lake and I don't know how it happened but I ended up standing beside you and this great big healing like we had what 200 people surrounding this little Lake sending and doing a ceremony sending love and energy into the world and everybody left and we just stood there and you started playing and I played this song and you know it's funny I me Miguel has been my teacher I was a dreamer I read his books and I was studying under as an apprentice under his apprentice and then was invited because of my music to come and to present along with my teacher Miguel which was amazing but I have to say of all the moments of the Gathering of shamans it was this holy moment with you and the people I felt like we were dancing with creation you know all of our ancestors were coming and we were we were singing our prayers into the night and really connecting you know and I believe a lifetime Sisterhood was born in that moment with you and so this is that song Let me see if I can open it no I don't know who I don't know who wrote this song all I know is that it's one of my all-time favorites and uh because as we all know We're Dreaming all the time
[Music] we are spiraling into the center of the wheel I am the Weaver I am the woven one I am the dream I am the dream I am the Weaver I am the woven one I am the dreamer I am the dream spiraling into the center the center of the wheel we are spiraling into the center the center of the wheel I am the Weaver I am the woven one I am the dreamer I am the dream I am the Weaver I am the woven one I am the dreamer I am the dream I hope [Laughter] oh it takes me right back it takes me right back it's hard to not blow my face off every time I hear you sing well and I have to share with everyone a bite of light that you gave me that night was that you know I was just beginning to step in as a as a teacher as a leader in this world I had had a career in another Arena as a country singer but that night and the connection that we made you gave me my first medicine tool that night at the Gathering of shamans that you had made this beautiful beautiful fan that I have used in hundreds of Ceremonies now it has touched so many people so thank you for being a part of my life and singing to my soul
it's so beautiful and I there's magic when people can meet each other on that vibration and go into that space of just pure unconditional love right and for me too that night around the lake yes the fire walk was amazing um you know it doesn't mind expanding experience but by singing around that Lake it people need to understand that where we were we're out in the middle of the desert in Arizona there it's Pitch Black and we're in this tiny little area around this beautiful lake with this huge willow tree and you have your drum over top of my heart and I just poop I was out out of my body I felt like I was you know you just Scruff a cat from behind and I literally was hanging over the lake and then it just went over the or and then I was just in the cosmos like you just shot me right up into the stars and I have never you're not going to believe this OneDrive just showed me a picture of you and me sitting in the Teo what surreals well the notifications aren't turned up on the computer we just found out but also it just popped a picture of the two of you in front of the Pyramid of the Sun and tail I cannot make this [ __ ] up not we are not alone wow
um anyways yeah that was the very first time that I've experienced that right and so I I was just blown wide open and when I got home from that experience also too this is the very first time ever that I have traveled alone since the experience that I talk about in The Love Warriors book so the whole weekend was huge and amazing and expanding for me but when I got home I didn't know how to process it because it was so something that you know we talk about in the brain elasticity about what you can comprehend and what you can't and sometimes when you do these big long Journeys sometimes it takes years for the medicine to sink in because your brain has to catch up to it to what you've experienced and um one of the teachers that I had previously was a Lakota Elder that I did a lot of sweat lodges with um and so I actually reached out to her a couple weeks later and said I I can't function
and she said one sentence to me she's like well have you called your spirit back to your body and I was like that's a thing you're supposed to do that like I had no idea like I was a baby a brand newbie like I had no idea and so when she said that because I was describing her the fire and and how the coals danced you know when we were doing the fire walk and and then told her about the lake and and she's like you've left part of your soul there you need to recover that um and so yeah I went into meditation that night and you know did the recapitulation and called some of my soul fragments back and boom the next day I was at I was back to my normal self so
it went to that extreme
and then I was hooked and then I'm like okay there's medicine here there's stuff here and that that was my commitment to the Toltec path times the searching and the very last day we were there when I gifted you this band because I did see that that was one of my gifts in coaching gymnastics for 30 years I could find the you know I could find the unicorns that was one of my gift and you know you were the first unicorn I found in this community right and I didn't know who you were right you just had this beautiful voice that I had to follow period so thank you I actually feel like that was my initiation into Shamanism that weekend
I love that you're sharing that you know our publisher because you're you're both our lead authors of the upcoming book and you're writing on books and our publisher Laura DiFranco always says you know um who who are those people along the way that we're writing that love letter to that kind of pulls us up out of our our purpose-driven fear as she'll say because I've tried to run from this path you have so much you know and you know that is for me you gifting me that fan was kind of like a stand down moment you know and it's it's it's lived with me forever when when you saw something in me and I was actually already living it I was doing it but I wasn't committed to it you know I wasn't taking responsibility of it and um I think that really was the beginning and you know soon after my pathway just like uh through my pain through a heartbreaking harrowing experiences uh just broke my heart and my life open and I had I had a choice of course I could have gone another way but my choice was to move forward and to be oh it is it's like what it forged by the fire forwards by the fire I think I need to name my next chapter of that there you go that's awesome
man I was doing this work for years I was in it well you do ceremonies and you go to this event you go to that event but it's those little moments where when you're not in your mind about a thing is when those good crack opens happen you know for me I was you know I was in Teo and we I'm on the ceremony process through through the grounds of Teo and it was sitting in in circle with the the Aztec dancers that it just I don't know what happened but their what they were doing hit me on a level that just cracked me open and it's like we weren't there to to do the work group there to just enjoy it they just brought him in it's like hey coming through this cool thing that's what cracked me over just like you know for for Angel like that is that moment around the lake the ceremony was all over it was just her and I yeah that was the moment when like that's the magic happens in those little moments all the work is really just to prepare us to accept it when it happens so so many people get frustrated like I've been doing this work and I still don't feel free I don't feel that unconditional love it's like just just keep taking those steps magic is gonna happen the least expect it but you have to be committed to the process it's so true I love that I love that you've sharing that story um about you know the Aztec Dancers I too you know um Angel asked and the preface to the Gathering of shamans the preface to me becoming a Toltec shamama and teacher was two going to the um my life was a mess I was in the middle of a divorce and I reluctantly but um surrendered to I had to do something gasping for air went with Lee McCormick who y'all traveled with to Teo and just you know fell apart disassembled all the way down the Avenue of the dead and was just what I needed for my powerful powerful mind that had protected me all my life with all of my ways control all the things that I had created you know come by honestly to keep safe or just you know they were no match for Teo and those sacred energies there and it was on the top of the Pyramid of the Sun that I was given that Clear Vision like of what was mine to do with my life and then I ran from it you know and always and but over time you can't that's the cool thing I love about all the work that we do is that you do we do is that the mind will forget or it will you know put things in a closet and won't remember but the body remembers everything when you put it in these situations whatever is ready to come up here we go that's right Mr
it's for the brave apart absolutely yeah well and it was very cool for me um so at the end of that Retreat you had told me about that you were going and taking a group to tail um and I had a full guess again I've never never been there you know having the shamans was my first experience and I was all in because I knew that we could meet each other in that space and that's rare to be able to go that deep with somebody so quickly and hold that energy so yeah I was a full yes and you watch and witness and to be able to hold because you had another huge level up that trip as well and that's what I think people need to understand too just because we're facilitating does not mean that that we're not learning as well there is this reciprocal thing that this dance that happened right and part of that learning for me was make sure that you're working with teachers who understand gratitude and respect both ways absolutely right and and so I knew going with you that that was going to happen and we had some magic that happened there as well we was so so so powerful and I I really appreciate you saying that because I think it's more important than ever to be I'm a leader I'm a teacher I'm a student right here in this moment with you and every day I really appreciate being able to hold that mutuality of respect and in any given moment I am being you know LED from my heart to share medicine words energy thoughts and at the same time be open and aware of everybody's wisdom and medicine that they have to share and that to me is what makes it really juicy right this whole that's where the magic thing it's like you know that doesn't it doesn't speak to me you know right right yeah we're getting from here is where it's at you know and that was one of the things I loved about Teo and I didn't have any other experience so I came in with fresh eyes going wow this is amazing and you know I don't know the rules I like I'm a newbie and and you were just so open and you guys facilitated some incredible experiences again that I will never forget and it came through your voice you have this unique you know we all have we all we all have our own unique ray of light yours is so sparkly and like I said it makes me cry every time you sing and in one of our ceremonies you guys did a sound bath and again that was one of the most powerful experiences for me actually to date that the the rain shower thing you know I'm not going to go into it but very powerful and again it was through your voice that really touches me because again it's not something that I've even appreciated I just had it and so I feel like there is a a gift coming from you at this moment for me to hear to honor it to appreciate it um and and frankly to share it even more freely you know um so and I remember that ceremony you know words and touch and being held in these specific ceremonies can help recover sacred for me the fact that I did not have a good relationship or even much of a relationship at all with my mother I had this I've had this desperate longing to be seen to be heard to be held to be wanted and so I've carried that heartbreak and that heartache everywhere and it's been in these ceremonies where I have experienced the love of a mother through other people's you know kindness and compassion and I have integrated that in and now truly do enjoy being you know holding that sacred mother energy in in moments like that so um thank you you have done that for me as well that that's
you did allow me to also share my love with you I can I can remember and one of my also favorite memories is you know at night when we're all chilling out and the bonfire's going and you're walking around with your drums singing singing your heart out and I'm just sitting there bawling listening like it's just so awesome and then you know I I did share that you know I I do medicine with with the drum and peeling the chakras and you said hey let's do it and it was just so organic and flowy and yeah let's do it and you had your own experience in that moment when I wrapped you in the cave I wish shazamed because there you know I hadn't had that much experience you know at that point I mean I've had some but not that I hadn't had that kind of experience and I remember going to Jeremy like oh my God that really worked
it was amazing yeah yeah and just to be able to have sharing space I think even on a deeper level when they allow that kind of and I think this is the air the era that we're moving into the collaboration space where where you know God of the days of the guru that is Untouchable that you can't even talk to or see or whatever that's a good title I hope you write that one oh yeah yeah it's been in a couple of my social media posts lately I'm kind of on a roll with that but yeah gone are the days yeah we're stepping into new space and and finding the people that can dance that out I'll dance with us and show up with love and gratitude and respect for each other do you feel like I think this is so cool because I know that y'all had the I know you've traveled with Lee I know you've traveled with with Jorge and um you know I feel like I got such a huge piece of medicine traveling with Jorge who is this like dude I mean what a king awful a lot and wisdom and so I do feel like Jeremy and I like we are like I I really I've always been a young old Spirit but I'm really inhabiting my younger self since Peru since being with him and he really does carry that energy that we're talking about there's a lot of mutuality and joy you know what we've for me what I've been longing for you know so we get the other thing that happens when you start doing this work is that we have this tendency to take it so seriously I got a serious and I gotta dig down into my [ __ ] and I gotta I gotta walk in the darkness and boot up every last little thing of misery and and sometimes we get stuck there and we even the reason that we're walking through the [ __ ] and facing the darkness is so that we can get it out of the way to really allow that light to shine from us into us so it's it's about increasing the joy and love in your life it's not about getting so deep in your [ __ ] that you can't see the sunlight uh-huh [Music] and that's when you go when you spend time with somebody like Jorge it reminds you it's about Joy it's about light the Andean medicine is about light let the light come in and the light will shine and the Shadows Retreat that's you know that the saying you can't shovel the darkness out but if you Shine the Light it disappears look into that Darkness but don't forget that the purpose is the light and joy the make it more fun to bring more light in in awareness of the darkness just helps you know where to shine that like you I love it I love all these I love all these ways of explaining what we have each of us have experienced and for me I mean I was so grateful that the Toltec dreamers for were so joyful and they spoke of personal freedom and that spoke to me because I had you know suffered for so long I had been trained to suffer that was my program of suffering and so that when I realized that you really could go into stock that origin stock where that came from breathe into it honor it and release it and that when that was released there there was like a pathway for that light and that joy and that purpose to flow and it worked rapidly I'm like that's my way you know yeah so don't get stuck at
and they won't allow the release to happen and when I was going through this process I that's why it's so clear to me because I found myself getting stuck in that that I wouldn't release and so I started calling myself a stockaholic I love it because at some point the addiction to suffering even when you're doing your healing work sometimes it that can become the addiction yeah right and so uh yeah I was calling myself a stockaholic and that I was in recovery so that and then I needed to start stalking joy and not go into the dark so there is a point where you finally have enough is sitting in your own [ __ ] where you have to turn around and look at the light and say okay feel me I have literally cleaned myself to non-existent but the other part is yes do your cleaning but don't forget to fill
[Music]
I remember saying to them so now what cleaned out I don't know who I am I don't know where I am I don't know what to call myself I don't even know what day it is so now what do I do that I've done all the work today what do I want now what what do I do my soul on fire right and stuff part of the process that that I think moving forward my medicine is going to be yes touch it acknowledge it do the work around it there's no bypassing but that also doesn't mean to chain yourself to it and and stay there it's like the trampoline bounce you go down you hit and then you come back up you don't stay down there yeah I mean just as as you're saying that I'm realizing because this is It's you know we were trained our pain was our training from our family systems right God bless them they all did the best they could but that was like the imprint that was the record on replay in my life until I for me hit my bottom enough to go help and then you know we spin we stock we we clear we let go we release and then we have to be take that record that that Needle on the record and put it on a record of love and joy and what we want and as much as we were training the other way we have to train that too right totally makes sense really I love that I love it and you know being able to hold for you while you know you you are cursing Shaman heart and and doing the pictures for the front cover of the album and you know being able to hold and share space it was crazy so for those of y'all who are watching I am a country my passion um has been um I'm Mexican-American and when my grandmother was dying I was a songwriter and she called me to her bedside and I midwifed her between this world and the next and it was my first time to really come in contact that I was aware of of the other side as she you know I really was with her as she her spirit left her body and I felt the Jubilation of Freedom as she exited to her new life um but before she died she put a mission on my heart and she told me that I was to celebrate our culture um and story and in song and that I would travel all over the world and I told her I can't do that I can't I I I'm too fat I'm too it's I'm too old it's too late I was 33. I I I I I I I can't even speak the language I don't look Mexican I wasn't raised in the culture how can I share this there's no way and she just was like you will you know and when it when that happened she was you know so you know embodied in spirit that I knew I felt it and so you know in a way I was so upset when she passed because like I I can't do this but it was also such an Ultimate Surrender and so I began to write songs in the country world because I was raised as a country songwriter artist kept trying to bring my Latin culture to my songs and in this long long story short I was ministering to myself writing songs trying to my soul would give me these songs that I would download that would be like little Cosmic breadcrumbs on the road to my recovery you know that helped me make sense of what was going on inside of me right and give me a pathway for the road and when I would be in very intimate circles like I was in a few you know healing circles as a participant I would share a song here and there and people would always say where can I get that song and I'd be like I I don't have time for that I'm I'm going to be a country star that's what my grandmother meant right and so fast forward um when Angel and I are in teotihuacan on this journey we've met we've had this powerful experience she's given me my fan and we're engaged in life I'm in the kitchen in teotiwakan of the dreaming house and these two red-headed women who were friends of mine came up to me and said Stephanie when are you gonna make this album of all these medicine songs that you sing in private with us and I'm like I'm done I don't have time I do not have money and Judy Redhawk said she said this my Aunt Helen just died she was a music teacher and she left me an inheritance and if I give you twenty five hundred dollars today will you commit to right to singing These to recording these songs
yes so yes okay I will
as fate would have it sue Schweitzer was there who is a photographer you were there with Kaya y'all did all this your mama shazamarama I had bought a three dollar dress in a Mexican Town the week before I think
yeah all good girl girl when we climbed up with that dress shoved in the back of my bag backpack to the top of the Pyramid of the Sun and we were styling and everything and Shaman heart you know to it was literally three weeks later or somewhere between three and five weeks later the the first three songs the EP of that song was delivered a hundred copies on the Red Road to the next Gathering of shamans where I presented that um like a few months later so awesome that's crazy
you can't make that [ __ ] up
to be and now we're here yeah so thank you thank you for being a witness to that you know to that for inviting me yeah well thank you because you knew I mean I really was so reluctant I was like I was afraid to share this part of me yeah and don't forget to thank yourself for showing up for yourself yeah oh that's huge a lot of people skip them thank you thank you a brief part right gratitude to sell if you want to see what we're what we're ready and willing to receive D who's teaching in this moment [Laughter] so good thank you thank you yeah yeah and and we have exciting things uh moving forward Seth is going to be joining you in Teo soon it's gonna be amazing we're so excited about this new book um I was the lead author of and I know y'all are working with Laura DiFranco of Brave healer Productions yes this portal of becoming an author and owning your words and working through because it is a it's a healing Journey every time um and I was a lead author on the my first author's Journey with 25 authors last year Shaman Hart turning pain into passion and purpose and what happened to the authors to each of us when we came together with that purpose to lay our hearts on the Altar and then to write about it was so profound and it just you know I'm still so tight with all of those authors and um so now this next book I'm gonna co-lead this with Jeremy because Jeremy pager he was my teacher he's my husband he's the co-founder of Freedom folk and soul with me and we really met in our sacred Rebels you know we really did we can inhabit that part of ourselves pretty easy and for us a lot that's like our I really when I think about my sacred Rebel it's like my teenage self that was trying to find my freedom I had all this potent energy and I didn't know where to put it I didn't know how to to to be who I was born to be and so I got to have this beautiful long journey to come back to Rescue and to bring myself into my wholeness and into my inner Authority and you know Powerhouse with love and so I am so excited to um to be a part of this cast of authors including and especially you Seth I heard you I felt I felt you when you shared on our Zoom today I was like well hello [Laughter] it's going to be amazing I was like I didn't realize when I when I had that experience that I was that we were talking about I didn't realize how much much of that how much that had moved me until I started sharing it at that moment I'm like oh where's all this energy coming from all of a sudden it was like all right super stoked to go back so well I appreciate you saying that and I just want to say that reminds me of we were talking to Jorge Luis Delgado about Peru which I know you've traveled with him and we are going on a journey to Egypt together [Music] and Jorge says to us he's like when we're When We're Dreaming into it and talking about it he's like enough of the healing we will become the pyramids yay and that's what you did when you were sharing about the thing that you were sharing about about the Pyramid of the sun I felt you carrying the energy of the sun when you were speaking into it so thank you so Jesse and so great well I have loved our catch up I know we could talk forever I know we could be here for hours and hours and hours um maybe you can uh send us off with another one of your songs oh I'd be honored so I'm not 26 but when I was 26 and I was crazy coming for help needing help the great mystery sent down this song to help me give me a cosmic breadcrumb of the road up ahead um this is called chiseling out my soul
once knew a wise old man it's a million was his name he wasn't artist of life it's gold dirt by trade I used to go and visit him maybe once or twice a week drinking every moment I was thirsty for his kind of peace he said let love be a discipline girl carve out of your experience be authentic and be real that's how my peace was revealed by chiseling now my soul like a Michael Angelo [Music] he found spirit in the stone I'm chiseling out my soul foreign
[Music]
to find out who I am and then my age I don't give a damn I'm chiseling up my soul
he found spirit in the stone I'm chiseling out my soul
well my friend Max died a few years back but I think about him every day you see his words of wisdom they guide my heart when I got a tough choice to make he said everyone's got an artist die painting pictures with their lives everything you say and do is a frame canvas of your own truth so I'm drizzling out my soul like the Michael Angelo he found spirit in the storm I'm chiseling out my soul y'all sit with me image [Music]
[Music]
[Music]
he found spirit in the Stone I'm chiseling cheers
[Music] so
[Music] [Laughter] much fun
I love you angel Seth I love you I'm so excited to Journey with you and Teo thank you for your sacred work in the world and your sacred Joy thank you for sharing your time with us if you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to support the podcast please share it with others post about it on social media and leave a ratings and review hey did you know that both Angel and Seth have books coming out in 2023 stay tuned and follow us on all social media platforms at bytes of light b-y-t-e-s-o-f-l-i-g-h-t
thanks again and we look forward to sharing space with you again soon
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