SELLEST OSAST
Do you lie awake at night running through every possible “what if” about your adult child?
What if they make the wrong choice?
What if they don’t land on their feet?
Should I call? Should I say something? Should I bite my tongue?
In this episode of Bite Your Tongue, Denise welcomes back psychologist and parent coach Jeffrey Bernstein, author of Freeing Your Child from Overthinking, to unpack the difference between anxiety and overthinking — and why that distinction matters so much in relationships with adult children.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why overthinking is a mental habit — not just anxiety
- How parents unintentionally fuel their adult child’s anxiety
- Why “less is more” is often the most loving response
- The danger of becoming a SWAT Team Parent
- How to support an overthinking adult child without fixing or rescuing
- The power of validation over advice
- How retirement and extra time can increase parental overthinking
The PACE Method
Dr. Bernstein introduces a simple but powerful tool:
P — Pause
A — Acknowledge
C — Contain
E — Engage
When parents regulate their own overthinking, adult children don’t have to defend against it.
Key Takeaway:
Overthinking fuels anxiety — and anxiety leaks into relationships.
But calm, collaborative parenting builds emotional safety.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop managing… and start mentoring.
If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review—your support helps more families find their footing.
Don't forget about our listening line at 719.347.1106.
We hope all of you will call to share their stories, ideas, episodes they liked or did not like. We'd like to begin answering these questions in each episode. So give us a call now at
719-347-1106.
We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic." We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.
Please follow us on social media now. It helps us so much.
Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
