Ep. 95 - The Catalyst: For Nestor (ft. Stacy Carlson)

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Stacy, welcome to the show.
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How are you doing today?
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I'm doing good.
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I'm a little nervous, but I'm good.
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I can't think of anything witty to say to that.
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Everything's going to be cool.
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All right, sounds great.
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All right, you ready for the first question.
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Yes.
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All right, my hands are going up.
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Okay.
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What's your favorite song about time and why?
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Okay, I have two of them and one I was going to say, but I think it's too easy for you, so I have another one that's a little more.
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I think it's obscure, so it's called it's a great day to be alive by Travis Tritt.
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I've never heard that one before.
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Okay, do you still guess the year?
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I mean, I've never heard the song and I have no idea, travis.
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Is that a country song?
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yeah yeah, no idea okay, do you want my other one?
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sure okay, it's love shack by b-52s oh, okay, well, yeah, that's uh oh, man was that 88 or 89 89 you got 89 okay, yeah okay, I'll put my hands down now, let's go for the.
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Let's talk about.
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You said Travis Tritt.
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So why is that your favorite, or what one of your favorite two songs about time that song reminds me of my brother a lot, so there is a time where we couldn't talk or we couldn't see each other, and so it connects me to him.
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But it also just talks about like just being in the present moment, like it's it's a great day to be alive, and although we have our like shadow phases, it's you know, it's.
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There's always an upside to that.
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There's always you can always find, you know, the good in that.
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I like that thanks how about love shack?
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oh, that just makes me so happy, that song.
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It brings me back to being a little kid and going on road trips to like Yosemite and stuff like that, and so now I I mean I still listen to it and I just dance because it's so fun, so it just brings me to a happy place.
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So a happy place and time from being a kid and still now like yeah, Great music video too.
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It's a little wacky, but yeah.
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All right, you ready for the second hardest question I'm going to ask you today?
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Okay, okay, bring it on.
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What do you believe in?
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Yeah, that is a hard question.
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What do you believe in?
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Yeah, that is a hard question.
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I believe in a lot of things.
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I believe in myself, I believe in the people that I love, I believe the universe works for us and I believe that we are all connected.
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So that means whether we're here on earth or in the spirit world, we're all connected.
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So I believe that the you know that our reality can be a beautiful place to be if we let it ready for the most difficult question I'm going to ask you sir who is Stacy?
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oh, okay, yeah, that one is harder than the last one.
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So, yeah, like we talked about in the pre-show, I like I am becoming so.
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I'm a person who likes to grow.
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I'm a person who changes every day and my labels, you know, like my.
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I'm a spiritual medium, I'm an end-of-life doula, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, but mostly I'm me, and so I'm just still figuring out what that looks like, and I hope I continue to figure out what that looks like every day.
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You know, like stepping more and more into myself and letting my soul grow.
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I'm going to jump in and try the new segment.
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Okay.
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So the segment is how have you grown?
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And in this little baggie that I'm holding up right now, I have four different options.
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Four different pieces of paper and I'm going to pull one of them out and well, you know what?
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I'll guinea pig it with you.
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Yes, let's go for it.
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Should I tell you what the options are, or should I just pull one out first?
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Just pull one out.
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Whatever happens happens.
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It's funny to watch you pick one oh, this is gonna be the most difficult out of the four options okay how have you grown in the last day?
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oh, okay, actually I have grown today.
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Um, yeah, because I had a session this morning and I don't ever give out personal details, but it was really beautiful and I channeled Mother Earth, which was really cool.
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It was just so like expansive and it just validated everything that I feel already of us being all connected.
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You know just the love that we can have for one another and the love that we can receive if we allow it.
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So I guess that's the biggest thing that I learned today is letting ourselves receive love, because it's you have to be really vulnerable to be able to receive love, and I don't think we always think about it that way.
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You know, it's easy to keep a little bit of a wall up, but the more vulnerable we are, the more love we can allow in from many different places.
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What does that mean to you with regards to vulnerability?
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Being authentic, so just being yourself and allowing yourself to, I guess, experience whatever is going to come up with, without any of the barriers, you know, without the pain.
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And if pain does come up, just kind of like going with it, just whatever's coming up.
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It goes back to what you were saying about presence, you know, being in the present moment, just allowing whatever's going to come up, with open arms, you know, and just just accepting what is and what can you learn from it, and seeing the beauty in those moments.
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Why do you think it was the earth that delivered that message?
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Or let me rephrase that why do you think that was the message that earth decided to deliver to you?
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And the person did the reading for today.
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Because that person has, from what I could feel, she was like yearning to make a connection and she has a connection with, you know, her spirit team and she was looking for something deeper.
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She wanted to be held and so, going for her, going into nature and putting her feet on the earth, you know, being a part of something is meaningful to her.
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So I guess it doesn't really.
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Yes, I believe that that's what I channeled, but it doesn't.
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I'm not asking anybody else to believe that, like for her, that is meaningful and that, you know, that was healing to her.
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So to me that's what counts is that she feels held, she feels supported agree with you.
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At the end of the day, I think that's.
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All that really matters is if someone decides to live their life in a and I don't know if it's objective, necessarily but in a more positive way, you know, based off of what's delivered.
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So if it's the earth or something else, or nothing at all, I don't see a problem with it.
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If it's helping you become a better person and it's not hurting anyone else.
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Right.
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Yeah, we all have our own path to walk, right, and that looks different for everyone because we all have different experiences and we all have a different perspective.
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You know that's been shaped by our experiences and everything.
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So to me there is no right or wrong way.
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As long as it feels right to you and you're not hurting anybody else, then you know, you just kind of go with what you feel and that's why I think that spirituality is so expansive and so cool, because it's so personal to every single person.
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Yeah, I agree.
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And just for the record, I don't know if it was the earth that was talking through you but, I, believe it's possible.
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Yeah.
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You know I probably wouldn't have believed that either.
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But you know, when it happened I was like this, you know I just I get confirmation in my body.
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I was like this just feels so right, like you know.
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So for me, yeah, but I understand what you are saying too, you know.
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But I think anything's possible and I wouldn't.
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I think that because I've experienced it.
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So again, there goes my perspective based on my own experiences.
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Right, and that's really all you can base it off of.
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Right, yeah, so yeah.
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I totally believe it's possible.
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All right, are you ready to dive in to why we're here today?
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Yes.
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All right.
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So death is the theme of this portion of the miniseries that I'm doing, and we're here to talk about how a death has acted as a catalyst for you to find meaning and purpose in your life, right?
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So I would like to just hand the mic and floor over to you to share your story.
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Okay.
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So, stacey, what you got.
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All right.
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So I know every you know death is personal to each person.
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You know their story and how they perceive it.
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So for me this is.
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I enjoy talking about it, although it's hard.
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The person that died for me was his name is Nestor, and he was my sister's boyfriend for four years and he lived at my dad's house with their family.
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I was already, you know, moved out with my own family, but we saw him multiple times a week so he became like my brother.
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So he's someone that you know was always really special to me.
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He would make funny like little jokes about me being a white girl loving pumpkin spice lattes.
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So this time of year, definitely, he would send me little funny things like that.
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And he is a super artistic person.
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You know he taught our dog how to sing when he played the harmonica.
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You know, he's just super fun to be around.
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And my sister to me it felt abruptly broke up with him and told him, you know, he needed to move out, like she wasn't happy in their relationship anymore, and to me it felt very abrupt that he was just out and so I tried to maintain a relationship with him and she got upset and because she, you know she felt like it was a betrayal to her, which I understood, so I respected that and didn't talk to him.
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And that was really hard to not talk to him.
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So the last time I had contact with him, we were at a soccer game for my daughter.
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That was close to where he lived and he saw that on Facebook that that's where I was, and so he texted me and he's like hey, I'm at work, but if you'd like to come by, you know I'd love to see you guys.
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And I didn't.
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I didn't go because I felt guilty about, you know, betraying my sister and I didn't want to hurt her.
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And a couple, couple weeks later we found out that he took his own life, and so you know that it was really hard.
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It was a hard time.
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Um, my whole family was close to him and I have other siblings too that were also close to him.
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So I never asked how he died because I didn't want to know.
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You know, just trying to help get through it and help my daughter.
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She was super close with him too.
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It was a hard time and a little bit later, maybe a year or two later, I started realizing that I had mediumship abilities and it was really scary at first because I hadn't done any work on myself, so I was attracting a whole bunch of like lower energy stuff and it was really scary.
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So there was stuff that would come in and I felt like I knew that I was being put through like this kind of boot camp with spirit, but I was like I feel like I have no control.
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I feel like I'm just scared all the time and I didn't like living that way.
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So, nestor, I could start to feel him around me.
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He would put his arm around me when I would get scared and you know, just be like brotherly, like super sweet, like he was when he was here.
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So it was really comforting to have him there.
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And one day didn't tell me but I knew that, I knew that I had been like advancing a little bit more in my like my boot camp thing and so he showed me, he made me physically feel how he died and that was really hard and I was like okay, okay, I get it.
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You know, in my head I'm saying this like okay, okay, I get it, I get it.
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And then it stopped like I understood how he died and that's what he was trying to get across for me, but he also was trying to get across to me that I had control, like I could determine if that is something that I wanted or not.
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So he helped me learn how to set a boundary and that's something that I'm really thankful to him for, because since then I I have had spirits that have tried to make me feel the same thing and I know how to stop it.
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I know how to tell them.
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I don't need to feel it that way.
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Like you can come to me in a different way and I'm not happy that that happened, that I had to experience that.
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But I'm happy that it was him, because I felt safe with him and he respected me when I told him that was enough that I understood what he was trying to teach me.
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Since then he's back to his like old Nestor self, where he, you know, tries to play like little jokes on me and at work he'll call and I know it's him because it says out of area private caller, which I think is hilarious.
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So he's taught me a lot and he's anytime that I need encouragement, he's always there with me.
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Need encouragement, he's always there with me and he's always the first one you know to put his arm around me and and make me feel like secure and you know, kind of like you know a little soft punch to the chin like you got this.
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You know, keep going, you got this.
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So how?
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are you feeling right now?
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um, all over the place, but mostly just I feel like like gratitude.
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You know, I feel really grateful to be where I am right now and that he got to be a part of that and that he is actively a part of it.
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Well, I'm glad he's still there with you.
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Yeah, me too, it's.
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It's pretty amazing, like I mean it was great to even just know him when he was here, and you know, he was always someone that was really special because he knew what it was like to not have the best home life, and so he valued people on a really deep level.
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So it's, I mean, I think we all have, you know, people in our lives that just make us feel so loved and so special, and he did that for so many people around him because he knew what it felt like to not feel that way.
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And he has two younger sisters and he always, you know, did whatever he could to help them feel loved and protected and safe.
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And so I, you know he's just someone who's so like giving to people and loves on a very deep level, and I think that's a special quality to have it's a rare quality.
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For sure yeah.
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I think you mentioned it was, was it two years later?
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Something like that.
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Yeah, I don't, I don't know exact timeframes, but yeah, something like a significant amount of time like that, yeah.
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So how do you feel that his passing served as the catalyst for it?
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I think that I already believed, you know, in afterlife.
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I didn't know necessarily what I thought that looked like, but I already believed in afterlife and reincarnation and that spirits could show us signs and things like that.
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So I already believed in that and so it was really comforting when he passed to think like okay, he's over there, he's watching over us.
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You know, he can still see us, we can still connect with him.
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But I kind of just thought of it as like I can talk to him on my own and, you know, hopefully he'll hear me and you know, maybe he'll send me a sign every now and then, or opened the door for me to be more open to spirits.
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You know, just because I I wanted that connection with him and it I guess it made it so that I could, since I was so open with him, I could be open with other spirits too.
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Right, why would it just be one person that you could connect with?
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So for me, I feel like he kind of paved the way for that and that he was like champion, championing me pretty early on, you know, for me to feel comfortable and to feel safe.
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And you know, when I didn't, when things were happening around me and I didn't understand.
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I still knew that he was there, so I didn't need to realize that I had like gifts as a medium to realize that he was there.
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It just it boggles my mind the way that things work out and how our lives shift in certain directions based off of events that happen.
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Yeah.
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And I think that that's beautiful, that at the core of it, you were open to him being there, even though he wasn't here physically if I'm understanding correctly.
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Yeah, yeah, I think that that's really cool.
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Yeah, and I mean I I guess this is just, you know, my own perspective.
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But you know, I think a lot of people want to believe, right, because you don't want to think about yourself losing that connection with somebody that you love so much.
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So we want to believe and so just by wanting to believe, you're opening that door, whether you realize it or not.
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I believe we can all connect to our own loved ones, that we have that ability and that they're there to show us that they're okay and that they love us.
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And you know in their own way, and we all have to interpret it in a way that feels right to us.
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But I know this might be controversial, but to me there's so much beauty in death and in grief.
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We see it in our society as something that is permanent and that is so like we just don't talk about it.
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It's so tab taboo.
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We don't know what to say when somebody dies.
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We don't know what to say to somebody else.
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Really, we don't have to say much.
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We just have to be there with them.
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Just sitting next to somebody that's grieving and sitting in that energy with them, in that heaviness with them, lightens their load a little bit.
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But you don't have to come up with the right thing to say, you just have to be there.
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And I think that's something that we don't talk about enough, that we don't think about enough because we are uncomfortable.
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So we are just trying to, you know, put a bandaid on it Like, oh, everything happens for a reason.
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Or, you know, nobody wants to hear that, nobody wants to hear that when they're grieving in, or you know, nobody wants to hear that Nobody wants to hear that when they're grieving, they want to know that they have somebody to lean on when they're grieving.
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And yeah, I just think that there's so much opportunity for connection with grief.
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Even if we haven't lost someone, we know what it's like to grieve a divorce, or maybe we didn't get that job that we wanted and we feel grief.
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Or you know, it could be a million different things we all grieve for for different reasons, and so that can be something that unites us, that connects us.
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There is beauty in that, and so I think if we just looked at it in a much broader sense, we could just be a better society I agree.
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I have a question.
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Yes, you mentioned that.
00:21:01.155 --> 00:21:16.875
I think it was part of your boot camp that he he gave you the sensations that he was feeling as he passed because you I think you had said that you didn't want to know right how he passed, but then he gave you the sensation.
00:21:16.875 --> 00:21:22.292
You then became aware of it at that time yes, right, very, very aware.
00:21:22.292 --> 00:21:32.938
Yes and then you learned how to make the decision whether or not you wanted to cut that feeling off if something else was giving it to you.
00:21:33.726 --> 00:21:33.986
Yeah.
00:21:33.986 --> 00:21:38.777
So I learned that I could first of all, yeah, that I can control it.
00:21:38.777 --> 00:21:42.973
So if he like how he was doing that and I was telling him, like okay, I get it.
00:21:42.973 --> 00:21:55.030
And so I learned that, okay, I don't have to feel those physical sensations and I've been tested on that a couple of times since then and it does work with other being, like other spirits too.
00:21:55.030 --> 00:21:58.115
So I am thankful that he taught me that.
00:21:58.115 --> 00:22:03.235
But I can tell them like I don't now I don't even need to tell them that I don't want to feel it.
00:22:03.235 --> 00:22:06.471
I've learned that you can ask for what you want.
00:22:06.471 --> 00:22:07.854
Spirit works for you.
00:22:07.854 --> 00:22:11.733
Basically, not to be rude, because I love spirit, but they work for you.
00:22:11.733 --> 00:22:16.131
They need you as much as you need them, and at first I did not think that.
00:22:16.131 --> 00:22:31.234
So now they just like if I need to know that information which a lot of times, I don't need to know that information, but if I do need to know it, it's just a knowing, so they'll just give it to me without me having to do anything.
00:22:31.295 --> 00:22:37.958
I don't need to feel it physically, I don't need to see it, unless it's something that is important to what the message is.
00:22:38.884 --> 00:22:44.298
Yeah, that was gonna be my next question about understanding without feeling or feeling it.
00:22:44.298 --> 00:22:54.307
And understanding because I've encountered people who have had questions regarding someone's death and wondering how someone went.
00:22:54.307 --> 00:23:03.715
So I was just wondering if you've encountered that where someone's had that curiosity and then you've either allowed it to come in or shut it off.
00:23:03.715 --> 00:23:06.248
Or it sounds like you don't even need to at this point.
00:23:06.248 --> 00:23:08.075
You just kind of understand it without having to feel it.
00:23:08.525 --> 00:23:17.747
Yeah, which is great to be at this point, it's great to be here, instead of feeling it.
00:23:17.747 --> 00:23:28.406
So there's one again, I don't want to go into detail, but there's someone that passed and they made me feel really dizzy and so I was like, okay, I knew that was an important part of what the message was, and it did end up being an important part.
00:23:28.406 --> 00:23:30.410
And then there was another girl.
00:23:30.410 --> 00:23:37.565
This is like during my boot camp phase, where she died in a car accident and honestly, this sounds so awful.
00:23:37.565 --> 00:23:46.912
But when I would drive to work, when I drive to work, I passed a cemetery and I would say hi to them and like, wish them a good day.
00:23:47.474 --> 00:23:52.576
Sounds so weird, but I swear I like attracted a spirit.
00:23:52.576 --> 00:24:00.706
And so when I got to work, I just felt like this crazy chaotic energy and I was like trying to make sense of it, like what is going on.
00:24:00.706 --> 00:24:09.091
I just felt like this person like doing circles around me and I was like, okay, I can't even like read this energy because it's so chaotic.
00:24:09.091 --> 00:24:15.578
So I just like breathed and, you know, like felt into it a little bit more and I was like, okay, it's a girl.
00:24:15.578 --> 00:24:27.531
I could feel that it was a teenage girl and her hair was like crazy, and she, she was frantic because she was trying to figure out where she was and she didn't know that she had died.
00:24:27.531 --> 00:24:37.812
And so I, you know, I was trying to get her to just listen for a minute and so I told her and she was really upset.
00:24:37.812 --> 00:24:48.826
She was upset at herself because of the way that she died, and she died in a car accident because she was on her phone texting and she ended up rolling her car.
00:24:48.826 --> 00:24:55.348
She was the only car, so she didn't hit anybody and it took her about 20 minutes to die.
00:24:55.348 --> 00:25:00.380
And so she made me feel every pain.
00:25:00.380 --> 00:25:03.146
And this is after Nestor, after Nestor showed me.
00:25:03.186 --> 00:25:07.377
So I would tell her like, okay, I don't need to feel it, can you ease off a little bit?
00:25:07.377 --> 00:25:14.797
And she'd be like, yeah, sorry, and then she would get mad at the situation and then she would ramp back up and I'd have to keep like reminding her.
00:25:14.797 --> 00:25:17.186
You know, please, please stop, please stop.
00:25:17.186 --> 00:25:18.088
I don't need to feel it.
00:25:18.088 --> 00:25:20.394
But I ended up being able.
00:25:20.435 --> 00:25:30.446
It took a couple days but I ended up being able to help her, see that she was, she could help her family from the other side, like she had been stuck.
00:25:30.446 --> 00:25:43.287
I didn't realize this because she didn't tell me, but because I knew where the cemetery was where I passed, I was able to look up to the facts that I knew and find her and I was like, oh, that is her when I saw the picture.
00:25:43.287 --> 00:25:44.028
So it was really cool.
00:25:44.028 --> 00:25:58.556
So I was able to tell you know, to show her like it's okay to go to the other side, you'll able to help your family, they'll be able to get messages from you, you don't have to be stuck here.
00:25:58.556 --> 00:26:00.542
But she had been stuck there for four years and so their time is so different than our time.
00:26:00.542 --> 00:26:04.556
But I am like I can't even imagine four years of feeling like so chaotic and not knowing what happened to you.
00:26:04.556 --> 00:26:15.040
So she ended up being thankful that she was able to cross to the other side but you did a good thing well, thanks, it just felt.
00:26:15.140 --> 00:26:21.921
I honestly I'm like I don't really want you around here anymore, like, like she was super sweet but she just had a.
00:26:21.921 --> 00:26:33.988
You know, she was intense and it was very teenager, like throwing fits kind of like she even physically I like I don't even know how she did it, but she was so mad that she was knocking stuff off the shelves.
00:26:34.990 --> 00:26:46.496
It was, yeah, it was pretty crazy yeah, I mean still, not not necessarily my forte you know that realm, but the way I see it is.
00:26:46.496 --> 00:26:53.607
Maybe someone else would have come and helped her move along or come to the awareness of the state that she was in.
00:26:54.249 --> 00:26:54.490
Yeah.
00:26:55.573 --> 00:27:00.467
It was you, so if it hadn't been you, it would have happened later with someone else.
00:27:00.467 --> 00:27:02.451
For sure, you did a good thing.
00:27:02.932 --> 00:27:04.897
Thanks, yeah, I would hope.
00:27:04.897 --> 00:27:16.197
Yeah, I know that there's lots of different people that have the ability, different mediums and can do different things, and so, yeah, I definitely think somebody would have helped her and, yeah, it just happened to be me.
00:27:17.166 --> 00:27:18.370
That's one of those things I wonder about.
00:27:18.370 --> 00:27:37.550
With regards to people and abilities, I could say that it's it's becoming more and more prevalent in my sphere, but then I also wonder is it just the echo chamber that I'm in and that I just happen to be in a space where there are a lot of people with those kinds of abilities who are naturally attracted to that?
00:27:37.570 --> 00:27:55.997
But then the flip side of it is even in my own personal life there have been people who I've known for years, and once I started to be more public as a past life regressionist, they would then start sharing some of their paranormal experiences with me, as if I'm saying oh yeah, I know what you're talking about.
00:27:55.997 --> 00:27:56.599
I have no idea.
00:27:56.599 --> 00:28:04.035
Past life regressionist I deal with people's past lives, not with the, with the ghosts, but now that you're not there, right now.
00:28:04.745 --> 00:28:06.168
But sorry.
00:28:06.168 --> 00:28:11.679
But one thing maybe you don't realize this is that you attract healers because you are a healer.
00:28:11.679 --> 00:28:17.578
Maybe you don't like that term, but that's why you're saying you know you have people on your podcast and in your life.
00:28:17.578 --> 00:28:19.691
They're coming to you because you can relate.
00:28:19.691 --> 00:28:23.571
Even if it's not the exact same experiences, it's all the same work.
00:28:33.765 --> 00:28:37.459
Yeah, I mean, I guess it's one of those things where I wonder if it is truly becoming more prevalent out there or if it's just because of the position that I'm in and that.
00:28:37.479 --> 00:28:37.961
I happen to attract that.
00:28:37.961 --> 00:28:38.442
You know what I'm with.
00:28:38.442 --> 00:28:39.125
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:28:39.446 --> 00:28:52.163
From all appearances, right, yeah, that's what all appearances to me, it seems is becoming more prevalent, but uh yeah, so there's a lot of closeted spiritual people out there, people with closeted abilities.
00:28:52.764 --> 00:28:52.945
Yeah.
00:28:53.105 --> 00:29:00.659
Where I mean it's like I met people in certain industries where you'd be like, oh, there's no way, this person Right yeah.
00:29:00.659 --> 00:29:02.528
Lo and behold like damn.
00:29:03.131 --> 00:29:03.532
Yeah.
00:29:03.773 --> 00:29:04.615
You got abilities.
00:29:05.076 --> 00:29:22.157
Yeah, it's hard to put yourself out there like that you know, because you're opening yourself up for, like, I mean just your own self judgment, but then judgment from other people, and there also are people that are not true, you know, to what they're saying, that they can do, and so, yeah, it makes it harder.
00:29:22.157 --> 00:29:30.211
But even just like I have a very accepting family, but even in my family I was like, okay, how do I just say this, you know?
00:29:30.211 --> 00:29:34.208
And, um, people are like, yeah, like it wasn't a shock.
00:29:34.208 --> 00:29:36.915
I was like, okay, it's shocked to me.
00:29:36.915 --> 00:29:38.987
How come nobody else thinks it's, you know, shocking?
00:29:39.649 --> 00:29:48.114
Were you at a family dinner or something and everyone got quiet and then you just kind of looked around the table and blurted it out Like I talked to dead people Exactly like that.
00:29:48.153 --> 00:29:48.434
Yes.
00:29:48.735 --> 00:29:55.271
And then all their eyes, like, looked at you they're just like yeah did I say that out loud, was it like that?
00:29:55.271 --> 00:30:05.232
Yeah, exactly like that really no I have a question about something else you mentioned earlier okay I think you would.
00:30:05.232 --> 00:30:15.199
You had mentioned that, when these abilities came online, that you were attracting some lower energies because you hadn't done the work on yourself yet.
00:30:15.199 --> 00:30:18.455
When you said hadn't done the work on yourself, what did you mean by that?
00:30:20.246 --> 00:30:28.574
That actually might be the hardest question you've asked me, because I honestly didn't love myself.
00:30:28.574 --> 00:30:36.740
I didn't feel worthy of anything really, and I yeah.
00:30:36.740 --> 00:30:40.605
So they were easily attracted to that.
00:30:40.605 --> 00:30:51.817
You know it's easy to kind of this is the wrong word, but it's the only word that's coming to me is like prey upon energy of just loathing pretty much.
00:31:00.360 --> 00:31:02.182
It wasn't just, you know, me learning how to navigate spirits.
00:31:02.182 --> 00:31:16.850
It was learning how to navigate my own darkness, sitting in that darkness and meeting myself where I was at, and trying to do it without judgment, which is way harder than it sounds and because that's all I had for myself was judgment.
00:31:16.850 --> 00:31:29.953
So it was learning how to accept myself, to love myself and there's lots of layers that go into that and then getting to that point where you can actually trust yourself.
00:31:29.953 --> 00:31:33.626
And so for me that took a long time.
00:31:33.626 --> 00:31:43.294
You know that took another couple years to be able to do that, and I didn't see myself as an intuitive person or a spiritual person.
00:31:43.294 --> 00:31:46.487
Even All I saw was the bad in myself.
00:31:47.369 --> 00:31:53.246
So again, one day when I was at work I was listening to a podcast, because I love podcasts.
00:31:53.246 --> 00:32:09.103
It was about this lady that was channeling, and she was channeling, like the council of eight, I think it was, or something like that, and the message that came through was there's nothing that you can do that will take you off your path.
00:32:09.103 --> 00:32:14.762
Like you chose to be here, you chose the body that you would be in, you chose your personality.
00:32:14.762 --> 00:32:16.306
You chose all that stuff, right?
00:32:16.667 --> 00:32:23.504
Sorry, no one saw me rolling my eyes right now, yeah, and there's nothing you could do to veer off your path.
00:32:23.504 --> 00:32:25.631
So whatever is meant for you will find you.
00:32:25.631 --> 00:32:33.941
And yes, I understand how cheesy that sounds, but for me that was the first time that I was like, oh my god, I can take a load off now.
00:32:33.941 --> 00:32:35.965
Like it took so many burdens away.
00:32:35.965 --> 00:32:37.268
It felt so right for me.
00:32:37.749 --> 00:32:45.865
So I was like I chose this, I chose to, I chose this, I chose to be myself, I chose this personality, I chose this body, I chose where in all of this stuff.
00:32:45.865 --> 00:33:13.268
And so for me that was so liberating and this again sounds dumb, but I was looking there's a paper towel holder right next to me and I looked at myself for the first time, like, like in the eyes, and I saw my soul, like, I just felt, like I saw myself and it was like the most like mind blowing feeling ever where I was like, okay, all right, we can do this.
00:33:13.268 --> 00:33:22.791
Like I was the first piece to my like self love and to you know, working on myself, where I felt like I actually made a breakthrough and it just came through, so, like organically.
00:33:24.694 --> 00:33:25.074
I mean I.
00:33:25.074 --> 00:33:30.221
I think that that's beautiful and my eye roll comes from a place of.
00:33:30.221 --> 00:33:54.812
I think that message really is dependent of who's hearing it in the eye of the beholder for sure because spiritual gifts don't necessarily equate to integrity yeah and spiritual gifts don't necessarily equate to someone who is advanced or something of that nature, and I think that that's something that gets lost on a lot of people is.
00:33:54.812 --> 00:34:01.740
I've encountered people in this space who, just because they have gifts, doesn't mean that they should be flaunting them.
00:34:02.701 --> 00:34:03.383
It's it's.
00:34:03.944 --> 00:34:11.041
it can be dangerous, and my eye roll comes from the place of when I hear that statement.
00:34:11.041 --> 00:34:38.992
I put myself in the shoes of other people where all I hear is I can do no wrong, I can cause no harm, there is nothing that will deviate me from my path, because if I hurt someone, that was all part of the plan I could be, slightly cynical, but that sounds so fucking fluffy it is.
00:34:40.563 --> 00:34:44.344
That's part of the reason why I love it like honestly but there is.
00:34:45.646 --> 00:34:59.735
There's something to it, though, at the same time, because it got you to look at the paper towel holder and look yourself in the eye and and I I get what you mean by that, because it was the thing that you had readily available to give you some kind of reflection.
00:34:59.735 --> 00:35:05.631
Right, it doesn't need to be a fucking mirror no, like, yeah it just was right.
00:35:05.671 --> 00:35:09.201
Excuse my french there, sorry no, no, you don't need to worry about that.
00:35:09.201 --> 00:35:13.432
I haven't dropped any f-bombs yet, but I'm sure they're coming what's it gonna take?
00:35:15.463 --> 00:35:16.164
not much.
00:35:16.164 --> 00:35:18.007
It doesn't take much.
00:35:18.007 --> 00:35:29.492
Um, yeah, I totally get that and I appreciate that there's, you know, other perspectives, because I don't want to be one of those people like how you were saying.
00:35:29.492 --> 00:35:38.592
You know that there are people who are not using it with integrity and that makes my job even harder.
00:35:38.592 --> 00:35:41.256
But also, I enjoy that challenge.
00:35:41.256 --> 00:35:47.380
The challenge comes in just me being more authentic, you know, just being true to myself.
00:35:47.380 --> 00:35:53.253
So it doesn't matter if people like me as I am or not like because I like myself.
00:35:53.253 --> 00:36:02.413
That's not something I would be able to say before, and so, yeah, it's okay if there are people out there giving everyone a bad name.
00:36:02.413 --> 00:36:06.612
Not that I like that, but that's just part of where we live, that's part of our duality.
00:36:06.612 --> 00:36:08.503
We have good and bad Like.
00:36:08.503 --> 00:36:09.606
That's just what it is.
00:36:10.268 --> 00:36:12.273
You know you mean you believe in duality.
00:36:12.273 --> 00:36:15.583
I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
00:36:15.804 --> 00:36:16.124
I'm not.
00:36:16.124 --> 00:36:16.744
I'm not all fluff.
00:36:16.744 --> 00:36:27.766
I'm definitely not all fluff, I'm not, but I enjoy the fluffy side so much because I have been in the dark side for so long.
00:36:29.068 --> 00:36:30.893
Yeah, as long as it's not all fluff.
00:36:31.601 --> 00:36:31.822
Right.
00:36:32.122 --> 00:36:33.447
I mean, sometimes you need some fluff.
00:36:34.510 --> 00:36:35.452
Yeah.
00:36:35.452 --> 00:36:42.280
Yeah, fluff is great, yeah, but sometimes the messages I ask to come out are messages of love and healing.
00:36:42.280 --> 00:36:46.568
But that does not mean that there's not hard messages that come out.
00:36:46.568 --> 00:36:54.180
Sometimes you know it's like you need to I mean nicer than this but like basically wake up, or this needs your attention.
00:36:54.180 --> 00:36:55.664
You need to look at this.
00:36:55.664 --> 00:36:58.932
You know this is causing your life to go this direction or whatever it is.
00:36:58.932 --> 00:37:17.231
We all have family dynamics and those don't change just because people on the other side, if anything, they're like amplified because all of your, your emotions get jumbled up in that too you know the tapestry of it all right sorry, the eye roll thing wasn't mean, was it you?
00:37:17.271 --> 00:37:17.412
you?
00:37:17.693 --> 00:37:29.193
you know what I was doing, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're good okay, cool, I didn't want it to be rude no, nope, no offense, it made me laugh what's?
00:37:29.293 --> 00:37:30.822
what's the never mind I was.
00:37:30.822 --> 00:37:34.172
I'll ask you about that once we stop recording.
00:37:34.172 --> 00:38:10.682
Okay, thank you so much for coming on today and sharing your story, because I think that it's just really cool and really neat If I could just break it down to something very simplistic that you were able to take your grief and, no pun intended, channel it into something a little healthier no pun intended channel it into something a little healthier and and I mean, dive into death a little bit more, but in a in a cool way where you can help people understand the meaning of life through that.
00:38:10.682 --> 00:38:13.648
So I think that's so cool.
00:38:14.209 --> 00:38:14.650
Thank you.
00:38:14.650 --> 00:38:20.088
Yeah, that's actually one of the reasons why I mean, I didn't know I was going to be a medium.
00:38:20.088 --> 00:38:39.191
That's not something I planned on ever, but I I felt like, you know, I was being led to be an end of life doula, which is what I I studied to do because of the beauty that I think that there is in grief and in death and stuff, and so for me it was like helping people heal before they go.
00:38:39.191 --> 00:38:56.646
So is there anything that you want to say before you go, like let's get this all out on the table, kind of thing, and that you don't have to pass with pain, right, with emotional pain, and that also can help people that are still here feel like maybe they don't have to carry those hard feelings either.
00:38:57.381 --> 00:39:00.910
And to me that just like continues down to each generation.
00:39:00.910 --> 00:39:03.344
Right, it has the potential to do that.
00:39:03.344 --> 00:39:05.851
So that's the reason why I wanted to get into that.
00:39:05.851 --> 00:39:40.713
And then they like I've kind of been it's kind of a mix of you know, what I do now is mostly mediumship, but also there's some end of life stuff in there too, you know, helping people pass and do it in a way that brings integrity and love and all of that good stuff probably want to draw a hard line or distinction there, because I don't know if you can bill after they've already gone well, I know where to find them, so maybe okay, well, okay, you have a whole new business going on there.
00:39:41.887 --> 00:39:49.789
I mean, there's a whole other collections agency yeah actually I, you know what.
00:39:49.789 --> 00:39:59.751
That would be probably very lucrative if you could find a way to do a collections agency for the death or for the dead, because you can't go after them at that point.
00:39:59.751 --> 00:40:02.561
But you know I'm sure the way our system is set up.
00:40:03.041 --> 00:40:16.988
If they could find a way to go after the dead, they would I'm sure just come to stacy I don't want to be that slimy person that's like me, medium, that's not me right.
00:40:16.988 --> 00:40:27.211
Look, if you decide to do that, I'll pay for your 1-800 number oh my god, did you imagine the call, the messages that people would leave?
00:40:28.461 --> 00:40:42.905
oh, that would be son of a bitch still owe me 75 dollars from 1973 yeah yeah, yeah like this asshole, like robbed my safe when I, you know, or who knows, who knows what else?
00:40:42.905 --> 00:40:48.914
Yeah, or owes me coffee, or you know, something like the stupidest thing that people hang on to sometimes.
00:40:49.075 --> 00:40:52.028
Like sure you know my services cost a little more than that cup of coffee.
00:40:52.028 --> 00:40:57.227
I don't give a shit, it's the principle that matters here.
00:41:01.900 --> 00:41:03.403
I'll stick it to them in the grave if I could, and now I can.
00:41:03.403 --> 00:41:06.392
I really hope that we didn't just give somebody an idea to start trying to do something like that.
00:41:07.701 --> 00:41:10.670
Well, if we did, then we'll sue their ass.
00:41:10.670 --> 00:41:16.425
Oh my God, that would be funny.
00:41:16.425 --> 00:41:16.968
I'm sorry.
00:41:16.968 --> 00:41:21.852
I would be very amused by that if someone actually started a business for that.
00:41:23.081 --> 00:41:25.809
It would be amusing, it would be horrible.
00:41:25.809 --> 00:41:28.086
Yeah, I'd be like that's all, Daniel Me.
00:41:30.061 --> 00:41:31.427
I'm not the one who's setting this thing up.
00:41:31.427 --> 00:41:35.809
There's a lot of crazy ideas I come up with, but I don't follow through, Like that's horrible.
00:41:36.760 --> 00:41:38.326
That is horrible, jeez.
00:41:40.240 --> 00:41:49.106
I'm glad I'm giving off that impression that I'd be the one who would go forward with setting up the death collector no, you wouldn't set it up.
00:41:49.146 --> 00:41:53.278
You'd just be the one that gave the idea, so they could credit you for that idea.
00:41:53.320 --> 00:41:57.934
Can you imagine that karma that I'd be carrying around from life to life for being the one to start that industry?
00:41:57.934 --> 00:41:59.700
Yeah that'd be something.
00:41:59.700 --> 00:42:04.041
Well anyways, where can everyone reach you?
00:42:06.184 --> 00:42:06.326
um.
00:42:06.326 --> 00:42:15.365
You can find me on instagram and tiktok at stacycarlsonsoulspeak well, thank you so much again for coming on.
00:42:15.405 --> 00:42:15.945
This is a.
00:42:15.945 --> 00:42:31.947
This has been a an interesting one, full of lots of lots of good ideas and notions, and not so good ideas and not so good ones, but I just hope at the end of the day got a little tongue roll there.
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I hope at the end of the day that the takeaway is something good can come from grief.
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Yes, yep, there's beauty.
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There's beauty in it it well.
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Thank you so much for coming on and yay yay, thank you.