Bryan Callen Can’t Handle Harland Williams | Off Limits

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For those of you don't know, Harlan, you've been performing
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on such a high level as a comic like you
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are truly one of the best comics period, So what
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is your process for doing that?
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My processes, there is no process. I don't look at
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comedy technically. I look at it as a spirit that
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flows through me. And so I've just learned over the
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decades of doing this to just put total faith in it.
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Walk through that curtain, I go, Spirit, take me where
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I need to go. Yeah, it's like a magic carpet ryde.
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All right, let's start this podcast. Welcome to Off Limits.
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I want to welcome the I mean, you one guest
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of the year on the Kiltny podcast, which is the
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biggest live podcast in the world. I think is it
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in the world, I think on the globe. So you're
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in a lot of ways the best. You're a world champion,
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and I want to know how that has changed your life.
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We should start with that. Harlan Williams in the house, everybody.
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Ah yeah, my shirt's a little tight for anybody watching this,
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and part of that it's like a lot of times
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that's because I've shrunk my shirt. But in fact, now
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that I moved to Austin. I've just been taking my
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workouts to another level. So I'm getting what's called stupid muscular.
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Oh that's a shirt. I thought you had a rash
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like your skins, like shrimp pink.
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Well it's not shrimp, it's tope. There's a difference. Well,
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well I have a ruddy complexion, okay, because I have
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the Irish and me took over. Even though I'm half Italian.
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The Irish seem to have those genes, seem to have
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colonized my Italian, my Southern Italian jeans, which is fitting
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if you think about history. Now, let's stop talking about
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melanin or lack of melanin in my skin. I want
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to talk about how your life has changed since you've
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been since you've been a world champion.
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Uh, well I've always been a champion, David.
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No, it's sorry. It's Brian Count. Yeah.
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Well you said you were half Irish.
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Well yeah, but my name is Brian Count. We known
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each other a long time, so.
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With Brian and Gaelic.
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Oh right, I forgot about that.
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Is your shirt on a little?
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Gaelic means king of the Jews?
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Right, you know, if your shirt's too tight. It messes
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with your circulation.
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Guy.
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Yeah, I know, like if you get too tight and
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too ripe and too shrimp pink, Yeah, you're probably not
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going to have a cohesive pod here today.
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Yeah. So, here's what happens when you close your legs. No,
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I won't. Here's what happens if you did. You when
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I hit that gym and I say to myself, who's gym?
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We're not taking any prisoners, okay, Jim, No, no, no, it's
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a gym.
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You said you're gonna hit the gym.
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All right. I want to get to some real substance
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of conversation here.
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It's your podcast, all right, If you could just shut
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the legs a little. No, I feel like I'm at
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Sharon Stones kind of colleges, Like just like four inches
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if you could tighten them up.
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I don't like when people try to control my body language.
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So I have a right to express myself. I moved
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to Texas the Grand Canyon. All right, Well you can
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look up here then you know what I'm saying. Okay,
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so you're at the Mothership this weekend. Yeah, you did
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a movie. You wrote and directed a movie called What Sidemen? Wingman?
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Wing Man, and you play the wing man and the
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woman you cast is now on Landman and she's the
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lawyer Kayla Wallace. She's a very good actor.
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Oh, she's incredible.
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And what was that audition like? Because now she's blown up.
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So I auditioned her from like a whole bunch of
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reels acting submissions. Yeah, like I think about thirty or forty,
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and she just popped out, like there's three good ones,
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but she was the top of the three. And what
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was it about that?
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Because that was fascinating with I've worked with actress and
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actresses where I go, oh, that's why you're so much
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better than me, because they do this intangible thing.
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Well, she had the nuance, like she had the nuance,
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but there was a vulnerability to what she did, and
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she had sort of the right look as well. I
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wanted that sort of Jennifer Garner like really cute touch
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of farm girl, but and not to be creepy, but
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a little bit of that sexuality where you're like, oh,
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I'd also like to like kiss the make out with
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this girl. And I think Jennifer Garner has that. She's
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got the little freckly face in the dimples, but she's
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also sort of sexy too, And that's a that's I
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think what Julia Roberts had when she did Pretty Woman.
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So I was looking for that kind of quality or
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their multiple levels of attraction to her. And and then
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on top of that, she just delivered with her acting.
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And you throw that together and I think when people
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see Wingman, they'll just fall in love with her. Yeah,
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she's really great.
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That's that's that charisma, that that intangible that some people have,
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like it's an expression in their eyes or even like
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a like it's a hunger. Like if you ever think
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about why you fall in love with somebody or why
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you get why you end up moving in with somebody
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or whatever it might be. Yeah, a lot of times
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it's not. The bone structure is one thing. They look good,
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it's a different there. There's there's a look in their
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eye or something. There's something about it. Even though I
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can't see your eyes, I'm sure you, I'm sure you
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have a lot of that going on. Wow.
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Wow, Yeah, the zoom in it all on eyes.
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circle because it's just too important not to do. Thank
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you or a dot com slash Brian Count. A lot
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of people don't know that you're an actor and I
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and I wanted to do a little something, a little
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just kind of like maybe maybe challenge you here to
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a couple of acting exercises, right, I love it.
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I am an actor, Yeah, I'm a I'm not just
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an actor. I'm a trained actor with the Lanaskovsky's UH
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School in Africa.
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Oh, I thought you said Stanislav.
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Lanaskovski and South Africa. I studied with Gail Braithwaite in
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Cleveland for four years and then.
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I was a technique, yes, yeah.
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And I also did the Kevin Bacon Summer Camp summer camp,
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and then I did four Years.
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That was before you had reached puberty here before.
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This was after I did his summer summer acting camp.
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And then I did four years at Devride Night school
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isn't a technical, yeah, but they do techn there's a
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technique to acting. I did the nights. I did a
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lot well enough fish sorry. I did the Carolburnet Comedy
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UH Seminar at the Tokyo Convention Center in eighty nine,
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and I did the Demi Moor. It was sort of
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like a sex camp, like there's acting, but there was.
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It was a sex camp, but it was like hot,
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tantric sex in a sweat lodge and then.
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So learning how to use your sexuality on camera.
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Right that, but then as to to sort of take
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our mind off the sex and we could regroup for
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the next day. She'd, because she's an actress, we do
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she'd we do an acting seminar at night, and we do.
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She called it cinnamon acting. And what she what she
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does she sprinkle like like sort of like way this carpeture.
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She put cinnamon on the floor and we'd do scenes
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from Shakespeare. Uh. We did some scenes from Three Men
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in you would.
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Be you do that when you were lying on the floor,
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so you weren't standing. We'd lie and stand, okay in cinnamon.
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Yeah, because you you know, when you do you're doing
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Demi Moore sex camp, you're dripping in sweat.
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Yeah.
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And so the cinnamon, I guess just helps with the pores.
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It's also a good antibacterial. I don't know if you Yeah,
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that's true. So it keeps things clean.
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Yeah. And so we did scenes from a Schindler's List.
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We did scenes from uh, what was it called Mannequin?
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That movie Mannequin.
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That I could understand. The Schindler's List doesn't feel like
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it's a place where you would need a lot of sexuality.
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Dude, when you're in a cinnamon Demi Moore sex camp,
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it doesn't matter the genre. We did some scenes from Blacula.
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I don't know if they ever saw that horror movie
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with the the African American vampire Blacula. We did some
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scenes from Two Thousand Leagues under the Sea where Demi
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was off to the side.
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Yeah, remember that.
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Spring was squirting's.
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A squirterer giant octopus.
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The squid the squid actually, but she's a squirter and
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so she'd be laying off to the Yeah.
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No, I just feel like this is kind of personal and.
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Well it's a camp. But you asked me about acting.
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If you were to talk about rhyan ostros is, let's
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go there. But if you want to, you said you
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wanted to get deeper into stuff I want. I'd sort
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of open up to you want to do something. They're
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grinning like you just like you're peeking through Delta Berg's
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window at night watching her play with a cucumber.
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Delta berk Is, that's a that's a fairly older you're
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dating yourself. But I appreciate the reference. I was grimacing
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a little bit. I just found it a little off putting.
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Now let me let me move on, and would you
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mind doing a demonstrating what you would do with a line?
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For example? Great, I thought maybe you could show us
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how you you you get shot. Obviously you don't die
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right away, and and you've been you've been shot, and
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I want the challenge. The prompt would be, as you're dying,
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you say one thing that fills your killer with guilt
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for the rest of his life.
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Oh wow, yeah, okay, so I'm already shot.
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Yeah, but I but and then you die and we'd
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like to see how you die.
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Okay, right, So do you want to see this the
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shot or I'm already shot.
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I will shoot you, okay, and you will react and
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then you probably have This is a fairly it's a
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nine millimeter, so you probably have, you know, ten to
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fifteen seconds, i'd imagine before you expire. But I'm going
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to leave that up to you.
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But what am I? Just for context? Because I think
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what we're doing now, just so you folks know we're
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creating art, And what am I doing as I'm getting shot?
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Am I at the kitchen table? Am my harvesting crops? Like?
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What am you're You're actually we're going to start with
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you you telling me that this is all a big
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misunderstanding and that you didn't steal my money. Okay, And
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I'm glad you asked, because it's it's important for any
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of you young students out there to have context and
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to know where you're coming from. And that was a
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great lesson already, So thank you for that.
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When what's your character's name? Just so I can get into.
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This, My character's name is ritann retard ratan.
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Sorry, yeah, I'm having trouble.
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Now.
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Did you say retard?
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No? I said ratan? So yeah, can you spell it
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for me?
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So it's R A T A M okay, And could
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you use it in a sentence because I'm hearing retard well,
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and you look a lot like a retard. Okay, that's
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your being well, I'm trying to get a character.
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Okay, fungus face, look retard? Do you mind? So let's
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try this. You have to give me I'm going to say,
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where is my money? And as you're giving me the excuse,
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I'm going to shoot you.
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Let's do it.
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Okay, let's do it? Ready, Yeah, and action, Look where's
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my money?
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I don't know what to tell you. I had the money,
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I lost it and you lost it.
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I lost it.
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Okay. I was in the alley with Danny, okay, Danny
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having me covered. We were walking to your back door.
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We hit How many shots did you take? Oh? Sorry,
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can you do it again? I thought there were multiple.
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I thought you were having a spasm.
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No, I thought you should. Usually you shoot six times
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to make sure they're dead, at least the movies, I do.
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Okay, do you want to act or not retard ratten, reten.
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I'm gonna do it again, and let's start again, and
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I'll shoot you shot. Yeah.
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And the shift to say the one word that makes
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you regret.
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Well, you've got to say a or whatever that fills
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me with guilt for the rest of my life. And
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then and then you have to expire.
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Okay, got it ready?
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Where's my money?
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I strayed to God? I had your money. I don't
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know what happened to it. I was in the alley
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with Donnie and and we were walking down the alley
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and did.
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It sprout wings and fly away? To God? You would
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to God? What cat ran by? It was a black cat?
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Stop?
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Uh?
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I always wanted to slavery your giant glitting a minivan door.
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Oh ah, okay, see and seeing and see and seeing
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like over, stop pulling it in here. Stop stop pulling
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it in here. Stop pulling it into the hell you're
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pulling it in plant.
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I was trying to act. You didn't what Am I
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a giraffe?
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No?
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But Jesus anyways, that's how I act.
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Okay, I really didn't understand what you You said, I
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want to slam your giant into a door.
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You said say something guilty, make me feel guilty.
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You were supposed to make me feel guilty.
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Right, I never did it, and secretly the under look.
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But that's not that's nothing. I know it. But it's
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a man who shoots you. So why are you saying.
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That because I want you to feel guilty that this
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has never happened, that I didn't take your Let's I
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don't know if you.
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Let's just move on. Let's move on. Let's try another exercise.
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I'd like to do one more.
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Yeah, this is great.
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Yeah.
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I never thought my training would come into play like that.
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Well, this is something I'm experimenting with. I want to
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do an online acting class and I want to get people.
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You've had a lot of actors sort of what they
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can do season train and you can apply this to
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a lot of things. So this is the next exercise.
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You've got to tell me you love me without using
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the word love.
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Got it?
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All right? Yeah, all right, action.
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Carl. Yeah, I have deep emotional feelings for you. Where
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I picture us on a boat, standing on the deck
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with the hot Bermuda tropical breeze cascading across our oiled bodies,
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and I slip my hand into yours and rub the
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hairs on the back of your neck, and my soft,
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puffy hand slowly crawls down your spine like an albino
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tarantula finds a nest in the crack of your Armenian
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hair covered ass crack.
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And I'm just gonna stop you there. It's a little creepy, right,
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and it seems to be going on for a long time.
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Is there any way you can abbreviate it? And it's
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part of the exercise.
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00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:08.839
Well, I can't say the L word, so I'm trying
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to sort of set up the intimacy and the connection we.
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Have, right, But could you do it without referencing a
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sexual situation?
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I didn't say love once? Can you give me a
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little that was?
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Yeah, But if you could try it again without sort
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of being too sexual and mentioning the word love? Okay,
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00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:36.200
And we're just we're just two guys, and I'm going
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00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:38.599
to give you even more context. We've been friends a
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long time. I have no idea you're gay. I have
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no idea. We're probably just a couple of farmers sitting
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on the end of our this is we have our
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pickup trucks and we back them up to the cornfield
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and we just talk sometimes and we just drank beer.
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I'm sorry I'm adding this stuff, but it's coming to
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me now.
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00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:59.119
Doesn't matter to me. I'm a professional actor. Yeah, I
352
00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:01.240
can take it. I have I have to move off.
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00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:03.839
There's one thing Kevin Bacon and Demi Moore taught me,
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00:19:04.680 --> 00:19:07.079
uh be flexible, move on the fly.
355
00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:10.759
That's right. I had an acting teacher used to that too. Yeah,
356
00:19:10.839 --> 00:19:12.720
we stay in the moment. So why don't we try
357
00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:15.359
this again? And we're just a couple of farm kids
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with rough hands and broad shoulders. You know what's again.
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00:19:19.599 --> 00:19:22.559
My name is Billy Bob and this you know you
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called me Carl last time.
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00:19:23.880 --> 00:19:26.000
Well that was for that scene. We're on the boat
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and my hand was in your armenium.
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00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:31.519
We're in We're in the outskirts of Norfolk, Nebraska. You
364
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know what I mean. We're in farm country. I love
365
00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:36.279
doing character work. Yeah, you're great, and so we're just
366
00:19:36.359 --> 00:19:39.240
looking out and I'm just I'm just a family man.
367
00:19:39.319 --> 00:19:40.680
I mean, hell, I got a girl at home.
368
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:43.519
But I got to somehow convey to you that I
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love you anymore.
370
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You just can't hate it, Okay, this thing is eating
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00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:51.759
you alive. Okay, and you know you gotta be careful
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00:19:51.799 --> 00:19:54.720
out here because we're in We're in you know, we're
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in the heart of Nebraska. This is God's country. You understand.
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The Bible is read every single Sunday. So you've got
375
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a lot of guilt here, but you got it. But
376
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:07.759
you love the ship out of me. Yeah, you know
377
00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:09.400
what I mean. Like, all you want to do is
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probably kiss me, got it? Okay, true, with clear eyes
379
00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:17.119
and a full heart, you know, like a farm guy,
380
00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:18.680
like a farm boy. I mean, you want to get
381
00:20:18.680 --> 00:20:23.640
those rough hands around my shoulders or whatever it is. Maybe,
382
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:26.119
I don't know. You probably think about a lot of
383
00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:30.200
stuff and you're real confused about this now, yeah, because
384
00:20:30.480 --> 00:20:33.319
well you're supposed to marry Jenny.
385
00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:39.559
Yeah, she's a great girl. Great great, Oh come. I mean,
386
00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:42.359
no one puts a cobbler on the window ledge like.
387
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:45.559
Nobody puts a cobbler on a window ledge like Jenny
388
00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:48.440
steams out there in that Nebraska.
389
00:20:48.119 --> 00:20:51.359
Cross care smell it wafting across the heather.
390
00:20:51.680 --> 00:20:56.079
Probably probably from wheat she shocked herself, Yeah right, probably
391
00:20:56.119 --> 00:20:57.480
wheat she shocked herself.
392
00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:00.160
You know it's shocked wheat. You shuck an oyster it,
393
00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:01.240
you know.
394
00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:05.119
But if yeah, I'm not. I don't know much about farming,
395
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:07.200
but you're already in character, which is kind of amazing.
396
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:10.079
That's kind of amazing that you just you're already assuming
397
00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:12.559
a farmer. Farmers know how.
398
00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:16.920
I create a history immediately. Kevin Bacon once said, history
399
00:21:17.079 --> 00:21:20.200
is the future if you look back on what we've
400
00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:27.400
done tomorrow, because tomorrow represents yesterday's dreams that permeate into
401
00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:32.279
the endless infinity of time. And I kind of bring
402
00:21:32.279 --> 00:21:34.440
this to every character I develop.
403
00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:41.400
Seems like, okay, so why don't we start? Okay, and
404
00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:44.599
you've got to tell me it's eating you a lot. Yeah,
405
00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:48.599
So I'll let you start with Billy Bob and then
406
00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:50.880
you can just take it. Yeah, I might open up
407
00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:55.680
with just I'll just say something innocuous. Okay, corn's hie
408
00:21:55.720 --> 00:21:56.720
this time of year in it.
409
00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:01.759
Oh, Billy Bob, Colt's coming and real nice and tight
410
00:22:01.880 --> 00:22:06.119
and ripe. Now, you know, it makes me feel things
411
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:10.000
that i'd love you to feel, maybe deep down inside.
412
00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:14.720
In fact, if you want to head over there by
413
00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:19.079
the edge of the rose and pull down your farm
414
00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:23.839
pants and run backwards through the corn, eventually you're going
415
00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:26.480
to feel the way I feel about you now, Billy
416
00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:32.599
Bob Tight and Ripe and Stephen Kings style children of
417
00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:37.079
the Corn. Now you run backwards through them rows and
418
00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:41.000
you go stretch open wide like Orville Red and Boxer's
419
00:22:41.079 --> 00:22:46.640
garage door. Yeah, you said, I can't say love.
420
00:22:47.240 --> 00:22:51.000
That was We started out really strong. It was very
421
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:53.200
good and very grounded. But then you started talking about
422
00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:54.759
me running.
423
00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:56.480
Backwards through the corn.
424
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:02.400
Because what was the Yeah, I asked you to do
425
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:06.319
the I'm not sure that's good. I like that? Is
426
00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:07.359
that a huge beer can?
427
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:09.319
Oh, this is just the cushion.
428
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.519
I'm a fidgetter. Anyway, that was really that was really good.
429
00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:16.720
I thought, I thought that was really good. I thought
430
00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:17.799
you I thought I hit it.
431
00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:20.319
Yeah, I thought I got to the emotional like I
432
00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:22.640
felt there was an emotional connection.
433
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:24.279
Who's your favorite actor?
434
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:31.559
I would probably, if I'm being honest me and I
435
00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:34.200
think you can see why because of you know, the
436
00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:37.039
training I've had, what I've done. I mean, I'll rent
437
00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:41.319
a steamroller. Have you ever seen a giant steamroller? And
438
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:43.920
if I see her out of a country fair, a
439
00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:48.359
farm fair, even on the streets of LA I'll run
440
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:50.200
over Meryl Street with a steamroll.
441
00:23:50.279 --> 00:23:51.039
How would you do that?
442
00:23:51.880 --> 00:23:57.079
Well, because I'm the actor, she can go suck the
443
00:23:57.200 --> 00:23:59.960
rust off the side of a shrimp bowl.
444
00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:01.960
I don't know why you're so well.
445
00:24:02.119 --> 00:24:06.079
Yeah, she can go, uh, get a can of black paint.
446
00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:08.279
Yeah, fill in the white on a.
447
00:24:08.319 --> 00:24:14.079
Zebra and ride a darkie into the horizon. Like I'm
448
00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:16.960
you're the guy. I'm the actor. I see when we
449
00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:19.680
talk actings, you ask me who's the best?
450
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:21.200
You' see acting as a competition.
451
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:24.599
Meryl Streep can stand a canoe up in her toilet
452
00:24:25.319 --> 00:24:29.640
and paddle all the way down ship River because I'm
453
00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:30.839
in Daddy's in town.
454
00:24:30.960 --> 00:24:32.559
Okay, Yeah, I got it.
455
00:24:33.079 --> 00:24:35.759
You're asking these questions like you don't want the answer.
456
00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:38.480
You You just don't like your competition, is what you're saying.
457
00:24:38.519 --> 00:24:40.440
I'm just saying there is no competition.
458
00:24:40.599 --> 00:24:44.640
Got it? Well, I can see. Can you did some demos?
459
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:45.759
Do you sing it all?
460
00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:46.559
Yeah?
461
00:24:46.599 --> 00:24:49.160
You do? Oh? Yeah, you gotta do it all? Is
462
00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:52.759
there a song? Is there a first you could sing? Yeah?
463
00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:55.839
Any any in particular ones? Sure?
464
00:24:56.079 --> 00:24:58.559
Do you you look like you're an Areo speedwagon guy?
465
00:24:58.680 --> 00:25:00.920
I am an Ario speedwagon? Who isn't an R S
466
00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:01.680
B Wagon guy?
467
00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:06.359
Heard it? From a friend who excuse me, just before
468
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:08.119
it's singing is a whole other level.
469
00:25:08.279 --> 00:25:09.680
It is. Just give me.
470
00:25:10.440 --> 00:25:11.880
It's all singers know this.
471
00:25:12.279 --> 00:25:14.400
You whistle heard it.
472
00:25:14.359 --> 00:25:20.039
From a friend who heard it from a friend who
473
00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:26.559
heard it from another. You've been messing around. You make
474
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:32.680
it a few white lie you're putting on your bedroom. Ah,
475
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:40.720
you're messing around and you're fucking my fan. You take
476
00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:44.480
it on the round, baby.
477
00:25:44.839 --> 00:25:46.799
That's what you know. I did the thing. Are you
478
00:25:46.920 --> 00:25:49.359
doing that? I was about to say, yeah, I was
479
00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:52.319
about to say I was about to say that, Yeah.
480
00:25:52.359 --> 00:25:55.279
I took a summer camp when she was alive, before
481
00:25:55.319 --> 00:25:59.359
she went for that swim, and she had a summer
482
00:25:59.480 --> 00:26:02.319
bubble camp where we sang by the lake because the
483
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:05.519
lake has the acoustics where you can't buy that, and
484
00:26:05.799 --> 00:26:07.640
you couldn't even go to the Sydney Opera House.
485
00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:10.359
And you're from Canadas, so I'd imagine you grew up
486
00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:11.000
around lakes.
487
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:12.720
Yeah, lakes all around.
488
00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:13.440
Yeah.
489
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:16.680
I love water. In fact, when my mother's water broke,
490
00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:19.920
I actually popped out and had a sip like a
491
00:26:19.960 --> 00:26:20.599
baby deer.
492
00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:23.359
I was a goddamn right off the floor.
493
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:24.440
I love water.
494
00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:27.200
Yeah, you're a water guy. I thought you were a
495
00:26:27.240 --> 00:26:28.000
hockey guy as.
496
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.680
Well, hockey too. Well, what happened. Here's what's funny. I
497
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:34.920
recommended my mother's water broke. She was outside a froze
498
00:26:35.799 --> 00:26:38.279
and I popped out and threw some blades on and
499
00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:40.799
I skated around for about half an hour till my
500
00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:44.960
placenta dried, and then I crawled back up inside because
501
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:45.960
baby got cold.
502
00:26:46.119 --> 00:26:52.519
Okay, if you're not get looked, dude, you'll ask questions.
503
00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:55.359
You show up here in your shrimp pink outfit.
504
00:26:55.839 --> 00:26:59.640
It's tope. But well, now I'd like to shift gears.
505
00:27:00.279 --> 00:27:02.279
Do you go back to Canada and are you happy
506
00:27:02.319 --> 00:27:03.400
with the state of Canada.
507
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:06.079
Canada is not a state yet, but it will.
508
00:27:05.880 --> 00:27:07.839
Be with the state of Canada. And I don't know
509
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:10.480
if it's not a state yet. No, I know that's
510
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:14.400
a real content state. Yeah, when Trump is talking about
511
00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:16.559
it being a fifty first state, did you take umbrage
512
00:27:16.599 --> 00:27:16.799
with that?
513
00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:20.680
I don't know what the word umbradge means. I'm an actor,
514
00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:23.599
I'm not a I'm not William Shakespeare.
515
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:26.759
Okay, well, I guess you take offence to that.
516
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:30.079
I have no reason to take offense. I might do
517
00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:31.240
a concrete wall.
518
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:37.400
But yes, no, yeah, okay, so you you think it's
519
00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:39.559
okay for Canada to be the fifty first state.
520
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:43.000
So there's a lot of Canadians outraged at me right
521
00:27:43.079 --> 00:27:46.799
now because I said it's a possibility.
522
00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:47.480
Did you say that.
523
00:27:47.559 --> 00:27:51.119
I've said it because it's everything is a possibility. That's
524
00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:54.480
so I've had Canadians go, you're a trader, and this
525
00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:57.519
is I'm a proud Canadian. I love being a Canadian.
526
00:27:57.599 --> 00:28:01.160
I'm a deep proud Canadian. I might even go out
527
00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:04.119
on Pride Day to show how proud I am. But
528
00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:09.079
I said, everything in life is moving. Everything changes. Alaska
529
00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:13.279
used to be part of Russia. North Korea and South
530
00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:16.119
Korea used to be one. East and West. Germany used
531
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:20.759
to be one. Geography changes all the time. And you
532
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:22.920
know there's a lot of emotion when it comes to
533
00:28:23.079 --> 00:28:27.000
national pride. Oh we'll never change. But let me just submit.
534
00:28:27.079 --> 00:28:29.839
I'm not saying do it. I'm not saying it's gonna happen,
535
00:28:29.880 --> 00:28:34.920
but let me submit. Here's the strongest economy on planet Earth,
536
00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:40.599
the most powerful military on planet Earth, saying hey, you
537
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:45.960
want a free all of this, And you could say yes,
538
00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:48.039
you could say no, not for me to decide, But
539
00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:51.839
anything's a possibility. Doesn't make me a trader, makes me
540
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:56.000
a free man expressing ideas well.
541
00:28:56.039 --> 00:29:00.799
Canadians are historically not that prideful of their country. In
542
00:29:00.839 --> 00:29:04.000
a way, they're very easy They're very easy going, super pride. Yeah,
543
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:06.680
they're very easy going in other words. So I feel
544
00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:08.960
like if you were to invade any country, you could
545
00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:12.319
probably invade Canada and they'd be they'd be like they
546
00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:14.960
they're so polite that they'd be like, Hey, this is
547
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:18.000
not cool, bro. But I don't know if they would.
548
00:29:18.119 --> 00:29:22.119
They don't be deceived. They know Canadians have a hockey
549
00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:23.000
player's fighting.
550
00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:23.599
It's true.
551
00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:26.039
Actually, so they're very nice at the end of a
552
00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:30.000
hockey game, they shake hands, but during the hockey game,
553
00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:34.160
they're the meanest piples you've ever met. So Canadians, yes,
554
00:29:34.279 --> 00:29:37.240
they are nice until you push them the wrong way,
555
00:29:37.519 --> 00:29:39.799
and they can be just as bad as a don't
556
00:29:39.799 --> 00:29:43.839
forget Canada was instrumental in winning World War Two. They
557
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:46.960
landed on the beach in Normandy. They helped shape and
558
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:51.240
change the tract of the of that war. Oh yeah,
559
00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:54.440
Canadians played a huge part in helping to win the
560
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:59.200
Second World War. Really so Canadians. Yeah, we're nice, we're plpe.
561
00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:02.000
But you you want to party, we'll party. It's called
562
00:30:02.039 --> 00:30:06.480
throwing down the gloves. Okay, yeah, it's called dropping the hammer. Yeah,
563
00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:10.240
it's called we'll twist your neck off. People are all
564
00:30:10.279 --> 00:30:12.279
like fluid and suck your lips.
565
00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:16.079
Yeah, they're tough. I don't know where that case. Yeah,
566
00:30:16.200 --> 00:30:18.359
but I know you mean we're tough.
567
00:30:18.519 --> 00:30:21.720
We're tough, we're nice, we're plpe. But and and people
568
00:30:21.759 --> 00:30:24.240
get sensitive when you mentioned, oh, we're going to become
569
00:30:24.279 --> 00:30:29.119
the fifty second state. But you know, life changes, history changes,
570
00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:32.400
and and sometimes you know, I'm not saying do it
571
00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:36.400
or out do it take it easy, Canada, but sometimes
572
00:30:36.759 --> 00:30:39.319
when a good deal is thrown at your door, you
573
00:30:39.400 --> 00:30:41.279
have to at least look at it and go, hey,
574
00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:45.200
let's say if I don't know some smaller country, like
575
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:50.359
I don't know some well Greenland or or Bermuda in
576
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:54.759
the state. I mean, look at Hawaii used to be independent. Yes,
577
00:30:55.400 --> 00:30:57.799
so you know you're some you're some country that's not
578
00:30:58.039 --> 00:31:01.240
Canada and the United statesas Hey, how would you like
579
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:04.480
to be part of the biggest economy and military in
580
00:31:04.519 --> 00:31:07.279
the world. Blah blah blah, everything that comes.
581
00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:08.759
With you're saying there's some upside to it.
582
00:31:09.400 --> 00:31:11.519
There could be if if, if that's how you want
583
00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:12.039
to see it.
584
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:15.759
But people who are Canadian will resist that, of course,
585
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:18.680
because it took a lot to become Canadian, took a
586
00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:21.039
lot to etch it to sort of like etch out
587
00:31:21.079 --> 00:31:25.880
that territory. That settlers that went through Hell settling that incredible,
588
00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:28.240
like that that inhospitable.
589
00:31:28.359 --> 00:31:33.160
They're called voyagers yea Manitoba American. Yeah, voyagers we had.
590
00:31:33.319 --> 00:31:37.920
We had guys, you know, going through the Saint Lawrence
591
00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:41.240
River on the Hudson's Bay and tough pepeaver coats and
592
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:45.079
big long they're called long canoes and yeah.
593
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:49.240
Yeah, not easy trapping animals, grizzly bears, timberwolves.
594
00:31:49.559 --> 00:31:52.279
It's really the cold in Canada's the rugged country. But
595
00:31:52.400 --> 00:31:55.559
here's here's why. Okay, Canada, don't get mad at me.
596
00:31:55.759 --> 00:31:57.880
And again, this is all comedy.
597
00:31:58.079 --> 00:31:59.279
Yeah, it's all comedy.
598
00:31:59.359 --> 00:32:02.880
But if I would want Canada to become part of
599
00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:07.799
the States, this is comedy for one reason, and maybe
600
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:10.880
it's not comedy. So I never have to I fly
601
00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:13.839
from Canada to the US a lot, so I never
602
00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:17.200
have to go through an immigration line again. Stand in
603
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:22.680
those lines like a donkey slaughter filling out the stupid paper.
604
00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:26.200
Say stop you for no reason, there's no point to it.
605
00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:29.480
You fill out those things. It takes three hours extra.
606
00:32:29.759 --> 00:32:32.640
So just to get rid of that, come on, let's
607
00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:32.839
do it.
608
00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:36.440
Are you a dual citizen? Yeah? Yeah, it's such a
609
00:32:36.440 --> 00:32:38.640
pain as when you get to Canada. We're waiting in
610
00:32:38.680 --> 00:32:42.279
that long like snaky line, let me in and coming out.
611
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:45.559
Yeah, it's just like it's sort of degrading just for
612
00:32:45.720 --> 00:32:47.359
that to get rid of the border.
613
00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:48.599
Let's do it.
614
00:32:48.839 --> 00:32:52.880
Yeah, and again I'm joking Canada my own people, relax.
615
00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:56.880
But where would draft Dodgers have to go if you
616
00:32:57.000 --> 00:32:58.839
took Canada away? You know what I'm saying.
617
00:32:59.039 --> 00:33:02.759
Yeah, well there's no Vietnam Vietnam anymore, so you can
618
00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:06.160
just sort of not worry about that. You and know me,
619
00:33:06.200 --> 00:33:08.759
you look like you were I'm not that old dude.
620
00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:11.400
You look like you did a few tours I have.
621
00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:13.480
I'm a pretty rugged guy.
622
00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:18.079
That's what it is. When you're so tough. You look
623
00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:20.839
like you were in a Vietnamese platoon. You you you
624
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:23.279
got some you got some gravity toss.
625
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:25.599
Go ahead and ask me what I do if a
626
00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:27.960
man came through this door right now to attack me.
627
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:30.599
If a man came through this store right now with
628
00:33:30.680 --> 00:33:34.599
like a bamboo like spear and came right at you,
629
00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:38.400
how do you react. We're a too fast even.
630
00:33:38.319 --> 00:33:42.119
C I'd meet him halfway home. What do you mean,
631
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:44.640
I'd meet him halfway.
632
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:49.440
Halfway to the door. Yeah, so you'd go about five
633
00:33:49.880 --> 00:33:50.400
expect me.
634
00:33:50.359 --> 00:33:53.039
To be in shock and just stand here and go what.
635
00:33:53.279 --> 00:33:56.880
But I rehearsed that kind of scenario constantly in my brain.
636
00:33:57.440 --> 00:34:00.720
So what I do is I just redirect the point
637
00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:05.319
redirected of the spear. It's just a parry here. You
638
00:34:05.319 --> 00:34:07.039
ever see how they do that with a tiger shark.
639
00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:10.679
You you just go like this, You just you just
640
00:34:10.760 --> 00:34:13.800
take you just put your hand, your left hand on
641
00:34:13.960 --> 00:34:16.960
his right eye, and you just direct him this way.
642
00:34:17.039 --> 00:34:20.000
And he's like, what kind of like being a c matador,
643
00:34:20.039 --> 00:34:22.760
I'm a bamboo matador. So you come in with your
644
00:34:22.920 --> 00:34:27.800
dumb bamboo spear and it's here, and now you're right here,
645
00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:32.639
and then it's this, it's elbow, it's knee, it's a
646
00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:35.840
lot of things that seems like a lot of technical work.
647
00:34:35.880 --> 00:34:38.880
You know what I do? Yeah, I pull out a panda.
648
00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:41.360
I keep a panda cop in my back back. Oh,
649
00:34:41.480 --> 00:34:43.199
I just pull it out and that's all they eat.
650
00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:44.320
They love bamboo.
651
00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:48.440
Okay, so that's just yea almost like pack hands it
652
00:34:48.519 --> 00:34:49.239
starts eating it.
653
00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:51.360
Yeah, and then I'm just I can relax, have a
654
00:34:51.400 --> 00:34:54.920
bowl of cheesies, maybe enjoy some springles.
655
00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:57.800
Or or we just see a big cloud of peepee
656
00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:02.239
on them them khaki pan it's yours.
657
00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:05.280
Just for technical reasons because I went to meteorology school.
658
00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:08.079
A cloud of pp, a cloud.
659
00:35:07.719 --> 00:35:11.119
Of pep and you know what happens when somebody does that. Oh,
660
00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:13.280
Brian redirects that point too.
661
00:35:14.320 --> 00:35:19.199
Yeah, are you into that stuff where people make sounds? Girls?
662
00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:19.440
Get on?
663
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:20.400
Mr?
664
00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:21.679
What did you call me?
665
00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:30.760
Hey? S m R. It's called so there are people
666
00:35:30.800 --> 00:35:33.039
that love that, and there are a lot of people
667
00:35:33.960 --> 00:35:34.840
that hate it.
668
00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:36.239
Why are you squirming?
669
00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:39.519
Now? What kind of diet do you stick to? Is
670
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:40.719
it pringles and gatorade?
671
00:35:40.880 --> 00:35:44.760
My diet sticks to me. I don't stick to a diet.
672
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:47.159
I eat caramel ice.
673
00:35:47.039 --> 00:35:50.480
Cream, caramel fudge.
674
00:35:49.559 --> 00:35:52.480
And I love a good uh walrus steak.
675
00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:56.119
Have you had walrus? Yeah?
676
00:35:56.639 --> 00:35:58.960
You have it at all foods.
677
00:35:59.360 --> 00:36:01.960
I didn't know that. Yeah, boy, that seems.
678
00:36:02.199 --> 00:36:04.519
Yeah, it's sick if you are you a fan of bacon, Like,
679
00:36:04.559 --> 00:36:05.800
do you like fat?
680
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:06.760
I do? Well?
681
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:10.960
Wallers does blubber. They go another step to like I'm
682
00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:12.400
on a blubber diet.
683
00:36:13.079 --> 00:36:13.719
Are you?
684
00:36:13.880 --> 00:36:17.639
Oh dude, It's just like it's like drinking. It's a
685
00:36:17.679 --> 00:36:21.840
difference betweenking a regular unletted or diesel. Yeah, it's just
686
00:36:22.360 --> 00:36:24.840
it's like a fuel in there when I do my
687
00:36:24.840 --> 00:36:26.840
my nine mile run every morning.
688
00:36:26.519 --> 00:36:29.079
And nine miles, yeah, nine.
689
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:32.159
Like I'm just using this Walrus blubber as almost like
690
00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:34.960
an extra gas tank. Wow, do you run?
691
00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:39.239
I don't. I hate running really, Yeah, I don't like
692
00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:41.960
to run. I lift weights, I do a little jiu jitsu,
693
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:42.639
and I box.
694
00:36:43.960 --> 00:36:45.400
Talk to me about jiu jitsu.
695
00:36:46.360 --> 00:36:48.920
I'm getting too old to do jiu jitsu, Like I
696
00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:52.039
just don't care enough. But like sometimes I'll do a
697
00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:54.199
little touch sparring with these guys and then we'll like
698
00:36:54.440 --> 00:36:57.280
do a little quote unquote MMA, so that incorporates wrestling,
699
00:36:57.679 --> 00:36:59.440
And what that means is I'm doing it with these
700
00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:03.320
guys who professionally. So when I say I do jiu jitsu,
701
00:37:03.800 --> 00:37:07.280
that's another way of saying I'm on my tummy or
702
00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:11.239
on my back, uh, squirming around trying to get out
703
00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:15.880
from under a larger, more experienced man who's giggling a lot. Wow.
704
00:37:15.960 --> 00:37:18.599
Does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah, So that's kind of
705
00:37:18.599 --> 00:37:20.400
what's going on with me. Do you know whenever I
706
00:37:20.519 --> 00:37:23.639
say these things like I box or I do jiu jitsu,
707
00:37:24.159 --> 00:37:26.519
if you were there, you'd see me moving around with
708
00:37:26.519 --> 00:37:28.960
a guy who was way more experienced and he's not
709
00:37:29.079 --> 00:37:31.119
really hitting me, but I'm kind of like trying to
710
00:37:31.159 --> 00:37:31.800
hit him.
711
00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:32.360
Wow.
712
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:34.840
But it makes me feel like I'm tough. And I
713
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:37.119
like to tell people that I box, and I like
714
00:37:37.159 --> 00:37:37.960
to tell people I.
715
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:40.760
Do jiu jitsu, jiu jitsu. Do you do Muslim atsu
716
00:37:41.519 --> 00:37:47.480
I or just the jew stuff? So I think you're
717
00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:49.960
ever wrestled, roll around on the floor with a Muslim
718
00:37:50.039 --> 00:37:53.440
or a or a Hindu even like a hinduitsu or.
719
00:37:53.519 --> 00:37:56.599
I roll with people. I roll with several people, and
720
00:37:56.599 --> 00:37:57.679
I don't ask their religion.
721
00:37:58.079 --> 00:38:01.719
Well, I thought you said you did jiu jitsu. I
722
00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:07.960
heard you say it's jayu too. I'm just asking do
723
00:38:08.039 --> 00:38:09.360
you do jiu jitsu or not?
724
00:38:09.719 --> 00:38:13.760
I do a little jiu jitsu, which is a Japanese
725
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:17.840
word meaning I don't know wrestling with a jew. No,
726
00:38:18.199 --> 00:38:20.280
it doesn't. Well, it's a common misconception.
727
00:38:20.639 --> 00:38:22.039
You're commonly trying to fuck.
728
00:38:22.159 --> 00:38:26.280
It's a common misconception, and that's not what it means.
729
00:38:26.840 --> 00:38:29.480
Sounds like it, so there sounds like it. You are
730
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:33.840
you're very white? Yeah, yeah, you're white guy.
731
00:38:34.039 --> 00:38:37.039
I was telling you earlier I'm white. But something happened.
732
00:38:37.079 --> 00:38:40.719
I threw my spine out. I was doing karate at
733
00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:45.119
that Japanese Cultural Center down at forty ninth and whitmore
734
00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:45.599
over here.
735
00:38:45.639 --> 00:38:49.119
I know it very well, and I threw my My three.
736
00:38:49.000 --> 00:38:52.119
Lower vertebrates snapped when I picked the young boy up
737
00:38:52.199 --> 00:38:55.400
and snapped him over my knees, hung boy like a
738
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:58.599
Japane Like, there's kids over there learning and I'm sort
739
00:38:58.599 --> 00:39:00.039
of like, I'm there.
740
00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:02.360
White belt, yellow belts. I'm a black belt.
741
00:39:02.360 --> 00:39:05.519
So there. I was like, oh, the sensei master, can
742
00:39:05.559 --> 00:39:07.599
you show me a move? And all? Remember how Bo
743
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:10.480
Jackson used to snap a baseball bat over his knee.
744
00:39:10.559 --> 00:39:11.760
Yes, I'll pick up.
745
00:39:11.639 --> 00:39:15.039
A little Korean boy or a Vietnamese kid and just
746
00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:17.639
snap him over my knee. And I guess I overdid it.
747
00:39:17.719 --> 00:39:21.199
The kid was a chubb like a chubby yeah.
748
00:39:21.400 --> 00:39:27.159
F Holland first of all is not a Korean or
749
00:39:27.519 --> 00:39:30.079
Vietnamese martial art.
750
00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:32.360
Wow, they're all the same. I mean when you go
751
00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:35.760
when you go to pand exprast you, I mean it's
752
00:39:35.840 --> 00:39:39.719
incredible cash shrimp. I mean it's all on one plate.
753
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:44.320
No, pandas are indigenous to wear, thank you.
754
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:46.719
I know I keep one of my backpack.
755
00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:49.960
Hello, we're a tiger's indigenous too. Can you get India?
756
00:39:50.440 --> 00:39:51.880
One tall Nepaul?
757
00:39:52.840 --> 00:39:53.639
In Russia?
758
00:39:54.280 --> 00:40:00.000
Russia? And there's one more place the tigers more places
759
00:40:00.039 --> 00:40:01.920
I would be considered technically India.
760
00:40:01.719 --> 00:40:12.039
India, India, don't tell me India, Russia, Nepaul Uh Indonesia, No, yes, yes,
761
00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:18.880
very good geez. And I don't know if there's any
762
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:24.760
other places Thailand perhaps or they once.
763
00:40:25.320 --> 00:40:28.000
Look up and see if tigers. I don't think they're
764
00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:31.280
there anymore. But actually tigers are in Vietnam, so they
765
00:40:31.400 --> 00:40:34.519
must be also in Thailand. Is that accurate? Though?
766
00:40:34.559 --> 00:40:38.119
Because I know you're referencing, I think you're right.
767
00:40:38.199 --> 00:40:43.320
I'm gonna say that tigers are in Thailand. There's a subspecies,
768
00:40:44.079 --> 00:40:48.719
so it's an underwater tiger. Yes, it's an aquatic tiger subspecies.
769
00:40:48.719 --> 00:40:56.679
And there's one more place. There was the now extine' yes,
770
00:40:56.760 --> 00:40:59.960
that's the Tasmanian tiger. There's the there's the Siberian tiger
771
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:02.199
that's in Russia. As you said what I said, and
772
00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:03.639
it's the biggest of all the time.
773
00:41:04.519 --> 00:41:07.840
And where else is Well, I wouldn't fat shame them.
774
00:41:08.599 --> 00:41:10.559
They could eat you in a second. Say it to
775
00:41:10.639 --> 00:41:13.519
its face, Say it to its big striped face.
776
00:41:13.679 --> 00:41:14.960
You'd have your hands full.
777
00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:19.599
I wonder if a zebra and a tiger copulated, if
778
00:41:19.599 --> 00:41:23.119
they would create a picasso. Well, because that's like a
779
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:26.159
firestorm of stripes, orange, black, white.
780
00:41:26.639 --> 00:41:29.639
Maybe a pollock. Well, they wouldn't really meet, would they
781
00:41:29.639 --> 00:41:33.280
in the wild bread? But they are meat, Yes, they
782
00:41:33.320 --> 00:41:41.039
are meat. There's one more country, China, China. You miss China.
783
00:41:41.159 --> 00:41:44.880
Can you check that, Carl, Yeah, it's actually China has
784
00:41:45.880 --> 00:41:53.960
You're really bad with the names. Man, China has tigers. Yeah, yeah,
785
00:41:53.960 --> 00:41:55.840
there you go. See that is it?
786
00:41:55.920 --> 00:42:00.239
A traditional orange and white tiger is a subspecies.
787
00:41:59.719 --> 00:42:04.440
Additional orange and white.
788
00:42:05.079 --> 00:42:05.559
I wanted to.
789
00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:07.920
Switch gears because you wrote and directed wing Man.
790
00:42:08.360 --> 00:42:10.480
How do we go from tigers to wing Man?
791
00:42:10.679 --> 00:42:15.360
Because we've we've kind of exhausted tigers. You have, all right, Well,
792
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:18.639
go ahead, wing Man as the As the steward of
793
00:42:18.639 --> 00:42:20.639
this podcast, I have to make sure that people are
794
00:42:20.960 --> 00:42:26.119
getting something from this. Who's your favorite director and what's
795
00:42:26.119 --> 00:42:28.920
your favorite five? Your top the five movies that had
796
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:30.079
the biggest influence on you.
797
00:42:30.679 --> 00:42:37.559
Ridley Scott's Blade Runner the first one, Unbelievable orson Wells,
798
00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:40.960
Citizen Kane, Groundbread. You've never seen it.
799
00:42:41.039 --> 00:42:42.119
I have never did it to him.
800
00:42:42.599 --> 00:42:43.840
Do yourself a treat.
801
00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:45.239
Yeah, never did it for me?
802
00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:46.599
Have you seen it?
803
00:42:47.239 --> 00:42:48.280
Twice?
804
00:42:48.679 --> 00:42:51.519
And from a directing point of view, at the point
805
00:42:51.639 --> 00:42:54.719
in his cinematic history in that movie was made, I
806
00:42:54.800 --> 00:42:57.519
suppose that guy was he paved the way for all
807
00:42:57.519 --> 00:43:00.719
these other ones. The things he did with the camera
808
00:43:01.400 --> 00:43:02.320
had never been seen.
809
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:04.599
I don't know. See I didn't watch watched it, but
810
00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:06.119
I did, but I didn't watch it with that eye.
811
00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:07.559
Oh rewatch it.
812
00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:11.320
Remember it came out when cameras were just sort of
813
00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:15.480
set up and shot. This guy was panting through walls.
814
00:43:15.599 --> 00:43:18.880
This guy was, Oh, you've got to rewad that. The angles,
815
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:22.480
I mean, that's what That's what really made that movie
816
00:43:22.679 --> 00:43:24.960
to be considered one of the greatest movies.
817
00:43:24.880 --> 00:43:26.400
Of all because it was so groundbreaking.
818
00:43:26.480 --> 00:43:30.320
It was so groundbreaking. Rewatch it through that lens. And
819
00:43:30.440 --> 00:43:35.920
remember that before that movie, cameras were very stationary and
820
00:43:35.920 --> 00:43:37.800
and and very sort of standard.
821
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:41.159
And then he just and he was really never able
822
00:43:41.159 --> 00:43:43.360
to replicate that again, was he.
823
00:43:43.519 --> 00:43:45.880
Well, he did a movie called Touch of Evil, which
824
00:43:45.920 --> 00:43:49.280
was really great, but yeah, he's one of those guys
825
00:43:49.320 --> 00:43:55.119
that he crested with his first huge yeah, and and
826
00:43:55.159 --> 00:43:58.719
it was so monumental, it was so groundbreaking that he
827
00:43:58.800 --> 00:44:02.480
could never he could never rise to that same height
828
00:44:02.519 --> 00:44:05.559
and so Para sort of ruined his career in a
829
00:44:05.599 --> 00:44:09.840
way because he could never get there again. He achieved
830
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:14.559
with his first shot, which is great, but everything else
831
00:44:14.760 --> 00:44:18.800
paled in comparison afterwards. Although if you look at Touch
832
00:44:18.840 --> 00:44:23.159
of Evil, there's there's a film noir ask quality to
833
00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:26.199
that that is so cool. Have you ever seen Touch
834
00:44:26.239 --> 00:44:29.079
of Evil? Oh? It's easy, big, and he's fat. He
835
00:44:29.440 --> 00:44:32.719
played a grizzly old detective down in New Orleans and
836
00:44:32.800 --> 00:44:33.920
the streets or.
837
00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:37.039
Hot Is that the scene where he pushes his mother
838
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:39.559
down a flaty stairs in a wheelchair and laughs?
839
00:44:39.800 --> 00:44:43.119
No, okay, no, but it's with a young Charlton Heston
840
00:44:43.280 --> 00:44:45.800
and it's just a lot of shadows and a lot
841
00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:49.119
of you know, it's it's a really like steamy sort of.
842
00:44:49.119 --> 00:44:54.400
So anyways, I love Blade Runner, I love I love
843
00:44:54.480 --> 00:44:58.599
Citizen Kane. I really like what they did with the
844
00:44:58.760 --> 00:45:03.000
raising Arizona, the comedy, but also the camera work.
845
00:45:03.679 --> 00:45:05.679
So you look at the camera work. That's your thing.
846
00:45:05.960 --> 00:45:08.960
I look at everything really Unfortunately it's a curse. So
847
00:45:10.039 --> 00:45:12.360
as a director, as a guy that's been in like
848
00:45:12.519 --> 00:45:13.920
fifty movies.
849
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:17.119
You can't help it. Like see how it's shot.
850
00:45:17.280 --> 00:45:20.400
Oh, I watch a movie and I look at the
851
00:45:20.440 --> 00:45:24.719
texture on the wall, like you can't see it on camera,
852
00:45:24.760 --> 00:45:27.159
but here we have a stuck a wall, or if
853
00:45:27.159 --> 00:45:30.360
we're in a cave or there's a rock background, I
854
00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:33.320
will look at the texture of the rock to determine
855
00:45:33.320 --> 00:45:36.400
if it's real rock or if it's if it's imitation.
856
00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:40.559
I will look at the paint to see if the
857
00:45:40.639 --> 00:45:45.079
prop guys built a wall and aged it or it's actual,
858
00:45:45.239 --> 00:45:47.960
real peeling paint. And I'm not always right, but a
859
00:45:47.960 --> 00:45:49.519
lot of time I look at everyone.
860
00:45:49.679 --> 00:45:52.119
You look at the details, right, Todd Phillips, is that
861
00:45:52.159 --> 00:45:55.199
way we were shooting something? Todd Phillips, the guy wrote
862
00:45:55.199 --> 00:45:57.760
and directed Hanger one, two three, The Joker. He's amazing
863
00:45:58.280 --> 00:46:00.719
and and and he's I think one of the filmmakers
864
00:46:00.719 --> 00:46:03.239
and we were doing a commercial, and I was, I
865
00:46:03.280 --> 00:46:06.199
had a little more scruff than like I had like
866
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:09.079
maybe the day before, but tiny bit. And I said,
867
00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:11.519
and I said, if people are looking at that, then
868
00:46:11.559 --> 00:46:14.719
we've I just regurgitate some bullshit line, which is, well,
869
00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:16.920
people are paying attention to that, then we're really fucked,
870
00:46:17.079 --> 00:46:20.760
you know. Then he goes, I hate when people say that.
871
00:46:21.239 --> 00:46:24.599
He's like, I hate when people say that, Like, the
872
00:46:24.639 --> 00:46:27.679
difference is in the details, and if you don't pay
873
00:46:27.719 --> 00:46:31.400
attention to every detail you you were, you are not
874
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:34.440
working in a capacity of excellence.
875
00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:37.159
Well, I'll tell you, when you have a three hundred
876
00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:40.440
million dollar budget and four months to shoot a movie,
877
00:46:40.960 --> 00:46:44.239
you can have that luxury. Yeah, when you're shooting Wingman
878
00:46:44.679 --> 00:46:47.599
a feature film, and you have fifteen days, my god,
879
00:46:47.599 --> 00:46:50.519
and you're going to four to five locations a day,
880
00:46:50.679 --> 00:46:53.599
oh my god, and instead of shooting two pages a day,
881
00:46:53.599 --> 00:46:55.880
you're shooting nine to fourteen pages.
882
00:46:55.880 --> 00:46:56.519
Insane.
883
00:46:57.320 --> 00:47:00.519
There's times where even my own hair I knew it
884
00:47:00.599 --> 00:47:02.559
was out of done. I go, you know what, I
885
00:47:03.119 --> 00:47:07.360
don't even have time to move that pro like it
886
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:10.360
was so insane the time.
887
00:47:10.199 --> 00:47:12.039
So was that gonna drive you crazy when you watch it?
888
00:47:12.360 --> 00:47:15.039
Because I know I did the best I could, and
889
00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:17.800
it's here and there. There's little details where I can
890
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:19.719
see it, like I'll be in a scene and my
891
00:47:19.880 --> 00:47:22.880
hair is parted this way, and then you know a
892
00:47:22.920 --> 00:47:25.719
few cuts later it's like that way a little and
893
00:47:25.760 --> 00:47:28.320
you're right. I think most people won't pick up on it,
894
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:32.440
but I certainly saw. But I look at the monumental
895
00:47:33.039 --> 00:47:36.599
mountain I had to scale every day just to make
896
00:47:36.639 --> 00:47:39.079
my day, and I'll live with it. Yeah, what I'm
897
00:47:39.119 --> 00:47:41.159
happy about is that we got the scene, we got
898
00:47:41.199 --> 00:47:44.000
the comedy, we got the lighting. I can cut a
899
00:47:44.039 --> 00:47:47.920
movie together. I'm not gonna die because there's a hair
900
00:47:47.960 --> 00:47:51.159
out of place. But if I had three months and
901
00:47:51.239 --> 00:47:54.840
I had a full like Hollywood crew from a studio,
902
00:47:55.480 --> 00:47:59.079
then he's right, you should pay attention to all that stuff.
903
00:47:59.119 --> 00:48:03.000
But I've seen huge movies like Oppenheimer. You know that
904
00:48:03.159 --> 00:48:05.840
was a huge movie. And there's a scene in that
905
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:10.239
movie where and this is how detail oriented I am.
906
00:48:10.519 --> 00:48:13.079
To put an example of what we were talking about,
907
00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:16.599
there's a scene where I think Robert Darny Junior walks
908
00:48:16.599 --> 00:48:20.960
out of a mansion and Albert Einstein's in the distant
909
00:48:21.000 --> 00:48:24.800
at the edge of a lake, and as he's standing
910
00:48:24.840 --> 00:48:26.400
at the lake, I guess they thought it would be
911
00:48:26.480 --> 00:48:29.280
quirky that the wind came and blew his little hat off.
912
00:48:30.039 --> 00:48:32.480
And if you look at the trajectory of the hat,
913
00:48:33.079 --> 00:48:37.119
you can clearly see that it's nothing that wind would do.
914
00:48:37.199 --> 00:48:41.000
It looks quirky and jumpy, like a string pulled it
915
00:48:41.039 --> 00:48:44.079
off or something. But the average person would pick up
916
00:48:44.119 --> 00:48:47.519
on that. And then I just recally recently watched Meet
917
00:48:47.559 --> 00:48:51.239
Mister Black, that that Anthony Hopkins Brad Pitt movie.
918
00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:53.719
I remember.
919
00:48:55.559 --> 00:48:57.880
It's okay, it's it's it's got its moments, but there's
920
00:48:57.880 --> 00:48:59.840
a there's a moment at the end where there see
921
00:49:00.079 --> 00:49:02.679
him and Joe Black, just before Joe takes him. At
922
00:49:02.719 --> 00:49:07.199
the end, they're they're standing at the mansion watching the fireworks,
923
00:49:08.239 --> 00:49:11.800
and there's this they're just standing there and on the
924
00:49:11.840 --> 00:49:15.639
front view, Anthony Hopkins is holding up a coffee and
925
00:49:15.639 --> 00:49:17.599
then they cut right to the back and both his
926
00:49:17.719 --> 00:49:18.440
hands are down.
927
00:49:18.559 --> 00:49:22.360
Oh damn, like I see, Well, you know you'll love this.
928
00:49:22.440 --> 00:49:25.119
And so Patty Jenkins, who wrote and directed the movie
929
00:49:25.159 --> 00:49:28.280
Monster with Charlie's Thrown Great Movie and I mean when
930
00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:31.719
she got that movie, she was a nobody knew her.
931
00:49:32.079 --> 00:49:34.719
And Charlie's thrown signed on to do the movie. But
932
00:49:35.519 --> 00:49:37.360
I remember when they said, we have the money and
933
00:49:37.360 --> 00:49:40.239
we're gonna shoot it in Vancouver, and she said no
934
00:49:40.320 --> 00:49:44.840
because Eileen Warnis did it in South Florida and so
935
00:49:44.840 --> 00:49:47.719
so so I remember she said. They said, well, it
936
00:49:47.760 --> 00:49:50.079
doesn't matter, and she goes, well, why why don't you
937
00:49:50.119 --> 00:49:52.199
want to shoot it in who we can make it
938
00:49:52.239 --> 00:49:54.880
look like Florida. She goes, because the light's different. It
939
00:49:54.960 --> 00:49:57.280
is and she said they were like what and she goes.
940
00:49:57.760 --> 00:50:00.639
He goes, people won't notice, and she said something really brilliant.
941
00:50:00.679 --> 00:50:06.079
She said, they won't think they notice, but they will
942
00:50:06.119 --> 00:50:11.079
subconsciously notice, and it'll change the entire movie. You need
943
00:50:11.239 --> 00:50:15.159
tropical light, you need sticky air, you need southern Florida.
944
00:50:15.719 --> 00:50:17.239
It happened in Southern Florida.
945
00:50:17.280 --> 00:50:19.679
Man, Well, you know what you need, almost more than anything,
946
00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:23.239
is the foliage. Yes, so many movies in a shot
947
00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:27.519
of Vancouver. Yeah, go outside and it's pine trees and
948
00:50:27.559 --> 00:50:31.480
evergreen does and it's the wrong shrubbery and so all
949
00:50:31.559 --> 00:50:34.280
this stuff is very accurate. So for her to shoot
950
00:50:34.320 --> 00:50:38.039
in Florida. It was the right move. And I could
951
00:50:38.079 --> 00:50:41.280
feel Florida all through that movie, not just because of
952
00:50:41.320 --> 00:50:44.039
the sky and the light, but the mini malls and
953
00:50:44.079 --> 00:50:47.679
the scenery and the palm trees. So sometimes you gotta
954
00:50:47.719 --> 00:50:52.400
be real careful with that. With Wingman, we had no choice.
955
00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:55.000
We had to shoot in a small lumber town in
956
00:50:55.159 --> 00:50:58.599
northern Canada, and I had to make that look like
957
00:50:58.679 --> 00:51:03.320
New York, Like yeah, so so, and I think I
958
00:51:03.480 --> 00:51:05.679
sort of pulled it off a little and probably wrecking
959
00:51:05.679 --> 00:51:09.239
it now by telling it, but but man, it's a
960
00:51:09.239 --> 00:51:12.440
big part of the process. As you know, did you
961
00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:13.480
love doing the Joker?
962
00:51:14.159 --> 00:51:16.039
Yeah, because I knew I wasn't going to be in
963
00:51:16.079 --> 00:51:18.920
the movie. Like within three days, I was in this
964
00:51:19.199 --> 00:51:23.679
uh this this old carpet factory and we shot it
965
00:51:23.719 --> 00:51:25.679
and and and I was in the room with Joaquin
966
00:51:25.760 --> 00:51:29.480
Phoenix for five days and watching the way that guy worked.
967
00:51:29.480 --> 00:51:31.880
And I also could see I was like, we're I
968
00:51:31.920 --> 00:51:34.159
was playing this washed up stripper who kind of like
969
00:51:34.199 --> 00:51:37.039
gets sold for the by the hour by this agency.
970
00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:39.639
And so I had this wig on and you know
971
00:51:39.719 --> 00:51:42.360
and all that, and I remember it was a big
972
00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:45.480
deal to get that part. But I looked at Todd Phillips,
973
00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:46.679
and I said, I'm not going to be in this
974
00:51:46.760 --> 00:51:49.159
movie because I knew the way it was being shot.
975
00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:50.880
I was like, I'm not going to make it to
976
00:51:50.920 --> 00:51:53.679
this movie. And he started laughing. He goes no, and
977
00:51:53.719 --> 00:51:55.880
I go, no, don't bullshit me. I know it because
978
00:51:56.840 --> 00:51:59.000
it really whata Quin Phoenix had to be in every scene,
979
00:51:59.239 --> 00:52:01.400
and I knew that I wasn't pushing I knew that
980
00:52:01.519 --> 00:52:05.400
our scenes and our improv wasn't pushing the story forward.
981
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:08.559
That the problem with getting comedians and improv people in
982
00:52:08.599 --> 00:52:11.480
a movie is they're not aware that you if your
983
00:52:11.480 --> 00:52:15.360
improv means nothing unless it's moving the story forward. It
984
00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:17.800
doesn't matter you're having your own little sketch over here.
985
00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:21.639
It's it can't just be funny. It's a little bit like,
986
00:52:21.760 --> 00:52:23.880
you know, almost like stand up. Like there's a difference
987
00:52:23.880 --> 00:52:27.079
sometimes between being thematic with an hour, not that anybody
988
00:52:27.159 --> 00:52:29.920
watches an hour anymore. But my next special and I'm
989
00:52:29.960 --> 00:52:32.599
about to drop is I worked so hard at making
990
00:52:32.639 --> 00:52:36.119
it thematic, and if this was the eighties or nineties,
991
00:52:36.280 --> 00:52:39.480
people would sit through it. But now now they tell
992
00:52:39.480 --> 00:52:41.639
you just clip it up, and it's like clip it up,
993
00:52:42.159 --> 00:52:45.800
like it's all context, man, it's all it's all a story,
994
00:52:46.119 --> 00:52:48.480
it's a theme. So you take obviously you take. I
995
00:52:48.480 --> 00:52:51.039
didn't know you took films so seriously. And it's interesting
996
00:52:51.119 --> 00:52:55.119
because you are a comic comic and for those of
997
00:52:55.119 --> 00:52:58.440
you who don't know Harlan, you've been performing on such
998
00:52:58.519 --> 00:53:02.519
a high level as a comic. You are truly one
999
00:53:02.519 --> 00:53:06.000
of the best comics period. But it's true I could
1000
00:53:06.039 --> 00:53:10.199
put you, I mean to me, but I put you
1001
00:53:10.280 --> 00:53:13.440
on the same level. Well, you know, listen, I appreciate
1002
00:53:13.480 --> 00:53:16.880
that because putting you in a lineup. So if there
1003
00:53:16.920 --> 00:53:20.440
was Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle, Joe Rogan, just give me
1004
00:53:20.480 --> 00:53:24.480
anybody you want. Harlan Williams belongs in that lineup with
1005
00:53:24.559 --> 00:53:27.559
no problem. And everybody's put on notice. This isn't blowing
1006
00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:29.920
smoke up your ass. This is something everybody would agree with.
1007
00:53:30.119 --> 00:53:32.480
There's never been a time when you have you've taken
1008
00:53:32.519 --> 00:53:36.280
the stage and not made everybody laugh really hard all
1009
00:53:36.360 --> 00:53:39.840
the time. And so you seem to keep doing that.
1010
00:53:39.920 --> 00:53:42.079
And you've been doing that for the twenty years I've
1011
00:53:42.079 --> 00:53:46.280
known you, uh, and and it hasn't waned. So so
1012
00:53:46.519 --> 00:53:48.800
what is your process for doing that? Like do you
1013
00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:50.320
ever get to a point where you're like, damn, I
1014
00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:52.440
don't know if I'm gonna be able to do this again.
1015
00:53:53.199 --> 00:53:56.719
My processes, there is no process. I don't look at
1016
00:53:57.119 --> 00:54:00.920
comedy technically. I look at it as a spirit that
1017
00:54:01.239 --> 00:54:04.880
flows through me. And so I just know, as long
1018
00:54:04.920 --> 00:54:08.119
as there's air moving and there's energy in the world,
1019
00:54:10.440 --> 00:54:13.119
I was born with this flow that goes through me.
1020
00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:13.960
A channel.
1021
00:54:14.360 --> 00:54:17.480
Yeah, I'm just a conduit. Yeah, And so I look
1022
00:54:17.519 --> 00:54:20.920
at my vessel as a conduit and I let it,
1023
00:54:21.199 --> 00:54:24.039
the spirit of it pass out and hopefully it makes
1024
00:54:24.119 --> 00:54:27.360
people laugh. And I think, as long as the universe
1025
00:54:27.440 --> 00:54:30.159
is channeling, I never I've never written a joke down
1026
00:54:30.239 --> 00:54:33.199
in my life. What I love about the spirit flow
1027
00:54:33.239 --> 00:54:36.000
of comedy is it it pulls you along. It's almost
1028
00:54:36.039 --> 00:54:38.639
like being a writer and not having the end of
1029
00:54:38.679 --> 00:54:41.800
the plot, but you know, you know the bullet points,
1030
00:54:41.840 --> 00:54:44.119
and then you let it sort of take you and
1031
00:54:44.159 --> 00:54:48.320
fill it in, and it's really it's magical, and it
1032
00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:50.280
it what it does for me. Sorry I mean to
1033
00:54:50.360 --> 00:54:54.360
endure up, but for me, it it lets me be
1034
00:54:54.719 --> 00:54:58.440
entertained while I'm entertaining because I don't know the end
1035
00:54:58.480 --> 00:55:00.280
of the story, and a lot of times I don't
1036
00:55:00.280 --> 00:55:02.960
know the end of the joke, but I rely on
1037
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:05.960
the comedy spirit flow to get me there.
1038
00:55:06.760 --> 00:55:10.119
You know Flannetrea O'Connor, she's a great writer, and she said,
1039
00:55:10.119 --> 00:55:12.440
I sit in my typewriter every morning, not to write,
1040
00:55:12.440 --> 00:55:15.400
but in case something happens. I think this is the
1041
00:55:15.440 --> 00:55:18.320
same thing with stand up, Like I'll just keep showing up,
1042
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:20.719
and I'm like, well, i'll see in six months it's
1043
00:55:20.760 --> 00:55:22.079
gonna be good. Yeah.
1044
00:55:22.119 --> 00:55:25.239
And what's interesting that tells me it's true to the flow.
1045
00:55:25.360 --> 00:55:28.280
I don't know if this happens with you, but sometimes
1046
00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:31.639
I show up and I could be in a real jovial,
1047
00:55:31.880 --> 00:55:32.639
silly mood.
1048
00:55:32.840 --> 00:55:33.079
Yeah.
1049
00:55:33.159 --> 00:55:35.000
Or sometimes I'll show up and I've had the worst
1050
00:55:35.039 --> 00:55:38.159
day and I'm completely depressed, or maybe I'm somewhere in
1051
00:55:38.199 --> 00:55:42.320
the middle. But the flow, regardless of the energy or
1052
00:55:42.320 --> 00:55:46.079
the state of mind I'm in, the flow takes whatever
1053
00:55:46.159 --> 00:55:49.880
I have and extrapolates it and brings it and creates
1054
00:55:49.920 --> 00:55:53.599
the granola bar that you feed the audience. It's very strange.
1055
00:55:53.639 --> 00:55:56.480
That is so strange and so true. It's like it's
1056
00:55:56.480 --> 00:55:59.320
a spirit. Yeah, it's a spirit. And for me, a
1057
00:55:59.360 --> 00:56:03.000
lot of times I if I'm having a really bad day.
1058
00:56:03.360 --> 00:56:07.119
If I'm really depressed or have some anxiety, that's a
1059
00:56:07.360 --> 00:56:09.840
very good thing for my comedy. I would I would
1060
00:56:09.880 --> 00:56:12.280
even suggest if I have a lump in my throat,
1061
00:56:12.679 --> 00:56:14.480
you better be careful because it's gonna be a good show.
1062
00:56:14.679 --> 00:56:14.840
You know.
1063
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:18.760
Well, that's what's fascinating to me, because you know, everything
1064
00:56:18.800 --> 00:56:22.199
would indicate because of maybe you're in a dark mood,
1065
00:56:22.440 --> 00:56:26.599
or I would say, maybe enough feeling funny mood. I've
1066
00:56:26.639 --> 00:56:28.639
had times where I don't even want to go up.
1067
00:56:28.800 --> 00:56:29.599
I'm not there.
1068
00:56:29.679 --> 00:56:33.719
I feel I'm no energy, old friend, or and then
1069
00:56:33.760 --> 00:56:38.079
I go up and I let that energy create the
1070
00:56:38.119 --> 00:56:39.880
mood for the show. And I've had some of my
1071
00:56:39.920 --> 00:56:43.239
most amazing shows when I've been down here instead of
1072
00:56:43.320 --> 00:56:46.639
up here. And so I've just learned, over the decades
1073
00:56:46.679 --> 00:56:49.719
of doing this to just put total faith in it,
1074
00:56:49.840 --> 00:56:54.639
walk through that curtain, and I go, Spirit take me
1075
00:56:54.719 --> 00:56:55.559
where I need to go.
1076
00:56:57.360 --> 00:56:59.639
Yeah, it's like a magic carpet ride, you know.
1077
00:57:00.119 --> 00:57:02.800
And that way, I'm having fun too, because it's it's
1078
00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:05.400
a mystery to me. You know, It's like suddenly I'm
1079
00:57:05.480 --> 00:57:08.559
Nancy Drew solving a comedy mystery. You know.
1080
00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:12.159
That's the one constant in my life. It's the one thing.
1081
00:57:12.400 --> 00:57:15.280
I think it was you two, but it's the one
1082
00:57:15.519 --> 00:57:18.920
constant that I can rely on the spirit of comedy.
1083
00:57:19.039 --> 00:57:23.199
I know that no matter what. You know. Fiona Apple
1084
00:57:23.239 --> 00:57:26.880
said that to me once. Really, she said music. She
1085
00:57:26.960 --> 00:57:29.280
was getting involved in this charity. Yeah, she said, do
1086
00:57:29.440 --> 00:57:31.519
music is such a genius. She goes, music will always
1087
00:57:31.559 --> 00:57:35.159
be there, you know. She goes, I I and I said, well,
1088
00:57:35.159 --> 00:57:37.760
how do you write? She goes, she says, sometimes I'll
1089
00:57:37.800 --> 00:57:40.280
write a song in five minutes, you know. Sometime as
1090
00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:42.960
I I'll just like one time I saw her. She
1091
00:57:43.039 --> 00:57:44.519
was kind of had her hands classed and she was
1092
00:57:44.559 --> 00:57:46.079
kind of hunched over in the middle of the room,
1093
00:57:46.079 --> 00:57:47.000
and I go, what are you doing? She goes, I
1094
00:57:47.000 --> 00:57:50.400
think a song's coming. Oh wow, damn. And then she said,
1095
00:57:50.400 --> 00:57:52.360
sometimes the song will take me five years to write.
1096
00:57:52.800 --> 00:57:55.079
You know. She was really depressed because she was going
1097
00:57:55.119 --> 00:57:57.400
through a breakup and she saw a paper bag out
1098
00:57:57.400 --> 00:57:58.760
of the corner of her eyes. Well, she thought it
1099
00:57:58.800 --> 00:58:00.639
was a bird flying and it turned out to be
1100
00:58:00.719 --> 00:58:03.119
a paper bag in the wind. She goes, there's my
1101
00:58:03.159 --> 00:58:05.960
life right there. And then she wrote this song paper Bag, so.
1102
00:58:06.280 --> 00:58:09.039
Wow, you know, Fiona Apple said to me once what
1103
00:58:09.199 --> 00:58:09.679
bite me?
1104
00:58:10.039 --> 00:58:13.280
Okay, yeah, yeah, were you dressed like an apple?
1105
00:58:13.480 --> 00:58:14.440
No, she's an apple.
1106
00:58:15.880 --> 00:58:18.000
Apple. I thought maybe you were. She was dressed like
1107
00:58:18.039 --> 00:58:18.440
an apple.
1108
00:58:18.760 --> 00:58:21.079
No, she is an apple, she said, bite me.
1109
00:58:21.400 --> 00:58:24.000
Yeah. See how I switched around though, how.
1110
00:58:24.280 --> 00:58:26.519
It didn't work the way you did it. I think
1111
00:58:26.559 --> 00:58:28.519
your flows off. Do you need some DRAINO.
1112
00:58:29.000 --> 00:58:31.639
It's a little off right now, it's a little off. Yeah,
1113
00:58:31.719 --> 00:58:34.960
it's a little off. But this has been a very
1114
00:58:35.119 --> 00:58:39.400
substanti conversation it has. Yeah, I like that. I like that.
1115
00:58:40.079 --> 00:58:42.519
I like that you are and and do you see
1116
00:58:42.679 --> 00:58:44.639
is there any endgame? Or are you going to do
1117
00:58:44.679 --> 00:58:47.079
this until you die? Do you think you'll ever stop doing?
1118
00:58:47.119 --> 00:58:47.559
Stand up?
1119
00:58:49.199 --> 00:58:55.079
Well, my hope is that I die instantly in the
1120
00:58:55.119 --> 00:58:58.920
middle of sexual intercourse. Okay, I don't want to die
1121
00:58:59.039 --> 00:59:01.480
in a hospital. I don't want a disease. I'd be
1122
00:59:01.679 --> 00:59:05.079
happy to have a major heart attack in the middle
1123
00:59:05.119 --> 00:59:08.280
of sexual inder won't be fun for my partner, yeah,
1124
00:59:08.320 --> 00:59:10.320
but that's I think that'd be the best way to
1125
00:59:10.360 --> 00:59:11.039
go out. Ever.
1126
00:59:11.239 --> 00:59:13.639
I agree with you. I know what you think about
1127
00:59:13.719 --> 00:59:14.079
the end.
1128
00:59:14.199 --> 00:59:18.920
I just think about having beautiful sex at the edge
1129
00:59:18.960 --> 00:59:22.840
of a beach, or in a hot air balloon or at.
1130
00:59:22.800 --> 00:59:26.519
Arby's my best friend, Arby's my best friend's dad. My
1131
00:59:26.559 --> 00:59:29.320
best friend's dad died in the best way possible. What
1132
00:59:29.599 --> 00:59:33.000
He was eighty five or eighty four. He was playing
1133
00:59:33.039 --> 00:59:37.800
pick up basketball with his son, his nephew, his grandchildren
1134
00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:40.320
were watching. It was on Saint Patty's Day and he's
1135
00:59:40.320 --> 00:59:45.280
one hundredercent Irish and all his friends were upstairs and
1136
00:59:45.320 --> 00:59:47.400
he had just been with all of them because they
1137
00:59:47.400 --> 00:59:51.719
were going to do a sort of a No he
1138
00:59:51.880 --> 00:59:54.960
was not. It was a family reunion and he's playing
1139
00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:58.719
full court basketball with his son and everybody was there.
1140
00:59:58.760 --> 01:00:00.280
His whole family was there that day. He so his
1141
01:00:00.280 --> 01:00:03.880
whole family for Saint Patty's Day. It was already awake
1142
01:00:04.440 --> 01:00:06.519
and they're playing basketball at the n y a C.
1143
01:00:07.360 --> 01:00:09.800
And he went like this. He looked at his son
1144
01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:12.719
and he goes hold it, and his son goes what's up?
1145
01:00:12.719 --> 01:00:16.360
And he just fell down and died right there. Yeah, right,
1146
01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:18.440
and like his nephew's dad, son is there, you know.
1147
01:00:18.519 --> 01:00:22.000
But I mean, what a way to go near sexual
1148
01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:24.719
intercourt full court basketball, bro.
1149
01:00:25.199 --> 01:00:28.440
But families are annoying. You want to be like looking
1150
01:00:28.480 --> 01:00:30.679
in rakel Welch's eyes.
1151
01:00:31.039 --> 01:00:38.679
Yeah, and yes that'd be fun, sister. But yeah, I
1152
01:00:38.719 --> 01:00:42.599
think how would you want to die? I think probably
1153
01:00:43.039 --> 01:00:48.159
the way I would like to die is is standing
1154
01:00:48.239 --> 01:00:54.480
for the truth and standing there alone with naught but
1155
01:00:54.599 --> 01:01:00.800
my broadsword or my katana, and having the Hordes, the
1156
01:01:00.840 --> 01:01:05.719
barbaric Hords on horseback, coming at me in a cloud
1157
01:01:05.719 --> 01:01:09.000
of dust, and I look at my friend and I
1158
01:01:09.039 --> 01:01:13.079
say something like this, Well we may see a little
1159
01:01:13.119 --> 01:01:18.360
sport yet today. Tell my wife I did, well.
1160
01:01:19.400 --> 01:01:21.039
Do you need some pringles? Dude?
1161
01:01:21.280 --> 01:01:23.679
No, dude, not When I'm about to go and I
1162
01:01:23.719 --> 01:01:28.000
pull my broadsword and I run, I run at that
1163
01:01:28.159 --> 01:01:32.360
army and that's all you see. You understand, dude, You
1164
01:01:32.360 --> 01:01:35.480
know what I'm talking about. You remember Point Break, the
1165
01:01:35.519 --> 01:01:41.599
first one where Patrick Swayze decided to surf that tsunami
1166
01:01:41.639 --> 01:01:44.760
like wave knowing that he wasn't going to survive. That's
1167
01:01:44.800 --> 01:01:47.519
the way you go out, bro, all right. You go
1168
01:01:47.599 --> 01:01:50.719
out and you meet that army halfway and you're out numbered.
1169
01:01:51.039 --> 01:01:53.480
You know you can't win, But what matters that you
1170
01:01:53.519 --> 01:01:56.199
made a stand. Yeah, and you came at it with
1171
01:01:56.239 --> 01:01:57.000
your eyes open.
1172
01:01:57.280 --> 01:01:58.599
You decide when you go.
1173
01:02:00.400 --> 01:02:04.559
You decide. Now, The truth is, I'm probably not that guy.
1174
01:02:05.800 --> 01:02:08.920
The truth is I'm probably not the hero I've always
1175
01:02:08.920 --> 01:02:09.360
wanted to be.
1176
01:02:10.440 --> 01:02:11.400
Sorry any of us.
1177
01:02:12.079 --> 01:02:13.920
Well, that's a good question, right.
1178
01:02:14.079 --> 01:02:17.000
It's hard to be because death can be unexpected. You
1179
01:02:17.079 --> 01:02:18.880
can't implan it. So that's why I used to just
1180
01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:23.199
have sexual intercourse every day. Yeah, and hopefully the odds
1181
01:02:23.239 --> 01:02:25.119
are you die on top of your lover.
1182
01:02:25.360 --> 01:02:27.119
That's one good way of looking at it. Because the
1183
01:02:27.159 --> 01:02:31.639
idea of trying to be you know, the idea of heroes, heroism, courage,
1184
01:02:32.559 --> 01:02:35.599
you know, even intelligence, all that stuff is compartmentalized. Right, So,
1185
01:02:35.800 --> 01:02:38.320
like I've never quite believed. I don't like talking about
1186
01:02:38.360 --> 01:02:41.519
things like I don't like taking credit for, for example,
1187
01:02:41.559 --> 01:02:44.840
even my own success or hard work or you know, well,
1188
01:02:44.880 --> 01:02:48.000
you're brave. Somebody said to me, you have good you
1189
01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:50.239
have fortitude, you know, and it was a nice compliment
1190
01:02:50.599 --> 01:02:54.039
and I and I said, that's very dangerous to take
1191
01:02:54.159 --> 01:02:58.159
in seriously and to take some pride in because I
1192
01:02:58.239 --> 01:03:01.800
don't know to what degree anything I've ever done is
1193
01:03:01.840 --> 01:03:04.760
a credit to the way I'm wired. I've got a
1194
01:03:04.760 --> 01:03:06.800
lot of liabilities. I got way more liabilities than I
1195
01:03:06.840 --> 01:03:10.159
have strengths anyway, But you know what I mean. You
1196
01:03:10.159 --> 01:03:11.960
ever feel that way where you're just like, I don't
1197
01:03:11.960 --> 01:03:13.800
want to take credit for any of that stuff, and
1198
01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:16.760
certainly not bravery. What do you mean bravery. I'm brave
1199
01:03:16.840 --> 01:03:18.960
on stage because I know how to navigate that space,
1200
01:03:19.079 --> 01:03:20.599
you know what, I'm not brave in the middle of
1201
01:03:20.599 --> 01:03:23.239
the ocean at night. I'm gonna be crying like a baby.
1202
01:03:23.239 --> 01:03:26.000
Oh see, I don't do that. I'm brave at all times.
1203
01:03:26.000 --> 01:03:26.599
Oh you are?
1204
01:03:27.159 --> 01:03:27.599
Oh yeah?
1205
01:03:27.679 --> 01:03:28.199
Oh wow?
1206
01:03:28.400 --> 01:03:31.360
Okay, So I'll get lost in an ocean and I'll
1207
01:03:32.360 --> 01:03:35.320
I'll punch it endangered seat turtle right in the fat face.
1208
01:03:37.159 --> 01:03:39.960
I don't care. I'm brave, dude. Yeah, I'll kick a
1209
01:03:40.079 --> 01:03:41.559
manatee right in the ovaries.
1210
01:03:41.599 --> 01:03:44.320
Okay, those are not the most threatening animals, though.
1211
01:03:44.559 --> 01:03:47.440
I'll punch a hammer head shark right in the hammer
1212
01:03:47.719 --> 01:03:50.239
in the hammer yeah, or in the head.
1213
01:03:50.639 --> 01:03:53.079
Yeah. What do you do for your hair? Because you
1214
01:03:53.159 --> 01:03:56.039
haven't lost a stitch of it. You may not have
1215
01:03:56.079 --> 01:03:58.840
a chin, but you've got to. It's what Elvis would
1216
01:03:58.880 --> 01:04:02.079
have if he had lived past the age of sixty.
1217
01:04:03.119 --> 01:04:05.920
I think it's just I have intercourse every day and
1218
01:04:05.960 --> 01:04:08.119
it keeps me fresh.
1219
01:04:09.119 --> 01:04:10.880
So you're a real Tomcat in the sack.
1220
01:04:11.159 --> 01:04:13.599
Yeah, like a wolverine.
1221
01:04:14.119 --> 01:04:16.719
Is the to you the most beautiful woman? Is there
1222
01:04:16.760 --> 01:04:18.840
a woman in Hollywood? Is there a woman out there that,
1223
01:04:19.360 --> 01:04:22.280
to you is? It's like I always say, my friend
1224
01:04:22.320 --> 01:04:24.639
said about this girl, He goes, I would move her
1225
01:04:24.639 --> 01:04:26.679
into my house. And I don't know her. I don't
1226
01:04:26.679 --> 01:04:28.800
know her right now. I'd move her into my house,
1227
01:04:30.400 --> 01:04:32.239
you know, he said, he said, he said, he said.
1228
01:04:32.480 --> 01:04:34.800
My friend said, she's a nine. I started raiding her
1229
01:04:34.800 --> 01:04:37.159
from a one scow one. My friend said a nine
1230
01:04:37.920 --> 01:04:39.639
to find that. He goes really hot. He goes, No,
1231
01:04:39.800 --> 01:04:41.400
nine is a girl you don't know that well that
1232
01:04:41.440 --> 01:04:44.000
you'll move into your house? And I was like, that's
1233
01:04:44.000 --> 01:04:45.079
an interesting way of putting it.
1234
01:04:45.719 --> 01:04:49.400
I'd say, Crystal Gale, the country singer.
1235
01:04:50.039 --> 01:04:52.400
Really, yeah, bring her up. I don't know who she is.
1236
01:04:53.360 --> 01:04:55.639
Crystal, don'tut make my brown eyes blue?
1237
01:04:56.079 --> 01:04:56.480
Oh?
1238
01:04:56.559 --> 01:04:59.440
Do you ever hear that sound? She has hair down
1239
01:04:59.480 --> 01:05:03.360
to her really, and it'd be like sort of a
1240
01:05:03.599 --> 01:05:08.800
mix of a lover and cousin it.
1241
01:05:07.599 --> 01:05:13.079
Crystal Gail, Yeah, oh yeah, older, which I really appreciate. Yeah.
1242
01:05:13.079 --> 01:05:15.760
I think she's about eighty seven now.
1243
01:05:15.800 --> 01:05:19.440
Okay, But when she was younger, I can't I get it?
1244
01:05:20.119 --> 01:05:21.639
She have any Native American there?
1245
01:05:22.400 --> 01:05:23.079
I hope not.
1246
01:05:23.280 --> 01:05:26.519
Boy, Crystal Gale, I'm right with you on that. I'm
1247
01:05:26.599 --> 01:05:30.119
right with Yeah. Yeah. You ever been with a woman
1248
01:05:30.119 --> 01:05:31.079
who has a shaved head?
1249
01:05:31.840 --> 01:05:34.400
Yeah? Sinnett O'Connor, the Irish girl.
1250
01:05:35.480 --> 01:05:37.639
Pardon me, did you guys have a timeshare? I can't
1251
01:05:37.679 --> 01:05:38.840
remember something like that.
1252
01:05:38.920 --> 01:05:42.599
Well, what's interesting is Sinneat O'Connor. She was a bald
1253
01:05:42.639 --> 01:05:46.480
Irish girl. Yeah, tortured soul and we did uh, we
1254
01:05:46.559 --> 01:05:49.679
did this role playing that she loved it. You know
1255
01:05:49.719 --> 01:05:53.559
if this story is true, well she's dead. You can't verify.
1256
01:05:54.000 --> 01:05:55.360
Well that's the problem, isn't it.
1257
01:05:56.199 --> 01:05:59.440
Well I only got my word. Yeah, but we did
1258
01:05:59.480 --> 01:06:01.840
this this role play where she used to it was
1259
01:06:01.920 --> 01:06:05.039
so fun, so kinky. She used to get me to
1260
01:06:05.079 --> 01:06:08.760
put baby powder on her bald head. And then she
1261
01:06:09.079 --> 01:06:12.840
loved to fantasize that she was a roll on deodorant stick.
1262
01:06:13.360 --> 01:06:15.840
And so I'd put her I'd rub her head around,
1263
01:06:16.280 --> 01:06:18.599
she'd have the baby powder. I'd rub her head around
1264
01:06:18.880 --> 01:06:21.599
under my dirty armpit. She'd make me go work in
1265
01:06:21.639 --> 01:06:26.360
the corn fields and I just rub my stinky pits field. Yeah,
1266
01:06:26.360 --> 01:06:29.360
and she her baby powdered covered head. Sometimes we do
1267
01:06:29.400 --> 01:06:30.039
whip cream.
1268
01:06:30.239 --> 01:06:35.519
Yeah, this is yeah. Yeah, well I appreciate the story,
1269
01:06:35.559 --> 01:06:38.480
but I think we're we're gonna have to wrap things up.
1270
01:06:39.079 --> 01:06:41.599
Is there anything else you want to talk about? Harlon Williams.
1271
01:06:42.280 --> 01:06:44.760
You did a great job with the acting, great job
1272
01:06:44.760 --> 01:06:48.079
with the singing. We talked about your favorite movies. We
1273
01:06:48.119 --> 01:06:50.920
only had three in there. We talked about the spirit
1274
01:06:51.000 --> 01:06:54.239
of comedy and and then you brought it to shand
1275
01:06:54.519 --> 01:06:55.960
so yeah.
1276
01:06:55.719 --> 01:07:00.239
I would just say maybe in closing, I'd do a
1277
01:07:00.239 --> 01:07:04.039
a podcast or I share my comedy The Harlan Highway.
1278
01:07:04.280 --> 01:07:06.840
You've been on it a few times.
1279
01:07:06.119 --> 01:07:10.519
The ever growing podcast Will you become? You're getting this
1280
01:07:10.599 --> 01:07:13.519
tone kill Tony thing. You've kind of like, you know,
1281
01:07:13.559 --> 01:07:17.199
you won best You won best Guess somebody should look
1282
01:07:17.239 --> 01:07:19.119
this up. Well, yeah, you guys want to. He won
1283
01:07:19.239 --> 01:07:21.599
Guests of the Year and they gave him a trophy,
1284
01:07:21.639 --> 01:07:24.519
but Harlan pulled out two trophies of his own.
1285
01:07:24.840 --> 01:07:26.360
I had oscars in my pants.
1286
01:07:26.360 --> 01:07:29.079
You had oscars in your pants, two of them. Yeah.
1287
01:07:29.960 --> 01:07:31.960
Well, you know, I don't want to cheesy, oh god
1288
01:07:32.119 --> 01:07:34.559
less kill Tony, but yeah, you know, if I'm going
1289
01:07:34.599 --> 01:07:37.599
to get an award. I want an Oscar. I love
1290
01:07:37.639 --> 01:07:40.719
the kill Tony Award. Don't get me wrong, but I
1291
01:07:40.719 --> 01:07:43.000
I'm up there to I'm going for the swinging for
1292
01:07:43.039 --> 01:07:43.360
the fan.
1293
01:07:43.400 --> 01:07:45.280
I want an Oscar. I don't want to double. I
1294
01:07:45.280 --> 01:07:47.239
want to know you feel I was forced.
1295
01:07:47.559 --> 01:07:50.719
No. I sat there for almost two hours with two
1296
01:07:50.760 --> 01:07:55.119
oscars down my pants. Yeah, and then when I got
1297
01:07:55.199 --> 01:07:58.119
up there, I pulled them out and it was Oscar night.
1298
01:07:58.440 --> 01:07:58.800
Yeah.
1299
01:07:59.000 --> 01:08:01.079
Yeah, thanks guy.
1300
01:08:01.199 --> 01:08:04.039
I know you'd like to win an Oscar someday I will.
1301
01:08:04.679 --> 01:08:06.159
What would you who would you think?
1302
01:08:07.320 --> 01:08:07.719
Probably?
1303
01:08:07.760 --> 01:08:10.159
God? Are you a religious guy?
1304
01:08:10.360 --> 01:08:13.679
I believe in God? Yeah, I'm not a I'm not
1305
01:08:13.880 --> 01:08:21.279
a a you know, religious like faith guy. Not that
1306
01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:26.000
I don't acknowledge those faiths. But my connectivity to God
1307
01:08:26.159 --> 01:08:30.439
is through nature and through the energy of the universe.
1308
01:08:31.319 --> 01:08:33.079
Do you pray or meditate?
1309
01:08:33.239 --> 01:08:37.199
Oh? Yeah you do. Praying is very powerful. Yes, yeah, pray.
1310
01:08:37.279 --> 01:08:41.359
I don't meditate, but I when I'm in nature, meditation
1311
01:08:41.640 --> 01:08:46.760
happens to me. I don't do writing, but yeah, just
1312
01:08:47.039 --> 01:08:48.760
so when you pray, Yeah.
1313
01:08:48.680 --> 01:08:51.720
You you give thanks, You ask for things.
1314
01:08:51.800 --> 01:08:56.439
I give thanks. I ask for things I I acknowledge.
1315
01:08:56.680 --> 01:09:00.680
I ask for love. I return love. I I pray
1316
01:09:00.760 --> 01:09:05.159
for my friends, I pray for all good things. Yeah,
1317
01:09:05.520 --> 01:09:06.479
it's I've always one.
1318
01:09:06.560 --> 01:09:09.000
I've always marveled at people that are hardcore atheists.
1319
01:09:10.079 --> 01:09:11.159
Yeah, I don't get it.
1320
01:09:11.279 --> 01:09:11.840
I don't either.
1321
01:09:12.520 --> 01:09:16.000
You got nothing to lose by praying. It's a free practice.
1322
01:09:16.680 --> 01:09:19.640
And even if you believe there's nothing there. But what
1323
01:09:19.680 --> 01:09:22.760
if there is something there, what have you got to lose?
1324
01:09:22.760 --> 01:09:26.560
If you're an atheist and you're suicidal, or you're broke,
1325
01:09:26.800 --> 01:09:29.359
or you don't have love in your life, or you're
1326
01:09:29.399 --> 01:09:32.760
just depressed. And someone said, you know, you could pray
1327
01:09:32.800 --> 01:09:37.840
for free, and prayer often works and usually does work. Well,
1328
01:09:37.880 --> 01:09:39.560
I don't believe, Well, why don't you just do it
1329
01:09:39.600 --> 01:09:42.600
for free? It's like doing a fart, you know, it's
1330
01:09:42.680 --> 01:09:45.000
just like you're just expelling it's.
1331
01:09:44.840 --> 01:09:48.600
Also it's also it's also a humble communion with something
1332
01:09:48.640 --> 01:09:52.359
that's greater than yourself. Right, And and there's something that
1333
01:09:52.399 --> 01:09:55.199
I find very refreshing about being of service.
1334
01:09:55.640 --> 01:10:01.640
Yes, it's it's beautiful to lay down and submit. It's
1335
01:10:01.680 --> 01:10:05.119
like a dog rolling over. You're submitting to the universe
1336
01:10:05.279 --> 01:10:09.520
that whatever gifts or non gifts or talents or skills
1337
01:10:09.520 --> 01:10:14.159
you've been given they're inconsequential to the bigger force that
1338
01:10:14.319 --> 01:10:17.520
exists that may or may not have created them, and
1339
01:10:17.560 --> 01:10:20.199
you're just lucky to be here and let them flow.
1340
01:10:21.159 --> 01:10:25.039
And so yeah, and I believe what you say. It's
1341
01:10:25.039 --> 01:10:28.600
it's actually there's beauty in laying down knowing you're a
1342
01:10:28.640 --> 01:10:34.159
strong person, but also submitting to things that are far
1343
01:10:34.239 --> 01:10:39.319
bigger and whatever we think we know, we don't know anything.
1344
01:10:39.920 --> 01:10:42.560
Yeah, And that that piggybacks too, saying I may be
1345
01:10:42.680 --> 01:10:45.640
a strong person, but I can be broken very easily.
1346
01:10:46.000 --> 01:10:47.119
Right, it's so delicate.
1347
01:10:47.279 --> 01:10:50.520
I'm not strong. The the there is again something that's
1348
01:10:50.640 --> 01:10:57.520
very freeing about submitting to the idea that I will
1349
01:10:57.560 --> 01:11:00.840
I will, I will receive the gifts and on gifts
1350
01:11:01.760 --> 01:11:04.520
as they come as in some ways for me, like
1351
01:11:04.560 --> 01:11:07.560
what helps is being the witness to that, experiencing it.
1352
01:11:08.279 --> 01:11:12.279
So I'm happy before anything happens, So I'm not I'm
1353
01:11:12.279 --> 01:11:18.640
not constantly lurching from craving and then avoidance and craving
1354
01:11:18.680 --> 01:11:21.439
and avoidance. Right, Like I want, I want, I want,
1355
01:11:21.479 --> 01:11:24.079
I want like And that is a trap that is
1356
01:11:24.119 --> 01:11:27.720
that everyone falls into everyone you know, And I try
1357
01:11:27.760 --> 01:11:29.920
to kind of like, I try to keep that into
1358
01:11:29.960 --> 01:11:32.199
context you know, I was thinking about this. You've had
1359
01:11:32.199 --> 01:11:35.680
the same thing I've had, the public embrace. I felt
1360
01:11:35.720 --> 01:11:37.800
what celebrities like. I felt what it is to be
1361
01:11:37.880 --> 01:11:40.000
and to have a lot of money and all those things.
1362
01:11:40.039 --> 01:11:42.239
I almost felt what it's like not to have those things. Yeah,
1363
01:11:42.279 --> 01:11:47.319
and again that's a sensation. One is a sensation of
1364
01:11:47.399 --> 01:11:51.359
I suppose safety, comfort, and the others a feeling of
1365
01:11:52.039 --> 01:11:53.960
some of the converse of that. Sometimes things happen in
1366
01:11:54.000 --> 01:11:56.640
your life like chaos, and then you have the opposite
1367
01:11:56.640 --> 01:11:59.279
of safety and comfort. But man, there are a lot
1368
01:11:59.319 --> 01:12:02.039
of gifts and discomfort. There are a lot of gifts
1369
01:12:02.079 --> 01:12:04.239
and uncertainty. It's an adventure.
1370
01:12:04.640 --> 01:12:07.319
It's an adventure, and there's a union to it. There's
1371
01:12:07.359 --> 01:12:12.600
a union to submitting, because what happens when you accept,
1372
01:12:13.000 --> 01:12:16.800
then you're by force have to give back or you
1373
01:12:16.880 --> 01:12:19.840
want to give back. Yeah, and so you don't necessarily
1374
01:12:20.199 --> 01:12:22.079
know what you're giving back, but you're giving back to
1375
01:12:22.119 --> 01:12:25.319
the world. And so when you roll over and let
1376
01:12:25.359 --> 01:12:28.880
the forces, you ask for help, you ask for prayer
1377
01:12:29.119 --> 01:12:32.560
and you take. It's like a relationship with your partner
1378
01:12:32.600 --> 01:12:35.680
or your children or your wife. You want to give back,
1379
01:12:36.239 --> 01:12:41.560
and so by receiving you just by default you give
1380
01:12:41.680 --> 01:12:45.800
back and so it's a constant flow, which makes it
1381
01:12:45.840 --> 01:12:48.960
beautiful to accept because then you give back as well.
1382
01:12:49.520 --> 01:12:52.359
What would you say to yourself now if you had
1383
01:12:52.399 --> 01:12:55.960
your twenty year old self in front of you in
1384
01:12:56.079 --> 01:12:58.680
terms of what would you give yourself any advice? Or
1385
01:12:59.000 --> 01:13:00.960
are you satisfied with where you've come?
1386
01:13:01.239 --> 01:13:06.800
No, my journey's been really it's been even keeled, it's been.
1387
01:13:07.000 --> 01:13:10.239
It's been. I feel like everything doled out when and
1388
01:13:10.279 --> 01:13:12.840
where and how it was supposed to do, even even
1389
01:13:12.920 --> 01:13:18.359
the lower moments were part of a really wonderful journey.
1390
01:13:18.720 --> 01:13:20.439
So I won't I won't alter it.
1391
01:13:20.600 --> 01:13:23.920
Yeah, a wise statement. Yeah, that's a wise that's a
1392
01:13:24.039 --> 01:13:28.800
wise uh and and wonderful conclusion to around, you know.
1393
01:13:29.359 --> 01:13:33.000
And I think really your life has culminated in this podcast.
1394
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:35.840
Not to say, but if you pass away right now,
1395
01:13:35.880 --> 01:13:38.399
if your heart goes, I can't take this anymore.
1396
01:13:38.760 --> 01:13:41.439
Yeah, this is like it's like I'm having sexual intercourse
1397
01:13:41.520 --> 01:13:42.479
right now, you.
1398
01:13:42.399 --> 01:13:46.680
Know what I mean. And it's like good night everybody. Huh.
1399
01:13:53.359 --> 01:13:56.720
And that's more my acting, that's what I do. Yeah,
1400
01:13:56.720 --> 01:14:00.600
that was a really convincing that scared me. My my
1401
01:14:00.880 --> 01:14:04.640
my pulse. That was really I thought you actually died there.
1402
01:14:05.119 --> 01:14:07.880
That was really good acting. We're gonna end on that note.
1403
01:14:08.239 --> 01:14:12.239
Thank you for sharing your talents and fake dying, which
1404
01:14:12.239 --> 01:14:14.520
didn't feel very fake just now it felt very real.
1405
01:14:14.960 --> 01:14:17.439
Thank you for telling us about movies about God. I
1406
01:14:17.520 --> 01:14:19.239
think we covered literally every base.
1407
01:14:19.319 --> 01:14:22.840
Can I share one last thing before we go? My
1408
01:14:22.960 --> 01:14:25.960
Pringles here? Friend, I have some Pringles?
1409
01:14:27.239 --> 01:14:28.600
Are you sponsored by Pringles?
1410
01:14:28.680 --> 01:14:28.760
No?
1411
01:14:28.880 --> 01:14:32.239
I'm just sharing my pringles? You want me to have one? Buddy?
1412
01:14:32.279 --> 01:14:36.760
So the cheese kind great? I love cheese. All right, guys,
1413
01:14:37.720 --> 01:14:40.000
this has been Brian Kellen, and this has been off limits,
1414
01:14:40.119 --> 01:14:43.279
and that was Harlan Williams. Wait, I don't want them
1415
01:14:43.279 --> 01:14:44.199
to know who I was
1416
01:14:46.000 --> 01:14:46.199
Challe