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Who really makes the philanthropic decisions in a household?
For fundraisers, the answer may not be nearly as obvious as we think.
In this episode of Mastering Fundraising, Chris Looney sits down with Deidre H. Sandvick, Senior Vice President for Development at the University of New Mexico Foundation, for a conversation about women in philanthropy, donor relationships, and the assumptions that can quietly undermine even the most experienced fundraisers.
Deidre shares a powerful story from her time at the University of Oregon involving a generous donor couple and a seven-figure gift that simply wasn't moving forward. The university had built a strong relationship with the husband, but had never developed the same relationship with his wife. When Deidre finally sat down with her, she discovered a critical piece of information that changed the entire strategy.
The lesson went far beyond one gift.
Deidre challenges fundraisers to recognize both partners as having agency in philanthropic decisions, stop treating spouses as "plus ones," and become much more intentional about understanding who influences a family's giving.
Throughout the conversation, she returns to one deceptively simple question that she regularly asks her own development teams:
"How do you know that?"
How do you know what a donor cares about? How do you know the spouse isn't interested? How do you know who makes the decision? Did the donor actually tell you, or did you fill in the gaps yourself?
Chris and Deidre also explore research on women's growing philanthropic influence, how fundraisers can better engage both members of a household, and why curiosity may be one of the most important skills in our profession.
The conversation echoes the research of the Women’s Philanthropy Institute at the Lilly Family School of Philanthropy and the work of Kathleen Loehr in Gender Matters: A Guide to Growing Women’s Philanthropy: gender influences giving, and fundraising practices need to evolve with the donors we serve.
Deidre's advice ultimately extends well beyond women in philanthropy:
Stay curious. Listen to people whose experiences differ from your own. And above all, don't assume.
