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Inside MDMA Therapy: My Real-Time Journey in a Clinical Trial is a first-person documentary podcast about MDMA therapy, PTSD, therapeutic relationships, safety, and what happens when the treatment protocol ends but integration continues.
In 2023, I took part in a clinical trial of MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD.
Before my first dose, I made a decision: I would document the experience as it happened.
I recorded conversations throughout the trial — before treatment, between each of my three MDMA sessions, and after it ended. They capture the hope, the breakthroughs, the uncertainty, and the parts of the experience I never expected.
Three years later, I went back to those recordings with Jackie, the woman who helped me document the journey, to understand what happened and what I have learned since.
This is the story as it unfolded.
