AITJs

susan: welcome back. How you doing, babe? Hello. Doing pretty good. Alrighty. Five minutes ago.
In-Person: Hello. I'm doing pretty good. Five minutes ago.
susan: Yeah, this is gonna be one of our episodes that was in the vault. So you won't see this or hear this unless we aren't feeling good and can't make an episode. So if you're hearing this, send us some prayers. You know, we're having a rough week. Yeah. So just keep us in your thoughts. So we don't really have a Braves update. Apologies for that. Yeah.
In-Person: Yeah, this is gonna be one of our episodes that was in the vault. So you won't see this or hear this unless we aren't feeling good and can't make an episode. So if you're hearing this, send us some prayers. You know, we're having a rough week. Yeah. So just keep us in your thoughts. So we don't really have a Braves update. Apologies for that. Yeah, 'cause it they're about to start their game here in five minutes against
susan: Yeah.
In-Person: the twins. So So and there's no new update from one re
susan: So and there's no new update from when we recorded our Betsy case. Our yeah, weekly our planned Yeah. So you just won't have football is starting up though. We can't say that. Football season of the NFL started this week, this past weekend and Thursday.
In-Person: Betsy case. Or yeah, our weekly our planned Yeah. So weekly one. We just want football is We can't say that. Yeah, preseason of the NFL started this week. This past weekend and Thursday Friday. So you'll get a lot of content.
susan: So you'll get football content whenever you're listening to this. Maybe you're listening to this happening for
In-Person: Fall scrimmages are happening for college. There was a co pro or there's a college sports act that came out which I think is pretty awesome with the changes that they are implementing back in the college. So excited for that.
susan: that came out, which I think pretty awesome with the changes that they are implementing back in the college. So excited for that.
In-Person: Alright. Let's get into it. I I really enjoy these. I do too. Okay. Okay. So two of these might resonate with you more than others. Just try to keep your mouth shut. All right. Okay.
susan: Alright. Alright, we're gonna do Am I the Jerk. We really I I really enjoy these. What do you do? Okay. E do two. Okay. So two of these might resonate with you more than others. Just try to keep your mouth shut. Alright. Okay. 'cause you'll you'll think of things and you'll think of people that you've associated in your life with at one point in time and just don't say nothing. Okay? Alright. So am I the jerk for deliberately giving my chronically late friend the wrong time?
In-Person: 'Cause you'll you'll think of things and you'll think of people that you've associated in your life with at one point in time and just they'll say nothing. Okay? Alright. So am I the jerk for deliberately giving my chronically late friend the wrong time?
susan: I, twenty female, have a friend who is chronically late. I'm not talking about five or ten minutes either. If we agree to meet at six, she usually shows up at six forty five or seven. We've talked about it so many times, and every time she apologizes and says she'll do better. It's caused problems before. She was almost an hour late to another friend's birthday dinner and we lost our reservation. She was also late to her friend's going away party and missed most of it because everyone had already started saying their goodbyes. Once she was supposed to pick me up from a doctor's
In-Person: their goodbyes. Once she was supposed to pick me up from a doctor's she was supposed to pick me up for a doctor's appointment and showed up fifty minutes late. So I had to take an Uber and I still ended up missing the appointment. I had to pay a cancellation fee to reschedule it. I can name about twenty such instances from the top of my head. So
susan: she supposed to pick me up for a doctor's appointment and showed up fifty minutes late. So I had to take an Uber and I still ended up missing the appointment. I had to pay a cancellation fee to reschedule it. I can name about twenty such instances from the top of my head. So like wild. The thing that really gets me is that if someone else is late, even by ten to fifteen minutes, she will sometimes make a huge deal about it.
In-Person: The thing that really gets me is that if someone else is late, even by ten to fifteen minutes, she will sometimes make a huge deal about it. It's happened only a few times. So Because she's always
susan: It's happened only a few times. So
In-Person: late, so there's nothing to complain about. True. True. She doesn't know when other people show up late. So I I don't want to exaggerate it, but it definitely feels hypocritical given how often she's late herself.
susan: True. True. She doesn't know when other people show up late. So I I don't want to exaggerate it, but it definitely feels hypocritical given how often she's late herself. At that point, our friend group has basically learned at this point sorry, not at that point. At this point, our friend group has basically learned to expect it from her.
In-Person: At that point our friend group has basically learned at this point sorry, not at that point. At this point. Our friend group has basically learned to expect it from her.
susan: Last week
In-Person: Last week, a few of us were going out for dinner. We had reservations for 6 30, so I told everyone to be there by 6 15. She said she'd leave her house at 6. At 620, she texted saying she was leaving now. I was honestly fed up, so I DM'd her that the reservation was postponed at 7 instead. Everyone else knew what I'd done. We got there at 615, had dinner, and when she finally showed up at 735.
susan: A few of us were going out for dinner. We had reservations for 6 30, so I told everyone to be there by 6 15. She said she'd leave her house at 6. At 620, she texted saying she was leaving now. I was honestly fed up, so I DM'd her that the reservation was postponed at 7 instead. Everyone else knew what I'd done. We got there at 6 15, had dinner, and when she finally showed up at 7 35, She was obviously pissed that we'd already eaten. She asked why I lied to her, and I told her that when I gave her the actual time, she doesn't show up until an hour later anyway. She said that was completely different and that I deliberately set her up to be late. She also said she trusted me to give her the correct time and that I had no right to teach her a lesson. I told her I was tired of constantly waiting for her and having everyone else's plans revolve around her late
In-Person: Lateness. She called me manipulative and said she doesn't want to make plans with me anymore. Am I the jerk?
susan: Lateness. She called me manipulative and said she doesn't want to make plans with me anymore. Am I the jerk?
In-Person: Literally did it one time. I can't And you just fly off the walls.
susan: Okay. And you just fly off the wall.
In-Person: I mean, I would just say tell her
susan: Tell her hey an hour earlier tell her the time is an hour earlier than what you guys are actually Okay. I have an edit for that. Edit.
In-Person: Come an hour earlier tell her the time is an hour earlier than what you guys are actually planning.
susan: A lot of people are asking why I didn't just give her an earlier time. We actually tried that. We tell her things started thirty minutes earlier and eventually fe she figured it out and started treating it as a fake time too. At this point the entire friend group is just exhausted. We've all waited for her missed reservations because of her rearranged plans around her and heard the same I'm sorry it'll never happen again speech dozens of time. I think everyone was pretty much at the point where nobody wanted to keep accommodating it anymore. I know lying to her wasn't exactly mature and kind of petty on my part, but honestly I was frustrated and wanted her to understand how ridiculous it feels when someone constantly treats your time like it doesn't matter. What is she doing? I wanna know what she's doing. She just like
In-Person: Petty on my part, but honestly, I was frustrated and wanted her to understand how ridiculous it feels when someone constantly treats your time like it doesn't matter. What is she doing? I wanna know what she's doing. She just like being lazy, like lounging around the house or something? Like what is making her late all the time? The thing is is that if you know that she's gonna be like an hour, thirty minutes late, then
susan: Being lazy like line around the house or something? Like what is meaningful? No, so the thing is is that if you know that she's gonna be like an hour thirty minutes late, then tell her so like let's say the time was at six fifteen. Yeah. You tell her that it's at five twenty. That way when she shows up
In-Person: Tell her so like let's say the time was at six fifteen. Yeah. You tell her that it's at five twenty. That way when she shows up
susan: At six twenty when she shows up. Yeah, she figured it out. But if she shows up I think they were giving it to her like an exact hour before everyone needed to be here so everyone showed up on time and she realized that they were doing that. If she would have just still made it so that she was still a little late, then I don't think she would have caught on. Does that make sense? I don't know.
In-Person: But they she said that she figured it out. Yeah, she figured it out. But if she shows up I think they were giving it to her like an exact hour before everyone needed to be here so everyone showed up on time. Yeah. And she realized that they were doing that. If she would have just still made it so that she was still a little late, then I don't think she would have got on. Does that make sense? Mm-hmm. I don't know.
susan: But I know someone that I would tell a a fake fake time to so that they'd show up on time.
In-Person: But I know someone that I would tell a a fake fake time to so that they'd show up on time. Yeah. I'm sure you know someone too. So Alright, moving on to the next one.
susan: sure you know someone too. So all right, moving on to the next one. Am I the jerk for putting my roommates' dishes in a box instead of washing them?
In-Person: Am I the jerk for putting my roommate's dishes in a box instead of washing them?
susan: I, twenty-four male, live with two roommates. Mike, twenty five male, and Dan, twenty four male. We've lived together for about eight months and overall things are pretty normal. Except one problem. Mike apparently believes dishes are communal responsibility regardless of who used them. Mike never washes his dishes.
In-Person: I, twenty four male, live with two roommates, Mike, twenty five male, and Dan, twenty-four male. We've lived together for about eight months, and overall things are pretty normal, except one problem. Mike apparently believes dishes are communal responsibility regardless of who used them. Mike never washes his dishes. Like ever. He'll cook a full meal, use literally everything in the kitchen, then pile everything into the sink and walk away. At first, Dan and I
susan: Like ever. He'll cook a full meal, use literally everything in the kitchen, then pile everything into the sink and walk away. At first, Dan and I would just wash things because we needed to use the kitchen, but after a while it became obvious that Mike had figured out he could simply wait us out. We talked to him about it several times, nothing dramatic. He agreed every time. Then he'd do it for maybe two days before going right back to normal. A few weeks ago, I stopped washing his dishes entirely. That created a new problem because Mike would just let them sit there, sometimes for four or five days. He'd complain that there were no clean plates, and I'd point out that most of the dirty ones belonged to him. His response was always something like, Well somebody needs to wash them. I told him that somebody doesn't have to be me. He laughed the first time I said it. Last week I finally got fed up. Mike cooked dinner and left basically the entire kitchen covered in dirty dishes. There was a pan with dried food stuck to it, two plates, a bowl, several utensils, and a bunch of cups. I needed to cook something myself, so I cleaned the counters and put all of Mike's dirty dishes into a large cardboard box. I didn't throw anything away, I didn't damage anything, I just put his dirty dishes in a box and moved the box into a corner of the kitchen. Then I put a note on it. Dan saw it and absolutely lost it laughing. Mike came home after an hour later and asked where all his dishes were. I pointed at the box. He stared at it for a second and said, Are you serious? I said, Yep. I needed the sink and counter space and I'm not washing your dishes anymore. He said I was being childish and passive aggressive. I told him that I had asked him multiple times to wash his own dishes and that I wasn't throwing them away or refusing to let him use them. I literally just grabbed
In-Person: your dishes anymore. He said I was being childish and passive aggressive. I told him that I had asked him multiple times to wash his own dishes and that I wasn't throwing them away or refusing to let him use them. I literally just grabbed gathered his dishes into one place so the kitchen could be usable. He said the box was disrespectful and that roommates shouldn't treat each other like that. I pointed out that leaving your dirty dishes for days and expecting someone else to wash them is also
susan: gathered his dishes into one place so the kitchen could be usable. He said the box was disrespectful and that roommates shouldn't treat each other like that. I pointed out that leaving your dirty dishes for days and expecting someone else to wash them is also pretty disrespectful. He eventually took the box to his room. Now he's barely speaking to me. Dan thinks it's hilarious and says I should have done it months ago. Mike apparently told a mutual friend that I'm obsessed with dishes and that I made a huge deal out of nothing. I honestly don't think putting someone's own dirty dishes in a box is that serious, but maybe I was being unnecessarily petty. Am I the jerk?
In-Person: No. D what? No. No. I thought you said yeah for a second. dang. No. No. No, we've had the communication with them. Listen. And
susan: What? No. No. I thought you said yeah for a second. I was like, dang. No. No? No, we've had the communication with them. Listen The more that I read Am I the Jerks, every time I read it, I'm like You're not the you're not the jerk. You're not the jerk. We keep saying you're not the jerk. So I wanted to try to find ones where they were the jerk. But it's very hard because it's only one side of the story. Yeah. And it's gonna be their side in which they look not as bad. You know? Yeah. But
In-Person: The more that I read Am I the Jerks, every time I read it, I'm like, You're not the you're not the jerk. You're not the jerk. We keep saying you're not the jerk. So I wanted to try to find ones where they were the jerk. But it's very hard because it's only one side of the story. Yeah. And it's gonna be their side in which they look not as bad. You know? Yeah. But How do you think the other side of the story how do you think Mike's point of view is? I don't know. I don't know. That's the thing. We don't know. We just know what he says and we just kinda have to go with it. But that's why we're saying we're not he's not the jerk. Yeah. But one day I will find a jerk one. We have had a few. I think so.
susan: think the other side of the story, how do you think Mike's point of view is? I don't know. I don't know. That's the thing. We don't know. We just know what he says and w we just kinda have to go with it. But that's why we're saying we're not he's not the jerk. Yeah. But one day I will find a jerk one. We have had a few. I think so. I think so. I think we had a one where they both were just not
In-Person: think so. I think we had a one where they both were just not they were both jerks. Yeah. Alright. Was that all the comments you had for that one? Okay. I could have a few more but I will hold my tongue. Okay. Moving on to the next one.
susan: They were both jerks. Yeah. Alright. Was that all the comments you had for that one? Okay. I could have a few more, but I will hold my tongue. Okay. Moving on to the next one. Am I the jerk for showing up my boyfriend's girlfriend no. Sorry, I read that wrong. Showing up. Am I the jerk for showing up my brother's girlfriend?
In-Person: Am I the jerk for showing up my boyfriend's girlfriend no. Sorry, I read that wrong. Showing up. Am I the jerk for showing up my brother's girlfriend by getting him a birthday gift he liked more and not warning her I was getting a big gift? Okay, any context. Okay. Cause why would that matter? Okay.
susan: by getting him a birthday gift he liked more and not warning her I was getting a big gift. Okay, in context. Okay. Okay. I, twenty five female, have a twin brother, twenty five male. Well of course he's twenty five, but whatever. Growing up, our favorite pastime was building Legos together. Our family couldn't afford it often, so the sets we had were treasured and we always buy bags of loose bricks from charity shops whenever we saw them. It was a major bonding time for us making things together and my brother claims that those days of playing with Lego is what inspired him to go on and become an architect. It was our birthday on Friday and we had a small thing with family and My boyfriend of three years, twenty seven male, was there, and so was my brother's girlfriend of two years, twenty four female. During the gift exchange we left each other's presents to last, as we always have and opened our receptive gifts. They were very nice and enjoyable, nothing to complain about on either side. When we exchanged gifts, however, it led to some laughs and delight on both sides. I got him the some Some German Castle Lego set. So it's a castle Lego set, so it you know, it's gonna be massive. Lego Lego sets that are like castle or it's probably part of the collector's edition. Yeah. And he got me the Notre Dame Lego set. He clearly loved his gift and was going on about how excited he was to build it and how he'd be spending his next day off work working on it.
In-Person: Yeah. So it's a castle Lego set, so it you know, it's gonna be massive. Lego Lego sets that are like castles. They co that's probably part of the collector's edition. Yeah. And he got me the Notre Dame Lego set. He clearly loved his gift and was going on about how excited he was to build it and how he'd be spending his next day off work working on it.
susan: He showed a lot more enthusiasm for this than the watch his girlfriend got him, though he had clearly liked that too. Since then his girlfriend has reached out to me, insisting I tried to show her up deliberately by getting him a gift he'd like more, and how she was trying to treat him like an adult with her gift while I was encouraging him to be childish. She also thinks we somehow planned this gift exchange as we both got Legos for each other. I had to tell her no. It is just something we have always enjoyed together and it's just natural we do this. I also told her then I had no intention of showing her up, but that if s she really wanted to win the day with gifts, she should have considered his interest and not worried about what seems appropriate for an adult. She then pivoted to the fact that she is his girlfriend, and I should have warned her I was getting an expensive gift. I pointed out my brother didn't warn my boyfriend, but she insists that doesn't matter, that I should have. Was I wrong? for not giving her warning and l leading leading to her feeling shown up as a result. I have never felt the need to give warning when my brother dated, but maybe I should have.
In-Person: and leading leading to her feeling shown up as a result. I have never felt the need to give warning when my brother dated, but maybe I should have. My brain hurts. why does your brain hurt?
susan: why does your brain hurt? How do you not understand it's something that they did growing up? Like if you can't accept something that their families did, then Also while you're in that relationship. Also, it's like
In-Person: How do you not understand it's something that they did growing up? Like if you can't accept something that their families did, then also I don't know why you're in that relationship. Also it's like They gave each other Legos. Like that's their gift to each other. They're twins. They're born on the same day. They're celebrating their birthday together. Wait, is this this is a female? Sorry I didn't catch that part. Okay. So so she met and her brother They're fraternal fr twins. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like Legos don't have to be like if it well big sets like that, those are part of like the collector's edition that are worth hundreds of dollars. Like
susan: They gave each other Legos. Like that's their gift to each they're twins. They're born on the same day. They're celebrating their birthday together. But is this this is a female? Sorry, I don't Yeah. She's a female and her brother is paternal print twins. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Like Legos don't have to be like if it well big sets like that, those are part of like the collector's edition that are worth hundreds of dollars. Like that's something that
In-Person: That's something that you just put on your shelf and admire. Like like puzzles and stuff like that. So like it's also why you it's not like it's a thirty dollar set from Walmart. And even those can be put on the shelf. But like it's it's also something that they've done since they were children. Yeah. It's something that they have a joy. That's a red flag for the brother if he finds out
susan: you just put on your shelf and admire. Like like puzzles and stuff like that. So like it's also why you it's not like it's a thirty dollar set from Walmart. And even those can be put on the shelf. But like it's it's also something that they've done since they were children. It's something that they have a joy with each other. If he finds out
In-Person: about it and If she can't accept things that they did. Like I like I like part of their traditions. I'm I'm a big gift giver and I wanna give the best gift. There are times where I wanna be the one that gives the best gift. I know I'm not always gonna do that because I might not know somebody as well as the next person. They're twins too. Yes. They've been
susan: She can't accept things that they did. Like, I like I love giving gifts. I'm I'm a big gift giver and I want to give the best gift. There are times where I want to be the one that gives the best gift. I know I'm not always gonna do that because I might not know somebody as well as the next person. They're twins too. Yes. They've been around each other their entire lives. Yes. Because they're
In-Person: Around each other their entire lives. Yes. Because they're born on the same day. And so of course she's gonna have a little bit more understanding than a girlfriend of two years. Yeah. But even so, I get you Lego sets 'cause I know that's what you like. Yeah. And I don't think it's childish. No, I n I don't sit around and try and play with them any like I did when I was
susan: Born on the same day. And so of course she's gonna have a little bit more understanding than a girlfriend of two years. Yeah. But even so, I get you Lego sets 'cause I know that's what you like. And I don't think it's childish. No, I'm not I don't sit around and try and play with them any like I did when I was Yeah. Should I should I treat you like an adult
In-Person: Yeah.
susan: and not encourage you to be childish? It's just like putting a l like a leg puzzle a puzzle together. Mm hmm. I I think that was crazy. You put you buy a puzzle, you glue them together and you hang them up like a poster. It's like that. I I build Legos to put on a shelf and admire. I read that one and I was like, my gosh, he is gonna get heated on that one.
In-Person: It's just like putting a l like a leg not a puzzle together. Mhm. I I Like if you glue your you put you buy a puzzle, you glue together and you hang up like a poster. It's like that. I I build Legos to put on a shelf and admire. I read that one and I was like, my gosh, he is gonna get heated on that one. Yeah, I mean like 'cause it's ridiculous. It ch challenges you're challenging family their family like
susan: Yeah, Because it's ridiculous. Challenges you're challenging family their family like dynamic. Yeah. I've And like what what what else is she gonna freak out about if they pursue this relationship any further?
In-Person: Tradition. Yeah. I've And like what what what else is she gonna freak out about if they pursue this relationship any further?
susan: That's true. it just sounds a little bit controlling, like she wants to be the only girl that he fawns over in any type of way. I mean like you
In-Person: just sounds a little bit controlling like she wants to be the only girl that he fawns over in any type of way. I mean like you c especially they're twins, like they're gonna know each other even better than like a normal sibling.
susan: Especially they're twins. Like they're gonna know each other even better than like a normal sibling. Yeah. No, I Yeah, I d I mean I did really great for your Christmas gifts this year, but I I think I think your sister also nailed it with her Christmas gift. I think that was so cute and that was so personal and you know, it it definitely meant a lot to you that she did that 'cause she did she did it by hand. Yeah. She did it for the family. Yeah, she even made one for me. Like that was
In-Person: mean I did really great for your Christmas gifts this year but I I loved I think your sister also nailed it with her Christmas gift. I think that was so cute and that was so personal and, you know, it it definitely meant a lot to you that she did that 'cause she did she did it by hand. Yeah. Yeah. She did it for the whole family. Yeah, she even made one And she made one for her. Like that was
susan: She didn't have to do that for me, but she did and she included me in that very special moment of And we we killed I mean I we both noticed the puzzle at the same time. But you were like, Let's get this for your mom and Re yeah. My mom opened it, she called us and was freaking out ecstatic for it. Freaking out it was a puzzle that she had been looking to get.
In-Person: She didn't have to do that for me but she did and she included me in that very special moment of And we we killed I mean I n we both noticed the puzzle at the same time. But you were like, Let's get this for your mom and as soon as my mom opened it, she called us and was h freaking out ecstatic for it. 'Cause it was a puzzle that she had been looking to get For a while. Yeah. It was a puzzle that she'd been looking to get for a while and it had been the specific kind of puzzle brand that she wanted to try. And I had seen it at Barnes and Noble. Krista, you'll hear this one day in life. So it was f fifty percent off. And I was like, How do you not get it? Also it was Jane Austen. Yeah. And Jane Austen, if you know his mama
susan: For a while. Yeah. It was a puzzle that she'd been looking to get for a while and it had been the specific kind of puzzle brand that she wanted to try. And I had seen it at Barnes and Noble. Krista, you'll hear this one day in life. So it was f fifty percent off. And I was like, How do you not get it? Also it was Jane Austen. And Jane Austen, if you know his mama, she loves her some Jane Austen. Books, movies, that girl loves her some Jane Austen. So I knew I had to get that puzzle because it was a Jane Austen puzzle and I thought that was the coolest thing. But I had no idea that she had been looking at that puzzle for a while. Like that I never knew that. She never told me that, but I just knew I should get it for it. And we were gonna hold it for Christmas, but then
In-Person: Books, movies, that girl loves her so Jane Austen. So I knew I had to get that puzzle because it was a Jane Austen puzzle and I thought that was the coolest thing. Yeah. But I had no idea that she had been looking at that puzzle for a while. Like that I never knew that. She never told me that. But I just knew I should get it for it. And we were gonna hold it for Christmas. But then someone told me at the beach house that it was her birthday and I was like, well then we'll just give it
susan: Someone told me at the beach house that it was her birthday and I was like, well then we'll just give
In-Person: it to her for her birthday. So they had a travel day on her birthday coming back from Pittsburgh. My dad's driving competition. Yeah. So they they came back and Which my dad was in the top ten. Yeah he Congratulations to my dad. Congrats. Congrats for that.
susan: it to her for her birthday. So they had a travel day on her birthday coming back from Pittsburgh. My dad's driving competition. Yeah. So they they came back and my dad was in the top ten. Yeah, he he made Yeah, congrats. Congrats for that.
In-Person: But they came back and I'm just glad that she got to open it on her
susan: But they came back and I'm just glad that she got to open it on her birthday and she wasn't too tired from travelling. Yeah, it could be like we wanted to go swim on Saturday and we just left it on the table. Like surprise when you get home. Yeah. I said there may or may not be something on your table for you. Wink wink and so she laughed at that.
In-Person: birthday if she wasn't too tired from traveling. Yeah, 'cause we like we went to go swim on Saturday and we just left we repped it like surprise when you get home. Yeah. I said there may or may not be something on your table for you. Wink wink. And so she laughed at that.
susan: And then I was like I was hoping that she wouldn't be too exhausted from travelling, that she'd want to open it. And I'm glad she did because I'm sure that made her day after a day of traveling. Yeah. I feel like that that definitely was a lot worse than that. That was something that she probably really needed.
In-Person: And then I was like I was hoping that she wouldn't be too exhausted from travelling that she'd want to open it. And I'm glad she did because I'm sure that made her day after a day of travelling. Yeah. I feel like that's That was something that she probably really needed. I bet she's ready to be home for a while. Yeah. All right. Anyways. Was that the last one? Nope. We've got I mean I know it kind of
susan: Yep. All right. But yeah, so nope. We've got one. I know it kind of sometimes got two more. Sometimes it feels
In-Person: Sometimes two more Sometimes I mean like you can feel kind of jealous Yeah jealous in a way. 'Cause you're like, I thought he was gonna really like this gift But like it said she said he liked the gift but it's something that
susan: feel kind of left out, yeah, jealous in a 'Cause you're like, I thought he was gonna really like this gift. But like it said she said he liked the gift, but it's something that If she would have gotten him a Lego, that would have been a little bit different of an excitement. I mean, he probably s he's he did like his watch. He probably wears the watch every day. You know, it's something that he can wear every day.
In-Person: If she would have gotten him a Lego, that would have been a little bit different of an excitement. I mean, he probably s he's he did He probably still wears the watch a lot too. He probably wears the watch every day. You know, it's something that he can wear every day. But you're trying to be controlling. Yes. In that aspect you're instead of being appreciative that, you know,
susan: But you're trying to be controlling. Yes. In that aspect you're instead of being appreciative that, you know, he is gonna wear the watch every day while that Lego set is just gonna be a one and done thing for him. Yeah. You know, that's I'd be like, hm, I'm the one that's on the watch every day. Every time he looks at that watch he's gonna be thinking about me. But also it's it's
In-Person: He is gonna wear the watch every day while that Lego set is just gonna be a one and done thing for him. Yeah. You know, that's gonna be like, hmm, I'm the one that's on the watch every day. Every time he looks at that watch he's gonna be thinking about me. But also it's it's It's giving it's like if another girl had given him but this is his sister. Yeah. Like nothing's gonna happen with his sister. You know? That's not gonna happen. It wasn't like a girl best friend. Yeah. If it had been a girl best friend or a girl that had been interested in him before they got together that would be a little bit of a different w the first time we did Am I the Jerk talked about the best friend. Mhm.
susan: It's giving it's like if another girl had given him but this is his sister. Yeah. Like nothing's gonna happen with his sister. You know? That's not gonna happen. Like a girl best friend. Yeah. If it had been a girl best friend or a girl that had been interested in him before they got together, that would be a little bit of a different situation. Wor the first time we did Emma a jerk talked about the best friend. Mm-hmm. So
In-Person: So that's going back to that. But yeah. Alright, next story. Sorry, we went on a big tangent there. That's okay. Alright. Am I the jerk for wanting to keep the cat I adopted after the original owner came back nine months later?
susan: Yeah. Going back to that. But yeah. All right. Next story. Sorry, we went on a big tangent there. That's okay. All right. Am I the jerk for wanting to keep the cat I adopted after the original owner came back nine months later?
In-Person: You ready?
susan: You ready?
In-Person: So to give a bit of context, in November of last year, twenty twenty five, my partner, twenty-eight male, found a rag doll that was malnourished and had lots of bald spots. My partner and I, twenty four female, took the cat to our local vet to find the original owners and see if he was healthy. Upon checking him into the vet's reception, they found a microchip which they said he could my gosh.
susan: So to give a bit of context, in November of last year, twenty twenty five, my partner, twenty eight male, found a rag doll that was malnourished and had lots of bald spots. My partner and I, twenty four female, took the cat to our local vet to find the original owners and see if he was healthy. Upon checking him into the vet's reception, they found a microchip which they said he could my gosh.
In-Person: Bless you. Twice.
susan: my gosh. Okay.
In-Person: Okay. Upon checking him into the vet reception they found a microchip which they said he would stay at the vet as they got in touch with the owners.
susan: Upon checking him into the vet reception, they found a microchip which they said he would stay at the vet as they got in touch with the owners. The vet then called us the next morning to let us know that the microchip belonged to the breeder and that they could not get in contact with the owner. They then informed us that he would be surrendered to the local council pound where they would post an attempt to find the owner.
In-Person: The vet then called us the next morning to let us know that the microchip belonged to the breeder and that they could not get in contact with the owner. They then informed us that he would be surrendered to the local council town where they would post an attempt to find the owner. He was posted on the lost council page for two weeks before the council got in contact with us saying if we would like to adopt
susan: He was posted on the loss council page for two weeks before the council got in contact with us saying if we would like to adopt would they like to adopt, they would put him on a de sexing list. We immediately put our hands up to adopt him and paid four hundred dollars for registration along with countless bills that we have paid this year for him, dental food, dental procedures, vet insurance, registration fees, and we love him very much. This afternoon, one of our neighbors, this was two days ago by the way, this was posted two days ago. This afternoon, one of our neighbors from a few doors down is claiming this is their cat and that they lost contact with the original breeder and never registered him because he was an outdoor cat. The only reason they saw him is because we have a window in front of our house with a hammock that he goes on every day for the last nine months.
In-Person: This afternoon, one of our neighbors this was two days ago by the way, this was supposed to be this afternoon, one of our neighbors from a few doors down is claiming this is their cat and that they lost contact with the original breeder and never registered him because he was an outdoor cat. The only reason they saw him is because we have a window in front of our house with a hammock that he goes on every day for the last nine months.
susan: Now our council has strict fines and laws that prohibits outdoor and unregistered cats that they will be impounded and put down if found. They are claiming they have had him since three months old. He just turned three a week ago. Am I the jerk for wanting to keep him? What do I do? Mm.
In-Person: There's no way they can prove that's their cat. edit. They showed me photos of him from when he was three months old. They have the chip in my neighborhood. I showed him no, remember it was it was still they didn't finish the so it's still with the breeder. but then they registered him so now his microchip says them as as their owner.
susan: That's their cat. edit. They showed me photos of him from when he was three months old. They live in my neighborhood. I showed him no, remember it was it was still they didn't finish the so it's still with the breeder. but then they registered him so now his microchip says them as as their owner. they showed me photos of him when he was three months old. They live in my neighborhood. I showed him
In-Person: They showed me photos of him when he was three months old. They live in my neighborhood. I showed him them
susan: them and they claimed he was the same tear streak and they have lost him for a few months. They could not tell me when they exactly lost him. They said they changed numbers and lost contact with the original breeder. I do think I believe that they could have owned him. That's why I think I could be the jerk. They're going to go to the council about it, which I will contact for legal advice tomorrow. Just go get another
In-Person: and they claimed he was the same tear streak and they have lost him for a few months. They could not tell me when they exactly lost him. They said they changed numbers and lost contact with the original breeder. I do think I believe that they could have owned him. That's why I think I could be the jerk. They're going to go to the council about it, which I will contact for legal advice tomorrow. Just go get another cat. There's thousands of cats out there. Just go get another cat. This lady? No, the the other people. Like she's already they've already changed everything. Listen, someone said not the jerk at all. They let him roam unregistered. Yeah. Unchipped to them. Yeah. And he was found starving with bald spots. That's neglect.
susan: There's thousands of cats out there because you get another cat. This lady? No. the other people. Well also they keep in mind. Listen, someone said not the jerk at all. They let him roam unregistered. Yeah. Unchipped to them. Yeah. And he was found starving with bald spots. That's neglect. And how do you Yeah, I wouldn't trust They said you did everything by the book. He's yours.
In-Person: And how do you Yeah, I wouldn't trust them going back to them. How do they prove how do they fully prove that that
susan: Well, they could have gotten that photo off the internet too. A three month old rag doll. Like, yeah, I would But do not trust that cat. Well, and a ragdoll, you don't understand a ragdoll is very expensive. Is that a breed of cat? Mm-hmm. Let me show you.
In-Person: was their cat? A three month old rag doll. Like, yeah, I would Lady, do not trust that cat. Well, and a ragdoll, you don't understand a rag doll is very expensive. Is that a breed of cat? Mm-hmm. Let me show you.
susan: Education time here, folks.
In-Person: Education time here, folks. We just got tabbies. So So this is a
susan: We just got tabbies. So So this is a ragdoll. They're those white Persian looking kitties. Let's see how much.
In-Person: Yeah, like they literally went through all the processes of buying this cat. Found it on the street.
susan: Yeah, like they literally went through all the processes of buying this cat. Found it on the street.
In-Person: It's their cat. price the average price of a ragdoll kitten, now this is just an overview. This is not true numbers, this is just an average, is from breeders is one thousand to two thousand and eight hundred dollars.
susan: price the average price of a ragdoll kitten, now this is just an overview. This is not true numbers, this is just an average, is from breeders is one thousand to two thousand and eight hundred dollars. If you paid one thousand to two thousand eight hundred dollars for a cat and you don't take care of them and you neglect them,
In-Person: If you paid one thousand to two thousand eight hundred dollars for a cat and you don't take care of them and you neglect them, then sorry, you're lost. Yeah, if she found the cat on the street with bald spots, there's no but reason why this person should have that. They could have faked those pictures and just driven by and saw the cat and be like, my gosh, I want a ragdoll cat. Yeah, it just no when you were talking about photos
susan: Then sorry, you're loss. Yeah, if she found the cat on the street with bald spots, there's no but reason why that it also could have been fake. They could have faked those pictures and just driven by and saw the cat and be like, my gosh, I want a ragdoll cat. Yeah, it just no when you were talking about photos
In-Person: and I'm like
susan: How do they know that that's their freaking cat? Yeah.
In-Person: How do they know that that's their freaking cat? Yeah.
susan: 'Cause they've had him since he was what, th three weeks, is that what they said?
In-Person: 'Cause they've had him since he was what, th three weeks, is that what they said?
susan: this is like some salt Tommy.
In-Person: It's just like if someone saw Tommy in the window and was like, That's my cat. Yeah. That would be
susan: Yeah. That would be wild. We did take one of our neighbours' cats.
In-Person: We did take one of our neighbours' cats to it a couple of weeks ago. But Actually it wasn't even our neighbor's cat, it was just a friend's cat's cat. I don't know, they were letting this cat run free and I didn't we have some strays in our neighborhood and so I thought it was a stray. No, I think they left with No, not that cat. Like I haven't seen any strays in a while. I've seen a few, but they're more up down the road now. At a certain house. I think that house feeds but I saw and I was gonna
susan: Actually, it was just A friend's cat. I don't know. They were letting this cat run free and I didn't we have some strays in our neighborhood and so I thought it was a stray. No, I think they left with them. Or they No, not that cat. Like I haven't seen any strays while. I've seen a few, but they're more up down the road now. At a certain house. I think that house feeds them. But I saw and I was gonna Bring him in and be like, Hey, you know we're gonna go see if he's chipped and then get him to his rightful owner 'cause like, you know, he's a small kitten or if he didn't have one we were gonna keep And then they came and knocked on our door and asked for the cat and I was like, Okay, well didn't know it was your cat. Are all the other ones your cats? And they no, just this one and I was like, Okay, well
In-Person: Bring him in and be like, Hey, you know Murders the chip. We're gonna go see if he's chipped and then you get him to his rightful owner 'cause like, you know, he's a small kitten or if he didn't have one we're gonna keep him. And then they came and knocked on our door and asked for the cat and I was like, Okay, well, didn't know it was your cat. Are all the other ones your cats? And they said, No, just this one and I like, Okay, well
susan: maybe you should put a collar on it. Like at least put a collar on the cat if you're gonna let it roam about. We put collars on our cats but then not
In-Person: Maybe you should put a collar on it. Like at least put a collar on the cat if you're gonna let it roam about. We put collars on our cats but then knock off. Yeah, they knock them out. But they're not outdoor cats. They don't go outside. If they were outdoor cats, I don't think that they would knock off as much. There'd be ton of things. Okay, the last one. Ready? Yeah. Hit me. Am I the jerk for refusing to give up my bedroom for my pregnant stepsister and moving into the garage?
susan: Yeah, they knock off. Correct. If they were outdoor cats, I don't think that they would knock off as much. 'Cause there would be ton of things. Okay, the last one. Ready? Yeah. Am I the jerk for refusing to give up my bedroom for my pregnant stepsister and moving into the garage?
In-Person: for long term, any context. Okay.
susan: any context. Okay.
In-Person: I, fifteen female, live with my dad and my stepmom Carol. Carol has a daughter, Maya, twenty-one female, who doesn't live with us full time but comes over often. A bit of context. Context. My dad and Carol got married three years ago. When we moved into our current house, my dad let me choose the biggest bedroom because I'm the only kid living here permanently. And I spent months decorating it,
susan: I, fifteen female, live with my dad and my stepmom Carol. Carol has a daughter, Maya, twenty one female, who doesn't live with us full time but comes over often. A bit of context context. My dad and Carol got married three years ago. When we moved into our current house, my dad let me choose the biggest bedroom because I'm the only kid living here permanently and I spent months decorating it.
In-Person: painting the walls, and making it my safe space. I have severe anxiety.
susan: Painting the walls and making it my safe space. I have severe anxiety and having my own organized room is really important for my mental health. Two weeks ago, Maya dropped a bomb. She is four months pregnant, single, and lost her job. Carol immediately decided that Maya has to move back in with us. The problem is our house only has three bedrooms. My dad and Carol's, mine and a tiny guest room that Carol uses as her home office. My dad and Carol sat me down and said that since Maya is having a baby, she needs the biggest room for the crib, changing table and all the baby stuff. They told me I have to move into Carol's small office and Carol will just work from the living room, dining table. I completely lost it. I told them it wasn't fair that I have to give up the room I've lived in for years because of Maya's choices. Maya started crying, Carol called me an entitled brat, and my dad looked really disappointed in me. Since they wouldn't drop it, I took matters in my own hands. Our house has a detached garage that is finished and has electricity, but is basically used for storage and getting and gets pretty cold slash hot, but I can use more blankets in the winter and keep the door open in summer. Over the weekend, while they were out helping Maya pack her apartment, I dragged my mattress, my clothes, and my desk out to the garage. When they got home they were furious. My dad says I'm being incredibly dramatic, making them look like monsters to the neighbors, and that I'm putting myself in an unsafe situation just to prove a point. Carol says I'm ruining Maya's homecoming and causing unnecessary stress to a pregnant woman. But from my point of view, they're going to force me out anyway, so I just chose my own space where no one can bother me. I refuse to move back to the main house if I have to stay in a tiny office.
In-Person: and that I'm putting myself in an unsafe situation just to prove a point. Carol says I'm ruining Maya's homecoming and causing unnecessary stress to a pregnant woman. But from my point of view, they're going to force me out anyway, so I just chose my own space where no one can bother me. I refuse to move back to the main house if I have to stay in a tiny office. My dad is now ignoring me and Carol keeps texting me. She can't even come to the garage to say it to me.
susan: My dad is now ignoring me and Carol keeps texting me. She can't even come to the garage to say it to me
In-Person: that I need to grow up. Am I the jerk?
susan: that I need to grow up. Am I the jerk?
In-Person: It's an interesting one. What do you think? I think
susan: Do you think
In-Person: I think that yeah, I can understand being upset that you're losing the room that you put so much work into yourself and you're having to lose it. However, it is just a room. Yeah.
susan: I think that yeah, I can understand being upset that you're losing the room that you put so much work into yourself and you're having to lose it. However, it is just a room. Yeah.
In-Person: Now, moving into a tiny office because like if I have to move into a smaller room that I'm gonna feel claustrophobic. Like when I think of the tiny office, I'm thinking it's it's small.
susan: Now, moving into a tiny office because like if I have to move into a smaller room that I'm gonna feel claustrophobic, but like when I think of the tiny office, I'm thinking it's it's small.
In-Person: Yeah. It's like a it's got barely enough space for the bed and the like it probably has a twin bed.
susan: Yeah. It's like a t it's got barely enough space for the bed and the like it probably has a twin bed and a desk chair in it and a desk in it. But that's taken up way too much space in it. Now moving to the garage, if it's only for storage, the tiny room could be used for storage. Carol could still work in the living room and let's try to coordinate and make the garage
In-Person: and a desk chair in it and a desk in it. But that's taken up way too much space in it. Now, moving to the garage, if it's only for storage, the tiny room could be used for storage. Carol could still work in the living room and let's try to coordinate and make the garage a feasible place. Yeah.
susan: a feasible place. Yeah. You know, you still have to go to the house for the bathroom and all that. But if it's not that far away, it doesn't sound like it's very far away if you took the mattress and the desk out to the garage, so can't be too far away from the house.
In-Person: you know, you still have to go to the house for the bathroom and all that. But if it's not that far away, it doesn't sound like it's very far away if you took the mattress and the desk out to the garage so can't be too far away from the house. Yeah. I say, you know, try to make it hers and and or move pregnant
susan: I say, you know, try to make it hers and and or move pregnant stepsister and baby into there, but I think they would survive better in the house, especially when the winter comes. I think that
In-Person: stepsister and baby into there but I think they would survive better in the house, especially when the winter comes. I think that But I think the parents could have they could've handled it probably a little better. Stepmother, I think because it's her child, cared more about her step daughter than her her child feelings than her stepdaughter's feelings.
susan: But I think the parents could have they could have handled it probably a little bit. The stepmother, I think because it's her child, cared more about her stepdaughter or her her child's feeling than her stepdaughter's feelings. And so sh they didn't really try to talk and get something figured out. They just sort of told her that's what's happening. Because she's she's four months pregnant. They've still got a few months until the baby's there. They have time to discuss this and try to find a better situation. But instead of trying to do that, they went ahead and just said, This is what's happening.
In-Person: She is fifteen though, so That is true. Gotta abide by the rules. That is true. However, I feel like they're the parents could have thought about it just a speech differently. Not saying that parents can't be like, Yeah, it's what I say. there's moments when you have to be that way, but Yes. But I think in this situation it it's a bit different and it and it's not
susan: She is fifteen though, so That is true. That is true. However, I feel like they're the parents could have gone about it just a smidge differently. Not saying that parents can't be like, Yeah, it's what I say you know. Yes. But I think in this situation it it's a bit different and it and it's not
In-Person: It doesn't have to be that way. I have a hard time saying definitive you're the jerk. But I feel like there could have been better from both sides. Yep. So everybody sucks. Yeah. In that situation
susan: It doesn't have to be that way. I have a hard time saying definitive due to the jerk, but I feel like there could've been better from both sides. Yep. So everybody sucks. Yeah, in that situation.
In-Person: there could have been more. But those were all I had. Alright. Well there's our
susan: But those were all I had.
In-Person: our vault episode. Yeah. Thanks for tuning in if this ever gets posted. Yeah.
susan: our Vault episode. Yep. So thanks for tuning in if this ever gets posted. Yeah. Probably will then posted We're going out of town in October, so we might do it then because that week is gonna be crazy, crazy and I don't think we're gonna bring our stuff with us. I think I'm just gonna upload this and save ourselves the the time 'cause we are going to Universal. So
In-Person: probably will probably get posted 'cause we'll we're going out of town in October, so so yeah. We might do it then because that week is gonna be crazy, crazy and I don't think we're gonna bring our stuff with us. I think I'm just gonna upload this and save ourselves the the time 'cause we are going to universal. So No. We're gonna have long nights. Long days and nights and recording is probably gonna be the last our mind. yeah, no, a hundred percent. So Well thanks for tuning in. As always. We need to make more of these, so we'll might just do am I the jerks for our volts, how about that? We could. Yeah. Okay. See you guys. Bye bye.
susan: we're gonna have long nights long days and nights and recording is probably gonna be the last thing on our mind. yeah. No, a hundred percent. So well thanks for tuning in. There might be more of these. We need to make more of these, so we'll we'll might just do I the Jerks for our volts. How about that? Yeah. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye.