Remember, Remember: Reflections on Dystopian Fiction

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It is 1988 now. Margaret Thatcher is entering her third term of office and talking
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competently of an unbroken conservative leadership well into the next century.
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My youngest daughter is seven, and the tabloid press are circulating the idea
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of concentration camps for persons with AIDS.
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The new riot police wear black visors, as do their horses, and their black vans
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have rotating cameras mounted on top.
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The government has expressed a desire to eradicate homosexuality even as an
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abstract concept, and one can only speculate as to which minority will be the
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next legislated against.
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I'm thinking of taking my family and getting out of this country soon,
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sometime over the next couple of years.
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It's cold, and it's mean-spirited, and I don't like it here anymore.
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Alan Moore, V for Vendetta, Introduction, 1988.
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For the last three years, I've made a tradition out of getting together with
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a few friends on July 4th for my crudely named Fourth of Jovember party.
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Rather than going out to the typical patriotic celebrations of a country that's
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increasingly stripped away the civil rights of my friends and our loved ones,
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we instead celebrate indoors,
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gathering around a TV to enjoy a bit of anarchy, rebellion, and fireworks as
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presented to us by Hollywood's favorite trans siblings in the film adaptation of V for Vendetta.
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The film is, admittedly, not without flaws.
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So much so that Alan Moore refused to have his name associated with the picture
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and allegedly never cashed his royalty check.
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But I don't revisit the film because I think it's a timeless classic or flawless masterpiece.
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I revisit it because I find that with every viewing, I come away feeling something
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different, and it never fails to spark an interesting discussion with those I view it with.
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At times, especially as a teenager, I actually preferred the movie to the graphic novel.
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Even now, I would argue that some of the creative liberties taken by the Wachowski
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sisters weren't to the film's benefit.
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With a little more time and perspective, and a recent read of the original comic,
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I can understand how its writer would feel like the point he was trying to make
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was lost in translation.
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One of the few scenes that remains almost entirely faithful to the source material,
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though, is the retelling of Valerie's story.
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The reading of a prison memoir written on toilet paper, expressing love to a
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stranger the author has never met, reminding us of the power we still have in
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our last inch of dignity even when everything else has been forcibly stripped away.
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I've always found this scene incredibly moving, even when first viewing it as
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an otherwise bored 13-year-old totally unaware of their own queerness.
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Revisiting it at the age of 28 and my first year of transition,
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it brought me to tears for the first time as I finally understood the gravity of the scene.
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Here I was, in what was at that point the best year of my life so far,
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surrounded by people who loved and accepted me as Tommy, and only now beginning
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to realize both how much I had to live for and just how much I had to lose.
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It inspired me to write a small memoir of my own that night.
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Prior to this point, I had written a number of personal essays that I had shared among close friends.
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Unfortunately, these were almost never about pleasant subjects.
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This was my way of processing the various life events that I didn't have the
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energy or composure to recount in detail to every loved one in my life.
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Usually explaining the latest emotional trauma I was processing,
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or how I was coping with discovering that I had been living with undiagnosed
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and untreated complex PTSD and anxiety for half my life, or expounding on how
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I was dealing with my divorce or the gradual loss of friendships over the course of my 20s.
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I didn't want this essay to be one of those. In fact, I didn't want to write
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an essay like that ever again.
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There were plenty of things for me to be distressed about, especially now that
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I was part of one of the groups in conservative crosshairs that had just experienced
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the first of many losses in civil rights protections.
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Instead, I wanted this to be a celebration of everything that was finally going right in my life.
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Valerie's memoir in the comic has a line that resonates with me more than any other.
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It is strange that my life should end in such a terrible place,
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but for three years, I had roses, and I apologized to nobody.
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I wanted to have a piece of that present moment that I could hang on to and
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revisit, even if my worst fears came to fruition.
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It was something that I wrote only for myself at the time, but I finally feel
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ready to share it with others while we still have time to find our three years of roses.
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Let's do a happy one. July 5th, 2022.
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I was watching v for vendetta last night in what felt
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like a much more appropriate way to celebrate the holiday given
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recent events when revisiting the prison
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memoir scene i came to the realization that just
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about every personal essay i've written these last few years
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has been about something rather somber like a death in the family my divorce
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and mental health troubles or the need to process sexual trauma however seeing
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a character go through the worst imaginable circumstances and still choosing
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to record their memories, their happiest moments,
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made me realize that my future self will likely wish that I had done the same.
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I worry that right now, I may be living through my cabaret summer,
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one last period of happiness, undetermined in length, before shit hits the fan
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and the country decides they're significantly less cool with protecting the
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existence of people like me.
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I don't want to get this off on the wrong foot by sounding too foreboding,
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because I'm writing this to celebrate the fact that I'm currently the happiest
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I've been in quite some time, and these last three weeks have been by far some of the best in my life.
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I'm about four months into my life as Tommy, and three months on hormones.
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I'm out to my friends, my stateside family, and now my co-workers.
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Three weeks ago, I celebrated my first out pride and spent my day in Iowa City,
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running into every queer person I care about that I've met over this last year.
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There were dozens of people I knew that I kept running into and having short
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excursions and adventures with, most of whom exclusively know me as Tommy.
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I also kicked off the day with a lunch date with the first trans woman I ever
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even knew about in this state through mutual friends over 10 years ago.
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Even the low lights of the day, like missing my favorite local band's performance,
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the 42s, turned into good experiences, since by the end of the evening,
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I was hanging out with those very band members.
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In the moments between stops and events, when I had a second alone,
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I felt surprisingly comfortable being by myself, which is something I haven't often felt before.
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Last weekend, I threw my first quote-unquote birthday party as Tommy.
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I surround that in quotes since I've made the decision that if I'm changing
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my name and my gender, then dammit, I'm changing my awful December 23rd birthday
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as well, since I'm sick of being
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sad about it getting lost in the shuffle around Christmas every year.
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The turnout was great, some old friends got to see me as Tommy for the first
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time, and I got to host the largest gathering of queer and trans people most
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of the guests had ever seen.
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It was amazing to be at the center of a nexus of trans femmes,
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where some of my trans friends who aren't as fortunate to have others in their
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local circles were able to meet and relate to others for the first time in years.
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I got to show off my grilling and cocktail skills, my favorite holdovers from
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my time as Grant, and finally christened the fire pit I built in my backyard.
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As the party was winding down and the last few guests settled in to watch a
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movie, I got to cuddle up with both my date from Pride and another gorgeous
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trans femme gal I'd been crushing on for months while The Matrix Resurrections
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played in the background,
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which I'm sure is exactly how the Wachowski sisters hoped this movie would be watched.
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At the time of writing this, I'm winding down after a long holiday weekend that
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I spent with my now-girlfriend, who was willing to drive two hours to see me three weekends in a row.
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The two of us have been talking a lot these last few weeks. It turns out that
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since moving back to Iowa from Oregon, she's been pretty separated from the
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queer community, so being around me has been a very welcome change for her as well.
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We've recently discovered just how much we have in common.
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Our interests align in similar enough ways. We both hope to move to Oregon in
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the coming years, or sooner given the state's current political climate,
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And most of all, we have something in common that neither of us expected we
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would ever find in another partner.
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Something we've both always felt embarrassed to admit to other partners or friends.
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No, it's not a trans thing, and I won't say what it is here,
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but it's something that definitely endears us to each other,
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and is the type of thing people would write self-insert fanfictions about on
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the sites we've frequented in the past because of this.
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We spent the 4th of July inside, commiserating about the state of the country with a few friends.
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We skipped the fireworks show and instead enjoyed explosions and anarchy in
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the face of fascism, as presented by Hollywood's favorite trans woman in V for Vendetta.
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Which finally brings us to this morning. I don't pretend things have been all sunshine and rainbows.
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I'll admit there have been several hard times since I've started to come to
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terms with my trans identity.
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The first month was especially rough since when I wasn't just struggling with
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realizing I might be trans, I was also struggling with the realization that
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I didn't have anyone to come out to.
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The hormones have definitely started impacting my emotions, and there have been
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several moments where I've been left questioning whether the hormones are getting
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the better of me, or if these are justifiable reactions to past traumas.
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I know there's a lot of difficult moments in store for my future.
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I still have a very conservative father to come out to,
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and I'm sure my recent experience of getting misgendered while using the women's
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room at a queer bar by a cis dude doing coke with some straight girls in there
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no less, will be far from the last ridiculous misgendering that spoils an otherwise good evening for me.
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But these last few weeks have been, without a doubt, the best in my life.
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I finally feel like I have a future to look forward to, and for the first time
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in far too long, I'm actually happy about the person I'm becoming.
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For now, I'm trying to focus on what I have to look forward to in my immediate future.
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Tomorrow, I'm interviewing the writer of Dead Lucky for my podcast,
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a comic book about a Hispanic pansexual veteran who transforms into a superhero
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and fights tech bros with their giant robot.
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This writer also happens to be the director of production and development for
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Power Rangers over the last 10 years, meaning she's pretty much the perfect
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guest for giant-sized violence.
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I'm making promising progress on my graphic novel, When We Transform,
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and I'll be getting my first finished lettered pages for it later this week.
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Later in the month, I'll be visiting Portland, Oregon on my first ever solo
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trip as a way to see if I will in fact want to live there someday.
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And I'll be finishing the trip with a music festival in Washington with my favorite co-worker.
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I know both my country and personal
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life have moments ahead that are more difficult than I can imagine.
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But before I find myself in the hard times once again, I want to have this as
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a record of a time I was truly happy.
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A reminder that there is a life worth living out there, and that if only for
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a brief period of time, I would let a life flow of joy that my teenage self
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would have never thought possible.
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I'm going to hang onto this cloud for as long as I can, because the ones in
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the distance are starting to look pretty ominous.
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In revisiting this essay three years later, it's hard not to feel like I'm currently
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living under the dark clouds my past self saw in the distance.
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The recent events mentioned in the essay was referring to a trans youth sports
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ban that had just taken effect in the state of Iowa not long beforehand.
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When I watched the film again with another group of friends the next year,
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it was in the wake of a ban on gender-affirming care for those under the age
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of 18, as well as a trans bathroom ban for public school students.
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The year I write this, is the same year that my state became the first to remove
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gender identity from its civil rights protections, a change that's caused far
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too many friends, loved ones, and likely my future self to flee the state.
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While I worry about what this all means for my community, I look around to see
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other marginalized people facing dystopian nightmare conditions I can hardly imagine.
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My newsfeed is full of stories of men in masks taking people from their homes
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and jobs, separating their families, and throwing them into concentration camps.
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I see millions of Americans being stripped of healthcare access as the most
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vulnerable among us are forced to go hungry while the government decides just
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how much it's willing to spend on ballrooms, billionaire tax cuts, and Gestapo funding.
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It's not just the news that's making me feel so scared right now.
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I've come to expect fear-mongering from them.
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What really worries me is seeing how my doctors seem more frustrated and scared
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every time I visit them, as they've become visibly worn down after seeing so
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many patients whose gender-affirming care is no longer covered by Medicaid,
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while they face a never-ending barrage of attacks from conservative lawmakers.
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Even my therapist seems to be nearing the end of her rope.
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It's hard for her to inspire hope among our clients when so many of their mental
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health struggles are caused or exacerbated by the overall state of the country
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getting worse and the government continuing to target the most vulnerable among us.
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While I know the expectation during times like these is to reach for optimistic
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escapism, I find myself increasingly drawn to dystopian media lately.
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Weirder still, I find these stories oddly comforting.
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Reading Alan Moore's foreword to V for Vendetta and his mention of mass policemen
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and the eradication of queer language made me realize we've been here before.
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There's nothing okay about what's going on right now. But the good news is we
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have the power to stop it.
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Nations have come back from this level of fascism in the past and will do it
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again. The question is, how?
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Unfortunately, I'm just a comic book podcaster. I'm not the person you should
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be looking to for answers on how to stop fascism or save the world.
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I do read a lot of comics and stories about the subject, and historically,
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in mankind's search for answers, stories are a great place to start.
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You may be asking, what's a story going to do in the face of fascism?
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Well, one of the most celebrated pieces of alternate history dystopian fiction
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speaks to this directly.
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The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick is the first of many works to explore
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what the world would look like if the Axis powers had won World War II.
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Unlike its Amazon Prime TV adaptation, the book is not the Wolfenstein-style
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action thriller you might expect given its premise.
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Instead, it's a story focusing on the lives of everyday people in different
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regions of the former United States, now under German and Japanese control.
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The book's point-of-view characters are all affected in one way or another by
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the publication of a novel entitled The Grasshopper Lies Heavy,
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a work of speculative fiction that explores what their world would look like
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if the Allies had won World War II.
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While some dismiss the book entirely, it inspires a radical shift in the worldview
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among others, with one going as far as to seek out the book's author,
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the titular man in the high castle, to get a better understanding of the book's
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semi-supernatural origins and significance.
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When we never find out if the United States ever regains its independence,
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or if the Nazi party eventually collapses, we do see how one book challenging
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the narrative of the powers-that-be has the potential to change the world.
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The interweaving narratives show us how the ripple effects of storytelling and
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artistic expression can be what inspires someone to save the life of a complete
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stranger, to call into question what the world could be and our place in it,
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and how we can find cosmic truth even in a piece of fiction.
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By engaging with the story, our characters find themselves living in a better
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world, one step closer to the one seen in the novel.
00:16:45.216 --> 00:16:49.976
We see this same theme of how stories and ideas inspire people to action in
00:16:49.976 --> 00:16:54.136
both the film and graphic novel of V for Vendetta, but they approach the topic
00:16:54.136 --> 00:16:56.616
in very different and often conflicted ways.
00:16:57.256 --> 00:17:01.736
The film portrays the character of V as a revolutionary, whereas the graphic
00:17:01.736 --> 00:17:03.996
novel depicts him as a pure anarchist.
00:17:04.276 --> 00:17:09.036
The movie provides a much more cinematically satisfying experience as V goes
00:17:09.036 --> 00:17:12.716
down in a bullet-time blaze-of-glory knife fight where he kills the fascist
00:17:12.716 --> 00:17:17.536
heads of state as the people of London take to the streets dressed as V in a
00:17:17.536 --> 00:17:20.596
moment of collective action against the authoritarian regime.
00:17:21.016 --> 00:17:26.536
The graphic novel, on the other hand, emphasizes the importance of V as a temporary symbol.
00:17:26.876 --> 00:17:31.476
V is not meant to be the face of the revolution, but instead living proof that
00:17:31.476 --> 00:17:35.736
the government is not all-powerful, and in fact incredibly fragile.
00:17:35.976 --> 00:17:41.116
He passes the mantle of V to his companion, Evie, and faces a much less glamorous,
00:17:41.376 --> 00:17:44.116
though intentional, death at the hands of a single detective.
00:17:45.016 --> 00:17:48.176
Dominic Noble's YouTube series, Lost in Adaptation,
00:17:48.496 --> 00:17:52.936
has a great essay on how the comic does a much better job showing how fascist
00:17:52.936 --> 00:17:58.216
parties tend to eat themselves alive, as V manages to successfully pit the surviving
00:17:58.216 --> 00:18:00.356
members of the regime against each other,
00:18:00.616 --> 00:18:03.896
bringing his plans into fruition even after his own death.
00:18:04.983 --> 00:18:09.683
I don't point out these differences as a means of criticizing the film version of V for Vendetta.
00:18:10.003 --> 00:18:14.323
I believe an adaptation of any piece of dystopian fiction should speak to the
00:18:14.323 --> 00:18:15.623
world the viewer is living in.
00:18:15.963 --> 00:18:19.703
I don't think a faithful adaptation of the graphic novel would have resonated
00:18:19.703 --> 00:18:23.563
with Bush-era American audiences nearly as much as the film did.
00:18:23.963 --> 00:18:27.923
Some could argue that we would have been better off if the Wachowskis made an
00:18:27.923 --> 00:18:32.743
original IP inspired by V for Vendetta instead of taking so many creative liberties
00:18:32.743 --> 00:18:34.003
with the source material.
00:18:34.483 --> 00:18:38.163
After all, that's more or less what happened with their most famous film,
00:18:38.323 --> 00:18:42.743
The Matrix, which drew heavily from Grant Morrison's comic series, The Invisibles.
00:18:43.702 --> 00:18:48.082
However, going this route would have deprived audiences of seeing the retelling
00:18:48.082 --> 00:18:53.202
of Valerie's story on screen, and I firmly believe that this sequence alone
00:18:53.202 --> 00:18:55.522
justifies the entire film's existence.
00:18:56.142 --> 00:19:00.522
This scene has inspired a trans interpretation of this story among some viewers,
00:19:01.002 --> 00:19:05.102
both in the text itself and the behind-the-scenes motivations of keeping this
00:19:05.102 --> 00:19:06.802
scene unchanged in the adaptation.
00:19:07.482 --> 00:19:11.582
In a very literal sense, the role of V transcends gender.
00:19:11.842 --> 00:19:16.442
In the comic, while V is referred to with male pronouns, the story ends with
00:19:16.442 --> 00:19:17.862
Evie taking over the role.
00:19:18.302 --> 00:19:22.582
There are also clues in the medical diaries outlining the experiments performed
00:19:22.582 --> 00:19:28.022
on V in the Lark Hill concentration camp that could point to V being assigned female at birth.
00:19:28.262 --> 00:19:32.682
When going off the film adaptation alone, I've even heard some speculate that
00:19:32.682 --> 00:19:35.482
V and Valerie could in fact be the same person.
00:19:36.122 --> 00:19:40.182
I'm not here to convince anyone of a personal headcanon of V's identity,
00:19:40.182 --> 00:19:43.302
or to project transness on a fictional character.
00:19:43.642 --> 00:19:47.982
What I'm more interested in is how the Wachowskis' experience as,
00:19:48.102 --> 00:19:53.362
at the time, closeted trans women in Hollywood informed their approach in adapting this story.
00:19:53.582 --> 00:19:58.442
While there's much to say on this particular subject, comic scholar Elizabeth
00:19:58.442 --> 00:20:02.602
Sandifer summarizes it well in her essay by understanding her,
00:20:03.122 --> 00:20:05.122
V for Vendetta, as trans cinema.
00:20:05.382 --> 00:20:07.702
And I think I'll let her speak for herself.
00:20:08.382 --> 00:20:11.602
It is clear that a trans reading of the film is supportive.
00:20:12.542 --> 00:20:16.242
In addition to leaving the Valerie chapter unaltered in a way that nothing else
00:20:16.242 --> 00:20:21.642
in the original comic was, the changes made to the film similarly highlighted queer themes.
00:20:22.202 --> 00:20:24.562
Most crucially, the character of Gordon.
00:20:25.942 --> 00:20:30.042
His story is reworked to have him be a gay man who gives a moving speech about
00:20:30.042 --> 00:20:35.522
why he's in the closet, mourning how, after so many years, you begin to lose
00:20:35.522 --> 00:20:36.982
more than just your appetite.
00:20:37.322 --> 00:20:41.102
You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.
00:20:42.711 --> 00:20:47.211
It is impossible to read these lines as anything other than Lana Wachowski commenting
00:20:47.211 --> 00:20:51.471
upon living in the closet as a trans woman, having to put on a suit and pretend
00:20:51.471 --> 00:20:53.791
to be a man to continue to work in Hollywood.
00:20:54.511 --> 00:20:59.671
But in the end, it is, much like the original comic, the Valerie sequence that proves key.
00:21:00.391 --> 00:21:05.711
Her famous discussion of the very last inch, which is small and it is fragile
00:21:05.711 --> 00:21:08.211
and it is the only thing in the world worth having.
00:21:08.211 --> 00:21:12.871
We must never lose it or give it away, we must never let them take it from us,
00:21:12.911 --> 00:21:16.951
is a line that would have had obvious, powerful meaning to Lana Wachowski,
00:21:17.251 --> 00:21:19.891
a trans woman in the course of realizing herself.
00:21:21.031 --> 00:21:25.071
The realization that one's dysphoria and discomfort with their gender assigned
00:21:25.071 --> 00:21:29.151
at birth is not simply, as the Wachowskis described it a few films earlier,
00:21:29.451 --> 00:21:33.371
a splinter in your mind driving you mad, but in fact the vital,
00:21:33.551 --> 00:21:35.011
undeniable cornerstone of
00:21:35.011 --> 00:21:39.251
one's life and identity is a terrifying and literally transformative one.
00:21:39.931 --> 00:21:42.771
The fact is that Lana Wachowski, as a trans woman,
00:21:43.011 --> 00:21:44.491
especially a trans woman who
00:21:44.491 --> 00:21:48.111
began transitioning amidst the rampant homophobia of the early Bush era,
00:21:48.291 --> 00:21:52.311
when the queer community was locked in a seemingly abusing battle to get same-sex
00:21:52.311 --> 00:21:56.811
relationships a measure of legal recognition, where anti-sodomy statutes were
00:21:56.811 --> 00:21:58.491
still on the books and constitutional,
00:21:58.851 --> 00:22:02.771
and where trans rights were still a distant and politically unimaginable horizon,
00:22:02.771 --> 00:22:08.031
mostly existing as the thing gay activists could offer to throw under the bus as a compromise,
00:22:08.411 --> 00:22:12.971
had already undergone her own equivalent of Evie's despairing horror locked
00:22:12.971 --> 00:22:16.391
in her set, her terrified embrace of her last inch,
00:22:16.691 --> 00:22:20.271
her realization that it would be better to die behind the chemical sheds than
00:22:20.271 --> 00:22:24.351
give up who she was, and her rain-soaked apotheosis in rebirth.
00:22:25.151 --> 00:22:30.091
V for Vendetta was, in a fundamental sense, far more her story to tell than
00:22:30.091 --> 00:22:31.771
it had ever been Alan Moore's.
00:22:33.484 --> 00:22:36.824
In the afterword of the collected editions of V for Vendetta,
00:22:37.124 --> 00:22:41.104
Alan Moore jokingly ridicules those that ask writers the question,
00:22:41.384 --> 00:22:43.264
where do we get our ideas from?
00:22:43.844 --> 00:22:48.264
Kidding aside, it's an interesting question with no single definitive answer.
00:22:48.704 --> 00:22:53.344
While the afterword goes on to outline how Alan Moore and artist David Lloyd
00:22:53.344 --> 00:22:56.964
created the world of V for Vendetta, everything from the premise,
00:22:57.204 --> 00:23:01.624
the art style, and the character design for V, I'd like to go one step further.
00:23:02.504 --> 00:23:06.904
The symbol of V as an opposition to fascism predates Moore and Lloyd's creation
00:23:06.904 --> 00:23:09.084
of a vigilante in a Guy Fawkes mask.
00:23:09.344 --> 00:23:13.284
Modern American readers like myself may come to this story completely unaware
00:23:13.284 --> 00:23:18.984
of the memetic V for Victory campaign that dates at least as far back as World War II.
00:23:19.244 --> 00:23:22.964
There are conflicting stories about the exact origin of the term,
00:23:23.184 --> 00:23:27.484
but its use and meaning seem to have been shared throughout occupied Europe.
00:23:27.484 --> 00:23:32.124
The symbol was expressed with a hand gesture, similar to a peace sign,
00:23:32.364 --> 00:23:37.464
and was used as a rallying cry throughout Belgium, the Netherlands, France, and Britain.
00:23:38.244 --> 00:23:43.264
According to Victor de Lavallée, the former Belgian Minister of Justice who
00:23:43.264 --> 00:23:48.284
helped spread the message as director of the Belgian-French language broadcasts on the BBC, See,
00:23:49.044 --> 00:23:54.304
the occupier, by seeing this sign, always the same, infinitely repeated,
00:23:54.724 --> 00:23:56.764
would understand that he is surrounded,
00:23:57.324 --> 00:24:02.064
encircled by an immense crowd of citizens, eagerly awaiting his first moment
00:24:02.064 --> 00:24:05.544
of weakness, watching for his first failure.
00:24:06.838 --> 00:24:10.818
The V symbol would be widely popularized by Winston Churchill through his use
00:24:10.818 --> 00:24:15.738
of the salute and promotion of the V for Victory campaign, but it's the symbol's
00:24:15.738 --> 00:24:19.118
origins before this point where things get weird.
00:24:19.938 --> 00:24:23.978
British occultist Aleister Crowley is said to have invented the use of the V
00:24:23.978 --> 00:24:30.438
sign in 1941 as a magical counter sigil of sorts to combat the use of the swastika.
00:24:31.078 --> 00:24:36.118
The graphic novel, Alistair and Adolf, by media theorist Douglas Rushkoff and
00:24:36.118 --> 00:24:37.418
comic artist Michael Oming,
00:24:37.658 --> 00:24:41.778
explores a semi-fictitious account of the creation of this symbol,
00:24:41.938 --> 00:24:46.118
and re-examines this period of the war as a conflict over propaganda.
00:24:46.678 --> 00:24:50.238
I can only imagine that Alan Moore was aware of this connection,
00:24:50.478 --> 00:24:54.478
given his familiarity with the occult, and V even references Crowley multiple
00:24:54.478 --> 00:24:55.778
times throughout the book.
00:24:56.058 --> 00:25:00.318
While this may seem like a superfluous detail in the origins of V for Vendetta,
00:25:00.578 --> 00:25:04.578
I think this may actually be the key in using the symbol of V,
00:25:04.858 --> 00:25:08.038
the character, and opposing fascism in the modern day.
00:25:08.258 --> 00:25:13.858
See, in the comic, the culmination of V's work wasn't a big explosion and an act of violence.
00:25:13.918 --> 00:25:18.458
His plan may have involved violence, but violence wasn't his plan.
00:25:18.818 --> 00:25:23.998
His goal was to inspire people to break free of their society's shackles and
00:25:24.058 --> 00:25:28.278
create an age where, to do what thou wilt, shall be the whole of the law.
00:25:29.098 --> 00:25:34.258
In V's own words, amidst insurrection's clamor, we may easily forget just what
00:25:34.258 --> 00:25:35.638
it is for which we strive.
00:25:36.058 --> 00:25:41.558
Is it dancing, scented shoulders, pupils widened by desire or wine?
00:25:42.199 --> 00:25:50.019
Anarchy must embrace the din of bombs and cannon fire, yet always must it love sweet music more.
00:25:50.279 --> 00:25:56.619
This version of V never asked anyone except the person closest to him to put on the mask.
00:25:56.819 --> 00:26:01.739
I want us to remember that because V's Guy Fawkes disguise is not the first
00:26:01.739 --> 00:26:06.339
piece of Wachowski film imagery to be co-opted by a political group in a way
00:26:06.339 --> 00:26:08.639
the original authors never agreed to.
00:26:08.639 --> 00:26:13.099
We saw this with the alt-right's adoption of red pill, blue pill terminology
00:26:13.099 --> 00:26:17.299
from The Matrix, and we would see this again for V with the hacktivist group
00:26:17.299 --> 00:26:21.779
Anonymous adopting the Guy Fox mask in their protests and public appearances.
00:26:22.119 --> 00:26:26.159
While I'll admit this is far less objectionable than The Matrix example,
00:26:26.339 --> 00:26:28.159
it also means that using V,
00:26:28.399 --> 00:26:33.419
the character, as a means of protest visually associates you with a very specific
00:26:33.419 --> 00:26:37.719
political group and more than likely gives money to a multi-billion dollar corporation
00:26:37.719 --> 00:26:39.779
like Amazon or Time Warner,
00:26:39.979 --> 00:26:44.779
who currently owns the licensing rights to the image, and profits from every mask sold.
00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:49.419
The use of V's mask as a form of protest is where I begin to feel conflicted
00:26:49.419 --> 00:26:52.979
in revisiting the film version of V for Vendetta in a modern context.
00:26:53.459 --> 00:26:57.859
In a film, the idea of the people of London dressing up as an alleged terrorist
00:26:57.859 --> 00:27:02.639
and taking to the streets makes for a visually and emotionally satisfying climax
00:27:02.639 --> 00:27:04.139
to a story about revolution.
00:27:04.899 --> 00:27:09.639
In 2025, however, the people roaming the streets dressed like terrorists aren't
00:27:09.639 --> 00:27:11.879
concerned citizens ready to take a stand.
00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:15.939
They're the bigots willing to blame their problems on marginalized people groups
00:27:15.939 --> 00:27:20.219
deputized by the Trump administration to terrorize immigrant communities and
00:27:20.219 --> 00:27:23.139
commit an untold number of human rights violations.
00:27:23.459 --> 00:27:27.739
With that said, they're not the only people in masks that are part of this conversation.
00:27:27.999 --> 00:27:31.899
The Frogs of Portland have done a great job bringing attention to what's going
00:27:31.899 --> 00:27:36.719
on in their city, and the image of inflatable furries fighting fascism has made
00:27:36.719 --> 00:27:41.719
incredible headway in the effort to defang ICE agents in the collective imagination.
00:27:42.748 --> 00:27:46.748
This is all to say that, when incorporating a visual symbol in the fight against
00:27:46.748 --> 00:27:51.208
fascism, the question doesn't need to be whether or not to wear a mask,
00:27:51.448 --> 00:27:54.488
but instead, one's choice of costume.
00:27:54.988 --> 00:27:59.608
Now, as much as I love superheroes, furries, and superhero furries,
00:27:59.748 --> 00:28:03.568
I want to be clear that I don't believe the one-size-fits-all solution here
00:28:03.568 --> 00:28:07.428
is for us to put on a ridiculous costume and take to the streets.
00:28:07.748 --> 00:28:12.148
It's just one of many creative ways some of us can do our part.
00:28:12.548 --> 00:28:17.228
While I've loved the results I'm seeing so far, not everyone's role in this
00:28:17.228 --> 00:28:18.788
play requires a costume.
00:28:19.148 --> 00:28:25.708
And for some of us, it may specifically involve learning when and where to take our masks off.
00:28:26.888 --> 00:28:31.708
There's one more dystopian story I want to bring your attention to in this episode,
00:28:31.728 --> 00:28:35.908
and I think it's far more important than the others we've discussed today.
00:28:36.528 --> 00:28:40.408
It's not as well-known among modern American audiences as the others,
00:28:40.468 --> 00:28:44.088
and I want you all to consider this your homework from this episode.
00:28:44.348 --> 00:28:47.088
It's not a comic book or even a piece of fiction.
00:28:47.448 --> 00:28:51.508
It's something much more relevant to the trans community and our allies today.
00:28:52.028 --> 00:28:56.148
It's a German film from 1992 called I Am My Own Woman.
00:28:56.828 --> 00:29:00.748
Yes, I know some of you may be turned off by the idea of an old foreign film
00:29:00.748 --> 00:29:03.868
with subtitles, but I'm going to be honest with you for a second.
00:29:04.388 --> 00:29:09.228
I don't actually care if you've seen or read V for Vendetta or The Man in the
00:29:09.228 --> 00:29:13.208
High Castle, but I'm going to leave a link in this episode's description where
00:29:13.208 --> 00:29:17.048
you can legally watch I Am My Own Woman for free online,
00:29:17.468 --> 00:29:21.348
and it will genuinely mean the world to me if even a couple of you give it a chance.
00:29:22.476 --> 00:29:26.936
The film tells the story of Charlotte von Malsdorf, a queer activist,
00:29:27.176 --> 00:29:32.136
historian, and trans woman who lived in Germany from 1928 through 2002.
00:29:32.676 --> 00:29:37.896
It uses a unique fusion of both documentary and biopic film techniques as the
00:29:37.896 --> 00:29:41.756
real-life Charlotte shares her story with the viewer along with the young actors
00:29:41.756 --> 00:29:44.436
who are re-enacting the events of her life on screen.
00:29:44.976 --> 00:29:50.116
While it's by no means the most cinematic film, its aesthetic is honestly reminiscent
00:29:50.116 --> 00:29:56.116
of a PBS TV movie, its narrative is incredibly inspiring, and it may just be
00:29:56.116 --> 00:29:58.736
exactly what queer and trans folk need right now.
00:29:59.196 --> 00:30:02.816
While one would imagine that the recounting of her experience,
00:30:02.956 --> 00:30:06.776
surviving the horrors of Nazi Germany and a violent, abusive father,
00:30:06.996 --> 00:30:08.696
would make for a rather bleak story,
00:30:09.236 --> 00:30:13.476
the tone is counterbalanced by the moments of joy and self-exploration found
00:30:13.476 --> 00:30:18.196
in the welcoming spaces of her transmasculine aunt and accepting uncle that
00:30:18.196 --> 00:30:20.796
embraced her trans identity from an early age.
00:30:20.956 --> 00:30:24.996
We see Charlotte persevere through the oppressive occupation of East Berlin
00:30:24.996 --> 00:30:29.416
through her adult life, and her means of finding acceptance and community in
00:30:29.416 --> 00:30:30.956
the city's underground queer scene.
00:30:31.156 --> 00:30:35.836
Though the later years of her life depict her as a celebrated historian and
00:30:35.836 --> 00:30:40.496
public figure in Germany's gay community, the movie by no means ends by giving
00:30:40.496 --> 00:30:43.456
the viewer the idea that The bad times are over.
00:30:44.396 --> 00:30:48.256
Instead acts as a much needed reminder that while oppressive regimes come and
00:30:48.256 --> 00:30:53.176
go, there is a community to be found for those brave and curious enough to look for it.
00:30:53.456 --> 00:30:56.096
The hate persists, yet so does she.
00:30:56.476 --> 00:31:02.096
Living a happy, fulfilling, adventurous life. She is her own woman.
00:31:03.310 --> 00:31:08.290
As difficult as I fear the times ahead could be, I can't imagine them being
00:31:08.290 --> 00:31:12.510
nearly as bad as what Charlotte lived through, and if she was able to find community
00:31:12.510 --> 00:31:15.470
and moments of joy through it all, then so can we.
00:31:16.070 --> 00:31:19.730
Part of what makes the civil rights setbacks of the present feel so oppressive
00:31:19.730 --> 00:31:24.170
is that a lot of us grew up in a time where it seemed like things were getting
00:31:24.170 --> 00:31:26.950
better, and that we could see a brighter future ahead.
00:31:27.630 --> 00:31:31.970
Recent events can make it seem like that future is being taken away from us.
00:31:32.310 --> 00:31:36.630
In these moments of despair, I feel privileged to know queer elders who have
00:31:36.630 --> 00:31:41.550
seen these cycles before and can reassure us that this isn't the end of our story.
00:31:41.750 --> 00:31:45.770
One of those figures in my life is the young adult novelist Rachel Gold,
00:31:46.290 --> 00:31:50.530
writer of Being Emily, which is credited as the first YA novel to be written
00:31:50.530 --> 00:31:52.170
from a trans character's perspective.
00:31:52.530 --> 00:31:56.470
There are other instances of trans characters in YA fiction before this,
00:31:56.670 --> 00:32:00.990
but Rachel's novels are you're likely the first you'd actually want to give to a trans teenager.
00:32:02.167 --> 00:32:04.807
When things were looking the most bleak for trans rights in Iowa,
00:32:05.467 --> 00:32:07.667
Rachel was the one I was able to look to for hope.
00:32:08.047 --> 00:32:12.267
They told me of the experiences of activists fighting for basic health care
00:32:12.267 --> 00:32:17.547
resources and protections for those affected by the AIDS crisis throughout the 80s and 90s,
00:32:17.687 --> 00:32:22.247
and how the discriminatory bills passed during that time period were what laid
00:32:22.247 --> 00:32:25.667
the groundwork for the lawsuits that would secure some of the biggest queer
00:32:25.667 --> 00:32:27.967
rights victories over the next 20 years.
00:32:28.567 --> 00:32:33.527
Things that seemed inconceivable in their lifetime, like legal recognition of
00:32:33.527 --> 00:32:38.147
same-sex marriage, or the ability to receive gender-affirming care without navigating
00:32:38.147 --> 00:32:40.787
through years of red tape and medical gatekeeping,
00:32:41.347 --> 00:32:45.127
became a reality because of the battles they were forced to fight.
00:32:45.707 --> 00:32:50.427
This conflict may be rearing its ugly head once again, but don't think of this
00:32:50.427 --> 00:32:52.547
as a battle to preserve the status quo.
00:32:52.887 --> 00:32:56.947
Think of it as a fight for a better future than you ever thought possible.
00:32:57.707 --> 00:33:01.707
I'd like to take a second to highlight how I came into contact with Rachel Gold.
00:33:02.167 --> 00:33:07.207
It wasn't from seeking them out specifically, or from a past familiarity with their work.
00:33:07.507 --> 00:33:11.587
It was from sharing and celebrating the life and work of another Rachel,
00:33:12.067 --> 00:33:15.047
a friend and mentor of theirs, Rachel Pollack.
00:33:15.467 --> 00:33:20.427
I made a podcast episode last year hoping to bring attention to the first openly
00:33:20.427 --> 00:33:25.007
trans writer in mainstream comics, and a friend I met at FlameCon connected
00:33:25.007 --> 00:33:27.327
me with Rachel gold after hearing the episode.
00:33:27.767 --> 00:33:32.387
My life has now been directly impacted by Rachel Pollack's legacy in tangible
00:33:32.387 --> 00:33:37.007
and sometimes even spiritual ways, and it all happened because of my love of
00:33:37.007 --> 00:33:38.487
trans comics and stories.
00:33:40.012 --> 00:33:44.372
While stories may be at the center of how I'm navigating any number of ongoing
00:33:44.372 --> 00:33:48.992
crises, it's important that we keep an eye out for the ways we can get directly
00:33:48.992 --> 00:33:50.792
involved in alleviating suffering,
00:33:51.172 --> 00:33:54.892
opposing fascism, and steering the ship towards a better tomorrow.
00:33:55.192 --> 00:34:00.252
At the time of writing, SNAP benefits are on hold and or severely underfunded
00:34:00.252 --> 00:34:04.572
due to the ongoing government shutdown, and the repercussions of this lack of
00:34:04.572 --> 00:34:08.672
access to food are going to persist even after things are up and running again.
00:34:09.152 --> 00:34:13.112
There's any number of local food banks and similar organizations across the
00:34:13.112 --> 00:34:16.732
country that you can get involved with if you have the means to do so.
00:34:17.212 --> 00:34:21.812
Just this week, a friend who coincidentally happens to be named Valerie reached
00:34:21.812 --> 00:34:26.032
out about organizing a food not bombs chapter in my city, and I recommend you
00:34:26.032 --> 00:34:29.972
consider doing the same in the absence of an established local food bank.
00:34:30.452 --> 00:34:34.272
It's worth remembering that midterm elections are coming up next year.
00:34:34.692 --> 00:34:37.592
While I'm not a fan of most of the politicians in Washington,
00:34:37.972 --> 00:34:42.672
I know from experience that there are good working class people trying to make
00:34:42.672 --> 00:34:46.512
their communities a better place that are running for office on a local and
00:34:46.512 --> 00:34:49.052
state level, and they need your help.
00:34:49.512 --> 00:34:54.772
If you can't find one, be one. It's not too late to run for something yourself
00:34:54.772 --> 00:34:56.232
if you feel called to do so.
00:34:56.472 --> 00:34:59.892
There are countless ways for you to get involved with your community,
00:34:59.932 --> 00:35:04.052
and we're entering a time where it's going to be more important than ever that
00:35:04.052 --> 00:35:06.172
we all find a way to do our part.
00:35:06.372 --> 00:35:12.632
To quote my favorite Superman comic, it's all just us in here together, and we're all we've got.
00:35:13.052 --> 00:35:16.852
If you're not sure where to start, then I suggest looking to the stories that
00:35:16.852 --> 00:35:19.212
inspire you, wherever they may be.
00:35:19.552 --> 00:35:23.232
There may be times where even doing that isn't going to be easy.
00:35:23.512 --> 00:35:27.872
These last few years, friends of mine have had their books pulled from schools
00:35:27.872 --> 00:35:32.492
and libraries, I've seen queer media removed from platforms entirely,
00:35:32.752 --> 00:35:36.832
and there are clearly forces in this world that don't want our voices heard.
00:35:37.252 --> 00:35:41.392
But if you only take one thing from this episode, let it be this...
00:35:42.038 --> 00:35:45.178
At a time when they're trying to censor and hide trans voices,
00:35:45.578 --> 00:35:50.278
we need to make more art than they can ever destroy and make our voices louder
00:35:50.278 --> 00:35:51.718
than they can ever silence.
00:35:52.358 --> 00:35:56.318
I consider myself many things, and a storyteller is one of them,
00:35:56.478 --> 00:35:58.618
so I'm going to keep telling stories.
00:35:59.178 --> 00:36:03.578
Sharing and celebrating the comics, creative works, and voices of others has
00:36:03.578 --> 00:36:07.638
shaped my life over the last few years in ways I would have never imagined.
00:36:07.638 --> 00:36:12.358
In fact, our next episode is something of a vision-made reality for me,
00:36:12.598 --> 00:36:16.598
fulfilling a goal I've had since I first started podcasting about comic books.
00:36:16.878 --> 00:36:21.638
So please, believe me when I say that stories have the power to shape countless
00:36:21.638 --> 00:36:23.638
worlds, including our own.
00:36:23.878 --> 00:36:27.878
Keep reading, keep writing, and keep transcending.
00:37:46.170 --> 00:37:48.990
Some quick music credits and acknowledgements before we go.
00:37:49.150 --> 00:37:52.970
I'd like to give a huge thanks to the musicians who contributed to this episode.
00:37:53.130 --> 00:37:56.950
Thanks to Amdrag for providing the guitar backing tracks they've used on their
00:37:56.950 --> 00:37:58.570
YouTube channel of the same name.
00:37:58.690 --> 00:38:02.850
A Small Bird for putting together an instrumental version of their beautiful
00:38:02.850 --> 00:38:08.010
song, The Woods Again, and scoring the Let's Do a Happy One segment with it.
00:38:08.230 --> 00:38:12.230
And to Artist Ancient Summer for providing instrumentals their songs Rising
00:38:12.230 --> 00:38:16.390
Tides and Deeper Than the Rubble. You can find links to support all of these
00:38:16.390 --> 00:38:17.970
musicians in today's show notes.
00:38:18.230 --> 00:38:22.550
Also, shout out to Elizabeth Sandefur and Amdrag for lending their voices for
00:38:22.550 --> 00:38:23.810
the quotes in today's episode.
00:38:24.210 --> 00:38:27.810
Also, thanks to the people who have given me hope in what's otherwise been a
00:38:27.810 --> 00:38:29.510
very scary time in my state.
00:38:29.910 --> 00:38:33.450
Specifically, Rachel Gold, Amy Wickendahl, and Zoe Zephyr.
00:38:33.590 --> 00:38:38.350
I also recommend our listeners check out the podcast Team Human by Douglas Rushkoff,
00:38:38.350 --> 00:38:42.310
which has been a major inspiration for today's episode and a great reminder
00:38:42.310 --> 00:38:45.570
of all the small ways we can get involved in helping our communities.
00:38:46.030 --> 00:38:50.090
Thank you for listening to Transcending Comics, and thank you again to everyone
00:38:50.090 --> 00:38:51.610
who helped make this episode happen.
00:38:51.950 --> 00:38:54.870
Whatever comes next, we'll get through this together.