#44: Still Deconstructing: A Review of When the Music Fades by Lucy Sixsmith, Soul Survivor, Mike Pilavachi, and British Evangelicalism

Content note: This episode contains references to emotional and sexual abuse (in passing), religious trauma, and faith deconstruction. Listen with care — or skip it and make yourself a very large cup of tea.

If you grew up in the British evangelical world in the 2000s; Soul Survivor festivals, worship tents, Saturday night cry sessions, this one's for you.

I'm back (sort of-- still technically on maternity leave, still recording voice notes on my phone while my baby naps) with an episode that surprised even me in how much it brought up.

I'm reviewing the book When the Music Fades, by Lucy Sixsmith: a book about the Soul Survivor generation, power, surrender, and the long shadow of Mike Pilavachi.

Here's what I cover:

• Who this episode is for: British millennial and Gen Z ex-vangelicals or still in the Faith, Soul Survivor alumni, the deconstructing, the adjacent, and the "not sure where I fit anymore"
• The Mike Pilavachi safeguarding investigation in 2023, what came out, and why people were shocked but not entirely surprised
• Why I recommend the book even to people still within faith
• How Soul Survivor shaped not just individual faith but the entire British evangelical and Christian culture
• The cross-pollination of evangelical culture across youth groups, camps and festivals, including a reference to my own chapter in the Routledge Handbook on Compulsive Sexual Behaviour and Clinical Sexology edited by Silva Neves
• How the constant message of "empty yourself, you are nothing" was psychologically damaging, especially for teenagers whose prefrontal cortexes weren't even fully formed yet and zero life experience
• How Mike's "average bloke" persona masked very real coercive power dynamics
• How the songs we sang everywhere were shaped by emotional manipulation and how that shaped our beliefs
• Who actually benefits from surrender culture, and why the same question applies to spiritual cults, tantra cults, and Tony Robbins events
• Manufactured emotion, peak states, and why chasing the next breakthrough doesn't work for healing
• My own experience with ME/CFS, being prayed over, and choosing getting better over being a good Christian
• The chocolate cake analogy, unqualified sex talks, and how purity culture messaging shows up in adult women's bodies

• What the next generation's deconstruction might look like and what new version of Soul Survivor will come out

Get the book: When the Music Fades by Lucy Sixsmith https://canterburypress.hymnsam.co.uk/books/9781786226150/when-the-music-fades

Read the independent safeguarding review into Mike Pilavachi (2024): https://lawandreligionuk.com/2024/09/26/soul-survivor-independent-review-report/

The Routledge Handbook on Compulsive Sexual Behaviour and Clinical Sexology, ed. Silva Neves: (I wrote a chapter on the harms of purity culture)

https://www.routledge.com/Handbook-of-Compulsive-Sexual-Behaviour-and-Clinical-Sexology/Neves/p/book/9781032512860

Did purity culture leave you feeling numb in your body, unsure what you even want, or hitting a wall when your partner asks what feels good? My From Numb to Pleasure course bundle was made for exactly this.

These courses are about building that capacity back, on your own terms, at your own pace.

From Numb to Pleasure course bundle: https://lucyrowett.podia.com/numb-to-pleasure-bundle

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0MdbEOJW9nXRqLsAMSTRAn?si=13d9a8abecfe4ac0Follow on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-naked-unashamed-life/id1682478750

Connect with me:

Website: https://lucyrowett.com/Free practice to move from numbness to feeling again: https://bit.ly/feelagainpractice1:1 coaching: https://lucyrowett.com/liberated-coaching-program/

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Produced and hosted by Lucy Rowett

Cover art by Lucy Rowett

Music by Tom M at Filmstro