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Alexander, how do you pronounce your name actually, bro?
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Because in Portuguese we say Al Shan.
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Alexander Robbie.
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Robbie Barrow, there you go.
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Alexander calls you by Robbie, right?
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Uh yeah, why everyone calls me Alex?
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Alex, mate, I remember you actually brought me down memory lane because you showed me some pictures of us on stage in the end of the 75s.
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I think it was like 2011 or 14 or something around that.
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Yeah, bro.
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And then man, I brought back some massive memories, and obviously along the way, you've had your journeys and I've had mine, and it seems like it's come full circle in alignment with because the work that I've worked on and the work that you've worked on seem to complement each other quite well.
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I guess they're not musically exclusive, but they're two very similar areas.
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And um and I just had to have you on because like as you know with I Off a Project, we talk about mindset.
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But there's one thing that I'm I'm always very familiar with is the understanding that people need a lot of us force ourselves into situations that we don't feel like, oh, we really want to do this, we want to do it this way.
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But really it has to be almost like a relaxing to it.
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You almost have to flow into it.
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And the first thing you do is you have to come back into yourself to balance that energy.
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So just tell us exactly what it is that you do when it comes to energy and nervous system resetting.
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Yeah, so um along the years, I've been a personal trainer, coach, prep mentor.
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Um, through this evolution of the last sort of seven years, I've attuned myself to become a Reiki master.
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I do massage therapy, um, I've understood the prompt uh the principles and concepts of acupressure in the fascia system.
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Uh so now when I combine all of those areas together, I've created my own modality, which I call elevated energetics, um, where I become a nervous system reset specialist.
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Um where we are able to acknowledge the thought patterns, the limiting beliefs and the things inside of us due to whatever thoughts, feelings, emotions, and situations that have happened in life that cause us to have the personality traits that we have, which then stop us from being more than we need to, or more than we are at that present point in time.
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So, yeah, I mean that to me makes perfect sense.
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And really, what you're saying is like it just recenters ourselves to take that accountability, but also to release the energies that we've held from the trauma that we actually haven't processed.
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And those energies affect us at a neurological level physically.
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Correct.
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So when you talk about a nervous reset, you're talking about re working on those energies to which in turn resets the nervous system.
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Correct.
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So no matter how good or bad a situation has been within our life, um, our central nervous system, our fascist system remembers it.
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So if there's been situations that our body hasn't felt safe in or been able to express properly, then our nervous system holds on to it.
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So it could be as far back or as little as your parents saying no to you for something that you wanted as a kid, um, turned around and walked out of the room, and that creates an abandonment issue.
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Um self-worth issue because it's like, oh, I couldn't get what I wanted at that point in time.
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Uh so it doesn't have to be anything overly traumatic at that same point.
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No, exactly, especially at that age.
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Like you're still based on alpha level between up until about six or seven.
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So even if a mother says, No, you can't get that because you don't deserve it, you've been naughty, that can can affect their nervous system and how they perceive themselves.
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Obviously, when they're older, they can differentiate yes, okay.
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I understand what she means, but you're still carrying that energetic trauma as well, which is the conflict.
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So I completely yeah, but I get it completely get what you're saying.
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But I one thing that I find is really, really hard, like, and you've heard the Lighthouse principle where we know we can't go, we can't help people, we can just be an example, and whether people want to be helped or not, that's up to them.
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But I do find that from my perspective, when I see this and I can see the changes and the benefits it has, but the people that seem to need it the most are the ones holding on to the story tighter.
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So, based on your journey and your experience, what what things can you say to someone like that or give them the energy or like making them just accept that there may be a different perspective to their story?
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Uh well, it goes back to a post I put up recently.
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If nothing changes, nothing changes.
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Um so when we can understand that what we've been doing hasn't got us to the result that we want, we need to create a change.
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Um, so whether or not it's the environments that we sit within, the people that we hang around, the music and the information that we listen to, the things that we watch, we've always got a way to level up.
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Um, to take life to a new level, we need to change our perspectives.
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So doing more from ourselves and looking deeper within will always allow reality to give us more from what we want.
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Um, it again is that internal state.
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Exactly.
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And is that what you want for yourself?
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Because it's like that's that's what most people say.
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And the thing is I find that when like we use the word level up, uh let's let's uh ascend.
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But from layman's terms, when people hear that, it seems like, oh, there's gonna be more work.
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And we all have to do work, but there's already this energetic feeling of like it's more work up and away.
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But really, it should be more work in and down.
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M more inward, right?
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And I think that's the one thing.
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You know, yeah, and basically the idea is like I don't need to improve on certain things I'm not.
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The only job you really have is to go deeper in yourself and understand yourself better.
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Like and then that in itself is the level up where you start to then attract the things that you align with.
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And I think I mean w we've all been b victims of this.
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Um when I say victims of the unaware of our subconscious, because there's things that we do purely out of reactive behavior and pain, and we think we're in control until we realize, oh shit, I wasn't, and then comes the guilt and all that type of stuff that we have to process and accept.
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But I like I think if we're in an unaware state, it's not your fault.
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You're like a child who just doesn't know any better.
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But once you become aware, now you're gonna perpetuate the mistake.
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And I think that that's what people need to kind of like say, Well, even if the environment is out to get me, I'm still the one who put myself in it.
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I still created it.
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Yeah, and 100%.
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I always say to most people that I speak to, it's not about stopping life and its situations, because life's never going to stop handing you situations.
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It's not about trying to control these situations.
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We can only control the way that we react to these situations.
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So that way our reactions create a better perspective moving forward.
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Um but with that being said, the ability, or should I say, within the healing journey, I like to call it an onion.
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The more we peel back, the more we uncover.
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So going deeper again within ourselves.
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But where I like to say when we peel back, we understand that a little bit further.
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The more we peel back, the easier it gets, like training.
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The the more bicep reps do, the easier it begets.
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We can do lift heavier things.
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So it's not about trying to control the outcome, it's about creating the capacity within your nervous system to be able to deal with life and what it's got to throw at you.
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And look, may you hit the head on the nail, because I think this is one thing why I'm so attracted to the work that you do is that people might see it as a quick fix or symptom regulator.
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I'm stressed, I'll go see Alex to get some breath work, calm myself down, but then they might step away for quite a while before they come back.
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Other people know they actually, their their mindset is more processed, that it becomes a habit for their life.
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So and I genuinely think it's like sometimes we're on a way that we all say, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do some shadow work and inner work.
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But the deeper we go, the the worse it gets, really, because we get to a point where we realize things that we liked, we were conditioned to like and be attached to, where really deep inside, we never did.
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We just we associated another memory, another experience with that.
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So we start telling like, fuck, I don't really like that.
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And and then it's in those moments that the energy starts to shift because your ego kicks in and then becomes that energetic battle that leads to stress and stuff.
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Plus, life is happening at the same fucking time.
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Exactly.
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And and that's when people think, well, I'm doing the work, I don't need to.
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But the energy has to be constant while you're doing the work.
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It's like an absolute necessity.
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100%.
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Um what I do and how I try to teach people, especially through my mentoring programs, you come see me, we release the body, we release the energy and things like that.
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But it's all of the little tasks and accountability that you need to do day to day that creates the habits.
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So as we know, it takes 21 days to make or break a habit.
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So if you can do something for a month, then you shift that mindset perspective.
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If you tell yourself that you're worthy of receiving something for a month every day, um, you're gonna be able to shift that perspective and that energetic field within you that allows that to happen.
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They might sound silly to the typical person, but these are the things that are wired, as you said, into our subconscious frame that makes us believe that we're not worthy enough to receive it or whatever the case may be.
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Um, so we just have to rewire it.
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It's about doing those things consistently and then just doing it again for the next level of your life that you want to receive.
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Reprogramming.
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And and like and that's the thing, it's like you need in order to so I don't know how to put this in a Lanewind's way.
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When you're actually doing the work and you're in that situation where you you're confronted by an environment that would create a an old reactive behavior.
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Okay, and you are aware that you have a reactive behavior.
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You're trying to control it, but human nature, it becomes that self-preservation, and with an habitual behavior that you've done over the years, it's gonna come up.
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And you're gonna try and hold them, and there's gonna be a force of energy where you're dealing with that, and then you're struggling within yourself.
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So sooner or later it's gonna pop.
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Hundred percent.
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And this is where I think it's like we're aware we're doing the work, but then we feel like we're failing.
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But the only thing we're failing at is It's in those moments that I think you need to go back to your training where you go, okay, hold on, I can feel it.
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Now comes the breathwork.
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Now I come with the mental relaxation.
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And that's when it becomes in handy, or when to where you can learn to release and meditate, and in that moment so that you have time to calm your reaction.
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And then process your response.
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Definitely, 100%.
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Um we we've all got those call them safety nets that we go back to.
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Like, don't get me wrong, as I said, I'm only human.
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I still have overreactive behaviors in situations, and I and I the biggest part about it is if I overreact in a situation now, I catch myself in it or just after it and I rectify my problem.
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Um and it's usually with my kids and they frustrate me or whatever the case may be.
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Um but the ability to identify it before it even gets there, as you say, before it erupts like the volcano.
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You need to see your patterns and what your triggers are and how your body feels before it even gets close to that point.
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Absolutely.
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Mate, I'll share with you.
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I've had this personal experience, like obviously we've had our fair share of relationships, and every time I've actually grown more and more because I do do some inner reflection.
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And um, I guess I'm just as guilty as the next person, but I am ashamed to say that I've been confronted by my own reactive behavior and realized that my I I was a cause of a lot of issues that I had in my past.
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And it wasn't about changing myself in order to make my partner happier, it was about changing myself so no matter what situation I'm in, I'm happier.
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Like I I want to control my own emotions, not allow somebody else to do that.
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But I realized that in some situations I was really good at finding my response.
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I had I was calm, I was compassionate.
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My kids saw an example of it and they complimented me and they said, Dad, I can't the person that you are.
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And it inspired them to take accountability at school with their teachers and friends and always self-reflect because we can only make ourselves happier.
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And I've had an experience with the loss of my brother and some personal issues with family that were really bad and brought up embeddement issues, abuse issues, stuff like that.
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And in dealing with my partner, I found she mirrored those traumas to me.
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She's not the same people, but I was having the same reactive behavior.
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And and I was very much aware of that, and I I would share that with her.
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But what I realized like is at the same time, I was more reactive purely because I hadn't fully processed or released that stuff.
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I had managed it.
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But if I had completely released that, then I may not even have had that assertive reactive energy come through.
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So as much as we think we're doing the work and we're kicking ass, there's always a few people still left to pick up and throw out, you know, that we have to release.
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So which brings me to my next question.
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Like, this is why I love your work.
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So the work that you do, I would like to know something about you that nobody else knows but you wish people did, which has led you to doing the work you're doing.
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The constant pushing of my mental state and its ability through my physical body.
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Um, whenever I was told that I can't do something, I found a way to make sure that I was able to do it.
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Um, so before I became a personal trainer, I was an electrician.
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Um, I worked on the tools for two and a bit years, only did a bit of about a year or so into my TAFE apprenticeship on the study side of things.
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Um working on a Saturday destroyed my knee coming down a ladder.
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Worked on it for three months and destroyed it.
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I ended up having three knee operations.
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My last one was an experimental operation that they um took out the cartilage and ligaments in the second operation and regrew artificial ones and stitched it back into my knee.
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Um, so then I was locked in a leg splint for 12 weeks at 180 degrees, so I couldn't bend my leg.
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Uh put on close to 20 kilos because I was just eating a loaf of bread every day in bed and watching TV, just being a fat lazy shit.
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Just depressed.
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Yeah, yeah, 100%.
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Um, that was when I went through my first bout of depression, anxiety, and suicide attempted, to be honest.
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I went through big suicide ideations.
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But the doctors told me back then that I wouldn't be able to do anything physical with my leg.
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They said, find a desk job and good luck with whatever you need to do.
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So, with that being said, I signed myself up into a gym, I lost all the weight, I realized how good I could feel, um, rehabbed my own knee, then took me into the personal trainer life, and that was the biggest factor.
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You tell me I can't do, so I'm gonna do everything to prove you wrong.
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Yeah, and now it's probably shifted where you do it because it's just who you are.
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100%.
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You know, it's like it's becoming that awareness.
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You know, people will look at a guy like you, and and uh, I've been in the same shisb.
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That that's true strength.
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True strength is sitting in the fire when everybody wants to get out.
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And you might be screaming, you might be quiet, you might be in pain, but you're still in the fucking fire.
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And then you learn how to manage that, then you learn to get to a point where you're no longer expressing it, then you get to a point where you're actually quite comfortable in it, and then you choose to be in the fire because that's when you know you you're at your hardest.
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You're growing out the time you're there.
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You know, and um it's one of those qualities that we very rarely see.
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People that are inside the fire are the ones to make a marriage loss, are the ones who keep working on it.
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They're the ones who never give up on their kids.
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Uh but nowadays you see people from an emotional reaction, they just sound like at the end, you know, you leave a job, you know, just because they're just not comfortable or someone said the wrong word, you know.
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Well, and then that to me doesn't show commitment to self.
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So what you've done to me is one of the qualities that I think we need more of.
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Thank you.
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Um, I I I really put it down to the bodybuilding side of things that I did for many years.
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It created discipline, consistency, resilience.
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Um, and I purposely prepped in season B every year.
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So it was over my birthday, so I didn't have to celebrate my birthday.
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Everybody would ask me out, I wouldn't cheat on my meals.
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Like, if you tell me I need to do something, I'm gonna find the hardest way to do it, to push myself in every mental aspect, physical aspect, and everything else.
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Um bother.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Um, it was never really about winning and coming first for me.
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It was about just becoming better than the year I did before.
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If I could do it quicker, easier, whatever.
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Yeah, look, and that's the same thing, you know.
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I was uh was it was a Jordan Peterson, I think, was talking to a guy who was a Navy SEAL and he pretty much said uh I've got him in my head.
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Anyway, he was saying to the dude, uh what make why are you set up proud?
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Like, what do you do?
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He goes, I'm I'm a SEAL, I'm a Navy SEAL.
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So what makes what why is that special?
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And he goes, Oh, because uh yeah, because of the training.
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He goes, Yeah, it's not because of the career, it's because of what you had to endure to become a SEAL.
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And now that you've done that, there's a certain aspect about yourself because you've proven to yourself that you're a beast.
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And then it doesn't matter which SEAL you are, you might have different ranks, but every seal is a seal.
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There's no competition, there's just you're just a warrior, you're not a soldier, right?
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And I think the same thing is the same aspect when it comes to our spirituality.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:21.039
You you that sort of quality is something that people don't recognize, and then sometimes it confronts them, and I think it comes with an insecurity that we then believe the story that we've been told, that we pushed too hard.
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:22.079
Why are you doing that?
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:23.680
That doesn't make sense.
00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:38.960
And um, but navigating that then goes back to the work that you do because that used to create a negative energy when now it's actually a processed energy, and you can actually see people are just responding for their own subconscious and their own energy no longer affect you.
00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:40.160
Yeah.
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:45.279
Um back then I processed thoughts, feelings, emotions with training.
00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:49.279
I wouldn't leave a session until I couldn't walk if I was doing legs or whatever.
00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:51.920
Um, so sitting with your demons in the gym.
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:57.200
Now I sit with whatever demons come up, thoughts, feelings, and emotions, because I make them my best friend.
00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:58.799
Um that's the best thing.
00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:03.680
If you can't talk to them and understand them, then they're always going to be scary for you.
00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:07.920
Um the only reason they're scary, bro, is because they're not getting attention.
00:19:09.119 --> 00:19:12.240
You know, when you actually confront them, you realize, fuck, they're not that big.
00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:14.160
Like they're actually quite a small little problem.
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:16.720
It's just you've got a loud box, a loud buck, you know.
00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:18.480
Exactly that.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:31.039
Um and it it comes back down to I I guess if you want to put it, I say most of us adults are really just the little kid that needs attention living in an adult's body.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:42.079
So the reason why it's so scary is because the little boy or little girl inside of us still hasn't dealt with the fear or the insecurity of having to deal with something and feeling safe.
00:19:42.319 --> 00:19:48.400
We are still that little person in an adult's body dealing with the emotions that we haven't dealt with as a kid.
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.440
Yeah, exactly.
00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:54.720
And what happened and as an adult, whatever happens to us, that kid still gets affected by it.
00:19:54.960 --> 00:20:07.839
Because it's the end, they're just growing bigger with more pain and more pain until you actually stop and give them a hug and pick them up and recognize what it is that they need, and maybe even to say to them, Look, kid, your story's slightly twisted.
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:09.200
That's not really what happened.
00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:10.880
I know that's what it looked like.
00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:14.240
And that just in itself will make a massive difference, you know.
00:20:14.319 --> 00:20:15.599
Like the simplest things.
00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:20.720
Kid once he's mum, she has to hang the washing, he might feel abandoned, but no one's fault, right?
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:28.640
And I think this journey has also helped me to be um a lot more open and vulnerable with my kids about my reality and my reactiveness.
00:20:28.720 --> 00:20:36.400
And I always questioned whether I was doing the right thing, because people said, Oh, you you shouldn't tell them that much, you shouldn't be, you know, like protect, protect, protect.
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:39.920
And I was like, I wasn't protected as a kid.
00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:50.640
I think I was conditioned because the adults growing up use that as an excuse to say to themselves, we want to keep the illusion that we know what we're doing.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:53.279
Not that they're fucking trying to protect you.
00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:59.519
So I think I will I will challenge any adult who's a parent not to reflect that on themselves and actually get to that point.
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:04.960
And the reality is for myself, I thought, no, that's I didn't get guidance on how to manage my emotions.
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:06.559
I didn't get the example.
00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:09.519
I got taught how to have conditioned behavior.
00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:13.279
So with them, I tell them, this is my thought present.
00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:15.920
I think it might be because of this, or it might be because of that.
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:19.519
When my daughter talks and she says, I had this, okay, stop.
00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:20.079
What happened?
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:20.880
Where were they?
00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:22.240
Why did that upset you?
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:24.079
Why I I go back into her.
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:26.799
So now she's got that that habit.
00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:30.000
So it's an internal dialogue.
00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:37.839
So before you even react, or you you're feeling angry, you process the emotion, say, Well, that person made me angry.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.640
But then you don't blame the person, you blame the feeling.
00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:44.960
It's like, my brain made me angry by what that person said.
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:46.720
Why did my brain make me angry?
00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:54.079
And you continue to Yeah, you don't and that's the thing, kids nowadays they don't.
00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:59.839
The moment they feel some sort of um stress or negativity energy, like maybe being up on a jungle jam.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.440
or not being allowed to go play.
00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:06.480
Parents want to comfort rather than help them process.
00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:17.039
And I I yeah, I j I believe if they if a parent was doing the work they might might feel the benefit of that release and that that man, it's actually not that big a deal.
00:22:17.359 --> 00:22:21.359
And if you have that energy when you talk to a kid, you watch them right away, right?
00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:23.359
Just calm right down, right?
00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:24.880
Because your energy's calm.
00:22:25.039 --> 00:22:26.079
So they just responding.
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:26.880
They freaked out.
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.880
You're not they just go, oh cool, we're safe.
00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:30.720
It's not as bad as I thought it was.
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:30.960
Yeah.
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:38.319
Yeah no and and um there's no situation there will ever be as bad as your negative response to it.
00:22:38.720 --> 00:22:56.480
100% um on what you were saying with the kids my son's 10 my daughters eight um but I have to speak to them like adults because if I speak to them like little kids they actually show me disrespect because I'm not teach uh speaking to them the same way that they see me speak to everybody else.
00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:00.160
So I'm very open and expressive with my kids.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:03.359
Some may say that I'm too open and expressive with my kids.
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:20.559
But if they can learn it now at this age and understand their thoughts, feelings and emotions and the processes that they have to do at this age, then they're not going to suffer when they hit 30 or whatever, when everybody hits depression and anxiety and everything else.
00:23:20.960 --> 00:23:40.640
You know I had this discussion with some friends and one of them said to me I think you're too involved and you you're on top of your kids and I the the reality is in my ripe old age I've learned enough not to personalize it and my first feeling was like wow this is coming directly from their experience as a child and how their parents work.
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:43.200
So it perceived my behavior as controlling.
00:23:43.279 --> 00:23:44.960
It has nothing to do with me.
00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:55.440
And in fact I said to oh look I can understand why you get that perspective but I do feel like I want to give you a hug because you don't realize that I'm not actually on top of them.
00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:58.000
I'm next to them saying I'm right here.
00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:03.599
And whatever you need I'm not here to solve your problem I'm here to support you solve your problem.
00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:08.000
And there's nothing that you haven't done that I haven't done.
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:11.519
There's no silly mistake or any pain that I haven't done.
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:17.440
You might do something different that I haven't but I've done something the other way and we've had the same experience.
00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:21.839
So just because I don't like it is coming from a place of love.
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:31.039
And my our only job is to support each other to choose to be happy in whatever environment we find ourselves in.
00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:50.400
And to me my son I'm the first person he calls if he has something to talk about and and you'll take his time you'll process it and then you'll ring me and to me it's I haven't got oh what's going on with your day why don't you share you should do this and when I talk to him I go back to him what do you feel why would you want to do that?
00:24:50.559 --> 00:24:51.680
Is there a reason for it?
00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:59.680
Where's that reason coming from Dad you can be no I just want you to really go into yourself and do what's best for you.
00:24:59.839 --> 00:25:04.720
Not what you think I want or your mother or your fucking boss or your girlfriend.
00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:21.440
What you want and you have to process it because you have to deal with the consequences would be more of if they could see I can talk to my dad because he's a living example of what I'm doing.
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:30.000
He's just at a different level 100% Everything in life happens through a seven year cycle.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:37.279
So whatever we don't process and deal with in that first seven years of life will happen every seven seven years.
00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:39.119
It just won't happen the same way.
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:44.640
It will bring up the same situations and feelings for you so that way you can acknowledge it and process it.
00:25:45.680 --> 00:26:00.400
So again we I I I feel one of the big things where I wanted to touch on before when you said as well where we say we're doing the work the issue I find with a lot of people is we do a lot of mental understanding.
00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:12.799
So it's like oh we can process that this is an abandonment wound it's a self-worth issue it's an anger frustration issue or whatever and pinpoint to an area of where it was related to in our life.
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:13.279
Yeah.
00:26:13.839 --> 00:26:30.400
Every time we peel back that layer we need to find and uncover another reason why that little bit further is which is why I say our triggers are actually a blessing because the reason why we have that trigger is to what we need to acknowledge within ourselves.
00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:40.720
So when relationships aren't there to make you happy they're there to make you conscious hundred percent exactly what you just said yeah bruh.
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:48.640
Yeah so it's about understanding those patterns and responses that we have and why we still live within them.
00:26:48.880 --> 00:28:03.279
So again where we have this mental understanding and awareness we do it on one layer of of our being I say our being's made up of four fundamental pillars we've got our physical body we've got our mental body we've got our emotional body and we've got our energetic body so if we've got our energetic state or sorry our mental state all the way up here but our physical state and nervous system is still down here we've got too much room bouncing in between which is why we feel like we're going up and down like a yo-yo it makes perfect sense if we bring our energetic state to our physical state which is then in line with our emotional state and our intellectual state then we can rise as a being completely like the links because then we balance that's right like the links of a chain if one link is broken the moment you pull on it it's gonna slap so if we create all links to be extremely strong just as strong as the weakest link as the saying goes you can only be as strong as your weakest link make your weakest link the strongest bring it to the next level bring it to the next level so as we bring our level up we're bringing our mental awareness our physical awareness our energetic and our emotional awareness to the same level.
00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:12.640
Mate so I'm gonna paraphrase that for somebody that's never done spiritual work because I literally had this discussion because I was trying to get this content across to one of my clients.
00:28:12.880 --> 00:28:25.519
Yeah and um I use the same analogy but instead of the different levels I use the different exercise you want a healthy lifestyle it's nutrition it's weight training it's moving it's uh meditating it's getting to bed early all these things.
00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:32.880
And he often complains bro I'm doing the work and I'm doing this and I'm sticking it to the diet I'm I get to my training sessions and I do my check-ins.
00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:41.519
I'm like bro a check-in isn't any work check-in is more work for me than for you like you're not that just because you do a check-in doesn't mean I've done the work I'm doing my check-in.
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:48.400
Yeah the work comes in showing up to sessions which he does but does he do his walks?
00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:49.839
Does he do his meditation?
00:28:50.079 --> 00:28:54.400
No he doesn't and I'm like bro so he's like can we up the sessions?
00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:55.599
Can we change my diet?
00:28:55.680 --> 00:29:00.160
So it's all the stuff he's already doing and I'm like no bro fix the weakest link.
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:01.359
Go to bed early.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:09.359
Get some walking do that and then when you do that once that's at that level then see chances are everything will level up.
00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:20.079
But you fix the weakest link, you'll be in a better mood for your family, you'll be more positive with yourself because you've kept promises to yourself and you actually find the joy of getting up and smelling fresh air for a change.
00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:28.880
What you digest so I switched the analogy to that and it was like that's the same thing with our spiritual work and our internal work.
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:36.160
Whatever you're failing is if you don't meditate and you don't have any quiet time that might be the first thing you need to do more often off.
00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:57.279
Just to bring yourself back to center so that you can get the motivation to go and do your breath work go do your walks go do your your ice baths so it's very much the same analogy but in a different context right 100% and where you said that I always say stillness is where you'll find the answers to the questions you never even knew you needed to ask.
00:29:57.599 --> 00:30:09.839
Mate spot on I love that that's exactly because that's when you connect to your higher self too in stillness yeah and oh fuck if you had more connection that wouldn't the questions wouldn't be a surprise.
00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:13.519
Bro I want to thank you so much for your time.
00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:33.519
I do want to get you back on if you if you prepare for it I would like to touch on your personal journey and how it actually affected you and brought you to the work that you did with a little bit of emphasis and honestly talk about your experience with the suicidal thoughts in mind because it got to a point where I actually thought if I was a real man I would end my own life.
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:42.319
So the the stories we tell ourselves and our ego and um I would love to have them because I think there might be some people that would benefit from that.
00:30:43.519 --> 00:30:54.480
I'm more than happy to speak about my story because the vulnerability that I allow myself myself to share is what others find the strength in being able to step in for themselves.
00:30:54.720 --> 00:31:12.559
Especially for us men it's it's hard to find the courage to start doing the work but knowing that there's many of us out there doing it and it's not as hard as it all seems to be and they've got the support that they've need if it helps one extra person I'm more than happy.
00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:53.599
Mate and the reality is like I've been in my eager before and done the man work and hard training hard martial arts sessions hard bouts and you feel good you feel great hanging with the boys but when you do this type of work it's a whole different level of offer it's like the calm offer it's like the the energy where any guy you see doesn't feel intimidating just feels like a brother because your energy has just got that and I think that's a good place for me to be in and work through this and there's a lot of guys out there that have these thoughts but don't don't really express it because they they sh they're stronger than they need to be you know being conditioned as you said to hold it in instead of expressing it.
00:31:53.920 --> 00:31:58.400
Exactly and they're fucking beast for holding it in man but it it's a large weight to carry.
00:31:58.799 --> 00:32:03.920
Brother if anyone wants to find you and and hit you up with some training systems how do they go about doing that?
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:10.720
Instagram's probably the easiest way the Alpha Era um and elevated being as well is my business page.
00:32:11.119 --> 00:32:15.680
Facebook is Alessandro Robi Bairo which is my Italian name that I use on there.
00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:19.519
Nice all details are on my bio and things like that.
00:32:19.839 --> 00:32:24.400
Fantastic brother well most love and we'll definitely have you up young Queen's name on one of those sessions.
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:28.880
Definitely I look forward to it I thank you for the opportunity as well and thank you for the space
00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:08.880
Alexander, how do you pronounce your name actually, bro?
00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:10.960
Because in Portuguese we say Al Shan.
00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:12.880
Alexander Robbie.
00:00:13.119 --> 00:00:14.720
Robbie Barrow, there you go.
00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:18.000
Alexander calls you by Robbie, right?
00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:20.719
Uh yeah, why everyone calls me Alex?
00:00:21.920 --> 00:00:28.399
Alex, mate, I remember you actually brought me down memory lane because you showed me some pictures of us on stage in the end of the 75s.
00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:32.399
I think it was like 2011 or 14 or something around that.
00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:34.880
Yeah, bro.
00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:49.439
And then man, I brought back some massive memories, and obviously along the way, you've had your journeys and I've had mine, and it seems like it's come full circle in alignment with because the work that I've worked on and the work that you've worked on seem to complement each other quite well.
00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:53.679
I guess they're not musically exclusive, but they're two very similar areas.
00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:59.600
And um and I just had to have you on because like as you know with I Off a Project, we talk about mindset.
00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:10.400
But there's one thing that I'm I'm always very familiar with is the understanding that people need a lot of us force ourselves into situations that we don't feel like, oh, we really want to do this, we want to do it this way.
00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:13.280
But really it has to be almost like a relaxing to it.
00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:14.799
You almost have to flow into it.
00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:19.120
And the first thing you do is you have to come back into yourself to balance that energy.
00:01:20.079 --> 00:01:26.159
So just tell us exactly what it is that you do when it comes to energy and nervous system resetting.
00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:32.799
Yeah, so um along the years, I've been a personal trainer, coach, prep mentor.
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:40.799
Um, through this evolution of the last sort of seven years, I've attuned myself to become a Reiki master.
00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:48.480
I do massage therapy, um, I've understood the prompt uh the principles and concepts of acupressure in the fascia system.
00:01:48.719 --> 00:02:00.719
Uh so now when I combine all of those areas together, I've created my own modality, which I call elevated energetics, um, where I become a nervous system reset specialist.
00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:23.039
Um where we are able to acknowledge the thought patterns, the limiting beliefs and the things inside of us due to whatever thoughts, feelings, emotions, and situations that have happened in life that cause us to have the personality traits that we have, which then stop us from being more than we need to, or more than we are at that present point in time.
00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:25.840
So, yeah, I mean that to me makes perfect sense.
00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:35.360
And really, what you're saying is like it just recenters ourselves to take that accountability, but also to release the energies that we've held from the trauma that we actually haven't processed.
00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:40.080
And those energies affect us at a neurological level physically.
00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:40.719
Correct.
00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:48.159
So when you talk about a nervous reset, you're talking about re working on those energies to which in turn resets the nervous system.
00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:49.199
Correct.
00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:58.159
So no matter how good or bad a situation has been within our life, um, our central nervous system, our fascist system remembers it.
00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:07.599
So if there's been situations that our body hasn't felt safe in or been able to express properly, then our nervous system holds on to it.
00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:18.560
So it could be as far back or as little as your parents saying no to you for something that you wanted as a kid, um, turned around and walked out of the room, and that creates an abandonment issue.
00:03:18.719 --> 00:03:24.479
Um self-worth issue because it's like, oh, I couldn't get what I wanted at that point in time.
00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:27.919
Uh so it doesn't have to be anything overly traumatic at that same point.
00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:30.000
No, exactly, especially at that age.
00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:34.960
Like you're still based on alpha level between up until about six or seven.
00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:44.159
So even if a mother says, No, you can't get that because you don't deserve it, you've been naughty, that can can affect their nervous system and how they perceive themselves.
00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:46.879
Obviously, when they're older, they can differentiate yes, okay.
00:03:47.039 --> 00:03:52.719
I understand what she means, but you're still carrying that energetic trauma as well, which is the conflict.
00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:56.639
So I completely yeah, but I get it completely get what you're saying.
00:03:56.879 --> 00:04:08.879
But I one thing that I find is really, really hard, like, and you've heard the Lighthouse principle where we know we can't go, we can't help people, we can just be an example, and whether people want to be helped or not, that's up to them.
00:04:09.199 --> 00:04:20.720
But I do find that from my perspective, when I see this and I can see the changes and the benefits it has, but the people that seem to need it the most are the ones holding on to the story tighter.
00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:34.639
So, based on your journey and your experience, what what things can you say to someone like that or give them the energy or like making them just accept that there may be a different perspective to their story?
00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:38.959
Uh well, it goes back to a post I put up recently.
00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:41.360
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:50.399
Um so when we can understand that what we've been doing hasn't got us to the result that we want, we need to create a change.
00:04:50.639 --> 00:05:03.279
Um, so whether or not it's the environments that we sit within, the people that we hang around, the music and the information that we listen to, the things that we watch, we've always got a way to level up.
00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:07.839
Um, to take life to a new level, we need to change our perspectives.
00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:15.600
So doing more from ourselves and looking deeper within will always allow reality to give us more from what we want.
00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:18.079
Um, it again is that internal state.
00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:18.800
Exactly.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.639
And is that what you want for yourself?
00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:23.920
Because it's like that's that's what most people say.
00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:30.399
And the thing is I find that when like we use the word level up, uh let's let's uh ascend.
00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:35.199
But from layman's terms, when people hear that, it seems like, oh, there's gonna be more work.
00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:40.800
And we all have to do work, but there's already this energetic feeling of like it's more work up and away.
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:43.680
But really, it should be more work in and down.
00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:45.360
M more inward, right?
00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:46.560
And I think that's the one thing.
00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:55.120
You know, yeah, and basically the idea is like I don't need to improve on certain things I'm not.
00:05:55.199 --> 00:06:00.480
The only job you really have is to go deeper in yourself and understand yourself better.
00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:06.480
Like and then that in itself is the level up where you start to then attract the things that you align with.
00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:10.480
And I think I mean w we've all been b victims of this.
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:25.759
Um when I say victims of the unaware of our subconscious, because there's things that we do purely out of reactive behavior and pain, and we think we're in control until we realize, oh shit, I wasn't, and then comes the guilt and all that type of stuff that we have to process and accept.
00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:30.399
But I like I think if we're in an unaware state, it's not your fault.
00:06:30.480 --> 00:06:32.800
You're like a child who just doesn't know any better.
00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:37.519
But once you become aware, now you're gonna perpetuate the mistake.
00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:46.160
And I think that that's what people need to kind of like say, Well, even if the environment is out to get me, I'm still the one who put myself in it.
00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:48.240
I still created it.
00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:49.680
Yeah, and 100%.
00:06:50.319 --> 00:07:00.240
I always say to most people that I speak to, it's not about stopping life and its situations, because life's never going to stop handing you situations.
00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:03.120
It's not about trying to control these situations.
00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:06.959
We can only control the way that we react to these situations.
00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:11.360
So that way our reactions create a better perspective moving forward.
00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:20.240
Um but with that being said, the ability, or should I say, within the healing journey, I like to call it an onion.
00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:22.560
The more we peel back, the more we uncover.
00:07:22.720 --> 00:07:25.120
So going deeper again within ourselves.
00:07:25.439 --> 00:07:30.160
But where I like to say when we peel back, we understand that a little bit further.
00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:33.360
The more we peel back, the easier it gets, like training.
00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:36.399
The the more bicep reps do, the easier it begets.
00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:38.079
We can do lift heavier things.
00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:46.560
So it's not about trying to control the outcome, it's about creating the capacity within your nervous system to be able to deal with life and what it's got to throw at you.
00:07:47.120 --> 00:07:55.199
And look, may you hit the head on the nail, because I think this is one thing why I'm so attracted to the work that you do is that people might see it as a quick fix or symptom regulator.
00:07:55.439 --> 00:08:02.000
I'm stressed, I'll go see Alex to get some breath work, calm myself down, but then they might step away for quite a while before they come back.
00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:07.360
Other people know they actually, their their mindset is more processed, that it becomes a habit for their life.
00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:13.759
So and I genuinely think it's like sometimes we're on a way that we all say, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do some shadow work and inner work.
00:08:14.079 --> 00:08:26.079
But the deeper we go, the the worse it gets, really, because we get to a point where we realize things that we liked, we were conditioned to like and be attached to, where really deep inside, we never did.
00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:30.959
We just we associated another memory, another experience with that.
00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:34.320
So we start telling like, fuck, I don't really like that.
00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:43.039
And and then it's in those moments that the energy starts to shift because your ego kicks in and then becomes that energetic battle that leads to stress and stuff.
00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:45.919
Plus, life is happening at the same fucking time.
00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:46.559
Exactly.
00:08:46.799 --> 00:08:50.159
And and that's when people think, well, I'm doing the work, I don't need to.
00:08:50.399 --> 00:08:54.000
But the energy has to be constant while you're doing the work.
00:08:54.799 --> 00:08:56.559
It's like an absolute necessity.
00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:57.440
100%.
00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:07.919
Um what I do and how I try to teach people, especially through my mentoring programs, you come see me, we release the body, we release the energy and things like that.
00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:13.120
But it's all of the little tasks and accountability that you need to do day to day that creates the habits.
00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:16.559
So as we know, it takes 21 days to make or break a habit.
00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:20.960
So if you can do something for a month, then you shift that mindset perspective.
00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:31.440
If you tell yourself that you're worthy of receiving something for a month every day, um, you're gonna be able to shift that perspective and that energetic field within you that allows that to happen.
00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:43.600
They might sound silly to the typical person, but these are the things that are wired, as you said, into our subconscious frame that makes us believe that we're not worthy enough to receive it or whatever the case may be.
00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:45.600
Um, so we just have to rewire it.
00:09:45.759 --> 00:09:51.039
It's about doing those things consistently and then just doing it again for the next level of your life that you want to receive.
00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:52.799
Reprogramming.
00:09:54.080 --> 00:10:02.960
And and like and that's the thing, it's like you need in order to so I don't know how to put this in a Lanewind's way.
00:10:03.120 --> 00:10:10.159
When you're actually doing the work and you're in that situation where you you're confronted by an environment that would create a an old reactive behavior.
00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:14.240
Okay, and you are aware that you have a reactive behavior.
00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:25.919
You're trying to control it, but human nature, it becomes that self-preservation, and with an habitual behavior that you've done over the years, it's gonna come up.
00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:32.000
And you're gonna try and hold them, and there's gonna be a force of energy where you're dealing with that, and then you're struggling within yourself.
00:10:32.080 --> 00:10:33.759
So sooner or later it's gonna pop.
00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:34.639
Hundred percent.
00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:39.120
And this is where I think it's like we're aware we're doing the work, but then we feel like we're failing.
00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:48.320
But the only thing we're failing at is It's in those moments that I think you need to go back to your training where you go, okay, hold on, I can feel it.
00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:49.679
Now comes the breathwork.
00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:52.000
Now I come with the mental relaxation.
00:10:52.159 --> 00:11:01.679
And that's when it becomes in handy, or when to where you can learn to release and meditate, and in that moment so that you have time to calm your reaction.
00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:04.000
And then process your response.
00:11:04.320 --> 00:11:05.519
Definitely, 100%.
00:11:06.159 --> 00:11:11.840
Um we we've all got those call them safety nets that we go back to.
00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:14.159
Like, don't get me wrong, as I said, I'm only human.
00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:26.720
I still have overreactive behaviors in situations, and I and I the biggest part about it is if I overreact in a situation now, I catch myself in it or just after it and I rectify my problem.
00:11:26.960 --> 00:11:31.120
Um and it's usually with my kids and they frustrate me or whatever the case may be.
00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:39.200
Um but the ability to identify it before it even gets there, as you say, before it erupts like the volcano.
00:11:39.360 --> 00:11:46.879
You need to see your patterns and what your triggers are and how your body feels before it even gets close to that point.
00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:47.840
Absolutely.
00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:49.519
Mate, I'll share with you.
00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:57.679
I've had this personal experience, like obviously we've had our fair share of relationships, and every time I've actually grown more and more because I do do some inner reflection.
00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:10.799
And um, I guess I'm just as guilty as the next person, but I am ashamed to say that I've been confronted by my own reactive behavior and realized that my I I was a cause of a lot of issues that I had in my past.
00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:18.720
And it wasn't about changing myself in order to make my partner happier, it was about changing myself so no matter what situation I'm in, I'm happier.
00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:23.440
Like I I want to control my own emotions, not allow somebody else to do that.
00:12:23.759 --> 00:12:29.360
But I realized that in some situations I was really good at finding my response.
00:12:29.679 --> 00:12:32.399
I had I was calm, I was compassionate.
00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:37.679
My kids saw an example of it and they complimented me and they said, Dad, I can't the person that you are.
00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:45.679
And it inspired them to take accountability at school with their teachers and friends and always self-reflect because we can only make ourselves happier.
00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:54.720
And I've had an experience with the loss of my brother and some personal issues with family that were really bad and brought up embeddement issues, abuse issues, stuff like that.
00:12:55.120 --> 00:12:59.919
And in dealing with my partner, I found she mirrored those traumas to me.
00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:04.960
She's not the same people, but I was having the same reactive behavior.
00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:09.200
And and I was very much aware of that, and I I would share that with her.
00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:20.720
But what I realized like is at the same time, I was more reactive purely because I hadn't fully processed or released that stuff.
00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:22.080
I had managed it.
00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:28.480
But if I had completely released that, then I may not even have had that assertive reactive energy come through.
00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:38.240
So as much as we think we're doing the work and we're kicking ass, there's always a few people still left to pick up and throw out, you know, that we have to release.
00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:41.840
So which brings me to my next question.
00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:43.200
Like, this is why I love your work.
00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:53.759
So the work that you do, I would like to know something about you that nobody else knows but you wish people did, which has led you to doing the work you're doing.
00:13:55.600 --> 00:14:01.759
The constant pushing of my mental state and its ability through my physical body.
00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:08.480
Um, whenever I was told that I can't do something, I found a way to make sure that I was able to do it.
00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:12.559
Um, so before I became a personal trainer, I was an electrician.
00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:20.960
Um, I worked on the tools for two and a bit years, only did a bit of about a year or so into my TAFE apprenticeship on the study side of things.
00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:25.279
Um working on a Saturday destroyed my knee coming down a ladder.
00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:28.240
Worked on it for three months and destroyed it.
00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:30.720
I ended up having three knee operations.
00:14:30.879 --> 00:14:41.679
My last one was an experimental operation that they um took out the cartilage and ligaments in the second operation and regrew artificial ones and stitched it back into my knee.
00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:48.159
Um, so then I was locked in a leg splint for 12 weeks at 180 degrees, so I couldn't bend my leg.
00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:55.679
Uh put on close to 20 kilos because I was just eating a loaf of bread every day in bed and watching TV, just being a fat lazy shit.
00:14:55.919 --> 00:14:56.960
Just depressed.
00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:58.240
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:04.399
Um, that was when I went through my first bout of depression, anxiety, and suicide attempted, to be honest.
00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:06.480
I went through big suicide ideations.
00:15:07.200 --> 00:15:12.639
But the doctors told me back then that I wouldn't be able to do anything physical with my leg.
00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:17.519
They said, find a desk job and good luck with whatever you need to do.
00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:31.519
So, with that being said, I signed myself up into a gym, I lost all the weight, I realized how good I could feel, um, rehabbed my own knee, then took me into the personal trainer life, and that was the biggest factor.
00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:35.120
You tell me I can't do, so I'm gonna do everything to prove you wrong.
00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:39.360
Yeah, and now it's probably shifted where you do it because it's just who you are.
00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:40.000
100%.
00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:42.480
You know, it's like it's becoming that awareness.
00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:46.080
You know, people will look at a guy like you, and and uh, I've been in the same shisb.
00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:47.679
That that's true strength.
00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:50.799
True strength is sitting in the fire when everybody wants to get out.
00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:56.000
And you might be screaming, you might be quiet, you might be in pain, but you're still in the fucking fire.
00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:07.600
And then you learn how to manage that, then you learn to get to a point where you're no longer expressing it, then you get to a point where you're actually quite comfortable in it, and then you choose to be in the fire because that's when you know you you're at your hardest.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:09.679
You're growing out the time you're there.
00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:13.519
You know, and um it's one of those qualities that we very rarely see.
00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:18.399
People that are inside the fire are the ones to make a marriage loss, are the ones who keep working on it.
00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:20.639
They're the ones who never give up on their kids.
00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:32.960
Uh but nowadays you see people from an emotional reaction, they just sound like at the end, you know, you leave a job, you know, just because they're just not comfortable or someone said the wrong word, you know.
00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:36.720
Well, and then that to me doesn't show commitment to self.
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:41.279
So what you've done to me is one of the qualities that I think we need more of.
00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:42.399
Thank you.
00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:48.240
Um, I I I really put it down to the bodybuilding side of things that I did for many years.
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:51.519
It created discipline, consistency, resilience.
00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:54.960
Um, and I purposely prepped in season B every year.
00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:58.480
So it was over my birthday, so I didn't have to celebrate my birthday.
00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:01.840
Everybody would ask me out, I wouldn't cheat on my meals.
00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:09.839
Like, if you tell me I need to do something, I'm gonna find the hardest way to do it, to push myself in every mental aspect, physical aspect, and everything else.
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:11.680
Um bother.
00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:13.200
Yeah, exactly.
00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:16.960
Um, it was never really about winning and coming first for me.
00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:19.359
It was about just becoming better than the year I did before.
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:21.680
If I could do it quicker, easier, whatever.
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:23.759
Yeah, look, and that's the same thing, you know.
00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:32.799
I was uh was it was a Jordan Peterson, I think, was talking to a guy who was a Navy SEAL and he pretty much said uh I've got him in my head.
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:38.079
Anyway, he was saying to the dude, uh what make why are you set up proud?
00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:38.880
Like, what do you do?
00:17:39.039 --> 00:17:40.640
He goes, I'm I'm a SEAL, I'm a Navy SEAL.
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:42.880
So what makes what why is that special?
00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:45.599
And he goes, Oh, because uh yeah, because of the training.
00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:50.960
He goes, Yeah, it's not because of the career, it's because of what you had to endure to become a SEAL.
00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:57.039
And now that you've done that, there's a certain aspect about yourself because you've proven to yourself that you're a beast.
00:17:57.279 --> 00:18:01.440
And then it doesn't matter which SEAL you are, you might have different ranks, but every seal is a seal.
00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:05.680
There's no competition, there's just you're just a warrior, you're not a soldier, right?
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:10.079
And I think the same thing is the same aspect when it comes to our spirituality.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:21.039
You you that sort of quality is something that people don't recognize, and then sometimes it confronts them, and I think it comes with an insecurity that we then believe the story that we've been told, that we pushed too hard.
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:22.079
Why are you doing that?
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:23.680
That doesn't make sense.
00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:38.960
And um, but navigating that then goes back to the work that you do because that used to create a negative energy when now it's actually a processed energy, and you can actually see people are just responding for their own subconscious and their own energy no longer affect you.
00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:40.160
Yeah.
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:45.279
Um back then I processed thoughts, feelings, emotions with training.
00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:49.279
I wouldn't leave a session until I couldn't walk if I was doing legs or whatever.
00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:51.920
Um, so sitting with your demons in the gym.
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:57.200
Now I sit with whatever demons come up, thoughts, feelings, and emotions, because I make them my best friend.
00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:58.799
Um that's the best thing.
00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:03.680
If you can't talk to them and understand them, then they're always going to be scary for you.
00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:07.920
Um the only reason they're scary, bro, is because they're not getting attention.
00:19:09.119 --> 00:19:12.240
You know, when you actually confront them, you realize, fuck, they're not that big.
00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:14.160
Like they're actually quite a small little problem.
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:16.720
It's just you've got a loud box, a loud buck, you know.
00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:18.480
Exactly that.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:31.039
Um and it it comes back down to I I guess if you want to put it, I say most of us adults are really just the little kid that needs attention living in an adult's body.
00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:42.079
So the reason why it's so scary is because the little boy or little girl inside of us still hasn't dealt with the fear or the insecurity of having to deal with something and feeling safe.
00:19:42.319 --> 00:19:48.400
We are still that little person in an adult's body dealing with the emotions that we haven't dealt with as a kid.
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:49.440
Yeah, exactly.
00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:54.720
And what happened and as an adult, whatever happens to us, that kid still gets affected by it.
00:19:54.960 --> 00:20:07.839
Because it's the end, they're just growing bigger with more pain and more pain until you actually stop and give them a hug and pick them up and recognize what it is that they need, and maybe even to say to them, Look, kid, your story's slightly twisted.
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:09.200
That's not really what happened.
00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:10.880
I know that's what it looked like.
00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:14.240
And that just in itself will make a massive difference, you know.
00:20:14.319 --> 00:20:15.599
Like the simplest things.
00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:20.720
Kid once he's mum, she has to hang the washing, he might feel abandoned, but no one's fault, right?
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:28.640
And I think this journey has also helped me to be um a lot more open and vulnerable with my kids about my reality and my reactiveness.
00:20:28.720 --> 00:20:36.400
And I always questioned whether I was doing the right thing, because people said, Oh, you you shouldn't tell them that much, you shouldn't be, you know, like protect, protect, protect.
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:39.920
And I was like, I wasn't protected as a kid.
00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:50.640
I think I was conditioned because the adults growing up use that as an excuse to say to themselves, we want to keep the illusion that we know what we're doing.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:53.279
Not that they're fucking trying to protect you.
00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:59.519
So I think I will I will challenge any adult who's a parent not to reflect that on themselves and actually get to that point.
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:04.960
And the reality is for myself, I thought, no, that's I didn't get guidance on how to manage my emotions.
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:06.559
I didn't get the example.
00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:09.519
I got taught how to have conditioned behavior.
00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:13.279
So with them, I tell them, this is my thought present.
00:21:13.359 --> 00:21:15.920
I think it might be because of this, or it might be because of that.
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:19.519
When my daughter talks and she says, I had this, okay, stop.
00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:20.079
What happened?
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:20.880
Where were they?
00:21:21.039 --> 00:21:22.240
Why did that upset you?
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:24.079
Why I I go back into her.
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:26.799
So now she's got that that habit.
00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:30.000
So it's an internal dialogue.
00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:37.839
So before you even react, or you you're feeling angry, you process the emotion, say, Well, that person made me angry.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.640
But then you don't blame the person, you blame the feeling.
00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:44.960
It's like, my brain made me angry by what that person said.
00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:46.720
Why did my brain make me angry?
00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:54.079
And you continue to Yeah, you don't and that's the thing, kids nowadays they don't.
00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:59.839
The moment they feel some sort of um stress or negativity energy, like maybe being up on a jungle jam.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.440
or not being allowed to go play.
00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:06.480
Parents want to comfort rather than help them process.
00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:17.039
And I I yeah, I j I believe if they if a parent was doing the work they might might feel the benefit of that release and that that man, it's actually not that big a deal.
00:22:17.359 --> 00:22:21.359
And if you have that energy when you talk to a kid, you watch them right away, right?
00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:23.359
Just calm right down, right?
00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:24.880
Because your energy's calm.
00:22:25.039 --> 00:22:26.079
So they just responding.
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:26.880
They freaked out.
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.880
You're not they just go, oh cool, we're safe.
00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:30.720
It's not as bad as I thought it was.
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:30.960
Yeah.
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:38.319
Yeah no and and um there's no situation there will ever be as bad as your negative response to it.
00:22:38.720 --> 00:22:56.480
100% um on what you were saying with the kids my son's 10 my daughters eight um but I have to speak to them like adults because if I speak to them like little kids they actually show me disrespect because I'm not teach uh speaking to them the same way that they see me speak to everybody else.
00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:00.160
So I'm very open and expressive with my kids.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:03.359
Some may say that I'm too open and expressive with my kids.
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:20.559
But if they can learn it now at this age and understand their thoughts, feelings and emotions and the processes that they have to do at this age, then they're not going to suffer when they hit 30 or whatever, when everybody hits depression and anxiety and everything else.
00:23:20.960 --> 00:23:40.640
You know I had this discussion with some friends and one of them said to me I think you're too involved and you you're on top of your kids and I the the reality is in my ripe old age I've learned enough not to personalize it and my first feeling was like wow this is coming directly from their experience as a child and how their parents work.
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:43.200
So it perceived my behavior as controlling.
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It has nothing to do with me.
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And in fact I said to oh look I can understand why you get that perspective but I do feel like I want to give you a hug because you don't realize that I'm not actually on top of them.
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I'm next to them saying I'm right here.
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And whatever you need I'm not here to solve your problem I'm here to support you solve your problem.
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And there's nothing that you haven't done that I haven't done.
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There's no silly mistake or any pain that I haven't done.
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You might do something different that I haven't but I've done something the other way and we've had the same experience.
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So just because I don't like it is coming from a place of love.
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And my our only job is to support each other to choose to be happy in whatever environment we find ourselves in.
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And to me my son I'm the first person he calls if he has something to talk about and and you'll take his time you'll process it and then you'll ring me and to me it's I haven't got oh what's going on with your day why don't you share you should do this and when I talk to him I go back to him what do you feel why would you want to do that?
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Is there a reason for it?
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Where's that reason coming from Dad you can be no I just want you to really go into yourself and do what's best for you.
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Not what you think I want or your mother or your fucking boss or your girlfriend.
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What you want and you have to process it because you have to deal with the consequences would be more of if they could see I can talk to my dad because he's a living example of what I'm doing.
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He's just at a different level 100% Everything in life happens through a seven year cycle.
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So whatever we don't process and deal with in that first seven years of life will happen every seven seven years.
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It just won't happen the same way.
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It will bring up the same situations and feelings for you so that way you can acknowledge it and process it.
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So again we I I I feel one of the big things where I wanted to touch on before when you said as well where we say we're doing the work the issue I find with a lot of people is we do a lot of mental understanding.
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So it's like oh we can process that this is an abandonment wound it's a self-worth issue it's an anger frustration issue or whatever and pinpoint to an area of where it was related to in our life.
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Yeah.
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Every time we peel back that layer we need to find and uncover another reason why that little bit further is which is why I say our triggers are actually a blessing because the reason why we have that trigger is to what we need to acknowledge within ourselves.
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So when relationships aren't there to make you happy they're there to make you conscious hundred percent exactly what you just said yeah bruh.
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Yeah so it's about understanding those patterns and responses that we have and why we still live within them.
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So again where we have this mental understanding and awareness we do it on one layer of of our being I say our being's made up of four fundamental pillars we've got our physical body we've got our mental body we've got our emotional body and we've got our energetic body so if we've got our energetic state or sorry our mental state all the way up here but our physical state and nervous system is still down here we've got too much room bouncing in between which is why we feel like we're going up and down like a yo-yo it makes perfect sense if we bring our energetic state to our physical state which is then in line with our emotional state and our intellectual state then we can rise as a being completely like the links because then we balance that's right like the links of a chain if one link is broken the moment you pull on it it's gonna slap so if we create all links to be extremely strong just as strong as the weakest link as the saying goes you can only be as strong as your weakest link make your weakest link the strongest bring it to the next level bring it to the next level so as we bring our level up we're bringing our mental awareness our physical awareness our energetic and our emotional awareness to the same level.
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Mate so I'm gonna paraphrase that for somebody that's never done spiritual work because I literally had this discussion because I was trying to get this content across to one of my clients.
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Yeah and um I use the same analogy but instead of the different levels I use the different exercise you want a healthy lifestyle it's nutrition it's weight training it's moving it's uh meditating it's getting to bed early all these things.
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And he often complains bro I'm doing the work and I'm doing this and I'm sticking it to the diet I'm I get to my training sessions and I do my check-ins.
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I'm like bro a check-in isn't any work check-in is more work for me than for you like you're not that just because you do a check-in doesn't mean I've done the work I'm doing my check-in.
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Yeah the work comes in showing up to sessions which he does but does he do his walks?
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Does he do his meditation?
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No he doesn't and I'm like bro so he's like can we up the sessions?
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Can we change my diet?
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So it's all the stuff he's already doing and I'm like no bro fix the weakest link.
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Go to bed early.
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Get some walking do that and then when you do that once that's at that level then see chances are everything will level up.
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But you fix the weakest link, you'll be in a better mood for your family, you'll be more positive with yourself because you've kept promises to yourself and you actually find the joy of getting up and smelling fresh air for a change.
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What you digest so I switched the analogy to that and it was like that's the same thing with our spiritual work and our internal work.
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Whatever you're failing is if you don't meditate and you don't have any quiet time that might be the first thing you need to do more often off.
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Just to bring yourself back to center so that you can get the motivation to go and do your breath work go do your walks go do your your ice baths so it's very much the same analogy but in a different context right 100% and where you said that I always say stillness is where you'll find the answers to the questions you never even knew you needed to ask.
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Mate spot on I love that that's exactly because that's when you connect to your higher self too in stillness yeah and oh fuck if you had more connection that wouldn't the questions wouldn't be a surprise.
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Bro I want to thank you so much for your time.
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I do want to get you back on if you if you prepare for it I would like to touch on your personal journey and how it actually affected you and brought you to the work that you did with a little bit of emphasis and honestly talk about your experience with the suicidal thoughts in mind because it got to a point where I actually thought if I was a real man I would end my own life.
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So the the stories we tell ourselves and our ego and um I would love to have them because I think there might be some people that would benefit from that.
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I'm more than happy to speak about my story because the vulnerability that I allow myself myself to share is what others find the strength in being able to step in for themselves.
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Especially for us men it's it's hard to find the courage to start doing the work but knowing that there's many of us out there doing it and it's not as hard as it all seems to be and they've got the support that they've need if it helps one extra person I'm more than happy.
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Mate and the reality is like I've been in my eager before and done the man work and hard training hard martial arts sessions hard bouts and you feel good you feel great hanging with the boys but when you do this type of work it's a whole different level of offer it's like the calm offer it's like the the energy where any guy you see doesn't feel intimidating just feels like a brother because your energy has just got that and I think that's a good place for me to be in and work through this and there's a lot of guys out there that have these thoughts but don't don't really express it because they they sh they're stronger than they need to be you know being conditioned as you said to hold it in instead of expressing it.
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Exactly and they're fucking beast for holding it in man but it it's a large weight to carry.
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Brother if anyone wants to find you and and hit you up with some training systems how do they go about doing that?
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Instagram's probably the easiest way the Alpha Era um and elevated being as well is my business page.
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Facebook is Alessandro Robi Bairo which is my Italian name that I use on there.
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Nice all details are on my bio and things like that.
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Fantastic brother well most love and we'll definitely have you up young Queen's name on one of those sessions.
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Definitely I look forward to it I thank you for the opportunity as well and thank you for the space
