EP07 The Final Chapter - Steve Garrigan on Kodaline's Farewell, Anxiety & Life on the Road

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Hello there and welcome to the Delusiona Optimist, the podcast about building dreams, embracing fresh starts, and navigating the messy middle of life.
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My name is Diana, and I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest this week.
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And I have to say, this feels like a very different episode for me because my guest is my husband, who also happens to be Kodaline frontman, lead singer, songwriter, and um very, very talented musician.
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And Steve has been part of a very special, special band who have created something ginormous.
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They've toured the world so many times over, they've got billions of streams online, millions of fans around the world, and they're about to enter a huge chapter.
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They are about to release their final album as a band.
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They're about to set off on a farewell tour.
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And this interview was recorded the night before Codoline released their new single, their first one in six years, called We Were Only Young.
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And I feel very privileged to have the chance to sit down with Steve to reminisce about the past 20 years of his musical career.
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To talk about the highs and lows of touring and band life and the pressure of returning after time away and the nerves that come with putting new music out there.
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And we also talk about, I suppose, our life a little bit in between.
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And we chat about anxiety and what it's like to build a career in the spotlight when you're dealing with crippling anxiety and panic attacks behind the scenes.
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I also learned something new in this conversation, and Steve said something that he's actually never said before, and I won't lie, it reduced me to tears.
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You'll know the moment when you get there.
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I think it will touch you too.
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I really hope you enjoy this episode.
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Here's Steve.
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Steve Garrigan, welcome to the Delusional Optimist Podcast.
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Thank you so much, Diana Bunici Garrigan, wife.
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It took a lot of work to get you on this podcast.
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Yeah, you know, I'll have to go through your agents.
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I'll have my people call your people, and you have your people call my people.
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But we got here.
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We got here in full transparency.
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We started recording this, and then Michael, who is here today to paint our windows, decided that the window we parked ourselves by had to be the window that he was working on.
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So we've been kind of hopping around the house trying to find a place where we can chat where the dogs are barking and where Michael isn't barking on the window.
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And now we're sitting in the closet.
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It's cozy.
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It's very warm in here.
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This is an exciting day.
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This is an exciting closet.
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But truly, it's a very exciting day.
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It is the the eve of the release of your first single in six years with Codaline.
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How are you feeling?
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Really excited.
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It is kind of wild that we haven't released anything in six years.
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But I'm really excited.
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I put a lot into this record, and you know, we're very excited to get back on the road.
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Final tour, final album.
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I always get nervous releasing a new song because you never know what's gonna happen, how people are gonna react.
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But we have really loyal fans, and we're very lucky, and I think they're gonna love this song.
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The tagline, you don't know what you've got until it's gone, is one that kind of stuck with me and that inspired the song.
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Some songs are very obvious what they're about, others are kind of left open to interpretation.
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This one, for me, in a strange way.
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I wrote it in a way that it's a love story, but it's kind of about the band in a in a strange way.
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Just looking back and reminiscing, um, because as you know, this is our last record and final farewell tour, so it's kind of bittersweet.
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It's been twenty years of a journey, probably more.
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If you count back to like the days of when your band was born in the Battle of the Bands, and then you're a star.
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You're a star.
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No, you're a star.
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You're a star.
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Ah, but you're already the star.
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Oh god.
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It has been quite a journey.
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Twenty years is a long time to experience what you have.
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And it's been quite a massive from like playing in little bars and swords with to literally no one listening to them playing Glastonbury two times, three times, 60,000 people in the crowd each time.
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Like that is not your typical it's not your typical experience for the average person.
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So how do you how do you comprehend all of that?
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Like, was there a moment where it started to sink in, or are you still processing the whole thing?
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I'm still processing the whole thing.
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I feel very, very lucky and I mean just kind of blessed to to be able to do what I do, to be a musician, to write songs, uh, you know, to play in the band.
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Yeah, it's it's incredible.
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It's a dream job.
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When I look back, it still just baffles me.
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I have to pinch myself, to be honest.
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It's hard to comprehend, and it's har even harder to put into words, because if I did go back to like teenage me and said I'd be doing what I'm doing today, he definitely would have just laughed and said, That's impossible.
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So but you've proved him wrong.
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Sometimes the impossible is possible, it just takes a lot of hard work to make it happen, and I suppose luck as well.
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It takes a bit of luck.
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I think it's it's a combination of both.
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Like I remember when I said, I'd love to be a musician, I wanna write songs, you know.
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I wonder could I get a record deal, I wonder could I get a publishing deal, all this stuff.
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And when I said that to my parents, obviously they didn't react very well initially because they're like, Well, that's not a real job.
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How are you gonna get a house one day?
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Um, how are you gonna pay a mortgage etc?
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Which is sensible and that's the right way to go about it.
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But I just had this kind of I wrote songs every day.
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Any chance I got to rehearse and play with the band, like I do that and we do that together, and it was the only thing on my mind, first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and then music as well, also writing songs on a personal level just felt good for me, and I did go through a very dark like point when I was like 19 for quite a few years, but music was kind of the thing that kept me afloat as well, so it was the only thing I felt I was good at as well, which is kind of sad, but um I mean I was obsessed, and I think that also helped.
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I think you said at one point like it wasn't really a choice, it was a it was a necessity to like create music and express yourself that way.
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And when you say like the hard time when you were 19 and a few years after that, you're talking about like panic attacks and anxiety, and they kind of hit you out of nowhere, didn't they?
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Yeah, it's odd.
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When you're creative in any way, or if you have a love of doing something, like I think it's just in you to be creative.
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If you're a creative person, you you'll just do it, or you'll find an outlet, whether that's art, painting, you know, music, you'll find an outlet and you'll just do it.
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It's like an urge uh or an itch that needs to be scratched, and I think that was in me from a very, very young age.
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I really started to take it seriously when I when I was going through a tough time because it did help me.
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And there is a thing, you know, music therapy, subconsciously or whatever, I might have been just doing that, you know, because it made me feel good.
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And I was writing songs and some were bad, and they got better the more I did it.
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But yeah, I was very anxious and I was very shy, and I was very kind of sad.
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You were very hard on yourself as well.
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You weren't really giving yourself a break.
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Instead of giving yourself compassion, you were really tough on yourself.
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Yeah, I mean, I think it was the time as well that I grew up because it was nobody spoke about mental health or anxiety, panic attacks, depression, things like that.
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Anything about the head, if you said you had a problem or something, especially being a man, the answer would usually be just just suck it up and they think you were weak or something.
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Yeah, they they kind of they bully you, you know, especially in an all-boys' school and stuff like that.
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Like I was in a great school, but just the general mentality surrounding mental health at the time was zero.
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So you just didn't talk about it, and if you did, you'd be kind of you'd be laughed at or mocked.
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It was horrible.
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So I didn't say anything and I didn't talk about it, which is the exact wrong thing to do.
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But luckily I had music as an outlet, and for me that was my voice.
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So I remember I wrote a song, the first song I wrote that actually felt like a real song, and I used to listen to a lot of other songs, like big well-known songs, and I remember listening to them and then listening to my own song that I had written, and I was like, I think this is potentially as good as this.
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Like it stood up, it didn't f sound weird when you like listen to one and then listen to the other.
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That song was High Hopes.
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Yeah, it was High Hopes.
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It was it's become one of Codeline's big songs.
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But for me, it was the first song that I wrote that actually felt like a real song.
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And it came from a real place.
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It was about hitting rock bottom.
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For me, that was you know, anxiety, panic attacks.
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I really felt like my world had turned upside down.
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But something in me was saying, You gotta stay positive and you gotta keep going, you know, because the world keeps spinning regardless of what happens or what choices you make.
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So yeah.
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For a 19-year-old it was pretty heavy, but uh I mean there's staring at the barrel of a gun is a metaphor in the a lyric in that song.
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And that's for me is just you felt hopeless.
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But yet you weren't you were writing about high hopes.
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I mean, that that's almost I hate to say it, but it was almost literal.
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That's how low and sad I was at the time, you know.
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But that song perched me up and gave me a bit of momentum and encouraged me to keep going.
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And then I started writing more and more and more, and then songs like All I Want, um, which is our biggest song, and you know, uh the record just started appearing, and then it was incredible as well.
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Like the band like myself and Mark and Vini, I think we always had like we didn't know that it was gonna happen, but there was a belief there that it would or could.
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I mean, it was highly unlikely, but but we did have that small belief, and that belief grew.
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I think that the more we worked at it and the more we tried and the more songs we recorded.
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You had your first one of your first big breaks was you're a star.
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You're a star We're not doing that again.
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But it was that was one of your big breaks, and I suppose it gave you a taste of what could be.
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But it was still difficult along the way.
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I mean, you've spoken about before, you know, how you would have sent your songs to people and they were rejected.
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Yeah.
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Which then stemmed you into happened.
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Which stemmed into you, like them posting tapes and recordings and Ronan Keaton's mailbox just wanting to be heard and seen.
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Yeah.
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You talked about like performing to people in pubs and no one giving.
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No one listening.
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No one yeah, no one caring.
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How did you keep going when when these farriers were constantly in your way?
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And how did you get that first break?
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Well, Yoris there in itself was a huge thing for us.
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Like we weren't going to s well, I wasn't going to school because of it, you know, and every Sunday we were on TV, we kind of had this 15 minutes of fame thing.
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And you know, I I was quite a shy, introverted guy, so that was a bizarre experience.
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And but it was amazing.
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It also gave us kind of a look at the music industry.
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We got quite a lot of gigs from it as well in pubs and paying paid gigs, which was crazy for us.
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We had a kind of a snapshot of what the music industry is like, but as quick as it came, it was gone even quicker.
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And then I was back repeating my leave and certain.
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That was very difficult.
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That must have stung, yeah.
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Yeah, that was that was tough.
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I reacted badly to that, it made me very anxious.
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For some reason, I had this internal dialogue I had going on was I have failed, I'm a failure.
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Which I've learned is called catastrophic thinking in therapy.
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But yeah, that was a conclusion I had come to, which was not true, it was very irrational, but that didn't help, and it made me very anxious and it made me feel very bad.
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And then it lots of things kind of ended up in me having multiple panic attacks and feeling very bad.
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Yes, well, the first break came along, it was actually a couple of years after that.
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Because of Eurostar, I think Roland Keaton had heard about us, and at the time we had a different uh bass player in the band, and he worked in the airport, and Roland Keaton happened to be going through the airport, and we managed to get a CD, a demo CD to him, and he was awesome about it, and he reached out to us and he lived in Mallahoide and he let us use his studio for free, which was incredible.
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So, any chance we got myself and Mark would go over there and um use the studio, or if we had demos and stuff like that, I would go over and drop it in his mailbox with like a note about the songs, and that went on for a few years, just annoying him.
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Would you ever go away though?
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But regretful he gave you a chance.
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Yeah, but then eventually like he introduced us to somebody, and then they introduced somebody.
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A label came over, listened to us, had no interest, disappeared for like five years, then came back and then signed us.
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But the whole time, like I was just writing, writing, writing, writing.
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Music was the first thing on my mind.
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I said it before, first thing in my mind in the morning and the last thing at night for years, and it just for many reasons.
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I loved it, but I also felt like there's gotta be a way to make this work, and it also made made me feel good.
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It's funny about Ronan because we didn't see him again for a few years, but then we were special guests on The Voice of Australia, and he was a judge, and afterwards he came up and he was like, guys, and uh it was just so weird.
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I mean, even for him, like that must be bizarre, you know.
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But that's a cool story.
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Yeah, it is cool.
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I mean, yeah.
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And it just shows the importance of having someone who believes in you, no matter like what it what field you're in, having someone who believes in you really does make a difference.
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Massively, yeah.
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I mean, I didn't know anything about the industry, I didn't know anything about deals, managers, uh, bookers, anything like that, you know.
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And he actually grew up very close to where myself and Mark and Vinnie grew up as well.
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So we were thinking, I mean, well, he knows he's done it.
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We owe a hell of a lot to Ronan.
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And there was a couple of other people along the way as well who just opened doors and kept with us.
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Um, like Phil Phil McGee is the Irish producer, he's one of my best mates, one of the band's best mates as well.
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He has been there as well.
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He grew up in the same estate as me and Mark.
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He had a huge impact.
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We were very lucky to just be surrounded by great people.
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Like our the first producer on our record, Stephen Harris, as well, was incredible.
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I remember first meeting him, I couldn't even speak because of what he had done.
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Like he's got a Grammy to his name.
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Yeah, he's a Grammy.
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He's worked with like U2, Dave Matthews and Santana, and yeah, I mean, I froze uh the first time I met him, and we didn't do anything.
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I couldn't even sing.
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But then we came back a few years later and had songs, and I was more confident.
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And I mean, we still meet some great people.
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It's kind of like the domino effect, you know.
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It's it's not an easy industry as well.
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I feel very lucky and incredibly grateful to be doing what I do, you know.
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I'm obsessed with songwriting.
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I can attest that you're obsessed literally any hour of the day and night.
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You are either at the piano or by the guitar or like humming a melody or just pulling over on the side of the road to like write lyrics in your notes up.
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I mean, it can be a little annoying at times.
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I can imagine it's weird from from your point of view, yeah.
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It's I I just love it, you know.
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Writing songs is wild.
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When you meet another songwriter, I'm like, ah, you're like me, you know.
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You do what I do.
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But I think it's it's a certain way of being, um, and you're either like that or you're not, you know.
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Yeah.
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I have some great friends who are songwriters, and they're the same.
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They just they're kind of always on age waiting for that, you know, waiting for that next song, and you never know when it's gonna come, you know.
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Actually, there's a song on this album inspired by a movie.
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I watched uh Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, and then I just was like ran.
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I mean, I ran to the piano straight after, and I just wrote this song kind of about that.
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What's the song?
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It's called The One For Me.
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Uh I wrote it a few years back.
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I was about to start humbling it then, humming it then.
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This is the thing about being the partner of someone who's creating an album.
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You know that album inside out by the time it ever gets released.
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Like we were you were even going through like the song list for the album a while back, remember?
00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:28.160
I knew it.
00:18:28.559 --> 00:18:32.160
Yeah, and you were saying each title, and I was like huming, and it was almost like a test.
00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:34.400
I was impressed.
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:40.480
Well, yeah, I mean, a lot of people don't see how much goes into making music as well.
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:49.920
You see it because because of me, but um like mixing, mastering the recording process, writing the song is the first part, you know.
00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:57.279
Like it's it's a long process, and a lot of a lot of sweat, blood, and tears goes into it, goes into every song.
00:18:57.279 --> 00:19:07.279
And I really like to hone in and just you know, make sure it's right for me because I want to be able to stand behind everything that's released, you know.
00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:22.640
We're very, very lucky as well that we get to work with great mixers and mastering engineers and producers, just great people that we've kind of met over the years.
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:24.720
It's awesome, you know.
00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:26.480
But a lot goes into it.
00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:27.440
It's a lot.
00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:32.319
And music now these days is so disposable and it's so saturated.
00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:35.200
There's just is that controversial of you to say?
00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:42.480
Uh no, not really, because I don't know the exact figure, but like how many songs are released a day on Spotify?
00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:43.119
You can look that up.
00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:44.720
Hundreds of days, probably.
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:46.000
Probably millions.
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:46.640
Millions.
00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:48.160
I don't know, maybe a million.
00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:48.559
I don't know.
00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:51.039
Do you think AI has something to do with that?
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:56.480
Yeah, well, AI is just another thing to throw in the mix there.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:58.480
That old curveball.
00:19:58.480 --> 00:20:10.319
Let's not go down that rabbit hole, but it's so disposable, but at the same time, it's art, and for me, like I put so much into it, you know.
00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:16.240
And I know that there will be people who'll just press play and then three seconds they'll skip.
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:17.839
That's just the way it is, you know.
00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:21.759
I think it's harder now than it was even five years ago, ten years ago.
00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:26.480
It's probably more meaningful though when it does connect because it's cut through the noise.
00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:27.519
True, yeah.
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:40.240
Look, I mean, look, we're very lucky that we have an incredible fan base and they're very loyal and they really love what we put out and what we do, you know, and they stand behind us, which is incredible.
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:43.759
So we're lucky, you know, in that sense.
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:45.920
But um Well you don't take it for granted either.
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:46.960
No, not at all.
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.720
I mean, we'd be nowhere without them.
00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:52.079
Are the fans what kept you going during the tough times?
00:20:52.079 --> 00:21:05.039
Well, obviously the music kept you going too, because it was your release, but when you're touring and you're experiencing anxiety and panic attacks and you're internalizing it and you're not communicating it, like what kept you going?
00:21:05.039 --> 00:21:29.599
I know that you're a very resilient person, but outside of yourself, what kept you going to I mean you've done some mad stuff when you haven't been feeling the best, like performing with sunstroke, touring and performing with pneumonia when you should really have been in bed, a bronchitis, like you very rarely let that get in the way.
00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:37.359
There was one time when a panic attack stopped you in your tracks and you had to cancel a show, and you very quickly like put on the show again to make up for it.
00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:39.279
But what kept you going?
00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:46.799
I think I I have this thing, I have this resilience that I'm very lucky to have.
00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:48.559
I don't know where it comes from.
00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:59.759
Because even back when I was you know a teenager and going like or when I had my first panic attack, and there was always something there that kept me.
00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:04.960
Going and I don't know what that is, and I don't know where I got it, but I'm very, very thankful for it.
00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:09.200
And with touring, you know, you're kind of just thrown into it.
00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:16.480
There's no rule book for touring, and especially when you're young, partying and you know, everything is there for you.
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:18.720
It's very easy to self-combust.
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:22.000
Um I just kind of kept going.
00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:24.799
I think adrenaline does a lot for you.
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:29.279
There was times where I did like nine gigs in a day, I remember South by Southwest.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:39.519
Uh it's a festival for up-and-coming artists in in America, and I did like nine shows straight off the plane, no sleep.
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:41.440
It was crazy.
00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:46.240
And I look back at them now and like my voice like stayed in good shape.
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:47.599
It was really, really good.
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:50.240
And I have no idea how I did that.
00:22:50.240 --> 00:22:52.079
I d I don't know.
00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:57.440
But uh yeah, I did a show in Italy where I had bronchitis and then it turned into pneumonia.
00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:04.960
And then in Australia, I got sunstroke, did the gig, and then afterwards I went to a hotel room.
00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:06.480
And didn't move for two days.
00:23:06.799 --> 00:23:08.079
Yeah, in a dark room.
00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:10.400
That's what you're supposed to do, and just drink loads of water.
00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:12.880
But an ambulance brought me to the hotel.
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:13.839
It's crazy.
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:15.519
The glamour of it all, huh?
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:17.039
Yeah, I mean it's it's wild.
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:20.400
People don't see the that the gruelling side.
00:23:20.400 --> 00:23:21.440
Yeah, it's tough.
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:21.920
Like it.
00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:23.680
I'm much better now.
00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:25.359
Like, I look after myself.
00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:36.799
I think really it's kind of sad, but I was so anxious and I was so awkward everywhere except music.
00:23:37.039 --> 00:23:48.480
So, like talking to people, I was usually very shy and nervous, and like I just I had this secret, and it was that I was how do I explain this?
00:23:48.480 --> 00:24:10.240
I thought I was broken because I had this these panic attacks and I was ashamed of them and you know, depression and stuff, and I didn't want to talk about it because I felt like if I talked about it, people would judge me for it and they wouldn't support me, and it would just make me weird, weirder than I already was.
00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:15.519
Now that was all completely irrational, but that's what the conclusion I had come to in my head.
00:24:15.519 --> 00:24:24.720
So everywhere I went, I just felt really bad and sad and low and awkward, and I had to try really hard all the time.
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:28.880
The only time I didn't have to try was music.
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:37.839
So I would look forward to the gig and I would look forward to singing and I would look forward to writing a song, and anything outside of that was hard.
00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:50.480
So it was weird, you know, and then I was just very, very fortunate as well and lucky that it worked out because then I grew up touring, you know, from twenty-three onwards.
00:24:50.480 --> 00:25:09.680
Like relentlessly touring and gigging and recording albums and stuff, and then I'm only really kind of I only in the past few years I've actually started to look outside of music and you know, I found fitness and like you know, I like audiobooks and stuff like that and learning, you know.
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:11.519
I think that made me very sad.
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:19.680
I'm literally like my lives are literally watering because the fact that everything was hard, but the music.
00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:20.480
Ugh.
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:22.880
Yeah you've never said that before.
00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:23.599
Yeah.
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:24.960
Like that to me.
00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:29.359
I don't think I've ever said that to anybody, but that's just I'm literally crying.
00:25:29.359 --> 00:25:30.640
Yeah, I know, yeah.
00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:33.440
It's uh Yeah, but you cry at like music.
00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:39.119
No, but I mean I don't normally cry when you Yeah in this type of conversation.
00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:44.400
Well, it it was really hard though, but I was lucky I had music, you know.
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:48.160
Do you remember the first time you told me about your anxiety?
00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:52.880
No, but we've had some very funny moments.
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:55.519
I mean I mean this wasn't a funny moment.
00:25:55.519 --> 00:25:57.440
We went to see Ed Sharon.
00:25:57.440 --> 00:25:58.079
Do you remember the night?
00:25:58.720 --> 00:26:00.000
Yeah, no, that was wild though.
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:00.480
That was crazy.
00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:02.160
And the three arena I'm talking about.
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:07.839
Yeah, and I remember, and he had an after party, and then I I had to leave because I just ran away.
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:10.880
And I thought you were running away because you didn't want to be with me.
00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:13.599
I was like, oh no, I'm crapping his style.
00:26:14.319 --> 00:26:15.680
You're kind of weird though.
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:17.839
I just didn't want to say it, you know.
00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:19.119
I was keeping around.
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:22.880
But we were standing outside Brooks, wasn't it?
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:30.160
I don't know, you were really deep into a panic attack and you were like, uh, I have this I have this thing, these really bad panic attacks.
00:26:30.160 --> 00:26:33.359
It's okay if you don't want to like hang out or whatever.
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:34.400
I was like, what?
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:36.799
Why wouldn't I want to hang out?
00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:40.000
You know, just because you have anxiety and panic attacks.
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:42.079
Like to you, it was like an earth-shattering thing.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:44.559
It is that you thought that I would push you away.
00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:54.079
And then to me, uh I I think you were pushing me, you were pushing me away because you were anticipating that I would push you away because of your anxiety.
00:26:54.319 --> 00:26:58.000
So Yeah, but I had no self-it's that catastrophic thinking.
00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:08.480
I think I think like I yeah, I as I said, I had come to the conclusion in my head that I was broken, and that if people found out I was broken they'd reject you.
00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:10.960
It wasn't even a fear of rejection.
00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:14.559
Like, I mean uh rejection is a part of life, you know.
00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:44.799
I look, I've been in therapy for like so many years now, and I go like every week, pretty much every week, sometimes every second week, but like I've learned so much and I I about myself and I'm finally feel like I feel like I know who I am and I'm confident in who I am and um I I actually enjoy things outside of music now as well, which is sounds normal, but that's a big deal for me.
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:47.759
I like fitness and you know I look fitness.
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:49.839
I look after myself, I don't drink, I don't smoke.
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:50.480
I don't know.
00:27:50.480 --> 00:28:00.880
I love learning and I'm fascinated by life and by people and stories and you love psychology and philosophy and philosophy, and I I'm obsessed.
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:05.920
Like I listen to audiobooks and every day in the gym and stuff, just different things.
00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:07.440
I'm I'm obsessed with learning.
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:11.599
Yeah, and it all inspires music, it all comes back to music still.
00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:26.000
I think fitness helps my music, helps me sing, and my stamina, and then you know, reading and and watching movies and being fascinated by people and uh and all that that all helps songwriting as well, you know.
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:41.440
So in a weird way it still all comes back to to music, but I'm just in a better place, and maybe that just comes with age as well, um, because a lot of people would say, I'm young, we're young, but I think we're somewhere in the middle, and that scares the crap out of me as well.
00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:51.279
I'm more aware of the passing of time now and how important it is to appreciate what you've got, you know, because you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:54.000
That's like that new code line song.
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:56.720
Uh when you're on the young, that's the tagline, you know.
00:28:56.720 --> 00:29:03.440
So if people were to take a message from it, it would be just, you know, appreciate what you got, take stock.
00:29:03.839 --> 00:29:06.640
Well, speaking of the single, we it leads into the album.
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:10.640
What can fans expect of the album?
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:14.240
Well, it's our final album.
00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:17.440
Uh I spent a lot of time on it.
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:21.680
And I've got to work with some great people as well.
00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:26.160
I feel very fortunate to be able to have done that.
00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:28.480
What kind of sounds are we?
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:30.400
I mean, I know what kind of sounds.
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:31.279
All the sounds.
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:32.160
Great sounds.
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:32.880
Great sounds.
00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:34.000
Amazing sounds.
00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:35.839
Wait, Liaaries, sounds.
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:39.519
No, but is there a song that you're really excited for people to hear?
00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:41.119
Like a first single aside.
00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:44.000
Like, do you have some some standouts?
00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:48.880
Every song for me is means something, and every song has its own song.
00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:51.039
Oh, but is there a standout or two?
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:53.039
It depends what mood you're in.
00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:55.759
Like, I I obviously love Without You.
00:29:55.759 --> 00:29:58.559
That's our wedding song from last year.
00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:03.839
You know, so it's our wedding song, so that's obviously gonna mean a lot to me.
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:05.599
And it's a beautiful song.
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:06.640
Thank you for writing it.
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:15.200
I mean, the last time I wrote a wedding song was for Phil, and that was the one, and that's become a lot of people's wedding song now, strangely enough.
00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:28.880
But uh on this album, there's Without You, which I wrote for for us for our wedding, and then also there's All I'll Ever Need, which is a song I wrote for a friend's wedding a few years back.
00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:30.000
So there's two on it.
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.000
But but but the song itself, but the album itself is full of highs and lows.
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:36.640
There's some really uh sad songs.
00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:44.880
There's a song called Save You Now, which like I wrote uh two years back, going through a bit of a dark point.
00:30:44.880 --> 00:31:03.279
I was uh not struggling, but uh I was just gone through a bit of a dark point, and I wrote this song, and it's just a vent, uh, but the vocal is really powerful, and I think it's a really powerful song, and uh it's beautiful, it's quite dark, which I like sometimes.
00:31:03.279 --> 00:31:07.039
Um but then there's also poppy songs and stuff.
00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:11.119
The first single is quite it's quite pop, but it's emotional.
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:29.279
Um and then yeah, I mean there's some indie songs, and it it's it's cool, it's very scary releasing something, and I don't think that'll ever change, but I've always made it a mission of mine to be able to stand behind a record, an album.
00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:34.240
I want to be able to look myself in the mirror and be like, yeah, okay, I I'm proud of this.
00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:45.519
And it's a high bar because you know, our music has reached people all around the world, and you know, we've had success, so the bar just seems to be getting higher.
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:48.079
Um, so it's it's easier said than done.
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:50.000
But but I'm proud of this record.
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:50.720
It's been cool.
00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:57.200
I won't go into Music Speak because you'll be like No, I love Music Speak, it's my favorite type of speak.
00:31:57.200 --> 00:31:57.920
Oh, yeah.
00:31:58.160 --> 00:32:03.279
You know, because you you're just it's funny because you'll just listen to three seconds and you're like, no, I don't like it.
00:32:03.279 --> 00:32:03.680
Skip.
00:32:03.680 --> 00:32:04.319
But that's cool.
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:05.440
I do not do that.
00:32:05.599 --> 00:32:07.039
No, well, you do No, I don't.
00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:18.079
I mean, look, there's been times, remember when I was writing I like wherever you were, yeah, and I wrote that song about you for you, and then I was finishing it.
00:32:18.079 --> 00:32:20.079
Well, in fairness, it was like 3 a.m.
00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:33.200
We had a little keyboard in the room and you were sleeping, trying to sleep, and I was like, finishing the song and uh asking you questions about it, and you're like, Yeah, whatever, just just yeah, just well, I was up at 6 a.m.
00:32:33.359 --> 00:32:33.680
for it.
00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:36.799
Actually, in fairness, no, I was totally wrong.
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:38.799
I don't think my boss would have appreciated.
00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:40.400
Sorry, I'm not fucking listening.
00:32:40.400 --> 00:32:46.559
My husband desperately needed to know if if a certain word needed to be changed in the song at 3 a.m.
00:32:46.559 --> 00:32:49.599
and I was the only person there that could help with that.
00:32:49.599 --> 00:32:52.480
Um no, I'm not a skipper really with songs.
00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:55.839
I do give songs a chance, but I definitely know what I like and what I don't like.
00:32:56.079 --> 00:32:56.319
Yeah.
00:32:56.319 --> 00:32:59.440
Um I mean it it r it really helps.
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:12.400
Like because when I write a song or demo a song and then I play it for you, like I playing it for people who aren't as attached to it is such an important experience.
00:33:12.400 --> 00:33:14.720
I think you hear things as well.
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:18.079
Um you're gonna just praise my my taste in music.
00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:19.599
No, I like your taste.
00:33:19.599 --> 00:33:20.319
I think well.
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:21.519
I don't know if you like my taste.
00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:23.279
No, I don't like your taste at all, no.
00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:27.680
My taste in music would be questionable.
00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:38.240
No, I think you like popular music, you know, and and that kind of, you know, with melodies and stuff, you know, if a song doesn't hit and it doesn't I don't know.
00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:43.839
I think it's really important to show people music that you've made and just gauge their reaction.
00:33:43.839 --> 00:33:54.319
Like I've often shown music to friends as well and stuff like that, or my dad, and um, and then I'd hear something that I didn't hear before I played it for them.
00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:57.119
And then I'm like, oh actually, yeah, maybe I should change that.
00:33:57.839 --> 00:34:04.400
Do you have any standout like gigs or performances from over the last 20 years?
00:34:04.400 --> 00:34:08.639
Like might be like a little intimate, like Radio One lounge moment.
00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:12.000
It could be like the first time you played in Glastonbury.
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:17.599
Like, is there a standout moment that is special to you?
00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:19.840
We've done some incredible stuff.
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:23.679
I mean, Marley Park selling that out, 38,000 people.
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:25.119
That was wild.
00:34:25.119 --> 00:34:33.360
But I mean, there's just so many playing in Asia, like Asia, we have incredible fans over there.
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:42.400
Like, we're going over now for a farewell tour, and we're adding shows, you know, venues are being upgraded and it's selling out, it's incredible to see.
00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:58.239
And when when I go over there, like it's one thing hearing people sing back a song, but when there's a language barrier and they're still singing back every song, and I mean every song in the set, like it's not just one song, it's every song.
00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:00.400
It's it's incredible.
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:09.679
I mean, it's really, really hard to put into words, and it's hard to describe what that feels it's just hard to put into words, it's mind-boggling.
00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:10.480
I have to pinch myself.
00:35:10.719 --> 00:35:13.039
It must be even weirder for your parents.
00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:24.559
Yeah, I mean, I've often taught that as well, because when when you're in a band or you're a touring artist or whatever, you kind of get caught in your bubble.
00:35:24.559 --> 00:35:26.800
And it is like it's a job at the end of the day.
00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:29.920
So, like you're doing a show, and I'd have my routine.
00:35:29.920 --> 00:35:45.679
Like, I'd get up, I'd go to the gym, and then I'd do a sound check, and then I'd maybe do some interviews, and then I'd usually go for a power nap as well, half an hour before every show, and I just get into this kind of thing, this routine, and then I could be in whatever city.
00:35:45.679 --> 00:35:46.639
Yeah, it's your number.
00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:49.679
Yeah, and then I just do the gig and I do it the best show I can.
00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:50.880
Vocal warm-up.
00:35:50.880 --> 00:35:54.320
Yeah, that's my way of doing it now.
00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:55.679
A day is very boring.
00:35:55.679 --> 00:36:05.119
But when your parents dip in, yeah, but my parents are kind of just like stepping in and going, holy shit, from the outside in, like it's crazy.
00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:10.960
Like in like Bangkok, you know, playing to thousands of people, and they're all singing back your songs.
00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:12.880
Like, that that must be wild.
00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:18.079
Your dad is always very good for like sitting back and watching the crowd as well, which is very sweet.
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:24.559
Like, he loves seeing how your music is received and like the joy and sometimes sadness on people's faces.
00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:28.880
I've always valued his opinion massively in terms of the music as well.
00:36:28.880 --> 00:36:47.119
I remember we were in a rehearsal room years ago, and we played, he was one of the first people we played All I Want, and we we played it live for him as a band, and it was just us and him, and then he stood up at the end and put his hands in the air and was like, Stadiums, you know.
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:51.519
But like, I mean, that was incredible encouragement.
00:36:51.519 --> 00:36:53.519
We were nothing at the time, you know.
00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:55.760
Like, I think that's very cute.
00:36:55.760 --> 00:36:56.880
We were all working.
00:36:56.880 --> 00:37:05.039
I think Mark was working in a call center, and I was gigging in a bar, you know, at the weekend and in college, but not really in college.
00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:09.760
And Vinny was working in Dixon's, I think, in the airport or something like that.
00:37:09.760 --> 00:37:13.920
Computer shop or something, but or the uh electronic shop.
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:19.119
But uh yeah, um for my dad's say that was very delusionally optimistic.
00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:24.000
But uh, but it was brilliant, and you know, he's still kind of like that.
00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:28.400
He's really encouraging, but and he does have a good ear for music.
00:37:28.400 --> 00:37:30.159
He's really helped.
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:35.920
I mean, my taste in music is from is what he kind of gave me growing up, you know.
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:42.159
For all the parents in the band, uh, it's it's must be must be incredible.
00:37:42.159 --> 00:37:44.719
I mean, you know, we don't have any kids.
00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:50.639
I was gonna say, imagine having a mini us and then they're doing something on this platform.
00:37:50.639 --> 00:38:02.880
It wouldn't be as weird for you because you'd have an idea of what they're experiencing, but imagine having no experience of that world and then all of a sudden your son or daughter or is is Yeah, I know.
00:38:03.039 --> 00:38:11.119
Like my like my my mom, you know, she was uh a prime school teacher, you know, and my dad worked in um uh St.
00:38:11.119 --> 00:38:12.559
Brendan's, you know.
00:38:12.559 --> 00:38:22.480
So they have yeah, very different worlds, and then I like even the idea of music as a job was not really doable.
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:29.760
They were always like, be sensible, stay in college, or go to college, try to go to college, you know, get some sort of degree.
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:31.679
A backup plan is always important.
00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:34.559
It's smart and it's sensible, and they were right.
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:37.360
But I can't imagine you as a lawyer though.
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:39.360
That's what you were studying to do.
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:44.960
There were times though where like they um I I was I was an absolute nightmare.
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:56.559
Like just kind of do no, like I I would have just been from the outside in, I could have just looked like a drifter or like someone who had no head in the clouds.
00:38:56.559 --> 00:38:59.039
Yeah, head in the clouds, you know.
00:38:59.039 --> 00:39:02.639
Um but then it all clicked, luckily.
00:39:02.639 --> 00:39:05.760
And you know, I'm very lucky for it.
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:08.320
I think just keep going.
00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:14.960
What are you most excited about for the next chapter?
00:39:15.519 --> 00:39:19.119
Well, I'm very excited about this final album.
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:26.159
I really hope that the our current fans love it, and I hope new people love it as well.
00:39:26.159 --> 00:39:27.599
I hope it travels far.
00:39:27.599 --> 00:39:31.599
I'm very excited about this final tour, tour in the world.
00:39:31.599 --> 00:39:38.719
We're going all over Asia, Australia, Europe, and hopefully we might do some more.
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:45.920
It's a little bit up in the air, but but yeah, and then after that, you know, I'm looking forward to continuing music.
00:39:45.920 --> 00:40:15.039
I've written songs for some other people, and I I want to continue doing that or do that more, and I also want to do like solo stuff as well, fully solo stuff, and I'm always writing and hopefully yeah, just living and enjoying the moment as much as I can and staying healthy and continually working on myself, learning more, growing.
00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:20.480
That's kind of it, you know, making the most of the time that uh I've got here.
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:26.239
And uh annoying you, forgetting to take the bins out, not cleaning the kitchen.
00:40:26.239 --> 00:40:27.599
I do clean the kitchen.
00:40:27.840 --> 00:40:28.159
Do you?
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:29.360
I do clean the kitchen.
00:40:29.679 --> 00:40:30.079
Do you though?
00:40:30.239 --> 00:40:30.800
Do you though?
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:31.360
Do you though?
00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:32.639
I do clean the kitchen.
00:40:32.880 --> 00:40:38.320
I think your version of cleaning the kitchen and my version of cleaning the kitchen, like in most households, I know I'm quite clean.
00:40:38.320 --> 00:40:38.800
It's different.
00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:49.039
I'm not saying you're dirty or messy, but I think in a couple there's always one who has another a different understanding of how they like to keep their space.
00:40:49.039 --> 00:40:52.559
I can get very stressed if things are even a tiny bit untidy.
00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:55.280
You'll you'll yeah, you too.
00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:59.760
You'll always know if I'm stressed because you'll come downstairs and I'm just like furiously cleaning out of nowhere.
00:41:00.079 --> 00:41:00.559
Oh yeah.
00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:02.000
And it's already clean.
00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:06.960
With the hoover and an angry, not an angry hood, just like just like a focused face.
00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:12.400
What do you call that when the mouth's like no, a downturn, upturn, downturn smile.
00:41:12.400 --> 00:41:15.840
Um no, I just get very, I don't know, laser focused.
00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:16.880
And I just started seeing it.
00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:21.679
No, if it if it was if it was an emoji, it would be, do you know the one with the line?
00:41:21.920 --> 00:41:22.559
Oh, the line.
00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:23.679
Yeah, it'd be that face.
00:41:23.679 --> 00:41:24.079
Really?
00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:25.760
And and a and a hoover, yeah.
00:41:25.760 --> 00:41:27.760
Well but I mean I do the same.
00:41:27.760 --> 00:41:31.760
I get very kind of I think your environment is really important.
00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:41.360
When you when you have like even my car, like it when it's dirty, I'm a little bit I don't know, a clean environment, a clean room and stuff for me.
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:43.039
Some people are the complete opposite.
00:41:43.039 --> 00:41:44.880
And I used to be the complete opposite.
00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:45.360
Yeah.
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:47.360
Now I'm quite organized.
00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:49.920
Like, I mean, like my wardrobe was very organized.
00:41:50.239 --> 00:41:54.079
I remember when we met and I saw your suitcase, I was like, seriously.
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:55.760
Yeah, it's just a ball of clothes.
00:41:56.000 --> 00:41:56.880
Oh my goodness.
00:41:56.880 --> 00:41:59.360
I was like, okay, I don't even know where to begin.
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:04.400
And that and the frustrating part is like I would and this was really early in our dating years.
00:42:04.400 --> 00:42:10.079
I would I would rearrange your suitcase and then within like one second it would be Yeah, but the thing is, right?
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:14.400
With touring and suitcases, that's a whole other podcast episode.
00:42:14.400 --> 00:42:14.800
Okay.
00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:18.800
It's really difficult to figure it out.
00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:20.079
Yeah, because when you're okay.
00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:21.599
No, it is.
00:42:21.599 --> 00:42:22.880
It's very hard.
00:42:22.880 --> 00:42:26.000
What I've learned is you have to underpack.
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:38.480
You can't overpack like like when you're going for like two months, you know, six weeks at a time, and you know, you have to get your touring stuff, and then there's all this stuff.
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:40.800
Like you have to be very organized to the day.
00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:46.559
Very curious to see what you're like when you're packing up for your for your big tour now in the next few months.
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:47.119
Yeah.
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:48.960
I mean You might be a little rusty.
00:42:48.960 --> 00:42:51.280
You might you might underpack to an extreme.
00:42:51.599 --> 00:42:52.400
I probably will.
00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:56.400
I mean, I still travel quite a lot, like, and I not for six weeks at a time.
00:42:56.400 --> 00:43:08.079
Yeah, not for six weeks at six weeks at a time, but like I do kind of know what I'm gonna wear and like wash, you know, I pack so it's it all fits in everything I'm using.
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:17.440
It is a it is a black and white version of you now, I have to say, these days when it comes to packing and yeah, I mean I I just changed the system.
00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:18.960
I'm a lot more disciplined, yeah.
00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:21.679
But yeah, jeez.
00:43:21.679 --> 00:43:36.320
There were times where like back in the day I'd overpack, I think my suitcase burst one time and I was just dragging it through London, like with the wheels gone off it, and it was like after after a two-month tour on the road, it was a disaster.
00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:44.000
There's always little tour hacks and secrets, and I remember my my favorite headline about Coteline ever was that uh back in the day.
00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:44.960
Sock and roll.
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:46.159
Yeah, sock and roll.
00:43:46.159 --> 00:43:50.960
One of your touring hacks was just like because you're constantly moving from place to place, yeah.
00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:54.079
Was like to throw away your socks, so you'd buy like really cheap.
00:43:54.079 --> 00:43:59.679
I mean, it sounds so wasteful now, but you would have bought like really cheap like a euro for like two euro for.
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:00.480
Seven pairs.
00:44:00.639 --> 00:44:01.039
Yeah, exactly.
00:44:01.039 --> 00:44:06.480
And then you'd throw away because like laundry and things like that would be hard sometimes to get sorted.
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:10.079
And you made the paper sock and roll was the headline.
00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:11.280
So funny.
00:44:11.599 --> 00:44:16.079
I I think like I just enjoy things more now.
00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:21.760
I actually enjoy going out and like looking after or like ironing and stuff.
00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:22.719
Like when I'm away.
00:44:22.719 --> 00:44:23.840
No, believe it or not.
00:44:23.840 --> 00:44:24.559
No, I wouldn't.
00:44:24.960 --> 00:44:26.079
Okay, no one can see my face.
00:44:26.079 --> 00:44:30.480
But he said ironing and I'm like, I've never seen you iron in my whole entire life.
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:42.800
When I'm away, like if I'm in, you know, staying in a hotel or something, I'll I'll just have the first thing I'll do is I'll get into the hotel and then I'll take all my clothes out and put them in the wardrobe.
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:52.320
So if I'm there for a week or whatever, I'll have everything lined up and make it as home as possible because that way it feels how times have changed.
00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:53.440
I know, yeah, it's wild.
00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:56.880
I used to just fall through the door and then pass out on the floor.
00:44:56.880 --> 00:45:02.239
And then I'd just roll over and get up and drag my suitcase back onto the bus, and then I'd be on stage.
00:45:02.239 --> 00:45:04.239
There was one time I remember years ago.
00:45:04.639 --> 00:45:05.760
Was this the Metallica story?
00:45:06.079 --> 00:45:07.440
No, I well, that was in Japan.
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:13.519
No, but there was a one time we were doing a gig UK one time.
00:45:13.519 --> 00:45:18.239
The lads went on stage, and or they were just about to go on stage.
00:45:18.239 --> 00:45:24.079
It was like two minutes, and the entrance music had started, and then the tour manager came running in.
00:45:24.079 --> 00:45:25.760
He was like, Where the hell is Steve?
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:26.239
What the hell?
00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:28.719
And I was in the shower eating a sandwich.
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:29.760
Oh god.
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:30.880
Steve.
00:45:31.280 --> 00:45:31.760
Yes.
00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:34.239
Eating a sandwich in the shower.
00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:35.199
What were you thinking?
00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:37.840
Because I I don't know, I'd slept and then I had.
00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:39.519
You were just on a different time zone.
00:45:39.760 --> 00:45:44.719
Yeah, but like I was kind of I need to eat and I also need to shower, and then so I did both.
00:45:44.719 --> 00:45:48.480
And then I got Is that door manager still your door manager?
00:45:48.480 --> 00:45:51.440
No, that was that was that was the No wonder he gave up.
00:45:51.440 --> 00:45:52.639
I wouldn't blame him.
00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:53.920
That was Lewis.
00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:58.239
He was actually he's he was awesome, but yeah, uh yeah, I don't blame him.
00:45:58.239 --> 00:46:01.280
Uh no, we have we have Neil now, and he's amazing.
00:46:01.280 --> 00:46:02.880
He's been with us since the very beginning.
00:46:03.360 --> 00:46:05.920
This world also comes with some really special moments too.
00:46:05.920 --> 00:46:10.719
Like you're one of the few lucky ones that get to meet your heroes along the way as well.
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:11.119
Yeah.
00:46:11.280 --> 00:46:14.800
And I know you have some really great stories of meeting some of your heroes.
00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:16.320
Do you want to share one or two?
00:46:16.719 --> 00:46:23.280
Yeah, I mean, it is crazy that we've got to meet so many superstars.
00:46:23.280 --> 00:46:32.559
Do you know when someone's famous, but then they're so famous that when you see them, or if you do get the opportunity to see them, you're like, oh my god, they're a real person.
00:46:32.559 --> 00:46:34.639
Like that's did you have that moment?
00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:36.000
That's a different level of fame.
00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:37.519
Yeah, I've had it a few times.
00:46:37.519 --> 00:46:49.519
Uh there was one in South Korea, we were playing a show in Seoul, and um I remember walking into the gym, and so you had to walk through this pool.
00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:56.639
It was odd because the pool was there, and then you walked through the pool and into the gym.
00:46:56.639 --> 00:47:07.920
And I was walking through the pool, and there's this guy there with his leg over his head, and he was like shredded, and he was doing this crazy yoga, and he was like old-ish, but looked incredible.
00:47:07.920 --> 00:47:15.760
Um, and uh, I just kind of like walked by him, you know, and you're like trying to there wasn't a lot of space, so I was like, Oh, sorry, cool.
00:47:15.760 --> 00:47:17.280
But uh but that was Sting.
00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:24.639
Uh we were supporting Sting at that show uh later on that day, and then we got to meet him as well after the gig.
00:47:24.639 --> 00:47:28.400
The guys got to meet him over a glass of wine or something in the lobby.
00:47:28.400 --> 00:47:39.760
But yeah, that was bizarre um to be greeted by Sting doing yoga uh half naked uh first thing in the morning in Korea, South Korea.
00:47:39.760 --> 00:47:57.519
I we got to meet Bono and U2 on a couple of occasions, and I'm a super fan of U2 and and Bono, and every time I feel like I try and talk to him, I just mumble, and I'm like a fangirl, and I always make a fool of myself.
00:47:57.519 --> 00:47:58.480
That's how I feel.
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:12.639
But um But yeah, we we I think I wrote a letter to him originally just saying thanks for inspiring us and all this, and we managed to get in and watch them rehearse and and that was unbelievable.
00:48:12.639 --> 00:48:18.960
Actually, the craziest one was in LA at a party that we played at.
00:48:18.960 --> 00:48:22.400
It was in a back garden.
00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:23.760
Bill Lawrence, yeah.
00:48:24.000 --> 00:48:25.039
The creator of Scrubs.
00:48:26.880 --> 00:48:31.760
And his wife were having a charity thing in the garden.
00:48:31.760 --> 00:48:36.000
And I remember I played with the Dipsy Chick, and that was surreal.
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:41.280
There was loads of people at the party, loads of actors and producers and directors and musicians and all.
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:45.360
So everywhere you looked was somebody really super cool and super well known.
00:48:45.360 --> 00:48:47.679
But I was cueing for the toilet.
00:48:47.679 --> 00:48:51.360
They had these portalous portalous in the garden because it was like a mini festival.
00:48:51.360 --> 00:48:57.039
And I was coming out of the portaloo, and then I just like walked into Tony Hawk.
00:48:57.039 --> 00:49:00.400
And it's like, what the hell?
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:02.320
I'm like, he's a real person.
00:49:02.320 --> 00:49:12.400
Funny story, like, we actually bonded and kind of met skateboarding before we played music together, like me, Mark, and Vinny in the band.
00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:16.159
So skateboarding was always a big part of our lives growing up as well.
00:49:16.159 --> 00:49:18.639
So to see Tony Hawk, it was incredible.
00:49:18.639 --> 00:49:25.119
And he said he listened to our music and he was gonna go home and listen to it more, and he loved Ireland.
00:49:25.440 --> 00:49:28.000
Did you geek out and tell him how much he meant to you?
00:49:28.239 --> 00:49:30.880
I should have stayed there and spoke to him.
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:35.679
I just kind of like was in absolute shock and awe.
00:49:35.679 --> 00:49:42.960
I was like a deer in headlights, and I said, Oh my god, Tony Hawk, I freaking love skateboarding.
00:49:42.960 --> 00:49:48.480
I've completed all your games, his Tony Hawk pro skater games on the PlayStation.
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:56.079
And I said, We we we used to skateboard together before we even played music, and then I just walked off.
00:49:56.079 --> 00:49:58.639
I think he was still talking, and I just walked off.
00:49:58.800 --> 00:49:59.599
Why would you do that?
00:49:59.599 --> 00:50:02.480
I don't know, because I know it's the awkwardness in you coming out.
00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:05.119
Yeah, I was super awkward, but that was for real.
00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:15.360
Like, because I remember that party because I was privileged enough, privileged enough to be there, and it was so funny because you were, you know, you were sound checking and then obviously we left early.
00:50:15.360 --> 00:50:19.760
No, but you were sound checking and you were waiting to perform and all these things, like you were busy.
00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:26.239
So I was just kind of like wandering around my own this like Hollywood party, and I'm like, oh my god, it's Cindy Crawford.
00:50:26.239 --> 00:50:30.719
There's Mini Driver, there's literally all of the house of Scrubs.
00:50:30.719 --> 00:50:32.719
And uh super cool.
00:50:32.719 --> 00:50:34.960
It was a very strange scenario to be in.
00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:37.599
But we left as soon as you were done and we went to the cinema.
00:50:38.159 --> 00:50:38.960
I know, yeah.
00:50:39.199 --> 00:50:41.760
That's kind of dynamic.
00:50:41.760 --> 00:50:47.599
Not because we're not grateful to be there, but because it's almost too surreal to be a part of it.
00:50:47.599 --> 00:50:52.480
So it's like you normalize the moment by doing something really normal, like the cinema afterwards.
00:50:52.719 --> 00:50:57.920
Yeah, I've always been um I've always kind of shied away from those things.
00:50:57.920 --> 00:50:59.280
Uh I've always left early.
00:50:59.280 --> 00:51:02.079
Or not gone if I if I didn't have to.
00:51:02.400 --> 00:51:07.840
Another LA experience, there was uh a One Direction party or something.
00:51:07.840 --> 00:51:12.800
And you chose to go to McDonald's with me instead of Schmoozin at the party.
00:51:13.039 --> 00:51:13.360
Yeah.
00:51:13.840 --> 00:51:15.440
It was like, gosh, he must really like me.
00:51:15.599 --> 00:51:21.920
It was Nicole Scherzinger and a few others, and uh yeah, we went to McDonald's.
00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:24.079
I had some fries instead.
00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:24.880
Yeah.
00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:25.840
Oh gosh.
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:31.840
I feel like at that time though, as well, you uh I was really, really burnt out though.
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:33.039
You were really burnt out, yeah.
00:51:33.039 --> 00:51:37.119
I was so tired and I didn't have the social battery.
00:51:37.119 --> 00:51:37.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:51:37.519 --> 00:51:39.760
Like my social battery anyway is tiny.
00:51:39.760 --> 00:51:46.400
To be honest, I need I'm the type of person who goes to something like that and then I have to go home and I have to.
00:51:46.400 --> 00:51:49.440
I need I like being alone.
00:51:49.440 --> 00:51:50.639
I'm comfortable in my own.
00:51:51.119 --> 00:51:54.320
I mean, that's also why we didn't really have a day two of for our wedding.
00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:57.920
Because we we knew that we would be just like our social battery.
00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:01.599
Like, we literally, I think, were like sleeping for like two or three days.
00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:02.239
I know.
00:52:03.039 --> 00:52:03.920
Like, what just happened?
00:52:04.239 --> 00:52:06.000
I like I'm low-key.
00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:07.199
Like, I you are low-key.
00:52:09.599 --> 00:52:17.519
But I remember back then really having to like um be like, no, Steve, I think this I think this is an opportunity that we should definitely not just go to the cinema instead.
00:52:17.840 --> 00:52:18.719
You're right as well.
00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:28.000
And I think sometimes that was because your social anxiety was like high, or yes, on top of that, you're also burnt out, but it's important as well to do that stuff.
00:52:28.159 --> 00:52:36.800
I'm I realize it now, you know, to to like meet people and network and stuff, especially in like the music industry or creative industries, you know.
00:52:36.800 --> 00:52:39.280
I'm only kind of learning that now, which is very funny.
00:52:39.280 --> 00:52:52.559
You know, I've somehow managed to to get through it all, but you know, that's also it's because I was in a band, you know, so like um I could kind of step away and they'd talk to people.
00:52:53.039 --> 00:52:54.239
Well you were only young.
00:52:54.239 --> 00:52:55.760
You were only learning.
00:52:56.559 --> 00:52:59.519
You're going back to the single you had your training wheels on.
00:52:59.519 --> 00:53:01.599
And I still have them on.
00:53:01.840 --> 00:53:03.360
Would you do anything differently?
00:53:03.760 --> 00:53:05.440
Would I do anything differently?
00:53:05.440 --> 00:53:07.679
I wouldn't be so hard on myself.
00:53:07.840 --> 00:53:08.159
Yeah.
00:53:08.400 --> 00:53:15.119
Because I mean it's good to push yourself, you know, but there's a healthy way to do it, and there's an unhealthy way to do it.
00:53:15.119 --> 00:53:18.400
And I was doing it definitely in an unhealthy way.
00:53:18.400 --> 00:53:24.960
I was beating myself up and I was dragging myself down, and you know, therapy has helped massively with that.
00:53:24.960 --> 00:53:30.320
And so if I could give myself uh one bit of advice, it would be don't be so hard on yourself, you know.
00:53:30.320 --> 00:53:33.840
Give give yourself a pat on the back, you know, at times, you know.
00:53:35.039 --> 00:53:43.519
I think over the next few months you'll definitely have a chance to give yourself a pat on the back as you wrap up this massive and have panic attacks every day.
00:53:43.519 --> 00:53:45.679
No, this massive chapter.
00:53:45.679 --> 00:53:53.360
And uh yeah, just really get to appreciate and go down memory lane in a in a lovely way as you wrap up with the Codaline chapter.
00:53:53.360 --> 00:53:56.320
And yeah, it's a big yeah.
00:53:56.320 --> 00:53:57.360
It's a big year.
00:53:57.760 --> 00:54:01.599
No, I look, it's it's it's a big year, it's a long time coming.
00:54:01.599 --> 00:54:02.880
I'm really excited about it.
00:54:02.880 --> 00:54:08.800
I'm excited to hear people singing songs and you know, to hear new songs as well.
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:10.800
So I think it's gonna be great.
00:54:11.039 --> 00:54:14.639
You know, it's bittersweet, but like it's gonna be awesome.
00:54:14.639 --> 00:54:16.320
I'm really looking forward to it.
00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:30.719
Well, thank you for this lovely chat and for agreeing to do that Pablo Escobar reel with me, which I have got some comments, and people are very shocked that I managed to get it to lip sync to a viral reel.
00:54:31.199 --> 00:54:33.039
I'm not even on TikTok.
00:54:34.079 --> 00:54:35.119
You're on Instagram.
00:54:35.440 --> 00:54:40.639
I am on Instagram, but I I jump in and I'd absolutely, but yeah, I mean it's a bit of fun.
00:54:40.639 --> 00:54:42.079
It's a bit of fun, yeah.
00:54:42.079 --> 00:54:42.400
Yeah.
00:54:42.400 --> 00:54:45.119
I I'm surprised that you actually got me to do that as well.
00:54:47.519 --> 00:54:51.760
And I'm surprised that this actual podcast came together in the end.
00:54:51.760 --> 00:54:53.039
Here's a little fact.
00:54:53.039 --> 00:54:58.239
We recorded this the first time around, and then the file didn't save.
00:54:58.239 --> 00:55:02.400
I managed to resurrect it, and then there was something off with the sound.
00:55:02.400 --> 00:55:18.000
And if it had been anyone else, I would have been crying, crying because, well, all that time and effort, but we were able to sit down again and record the interview again, and uh yeah, I hope you enjoyed it.
00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:25.119
If you did enjoy this chat, I would really appreciate if you could leave a comment or a review or send me a DM.
00:55:25.119 --> 00:55:35.199
I love hearing from you and um hearing what you think helps me be able to build an even better podcast as the episodes go on.
00:55:35.199 --> 00:55:38.480
I'll be back again next week with another great guest.
00:55:38.480 --> 00:55:41.920
In the meantime, go off and enjoy Codoline's new single.
00:55:41.920 --> 00:55:43.199
We were all new.
00:55:43.199 --> 00:55:44.960
See you soon!