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Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode.
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I'm Jake.
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Pleasure to be back with you as always.
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Today I wanted to talk specifically about mindfulness, meditation, awareness, prayer.
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I'm going to say some things that you may not agree with at first, particularly when it comes to free will.
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But by the end of the episode, I'm hoping you'll agree, or at least see the logic and reasoning in what I'm saying.
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In order to understand meditation, it's helpful to understand more about the self, more about what you are, who you are, what you are.
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This flow of processes that we call life.
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Now, if I say I am meditating, that's really actually backwards, quite backwards.
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More accurate is to say meditation is doing me.
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Meditation is what you really are.
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I know.
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That sounds pretty crazy, right?
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Why would I say something like that?
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What do I mean?
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Let me elaborate.
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In meditation, at least the practice of sitting meditation, let's take the Zen tradition, for example, because that's something that I try to practice every morning when I can, ten to thirty minutes a day, somewhere in between.
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Sitting on a cushion with legs crossed, left hand resting on the right, palms open with my thumbs lightly touching together, and my eyes open, but not focused on anything.
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Back straight, focusing on my breath and my posture.
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Now I'm sitting on a cushion, and I'm bringing my conscious awareness to a single point, my breath.
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My straight back.
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My being, my body, basically.
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The breath is a wonderful thing to bring your awareness to because it helps calm the mind, collect your awareness, your attention on one thing.
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You probably don't notice it, but your mind bounces around all day to this and that thing.
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The mind is a very curious sponge.
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It constantly wants to scan the environment, think about things.
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So when we bring the body to a stillness, a sitting position, a dignified one, with legs crossed, back straight, and focusing exclusively on our breath, some interesting things start to happen.
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First of all, the breath is interesting because it is both what we would consider voluntary and involuntary.
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As you've been listening to me thus far, for example, your breath has continued by itself, with no involvement from you, quote unquote, whatsoever.
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But bringing awareness to it, you can technically to what you perceive as control your breath.
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You can hold it, you can increase the velocity of it or the pace or slow it down.
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So the breath is interesting in that regard, in that it is where what we perceive as voluntary and involuntary, they sort of meet.
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The word breath is also the translation of spirit, the old Greek word.
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So why do I bring this up?
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Well, something interesting happens when you bring your awareness to your breath and hold it there as best you can.
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Now, nobody on earth is able to maintain complete attention on their breath without stumbling into a thought or a sound or their environment.
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You know, it's going to jump between your breath and perhaps your butt sitting on the cushion, the feeling of sitting on the cushion, or the feeling of your thumbs slightly touching if you're doing the zen posture.
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But mostly thoughts.
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But the interesting thing is that you'll notice that thoughts will sort of happen by themselves.
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In other words, all that you consider to be you and your willpower, your conscious choices, quote unquote, that you make, your thoughts sort of run on by themselves.
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And the more you sit, the more you become aware to that fact.
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And something happens that's quite interesting is there's a space that will develop between your thoughts and whatever the hell it is that you really are.
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I'm gonna phrase it that way because you really are a pretty big mystery.
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Now you might say to yourself, Well, Jake, I know who I am.
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I'm me.
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I'm a successful XYZ fill in the blank, I'm a dad, I'm a road worker, I'm a Ford F-150 driver, I'm this, I'm that.
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But all of those things are thoughts.
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Thoughts that you, quote unquote, don't control.
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They appear in awareness and then they disappear.
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And the more we sit, the more we cultivate not only our ability to concentrate where our awareness is, but we also strengthen our awareness of being aware.
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Which is what many call mindfulness, is there's a lot of terms that can get confusing.
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We have awareness, mindfulness, meditation, prayer, concentration.
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Where do they all overlap, right?
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Well, the Buddhist tradition, you might say concentration is a focusing of awareness on one thing.
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Like the word concentrate means.
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Awareness would be well, what you're aware of.
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And then mindfulness you might describe as an awareness of awareness or an awareness of what you are aware of.
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Sort of that one layer, extra layer deep that is sort of hard to really pin down.
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But you know that you're aware, and you know when you're aware that you're aware.
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For example, if you pick anyone off the street, you can say, hey, what were you just thinking of?
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And they'll tell you.
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But were they aware that they were thinking of that?
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Were they mindful?
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No.
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For the vast majority of people, the answer is no.
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Their thoughts just carry on.
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They are passengers on the train of thought, and who knows where it's taking them.
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But something interesting happens when you are aware that you're thinking, the train sort of derails and stops, and you come to a place between thoughts.
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See, just like musical notes, there are intervals between thoughts.
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Those who can't hear intervals in music are what we call tone deaf.
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They can hear the note exactly as you hear it, but they don't hear melody.
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They don't hear the beauty of the music.
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Tone deafness is not a hearing problem, it's a perception problem.
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And I bring up this analogy because this is a problem that many people, especially in our modern age, face.
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And that is perceiving the intervals between thoughts, the spaces between activity and doing and thinking.
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And you might say that a sitting mindfulness practice or a meditation practice in the morning helps to strengthen your mind and your ability to dwell sort of in between these thoughts.
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The less intervals you have between thoughts, the more you might say someone has anxiety, which leads to other things like depression.
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Now, earlier I mentioned free will.
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Are you controlling your heart right now?
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No.
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Before I mentioned your breathing, you weren't controlling that either.
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You don't control your circulatory system, you don't control your hair growth, your skin growth, nails.
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All of the regulatory processes of your body, you don't have any control over.
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And I say you in scare quotes because what we define as ourself is really a perception that we have some control over things that we're doing.
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But for example, whatever you decide to have for lunch today, you are going to take ownership of that and say, I chose to have this for lunch.
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I chose using my willpower to have a ham sandwich for lunch.
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But let's go back.
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Thoughts are outside of your control.
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And this is something that you don't need to necessarily experience, although that's very helpful in understanding what I'm saying and really understanding it on an experiential level.
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But you know as well as I do that your thoughts just appear of their own will, just like your heartbeats, just like you might get the hiccups outside of your control, or you might suddenly feel the urge to fart.
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All of those things you don't take ownership of as something that you did using your willpower, yet they happened anyways.
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And the same thing can be said about your thoughts.
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Now, the choice for you to have a ham sandwich for lunch was a thought.
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And, like all thoughts, they are completely outside of what you consider to be you in square scare quotes.
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Now, this might sound like I'm being sort of negative in a way, diminishing what you consider to be you, but I assure you it's quite the opposite.
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Nobody likes to be told that they don't have free will or that they can't make choices.
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What I'm saying is that choices are being made, but you're not the one that's choosing them.
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In other words, there's a verb happening, but there's no noun before the verb.
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I've heard it said somewhere that ego or the sense of self is a shadow cast by grammar.
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Like when we say it is raining, what is this mysterious it that is raining?
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There is nothing.
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There is no it that is raining.
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We say it in a sentence, it is raining.
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But we know there's just raining happening.
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Just in the same exact way that there is a choice to eat a ham sandwich for lunch happening.
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Where we get confused is when we say, I chose to have a ham sandwich for lunch today.
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Now, why do I bring this up?
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And how does this relate to meditation?
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Well, as I mentioned earlier, when you are sitting on a cushion practicing, watching, just watching your breath, that's when you start to notice that thoughts run on by themselves.
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And the more you practice watching your breath, the quieter thoughts get, the more energy will gather and concentrate, if you will, in your being, because it's not being dispersed with discursive, repetitive, incessant thoughts, which for most people often turn into anxiety, especially when you add uh fuel to the fire like lack of sleep or over-caffeination or the stressors of life.
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When you have a complete lack of awareness on top of all these stressors, your thoughts become a dumpster fire very quickly.
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Now, back to free will, I'm going to make a statement that you don't have free will to the extent that you don't understand who you are or what you are.
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If all thoughts, 100% of thoughts, run on their own accord, then you can't make any claim to any thought.
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Now, all of the actions that you take in your day are based on thoughts.
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And if you don't have any control of your thoughts, that means there's no you controlling your actions.
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And don't worry, you'll see where I'm going with this soon.
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And I assure you, this will make you feel good, because thus far everything I've said probably makes you feel agitated.
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You do have free will, but not you, little you, in scare quotes.
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This is where you need to open your mind a little bit to a certain line of thinking or reasoning or logic that is not very entrenched in Western thought, in modern Western thought today.
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You see, in the modern West, the Western thinker looks at the universe as something other than themselves, that you are a separate individual snowflake in a huge universe that is alien or other than you.
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You don't see yourself as part of the whole tapestry that is the universe.
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And this is just a standard way of thinking in today's age.
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Now, when I mention logic and reason, can we use logic and reasoning to see the universe in a different way and our place in it?
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Is that possible?
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And for that, I would point you to some thinkers in the East, in particular the Taoists.
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And the reason is because they point out a logic that is so basic and fundamental and right in front of our faces that we completely overlook it.
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That's part of the game, though.
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Because although what I'm saying to you might sound serious and heavy, it really isn't.
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And the universe, we can derive the meaning of life and the universe and the nature of the universe in ourselves, because we're not separate from it.
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Even if you're the most staunch atheist or nihilist and you believe that everything is random and you know, meaning is just something that we overlay onto reality, you know, whatever your beliefs are, I hope that you can agree that we are from the Big Bang or from the universe.
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We are part of it.
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We are not separate from it.
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We are part and parcel, one with it in a sense.
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Uh, for example, when you see newborn children or even puppies or animals of any kind in life, they love to play.
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So we can therefore assume that the universe has a playful nature to it, because that's simply what has arisen naturally.
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The fact is that when you realize that the universe is playful, it enjoys playing a hide-and-seek game with itself, which ties back into the Taoists.
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Like I was mentioning a little bit earlier here.
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They point out the most simple truth to your inherent nature that's just right in front of your face, which is that all opposites are really one thing.
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All perceived duality is an illusion.
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You you hear up and you know what up means, but you don't know what up means without its correlate down.
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You know what hard means, but you wouldn't know what hard is without soft.
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You know what big means because of its correlate or its opposite small North, South, East, West, man, woman mean nice, fun, boring, bright, dim black, white here, there me, you really need to pause whatever you're doing and really let this truth sink in because it's absolutely paramount that you understand it to see where I'm going with this.
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Like if you visualize an up arrow and a down arrow, and you cover the down arrow, you can still see the up arrow, right?
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So in your mind, you might be thinking to yourself, Well, I can understand what hard and soft are, Jake, but I can pretend to visualize one without the other.
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But I'm really trying to emphasize to you that you cannot do that.
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It's not in the realm of possibility.
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Where one disappears, the other disappears.
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And this includes life, death, or I should say birth and death, existence and non-existence.
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Because a great many people who live in the West are terrified, absolutely mortified of death.
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There's this image that comes to mind for most people that when you die, that's it.
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That you are sort of locked up in a dark room for eternity, never to be seen or heard from again.
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But this is the same fallacy as pretending that I can visualize the down arrow disappearing and the up arrow remains, you know, or or vice versa.
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You can consider your mind this magical knife that slices things in half that are not really separate things.
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It's sort of a prism, if you will, that cuts everything into imaginary pieces, the illusion of Maya, which is what the Hindus call the illusion of measurement or the illusion of separation of all things in life.
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It's like a magic trick, basically, where um one thing is separate from another, and they call it Maya or Maya.
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This goes to Einstein's theory of relativity, right?
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Like if I'm driving in a fast car past somebody on the sidewalk who's motionless, I'm gonna look really fast to them.
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But from my perspective, I'm still, and everything else is moving fast towards me.
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So who's really moving?
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Well, it's all relative.
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This is a great example of this coincidence of opposites that you can't have hard without soft, up without Down, black without white, self without other, is that you are entirely relative to other everything else in the universe.
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In other words, you yourself imply everything that is not you.
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If you've ever seen the seen the yin yang, you know, it looks like two fish sort of chasing each other's tails, one white, one black, and each one has a an opposite color eye.
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This is what that symbol uh tries to convey, essentially.
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This is their entire line of thought, the Taoists.
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Is that although they are different on the outside, they are actually one and the same thing on the inside.
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They are part of one whole.
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They are complete.
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And why do I bring this up?
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Why do I bring up Taoism and the apparent illusion of opposites?
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Because it ties into free will.
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If you are not actually separate from the the rest of the universe, then there's no real you there.
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There's no separate you, I should say.
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And if there's no separate you, then there's no one making decisions.
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Like I said earlier, there is just decisions happening.
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Just like it is raining, there's just rain, thoughts are just thinking themselves.
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There's no Jake behind Jake's thoughts.
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There's just thoughts.
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And the thought that I thought that is just another thought.
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Just with a little I attached to it.
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I Jake did these things.
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I, Jake, thought these things.
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Now when you understand this, you understand that there is only one will that's happening.
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You might call it the big will.
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In the Zen tradition, they call it big mind.
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As opposed to little mind.
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Little me, little old me that's separate from everyone else and the whole universe making decisions in this big scary universe.
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There's just one thing happening.
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And when you realize that, there may be the initial disappointment of your illusion illusory separate ego that I really don't exist.
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Like I do exist, but I don't really exist as a separate entity, that there is just one thing happening.
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One chain of events.
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Now, to tie this into meditation where I started, you can sort of deduce logically that what I'm saying is true.
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Just by hearing it.
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But when you practice meditation, you get to experience it.
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You get to experience the practice, the um the committed effort for a short time, be it five, ten, fifteen minutes, however much time you have in the morning, I encourage you to at least try it for five to ten minutes and simply watch your breath.
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And notice that when thoughts arise, they are just arising of their own nature.
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And the more that you do this, the more that you will not identify with them.
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In other words, you won't identify with your thoughts, with your body, with your experiences anymore.
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Now, again, to the Western mind, this might seem like, in a clinical sense, that you are disassociating, but it's actually the opposite.
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You are actually associating with your real nature, your what you really are.
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And this should help illuminate what I said earlier when I said that meditation is doing you.
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In other words, let's say you is Jacob, and Jacob is quote unquote thinking things.
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Well, you realize that the awareness that's watching the breath is also watching the thoughts, and you start to notice that you are actually that awareness.
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You are not the thought, I am Jacob, and I am Jacob thinking these things.
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Insert your name here.
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And this is something that you don't do, but that you realize.
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And this is why in many traditions you may have heard the term a realized person, or they have attained a high level of realization, because it's not something that you do, it's something that you come to realize, just as if you were dreaming.
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And most of the time when you dream, you don't know that you're dreaming.
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And the dream happens all of its own accord.
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You are the person in the dream, you are the other people in the dream, you are the locations in the dream, all the experiences in the dream, all of that is you, or at least in your mind.
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But you don't associate with everything else in the dream.
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And you often feel that it's just happening without your willpower or control.
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And the moment you realize it's a dream, most of the time you wake up.
00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:06.640
You might get a few moments of actual free will when you realize it's a dream, but most of the time we just wake up from it.
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:13.039
But according to Hindu thought, there are four levels of wakefulness.
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:18.480
There is deep sleep, where you are in complete blackout, nothing is happening.
00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:25.279
Then there's the next level up from that, which is the dreaming state, where you are asleep, but there's a dream happening.
00:28:25.680 --> 00:28:33.680
And then there is the wakeful state, which is where you wake up, but you're still really not aware, really not in control.
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:37.440
You're essentially in a wakeful dreaming state.
00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:46.319
And then there is the aware or awakened state, where you are present, mindful, and aware that you are aware while you're awake.
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:48.400
And that is the highest state.
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:57.279
That is why in meditation you sit with your back straight so you don't fall asleep or get into a too relaxed state of mind.
00:28:57.599 --> 00:29:01.359
You can be present and watchful and see what's happening.
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:10.559
But again, if all thoughts are doing themselves, you're not the one choosing to sit on the meditation cushion and watch, are you?
00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:27.359
That means there's some bigger force that chose to appear in the form that is you, and chose to think the thoughts that it's thinking to get it into a position where it's on a meditation cushion and chose to watch.
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:36.160
The big, the big I, the big you behind everything chose to wake up in you.
00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:44.480
And this, my friends, is where in a lot of spiritual traditions you will hear the word grace.
00:29:46.319 --> 00:29:50.240
That you are saved not by your own effort.
00:29:52.400 --> 00:30:00.960
But the grace that I'm talking about is the waking up from the dream of life.
00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:12.240
If we say life is but a dream, even though it's really a convincing one, I'm starting to realize now that what I thought was me really doesn't have control.
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:23.440
And yet I am at the mercy of something greater than me, a big mind that's watching through me and choosing to wake up in this particular form.
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:27.599
For most people, that's when a lot of suffering takes place.
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:33.599
When you lose a family member, when you lose a lot of freedom in your life.
00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:39.279
Freedom is one of the, if not the greatest thing we can have in our life is freedom.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:48.640
And when we lose that freedom, that can cause us to wake up.
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.880
Suffering tends to wake us up.
00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:58.000
In a lot of spiritual traditions, you'll you'll hear suffering as sometimes as God's grace.
00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:00.880
Because it wakes us up.
00:31:02.480 --> 00:31:05.039
The dream is not always a nightmare.
00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:09.680
I mean, the whole what's the point of anything if it's not fun, right?
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:32.720
This is where some people, especially in the West, might ask, Okay, Jake, you're telling me that I'm essentially God, or the one mind that's animating everything in my life, or in life in general, that I have as much control over beating my heart as the sun shines.
00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:35.039
So you're telling me I'm really behind all of it.
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:35.599
Okay.
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:44.720
Well, why would I choose to appear as a 43-year-old delivery driver who's really struggling financially right now?
00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:52.160
Or the vast majority of Americans in modern day who can't barely afford to pay their bills.
00:31:52.319 --> 00:32:06.559
And this is where I don't want to go too deep into off-topic categories, but I want you to hold that thread that I mentioned earlier that really there is only one will.
00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:20.319
The idea of a separate you with a separate will is really illogical and something that you can very quickly find to not be true through your own experience.
00:32:20.559 --> 00:32:23.279
In other words, don't believe what I'm saying.
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:33.440
Sit down on a cushion, follow your breath, and just observe what happens and see for yourself that thoughts come and go of their own accord.
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:47.119
And when you realize that all actions that you take in your day-to-day life stem from thoughts, then you start to realize that something is going on here that is not the you that you thought you were.
00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:51.839
But again, to quickly recap, that doesn't mean that you don't have free will.
00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:56.079
It just means that you don't quite realize, there's that word again.
00:32:56.319 --> 00:33:00.319
You don't realize who or what you really are.
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:06.880
But now you know there are steps you can take to help realize what you are, okay?
00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:12.160
Which is practicing presence, mindfulness, awareness.
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:15.359
And it's not a chore, it's not a grim duty.
00:33:15.519 --> 00:33:24.880
What you'll find is that you can actually enjoy your life and re-engage with it in a much more vivid and lively way.
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:36.240
That suddenly it's not the end of the world if you have to work 60 hours a week just to barely survive.
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:45.519
That suddenly you realize that everyone else is just like you and is in fact shares that same being that you do.
00:33:45.920 --> 00:34:01.839
And you still have the unique self that you'll call Jake or Mary Jane or whatever, but that you're also part of a bigger whole, that you're not a little separate snowflake cut off from everyone else.
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:05.359
And then more connections will start to make sense to you.
00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:15.599
That when you help others and you get that good feeling inside of you that you can't describe from altruism and helping other people, it starts to make sense why.
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:35.840
Because you realize that those other people are not separate from you or individual from you, that they are a part of you, and you've only forgotten or fooled yourself into thinking that you are other than everyone else, and that they, just like you, they just don't want to suffer.
00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:59.599
That they also have thoughts that come and go, and that you, with blessed knowledge that you have of what your true nature is, can become a space for them, that you can be there for them, that you can open yourself up to their pain, which is the very definition of compassion.
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:00.880
Quite literally.
00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:04.159
Compassion means to suffer together.
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.280
You open yourself up to someone's plight.
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:15.039
You not only hear them and listen to them, but you let action spring forth from you spontaneously.
00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:52.079
The more that you let these truths really sink into you, and the more that you actually experience them and not just cognizize about them or think about these things I'm saying conceptually, but experience them both in sitting practice on a meditation cushion and a commitment throughout your entire day to stay as mindful and present as possible, you will start to see the magic that will unfold in your life, the different decisions that you'll make because you have a spaciousness about you where you can respond instead of react.
00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:58.960
And you'll notice that the decisions are happening of their own accord, but they have a space around them now.
00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:13.760
And this is what, again, all spiritual traditions call grace, because this knowledge that I've obtained is not something I did of my own effort.
00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:23.679
I was in my car thinking thoughts of please, will someone collide with me and take me out?
00:36:24.159 --> 00:36:26.320
That's how depressed I was.
00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:48.079
And suddenly, through grace, you might call it a synchronicity or just really good luck, I came across the path of mindfulness, meditation, of all of these beautiful and rich spiritual traditions that point to this same truth.
00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:51.199
Because all have their variation of it.
00:36:51.440 --> 00:37:01.280
Christianity is more prayer-oriented, which is another way of, you know, ceasing thoughts in the mind and opening yourself up to God, quote unquote.
00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:06.239
Everyone has their word for this mysterious awareness behind everything.
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:08.800
Some people call it God or Yahweh.
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:12.800
What did Moses call it in the Old Testament in Exodus?
00:37:13.119 --> 00:37:16.400
He said, I am that I am, when he asked what your name is.
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:18.559
What should I say, your name is?
00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:19.519
I am.
00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:20.400
I exist.
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:24.239
And you can't see your true nature or what you are.
00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:26.639
You only know that you are that which sees.
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:34.880
It's like the finger that can't touch itself, you know, it only feels what's outside, what's perceived as outside of it, right?
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:39.760
Just like if I turn around, I can't see the eyes in my head.
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:43.920
I am that I am.
00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:49.840
In the Hindu tradition, they call this uh the Brahman or Parabrahman.
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:52.719
In the Taoist tradition, they call it the Tao.
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:59.599
The Great Tao flows everywhere to the left and to the right.
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:05.440
The Great Tao that can be described is not the eternal Tao, because you can't put it on pen and paper.
00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:17.760
You know, everything that I'm saying to you in this episode, it only points to something, like the Buddhists say, fingers pointing at the moon, but not the moon itself.
00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:20.079
But you know what I'm talking about.
00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:22.960
You can intuit it from what I'm saying.
00:38:23.519 --> 00:38:28.159
You know, you can sort of feel the atmosphere of what I'm talking about.
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:36.159
And like the metaphor that I've used in the past, which I can't claim credit for, it's like a lake that's being splashed constantly.
00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:40.000
You can't see the reflection of the moon until the water goes still.
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:41.760
Be still.
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:44.159
Practice being still.
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:46.400
Take a few minutes in the morning.
00:38:46.960 --> 00:38:56.400
And just watch yourself, watch your breath, watch the little sensations that appear in your body, the thoughts, the emotions, look closely at it.
00:38:56.719 --> 00:39:01.199
The act of looking itself is all that you need.
00:39:04.719 --> 00:39:10.159
Because in all the traditions they say that God is everything, you know, takes the form of everything.
00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:20.079
So, you know, just being present with your life essentially, moment to moment, you'll start to notice things will change.
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:27.920
And that relatives who've passed away are still with you, actually, and are not separate from you, and they never were.
00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:30.800
They're right inside of you all this time.
00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:40.400
Listen to the language of Jesus, even when he says, you know, that I am in the Father and the Father is in me.
00:39:40.719 --> 00:39:45.199
Or when he says, Not my will, but thy will be done.
00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:49.039
And he exemplifies this so perfectly.
00:39:49.199 --> 00:39:57.679
You know, when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before he was crucified, he cried out, please let this cup pass from me.
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:05.599
In other words, I know what I have to do, and I'm gonna do it, and I don't have a choice, but please let me not do it.
00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:08.880
And it exemplifies this being humanness.
00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:25.199
Because when you start to realize the things that I've taught I've spoken about in this episode, there's a tendency for the mind or the ego to sort of adopt this godlike persona that, well, I'm really everything, so I have nothing to worry about.
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:27.519
And yet you'll find that you're still human.
00:40:27.679 --> 00:40:38.800
You still have these thoughts, you still have these weird quirks, but that's precisely the perfectness of what you are, what you what you're supposed to be at this moment.
00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:48.880
I'm still supposed to be a 43-year-old gig worker in the heart of America in 2026, struggling to pay his bills right now.
00:40:48.960 --> 00:40:56.800
And I've been meditating pretty arduously, pretty committed, and practicing mindfulness now uh for almost five years.
00:40:58.079 --> 00:41:00.079
And I'm still struggling.
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:27.519
But although my outer world is a tornado of um, you know, financial difficulty as it is for most of us, there is a piece within me that is so strong that I've never experienced ever in my life before, that I've had hints and glimpses at, but it wasn't until I really suffered almost five years ago that I really started to pay attention to that inner light that's inside all of us.
00:41:28.559 --> 00:41:30.400
You are the light of the world.
00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:38.480
And I wouldn't trade all of the suffering I've gone through over the last few years for anything.
00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:46.880
I would rather be in this situation now, awake and alert to my life, than when I was more asleep and comfortable before.
00:41:47.199 --> 00:41:58.239
Granted, I don't want to live in perpetual stress and suffering, but I now know it's not up to me that in fact there really is no little me that is making these decisions.
00:41:59.199 --> 00:42:01.039
Not my will, but thy will.
00:42:01.199 --> 00:42:06.800
You can call it the Father, the universe, the great mystery, whatever, whatever word is comfortable for you.
00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:18.000
Some of you have a knee-jerk reaction to Christian words because of the misconstrued misconstrued concepts of it and and the modern iteration of it today.
00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:23.360
At the same time, you can realize these things and then you know, play with it.
00:42:23.440 --> 00:42:26.480
When you go like when I go back to church, I have fun with it.
00:42:26.559 --> 00:42:33.679
You know, it's like they're all worshiping the same thing that I am and praising it, which is this wonderful mystery that we call life.
00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:37.920
And if some people want to call it the father or whatever, that's fine.
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:44.960
They're just words pointing to something, fingers pointing to a moon that we all can see.
00:42:45.199 --> 00:42:47.119
The Buddhists have a different name for it.
00:42:47.199 --> 00:42:48.719
They call it, you know, emptiness.
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:50.320
They're more of an apophatic faith.
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:53.199
They like they like to say, not this, not that.
00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:55.039
Let's see for ourselves.
00:42:55.199 --> 00:43:00.480
You'll never catch a Buddhist of any sort, Mahayana, Theravada, or Vajrayana.
00:43:00.559 --> 00:43:04.559
You'll never hear a Buddhist say that you are God or that, you know, whatever.
00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:08.239
They would say, let's just be quiet and see what you find.
00:43:09.519 --> 00:43:11.280
Let's see what comes up.
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:15.599
And it's beautiful.
00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:17.280
Just sit.
00:43:19.679 --> 00:43:20.639
And trust.
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:21.840
That's another thing.
00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:25.840
Trust, that's where faith comes in, is that you can trust it.
00:43:26.079 --> 00:43:35.760
You came out of it before you were born, you were in the exact same state as someone who is dead, right?
00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:38.559
Quote unquote not existing.
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:40.400
And you came out of that state.
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:42.320
So why are you so afraid?
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:52.239
You think that there's some special configuration of molecules and atoms that makes you you, and when that ceases to function, that you won't exist forever.
00:43:52.559 --> 00:43:54.800
Let's dispel that myth right now.
00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:57.599
There's the old, I think it's called the ship of thesis.
00:43:57.920 --> 00:43:59.199
Uh many of you have heard of it.
00:43:59.280 --> 00:44:06.400
Like if you have A ship and you replace one piece of it at a time until the whole thing is replaced, is it still the same ship?
00:44:06.719 --> 00:44:08.559
Some say yes, some say no.
00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:23.119
But you yourself, many times over in your life, every single piece of you, every single molecule in your body is exchanged many times over through your life.
00:44:23.519 --> 00:44:25.440
And you don't feel like you disappear.
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:39.360
Even the nerves and the innermost nerves and the nerve endings in your brain and your nervous system, even those molecules are replaced.
00:44:41.920 --> 00:44:45.119
Because some of the actual cells will remain.
00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:55.519
Some of you might say, well, you know, there's little there's a little deep dark pocket in my brain where the nerves the nerve cells stay the same.
00:44:55.679 --> 00:44:56.559
That is true.
00:44:56.880 --> 00:45:02.880
But the molecules that comprise those, the building blocks themselves, are exchanged.
00:45:03.119 --> 00:45:04.559
Everything is in flux.
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:06.559
And yet, here you are.
00:45:07.199 --> 00:45:09.679
Did you ever lose a moment of continuity?
00:45:13.679 --> 00:45:16.239
Do you remember before you were born?
00:45:17.679 --> 00:45:20.159
Little you that is, the little you that you think you are?
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:21.199
Of course not.
00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:27.920
And yet that is the exact same state of death as after you die.
00:45:28.320 --> 00:45:29.599
And here you are.
00:45:31.199 --> 00:45:33.440
You see, it's a tremendous relief.
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:38.639
You still respect death.
00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:51.280
You still respect the form that you are in that you have taken because you understand that you are a symptom of the universe in the same way you know, an orange tree produces oranges.
00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:58.719
You are a little orange that popped out of the great orange tree of the universe.
00:45:59.119 --> 00:46:00.880
You're symptomatic of it.
00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:04.960
It's you.
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:06.639
You're not separate.
00:46:06.960 --> 00:46:08.159
You're doing you.
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:09.440
You do you.
00:46:09.679 --> 00:46:10.639
This is you.
00:46:11.199 --> 00:46:13.519
When you see the sky, that's you.
00:46:13.679 --> 00:46:15.760
When you see the moon, that's you.
00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:18.400
When you hear me, that's you.
00:46:18.800 --> 00:46:20.159
Talking to yourself.
00:46:20.719 --> 00:46:21.760
It's trippy.
00:46:23.519 --> 00:46:26.239
And it's not necessary to get too heady about it.
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:39.039
But I think it is necessary for from time to time and for some people to at least think about it once or several times to make sure that they orient themselves on a healthy line of thought.
00:46:39.360 --> 00:46:41.199
But not to stand on those thoughts.
00:46:41.360 --> 00:46:50.239
As the name of the podcast implies, everything I'm saying to you in this entire episode is simply pointing to a reality of truth that is you.
00:46:50.400 --> 00:46:52.559
And it's up to you to experience it.
00:46:52.719 --> 00:46:55.199
When this episode is over, it's up to you.
00:46:55.360 --> 00:46:59.280
Do you want to sit on a cushion and just practice watching?
00:46:59.440 --> 00:47:01.679
And then do you want to practice that throughout your day?
00:47:01.840 --> 00:47:07.280
You don't even have to wait till you sit on a cushion in the morning or whatever, after this episode is done, or even right now.
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:08.320
Just make a commitment.
00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:10.800
I'm going to try to be as mindful as I can.
00:47:11.519 --> 00:47:15.840
And every time that I lose my mindfulness, I'm not going to beat myself up.
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:20.239
Instead, I'm going to rejoice and celebrate that I've came back, that I'm awake again.
00:47:20.559 --> 00:47:23.679
And just watch the differences that occur in your life.
00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:26.400
And especially the moments you fail.
00:47:26.639 --> 00:47:35.760
The last episode, I talked about uh me zipper merging and somebody and me getting into a shouting match, you know, with each other, and that's after years of meditation.
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:38.239
And I completely lost my center.
00:47:38.639 --> 00:47:42.239
But afterwards, I gained it back again, and I had a good laugh about it.
00:47:42.480 --> 00:47:44.480
And it is an opportunity for me to improve.
00:47:44.559 --> 00:47:46.960
It's not good to treat other people like that.
00:47:47.199 --> 00:47:51.039
Because that's a mind state of me and them as other.
00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:55.760
And, you know, I didn't cut them off and they're flashing their brights at me and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:47:56.800 --> 00:48:02.159
And think of all this otherness and the and the downsides that it's caused in the world.
00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:09.599
Even the word selfish, we don't like that word because we intuitively know that there is no separateness in the world.
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:12.960
And the more separate you make yourself, the more we dislike you.
00:48:13.199 --> 00:48:16.159
You know, when I drop off food to people, they don't even come to their door.
00:48:16.239 --> 00:48:21.280
They're just watching me through a little ring cam, like in some dystopian nightmare, you know?
00:48:21.519 --> 00:48:29.760
Everyone is just kind of in their own little box, watching these glowing rectangles that simulate uh, you know, what life is really like.
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:32.000
And this is all part of the great drama.
00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:36.559
You know, one question that kept popping in my head that some people might be asking is well, why?
00:48:36.800 --> 00:48:37.679
Why all this?
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:38.320
Why?
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:41.360
Why would, you know, let's say I am the universe, right?
00:48:41.440 --> 00:48:42.719
And we're all one thing.
00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:44.079
Why is this happening?
00:48:44.239 --> 00:48:44.800
Why?
00:48:45.039 --> 00:48:48.960
And the best answer I've heard to that, you know, uh, is really twofold.
00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:53.599
One, that it's your nature because it's happening, thus it must be your nature.
00:48:53.760 --> 00:48:56.639
And two, it's a good show.
00:48:56.880 --> 00:49:00.480
And every good show needs something to happen, right?
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:03.760
A good villain, uh, you know, something to overcome.
00:49:03.840 --> 00:49:04.480
It's a drama.
00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:08.239
That this is the way the Hindus uh portray the the universe.
00:49:08.400 --> 00:49:09.119
And I love it.
00:49:09.199 --> 00:49:16.880
I I think it's again, don't stand on any one concept, but I really love the Hindu cosmology that they they look at life as a drama.
00:49:17.039 --> 00:49:21.119
I mean, if you're God, what else do you have to do with your time, really, right?
00:49:21.280 --> 00:49:23.280
If you're all part of one thing.
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:27.920
What else what else is there to do but have a good show?
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:31.840
To have fun forgetting, to play hide and seek with yourself.
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:36.000
But inevitably we wake up from it, right?
00:49:38.559 --> 00:49:42.000
I think that's one of the funnest, most beautiful explanations of it.
00:49:42.239 --> 00:49:44.159
And you just look at the nature of children.
00:49:44.239 --> 00:49:46.639
They love to play, they love to play hide and seek.
00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:47.920
They love it when you chase them.
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:54.000
My son, ever since he's been, you know, as as young as I can remember, he loves it when I chase him around the house.
00:49:54.079 --> 00:49:56.719
He'll say, Dad, chase me, chase me.
00:49:57.039 --> 00:49:59.039
And how what else can I think?
00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:01.360
But man, that's our nature, isn't it?
00:50:01.599 --> 00:50:04.320
We love a good chase, we love a good scare.
00:50:04.480 --> 00:50:06.880
We like to go to the movies to get scared.
00:50:07.119 --> 00:50:08.960
They get scared out of our mind.
00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:11.920
You know, we just saw the movie The Backrooms, you know.
00:50:12.159 --> 00:50:13.519
You think, why am I watching this?
00:50:13.599 --> 00:50:14.880
Because it's fun to be scared.
00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:16.239
It's fun to forget.
00:50:16.559 --> 00:50:18.000
It's our nature.
00:50:19.599 --> 00:50:26.320
So I encourage anyone listening, if you're ready to sit on a cushion in the morning and wake up and practice waking up.
00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:28.079
Practice being aware.
00:50:28.400 --> 00:50:29.920
Be aware that you're aware.
00:50:30.400 --> 00:50:31.519
Have fun with it.
00:50:32.159 --> 00:50:33.360
Don't take it serious.
00:50:33.519 --> 00:50:36.559
You know, be sincere about it, but don't take it seriously.
00:50:37.599 --> 00:50:39.199
It's gonna be okay.
00:50:40.320 --> 00:50:43.679
All that you've lost, everything fades away.
00:50:43.760 --> 00:50:46.400
Like the Buddhists say, nothing lasts.
00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:56.639
But, like most Westerners forget to quote with the Buddhists as well, is that there's constantly new things being created.
00:50:57.360 --> 00:51:00.000
Out with the old, in with the new, as they say, right?
00:51:00.159 --> 00:51:02.159
There's always something new coming.
00:51:02.400 --> 00:51:09.119
So we will lose people, we will lose things, we will lose status, we will lose our bodies, our health.
00:51:09.360 --> 00:51:11.920
All of that is inevitably going to break down.
00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:23.920
But when you remember that you are not limited to this finite body, that you are something well beyond that, you'll have a lot more fun in this wild ride called life.
00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:28.079
So I hope that you've enjoyed this episode today.
00:51:29.119 --> 00:51:37.360
I uh love making these episodes for you guys, and I love I love how small this podcast is right now.
00:51:37.519 --> 00:51:46.159
I know there's a few people out there who like to binge my episodes when you join the family, and uh I'm I'm enjoying this phase of the podcast.
00:51:46.239 --> 00:51:49.840
You know, it's a little over a year old now, and I've loved doing it.
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:58.159
I love recording, and I I'm actually really excited about connecting with listeners eventually in the future.
00:51:58.320 --> 00:52:02.320
Uh so far, everyone is kind of shy, just listening, but that's great.
00:52:02.559 --> 00:52:11.599
But if you happen to uh hear you know the show and it sparks something in you or brightens your day, I would really love to hear that.
00:52:11.679 --> 00:52:13.039
It would really brighten my day.
00:52:13.199 --> 00:52:22.719
And if you want to leave me a note or tell me about yourself or whatever, you know, have me give you a shout-out on the podcast, I would encourage you to do so.
00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:25.119
And uh it would be a lot of fun.
00:52:25.360 --> 00:52:29.280
You know, there's links in the description for you to connect and and whatnot.
00:52:29.440 --> 00:52:38.960
So, anyways, thank you for listening, thank you for giving me your time, and I look forward to uh seeing you guys in future episodes.
00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:40.800
We'll see you next time.
00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:12.560
Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode.
00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:13.439
I'm Jake.
00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:15.519
Pleasure to be back with you as always.
00:00:15.759 --> 00:00:23.359
Today I wanted to talk specifically about mindfulness, meditation, awareness, prayer.
00:00:23.679 --> 00:00:31.679
I'm going to say some things that you may not agree with at first, particularly when it comes to free will.
00:00:31.839 --> 00:00:39.119
But by the end of the episode, I'm hoping you'll agree, or at least see the logic and reasoning in what I'm saying.
00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:53.200
In order to understand meditation, it's helpful to understand more about the self, more about what you are, who you are, what you are.
00:00:54.240 --> 00:00:58.079
This flow of processes that we call life.
00:00:58.960 --> 00:01:07.599
Now, if I say I am meditating, that's really actually backwards, quite backwards.
00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:12.319
More accurate is to say meditation is doing me.
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:15.519
Meditation is what you really are.
00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:17.280
I know.
00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:20.000
That sounds pretty crazy, right?
00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:23.519
Why would I say something like that?
00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:26.079
What do I mean?
00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:29.120
Let me elaborate.
00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:46.480
In meditation, at least the practice of sitting meditation, let's take the Zen tradition, for example, because that's something that I try to practice every morning when I can, ten to thirty minutes a day, somewhere in between.
00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:59.680
Sitting on a cushion with legs crossed, left hand resting on the right, palms open with my thumbs lightly touching together, and my eyes open, but not focused on anything.
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:04.000
Back straight, focusing on my breath and my posture.
00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:15.919
Now I'm sitting on a cushion, and I'm bringing my conscious awareness to a single point, my breath.
00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:17.840
My straight back.
00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:21.759
My being, my body, basically.
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:31.120
The breath is a wonderful thing to bring your awareness to because it helps calm the mind, collect your awareness, your attention on one thing.
00:02:32.960 --> 00:02:38.080
You probably don't notice it, but your mind bounces around all day to this and that thing.
00:02:38.319 --> 00:02:40.800
The mind is a very curious sponge.
00:02:41.120 --> 00:02:46.879
It constantly wants to scan the environment, think about things.
00:02:47.520 --> 00:03:04.800
So when we bring the body to a stillness, a sitting position, a dignified one, with legs crossed, back straight, and focusing exclusively on our breath, some interesting things start to happen.
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:13.840
First of all, the breath is interesting because it is both what we would consider voluntary and involuntary.
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:25.599
As you've been listening to me thus far, for example, your breath has continued by itself, with no involvement from you, quote unquote, whatsoever.
00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:33.759
But bringing awareness to it, you can technically to what you perceive as control your breath.
00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:40.240
You can hold it, you can increase the velocity of it or the pace or slow it down.
00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:50.319
So the breath is interesting in that regard, in that it is where what we perceive as voluntary and involuntary, they sort of meet.
00:03:51.599 --> 00:03:58.560
The word breath is also the translation of spirit, the old Greek word.
00:04:02.879 --> 00:04:04.560
So why do I bring this up?
00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:12.879
Well, something interesting happens when you bring your awareness to your breath and hold it there as best you can.
00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:27.120
Now, nobody on earth is able to maintain complete attention on their breath without stumbling into a thought or a sound or their environment.
00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:38.079
You know, it's going to jump between your breath and perhaps your butt sitting on the cushion, the feeling of sitting on the cushion, or the feeling of your thumbs slightly touching if you're doing the zen posture.
00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:40.639
But mostly thoughts.
00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:49.600
But the interesting thing is that you'll notice that thoughts will sort of happen by themselves.
00:04:49.759 --> 00:05:03.519
In other words, all that you consider to be you and your willpower, your conscious choices, quote unquote, that you make, your thoughts sort of run on by themselves.
00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:11.600
And the more you sit, the more you become aware to that fact.
00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:25.600
And something happens that's quite interesting is there's a space that will develop between your thoughts and whatever the hell it is that you really are.
00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:31.759
I'm gonna phrase it that way because you really are a pretty big mystery.
00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:36.000
Now you might say to yourself, Well, Jake, I know who I am.
00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:36.879
I'm me.
00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:48.480
I'm a successful XYZ fill in the blank, I'm a dad, I'm a road worker, I'm a Ford F-150 driver, I'm this, I'm that.
00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:52.480
But all of those things are thoughts.
00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:58.959
Thoughts that you, quote unquote, don't control.
00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:03.759
They appear in awareness and then they disappear.
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:19.519
And the more we sit, the more we cultivate not only our ability to concentrate where our awareness is, but we also strengthen our awareness of being aware.
00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:27.680
Which is what many call mindfulness, is there's a lot of terms that can get confusing.
00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:35.040
We have awareness, mindfulness, meditation, prayer, concentration.
00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:39.920
Where do they all overlap, right?
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:52.879
Well, the Buddhist tradition, you might say concentration is a focusing of awareness on one thing.
00:06:54.319 --> 00:06:56.720
Like the word concentrate means.
00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:05.439
Awareness would be well, what you're aware of.
00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:12.959
And then mindfulness you might describe as an awareness of awareness or an awareness of what you are aware of.
00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:19.920
Sort of that one layer, extra layer deep that is sort of hard to really pin down.
00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:28.560
But you know that you're aware, and you know when you're aware that you're aware.
00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:34.160
For example, if you pick anyone off the street, you can say, hey, what were you just thinking of?
00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:35.199
And they'll tell you.
00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:39.040
But were they aware that they were thinking of that?
00:07:39.360 --> 00:07:40.480
Were they mindful?
00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:40.959
No.
00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:43.360
For the vast majority of people, the answer is no.
00:07:43.519 --> 00:07:45.759
Their thoughts just carry on.
00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:52.079
They are passengers on the train of thought, and who knows where it's taking them.
00:07:52.399 --> 00:08:02.319
But something interesting happens when you are aware that you're thinking, the train sort of derails and stops, and you come to a place between thoughts.
00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:12.480
See, just like musical notes, there are intervals between thoughts.
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:18.160
Those who can't hear intervals in music are what we call tone deaf.
00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:23.040
They can hear the note exactly as you hear it, but they don't hear melody.
00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:27.920
They don't hear the beauty of the music.
00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:32.720
Tone deafness is not a hearing problem, it's a perception problem.
00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:41.919
And I bring up this analogy because this is a problem that many people, especially in our modern age, face.
00:08:42.799 --> 00:08:52.799
And that is perceiving the intervals between thoughts, the spaces between activity and doing and thinking.
00:08:53.519 --> 00:09:08.399
And you might say that a sitting mindfulness practice or a meditation practice in the morning helps to strengthen your mind and your ability to dwell sort of in between these thoughts.
00:09:09.039 --> 00:09:17.600
The less intervals you have between thoughts, the more you might say someone has anxiety, which leads to other things like depression.
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:22.399
Now, earlier I mentioned free will.
00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:28.559
Are you controlling your heart right now?
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No.
00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:33.440
Before I mentioned your breathing, you weren't controlling that either.
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You don't control your circulatory system, you don't control your hair growth, your skin growth, nails.
00:09:46.799 --> 00:09:52.320
All of the regulatory processes of your body, you don't have any control over.
00:09:52.480 --> 00:10:05.519
And I say you in scare quotes because what we define as ourself is really a perception that we have some control over things that we're doing.
00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:16.879
But for example, whatever you decide to have for lunch today, you are going to take ownership of that and say, I chose to have this for lunch.
00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:24.559
I chose using my willpower to have a ham sandwich for lunch.
00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:28.000
But let's go back.
00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:32.000
Thoughts are outside of your control.
00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:43.679
And this is something that you don't need to necessarily experience, although that's very helpful in understanding what I'm saying and really understanding it on an experiential level.
00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:56.399
But you know as well as I do that your thoughts just appear of their own will, just like your heartbeats, just like you might get the hiccups outside of your control, or you might suddenly feel the urge to fart.
00:10:56.559 --> 00:11:03.759
All of those things you don't take ownership of as something that you did using your willpower, yet they happened anyways.
00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:06.399
And the same thing can be said about your thoughts.
00:11:06.559 --> 00:11:11.440
Now, the choice for you to have a ham sandwich for lunch was a thought.
00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:21.200
And, like all thoughts, they are completely outside of what you consider to be you in square scare quotes.
00:11:23.840 --> 00:11:34.480
Now, this might sound like I'm being sort of negative in a way, diminishing what you consider to be you, but I assure you it's quite the opposite.
00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:42.720
Nobody likes to be told that they don't have free will or that they can't make choices.
00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:50.480
What I'm saying is that choices are being made, but you're not the one that's choosing them.
00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:56.480
In other words, there's a verb happening, but there's no noun before the verb.
00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:07.519
I've heard it said somewhere that ego or the sense of self is a shadow cast by grammar.
00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:15.279
Like when we say it is raining, what is this mysterious it that is raining?
00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:16.159
There is nothing.
00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:18.080
There is no it that is raining.
00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:21.200
We say it in a sentence, it is raining.
00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:24.879
But we know there's just raining happening.
00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:33.200
Just in the same exact way that there is a choice to eat a ham sandwich for lunch happening.
00:12:34.720 --> 00:12:42.159
Where we get confused is when we say, I chose to have a ham sandwich for lunch today.
00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:44.879
Now, why do I bring this up?
00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:47.279
And how does this relate to meditation?
00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:59.600
Well, as I mentioned earlier, when you are sitting on a cushion practicing, watching, just watching your breath, that's when you start to notice that thoughts run on by themselves.
00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:26.000
And the more you practice watching your breath, the quieter thoughts get, the more energy will gather and concentrate, if you will, in your being, because it's not being dispersed with discursive, repetitive, incessant thoughts, which for most people often turn into anxiety, especially when you add uh fuel to the fire like lack of sleep or over-caffeination or the stressors of life.
00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:33.919
When you have a complete lack of awareness on top of all these stressors, your thoughts become a dumpster fire very quickly.
00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:51.519
Now, back to free will, I'm going to make a statement that you don't have free will to the extent that you don't understand who you are or what you are.
00:13:54.240 --> 00:14:04.399
If all thoughts, 100% of thoughts, run on their own accord, then you can't make any claim to any thought.
00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:09.679
Now, all of the actions that you take in your day are based on thoughts.
00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:15.840
And if you don't have any control of your thoughts, that means there's no you controlling your actions.
00:14:18.159 --> 00:14:21.759
And don't worry, you'll see where I'm going with this soon.
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:28.879
And I assure you, this will make you feel good, because thus far everything I've said probably makes you feel agitated.
00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:40.399
You do have free will, but not you, little you, in scare quotes.
00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:58.399
This is where you need to open your mind a little bit to a certain line of thinking or reasoning or logic that is not very entrenched in Western thought, in modern Western thought today.
00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:16.799
You see, in the modern West, the Western thinker looks at the universe as something other than themselves, that you are a separate individual snowflake in a huge universe that is alien or other than you.
00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:25.120
You don't see yourself as part of the whole tapestry that is the universe.
00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:31.200
And this is just a standard way of thinking in today's age.
00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:40.320
Now, when I mention logic and reason, can we use logic and reasoning to see the universe in a different way and our place in it?
00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:41.759
Is that possible?
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:52.159
And for that, I would point you to some thinkers in the East, in particular the Taoists.
00:15:54.799 --> 00:16:07.360
And the reason is because they point out a logic that is so basic and fundamental and right in front of our faces that we completely overlook it.
00:16:08.639 --> 00:16:10.799
That's part of the game, though.
00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:17.200
Because although what I'm saying to you might sound serious and heavy, it really isn't.
00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:31.039
And the universe, we can derive the meaning of life and the universe and the nature of the universe in ourselves, because we're not separate from it.
00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:53.039
Even if you're the most staunch atheist or nihilist and you believe that everything is random and you know, meaning is just something that we overlay onto reality, you know, whatever your beliefs are, I hope that you can agree that we are from the Big Bang or from the universe.
00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:53.840
We are part of it.
00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:55.120
We are not separate from it.
00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:59.360
We are part and parcel, one with it in a sense.
00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:11.039
Uh, for example, when you see newborn children or even puppies or animals of any kind in life, they love to play.
00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:21.839
So we can therefore assume that the universe has a playful nature to it, because that's simply what has arisen naturally.
00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:47.519
The fact is that when you realize that the universe is playful, it enjoys playing a hide-and-seek game with itself, which ties back into the Taoists.
00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:50.880
Like I was mentioning a little bit earlier here.
00:17:51.440 --> 00:18:06.559
They point out the most simple truth to your inherent nature that's just right in front of your face, which is that all opposites are really one thing.
00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:11.039
All perceived duality is an illusion.
00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:26.240
You you hear up and you know what up means, but you don't know what up means without its correlate down.
00:18:27.359 --> 00:18:31.839
You know what hard means, but you wouldn't know what hard is without soft.
00:18:34.720 --> 00:19:21.599
You know what big means because of its correlate or its opposite small North, South, East, West, man, woman mean nice, fun, boring, bright, dim black, white here, there me, you really need to pause whatever you're doing and really let this truth sink in because it's absolutely paramount that you understand it to see where I'm going with this.
00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:35.200
Like if you visualize an up arrow and a down arrow, and you cover the down arrow, you can still see the up arrow, right?
00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:49.279
So in your mind, you might be thinking to yourself, Well, I can understand what hard and soft are, Jake, but I can pretend to visualize one without the other.
00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:53.920
But I'm really trying to emphasize to you that you cannot do that.
00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:56.559
It's not in the realm of possibility.
00:19:56.880 --> 00:20:00.240
Where one disappears, the other disappears.
00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:08.960
And this includes life, death, or I should say birth and death, existence and non-existence.
00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:17.519
Because a great many people who live in the West are terrified, absolutely mortified of death.
00:20:18.559 --> 00:20:23.599
There's this image that comes to mind for most people that when you die, that's it.
00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:30.880
That you are sort of locked up in a dark room for eternity, never to be seen or heard from again.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:47.599
But this is the same fallacy as pretending that I can visualize the down arrow disappearing and the up arrow remains, you know, or or vice versa.
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:57.200
You can consider your mind this magical knife that slices things in half that are not really separate things.
00:20:57.519 --> 00:21:11.680
It's sort of a prism, if you will, that cuts everything into imaginary pieces, the illusion of Maya, which is what the Hindus call the illusion of measurement or the illusion of separation of all things in life.
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:20.960
It's like a magic trick, basically, where um one thing is separate from another, and they call it Maya or Maya.
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:25.759
This goes to Einstein's theory of relativity, right?
00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:40.079
Like if I'm driving in a fast car past somebody on the sidewalk who's motionless, I'm gonna look really fast to them.
00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:44.880
But from my perspective, I'm still, and everything else is moving fast towards me.
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:46.799
So who's really moving?
00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:50.319
Well, it's all relative.
00:21:53.039 --> 00:22:12.480
This is a great example of this coincidence of opposites that you can't have hard without soft, up without Down, black without white, self without other, is that you are entirely relative to other everything else in the universe.
00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:20.079
In other words, you yourself imply everything that is not you.
00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:35.200
If you've ever seen the seen the yin yang, you know, it looks like two fish sort of chasing each other's tails, one white, one black, and each one has a an opposite color eye.
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:40.960
This is what that symbol uh tries to convey, essentially.
00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:43.839
This is their entire line of thought, the Taoists.
00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:54.480
Is that although they are different on the outside, they are actually one and the same thing on the inside.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:56.880
They are part of one whole.
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:02.079
They are complete.
00:23:05.759 --> 00:23:07.119
And why do I bring this up?
00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:14.480
Why do I bring up Taoism and the apparent illusion of opposites?
00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:19.200
Because it ties into free will.
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:29.359
If you are not actually separate from the the rest of the universe, then there's no real you there.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:32.480
There's no separate you, I should say.
00:23:32.799 --> 00:23:39.200
And if there's no separate you, then there's no one making decisions.
00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:42.319
Like I said earlier, there is just decisions happening.
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:48.880
Just like it is raining, there's just rain, thoughts are just thinking themselves.
00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:53.440
There's no Jake behind Jake's thoughts.
00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:55.359
There's just thoughts.
00:23:55.839 --> 00:24:00.720
And the thought that I thought that is just another thought.
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:03.039
Just with a little I attached to it.
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:06.000
I Jake did these things.
00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:08.319
I, Jake, thought these things.
00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:23.680
Now when you understand this, you understand that there is only one will that's happening.
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:25.680
You might call it the big will.
00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:28.480
In the Zen tradition, they call it big mind.
00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:31.599
As opposed to little mind.
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:40.000
Little me, little old me that's separate from everyone else and the whole universe making decisions in this big scary universe.
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:45.839
There's just one thing happening.
00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:58.319
And when you realize that, there may be the initial disappointment of your illusion illusory separate ego that I really don't exist.
00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:06.000
Like I do exist, but I don't really exist as a separate entity, that there is just one thing happening.
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:08.160
One chain of events.
00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:23.200
Now, to tie this into meditation where I started, you can sort of deduce logically that what I'm saying is true.
00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:26.559
Just by hearing it.
00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:30.559
But when you practice meditation, you get to experience it.
00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:48.799
You get to experience the practice, the um the committed effort for a short time, be it five, ten, fifteen minutes, however much time you have in the morning, I encourage you to at least try it for five to ten minutes and simply watch your breath.
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:56.319
And notice that when thoughts arise, they are just arising of their own nature.
00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:02.400
And the more that you do this, the more that you will not identify with them.
00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:10.000
In other words, you won't identify with your thoughts, with your body, with your experiences anymore.
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:18.559
Now, again, to the Western mind, this might seem like, in a clinical sense, that you are disassociating, but it's actually the opposite.
00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:25.440
You are actually associating with your real nature, your what you really are.
00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:32.799
And this should help illuminate what I said earlier when I said that meditation is doing you.
00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:40.480
In other words, let's say you is Jacob, and Jacob is quote unquote thinking things.
00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:51.039
Well, you realize that the awareness that's watching the breath is also watching the thoughts, and you start to notice that you are actually that awareness.
00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:55.839
You are not the thought, I am Jacob, and I am Jacob thinking these things.
00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:57.759
Insert your name here.
00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:05.599
And this is something that you don't do, but that you realize.
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:22.559
And this is why in many traditions you may have heard the term a realized person, or they have attained a high level of realization, because it's not something that you do, it's something that you come to realize, just as if you were dreaming.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:27.279
And most of the time when you dream, you don't know that you're dreaming.
00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:31.279
And the dream happens all of its own accord.
00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:44.480
You are the person in the dream, you are the other people in the dream, you are the locations in the dream, all the experiences in the dream, all of that is you, or at least in your mind.
00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:48.720
But you don't associate with everything else in the dream.
00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:52.880
And you often feel that it's just happening without your willpower or control.
00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:58.880
And the moment you realize it's a dream, most of the time you wake up.
00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:06.640
You might get a few moments of actual free will when you realize it's a dream, but most of the time we just wake up from it.
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:13.039
But according to Hindu thought, there are four levels of wakefulness.
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:18.480
There is deep sleep, where you are in complete blackout, nothing is happening.
00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:25.279
Then there's the next level up from that, which is the dreaming state, where you are asleep, but there's a dream happening.
00:28:25.680 --> 00:28:33.680
And then there is the wakeful state, which is where you wake up, but you're still really not aware, really not in control.
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:37.440
You're essentially in a wakeful dreaming state.
00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:46.319
And then there is the aware or awakened state, where you are present, mindful, and aware that you are aware while you're awake.
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:48.400
And that is the highest state.
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:57.279
That is why in meditation you sit with your back straight so you don't fall asleep or get into a too relaxed state of mind.
00:28:57.599 --> 00:29:01.359
You can be present and watchful and see what's happening.
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:10.559
But again, if all thoughts are doing themselves, you're not the one choosing to sit on the meditation cushion and watch, are you?
00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:27.359
That means there's some bigger force that chose to appear in the form that is you, and chose to think the thoughts that it's thinking to get it into a position where it's on a meditation cushion and chose to watch.
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:36.160
The big, the big I, the big you behind everything chose to wake up in you.
00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:44.480
And this, my friends, is where in a lot of spiritual traditions you will hear the word grace.
00:29:46.319 --> 00:29:50.240
That you are saved not by your own effort.
00:29:52.400 --> 00:30:00.960
But the grace that I'm talking about is the waking up from the dream of life.
00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:12.240
If we say life is but a dream, even though it's really a convincing one, I'm starting to realize now that what I thought was me really doesn't have control.
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:23.440
And yet I am at the mercy of something greater than me, a big mind that's watching through me and choosing to wake up in this particular form.
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:27.599
For most people, that's when a lot of suffering takes place.
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:33.599
When you lose a family member, when you lose a lot of freedom in your life.
00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:39.279
Freedom is one of the, if not the greatest thing we can have in our life is freedom.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:48.640
And when we lose that freedom, that can cause us to wake up.
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.880
Suffering tends to wake us up.
00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:58.000
In a lot of spiritual traditions, you'll you'll hear suffering as sometimes as God's grace.
00:30:59.279 --> 00:31:00.880
Because it wakes us up.
00:31:02.480 --> 00:31:05.039
The dream is not always a nightmare.
00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:09.680
I mean, the whole what's the point of anything if it's not fun, right?
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:32.720
This is where some people, especially in the West, might ask, Okay, Jake, you're telling me that I'm essentially God, or the one mind that's animating everything in my life, or in life in general, that I have as much control over beating my heart as the sun shines.
00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:35.039
So you're telling me I'm really behind all of it.
00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:35.599
Okay.
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:44.720
Well, why would I choose to appear as a 43-year-old delivery driver who's really struggling financially right now?
00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:52.160
Or the vast majority of Americans in modern day who can't barely afford to pay their bills.
00:31:52.319 --> 00:32:06.559
And this is where I don't want to go too deep into off-topic categories, but I want you to hold that thread that I mentioned earlier that really there is only one will.
00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:20.319
The idea of a separate you with a separate will is really illogical and something that you can very quickly find to not be true through your own experience.
00:32:20.559 --> 00:32:23.279
In other words, don't believe what I'm saying.
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:33.440
Sit down on a cushion, follow your breath, and just observe what happens and see for yourself that thoughts come and go of their own accord.
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:47.119
And when you realize that all actions that you take in your day-to-day life stem from thoughts, then you start to realize that something is going on here that is not the you that you thought you were.
00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:51.839
But again, to quickly recap, that doesn't mean that you don't have free will.
00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:56.079
It just means that you don't quite realize, there's that word again.
00:32:56.319 --> 00:33:00.319
You don't realize who or what you really are.
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:06.880
But now you know there are steps you can take to help realize what you are, okay?
00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:12.160
Which is practicing presence, mindfulness, awareness.
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:15.359
And it's not a chore, it's not a grim duty.
00:33:15.519 --> 00:33:24.880
What you'll find is that you can actually enjoy your life and re-engage with it in a much more vivid and lively way.
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:36.240
That suddenly it's not the end of the world if you have to work 60 hours a week just to barely survive.
00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:45.519
That suddenly you realize that everyone else is just like you and is in fact shares that same being that you do.
00:33:45.920 --> 00:34:01.839
And you still have the unique self that you'll call Jake or Mary Jane or whatever, but that you're also part of a bigger whole, that you're not a little separate snowflake cut off from everyone else.
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:05.359
And then more connections will start to make sense to you.
00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:15.599
That when you help others and you get that good feeling inside of you that you can't describe from altruism and helping other people, it starts to make sense why.
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:35.840
Because you realize that those other people are not separate from you or individual from you, that they are a part of you, and you've only forgotten or fooled yourself into thinking that you are other than everyone else, and that they, just like you, they just don't want to suffer.
00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:59.599
That they also have thoughts that come and go, and that you, with blessed knowledge that you have of what your true nature is, can become a space for them, that you can be there for them, that you can open yourself up to their pain, which is the very definition of compassion.
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:00.880
Quite literally.
00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:04.159
Compassion means to suffer together.
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.280
You open yourself up to someone's plight.
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:15.039
You not only hear them and listen to them, but you let action spring forth from you spontaneously.
00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:52.079
The more that you let these truths really sink into you, and the more that you actually experience them and not just cognizize about them or think about these things I'm saying conceptually, but experience them both in sitting practice on a meditation cushion and a commitment throughout your entire day to stay as mindful and present as possible, you will start to see the magic that will unfold in your life, the different decisions that you'll make because you have a spaciousness about you where you can respond instead of react.
00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:58.960
And you'll notice that the decisions are happening of their own accord, but they have a space around them now.
00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:13.760
And this is what, again, all spiritual traditions call grace, because this knowledge that I've obtained is not something I did of my own effort.
00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:23.679
I was in my car thinking thoughts of please, will someone collide with me and take me out?
00:36:24.159 --> 00:36:26.320
That's how depressed I was.
00:36:27.760 --> 00:36:48.079
And suddenly, through grace, you might call it a synchronicity or just really good luck, I came across the path of mindfulness, meditation, of all of these beautiful and rich spiritual traditions that point to this same truth.
00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:51.199
Because all have their variation of it.
00:36:51.440 --> 00:37:01.280
Christianity is more prayer-oriented, which is another way of, you know, ceasing thoughts in the mind and opening yourself up to God, quote unquote.
00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:06.239
Everyone has their word for this mysterious awareness behind everything.
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:08.800
Some people call it God or Yahweh.
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:12.800
What did Moses call it in the Old Testament in Exodus?
00:37:13.119 --> 00:37:16.400
He said, I am that I am, when he asked what your name is.
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:18.559
What should I say, your name is?
00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:19.519
I am.
00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:20.400
I exist.
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:24.239
And you can't see your true nature or what you are.
00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:26.639
You only know that you are that which sees.
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:34.880
It's like the finger that can't touch itself, you know, it only feels what's outside, what's perceived as outside of it, right?
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:39.760
Just like if I turn around, I can't see the eyes in my head.
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:43.920
I am that I am.
00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:49.840
In the Hindu tradition, they call this uh the Brahman or Parabrahman.
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:52.719
In the Taoist tradition, they call it the Tao.
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:59.599
The Great Tao flows everywhere to the left and to the right.
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:05.440
The Great Tao that can be described is not the eternal Tao, because you can't put it on pen and paper.
00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:17.760
You know, everything that I'm saying to you in this episode, it only points to something, like the Buddhists say, fingers pointing at the moon, but not the moon itself.
00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:20.079
But you know what I'm talking about.
00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:22.960
You can intuit it from what I'm saying.
00:38:23.519 --> 00:38:28.159
You know, you can sort of feel the atmosphere of what I'm talking about.
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:36.159
And like the metaphor that I've used in the past, which I can't claim credit for, it's like a lake that's being splashed constantly.
00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:40.000
You can't see the reflection of the moon until the water goes still.
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:41.760
Be still.
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:44.159
Practice being still.
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:46.400
Take a few minutes in the morning.
00:38:46.960 --> 00:38:56.400
And just watch yourself, watch your breath, watch the little sensations that appear in your body, the thoughts, the emotions, look closely at it.
00:38:56.719 --> 00:39:01.199
The act of looking itself is all that you need.
00:39:04.719 --> 00:39:10.159
Because in all the traditions they say that God is everything, you know, takes the form of everything.
00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:20.079
So, you know, just being present with your life essentially, moment to moment, you'll start to notice things will change.
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:27.920
And that relatives who've passed away are still with you, actually, and are not separate from you, and they never were.
00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:30.800
They're right inside of you all this time.
00:39:34.079 --> 00:39:40.400
Listen to the language of Jesus, even when he says, you know, that I am in the Father and the Father is in me.
00:39:40.719 --> 00:39:45.199
Or when he says, Not my will, but thy will be done.
00:39:46.239 --> 00:39:49.039
And he exemplifies this so perfectly.
00:39:49.199 --> 00:39:57.679
You know, when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before he was crucified, he cried out, please let this cup pass from me.
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:05.599
In other words, I know what I have to do, and I'm gonna do it, and I don't have a choice, but please let me not do it.
00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:08.880
And it exemplifies this being humanness.
00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:25.199
Because when you start to realize the things that I've taught I've spoken about in this episode, there's a tendency for the mind or the ego to sort of adopt this godlike persona that, well, I'm really everything, so I have nothing to worry about.
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:27.519
And yet you'll find that you're still human.
00:40:27.679 --> 00:40:38.800
You still have these thoughts, you still have these weird quirks, but that's precisely the perfectness of what you are, what you what you're supposed to be at this moment.
00:40:40.159 --> 00:40:48.880
I'm still supposed to be a 43-year-old gig worker in the heart of America in 2026, struggling to pay his bills right now.
00:40:48.960 --> 00:40:56.800
And I've been meditating pretty arduously, pretty committed, and practicing mindfulness now uh for almost five years.
00:40:58.079 --> 00:41:00.079
And I'm still struggling.
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:27.519
But although my outer world is a tornado of um, you know, financial difficulty as it is for most of us, there is a piece within me that is so strong that I've never experienced ever in my life before, that I've had hints and glimpses at, but it wasn't until I really suffered almost five years ago that I really started to pay attention to that inner light that's inside all of us.
00:41:28.559 --> 00:41:30.400
You are the light of the world.
00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:38.480
And I wouldn't trade all of the suffering I've gone through over the last few years for anything.
00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:46.880
I would rather be in this situation now, awake and alert to my life, than when I was more asleep and comfortable before.
00:41:47.199 --> 00:41:58.239
Granted, I don't want to live in perpetual stress and suffering, but I now know it's not up to me that in fact there really is no little me that is making these decisions.
00:41:59.199 --> 00:42:01.039
Not my will, but thy will.
00:42:01.199 --> 00:42:06.800
You can call it the Father, the universe, the great mystery, whatever, whatever word is comfortable for you.
00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:18.000
Some of you have a knee-jerk reaction to Christian words because of the misconstrued misconstrued concepts of it and and the modern iteration of it today.
00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:23.360
At the same time, you can realize these things and then you know, play with it.
00:42:23.440 --> 00:42:26.480
When you go like when I go back to church, I have fun with it.
00:42:26.559 --> 00:42:33.679
You know, it's like they're all worshiping the same thing that I am and praising it, which is this wonderful mystery that we call life.
00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:37.920
And if some people want to call it the father or whatever, that's fine.
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:44.960
They're just words pointing to something, fingers pointing to a moon that we all can see.
00:42:45.199 --> 00:42:47.119
The Buddhists have a different name for it.
00:42:47.199 --> 00:42:48.719
They call it, you know, emptiness.
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:50.320
They're more of an apophatic faith.
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:53.199
They like they like to say, not this, not that.
00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:55.039
Let's see for ourselves.
00:42:55.199 --> 00:43:00.480
You'll never catch a Buddhist of any sort, Mahayana, Theravada, or Vajrayana.
00:43:00.559 --> 00:43:04.559
You'll never hear a Buddhist say that you are God or that, you know, whatever.
00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:08.239
They would say, let's just be quiet and see what you find.
00:43:09.519 --> 00:43:11.280
Let's see what comes up.
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:15.599
And it's beautiful.
00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:17.280
Just sit.
00:43:19.679 --> 00:43:20.639
And trust.
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:21.840
That's another thing.
00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:25.840
Trust, that's where faith comes in, is that you can trust it.
00:43:26.079 --> 00:43:35.760
You came out of it before you were born, you were in the exact same state as someone who is dead, right?
00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:38.559
Quote unquote not existing.
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:40.400
And you came out of that state.
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:42.320
So why are you so afraid?
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:52.239
You think that there's some special configuration of molecules and atoms that makes you you, and when that ceases to function, that you won't exist forever.
00:43:52.559 --> 00:43:54.800
Let's dispel that myth right now.
00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:57.599
There's the old, I think it's called the ship of thesis.
00:43:57.920 --> 00:43:59.199
Uh many of you have heard of it.
00:43:59.280 --> 00:44:06.400
Like if you have A ship and you replace one piece of it at a time until the whole thing is replaced, is it still the same ship?
00:44:06.719 --> 00:44:08.559
Some say yes, some say no.
00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:23.119
But you yourself, many times over in your life, every single piece of you, every single molecule in your body is exchanged many times over through your life.
00:44:23.519 --> 00:44:25.440
And you don't feel like you disappear.
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:39.360
Even the nerves and the innermost nerves and the nerve endings in your brain and your nervous system, even those molecules are replaced.
00:44:41.920 --> 00:44:45.119
Because some of the actual cells will remain.
00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:55.519
Some of you might say, well, you know, there's little there's a little deep dark pocket in my brain where the nerves the nerve cells stay the same.
00:44:55.679 --> 00:44:56.559
That is true.
00:44:56.880 --> 00:45:02.880
But the molecules that comprise those, the building blocks themselves, are exchanged.
00:45:03.119 --> 00:45:04.559
Everything is in flux.
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:06.559
And yet, here you are.
00:45:07.199 --> 00:45:09.679
Did you ever lose a moment of continuity?
00:45:13.679 --> 00:45:16.239
Do you remember before you were born?
00:45:17.679 --> 00:45:20.159
Little you that is, the little you that you think you are?
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:21.199
Of course not.
00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:27.920
And yet that is the exact same state of death as after you die.
00:45:28.320 --> 00:45:29.599
And here you are.
00:45:31.199 --> 00:45:33.440
You see, it's a tremendous relief.
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:38.639
You still respect death.
00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:51.280
You still respect the form that you are in that you have taken because you understand that you are a symptom of the universe in the same way you know, an orange tree produces oranges.
00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:58.719
You are a little orange that popped out of the great orange tree of the universe.
00:45:59.119 --> 00:46:00.880
You're symptomatic of it.
00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:04.960
It's you.
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:06.639
You're not separate.
00:46:06.960 --> 00:46:08.159
You're doing you.
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:09.440
You do you.
00:46:09.679 --> 00:46:10.639
This is you.
00:46:11.199 --> 00:46:13.519
When you see the sky, that's you.
00:46:13.679 --> 00:46:15.760
When you see the moon, that's you.
00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:18.400
When you hear me, that's you.
00:46:18.800 --> 00:46:20.159
Talking to yourself.
00:46:20.719 --> 00:46:21.760
It's trippy.
00:46:23.519 --> 00:46:26.239
And it's not necessary to get too heady about it.
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:39.039
But I think it is necessary for from time to time and for some people to at least think about it once or several times to make sure that they orient themselves on a healthy line of thought.
00:46:39.360 --> 00:46:41.199
But not to stand on those thoughts.
00:46:41.360 --> 00:46:50.239
As the name of the podcast implies, everything I'm saying to you in this entire episode is simply pointing to a reality of truth that is you.
00:46:50.400 --> 00:46:52.559
And it's up to you to experience it.
00:46:52.719 --> 00:46:55.199
When this episode is over, it's up to you.
00:46:55.360 --> 00:46:59.280
Do you want to sit on a cushion and just practice watching?
00:46:59.440 --> 00:47:01.679
And then do you want to practice that throughout your day?
00:47:01.840 --> 00:47:07.280
You don't even have to wait till you sit on a cushion in the morning or whatever, after this episode is done, or even right now.
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:08.320
Just make a commitment.
00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:10.800
I'm going to try to be as mindful as I can.
00:47:11.519 --> 00:47:15.840
And every time that I lose my mindfulness, I'm not going to beat myself up.
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:20.239
Instead, I'm going to rejoice and celebrate that I've came back, that I'm awake again.
00:47:20.559 --> 00:47:23.679
And just watch the differences that occur in your life.
00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:26.400
And especially the moments you fail.
00:47:26.639 --> 00:47:35.760
The last episode, I talked about uh me zipper merging and somebody and me getting into a shouting match, you know, with each other, and that's after years of meditation.
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:38.239
And I completely lost my center.
00:47:38.639 --> 00:47:42.239
But afterwards, I gained it back again, and I had a good laugh about it.
00:47:42.480 --> 00:47:44.480
And it is an opportunity for me to improve.
00:47:44.559 --> 00:47:46.960
It's not good to treat other people like that.
00:47:47.199 --> 00:47:51.039
Because that's a mind state of me and them as other.
00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:55.760
And, you know, I didn't cut them off and they're flashing their brights at me and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:47:56.800 --> 00:48:02.159
And think of all this otherness and the and the downsides that it's caused in the world.
00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:09.599
Even the word selfish, we don't like that word because we intuitively know that there is no separateness in the world.
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:12.960
And the more separate you make yourself, the more we dislike you.
00:48:13.199 --> 00:48:16.159
You know, when I drop off food to people, they don't even come to their door.
00:48:16.239 --> 00:48:21.280
They're just watching me through a little ring cam, like in some dystopian nightmare, you know?
00:48:21.519 --> 00:48:29.760
Everyone is just kind of in their own little box, watching these glowing rectangles that simulate uh, you know, what life is really like.
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:32.000
And this is all part of the great drama.
00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:36.559
You know, one question that kept popping in my head that some people might be asking is well, why?
00:48:36.800 --> 00:48:37.679
Why all this?
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:38.320
Why?
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:41.360
Why would, you know, let's say I am the universe, right?
00:48:41.440 --> 00:48:42.719
And we're all one thing.
00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:44.079
Why is this happening?
00:48:44.239 --> 00:48:44.800
Why?
00:48:45.039 --> 00:48:48.960
And the best answer I've heard to that, you know, uh, is really twofold.
00:48:49.199 --> 00:48:53.599
One, that it's your nature because it's happening, thus it must be your nature.
00:48:53.760 --> 00:48:56.639
And two, it's a good show.
00:48:56.880 --> 00:49:00.480
And every good show needs something to happen, right?
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:03.760
A good villain, uh, you know, something to overcome.
00:49:03.840 --> 00:49:04.480
It's a drama.
00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:08.239
That this is the way the Hindus uh portray the the universe.
00:49:08.400 --> 00:49:09.119
And I love it.
00:49:09.199 --> 00:49:16.880
I I think it's again, don't stand on any one concept, but I really love the Hindu cosmology that they they look at life as a drama.
00:49:17.039 --> 00:49:21.119
I mean, if you're God, what else do you have to do with your time, really, right?
00:49:21.280 --> 00:49:23.280
If you're all part of one thing.
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:27.920
What else what else is there to do but have a good show?
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:31.840
To have fun forgetting, to play hide and seek with yourself.
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:36.000
But inevitably we wake up from it, right?
00:49:38.559 --> 00:49:42.000
I think that's one of the funnest, most beautiful explanations of it.
00:49:42.239 --> 00:49:44.159
And you just look at the nature of children.
00:49:44.239 --> 00:49:46.639
They love to play, they love to play hide and seek.
00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:47.920
They love it when you chase them.
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:54.000
My son, ever since he's been, you know, as as young as I can remember, he loves it when I chase him around the house.
00:49:54.079 --> 00:49:56.719
He'll say, Dad, chase me, chase me.
00:49:57.039 --> 00:49:59.039
And how what else can I think?
00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:01.360
But man, that's our nature, isn't it?
00:50:01.599 --> 00:50:04.320
We love a good chase, we love a good scare.
00:50:04.480 --> 00:50:06.880
We like to go to the movies to get scared.
00:50:07.119 --> 00:50:08.960
They get scared out of our mind.
00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:11.920
You know, we just saw the movie The Backrooms, you know.
00:50:12.159 --> 00:50:13.519
You think, why am I watching this?
00:50:13.599 --> 00:50:14.880
Because it's fun to be scared.
00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:16.239
It's fun to forget.
00:50:16.559 --> 00:50:18.000
It's our nature.
00:50:19.599 --> 00:50:26.320
So I encourage anyone listening, if you're ready to sit on a cushion in the morning and wake up and practice waking up.
00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:28.079
Practice being aware.
00:50:28.400 --> 00:50:29.920
Be aware that you're aware.
00:50:30.400 --> 00:50:31.519
Have fun with it.
00:50:32.159 --> 00:50:33.360
Don't take it serious.
00:50:33.519 --> 00:50:36.559
You know, be sincere about it, but don't take it seriously.
00:50:37.599 --> 00:50:39.199
It's gonna be okay.
00:50:40.320 --> 00:50:43.679
All that you've lost, everything fades away.
00:50:43.760 --> 00:50:46.400
Like the Buddhists say, nothing lasts.
00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:56.639
But, like most Westerners forget to quote with the Buddhists as well, is that there's constantly new things being created.
00:50:57.360 --> 00:51:00.000
Out with the old, in with the new, as they say, right?
00:51:00.159 --> 00:51:02.159
There's always something new coming.
00:51:02.400 --> 00:51:09.119
So we will lose people, we will lose things, we will lose status, we will lose our bodies, our health.
00:51:09.360 --> 00:51:11.920
All of that is inevitably going to break down.
00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:23.920
But when you remember that you are not limited to this finite body, that you are something well beyond that, you'll have a lot more fun in this wild ride called life.
00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:28.079
So I hope that you've enjoyed this episode today.
00:51:29.119 --> 00:51:37.360
I uh love making these episodes for you guys, and I love I love how small this podcast is right now.
00:51:37.519 --> 00:51:46.159
I know there's a few people out there who like to binge my episodes when you join the family, and uh I'm I'm enjoying this phase of the podcast.
00:51:46.239 --> 00:51:49.840
You know, it's a little over a year old now, and I've loved doing it.
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:58.159
I love recording, and I I'm actually really excited about connecting with listeners eventually in the future.
00:51:58.320 --> 00:52:02.320
Uh so far, everyone is kind of shy, just listening, but that's great.
00:52:02.559 --> 00:52:11.599
But if you happen to uh hear you know the show and it sparks something in you or brightens your day, I would really love to hear that.
00:52:11.679 --> 00:52:13.039
It would really brighten my day.
00:52:13.199 --> 00:52:22.719
And if you want to leave me a note or tell me about yourself or whatever, you know, have me give you a shout-out on the podcast, I would encourage you to do so.
00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:25.119
And uh it would be a lot of fun.
00:52:25.360 --> 00:52:29.280
You know, there's links in the description for you to connect and and whatnot.
00:52:29.440 --> 00:52:38.960
So, anyways, thank you for listening, thank you for giving me your time, and I look forward to uh seeing you guys in future episodes.
00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:40.800
We'll see you next time.
