Understanding Parenting as Leadership and a God-Given Ministry

Hey mama, I know exactly what it feels like when you’re barely keeping your head above water. I’ve been where you are. There were days when raising my two youngest sons who were just two and four years old when their father walked out felt like an impossible weight. In those moments, "thriving" isn't even on the radar; you’re just trying to survive the next hour. But I want to share a truth that changed everything for me: to see our families truly flourish, we have to move from "getting by" to a mindset of parenting as leadership.

In my own journey, this shift happened when I stopped trying to carry the burden of being a solo mom on my own shoulders. I realized that I didn't have to parent from a place of depletion, but could begin parenting from a position of power. This isn't a power we muster up ourselves; it’s a power that comes from a radical realization I had while my boys were small: I wasn't actually alone. I was co-parenting with God. When we move from the struggle of isolation into a divine partnership, our entire parenting landscape changes.

Viewing God as your co-parent is the foundational step for any mother seeking to lead her household with confidence. When my husband left, I hit rock bottom. I felt like I couldn't even parent myself, let alone two babies, and there were moments I wanted to end it all. But then my mind shifted. I realized that if God cared for me, He cared for the children He gifted me.

By making God your primary confidant, you protect yourself from the judgment of others. I learned early on that some people are only waiting for you to tell them your problems so they can use them against you. Confiding in God instead reduces that crushing burden of decision-making and keeps your heart safe.

My journey from Atlanta to New York is a perfect example of this partnership. I had my mind set on going to Florida. But I had asked for God's help, and He led me to New York. Even when it felt like the craziest idea ever, I followed His lead because I knew He had the answers I didn't. This partnership allows you to:

• Navigate Financial Uncertainty: Turning to Him when the numbers don't add up.
• Receive Decisive Guidance: Seeking wisdom for your children's future.
• Find Emotional Safety: Knowing you have a partner who never leaves.

Before we can effectively lead our children, we must first allow ourselves to be led.

You know the airplane instruction: put on your own oxygen mask first. In parenting, this is a strategic necessity. If we don’t address our own internal wounds, anger at the ex, impatience, or the deep insecurity that abandonment leaves us with, we can’t lead our children well.

I had to learn to let God parent me. I didn't know my earthly father, but I discovered through the Word that God is an all-powerful, loving Father. Adopting Him as your own Father provides the emotional security you need to handle conflict and life’s challenges. As Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, when we trust Him with all our heart and stop depending on our own limited understanding, He shows us exactly which path to take. When we ask Him to help us with our fear or frustration, that internal healing becomes visible to our children. They see us being led, and it teaches them how to follow.

True leadership in the home is demonstrative. Our children internalize our reactions more than our instructions. We have to move away from that old "boss" mentality where the parent is always right just because they’re in charge. Instead, we lead by example.

One of the most powerful tools you have is a sincere apology. I grew up in a culture where parents never apologized, but I’m telling you, it builds respect. If you lose your temper and start cussing or carrying on because someone made you mad, apologize to your child. Say, "I'm sorry I acted that way; I let my emotions control me." That’s a seed of accountability. You’re teaching them how to handle their own future mistakes.

Leadership in Action:

• Money Management: I have to be honest, I’ve struggled with a "scarcity mindset" myself, where you get money and feel you need to spend it immediately. My guest, Al Jones, saw this in his own mother. Leading means breaking those cycles of poor credit and impulsive spending.
• Health Habits: Modeling how we value our bodies through exercise and nutrition.
• Respect for Others: Refusing to gossip or speak ill of the children’s father in their presence.
• Emotional Regulation: Showing them how to respond to hardship without losing control.

As the leader of your home, you have the power to recalibrate your family legacy. It’s about rejecting the idea that "this is just in my DNA." My family had a legacy of high blood pressure and young people dying of aneurysms. But 40 years ago, my mother who is now 91, decided to focus on her health. She changed the trajectory. I think about Patti LaBelle, who saw the women in her family dying of cancer and decided she wasn't going to "buy into" that legacy.

You can alter your bloodline. I see it in my sons. My oldest maintained celibacy until he was married at 38, and my younger sons have made intentional choices about their own health and lives. Legacy isn't one dramatic declaration; it’s repeated behavior.

Ask yourself these questions to see what needs to change:

• How does our family handle money?
• How do we resolve conflict? (Is it yelling, or prayer and apology?)
• How do we talk about people when they aren't around?
• Do we keep our word?
• How do we treat our bodies?

Remember: some things can stop with you, and some things can start with you.

Sustainable leadership means releasing the perfectionism trap. You aren't "screwing up your kids" because you aren't perfect. When we realize that children are a reward and a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), we can finally relax. Your home is your primary ministry.

You don't have to be perfect; you just have to be present and willing to let God work in your life right in front of them. Let them see you pray, let them see you learn, and let them see you change course. As Isaiah 41:10 promises, you don't have to fear or be dismayed, because God is with you, strengthening you and upholding you with His hand.

James 1:5 - Seeking wisdom for parenting decisions from a God who gives generously without fear of rebuke.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (NIV).

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Relying on divine guidance instead of personal understanding to find the right path for your family.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take (NLT).

Proverbs 22:6 - Investing in your child's future by training them through demonstrative leadership.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (WEB).

Psalm 127:3 - Reframing children as a gift and a reward to lower parental anxiety and perfectionism.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him (NLT).

Isaiah 41:10 - Finding the strength to lead by resting in the promise that God is upholding you.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (NIV).

In this episode, we explore how a solo mom can transition from survival mode to parenting as leadership. By embracing the radical concept of co-parenting with God, mothers can alleviate the burden of decision-making and begin rewriting their generational legacy. Learn why demonstrative leadership and the power of apology are more effective than a "boss" mentality in shaping a child's character and breaking the cycle of scarcity.

I invite you to take this journey further. If you need a daily reminder that you aren't walking this path alone, please check out my 21-day Christian devotional, Courage to Believe. It’s available on Amazon and is translated into French, Spanish, Portuguese, German, and Italian (and it's free on Kindle Unlimited!). **Amazon affiliate links when you purchase I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

I’d also love to connect with you. Follow me on Instagram @solomomstalk or subscribe to the SoloMoms Talk Podcast on YouTube. Contact: https://www.jrosemarie.com/contact

Reach out and share your story with me. I want to know: how did this mind shift feel for you? What is the one thing God is asking you to change today?

Remember, mama, some things can stop with you, and some things can start with you. Thank you for listening.

https://solomomstalk.mysites.io/podcast-2-copy/co-parent-with-god-to-be-a-better-parent-leader

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