1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,040
Welcome to The Simplify Your Life Podcast,
2
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:06,560
where we talk about how to create a life you
won’t need an escape from! I’m Coach Simona,
3
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:11,205
author of the book “111 Ways to Simplify Your
Life”, and I’m glad you decided to tune in!
4
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:21,942
In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to share with you 6 life lessons I wish I knew sooner.
5
00:00:21,942 --> 00:00:23,907
Now, let's jump straight into it.
6
00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:26,816
The first life lesson is that You’re not that important
7
00:00:26,816 --> 00:00:29,456
There’s a cognitive bias called The spotlight effect.
8
00:00:29,456 --> 00:00:32,680
The spotlight effect is a phenomenon
in which people tend to believe they
9
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,320
are being noticed more than they really are.
For example, when you take things personally,
10
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,280
you feel offended or hurt by things that
most likely have nothing to do with you.
11
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:46,080
Your ego likes to make up these stories about yourself
where you’re the center of attention and everyone
12
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,520
is out there to get you, they’re trying
to hurt you, or planning these elaborate
13
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,760
ways to cause you harm. So let’s talk about
this narrative that’s, frankly, not true.
14
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,720
Taking things personally means you’re having
a strong inner monologue and you’re believing
15
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,760
stories about yourself and other people
that have nothing to do with reality.
16
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:06,040
I wish I knew the idea of being not that
important, especially in my teenage years and
17
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:11,880
early 20s, when I felt very insecure. I spent a
ridiculous amount of time worrying and focusing on
18
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:17,360
my internal struggles, instead of realizing that
there was no point in taking things personally
19
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,520
because I wasn't that important.
20
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,160
The second life lesson I wish
I knew sooner is that Even the
21
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,160
most talented person can’t beat the hard worker
22
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:29,040
Growing up, I used to rely on my talent
and charm, and had to work on improving
23
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:34,480
my productivity and work ethic. It took me a
while to realize that hard work, efficiency,
24
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:38,600
and showing up for myself were actually values
that were way more aligned with me.
25
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,920
There are numerous examples of people who
made it because they put themselves out there,
26
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,760
not because they were good at it in the
beginning. And there are numerous examples
27
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:50,760
of truly talented people who gave up quickly
and didn’t achieve what they truly wanted.
28
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,320
Achieving success is not about having talent. It's
29
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,760
about constantly putting in the work
and not giving up when it gets hard.
30
00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,760
Not working hard on the things that are
important to you often has something to do
31
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,160
not showing up for yourself. If that’s
something that you’d like to work on,
32
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,320
I recommend watching my video on
this topic on my YouTube channel at:
33
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,800
youtube.com/coachsimona
34
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:14,960
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner
is that Self-confidence is a state of mind
35
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,560
I used to think that by doing external
things I could enhance my self-confidence and
36
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,600
I also relied on external validation to feel
good about myself. But the truth is that
37
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:28,040
self-confidence can’t be achieved from the
outside, it has to come from the inside.
38
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,720
So what do I mean by saying that self-confidence
is a state of mind? The way you perceive yourself
39
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:37,320
has a direct link to the way you talk, the
way you walk, and act in social situations.
40
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:41,560
Let me give you an example. Ley's say you’re on
a date with this cute guy. If you think you’re ugly,
41
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:45,320
stupid, or don’t deserve to be with them,
you’re going to act in a self-sabotaging
42
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:49,960
way by saying awkward things or looking down
instead of looking them straight in the eye.
43
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,400
And if you perceive yourself
as a confident person, you’re
44
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,280
going to act accordingly. You’ll
smile, show up unapologetically,
45
00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,160
and enjoy the conversation instead of
getting fixated on your inner monologue.
46
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:04,280
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I’ve
created a free masterclass called “3 Confidence
47
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,400
Secrets Every Woman Needs to Know”. If you want
to register now, just click the first link in the
48
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,294
description box below or head over to:
49
00:03:10,294 --> 00:03:12,920
coachsimona.com/masterclass
50
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:17,680
The next life lesson I wish I knew
sooner is to Aim to become 1% better
51
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,520
It’s great to have a clear vision of the
future and know exactly who you want to become,
52
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:26,000
but sometimes you might put too much pressure on
yourself. Over the years, I’ve realized that it’s
53
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:31,440
better to aim to become 1% better instead
of trying to ace things every single time.
54
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,760
For example, let’s say you want to become a better
YouTuber. Instead of aiming to make the best video
55
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:41,440
ever uploaded on the Internet, you can choose to
iterate one thing and make it 1% better. One time,
56
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,760
you could work on a better thumbnail, then
a better hook, better editing, etc.
57
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,280
Or let’s say you have this big goal of
58
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,400
writing a book. If you choose to do 1 % more of what’s
59
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:54,720
bringing you closer to that goal (which
is to write at least 100 words per day),
60
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,520
these things will accumulate in time, and
if you’re consistent with your new habits,
61
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,840
you will achieve your goal.
Which brings me to the fifth
62
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:06,000
life lesson I wish I knew sooner which is to
realize that Perfectionism is a waste of your time
63
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,000
As a perfectionist in recovery, I know how
easy it could be to want to just tweak “one
64
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,080
more thing” or change “just one
more detail”. But the truth is
65
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,680
that perfectionism is holding you back
from achieving the things that you want.
66
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,040
Think about it: wouldn’t it be better to
spend your time and energy on things that
67
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,680
actually move the needle in your business than
trying to get everything perfect? Which btw,
68
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,480
is impossible and extremely subjective.
69
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,920
One more thing: perfectionism is
not only a waste of your time;
70
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,960
it’s dependent on your mood and outlook
on life that day. I’ve found that when I
71
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,200
haven’t slept enough or I’ve been having
a tough day, I’m way more prone to obsess
72
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:44,760
over minor details than if I’m in a good mood
and not fixated on things that don’t matter.
73
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,280
Sometimes perfectionism is a sign of
a repressed part of you that you don’t
74
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,640
want to really admit exists, also
known as your shadow self. I’ve created
75
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,680
a free cheat sheet on how to get to know
your shadow self. If you want to download it,
76
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,680
just click the link in the
description box below or head over to:
77
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,080
coachsimona.com/shadow
78
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,640
The next life lesson I wish
I knew sooner is that The
79
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,360
choices you make now will determine your future
80
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,089
There’s this amazing quote that says:
81
00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:12,240
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
82
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:17,000
One of the things I struggled with the most was
delayed gratification. I wanted for things to
83
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:21,840
happen as fast as possible and dreaded the idea
of having to wait for the desired outcomes.
84
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,760
What I’ve learned especially in the past few years,
85
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,760
is that if you make hard choices in the present
moment, your future self will thank you for it.
86
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,120
It might be difficult to work up the
courage to do something brave or something
87
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,240
you’ve never done before, but that’s the
only way to grow and evolve as a person.
88
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,560
For me personally, loving myself
and taking care of my needs was
89
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,160
something I had an incredibly hard
time doing. I used to dread spending
90
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,080
time with myself and preferred putting
everybody else’s needs before my own.
91
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,440
It took a lot of time to realize that
if I wanted to truly show up for others,
92
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,120
I had to learn how to love
and accept myself first.
93
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,440
That’s why I created The Self-Love
Toolkit. It’s my proven step-by-step
94
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,320
framework that will help you learn how to
love yourself unconditionally. If you want
95
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,600
learn more, click the link in
the description box below or head over to:
96
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:08,040
www.theselflovetoolkit.com
97
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,200
Thanks so much for tuning in! If
you enjoyed this podcast episode,
98
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,480
please like it, subscribe, and
I’ll see you in the next one!
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,040
Welcome to The Simplify Your Life Podcast,
2
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:06,560
where we talk about how to create a life you
won’t need an escape from! I’m Coach Simona,
3
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:11,205
author of the book “111 Ways to Simplify Your
Life”, and I’m glad you decided to tune in!
4
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:21,942
In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to share with you 6 life lessons I wish I knew sooner.
5
00:00:21,942 --> 00:00:23,907
Now, let's jump straight into it.
6
00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:26,816
The first life lesson is that You’re not that important
7
00:00:26,816 --> 00:00:29,456
There’s a cognitive bias called The spotlight effect.
8
00:00:29,456 --> 00:00:32,680
The spotlight effect is a phenomenon
in which people tend to believe they
9
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,320
are being noticed more than they really are.
For example, when you take things personally,
10
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,280
you feel offended or hurt by things that
most likely have nothing to do with you.
11
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:46,080
Your ego likes to make up these stories about yourself
where you’re the center of attention and everyone
12
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,520
is out there to get you, they’re trying
to hurt you, or planning these elaborate
13
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,760
ways to cause you harm. So let’s talk about
this narrative that’s, frankly, not true.
14
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,720
Taking things personally means you’re having
a strong inner monologue and you’re believing
15
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,760
stories about yourself and other people
that have nothing to do with reality.
16
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:06,040
I wish I knew the idea of being not that
important, especially in my teenage years and
17
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:11,880
early 20s, when I felt very insecure. I spent a
ridiculous amount of time worrying and focusing on
18
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:17,360
my internal struggles, instead of realizing that
there was no point in taking things personally
19
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,520
because I wasn't that important.
20
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,160
The second life lesson I wish
I knew sooner is that Even the
21
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,160
most talented person can’t beat the hard worker
22
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:29,040
Growing up, I used to rely on my talent
and charm, and had to work on improving
23
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:34,480
my productivity and work ethic. It took me a
while to realize that hard work, efficiency,
24
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:38,600
and showing up for myself were actually values
that were way more aligned with me.
25
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,920
There are numerous examples of people who
made it because they put themselves out there,
26
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,760
not because they were good at it in the
beginning. And there are numerous examples
27
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:50,760
of truly talented people who gave up quickly
and didn’t achieve what they truly wanted.
28
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,320
Achieving success is not about having talent. It's
29
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,760
about constantly putting in the work
and not giving up when it gets hard.
30
00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,760
Not working hard on the things that are
important to you often has something to do
31
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,160
not showing up for yourself. If that’s
something that you’d like to work on,
32
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,320
I recommend watching my video on
this topic on my YouTube channel at:
33
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,800
youtube.com/coachsimona
34
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:14,960
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner
is that Self-confidence is a state of mind
35
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,560
I used to think that by doing external
things I could enhance my self-confidence and
36
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,600
I also relied on external validation to feel
good about myself. But the truth is that
37
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:28,040
self-confidence can’t be achieved from the
outside, it has to come from the inside.
38
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,720
So what do I mean by saying that self-confidence
is a state of mind? The way you perceive yourself
39
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:37,320
has a direct link to the way you talk, the
way you walk, and act in social situations.
40
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:41,560
Let me give you an example. Ley's say you’re on
a date with this cute guy. If you think you’re ugly,
41
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:45,320
stupid, or don’t deserve to be with them,
you’re going to act in a self-sabotaging
42
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:49,960
way by saying awkward things or looking down
instead of looking them straight in the eye.
43
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,400
And if you perceive yourself
as a confident person, you’re
44
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,280
going to act accordingly. You’ll
smile, show up unapologetically,
45
00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,160
and enjoy the conversation instead of
getting fixated on your inner monologue.
46
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:04,280
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I’ve
created a free masterclass called “3 Confidence
47
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,400
Secrets Every Woman Needs to Know”. If you want
to register now, just click the first link in the
48
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,294
description box below or head over to:
49
00:03:10,294 --> 00:03:12,920
coachsimona.com/masterclass
50
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:17,680
The next life lesson I wish I knew
sooner is to Aim to become 1% better
51
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,520
It’s great to have a clear vision of the
future and know exactly who you want to become,
52
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:26,000
but sometimes you might put too much pressure on
yourself. Over the years, I’ve realized that it’s
53
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:31,440
better to aim to become 1% better instead
of trying to ace things every single time.
54
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,760
For example, let’s say you want to become a better
YouTuber. Instead of aiming to make the best video
55
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:41,440
ever uploaded on the Internet, you can choose to
iterate one thing and make it 1% better. One time,
56
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,760
you could work on a better thumbnail, then
a better hook, better editing, etc.
57
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,280
Or let’s say you have this big goal of
58
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,400
writing a book. If you choose to do 1 % more of what’s
59
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:54,720
bringing you closer to that goal (which
is to write at least 100 words per day),
60
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,520
these things will accumulate in time, and
if you’re consistent with your new habits,
61
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,840
you will achieve your goal.
Which brings me to the fifth
62
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:06,000
life lesson I wish I knew sooner which is to
realize that Perfectionism is a waste of your time
63
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,000
As a perfectionist in recovery, I know how
easy it could be to want to just tweak “one
64
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,080
more thing” or change “just one
more detail”. But the truth is
65
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,680
that perfectionism is holding you back
from achieving the things that you want.
66
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,040
Think about it: wouldn’t it be better to
spend your time and energy on things that
67
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,680
actually move the needle in your business than
trying to get everything perfect? Which btw,
68
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,480
is impossible and extremely subjective.
69
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,920
One more thing: perfectionism is
not only a waste of your time;
70
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,960
it’s dependent on your mood and outlook
on life that day. I’ve found that when I
71
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,200
haven’t slept enough or I’ve been having
a tough day, I’m way more prone to obsess
72
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:44,760
over minor details than if I’m in a good mood
and not fixated on things that don’t matter.
73
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,280
Sometimes perfectionism is a sign of
a repressed part of you that you don’t
74
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,640
want to really admit exists, also
known as your shadow self. I’ve created
75
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,680
a free cheat sheet on how to get to know
your shadow self. If you want to download it,
76
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,680
just click the link in the
description box below or head over to:
77
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,080
coachsimona.com/shadow
78
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,640
The next life lesson I wish
I knew sooner is that The
79
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,360
choices you make now will determine your future
80
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,089
There’s this amazing quote that says:
81
00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:12,240
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
82
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:17,000
One of the things I struggled with the most was
delayed gratification. I wanted for things to
83
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:21,840
happen as fast as possible and dreaded the idea
of having to wait for the desired outcomes.
84
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,760
What I’ve learned especially in the past few years,
85
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,760
is that if you make hard choices in the present
moment, your future self will thank you for it.
86
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,120
It might be difficult to work up the
courage to do something brave or something
87
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,240
you’ve never done before, but that’s the
only way to grow and evolve as a person.
88
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,560
For me personally, loving myself
and taking care of my needs was
89
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,160
something I had an incredibly hard
time doing. I used to dread spending
90
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,080
time with myself and preferred putting
everybody else’s needs before my own.
91
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,440
It took a lot of time to realize that
if I wanted to truly show up for others,
92
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,120
I had to learn how to love
and accept myself first.
93
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,440
That’s why I created The Self-Love
Toolkit. It’s my proven step-by-step
94
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,320
framework that will help you learn how to
love yourself unconditionally. If you want
95
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,600
learn more, click the link in
the description box below or head over to:
96
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:08,040
www.theselflovetoolkit.com
97
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,200
Thanks so much for tuning in! If
you enjoyed this podcast episode,
98
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,480
please like it, subscribe, and
I’ll see you in the next one!
