Redefining Tomorrow: Thinking Differently w/ Marianna Lead #21

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Hello, everybody.
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I'm David Goldsmith.
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And welcome to another edition of Redefining Tomorrow.
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It's here where we discuss topics that may redefine your future.
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That may redefine even how you live on this planet or any other type of redefining you might consider.
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One of the quotes I've lived by for most of my life is, you can't fix yesterday, you can only create tomorrow.
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In essence, today, we are redefining tomorrows.
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The topic we're going to explore today is reshaping tomorrow thinking differently.
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And we have on the call with us today, Marianna Leed.
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How are you, Marianna?
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I'm good, David.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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Well, I'm looking forward to it.
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So here's a quick short intro as we always do.
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Mariana is the founder and executive director of Goal Imagery Coaching Academy, twice elected president of the International Coaching Federation's New York City chapter.
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She did teach at NYU, introduced coaching to the Smithsonian Institute, which I thought was interesting, had a cable show on Manhattan Cable, and co hosted Laughter as a Life Skill at a Broadway theater with comic Yaakov Smirnoff.
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Now the little bit of background for everybody who's calling in or listening in for the first time, I have no idea where Marianna's going.
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I never have any idea where Marianna's going as or any guest has.
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What we do is we connect in one way, shape, or form, then we have a conversation about what the program will be like and or could be.
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And we focus primarily on the title.
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Now this is very different than any other podcast out there.
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Then what happens is we spend the time refining where the direction of this topic might go.
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And the initial orientation of the title often changes many, many times.
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I've had a change over 3 different calls with 1 individual, and we've created about 60 different titles.
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When we finally get there, we've never really discussed the topics.
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Then the guest, Marianne in this case, goes out, tries to put together a program that is going to teach or show or demonstrate the answer to reshaping tomorrow and thinking differently.
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And so I'm gonna be listening to you this at the same time you are.
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First time through, trying to learn, trying to grow together.
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So, Mariana, do you have a set of bullet points or an outline for us to follow?
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Absolutely.
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Okay.
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So can you give them to me?
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I'll I'll be happy to.
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You ready to write it down?
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I I I'm ready to write down.
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I'm going to add one thing as your conversation and mine was an interesting conversation to finally get here.
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So I'm interested.
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And when I say that is, you know, we we kinda struggled in the beginning to find a groove, not for the podcast, just the groove in in period.
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And so I'm really interested to hear how you've kind of formula formulated this time together.
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So, yes, what's number 1?
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Number 1 is the power of emotions and imagination to shape the future.
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Power of emotion and imagination to shape the future.
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Number 2.
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Realizing that your mind thinks in images.
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Your mind thinks in images.
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Okay.
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Number 3.
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The importance of having a clear goal.
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Of having a
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You and I agree on that.
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We we do.
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I don't tend to use that word as much, and we'll we'll go as soon as you said it, I said, okay.
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Let's let's move.
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Next one, number 4.
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Making important decisions.
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Making important decisions.
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Okay.
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Next one.
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Creating a blueprint of your future.
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A blueprint of your future.
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Next one.
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I have, 4 more, but they're kind of bonuses.
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Right?
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So
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Okay.
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So I'll I'll just I'll I'll write down bonus.
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So I'm okay with bonuses.
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Okay.
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Checking you.
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Are we gonna call it bonus number 1, or are we gonna call bonus I'm gonna bullet I'll put bullet point.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Checking your assumptions.
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Checking your assumptions.
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Listening to your own thoughts.
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Listening to your own thoughts.
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Next.
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Listening to the thoughts of others.
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To your thoughts of others.
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And the last one, whenever you're ready.
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Yeah.
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I'm ready.
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Reshaping your future includes reshaping your past.
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Ah.
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Includes reshaping your past.
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Okay.
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So we got them all down.
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So let's start with number 1, the power of emotion and imagination to shape the future.
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Where are we going?
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Well, yeah, it's an exciting topic because I spent, like, literally 30 years of my, pretty much entire professional career on this topic, you know, the power of emotions and imagination.
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Our emotions and our imagination affect our self identity.
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They create a hypnotic state of mind, quite literally.
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And as a result, it all creates self fulfilling prophecy, whether we realize it or not.
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I call those type of images emotionally charged images.
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And, I know you and I, we have a background kinda similar in terms of you also taught it and were you?
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We actually taught it at the same time whenever we met each other there.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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But I taught I taught all of the, coaching courses at both, continuing ed and master degree, but I also created my own, kind of brand, method called Gold Imagery.
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And I'm using it I've been using it to call my coaching academy.
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Gold So so the gold imagery boost because of David Goldsmith.
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Right?
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No.
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Gold is g o n.
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Goal.
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See, I hey.
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Look.
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And I think my name, I I had to do that was okay.
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Gold imagery.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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So the, interesting that you used the word hypnotic.
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Yep.
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Why do you call it hypnotic?
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Well,
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and that that's why goal imagery because it's all about focusing on the goal and using imagination.
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Right?
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So hypnotic because when we are, well, you know, hypnosis is we're not talking about official hypnosis, I'm saying hypnotic because it's something that is going to be produced and kept by your subconscious mind and it may or may not be known by you consciously.
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So a hypnotic state of mind is something that's running in the background and then makes you do either great things or silly things.
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Like like right?
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Yeah.
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Go ahead.
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No.
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I was gonna say because, the the word stuck out for me because I've I can do self hypnosis.
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I know it's a long story to it, but I've I've had surgery done on me with no medication.
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And my father long story to it.
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So I I when I hear hypnotic state, I'm trying to formulate how the power of emotion and and imagination shape that.
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So sorry to interrupt, but I I'm trying to tie that together because it would mean if it's in their background, it's always there.
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And okay.
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Go on.
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Let's let me hear more.
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You you're totally on the right track with all of that, and, it's impressive that you've been, using hypnosis for, as you were saying.
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Right?
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And so that's it's really powerful.
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Actually, I may very few people know that, and I usually don't advertise it but, I did do hypnosis before I became a coach.
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I did it for 20 years.
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Oh.
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And so yes, so maybe that's where my understanding of subconscious and these expressions, you know, hypnotic state of mind, self fulfilling prophecy, maybe that's where it's coming from, you know, my background.
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Yeah.
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But it's it's got it's got to be, because when I'm in an audience of 500 people, even if I'm not even at the conference or an event, like, I'm going to be a speaker, I'm standing in the back.
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If there are 500 people and they ask piece hypnotist looks for people in the audience, every single time, any audience I've ever been in, they always point to me.
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Every single time in the back.
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Oh, you.
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You.
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Come on up.
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And I don't know if I give off this message either I'm very gullible or very accept accepting of hypnotic, or maybe you have an aura around me.
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I don't know.
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So, yeah, that's interesting you have that background.
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So now I now I can follow this a lot better.
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Go ahead.
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Amazing.
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Well, maybe maybe you show enthusiasm.
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I don't know.
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Okay.
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Well and so and the premise was, a lot of people ask me why goal imagery?
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What does it even mean?
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Well, it means that first we have to have a goal, a clear goal, something that we really want versus something that we don't want and, and then imagine it fully and in present tense as you actually recommend as well and, and then you have something that may evolve in a positive way, for you in your real life.
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Right?
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So that's where I'm going with all of this.
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So before you get to that, because this I haven't really gotten great answers about why this works, and it tends to be very western culture.
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Well, not western culture.
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I would say you hear the stories when that visualization works when it's successful in any culture.
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Mhmm.
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But you don't hear the 1,000,000 or billions of people who did have a clear defined direction, and it didn't work.
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Mhmm.
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You know, there there are 22, 155,000 people in the DRC, depending on Republic of Congo.
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Not picking on the culture.
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It just tends to be an example I can use today.
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That are in what is defined by the world slavery, pulling cobalt or working in mining.
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And the reason is taking cobalt out of a mine is very difficult, so they like to have an individual find the nuggets that they would work work with.
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I'm I'm gonna imagine at a 255,000 people, there are at least, and I'm gonna be very, very, pragmatic or, open to say only 5%.
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Now out of those 5%, do you think if they follow this, they will get out?
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You know, I was reading your book actually.
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Right?
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And, I was looking at your podcast you know, not podcast.
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I was doing that as well, but I I, watched your TED Talks.
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And, I have to say that, you know, you talk about changing people's minds about lots of different things.
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Yeah.
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And one that, impressed me was, give up that idea that everything is about people.
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You have to put in strategies and systems in place to help people to do the best that they can do.
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And so, so why am I bringing this up right now is because there's no one thing that needs to happen.
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Emotionally charged in the images and realizing how you think is just one aspect.
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Clearly, if you're just going to be having images and not doing anything about them, nothing is going to happen.
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Clearly, if you're imagining that you're a superstar but you have 0 talent, nothing is going to happen and so on and so forth.
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So there are a lot of, other aspects that need to be addressed and included for someone to really become successful.
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But right now we're talking about how to utilize your thinking specifically to reshape your future.
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So these are, extremely powerful coaching techniques that I use with my clients and I also teach at my school that will help people to think differently.
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And then they can include all of the other aspects as well for us.
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So okay.
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I I get that.
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My mind is coming back to so creating a clear goal versus what you want.
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Imagine, it in the present tense, and it may evolve and and then it may evolve into a positive way.
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So inside of there, you're saying plus, plus, plus.
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You need the systems, the structures, the tools, the environment, the politics, the finance, the funding.
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All of those things are still part of the building process from something you've tried to acquire.
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Exactly.
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Of course.
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Right?
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You know, everything that you teach is just as important because how can you move forward without, all of that other stuff, right?
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You know, you can't.
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But it starts with you.
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It starts with who you are and how you appreciate yourself and how you really think.
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And most people don't realize that we do think in images.
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So, you know, if I if I bring an example, if I'm going to tell you, David, David, do me a favor.
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Do not think of a baby with a mustache.
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Don't do it.
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Don't think of a baby with a mustache.
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What's in front of your face?
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Well, it's not in front of my face.
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It's in my head.
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It's in your head.
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But it's Yeah.
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I I I I don't even I'm I'm an artist called Paint and Sculpts.
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So I'm asking myself, what would that baby actually look like?
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Uh-huh.
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And so I haven't really formulated one, but there's definitely a mustache and a baby.
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Exactly.
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So the words such as don't, do, think, all of the words that don't actually create an image, we totally ignore.
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Our mind completely ignores it and will literally create an image.
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So if I'm going to give you another example, more more relevant to people wanting to achieve something, let's say, financial success.
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Right, and if someone says to themselves I don't want to be poor, well what do you think that what kind of images do you think that they are seeing?
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If I'm saying to if if you're saying it I don't wanna be poor, what do you see?
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Yeah.
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You immediately go to what a poor image would like in your in your reference point.
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And that creates self identity sort of and creates a hypnotic state of mind and self fulfilling prophecy of the opposite of what you actually desire to achieve.
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So when my clients come in and they say to me, well, I know I don't want to do this or I don't want to be to be that, my first question is great, thanks for sharing, but what do you want instead actually?
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Right?
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So if someone who wants financial success says I see myself as a financially sustainable, financially safe, financially successful person, You have completely different type of images.
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So I the where is the evidence that it is only an image, though, that we store in imagery?
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Like, do we have any empirical evidence of that, or is this kind of a conjecture that we store?
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I I I'm try I'm my head is turning back and forth and
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Duh.
233
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You can't see me.
234
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I'm I'm try you know how you look you look in your brain for things?
235
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And I'm asking myself, like, do I only think in images?
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I don't even know how to I don't know how to confirm that
237
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Yes.
238
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Or deny it.
239
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Right.
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Well, I have to say, this is my favorite look on my students when I see them thinking and trying to connect the dots.
241
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That is my favorite time of the day.
242
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It's too bad I can't see right now.
243
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So Well, no.
244
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But that's that's okay.
245
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That's why, that's why I shared with you that the reason we turned off the camera is so list anybody who hears this later.
246
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But you and I, you have to deal with my words.
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So if we turn everything, I really have to play with that because I don't my wife is a words person.
248
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Mhmm.
249
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She she sees words, but she sees them if she's gonna be talk she she needs to read it.
250
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That's the way she will go.
251
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I'm kind of a mix.
252
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I like to hear something first from somebody and then read it.
253
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I don't like to read it first, then hear it.
254
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But I do a lot of I draw paint and I sculpt.
255
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So in front of me, I drew I draw diagrams.
256
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I create maps and pieces.
257
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But I don't know how I how the world I'm asking myself how do I store things.
258
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Like, is there a is there a an art library of all the imagery of my life, or is there a story library of all the stories of my life?
259
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Yeah.
260
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I I don't think it's just as, it's kinda as simple as that.
261
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Okay.
262
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Right?
263
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I think that, it actually interprets itself in behaviors and in habits and in, expectations.
264
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And that's why we're talking about self fulfilling prophecy.
265
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So not all of the images are going to stick with you, like, forever.
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Like, for instance, if I'm talking to you about these examples, baby with a master mustache.
267
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You know, this is a really kinda cute example.
268
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Right?
269
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But you have no emotional connection to it.
270
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So
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I I actually do.
272
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Well, it's just I have an emotional connection.
273
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I do.
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I have a connection with you and you having a baby with a mustache.
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So, you know, I I can easily put that together because the emotion is the picture in time.
276
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Right.
277
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Exactly.
278
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So in that case, if, in the future look.
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If if in our conversation, this is going to be the most I will send outstanding thing that, is captured by you emotionally.
280
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Right?
281
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Then maybe in the future when you think of me, you're going to think of baby with a mustache, right?
282
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So that could be an association that we've created just now for you.
283
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I don't know, right?
284
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The time will tell.
285
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But this is how it works.
286
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So what we remember, we remember things emotionally and, you know, believe it or not when I joined, coaching, I joined the coaching industry back in 2002, it was a taboo.
287
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It's it's it's wild.
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It's hard to imagine actually, no pun intended, right?
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That, that, not so long ago in 2002, we weren't allowed, well it was considered incorrect to ask a client what do you feel, or how are you feeling about this?
290
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Simply because it kind of was too close to psychology and coaching industry was very very young and they were desperately trying to distinguish themselves from psychologists, psychiatrists, and any other helping profession.
291
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And so coaches weren't allowed to ask that question.
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And I was the first one
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And this was and this one was, by the way, an organization, and I'm picking on you.
294
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Sorry.
295
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But this is the organization that is trying to separate themselves from reality because you any good adviser, coach, whatever, has to create emotional connections.
296
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Well, exactly.
297
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But, you know, everything grows.
298
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Everything evolves.
299
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There was a time when psychology was very new, and no one believed in that either.
300
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You know?
301
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And so I think that I was the first one, to actually say it.
302
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Well, it doesn't make any sense.
303
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It doesn't make any sense because when I go to my hairdresser, she asks me about feelings, and I talk about my feelings with my hairdresser.
304
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So you don't have to be a psychologist necessarily to open up the conversation about feelings because it's important for people.
305
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Right?
306
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It's just and if we're talking about helping any human being, it's important to not just talk about their strategies and goals but also to include, to invite the conversation about how they feel.
307
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And so I I was talking about that, in my lectures and, you know, kind of making a stand.
308
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And, soon enough, like, a few years later, not that quickly, but a few years later, the coaching industry completely and totally embraced emotions and feelings.
309
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Not only that, nowadays, it's part of our core competencies.
310
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And and,
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if you look at the masterful masterful, masterful, appreciation of coaching in terms of core competencies, you will actually see that the most important thing is creating awareness and that the, Masterful Coach should, feel completely okay, when the client is expressing even strong emotions.
312
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So a lot of it had evolved and changed, quite drastically, but not suddenly.
313
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You know, it was a a slow evolving process, but it did change completely.
314
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And now nowadays, we talk about emotions, we talk about feelings, we talk about how to use emotions in a decision making process, which which we're going to be addressing later on today and all of that stuff.
315
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It's funny because, not funny.
316
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I don't know if it's funny.
317
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I'm I'm sitting here.
318
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I'm going back to 2000 or 1999, and I don't have my CRM up, but I, I joined the National Speakers Association, and I then over time, I built the largest chapter in the world with over a 1000 members.
319
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We started with 5 people, and almost everything we did was counterintuitive to what they said.
320
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And one of the things I had to say to the executives, the people on the team, as I said, there's 35 100 or 4000 speakers in this room.
321
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We have a world of 7 and a half 1000000000 people at the time.
322
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There are 1,000, tens of 1,000, a 100 of 1,000 of people who are speakers worldwide.
323
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This is such a small group.
324
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So I think the International Coaching Federation, similar in that type of approach, was was trying to make a name for itself.
325
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Mhmm.
326
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But in making the name for itself, it did what the National Speakers Association did.
327
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It kept its blinders on our, blinders on saying, well, this is the way it's done.
328
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But the world wasn't following it.
329
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You coach your children, and people have been coaching their children forever.
330
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We don't call it coaching.
331
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And so I I also don't call myself a coach.
332
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So I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that they'd even start that way.
333
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So I'm glad you were the one who started to push it, but it doesn't make any sense that they would do that.
334
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So they should be paid to think.
335
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Right?
336
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Well, I mean, absolutely.
337
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Right?
338
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I mean, I get paid to think for sure.
339
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Right?
340
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Yeah.
341
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So that's, I think psychologists get paid for thinking too.
342
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Right?
343
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So when so you're I'm I'm taking the imagery, not a state.
344
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So you start off with a a picture and emotion.
345
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You're tying an emotion and image together.
346
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I think that's where you're getting at.
347
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Mhmm.
348
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And then we all create them, and therefore, we add emotion to that.
349
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So does how is there empirical evidence that doing these type of things really does make a difference?
350
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Well, you know, so I think that, if you were to just experiment with it and see how it is I mean, there there are lots of research about, the use of imagination and how imagination affects our brain and how it clearly creates a blueprint for you to follow.
351
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So, you know, but, like, I don't have any to quote right now at this moment.
352
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But, if you just make an experiment and, see, just like, I gave you an example, but you can literally read anything.
353
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Like, read anything and then ask yourself, what stays with you?
354
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Like, read a few paragraphs of something or a paragraph or and then you and then you're going to actually realize very quickly that what stays or whatever it is that you imagined.
355
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Yeah.
356
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I I'm really trying to figure this out in my head.
357
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Do I do that?
358
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And I don't I don't know.
359
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I I can watch a movie for 3 hours, and then my kids will say while I was growing up, they would say, what was the movie about?
360
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And I say, I don't know.
361
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There's this this woman.
362
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She had, like, I think she had blonde hair, and she met this guy.
363
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And, he's very famous.
364
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And and they look at me and say, you just watched it.
365
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:01,000
Right?
366
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000
Mhmm.
367
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
I wouldn't remember or see anything.
368
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000
So I I wonder why.
369
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,000
Well, because we're not talking about those type of images.
370
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:11,000
Right?
371
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:22,000
You know, like, I have to say if, we have a blue car and if we have on the street more than one blue car, I could absolutely go into the wrong one.
372
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And then my husband will be screaming, Mariana, where are you going?
373
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You're you're going to the wrong car.
374
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,000
You know?
375
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:41,000
So, I don't think that I'm talking about, those type of images, like, literally, because I think that what you are touching upon right now is the skill of visualization.
376
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:51,000
But when we're talking about images, it's not just visual, it's also, conceptual, it's also, you know, feeling of it.
377
00:27:51,000 --> 00:28:10,000
So when you see an image, you just said it you just shared with me that when you, saw the image of, baby with a mustache, interestingly enough, I was impressed that you had an emotion with it and that you associated it immediately with me and our conversation today and so on and so forth.
378
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000
So and so that's the example.
379
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,000
Right?
380
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:14,000
That's it.
381
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,000
Okay.
382
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:15,000
Because it was
383
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Yeah.
384
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,000
I I was well, I yeah.
385
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,000
Okay.
386
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,000
I guess it does.
387
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,000
Every every word has every word has an emotional connection to it.
388
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Right.
389
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:38,000
So I'm not saying that, people can't make, logical connections and think about something through, by by law with logic.
390
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:50,000
But I'm saying that when you listen to someone talk or when you're reading something, your mind consistently creates images, whether we want it or not.
391
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:56,000
If I'm going to ask you, how many windows is in are are in your house?
392
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I'd have to go through that window counting.
393
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,000
Exactly.
394
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000
You would be visualizing.
395
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,000
So now we're talking about visualizing.
396
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:17,000
You would be visualizing each window because no one no human being remembers or knows exactly how windows they have in the house unless they're living, like, in a studio apartment where there's just, like, 2
397
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windows.
398
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:18,000
2.
399
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:18,000
Yes.
400
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:19,000
None.
401
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,000
It would itself.
402
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Okay.
403
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Yeah.
404
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Right.
405
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Yeah.
406
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000
So so we do create them.
407
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:38,000
So the power of emotion and so how so tell me how do we use this in this context of the power of imagine emotion and imagination to reshape the future?
408
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Like, how are we leveraging it?
409
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Are we reshaping it?
410
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,000
Are we creating our own?
411
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Are we creating our new?
412
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,000
How how are you where are we going with this?
413
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Yes.
414
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
So a question for you.
415
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,000
Would you like me to continue with those bullet points with items?
416
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,000
Because that's where it's actually getting to the explanation.
417
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,000
Or would you like to just kinda do what we're doing?
418
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000
I'm I'm trying to I I it's up to you.
419
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000
I'm just I got at a point.
420
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,000
I'm asking a question because I'm sitting here saying you brought it up.
421
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:15,000
So you're saying that we have an, hypnotic state of mind, which I'd like to know the hypnotic side, self fulfilling prophecy.
422
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Mhmm.
423
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,000
You have coaching, consulting, mastering.
424
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000
You have goal imagery.
425
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
How do those 4 because I think there were 4.
426
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,000
How did you how do they all come together in this here?
427
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000
It's all part of the same puzzle.
428
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,000
Right?
429
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000
It's all part of the same puzzle.
430
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:44,000
So, the thinking and images, people don't realize that they do it.
431
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:55,000
It's just like we just don't most people don't realize that it's happening, and most people talk to themselves, consciously or subconsciously in a negative form.
432
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:06,000
So we usually say to ourselves what we don't want to be or what we don't want to achieve, and that impacts you subconsciously a great deal.
433
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:13,000
So the first thing to do is to change the negative statement to a positive statement.
434
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,000
So you don't want to be poor.
435
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,000
What do you want instead?
436
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,000
Do you want to be rich?
437
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Do you want to be financially secure?
438
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:28,000
What feels realistic and possible and true to you that you can affirm to and say, yeah, this is what I want to be.
439
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:33,000
This is who I see myself as being, and that's what I'm going to be saying to myself.
440
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:42,000
And that's what I'm going to be seeing, and that's how you're creating this self fulfilling prophecy because you're going to be using this image.
441
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:53,000
It's an emotionally charged image because you're motivated to actually be that, to create that future, and you're going to be saying it to yourself.
442
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,000
You're going to be seeing that image, and it's going to help you.
443
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:08,000
It's not going to be the only thing that you that's going to be it's going to help you versus harming you or creating obstacles as when as when people think of in the negative.
444
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,000
So that's what I'm getting to in this part of our conversation.
445
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:23,000
So if if I have an individual that I'm working with who doesn't realize he does these things, how do I deal with that?
446
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Yes.
447
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:31,000
Well, so I'm coming from the perspective of coaching, and, we ask our clients.
448
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,000
Right?
449
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,000
I ask first thing I'm going to ask is, what do you want?
450
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:36,000
Right?
451
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:46,000
People don't even hire a coach or I would imagine even a consultant like yourself without you knowing what it is that they want.
452
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:46,000
Right?
453
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:56,000
And so when you understand their final destination, when you understand overall what they want to achieve, you're going to hear literally how they're going to express themselves.
454
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:02,000
Because the way that whatever they're going to say is usually exactly how they talk to themselves.
455
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,000
Yeah.
456
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,000
I okay.
457
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,000
So, yeah, I don't I'm not just thinking coaching.
458
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:19,000
I'm for me, I don't tend to use the word coaching because, it puts me when I'm dealing with people into a different category.
459
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:24,000
I'm there to help, so I'm asking myself I'm looking at 2 things.
460
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,000
1, me.
461
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:25,000
Mhmm.
462
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,000
How do I change?
463
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000
What am I thinking that's negative?
464
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:32,000
I tend to avoid words that are negative, just overall.
465
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:37,000
For example, there are 3 words in the English language, problem, challenge, and opportunity.
466
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
When someone says, I've got a problem.
467
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000
The minute you hear the word problem, people back away.
468
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000
I don't wanna hear another problem.
469
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:44,000
I've got my own.
470
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:51,000
So when you use that word and it's used constantly, constantly by people, And the other then you have opportunity.
471
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Well, we get I get them on my Instagram feed all day long.
472
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,000
Everybody's got an opportunity for somebody, so people are skeptical.
473
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000
But if you see the word challenge, people lean in.
474
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Mhmm.
475
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
They lean in because, hey.
476
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
I've got a challenge.
477
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000
Well, what what's what are you dealing with?
478
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000
And they'll ask those type of questions.
479
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
Mhmm.
480
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
So I have 2 sets.
481
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:16,000
1 I'm saying is, what am I doing that is tying my emotion and my imagination in a negative way?
482
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,000
I I I don't seem to find something in that way that I can give an answer to even express.
483
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:25,000
I know I've got to be doing it, but I don't I don't even know where to find it.
484
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,000
I'm looking through my head.
485
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,000
And then I'm thinking of 2 scenarios that I just had.
486
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:35,000
One individual who's very challenged with almost everything we're dealing with and another one that I had a conversation.
487
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,000
We're working on something yesterday.
488
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:47,000
And when I went through the strategic planning of what we're talking about, if you wanna say that all the images he had were wrong actually, today, I had somebody.
489
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,000
His guys gets on.
490
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:55,000
He he's trying to tell me about what he's working on, and he's he tells me about all these things he wants to build.
491
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000
And I said, can I ask you a few questions?
492
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Said, sure.
493
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Well, why are you going after the ultra high net worth of the high net worth people?
494
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000
Well, they can afford it.
495
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Well, how much could they afford?
496
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000
It's $2,000.
497
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:09,000
He says, let's just take the United States, 350,000,000 people.
498
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:15,000
Let's figure out what percentage is ultra high net worth, high net worth, or could afford a new refrigerator or or, you know, a stove or something.
499
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:16,000
K.
500
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:22,000
Let's say it came out with a number 45% of the population could probably buy something like that at a 1000 to $2,000.
501
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
And I said, let's just use 10.
502
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:24,000
10%.
503
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,000
15,000,000 people.
504
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Or not it wasn't 10%.
505
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,000
It was 15%.
506
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
Let's do 15,000,000 people.
507
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,000
So it's 15,000,000 people for your product, which sound it's a cool product.
508
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,000
And he said, yeah.
509
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000
But I wanna make sure I can get there before I die or whatever.
510
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000
I said, how old are you?
511
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000
He's 57.
512
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,000
And none of the things made sense to me.
513
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,000
You're 57 years old.
514
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,000
He also made a statement.
515
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,000
He said, your best years of your life in your between your twenties and your thirties.
516
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,000
That's when you're building the best.
517
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,000
So I'm I'm trying to take what you're saying, and I'm saying, okay.
518
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:05,000
Emotion and imagination and the pictures they have in their mind.
519
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:06,000
Oh my god.
520
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,000
We're all screwed up.
521
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:16,000
I mean, I so I I'm I'm actually doing I when I learn, I try to do few things.
522
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:22,000
I apply it to myself, and I have to apply it to something else so that I can understand its dynamic.
523
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:27,000
Like, how would I work with somebody to help them see something, which I do all the time.
524
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:33,000
But I'm asking myself, how do I use emotion and imagery differently than I'm possibly using right now?
525
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Yeah.
526
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Well, you know, I actually did notice that, the difference between problems and challenge that you are, advising your, followers, you know, to pay attention to, and, your clients.
527
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:57,000
And I think that you're right on target with that, and, yeah, this is a really good example.
528
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:03,000
So you already kinda maybe intuitively or maybe consciously, I'm not sure, came to
529
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,000
that It's very consciously.
530
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Right.
531
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Yes.
532
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Came to that realization that how we talk about things does affect what's going to happen next internally.
533
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:20,000
And then, of course, internally first and then externally in terms of, results next.
534
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Right?
535
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000
So how are we going to see something?
536
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
How are we going to internalize it?
537
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:32,000
It's going to pretty much, dictate whether it's going to have more chance to succeed or more chance to fail.
538
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Right?
539
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:45,000
So so let me ask when I said problem, challenge, and opportunity, did you see the words or did you hear the words?
540
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,000
Yes.
541
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Good point.
542
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:54,000
So here is a very good example of, imagery versus visualization.
543
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,000
Oh, okay.
544
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Visualization is literally imagining an image, and imagery includes hearing and feeling.
545
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:27,000
So, for instance, some people say, well, you know, I hear I hear God speaking into my ear or I hear my internal voice or hear my inner wisdom, and they will actually auditorially hear, some intuitive intuitive wise things auditorially.
546
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,000
Right?
547
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:38,000
And, some people have a much more developed kinesthetic sense, but also any normal person has all of those senses.
548
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:45,000
Visual, kinesthetic, which means feeling and taste and, and then, auditory.
549
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,000
Right?
550
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:53,000
So if you're saying challenge versus problem, it's kinesthetic for me.
551
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Like, I feel differently in my gut immediately.
552
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000
Immediately, I have a different reaction.
553
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,000
So here's the okay.
554
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:11,000
So this is why I was normally, I don't interrupt right in the beginning, but I was having challenges because the definitions weren't clear for to me.
555
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:18,000
So you were talking about hypnotic state and and, emotion and imagination, but I didn't get what you mean by them.
556
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:26,000
So, when I'm thinking of imagery, because I draw paint and I sculpt, my first goes to imagery, images.
557
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000
I did not think about hearing.
558
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000
I did not think about kinesthetic.
559
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000
I did not think about taste.
560
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000
I didn't define it that way.
561
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:39,000
So I was very stuck in the very beginning because I didn't add those dimensions.
562
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,000
And I think there are 15 different sense sensors or 16.
563
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000
I looked it up one day.
564
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
There's not a smell here, taste.
565
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,000
There's there's, you know, gyro orientation.
566
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:56,000
There's many more sensory perceptions that we aren't even aware of on our everyday life.
567
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000
And then I said we're not aware of.
568
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000
We are aware that we're standing up, that we have a gyro sense, but it's built into us.
569
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,000
We don't think about it the same way as when we touch a stove.
570
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:10,000
So that's why I've been I've been pushing because I'm not understanding how it connected.
571
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:14,000
Now if I expand the definition that you're saying, yes.
572
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,000
When we get something, we interpret it.
573
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Tell me if I'm right.
574
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:23,000
We interpret it in a a variety of different buckets.
575
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,000
Some of them are imagery wise.
576
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,000
Some of these are the other senses that are around.
577
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:40,000
But in each case, we're creating a mapping in our brain that remembers it from those sensory perceptions, whether they're imagery or other.
578
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,000
And those are what we remember and build upon.
579
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000
Is that what you're saying?
580
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:44,000
Yes.
581
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:45,000
Thank you.
582
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,000
Okay.
583
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000
So but I I because I was Yes.
584
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
I I I was interrupting and I knew it.
585
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000
And I was trying to say, David, don't, but I'm lost.
586
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,000
I don't use the word s t r e s with the next letter.
587
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000
There's another letter.
588
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000
I haven't used it since I'm 12.
589
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,000
Why?
590
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Because everybody was using it.
591
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:06,000
And every time they used it or I used it, I felt bad.
592
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,000
Like, say the word.
593
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,000
The minute you say it, you feel bad.
594
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,000
Yet you can be in a in a conversation with someone at dinner.
595
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000
They can say it 25 times.
596
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Their body has to be reacting.
597
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,000
But there's a better word.
598
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,000
I'm challenged.
599
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:19,000
I'm concerned.
600
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,000
I I'm overwhelmed.
601
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
I am, you know, I'm perturbed.
602
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:25,000
I'm upset.
603
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,000
But you don't have to use that one word.
604
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:34,000
And by looking for a new word, you redefine how your body reacts to it and you address it differently.
605
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Does that make sense?
606
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Yes.
607
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,000
Absolutely.
608
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Okay.
609
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,000
So now now I know where you're going.
610
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,000
I could not follow that one piece, and I'm not picking on you.
611
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Please don't take it that way.
612
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:44,000
No.
613
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:44,000
I'm not.
614
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:51,000
I'm just trying to follow and I got a little lost with the hypnotist hypnotic state the self fulfilling, and tying it all together.
615
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Okay.
616
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,000
Now I think we'll be a little bit more on target for me.
617
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Well, I I'm so glad.
618
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,000
I'm so glad.
619
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:11,000
And and thank you, David, for interrupting and clarifying because it's all very clear to me, you know, but maybe not so much for other people, who are listening also and, not realizing what it is that I'm talking about.
620
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,000
So it's helpful.
621
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,000
I think it's very helpful.
622
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Okay.
623
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:27,000
So in that sense, yes, the power of this emotional state, the the connectivity and everything shapes our future, how we in receive it and how we give it.
624
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000
Right.
625
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Okay.
626
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Does that make sense now?
627
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,000
We Yes.
628
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Why I was a little I the definitions weren't there for me at least.
629
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Okay.
630
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Good.
631
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000
So how do we take this further then?
632
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,000
How do we amplify this?
633
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Yes.
634
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:48,000
Well, so I kinda touched upon, realizing that your mind thinks in images.
635
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:57,000
We I think we went very thoroughly through that and what images mean and that they are, like, dimensional more dimensional than just visualization.
636
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:05,000
And, you know, I was appreciating what you were saying about, that word that you don't like, stress.
637
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,000
I'm going to just say it.
638
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:16,000
And, I think that, you know, when I hear the client says, you know, I'm I'm so stressed out, I will usually ask, so what's stressing you out?
639
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:20,000
And I kinda know that I'm opening up a can of worms.
640
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:21,000
You know?
641
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:27,000
But then I'm going to hear specific things because stress in itself is meaningless.
642
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,000
It it's like when you say stress, yeah, kinda you you again, it's a feeling word.
643
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,000
That's why you don't like it because it's it's like problems.
644
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:48,000
It's like you you feel it, but it doesn't have any image attached to it exactly unless stress presents something very, very specific to you and you have a specific image attached to it, which can also happen.
645
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:58,000
But, I want the clients to tell me what's exactly stressing them out so then I can go item by item with them and say, well, what do you want to see instead?
646
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:03,000
So for instance, if the client says, and this is what we're teaching in our school too.
647
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:13,000
If the client says, you know, this relationship with my boss or with my partner, regardless whether it's a life partner or a work partner.
648
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:19,000
You know, it's really stressing me out, and, I don't know how to move through this.
649
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:27,000
One of my questions could be, you know, what, would be, an ideal relationship?
650
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:33,000
What would ideal relationship look like for you knowing who that person is and knowing who you are?
651
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Like, what would be realistically possible in your mind as you imagine the ideal an ideal future?
652
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:49,000
And I think that that type of question takes people the question about what would you like?
653
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,000
What do you want?
654
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:56,000
How would the future look for you ideally?
655
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:56,000
Right?
656
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:04,000
That type of question takes people into literally wiring their brains differently.
657
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:13,000
They're rewiring negative into positive and all of a sudden you hear something that can actually happen.
658
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:24,000
And now the next phase in my, in in this, in this exercise, in this in this type of coaching session would be how do we get there?
659
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:39,000
What needs to happen so that this vision, this imagery of an ideal, situation, ideal relationship, ideal whatever, can become a reality.
660
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,000
Right?
661
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,000
And then, it's more awareness, creating more awareness.
662
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:52,000
And then from awareness, strategic plans come up and action steps and so on and so forth.
663
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,000
It's again, I apply everything to myself first.
664
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:57,000
Mhmm.
665
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,000
I have to.
666
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,000
I do not go outside.
667
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,000
So I don't think about other people.
668
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,000
I think about myself.
669
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,000
And I say, okay.
670
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:10,000
So if I'm going to, the imagery word, I sorry.
671
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:15,000
It's a terrible word, because imagery already has definitions.
672
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,000
And here here's something just about me.
673
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:24,000
Until it was about 40 some odd years, I did one thing that I think just pissed my wife off.
674
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,000
My wife is very grammar, spelling, Newhouse School of Communications.
675
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,000
She's just all, she, a minor in English.
676
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:39,000
And she would ask me something, and I'd give her she'd ask me a question, and I'd give an answer.
677
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,000
And I thought it was very complete.
678
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,000
And one day, she sat me down.
679
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,000
She said, okay.
680
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,000
Let me explain something to you.
681
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:52,000
When 1st, you give the definition well, let me give what I what is a what is a rose?
682
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:58,000
And if you ask a lot of people, what is a rose, they will say and I can ask you, what is a rose?
683
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:58,000
Let me try this.
684
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,000
What is a rose?
685
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Maryann?
686
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000
I'm not sure.
687
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,000
Okay.
688
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,000
My many people will answer.
689
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:13,000
A large portion will say, well, well, a rose is, like, something you would give to somebody as to show appreciation and love.
690
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:17,000
And she'd say and she said to me, it's not.
691
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,000
She said, a rose is a plant.
692
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,000
So she said, you don't give you always have to give the definition first.
693
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,000
So a rose is a plant that grow might grow its thorns.
694
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000
It creates a flower.
695
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,000
The flower is a certain shape.
696
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:35,000
That shape has symbolized certain things throughout society and culture.
697
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000
Now an example of a use of a rose could be in a garden to enhance it.
698
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,000
A rose could be used as something you give to somebody to show love.
699
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,000
But first, you give the definition, then you give the use case.
700
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,000
And I never noticed this my entire life.
701
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,000
I'm not that bright.
702
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:58,000
I realized how often now since she told me that that every that it's often overlooked.
703
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,000
What is the real definition?
704
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:09,000
And so the challenge that I have with the word imagery is my mind trained from youth, my mind goes to imagery.
705
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,000
It does not go to kinesthetic.
706
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:14,000
It does not go to hearing.
707
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,000
It does not go to taste or feeling.
708
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:21,000
That is a multidimensional experience, but not imagery.
709
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:26,000
And so my mind is really warped around this, and I apologize.
710
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:32,000
It's warped because the word doesn't match the common use case worldwide.
711
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,000
We can shape it to that.
712
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:39,000
We could tell people that it's new definition, but I don't know if it would be embedded in there.
713
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:48,000
So when you say you go to your, relationship, and I'm gonna go to my boss while my wife is my boss, so can't use that one.
714
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:58,000
If I'm going to go to somebody and I want to help them, not using the word coaching, just saying if I wanna help somebody, because I prefer help.
715
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:11,000
If I'm gonna help somebody and I'll help them to see something or feel something or create a new pathway, I could say to the I could twist it, turn it, and say, what do you see?
716
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,000
And they and they give the negative, and I say, okay.
717
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000
What would the positive be?
718
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:28,000
What if the people don't have that in the way that often is realistic, that that won't will happen.
719
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:39,000
Like this guy today, he just his his mind of what was an positive outcome was so far from reality, it was kinda tough to bring him back on.
720
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:54,000
How do you how do you fix if you say to somebody, what do you see is it happening and they give it to you and you say, well, let's create a plan for that, how many times do you have to tell somebody, oh, you don't have the skill sets.
721
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,000
You don't have the money.
722
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:55,000
You don't have the time.
723
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,000
You're not you're in the wrong country.
724
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,000
You're in the wrong environment.
725
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:58,000
You're in the wrong this.
726
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000
You're in the wrong that.
727
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000
You you understand what I'm asking?
728
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:02,000
The the
729
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,000
Yes.
730
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:07,000
The confluence of all of this, if that's a deposit the right word.
731
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,000
Yes.
732
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:08,000
Yes.
733
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:09,000
Abs absolutely.
734
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:15,000
So it's not wishful thinking, because what you were describing is wishful thinking.
735
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,000
Like, for instance, I don't know.
736
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,000
I want to become a superhero.
737
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:23,000
I want to make make a $1,000,000 in one day.
738
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,000
I want to be 2 inches taller.
739
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,000
Like, whatever.
740
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,000
I'm I'm kind of Yep.
741
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Making fun of you know, exaggerating.
742
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:31,000
But
743
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,000
No.
744
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:32,000
You're good.
745
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,000
These are good.
746
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:34,000
Right?
747
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,000
So these things are not possible.
748
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,000
They're just not possible.
749
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:45,000
And most people, I think, have a sense of reality, and I think that's kind of a next question that could be asked.
750
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,000
How realistic do you feel is it?
751
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:54,000
And most people will be able to self judge and say, well, you know, David, it's actually not all that realistic.
752
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,000
I realize it now.
753
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:04,000
And most, you know, people just need to be brought some awareness around what they're saying.
754
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,000
Okay.
755
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000
It sounds like psychology.
756
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:17,000
How How is it psychology?
757
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:20,000
Oh, just asking the questions to move someone through.
758
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,000
And that's okay.
759
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000
I'm just trying to wrap my mind.
760
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:32,000
So if we're talking about the the realizing your mind, talk thoughts and images, and where motion and imagination.
761
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:38,000
How do we tie these together to get myself, because I'm using myself first
762
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:39,000
Mhmm.
763
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,000
To be better?
764
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,000
Like, what am I missing?
765
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,000
That's what I'm asking myself.
766
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,000
What am I missing?
767
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,000
What am I missing here?
768
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,000
What am I missing, Mariana?
769
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:54,000
So if you if you were if you if you and I had a coaching session, let's say
770
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
We're having one right now.
771
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Right.
772
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,000
If you would say to me, I don't know what I'm missing.
773
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,000
I'd say, what are you missing?
774
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Because I don't I don't have those answers.
775
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,000
I'm not you, David.
776
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:09,000
So if there's anything that you're missing, then I'm hoping you're going to share it with me.
777
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,000
I I'm I'm asking myself.
778
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:11,000
I don't know.
779
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,000
So we are in that.
780
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,000
You're guiding me.
781
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,000
You're helping me to see new realities.
782
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,000
That's why you're we're we're on the call today.
783
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,000
So I'm asking, I don't know what I'm missing.
784
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,000
How do you help me find what I'm missing?
785
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Like, I I don't see anything.
786
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,000
I'm a pain in the ass.
787
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,000
I'm stubborn.
788
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,000
I work hard.
789
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,000
I I I sleep hard.
790
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,000
I like to dance all night.
791
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,000
You know, I I don't carry things with me all day long.
792
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,000
I I think I treat people nicely.
793
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,000
I spend a lot of time thinking about how to make something happen.
794
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:44,000
I push limits.
795
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000
You you you you've heard about Project Moonat.
796
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:51,000
We're we're pushing boundaries, not afraid to speak up.
797
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,000
I don't know what I'm missing to be better.
798
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,000
So how do I find that?
799
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:08,000
You know, David, not everyone needs coaching, just like not everyone needs a psychologist, just like not everyone needs a consultant or any other profession.
800
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,000
You may not be missing anything.
801
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:15,000
I don't know because what right now we're talking about is having a clear goal.
802
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:16,000
Right?
803
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:23,000
So a client, who hires a coach or a consultant, they have an outcome in mind.
804
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:33,000
Something that you want to have done, something that you want to change, something that you want to get more of, something you want to get better at that is specific.
805
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:39,000
So if, someone comes to me and say, well, you know, I really don't I don't I don't know what I'm missing.
806
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:43,000
Well, you know, that's fine because I don't know either.
807
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,000
I don't have the answers like that.
808
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,000
I only have questions.
809
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000
Well okay.
810
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:49,000
Yeah.
811
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:54,000
That's part of the the coaching federation and type things is you only have the questions, not as much the answers.
812
00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:06,000
I try to I'm trying to reshape tomorrow by thinking differently.
813
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:11,000
And not talking coaching, not talking coaching business.
814
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:16,000
I'm talking overall, it should work everywhere.
815
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,000
If we take away those words, the word coaching, you don't use it.
816
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,000
We're help you're on the call helping me with your skill sets.
817
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,000
You have hypnotism as a background.
818
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,000
You have your experience at NYU.
819
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,000
You you've done laughter in plays.
820
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:30,000
How?
821
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,000
I struggle every day, every day.
822
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:38,000
How do I do a better job for the people around me?
823
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:43,000
How do I make sure that I help them meet those needs?
824
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:51,000
How do we I'm not gonna use Goldsmith Organization in that business.
825
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,000
We've got 8 businesses right now.
826
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,000
I don't know what the number is.
827
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,000
I'd have I I could actually add it.
828
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,000
I think it's 8.
829
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:05,000
How do I help the people on our teams worldwide, different cultures, different environments, different applications, different all sorts of differences.
830
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,000
How do I be a better me?
831
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:16,000
So I'm actually asking you that question with, how do I take the power of emotion and imagination to shape the future?
832
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:22,000
How do I take those and convert them into images so I can help the people around me?
833
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,000
That's what I'm I'm really that's the reason I do the program.
834
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:28,000
I'm I do all of the podcasts.
835
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,000
I think I've done about 400.
836
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,000
I do them because I'm looking for new answers.
837
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:39,000
So that thank you so much for sharing because this is very interesting as you're describing all of this.
838
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,000
And, well, my question would be, what do you see?
839
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:55,000
What do you visualize or imagine when you say that you want to take care of people around you, that you want to learn to be better?
840
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,000
What does it really mean?
841
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,000
Okay.
842
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:02,000
I'll take those 2 because I can probably give you 400 questions, and I'm not joking.
843
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,000
I have a quote in front of me.
844
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:09,000
It says, the smartest person in the room is the person who asks the best questions of themselves and of others.
845
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:12,000
I have that for me, but I made that up a long time ago.
846
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000
And I post it right in front of me.
847
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:18,000
So I'll take those 2, helping the others and helping myself.
848
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,000
So we'll start with the others.
849
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:30,000
We've got a global group of individuals working in all different types of conditions within the organization.
850
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:44,000
We have them in nonprofit and for profit, and they come with some of them unbelievable skills and other in certain areas where they need in others.
851
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:51,000
And some don't even know that they have the skills that they have, and I have to draw them out and help them out and help them move.
852
00:56:52,000 --> 00:57:04,000
And so I'm always I I have this it's in pay to think, I think, is that leader you individuals follow a leader because the leader will help them get to where they want to go.
853
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:10,000
Every person follows a leader because the leader will help them get to where they want to go.
854
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:21,000
It's an underlining premise that if you let's say we're in a military environment, there's 10 people, and the person who's leading is going to walk them into dying.
855
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:27,000
That's when people have mutiny, because they say you're not gonna take me to where I want to go.
856
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:35,000
But if you meet somebody in your and that person you feel is the person who's gonna get to where you go, you might follow them for a period of time.
857
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000
And when it diverges, it diverges.
858
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:48,000
So my challenge is how do I improve my skill sets for the different types of people, the different, we have them coming on all the time, so that I can do a better job to bring them up.
859
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
And I can give you an example of that very quickly.
860
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:56,000
We brought on 40 people into Project Moon Hut at once in Macedonia.
861
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000
It said Macadonia if you're from Macadonia.
862
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:00,000
Not Macedonia.
863
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,000
That's common news, but there they call it Macadonia.
864
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:12,000
And the president of the country, former president, Jorge Ivanov asked if I would present again at their conference.
865
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,000
And we've made a change, and we ended up bringing them all on board.
866
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,000
And some of them are unbelievably brilliant.
867
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:27,000
And I'm having challenges getting their engines going because they're smart on paper.
868
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:34,000
They've done all the careers and things, but the engine, it's I'm using all different tools that I can, and I'm struggling with that.
869
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,000
So that's one.
870
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:39,000
Then with me, we're evolving in all our organizations.
871
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000
So the people we bring on are brilliant.
872
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,000
They're just absolutely unbelievably brilliant.
873
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:57,000
The person who launched when you get a text message from Amazon, That made that whole system for all of Amazon's on our team.
874
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:03,000
1 of the top, project managers who work with Paul Allen, Bill Allen's Paul Allen is on our team.
875
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,000
1 of the top computational social scientists is on our team.
876
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:13,000
The number one mining person in the world, underwater land, high altitude, and the moon is on our team.
877
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:16,000
And in each one of them, they're just absolutely brilliant.
878
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:31,000
So I'm constantly questioning, how do I make sure I have that new skill set that they're going to need in advance of them needing it so that I can help them achieve their desired outcome or our desired outcome collectively?
879
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:36,000
So those would be two examples of where I'm struggling.
880
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,000
And I and I do this I struggle with this every day.
881
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,000
How do I make that next best step?
882
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,000
Well, thank you so much.
883
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,000
You shared a lot.
884
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:46,000
I gotcha.
885
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,000
My my head is overflowing.
886
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,000
That's nothing.
887
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:48,000
Go ahead.
888
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,000
I know that's
889
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:54,000
a lot of details and a lot of, emotions, actually.
890
00:59:55,000 --> 01:00:03,000
And I appreciate your genuine desire to help others and become the best, version of yourself.
891
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:21,000
And so, if you really do want to kinda get into it and, use this as a coaching session, I would ask you, out of all of the stuff that you mentioned, what is the most important or urgent for you to focus on right this moment
892
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:21,000
Okay.
893
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,000
In our conversation?
894
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,000
And I I'm I'm I'm still in 1 and 2.
895
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:32,000
So I'm following your in the 1, 2, kinda 3, but I am following it because I want to understand it for the purposes of use cases.
896
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:50,000
The most important is a that's a when you think of running, large scale projects, you actually have to move many things forward simultaneously so that they can intersect at the future.
897
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,000
That's a kind of predetermined point.
898
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:57,000
So when they converge, the value becomes amplified.
899
01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,000
That is a project.
900
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:03,000
If you think about it in small terms, you and I'll give you you have a home.
901
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:08,000
You're going to make sure that the foundation is put in and the electrical and the plumbing simultaneously.
902
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:22,000
They have to kind of be put together because if you don't do that in the right timing and the right sequence, the convergence of putting together the walls or the siding or the drywall or the roof don't come together.
903
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:28,000
So I I would say the most it's not an the most important thing.
904
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:47,000
It is the thing is to move 40 items simultaneously forward with the right people inside of it and the right funding or philanthrop for philanthropic work work to meet those needs.
905
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:54,000
So that's kind of pushing mountains simultaneously.
906
01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,000
Did I answer that okay or no?
907
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Well, yes.
908
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Thank you.
909
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:07,000
I mean, you're giving me 2 metaphors, the mountains and the house, and I love metaphors.
910
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000
And so very vivid images.
911
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:27,000
And so using those images and using your background, what do you need to focus on in our conversation to move it forward as you want.
912
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:35,000
I I I don't know what I'm missing, so I'm using every tool I can.
913
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:38,000
And you've read part of paid to think, and you could see it's just full of tools.
914
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:44,000
So I'm trying to use everything in my disposal, not knowing what will work and what yeah.
915
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:47,000
I have a good sense of it because we've we're doing a lot.
916
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:52,000
But at the same time, I feel inadequate constantly.
917
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,000
Like, do I am I doing enough?
918
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,000
Am I am I pushing it enough?
919
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,000
And it's not a workaholic attitude.
920
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:02,000
I I don't grind my teeth.
921
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,000
I don't my wife is amazing wife.
922
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:07,000
Lori is her name.
923
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:11,000
She really she would tell me if I am.
924
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,000
I sleep incredibly well, about 7 hours a night.
925
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,000
I don't wake up in the middle of night screaming that the world is falling apart.
926
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,000
And so I I don't know.
927
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:29,000
And that's that's kind of like that's where this this lit this hypnotic state, this self focusing, this all of these pieces.
928
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:34,000
I'm trying to integrate what you've been saying, the visualization.
929
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,000
I'm trying to put it into a framework.
930
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,000
I know what we're looking to accomplish.
931
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,000
I can actually give it to you.
932
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,000
It just take too long for us to do it now.
933
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:49,000
I know what we're building, and I know the pieces many of the pieces that have to be integrated into it.
934
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,000
But I how do I make it move faster?
935
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:55,000
I I I don't I don't even know the answer to that.
936
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:58,000
So how do you how do you answer the question that you don't know the answer to?
937
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,000
Well, I mean, no one has a crystal ball.
938
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:03,000
Okay.
939
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,000
Right?
940
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:20,000
I mean, no one no one has that magical power to to read or to really speed something up like that with a magic wand, but I think that, sometimes we may be.
941
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:30,000
Sometimes we want to see things sooner than it's possible and I don't know what's realistic or not in in what you were describing.
942
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:44,000
And I think that if you were to look at it from outside in, from the perspective of all of your managerial and leadership experience, which is like a vast experience to bring into the table.
943
01:04:44,000 --> 01:05:00,000
But if you will, like, separate a little bit emotionally speaking about emotions from your project and look at it from outside in as a consultant, as someone with all of this expertise and experience, well, what would you see?
944
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,000
So you're asking me how would I give myself my own advice?
945
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:03,000
Correct.
946
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:04,000
Okay.
947
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:19,000
So that that's an interesting dynamic because I am told constantly by people it's impossible to do what we're doing, And and the timelines won't work and on and on and on and on.
948
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,000
However, there are a lot of people who actually believe it is possible based upon this.
949
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:33,000
So if I was to give advice to myself, what would I tell myself?
950
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,000
It's in I had 2 things come to mind.
951
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:43,000
I'll give you the first one was I would say there is a lot here, holy shit, your life is going to have.
952
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:52,000
You're gonna be really pushing this hard for I'm gonna die at a my my thing is I wanna die at a 102, retire at a 100.
953
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:58,000
So you will be retiring for the you'll be working your butt off for the next 40 years.
954
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:13,000
And the second one is the you are on the right path because you are still asking tons of questions, and you haven't settled that you feel that you have them.
955
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:27,000
And probably the biggest strength, if I was to keep amplifying it, was to keep on finding people who challenge your assumptions, to keep on finding new answers.
956
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:38,000
So you're I would say, you are missing pieces, but you're still you're still you're still going in the right direction.
957
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:49,000
It's that you often there are some times you need to reprioritize those lists, and you get stuck where you are, which I know.
958
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:53,000
You get stuck, and you don't move to those spaces soon enough.
959
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:57,000
You have to do them faster in those areas.
960
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,000
And then I look at my calendar.
961
01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,000
I'm actually looking up.
962
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:03,000
I have 38 hours of meetings, 38 meetings last week.
963
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:08,000
38, which is incredible if none of them are a half hour.
964
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:11,000
They're all hour to 3 hours with our teams.
965
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:14,000
So I don't feel so I that would be kind of I don't know, Mariana.
966
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:22,000
That's kind of the advice that I would give in that in those two dimensions that first came to mind.
967
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:25,000
Well, thank you so much for that advice.
968
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:31,000
And as you as you as you heard yourself say all of that, how does it feel for you now?
969
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:37,000
Individuals believe that I love what I'm doing.
970
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,000
I actually I am not in love what I'm doing.
971
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,000
I believe it's the thing I need to be doing.
972
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,000
So I don't wake up with a a passion.
973
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,000
Oh, I gotta do this.
974
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,000
Like, people wanna I there's this one guy.
975
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,000
He's a jerk.
976
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:58,000
He wants to touch a 1,000,000,000 make a, touch a 1,000,000,000 people and make a $1,000,000,000 he's got all these 1,000,000,000 things, and he's a jerk.
977
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,000
He's an absolute jerk.
978
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:03,000
And people follow him because he's got these big lofty goals.
979
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,000
How do I feel?
980
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:11,000
I it's tiring to think in those dimensions.
981
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:13,000
It is.
982
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:19,000
I'm my body just went, like, so I just keep on doing what I'm doing.
983
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:24,000
So I don't know if I I I would say that I don't feel bad because I expect it.
984
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:35,000
I don't feel good because I don't I just, you know, I just just means that I keep on doing what I'm doing.
985
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:37,000
Yeah.
986
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,000
Well, so thank you so much.
987
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:40,000
And as
988
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,000
as I'm reflecting And I I know that's your coaching technique of thanking.
989
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:45,000
I I'm just yeah.
990
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,000
I I'm just fine with you saying, I thank I I got it.
991
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,000
So where do we go from here?
992
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,000
So I'm good.
993
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:50,000
Yeah.
994
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,000
I yeah.
995
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:51,000
No.
996
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,000
Okay.
997
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:53,000
I I got it.
998
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:54,000
And you got it.
999
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,000
We both got it.
1000
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,000
Yep.
1001
01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:05,000
And so I'm I'm I'm thinking, like, I'm hearing 2 different things almost.
1002
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:06,000
Okay.
1003
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:12,000
On one hand, I hear well, yeah.
1004
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:16,000
There are some things that are missing because that's what you were asking before of me.
1005
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,000
Like, what am I missing?
1006
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:24,000
So so there must be realization of what's missing because you're saying, yeah, there's some things that are missing.
1007
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,000
Mhmm.
1008
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:37,000
But then also you like, there's a the the thought is processing itself forward to it's not really all that important almost.
1009
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:38,000
Like, it implies itself.
1010
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:43,000
It's not really important what exactly is missing because I'm figuring it out.
1011
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:46,000
I'm figuring it out as I'm moving along through this journey.
1012
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:48,000
So I'm hearing those two thoughts.
1013
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:49,000
Yeah.
1014
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:49,000
Yeah.
1015
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:58,000
And I'm also hearing that, you know, sometimes we feel impatient when we're just not when we're just tired.
1016
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,000
You know?
1017
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:03,000
We're just, like, tired because that's another thing that you're sharing.
1018
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,000
I'm just like There
1019
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:08,000
are days that I'm very tired, and I would say 2 to 3 days a week I wanna stop.
1020
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:09,000
Right.
1021
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:12,000
I I wouldn't wear wish this on my worst enemy.
1022
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,000
So now now this is where I this is why I'm doing this.
1023
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:22,000
You have emotion, imagination, or imagery, visualization, and all these words.
1024
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:28,000
How do I use them where I'm not using them?
1025
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,000
That's what I'm trying to leverage.
1026
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:32,000
Does that make sense?
1027
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,000
No.
1028
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:35,000
No?
1029
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000
No.
1030
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:38,000
Well, I mean, it makes sense.
1031
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:45,000
It's in terms of how you're processing it right now for yourself because you're trying to understand the concepts and what we're talking about.
1032
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:45,000
Right.
1033
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,000
But it doesn't work like that.
1034
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,000
It just doesn't work like that.
1035
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Right?
1036
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:49,000
So
1037
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Okay.
1038
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000
So this is gonna be cool.
1039
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,000
Explain that to me.
1040
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,000
It just doesn't work like that.
1041
01:10:54,000 --> 01:11:02,000
So what I'm doing actually right now with you, is we are trying to answer your own questions.
1042
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:03,000
Right?
1043
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:28,000
And I am changing your perspective on how you look at it and therefore even your thinking and your awareness, your realization by looking at it from the perspective of all of your years of experience as a consultant, as an entrepreneur, as an investor, and so on and so forth, there's like a lot to bring to the table.
1044
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:42,000
And all I actually did is just said, if you separate yourself from your project and just just look look at it as a professional consultant, you know, experienced investor, all of those things, what would you see that you may not be seeing right now?
1045
01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:49,000
So basically, it's a change in the angle of how from what position you're looking at things.
1046
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:52,000
And that's also the use of imagination.
1047
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:57,000
There's a use of imagination in just looking from another perspective.
1048
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:00,000
So that's what we did now.
1049
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:02,000
And it's like a really short segment.
1050
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:14,000
And then also when I asked you how do you feel and then brought something back to you, some feelings came up that I don't know how dormant they were for to what extent
1051
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:14,000
No.
1052
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,000
I talk about them all the time with my wife.
1053
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:21,000
The what these what I'd shared with you is I'm I'm there's a people say that they're transparent.
1054
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:22,000
No one's transparent.
1055
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:25,000
Because if you're transparent, you'd walk into a room and say, you stink.
1056
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:25,000
You smell.
1057
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:27,000
I don't like what you're wearing in your hair.
1058
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,000
All those are things.
1059
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:32,000
I'm I'm as pretty open to sharing the things that I'm sharing.
1060
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:37,000
So, yes, I sit down with my wife and I say to her, you know, I I I don't know.
1061
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,000
I mean, that that there's another obstacle.
1062
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,000
There's another mountain.
1063
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,000
There's another thing to pass.
1064
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:43,000
She has confidence in me.
1065
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:49,000
And so I I often draw on the confidence of the people around me.
1066
01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:50,000
So they they will say, no.
1067
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:51,000
No.
1068
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:51,000
Look at this.
1069
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:52,000
Look at this.
1070
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:53,000
I'm like, okay.
1071
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:54,000
I didn't see that.
1072
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:59,000
So, the different angle I'm trying to figure out what angle might I be missing.
1073
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,000
Well no.
1074
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:18,000
So what I'm saying is is that as we go through, this type of coaching session, every question, I'm going to be bringing in something that may feel a little bit different because she's going to be seeing things differently.
1075
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,000
Sometimes it's going to be you.
1076
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:28,000
Sometimes I'm going to notice something and bring it back to you and then ask you how you feel or think about it.
1077
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:30,000
And that's what I do, as a coach.
1078
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:51,000
And so, like, right now, you went through so many different things in your responses that I would still come back to our coming back to our conversation and coming back to what I would have done in the coaching session would be I would still be creating a clear goal.
1079
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:55,000
Because what you're describing to me is not a goal, it's a vision.
1080
01:13:55,000 --> 01:14:04,000
You have a pretty clear vision, but I still don't know what it is that you specifically want to do in this particular coaching conversation.
1081
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:05,000
Right?
1082
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:11,000
I in a in a particular I mean, if we keep on calling it coaching and a coaching session, that's a different story.
1083
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:21,000
If we're talking about reshaping tomorrow and thinking differently, which is the title, then I what I'm looking to do is personally be able to reshape tomorrow by thinking differently.
1084
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,000
So, it's very clear what we're doing.
1085
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:25,000
We have a 40 year plan.
1086
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:36,000
Establish a box with a roof and a door on the moon through the accelerated development of an earth and space based ecosystem, bring those innovations and the paradigm shifting thinking from the endeavor and turning it back on Earth to improve how we live on Earth for all species.
1087
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:38,000
We actually have a 4 phase development of the moon.
1088
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:44,000
We have diagrams, maps, models, forecast plans, pitch decks.
1089
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,000
All of those things have been built.
1090
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,000
We have teams that are working on it on a regular basis.
1091
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:54,000
We spent, just on our scale model, we spent on phase 1 was 3000 hours and 8 months.
1092
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:58,000
Phase 2 was 18 months and 10000 hours.
1093
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:06,000
If I was to go to our platform, we have, pitch decks that are in design, 23 hours of videos, filed their patents, trademarks, and copyrights on it.
1094
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:09,000
We have pay we have people individual working on it.
1095
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:13,000
We are bringing those together in project management teams and building that out.
1096
01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:15,000
I mean, I can go through each one of them.
1097
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:20,000
So we have very, very specific outcomes of each types of activity that we're working on.
1098
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:23,000
But my role is not to do each one of them.
1099
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:26,000
My role is to lead it through.
1100
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:33,000
It's I'm I don't like to use words because they make me feel bad, but I have to give a definition for you.
1101
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:39,000
I have to help be a coordinator or an orchestrator or a whatever definition it is.
1102
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:45,000
I can't get too far into the weeds because they're better at the team's so much better than I am at these things.
1103
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,000
They're just experts in their fields.
1104
01:15:47,000 --> 01:16:04,000
But mine is to make sure that I move that project or all of these projects forward, whether it be the in the in Los Angeles, the project we're working on to build what we're calling the Odyssey, whether it be the chatbot system or the a it's not AGI, but let's use AGI system that we're building.
1105
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:07,000
Each one of the projects that we have are being moved forward.
1106
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:10,000
So I still have to be the best that I am to all of them.
1107
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:14,000
And my challenge is, am I living up to my expectations or theirs?
1108
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:17,000
How do I help them make it happen?
1109
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,000
So to redefine reshape tomorrow thinking differently.
1110
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:23,000
I mean, the podcast is redefining tomorrow.
1111
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:25,000
Exactly.
1112
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:34,000
And I'm only referring to it as coaching session because, that's exactly what we do through coaching, and that's exactly what we do in each coaching session.
1113
01:16:35,000 --> 01:17:00,000
So because when a client comes in like yourself and talks about vision and lots of different, strategy strategies and action steps and a lot of intricated, business aspects of their businesses, it remains unclear what is possible now, like right now, and what's in front of your face, what's in front of your nose even.
1114
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:00,000
Right?
1115
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:04,000
So because you can't embrace unembrasable.
1116
01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:19,000
When you're in a conversation with someone that you want, you want to get help from or you want to help, right, There has to be a definition of what is possible for this conversation.
1117
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:21,000
What is possible right now?
1118
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:30,000
What is what is important for you to focus on in the, like, very, very near like, right now, like, with right this moment?
1119
01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:35,000
And so when you were describing all of these things, it means nothing.
1120
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:36,000
Okay.
1121
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:37,000
So so what is meaningless.
1122
01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:39,000
I'm not saying that it's meaningless.
1123
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:46,000
It's very much meaningful, but it means that we can't address any of these things because we cannot address all of it at once.
1124
01:17:47,000 --> 01:18:03,000
So what I'm trying to do right now is I'm trying to find a way to get away from coaching as a concept, but get to reshaping tomorrow for me and for the podcast so that individuals can reshape their own future themselves because they're not gonna be coaches.
1125
01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:14,000
So I'm trying to change the conversation to find out how this toolset that you've got because you and I had a a mixed conversation as we got to this topic.
1126
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:19,000
We we moved around a lot, and I think we spoke for 2 hours or 2 and a half half half hours.
1127
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:29,000
And what I'm trying to do is create a new tool set in my mind by tying together some things that I'm not seeing so that I can use them better.
1128
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:31,000
So I'm not looking to be a better coach.
1129
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:32,000
I'm looking to be a better me.
1130
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,000
So that's what I keep on trying to pull back to.
1131
01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:40,000
How do I I'm not gonna go to a coach because I get tons of advice.
1132
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:44,000
I've got we've got tons of people on our team who are constantly giving us advice and helping us.
1133
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:46,000
Very smart people worldwide.
1134
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:48,000
And I'm not just saying that.
1135
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:52,000
I mean, we got some people who are just, like, really crazily bright.
1136
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:57,000
How do I help them in my job to reshape tomorrow?
1137
01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:09,000
How do I make sure so if the if the comment is, then what we need that I need to ask I need to become a coach, then I can follow your lead.
1138
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:21,000
If you're saying ask questions to have them visualize or become emotionally connected, well, yeah, that's something that I might be able to do better, and I'm trying to figure out what that may be.
1139
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:25,000
So I'm I'm bringing it down to, like, raw.
1140
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:30,000
How do we how do I help do my job better?
1141
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:32,000
Yes.
1142
01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:34,000
Does that make sense the way I kinda strung it?
1143
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:35,000
Well, yes.
1144
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:36,000
It does.
1145
01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:43,000
And I think that, well, you know, coaches, we don't give advice, so we ask questions.
1146
01:19:43,000 --> 01:20:40,000
And the reason reason that we're kind of, mopping this as a coaching session is because the tools that I'm teaching my students, the tools I'm teaching in communication classes, the tools that I'm, teaching and sharing with you right now about how to reshape the future by thinking differently are the tools of how to ask yourself questions so that you can formulate a much more specific and healthier, images that you can that will help you follow along one step at a time and how to make decisions based on the power of emotions and imagination, how to create clear goals for immediate future as well as for overall future that you want to create.
1147
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:53,000
All of that has to do with those tools, you know, the the application of emotions, imagination, and understanding how to listen to yourself.
1148
01:20:54,000 --> 01:21:06,000
And, I think that asking yourself or whoever you want to help, as you were saying, the right questions, you know, and and and and, focusing on that.
1149
01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:09,000
Why doesn't a coach give advice?
1150
01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:16,000
Well, you know, coaching, again, see, we're going to be jumping.
1151
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:17,000
Yeah.
1152
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:17,000
I know.
1153
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,000
But I'm I'm because yeah.
1154
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:21,000
Because you you brought it up, and I'm I'm writing.
1155
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:23,000
I'm writing pages of notes.
1156
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:28,000
You you've brought back a few times that a coach doesn't give advice, and I'm I'm asking for advice.
1157
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:33,000
I'm asking how do I do something, and you're not answering the question.
1158
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:36,000
So that's why I'm asking, who gave the rule book?
1159
01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:38,000
Yeah.
1160
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:39,000
Coaches can't give advice.
1161
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:41,000
Right.
1162
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:52,000
So we provide best practices, we provide resources, but we don't give advice because, people usually ask for advice, but they hardly ever follow the advice.
1163
01:21:53,000 --> 01:22:10,000
And, I think it's because that the best answer is going to come from, collecting all of the information that, they can get to, including internal and external, and then making decisions that they need to make.
1164
01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:23,000
And, coaching is, catching on fire globally because, I think that secretly, or not so secretly, human beings don't want to be told what to do.
1165
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:33,000
We want to be empowered to really understand that we can think for ourselves, we can make those decisions, and we do have answers if we really look attentively.
1166
01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:36,000
So not all of the answers are internal.
1167
01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:50,000
Like, if I'm going to ask you, well, you know, I want to build a bridge, well, I'm not going to meditate on that and find an answer internally, but there are answers outside of me.
1168
01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:57,000
There is research, maybe I should take a training, maybe I should, do something else, you know, get mentorship, whatever.
1169
01:22:58,000 --> 01:22:58,000
Right?
1170
01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:11,000
But the answers are that out there, and, I think that the client can put those strategies to get those answers and then come back to the next session and then move it forward.
1171
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:14,000
So it's it's about asking the right questions.
1172
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:23,000
It's about looking in inside and understanding what the obstacles are because most of our obstacles are internal.
1173
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:27,000
So so but going back to the question, why?
1174
01:23:28,000 --> 01:23:34,000
You're you're giving me what's happening, But why doesn't coaching give advice?
1175
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:40,000
It's be I believe because someone came up with what they think coaching is.
1176
01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:47,000
So a coach on a soccer field, football field, a coach gives advice.
1177
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:49,000
He does.
1178
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:50,000
She does.
1179
01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:51,000
Do it this way.
1180
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:51,000
Change your foot.
1181
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:52,000
Move this angle.
1182
01:23:53,000 --> 01:23:54,000
Switch your legs.
1183
01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:56,000
Now work with the team different.
1184
01:23:56,000 --> 01:23:57,000
Here's a mapping.
1185
01:23:57,000 --> 01:23:58,000
Here's where we should go.
1186
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:01,000
Coaches have always, throughout history, given advice.
1187
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:11,000
And I think, you know, this data about coaching glowing globally is absolutely, sorry, completely incorrect in the way in which it's actually forming.
1188
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:13,000
So here's a quick history.
1189
01:24:13,000 --> 01:24:17,000
I'll do it for the speaking industry first, then come back.
1190
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:23,000
Prior to the year of 1999 before the dotcom bubble, people worked a lot for corporations.
1191
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:24,000
They were big.
1192
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:26,000
They were, tied to them.
1193
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:32,000
And then we had the dotcom bust, and a lot of people lost their jobs.
1194
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:33,000
And they hung up shingles.
1195
01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:37,000
And the speaking industry was doing fairly well.
1196
01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:38,000
People got paid.
1197
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:41,000
And then what happened next was kind of interesting.
1198
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:46,000
The conferences did not have enough people coming to them.
1199
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,000
And the worst part of any conference is a panel.
1200
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:51,000
It has always been the worst part.
1201
01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:57,000
You have an hour, you have 4 people on stage, 5 minutes for introduction, each person goes through who they are.
1202
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:00,000
They they made us 5 questions or answer 7 questions.
1203
01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:05,000
And by the time you're done, you only have, you know, 18 minutes of fame.
1204
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:08,000
But they invited people to come speak, so everybody became an expert.
1205
01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:16,000
And there were more panels than there were in 1999 because they wanted people to attend, so they used them as, leverage points.
1206
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:19,000
Everybody hung up a shingle because they didn't have any money.
1207
01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:21,000
They were business has changed.
1208
01:25:22,000 --> 01:25:23,000
So then it changed.
1209
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:27,000
About midway through, people started saying, I'm not making any money.
1210
01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:31,000
And they got jobs once again because running a business is really tough.
1211
01:25:31,000 --> 01:25:33,000
Then we had the Lehman Brothers collapse.
1212
01:25:34,000 --> 01:25:36,000
And the exact same thing happened again.
1213
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:37,000
People lost their jobs.
1214
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:38,000
They needed to have incomes.
1215
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:43,000
They started to become consultants and advisors because they figured out how all this experience.
1216
01:25:44,000 --> 01:25:48,000
And most coaches or speakers don't make money off of they don't survive.
1217
01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:50,000
They don't do as well as people might think.
1218
01:25:50,000 --> 01:25:57,000
What ended up happening was, go through the mid 2000, tens to 15, same thing happened.
1219
01:25:57,000 --> 01:26:02,000
More panels, more people not succeeding, less speakers on stage as individuals.
1220
01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:06,000
And then we had just recently the COVID dilemma.
1221
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:08,000
So we have a lot of coaches.
1222
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:09,000
So you could do the same thing with coaching.
1223
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:17,000
Coaching has been exploding, but most coaches aren't making enough money to live by.
1224
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,000
So, yes, it is an explosive industry.
1225
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:24,000
However, you gotta have people doing the work.
1226
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:30,000
So a coach gives advice throughout history.
1227
01:26:31,000 --> 01:26:36,000
The industry of coaching has morphed because the opportunities are there.
1228
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:43,000
But most of these people who are selling on Instagram and TikTok and every read the reviews.
1229
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:46,000
Most people in those audiences don't make it.
1230
01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:53,000
So are we following a pathway, going back to reshaping tomorrow?
1231
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:55,000
The real thing is, how do we create a new tomorrow?
1232
01:26:56,000 --> 01:26:58,000
And that's what I'm trying to find out from you.
1233
01:26:58,000 --> 01:27:03,000
Not just the coaching, but how do we so if you're saying ask questions, great.
1234
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:08,000
But I'm still looking for answers, so I'm I'm kinda empty.
1235
01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:10,000
Like, what do I do next?
1236
01:27:12,000 --> 01:27:14,000
Does that make sense the way I'm saying it?
1237
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:17,000
Well, everything makes sense.
1238
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:24,000
It's just that, you have to ask those questions and then you have to respond to those questions.
1239
01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:31,000
But if I'm asking myself a question and then not responded, then what's the point of asking a question?
1240
01:27:32,000 --> 01:27:36,000
Well, again, it's so, like, for example, you have your next point.
1241
01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:38,000
The importance of having a clear goal.
1242
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:41,000
Explain to me where you're going with that.
1243
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:42,000
Let me understand that.
1244
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,000
Right.
1245
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:51,000
So imagine you getting into a cab and you're saying, just drive around, because that's what we've been doing.
1246
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:55,000
You know, today, we're just kinda driving around.
1247
01:27:55,000 --> 01:28:11,000
And so it seems that the topic is reshaping the future by thinking differently, and yet we are stopping by to grab coffee, stopping by to grab newspaper, then maybe one of us met a friend and we said, hi.
1248
01:28:11,000 --> 01:28:13,000
And we're just, like, you know, a little bit all over the place.
1249
01:28:13,000 --> 01:28:14,000
Right?
1250
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:36,000
And so when it happens, when, you're actually asking yourself a question that is focused, that's supposed to help you to determine what you need and what you want, and it get and the attention gets, like, not focused, then the results are, like, not there, like, because it needs to be a very focused goal.
1251
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:46,000
So the but don't do you not see that the focused goal is I would like to reshape tomorrow and think differently, and I'm not looking to be a better coach?
1252
01:28:46,000 --> 01:28:50,000
I'm looking to reshape tomorrow and think differently.
1253
01:28:51,000 --> 01:28:51,000
Right.
1254
01:28:51,000 --> 01:28:54,000
So reshaping tomorrow starts with you.
1255
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:54,000
Right?
1256
01:28:54,000 --> 01:29:06,000
So reshaping tomorrow starts by shaping what you want for yourself and for your future.
1257
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:08,000
That's how you reshape your future.
1258
01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:17,000
Reshaping the future starts by imagining what you want, creating a vision.
1259
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:22,000
And that that vision, like, if I would ask you to well, you already have the vision.
1260
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:24,000
You have a really you have amazing vision.
1261
01:29:25,000 --> 01:29:27,000
It's going to take a while to achieve.
1262
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:27,000
Right?
1263
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:29,000
You're going to be a 100 100 years old.
1264
01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:31,000
And then I will retire.
1265
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:31,000
Right?
1266
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:32,000
And you'll never retire.
1267
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:33,000
No.
1268
01:29:33,000 --> 01:29:34,000
I'll retire when I'm a 100.
1269
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:34,000
So it's good.
1270
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:35,000
Retire.
1271
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:35,000
Okay.
1272
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:43,000
So but, you know, if you were imagine, whenever it is that the vision that you have, it's achieved.
1273
01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:46,000
You got this vision done.
1274
01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:47,000
It's done.
1275
01:29:47,000 --> 01:29:48,000
It's everything is done.
1276
01:29:48,000 --> 01:29:49,000
Yeah.
1277
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:50,000
And you feel good.
1278
01:29:51,000 --> 01:30:04,000
You are completely satisfied, your team, all of the team members, everyone who works with you and around you, they're all thrilled, you got exactly what you wanted with your vision.
1279
01:30:04,000 --> 01:30:06,000
It happened, it had happened.
1280
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:06,000
Yeah.
1281
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:20,000
So now if you look back and take literally walk backwards, one step at a time, maybe 1 year at a time, from a 100 back to where you are today, maybe that will give you clarity.
1282
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:22,000
Right?
1283
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:38,000
Then the question is, okay, now as you're walking back backwards, and then you can look, you can stop at any point, right, and look back into the future and ask yourself, what did I have to do to get from where I am to where I still need to get to?
1284
01:30:38,000 --> 01:31:01,000
And so if you like, you can kinda walk back all the way to today and maybe look in front of you, look in front of you, and it may be overwhelming to see all of the things that you need to do to get there, but maybe to look at what do you need to do today or tomorrow or this week that's going to help you move forward.
1285
01:31:02,000 --> 01:31:07,000
And those questions that you need to answer, I don't have the answers for for you.
1286
01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:14,000
You know, if I even if I would be available for advising, like, no one can really tell you.
1287
01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:16,000
No.
1288
01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:27,000
No one can give this, well, they can, they do give, yes, people can give advice or they can participate by finding the answer of what needs to be done.
1289
01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:32,000
So when you share with someone an outline and you say, what is your timeline?
1290
01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:33,000
What are the things you want to accomplish?
1291
01:31:33,000 --> 01:31:39,000
And you say, by 2,032 to 2,031, I want to achieve this.
1292
01:31:39,000 --> 01:31:42,000
By 2,036, I want to achieve this.
1293
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:49,000
By putting in those deadlines, those dates, there are things that have to be accomplished.
1294
01:31:49,000 --> 01:32:03,000
So in in ours, our in our timelines we have, it is, it goes to 2031, then we're going 2036, then we go out to 2046, and then we go to 2063.
1295
01:32:03,000 --> 01:32:08,000
So we have broken down into 4 phases in each side of in each portion.
1296
01:32:08,000 --> 01:32:10,000
There are things that have to be accomplished.
1297
01:32:11,000 --> 01:32:13,000
So they have them, but it still doesn't make me better.
1298
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:16,000
I we just have it.
1299
01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:18,000
So I'm yeah.
1300
01:32:18,000 --> 01:32:20,000
And I understand you can go backwards, but
1301
01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:23,000
Yeah.
1302
01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:24,000
So I I'm visualizing it.
1303
01:32:24,000 --> 01:32:28,000
So I'm taking your visualization, and the clear goals.
1304
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:31,000
So what how does a clear goal look to you?
1305
01:32:31,000 --> 01:32:39,000
Like, how do you shape or help how do you personally how do you personally shape a goal for you?
1306
01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:40,000
Mhmm.
1307
01:32:42,000 --> 01:32:42,000
Yeah.
1308
01:32:43,000 --> 01:32:52,000
So, you know, for me, I think that, you have to find a vision that you completely and totally resonate with.
1309
01:32:53,000 --> 01:32:58,000
If the vision doesn't give me energy, I'm sorry, it's the wrong vision.
1310
01:32:59,000 --> 01:33:07,000
Like, if I have a vision that makes me feel tired as though what you were describing, it's probably a really good thought.
1311
01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:22,000
I mean, it's probably a good idea to consider either doing it differently or doing something else if it would be me, simply because, again, the image will give us the energy to move forward.
1312
01:33:22,000 --> 01:33:30,000
If the image is, making me feel, as you were describing, I I don't know.
1313
01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:32,000
I just, I'm tired.
1314
01:33:32,000 --> 01:33:33,000
Right?
1315
01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:39,000
Well, then, something needs to be tweaked here.
1316
01:33:39,000 --> 01:33:44,000
Well, I I I'm tired because I'll have 38 meetings in a week or 28 meetings.
1317
01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:45,000
I still take my time off.
1318
01:33:45,000 --> 01:33:46,000
I still rest.
1319
01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:48,000
I get my sleep.
1320
01:33:48,000 --> 01:33:50,000
I'm not tired in that sense.
1321
01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:54,000
I I get, because of pushing mountains.
1322
01:33:55,000 --> 01:33:57,000
It's it's because of the scale, size, and scope.
1323
01:33:57,000 --> 01:34:01,000
It's not because there are things that we're doing inside that I absolutely think are amazing.
1324
01:34:03,000 --> 01:34:04,000
It's, I think it's what we need.
1325
01:34:05,000 --> 01:34:11,000
You know, if you look throughout history, there are individuals who worked and worked and worked and worked because it was something that was necessary.
1326
01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:13,000
It's not always they're in love with it.
1327
01:34:13,000 --> 01:34:15,000
They just knew it was necessary.
1328
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:27,000
And so, I don't have If you ask me to go dancing tonight, and you were the right person, and we were on dance floor, I'll dance till 4 in the morning with you.
1329
01:34:27,000 --> 01:34:28,000
For sure.
1330
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,000
I love to dance.
1331
01:34:30,000 --> 01:34:31,000
That's a different type of energy.
1332
01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:36,000
But if you get on our calls with our team, the team will say, oh my god.
1333
01:34:36,000 --> 01:34:38,000
You bring all the energy all the time.
1334
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:39,000
And we were on a call, had a lot of energy.
1335
01:34:40,000 --> 01:34:43,000
But it doesn't mean I don't get tired because I'm working.
1336
01:34:44,000 --> 01:34:46,000
So it's a different type of question.
1337
01:34:46,000 --> 01:34:51,000
But if you're saying for you, like, you do you your vision that resonates with you.
1338
01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:53,000
So you're saying you start off with your vision.
1339
01:34:53,000 --> 01:34:59,000
Do you start off with your emotion, your imagination, and the images, or do you start off with a vision?
1340
01:35:00,000 --> 01:35:02,000
Well, so, you know, since we were talking about you
1341
01:35:03,000 --> 01:35:03,000
Mhmm.
1342
01:35:03,000 --> 01:35:05,000
From like, for, like, almost 2 hours.
1343
01:35:05,000 --> 01:35:06,000
You know?
1344
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:06,000
Right?
1345
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:10,000
So I think that it makes sense to stay on that topic since it's already kinda explored.
1346
01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:21,000
And I think that, what you're describing in your in your response, it becomes clear that it's not a physical type of, or type of tiredness.
1347
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:22,000
Mhmm.
1348
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,000
But it's an emotional.
1349
01:35:23,000 --> 01:35:27,000
It's a it's mental type of tiredness, but it's still there.
1350
01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:37,000
So, you know, I would be asking, you or myself if I would be in your shoes, since this is what's it's about, you know, how to ask the right questions.
1351
01:35:38,000 --> 01:35:46,000
I would be asking, what can I do differently, or how can I turn this mountain into something more feasible?
1352
01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:48,000
How can I think about it differently?
1353
01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:50,000
How can I think about it differently?
1354
01:35:50,000 --> 01:35:56,000
So it's not so it doesn't feel oh, so putting it in I would have caught myself.
1355
01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:56,000
Right?
1356
01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:59,000
Because I almost say it so it wouldn't feel overwhelming.
1357
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:00,000
And that would have been an anxiety.
1358
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:00,000
Right?
1359
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:03,000
And so I would have caught myself in that in that thinking.
1360
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:15,000
And I would have said, you know, so what does it have to do to think differently, so that it feels easy or easier and doable.
1361
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:20,000
And I would probably ask myself to create those words.
1362
01:36:20,000 --> 01:36:23,000
Like, how would you speaking about turning negative into positive.
1363
01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:28,000
So now it feels overwhelming and like a huge map pushing mountains.
1364
01:36:29,000 --> 01:36:36,000
What, other metaphor would you like to use that would give an opposite feeling?
1365
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:39,000
Feeling that you want to have.
1366
01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:42,000
And what words, what images would you describe it?
1367
01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:43,000
That would be another question.
1368
01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:53,000
What images or what words, would you describe, how do you actually want to feel that are realistic and doable?
1369
01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:57,000
You may not know exactly how to go about it yet, but what would be those words?
1370
01:36:58,000 --> 01:36:58,000
You know?
1371
01:36:58,000 --> 01:37:00,000
And that that would be a starting point.
1372
01:37:02,000 --> 01:37:02,000
Okay.
1373
01:37:02,000 --> 01:37:11,000
I'm trying to think of things because they're one of one of the members on the team says you've been doing this for this amount of time and you still don't love it.
1374
01:37:11,000 --> 01:37:12,000
And he loves it.
1375
01:37:12,000 --> 01:37:16,000
And I say, I don't have to love it to do it.
1376
01:37:16,000 --> 01:37:18,000
I have to make sure it's done.
1377
01:37:18,000 --> 01:37:21,000
You know, we we don't always have to do things in life that we love.
1378
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:24,000
It doesn't always translate that way.
1379
01:37:24,000 --> 01:37:29,000
In in China, actually, there's a saying, you don't do you you don't do what you love.
1380
01:37:29,000 --> 01:37:30,000
You love what you do.
1381
01:37:32,000 --> 01:37:38,000
Meaning that the government might give them a job to do when they retire from that, and then they're given another job that they do.
1382
01:37:38,000 --> 01:37:40,000
And they said he says, you don't.
1383
01:37:40,000 --> 01:37:43,000
I just love it because I was told to love it.
1384
01:37:43,000 --> 01:37:48,000
And it not being negative against the Chinese culture, not at all because I loved living in Asia.
1385
01:37:49,000 --> 01:37:56,000
So I'm trying to think about how to be able to turn some of these things, which are just really challenging all the time.
1386
01:37:56,000 --> 01:37:59,000
So I could say that I I love being challenged all the time.
1387
01:38:00,000 --> 01:38:03,000
And I do love that there's diversity of the work that I do every day.
1388
01:38:04,000 --> 01:38:07,000
And I do love the people that I interact with.
1389
01:38:07,000 --> 01:38:09,000
And I do love all of those things.
1390
01:38:10,000 --> 01:38:11,000
Just there's a lot.
1391
01:38:12,000 --> 01:38:20,000
So I could say that I don't love that there's always a lot, but I signed up for it and I could un sign.
1392
01:38:21,000 --> 01:38:27,000
I've asked my wife this, and she says she would tell me if she thinks it's the wrong thing to do.
1393
01:38:27,000 --> 01:38:30,000
So I don't know if I I I have to think about it.
1394
01:38:30,000 --> 01:38:33,000
I don't know how to turn it into something.
1395
01:38:33,000 --> 01:38:35,000
It's pushing mountains not in a negative way.
1396
01:38:35,000 --> 01:38:37,000
I don't think of it in a negative way.
1397
01:38:37,000 --> 01:38:43,000
I think of it as they're just oh, there's a lot of things that have to be done.
1398
01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:46,000
So I don't sit back and say, oh my god.
1399
01:38:46,000 --> 01:38:46,000
It's not achievable.
1400
01:38:47,000 --> 01:38:48,000
I think it's all achievable.
1401
01:38:48,000 --> 01:38:50,000
Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing it.
1402
01:38:50,000 --> 01:38:51,000
Does that make sense?
1403
01:38:51,000 --> 01:38:52,000
It makes total sense.
1404
01:38:52,000 --> 01:39:00,000
And yet, pushing mountains image gives you a feeling of being tired.
1405
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:01,000
No.
1406
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:01,000
No.
1407
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:06,000
When I say I'm pushing mountains, I just know that I have to push mountains, and I can push mountains.
1408
01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:09,000
I've done it before.
1409
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:10,000
Right.
1410
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:17,000
But, you know, as you're reflecting back on what you shared before, the feeling that you shared before when you have that image, what was that feeling?
1411
01:39:19,000 --> 01:39:21,000
The feeling was I need new skills.
1412
01:39:22,000 --> 01:39:23,000
That's it.
1413
01:39:25,000 --> 01:39:34,000
How do I how do I when you move something and and, we all have done things in our businesses that we don't like to do.
1414
01:39:35,000 --> 01:39:37,000
No one loves everything that they have in their business.
1415
01:39:37,000 --> 01:39:41,000
The accounting, the filling out the government tax forms, the getting on a plane.
1416
01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:46,000
You could love the whole thing, but you don't have to love everything you do.
1417
01:39:47,000 --> 01:39:49,000
I I can't think of any business I've owned.
1418
01:39:49,000 --> 01:39:53,000
I've loved everything that I've done because there are challenges in every one of them.
1419
01:39:53,000 --> 01:39:58,000
And in each one of them, I would say, I've never said they were mountains because they weren't as the scale wasn't there.
1420
01:39:58,000 --> 01:40:06,000
But I'm still asking how do we how do how do you make that transition by asking another set of questions?
1421
01:40:08,000 --> 01:40:11,000
Because myself, and I'm thinking of the people on our team.
1422
01:40:12,000 --> 01:40:18,000
They don't always maybe they don't want to change.
1423
01:40:19,000 --> 01:40:21,000
Maybe they don't want to see a new option.
1424
01:40:21,000 --> 01:40:23,000
I'm trying to find it.
1425
01:40:24,000 --> 01:40:30,000
So being tired is is maybe it's yeah.
1426
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:35,000
I would say that's then the wrong word because you're you've got an emotional connection to the word tired.
1427
01:40:36,000 --> 01:40:38,000
Tired is there's a lot going on.
1428
01:40:38,000 --> 01:40:39,000
I mean, yeah.
1429
01:40:39,000 --> 01:40:42,000
But I'm I get my 7 hours of sleep.
1430
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:44,000
I go through a day.
1431
01:40:44,000 --> 01:40:45,000
I'm not mean to people.
1432
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:48,000
Mix I get on calls with amazing people.
1433
01:40:49,000 --> 01:40:52,000
Things are working, but it's still tiring.
1434
01:40:53,000 --> 01:40:56,000
Like, going to the gym, when you're done, you're tired.
1435
01:40:56,000 --> 01:40:58,000
Coulda had a great workout.
1436
01:40:58,000 --> 01:41:00,000
You still can be tired when you're done.
1437
01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:02,000
Does that make sense?
1438
01:41:02,000 --> 01:41:06,000
It does make sense, but, you know, I would challenge you to listen back to our recording.
1439
01:41:07,000 --> 01:41:08,000
Oh, I do.
1440
01:41:08,000 --> 01:41:15,000
And and listen and listen back to your response initially, to that kind of similar question.
1441
01:41:16,000 --> 01:41:16,000
Right?
1442
01:41:16,000 --> 01:41:28,000
Because I remember it a little bit differently, in terms of how you were expressing your emotions when you were talking about this big mountain that you have to push every single day.
1443
01:41:29,000 --> 01:41:31,000
Well, it's a lot of mountains, not just one.
1444
01:41:31,000 --> 01:41:31,000
Mountains.
1445
01:41:31,000 --> 01:41:32,000
Right.
1446
01:41:32,000 --> 01:41:32,000
Exactly.
1447
01:41:32,000 --> 01:41:33,000
So mountains.
1448
01:41:33,000 --> 01:41:37,000
And I and I do see them as mountains because they're 40 year plans.
1449
01:41:38,000 --> 01:41:41,000
So should I give it I mean, you don't give advice.
1450
01:41:42,000 --> 01:41:43,000
So that's a okay.
1451
01:41:43,000 --> 01:41:47,000
So so how do you create that clear goal then?
1452
01:41:47,000 --> 01:41:57,000
So, yeah, so the next question would be for you, to ponder, what image, like, what image because you said many mountains.
1453
01:41:58,000 --> 01:41:58,000
Yeah.
1454
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:09,000
What other image you could replace it with that wouldn't feel as overwhelming and yet realistic enough?
1455
01:42:09,000 --> 01:42:15,000
I don't again, I don't feel overwhelmed, but what imagery does come to mind for you when I say I
1456
01:42:15,000 --> 01:42:16,000
don't know.
1457
01:42:16,000 --> 01:42:17,000
I mean, I don't know.
1458
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:17,000
I just
1459
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:17,000
No.
1460
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:30,000
When I when I when you heard it, if you were to substitute out because it's not about coaching, it's about helping, what imagery comes to mind when you think of let's say someone said to you, I feel overwhelmed.
1461
01:42:30,000 --> 01:42:35,000
Or what do you think of when you change it from overwhelmed to something else?
1462
01:42:35,000 --> 01:42:36,000
What do you do?
1463
01:42:36,000 --> 01:42:50,000
Well, you know, so overwhelm, the opposite of overwhelm could be many different things depending, not only depending on the person, but also depending on what that person is overwhelmed with.
1464
01:42:50,000 --> 01:42:59,000
So, the opposite of overwhelm could be peace of mind, or could be what whatever other phrase.
1465
01:42:59,000 --> 01:43:00,000
It could be peace of mind.
1466
01:43:00,000 --> 01:43:03,000
It could be, feeling more creative.
1467
01:43:03,000 --> 01:43:11,000
It could be, having better strategies so that or hiring other people.
1468
01:43:11,000 --> 01:43:14,000
It could be, like, I could be actually seeing that in my mind's eye.
1469
01:43:14,000 --> 01:43:15,000
Right?
1470
01:43:15,000 --> 01:43:24,000
I could be seeing solutions because usually when we ask questions, a lot of times people actually jump to seeing solutions, like, almost right away.
1471
01:43:24,000 --> 01:43:30,000
I mean, David, you were talking a lot about creating systems and strategies, in your book.
1472
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:30,000
Right?
1473
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:52,000
And, so the next logical thing that comes to mind, what other strategies and systems may be put in place so that it wouldn't feel so it wouldn't feel like there's that that many, there are so many, things to so many mountains to to move.
1474
01:43:52,000 --> 01:43:52,000
Right?
1475
01:43:52,000 --> 01:43:57,000
But then again, I don't know because you I I'm hearing 2 different things from you, actually.
1476
01:43:57,000 --> 01:43:57,000
Sure.
1477
01:43:57,000 --> 01:44:04,000
I'm hearing on one hand, you you did say it in the beginning that it feel I maybe you did I don't remember if you used the word overwhelming.
1478
01:44:05,000 --> 01:44:07,000
But I don't I don't use that word.
1479
01:44:07,000 --> 01:44:07,000
So yeah.
1480
01:44:07,000 --> 01:44:08,000
It would be something else.
1481
01:44:08,000 --> 01:44:15,000
But you used something that gave me the feeling that you were describing an incredible level of overwhelm.
1482
01:44:16,000 --> 01:44:19,000
So what So that's not that's not the definition, so I apologize for that.
1483
01:44:19,000 --> 01:44:19,000
No.
1484
01:44:19,000 --> 01:44:20,000
I don't feel overwhelmed.
1485
01:44:22,000 --> 01:44:28,000
I feel that I've got to make a transition to in some areas, to improve my performance.
1486
01:44:28,000 --> 01:44:33,000
So the secret is I get pod I create podcasts to learn from people.
1487
01:44:33,000 --> 01:44:35,000
That's the reason the podcast came about.
1488
01:44:35,000 --> 01:44:37,000
It was how can I learn from people?
1489
01:44:37,000 --> 01:44:41,000
Not for the economics, not for getting the name out there.
1490
01:44:41,000 --> 01:44:48,000
The number one reason you can see it everywhere on anything that has to do with our podcast, and this goes back to the first podcast in 1999 or something.
1491
01:44:49,000 --> 01:44:51,000
They all were about how can I learn?
1492
01:44:52,000 --> 01:44:52,000
Right.
1493
01:44:53,000 --> 01:45:00,000
So I find people like you when I've got another one tomorrow, and I've got 2 next week, is so that I can hear different perspectives.
1494
01:45:04,000 --> 01:45:04,000
Yeah.
1495
01:45:04,000 --> 01:45:10,000
I mean, it's I I I appreciate that, and I think that it's about asking the right questions.
1496
01:45:10,000 --> 01:45:23,000
So, like, I don't know, how someone else is feeling, and, I don't know how, what metaphor someone else can be seeing in their mind's eye.
1497
01:45:25,000 --> 01:45:33,000
And I don't know, actually, many mountains could be a good thing for someone who likes a lot of things, a lot of action.
1498
01:45:33,000 --> 01:45:37,000
And, you know, but, you did say I'm tired.
1499
01:45:38,000 --> 01:45:42,000
And then it was clarified that you are not tired physically, but you're tired in other ways.
1500
01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:50,000
And so I think that, you know, when we are tired, we're not really even bringing ourselves 100% anyway.
1501
01:45:50,000 --> 01:45:52,000
So what are your thoughts about that?
1502
01:45:52,000 --> 01:46:09,000
Let's so I would say that you, the many mountains became a metaphor for people to understand that we are not there there are in a mountain range, there are a lot of mountains to create a mountain range.
1503
01:46:10,000 --> 01:46:15,000
In in people might say we have a lot of projects to work on.
1504
01:46:15,000 --> 01:46:20,000
But if you looked at the scale, size, and scope, people kinda push back because it's they're they're large enough.
1505
01:46:20,000 --> 01:46:23,000
They feel like they're they've gotta be moved individually.
1506
01:46:24,000 --> 01:46:28,000
So tired in other ways am I tired in other ways?
1507
01:46:29,000 --> 01:46:29,000
Yeah.
1508
01:46:29,000 --> 01:46:30,000
There's not a physical.
1509
01:46:30,000 --> 01:46:35,000
I I still have all the energy I need, and I'm ready to rock and roll every day.
1510
01:46:36,000 --> 01:46:39,000
Do I feel giving it a 100%?
1511
01:46:40,000 --> 01:46:43,000
I would say there's no you can't do a 110%.
1512
01:46:43,000 --> 01:46:44,000
That's impossible.
1513
01:46:44,000 --> 01:46:46,000
I I love when people say give it a 110%.
1514
01:46:46,000 --> 01:46:48,000
An engine burns out at a 110%.
1515
01:46:49,000 --> 01:46:55,000
I would say the sine wave or the wave of work, I am a sprinter.
1516
01:46:56,000 --> 01:46:59,000
I can really turn it on, then I need to turn it off.
1517
01:46:59,000 --> 01:47:01,000
Then I really turn it on, then I need that break.
1518
01:47:02,000 --> 01:47:03,000
And I know that.
1519
01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:04,000
I've learned that over time.
1520
01:47:04,000 --> 01:47:05,000
I'm not the everyday person.
1521
01:47:06,000 --> 01:47:11,000
So, for example, my wife and I have worked together for 37 years, 38 years.
1522
01:47:11,000 --> 01:47:15,000
She she's more day to day, very consistent on it.
1523
01:47:15,000 --> 01:47:18,000
I'm the person who goes out and bam, gets it done.
1524
01:47:18,000 --> 01:47:19,000
And then I need some of the break.
1525
01:47:19,000 --> 01:47:23,000
So I actually live within my rhythm, if you wanna say.
1526
01:47:24,000 --> 01:47:30,000
But the ideas of systems and structure, how do I get them done faster?
1527
01:47:30,000 --> 01:47:31,000
That's right.
1528
01:47:31,000 --> 01:47:33,000
How do I get them created faster?
1529
01:47:34,000 --> 01:47:35,000
I don't I don't know.
1530
01:47:35,000 --> 01:47:37,000
I haven't been able to solve that.
1531
01:47:39,000 --> 01:47:39,000
Right.
1532
01:47:39,000 --> 01:47:46,000
Another question is actually, since we're looking at a 40 year span Yeah.
1533
01:47:46,000 --> 01:47:51,000
For this project and, you already saying that you are tired.
1534
01:47:52,000 --> 01:48:05,000
So how sustainable is your energy going to be, you know, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years from now, and all the way to a 100 years old?
1535
01:48:05,000 --> 01:48:05,000
You know?
1536
01:48:05,000 --> 01:48:07,000
So I mean, all of those questions.
1537
01:48:07,000 --> 01:48:09,000
My immediate reaction is unbelievable.
1538
01:48:10,000 --> 01:48:11,000
We'll be able to do it.
1539
01:48:11,000 --> 01:48:12,000
Not even an issue.
1540
01:48:12,000 --> 01:48:12,000
Amazing.
1541
01:48:12,000 --> 01:48:18,000
So you you one of your first questions of, me was, what is missing?
1542
01:48:18,000 --> 01:48:19,000
How do I answer that question?
1543
01:48:20,000 --> 01:48:20,000
Yeah.
1544
01:48:20,000 --> 01:48:30,000
So, I mean, we're going we look we're kind of what working around the circle because I ask a question and then you respond and say, well, actually, I don't have a problem with that.
1545
01:48:30,000 --> 01:48:31,000
I don't have a problem with that.
1546
01:48:31,000 --> 01:48:38,000
Then we go into another question and you're going you know, you're giving me a lot of lot of details and you say a lot of different things.
1547
01:48:38,000 --> 01:48:39,000
And you say, well, no.
1548
01:48:39,000 --> 01:48:40,000
Actually, I'm good.
1549
01:48:40,000 --> 01:48:42,000
I don't need I don't
1550
01:48:42,000 --> 01:48:44,000
need I don't need It's not I I would never say that I'm good.
1551
01:48:44,000 --> 01:48:46,000
I would I don't live in the past at all.
1552
01:48:46,000 --> 01:48:48,000
I mean, I don't think I don't spend time.
1553
01:48:48,000 --> 01:48:54,000
So my the it's not that I'm good because I wouldn't be on the call if I didn't think that I needed to evolve.
1554
01:48:54,000 --> 01:48:55,000
No.
1555
01:48:55,000 --> 01:48:58,000
I'm talking about specifically answering that question, what's missing.
1556
01:48:58,000 --> 01:49:00,000
So you it's like, I'm good in terms of yeah.
1557
01:49:00,000 --> 01:49:01,000
That's not it.
1558
01:49:01,000 --> 01:49:02,000
So you answer the question.
1559
01:49:02,000 --> 01:49:05,000
You're like, oh, you we explored a little bit, and you're like, no.
1560
01:49:05,000 --> 01:49:06,000
That's not it.
1561
01:49:06,000 --> 01:49:07,000
And then something else that is not it.
1562
01:49:07,000 --> 01:49:09,000
I didn't I don't think I did that.
1563
01:49:09,000 --> 01:49:12,000
I when you use words like overwhelmed, that's not what I would say.
1564
01:49:13,000 --> 01:49:24,000
If I did say I was tired, yeah, there are many days during the week where I say I think it was and I don't quote many, people like this, but Elon did say, I think just recently, that's why I'm using it.
1565
01:49:24,000 --> 01:49:28,000
He said the first three months of starting a business are exciting and fun.
1566
01:49:28,000 --> 01:49:31,000
And after that, it's just a lot of work.
1567
01:49:32,000 --> 01:49:32,000
Yeah.
1568
01:49:32,000 --> 01:49:34,000
And it just is.
1569
01:49:35,000 --> 01:49:35,000
Okay.
1570
01:49:35,000 --> 01:49:36,000
It just is.
1571
01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:36,000
Right?
1572
01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:39,000
I mean, you've known entrepreneurs.
1573
01:49:39,000 --> 01:49:40,000
You're an entrepreneur.
1574
01:49:40,000 --> 01:49:42,000
Is every day a great day?
1575
01:49:44,000 --> 01:49:45,000
That's not realistic.
1576
01:49:45,000 --> 01:49:45,000
Right?
1577
01:49:46,000 --> 01:49:46,000
Yeah.
1578
01:49:46,000 --> 01:49:48,000
So yes.
1579
01:49:48,000 --> 01:49:50,000
So but still back to your question.
1580
01:49:50,000 --> 01:49:51,000
Sure.
1581
01:49:51,000 --> 01:49:52,000
What is missing?
1582
01:49:52,000 --> 01:49:56,000
So what is missing for you somehow is connected.
1583
01:49:56,000 --> 01:49:57,000
How do I make it faster?
1584
01:49:58,000 --> 01:49:59,000
That's one of them.
1585
01:49:59,000 --> 01:50:00,000
Yes.
1586
01:50:00,000 --> 01:50:01,000
Very much.
1587
01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:01,000
It's one of them.
1588
01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:04,000
And so and there are other questions too.
1589
01:50:04,000 --> 01:50:09,000
So when we're talking about defining a goal, we can only talk about one thing.
1590
01:50:09,000 --> 01:50:11,000
So is it about what's missing?
1591
01:50:11,000 --> 01:50:14,000
Is it about something else for you?
1592
01:50:14,000 --> 01:50:21,000
And then you can start because one question, if as you start responding to that question, is going to lead you to another question.
1593
01:50:21,000 --> 01:50:26,000
And you kinda drill down until you found until you find the actual answer.
1594
01:50:27,000 --> 01:50:29,000
It's not the process that's just going to okay.
1595
01:50:29,000 --> 01:50:33,000
Just just gonna one answer, one question, another question, we're done.
1596
01:50:33,000 --> 01:50:35,000
It doesn't work like that.
1597
01:50:35,000 --> 01:50:35,000
Right?
1598
01:50:35,000 --> 01:50:40,000
And sometimes the answer could be something that you don't want to hear.
1599
01:50:40,000 --> 01:50:41,000
I mean, you know, the
1600
01:50:41,000 --> 01:50:42,000
answer Yeah.
1601
01:50:42,000 --> 01:50:42,000
Yeah.
1602
01:50:42,000 --> 01:50:42,000
Absolutely.
1603
01:50:43,000 --> 01:50:44,000
Yeah.
1604
01:50:44,000 --> 01:50:57,000
And, actually, it reminds me one of your TED Talks when you were showing in the PowerPoint, like, some that I don't remember exactly what it was, but you were giving an example that, you can't, like, want something that's, like, out there.
1605
01:50:57,000 --> 01:51:00,000
You have to really talk about your purpose.
1606
01:51:00,000 --> 01:51:05,000
You have to talk about to be more specific in terms of what is it that you really want.
1607
01:51:05,000 --> 01:51:08,000
Oh, that was the redefining in Dubai.
1608
01:51:08,000 --> 01:51:08,000
Right.
1609
01:51:09,000 --> 01:51:10,000
Exactly that.
1610
01:51:10,000 --> 01:51:11,000
So it's kinda along those lines, you can.
1611
01:51:11,000 --> 01:51:17,000
So because I think that the question, what am I missing is so general.
1612
01:51:18,000 --> 01:51:19,000
What am I missing?
1613
01:51:20,000 --> 01:51:28,000
If I would have been asking myself that question, I could have, like, because you're asking me what I would have been answering if I would be kind of self coaching.
1614
01:51:28,000 --> 01:51:30,000
Again, it depends on what is it about.
1615
01:51:30,000 --> 01:51:32,000
Is it about my fitness routine?
1616
01:51:32,000 --> 01:51:33,000
Is it about my business?
1617
01:51:35,000 --> 01:51:40,000
Even because you're talking about your business evidently, but even if it's about my business, what phase of my business?
1618
01:51:40,000 --> 01:51:42,000
What aspect of my business?
1619
01:51:43,000 --> 01:52:05,000
How does, that even quest how does this question in itself, connects to my personality and, what I represent in you know, what I represent and what, obstacles, what challenges, may be arising due to my personality.
1620
01:52:05,000 --> 01:52:11,000
Like, for instance, I know of myself I'm extremely controlling, and I love when you were saying that, you know, actually, it's not such a bad thing.
1621
01:52:11,000 --> 01:52:14,000
You know, micromanagement is, you know,
1622
01:52:14,000 --> 01:52:15,000
we have to do anything.
1623
01:52:15,000 --> 01:52:15,000
To think.
1624
01:52:15,000 --> 01:52:16,000
Yes.
1625
01:52:16,000 --> 01:52:17,000
It depends on how you do it.
1626
01:52:17,000 --> 01:52:21,000
So but maybe sometimes I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.
1627
01:52:21,000 --> 01:52:23,000
Sometimes I'm sure I'm doing it right.
1628
01:52:23,000 --> 01:52:24,000
But it's those questions.
1629
01:52:24,000 --> 01:52:25,000
How do you do it?
1630
01:52:25,000 --> 01:52:26,000
What do you need?
1631
01:52:26,000 --> 01:52:32,000
And what what do you want to really look at specifically to identify what's missing?
1632
01:52:32,000 --> 01:52:40,000
Because there's just millions of different areas in our minds, even about each single aspect of what we do.
1633
01:52:40,000 --> 01:52:45,000
And so the more you narrow down your question, the the better answer you'll be able to
1634
01:52:45,000 --> 01:52:46,000
Which is redefining.
1635
01:52:46,000 --> 01:52:47,000
Yes.
1636
01:52:47,000 --> 01:52:47,000
Exactly.
1637
01:52:48,000 --> 01:52:52,000
So if I was to be more precise, and thank you, I am completely vague in that.
1638
01:52:52,000 --> 01:53:02,000
When I'm saying what am I missing, I'm saying to myself, what am I missing in my skills to be able to grow the people and the organization?
1639
01:53:02,000 --> 01:53:08,000
Both in Synchronoss Systems and Structured Design, Technologies, Tools, and Leveraging.
1640
01:53:08,000 --> 01:53:15,000
And those that are involved in it so that we can accelerate and meet the timelines and deadlines we're looking to accomplish.
1641
01:53:15,000 --> 01:53:18,000
So if I was to be more precise, it's not about the systems and structure.
1642
01:53:18,000 --> 01:53:20,000
We're very good at that.
1643
01:53:20,000 --> 01:53:24,000
I can find any document going back to 1999 within less than 2 minutes.
1644
01:53:24,000 --> 01:53:25,000
We're very good at that.
1645
01:53:25,000 --> 01:53:26,000
We have a CRM system.
1646
01:53:26,000 --> 01:53:31,000
We have 30,000 names in our personal my personal database is 30,000 names.
1647
01:53:31,000 --> 01:53:35,000
I could tell you what happened in 2009 by just typing in a few, letters.
1648
01:53:36,000 --> 01:53:37,000
I mean, all those things are easy.
1649
01:53:38,000 --> 01:53:40,000
Mine is being the the person that I need to be.
1650
01:53:40,000 --> 01:53:55,000
So when I ask that question, and you're right, and if you even go to the one in do in Hong Kong, I address it there too, is it's trying to figure out what am I missing because I've pushed certain things to their end.
1651
01:53:56,000 --> 01:54:01,000
The equipment can't it doesn't we we we need to make another jump.
1652
01:54:02,000 --> 01:54:11,000
And I believe, maybe I'm wrong, my evolutionary change will help those around me make their transitions.
1653
01:54:12,000 --> 01:54:23,000
So when I say it that way, you're you're absolutely right in the things that you were just outlining, getting another question and being imprecise in the way in which I formulated that state that challenge statement.
1654
01:54:25,000 --> 01:54:27,000
It is specific in my end.
1655
01:54:27,000 --> 01:54:27,000
Yes.
1656
01:54:28,000 --> 01:54:30,000
It's in this one categorical place.
1657
01:54:31,000 --> 01:54:31,000
Mhmm.
1658
01:54:31,000 --> 01:54:38,000
How am I in these areas that the organization needs being able to do?
1659
01:54:38,000 --> 01:54:39,000
And I'll be very precise.
1660
01:54:40,000 --> 01:54:43,000
I wanna lead from behind, not as much from in the front.
1661
01:54:44,000 --> 01:54:47,000
And there's a huge difference between that in terms of strategic positioning.
1662
01:54:48,000 --> 01:54:58,000
So that means we have to grow people faster or find the right people in the right places or build the systems and structure and build the systems and structure so those individuals can thrive.
1663
01:54:59,000 --> 01:55:03,000
So it's very precise in the type of skill set that I'm looking for.
1664
01:55:03,000 --> 01:55:04,000
Absolutely.
1665
01:55:04,000 --> 01:55:05,000
Okay.
1666
01:55:05,000 --> 01:55:08,000
Well, that's we're getting some place there now.
1667
01:55:08,000 --> 01:55:09,000
Right?
1668
01:55:09,000 --> 01:55:09,000
Right.
1669
01:55:09,000 --> 01:55:24,000
So if you have that awareness, then, are those, do you what might be a clue that you have about a specific set of skill that you're looking for?
1670
01:55:26,000 --> 01:55:26,000
Okay.
1671
01:55:27,000 --> 01:55:28,000
So what would be a clue?
1672
01:55:30,000 --> 01:55:35,000
I guess it's funny because it's there are a few individuals worldwide that we have.
1673
01:55:36,000 --> 01:55:37,000
These conversations are more challenging.
1674
01:55:38,000 --> 01:55:49,000
Is that the trying to say it in the right way because of the redefining.
1675
01:55:50,000 --> 01:55:53,000
And it's a great tool, by the way, at redefining.
1676
01:55:53,000 --> 01:55:54,000
It's absolutely amazing.
1677
01:55:54,000 --> 01:56:02,000
And I will toss out while I'm thinking that they screwed up in Dubai with the recording, like, 5 times when I started.
1678
01:56:02,000 --> 01:56:05,000
And I kept on telling them they have to redo it again.
1679
01:56:05,000 --> 01:56:07,000
So I actually walked on stage 5 times.
1680
01:56:07,000 --> 01:56:08,000
No.
1681
01:56:08,000 --> 01:56:08,000
No.
1682
01:56:08,000 --> 01:56:08,000
No.
1683
01:56:08,000 --> 01:56:09,000
We're not using this.
1684
01:56:09,000 --> 01:56:10,000
You missed it.
1685
01:56:10,000 --> 01:56:11,000
Where's the where's this?
1686
01:56:11,000 --> 01:56:12,000
Where's the sign?
1687
01:56:12,000 --> 01:56:13,000
Where's the this?
1688
01:56:14,000 --> 01:56:16,000
And they knew that they had screwed up on it.
1689
01:56:16,000 --> 01:56:18,000
They'd something was just wrong with all their tech.
1690
01:56:18,000 --> 01:56:20,000
But it would ends up being good presentation.
1691
01:56:20,000 --> 01:56:28,000
So I would say that I'm I believe the systems and structure, the design, the tools, and pay to think, the approach that we're using is okay.
1692
01:56:29,000 --> 01:56:39,000
That part of the challenge is that individuals who are looking at the project we're working on have a challenge getting their mind around it.
1693
01:56:39,000 --> 01:56:43,000
And I haven't figured out that solution yet.
1694
01:56:43,000 --> 01:56:48,000
Meaning, when people hear what we're working on, even Gueter, what's it?
1695
01:56:48,000 --> 01:56:50,000
What I don't remember his last name.
1696
01:56:50,000 --> 01:56:55,000
Gueter said and he's the con the foremost expert on context variation by design in the world.
1697
01:56:56,000 --> 01:56:57,000
He's and he wrote a paper on us.
1698
01:56:58,000 --> 01:57:00,000
He said, I don't know how to think this big.
1699
01:57:02,000 --> 01:57:10,000
The one of the SpaceX number 4 hire, Hans Koonesmann, he said, I don't think SpaceX is thinking as big as you are.
1700
01:57:12,000 --> 01:57:13,000
We get that all the time.
1701
01:57:14,000 --> 01:57:24,000
So I'm I think that one of the key pieces, we're working on it, we are, is how to be and I'm not the person who can figure it out by myself.
1702
01:57:24,000 --> 01:57:25,000
I know that.
1703
01:57:25,000 --> 01:57:27,000
How do we make that work?
1704
01:57:28,000 --> 01:57:30,000
How do how do you get people to think bigger?
1705
01:57:31,000 --> 01:57:31,000
Do we need to?
1706
01:57:31,000 --> 01:57:33,000
And in some cases, no.
1707
01:57:33,000 --> 01:57:38,000
But in certain cases, we need to get people to be able to understand something that just it's different.
1708
01:57:39,000 --> 01:57:41,000
And I don't I I'm looking for answers.
1709
01:57:41,000 --> 01:57:42,000
I don't know.
1710
01:57:42,000 --> 01:57:48,000
As you as you were listening to yourself, processing out loud Yeah.
1711
01:57:48,000 --> 01:58:01,000
How does it get you closer to understanding what skill set is specifically missing in terms of clues that I was referring to for you, for your skill set?
1712
01:58:03,000 --> 01:58:06,000
Well, it gets get me closer to finding that answer.
1713
01:58:07,000 --> 01:58:17,000
It's, for me personally, I don't have an answer for that.
1714
01:58:17,000 --> 01:58:20,000
For the things that we're doing already, because that race through my mind.
1715
01:58:20,000 --> 01:58:21,000
I had 2 things.
1716
01:58:21,000 --> 01:58:22,000
1 was, what are we doing already?
1717
01:58:22,000 --> 01:58:24,000
And the second one is, what do I need?
1718
01:58:24,000 --> 01:58:37,000
What we're doing already is we're working on several pieces of it, but identifying and finding the individuals that can help us are still a little bit elusive.
1719
01:58:40,000 --> 01:58:41,000
And I'm doing podcasts.
1720
01:58:41,000 --> 01:58:43,000
I'm reaching out.
1721
01:58:43,000 --> 01:58:43,000
I'm connecting.
1722
01:58:43,000 --> 01:58:45,000
I'm sharing the story.
1723
01:58:45,000 --> 01:58:47,000
I'm trying to find new people in different ecosystems.
1724
01:58:48,000 --> 01:58:58,000
I I haven't found, I don't know if there'll be a magic bullet, but I haven't found that thing.
1725
01:58:59,000 --> 01:59:09,000
That's where that's why reshaping tomorrow thinking differently was that I like the title because wanna figure out what's that what am I missing?
1726
01:59:10,000 --> 01:59:25,000
Like, I somebody else I think has to help me see what I'm missing so that I can uncover it, discover it, redefine it, reuse it, retool it into the into something that can make it work.
1727
01:59:25,000 --> 01:59:26,000
That makes sense.
1728
01:59:27,000 --> 01:59:35,000
Well, so what I'm hearing is that, there isn't a certainty whether anything is missing, in fact, or not.
1729
01:59:36,000 --> 01:59:41,000
But, you kinda thinking that there may be something missing.
1730
01:59:41,000 --> 01:59:42,000
And then Yes.
1731
01:59:42,000 --> 01:59:43,000
When the You
1732
01:59:43,000 --> 01:59:45,000
you're absolutely correct in the way you assisted.
1733
01:59:45,000 --> 01:59:45,000
Correct.
1734
01:59:45,000 --> 01:59:46,000
Yep.
1735
01:59:46,000 --> 01:59:51,000
And then when you're asking yourself that question, and when you're answering I'm sorry.
1736
01:59:51,000 --> 02:00:09,000
When you're answering that question out loud, right now with us here together, you're going into what you were doing and what other people are doing and expecting, but not about actual clue of what may be missing in your skill set.
1737
02:00:09,000 --> 02:00:12,000
And so when I'm reflecting it back to you, what are your thoughts?
1738
02:00:12,000 --> 02:00:13,000
Uh-huh.
1739
02:00:16,000 --> 02:00:18,000
The I'm tying this to creating a goal.
1740
02:00:18,000 --> 02:00:25,000
So that's what I'm trying to do in my head, which is the bullet point, not number 3 or 4, and then decision making.
1741
02:00:27,000 --> 02:00:32,000
I'm asking myself if maybe the question is the wrong question.
1742
02:00:32,000 --> 02:00:32,000
Mhmm.
1743
02:00:32,000 --> 02:00:34,000
Which is what you just defined.
1744
02:00:35,000 --> 02:00:38,000
Maybe we are on the right track and we just let it run.
1745
02:00:39,000 --> 02:00:53,000
I don't there's a side of me that doesn't like to I don't like to tell myself or become too the word English word, which is not a great word, cocky.
1746
02:00:54,000 --> 02:00:56,000
I don't want to be that person.
1747
02:00:56,000 --> 02:01:04,000
So to me, and maybe it's a poor definition, to feel that I absolutely have the answer sounds like an arrogance.
1748
02:01:05,000 --> 02:01:15,000
So by saying it the way I'm saying it, I'm trying I'm forcing myself using language to be open to hearing other thoughts.
1749
02:01:18,000 --> 02:01:35,000
It's very interesting because, most people would feel that when they're describing everything that they do and how they do well, maybe a little self conscious in that on that front.
1750
02:01:35,000 --> 02:01:35,000
You know?
1751
02:01:35,000 --> 02:01:51,000
But, I think that, what I'm hearing is that I'm just thinking, how does it really connect to a skill set that may be or may not be missing?
1752
02:01:51,000 --> 02:01:55,000
And to maybe it's a wrong question altogether, actually.
1753
02:01:56,000 --> 02:01:58,000
How far have you gotten in Paid to Think?
1754
02:02:00,000 --> 02:02:00,000
Two chapters.
1755
02:02:01,000 --> 02:02:01,000
Okay.
1756
02:02:01,000 --> 02:02:05,000
In those two chapters, there's a lot of rethinking everything.
1757
02:02:05,000 --> 02:02:07,000
I think what's the name the second chapter?
1758
02:02:07,000 --> 02:02:08,000
Is it called rethinking?
1759
02:02:08,000 --> 02:02:09,000
I don't even remember.
1760
02:02:12,000 --> 02:02:14,000
There's a lot of counterintuitiveness in there.
1761
02:02:16,000 --> 02:02:21,000
Now there's phrases that we use that we bite into and they just don't make any sense.
1762
02:02:22,000 --> 02:02:26,000
And that chapter is really redefining chapter.
1763
02:02:26,000 --> 02:02:33,000
It's making you rethink things to say, am I am I missing or I never looked at it that way.
1764
02:02:33,000 --> 02:02:41,000
So I've done a lot of that, and maybe I should not be looking in this one category and say that I am.
1765
02:02:42,000 --> 02:02:43,000
So I could say, no.
1766
02:02:43,000 --> 02:02:46,000
I'm on a good path and we're going this way.
1767
02:02:46,000 --> 02:02:47,000
And I think that it's good.
1768
02:02:49,000 --> 02:02:53,000
I don't I don't know how to accept that.
1769
02:02:55,000 --> 02:02:57,000
Well That's what's going through my mind.
1770
02:02:57,000 --> 02:02:57,000
Okay.
1771
02:02:57,000 --> 02:03:00,000
I don't because I'm looking at a may may you have 2 of them.
1772
02:03:00,000 --> 02:03:04,000
You have clear goal and making important decisions Mhmm.
1773
02:03:04,000 --> 02:03:06,000
Which is your next one after it.
1774
02:03:06,000 --> 02:03:06,000
Mhmm.
1775
02:03:06,000 --> 02:03:13,000
So I'm asking myself, is that a good macro tactic, which you'll get into chapter 3?
1776
02:03:13,000 --> 02:03:19,000
Is that a good acceptance that I should employ?
1777
02:03:19,000 --> 02:03:20,000
I don't know.
1778
02:03:20,000 --> 02:03:22,000
It's a I got a smile on my face.
1779
02:03:22,000 --> 02:03:23,000
I don't know.
1780
02:03:25,000 --> 02:03:32,000
You think that I I I I have a lot of questions all the time, and I I hope that those questions keep me young.
1781
02:03:32,000 --> 02:03:32,000
Mhmm.
1782
02:03:32,000 --> 02:03:33,000
I mean,
1783
02:03:33,000 --> 02:03:35,000
I had a I had a guy on a call today.
1784
02:03:35,000 --> 02:03:41,000
5th at one point, he was talking about having to give it up and passing the baton and his lifetime.
1785
02:03:41,000 --> 02:03:43,000
And I said, wait.
1786
02:03:43,000 --> 02:03:44,000
How old are you?
1787
02:03:44,000 --> 02:03:46,000
And he says, oh, I'm 57.
1788
02:03:47,000 --> 02:03:51,000
And he said it in a way that it was almost as if he was dead.
1789
02:03:52,000 --> 02:03:54,000
Like and I've I've said to people this all the time.
1790
02:03:54,000 --> 02:03:58,000
People live to 35 and they die at 70 or 80.
1791
02:03:59,000 --> 02:04:01,000
They once they get there, they don't transform.
1792
02:04:01,000 --> 02:04:02,000
And I unbelievable.
1793
02:04:03,000 --> 02:04:04,000
I'm thinking, oh my god.
1794
02:04:04,000 --> 02:04:07,000
If I thought that way, I would never get up in the morning.
1795
02:04:09,000 --> 02:04:10,000
So I don't know.
1796
02:04:11,000 --> 02:04:18,000
And I'm I'm not trying to I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass, and I'm not trying to use a swear, but I used to swear because that's what came to mind.
1797
02:04:18,000 --> 02:04:20,000
I'm not trying to be a pain.
1798
02:04:20,000 --> 02:04:26,000
I'm trying to figure out this thinking differently.
1799
02:04:26,000 --> 02:04:26,000
Right.
1800
02:04:26,000 --> 02:04:40,000
What what am I again, what am I missing in the construct of helping our team, helping our team, helping the individuals we work with to overcome what they might have that I might have.
1801
02:04:41,000 --> 02:04:47,000
Well and just a few minutes ago, you you I heard that it may be the wrong question.
1802
02:04:48,000 --> 02:04:49,000
Mhmm.
1803
02:04:49,000 --> 02:04:52,000
So what would be the right question that you want to ask yourself?
1804
02:04:57,000 --> 02:05:03,000
I don't like any of the answers that flew through my head, but they were things like just accept it, move on, and take it.
1805
02:05:03,000 --> 02:05:11,000
And I'm like, oh, that that that is just to me putting your concrete, cinder blocks around your feet.
1806
02:05:12,000 --> 02:05:12,000
There's the imagery.
1807
02:05:13,000 --> 02:05:13,000
Mhmm.
1808
02:05:13,000 --> 02:05:21,000
Just saying that you know the answer so convincingly, that would be putting concrete blocks.
1809
02:05:21,000 --> 02:05:29,000
I would I could say that maybe in this one space or the one challenge that I'm addressing, let it run.
1810
02:05:29,000 --> 02:05:30,000
It's working.
1811
02:05:31,000 --> 02:05:32,000
I could say that.
1812
02:05:34,000 --> 02:05:35,000
Would that change things?
1813
02:05:36,000 --> 02:05:36,000
Yeah.
1814
02:05:36,000 --> 02:05:38,000
It would definitely change things.
1815
02:05:38,000 --> 02:05:39,000
I mean, there's no doubt about it.
1816
02:05:40,000 --> 02:05:45,000
Do I feel comfortable as a goal to shift?
1817
02:05:46,000 --> 02:05:47,000
I don't know.
1818
02:05:47,000 --> 02:05:47,000
Mhmm.
1819
02:05:47,000 --> 02:05:50,000
I I'm I'm uneasy, I would say.
1820
02:05:50,000 --> 02:05:53,000
See see how I don't use the word s t?
1821
02:05:53,000 --> 02:05:53,000
Yeah.
1822
02:05:53,000 --> 02:05:54,000
I'm uneasy.
1823
02:05:54,000 --> 02:05:54,000
That's a better word.
1824
02:05:54,000 --> 02:05:55,000
Yeah.
1825
02:05:55,000 --> 02:06:02,000
I'm uneasy with that thought of complete acceptance of it.
1826
02:06:02,000 --> 02:06:16,000
So I have actually so, this is really good for our conversation because the goal, for instance, judging I mean, receiving what you just shared
1827
02:06:16,000 --> 02:06:16,000
Yeah.
1828
02:06:17,000 --> 02:06:18,000
Could be self acceptance.
1829
02:06:18,000 --> 02:06:25,000
A better self acceptance could be a clear goal could be a goal that we could be establishing, for instance.
1830
02:06:25,000 --> 02:06:25,000
Right?
1831
02:06:25,000 --> 02:06:30,000
And then, again, it goes all to the internal internal internal internal.
1832
02:06:30,000 --> 02:06:44,000
And then if you, so and what you were saying, let's let it run, and then you gotta change the, kind of metaphor that didn't make you feel good to a different metaphor that made you feel better, but still there's uncomfort.
1833
02:06:44,000 --> 02:06:46,000
There's a certain level of uneasiness.
1834
02:06:47,000 --> 02:06:53,000
I would say that, whenever we go through any change, and I know that you wrote about change as well.
1835
02:06:53,000 --> 02:06:53,000
Right?
1836
02:06:53,000 --> 02:06:59,000
Whenever we go through any change, it may be something that we're just not used to.
1837
02:06:59,000 --> 02:07:04,000
So we have to adjust to it, and it may not be comfortable even when it's a positive change.
1838
02:07:05,000 --> 02:07:07,000
Like, for instance, someone gets married.
1839
02:07:07,000 --> 02:07:07,000
Right?
1840
02:07:07,000 --> 02:07:09,000
You buy a new house.
1841
02:07:09,000 --> 02:07:13,000
It's a beautiful house, but you may not even get used to.
1842
02:07:13,000 --> 02:07:16,000
Like, I I live in a new house for 7 years.
1843
02:07:16,000 --> 02:07:20,000
I still trying to turn on the switch that doesn't exist on the wall.
1844
02:07:20,000 --> 02:07:21,000
Okay.
1845
02:07:21,000 --> 02:07:21,000
Right?
1846
02:07:22,000 --> 02:07:22,000
And Yeah.
1847
02:07:22,000 --> 02:07:25,000
It's like so we are creatures of habit.
1848
02:07:25,000 --> 02:07:32,000
And to break a habit and to get open to something else is also a sign of growth.
1849
02:07:33,000 --> 02:07:33,000
Right?
1850
02:07:33,000 --> 02:07:34,000
And so Yeah.
1851
02:07:34,000 --> 02:07:42,000
And, you, both of us, we pride ourselves on being able to keep growing despite of our age.
1852
02:07:43,000 --> 02:07:43,000
Right?
1853
02:07:44,000 --> 02:07:49,000
So as we keep growing, that's that's that's beautiful.
1854
02:07:49,000 --> 02:07:50,000
Right?
1855
02:07:50,000 --> 02:07:50,000
Yeah.
1856
02:07:52,000 --> 02:07:52,000
Yeah.
1857
02:07:52,000 --> 02:07:52,000
Yeah.
1858
02:07:52,000 --> 02:07:56,000
There's in paid to think, I I'm almost positive it's in there.
1859
02:07:56,000 --> 02:07:56,000
There's a lot.
1860
02:07:56,000 --> 02:07:59,000
There's a section on there's 4 types of change.
1861
02:08:00,000 --> 02:08:04,000
And when people say, people hate change, I say, no.
1862
02:08:04,000 --> 02:08:04,000
They don't.
1863
02:08:04,000 --> 02:08:05,000
And you just did it.
1864
02:08:05,000 --> 02:08:07,000
So there's 4 types of change.
1865
02:08:07,000 --> 02:08:12,000
There's negative and unexpected, and there's negative and expected.
1866
02:08:13,000 --> 02:08:14,000
Unexpected, you break your arm.
1867
02:08:14,000 --> 02:08:15,000
You break your leg.
1868
02:08:15,000 --> 02:08:16,000
You get a bad phone call.
1869
02:08:16,000 --> 02:08:17,000
They're negative and unexpected.
1870
02:08:17,000 --> 02:08:18,000
You don't like those.
1871
02:08:18,000 --> 02:08:21,000
You don't like you don't like negative and expected.
1872
02:08:21,000 --> 02:08:22,000
They'll do at the end of the month.
1873
02:08:22,000 --> 02:08:24,000
You're gonna have to meet somebody.
1874
02:08:24,000 --> 02:08:26,000
You have to go visit your in laws or whatever it may be.
1875
02:08:27,000 --> 02:08:30,000
But there's positive change that is, expected.
1876
02:08:31,000 --> 02:08:33,000
I'm gonna get my paycheck at the end of the month.
1877
02:08:33,000 --> 02:08:34,000
We're going on holiday.
1878
02:08:34,000 --> 02:08:37,000
But there's unexpected, positive, and unexpected.
1879
02:08:37,000 --> 02:08:37,000
Hey.
1880
02:08:37,000 --> 02:08:38,000
I won the lottery.
1881
02:08:39,000 --> 02:08:42,000
Or, you know, there's a, it's a girl.
1882
02:08:42,000 --> 02:08:44,000
Or they're getting married.
1883
02:08:44,000 --> 02:08:46,000
All of those things.
1884
02:08:47,000 --> 02:08:48,000
People do love change.
1885
02:08:48,000 --> 02:09:00,000
The challenge with leadership is in business, most change in most corporations for the average individual or in leadership is negative or negative and unexpected, not positive.
1886
02:09:00,000 --> 02:09:01,000
Positive and expected.
1887
02:09:01,000 --> 02:09:07,000
And if leaders could change it, is it upside down in solving the, the so, yes, it's in the book.
1888
02:09:07,000 --> 02:09:11,000
I you have a different version of it so the page won't work.
1889
02:09:11,000 --> 02:09:13,000
It's upside down in solving the dilemma.
1890
02:09:14,000 --> 02:09:17,000
So in the sense of, can I accept this?
1891
02:09:17,000 --> 02:09:21,000
Oh, I got things running up my spine.
1892
02:09:21,000 --> 02:09:26,000
So how do you then take and I'm talking you, not coaching.
1893
02:09:26,000 --> 02:09:29,000
How do you make an important decision?
1894
02:09:30,000 --> 02:09:31,000
How do you do it?
1895
02:09:31,000 --> 02:09:32,000
Yeah.
1896
02:09:32,000 --> 02:09:34,000
There are so many different ways.
1897
02:09:35,000 --> 02:09:38,000
My favorite way, is to use my why.
1898
02:09:39,000 --> 02:09:40,000
So my why
1899
02:09:40,000 --> 02:09:42,000
My why like w h y?
1900
02:09:42,000 --> 02:09:43,000
Yes.
1901
02:09:43,000 --> 02:09:43,000
So Okay.
1902
02:09:44,000 --> 02:09:45,000
Your purpose.
1903
02:09:45,000 --> 02:09:45,000
Right?
1904
02:09:46,000 --> 02:09:48,000
Why are you on this planet?
1905
02:09:49,000 --> 02:09:52,000
And it took me a while to understand what it is.
1906
02:09:52,000 --> 02:10:00,000
And I think that it's an extremely useful exercise, to make that clear to yourself.
1907
02:10:00,000 --> 02:10:03,000
It doesn't matter if other people understand that sentence.
1908
02:10:03,000 --> 02:10:03,000
Right?
1909
02:10:03,000 --> 02:10:05,000
It's just it's important that you do.
1910
02:10:06,000 --> 02:10:23,000
And I think that, when I look at it, whatever decision that I have from the perspective of my why, whatever decision, even when they put in support and decision, it just doesn't it kinda puts it in perspective.
1911
02:10:24,000 --> 02:10:24,000
Right?
1912
02:10:24,000 --> 02:10:28,000
Because my why is always bigger than any decisions I have to make.
1913
02:10:29,000 --> 02:10:37,000
And it just allows me to look at it from, like a to have, like, a mountain view, a bird eye view
1914
02:10:38,000 --> 02:10:38,000
Yeah.
1915
02:10:39,000 --> 02:10:41,000
To You had to bring up the mountain, mountain.
1916
02:10:41,000 --> 02:10:41,000
Didn't you?
1917
02:10:41,000 --> 02:10:42,000
You had to bring up a mountain.
1918
02:10:42,000 --> 02:10:43,000
In my head.
1919
02:10:43,000 --> 02:10:44,000
We got mountains.
1920
02:10:44,000 --> 02:10:49,000
I have mountains and peaks and whatever.
1921
02:10:49,000 --> 02:10:50,000
And valleys and yes.
1922
02:10:51,000 --> 02:10:51,000
Okay.
1923
02:10:52,000 --> 02:11:00,000
And so, that's that's my I think it's and it's, but it doesn't always work, but it works 90% of the time.
1924
02:11:00,000 --> 02:11:02,000
So has your why changed?
1925
02:11:02,000 --> 02:11:03,000
No.
1926
02:11:03,000 --> 02:11:05,000
My Oh, really?
1927
02:11:07,000 --> 02:11:07,000
Wow.
1928
02:11:08,000 --> 02:11:08,000
Yeah.
1929
02:11:08,000 --> 02:11:11,000
People, you know, again, so I wrote a book it.
1930
02:11:11,000 --> 02:11:11,000
Right?
1931
02:11:11,000 --> 02:11:13,000
So I co wrote a book about it.
1932
02:11:13,000 --> 02:11:14,000
So, I I don't think that we should,
1933
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:14,000
like, kinda switch to different topic altogether.
1934
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:14,000
You know?
1935
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:14,000
But
1936
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:30,000
I think that, your purpose is just one purpose, but just people misunderstand it a lot of times, in terms of how they fulfill it.
1937
02:11:30,000 --> 02:11:33,000
Like, so how what you do can change.
1938
02:11:35,000 --> 02:11:41,000
Even, what you like, and how you like to do it can change.
1939
02:11:42,000 --> 02:11:50,000
But your underlying main purpose is not gonna change if you identify it truthfully and genuinely.
1940
02:11:52,000 --> 02:11:55,000
Another interesting one, I'll give you an example and you tell me what you think.
1941
02:11:55,000 --> 02:12:03,000
There's an individual that I one of my best friends that I had while I was in Hong Kong, one of the first friends I had in Hong Kong.
1942
02:12:04,000 --> 02:12:08,000
And this person did not want to have children.
1943
02:12:09,000 --> 02:12:10,000
Not at all.
1944
02:12:11,000 --> 02:12:15,000
And very interested in business and having fun and living life.
1945
02:12:15,000 --> 02:12:19,000
And at one point, being married, she got pregnant.
1946
02:12:20,000 --> 02:12:21,000
And that kid came.
1947
02:12:23,000 --> 02:12:24,000
That was the end.
1948
02:12:25,000 --> 02:12:37,000
Everything that she had espoused to, for entire time knowing her, years in a heartbeat, everything went to this person, this little baby.
1949
02:12:37,000 --> 02:12:41,000
And her why changed.
1950
02:12:42,000 --> 02:12:48,000
People who've lived through, natural disasters, their wise change.
1951
02:12:49,000 --> 02:13:00,000
People who live through, well, wars, conflicts, financial ruin, divorces, their wise change.
1952
02:13:02,000 --> 02:13:02,000
Yours doesn't.
1953
02:13:02,000 --> 02:13:05,000
Can you explain that, what that means?
1954
02:13:05,000 --> 02:13:06,000
And when you hear this,
1955
02:13:07,000 --> 02:13:09,000
why is your life purpose?
1956
02:13:09,000 --> 02:13:11,000
It's your philosophy of life.
1957
02:13:11,000 --> 02:13:13,000
Your why doesn't really change.
1958
02:13:14,000 --> 02:13:22,000
Tragic occurrences may shake your belief in people, may shake your belief in yourself and your future.
1959
02:13:24,000 --> 02:13:33,000
It may not it would make you like not want to live your way because living your way takes courage and determination and energy.
1960
02:13:34,000 --> 02:13:45,000
So it may kinda completely kinda kill all of the desire to even move forward, all motivation, but it doesn't change, your why, actually.
1961
02:13:46,000 --> 02:13:48,000
So can you give me examples of whys?
1962
02:13:50,000 --> 02:13:56,000
You could use yourself or you could use somebody else without you know, I mean, you're not gonna give a name, so I'm not afraid of that.
1963
02:13:56,000 --> 02:13:58,000
But can you give me examples of whys?
1964
02:13:59,000 --> 02:14:00,000
Sure.
1965
02:14:01,000 --> 02:14:03,000
But, I mean okay.
1966
02:14:04,000 --> 02:14:07,000
It's just that we're talking again about so many different things.
1967
02:14:07,000 --> 02:14:08,000
Well, we're talking about decision making.
1968
02:14:08,000 --> 02:14:08,000
Yeah.
1969
02:14:08,000 --> 02:14:08,000
Well
1970
02:14:09,000 --> 02:14:10,000
And we're talking about goals.
1971
02:14:10,000 --> 02:14:10,000
Right?
1972
02:14:10,000 --> 02:14:10,000
You know
1973
02:14:10,000 --> 02:14:14,000
You're talking about decision making and goals, and you say that your why is important
1974
02:14:14,000 --> 02:14:15,000
Yes.
1975
02:14:15,000 --> 02:14:15,000
It
1976
02:14:15,000 --> 02:14:18,000
then it ties to decision making.
1977
02:14:18,000 --> 02:14:19,000
Correct?
1978
02:14:19,000 --> 02:14:20,000
Every decision you
1979
02:14:20,000 --> 02:14:21,000
make is basically why.
1980
02:14:21,000 --> 02:14:23,000
Why is very private.
1981
02:14:23,000 --> 02:14:24,000
You know, it's very personal.
1982
02:14:24,000 --> 02:14:28,000
And so there's a whole, like, science of how to get to it.
1983
02:14:28,000 --> 02:14:35,000
So, like, for instance, mine, again, I can share mine is my why.
1984
02:14:37,000 --> 02:14:38,000
Yeah.
1985
02:14:42,000 --> 02:14:51,000
My why is that, I believe that the best in me brings out the belief, I'm sorry, brings out the best in in others.
1986
02:14:51,000 --> 02:14:52,000
Right?
1987
02:14:52,000 --> 02:14:55,000
So the best in me brings out the best in others.
1988
02:14:56,000 --> 02:15:01,000
And, of course, like, I can explain that, but I don't have to because it's my why.
1989
02:15:01,000 --> 02:15:01,000
Do you know what I mean?
1990
02:15:01,000 --> 02:15:02,000
Yeah.
1991
02:15:02,000 --> 02:15:02,000
No.
1992
02:15:02,000 --> 02:15:03,000
I understand that.
1993
02:15:03,000 --> 02:15:06,000
I I I'm I'm now understanding how you're defining whys.
1994
02:15:08,000 --> 02:15:09,000
Yeah.
1995
02:15:09,000 --> 02:15:10,000
Okay.
1996
02:15:10,000 --> 02:15:12,000
I can bring you someone else's.
1997
02:15:12,000 --> 02:15:12,000
Yeah.
1998
02:15:12,000 --> 02:15:12,000
Some others.
1999
02:15:12,000 --> 02:15:13,000
Yeah.
2000
02:15:13,000 --> 02:15:13,000
That'd be interesting.
2001
02:15:14,000 --> 02:15:16,000
Let me find, find them.
2002
02:15:17,000 --> 02:15:17,000
Yep.
2003
02:15:17,000 --> 02:15:17,000
I know.
2004
02:15:17,000 --> 02:15:18,000
I can hear you typing.
2005
02:15:18,000 --> 02:15:21,000
I'm just trying to because I can't.
2006
02:15:21,000 --> 02:15:22,000
I'm sorry if you
2007
02:15:22,000 --> 02:15:23,000
No.
2008
02:15:23,000 --> 02:15:23,000
No.
2009
02:15:23,000 --> 02:15:24,000
You're do you're doing fine.
2010
02:15:24,000 --> 02:15:28,000
I, I know this is not happening.
2011
02:15:28,000 --> 02:15:30,000
I don't remember other people's whys.
2012
02:15:30,000 --> 02:15:31,000
That's okay.
2013
02:15:31,000 --> 02:15:32,000
That's okay.
2014
02:15:32,000 --> 02:15:36,000
You you've written them down because you wrote a book on it, so you're pulling things up to say these are some of the whys that people have.
2015
02:15:36,000 --> 02:15:40,000
And that's fantastic because you're saying make an important decision.
2016
02:15:40,000 --> 02:15:42,000
Well and it ties to your why.
2017
02:15:42,000 --> 02:15:42,000
Yeah.
2018
02:15:43,000 --> 02:15:45,000
So we have to know what a why is defined as.
2019
02:15:46,000 --> 02:15:47,000
And so this is perfect.
2020
02:15:47,000 --> 02:15:49,000
So here's another why.
2021
02:15:49,000 --> 02:15:54,000
I believe reality is created the moment we acknowledge and act on what matters most.
2022
02:15:57,000 --> 02:15:58,000
That's it.
2023
02:16:01,000 --> 02:16:02,000
That's why.
2024
02:16:02,000 --> 02:16:03,000
Right?
2025
02:16:03,000 --> 02:16:05,000
So I hope you're getting the gist of it.
2026
02:16:05,000 --> 02:16:12,000
You know, that that's interesting because I had not defined the why in as broader brush.
2027
02:16:12,000 --> 02:16:23,000
So you're defining why that isn't it it there's no specific it's not a specificity in the way that I thought you would have defined it.
2028
02:16:24,000 --> 02:16:32,000
It's a just a, a life a life spirit.
2029
02:16:32,000 --> 02:16:34,000
I don't know if that's the way to say it.
2030
02:16:34,000 --> 02:16:34,000
You're getting it.
2031
02:16:34,000 --> 02:16:34,000
Yes.
2032
02:16:34,000 --> 02:16:35,000
In the why.
2033
02:16:35,000 --> 02:16:36,000
Mhmm.
2034
02:16:36,000 --> 02:16:39,000
And you're saying that that has never changed for you.
2035
02:16:39,000 --> 02:16:39,000
Mm-mm.
2036
02:16:40,000 --> 02:16:51,000
So I think that people sometimes don't realize, it's actually it's not so easy to to to genuinely come up with a a why because it shouldn't be more than one sentence.
2037
02:16:52,000 --> 02:17:05,000
And there's just so much to each individual, right, that it's almost it feels almost, like, impossible to put in one sentence, but it's truly an essence of who you are.
2038
02:17:08,000 --> 02:17:14,000
The if you remember in the redefining, redefining is bringing it down to one sentence.
2039
02:17:15,000 --> 02:17:23,000
So if you remember, I I think I put on the board in Dubai, I think there was a big thing of one person who's went on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
2040
02:17:24,000 --> 02:17:26,000
And so you there's no clarity in it.
2041
02:17:26,000 --> 02:17:30,000
So, yes, the one sentence brings the clarity to it.
2042
02:17:31,000 --> 02:17:33,000
When did you come up with yours?
2043
02:17:33,000 --> 02:17:34,000
Do you know?
2044
02:17:34,000 --> 02:17:36,000
Not that long ago, but, I don't know.
2045
02:17:36,000 --> 02:17:38,000
7, 8 about 7, 8 years ago.
2046
02:17:39,000 --> 02:17:39,000
Okay.
2047
02:17:41,000 --> 02:17:46,000
I mean, it's always there, but it's just I never really even thought that I needed to define it in any way.
2048
02:17:46,000 --> 02:17:51,000
Like, I just because people kind of feel it speaking about imagery, people feel it.
2049
02:17:51,000 --> 02:17:52,000
Mhmm.
2050
02:17:53,000 --> 02:17:56,000
It's and it's like in your undercurrent.
2051
02:17:56,000 --> 02:17:57,000
It's it's there.
2052
02:17:57,000 --> 02:17:59,000
It's there because it's you.
2053
02:17:59,000 --> 02:18:00,000
It's you.
2054
02:18:01,000 --> 02:18:10,000
But very few of us take the time and energy to actually craft it into a sentence and to understand.
2055
02:18:10,000 --> 02:18:17,000
But it just really I think it's an amazing tool for self understanding and then for self realization, also for making decisions.
2056
02:18:20,000 --> 02:18:20,000
Yeah.
2057
02:18:20,000 --> 02:18:23,000
So I'm gonna take it, and I'm gonna turn it into a tool.
2058
02:18:25,000 --> 02:18:25,000
Well, no.
2059
02:18:25,000 --> 02:18:36,000
Because that's going back to reshaping tomorrow and thinking differently that if in fact you can get individuals to get to, there's a question.
2060
02:18:36,000 --> 02:18:37,000
Why are you doing this?
2061
02:18:38,000 --> 02:18:41,000
And in Project Moon, we actually have why are we doing this.
2062
02:18:41,000 --> 02:18:42,000
Mhmm.
2063
02:18:42,000 --> 02:18:44,000
We we've got it defined.
2064
02:18:44,000 --> 02:18:46,000
It's very clear why we're doing it.
2065
02:18:47,000 --> 02:18:47,000
Right.
2066
02:18:47,000 --> 02:18:50,000
And how we're approaching it is very counterintuitive.
2067
02:18:51,000 --> 02:19:10,000
But if individuals could be asked the question of why, on a personal level, they do what they do, not even their engagement in whatever they're doing or why do they do what they do, You can that is a cascading domino, a bunch of other words that could be used.
2068
02:19:10,000 --> 02:19:14,000
I can't find them means by which to reshape tomorrow.
2069
02:19:14,000 --> 02:19:15,000
Mhmm.
2070
02:19:16,000 --> 02:19:26,000
So if they can get to that, then they can take but working backwards, they could decide if the decisions they're making are in line.
2071
02:19:26,000 --> 02:19:31,000
It could decide if their goals fulfill that application.
2072
02:19:31,000 --> 02:19:41,000
They can determine if their images meet their why, and then they can reshape the images and their imagination, I think, in they use it.
2073
02:19:42,000 --> 02:19:46,000
Imagination to determine if inside of them they're playing the right music.
2074
02:19:47,000 --> 02:19:48,000
Yeah.
2075
02:19:49,000 --> 02:20:00,000
And so if so going back to creating a goal and why I fell in love with coaching, by the way, speaking about coaching.
2076
02:20:00,000 --> 02:20:00,000
Yeah.
2077
02:20:02,000 --> 02:20:14,000
That one sentence practice is one of the techniques that we use to identify a clear goal for each coaching session.
2078
02:20:14,000 --> 02:20:27,000
So not only for overall, vision, overall engagement, but what do you want that we can do together within 30, 40 minutes or an hour?
2079
02:20:27,000 --> 02:20:27,000
Right?
2080
02:20:28,000 --> 02:20:31,000
And so, again, I'm not bringing it back to coaching.
2081
02:20:31,000 --> 02:20:31,000
No.
2082
02:20:31,000 --> 02:20:38,000
I know you're describing why it fits who you're describing why it fits you and your methodology for reshaping tomorrow.
2083
02:20:38,000 --> 02:20:39,000
So I understand.
2084
02:20:39,000 --> 02:20:39,000
Right.
2085
02:20:39,000 --> 02:20:40,000
So yeah.
2086
02:20:40,000 --> 02:20:40,000
That's perfect.
2087
02:20:40,000 --> 02:20:52,000
If you were to speak to yourself because we're talking about asking questions and applying these tools, if you were to ask yourself, like even because before, without the goal, we can't make a decision.
2088
02:20:52,000 --> 02:20:55,000
There's what because there's nothing to make decision on.
2089
02:20:55,000 --> 02:20:55,000
Right?
2090
02:20:56,000 --> 02:21:03,000
And so if you have a goal and now if you let's say the goal is acceptance and self acceptance from what we were talking about before.
2091
02:21:04,000 --> 02:21:05,000
And now I just wanna let it run.
2092
02:21:05,000 --> 02:21:07,000
I just wanna let it run.
2093
02:21:07,000 --> 02:21:11,000
And your reactions to I wanna let it run was like, oh my god.
2094
02:21:11,000 --> 02:21:12,000
Am I ready for this?
2095
02:21:13,000 --> 02:21:22,000
And, like, this kind of, excitement, mixed with, with other feelings that I was, listening even through your voice without seeing your face.
2096
02:21:23,000 --> 02:21:38,000
And so then the next question to ask is, you know, how your decisions are going to be informed differently from that position of allowing it just run?
2097
02:21:41,000 --> 02:21:43,000
It's a bad example, but it's a good example.
2098
02:21:43,000 --> 02:21:43,000
Okay.
2099
02:21:44,000 --> 02:21:45,000
And I'm gonna give it to you.
2100
02:21:45,000 --> 02:21:48,000
And the reason I say it is one of the individuals has got a lot of challenges.
2101
02:21:48,000 --> 02:21:59,000
But Bill Cosby, that's the guy who has the challenges, Bill Cosby was sitting and I and I say that in a way that I know prison and the things that he did are extremely bad.
2102
02:22:00,000 --> 02:22:09,000
Bill Cosby was sitting next to Jerry Seinfeld at a bar, not a bar at a at a bar, a physical bar, could have been in a hotel bar or something, and they were talking.
2103
02:22:10,000 --> 02:22:17,000
And at one point, Bill looked at Jerry and said, you can relax.
2104
02:22:18,000 --> 02:22:19,000
You've made it.
2105
02:22:21,000 --> 02:22:25,000
Now Jerry was at the top of his career and still driving.
2106
02:22:27,000 --> 02:22:32,000
And he said, no matter what anybody else had said, it didn't make a difference.
2107
02:22:32,000 --> 02:22:36,000
But when Bill Cosby said to him, you can relax.
2108
02:22:36,000 --> 02:22:36,000
You've made it.
2109
02:22:36,000 --> 02:22:41,000
It was the first time in his career that he relaxed.
2110
02:22:44,000 --> 02:22:53,000
So the decision, the way you're saying it, That's a that was advice, by the way.
2111
02:22:53,000 --> 02:22:54,000
He's saying you can relax.
2112
02:22:54,000 --> 02:22:55,000
That is advice.
2113
02:22:58,000 --> 02:23:10,000
I'm now asking the question because for me, I've got asked the question is, am I not have if you met me 10 years ago, I'm not the same person I am today, period.
2114
02:23:11,000 --> 02:23:11,000
End stop.
2115
02:23:13,000 --> 02:23:18,000
Am I not allowing that to happen is kind of what I'm asking.
2116
02:23:19,000 --> 02:23:20,000
That long
2117
02:23:20,000 --> 02:23:20,000
Have I
2118
02:23:20,000 --> 02:23:21,000
to happen?
2119
02:23:21,000 --> 02:23:22,000
You'll not
2120
02:23:22,000 --> 02:23:28,000
The the acceptance of certain things are going the way they should.
2121
02:23:28,000 --> 02:23:36,000
Like, am I not am I have am I not saying to myself, you are on the right path often enough?
2122
02:23:36,000 --> 02:23:45,000
Not that I have to say it a 100 a 100% of the time, maybe 62 instead of 57, but maybe there are more times.
2123
02:23:45,000 --> 02:23:56,000
And I think individuals in general, human nature, is drivers, builders, creators, I would say anybody, a mom, a dad, a everybody has challenges.
2124
02:23:57,000 --> 02:24:04,000
Are is there a time that you can let go of certain things maybe earlier than when you became older?
2125
02:24:04,000 --> 02:24:09,000
And I think that you probably have met a lot of older people who said if I wish I knew what I knew now then.
2126
02:24:10,000 --> 02:24:10,000
Mhmm.
2127
02:24:10,000 --> 02:24:13,000
And the fact that you just came up with yours about 7 years ago Mhmm.
2128
02:24:14,000 --> 02:24:17,000
Is an example of it, what you just described.
2129
02:24:17,000 --> 02:24:25,000
You got to a point, and now you're, oh, now I know why I did the things I did.
2130
02:24:25,000 --> 02:24:26,000
There's a clarity.
2131
02:24:26,000 --> 02:24:35,000
So I'm I'm asking the same question as maybe maybe I I need to say to myself more often, give myself a little bit more of a break.
2132
02:24:35,000 --> 02:24:38,000
Give me and I I don't wanna call a Cosby moment.
2133
02:24:39,000 --> 02:24:49,000
But am I not allowing what I say to myself or others say to me to sink in because I'm driving?
2134
02:24:51,000 --> 02:24:53,000
I I'm focused on moving.
2135
02:24:54,000 --> 02:24:58,000
Does that make sense, the kind of way I twisted it?
2136
02:24:58,000 --> 02:24:58,000
Yeah.
2137
02:24:58,000 --> 02:25:01,000
And so how are you processing that now?
2138
02:25:02,000 --> 02:25:15,000
You know, I I know it I've I've met too many people who are who who could be great people who fell in love with themselves.
2139
02:25:16,000 --> 02:25:23,000
And I've always had a fear of becoming a person that I don't even like myself, that others don't like.
2140
02:25:23,000 --> 02:25:24,000
Not because I need to be loved.
2141
02:25:25,000 --> 02:25:26,000
People don't like me.
2142
02:25:26,000 --> 02:25:29,000
And I the way I I do the math is there's 8,000,000,000 people in the planet.
2143
02:25:29,000 --> 02:25:31,000
Half the people don't can like me and the other half don't.
2144
02:25:31,000 --> 02:25:32,000
I'm good with 4,000,000,000.
2145
02:25:33,000 --> 02:25:34,000
I'm gonna stick with that number.
2146
02:25:34,000 --> 02:25:37,000
So I'm I'm good with the the math in that regard.
2147
02:25:37,000 --> 02:25:45,000
But I'm I'm a little bit more comfortable with the fact that maybe my meter, wherever it's marked, I don't have a gauge.
2148
02:25:46,000 --> 02:26:04,000
Wherever that meter is, I have to become another accepting of the fact that it is what it is working and that the confidence that I do have can allow myself to let go of certain things and make others work, which I have probably not probably it's a definite.
2149
02:26:04,000 --> 02:26:13,000
I have not allowed that to come in because I want to make I want to be the person that I I believe I can be.
2150
02:26:14,000 --> 02:26:19,000
So maybe I need to let go of that and grab something else.
2151
02:26:19,000 --> 02:26:22,000
And there's a saying that I I think it's in pain to think.
2152
02:26:23,000 --> 02:26:24,000
I have a bunch of sayings.
2153
02:26:24,000 --> 02:26:29,000
You can't get to the other side of the pool if you continue to hold on to the rails.
2154
02:26:29,000 --> 02:26:30,000
Mhmm.
2155
02:26:31,000 --> 02:26:31,000
Yeah.
2156
02:26:31,000 --> 02:26:35,000
So I I that that I have another one that, you know, those type of things I give all the time.
2157
02:26:35,000 --> 02:26:43,000
So in my own sense, I'm telling it to myself because the quotes are for me, you can't get to the other side of the pool if you don't let go of the rail, and maybe there's a rail here.
2158
02:26:43,000 --> 02:26:54,000
So bringing it back to decision making, I would say, which is also in the 5 the the whys that are in, or the definitions of redefining.
2159
02:26:54,000 --> 02:26:56,000
You'll see it you'll see it in the next chapter.
2160
02:26:56,000 --> 02:26:59,000
You'll see a lot of things we're talking about in the next chapter.
2161
02:26:59,000 --> 02:27:01,000
We call them desired outcomes.
2162
02:27:01,000 --> 02:27:02,000
There's whys.
2163
02:27:02,000 --> 02:27:03,000
There's the redefining.
2164
02:27:04,000 --> 02:27:10,000
I think that that's an interesting way of redefining the decision making process.
2165
02:27:10,000 --> 02:27:12,000
But I think the why is a part of it.
2166
02:27:12,000 --> 02:27:27,000
I think the way you're defining it is what is my why needs to be in parallel processed from 1 through 4 in our outline before you can get to the the decision.
2167
02:27:28,000 --> 02:27:29,000
Right.
2168
02:27:29,000 --> 02:27:38,000
Well, you know, I mean, speaking about why, it's a real it's a it's a tedious process to kinda hone it down to what it means.
2169
02:27:38,000 --> 02:27:49,000
And so, like, if anyone is interested to get to the actual process, like, the book is literally, self coaching guide, you know, the book that I co wrote.
2170
02:27:49,000 --> 02:27:50,000
So What
2171
02:27:50,000 --> 02:27:51,000
what's his what's the book's name?
2172
02:27:51,000 --> 02:27:56,000
So the book is called Me, My Brand, and Why.
2173
02:27:57,000 --> 02:27:58,000
Okay.
2174
02:27:58,000 --> 02:28:00,000
It's, okay.
2175
02:28:00,000 --> 02:28:02,000
So we got it out there.
2176
02:28:02,000 --> 02:28:08,000
The how do you take that in you for you or for friends, relatives, your family?
2177
02:28:08,000 --> 02:28:09,000
Because it's gotta work everywhere.
2178
02:28:09,000 --> 02:28:11,000
Ubiquitousness is important.
2179
02:28:11,000 --> 02:28:13,000
How do you take that to a blueprint?
2180
02:28:14,000 --> 02:28:17,000
I mean, I I always start with me if you hear me say it.
2181
02:28:17,000 --> 02:28:18,000
I always start with me.
2182
02:28:18,000 --> 02:28:20,000
Like, how would I do it?
2183
02:28:20,000 --> 02:28:25,000
And then I I don't know about you, but I've been in many environments where people come in and they give advice, and I say, okay.
2184
02:28:25,000 --> 02:28:26,000
Let's do it.
2185
02:28:26,000 --> 02:28:27,000
And they say, what do you mean?
2186
02:28:27,000 --> 02:28:29,000
I said, you just told me how to do it.
2187
02:28:29,000 --> 02:28:31,000
You've just told us you're gonna charge all this money.
2188
02:28:31,000 --> 02:28:32,000
Let's do
2189
02:28:32,000 --> 02:28:32,000
it together.
2190
02:28:32,000 --> 02:28:33,000
Right.
2191
02:28:33,000 --> 02:28:36,000
And I can't tell you how many major corporations have give pitches.
2192
02:28:36,000 --> 02:28:40,000
People who in high level and I've said, well, let's follow exactly what you've taught us.
2193
02:28:40,000 --> 02:28:41,000
And they say, what do you mean?
2194
02:28:41,000 --> 02:28:43,000
I said, well, we'll pay you for it.
2195
02:28:43,000 --> 02:28:43,000
Mhmm.
2196
02:28:43,000 --> 02:28:44,000
And they don't know how.
2197
02:28:45,000 --> 02:28:53,000
So I'm actually asking the question, how would you or how would you advise someone you cared or loved to take those decisions and move them to a blueprint?
2198
02:28:54,000 --> 02:29:10,000
Well so, like, for instance, you like, right now, you were saying, well, I could just let things be the way they are, or I could accept different reality and let things run.
2199
02:29:11,000 --> 02:29:11,000
Right?
2200
02:29:11,000 --> 02:29:30,000
And and so with that, I could have asked you, like, literally, to, you know, to imagine 2 different futures with 2 different choices.
2201
02:29:31,000 --> 02:29:39,000
So, like, let's say if you take yourself into the future, you pick what interval, how many years ahead you want.
2202
02:29:39,000 --> 02:29:57,000
And if you if you were to pick the future, that is a result of, you doing what you've been doing so far and, you know, moving all of these mountains and and whatever whatever however you were describing it.
2203
02:29:57,000 --> 02:29:58,000
You love that, don't you?
2204
02:29:58,000 --> 02:29:58,000
Yes.
2205
02:29:58,000 --> 02:29:59,000
I do.
2206
02:30:00,000 --> 02:30:05,000
Well, you know, because I also love the another metaphor that you said that you like orchestrating.
2207
02:30:05,000 --> 02:30:06,000
So,
2208
02:30:06,000 --> 02:30:06,000
being a musician myself, orchestrating is also another thing that I kinda relate relate.
2209
02:30:06,000 --> 02:30:07,000
Yeah.
2210
02:30:07,000 --> 02:30:09,000
But, Yeah.
2211
02:30:09,000 --> 02:30:12,000
But, but yeah.
2212
02:30:12,000 --> 02:30:24,000
So when you were saying to, if you were to imagine that future and, like like, let's just take one one at a time.
2213
02:30:24,000 --> 02:30:25,000
If you were to imagine Yeah.
2214
02:30:26,000 --> 02:30:27,000
Like, you didn't change anything.
2215
02:30:28,000 --> 02:30:32,000
And, what interval are you thinking about in terms of years?
2216
02:30:33,000 --> 02:30:34,000
What kind?
2217
02:30:34,000 --> 02:30:37,000
It's I have 2 in mind, 10:30, which come to mind.
2218
02:30:37,000 --> 02:30:40,000
My mind tends to give me 2 two numbers all the time no matter what.
2219
02:30:40,000 --> 02:30:41,000
So 10:30.
2220
02:30:41,000 --> 02:30:55,000
Well, let's look at so it's a 10:30 for just taking the case that, the attitude is the same, and nothing was done differently.
2221
02:30:55,000 --> 02:30:55,000
Right?
2222
02:30:55,000 --> 02:30:55,000
You know?
2223
02:30:55,000 --> 02:30:57,000
So what what do you see?
2224
02:30:57,000 --> 02:31:30,000
And if you could just, like, take yourself to that 10 year span and feel as much as you possibly can in that body, seeing things around yourself, realizing who is around you, how people are treating you, how you're treating other people, how they're treating each other, what's happening with the business, how how what how, it impacted strategies and systems or whatever else that's in place for your business and for you personally.
2225
02:31:31,000 --> 02:31:34,000
Just look at all of it and embody it.
2226
02:31:34,000 --> 02:31:37,000
Like, this is happening for real right now.
2227
02:31:37,000 --> 02:31:38,000
Mhmm.
2228
02:31:38,000 --> 02:31:41,000
I'm just gonna try to digest it.
2229
02:31:41,000 --> 02:31:42,000
It happens in seconds.
2230
02:31:42,000 --> 02:31:47,000
It doesn't even take more than it's a it's a so I was letting you go through the exercise Right.
2231
02:31:47,000 --> 02:31:49,000
Of sharing those points.
2232
02:31:49,000 --> 02:31:57,000
Oh, immediately, it was it would it would work, yet it would be harder, and it didn't need to be.
2233
02:31:57,000 --> 02:31:58,000
Well, great.
2234
02:31:58,000 --> 02:32:01,000
So do you need to go to the 30 year span, or are you good?
2235
02:32:02,000 --> 02:32:02,000
No.
2236
02:32:02,000 --> 02:32:03,000
I did both.
2237
02:32:03,000 --> 02:32:03,000
I did both.
2238
02:32:03,000 --> 02:32:04,000
That was amazing.
2239
02:32:04,000 --> 02:32:05,000
I I yeah.
2240
02:32:05,000 --> 02:32:05,000
No.
2241
02:32:05,000 --> 02:32:06,000
I I yeah.
2242
02:32:06,000 --> 02:32:09,000
It's just it's instantaneous because I direct we have plans.
2243
02:32:09,000 --> 02:32:14,000
I mean, when people say they've got a 10 year plan or a 30 year plan, I say, let me see it.
2244
02:32:14,000 --> 02:32:16,000
And they'll say, well, I just told it to you.
2245
02:32:16,000 --> 02:32:17,000
So that's not a plan.
2246
02:32:17,000 --> 02:32:18,000
That's an idea.
2247
02:32:18,000 --> 02:32:18,000
Right.
2248
02:32:18,000 --> 02:32:21,000
And individuals don't know the differences.
2249
02:32:21,000 --> 02:32:23,000
It's amazing between a plan and an idea.
2250
02:32:23,000 --> 02:32:26,000
And I get tons of people saying, well, that's the plan.
2251
02:32:26,000 --> 02:32:28,000
And I say, that's not a plan.
2252
02:32:28,000 --> 02:32:34,000
You just just you you spend 4 minutes or 20 minutes describing what you're thinking about, but a plan would be something more concrete.
2253
02:32:34,000 --> 02:32:39,000
And so in 3rd in a few seconds, I realized this and I wrote down because I'm writing as I shared.
2254
02:32:40,000 --> 02:32:46,000
I said, it's gonna be hard we're gonna get there, but it's gonna be harder and more work than it needs to be.
2255
02:32:46,000 --> 02:32:47,000
Right.
2256
02:32:48,000 --> 02:32:49,000
And
2257
02:32:49,000 --> 02:32:53,000
then when I went to what if I made the change, the simple change, we're only talking one category.
2258
02:32:54,000 --> 02:33:02,000
The category of how do I improve my performance so I can help reshape tomorrow with the work that we're working on.
2259
02:33:02,000 --> 02:33:07,000
Immediately, I said to myself it's very simple, but I gotta say it.
2260
02:33:07,000 --> 02:33:08,000
I said, you're a fucking idiot, David.
2261
02:33:10,000 --> 02:33:12,000
That's exactly what I said to myself.
2262
02:33:12,000 --> 02:33:20,000
Because and then I said, should I use in my mind the the Cosby moment or the Cosby thing?
2263
02:33:20,000 --> 02:33:22,000
Because I've used that minute to this.
2264
02:33:23,000 --> 02:33:27,000
And I at the same time, I said, I can still be me.
2265
02:33:27,000 --> 02:33:32,000
It's not gonna change me to be more accepting in this one area of the work that I'm working on.
2266
02:33:32,000 --> 02:33:33,000
It's not on everything.
2267
02:33:34,000 --> 02:33:36,000
It's not on every single thing that we're doing.
2268
02:33:36,000 --> 02:33:41,000
It's just in this one area, which I think is something that needs to be transformed.
2269
02:33:42,000 --> 02:33:46,000
Wouldn't it be easier if I just said, yeah.
2270
02:33:48,000 --> 02:33:49,000
I think we've done a good job.
2271
02:33:49,000 --> 02:33:50,000
Let's just move it on.
2272
02:33:50,000 --> 02:33:52,000
I don't need to I don't need to hold on to it.
2273
02:33:52,000 --> 02:33:54,000
I don't need to hold on to the rail.
2274
02:33:54,000 --> 02:33:57,000
I am gonna swim to the other side of the pool, which will have another rail.
2275
02:33:58,000 --> 02:34:15,000
It's not easy to not have rails, but I will swim to the other side of the pool, which will really move us ahead faster and make it easier and probably, most likely, less obstacles, less less challenges along the way in certain areas that don't need to be there.
2276
02:34:15,000 --> 02:34:19,000
So by letting go or transforming, those things happen.
2277
02:34:19,000 --> 02:34:21,000
So it's an it's it's an easy one.
2278
02:34:21,000 --> 02:34:27,000
And then the next translation was, because I language is important as we talked about in the very beginning.
2279
02:34:28,000 --> 02:34:31,000
I know that the language words that have to change.
2280
02:34:31,000 --> 02:34:33,000
There's a there's a language change.
2281
02:34:33,000 --> 02:34:37,000
So, if I don't change it in language, it doesn't matter if it's in your head.
2282
02:34:37,000 --> 02:34:39,000
You have the words you use.
2283
02:34:39,000 --> 02:34:44,000
If you notice I always use challenge, there's certain words that are very, often used.
2284
02:34:45,000 --> 02:34:45,000
Yeah.
2285
02:34:45,000 --> 02:34:51,000
It would just it would make it simpler in those areas.
2286
02:34:52,000 --> 02:34:52,000
So yeah.
2287
02:34:53,000 --> 02:35:00,000
So I I can see small little pieces of, it's not a blueprint.
2288
02:35:01,000 --> 02:35:02,000
It's an adjustment.
2289
02:35:05,000 --> 02:35:06,000
Exactly.
2290
02:35:08,000 --> 02:35:14,000
So, basically, you're getting you're getting it, like, right now.
2291
02:35:15,000 --> 02:35:30,000
So when people first of all, not every, like, not not not not every, time that you're going to be asking yourself questions, you're going to be actually coming up with a decision, actual decision.
2292
02:35:30,000 --> 02:35:37,000
Because like we were talking about before, sometimes it's serious of questions and you have to hone it down.
2293
02:35:37,000 --> 02:35:47,000
And I think that one of the important questions when you want to make a decision is what's going to help me to reach this decision?
2294
02:35:48,000 --> 02:35:59,000
And, you know, going back to coaching, one of my favorite questions when I hear that someone wants to make a decision, the first thing that I'm going to ask is about what is your process for making decisions?
2295
02:36:00,000 --> 02:36:09,000
Because, you know, that's my preference is to use y, but maybe you have another, like, a really great, process that worked for you in the past.
2296
02:36:09,000 --> 02:36:12,000
So who am I to to argue differently?
2297
02:36:12,000 --> 02:36:13,000
Right?
2298
02:36:13,000 --> 02:36:13,000
You know?
2299
02:36:13,000 --> 02:36:19,000
I mean, some people may be happy to just flipping up flipping a coin, and then they'll be happy with that result.
2300
02:36:20,000 --> 02:36:26,000
If you, if you from the TED talk, and I, there's a what happened was and I think I mentioned it there.
2301
02:36:27,000 --> 02:36:29,000
We were standing I was standing in the corner.
2302
02:36:29,000 --> 02:36:34,000
We had about 15, 13 big bore, pieces of paper hanging from the wall.
2303
02:36:35,000 --> 02:36:39,000
And one of the people in the room said to me, why?
2304
02:36:40,000 --> 02:36:42,000
And I I instantaneous reaction.
2305
02:36:42,000 --> 02:36:44,000
I said, why does it matter?
2306
02:36:44,000 --> 02:36:51,000
And he looked at me, and I said, let's slow it down to micro decisions that you make between this point and that point.
2307
02:36:52,000 --> 02:36:56,000
And I said, the why won't be impactful here.
2308
02:36:57,000 --> 02:36:58,000
It needs to be later.
2309
02:36:59,000 --> 02:37:05,000
Because in order to answer this question, you're gonna ask about 30 questions or 20 questions inside your head to get there.
2310
02:37:05,000 --> 02:37:06,000
You jumped it.
2311
02:37:07,000 --> 02:37:12,000
And so the process of redefining took 3 years to create.
2312
02:37:12,000 --> 02:37:14,000
It didn't happen in, like, a week.
2313
02:37:15,000 --> 02:37:18,000
It was 3 years, and it's only maybe 8 pages in the book.
2314
02:37:18,000 --> 02:37:27,000
So, yes, develop the process that you will always end up with a better decision than the decision you had made when you first initiated it.
2315
02:37:28,000 --> 02:37:29,000
Even if it's only by 1%.
2316
02:37:30,000 --> 02:37:38,000
But the process that you had you had watched, you will always, every single time, come up with a better decision than the one that you had originally made.
2317
02:37:38,000 --> 02:37:43,000
So, yes, I do have a process to give you there is a process that I would follow.
2318
02:37:46,000 --> 02:37:46,000
Yeah.
2319
02:37:46,000 --> 02:37:47,000
That's that that's cool.
2320
02:37:47,000 --> 02:37:50,000
The the blueprint side, I I know that's a whole different ballgame.
2321
02:37:50,000 --> 02:37:54,000
Do you are you a person who writes writes them out?
2322
02:37:54,000 --> 02:37:56,000
Are you a person that draws diagrams?
2323
02:37:56,000 --> 02:37:57,000
Do you create charts?
2324
02:37:57,000 --> 02:37:59,000
How do you create your blueprint?
2325
02:38:02,000 --> 02:38:03,000
None of the above.
2326
02:38:03,000 --> 02:38:04,000
Okay.
2327
02:38:06,000 --> 02:38:06,000
Right?
2328
02:38:07,000 --> 02:38:09,000
And so, again, people are very different.
2329
02:38:09,000 --> 02:38:18,000
There are people who love lists and, love create pros and cons and all kind of, you know, follow all kind of templates.
2330
02:38:19,000 --> 02:38:26,000
I just literally work with questions, both for myself and my clients, and, you know, I just work like that.
2331
02:38:26,000 --> 02:38:35,000
But, there is no lack of supporting, tools and and templates that, that I can offer.
2332
02:38:35,000 --> 02:38:42,000
And if someone likes those things that they can or have used the them in the past for themselves, then, you know, more power to them.
2333
02:38:42,000 --> 02:38:45,000
So you don't but nothing it's only in your head?
2334
02:38:47,000 --> 02:38:48,000
I go by emotions.
2335
02:38:49,000 --> 02:38:52,000
I go by kind of feeling what I want.
2336
02:38:52,000 --> 02:38:58,000
And, it kinda creates something something in the back of my mind that kinda gets me to it.
2337
02:38:58,000 --> 02:39:00,000
Like, for instance, I'm gonna give you an example.
2338
02:39:01,000 --> 02:39:05,000
And you may tell me that you may say to me that, it's a coincidence.
2339
02:39:05,000 --> 02:39:06,000
Maybe it was.
2340
02:39:06,000 --> 02:39:14,000
But, you know, I came to the United States, in 1979, from Ukraine.
2341
02:39:15,000 --> 02:39:15,000
Yep.
2342
02:39:16,000 --> 02:39:19,000
And, I hardly spoke English.
2343
02:39:19,000 --> 02:39:26,000
But the first thing that I decided I don't know why I decided that because we moved into we moved to New York.
2344
02:39:26,000 --> 02:39:29,000
So I lived in New York all this time.
2345
02:39:29,000 --> 02:39:31,000
I decided that I'm going to teach at NYU.
2346
02:39:32,000 --> 02:39:34,000
I have zero credentials.
2347
02:39:34,000 --> 02:39:37,000
I have, like, nothing, like, 0.
2348
02:39:37,000 --> 02:39:40,000
I could I I didn't understand when people were speaking with me Yeah.
2349
02:39:40,000 --> 02:39:41,000
To me.
2350
02:39:41,000 --> 02:39:44,000
You know, it was just I went to the library.
2351
02:39:44,000 --> 02:39:53,000
It was my very first library card, and, it was a time when I felt really lost, actually.
2352
02:39:53,000 --> 02:39:54,000
But I had that image.
2353
02:39:54,000 --> 02:39:58,000
I don't know why I had that image, and that's what I wanted to do.
2354
02:39:58,000 --> 02:40:00,000
And, guess what?
2355
02:40:00,000 --> 02:40:02,000
I mean, you don't have to guess because you know.
2356
02:40:02,000 --> 02:40:04,000
That's exactly what happened.
2357
02:40:04,000 --> 02:40:24,000
And I think that, you know, when we have something that we really want and we actually create, like, of course, I had to learn English because if I wouldn't speak English, no one would even you know, like, I wouldn't be able to say that I want Yes.
2358
02:40:24,000 --> 02:40:24,000
Of course.
2359
02:40:24,000 --> 02:40:25,000
To yeah.
2360
02:40:25,000 --> 02:40:26,000
I wouldn't be able to express.
2361
02:40:26,000 --> 02:40:26,000
Right?
2362
02:40:26,000 --> 02:40:27,000
You know?
2363
02:40:27,000 --> 02:40:31,000
So so, clearly, there are strategies or action steps that I had to do.
2364
02:40:32,000 --> 02:40:41,000
But if I wouldn't have that in the back of my mind, I don't think that I would even seen the opportunities because there are a lot of opportunities around us that we don't notice.
2365
02:40:41,000 --> 02:40:42,000
Mhmm.
2366
02:40:42,000 --> 02:40:55,000
And but, you know, if if something is in the back of your mind, you're going to notice opportunities and you're going to create opportunities that are going to help you get to what you really want to get.
2367
02:40:55,000 --> 02:40:58,000
And so, I don't know.
2368
02:40:58,000 --> 02:41:00,000
This is how it always worked for me.
2369
02:41:00,000 --> 02:41:00,000
No.
2370
02:41:00,000 --> 02:41:00,000
No.
2371
02:41:00,000 --> 02:41:07,000
It's it's interesting that you've done it in that way because I'm thinking about some of the things that I do, which are very different than that.
2372
02:41:07,000 --> 02:41:09,000
So that's why I was asking.
2373
02:41:10,000 --> 02:41:11,000
Yeah.
2374
02:41:13,000 --> 02:41:15,000
So the image comes to you.
2375
02:41:16,000 --> 02:41:19,000
And do you see it as a visual?
2376
02:41:21,000 --> 02:41:22,000
Like, did you?
2377
02:41:22,000 --> 02:41:22,000
Okay.
2378
02:41:22,000 --> 02:41:23,000
Yes.
2379
02:41:23,000 --> 02:41:23,000
Yes.
2380
02:41:23,000 --> 02:41:30,000
Because I because you you use the word imagination, and I'm trying to make sure that it's not sense it's other senses and other things that are there.
2381
02:41:33,000 --> 02:41:34,000
Well, I think it's both.
2382
02:41:34,000 --> 02:41:43,000
I think for me, it's, I'm, I'm one of those weird human beings where it's all kind of balanced, to almost.
2383
02:41:43,000 --> 02:41:50,000
So I think that kinesthetic and visual are probably a little stronger than auditory, but I have all of them going on.
2384
02:41:51,000 --> 02:41:51,000
Right?
2385
02:41:51,000 --> 02:41:54,000
And so, I usually feel it.
2386
02:41:54,000 --> 02:41:59,000
That's why, to me, emotions, kinesthetic feeling is very important.
2387
02:41:59,000 --> 02:42:04,000
Like, I like I felt being in the room and teaching.
2388
02:42:04,000 --> 02:42:11,000
Like, I felt it physically, and I also had, an image of me doing it, you know.
2389
02:42:12,000 --> 02:42:13,000
Interesting.
2390
02:42:13,000 --> 02:42:16,000
I I I'm trying to think of myself.
2391
02:42:16,000 --> 02:42:19,000
I don't know if I have that type of imagery of outcomes.
2392
02:42:20,000 --> 02:42:22,000
I have certain in certain places.
2393
02:42:24,000 --> 02:42:25,000
I had the same thing with my school.
2394
02:42:26,000 --> 02:42:26,000
Right?
2395
02:42:26,000 --> 02:42:30,000
I mean, because, all of my colleagues were saying to me, like, why?
2396
02:42:30,000 --> 02:42:31,000
Why do we even need this?
2397
02:42:31,000 --> 02:42:34,000
Why do we need to have a school?
2398
02:42:34,000 --> 02:42:38,000
We have a really great practice of clients.
2399
02:42:38,000 --> 02:42:42,000
You you know, there's like, why create more more work for yourself?
2400
02:42:42,000 --> 02:42:44,000
You don't really need it.
2401
02:42:44,000 --> 02:42:46,000
But I can't explain it.
2402
02:42:46,000 --> 02:42:47,000
I just had this vision.
2403
02:42:48,000 --> 02:42:49,000
I'm a teacher at heart.
2404
02:42:49,000 --> 02:43:05,000
You know, first of all, I wanted to be more realized as a teacher, as someone who creates things, who creates courses, who teaches the way that I want to teach versus teaching it to a certain extent the way that someone else telling me how to teach.
2405
02:43:05,000 --> 02:43:05,000
Yeah.
2406
02:43:05,000 --> 02:43:06,000
Right?
2407
02:43:08,000 --> 02:43:10,000
And I just I don't know.
2408
02:43:10,000 --> 02:43:12,000
I just wanted to do it, and I did it.
2409
02:43:12,000 --> 02:43:12,000
That's it.
2410
02:43:12,000 --> 02:43:13,000
That's all I can
2411
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:13,000
do.
2412
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:13,000
No.
2413
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:13,000
No.
2414
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:14,000
That's okay.
2415
02:43:14,000 --> 02:43:21,000
I, like I've said, there's we all develop I I don't know we all develop.
2416
02:43:21,000 --> 02:43:28,000
We we have inside of us different mechanisms to allow us to be able to make decisions, the decision making blueprint.
2417
02:43:28,000 --> 02:43:30,000
Yours has an imagery to it.
2418
02:43:31,000 --> 02:43:36,000
I don't have that same I I actually do have a book called it's my wife has never looked at it.
2419
02:43:36,000 --> 02:43:42,000
I have a book called this I it's kind of my success book, and I keep track of all my successes.
2420
02:43:43,000 --> 02:43:44,000
I it's in a list.
2421
02:43:44,000 --> 02:43:46,000
It's pages and pages of things that I've done.
2422
02:43:48,000 --> 02:43:53,000
Yet the reason is because people remember their failures better than they do their successes.
2423
02:43:53,000 --> 02:43:57,000
So I decided I'm only going to keep track of my successes.
2424
02:43:58,000 --> 02:43:59,000
And it's it's huge.
2425
02:43:59,000 --> 02:44:01,000
I mean, it it doesn't have to just be business.
2426
02:44:01,000 --> 02:44:14,000
It could be when I flew over Victoria Falls, in South Africa, or when I moved to Hong Kong, it was a it was the first time teaching at NYU, or it was the first time in country.
2427
02:44:14,000 --> 02:44:16,000
So I've kept track of all of those for years.
2428
02:44:16,000 --> 02:44:18,000
They're dated very small.
2429
02:44:18,000 --> 02:44:26,000
It says, you know, 2,008 Lithuania, Vilnius something.
2430
02:44:27,000 --> 02:44:29,000
But once I've done it, I can't add it twice.
2431
02:44:29,000 --> 02:44:36,000
And I use those as references to keep me on target to say that you can always add to the positive things that happen in your life.
2432
02:44:36,000 --> 02:44:38,000
But I don't have imagery the way you're describing it.
2433
02:44:38,000 --> 02:44:44,000
So I'm asking myself, maybe I can try to use imagery, and I'm thinking about how do I do that yet.
2434
02:44:44,000 --> 02:44:52,000
I draw paint and sculpt all the time, which it's funny because you would you'd probably assume that I have an image of something, which I don't.
2435
02:44:54,000 --> 02:44:58,000
Well, you know, it would be interesting, as an exercise, as a possibility.
2436
02:44:58,000 --> 02:44:59,000
You know?
2437
02:44:59,000 --> 02:45:03,000
Like, I'm I'm I'm making a inquiry.
2438
02:45:03,000 --> 02:45:03,000
No.
2439
02:45:03,000 --> 02:45:03,000
You're not.
2440
02:45:03,000 --> 02:45:06,000
You're you're you're giving advice, but you're you're couching it differently.
2441
02:45:07,000 --> 02:45:07,000
Go ahead.
2442
02:45:07,000 --> 02:45:08,000
Go ahead.
2443
02:45:08,000 --> 02:45:08,000
Go ahead.
2444
02:45:08,000 --> 02:45:09,000
I'm okay with it.
2445
02:45:09,000 --> 02:45:09,000
I'm okay.
2446
02:45:09,000 --> 02:45:10,000
Say it.
2447
02:45:10,000 --> 02:45:10,000
Say it.
2448
02:45:11,000 --> 02:45:12,000
Actually, it's not an advice.
2449
02:45:12,000 --> 02:45:13,000
No.
2450
02:45:13,000 --> 02:45:14,000
I'm I'm literally curious.
2451
02:45:14,000 --> 02:45:14,000
Okay.
2452
02:45:14,000 --> 02:45:15,000
I'm curious.
2453
02:45:15,000 --> 02:45:20,000
And if you don't think it's, something that you would, like to do, that's fine too.
2454
02:45:20,000 --> 02:45:25,000
Because when people give advice, they literally expect the advice to be followed.
2455
02:45:25,000 --> 02:45:26,000
That's really the nature.
2456
02:45:26,000 --> 02:45:28,000
That's actually the nature of advice.
2457
02:45:28,000 --> 02:45:29,000
That's it.
2458
02:45:29,000 --> 02:45:29,000
Right?
2459
02:45:30,000 --> 02:45:35,000
But if I share something, I don't expect that you necessarily going to even agree with me.
2460
02:45:35,000 --> 02:45:43,000
You may say, you know, I have another idea in mind or, you know, whatever you told me, it just doesn't resonate at all, which is fine because I have no attachment.
2461
02:45:43,000 --> 02:45:44,000
Like, 0.
2462
02:45:44,000 --> 02:45:45,000
But I'm curious.
2463
02:45:45,000 --> 02:45:52,000
I'm curious what would it look like if you were to paint your, future Yeah.
2464
02:45:53,000 --> 02:45:54,000
The way that you feel it.
2465
02:45:54,000 --> 02:45:55,000
So, yeah.
2466
02:45:55,000 --> 02:45:58,000
I'm I'm asking myself what might I even draw.
2467
02:45:58,000 --> 02:46:04,000
One of the things that I say to people is, would you like would you like a suggestion?
2468
02:46:04,000 --> 02:46:07,000
So I always ask people first.
2469
02:46:09,000 --> 02:46:15,000
Or I might say in certain environments, I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice.
2470
02:46:17,000 --> 02:46:23,000
And and I I but I will couch it that way because I let them know that that's what I'm doing.
2471
02:46:23,000 --> 02:46:31,000
I'm gonna give you some unsolicited advice or I'll say something there's a bunch of them I use, but I use them to let them open up.
2472
02:46:31,000 --> 02:46:35,000
So for example, you saw my background in behind me.
2473
02:46:35,000 --> 02:46:39,000
I would say that I've told, people get on and it just happened yesterday morning.
2474
02:46:39,000 --> 02:46:42,000
The person, wow, what a background.
2475
02:46:43,000 --> 02:46:46,000
And I said, would you like to hear the story?
2476
02:46:47,000 --> 02:46:49,000
I always say that.
2477
02:46:49,000 --> 02:46:52,000
Because if I started to tell it, they'd be bored as convey.
2478
02:46:52,000 --> 02:46:55,000
But when I say, would you like to hear the story?
2479
02:46:55,000 --> 02:46:57,000
Every single time, it is absolutely.
2480
02:46:58,000 --> 02:46:59,000
Oh, I'd love to.
2481
02:46:59,000 --> 02:47:03,000
But then you can tell a full story and no one's gonna interrupt because you've been given permission.
2482
02:47:04,000 --> 02:47:07,000
So in the case here, I I heard it before you even said it.
2483
02:47:07,000 --> 02:47:17,000
You had a piece of a suggestion that it would be interesting if I took the time to sit down and see what that looked like.
2484
02:47:17,000 --> 02:47:24,000
And I I don't think that's a bad thought because I I did get there, but it's an interesting thought because I don't know.
2485
02:47:24,000 --> 02:47:26,000
I don't know what I'd even put on there.
2486
02:47:28,000 --> 02:47:28,000
Yeah.
2487
02:47:29,000 --> 02:47:40,000
You know, I mean, I was thinking about abstract things that express emotion versus actually, you know, trying to create a map or something.
2488
02:47:40,000 --> 02:47:44,000
But, you know, I I was just curious Mhmm.
2489
02:47:44,000 --> 02:47:52,000
But, have, like, 0, like, you know it's it's whatever you whatever however you want wherever you wanna put it.
2490
02:47:52,000 --> 02:47:54,000
Whatever you wanna put it there.
2491
02:47:54,000 --> 02:48:00,000
The interesting thing if you had said to me, David, do you have and diagram of the 40 year plan?
2492
02:48:01,000 --> 02:48:03,000
And I could say to you, it's to my right.
2493
02:48:05,000 --> 02:48:05,000
Yes.
2494
02:48:05,000 --> 02:48:06,000
I've seen it.
2495
02:48:06,000 --> 02:48:06,000
No.
2496
02:48:06,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2497
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2498
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2499
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2500
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:09,000
That's what you see behind me.
2501
02:48:09,000 --> 02:48:12,000
There actually is and there's a there's a whole video of this.
2502
02:48:13,000 --> 02:48:14,000
I sat down.
2503
02:48:14,000 --> 02:48:16,000
I've done about a 100 of these.
2504
02:48:16,000 --> 02:48:20,000
I draw out out of my head without predrawing in almost every case.
2505
02:48:21,000 --> 02:48:26,000
And I drew a whole picture of what do I see involved in the 40 years.
2506
02:48:27,000 --> 02:48:28,000
It's already outlined.
2507
02:48:29,000 --> 02:48:30,000
And there's a picture of it.
2508
02:48:30,000 --> 02:48:33,000
So I can see what that's supposed to be.
2509
02:48:34,000 --> 02:48:34,000
That I can.
2510
02:48:34,000 --> 02:48:36,000
And I drew it out.
2511
02:48:36,000 --> 02:48:38,000
But I don't have a a lifelong.
2512
02:48:39,000 --> 02:48:46,000
So that's an interesting, and it would probably take some time for my I don't like to like I don't sketch it out.
2513
02:48:46,000 --> 02:48:49,000
I just sit and I say, okay, let me draw it.
2514
02:48:49,000 --> 02:48:50,000
And there's an imagery to it.
2515
02:48:50,000 --> 02:48:53,000
So so let's hit some of these bonuses here.
2516
02:48:53,000 --> 02:49:00,000
You had checking your assumptions, using to your own thoughts, listening to thoughts of others, reshaping the future.
2517
02:49:00,000 --> 02:49:01,000
What do you wanna hit?
2518
02:49:03,000 --> 02:49:04,000
I I don't know.
2519
02:49:04,000 --> 02:49:06,000
It's like I'm looking at the clock.
2520
02:49:06,000 --> 02:49:07,000
Don't Actually.
2521
02:49:07,000 --> 02:49:09,000
Unless unless you don't want to, that's fine.
2522
02:49:10,000 --> 02:49:17,000
I did the longest, we had on our other podcast series, I got a call by this guy named Casey.
2523
02:49:18,000 --> 02:49:20,000
And he said he said, I wanna be on your podcast.
2524
02:49:21,000 --> 02:49:22,000
And I said, okay.
2525
02:49:22,000 --> 02:49:23,000
He says, let me tell you something.
2526
02:49:23,000 --> 02:49:27,000
I've listened to every podcast that you've produced that's available.
2527
02:49:28,000 --> 02:49:35,000
And in every podcast, someone says something they've I've never heard them say before.
2528
02:49:35,000 --> 02:49:38,000
He said, there's a guy by the name of Robert Zubrin on the podcast.
2529
02:49:38,000 --> 02:49:39,000
I'm making it.
2530
02:49:39,000 --> 02:49:41,000
He's a founder of the Mars Society.
2531
02:49:41,000 --> 02:49:44,000
He said and he's about I think he's 37, 38.
2532
02:49:44,000 --> 02:49:48,000
He said, I've been listening to him since I'm 9.
2533
02:49:48,000 --> 02:49:51,000
I've read every single thing he's written.
2534
02:49:51,000 --> 02:49:53,000
I've heard every interview he's ever had.
2535
02:49:53,000 --> 02:49:59,000
I've inter looked at every single thing that he has produced audio, whatever.
2536
02:49:59,000 --> 02:50:01,000
I've been to all the speeches.
2537
02:50:01,000 --> 02:50:06,000
And he said things on your show he's never said before in his entire life.
2538
02:50:06,000 --> 02:50:14,000
And he said and almost everybody that I know that has been on has said things that I've never heard from them on your podcast.
2539
02:50:15,000 --> 02:50:17,000
So I don't know why.
2540
02:50:18,000 --> 02:50:21,000
Maybe I'm a pain in the as I've said earlier.
2541
02:50:21,000 --> 02:50:25,000
I take people on a different journey, but I'm actually here to learn from you.
2542
02:50:26,000 --> 02:50:26,000
That's it.
2543
02:50:26,000 --> 02:50:29,000
So, we've had podcasts.
2544
02:50:29,000 --> 02:50:31,000
The longest one, 5 and a half hours.
2545
02:50:31,000 --> 02:50:35,000
Zig Ziglar said something, in the podcast.
2546
02:50:35,000 --> 02:50:36,000
I was asking him questions.
2547
02:50:36,000 --> 02:50:37,000
I didn't understand what he was talking about.
2548
02:50:37,000 --> 02:50:39,000
And he said, oh, David.
2549
02:50:40,000 --> 02:50:41,000
I don't know how to run a business.
2550
02:50:42,000 --> 02:50:44,000
I write speech I write speeches.
2551
02:50:44,000 --> 02:50:47,000
I give speeches, and it was something else.
2552
02:50:47,000 --> 02:50:49,000
I I didn't know how to run a business.
2553
02:50:49,000 --> 02:50:49,000
I gave it to my son.
2554
02:50:49,000 --> 02:50:50,000
He does that.
2555
02:50:50,000 --> 02:50:51,000
I don't do any of that.
2556
02:50:51,000 --> 02:50:52,000
He'd never said that.
2557
02:50:52,000 --> 02:50:53,000
No.
2558
02:50:53,000 --> 02:50:55,000
I I couldn't figure out how he's building his businesses.
2559
02:50:55,000 --> 02:50:57,000
And he said, I don't do that.
2560
02:50:58,000 --> 02:51:03,000
Or Jill Tarter who started SETI, Search for Extra Extra Extra Life.
2561
02:51:04,000 --> 02:51:08,000
Halfway during the interview, she said, well, I'm on the call with you so you can give me answers.
2562
02:51:10,000 --> 02:51:10,000
Okay.
2563
02:51:10,000 --> 02:51:12,000
I didn't realize that.
2564
02:51:12,000 --> 02:51:16,000
So I'm so if you want to, it's up to you.
2565
02:51:16,000 --> 02:51:18,000
If you're if you're good, we could stop.
2566
02:51:18,000 --> 02:51:19,000
I'm here to learn from you.
2567
02:51:19,000 --> 02:51:20,000
I've got you on the call.
2568
02:51:20,000 --> 02:51:21,000
You'll never be on again.
2569
02:51:21,000 --> 02:51:24,000
If you wanna talk about these things, good.
2570
02:51:24,000 --> 02:51:26,000
If you don't, I'm good too.
2571
02:51:26,000 --> 02:51:29,000
I'm I I do not back to back an interview.
2572
02:51:29,000 --> 02:51:33,000
I always put time afterwards just in case.
2573
02:51:33,000 --> 02:51:36,000
And the longest interview I ever did, 5 and a half hours.
2574
02:51:37,000 --> 02:51:40,000
And it took a while to get warmed up like we did.
2575
02:51:42,000 --> 02:51:54,000
And he he I I was bursting from all the drinking, and I got on and we after the call, I I said I I grabbed the, my cup and I said, I'm dying here.
2576
02:51:54,000 --> 02:51:56,000
We you created a safe word.
2577
02:51:57,000 --> 02:52:02,000
He created first one ever said, we need a safe word because if I have to go to the bathroom, I need a safe word.
2578
02:52:02,000 --> 02:52:03,000
I said, great.
2579
02:52:03,000 --> 02:52:04,000
But we're not gonna edit.
2580
02:52:04,000 --> 02:52:05,000
We'll just cut out the section.
2581
02:52:05,000 --> 02:52:06,000
We'll just be quiet.
2582
02:52:07,000 --> 02:52:08,000
He he lifts up a bottle.
2583
02:52:08,000 --> 02:52:09,000
He says, I drank this.
2584
02:52:10,000 --> 02:52:11,000
Then I drank this.
2585
02:52:12,000 --> 02:52:12,000
Then I drank this.
2586
02:52:12,000 --> 02:52:14,000
And I'm thinking, how are you drinking so much?
2587
02:52:14,000 --> 02:52:19,000
Then he picked he reached down, picked up a bottle, lifted it up, and it was full.
2588
02:52:20,000 --> 02:52:23,000
And he said, I drank this and then I filled it.
2589
02:52:23,000 --> 02:52:27,000
So he was filling it while he was on the call.
2590
02:52:28,000 --> 02:52:31,000
He's a helicopter military helicopter pilot.
2591
02:52:32,000 --> 02:52:34,000
So to him, it wasn't a big deal.
2592
02:52:34,000 --> 02:52:35,000
You just keep on going.
2593
02:52:36,000 --> 02:52:37,000
So that was, no.
2594
02:52:37,000 --> 02:52:38,000
That was in 5 and a half hours.
2595
02:52:38,000 --> 02:52:40,000
5 and a half hour that was 3 4 and a half hours.
2596
02:52:40,000 --> 02:52:42,000
Another one was 5 and a half hours just recently.
2597
02:52:42,000 --> 02:52:44,000
So up to you.
2598
02:52:44,000 --> 02:52:48,000
You, if you wanna talk about these few, hit them quickly or not.
2599
02:52:48,000 --> 02:52:49,000
You tell me.
2600
02:52:51,000 --> 02:52:51,000
Okay.
2601
02:52:51,000 --> 02:52:54,000
Well, you know, so, yeah, we can we can hit them quickly.
2602
02:52:54,000 --> 02:52:54,000
Go ahead.
2603
02:52:55,000 --> 02:52:56,000
Rock and rock and roll.
2604
02:52:56,000 --> 02:52:57,000
I'll I'll try to sit back a little bit.
2605
02:52:57,000 --> 02:52:58,000
Go ahead.
2606
02:52:59,000 --> 02:52:59,000
Okay.
2607
02:53:00,000 --> 02:53:01,000
So okay.
2608
02:53:01,000 --> 02:53:03,000
So checking your assumptions, that's the next one.
2609
02:53:03,000 --> 02:53:04,000
Right?
2610
02:53:04,000 --> 02:53:15,000
And so I I think it's just important, when you are coming up with all of those things and when you are making a decision, when you when you already have your
2611
02:53:15,000 --> 02:53:18,000
you know, you you know where you're going, where how
2612
02:53:18,000 --> 02:53:20,000
you wanna get there, and all of those things.
2613
02:53:22,000 --> 02:53:24,000
It's really important to check your assumptions.
2614
02:53:26,000 --> 02:53:35,000
I attend where you one of the one of the courses that I taught was interpersonal communication, class, and I created an experiment.
2615
02:53:35,000 --> 02:53:41,000
And the experiment was based on my acting background, and it was just really interesting.
2616
02:53:41,000 --> 02:53:42,000
So very simple.
2617
02:53:42,000 --> 02:53:57,000
I told, I took 2 students, and I said, I'd like one of you to be imagining that you're knocking on the door, your neighbors, and you're knocking on the door to, borrow some whatever, eggs or milk.
2618
02:53:58,000 --> 02:54:13,000
And the person who is opening the door, I'd like you to know that this person who is knocking on your door, she or he has been recently released from prison.
2619
02:54:14,000 --> 02:54:14,000
Okay.
2620
02:54:14,000 --> 02:54:17,000
Or whatever whatever negative thing that you want to think.
2621
02:54:17,000 --> 02:54:18,000
Right?
2622
02:54:18,000 --> 02:54:21,000
And so the person who's opening the door, she's not saying a word.
2623
02:54:21,000 --> 02:54:22,000
Right?
2624
02:54:22,000 --> 02:54:28,000
And, the person who's asking, she's just like, you know, asking regular regular voice, you know, because she doesn't know.
2625
02:54:28,000 --> 02:54:30,000
She doesn't know what the other person is thinking.
2626
02:54:30,000 --> 02:54:47,000
So I told them separately, well, you asked this in front of the whole class, and I whispered in the, other, you know, in the other person's ear, like, I want you to say to know, as you're opening the door, I know that she has been released from prison prison, like, recently.
2627
02:54:48,000 --> 02:54:53,000
And so they go through this, like, 22nd exercise.
2628
02:54:54,000 --> 02:54:55,000
And then I said, okay.
2629
02:54:55,000 --> 02:54:56,000
Let's do this again.
2630
02:54:56,000 --> 02:55:11,000
And then I took aside the the person who's opening the door and I say to her, well, I know so now that you opened the door, I want you to imagine that this is a neighbor with whom you really wanted to get closer and become friends for a long time, and you're so excited that she's finally knocking on your door.
2631
02:55:12,000 --> 02:55:13,000
Right?
2632
02:55:13,000 --> 02:55:27,000
And so, and then when this happened, the interesting very, very interesting thing that happened as a result of it is that the person who was asking to borrow milk felt the response even though nothing was ever said.
2633
02:55:27,000 --> 02:55:28,000
Oh, okay.
2634
02:55:28,000 --> 02:55:29,000
Yes.
2635
02:55:29,000 --> 02:55:29,000
Yeah.
2636
02:55:30,000 --> 02:55:30,000
Right.
2637
02:55:31,000 --> 02:55:47,000
And so, but I was also asking the person who was opening the door, imaginary door, what were what were her expectations based on what she knew or thought that she knew about the other person.
2638
02:55:48,000 --> 02:55:48,000
Right?
2639
02:55:48,000 --> 02:55:50,000
And then we kinda switched.
2640
02:55:50,000 --> 02:55:55,000
And the person who was asking, I gave them, like, a negative image and then the positive image.
2641
02:55:56,000 --> 02:56:17,000
And so, the bottom the bottom the bottom line of this exercise is that what you assume of other people and of how they're going to receive you or not receive you and what you think of them is going to 100% impact the result of that conversation.
2642
02:56:19,000 --> 02:56:20,000
Right?
2643
02:56:20,000 --> 02:56:35,000
And so, it's so important, to check your assumptions because sometimes we think that people read our minds and sometimes they actually do in that sense, you know, because we do pick up energy.
2644
02:56:35,000 --> 02:56:40,000
We pick up energy from other people because the our basic nature is animal nature.
2645
02:56:40,000 --> 02:56:41,000
Right?
2646
02:56:41,000 --> 02:56:43,000
So we pick up we know when someone is afraid.
2647
02:56:43,000 --> 02:56:49,000
We know when someone is happy, without them necessarily sharing that out loud.
2648
02:56:49,000 --> 02:56:49,000
Mhmm.
2649
02:56:49,000 --> 02:56:50,000
Yep.
2650
02:56:52,000 --> 02:56:55,000
So that was a point that I wanted to make.
2651
02:56:56,000 --> 02:56:57,000
Should I go to the
2652
02:56:57,000 --> 02:57:05,000
actual I mean, the the first thing that just one thing that came about is we I I say that I actually use this too.
2653
02:57:05,000 --> 02:57:09,000
I say we build our lives because of assumptions.
2654
02:57:09,000 --> 02:57:10,000
We have to.
2655
02:57:10,000 --> 02:57:18,000
So for example, when we get out of bed, we put our feet on the ground, and we make the assumption that gravity works.
2656
02:57:19,000 --> 02:57:23,000
So that's how we're able to balance our lives.
2657
02:57:23,000 --> 02:57:27,000
If everything was unassumable, then we'd have a lot of challenges.
2658
02:57:27,000 --> 02:57:34,000
So I guess I would kinda add a layer on top that we make the some assumptions work for us and some don't.
2659
02:57:34,000 --> 02:57:36,000
We have to figure out which ones do and don't.
2660
02:57:38,000 --> 02:57:39,000
Right.
2661
02:57:39,000 --> 02:57:39,000
Exactly.
2662
02:57:39,000 --> 02:57:40,000
Okay.
2663
02:57:41,000 --> 02:57:42,000
Okay.
2664
02:57:42,000 --> 02:57:46,000
And so the next one, is listening to your own thoughts.
2665
02:57:46,000 --> 02:57:56,000
So, many people at a very different level, share with me their personal gremlins.
2666
02:57:57,000 --> 02:58:00,000
And so, thoughts that are kind of undermining thoughts.
2667
02:58:00,000 --> 02:58:01,000
Yeah.
2668
02:58:03,000 --> 02:58:16,000
And, I'm actually surprised how many people who are, like, leaders and, like, you would think that they wouldn't have those doubts and, but they're human beings just like the rest of us.
2669
02:58:17,000 --> 02:58:25,000
And, I I I'm especially amazed to hear some things like, you know, I'm not I'm not good enough.
2670
02:58:25,000 --> 02:58:27,000
I think I'm gonna fail or whatever.
2671
02:58:28,000 --> 02:58:31,000
Or usually, it's the voice that's coming from outside in.
2672
02:58:31,000 --> 02:58:37,000
So it's like, you're gonna fail or you don't deserve this or who do you think you are or whatever things.
2673
02:58:37,000 --> 02:58:58,000
And so I think that, the these thoughts are important because I think that if you realize that you're more than your thoughts, then you can shift them and change them and actually embrace them, not agreeing with them, but maybe having a conversation.
2674
02:58:58,000 --> 02:59:12,000
So there's a a really cool technique that I use that I that I like to use, which is called parts technique, where you literally ask where does this voice coming from, who's this who's this voice belong to.
2675
02:59:14,000 --> 02:59:25,000
But then also inviting that, imagery, right, to talk to other parts of you because you have more than we all have.
2676
02:59:25,000 --> 02:59:45,000
Each person has lots of different parts, and so a part that wants to go out, a part that wants to stay in, And so most of those sort of negative parts, there are two variations of those of those type of parts.
2677
02:59:45,000 --> 02:59:58,000
One that the voice that comes from someone else we used to know, like, usually, not very supportive parent or maybe not very supportive teacher or an older brother or something like that.
2678
02:59:58,000 --> 03:00:04,000
And, there's a there are probably, you know, different techniques for that.
2679
03:00:04,000 --> 03:00:10,000
But, also, there are voices that literally represent another part of you.
2680
03:00:10,000 --> 03:00:25,000
And if it's another part of you and if it's genuine part, it it is usually it usually sounds like it's, a negative part, some something that, creates an obstacle, towards what we want to achieve.
2681
03:00:25,000 --> 03:00:31,000
But in reality, all the all that part wants or those parts want is to protect us.
2682
03:00:32,000 --> 03:00:42,000
It's coming they're coming from a really positive intention of protecting us from failing, protecting us from losing, faith or losing money or whatever.
2683
03:00:42,000 --> 03:00:46,000
It's just about or even protecting us from getting hurt.
2684
03:00:46,000 --> 03:00:49,000
So even physical safety or emotional safety.
2685
03:00:50,000 --> 03:00:58,000
And so, and when we invite other parts, then they can actually talk it out.
2686
03:00:59,000 --> 03:01:08,000
And when the there is this realization usually that, oh my goodness, all this part wants is to actually help me.
2687
03:01:08,000 --> 03:01:16,000
All this part wants is just to save me or protect me, then you can come to compromises.
2688
03:01:17,000 --> 03:01:18,000
You can come to agreements.
2689
03:01:20,000 --> 03:01:40,000
I even have this, technique called conference table, where I invite all of the parts to the conference table, and then and then they end up, signing an agreement or hugging it out or in whatever way that they can actually feel that they're on the same page and, working together.
2690
03:01:41,000 --> 03:01:50,000
Because the thing to remember is that each part is, actually a team member of the host.
2691
03:01:50,000 --> 03:01:50,000
Right?
2692
03:01:50,000 --> 03:01:53,000
You know, who whoever has all of these parts.
2693
03:01:53,000 --> 03:01:58,000
So it's very exciting, and I work with my parts too because I know it's probably the next question.
2694
03:02:01,000 --> 03:02:01,000
Right?
2695
03:02:01,000 --> 03:02:08,000
And so I I I have many, many of them because I'm pretty complex individual as many creative people are.
2696
03:02:08,000 --> 03:02:13,000
I'm sure you have tons and tons of parts as well, whether you know them
2697
03:02:13,000 --> 03:02:13,000
or not.
2698
03:02:13,000 --> 03:02:16,000
I'm reminded by people that I'm too complex.
2699
03:02:16,000 --> 03:02:18,000
I should narrow it down.
2700
03:02:21,000 --> 03:02:21,000
Right.
2701
03:02:21,000 --> 03:02:22,000
And it's fun.
2702
03:02:22,000 --> 03:02:25,000
It's fun when you begin to understand them and when they meet each other.
2703
03:02:27,000 --> 03:02:31,000
Like, my daughter and I, she always says, oh, I see who's coming out here right now.
2704
03:02:32,000 --> 03:02:33,000
Right?
2705
03:02:33,000 --> 03:02:35,000
And it's gonna yeah.
2706
03:02:35,000 --> 03:02:48,000
It's fun and it's creative, but the most important thing is that you can churn the behavior of parts that I have been kind of creating obstacles into something that's actually going to be helping you to move forward.
2707
03:02:48,000 --> 03:02:53,000
Because they're just going to need another job to do or to do their job differently rather.
2708
03:02:53,000 --> 03:03:04,000
So their their intention is amazing, but how can you help me, without making me, like, fail at my interview or something else would happen.
2709
03:03:04,000 --> 03:03:04,000
Right?
2710
03:03:04,000 --> 03:03:05,000
Yeah.
2711
03:03:05,000 --> 03:03:05,000
Absolutely.
2712
03:03:06,000 --> 03:03:07,000
So that's Yeah.
2713
03:03:07,000 --> 03:03:08,000
That's number 2.
2714
03:03:08,000 --> 03:03:08,000
Like, you know
2715
03:03:08,000 --> 03:03:11,000
And so but you did you said your thoughts.
2716
03:03:11,000 --> 03:03:21,000
So when you say, you're a complex person, what give me a definition of how you see that falling into your life.
2717
03:03:21,000 --> 03:03:23,000
Like, do you what do you do so differently?
2718
03:03:23,000 --> 03:03:24,000
Yeah.
2719
03:03:25,000 --> 03:03:25,000
Yeah.
2720
03:03:25,000 --> 03:03:28,000
Like, for instance, this is a very good example.
2721
03:03:29,000 --> 03:03:34,000
A part of me that wants to go out because I have a part that really loves people and wants to hang out.
2722
03:03:34,000 --> 03:03:36,000
And I also love dancing and all of that.
2723
03:03:36,000 --> 03:03:43,000
But there's also a very much introverted part that wants to just be left alone and read a book and just stay home.
2724
03:03:43,000 --> 03:03:43,000
Yep.
2725
03:03:44,000 --> 03:03:44,000
Right?
2726
03:03:44,000 --> 03:03:53,000
And so, when when 2 parts, want opposite things, it creates an internal conflict.
2727
03:03:54,000 --> 03:03:57,000
And, it just doesn't feel too good.
2728
03:03:57,000 --> 03:03:58,000
Right?
2729
03:03:58,000 --> 03:04:02,000
Because, again, then you find yourself at a decision point that you can't seem to be making.
2730
03:04:02,000 --> 03:04:04,000
Like, you don't know what to do.
2731
03:04:04,000 --> 03:04:04,000
You know?
2732
03:04:04,000 --> 03:04:06,000
Like, on one hand, I wanna do this.
2733
03:04:06,000 --> 03:04:07,000
On the other hand, I wanna do that.
2734
03:04:07,000 --> 03:04:08,000
So what do I do?
2735
03:04:08,000 --> 03:04:10,000
I get I literally have them talk it out.
2736
03:04:10,000 --> 03:04:11,000
Okay.
2737
03:04:11,000 --> 03:04:11,000
Okay.
2738
03:04:12,000 --> 03:04:13,000
So they have a conversation.
2739
03:04:14,000 --> 03:04:18,000
So those two parts are going to have a conversation, and they're going to come to a decision together.
2740
03:04:20,000 --> 03:04:20,000
That's it.
2741
03:04:20,000 --> 03:04:21,000
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
2742
03:04:24,000 --> 03:04:25,000
I'm much more of an introvert
2743
03:04:25,000 --> 03:04:26,000
for sure.
2744
03:04:26,000 --> 03:04:34,000
Because I am definitely an introvert, and yet I've learned to turn it on to make it work when I go out.
2745
03:04:34,000 --> 03:04:34,000
Exactly.
2746
03:04:34,000 --> 03:04:36,000
And and Exactly.
2747
03:04:36,000 --> 03:04:39,000
When you dance, you could either dance by yourself or you go out and dance.
2748
03:04:39,000 --> 03:04:41,000
So I have to be out.
2749
03:04:42,000 --> 03:04:48,000
And even, when I go to a conference, if I'm not speaking, I don't meet a lot of people.
2750
03:04:48,000 --> 03:04:52,000
But the reason I speak is then everybody knows me.
2751
03:04:52,000 --> 03:04:53,000
I don't have to do anything.
2752
03:04:53,000 --> 03:04:54,000
They all come up.
2753
03:04:57,000 --> 03:04:58,000
Exactly.
2754
03:04:58,000 --> 03:05:08,000
I was just talking to, one of my students, and we're talking about selling your services, because you have to sell your services as a coach.
2755
03:05:09,000 --> 03:05:13,000
And so we were talking about intro being introvert versus being extrovert.
2756
03:05:14,000 --> 03:05:17,000
And I said, I'm so which is true.
2757
03:05:17,000 --> 03:05:22,000
I'm just so uncomfortable, introducing myself to someone who doesn't know who I am.
2758
03:05:23,000 --> 03:05:25,000
I would just much rather be in the corner somewhere.
2759
03:05:26,000 --> 03:05:27,000
And I'm okay.
2760
03:05:27,000 --> 03:05:30,000
I like to spend the whole evening somewhere in the corner, and no one knows me.
2761
03:05:31,000 --> 03:05:39,000
But if people know me and they expect me, I'm I'm I'm okay to, you know, introduce myself and do my bit and whatever.
2762
03:05:39,000 --> 03:05:39,000
Right?
2763
03:05:39,000 --> 03:05:40,000
So I'm friendly.
2764
03:05:40,000 --> 03:05:49,000
I'm friendly, and I like people, but there's definitely this, like, level of discomfort, to make the first move.
2765
03:05:49,000 --> 03:05:55,000
And I have to push myself when I want to kinda reach out, like you were saying, like, even joining a dance class.
2766
03:05:55,000 --> 03:05:55,000
Yeah.
2767
03:05:55,000 --> 03:05:56,000
Like, when no one knows you.
2768
03:05:56,000 --> 03:05:57,000
No one cares where you are.
2769
03:05:57,000 --> 03:05:58,000
Right?
2770
03:05:58,000 --> 03:05:58,000
You know?
2771
03:05:58,000 --> 03:06:05,000
And, you wanna be friendly, but, you have to kinda, make the first move and say, you know, hi.
2772
03:06:05,000 --> 03:06:06,000
I'm someone
2773
03:06:06,000 --> 03:06:07,000
who knows what you're talking about.
2774
03:06:07,000 --> 03:06:08,000
With somebody.
2775
03:06:08,000 --> 03:06:09,000
You get to meet them.
2776
03:06:09,000 --> 03:06:11,000
It's kind of, it's coordinated.
2777
03:06:14,000 --> 03:06:14,000
Mhmm.
2778
03:06:14,000 --> 03:06:14,000
Yeah.
2779
03:06:15,000 --> 03:06:20,000
And it's much more challenging in a networking environment where no one knows you and, you know, so on.
2780
03:06:20,000 --> 03:06:22,000
But, yeah.
2781
03:06:22,000 --> 03:06:23,000
So that's why I prefer writing.
2782
03:06:24,000 --> 03:06:26,000
I prefer being a guest on a podcast.
2783
03:06:27,000 --> 03:06:34,000
I prefer all of these other ways of, getting myself out there, versus going to a networking meeting.
2784
03:06:35,000 --> 03:06:42,000
Where no one knows The first podcast I ever did was back in the, like, 1999 or 2000 or whatever.
2785
03:06:43,000 --> 03:06:48,000
The reason I started the podcast series is because I was not a well known person in the industry.
2786
03:06:50,000 --> 03:06:52,000
And so what I did is I started a podcast.
2787
03:06:52,000 --> 03:07:10,000
It ended up I mean, it was, I had Tom Peters and Brian Tracy and Jay Abraham and Keith Ferrazzi and who wrote the guy wrote whom my cheese and Ken Blanchard, like, How to Swim Without the Sharks, Harvey MacKay.
2788
03:07:10,000 --> 03:07:13,000
And I had all these it was Zig Ziglar.
2789
03:07:13,000 --> 03:07:15,000
I had all of these people who were on the program.
2790
03:07:16,000 --> 03:07:19,000
And they all wanted to listen to them, and they ended up knowing me.
2791
03:07:19,000 --> 03:07:22,000
So I used it as I wanted to learn.
2792
03:07:22,000 --> 03:07:23,000
That was the number one reason.
2793
03:07:24,000 --> 03:07:31,000
But if you called up Zig Ziglar and said, I wanna learn from you, well, not gonna get a big call, or Brian or any of these character these guys.
2794
03:07:31,000 --> 03:07:43,000
And so what I did is I started a podcast series, and it was the podcast series for the New York State chapter of the, National Speakers Association, which we could do a 1,000 members worldwide.
2795
03:07:43,000 --> 03:07:46,000
And that was how I got the introduction to all the people.
2796
03:07:46,000 --> 03:07:49,000
So I just called up and said, we have podcast series.
2797
03:07:49,000 --> 03:07:53,000
So, yeah, leveraging that so that I didn't have to do it the other way.
2798
03:07:56,000 --> 03:07:56,000
Exactly.
2799
03:07:56,000 --> 03:08:00,000
I did I did, something very, very similar with Life Coach TV.
2800
03:08:01,000 --> 03:08:17,000
So when I joined, when I joined the, New York City, chapter, even before I was the president, there, I volunteered to run a a TV show because I was familiar with how to do it, and it wasn't a big deal for me.
2801
03:08:17,000 --> 03:08:19,000
And that's exactly what I was doing.
2802
03:08:19,000 --> 03:08:30,000
And then in 2006, one of my clients, Zeko Smirnoff, he was doing a Broadway show, and I said, well, can you, give can we create something after the show?
2803
03:08:30,000 --> 03:08:35,000
And so some people still remember me because of what I did back then, you know, back in 2006.
2804
03:08:35,000 --> 03:08:36,000
Kinda kinda crazy.
2805
03:08:36,000 --> 03:08:40,000
I was able to get 400 free tickets to to his Broadway show.
2806
03:08:40,000 --> 03:08:41,000
100?
2807
03:08:42,000 --> 03:08:47,000
To 400 tickets, yeah, to, to to coaches for coaches an hour an hour Yeah.
2808
03:08:47,000 --> 03:08:48,000
Chapter back then.
2809
03:08:48,000 --> 03:08:50,000
And and that starts the ball rolling.
2810
03:08:50,000 --> 03:08:54,000
You've got some way to you've got a conversation first to be able to make that happen.
2811
03:08:55,000 --> 03:08:55,000
Yeah.
2812
03:08:55,000 --> 03:09:05,000
For me, I don't, I don't meet people as easily, but when it starts to happen, I can definitely have a conversation, can turn, you know, turn it on and but walking up, no.
2813
03:09:05,000 --> 03:09:08,000
I'm not the person who walks up unless I have to.
2814
03:09:08,000 --> 03:09:09,000
Unless I have to.
2815
03:09:09,000 --> 03:09:10,000
Like, I know.
2816
03:09:10,000 --> 03:09:12,000
I know that that's what I've gotta do.
2817
03:09:12,000 --> 03:09:15,000
So I I, you know, I I don't really squeeze my fist together.
2818
03:09:15,000 --> 03:09:17,000
But let's assume that I had some type, like, okay.
2819
03:09:17,000 --> 03:09:19,000
I'm gonna do this.
2820
03:09:19,000 --> 03:09:21,000
And I make that walk up and, just Yeah.
2821
03:09:21,000 --> 03:09:21,000
Yeah.
2822
03:09:21,000 --> 03:09:23,000
So great.
2823
03:09:23,000 --> 03:09:26,000
How listening, so next one on the points.
2824
03:09:28,000 --> 03:09:28,000
Yeah.
2825
03:09:28,000 --> 03:09:30,000
I mean, I think it's kinda obvious.
2826
03:09:30,000 --> 03:09:43,000
List listening to the thoughts of others is pretty obvious because when you are open to think to listen to the thoughts of others, and you are opening yourself to different possibilities and to seeing things differently.
2827
03:09:44,000 --> 03:10:06,000
And I think that, what we need to remember when we listen to others is to listen exactly again, something that we were taught in coaching is to listen with the intention to understand, versus listening with the intention to defend your own position or offer something else.
2828
03:10:07,000 --> 03:10:16,000
Just being in the moment while the other person is speaking and just trying to digest it, before coming up with the answer being really open.
2829
03:10:16,000 --> 03:10:24,000
If you noticed, our conversation changed because I was I wanted to hear you.
2830
03:10:24,000 --> 03:10:35,000
So I when you started to share some things about you because you were giving it a methodology, I was actually trying to hear your thinking.
2831
03:10:36,000 --> 03:10:39,000
Once I heard it, I was able to adapt.
2832
03:10:39,000 --> 03:10:41,000
But I couldn't hear you thinking.
2833
03:10:41,000 --> 03:10:46,000
I was hearing you sharing, and that was different to me.
2834
03:10:46,000 --> 03:10:47,000
I didn't I couldn't follow it.
2835
03:10:48,000 --> 03:10:54,000
The minute I heard, oh, this is the way I do it, oh, now I can bite into that.
2836
03:10:57,000 --> 03:10:58,000
Does it make sense?
2837
03:11:01,000 --> 03:11:01,000
I
2838
03:11:01,000 --> 03:11:02,000
said, does it make sense
2839
03:11:02,000 --> 03:11:02,000
to you?
2840
03:11:02,000 --> 03:11:06,000
Looking for, that connection, though, because I couldn't find it.
2841
03:11:06,000 --> 03:11:10,000
Now, actually, if you go back to our original conversation weeks ago, it was the same thing.
2842
03:11:11,000 --> 03:11:19,000
I'm trying to find the person inside of the I'm gonna say interview, but in the I'm trying to find the person that I'm talking to during the call.
2843
03:11:19,000 --> 03:11:24,000
And that's what happened once I once I could bite into something.
2844
03:11:25,000 --> 03:11:34,000
But when I'm having a conversation with people, I'll often say, let me share with you if we're talking and they're not getting some let me share with you the steps that I would go through personally.
2845
03:11:35,000 --> 03:11:37,000
Oh, then I can relate it.
2846
03:11:37,000 --> 03:11:41,000
Not as to what somebody else said at another place at another time.
2847
03:11:41,000 --> 03:11:53,000
So, there's someone else who came up with that quote that said, first, listen to understand, then not to there's actually a quote for that, and I can't remember what it is.
2848
03:11:54,000 --> 03:11:57,000
It's like a it's a it's either a verse or something.
2849
03:11:57,000 --> 03:12:05,000
1st first, learn to listen to first listen to understand, then something.
2850
03:12:05,000 --> 03:12:06,000
And I can't remember what it is.
2851
03:12:06,000 --> 03:12:08,000
So I was just trying to find it in my head.
2852
03:12:09,000 --> 03:12:10,000
What's the last one?
2853
03:12:10,000 --> 03:12:12,000
Reshaping our future includes reshaping your past.
2854
03:12:12,000 --> 03:12:14,000
This one, I gotta hear.
2855
03:12:14,000 --> 03:12:16,000
Definitely gotta hear.
2856
03:12:19,000 --> 03:12:19,000
Yeah.
2857
03:12:19,000 --> 03:12:22,000
I mean, we could definitely spend another 2 hours on this.
2858
03:12:22,000 --> 03:12:24,000
Well, you you you tossed it in the bottom.
2859
03:12:24,000 --> 03:12:24,000
So
2860
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:26,000
But yeah.
2861
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:26,000
No.
2862
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:26,000
Yeah.
2863
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:35,000
I I tossed it in the bottom because it's not really what I do all that much as a coach.
2864
03:12:36,000 --> 03:12:38,000
It's something that I did more as a hypnotist.
2865
03:12:38,000 --> 03:12:39,000
Oh.
2866
03:12:39,000 --> 03:12:40,000
But we do use
2867
03:12:40,000 --> 03:12:41,000
I didn't tie that together.
2868
03:12:42,000 --> 03:12:42,000
Yeah.
2869
03:12:42,000 --> 03:12:48,000
But we but we do but we do, you know, we do employ some of the techniques in coaching as well.
2870
03:12:48,000 --> 03:12:50,000
Well, tell me the hypnotist side.
2871
03:12:50,000 --> 03:12:51,000
I'm okay with that.
2872
03:12:53,000 --> 03:12:53,000
Yeah.
2873
03:12:53,000 --> 03:12:53,000
No.
2874
03:12:53,000 --> 03:13:02,000
I mean, so basically, the idea that I wanted to bring in here is that we consistently need to work on ourselves because who are we?
2875
03:13:03,000 --> 03:13:08,000
We are the, we are the, what's that expression?
2876
03:13:10,000 --> 03:13:11,000
We are the summary.
2877
03:13:11,000 --> 03:13:28,000
You know, we are the the the sum of everything that of all of our experiences, of all of our beliefs, of, you know so speaking about the past, that's that's what we are because everything that we are, was created up until to this moment, right?
2878
03:13:28,000 --> 03:13:30,000
You know, so that's what we are.
2879
03:13:30,000 --> 03:13:36,000
And so you can't really talk about the future without looking into your past.
2880
03:13:36,000 --> 03:13:38,000
Like who made you who you are today?
2881
03:13:39,000 --> 03:13:46,000
And what do you still need to look back and maybe tweak?
2882
03:13:46,000 --> 03:13:50,000
Because, you know, you were saying it in your book, you can't change the past.
2883
03:13:50,000 --> 03:13:56,000
Of course, you can't change the past, but you can change your attitude towards certain things that happened to you.
2884
03:13:56,000 --> 03:14:03,000
Like you were also mentioning in our conversation today, people who suffered some tragedy.
2885
03:14:03,000 --> 03:14:03,000
Right?
2886
03:14:04,000 --> 03:14:09,000
And so if you allow that tragedy to define the rest of your life, who wins?
2887
03:14:09,000 --> 03:14:10,000
Right?
2888
03:14:10,000 --> 03:14:11,000
Not you.
2889
03:14:11,000 --> 03:14:11,000
You know.
2890
03:14:11,000 --> 03:14:19,000
So, sometimes in order to move forward, you really need to reshape your past.
2891
03:14:20,000 --> 03:14:22,000
And there are lots of different techniques to do that.
2892
03:14:22,000 --> 03:14:26,000
So there's inner child, you know, that we do teach in coaching as well.
2893
03:14:26,000 --> 03:14:30,000
So inner child is, again, it's one of our parts.
2894
03:14:30,000 --> 03:14:34,000
So we we really kinda mentioned parts when we're talking about listening to your own thoughts.
2895
03:14:36,000 --> 03:14:43,000
But it has to do, in this case, not in all of the cases, but in this case, it would have to do with maybe re parenting.
2896
03:14:44,000 --> 03:14:44,000
Right?
2897
03:14:44,000 --> 03:14:46,000
How do you become your own parent?
2898
03:14:46,000 --> 03:14:54,000
How do you let go of, certain traumas, that are blocking your progress?
2899
03:14:54,000 --> 03:14:57,000
Because if you everything is about focus, right?
2900
03:14:57,000 --> 03:15:18,000
So if you're really focusing on the past and feeling still feeling all of those feelings that prevent you from moving forward and looking at what you really want to achieve or when you're trying to achieve something new and wonderful, all of these feelings sabotage you and pull you back.
2901
03:15:18,000 --> 03:15:23,000
Well, then that's a really good indication that you got to take a heavier look at that.
2902
03:15:23,000 --> 03:15:33,000
And actually, I've seen I forgot whom, but I've seen, some people were really big shots.
2903
03:15:33,000 --> 03:15:49,000
You know, people who are in entrepreneurial world, who were saying that, they couldn't stay in partnership and be productive because, their communication skills were not that great.
2904
03:15:49,000 --> 03:15:57,000
And when they were really digging when you start when they started digging in at the causes of why they were responding this way or that that way.
2905
03:15:58,000 --> 03:16:04,000
It actually took them back into certain moments of their past that they had to rethink.
2906
03:16:05,000 --> 03:16:07,000
So you can actually rethink your past
2907
03:16:07,000 --> 03:16:07,000
too.
2908
03:16:07,000 --> 03:16:14,000
I think that reshaping your future includes reshaping your perspective of your past.
2909
03:16:15,000 --> 03:16:15,000
Yeah.
2910
03:16:15,000 --> 03:16:19,000
The word perspective is probably the biggest definition of it.
2911
03:16:19,000 --> 03:16:20,000
So what really happened?
2912
03:16:20,000 --> 03:16:22,000
How does that how did that really pan out?
2913
03:16:22,000 --> 03:16:23,000
What was happening?
2914
03:16:23,000 --> 03:16:28,000
So by I don't, personally, I don't spend a lot of time.
2915
03:16:28,000 --> 03:16:30,000
There's some past that we we all have to bring together.
2916
03:16:31,000 --> 03:16:32,000
But the yes.
2917
03:16:32,000 --> 03:16:33,000
You can reshape that.
2918
03:16:33,000 --> 03:16:37,000
And I I do know that in hypnosis, it's often used to get someone to go back.
2919
03:16:37,000 --> 03:16:47,000
We've seen enough movies of this where someone goes through the horror or whatever experience they have, good or bad, to find new definitions to what they've experienced.
2920
03:16:48,000 --> 03:16:51,000
So you're getting someone to ask new questions.
2921
03:16:52,000 --> 03:16:52,000
Yeah.
2922
03:16:52,000 --> 03:16:55,000
Same type of, philosophy.
2923
03:16:56,000 --> 03:17:05,000
I'm trying to think about but hypnosis doesn't have to have that, so I'll pull that out as it's just one tool within the arsenal.
2924
03:17:07,000 --> 03:17:08,000
Mhmm.
2925
03:17:08,000 --> 03:17:09,000
Yes.
2926
03:17:10,000 --> 03:17:16,000
Well, so, I think that, you know, like, you wanted to hear about me.
2927
03:17:16,000 --> 03:17:24,000
I think that, we don't like, I was always, very much future oriented, extremely goal oriented.
2928
03:17:24,000 --> 03:17:25,000
I get things done.
2929
03:17:25,000 --> 03:17:27,000
I don't sit on one spot.
2930
03:17:27,000 --> 03:17:27,000
Right?
2931
03:17:27,000 --> 03:17:32,000
And so, and I usually go after what I want, and you just kinda do it.
2932
03:17:33,000 --> 03:17:36,000
People usually have, like, lots of kind of fears and doubts.
2933
03:17:37,000 --> 03:17:38,000
I just kinda do it anyway.
2934
03:17:39,000 --> 03:17:39,000
You know?
2935
03:17:40,000 --> 03:17:53,000
But, I think that, once you get for me, personally, once I got a little bit more relaxed and I got to a certain level of what I wanted to achieve.
2936
03:17:53,000 --> 03:17:54,000
Like, I'm like, okay.
2937
03:17:54,000 --> 03:17:56,000
I got the the level of respect that I want.
2938
03:17:57,000 --> 03:18:06,000
I got the level of achievement that I want so I can be, like, a little bit more laid back now even though we're still constantly I'm constantly going through rebranding, changing, moving.
2939
03:18:06,000 --> 03:18:06,000
You know?
2940
03:18:08,000 --> 03:18:13,000
I don't think I'm moving mountains, but, you know, but I'm moving something.
2941
03:18:13,000 --> 03:18:14,000
I'm moving and shaking something.
2942
03:18:15,000 --> 03:18:24,000
But so I think that, certain things that I wasn't ready to look at, I'm seeing them now, and I'm dealing with it now.
2943
03:18:24,000 --> 03:18:33,000
Like, for instance, I didn't even know, or didn't want to see that, my mother was 100% a narcissist.
2944
03:18:33,000 --> 03:18:35,000
And, she was.
2945
03:18:35,000 --> 03:18:49,000
And I didn't I didn't want to admit to myself, that many things that she was doing, were driven by that, you know, versus by, like, actually caring or anything like that.
2946
03:18:49,000 --> 03:18:49,000
Right?
2947
03:18:49,000 --> 03:18:52,000
You know, anything like a normal mother would feel.
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03:18:52,000 --> 03:18:58,000
And so and and, I didn't go to a coach for the with this, by the way.
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03:18:58,000 --> 03:19:06,000
I actually hired a psychologist because I really wanted to dig in, and I wanted someone who was professional in dealing with the past.
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03:19:06,000 --> 03:19:07,000
Mhmm.
2951
03:19:07,000 --> 03:19:08,000
Because that's not what we do as coaches.
2952
03:19:08,000 --> 03:19:11,000
So when we do we do, we do touch upon that.
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03:19:12,000 --> 03:19:41,000
And, I mean, I can help someone with, certain attitudes and perspectives, but if someone needs a really deep, long, reshaping and work with that, then, it's probably better to see a psychologist, because, you know, coaching looks at the past only from the perspective of what can we take there that you learn that will help us to move forward.
2954
03:19:41,000 --> 03:19:46,000
You know, it's very purposeful kind of a goal oriented, discipline.
2955
03:19:48,000 --> 03:19:51,000
But with psychology, you just kinda sit there.
2956
03:19:51,000 --> 03:19:52,000
You sit there.
2957
03:19:52,000 --> 03:19:53,000
You dig deep.
2958
03:19:53,000 --> 03:19:58,000
There's no specific purpose other than self knowledge, and that's what I wanted.
2959
03:19:58,000 --> 03:20:04,000
So, you know, I think that it's also determining what you want, in terms of what kind of help you want to to get.
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03:20:04,000 --> 03:20:08,000
And I I would work with psychologists for 2 years, and I'm I'm done.
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03:20:09,000 --> 03:20:10,000
Well, it's a wonderful
2962
03:20:13,000 --> 03:20:13,000
journey.
2963
03:20:13,000 --> 03:20:13,000
Completely.
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03:20:13,000 --> 03:20:20,000
So I I know this is definitely not what you expected, but that's what a good podcast is, is where you go in places you're not sure of.
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03:20:20,000 --> 03:20:24,000
So I wanna thank you, Mariana, for your time and definitely do appreciate it.
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03:20:25,000 --> 03:20:29,000
And I I wanna thank all of you who tuned in, listened in.
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03:20:29,000 --> 03:20:33,000
You heard a different journey from any of the other podcasts that we've had.
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And, and I do hope that you learned something today that will make a difference in your lie in your life and the lives of others.
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03:20:40,000 --> 03:20:43,000
What's the best way, Marianna, to get a hold of you?
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03:20:46,000 --> 03:20:57,000
Well, the best way to get ahold of me is probably through my website, which is, goalimagery.com, goal Yeah.
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03:20:57,000 --> 03:20:58,000
As in goal.
2972
03:20:58,000 --> 03:20:58,000
Right?
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03:20:58,000 --> 03:21:01,000
So we talked about it at the beginning of the podcast, podcast, goalimagery.com.
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03:21:03,000 --> 03:21:26,000
And you will see the contact form there that, and just please write where you heard me and how you know of me, and, you'll be able to, you know, I'll I'll be able we'll be able to actually get a appointment meeting booked, and I'll be very happy to answer questions and talk about whatever it is that
2975
03:21:26,000 --> 03:21:27,000
you guys talk about.
2976
03:21:28,000 --> 03:21:35,000
In terms of for myself, the you can the saying is you can't fix yesterday.
2977
03:21:35,000 --> 03:21:36,000
You can only create tomorrow.
2978
03:21:36,000 --> 03:21:38,000
We touched on that a lot today.
2979
03:21:38,000 --> 03:21:39,000
I'd love to connect with you.
2980
03:21:41,000 --> 03:21:45,000
David@davidgoldsmith.com, and Instagram is mister David Goldsmith.
2981
03:21:45,000 --> 03:21:48,000
You can connect to me on Twitter, at David Goldsmith.
2982
03:21:48,000 --> 03:21:49,000
There's LinkedIn.
2983
03:21:49,000 --> 03:21:49,000
There's Facebook.
2984
03:21:49,000 --> 03:21:52,000
There's all different ways that you could find me.
2985
03:21:52,000 --> 03:21:57,000
And that said, I'm David Goldsmith, and thank you for listening.
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Hello, everybody.
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I'm David Goldsmith.
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And welcome to another edition of Redefining Tomorrow.
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It's here where we discuss topics that may redefine your future.
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That may redefine even how you live on this planet or any other type of redefining you might consider.
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One of the quotes I've lived by for most of my life is, you can't fix yesterday, you can only create tomorrow.
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In essence, today, we are redefining tomorrows.
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The topic we're going to explore today is reshaping tomorrow thinking differently.
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And we have on the call with us today, Marianna Leed.
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How are you, Marianna?
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I'm good, David.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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Well, I'm looking forward to it.
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So here's a quick short intro as we always do.
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Mariana is the founder and executive director of Goal Imagery Coaching Academy, twice elected president of the International Coaching Federation's New York City chapter.
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She did teach at NYU, introduced coaching to the Smithsonian Institute, which I thought was interesting, had a cable show on Manhattan Cable, and co hosted Laughter as a Life Skill at a Broadway theater with comic Yaakov Smirnoff.
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Now the little bit of background for everybody who's calling in or listening in for the first time, I have no idea where Marianna's going.
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I never have any idea where Marianna's going as or any guest has.
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What we do is we connect in one way, shape, or form, then we have a conversation about what the program will be like and or could be.
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And we focus primarily on the title.
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Now this is very different than any other podcast out there.
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Then what happens is we spend the time refining where the direction of this topic might go.
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And the initial orientation of the title often changes many, many times.
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I've had a change over 3 different calls with 1 individual, and we've created about 60 different titles.
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When we finally get there, we've never really discussed the topics.
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Then the guest, Marianne in this case, goes out, tries to put together a program that is going to teach or show or demonstrate the answer to reshaping tomorrow and thinking differently.
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And so I'm gonna be listening to you this at the same time you are.
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First time through, trying to learn, trying to grow together.
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So, Mariana, do you have a set of bullet points or an outline for us to follow?
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Absolutely.
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Okay.
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So can you give them to me?
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I'll I'll be happy to.
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You ready to write it down?
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I I I'm ready to write down.
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I'm going to add one thing as your conversation and mine was an interesting conversation to finally get here.
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So I'm interested.
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And when I say that is, you know, we we kinda struggled in the beginning to find a groove, not for the podcast, just the groove in in period.
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And so I'm really interested to hear how you've kind of formula formulated this time together.
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So, yes, what's number 1?
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Number 1 is the power of emotions and imagination to shape the future.
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Power of emotion and imagination to shape the future.
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Number 2.
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Realizing that your mind thinks in images.
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Your mind thinks in images.
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Okay.
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Number 3.
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The importance of having a clear goal.
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Of having a
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You and I agree on that.
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We we do.
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I don't tend to use that word as much, and we'll we'll go as soon as you said it, I said, okay.
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Let's let's move.
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Next one, number 4.
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Making important decisions.
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Making important decisions.
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Okay.
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Next one.
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Creating a blueprint of your future.
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A blueprint of your future.
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Next one.
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I have, 4 more, but they're kind of bonuses.
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Right?
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So
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Okay.
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So I'll I'll just I'll I'll write down bonus.
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So I'm okay with bonuses.
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Okay.
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Checking you.
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Are we gonna call it bonus number 1, or are we gonna call bonus I'm gonna bullet I'll put bullet point.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Checking your assumptions.
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Checking your assumptions.
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Listening to your own thoughts.
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Listening to your own thoughts.
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Next.
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Listening to the thoughts of others.
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To your thoughts of others.
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And the last one, whenever you're ready.
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Yeah.
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I'm ready.
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Reshaping your future includes reshaping your past.
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Ah.
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Includes reshaping your past.
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Okay.
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So we got them all down.
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So let's start with number 1, the power of emotion and imagination to shape the future.
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Where are we going?
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Well, yeah, it's an exciting topic because I spent, like, literally 30 years of my, pretty much entire professional career on this topic, you know, the power of emotions and imagination.
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Our emotions and our imagination affect our self identity.
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They create a hypnotic state of mind, quite literally.
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And as a result, it all creates self fulfilling prophecy, whether we realize it or not.
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I call those type of images emotionally charged images.
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And, I know you and I, we have a background kinda similar in terms of you also taught it and were you?
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We actually taught it at the same time whenever we met each other there.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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But I taught I taught all of the, coaching courses at both, continuing ed and master degree, but I also created my own, kind of brand, method called Gold Imagery.
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And I'm using it I've been using it to call my coaching academy.
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Gold So so the gold imagery boost because of David Goldsmith.
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Right?
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No.
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Gold is g o n.
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Goal.
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See, I hey.
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Look.
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And I think my name, I I had to do that was okay.
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Gold imagery.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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So the, interesting that you used the word hypnotic.
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Yep.
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Why do you call it hypnotic?
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Well,
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and that that's why goal imagery because it's all about focusing on the goal and using imagination.
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Right?
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So hypnotic because when we are, well, you know, hypnosis is we're not talking about official hypnosis, I'm saying hypnotic because it's something that is going to be produced and kept by your subconscious mind and it may or may not be known by you consciously.
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So a hypnotic state of mind is something that's running in the background and then makes you do either great things or silly things.
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Like like right?
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Yeah.
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Go ahead.
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No.
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I was gonna say because, the the word stuck out for me because I've I can do self hypnosis.
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I know it's a long story to it, but I've I've had surgery done on me with no medication.
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And my father long story to it.
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So I I when I hear hypnotic state, I'm trying to formulate how the power of emotion and and imagination shape that.
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So sorry to interrupt, but I I'm trying to tie that together because it would mean if it's in their background, it's always there.
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And okay.
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Go on.
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Let's let me hear more.
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You you're totally on the right track with all of that, and, it's impressive that you've been, using hypnosis for, as you were saying.
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Right?
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And so that's it's really powerful.
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Actually, I may very few people know that, and I usually don't advertise it but, I did do hypnosis before I became a coach.
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I did it for 20 years.
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Oh.
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And so yes, so maybe that's where my understanding of subconscious and these expressions, you know, hypnotic state of mind, self fulfilling prophecy, maybe that's where it's coming from, you know, my background.
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Yeah.
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But it's it's got it's got to be, because when I'm in an audience of 500 people, even if I'm not even at the conference or an event, like, I'm going to be a speaker, I'm standing in the back.
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If there are 500 people and they ask piece hypnotist looks for people in the audience, every single time, any audience I've ever been in, they always point to me.
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Every single time in the back.
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Oh, you.
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You.
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Come on up.
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And I don't know if I give off this message either I'm very gullible or very accept accepting of hypnotic, or maybe you have an aura around me.
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I don't know.
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So, yeah, that's interesting you have that background.
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So now I now I can follow this a lot better.
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Go ahead.
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Amazing.
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Well, maybe maybe you show enthusiasm.
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I don't know.
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Okay.
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Well and so and the premise was, a lot of people ask me why goal imagery?
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What does it even mean?
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Well, it means that first we have to have a goal, a clear goal, something that we really want versus something that we don't want and, and then imagine it fully and in present tense as you actually recommend as well and, and then you have something that may evolve in a positive way, for you in your real life.
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Right?
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So that's where I'm going with all of this.
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So before you get to that, because this I haven't really gotten great answers about why this works, and it tends to be very western culture.
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Well, not western culture.
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I would say you hear the stories when that visualization works when it's successful in any culture.
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Mhmm.
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But you don't hear the 1,000,000 or billions of people who did have a clear defined direction, and it didn't work.
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Mhmm.
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You know, there there are 22, 155,000 people in the DRC, depending on Republic of Congo.
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Not picking on the culture.
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It just tends to be an example I can use today.
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That are in what is defined by the world slavery, pulling cobalt or working in mining.
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And the reason is taking cobalt out of a mine is very difficult, so they like to have an individual find the nuggets that they would work work with.
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I'm I'm gonna imagine at a 255,000 people, there are at least, and I'm gonna be very, very, pragmatic or, open to say only 5%.
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Now out of those 5%, do you think if they follow this, they will get out?
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You know, I was reading your book actually.
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Right?
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And, I was looking at your podcast you know, not podcast.
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I was doing that as well, but I I, watched your TED Talks.
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And, I have to say that, you know, you talk about changing people's minds about lots of different things.
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Yeah.
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And one that, impressed me was, give up that idea that everything is about people.
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You have to put in strategies and systems in place to help people to do the best that they can do.
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And so, so why am I bringing this up right now is because there's no one thing that needs to happen.
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Emotionally charged in the images and realizing how you think is just one aspect.
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Clearly, if you're just going to be having images and not doing anything about them, nothing is going to happen.
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Clearly, if you're imagining that you're a superstar but you have 0 talent, nothing is going to happen and so on and so forth.
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So there are a lot of, other aspects that need to be addressed and included for someone to really become successful.
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But right now we're talking about how to utilize your thinking specifically to reshape your future.
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So these are, extremely powerful coaching techniques that I use with my clients and I also teach at my school that will help people to think differently.
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And then they can include all of the other aspects as well for us.
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So okay.
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I I get that.
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My mind is coming back to so creating a clear goal versus what you want.
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Imagine, it in the present tense, and it may evolve and and then it may evolve into a positive way.
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So inside of there, you're saying plus, plus, plus.
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You need the systems, the structures, the tools, the environment, the politics, the finance, the funding.
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All of those things are still part of the building process from something you've tried to acquire.
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Exactly.
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Of course.
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Right?
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You know, everything that you teach is just as important because how can you move forward without, all of that other stuff, right?
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You know, you can't.
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But it starts with you.
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It starts with who you are and how you appreciate yourself and how you really think.
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And most people don't realize that we do think in images.
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So, you know, if I if I bring an example, if I'm going to tell you, David, David, do me a favor.
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Do not think of a baby with a mustache.
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Don't do it.
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Don't think of a baby with a mustache.
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What's in front of your face?
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Well, it's not in front of my face.
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It's in my head.
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It's in your head.
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But it's Yeah.
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I I I I don't even I'm I'm an artist called Paint and Sculpts.
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So I'm asking myself, what would that baby actually look like?
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Uh-huh.
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And so I haven't really formulated one, but there's definitely a mustache and a baby.
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Exactly.
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So the words such as don't, do, think, all of the words that don't actually create an image, we totally ignore.
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Our mind completely ignores it and will literally create an image.
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So if I'm going to give you another example, more more relevant to people wanting to achieve something, let's say, financial success.
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Right, and if someone says to themselves I don't want to be poor, well what do you think that what kind of images do you think that they are seeing?
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If I'm saying to if if you're saying it I don't wanna be poor, what do you see?
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Yeah.
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You immediately go to what a poor image would like in your in your reference point.
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And that creates self identity sort of and creates a hypnotic state of mind and self fulfilling prophecy of the opposite of what you actually desire to achieve.
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So when my clients come in and they say to me, well, I know I don't want to do this or I don't want to be to be that, my first question is great, thanks for sharing, but what do you want instead actually?
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Right?
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So if someone who wants financial success says I see myself as a financially sustainable, financially safe, financially successful person, You have completely different type of images.
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So I the where is the evidence that it is only an image, though, that we store in imagery?
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Like, do we have any empirical evidence of that, or is this kind of a conjecture that we store?
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I I I'm try I'm my head is turning back and forth and
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Duh.
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You can't see me.
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I'm I'm try you know how you look you look in your brain for things?
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And I'm asking myself, like, do I only think in images?
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I don't even know how to I don't know how to confirm that
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Yes.
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Or deny it.
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Right.
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Well, I have to say, this is my favorite look on my students when I see them thinking and trying to connect the dots.
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That is my favorite time of the day.
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It's too bad I can't see right now.
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So Well, no.
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But that's that's okay.
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That's why, that's why I shared with you that the reason we turned off the camera is so list anybody who hears this later.
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But you and I, you have to deal with my words.
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So if we turn everything, I really have to play with that because I don't my wife is a words person.
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Mhmm.
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She she sees words, but she sees them if she's gonna be talk she she needs to read it.
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That's the way she will go.
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I'm kind of a mix.
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I like to hear something first from somebody and then read it.
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I don't like to read it first, then hear it.
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But I do a lot of I draw paint and I sculpt.
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So in front of me, I drew I draw diagrams.
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I create maps and pieces.
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But I don't know how I how the world I'm asking myself how do I store things.
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Like, is there a is there a an art library of all the imagery of my life, or is there a story library of all the stories of my life?
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Yeah.
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I I don't think it's just as, it's kinda as simple as that.
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Okay.
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Right?
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I think that, it actually interprets itself in behaviors and in habits and in, expectations.
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And that's why we're talking about self fulfilling prophecy.
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So not all of the images are going to stick with you, like, forever.
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Like, for instance, if I'm talking to you about these examples, baby with a master mustache.
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You know, this is a really kinda cute example.
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Right?
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But you have no emotional connection to it.
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So
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I I actually do.
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Well, it's just I have an emotional connection.
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I do.
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I have a connection with you and you having a baby with a mustache.
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So, you know, I I can easily put that together because the emotion is the picture in time.
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Right.
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Exactly.
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So in that case, if, in the future look.
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If if in our conversation, this is going to be the most I will send outstanding thing that, is captured by you emotionally.
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Right?
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Then maybe in the future when you think of me, you're going to think of baby with a mustache, right?
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So that could be an association that we've created just now for you.
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I don't know, right?
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The time will tell.
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But this is how it works.
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So what we remember, we remember things emotionally and, you know, believe it or not when I joined, coaching, I joined the coaching industry back in 2002, it was a taboo.
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It's it's it's wild.
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It's hard to imagine actually, no pun intended, right?
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That, that, not so long ago in 2002, we weren't allowed, well it was considered incorrect to ask a client what do you feel, or how are you feeling about this?
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Simply because it kind of was too close to psychology and coaching industry was very very young and they were desperately trying to distinguish themselves from psychologists, psychiatrists, and any other helping profession.
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And so coaches weren't allowed to ask that question.
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And I was the first one
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And this was and this one was, by the way, an organization, and I'm picking on you.
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Sorry.
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But this is the organization that is trying to separate themselves from reality because you any good adviser, coach, whatever, has to create emotional connections.
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Well, exactly.
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But, you know, everything grows.
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Everything evolves.
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There was a time when psychology was very new, and no one believed in that either.
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You know?
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And so I think that I was the first one, to actually say it.
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Well, it doesn't make any sense.
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It doesn't make any sense because when I go to my hairdresser, she asks me about feelings, and I talk about my feelings with my hairdresser.
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So you don't have to be a psychologist necessarily to open up the conversation about feelings because it's important for people.
305
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Right?
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It's just and if we're talking about helping any human being, it's important to not just talk about their strategies and goals but also to include, to invite the conversation about how they feel.
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And so I I was talking about that, in my lectures and, you know, kind of making a stand.
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And, soon enough, like, a few years later, not that quickly, but a few years later, the coaching industry completely and totally embraced emotions and feelings.
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Not only that, nowadays, it's part of our core competencies.
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And and,
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if you look at the masterful masterful, masterful, appreciation of coaching in terms of core competencies, you will actually see that the most important thing is creating awareness and that the, Masterful Coach should, feel completely okay, when the client is expressing even strong emotions.
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So a lot of it had evolved and changed, quite drastically, but not suddenly.
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You know, it was a a slow evolving process, but it did change completely.
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And now nowadays, we talk about emotions, we talk about feelings, we talk about how to use emotions in a decision making process, which which we're going to be addressing later on today and all of that stuff.
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It's funny because, not funny.
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I don't know if it's funny.
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I'm I'm sitting here.
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I'm going back to 2000 or 1999, and I don't have my CRM up, but I, I joined the National Speakers Association, and I then over time, I built the largest chapter in the world with over a 1000 members.
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We started with 5 people, and almost everything we did was counterintuitive to what they said.
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And one of the things I had to say to the executives, the people on the team, as I said, there's 35 100 or 4000 speakers in this room.
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We have a world of 7 and a half 1000000000 people at the time.
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There are 1,000, tens of 1,000, a 100 of 1,000 of people who are speakers worldwide.
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This is such a small group.
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So I think the International Coaching Federation, similar in that type of approach, was was trying to make a name for itself.
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Mhmm.
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But in making the name for itself, it did what the National Speakers Association did.
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It kept its blinders on our, blinders on saying, well, this is the way it's done.
328
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But the world wasn't following it.
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You coach your children, and people have been coaching their children forever.
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We don't call it coaching.
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And so I I also don't call myself a coach.
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So I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that they'd even start that way.
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So I'm glad you were the one who started to push it, but it doesn't make any sense that they would do that.
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So they should be paid to think.
335
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Right?
336
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Well, I mean, absolutely.
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Right?
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I mean, I get paid to think for sure.
339
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Right?
340
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Yeah.
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So that's, I think psychologists get paid for thinking too.
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Right?
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So when so you're I'm I'm taking the imagery, not a state.
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So you start off with a a picture and emotion.
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You're tying an emotion and image together.
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I think that's where you're getting at.
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Mhmm.
348
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And then we all create them, and therefore, we add emotion to that.
349
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So does how is there empirical evidence that doing these type of things really does make a difference?
350
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Well, you know, so I think that, if you were to just experiment with it and see how it is I mean, there there are lots of research about, the use of imagination and how imagination affects our brain and how it clearly creates a blueprint for you to follow.
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So, you know, but, like, I don't have any to quote right now at this moment.
352
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But, if you just make an experiment and, see, just like, I gave you an example, but you can literally read anything.
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Like, read anything and then ask yourself, what stays with you?
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Like, read a few paragraphs of something or a paragraph or and then you and then you're going to actually realize very quickly that what stays or whatever it is that you imagined.
355
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Yeah.
356
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I I'm really trying to figure this out in my head.
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Do I do that?
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And I don't I don't know.
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I I can watch a movie for 3 hours, and then my kids will say while I was growing up, they would say, what was the movie about?
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And I say, I don't know.
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There's this this woman.
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She had, like, I think she had blonde hair, and she met this guy.
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And, he's very famous.
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And and they look at me and say, you just watched it.
365
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Right?
366
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Mhmm.
367
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I wouldn't remember or see anything.
368
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So I I wonder why.
369
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Well, because we're not talking about those type of images.
370
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Right?
371
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You know, like, I have to say if, we have a blue car and if we have on the street more than one blue car, I could absolutely go into the wrong one.
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And then my husband will be screaming, Mariana, where are you going?
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You're you're going to the wrong car.
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You know?
375
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So, I don't think that I'm talking about, those type of images, like, literally, because I think that what you are touching upon right now is the skill of visualization.
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But when we're talking about images, it's not just visual, it's also, conceptual, it's also, you know, feeling of it.
377
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So when you see an image, you just said it you just shared with me that when you, saw the image of, baby with a mustache, interestingly enough, I was impressed that you had an emotion with it and that you associated it immediately with me and our conversation today and so on and so forth.
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So and so that's the example.
379
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Right?
380
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That's it.
381
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Okay.
382
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Because it was
383
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Yeah.
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I I was well, I yeah.
385
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Okay.
386
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I guess it does.
387
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Every every word has every word has an emotional connection to it.
388
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Right.
389
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So I'm not saying that, people can't make, logical connections and think about something through, by by law with logic.
390
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But I'm saying that when you listen to someone talk or when you're reading something, your mind consistently creates images, whether we want it or not.
391
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If I'm going to ask you, how many windows is in are are in your house?
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I'd have to go through that window counting.
393
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Exactly.
394
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You would be visualizing.
395
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So now we're talking about visualizing.
396
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You would be visualizing each window because no one no human being remembers or knows exactly how windows they have in the house unless they're living, like, in a studio apartment where there's just, like, 2
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windows.
398
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2.
399
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Yes.
400
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None.
401
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It would itself.
402
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Okay.
403
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Yeah.
404
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Right.
405
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Yeah.
406
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So so we do create them.
407
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So the power of emotion and so how so tell me how do we use this in this context of the power of imagine emotion and imagination to reshape the future?
408
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Like, how are we leveraging it?
409
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Are we reshaping it?
410
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Are we creating our own?
411
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Are we creating our new?
412
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How how are you where are we going with this?
413
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Yes.
414
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So a question for you.
415
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Would you like me to continue with those bullet points with items?
416
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Because that's where it's actually getting to the explanation.
417
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Or would you like to just kinda do what we're doing?
418
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I'm I'm trying to I I it's up to you.
419
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000
I'm just I got at a point.
420
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,000
I'm asking a question because I'm sitting here saying you brought it up.
421
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:15,000
So you're saying that we have an, hypnotic state of mind, which I'd like to know the hypnotic side, self fulfilling prophecy.
422
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Mhmm.
423
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,000
You have coaching, consulting, mastering.
424
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000
You have goal imagery.
425
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,000
How do those 4 because I think there were 4.
426
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,000
How did you how do they all come together in this here?
427
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000
It's all part of the same puzzle.
428
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,000
Right?
429
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000
It's all part of the same puzzle.
430
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:44,000
So, the thinking and images, people don't realize that they do it.
431
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:55,000
It's just like we just don't most people don't realize that it's happening, and most people talk to themselves, consciously or subconsciously in a negative form.
432
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:06,000
So we usually say to ourselves what we don't want to be or what we don't want to achieve, and that impacts you subconsciously a great deal.
433
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:13,000
So the first thing to do is to change the negative statement to a positive statement.
434
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,000
So you don't want to be poor.
435
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,000
What do you want instead?
436
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,000
Do you want to be rich?
437
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,000
Do you want to be financially secure?
438
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:28,000
What feels realistic and possible and true to you that you can affirm to and say, yeah, this is what I want to be.
439
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:33,000
This is who I see myself as being, and that's what I'm going to be saying to myself.
440
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:42,000
And that's what I'm going to be seeing, and that's how you're creating this self fulfilling prophecy because you're going to be using this image.
441
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:53,000
It's an emotionally charged image because you're motivated to actually be that, to create that future, and you're going to be saying it to yourself.
442
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,000
You're going to be seeing that image, and it's going to help you.
443
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:08,000
It's not going to be the only thing that you that's going to be it's going to help you versus harming you or creating obstacles as when as when people think of in the negative.
444
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,000
So that's what I'm getting to in this part of our conversation.
445
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:23,000
So if if I have an individual that I'm working with who doesn't realize he does these things, how do I deal with that?
446
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,000
Yes.
447
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:31,000
Well, so I'm coming from the perspective of coaching, and, we ask our clients.
448
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,000
Right?
449
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,000
I ask first thing I'm going to ask is, what do you want?
450
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:36,000
Right?
451
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:46,000
People don't even hire a coach or I would imagine even a consultant like yourself without you knowing what it is that they want.
452
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:46,000
Right?
453
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:56,000
And so when you understand their final destination, when you understand overall what they want to achieve, you're going to hear literally how they're going to express themselves.
454
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:02,000
Because the way that whatever they're going to say is usually exactly how they talk to themselves.
455
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,000
Yeah.
456
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,000
I okay.
457
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,000
So, yeah, I don't I'm not just thinking coaching.
458
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:19,000
I'm for me, I don't tend to use the word coaching because, it puts me when I'm dealing with people into a different category.
459
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:24,000
I'm there to help, so I'm asking myself I'm looking at 2 things.
460
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,000
1, me.
461
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:25,000
Mhmm.
462
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,000
How do I change?
463
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000
What am I thinking that's negative?
464
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:32,000
I tend to avoid words that are negative, just overall.
465
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:37,000
For example, there are 3 words in the English language, problem, challenge, and opportunity.
466
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000
When someone says, I've got a problem.
467
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000
The minute you hear the word problem, people back away.
468
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000
I don't wanna hear another problem.
469
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:44,000
I've got my own.
470
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:51,000
So when you use that word and it's used constantly, constantly by people, And the other then you have opportunity.
471
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Well, we get I get them on my Instagram feed all day long.
472
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,000
Everybody's got an opportunity for somebody, so people are skeptical.
473
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000
But if you see the word challenge, people lean in.
474
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Mhmm.
475
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
They lean in because, hey.
476
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
I've got a challenge.
477
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000
Well, what what's what are you dealing with?
478
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000
And they'll ask those type of questions.
479
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
Mhmm.
480
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
So I have 2 sets.
481
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:16,000
1 I'm saying is, what am I doing that is tying my emotion and my imagination in a negative way?
482
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,000
I I I don't seem to find something in that way that I can give an answer to even express.
483
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:25,000
I know I've got to be doing it, but I don't I don't even know where to find it.
484
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,000
I'm looking through my head.
485
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,000
And then I'm thinking of 2 scenarios that I just had.
486
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:35,000
One individual who's very challenged with almost everything we're dealing with and another one that I had a conversation.
487
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,000
We're working on something yesterday.
488
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:47,000
And when I went through the strategic planning of what we're talking about, if you wanna say that all the images he had were wrong actually, today, I had somebody.
489
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,000
His guys gets on.
490
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:55,000
He he's trying to tell me about what he's working on, and he's he tells me about all these things he wants to build.
491
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000
And I said, can I ask you a few questions?
492
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Said, sure.
493
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Well, why are you going after the ultra high net worth of the high net worth people?
494
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000
Well, they can afford it.
495
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Well, how much could they afford?
496
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000
It's $2,000.
497
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:09,000
He says, let's just take the United States, 350,000,000 people.
498
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:15,000
Let's figure out what percentage is ultra high net worth, high net worth, or could afford a new refrigerator or or, you know, a stove or something.
499
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:16,000
K.
500
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:22,000
Let's say it came out with a number 45% of the population could probably buy something like that at a 1000 to $2,000.
501
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
And I said, let's just use 10.
502
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:24,000
10%.
503
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,000
15,000,000 people.
504
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Or not it wasn't 10%.
505
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,000
It was 15%.
506
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
Let's do 15,000,000 people.
507
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,000
So it's 15,000,000 people for your product, which sound it's a cool product.
508
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,000
And he said, yeah.
509
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000
But I wanna make sure I can get there before I die or whatever.
510
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000
I said, how old are you?
511
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,000
He's 57.
512
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,000
And none of the things made sense to me.
513
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,000
You're 57 years old.
514
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,000
He also made a statement.
515
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,000
He said, your best years of your life in your between your twenties and your thirties.
516
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,000
That's when you're building the best.
517
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,000
So I'm I'm trying to take what you're saying, and I'm saying, okay.
518
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:05,000
Emotion and imagination and the pictures they have in their mind.
519
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:06,000
Oh my god.
520
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,000
We're all screwed up.
521
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:16,000
I mean, I so I I'm I'm actually doing I when I learn, I try to do few things.
522
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:22,000
I apply it to myself, and I have to apply it to something else so that I can understand its dynamic.
523
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:27,000
Like, how would I work with somebody to help them see something, which I do all the time.
524
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:33,000
But I'm asking myself, how do I use emotion and imagery differently than I'm possibly using right now?
525
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Yeah.
526
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Well, you know, I actually did notice that, the difference between problems and challenge that you are, advising your, followers, you know, to pay attention to, and, your clients.
527
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:57,000
And I think that you're right on target with that, and, yeah, this is a really good example.
528
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:03,000
So you already kinda maybe intuitively or maybe consciously, I'm not sure, came to
529
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,000
that It's very consciously.
530
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Right.
531
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,000
Yes.
532
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Came to that realization that how we talk about things does affect what's going to happen next internally.
533
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:20,000
And then, of course, internally first and then externally in terms of, results next.
534
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:20,000
Right?
535
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000
So how are we going to see something?
536
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
How are we going to internalize it?
537
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:32,000
It's going to pretty much, dictate whether it's going to have more chance to succeed or more chance to fail.
538
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Right?
539
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:45,000
So so let me ask when I said problem, challenge, and opportunity, did you see the words or did you hear the words?
540
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,000
Yes.
541
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000
Good point.
542
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:54,000
So here is a very good example of, imagery versus visualization.
543
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,000
Oh, okay.
544
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Visualization is literally imagining an image, and imagery includes hearing and feeling.
545
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:27,000
So, for instance, some people say, well, you know, I hear I hear God speaking into my ear or I hear my internal voice or hear my inner wisdom, and they will actually auditorially hear, some intuitive intuitive wise things auditorially.
546
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,000
Right?
547
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:38,000
And, some people have a much more developed kinesthetic sense, but also any normal person has all of those senses.
548
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:45,000
Visual, kinesthetic, which means feeling and taste and, and then, auditory.
549
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,000
Right?
550
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:53,000
So if you're saying challenge versus problem, it's kinesthetic for me.
551
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Like, I feel differently in my gut immediately.
552
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000
Immediately, I have a different reaction.
553
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,000
So here's the okay.
554
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:11,000
So this is why I was normally, I don't interrupt right in the beginning, but I was having challenges because the definitions weren't clear for to me.
555
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:18,000
So you were talking about hypnotic state and and, emotion and imagination, but I didn't get what you mean by them.
556
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:26,000
So, when I'm thinking of imagery, because I draw paint and I sculpt, my first goes to imagery, images.
557
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000
I did not think about hearing.
558
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000
I did not think about kinesthetic.
559
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000
I did not think about taste.
560
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000
I didn't define it that way.
561
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:39,000
So I was very stuck in the very beginning because I didn't add those dimensions.
562
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,000
And I think there are 15 different sense sensors or 16.
563
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000
I looked it up one day.
564
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
There's not a smell here, taste.
565
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,000
There's there's, you know, gyro orientation.
566
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:56,000
There's many more sensory perceptions that we aren't even aware of on our everyday life.
567
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000
And then I said we're not aware of.
568
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000
We are aware that we're standing up, that we have a gyro sense, but it's built into us.
569
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,000
We don't think about it the same way as when we touch a stove.
570
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:10,000
So that's why I've been I've been pushing because I'm not understanding how it connected.
571
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:14,000
Now if I expand the definition that you're saying, yes.
572
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,000
When we get something, we interpret it.
573
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,000
Tell me if I'm right.
574
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:23,000
We interpret it in a a variety of different buckets.
575
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,000
Some of them are imagery wise.
576
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,000
Some of these are the other senses that are around.
577
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:40,000
But in each case, we're creating a mapping in our brain that remembers it from those sensory perceptions, whether they're imagery or other.
578
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,000
And those are what we remember and build upon.
579
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,000
Is that what you're saying?
580
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:44,000
Yes.
581
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:45,000
Thank you.
582
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,000
Okay.
583
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000
So but I I because I was Yes.
584
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
I I I was interrupting and I knew it.
585
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000
And I was trying to say, David, don't, but I'm lost.
586
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,000
I don't use the word s t r e s with the next letter.
587
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000
There's another letter.
588
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000
I haven't used it since I'm 12.
589
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,000
Why?
590
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Because everybody was using it.
591
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:06,000
And every time they used it or I used it, I felt bad.
592
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,000
Like, say the word.
593
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,000
The minute you say it, you feel bad.
594
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,000
Yet you can be in a in a conversation with someone at dinner.
595
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,000
They can say it 25 times.
596
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Their body has to be reacting.
597
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,000
But there's a better word.
598
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,000
I'm challenged.
599
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:19,000
I'm concerned.
600
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,000
I I'm overwhelmed.
601
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
I am, you know, I'm perturbed.
602
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:25,000
I'm upset.
603
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,000
But you don't have to use that one word.
604
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:34,000
And by looking for a new word, you redefine how your body reacts to it and you address it differently.
605
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Does that make sense?
606
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Yes.
607
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,000
Absolutely.
608
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Okay.
609
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,000
So now now I know where you're going.
610
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,000
I could not follow that one piece, and I'm not picking on you.
611
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Please don't take it that way.
612
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:44,000
No.
613
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:44,000
I'm not.
614
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:51,000
I'm just trying to follow and I got a little lost with the hypnotist hypnotic state the self fulfilling, and tying it all together.
615
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Okay.
616
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,000
Now I think we'll be a little bit more on target for me.
617
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Well, I I'm so glad.
618
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,000
I'm so glad.
619
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:11,000
And and thank you, David, for interrupting and clarifying because it's all very clear to me, you know, but maybe not so much for other people, who are listening also and, not realizing what it is that I'm talking about.
620
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,000
So it's helpful.
621
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,000
I think it's very helpful.
622
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Okay.
623
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:27,000
So in that sense, yes, the power of this emotional state, the the connectivity and everything shapes our future, how we in receive it and how we give it.
624
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000
Right.
625
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Okay.
626
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Does that make sense now?
627
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,000
We Yes.
628
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Why I was a little I the definitions weren't there for me at least.
629
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Okay.
630
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Good.
631
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000
So how do we take this further then?
632
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,000
How do we amplify this?
633
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Yes.
634
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:48,000
Well, so I kinda touched upon, realizing that your mind thinks in images.
635
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:57,000
We I think we went very thoroughly through that and what images mean and that they are, like, dimensional more dimensional than just visualization.
636
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:05,000
And, you know, I was appreciating what you were saying about, that word that you don't like, stress.
637
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,000
I'm going to just say it.
638
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:16,000
And, I think that, you know, when I hear the client says, you know, I'm I'm so stressed out, I will usually ask, so what's stressing you out?
639
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:20,000
And I kinda know that I'm opening up a can of worms.
640
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:21,000
You know?
641
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:27,000
But then I'm going to hear specific things because stress in itself is meaningless.
642
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,000
It it's like when you say stress, yeah, kinda you you again, it's a feeling word.
643
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,000
That's why you don't like it because it's it's like problems.
644
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:48,000
It's like you you feel it, but it doesn't have any image attached to it exactly unless stress presents something very, very specific to you and you have a specific image attached to it, which can also happen.
645
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:58,000
But, I want the clients to tell me what's exactly stressing them out so then I can go item by item with them and say, well, what do you want to see instead?
646
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:03,000
So for instance, if the client says, and this is what we're teaching in our school too.
647
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:13,000
If the client says, you know, this relationship with my boss or with my partner, regardless whether it's a life partner or a work partner.
648
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:19,000
You know, it's really stressing me out, and, I don't know how to move through this.
649
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:27,000
One of my questions could be, you know, what, would be, an ideal relationship?
650
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:33,000
What would ideal relationship look like for you knowing who that person is and knowing who you are?
651
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Like, what would be realistically possible in your mind as you imagine the ideal an ideal future?
652
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:49,000
And I think that that type of question takes people the question about what would you like?
653
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,000
What do you want?
654
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:56,000
How would the future look for you ideally?
655
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:56,000
Right?
656
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:04,000
That type of question takes people into literally wiring their brains differently.
657
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:13,000
They're rewiring negative into positive and all of a sudden you hear something that can actually happen.
658
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:24,000
And now the next phase in my, in in this, in this exercise, in this in this type of coaching session would be how do we get there?
659
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:39,000
What needs to happen so that this vision, this imagery of an ideal, situation, ideal relationship, ideal whatever, can become a reality.
660
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,000
Right?
661
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,000
And then, it's more awareness, creating more awareness.
662
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:52,000
And then from awareness, strategic plans come up and action steps and so on and so forth.
663
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,000
It's again, I apply everything to myself first.
664
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:57,000
Mhmm.
665
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,000
I have to.
666
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,000
I do not go outside.
667
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,000
So I don't think about other people.
668
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,000
I think about myself.
669
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,000
And I say, okay.
670
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:10,000
So if I'm going to, the imagery word, I sorry.
671
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:15,000
It's a terrible word, because imagery already has definitions.
672
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,000
And here here's something just about me.
673
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:24,000
Until it was about 40 some odd years, I did one thing that I think just pissed my wife off.
674
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,000
My wife is very grammar, spelling, Newhouse School of Communications.
675
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,000
She's just all, she, a minor in English.
676
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:39,000
And she would ask me something, and I'd give her she'd ask me a question, and I'd give an answer.
677
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,000
And I thought it was very complete.
678
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,000
And one day, she sat me down.
679
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,000
She said, okay.
680
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,000
Let me explain something to you.
681
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:52,000
When 1st, you give the definition well, let me give what I what is a what is a rose?
682
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:58,000
And if you ask a lot of people, what is a rose, they will say and I can ask you, what is a rose?
683
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:58,000
Let me try this.
684
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,000
What is a rose?
685
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Maryann?
686
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000
I'm not sure.
687
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,000
Okay.
688
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,000
My many people will answer.
689
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:13,000
A large portion will say, well, well, a rose is, like, something you would give to somebody as to show appreciation and love.
690
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:17,000
And she'd say and she said to me, it's not.
691
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,000
She said, a rose is a plant.
692
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,000
So she said, you don't give you always have to give the definition first.
693
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,000
So a rose is a plant that grow might grow its thorns.
694
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000
It creates a flower.
695
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,000
The flower is a certain shape.
696
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:35,000
That shape has symbolized certain things throughout society and culture.
697
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000
Now an example of a use of a rose could be in a garden to enhance it.
698
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,000
A rose could be used as something you give to somebody to show love.
699
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,000
But first, you give the definition, then you give the use case.
700
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,000
And I never noticed this my entire life.
701
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,000
I'm not that bright.
702
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:58,000
I realized how often now since she told me that that every that it's often overlooked.
703
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,000
What is the real definition?
704
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:09,000
And so the challenge that I have with the word imagery is my mind trained from youth, my mind goes to imagery.
705
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,000
It does not go to kinesthetic.
706
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:14,000
It does not go to hearing.
707
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,000
It does not go to taste or feeling.
708
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:21,000
That is a multidimensional experience, but not imagery.
709
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:26,000
And so my mind is really warped around this, and I apologize.
710
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:32,000
It's warped because the word doesn't match the common use case worldwide.
711
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,000
We can shape it to that.
712
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:39,000
We could tell people that it's new definition, but I don't know if it would be embedded in there.
713
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:48,000
So when you say you go to your, relationship, and I'm gonna go to my boss while my wife is my boss, so can't use that one.
714
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:58,000
If I'm going to go to somebody and I want to help them, not using the word coaching, just saying if I wanna help somebody, because I prefer help.
715
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:11,000
If I'm gonna help somebody and I'll help them to see something or feel something or create a new pathway, I could say to the I could twist it, turn it, and say, what do you see?
716
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,000
And they and they give the negative, and I say, okay.
717
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000
What would the positive be?
718
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:28,000
What if the people don't have that in the way that often is realistic, that that won't will happen.
719
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:39,000
Like this guy today, he just his his mind of what was an positive outcome was so far from reality, it was kinda tough to bring him back on.
720
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:54,000
How do you how do you fix if you say to somebody, what do you see is it happening and they give it to you and you say, well, let's create a plan for that, how many times do you have to tell somebody, oh, you don't have the skill sets.
721
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,000
You don't have the money.
722
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:55,000
You don't have the time.
723
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,000
You're not you're in the wrong country.
724
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,000
You're in the wrong environment.
725
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:58,000
You're in the wrong this.
726
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000
You're in the wrong that.
727
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000
You you understand what I'm asking?
728
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:02,000
The the
729
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,000
Yes.
730
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:07,000
The confluence of all of this, if that's a deposit the right word.
731
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,000
Yes.
732
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:08,000
Yes.
733
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:09,000
Abs absolutely.
734
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:15,000
So it's not wishful thinking, because what you were describing is wishful thinking.
735
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,000
Like, for instance, I don't know.
736
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,000
I want to become a superhero.
737
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:23,000
I want to make make a $1,000,000 in one day.
738
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,000
I want to be 2 inches taller.
739
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,000
Like, whatever.
740
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,000
I'm I'm kind of Yep.
741
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Making fun of you know, exaggerating.
742
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:31,000
But
743
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,000
No.
744
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:32,000
You're good.
745
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,000
These are good.
746
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:34,000
Right?
747
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,000
So these things are not possible.
748
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,000
They're just not possible.
749
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:45,000
And most people, I think, have a sense of reality, and I think that's kind of a next question that could be asked.
750
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,000
How realistic do you feel is it?
751
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:54,000
And most people will be able to self judge and say, well, you know, David, it's actually not all that realistic.
752
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,000
I realize it now.
753
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:04,000
And most, you know, people just need to be brought some awareness around what they're saying.
754
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,000
Okay.
755
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,000
It sounds like psychology.
756
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:17,000
How How is it psychology?
757
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:20,000
Oh, just asking the questions to move someone through.
758
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,000
And that's okay.
759
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000
I'm just trying to wrap my mind.
760
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:32,000
So if we're talking about the the realizing your mind, talk thoughts and images, and where motion and imagination.
761
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:38,000
How do we tie these together to get myself, because I'm using myself first
762
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:39,000
Mhmm.
763
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,000
To be better?
764
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,000
Like, what am I missing?
765
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,000
That's what I'm asking myself.
766
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,000
What am I missing?
767
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,000
What am I missing here?
768
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,000
What am I missing, Mariana?
769
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:54,000
So if you if you were if you if you and I had a coaching session, let's say
770
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
We're having one right now.
771
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Right.
772
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,000
If you would say to me, I don't know what I'm missing.
773
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,000
I'd say, what are you missing?
774
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Because I don't I don't have those answers.
775
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,000
I'm not you, David.
776
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:09,000
So if there's anything that you're missing, then I'm hoping you're going to share it with me.
777
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,000
I I'm I'm asking myself.
778
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:11,000
I don't know.
779
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,000
So we are in that.
780
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,000
You're guiding me.
781
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,000
You're helping me to see new realities.
782
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,000
That's why you're we're we're on the call today.
783
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,000
So I'm asking, I don't know what I'm missing.
784
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,000
How do you help me find what I'm missing?
785
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Like, I I don't see anything.
786
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,000
I'm a pain in the ass.
787
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,000
I'm stubborn.
788
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,000
I work hard.
789
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,000
I I I sleep hard.
790
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,000
I like to dance all night.
791
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,000
You know, I I don't carry things with me all day long.
792
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,000
I I think I treat people nicely.
793
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,000
I spend a lot of time thinking about how to make something happen.
794
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:44,000
I push limits.
795
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000
You you you you've heard about Project Moonat.
796
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:51,000
We're we're pushing boundaries, not afraid to speak up.
797
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,000
I don't know what I'm missing to be better.
798
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,000
So how do I find that?
799
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:08,000
You know, David, not everyone needs coaching, just like not everyone needs a psychologist, just like not everyone needs a consultant or any other profession.
800
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,000
You may not be missing anything.
801
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:15,000
I don't know because what right now we're talking about is having a clear goal.
802
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:16,000
Right?
803
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:23,000
So a client, who hires a coach or a consultant, they have an outcome in mind.
804
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:33,000
Something that you want to have done, something that you want to change, something that you want to get more of, something you want to get better at that is specific.
805
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:39,000
So if, someone comes to me and say, well, you know, I really don't I don't I don't know what I'm missing.
806
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:43,000
Well, you know, that's fine because I don't know either.
807
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,000
I don't have the answers like that.
808
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,000
I only have questions.
809
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000
Well okay.
810
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:49,000
Yeah.
811
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:54,000
That's part of the the coaching federation and type things is you only have the questions, not as much the answers.
812
00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:06,000
I try to I'm trying to reshape tomorrow by thinking differently.
813
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:11,000
And not talking coaching, not talking coaching business.
814
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:16,000
I'm talking overall, it should work everywhere.
815
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,000
If we take away those words, the word coaching, you don't use it.
816
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,000
We're help you're on the call helping me with your skill sets.
817
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,000
You have hypnotism as a background.
818
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,000
You have your experience at NYU.
819
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,000
You you've done laughter in plays.
820
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:30,000
How?
821
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,000
I struggle every day, every day.
822
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:38,000
How do I do a better job for the people around me?
823
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:43,000
How do I make sure that I help them meet those needs?
824
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:51,000
How do we I'm not gonna use Goldsmith Organization in that business.
825
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,000
We've got 8 businesses right now.
826
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,000
I don't know what the number is.
827
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,000
I'd have I I could actually add it.
828
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,000
I think it's 8.
829
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:05,000
How do I help the people on our teams worldwide, different cultures, different environments, different applications, different all sorts of differences.
830
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,000
How do I be a better me?
831
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:16,000
So I'm actually asking you that question with, how do I take the power of emotion and imagination to shape the future?
832
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:22,000
How do I take those and convert them into images so I can help the people around me?
833
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,000
That's what I'm I'm really that's the reason I do the program.
834
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:28,000
I'm I do all of the podcasts.
835
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,000
I think I've done about 400.
836
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,000
I do them because I'm looking for new answers.
837
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:39,000
So that thank you so much for sharing because this is very interesting as you're describing all of this.
838
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,000
And, well, my question would be, what do you see?
839
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:55,000
What do you visualize or imagine when you say that you want to take care of people around you, that you want to learn to be better?
840
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,000
What does it really mean?
841
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,000
Okay.
842
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:02,000
I'll take those 2 because I can probably give you 400 questions, and I'm not joking.
843
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,000
I have a quote in front of me.
844
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:09,000
It says, the smartest person in the room is the person who asks the best questions of themselves and of others.
845
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:12,000
I have that for me, but I made that up a long time ago.
846
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000
And I post it right in front of me.
847
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:18,000
So I'll take those 2, helping the others and helping myself.
848
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,000
So we'll start with the others.
849
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:30,000
We've got a global group of individuals working in all different types of conditions within the organization.
850
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:44,000
We have them in nonprofit and for profit, and they come with some of them unbelievable skills and other in certain areas where they need in others.
851
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:51,000
And some don't even know that they have the skills that they have, and I have to draw them out and help them out and help them move.
852
00:56:52,000 --> 00:57:04,000
And so I'm always I I have this it's in pay to think, I think, is that leader you individuals follow a leader because the leader will help them get to where they want to go.
853
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:10,000
Every person follows a leader because the leader will help them get to where they want to go.
854
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:21,000
It's an underlining premise that if you let's say we're in a military environment, there's 10 people, and the person who's leading is going to walk them into dying.
855
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:27,000
That's when people have mutiny, because they say you're not gonna take me to where I want to go.
856
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:35,000
But if you meet somebody in your and that person you feel is the person who's gonna get to where you go, you might follow them for a period of time.
857
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000
And when it diverges, it diverges.
858
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:48,000
So my challenge is how do I improve my skill sets for the different types of people, the different, we have them coming on all the time, so that I can do a better job to bring them up.
859
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
And I can give you an example of that very quickly.
860
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:56,000
We brought on 40 people into Project Moon Hut at once in Macedonia.
861
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000
It said Macadonia if you're from Macadonia.
862
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:00,000
Not Macedonia.
863
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,000
That's common news, but there they call it Macadonia.
864
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:12,000
And the president of the country, former president, Jorge Ivanov asked if I would present again at their conference.
865
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,000
And we've made a change, and we ended up bringing them all on board.
866
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,000
And some of them are unbelievably brilliant.
867
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:27,000
And I'm having challenges getting their engines going because they're smart on paper.
868
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:34,000
They've done all the careers and things, but the engine, it's I'm using all different tools that I can, and I'm struggling with that.
869
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,000
So that's one.
870
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:39,000
Then with me, we're evolving in all our organizations.
871
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000
So the people we bring on are brilliant.
872
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,000
They're just absolutely unbelievably brilliant.
873
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:57,000
The person who launched when you get a text message from Amazon, That made that whole system for all of Amazon's on our team.
874
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:03,000
1 of the top, project managers who work with Paul Allen, Bill Allen's Paul Allen is on our team.
875
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,000
1 of the top computational social scientists is on our team.
876
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:13,000
The number one mining person in the world, underwater land, high altitude, and the moon is on our team.
877
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:16,000
And in each one of them, they're just absolutely brilliant.
878
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:31,000
So I'm constantly questioning, how do I make sure I have that new skill set that they're going to need in advance of them needing it so that I can help them achieve their desired outcome or our desired outcome collectively?
879
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:36,000
So those would be two examples of where I'm struggling.
880
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:39,000
And I and I do this I struggle with this every day.
881
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,000
How do I make that next best step?
882
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,000
Well, thank you so much.
883
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,000
You shared a lot.
884
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:46,000
I gotcha.
885
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,000
My my head is overflowing.
886
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,000
That's nothing.
887
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:48,000
Go ahead.
888
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,000
I know that's
889
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:54,000
a lot of details and a lot of, emotions, actually.
890
00:59:55,000 --> 01:00:03,000
And I appreciate your genuine desire to help others and become the best, version of yourself.
891
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:21,000
And so, if you really do want to kinda get into it and, use this as a coaching session, I would ask you, out of all of the stuff that you mentioned, what is the most important or urgent for you to focus on right this moment
892
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:21,000
Okay.
893
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,000
In our conversation?
894
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,000
And I I'm I'm I'm still in 1 and 2.
895
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:32,000
So I'm following your in the 1, 2, kinda 3, but I am following it because I want to understand it for the purposes of use cases.
896
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:50,000
The most important is a that's a when you think of running, large scale projects, you actually have to move many things forward simultaneously so that they can intersect at the future.
897
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,000
That's a kind of predetermined point.
898
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:57,000
So when they converge, the value becomes amplified.
899
01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,000
That is a project.
900
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:03,000
If you think about it in small terms, you and I'll give you you have a home.
901
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:08,000
You're going to make sure that the foundation is put in and the electrical and the plumbing simultaneously.
902
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:22,000
They have to kind of be put together because if you don't do that in the right timing and the right sequence, the convergence of putting together the walls or the siding or the drywall or the roof don't come together.
903
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:28,000
So I I would say the most it's not an the most important thing.
904
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:47,000
It is the thing is to move 40 items simultaneously forward with the right people inside of it and the right funding or philanthrop for philanthropic work work to meet those needs.
905
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:54,000
So that's kind of pushing mountains simultaneously.
906
01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,000
Did I answer that okay or no?
907
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Well, yes.
908
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Thank you.
909
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:07,000
I mean, you're giving me 2 metaphors, the mountains and the house, and I love metaphors.
910
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000
And so very vivid images.
911
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:27,000
And so using those images and using your background, what do you need to focus on in our conversation to move it forward as you want.
912
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:35,000
I I I don't know what I'm missing, so I'm using every tool I can.
913
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:38,000
And you've read part of paid to think, and you could see it's just full of tools.
914
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:44,000
So I'm trying to use everything in my disposal, not knowing what will work and what yeah.
915
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:47,000
I have a good sense of it because we've we're doing a lot.
916
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:52,000
But at the same time, I feel inadequate constantly.
917
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,000
Like, do I am I doing enough?
918
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,000
Am I am I pushing it enough?
919
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,000
And it's not a workaholic attitude.
920
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:02,000
I I don't grind my teeth.
921
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,000
I don't my wife is amazing wife.
922
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:07,000
Lori is her name.
923
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:11,000
She really she would tell me if I am.
924
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,000
I sleep incredibly well, about 7 hours a night.
925
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,000
I don't wake up in the middle of night screaming that the world is falling apart.
926
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,000
And so I I don't know.
927
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:29,000
And that's that's kind of like that's where this this lit this hypnotic state, this self focusing, this all of these pieces.
928
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:34,000
I'm trying to integrate what you've been saying, the visualization.
929
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,000
I'm trying to put it into a framework.
930
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,000
I know what we're looking to accomplish.
931
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,000
I can actually give it to you.
932
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,000
It just take too long for us to do it now.
933
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:49,000
I know what we're building, and I know the pieces many of the pieces that have to be integrated into it.
934
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,000
But I how do I make it move faster?
935
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:55,000
I I I don't I don't even know the answer to that.
936
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:58,000
So how do you how do you answer the question that you don't know the answer to?
937
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,000
Well, I mean, no one has a crystal ball.
938
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:03,000
Okay.
939
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,000
Right?
940
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:20,000
I mean, no one no one has that magical power to to read or to really speed something up like that with a magic wand, but I think that, sometimes we may be.
941
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:30,000
Sometimes we want to see things sooner than it's possible and I don't know what's realistic or not in in what you were describing.
942
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:44,000
And I think that if you were to look at it from outside in, from the perspective of all of your managerial and leadership experience, which is like a vast experience to bring into the table.
943
01:04:44,000 --> 01:05:00,000
But if you will, like, separate a little bit emotionally speaking about emotions from your project and look at it from outside in as a consultant, as someone with all of this expertise and experience, well, what would you see?
944
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,000
So you're asking me how would I give myself my own advice?
945
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:03,000
Correct.
946
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:04,000
Okay.
947
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:19,000
So that that's an interesting dynamic because I am told constantly by people it's impossible to do what we're doing, And and the timelines won't work and on and on and on and on.
948
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,000
However, there are a lot of people who actually believe it is possible based upon this.
949
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:33,000
So if I was to give advice to myself, what would I tell myself?
950
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,000
It's in I had 2 things come to mind.
951
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:43,000
I'll give you the first one was I would say there is a lot here, holy shit, your life is going to have.
952
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:52,000
You're gonna be really pushing this hard for I'm gonna die at a my my thing is I wanna die at a 102, retire at a 100.
953
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:58,000
So you will be retiring for the you'll be working your butt off for the next 40 years.
954
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:13,000
And the second one is the you are on the right path because you are still asking tons of questions, and you haven't settled that you feel that you have them.
955
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:27,000
And probably the biggest strength, if I was to keep amplifying it, was to keep on finding people who challenge your assumptions, to keep on finding new answers.
956
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:38,000
So you're I would say, you are missing pieces, but you're still you're still you're still going in the right direction.
957
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:49,000
It's that you often there are some times you need to reprioritize those lists, and you get stuck where you are, which I know.
958
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:53,000
You get stuck, and you don't move to those spaces soon enough.
959
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:57,000
You have to do them faster in those areas.
960
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,000
And then I look at my calendar.
961
01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,000
I'm actually looking up.
962
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:03,000
I have 38 hours of meetings, 38 meetings last week.
963
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:08,000
38, which is incredible if none of them are a half hour.
964
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:11,000
They're all hour to 3 hours with our teams.
965
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:14,000
So I don't feel so I that would be kind of I don't know, Mariana.
966
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:22,000
That's kind of the advice that I would give in that in those two dimensions that first came to mind.
967
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:25,000
Well, thank you so much for that advice.
968
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:31,000
And as you as you as you heard yourself say all of that, how does it feel for you now?
969
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:37,000
Individuals believe that I love what I'm doing.
970
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,000
I actually I am not in love what I'm doing.
971
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,000
I believe it's the thing I need to be doing.
972
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,000
So I don't wake up with a a passion.
973
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,000
Oh, I gotta do this.
974
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,000
Like, people wanna I there's this one guy.
975
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,000
He's a jerk.
976
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:58,000
He wants to touch a 1,000,000,000 make a, touch a 1,000,000,000 people and make a $1,000,000,000 he's got all these 1,000,000,000 things, and he's a jerk.
977
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,000
He's an absolute jerk.
978
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:03,000
And people follow him because he's got these big lofty goals.
979
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,000
How do I feel?
980
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:11,000
I it's tiring to think in those dimensions.
981
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:13,000
It is.
982
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:19,000
I'm my body just went, like, so I just keep on doing what I'm doing.
983
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:24,000
So I don't know if I I I would say that I don't feel bad because I expect it.
984
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:35,000
I don't feel good because I don't I just, you know, I just just means that I keep on doing what I'm doing.
985
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:37,000
Yeah.
986
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,000
Well, so thank you so much.
987
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:40,000
And as
988
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,000
as I'm reflecting And I I know that's your coaching technique of thanking.
989
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:45,000
I I'm just yeah.
990
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,000
I I'm just fine with you saying, I thank I I got it.
991
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,000
So where do we go from here?
992
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,000
So I'm good.
993
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:50,000
Yeah.
994
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,000
I yeah.
995
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:51,000
No.
996
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,000
Okay.
997
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:53,000
I I got it.
998
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:54,000
And you got it.
999
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,000
We both got it.
1000
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,000
Yep.
1001
01:08:56,000 --> 01:09:05,000
And so I'm I'm I'm thinking, like, I'm hearing 2 different things almost.
1002
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:06,000
Okay.
1003
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:12,000
On one hand, I hear well, yeah.
1004
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:16,000
There are some things that are missing because that's what you were asking before of me.
1005
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,000
Like, what am I missing?
1006
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:24,000
So so there must be realization of what's missing because you're saying, yeah, there's some things that are missing.
1007
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,000
Mhmm.
1008
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:37,000
But then also you like, there's a the the thought is processing itself forward to it's not really all that important almost.
1009
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:38,000
Like, it implies itself.
1010
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:43,000
It's not really important what exactly is missing because I'm figuring it out.
1011
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:46,000
I'm figuring it out as I'm moving along through this journey.
1012
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:48,000
So I'm hearing those two thoughts.
1013
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:49,000
Yeah.
1014
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:49,000
Yeah.
1015
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:58,000
And I'm also hearing that, you know, sometimes we feel impatient when we're just not when we're just tired.
1016
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,000
You know?
1017
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:03,000
We're just, like, tired because that's another thing that you're sharing.
1018
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:04,000
I'm just like There
1019
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:08,000
are days that I'm very tired, and I would say 2 to 3 days a week I wanna stop.
1020
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:09,000
Right.
1021
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:12,000
I I wouldn't wear wish this on my worst enemy.
1022
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,000
So now now this is where I this is why I'm doing this.
1023
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:22,000
You have emotion, imagination, or imagery, visualization, and all these words.
1024
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:28,000
How do I use them where I'm not using them?
1025
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,000
That's what I'm trying to leverage.
1026
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:32,000
Does that make sense?
1027
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,000
No.
1028
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:35,000
No?
1029
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000
No.
1030
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:38,000
Well, I mean, it makes sense.
1031
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:45,000
It's in terms of how you're processing it right now for yourself because you're trying to understand the concepts and what we're talking about.
1032
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:45,000
Right.
1033
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,000
But it doesn't work like that.
1034
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,000
It just doesn't work like that.
1035
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Right?
1036
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:49,000
So
1037
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Okay.
1038
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000
So this is gonna be cool.
1039
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:52,000
Explain that to me.
1040
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,000
It just doesn't work like that.
1041
01:10:54,000 --> 01:11:02,000
So what I'm doing actually right now with you, is we are trying to answer your own questions.
1042
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:03,000
Right?
1043
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:28,000
And I am changing your perspective on how you look at it and therefore even your thinking and your awareness, your realization by looking at it from the perspective of all of your years of experience as a consultant, as an entrepreneur, as an investor, and so on and so forth, there's like a lot to bring to the table.
1044
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:42,000
And all I actually did is just said, if you separate yourself from your project and just just look look at it as a professional consultant, you know, experienced investor, all of those things, what would you see that you may not be seeing right now?
1045
01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:49,000
So basically, it's a change in the angle of how from what position you're looking at things.
1046
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:52,000
And that's also the use of imagination.
1047
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:57,000
There's a use of imagination in just looking from another perspective.
1048
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:00,000
So that's what we did now.
1049
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:02,000
And it's like a really short segment.
1050
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:14,000
And then also when I asked you how do you feel and then brought something back to you, some feelings came up that I don't know how dormant they were for to what extent
1051
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:14,000
No.
1052
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,000
I talk about them all the time with my wife.
1053
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:21,000
The what these what I'd shared with you is I'm I'm there's a people say that they're transparent.
1054
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:22,000
No one's transparent.
1055
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:25,000
Because if you're transparent, you'd walk into a room and say, you stink.
1056
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:25,000
You smell.
1057
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:27,000
I don't like what you're wearing in your hair.
1058
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,000
All those are things.
1059
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:32,000
I'm I'm as pretty open to sharing the things that I'm sharing.
1060
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:37,000
So, yes, I sit down with my wife and I say to her, you know, I I I don't know.
1061
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,000
I mean, that that there's another obstacle.
1062
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,000
There's another mountain.
1063
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,000
There's another thing to pass.
1064
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:43,000
She has confidence in me.
1065
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:49,000
And so I I often draw on the confidence of the people around me.
1066
01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:50,000
So they they will say, no.
1067
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:51,000
No.
1068
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:51,000
Look at this.
1069
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:52,000
Look at this.
1070
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:53,000
I'm like, okay.
1071
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:54,000
I didn't see that.
1072
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:59,000
So, the different angle I'm trying to figure out what angle might I be missing.
1073
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,000
Well no.
1074
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:18,000
So what I'm saying is is that as we go through, this type of coaching session, every question, I'm going to be bringing in something that may feel a little bit different because she's going to be seeing things differently.
1075
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,000
Sometimes it's going to be you.
1076
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:28,000
Sometimes I'm going to notice something and bring it back to you and then ask you how you feel or think about it.
1077
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:30,000
And that's what I do, as a coach.
1078
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:51,000
And so, like, right now, you went through so many different things in your responses that I would still come back to our coming back to our conversation and coming back to what I would have done in the coaching session would be I would still be creating a clear goal.
1079
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:55,000
Because what you're describing to me is not a goal, it's a vision.
1080
01:13:55,000 --> 01:14:04,000
You have a pretty clear vision, but I still don't know what it is that you specifically want to do in this particular coaching conversation.
1081
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:05,000
Right?
1082
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:11,000
I in a in a particular I mean, if we keep on calling it coaching and a coaching session, that's a different story.
1083
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:21,000
If we're talking about reshaping tomorrow and thinking differently, which is the title, then I what I'm looking to do is personally be able to reshape tomorrow by thinking differently.
1084
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:23,000
So, it's very clear what we're doing.
1085
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:25,000
We have a 40 year plan.
1086
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:36,000
Establish a box with a roof and a door on the moon through the accelerated development of an earth and space based ecosystem, bring those innovations and the paradigm shifting thinking from the endeavor and turning it back on Earth to improve how we live on Earth for all species.
1087
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:38,000
We actually have a 4 phase development of the moon.
1088
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:44,000
We have diagrams, maps, models, forecast plans, pitch decks.
1089
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,000
All of those things have been built.
1090
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,000
We have teams that are working on it on a regular basis.
1091
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:54,000
We spent, just on our scale model, we spent on phase 1 was 3000 hours and 8 months.
1092
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:58,000
Phase 2 was 18 months and 10000 hours.
1093
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:06,000
If I was to go to our platform, we have, pitch decks that are in design, 23 hours of videos, filed their patents, trademarks, and copyrights on it.
1094
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:09,000
We have pay we have people individual working on it.
1095
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:13,000
We are bringing those together in project management teams and building that out.
1096
01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:15,000
I mean, I can go through each one of them.
1097
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:20,000
So we have very, very specific outcomes of each types of activity that we're working on.
1098
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:23,000
But my role is not to do each one of them.
1099
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:26,000
My role is to lead it through.
1100
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:33,000
It's I'm I don't like to use words because they make me feel bad, but I have to give a definition for you.
1101
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:39,000
I have to help be a coordinator or an orchestrator or a whatever definition it is.
1102
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:45,000
I can't get too far into the weeds because they're better at the team's so much better than I am at these things.
1103
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,000
They're just experts in their fields.
1104
01:15:47,000 --> 01:16:04,000
But mine is to make sure that I move that project or all of these projects forward, whether it be the in the in Los Angeles, the project we're working on to build what we're calling the Odyssey, whether it be the chatbot system or the a it's not AGI, but let's use AGI system that we're building.
1105
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:07,000
Each one of the projects that we have are being moved forward.
1106
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:10,000
So I still have to be the best that I am to all of them.
1107
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:14,000
And my challenge is, am I living up to my expectations or theirs?
1108
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:17,000
How do I help them make it happen?
1109
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,000
So to redefine reshape tomorrow thinking differently.
1110
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:23,000
I mean, the podcast is redefining tomorrow.
1111
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:25,000
Exactly.
1112
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:34,000
And I'm only referring to it as coaching session because, that's exactly what we do through coaching, and that's exactly what we do in each coaching session.
1113
01:16:35,000 --> 01:17:00,000
So because when a client comes in like yourself and talks about vision and lots of different, strategy strategies and action steps and a lot of intricated, business aspects of their businesses, it remains unclear what is possible now, like right now, and what's in front of your face, what's in front of your nose even.
1114
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:00,000
Right?
1115
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:04,000
So because you can't embrace unembrasable.
1116
01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:19,000
When you're in a conversation with someone that you want, you want to get help from or you want to help, right, There has to be a definition of what is possible for this conversation.
1117
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:21,000
What is possible right now?
1118
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:30,000
What is what is important for you to focus on in the, like, very, very near like, right now, like, with right this moment?
1119
01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:35,000
And so when you were describing all of these things, it means nothing.
1120
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:36,000
Okay.
1121
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:37,000
So so what is meaningless.
1122
01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:39,000
I'm not saying that it's meaningless.
1123
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:46,000
It's very much meaningful, but it means that we can't address any of these things because we cannot address all of it at once.
1124
01:17:47,000 --> 01:18:03,000
So what I'm trying to do right now is I'm trying to find a way to get away from coaching as a concept, but get to reshaping tomorrow for me and for the podcast so that individuals can reshape their own future themselves because they're not gonna be coaches.
1125
01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:14,000
So I'm trying to change the conversation to find out how this toolset that you've got because you and I had a a mixed conversation as we got to this topic.
1126
01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:19,000
We we moved around a lot, and I think we spoke for 2 hours or 2 and a half half half hours.
1127
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:29,000
And what I'm trying to do is create a new tool set in my mind by tying together some things that I'm not seeing so that I can use them better.
1128
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:31,000
So I'm not looking to be a better coach.
1129
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:32,000
I'm looking to be a better me.
1130
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,000
So that's what I keep on trying to pull back to.
1131
01:18:36,000 --> 01:18:40,000
How do I I'm not gonna go to a coach because I get tons of advice.
1132
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:44,000
I've got we've got tons of people on our team who are constantly giving us advice and helping us.
1133
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:46,000
Very smart people worldwide.
1134
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:48,000
And I'm not just saying that.
1135
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:52,000
I mean, we got some people who are just, like, really crazily bright.
1136
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:57,000
How do I help them in my job to reshape tomorrow?
1137
01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:09,000
How do I make sure so if the if the comment is, then what we need that I need to ask I need to become a coach, then I can follow your lead.
1138
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:21,000
If you're saying ask questions to have them visualize or become emotionally connected, well, yeah, that's something that I might be able to do better, and I'm trying to figure out what that may be.
1139
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:25,000
So I'm I'm bringing it down to, like, raw.
1140
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:30,000
How do we how do I help do my job better?
1141
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:32,000
Yes.
1142
01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:34,000
Does that make sense the way I kinda strung it?
1143
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:35,000
Well, yes.
1144
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:36,000
It does.
1145
01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:43,000
And I think that, well, you know, coaches, we don't give advice, so we ask questions.
1146
01:19:43,000 --> 01:20:40,000
And the reason reason that we're kind of, mopping this as a coaching session is because the tools that I'm teaching my students, the tools I'm teaching in communication classes, the tools that I'm, teaching and sharing with you right now about how to reshape the future by thinking differently are the tools of how to ask yourself questions so that you can formulate a much more specific and healthier, images that you can that will help you follow along one step at a time and how to make decisions based on the power of emotions and imagination, how to create clear goals for immediate future as well as for overall future that you want to create.
1147
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:53,000
All of that has to do with those tools, you know, the the application of emotions, imagination, and understanding how to listen to yourself.
1148
01:20:54,000 --> 01:21:06,000
And, I think that asking yourself or whoever you want to help, as you were saying, the right questions, you know, and and and and, focusing on that.
1149
01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:09,000
Why doesn't a coach give advice?
1150
01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:16,000
Well, you know, coaching, again, see, we're going to be jumping.
1151
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:17,000
Yeah.
1152
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:17,000
I know.
1153
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,000
But I'm I'm because yeah.
1154
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:21,000
Because you you brought it up, and I'm I'm writing.
1155
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:23,000
I'm writing pages of notes.
1156
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:28,000
You you've brought back a few times that a coach doesn't give advice, and I'm I'm asking for advice.
1157
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:33,000
I'm asking how do I do something, and you're not answering the question.
1158
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:36,000
So that's why I'm asking, who gave the rule book?
1159
01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:38,000
Yeah.
1160
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:39,000
Coaches can't give advice.
1161
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:41,000
Right.
1162
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:52,000
So we provide best practices, we provide resources, but we don't give advice because, people usually ask for advice, but they hardly ever follow the advice.
1163
01:21:53,000 --> 01:22:10,000
And, I think it's because that the best answer is going to come from, collecting all of the information that, they can get to, including internal and external, and then making decisions that they need to make.
1164
01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:23,000
And, coaching is, catching on fire globally because, I think that secretly, or not so secretly, human beings don't want to be told what to do.
1165
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:33,000
We want to be empowered to really understand that we can think for ourselves, we can make those decisions, and we do have answers if we really look attentively.
1166
01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:36,000
So not all of the answers are internal.
1167
01:22:37,000 --> 01:22:50,000
Like, if I'm going to ask you, well, you know, I want to build a bridge, well, I'm not going to meditate on that and find an answer internally, but there are answers outside of me.
1168
01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:57,000
There is research, maybe I should take a training, maybe I should, do something else, you know, get mentorship, whatever.
1169
01:22:58,000 --> 01:22:58,000
Right?
1170
01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:11,000
But the answers are that out there, and, I think that the client can put those strategies to get those answers and then come back to the next session and then move it forward.
1171
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:14,000
So it's it's about asking the right questions.
1172
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:23,000
It's about looking in inside and understanding what the obstacles are because most of our obstacles are internal.
1173
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:27,000
So so but going back to the question, why?
1174
01:23:28,000 --> 01:23:34,000
You're you're giving me what's happening, But why doesn't coaching give advice?
1175
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:40,000
It's be I believe because someone came up with what they think coaching is.
1176
01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:47,000
So a coach on a soccer field, football field, a coach gives advice.
1177
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:49,000
He does.
1178
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:50,000
She does.
1179
01:23:50,000 --> 01:23:51,000
Do it this way.
1180
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:51,000
Change your foot.
1181
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:52,000
Move this angle.
1182
01:23:53,000 --> 01:23:54,000
Switch your legs.
1183
01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:56,000
Now work with the team different.
1184
01:23:56,000 --> 01:23:57,000
Here's a mapping.
1185
01:23:57,000 --> 01:23:58,000
Here's where we should go.
1186
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:01,000
Coaches have always, throughout history, given advice.
1187
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:11,000
And I think, you know, this data about coaching glowing globally is absolutely, sorry, completely incorrect in the way in which it's actually forming.
1188
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:13,000
So here's a quick history.
1189
01:24:13,000 --> 01:24:17,000
I'll do it for the speaking industry first, then come back.
1190
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:23,000
Prior to the year of 1999 before the dotcom bubble, people worked a lot for corporations.
1191
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:24,000
They were big.
1192
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:26,000
They were, tied to them.
1193
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:32,000
And then we had the dotcom bust, and a lot of people lost their jobs.
1194
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:33,000
And they hung up shingles.
1195
01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:37,000
And the speaking industry was doing fairly well.
1196
01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:38,000
People got paid.
1197
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:41,000
And then what happened next was kind of interesting.
1198
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:46,000
The conferences did not have enough people coming to them.
1199
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,000
And the worst part of any conference is a panel.
1200
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:51,000
It has always been the worst part.
1201
01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:57,000
You have an hour, you have 4 people on stage, 5 minutes for introduction, each person goes through who they are.
1202
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:00,000
They they made us 5 questions or answer 7 questions.
1203
01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:05,000
And by the time you're done, you only have, you know, 18 minutes of fame.
1204
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:08,000
But they invited people to come speak, so everybody became an expert.
1205
01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:16,000
And there were more panels than there were in 1999 because they wanted people to attend, so they used them as, leverage points.
1206
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:19,000
Everybody hung up a shingle because they didn't have any money.
1207
01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:21,000
They were business has changed.
1208
01:25:22,000 --> 01:25:23,000
So then it changed.
1209
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:27,000
About midway through, people started saying, I'm not making any money.
1210
01:25:27,000 --> 01:25:31,000
And they got jobs once again because running a business is really tough.
1211
01:25:31,000 --> 01:25:33,000
Then we had the Lehman Brothers collapse.
1212
01:25:34,000 --> 01:25:36,000
And the exact same thing happened again.
1213
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:37,000
People lost their jobs.
1214
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:38,000
They needed to have incomes.
1215
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:43,000
They started to become consultants and advisors because they figured out how all this experience.
1216
01:25:44,000 --> 01:25:48,000
And most coaches or speakers don't make money off of they don't survive.
1217
01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:50,000
They don't do as well as people might think.
1218
01:25:50,000 --> 01:25:57,000
What ended up happening was, go through the mid 2000, tens to 15, same thing happened.
1219
01:25:57,000 --> 01:26:02,000
More panels, more people not succeeding, less speakers on stage as individuals.
1220
01:26:03,000 --> 01:26:06,000
And then we had just recently the COVID dilemma.
1221
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:08,000
So we have a lot of coaches.
1222
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:09,000
So you could do the same thing with coaching.
1223
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:17,000
Coaching has been exploding, but most coaches aren't making enough money to live by.
1224
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,000
So, yes, it is an explosive industry.
1225
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:24,000
However, you gotta have people doing the work.
1226
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:30,000
So a coach gives advice throughout history.
1227
01:26:31,000 --> 01:26:36,000
The industry of coaching has morphed because the opportunities are there.
1228
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:43,000
But most of these people who are selling on Instagram and TikTok and every read the reviews.
1229
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:46,000
Most people in those audiences don't make it.
1230
01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:53,000
So are we following a pathway, going back to reshaping tomorrow?
1231
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:55,000
The real thing is, how do we create a new tomorrow?
1232
01:26:56,000 --> 01:26:58,000
And that's what I'm trying to find out from you.
1233
01:26:58,000 --> 01:27:03,000
Not just the coaching, but how do we so if you're saying ask questions, great.
1234
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:08,000
But I'm still looking for answers, so I'm I'm kinda empty.
1235
01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:10,000
Like, what do I do next?
1236
01:27:12,000 --> 01:27:14,000
Does that make sense the way I'm saying it?
1237
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:17,000
Well, everything makes sense.
1238
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:24,000
It's just that, you have to ask those questions and then you have to respond to those questions.
1239
01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:31,000
But if I'm asking myself a question and then not responded, then what's the point of asking a question?
1240
01:27:32,000 --> 01:27:36,000
Well, again, it's so, like, for example, you have your next point.
1241
01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:38,000
The importance of having a clear goal.
1242
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:41,000
Explain to me where you're going with that.
1243
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:42,000
Let me understand that.
1244
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,000
Right.
1245
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:51,000
So imagine you getting into a cab and you're saying, just drive around, because that's what we've been doing.
1246
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:55,000
You know, today, we're just kinda driving around.
1247
01:27:55,000 --> 01:28:11,000
And so it seems that the topic is reshaping the future by thinking differently, and yet we are stopping by to grab coffee, stopping by to grab newspaper, then maybe one of us met a friend and we said, hi.
1248
01:28:11,000 --> 01:28:13,000
And we're just, like, you know, a little bit all over the place.
1249
01:28:13,000 --> 01:28:14,000
Right?
1250
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:36,000
And so when it happens, when, you're actually asking yourself a question that is focused, that's supposed to help you to determine what you need and what you want, and it get and the attention gets, like, not focused, then the results are, like, not there, like, because it needs to be a very focused goal.
1251
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:46,000
So the but don't do you not see that the focused goal is I would like to reshape tomorrow and think differently, and I'm not looking to be a better coach?
1252
01:28:46,000 --> 01:28:50,000
I'm looking to reshape tomorrow and think differently.
1253
01:28:51,000 --> 01:28:51,000
Right.
1254
01:28:51,000 --> 01:28:54,000
So reshaping tomorrow starts with you.
1255
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:54,000
Right?
1256
01:28:54,000 --> 01:29:06,000
So reshaping tomorrow starts by shaping what you want for yourself and for your future.
1257
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:08,000
That's how you reshape your future.
1258
01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:17,000
Reshaping the future starts by imagining what you want, creating a vision.
1259
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:22,000
And that that vision, like, if I would ask you to well, you already have the vision.
1260
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:24,000
You have a really you have amazing vision.
1261
01:29:25,000 --> 01:29:27,000
It's going to take a while to achieve.
1262
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:27,000
Right?
1263
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:29,000
You're going to be a 100 100 years old.
1264
01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:31,000
And then I will retire.
1265
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:31,000
Right?
1266
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:32,000
And you'll never retire.
1267
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:33,000
No.
1268
01:29:33,000 --> 01:29:34,000
I'll retire when I'm a 100.
1269
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:34,000
So it's good.
1270
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:35,000
Retire.
1271
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:35,000
Okay.
1272
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:43,000
So but, you know, if you were imagine, whenever it is that the vision that you have, it's achieved.
1273
01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:46,000
You got this vision done.
1274
01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:47,000
It's done.
1275
01:29:47,000 --> 01:29:48,000
It's everything is done.
1276
01:29:48,000 --> 01:29:49,000
Yeah.
1277
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:50,000
And you feel good.
1278
01:29:51,000 --> 01:30:04,000
You are completely satisfied, your team, all of the team members, everyone who works with you and around you, they're all thrilled, you got exactly what you wanted with your vision.
1279
01:30:04,000 --> 01:30:06,000
It happened, it had happened.
1280
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:06,000
Yeah.
1281
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:20,000
So now if you look back and take literally walk backwards, one step at a time, maybe 1 year at a time, from a 100 back to where you are today, maybe that will give you clarity.
1282
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:22,000
Right?
1283
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:38,000
Then the question is, okay, now as you're walking back backwards, and then you can look, you can stop at any point, right, and look back into the future and ask yourself, what did I have to do to get from where I am to where I still need to get to?
1284
01:30:38,000 --> 01:31:01,000
And so if you like, you can kinda walk back all the way to today and maybe look in front of you, look in front of you, and it may be overwhelming to see all of the things that you need to do to get there, but maybe to look at what do you need to do today or tomorrow or this week that's going to help you move forward.
1285
01:31:02,000 --> 01:31:07,000
And those questions that you need to answer, I don't have the answers for for you.
1286
01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:14,000
You know, if I even if I would be available for advising, like, no one can really tell you.
1287
01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:16,000
No.
1288
01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:27,000
No one can give this, well, they can, they do give, yes, people can give advice or they can participate by finding the answer of what needs to be done.
1289
01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:32,000
So when you share with someone an outline and you say, what is your timeline?
1290
01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:33,000
What are the things you want to accomplish?
1291
01:31:33,000 --> 01:31:39,000
And you say, by 2,032 to 2,031, I want to achieve this.
1292
01:31:39,000 --> 01:31:42,000
By 2,036, I want to achieve this.
1293
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:49,000
By putting in those deadlines, those dates, there are things that have to be accomplished.
1294
01:31:49,000 --> 01:32:03,000
So in in ours, our in our timelines we have, it is, it goes to 2031, then we're going 2036, then we go out to 2046, and then we go to 2063.
1295
01:32:03,000 --> 01:32:08,000
So we have broken down into 4 phases in each side of in each portion.
1296
01:32:08,000 --> 01:32:10,000
There are things that have to be accomplished.
1297
01:32:11,000 --> 01:32:13,000
So they have them, but it still doesn't make me better.
1298
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:16,000
I we just have it.
1299
01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:18,000
So I'm yeah.
1300
01:32:18,000 --> 01:32:20,000
And I understand you can go backwards, but
1301
01:32:22,000 --> 01:32:23,000
Yeah.
1302
01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:24,000
So I I'm visualizing it.
1303
01:32:24,000 --> 01:32:28,000
So I'm taking your visualization, and the clear goals.
1304
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:31,000
So what how does a clear goal look to you?
1305
01:32:31,000 --> 01:32:39,000
Like, how do you shape or help how do you personally how do you personally shape a goal for you?
1306
01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:40,000
Mhmm.
1307
01:32:42,000 --> 01:32:42,000
Yeah.
1308
01:32:43,000 --> 01:32:52,000
So, you know, for me, I think that, you have to find a vision that you completely and totally resonate with.
1309
01:32:53,000 --> 01:32:58,000
If the vision doesn't give me energy, I'm sorry, it's the wrong vision.
1310
01:32:59,000 --> 01:33:07,000
Like, if I have a vision that makes me feel tired as though what you were describing, it's probably a really good thought.
1311
01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:22,000
I mean, it's probably a good idea to consider either doing it differently or doing something else if it would be me, simply because, again, the image will give us the energy to move forward.
1312
01:33:22,000 --> 01:33:30,000
If the image is, making me feel, as you were describing, I I don't know.
1313
01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:32,000
I just, I'm tired.
1314
01:33:32,000 --> 01:33:33,000
Right?
1315
01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:39,000
Well, then, something needs to be tweaked here.
1316
01:33:39,000 --> 01:33:44,000
Well, I I I'm tired because I'll have 38 meetings in a week or 28 meetings.
1317
01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:45,000
I still take my time off.
1318
01:33:45,000 --> 01:33:46,000
I still rest.
1319
01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:48,000
I get my sleep.
1320
01:33:48,000 --> 01:33:50,000
I'm not tired in that sense.
1321
01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:54,000
I I get, because of pushing mountains.
1322
01:33:55,000 --> 01:33:57,000
It's it's because of the scale, size, and scope.
1323
01:33:57,000 --> 01:34:01,000
It's not because there are things that we're doing inside that I absolutely think are amazing.
1324
01:34:03,000 --> 01:34:04,000
It's, I think it's what we need.
1325
01:34:05,000 --> 01:34:11,000
You know, if you look throughout history, there are individuals who worked and worked and worked and worked because it was something that was necessary.
1326
01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:13,000
It's not always they're in love with it.
1327
01:34:13,000 --> 01:34:15,000
They just knew it was necessary.
1328
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:27,000
And so, I don't have If you ask me to go dancing tonight, and you were the right person, and we were on dance floor, I'll dance till 4 in the morning with you.
1329
01:34:27,000 --> 01:34:28,000
For sure.
1330
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,000
I love to dance.
1331
01:34:30,000 --> 01:34:31,000
That's a different type of energy.
1332
01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:36,000
But if you get on our calls with our team, the team will say, oh my god.
1333
01:34:36,000 --> 01:34:38,000
You bring all the energy all the time.
1334
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:39,000
And we were on a call, had a lot of energy.
1335
01:34:40,000 --> 01:34:43,000
But it doesn't mean I don't get tired because I'm working.
1336
01:34:44,000 --> 01:34:46,000
So it's a different type of question.
1337
01:34:46,000 --> 01:34:51,000
But if you're saying for you, like, you do you your vision that resonates with you.
1338
01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:53,000
So you're saying you start off with your vision.
1339
01:34:53,000 --> 01:34:59,000
Do you start off with your emotion, your imagination, and the images, or do you start off with a vision?
1340
01:35:00,000 --> 01:35:02,000
Well, so, you know, since we were talking about you
1341
01:35:03,000 --> 01:35:03,000
Mhmm.
1342
01:35:03,000 --> 01:35:05,000
From like, for, like, almost 2 hours.
1343
01:35:05,000 --> 01:35:06,000
You know?
1344
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:06,000
Right?
1345
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:10,000
So I think that it makes sense to stay on that topic since it's already kinda explored.
1346
01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:21,000
And I think that, what you're describing in your in your response, it becomes clear that it's not a physical type of, or type of tiredness.
1347
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:22,000
Mhmm.
1348
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,000
But it's an emotional.
1349
01:35:23,000 --> 01:35:27,000
It's a it's mental type of tiredness, but it's still there.
1350
01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:37,000
So, you know, I would be asking, you or myself if I would be in your shoes, since this is what's it's about, you know, how to ask the right questions.
1351
01:35:38,000 --> 01:35:46,000
I would be asking, what can I do differently, or how can I turn this mountain into something more feasible?
1352
01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:48,000
How can I think about it differently?
1353
01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:50,000
How can I think about it differently?
1354
01:35:50,000 --> 01:35:56,000
So it's not so it doesn't feel oh, so putting it in I would have caught myself.
1355
01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:56,000
Right?
1356
01:35:56,000 --> 01:35:59,000
Because I almost say it so it wouldn't feel overwhelming.
1357
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:00,000
And that would have been an anxiety.
1358
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:00,000
Right?
1359
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:03,000
And so I would have caught myself in that in that thinking.
1360
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:15,000
And I would have said, you know, so what does it have to do to think differently, so that it feels easy or easier and doable.
1361
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:20,000
And I would probably ask myself to create those words.
1362
01:36:20,000 --> 01:36:23,000
Like, how would you speaking about turning negative into positive.
1363
01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:28,000
So now it feels overwhelming and like a huge map pushing mountains.
1364
01:36:29,000 --> 01:36:36,000
What, other metaphor would you like to use that would give an opposite feeling?
1365
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:39,000
Feeling that you want to have.
1366
01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:42,000
And what words, what images would you describe it?
1367
01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:43,000
That would be another question.
1368
01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:53,000
What images or what words, would you describe, how do you actually want to feel that are realistic and doable?
1369
01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:57,000
You may not know exactly how to go about it yet, but what would be those words?
1370
01:36:58,000 --> 01:36:58,000
You know?
1371
01:36:58,000 --> 01:37:00,000
And that that would be a starting point.
1372
01:37:02,000 --> 01:37:02,000
Okay.
1373
01:37:02,000 --> 01:37:11,000
I'm trying to think of things because they're one of one of the members on the team says you've been doing this for this amount of time and you still don't love it.
1374
01:37:11,000 --> 01:37:12,000
And he loves it.
1375
01:37:12,000 --> 01:37:16,000
And I say, I don't have to love it to do it.
1376
01:37:16,000 --> 01:37:18,000
I have to make sure it's done.
1377
01:37:18,000 --> 01:37:21,000
You know, we we don't always have to do things in life that we love.
1378
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:24,000
It doesn't always translate that way.
1379
01:37:24,000 --> 01:37:29,000
In in China, actually, there's a saying, you don't do you you don't do what you love.
1380
01:37:29,000 --> 01:37:30,000
You love what you do.
1381
01:37:32,000 --> 01:37:38,000
Meaning that the government might give them a job to do when they retire from that, and then they're given another job that they do.
1382
01:37:38,000 --> 01:37:40,000
And they said he says, you don't.
1383
01:37:40,000 --> 01:37:43,000
I just love it because I was told to love it.
1384
01:37:43,000 --> 01:37:48,000
And it not being negative against the Chinese culture, not at all because I loved living in Asia.
1385
01:37:49,000 --> 01:37:56,000
So I'm trying to think about how to be able to turn some of these things, which are just really challenging all the time.
1386
01:37:56,000 --> 01:37:59,000
So I could say that I I love being challenged all the time.
1387
01:38:00,000 --> 01:38:03,000
And I do love that there's diversity of the work that I do every day.
1388
01:38:04,000 --> 01:38:07,000
And I do love the people that I interact with.
1389
01:38:07,000 --> 01:38:09,000
And I do love all of those things.
1390
01:38:10,000 --> 01:38:11,000
Just there's a lot.
1391
01:38:12,000 --> 01:38:20,000
So I could say that I don't love that there's always a lot, but I signed up for it and I could un sign.
1392
01:38:21,000 --> 01:38:27,000
I've asked my wife this, and she says she would tell me if she thinks it's the wrong thing to do.
1393
01:38:27,000 --> 01:38:30,000
So I don't know if I I I have to think about it.
1394
01:38:30,000 --> 01:38:33,000
I don't know how to turn it into something.
1395
01:38:33,000 --> 01:38:35,000
It's pushing mountains not in a negative way.
1396
01:38:35,000 --> 01:38:37,000
I don't think of it in a negative way.
1397
01:38:37,000 --> 01:38:43,000
I think of it as they're just oh, there's a lot of things that have to be done.
1398
01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:46,000
So I don't sit back and say, oh my god.
1399
01:38:46,000 --> 01:38:46,000
It's not achievable.
1400
01:38:47,000 --> 01:38:48,000
I think it's all achievable.
1401
01:38:48,000 --> 01:38:50,000
Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing it.
1402
01:38:50,000 --> 01:38:51,000
Does that make sense?
1403
01:38:51,000 --> 01:38:52,000
It makes total sense.
1404
01:38:52,000 --> 01:39:00,000
And yet, pushing mountains image gives you a feeling of being tired.
1405
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:01,000
No.
1406
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:01,000
No.
1407
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:06,000
When I say I'm pushing mountains, I just know that I have to push mountains, and I can push mountains.
1408
01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:09,000
I've done it before.
1409
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:10,000
Right.
1410
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:17,000
But, you know, as you're reflecting back on what you shared before, the feeling that you shared before when you have that image, what was that feeling?
1411
01:39:19,000 --> 01:39:21,000
The feeling was I need new skills.
1412
01:39:22,000 --> 01:39:23,000
That's it.
1413
01:39:25,000 --> 01:39:34,000
How do I how do I when you move something and and, we all have done things in our businesses that we don't like to do.
1414
01:39:35,000 --> 01:39:37,000
No one loves everything that they have in their business.
1415
01:39:37,000 --> 01:39:41,000
The accounting, the filling out the government tax forms, the getting on a plane.
1416
01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:46,000
You could love the whole thing, but you don't have to love everything you do.
1417
01:39:47,000 --> 01:39:49,000
I I can't think of any business I've owned.
1418
01:39:49,000 --> 01:39:53,000
I've loved everything that I've done because there are challenges in every one of them.
1419
01:39:53,000 --> 01:39:58,000
And in each one of them, I would say, I've never said they were mountains because they weren't as the scale wasn't there.
1420
01:39:58,000 --> 01:40:06,000
But I'm still asking how do we how do how do you make that transition by asking another set of questions?
1421
01:40:08,000 --> 01:40:11,000
Because myself, and I'm thinking of the people on our team.
1422
01:40:12,000 --> 01:40:18,000
They don't always maybe they don't want to change.
1423
01:40:19,000 --> 01:40:21,000
Maybe they don't want to see a new option.
1424
01:40:21,000 --> 01:40:23,000
I'm trying to find it.
1425
01:40:24,000 --> 01:40:30,000
So being tired is is maybe it's yeah.
1426
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:35,000
I would say that's then the wrong word because you're you've got an emotional connection to the word tired.
1427
01:40:36,000 --> 01:40:38,000
Tired is there's a lot going on.
1428
01:40:38,000 --> 01:40:39,000
I mean, yeah.
1429
01:40:39,000 --> 01:40:42,000
But I'm I get my 7 hours of sleep.
1430
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:44,000
I go through a day.
1431
01:40:44,000 --> 01:40:45,000
I'm not mean to people.
1432
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:48,000
Mix I get on calls with amazing people.
1433
01:40:49,000 --> 01:40:52,000
Things are working, but it's still tiring.
1434
01:40:53,000 --> 01:40:56,000
Like, going to the gym, when you're done, you're tired.
1435
01:40:56,000 --> 01:40:58,000
Coulda had a great workout.
1436
01:40:58,000 --> 01:41:00,000
You still can be tired when you're done.
1437
01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:02,000
Does that make sense?
1438
01:41:02,000 --> 01:41:06,000
It does make sense, but, you know, I would challenge you to listen back to our recording.
1439
01:41:07,000 --> 01:41:08,000
Oh, I do.
1440
01:41:08,000 --> 01:41:15,000
And and listen and listen back to your response initially, to that kind of similar question.
1441
01:41:16,000 --> 01:41:16,000
Right?
1442
01:41:16,000 --> 01:41:28,000
Because I remember it a little bit differently, in terms of how you were expressing your emotions when you were talking about this big mountain that you have to push every single day.
1443
01:41:29,000 --> 01:41:31,000
Well, it's a lot of mountains, not just one.
1444
01:41:31,000 --> 01:41:31,000
Mountains.
1445
01:41:31,000 --> 01:41:32,000
Right.
1446
01:41:32,000 --> 01:41:32,000
Exactly.
1447
01:41:32,000 --> 01:41:33,000
So mountains.
1448
01:41:33,000 --> 01:41:37,000
And I and I do see them as mountains because they're 40 year plans.
1449
01:41:38,000 --> 01:41:41,000
So should I give it I mean, you don't give advice.
1450
01:41:42,000 --> 01:41:43,000
So that's a okay.
1451
01:41:43,000 --> 01:41:47,000
So so how do you create that clear goal then?
1452
01:41:47,000 --> 01:41:57,000
So, yeah, so the next question would be for you, to ponder, what image, like, what image because you said many mountains.
1453
01:41:58,000 --> 01:41:58,000
Yeah.
1454
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:09,000
What other image you could replace it with that wouldn't feel as overwhelming and yet realistic enough?
1455
01:42:09,000 --> 01:42:15,000
I don't again, I don't feel overwhelmed, but what imagery does come to mind for you when I say I
1456
01:42:15,000 --> 01:42:16,000
don't know.
1457
01:42:16,000 --> 01:42:17,000
I mean, I don't know.
1458
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:17,000
I just
1459
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:17,000
No.
1460
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:30,000
When I when I when you heard it, if you were to substitute out because it's not about coaching, it's about helping, what imagery comes to mind when you think of let's say someone said to you, I feel overwhelmed.
1461
01:42:30,000 --> 01:42:35,000
Or what do you think of when you change it from overwhelmed to something else?
1462
01:42:35,000 --> 01:42:36,000
What do you do?
1463
01:42:36,000 --> 01:42:50,000
Well, you know, so overwhelm, the opposite of overwhelm could be many different things depending, not only depending on the person, but also depending on what that person is overwhelmed with.
1464
01:42:50,000 --> 01:42:59,000
So, the opposite of overwhelm could be peace of mind, or could be what whatever other phrase.
1465
01:42:59,000 --> 01:43:00,000
It could be peace of mind.
1466
01:43:00,000 --> 01:43:03,000
It could be, feeling more creative.
1467
01:43:03,000 --> 01:43:11,000
It could be, having better strategies so that or hiring other people.
1468
01:43:11,000 --> 01:43:14,000
It could be, like, I could be actually seeing that in my mind's eye.
1469
01:43:14,000 --> 01:43:15,000
Right?
1470
01:43:15,000 --> 01:43:24,000
I could be seeing solutions because usually when we ask questions, a lot of times people actually jump to seeing solutions, like, almost right away.
1471
01:43:24,000 --> 01:43:30,000
I mean, David, you were talking a lot about creating systems and strategies, in your book.
1472
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:30,000
Right?
1473
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:52,000
And, so the next logical thing that comes to mind, what other strategies and systems may be put in place so that it wouldn't feel so it wouldn't feel like there's that that many, there are so many, things to so many mountains to to move.
1474
01:43:52,000 --> 01:43:52,000
Right?
1475
01:43:52,000 --> 01:43:57,000
But then again, I don't know because you I I'm hearing 2 different things from you, actually.
1476
01:43:57,000 --> 01:43:57,000
Sure.
1477
01:43:57,000 --> 01:44:04,000
I'm hearing on one hand, you you did say it in the beginning that it feel I maybe you did I don't remember if you used the word overwhelming.
1478
01:44:05,000 --> 01:44:07,000
But I don't I don't use that word.
1479
01:44:07,000 --> 01:44:07,000
So yeah.
1480
01:44:07,000 --> 01:44:08,000
It would be something else.
1481
01:44:08,000 --> 01:44:15,000
But you used something that gave me the feeling that you were describing an incredible level of overwhelm.
1482
01:44:16,000 --> 01:44:19,000
So what So that's not that's not the definition, so I apologize for that.
1483
01:44:19,000 --> 01:44:19,000
No.
1484
01:44:19,000 --> 01:44:20,000
I don't feel overwhelmed.
1485
01:44:22,000 --> 01:44:28,000
I feel that I've got to make a transition to in some areas, to improve my performance.
1486
01:44:28,000 --> 01:44:33,000
So the secret is I get pod I create podcasts to learn from people.
1487
01:44:33,000 --> 01:44:35,000
That's the reason the podcast came about.
1488
01:44:35,000 --> 01:44:37,000
It was how can I learn from people?
1489
01:44:37,000 --> 01:44:41,000
Not for the economics, not for getting the name out there.
1490
01:44:41,000 --> 01:44:48,000
The number one reason you can see it everywhere on anything that has to do with our podcast, and this goes back to the first podcast in 1999 or something.
1491
01:44:49,000 --> 01:44:51,000
They all were about how can I learn?
1492
01:44:52,000 --> 01:44:52,000
Right.
1493
01:44:53,000 --> 01:45:00,000
So I find people like you when I've got another one tomorrow, and I've got 2 next week, is so that I can hear different perspectives.
1494
01:45:04,000 --> 01:45:04,000
Yeah.
1495
01:45:04,000 --> 01:45:10,000
I mean, it's I I I appreciate that, and I think that it's about asking the right questions.
1496
01:45:10,000 --> 01:45:23,000
So, like, I don't know, how someone else is feeling, and, I don't know how, what metaphor someone else can be seeing in their mind's eye.
1497
01:45:25,000 --> 01:45:33,000
And I don't know, actually, many mountains could be a good thing for someone who likes a lot of things, a lot of action.
1498
01:45:33,000 --> 01:45:37,000
And, you know, but, you did say I'm tired.
1499
01:45:38,000 --> 01:45:42,000
And then it was clarified that you are not tired physically, but you're tired in other ways.
1500
01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:50,000
And so I think that, you know, when we are tired, we're not really even bringing ourselves 100% anyway.
1501
01:45:50,000 --> 01:45:52,000
So what are your thoughts about that?
1502
01:45:52,000 --> 01:46:09,000
Let's so I would say that you, the many mountains became a metaphor for people to understand that we are not there there are in a mountain range, there are a lot of mountains to create a mountain range.
1503
01:46:10,000 --> 01:46:15,000
In in people might say we have a lot of projects to work on.
1504
01:46:15,000 --> 01:46:20,000
But if you looked at the scale, size, and scope, people kinda push back because it's they're they're large enough.
1505
01:46:20,000 --> 01:46:23,000
They feel like they're they've gotta be moved individually.
1506
01:46:24,000 --> 01:46:28,000
So tired in other ways am I tired in other ways?
1507
01:46:29,000 --> 01:46:29,000
Yeah.
1508
01:46:29,000 --> 01:46:30,000
There's not a physical.
1509
01:46:30,000 --> 01:46:35,000
I I still have all the energy I need, and I'm ready to rock and roll every day.
1510
01:46:36,000 --> 01:46:39,000
Do I feel giving it a 100%?
1511
01:46:40,000 --> 01:46:43,000
I would say there's no you can't do a 110%.
1512
01:46:43,000 --> 01:46:44,000
That's impossible.
1513
01:46:44,000 --> 01:46:46,000
I I love when people say give it a 110%.
1514
01:46:46,000 --> 01:46:48,000
An engine burns out at a 110%.
1515
01:46:49,000 --> 01:46:55,000
I would say the sine wave or the wave of work, I am a sprinter.
1516
01:46:56,000 --> 01:46:59,000
I can really turn it on, then I need to turn it off.
1517
01:46:59,000 --> 01:47:01,000
Then I really turn it on, then I need that break.
1518
01:47:02,000 --> 01:47:03,000
And I know that.
1519
01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:04,000
I've learned that over time.
1520
01:47:04,000 --> 01:47:05,000
I'm not the everyday person.
1521
01:47:06,000 --> 01:47:11,000
So, for example, my wife and I have worked together for 37 years, 38 years.
1522
01:47:11,000 --> 01:47:15,000
She she's more day to day, very consistent on it.
1523
01:47:15,000 --> 01:47:18,000
I'm the person who goes out and bam, gets it done.
1524
01:47:18,000 --> 01:47:19,000
And then I need some of the break.
1525
01:47:19,000 --> 01:47:23,000
So I actually live within my rhythm, if you wanna say.
1526
01:47:24,000 --> 01:47:30,000
But the ideas of systems and structure, how do I get them done faster?
1527
01:47:30,000 --> 01:47:31,000
That's right.
1528
01:47:31,000 --> 01:47:33,000
How do I get them created faster?
1529
01:47:34,000 --> 01:47:35,000
I don't I don't know.
1530
01:47:35,000 --> 01:47:37,000
I haven't been able to solve that.
1531
01:47:39,000 --> 01:47:39,000
Right.
1532
01:47:39,000 --> 01:47:46,000
Another question is actually, since we're looking at a 40 year span Yeah.
1533
01:47:46,000 --> 01:47:51,000
For this project and, you already saying that you are tired.
1534
01:47:52,000 --> 01:48:05,000
So how sustainable is your energy going to be, you know, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years from now, and all the way to a 100 years old?
1535
01:48:05,000 --> 01:48:05,000
You know?
1536
01:48:05,000 --> 01:48:07,000
So I mean, all of those questions.
1537
01:48:07,000 --> 01:48:09,000
My immediate reaction is unbelievable.
1538
01:48:10,000 --> 01:48:11,000
We'll be able to do it.
1539
01:48:11,000 --> 01:48:12,000
Not even an issue.
1540
01:48:12,000 --> 01:48:12,000
Amazing.
1541
01:48:12,000 --> 01:48:18,000
So you you one of your first questions of, me was, what is missing?
1542
01:48:18,000 --> 01:48:19,000
How do I answer that question?
1543
01:48:20,000 --> 01:48:20,000
Yeah.
1544
01:48:20,000 --> 01:48:30,000
So, I mean, we're going we look we're kind of what working around the circle because I ask a question and then you respond and say, well, actually, I don't have a problem with that.
1545
01:48:30,000 --> 01:48:31,000
I don't have a problem with that.
1546
01:48:31,000 --> 01:48:38,000
Then we go into another question and you're going you know, you're giving me a lot of lot of details and you say a lot of different things.
1547
01:48:38,000 --> 01:48:39,000
And you say, well, no.
1548
01:48:39,000 --> 01:48:40,000
Actually, I'm good.
1549
01:48:40,000 --> 01:48:42,000
I don't need I don't
1550
01:48:42,000 --> 01:48:44,000
need I don't need It's not I I would never say that I'm good.
1551
01:48:44,000 --> 01:48:46,000
I would I don't live in the past at all.
1552
01:48:46,000 --> 01:48:48,000
I mean, I don't think I don't spend time.
1553
01:48:48,000 --> 01:48:54,000
So my the it's not that I'm good because I wouldn't be on the call if I didn't think that I needed to evolve.
1554
01:48:54,000 --> 01:48:55,000
No.
1555
01:48:55,000 --> 01:48:58,000
I'm talking about specifically answering that question, what's missing.
1556
01:48:58,000 --> 01:49:00,000
So you it's like, I'm good in terms of yeah.
1557
01:49:00,000 --> 01:49:01,000
That's not it.
1558
01:49:01,000 --> 01:49:02,000
So you answer the question.
1559
01:49:02,000 --> 01:49:05,000
You're like, oh, you we explored a little bit, and you're like, no.
1560
01:49:05,000 --> 01:49:06,000
That's not it.
1561
01:49:06,000 --> 01:49:07,000
And then something else that is not it.
1562
01:49:07,000 --> 01:49:09,000
I didn't I don't think I did that.
1563
01:49:09,000 --> 01:49:12,000
I when you use words like overwhelmed, that's not what I would say.
1564
01:49:13,000 --> 01:49:24,000
If I did say I was tired, yeah, there are many days during the week where I say I think it was and I don't quote many, people like this, but Elon did say, I think just recently, that's why I'm using it.
1565
01:49:24,000 --> 01:49:28,000
He said the first three months of starting a business are exciting and fun.
1566
01:49:28,000 --> 01:49:31,000
And after that, it's just a lot of work.
1567
01:49:32,000 --> 01:49:32,000
Yeah.
1568
01:49:32,000 --> 01:49:34,000
And it just is.
1569
01:49:35,000 --> 01:49:35,000
Okay.
1570
01:49:35,000 --> 01:49:36,000
It just is.
1571
01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:36,000
Right?
1572
01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:39,000
I mean, you've known entrepreneurs.
1573
01:49:39,000 --> 01:49:40,000
You're an entrepreneur.
1574
01:49:40,000 --> 01:49:42,000
Is every day a great day?
1575
01:49:44,000 --> 01:49:45,000
That's not realistic.
1576
01:49:45,000 --> 01:49:45,000
Right?
1577
01:49:46,000 --> 01:49:46,000
Yeah.
1578
01:49:46,000 --> 01:49:48,000
So yes.
1579
01:49:48,000 --> 01:49:50,000
So but still back to your question.
1580
01:49:50,000 --> 01:49:51,000
Sure.
1581
01:49:51,000 --> 01:49:52,000
What is missing?
1582
01:49:52,000 --> 01:49:56,000
So what is missing for you somehow is connected.
1583
01:49:56,000 --> 01:49:57,000
How do I make it faster?
1584
01:49:58,000 --> 01:49:59,000
That's one of them.
1585
01:49:59,000 --> 01:50:00,000
Yes.
1586
01:50:00,000 --> 01:50:01,000
Very much.
1587
01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:01,000
It's one of them.
1588
01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:04,000
And so and there are other questions too.
1589
01:50:04,000 --> 01:50:09,000
So when we're talking about defining a goal, we can only talk about one thing.
1590
01:50:09,000 --> 01:50:11,000
So is it about what's missing?
1591
01:50:11,000 --> 01:50:14,000
Is it about something else for you?
1592
01:50:14,000 --> 01:50:21,000
And then you can start because one question, if as you start responding to that question, is going to lead you to another question.
1593
01:50:21,000 --> 01:50:26,000
And you kinda drill down until you found until you find the actual answer.
1594
01:50:27,000 --> 01:50:29,000
It's not the process that's just going to okay.
1595
01:50:29,000 --> 01:50:33,000
Just just gonna one answer, one question, another question, we're done.
1596
01:50:33,000 --> 01:50:35,000
It doesn't work like that.
1597
01:50:35,000 --> 01:50:35,000
Right?
1598
01:50:35,000 --> 01:50:40,000
And sometimes the answer could be something that you don't want to hear.
1599
01:50:40,000 --> 01:50:41,000
I mean, you know, the
1600
01:50:41,000 --> 01:50:42,000
answer Yeah.
1601
01:50:42,000 --> 01:50:42,000
Yeah.
1602
01:50:42,000 --> 01:50:42,000
Absolutely.
1603
01:50:43,000 --> 01:50:44,000
Yeah.
1604
01:50:44,000 --> 01:50:57,000
And, actually, it reminds me one of your TED Talks when you were showing in the PowerPoint, like, some that I don't remember exactly what it was, but you were giving an example that, you can't, like, want something that's, like, out there.
1605
01:50:57,000 --> 01:51:00,000
You have to really talk about your purpose.
1606
01:51:00,000 --> 01:51:05,000
You have to talk about to be more specific in terms of what is it that you really want.
1607
01:51:05,000 --> 01:51:08,000
Oh, that was the redefining in Dubai.
1608
01:51:08,000 --> 01:51:08,000
Right.
1609
01:51:09,000 --> 01:51:10,000
Exactly that.
1610
01:51:10,000 --> 01:51:11,000
So it's kinda along those lines, you can.
1611
01:51:11,000 --> 01:51:17,000
So because I think that the question, what am I missing is so general.
1612
01:51:18,000 --> 01:51:19,000
What am I missing?
1613
01:51:20,000 --> 01:51:28,000
If I would have been asking myself that question, I could have, like, because you're asking me what I would have been answering if I would be kind of self coaching.
1614
01:51:28,000 --> 01:51:30,000
Again, it depends on what is it about.
1615
01:51:30,000 --> 01:51:32,000
Is it about my fitness routine?
1616
01:51:32,000 --> 01:51:33,000
Is it about my business?
1617
01:51:35,000 --> 01:51:40,000
Even because you're talking about your business evidently, but even if it's about my business, what phase of my business?
1618
01:51:40,000 --> 01:51:42,000
What aspect of my business?
1619
01:51:43,000 --> 01:52:05,000
How does, that even quest how does this question in itself, connects to my personality and, what I represent in you know, what I represent and what, obstacles, what challenges, may be arising due to my personality.
1620
01:52:05,000 --> 01:52:11,000
Like, for instance, I know of myself I'm extremely controlling, and I love when you were saying that, you know, actually, it's not such a bad thing.
1621
01:52:11,000 --> 01:52:14,000
You know, micromanagement is, you know,
1622
01:52:14,000 --> 01:52:15,000
we have to do anything.
1623
01:52:15,000 --> 01:52:15,000
To think.
1624
01:52:15,000 --> 01:52:16,000
Yes.
1625
01:52:16,000 --> 01:52:17,000
It depends on how you do it.
1626
01:52:17,000 --> 01:52:21,000
So but maybe sometimes I'm sure I'm doing it wrong.
1627
01:52:21,000 --> 01:52:23,000
Sometimes I'm sure I'm doing it right.
1628
01:52:23,000 --> 01:52:24,000
But it's those questions.
1629
01:52:24,000 --> 01:52:25,000
How do you do it?
1630
01:52:25,000 --> 01:52:26,000
What do you need?
1631
01:52:26,000 --> 01:52:32,000
And what what do you want to really look at specifically to identify what's missing?
1632
01:52:32,000 --> 01:52:40,000
Because there's just millions of different areas in our minds, even about each single aspect of what we do.
1633
01:52:40,000 --> 01:52:45,000
And so the more you narrow down your question, the the better answer you'll be able to
1634
01:52:45,000 --> 01:52:46,000
Which is redefining.
1635
01:52:46,000 --> 01:52:47,000
Yes.
1636
01:52:47,000 --> 01:52:47,000
Exactly.
1637
01:52:48,000 --> 01:52:52,000
So if I was to be more precise, and thank you, I am completely vague in that.
1638
01:52:52,000 --> 01:53:02,000
When I'm saying what am I missing, I'm saying to myself, what am I missing in my skills to be able to grow the people and the organization?
1639
01:53:02,000 --> 01:53:08,000
Both in Synchronoss Systems and Structured Design, Technologies, Tools, and Leveraging.
1640
01:53:08,000 --> 01:53:15,000
And those that are involved in it so that we can accelerate and meet the timelines and deadlines we're looking to accomplish.
1641
01:53:15,000 --> 01:53:18,000
So if I was to be more precise, it's not about the systems and structure.
1642
01:53:18,000 --> 01:53:20,000
We're very good at that.
1643
01:53:20,000 --> 01:53:24,000
I can find any document going back to 1999 within less than 2 minutes.
1644
01:53:24,000 --> 01:53:25,000
We're very good at that.
1645
01:53:25,000 --> 01:53:26,000
We have a CRM system.
1646
01:53:26,000 --> 01:53:31,000
We have 30,000 names in our personal my personal database is 30,000 names.
1647
01:53:31,000 --> 01:53:35,000
I could tell you what happened in 2009 by just typing in a few, letters.
1648
01:53:36,000 --> 01:53:37,000
I mean, all those things are easy.
1649
01:53:38,000 --> 01:53:40,000
Mine is being the the person that I need to be.
1650
01:53:40,000 --> 01:53:55,000
So when I ask that question, and you're right, and if you even go to the one in do in Hong Kong, I address it there too, is it's trying to figure out what am I missing because I've pushed certain things to their end.
1651
01:53:56,000 --> 01:54:01,000
The equipment can't it doesn't we we we need to make another jump.
1652
01:54:02,000 --> 01:54:11,000
And I believe, maybe I'm wrong, my evolutionary change will help those around me make their transitions.
1653
01:54:12,000 --> 01:54:23,000
So when I say it that way, you're you're absolutely right in the things that you were just outlining, getting another question and being imprecise in the way in which I formulated that state that challenge statement.
1654
01:54:25,000 --> 01:54:27,000
It is specific in my end.
1655
01:54:27,000 --> 01:54:27,000
Yes.
1656
01:54:28,000 --> 01:54:30,000
It's in this one categorical place.
1657
01:54:31,000 --> 01:54:31,000
Mhmm.
1658
01:54:31,000 --> 01:54:38,000
How am I in these areas that the organization needs being able to do?
1659
01:54:38,000 --> 01:54:39,000
And I'll be very precise.
1660
01:54:40,000 --> 01:54:43,000
I wanna lead from behind, not as much from in the front.
1661
01:54:44,000 --> 01:54:47,000
And there's a huge difference between that in terms of strategic positioning.
1662
01:54:48,000 --> 01:54:58,000
So that means we have to grow people faster or find the right people in the right places or build the systems and structure and build the systems and structure so those individuals can thrive.
1663
01:54:59,000 --> 01:55:03,000
So it's very precise in the type of skill set that I'm looking for.
1664
01:55:03,000 --> 01:55:04,000
Absolutely.
1665
01:55:04,000 --> 01:55:05,000
Okay.
1666
01:55:05,000 --> 01:55:08,000
Well, that's we're getting some place there now.
1667
01:55:08,000 --> 01:55:09,000
Right?
1668
01:55:09,000 --> 01:55:09,000
Right.
1669
01:55:09,000 --> 01:55:24,000
So if you have that awareness, then, are those, do you what might be a clue that you have about a specific set of skill that you're looking for?
1670
01:55:26,000 --> 01:55:26,000
Okay.
1671
01:55:27,000 --> 01:55:28,000
So what would be a clue?
1672
01:55:30,000 --> 01:55:35,000
I guess it's funny because it's there are a few individuals worldwide that we have.
1673
01:55:36,000 --> 01:55:37,000
These conversations are more challenging.
1674
01:55:38,000 --> 01:55:49,000
Is that the trying to say it in the right way because of the redefining.
1675
01:55:50,000 --> 01:55:53,000
And it's a great tool, by the way, at redefining.
1676
01:55:53,000 --> 01:55:54,000
It's absolutely amazing.
1677
01:55:54,000 --> 01:56:02,000
And I will toss out while I'm thinking that they screwed up in Dubai with the recording, like, 5 times when I started.
1678
01:56:02,000 --> 01:56:05,000
And I kept on telling them they have to redo it again.
1679
01:56:05,000 --> 01:56:07,000
So I actually walked on stage 5 times.
1680
01:56:07,000 --> 01:56:08,000
No.
1681
01:56:08,000 --> 01:56:08,000
No.
1682
01:56:08,000 --> 01:56:08,000
No.
1683
01:56:08,000 --> 01:56:09,000
We're not using this.
1684
01:56:09,000 --> 01:56:10,000
You missed it.
1685
01:56:10,000 --> 01:56:11,000
Where's the where's this?
1686
01:56:11,000 --> 01:56:12,000
Where's the sign?
1687
01:56:12,000 --> 01:56:13,000
Where's the this?
1688
01:56:14,000 --> 01:56:16,000
And they knew that they had screwed up on it.
1689
01:56:16,000 --> 01:56:18,000
They'd something was just wrong with all their tech.
1690
01:56:18,000 --> 01:56:20,000
But it would ends up being good presentation.
1691
01:56:20,000 --> 01:56:28,000
So I would say that I'm I believe the systems and structure, the design, the tools, and pay to think, the approach that we're using is okay.
1692
01:56:29,000 --> 01:56:39,000
That part of the challenge is that individuals who are looking at the project we're working on have a challenge getting their mind around it.
1693
01:56:39,000 --> 01:56:43,000
And I haven't figured out that solution yet.
1694
01:56:43,000 --> 01:56:48,000
Meaning, when people hear what we're working on, even Gueter, what's it?
1695
01:56:48,000 --> 01:56:50,000
What I don't remember his last name.
1696
01:56:50,000 --> 01:56:55,000
Gueter said and he's the con the foremost expert on context variation by design in the world.
1697
01:56:56,000 --> 01:56:57,000
He's and he wrote a paper on us.
1698
01:56:58,000 --> 01:57:00,000
He said, I don't know how to think this big.
1699
01:57:02,000 --> 01:57:10,000
The one of the SpaceX number 4 hire, Hans Koonesmann, he said, I don't think SpaceX is thinking as big as you are.
1700
01:57:12,000 --> 01:57:13,000
We get that all the time.
1701
01:57:14,000 --> 01:57:24,000
So I'm I think that one of the key pieces, we're working on it, we are, is how to be and I'm not the person who can figure it out by myself.
1702
01:57:24,000 --> 01:57:25,000
I know that.
1703
01:57:25,000 --> 01:57:27,000
How do we make that work?
1704
01:57:28,000 --> 01:57:30,000
How do how do you get people to think bigger?
1705
01:57:31,000 --> 01:57:31,000
Do we need to?
1706
01:57:31,000 --> 01:57:33,000
And in some cases, no.
1707
01:57:33,000 --> 01:57:38,000
But in certain cases, we need to get people to be able to understand something that just it's different.
1708
01:57:39,000 --> 01:57:41,000
And I don't I I'm looking for answers.
1709
01:57:41,000 --> 01:57:42,000
I don't know.
1710
01:57:42,000 --> 01:57:48,000
As you as you were listening to yourself, processing out loud Yeah.
1711
01:57:48,000 --> 01:58:01,000
How does it get you closer to understanding what skill set is specifically missing in terms of clues that I was referring to for you, for your skill set?
1712
01:58:03,000 --> 01:58:06,000
Well, it gets get me closer to finding that answer.
1713
01:58:07,000 --> 01:58:17,000
It's, for me personally, I don't have an answer for that.
1714
01:58:17,000 --> 01:58:20,000
For the things that we're doing already, because that race through my mind.
1715
01:58:20,000 --> 01:58:21,000
I had 2 things.
1716
01:58:21,000 --> 01:58:22,000
1 was, what are we doing already?
1717
01:58:22,000 --> 01:58:24,000
And the second one is, what do I need?
1718
01:58:24,000 --> 01:58:37,000
What we're doing already is we're working on several pieces of it, but identifying and finding the individuals that can help us are still a little bit elusive.
1719
01:58:40,000 --> 01:58:41,000
And I'm doing podcasts.
1720
01:58:41,000 --> 01:58:43,000
I'm reaching out.
1721
01:58:43,000 --> 01:58:43,000
I'm connecting.
1722
01:58:43,000 --> 01:58:45,000
I'm sharing the story.
1723
01:58:45,000 --> 01:58:47,000
I'm trying to find new people in different ecosystems.
1724
01:58:48,000 --> 01:58:58,000
I I haven't found, I don't know if there'll be a magic bullet, but I haven't found that thing.
1725
01:58:59,000 --> 01:59:09,000
That's where that's why reshaping tomorrow thinking differently was that I like the title because wanna figure out what's that what am I missing?
1726
01:59:10,000 --> 01:59:25,000
Like, I somebody else I think has to help me see what I'm missing so that I can uncover it, discover it, redefine it, reuse it, retool it into the into something that can make it work.
1727
01:59:25,000 --> 01:59:26,000
That makes sense.
1728
01:59:27,000 --> 01:59:35,000
Well, so what I'm hearing is that, there isn't a certainty whether anything is missing, in fact, or not.
1729
01:59:36,000 --> 01:59:41,000
But, you kinda thinking that there may be something missing.
1730
01:59:41,000 --> 01:59:42,000
And then Yes.
1731
01:59:42,000 --> 01:59:43,000
When the You
1732
01:59:43,000 --> 01:59:45,000
you're absolutely correct in the way you assisted.
1733
01:59:45,000 --> 01:59:45,000
Correct.
1734
01:59:45,000 --> 01:59:46,000
Yep.
1735
01:59:46,000 --> 01:59:51,000
And then when you're asking yourself that question, and when you're answering I'm sorry.
1736
01:59:51,000 --> 02:00:09,000
When you're answering that question out loud, right now with us here together, you're going into what you were doing and what other people are doing and expecting, but not about actual clue of what may be missing in your skill set.
1737
02:00:09,000 --> 02:00:12,000
And so when I'm reflecting it back to you, what are your thoughts?
1738
02:00:12,000 --> 02:00:13,000
Uh-huh.
1739
02:00:16,000 --> 02:00:18,000
The I'm tying this to creating a goal.
1740
02:00:18,000 --> 02:00:25,000
So that's what I'm trying to do in my head, which is the bullet point, not number 3 or 4, and then decision making.
1741
02:00:27,000 --> 02:00:32,000
I'm asking myself if maybe the question is the wrong question.
1742
02:00:32,000 --> 02:00:32,000
Mhmm.
1743
02:00:32,000 --> 02:00:34,000
Which is what you just defined.
1744
02:00:35,000 --> 02:00:38,000
Maybe we are on the right track and we just let it run.
1745
02:00:39,000 --> 02:00:53,000
I don't there's a side of me that doesn't like to I don't like to tell myself or become too the word English word, which is not a great word, cocky.
1746
02:00:54,000 --> 02:00:56,000
I don't want to be that person.
1747
02:00:56,000 --> 02:01:04,000
So to me, and maybe it's a poor definition, to feel that I absolutely have the answer sounds like an arrogance.
1748
02:01:05,000 --> 02:01:15,000
So by saying it the way I'm saying it, I'm trying I'm forcing myself using language to be open to hearing other thoughts.
1749
02:01:18,000 --> 02:01:35,000
It's very interesting because, most people would feel that when they're describing everything that they do and how they do well, maybe a little self conscious in that on that front.
1750
02:01:35,000 --> 02:01:35,000
You know?
1751
02:01:35,000 --> 02:01:51,000
But, I think that, what I'm hearing is that I'm just thinking, how does it really connect to a skill set that may be or may not be missing?
1752
02:01:51,000 --> 02:01:55,000
And to maybe it's a wrong question altogether, actually.
1753
02:01:56,000 --> 02:01:58,000
How far have you gotten in Paid to Think?
1754
02:02:00,000 --> 02:02:00,000
Two chapters.
1755
02:02:01,000 --> 02:02:01,000
Okay.
1756
02:02:01,000 --> 02:02:05,000
In those two chapters, there's a lot of rethinking everything.
1757
02:02:05,000 --> 02:02:07,000
I think what's the name the second chapter?
1758
02:02:07,000 --> 02:02:08,000
Is it called rethinking?
1759
02:02:08,000 --> 02:02:09,000
I don't even remember.
1760
02:02:12,000 --> 02:02:14,000
There's a lot of counterintuitiveness in there.
1761
02:02:16,000 --> 02:02:21,000
Now there's phrases that we use that we bite into and they just don't make any sense.
1762
02:02:22,000 --> 02:02:26,000
And that chapter is really redefining chapter.
1763
02:02:26,000 --> 02:02:33,000
It's making you rethink things to say, am I am I missing or I never looked at it that way.
1764
02:02:33,000 --> 02:02:41,000
So I've done a lot of that, and maybe I should not be looking in this one category and say that I am.
1765
02:02:42,000 --> 02:02:43,000
So I could say, no.
1766
02:02:43,000 --> 02:02:46,000
I'm on a good path and we're going this way.
1767
02:02:46,000 --> 02:02:47,000
And I think that it's good.
1768
02:02:49,000 --> 02:02:53,000
I don't I don't know how to accept that.
1769
02:02:55,000 --> 02:02:57,000
Well That's what's going through my mind.
1770
02:02:57,000 --> 02:02:57,000
Okay.
1771
02:02:57,000 --> 02:03:00,000
I don't because I'm looking at a may may you have 2 of them.
1772
02:03:00,000 --> 02:03:04,000
You have clear goal and making important decisions Mhmm.
1773
02:03:04,000 --> 02:03:06,000
Which is your next one after it.
1774
02:03:06,000 --> 02:03:06,000
Mhmm.
1775
02:03:06,000 --> 02:03:13,000
So I'm asking myself, is that a good macro tactic, which you'll get into chapter 3?
1776
02:03:13,000 --> 02:03:19,000
Is that a good acceptance that I should employ?
1777
02:03:19,000 --> 02:03:20,000
I don't know.
1778
02:03:20,000 --> 02:03:22,000
It's a I got a smile on my face.
1779
02:03:22,000 --> 02:03:23,000
I don't know.
1780
02:03:25,000 --> 02:03:32,000
You think that I I I I have a lot of questions all the time, and I I hope that those questions keep me young.
1781
02:03:32,000 --> 02:03:32,000
Mhmm.
1782
02:03:32,000 --> 02:03:33,000
I mean,
1783
02:03:33,000 --> 02:03:35,000
I had a I had a guy on a call today.
1784
02:03:35,000 --> 02:03:41,000
5th at one point, he was talking about having to give it up and passing the baton and his lifetime.
1785
02:03:41,000 --> 02:03:43,000
And I said, wait.
1786
02:03:43,000 --> 02:03:44,000
How old are you?
1787
02:03:44,000 --> 02:03:46,000
And he says, oh, I'm 57.
1788
02:03:47,000 --> 02:03:51,000
And he said it in a way that it was almost as if he was dead.
1789
02:03:52,000 --> 02:03:54,000
Like and I've I've said to people this all the time.
1790
02:03:54,000 --> 02:03:58,000
People live to 35 and they die at 70 or 80.
1791
02:03:59,000 --> 02:04:01,000
They once they get there, they don't transform.
1792
02:04:01,000 --> 02:04:02,000
And I unbelievable.
1793
02:04:03,000 --> 02:04:04,000
I'm thinking, oh my god.
1794
02:04:04,000 --> 02:04:07,000
If I thought that way, I would never get up in the morning.
1795
02:04:09,000 --> 02:04:10,000
So I don't know.
1796
02:04:11,000 --> 02:04:18,000
And I'm I'm not trying to I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass, and I'm not trying to use a swear, but I used to swear because that's what came to mind.
1797
02:04:18,000 --> 02:04:20,000
I'm not trying to be a pain.
1798
02:04:20,000 --> 02:04:26,000
I'm trying to figure out this thinking differently.
1799
02:04:26,000 --> 02:04:26,000
Right.
1800
02:04:26,000 --> 02:04:40,000
What what am I again, what am I missing in the construct of helping our team, helping our team, helping the individuals we work with to overcome what they might have that I might have.
1801
02:04:41,000 --> 02:04:47,000
Well and just a few minutes ago, you you I heard that it may be the wrong question.
1802
02:04:48,000 --> 02:04:49,000
Mhmm.
1803
02:04:49,000 --> 02:04:52,000
So what would be the right question that you want to ask yourself?
1804
02:04:57,000 --> 02:05:03,000
I don't like any of the answers that flew through my head, but they were things like just accept it, move on, and take it.
1805
02:05:03,000 --> 02:05:11,000
And I'm like, oh, that that that is just to me putting your concrete, cinder blocks around your feet.
1806
02:05:12,000 --> 02:05:12,000
There's the imagery.
1807
02:05:13,000 --> 02:05:13,000
Mhmm.
1808
02:05:13,000 --> 02:05:21,000
Just saying that you know the answer so convincingly, that would be putting concrete blocks.
1809
02:05:21,000 --> 02:05:29,000
I would I could say that maybe in this one space or the one challenge that I'm addressing, let it run.
1810
02:05:29,000 --> 02:05:30,000
It's working.
1811
02:05:31,000 --> 02:05:32,000
I could say that.
1812
02:05:34,000 --> 02:05:35,000
Would that change things?
1813
02:05:36,000 --> 02:05:36,000
Yeah.
1814
02:05:36,000 --> 02:05:38,000
It would definitely change things.
1815
02:05:38,000 --> 02:05:39,000
I mean, there's no doubt about it.
1816
02:05:40,000 --> 02:05:45,000
Do I feel comfortable as a goal to shift?
1817
02:05:46,000 --> 02:05:47,000
I don't know.
1818
02:05:47,000 --> 02:05:47,000
Mhmm.
1819
02:05:47,000 --> 02:05:50,000
I I'm I'm uneasy, I would say.
1820
02:05:50,000 --> 02:05:53,000
See see how I don't use the word s t?
1821
02:05:53,000 --> 02:05:53,000
Yeah.
1822
02:05:53,000 --> 02:05:54,000
I'm uneasy.
1823
02:05:54,000 --> 02:05:54,000
That's a better word.
1824
02:05:54,000 --> 02:05:55,000
Yeah.
1825
02:05:55,000 --> 02:06:02,000
I'm uneasy with that thought of complete acceptance of it.
1826
02:06:02,000 --> 02:06:16,000
So I have actually so, this is really good for our conversation because the goal, for instance, judging I mean, receiving what you just shared
1827
02:06:16,000 --> 02:06:16,000
Yeah.
1828
02:06:17,000 --> 02:06:18,000
Could be self acceptance.
1829
02:06:18,000 --> 02:06:25,000
A better self acceptance could be a clear goal could be a goal that we could be establishing, for instance.
1830
02:06:25,000 --> 02:06:25,000
Right?
1831
02:06:25,000 --> 02:06:30,000
And then, again, it goes all to the internal internal internal internal.
1832
02:06:30,000 --> 02:06:44,000
And then if you, so and what you were saying, let's let it run, and then you gotta change the, kind of metaphor that didn't make you feel good to a different metaphor that made you feel better, but still there's uncomfort.
1833
02:06:44,000 --> 02:06:46,000
There's a certain level of uneasiness.
1834
02:06:47,000 --> 02:06:53,000
I would say that, whenever we go through any change, and I know that you wrote about change as well.
1835
02:06:53,000 --> 02:06:53,000
Right?
1836
02:06:53,000 --> 02:06:59,000
Whenever we go through any change, it may be something that we're just not used to.
1837
02:06:59,000 --> 02:07:04,000
So we have to adjust to it, and it may not be comfortable even when it's a positive change.
1838
02:07:05,000 --> 02:07:07,000
Like, for instance, someone gets married.
1839
02:07:07,000 --> 02:07:07,000
Right?
1840
02:07:07,000 --> 02:07:09,000
You buy a new house.
1841
02:07:09,000 --> 02:07:13,000
It's a beautiful house, but you may not even get used to.
1842
02:07:13,000 --> 02:07:16,000
Like, I I live in a new house for 7 years.
1843
02:07:16,000 --> 02:07:20,000
I still trying to turn on the switch that doesn't exist on the wall.
1844
02:07:20,000 --> 02:07:21,000
Okay.
1845
02:07:21,000 --> 02:07:21,000
Right?
1846
02:07:22,000 --> 02:07:22,000
And Yeah.
1847
02:07:22,000 --> 02:07:25,000
It's like so we are creatures of habit.
1848
02:07:25,000 --> 02:07:32,000
And to break a habit and to get open to something else is also a sign of growth.
1849
02:07:33,000 --> 02:07:33,000
Right?
1850
02:07:33,000 --> 02:07:34,000
And so Yeah.
1851
02:07:34,000 --> 02:07:42,000
And, you, both of us, we pride ourselves on being able to keep growing despite of our age.
1852
02:07:43,000 --> 02:07:43,000
Right?
1853
02:07:44,000 --> 02:07:49,000
So as we keep growing, that's that's that's beautiful.
1854
02:07:49,000 --> 02:07:50,000
Right?
1855
02:07:50,000 --> 02:07:50,000
Yeah.
1856
02:07:52,000 --> 02:07:52,000
Yeah.
1857
02:07:52,000 --> 02:07:52,000
Yeah.
1858
02:07:52,000 --> 02:07:56,000
There's in paid to think, I I'm almost positive it's in there.
1859
02:07:56,000 --> 02:07:56,000
There's a lot.
1860
02:07:56,000 --> 02:07:59,000
There's a section on there's 4 types of change.
1861
02:08:00,000 --> 02:08:04,000
And when people say, people hate change, I say, no.
1862
02:08:04,000 --> 02:08:04,000
They don't.
1863
02:08:04,000 --> 02:08:05,000
And you just did it.
1864
02:08:05,000 --> 02:08:07,000
So there's 4 types of change.
1865
02:08:07,000 --> 02:08:12,000
There's negative and unexpected, and there's negative and expected.
1866
02:08:13,000 --> 02:08:14,000
Unexpected, you break your arm.
1867
02:08:14,000 --> 02:08:15,000
You break your leg.
1868
02:08:15,000 --> 02:08:16,000
You get a bad phone call.
1869
02:08:16,000 --> 02:08:17,000
They're negative and unexpected.
1870
02:08:17,000 --> 02:08:18,000
You don't like those.
1871
02:08:18,000 --> 02:08:21,000
You don't like you don't like negative and expected.
1872
02:08:21,000 --> 02:08:22,000
They'll do at the end of the month.
1873
02:08:22,000 --> 02:08:24,000
You're gonna have to meet somebody.
1874
02:08:24,000 --> 02:08:26,000
You have to go visit your in laws or whatever it may be.
1875
02:08:27,000 --> 02:08:30,000
But there's positive change that is, expected.
1876
02:08:31,000 --> 02:08:33,000
I'm gonna get my paycheck at the end of the month.
1877
02:08:33,000 --> 02:08:34,000
We're going on holiday.
1878
02:08:34,000 --> 02:08:37,000
But there's unexpected, positive, and unexpected.
1879
02:08:37,000 --> 02:08:37,000
Hey.
1880
02:08:37,000 --> 02:08:38,000
I won the lottery.
1881
02:08:39,000 --> 02:08:42,000
Or, you know, there's a, it's a girl.
1882
02:08:42,000 --> 02:08:44,000
Or they're getting married.
1883
02:08:44,000 --> 02:08:46,000
All of those things.
1884
02:08:47,000 --> 02:08:48,000
People do love change.
1885
02:08:48,000 --> 02:09:00,000
The challenge with leadership is in business, most change in most corporations for the average individual or in leadership is negative or negative and unexpected, not positive.
1886
02:09:00,000 --> 02:09:01,000
Positive and expected.
1887
02:09:01,000 --> 02:09:07,000
And if leaders could change it, is it upside down in solving the, the so, yes, it's in the book.
1888
02:09:07,000 --> 02:09:11,000
I you have a different version of it so the page won't work.
1889
02:09:11,000 --> 02:09:13,000
It's upside down in solving the dilemma.
1890
02:09:14,000 --> 02:09:17,000
So in the sense of, can I accept this?
1891
02:09:17,000 --> 02:09:21,000
Oh, I got things running up my spine.
1892
02:09:21,000 --> 02:09:26,000
So how do you then take and I'm talking you, not coaching.
1893
02:09:26,000 --> 02:09:29,000
How do you make an important decision?
1894
02:09:30,000 --> 02:09:31,000
How do you do it?
1895
02:09:31,000 --> 02:09:32,000
Yeah.
1896
02:09:32,000 --> 02:09:34,000
There are so many different ways.
1897
02:09:35,000 --> 02:09:38,000
My favorite way, is to use my why.
1898
02:09:39,000 --> 02:09:40,000
So my why
1899
02:09:40,000 --> 02:09:42,000
My why like w h y?
1900
02:09:42,000 --> 02:09:43,000
Yes.
1901
02:09:43,000 --> 02:09:43,000
So Okay.
1902
02:09:44,000 --> 02:09:45,000
Your purpose.
1903
02:09:45,000 --> 02:09:45,000
Right?
1904
02:09:46,000 --> 02:09:48,000
Why are you on this planet?
1905
02:09:49,000 --> 02:09:52,000
And it took me a while to understand what it is.
1906
02:09:52,000 --> 02:10:00,000
And I think that it's an extremely useful exercise, to make that clear to yourself.
1907
02:10:00,000 --> 02:10:03,000
It doesn't matter if other people understand that sentence.
1908
02:10:03,000 --> 02:10:03,000
Right?
1909
02:10:03,000 --> 02:10:05,000
It's just it's important that you do.
1910
02:10:06,000 --> 02:10:23,000
And I think that, when I look at it, whatever decision that I have from the perspective of my why, whatever decision, even when they put in support and decision, it just doesn't it kinda puts it in perspective.
1911
02:10:24,000 --> 02:10:24,000
Right?
1912
02:10:24,000 --> 02:10:28,000
Because my why is always bigger than any decisions I have to make.
1913
02:10:29,000 --> 02:10:37,000
And it just allows me to look at it from, like a to have, like, a mountain view, a bird eye view
1914
02:10:38,000 --> 02:10:38,000
Yeah.
1915
02:10:39,000 --> 02:10:41,000
To You had to bring up the mountain, mountain.
1916
02:10:41,000 --> 02:10:41,000
Didn't you?
1917
02:10:41,000 --> 02:10:42,000
You had to bring up a mountain.
1918
02:10:42,000 --> 02:10:43,000
In my head.
1919
02:10:43,000 --> 02:10:44,000
We got mountains.
1920
02:10:44,000 --> 02:10:49,000
I have mountains and peaks and whatever.
1921
02:10:49,000 --> 02:10:50,000
And valleys and yes.
1922
02:10:51,000 --> 02:10:51,000
Okay.
1923
02:10:52,000 --> 02:11:00,000
And so, that's that's my I think it's and it's, but it doesn't always work, but it works 90% of the time.
1924
02:11:00,000 --> 02:11:02,000
So has your why changed?
1925
02:11:02,000 --> 02:11:03,000
No.
1926
02:11:03,000 --> 02:11:05,000
My Oh, really?
1927
02:11:07,000 --> 02:11:07,000
Wow.
1928
02:11:08,000 --> 02:11:08,000
Yeah.
1929
02:11:08,000 --> 02:11:11,000
People, you know, again, so I wrote a book it.
1930
02:11:11,000 --> 02:11:11,000
Right?
1931
02:11:11,000 --> 02:11:13,000
So I co wrote a book about it.
1932
02:11:13,000 --> 02:11:14,000
So, I I don't think that we should,
1933
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:14,000
like, kinda switch to different topic altogether.
1934
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:14,000
You know?
1935
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:14,000
But
1936
02:11:14,000 --> 02:11:30,000
I think that, your purpose is just one purpose, but just people misunderstand it a lot of times, in terms of how they fulfill it.
1937
02:11:30,000 --> 02:11:33,000
Like, so how what you do can change.
1938
02:11:35,000 --> 02:11:41,000
Even, what you like, and how you like to do it can change.
1939
02:11:42,000 --> 02:11:50,000
But your underlying main purpose is not gonna change if you identify it truthfully and genuinely.
1940
02:11:52,000 --> 02:11:55,000
Another interesting one, I'll give you an example and you tell me what you think.
1941
02:11:55,000 --> 02:12:03,000
There's an individual that I one of my best friends that I had while I was in Hong Kong, one of the first friends I had in Hong Kong.
1942
02:12:04,000 --> 02:12:08,000
And this person did not want to have children.
1943
02:12:09,000 --> 02:12:10,000
Not at all.
1944
02:12:11,000 --> 02:12:15,000
And very interested in business and having fun and living life.
1945
02:12:15,000 --> 02:12:19,000
And at one point, being married, she got pregnant.
1946
02:12:20,000 --> 02:12:21,000
And that kid came.
1947
02:12:23,000 --> 02:12:24,000
That was the end.
1948
02:12:25,000 --> 02:12:37,000
Everything that she had espoused to, for entire time knowing her, years in a heartbeat, everything went to this person, this little baby.
1949
02:12:37,000 --> 02:12:41,000
And her why changed.
1950
02:12:42,000 --> 02:12:48,000
People who've lived through, natural disasters, their wise change.
1951
02:12:49,000 --> 02:13:00,000
People who live through, well, wars, conflicts, financial ruin, divorces, their wise change.
1952
02:13:02,000 --> 02:13:02,000
Yours doesn't.
1953
02:13:02,000 --> 02:13:05,000
Can you explain that, what that means?
1954
02:13:05,000 --> 02:13:06,000
And when you hear this,
1955
02:13:07,000 --> 02:13:09,000
why is your life purpose?
1956
02:13:09,000 --> 02:13:11,000
It's your philosophy of life.
1957
02:13:11,000 --> 02:13:13,000
Your why doesn't really change.
1958
02:13:14,000 --> 02:13:22,000
Tragic occurrences may shake your belief in people, may shake your belief in yourself and your future.
1959
02:13:24,000 --> 02:13:33,000
It may not it would make you like not want to live your way because living your way takes courage and determination and energy.
1960
02:13:34,000 --> 02:13:45,000
So it may kinda completely kinda kill all of the desire to even move forward, all motivation, but it doesn't change, your why, actually.
1961
02:13:46,000 --> 02:13:48,000
So can you give me examples of whys?
1962
02:13:50,000 --> 02:13:56,000
You could use yourself or you could use somebody else without you know, I mean, you're not gonna give a name, so I'm not afraid of that.
1963
02:13:56,000 --> 02:13:58,000
But can you give me examples of whys?
1964
02:13:59,000 --> 02:14:00,000
Sure.
1965
02:14:01,000 --> 02:14:03,000
But, I mean okay.
1966
02:14:04,000 --> 02:14:07,000
It's just that we're talking again about so many different things.
1967
02:14:07,000 --> 02:14:08,000
Well, we're talking about decision making.
1968
02:14:08,000 --> 02:14:08,000
Yeah.
1969
02:14:08,000 --> 02:14:08,000
Well
1970
02:14:09,000 --> 02:14:10,000
And we're talking about goals.
1971
02:14:10,000 --> 02:14:10,000
Right?
1972
02:14:10,000 --> 02:14:10,000
You know
1973
02:14:10,000 --> 02:14:14,000
You're talking about decision making and goals, and you say that your why is important
1974
02:14:14,000 --> 02:14:15,000
Yes.
1975
02:14:15,000 --> 02:14:15,000
It
1976
02:14:15,000 --> 02:14:18,000
then it ties to decision making.
1977
02:14:18,000 --> 02:14:19,000
Correct?
1978
02:14:19,000 --> 02:14:20,000
Every decision you
1979
02:14:20,000 --> 02:14:21,000
make is basically why.
1980
02:14:21,000 --> 02:14:23,000
Why is very private.
1981
02:14:23,000 --> 02:14:24,000
You know, it's very personal.
1982
02:14:24,000 --> 02:14:28,000
And so there's a whole, like, science of how to get to it.
1983
02:14:28,000 --> 02:14:35,000
So, like, for instance, mine, again, I can share mine is my why.
1984
02:14:37,000 --> 02:14:38,000
Yeah.
1985
02:14:42,000 --> 02:14:51,000
My why is that, I believe that the best in me brings out the belief, I'm sorry, brings out the best in in others.
1986
02:14:51,000 --> 02:14:52,000
Right?
1987
02:14:52,000 --> 02:14:55,000
So the best in me brings out the best in others.
1988
02:14:56,000 --> 02:15:01,000
And, of course, like, I can explain that, but I don't have to because it's my why.
1989
02:15:01,000 --> 02:15:01,000
Do you know what I mean?
1990
02:15:01,000 --> 02:15:02,000
Yeah.
1991
02:15:02,000 --> 02:15:02,000
No.
1992
02:15:02,000 --> 02:15:03,000
I understand that.
1993
02:15:03,000 --> 02:15:06,000
I I I'm I'm now understanding how you're defining whys.
1994
02:15:08,000 --> 02:15:09,000
Yeah.
1995
02:15:09,000 --> 02:15:10,000
Okay.
1996
02:15:10,000 --> 02:15:12,000
I can bring you someone else's.
1997
02:15:12,000 --> 02:15:12,000
Yeah.
1998
02:15:12,000 --> 02:15:12,000
Some others.
1999
02:15:12,000 --> 02:15:13,000
Yeah.
2000
02:15:13,000 --> 02:15:13,000
That'd be interesting.
2001
02:15:14,000 --> 02:15:16,000
Let me find, find them.
2002
02:15:17,000 --> 02:15:17,000
Yep.
2003
02:15:17,000 --> 02:15:17,000
I know.
2004
02:15:17,000 --> 02:15:18,000
I can hear you typing.
2005
02:15:18,000 --> 02:15:21,000
I'm just trying to because I can't.
2006
02:15:21,000 --> 02:15:22,000
I'm sorry if you
2007
02:15:22,000 --> 02:15:23,000
No.
2008
02:15:23,000 --> 02:15:23,000
No.
2009
02:15:23,000 --> 02:15:24,000
You're do you're doing fine.
2010
02:15:24,000 --> 02:15:28,000
I, I know this is not happening.
2011
02:15:28,000 --> 02:15:30,000
I don't remember other people's whys.
2012
02:15:30,000 --> 02:15:31,000
That's okay.
2013
02:15:31,000 --> 02:15:32,000
That's okay.
2014
02:15:32,000 --> 02:15:36,000
You you've written them down because you wrote a book on it, so you're pulling things up to say these are some of the whys that people have.
2015
02:15:36,000 --> 02:15:40,000
And that's fantastic because you're saying make an important decision.
2016
02:15:40,000 --> 02:15:42,000
Well and it ties to your why.
2017
02:15:42,000 --> 02:15:42,000
Yeah.
2018
02:15:43,000 --> 02:15:45,000
So we have to know what a why is defined as.
2019
02:15:46,000 --> 02:15:47,000
And so this is perfect.
2020
02:15:47,000 --> 02:15:49,000
So here's another why.
2021
02:15:49,000 --> 02:15:54,000
I believe reality is created the moment we acknowledge and act on what matters most.
2022
02:15:57,000 --> 02:15:58,000
That's it.
2023
02:16:01,000 --> 02:16:02,000
That's why.
2024
02:16:02,000 --> 02:16:03,000
Right?
2025
02:16:03,000 --> 02:16:05,000
So I hope you're getting the gist of it.
2026
02:16:05,000 --> 02:16:12,000
You know, that that's interesting because I had not defined the why in as broader brush.
2027
02:16:12,000 --> 02:16:23,000
So you're defining why that isn't it it there's no specific it's not a specificity in the way that I thought you would have defined it.
2028
02:16:24,000 --> 02:16:32,000
It's a just a, a life a life spirit.
2029
02:16:32,000 --> 02:16:34,000
I don't know if that's the way to say it.
2030
02:16:34,000 --> 02:16:34,000
You're getting it.
2031
02:16:34,000 --> 02:16:34,000
Yes.
2032
02:16:34,000 --> 02:16:35,000
In the why.
2033
02:16:35,000 --> 02:16:36,000
Mhmm.
2034
02:16:36,000 --> 02:16:39,000
And you're saying that that has never changed for you.
2035
02:16:39,000 --> 02:16:39,000
Mm-mm.
2036
02:16:40,000 --> 02:16:51,000
So I think that people sometimes don't realize, it's actually it's not so easy to to to genuinely come up with a a why because it shouldn't be more than one sentence.
2037
02:16:52,000 --> 02:17:05,000
And there's just so much to each individual, right, that it's almost it feels almost, like, impossible to put in one sentence, but it's truly an essence of who you are.
2038
02:17:08,000 --> 02:17:14,000
The if you remember in the redefining, redefining is bringing it down to one sentence.
2039
02:17:15,000 --> 02:17:23,000
So if you remember, I I think I put on the board in Dubai, I think there was a big thing of one person who's went on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
2040
02:17:24,000 --> 02:17:26,000
And so you there's no clarity in it.
2041
02:17:26,000 --> 02:17:30,000
So, yes, the one sentence brings the clarity to it.
2042
02:17:31,000 --> 02:17:33,000
When did you come up with yours?
2043
02:17:33,000 --> 02:17:34,000
Do you know?
2044
02:17:34,000 --> 02:17:36,000
Not that long ago, but, I don't know.
2045
02:17:36,000 --> 02:17:38,000
7, 8 about 7, 8 years ago.
2046
02:17:39,000 --> 02:17:39,000
Okay.
2047
02:17:41,000 --> 02:17:46,000
I mean, it's always there, but it's just I never really even thought that I needed to define it in any way.
2048
02:17:46,000 --> 02:17:51,000
Like, I just because people kind of feel it speaking about imagery, people feel it.
2049
02:17:51,000 --> 02:17:52,000
Mhmm.
2050
02:17:53,000 --> 02:17:56,000
It's and it's like in your undercurrent.
2051
02:17:56,000 --> 02:17:57,000
It's it's there.
2052
02:17:57,000 --> 02:17:59,000
It's there because it's you.
2053
02:17:59,000 --> 02:18:00,000
It's you.
2054
02:18:01,000 --> 02:18:10,000
But very few of us take the time and energy to actually craft it into a sentence and to understand.
2055
02:18:10,000 --> 02:18:17,000
But it just really I think it's an amazing tool for self understanding and then for self realization, also for making decisions.
2056
02:18:20,000 --> 02:18:20,000
Yeah.
2057
02:18:20,000 --> 02:18:23,000
So I'm gonna take it, and I'm gonna turn it into a tool.
2058
02:18:25,000 --> 02:18:25,000
Well, no.
2059
02:18:25,000 --> 02:18:36,000
Because that's going back to reshaping tomorrow and thinking differently that if in fact you can get individuals to get to, there's a question.
2060
02:18:36,000 --> 02:18:37,000
Why are you doing this?
2061
02:18:38,000 --> 02:18:41,000
And in Project Moon, we actually have why are we doing this.
2062
02:18:41,000 --> 02:18:42,000
Mhmm.
2063
02:18:42,000 --> 02:18:44,000
We we've got it defined.
2064
02:18:44,000 --> 02:18:46,000
It's very clear why we're doing it.
2065
02:18:47,000 --> 02:18:47,000
Right.
2066
02:18:47,000 --> 02:18:50,000
And how we're approaching it is very counterintuitive.
2067
02:18:51,000 --> 02:19:10,000
But if individuals could be asked the question of why, on a personal level, they do what they do, not even their engagement in whatever they're doing or why do they do what they do, You can that is a cascading domino, a bunch of other words that could be used.
2068
02:19:10,000 --> 02:19:14,000
I can't find them means by which to reshape tomorrow.
2069
02:19:14,000 --> 02:19:15,000
Mhmm.
2070
02:19:16,000 --> 02:19:26,000
So if they can get to that, then they can take but working backwards, they could decide if the decisions they're making are in line.
2071
02:19:26,000 --> 02:19:31,000
It could decide if their goals fulfill that application.
2072
02:19:31,000 --> 02:19:41,000
They can determine if their images meet their why, and then they can reshape the images and their imagination, I think, in they use it.
2073
02:19:42,000 --> 02:19:46,000
Imagination to determine if inside of them they're playing the right music.
2074
02:19:47,000 --> 02:19:48,000
Yeah.
2075
02:19:49,000 --> 02:20:00,000
And so if so going back to creating a goal and why I fell in love with coaching, by the way, speaking about coaching.
2076
02:20:00,000 --> 02:20:00,000
Yeah.
2077
02:20:02,000 --> 02:20:14,000
That one sentence practice is one of the techniques that we use to identify a clear goal for each coaching session.
2078
02:20:14,000 --> 02:20:27,000
So not only for overall, vision, overall engagement, but what do you want that we can do together within 30, 40 minutes or an hour?
2079
02:20:27,000 --> 02:20:27,000
Right?
2080
02:20:28,000 --> 02:20:31,000
And so, again, I'm not bringing it back to coaching.
2081
02:20:31,000 --> 02:20:31,000
No.
2082
02:20:31,000 --> 02:20:38,000
I know you're describing why it fits who you're describing why it fits you and your methodology for reshaping tomorrow.
2083
02:20:38,000 --> 02:20:39,000
So I understand.
2084
02:20:39,000 --> 02:20:39,000
Right.
2085
02:20:39,000 --> 02:20:40,000
So yeah.
2086
02:20:40,000 --> 02:20:40,000
That's perfect.
2087
02:20:40,000 --> 02:20:52,000
If you were to speak to yourself because we're talking about asking questions and applying these tools, if you were to ask yourself, like even because before, without the goal, we can't make a decision.
2088
02:20:52,000 --> 02:20:55,000
There's what because there's nothing to make decision on.
2089
02:20:55,000 --> 02:20:55,000
Right?
2090
02:20:56,000 --> 02:21:03,000
And so if you have a goal and now if you let's say the goal is acceptance and self acceptance from what we were talking about before.
2091
02:21:04,000 --> 02:21:05,000
And now I just wanna let it run.
2092
02:21:05,000 --> 02:21:07,000
I just wanna let it run.
2093
02:21:07,000 --> 02:21:11,000
And your reactions to I wanna let it run was like, oh my god.
2094
02:21:11,000 --> 02:21:12,000
Am I ready for this?
2095
02:21:13,000 --> 02:21:22,000
And, like, this kind of, excitement, mixed with, with other feelings that I was, listening even through your voice without seeing your face.
2096
02:21:23,000 --> 02:21:38,000
And so then the next question to ask is, you know, how your decisions are going to be informed differently from that position of allowing it just run?
2097
02:21:41,000 --> 02:21:43,000
It's a bad example, but it's a good example.
2098
02:21:43,000 --> 02:21:43,000
Okay.
2099
02:21:44,000 --> 02:21:45,000
And I'm gonna give it to you.
2100
02:21:45,000 --> 02:21:48,000
And the reason I say it is one of the individuals has got a lot of challenges.
2101
02:21:48,000 --> 02:21:59,000
But Bill Cosby, that's the guy who has the challenges, Bill Cosby was sitting and I and I say that in a way that I know prison and the things that he did are extremely bad.
2102
02:22:00,000 --> 02:22:09,000
Bill Cosby was sitting next to Jerry Seinfeld at a bar, not a bar at a at a bar, a physical bar, could have been in a hotel bar or something, and they were talking.
2103
02:22:10,000 --> 02:22:17,000
And at one point, Bill looked at Jerry and said, you can relax.
2104
02:22:18,000 --> 02:22:19,000
You've made it.
2105
02:22:21,000 --> 02:22:25,000
Now Jerry was at the top of his career and still driving.
2106
02:22:27,000 --> 02:22:32,000
And he said, no matter what anybody else had said, it didn't make a difference.
2107
02:22:32,000 --> 02:22:36,000
But when Bill Cosby said to him, you can relax.
2108
02:22:36,000 --> 02:22:36,000
You've made it.
2109
02:22:36,000 --> 02:22:41,000
It was the first time in his career that he relaxed.
2110
02:22:44,000 --> 02:22:53,000
So the decision, the way you're saying it, That's a that was advice, by the way.
2111
02:22:53,000 --> 02:22:54,000
He's saying you can relax.
2112
02:22:54,000 --> 02:22:55,000
That is advice.
2113
02:22:58,000 --> 02:23:10,000
I'm now asking the question because for me, I've got asked the question is, am I not have if you met me 10 years ago, I'm not the same person I am today, period.
2114
02:23:11,000 --> 02:23:11,000
End stop.
2115
02:23:13,000 --> 02:23:18,000
Am I not allowing that to happen is kind of what I'm asking.
2116
02:23:19,000 --> 02:23:20,000
That long
2117
02:23:20,000 --> 02:23:20,000
Have I
2118
02:23:20,000 --> 02:23:21,000
to happen?
2119
02:23:21,000 --> 02:23:22,000
You'll not
2120
02:23:22,000 --> 02:23:28,000
The the acceptance of certain things are going the way they should.
2121
02:23:28,000 --> 02:23:36,000
Like, am I not am I have am I not saying to myself, you are on the right path often enough?
2122
02:23:36,000 --> 02:23:45,000
Not that I have to say it a 100 a 100% of the time, maybe 62 instead of 57, but maybe there are more times.
2123
02:23:45,000 --> 02:23:56,000
And I think individuals in general, human nature, is drivers, builders, creators, I would say anybody, a mom, a dad, a everybody has challenges.
2124
02:23:57,000 --> 02:24:04,000
Are is there a time that you can let go of certain things maybe earlier than when you became older?
2125
02:24:04,000 --> 02:24:09,000
And I think that you probably have met a lot of older people who said if I wish I knew what I knew now then.
2126
02:24:10,000 --> 02:24:10,000
Mhmm.
2127
02:24:10,000 --> 02:24:13,000
And the fact that you just came up with yours about 7 years ago Mhmm.
2128
02:24:14,000 --> 02:24:17,000
Is an example of it, what you just described.
2129
02:24:17,000 --> 02:24:25,000
You got to a point, and now you're, oh, now I know why I did the things I did.
2130
02:24:25,000 --> 02:24:26,000
There's a clarity.
2131
02:24:26,000 --> 02:24:35,000
So I'm I'm asking the same question as maybe maybe I I need to say to myself more often, give myself a little bit more of a break.
2132
02:24:35,000 --> 02:24:38,000
Give me and I I don't wanna call a Cosby moment.
2133
02:24:39,000 --> 02:24:49,000
But am I not allowing what I say to myself or others say to me to sink in because I'm driving?
2134
02:24:51,000 --> 02:24:53,000
I I'm focused on moving.
2135
02:24:54,000 --> 02:24:58,000
Does that make sense, the kind of way I twisted it?
2136
02:24:58,000 --> 02:24:58,000
Yeah.
2137
02:24:58,000 --> 02:25:01,000
And so how are you processing that now?
2138
02:25:02,000 --> 02:25:15,000
You know, I I know it I've I've met too many people who are who who could be great people who fell in love with themselves.
2139
02:25:16,000 --> 02:25:23,000
And I've always had a fear of becoming a person that I don't even like myself, that others don't like.
2140
02:25:23,000 --> 02:25:24,000
Not because I need to be loved.
2141
02:25:25,000 --> 02:25:26,000
People don't like me.
2142
02:25:26,000 --> 02:25:29,000
And I the way I I do the math is there's 8,000,000,000 people in the planet.
2143
02:25:29,000 --> 02:25:31,000
Half the people don't can like me and the other half don't.
2144
02:25:31,000 --> 02:25:32,000
I'm good with 4,000,000,000.
2145
02:25:33,000 --> 02:25:34,000
I'm gonna stick with that number.
2146
02:25:34,000 --> 02:25:37,000
So I'm I'm good with the the math in that regard.
2147
02:25:37,000 --> 02:25:45,000
But I'm I'm a little bit more comfortable with the fact that maybe my meter, wherever it's marked, I don't have a gauge.
2148
02:25:46,000 --> 02:26:04,000
Wherever that meter is, I have to become another accepting of the fact that it is what it is working and that the confidence that I do have can allow myself to let go of certain things and make others work, which I have probably not probably it's a definite.
2149
02:26:04,000 --> 02:26:13,000
I have not allowed that to come in because I want to make I want to be the person that I I believe I can be.
2150
02:26:14,000 --> 02:26:19,000
So maybe I need to let go of that and grab something else.
2151
02:26:19,000 --> 02:26:22,000
And there's a saying that I I think it's in pain to think.
2152
02:26:23,000 --> 02:26:24,000
I have a bunch of sayings.
2153
02:26:24,000 --> 02:26:29,000
You can't get to the other side of the pool if you continue to hold on to the rails.
2154
02:26:29,000 --> 02:26:30,000
Mhmm.
2155
02:26:31,000 --> 02:26:31,000
Yeah.
2156
02:26:31,000 --> 02:26:35,000
So I I that that I have another one that, you know, those type of things I give all the time.
2157
02:26:35,000 --> 02:26:43,000
So in my own sense, I'm telling it to myself because the quotes are for me, you can't get to the other side of the pool if you don't let go of the rail, and maybe there's a rail here.
2158
02:26:43,000 --> 02:26:54,000
So bringing it back to decision making, I would say, which is also in the 5 the the whys that are in, or the definitions of redefining.
2159
02:26:54,000 --> 02:26:56,000
You'll see it you'll see it in the next chapter.
2160
02:26:56,000 --> 02:26:59,000
You'll see a lot of things we're talking about in the next chapter.
2161
02:26:59,000 --> 02:27:01,000
We call them desired outcomes.
2162
02:27:01,000 --> 02:27:02,000
There's whys.
2163
02:27:02,000 --> 02:27:03,000
There's the redefining.
2164
02:27:04,000 --> 02:27:10,000
I think that that's an interesting way of redefining the decision making process.
2165
02:27:10,000 --> 02:27:12,000
But I think the why is a part of it.
2166
02:27:12,000 --> 02:27:27,000
I think the way you're defining it is what is my why needs to be in parallel processed from 1 through 4 in our outline before you can get to the the decision.
2167
02:27:28,000 --> 02:27:29,000
Right.
2168
02:27:29,000 --> 02:27:38,000
Well, you know, I mean, speaking about why, it's a real it's a it's a tedious process to kinda hone it down to what it means.
2169
02:27:38,000 --> 02:27:49,000
And so, like, if anyone is interested to get to the actual process, like, the book is literally, self coaching guide, you know, the book that I co wrote.
2170
02:27:49,000 --> 02:27:50,000
So What
2171
02:27:50,000 --> 02:27:51,000
what's his what's the book's name?
2172
02:27:51,000 --> 02:27:56,000
So the book is called Me, My Brand, and Why.
2173
02:27:57,000 --> 02:27:58,000
Okay.
2174
02:27:58,000 --> 02:28:00,000
It's, okay.
2175
02:28:00,000 --> 02:28:02,000
So we got it out there.
2176
02:28:02,000 --> 02:28:08,000
The how do you take that in you for you or for friends, relatives, your family?
2177
02:28:08,000 --> 02:28:09,000
Because it's gotta work everywhere.
2178
02:28:09,000 --> 02:28:11,000
Ubiquitousness is important.
2179
02:28:11,000 --> 02:28:13,000
How do you take that to a blueprint?
2180
02:28:14,000 --> 02:28:17,000
I mean, I I always start with me if you hear me say it.
2181
02:28:17,000 --> 02:28:18,000
I always start with me.
2182
02:28:18,000 --> 02:28:20,000
Like, how would I do it?
2183
02:28:20,000 --> 02:28:25,000
And then I I don't know about you, but I've been in many environments where people come in and they give advice, and I say, okay.
2184
02:28:25,000 --> 02:28:26,000
Let's do it.
2185
02:28:26,000 --> 02:28:27,000
And they say, what do you mean?
2186
02:28:27,000 --> 02:28:29,000
I said, you just told me how to do it.
2187
02:28:29,000 --> 02:28:31,000
You've just told us you're gonna charge all this money.
2188
02:28:31,000 --> 02:28:32,000
Let's do
2189
02:28:32,000 --> 02:28:32,000
it together.
2190
02:28:32,000 --> 02:28:33,000
Right.
2191
02:28:33,000 --> 02:28:36,000
And I can't tell you how many major corporations have give pitches.
2192
02:28:36,000 --> 02:28:40,000
People who in high level and I've said, well, let's follow exactly what you've taught us.
2193
02:28:40,000 --> 02:28:41,000
And they say, what do you mean?
2194
02:28:41,000 --> 02:28:43,000
I said, well, we'll pay you for it.
2195
02:28:43,000 --> 02:28:43,000
Mhmm.
2196
02:28:43,000 --> 02:28:44,000
And they don't know how.
2197
02:28:45,000 --> 02:28:53,000
So I'm actually asking the question, how would you or how would you advise someone you cared or loved to take those decisions and move them to a blueprint?
2198
02:28:54,000 --> 02:29:10,000
Well so, like, for instance, you like, right now, you were saying, well, I could just let things be the way they are, or I could accept different reality and let things run.
2199
02:29:11,000 --> 02:29:11,000
Right?
2200
02:29:11,000 --> 02:29:30,000
And and so with that, I could have asked you, like, literally, to, you know, to imagine 2 different futures with 2 different choices.
2201
02:29:31,000 --> 02:29:39,000
So, like, let's say if you take yourself into the future, you pick what interval, how many years ahead you want.
2202
02:29:39,000 --> 02:29:57,000
And if you if you were to pick the future, that is a result of, you doing what you've been doing so far and, you know, moving all of these mountains and and whatever whatever however you were describing it.
2203
02:29:57,000 --> 02:29:58,000
You love that, don't you?
2204
02:29:58,000 --> 02:29:58,000
Yes.
2205
02:29:58,000 --> 02:29:59,000
I do.
2206
02:30:00,000 --> 02:30:05,000
Well, you know, because I also love the another metaphor that you said that you like orchestrating.
2207
02:30:05,000 --> 02:30:06,000
So,
2208
02:30:06,000 --> 02:30:06,000
being a musician myself, orchestrating is also another thing that I kinda relate relate.
2209
02:30:06,000 --> 02:30:07,000
Yeah.
2210
02:30:07,000 --> 02:30:09,000
But, Yeah.
2211
02:30:09,000 --> 02:30:12,000
But, but yeah.
2212
02:30:12,000 --> 02:30:24,000
So when you were saying to, if you were to imagine that future and, like like, let's just take one one at a time.
2213
02:30:24,000 --> 02:30:25,000
If you were to imagine Yeah.
2214
02:30:26,000 --> 02:30:27,000
Like, you didn't change anything.
2215
02:30:28,000 --> 02:30:32,000
And, what interval are you thinking about in terms of years?
2216
02:30:33,000 --> 02:30:34,000
What kind?
2217
02:30:34,000 --> 02:30:37,000
It's I have 2 in mind, 10:30, which come to mind.
2218
02:30:37,000 --> 02:30:40,000
My mind tends to give me 2 two numbers all the time no matter what.
2219
02:30:40,000 --> 02:30:41,000
So 10:30.
2220
02:30:41,000 --> 02:30:55,000
Well, let's look at so it's a 10:30 for just taking the case that, the attitude is the same, and nothing was done differently.
2221
02:30:55,000 --> 02:30:55,000
Right?
2222
02:30:55,000 --> 02:30:55,000
You know?
2223
02:30:55,000 --> 02:30:57,000
So what what do you see?
2224
02:30:57,000 --> 02:31:30,000
And if you could just, like, take yourself to that 10 year span and feel as much as you possibly can in that body, seeing things around yourself, realizing who is around you, how people are treating you, how you're treating other people, how they're treating each other, what's happening with the business, how how what how, it impacted strategies and systems or whatever else that's in place for your business and for you personally.
2225
02:31:31,000 --> 02:31:34,000
Just look at all of it and embody it.
2226
02:31:34,000 --> 02:31:37,000
Like, this is happening for real right now.
2227
02:31:37,000 --> 02:31:38,000
Mhmm.
2228
02:31:38,000 --> 02:31:41,000
I'm just gonna try to digest it.
2229
02:31:41,000 --> 02:31:42,000
It happens in seconds.
2230
02:31:42,000 --> 02:31:47,000
It doesn't even take more than it's a it's a so I was letting you go through the exercise Right.
2231
02:31:47,000 --> 02:31:49,000
Of sharing those points.
2232
02:31:49,000 --> 02:31:57,000
Oh, immediately, it was it would it would work, yet it would be harder, and it didn't need to be.
2233
02:31:57,000 --> 02:31:58,000
Well, great.
2234
02:31:58,000 --> 02:32:01,000
So do you need to go to the 30 year span, or are you good?
2235
02:32:02,000 --> 02:32:02,000
No.
2236
02:32:02,000 --> 02:32:03,000
I did both.
2237
02:32:03,000 --> 02:32:03,000
I did both.
2238
02:32:03,000 --> 02:32:04,000
That was amazing.
2239
02:32:04,000 --> 02:32:05,000
I I yeah.
2240
02:32:05,000 --> 02:32:05,000
No.
2241
02:32:05,000 --> 02:32:06,000
I I yeah.
2242
02:32:06,000 --> 02:32:09,000
It's just it's instantaneous because I direct we have plans.
2243
02:32:09,000 --> 02:32:14,000
I mean, when people say they've got a 10 year plan or a 30 year plan, I say, let me see it.
2244
02:32:14,000 --> 02:32:16,000
And they'll say, well, I just told it to you.
2245
02:32:16,000 --> 02:32:17,000
So that's not a plan.
2246
02:32:17,000 --> 02:32:18,000
That's an idea.
2247
02:32:18,000 --> 02:32:18,000
Right.
2248
02:32:18,000 --> 02:32:21,000
And individuals don't know the differences.
2249
02:32:21,000 --> 02:32:23,000
It's amazing between a plan and an idea.
2250
02:32:23,000 --> 02:32:26,000
And I get tons of people saying, well, that's the plan.
2251
02:32:26,000 --> 02:32:28,000
And I say, that's not a plan.
2252
02:32:28,000 --> 02:32:34,000
You just just you you spend 4 minutes or 20 minutes describing what you're thinking about, but a plan would be something more concrete.
2253
02:32:34,000 --> 02:32:39,000
And so in 3rd in a few seconds, I realized this and I wrote down because I'm writing as I shared.
2254
02:32:40,000 --> 02:32:46,000
I said, it's gonna be hard we're gonna get there, but it's gonna be harder and more work than it needs to be.
2255
02:32:46,000 --> 02:32:47,000
Right.
2256
02:32:48,000 --> 02:32:49,000
And
2257
02:32:49,000 --> 02:32:53,000
then when I went to what if I made the change, the simple change, we're only talking one category.
2258
02:32:54,000 --> 02:33:02,000
The category of how do I improve my performance so I can help reshape tomorrow with the work that we're working on.
2259
02:33:02,000 --> 02:33:07,000
Immediately, I said to myself it's very simple, but I gotta say it.
2260
02:33:07,000 --> 02:33:08,000
I said, you're a fucking idiot, David.
2261
02:33:10,000 --> 02:33:12,000
That's exactly what I said to myself.
2262
02:33:12,000 --> 02:33:20,000
Because and then I said, should I use in my mind the the Cosby moment or the Cosby thing?
2263
02:33:20,000 --> 02:33:22,000
Because I've used that minute to this.
2264
02:33:23,000 --> 02:33:27,000
And I at the same time, I said, I can still be me.
2265
02:33:27,000 --> 02:33:32,000
It's not gonna change me to be more accepting in this one area of the work that I'm working on.
2266
02:33:32,000 --> 02:33:33,000
It's not on everything.
2267
02:33:34,000 --> 02:33:36,000
It's not on every single thing that we're doing.
2268
02:33:36,000 --> 02:33:41,000
It's just in this one area, which I think is something that needs to be transformed.
2269
02:33:42,000 --> 02:33:46,000
Wouldn't it be easier if I just said, yeah.
2270
02:33:48,000 --> 02:33:49,000
I think we've done a good job.
2271
02:33:49,000 --> 02:33:50,000
Let's just move it on.
2272
02:33:50,000 --> 02:33:52,000
I don't need to I don't need to hold on to it.
2273
02:33:52,000 --> 02:33:54,000
I don't need to hold on to the rail.
2274
02:33:54,000 --> 02:33:57,000
I am gonna swim to the other side of the pool, which will have another rail.
2275
02:33:58,000 --> 02:34:15,000
It's not easy to not have rails, but I will swim to the other side of the pool, which will really move us ahead faster and make it easier and probably, most likely, less obstacles, less less challenges along the way in certain areas that don't need to be there.
2276
02:34:15,000 --> 02:34:19,000
So by letting go or transforming, those things happen.
2277
02:34:19,000 --> 02:34:21,000
So it's an it's it's an easy one.
2278
02:34:21,000 --> 02:34:27,000
And then the next translation was, because I language is important as we talked about in the very beginning.
2279
02:34:28,000 --> 02:34:31,000
I know that the language words that have to change.
2280
02:34:31,000 --> 02:34:33,000
There's a there's a language change.
2281
02:34:33,000 --> 02:34:37,000
So, if I don't change it in language, it doesn't matter if it's in your head.
2282
02:34:37,000 --> 02:34:39,000
You have the words you use.
2283
02:34:39,000 --> 02:34:44,000
If you notice I always use challenge, there's certain words that are very, often used.
2284
02:34:45,000 --> 02:34:45,000
Yeah.
2285
02:34:45,000 --> 02:34:51,000
It would just it would make it simpler in those areas.
2286
02:34:52,000 --> 02:34:52,000
So yeah.
2287
02:34:53,000 --> 02:35:00,000
So I I can see small little pieces of, it's not a blueprint.
2288
02:35:01,000 --> 02:35:02,000
It's an adjustment.
2289
02:35:05,000 --> 02:35:06,000
Exactly.
2290
02:35:08,000 --> 02:35:14,000
So, basically, you're getting you're getting it, like, right now.
2291
02:35:15,000 --> 02:35:30,000
So when people first of all, not every, like, not not not not every, time that you're going to be asking yourself questions, you're going to be actually coming up with a decision, actual decision.
2292
02:35:30,000 --> 02:35:37,000
Because like we were talking about before, sometimes it's serious of questions and you have to hone it down.
2293
02:35:37,000 --> 02:35:47,000
And I think that one of the important questions when you want to make a decision is what's going to help me to reach this decision?
2294
02:35:48,000 --> 02:35:59,000
And, you know, going back to coaching, one of my favorite questions when I hear that someone wants to make a decision, the first thing that I'm going to ask is about what is your process for making decisions?
2295
02:36:00,000 --> 02:36:09,000
Because, you know, that's my preference is to use y, but maybe you have another, like, a really great, process that worked for you in the past.
2296
02:36:09,000 --> 02:36:12,000
So who am I to to argue differently?
2297
02:36:12,000 --> 02:36:13,000
Right?
2298
02:36:13,000 --> 02:36:13,000
You know?
2299
02:36:13,000 --> 02:36:19,000
I mean, some people may be happy to just flipping up flipping a coin, and then they'll be happy with that result.
2300
02:36:20,000 --> 02:36:26,000
If you, if you from the TED talk, and I, there's a what happened was and I think I mentioned it there.
2301
02:36:27,000 --> 02:36:29,000
We were standing I was standing in the corner.
2302
02:36:29,000 --> 02:36:34,000
We had about 15, 13 big bore, pieces of paper hanging from the wall.
2303
02:36:35,000 --> 02:36:39,000
And one of the people in the room said to me, why?
2304
02:36:40,000 --> 02:36:42,000
And I I instantaneous reaction.
2305
02:36:42,000 --> 02:36:44,000
I said, why does it matter?
2306
02:36:44,000 --> 02:36:51,000
And he looked at me, and I said, let's slow it down to micro decisions that you make between this point and that point.
2307
02:36:52,000 --> 02:36:56,000
And I said, the why won't be impactful here.
2308
02:36:57,000 --> 02:36:58,000
It needs to be later.
2309
02:36:59,000 --> 02:37:05,000
Because in order to answer this question, you're gonna ask about 30 questions or 20 questions inside your head to get there.
2310
02:37:05,000 --> 02:37:06,000
You jumped it.
2311
02:37:07,000 --> 02:37:12,000
And so the process of redefining took 3 years to create.
2312
02:37:12,000 --> 02:37:14,000
It didn't happen in, like, a week.
2313
02:37:15,000 --> 02:37:18,000
It was 3 years, and it's only maybe 8 pages in the book.
2314
02:37:18,000 --> 02:37:27,000
So, yes, develop the process that you will always end up with a better decision than the decision you had made when you first initiated it.
2315
02:37:28,000 --> 02:37:29,000
Even if it's only by 1%.
2316
02:37:30,000 --> 02:37:38,000
But the process that you had you had watched, you will always, every single time, come up with a better decision than the one that you had originally made.
2317
02:37:38,000 --> 02:37:43,000
So, yes, I do have a process to give you there is a process that I would follow.
2318
02:37:46,000 --> 02:37:46,000
Yeah.
2319
02:37:46,000 --> 02:37:47,000
That's that that's cool.
2320
02:37:47,000 --> 02:37:50,000
The the blueprint side, I I know that's a whole different ballgame.
2321
02:37:50,000 --> 02:37:54,000
Do you are you a person who writes writes them out?
2322
02:37:54,000 --> 02:37:56,000
Are you a person that draws diagrams?
2323
02:37:56,000 --> 02:37:57,000
Do you create charts?
2324
02:37:57,000 --> 02:37:59,000
How do you create your blueprint?
2325
02:38:02,000 --> 02:38:03,000
None of the above.
2326
02:38:03,000 --> 02:38:04,000
Okay.
2327
02:38:06,000 --> 02:38:06,000
Right?
2328
02:38:07,000 --> 02:38:09,000
And so, again, people are very different.
2329
02:38:09,000 --> 02:38:18,000
There are people who love lists and, love create pros and cons and all kind of, you know, follow all kind of templates.
2330
02:38:19,000 --> 02:38:26,000
I just literally work with questions, both for myself and my clients, and, you know, I just work like that.
2331
02:38:26,000 --> 02:38:35,000
But, there is no lack of supporting, tools and and templates that, that I can offer.
2332
02:38:35,000 --> 02:38:42,000
And if someone likes those things that they can or have used the them in the past for themselves, then, you know, more power to them.
2333
02:38:42,000 --> 02:38:45,000
So you don't but nothing it's only in your head?
2334
02:38:47,000 --> 02:38:48,000
I go by emotions.
2335
02:38:49,000 --> 02:38:52,000
I go by kind of feeling what I want.
2336
02:38:52,000 --> 02:38:58,000
And, it kinda creates something something in the back of my mind that kinda gets me to it.
2337
02:38:58,000 --> 02:39:00,000
Like, for instance, I'm gonna give you an example.
2338
02:39:01,000 --> 02:39:05,000
And you may tell me that you may say to me that, it's a coincidence.
2339
02:39:05,000 --> 02:39:06,000
Maybe it was.
2340
02:39:06,000 --> 02:39:14,000
But, you know, I came to the United States, in 1979, from Ukraine.
2341
02:39:15,000 --> 02:39:15,000
Yep.
2342
02:39:16,000 --> 02:39:19,000
And, I hardly spoke English.
2343
02:39:19,000 --> 02:39:26,000
But the first thing that I decided I don't know why I decided that because we moved into we moved to New York.
2344
02:39:26,000 --> 02:39:29,000
So I lived in New York all this time.
2345
02:39:29,000 --> 02:39:31,000
I decided that I'm going to teach at NYU.
2346
02:39:32,000 --> 02:39:34,000
I have zero credentials.
2347
02:39:34,000 --> 02:39:37,000
I have, like, nothing, like, 0.
2348
02:39:37,000 --> 02:39:40,000
I could I I didn't understand when people were speaking with me Yeah.
2349
02:39:40,000 --> 02:39:41,000
To me.
2350
02:39:41,000 --> 02:39:44,000
You know, it was just I went to the library.
2351
02:39:44,000 --> 02:39:53,000
It was my very first library card, and, it was a time when I felt really lost, actually.
2352
02:39:53,000 --> 02:39:54,000
But I had that image.
2353
02:39:54,000 --> 02:39:58,000
I don't know why I had that image, and that's what I wanted to do.
2354
02:39:58,000 --> 02:40:00,000
And, guess what?
2355
02:40:00,000 --> 02:40:02,000
I mean, you don't have to guess because you know.
2356
02:40:02,000 --> 02:40:04,000
That's exactly what happened.
2357
02:40:04,000 --> 02:40:24,000
And I think that, you know, when we have something that we really want and we actually create, like, of course, I had to learn English because if I wouldn't speak English, no one would even you know, like, I wouldn't be able to say that I want Yes.
2358
02:40:24,000 --> 02:40:24,000
Of course.
2359
02:40:24,000 --> 02:40:25,000
To yeah.
2360
02:40:25,000 --> 02:40:26,000
I wouldn't be able to express.
2361
02:40:26,000 --> 02:40:26,000
Right?
2362
02:40:26,000 --> 02:40:27,000
You know?
2363
02:40:27,000 --> 02:40:31,000
So so, clearly, there are strategies or action steps that I had to do.
2364
02:40:32,000 --> 02:40:41,000
But if I wouldn't have that in the back of my mind, I don't think that I would even seen the opportunities because there are a lot of opportunities around us that we don't notice.
2365
02:40:41,000 --> 02:40:42,000
Mhmm.
2366
02:40:42,000 --> 02:40:55,000
And but, you know, if if something is in the back of your mind, you're going to notice opportunities and you're going to create opportunities that are going to help you get to what you really want to get.
2367
02:40:55,000 --> 02:40:58,000
And so, I don't know.
2368
02:40:58,000 --> 02:41:00,000
This is how it always worked for me.
2369
02:41:00,000 --> 02:41:00,000
No.
2370
02:41:00,000 --> 02:41:00,000
No.
2371
02:41:00,000 --> 02:41:07,000
It's it's interesting that you've done it in that way because I'm thinking about some of the things that I do, which are very different than that.
2372
02:41:07,000 --> 02:41:09,000
So that's why I was asking.
2373
02:41:10,000 --> 02:41:11,000
Yeah.
2374
02:41:13,000 --> 02:41:15,000
So the image comes to you.
2375
02:41:16,000 --> 02:41:19,000
And do you see it as a visual?
2376
02:41:21,000 --> 02:41:22,000
Like, did you?
2377
02:41:22,000 --> 02:41:22,000
Okay.
2378
02:41:22,000 --> 02:41:23,000
Yes.
2379
02:41:23,000 --> 02:41:23,000
Yes.
2380
02:41:23,000 --> 02:41:30,000
Because I because you you use the word imagination, and I'm trying to make sure that it's not sense it's other senses and other things that are there.
2381
02:41:33,000 --> 02:41:34,000
Well, I think it's both.
2382
02:41:34,000 --> 02:41:43,000
I think for me, it's, I'm, I'm one of those weird human beings where it's all kind of balanced, to almost.
2383
02:41:43,000 --> 02:41:50,000
So I think that kinesthetic and visual are probably a little stronger than auditory, but I have all of them going on.
2384
02:41:51,000 --> 02:41:51,000
Right?
2385
02:41:51,000 --> 02:41:54,000
And so, I usually feel it.
2386
02:41:54,000 --> 02:41:59,000
That's why, to me, emotions, kinesthetic feeling is very important.
2387
02:41:59,000 --> 02:42:04,000
Like, I like I felt being in the room and teaching.
2388
02:42:04,000 --> 02:42:11,000
Like, I felt it physically, and I also had, an image of me doing it, you know.
2389
02:42:12,000 --> 02:42:13,000
Interesting.
2390
02:42:13,000 --> 02:42:16,000
I I I'm trying to think of myself.
2391
02:42:16,000 --> 02:42:19,000
I don't know if I have that type of imagery of outcomes.
2392
02:42:20,000 --> 02:42:22,000
I have certain in certain places.
2393
02:42:24,000 --> 02:42:25,000
I had the same thing with my school.
2394
02:42:26,000 --> 02:42:26,000
Right?
2395
02:42:26,000 --> 02:42:30,000
I mean, because, all of my colleagues were saying to me, like, why?
2396
02:42:30,000 --> 02:42:31,000
Why do we even need this?
2397
02:42:31,000 --> 02:42:34,000
Why do we need to have a school?
2398
02:42:34,000 --> 02:42:38,000
We have a really great practice of clients.
2399
02:42:38,000 --> 02:42:42,000
You you know, there's like, why create more more work for yourself?
2400
02:42:42,000 --> 02:42:44,000
You don't really need it.
2401
02:42:44,000 --> 02:42:46,000
But I can't explain it.
2402
02:42:46,000 --> 02:42:47,000
I just had this vision.
2403
02:42:48,000 --> 02:42:49,000
I'm a teacher at heart.
2404
02:42:49,000 --> 02:43:05,000
You know, first of all, I wanted to be more realized as a teacher, as someone who creates things, who creates courses, who teaches the way that I want to teach versus teaching it to a certain extent the way that someone else telling me how to teach.
2405
02:43:05,000 --> 02:43:05,000
Yeah.
2406
02:43:05,000 --> 02:43:06,000
Right?
2407
02:43:08,000 --> 02:43:10,000
And I just I don't know.
2408
02:43:10,000 --> 02:43:12,000
I just wanted to do it, and I did it.
2409
02:43:12,000 --> 02:43:12,000
That's it.
2410
02:43:12,000 --> 02:43:13,000
That's all I can
2411
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:13,000
do.
2412
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:13,000
No.
2413
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:13,000
No.
2414
02:43:13,000 --> 02:43:14,000
That's okay.
2415
02:43:14,000 --> 02:43:21,000
I, like I've said, there's we all develop I I don't know we all develop.
2416
02:43:21,000 --> 02:43:28,000
We we have inside of us different mechanisms to allow us to be able to make decisions, the decision making blueprint.
2417
02:43:28,000 --> 02:43:30,000
Yours has an imagery to it.
2418
02:43:31,000 --> 02:43:36,000
I don't have that same I I actually do have a book called it's my wife has never looked at it.
2419
02:43:36,000 --> 02:43:42,000
I have a book called this I it's kind of my success book, and I keep track of all my successes.
2420
02:43:43,000 --> 02:43:44,000
I it's in a list.
2421
02:43:44,000 --> 02:43:46,000
It's pages and pages of things that I've done.
2422
02:43:48,000 --> 02:43:53,000
Yet the reason is because people remember their failures better than they do their successes.
2423
02:43:53,000 --> 02:43:57,000
So I decided I'm only going to keep track of my successes.
2424
02:43:58,000 --> 02:43:59,000
And it's it's huge.
2425
02:43:59,000 --> 02:44:01,000
I mean, it it doesn't have to just be business.
2426
02:44:01,000 --> 02:44:14,000
It could be when I flew over Victoria Falls, in South Africa, or when I moved to Hong Kong, it was a it was the first time teaching at NYU, or it was the first time in country.
2427
02:44:14,000 --> 02:44:16,000
So I've kept track of all of those for years.
2428
02:44:16,000 --> 02:44:18,000
They're dated very small.
2429
02:44:18,000 --> 02:44:26,000
It says, you know, 2,008 Lithuania, Vilnius something.
2430
02:44:27,000 --> 02:44:29,000
But once I've done it, I can't add it twice.
2431
02:44:29,000 --> 02:44:36,000
And I use those as references to keep me on target to say that you can always add to the positive things that happen in your life.
2432
02:44:36,000 --> 02:44:38,000
But I don't have imagery the way you're describing it.
2433
02:44:38,000 --> 02:44:44,000
So I'm asking myself, maybe I can try to use imagery, and I'm thinking about how do I do that yet.
2434
02:44:44,000 --> 02:44:52,000
I draw paint and sculpt all the time, which it's funny because you would you'd probably assume that I have an image of something, which I don't.
2435
02:44:54,000 --> 02:44:58,000
Well, you know, it would be interesting, as an exercise, as a possibility.
2436
02:44:58,000 --> 02:44:59,000
You know?
2437
02:44:59,000 --> 02:45:03,000
Like, I'm I'm I'm making a inquiry.
2438
02:45:03,000 --> 02:45:03,000
No.
2439
02:45:03,000 --> 02:45:03,000
You're not.
2440
02:45:03,000 --> 02:45:06,000
You're you're you're giving advice, but you're you're couching it differently.
2441
02:45:07,000 --> 02:45:07,000
Go ahead.
2442
02:45:07,000 --> 02:45:08,000
Go ahead.
2443
02:45:08,000 --> 02:45:08,000
Go ahead.
2444
02:45:08,000 --> 02:45:09,000
I'm okay with it.
2445
02:45:09,000 --> 02:45:09,000
I'm okay.
2446
02:45:09,000 --> 02:45:10,000
Say it.
2447
02:45:10,000 --> 02:45:10,000
Say it.
2448
02:45:11,000 --> 02:45:12,000
Actually, it's not an advice.
2449
02:45:12,000 --> 02:45:13,000
No.
2450
02:45:13,000 --> 02:45:14,000
I'm I'm literally curious.
2451
02:45:14,000 --> 02:45:14,000
Okay.
2452
02:45:14,000 --> 02:45:15,000
I'm curious.
2453
02:45:15,000 --> 02:45:20,000
And if you don't think it's, something that you would, like to do, that's fine too.
2454
02:45:20,000 --> 02:45:25,000
Because when people give advice, they literally expect the advice to be followed.
2455
02:45:25,000 --> 02:45:26,000
That's really the nature.
2456
02:45:26,000 --> 02:45:28,000
That's actually the nature of advice.
2457
02:45:28,000 --> 02:45:29,000
That's it.
2458
02:45:29,000 --> 02:45:29,000
Right?
2459
02:45:30,000 --> 02:45:35,000
But if I share something, I don't expect that you necessarily going to even agree with me.
2460
02:45:35,000 --> 02:45:43,000
You may say, you know, I have another idea in mind or, you know, whatever you told me, it just doesn't resonate at all, which is fine because I have no attachment.
2461
02:45:43,000 --> 02:45:44,000
Like, 0.
2462
02:45:44,000 --> 02:45:45,000
But I'm curious.
2463
02:45:45,000 --> 02:45:52,000
I'm curious what would it look like if you were to paint your, future Yeah.
2464
02:45:53,000 --> 02:45:54,000
The way that you feel it.
2465
02:45:54,000 --> 02:45:55,000
So, yeah.
2466
02:45:55,000 --> 02:45:58,000
I'm I'm asking myself what might I even draw.
2467
02:45:58,000 --> 02:46:04,000
One of the things that I say to people is, would you like would you like a suggestion?
2468
02:46:04,000 --> 02:46:07,000
So I always ask people first.
2469
02:46:09,000 --> 02:46:15,000
Or I might say in certain environments, I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice.
2470
02:46:17,000 --> 02:46:23,000
And and I I but I will couch it that way because I let them know that that's what I'm doing.
2471
02:46:23,000 --> 02:46:31,000
I'm gonna give you some unsolicited advice or I'll say something there's a bunch of them I use, but I use them to let them open up.
2472
02:46:31,000 --> 02:46:35,000
So for example, you saw my background in behind me.
2473
02:46:35,000 --> 02:46:39,000
I would say that I've told, people get on and it just happened yesterday morning.
2474
02:46:39,000 --> 02:46:42,000
The person, wow, what a background.
2475
02:46:43,000 --> 02:46:46,000
And I said, would you like to hear the story?
2476
02:46:47,000 --> 02:46:49,000
I always say that.
2477
02:46:49,000 --> 02:46:52,000
Because if I started to tell it, they'd be bored as convey.
2478
02:46:52,000 --> 02:46:55,000
But when I say, would you like to hear the story?
2479
02:46:55,000 --> 02:46:57,000
Every single time, it is absolutely.
2480
02:46:58,000 --> 02:46:59,000
Oh, I'd love to.
2481
02:46:59,000 --> 02:47:03,000
But then you can tell a full story and no one's gonna interrupt because you've been given permission.
2482
02:47:04,000 --> 02:47:07,000
So in the case here, I I heard it before you even said it.
2483
02:47:07,000 --> 02:47:17,000
You had a piece of a suggestion that it would be interesting if I took the time to sit down and see what that looked like.
2484
02:47:17,000 --> 02:47:24,000
And I I don't think that's a bad thought because I I did get there, but it's an interesting thought because I don't know.
2485
02:47:24,000 --> 02:47:26,000
I don't know what I'd even put on there.
2486
02:47:28,000 --> 02:47:28,000
Yeah.
2487
02:47:29,000 --> 02:47:40,000
You know, I mean, I was thinking about abstract things that express emotion versus actually, you know, trying to create a map or something.
2488
02:47:40,000 --> 02:47:44,000
But, you know, I I was just curious Mhmm.
2489
02:47:44,000 --> 02:47:52,000
But, have, like, 0, like, you know it's it's whatever you whatever however you want wherever you wanna put it.
2490
02:47:52,000 --> 02:47:54,000
Whatever you wanna put it there.
2491
02:47:54,000 --> 02:48:00,000
The interesting thing if you had said to me, David, do you have and diagram of the 40 year plan?
2492
02:48:01,000 --> 02:48:03,000
And I could say to you, it's to my right.
2493
02:48:05,000 --> 02:48:05,000
Yes.
2494
02:48:05,000 --> 02:48:06,000
I've seen it.
2495
02:48:06,000 --> 02:48:06,000
No.
2496
02:48:06,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2497
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2498
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2499
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:07,000
No.
2500
02:48:07,000 --> 02:48:09,000
That's what you see behind me.
2501
02:48:09,000 --> 02:48:12,000
There actually is and there's a there's a whole video of this.
2502
02:48:13,000 --> 02:48:14,000
I sat down.
2503
02:48:14,000 --> 02:48:16,000
I've done about a 100 of these.
2504
02:48:16,000 --> 02:48:20,000
I draw out out of my head without predrawing in almost every case.
2505
02:48:21,000 --> 02:48:26,000
And I drew a whole picture of what do I see involved in the 40 years.
2506
02:48:27,000 --> 02:48:28,000
It's already outlined.
2507
02:48:29,000 --> 02:48:30,000
And there's a picture of it.
2508
02:48:30,000 --> 02:48:33,000
So I can see what that's supposed to be.
2509
02:48:34,000 --> 02:48:34,000
That I can.
2510
02:48:34,000 --> 02:48:36,000
And I drew it out.
2511
02:48:36,000 --> 02:48:38,000
But I don't have a a lifelong.
2512
02:48:39,000 --> 02:48:46,000
So that's an interesting, and it would probably take some time for my I don't like to like I don't sketch it out.
2513
02:48:46,000 --> 02:48:49,000
I just sit and I say, okay, let me draw it.
2514
02:48:49,000 --> 02:48:50,000
And there's an imagery to it.
2515
02:48:50,000 --> 02:48:53,000
So so let's hit some of these bonuses here.
2516
02:48:53,000 --> 02:49:00,000
You had checking your assumptions, using to your own thoughts, listening to thoughts of others, reshaping the future.
2517
02:49:00,000 --> 02:49:01,000
What do you wanna hit?
2518
02:49:03,000 --> 02:49:04,000
I I don't know.
2519
02:49:04,000 --> 02:49:06,000
It's like I'm looking at the clock.
2520
02:49:06,000 --> 02:49:07,000
Don't Actually.
2521
02:49:07,000 --> 02:49:09,000
Unless unless you don't want to, that's fine.
2522
02:49:10,000 --> 02:49:17,000
I did the longest, we had on our other podcast series, I got a call by this guy named Casey.
2523
02:49:18,000 --> 02:49:20,000
And he said he said, I wanna be on your podcast.
2524
02:49:21,000 --> 02:49:22,000
And I said, okay.
2525
02:49:22,000 --> 02:49:23,000
He says, let me tell you something.
2526
02:49:23,000 --> 02:49:27,000
I've listened to every podcast that you've produced that's available.
2527
02:49:28,000 --> 02:49:35,000
And in every podcast, someone says something they've I've never heard them say before.
2528
02:49:35,000 --> 02:49:38,000
He said, there's a guy by the name of Robert Zubrin on the podcast.
2529
02:49:38,000 --> 02:49:39,000
I'm making it.
2530
02:49:39,000 --> 02:49:41,000
He's a founder of the Mars Society.
2531
02:49:41,000 --> 02:49:44,000
He said and he's about I think he's 37, 38.
2532
02:49:44,000 --> 02:49:48,000
He said, I've been listening to him since I'm 9.
2533
02:49:48,000 --> 02:49:51,000
I've read every single thing he's written.
2534
02:49:51,000 --> 02:49:53,000
I've heard every interview he's ever had.
2535
02:49:53,000 --> 02:49:59,000
I've inter looked at every single thing that he has produced audio, whatever.
2536
02:49:59,000 --> 02:50:01,000
I've been to all the speeches.
2537
02:50:01,000 --> 02:50:06,000
And he said things on your show he's never said before in his entire life.
2538
02:50:06,000 --> 02:50:14,000
And he said and almost everybody that I know that has been on has said things that I've never heard from them on your podcast.
2539
02:50:15,000 --> 02:50:17,000
So I don't know why.
2540
02:50:18,000 --> 02:50:21,000
Maybe I'm a pain in the as I've said earlier.
2541
02:50:21,000 --> 02:50:25,000
I take people on a different journey, but I'm actually here to learn from you.
2542
02:50:26,000 --> 02:50:26,000
That's it.
2543
02:50:26,000 --> 02:50:29,000
So, we've had podcasts.
2544
02:50:29,000 --> 02:50:31,000
The longest one, 5 and a half hours.
2545
02:50:31,000 --> 02:50:35,000
Zig Ziglar said something, in the podcast.
2546
02:50:35,000 --> 02:50:36,000
I was asking him questions.
2547
02:50:36,000 --> 02:50:37,000
I didn't understand what he was talking about.
2548
02:50:37,000 --> 02:50:39,000
And he said, oh, David.
2549
02:50:40,000 --> 02:50:41,000
I don't know how to run a business.
2550
02:50:42,000 --> 02:50:44,000
I write speech I write speeches.
2551
02:50:44,000 --> 02:50:47,000
I give speeches, and it was something else.
2552
02:50:47,000 --> 02:50:49,000
I I didn't know how to run a business.
2553
02:50:49,000 --> 02:50:49,000
I gave it to my son.
2554
02:50:49,000 --> 02:50:50,000
He does that.
2555
02:50:50,000 --> 02:50:51,000
I don't do any of that.
2556
02:50:51,000 --> 02:50:52,000
He'd never said that.
2557
02:50:52,000 --> 02:50:53,000
No.
2558
02:50:53,000 --> 02:50:55,000
I I couldn't figure out how he's building his businesses.
2559
02:50:55,000 --> 02:50:57,000
And he said, I don't do that.
2560
02:50:58,000 --> 02:51:03,000
Or Jill Tarter who started SETI, Search for Extra Extra Extra Life.
2561
02:51:04,000 --> 02:51:08,000
Halfway during the interview, she said, well, I'm on the call with you so you can give me answers.
2562
02:51:10,000 --> 02:51:10,000
Okay.
2563
02:51:10,000 --> 02:51:12,000
I didn't realize that.
2564
02:51:12,000 --> 02:51:16,000
So I'm so if you want to, it's up to you.
2565
02:51:16,000 --> 02:51:18,000
If you're if you're good, we could stop.
2566
02:51:18,000 --> 02:51:19,000
I'm here to learn from you.
2567
02:51:19,000 --> 02:51:20,000
I've got you on the call.
2568
02:51:20,000 --> 02:51:21,000
You'll never be on again.
2569
02:51:21,000 --> 02:51:24,000
If you wanna talk about these things, good.
2570
02:51:24,000 --> 02:51:26,000
If you don't, I'm good too.
2571
02:51:26,000 --> 02:51:29,000
I'm I I do not back to back an interview.
2572
02:51:29,000 --> 02:51:33,000
I always put time afterwards just in case.
2573
02:51:33,000 --> 02:51:36,000
And the longest interview I ever did, 5 and a half hours.
2574
02:51:37,000 --> 02:51:40,000
And it took a while to get warmed up like we did.
2575
02:51:42,000 --> 02:51:54,000
And he he I I was bursting from all the drinking, and I got on and we after the call, I I said I I grabbed the, my cup and I said, I'm dying here.
2576
02:51:54,000 --> 02:51:56,000
We you created a safe word.
2577
02:51:57,000 --> 02:52:02,000
He created first one ever said, we need a safe word because if I have to go to the bathroom, I need a safe word.
2578
02:52:02,000 --> 02:52:03,000
I said, great.
2579
02:52:03,000 --> 02:52:04,000
But we're not gonna edit.
2580
02:52:04,000 --> 02:52:05,000
We'll just cut out the section.
2581
02:52:05,000 --> 02:52:06,000
We'll just be quiet.
2582
02:52:07,000 --> 02:52:08,000
He he lifts up a bottle.
2583
02:52:08,000 --> 02:52:09,000
He says, I drank this.
2584
02:52:10,000 --> 02:52:11,000
Then I drank this.
2585
02:52:12,000 --> 02:52:12,000
Then I drank this.
2586
02:52:12,000 --> 02:52:14,000
And I'm thinking, how are you drinking so much?
2587
02:52:14,000 --> 02:52:19,000
Then he picked he reached down, picked up a bottle, lifted it up, and it was full.
2588
02:52:20,000 --> 02:52:23,000
And he said, I drank this and then I filled it.
2589
02:52:23,000 --> 02:52:27,000
So he was filling it while he was on the call.
2590
02:52:28,000 --> 02:52:31,000
He's a helicopter military helicopter pilot.
2591
02:52:32,000 --> 02:52:34,000
So to him, it wasn't a big deal.
2592
02:52:34,000 --> 02:52:35,000
You just keep on going.
2593
02:52:36,000 --> 02:52:37,000
So that was, no.
2594
02:52:37,000 --> 02:52:38,000
That was in 5 and a half hours.
2595
02:52:38,000 --> 02:52:40,000
5 and a half hour that was 3 4 and a half hours.
2596
02:52:40,000 --> 02:52:42,000
Another one was 5 and a half hours just recently.
2597
02:52:42,000 --> 02:52:44,000
So up to you.
2598
02:52:44,000 --> 02:52:48,000
You, if you wanna talk about these few, hit them quickly or not.
2599
02:52:48,000 --> 02:52:49,000
You tell me.
2600
02:52:51,000 --> 02:52:51,000
Okay.
2601
02:52:51,000 --> 02:52:54,000
Well, you know, so, yeah, we can we can hit them quickly.
2602
02:52:54,000 --> 02:52:54,000
Go ahead.
2603
02:52:55,000 --> 02:52:56,000
Rock and rock and roll.
2604
02:52:56,000 --> 02:52:57,000
I'll I'll try to sit back a little bit.
2605
02:52:57,000 --> 02:52:58,000
Go ahead.
2606
02:52:59,000 --> 02:52:59,000
Okay.
2607
02:53:00,000 --> 02:53:01,000
So okay.
2608
02:53:01,000 --> 02:53:03,000
So checking your assumptions, that's the next one.
2609
02:53:03,000 --> 02:53:04,000
Right?
2610
02:53:04,000 --> 02:53:15,000
And so I I think it's just important, when you are coming up with all of those things and when you are making a decision, when you when you already have your
2611
02:53:15,000 --> 02:53:18,000
you know, you you know where you're going, where how
2612
02:53:18,000 --> 02:53:20,000
you wanna get there, and all of those things.
2613
02:53:22,000 --> 02:53:24,000
It's really important to check your assumptions.
2614
02:53:26,000 --> 02:53:35,000
I attend where you one of the one of the courses that I taught was interpersonal communication, class, and I created an experiment.
2615
02:53:35,000 --> 02:53:41,000
And the experiment was based on my acting background, and it was just really interesting.
2616
02:53:41,000 --> 02:53:42,000
So very simple.
2617
02:53:42,000 --> 02:53:57,000
I told, I took 2 students, and I said, I'd like one of you to be imagining that you're knocking on the door, your neighbors, and you're knocking on the door to, borrow some whatever, eggs or milk.
2618
02:53:58,000 --> 02:54:13,000
And the person who is opening the door, I'd like you to know that this person who is knocking on your door, she or he has been recently released from prison.
2619
02:54:14,000 --> 02:54:14,000
Okay.
2620
02:54:14,000 --> 02:54:17,000
Or whatever whatever negative thing that you want to think.
2621
02:54:17,000 --> 02:54:18,000
Right?
2622
02:54:18,000 --> 02:54:21,000
And so the person who's opening the door, she's not saying a word.
2623
02:54:21,000 --> 02:54:22,000
Right?
2624
02:54:22,000 --> 02:54:28,000
And, the person who's asking, she's just like, you know, asking regular regular voice, you know, because she doesn't know.
2625
02:54:28,000 --> 02:54:30,000
She doesn't know what the other person is thinking.
2626
02:54:30,000 --> 02:54:47,000
So I told them separately, well, you asked this in front of the whole class, and I whispered in the, other, you know, in the other person's ear, like, I want you to say to know, as you're opening the door, I know that she has been released from prison prison, like, recently.
2627
02:54:48,000 --> 02:54:53,000
And so they go through this, like, 22nd exercise.
2628
02:54:54,000 --> 02:54:55,000
And then I said, okay.
2629
02:54:55,000 --> 02:54:56,000
Let's do this again.
2630
02:54:56,000 --> 02:55:11,000
And then I took aside the the person who's opening the door and I say to her, well, I know so now that you opened the door, I want you to imagine that this is a neighbor with whom you really wanted to get closer and become friends for a long time, and you're so excited that she's finally knocking on your door.
2631
02:55:12,000 --> 02:55:13,000
Right?
2632
02:55:13,000 --> 02:55:27,000
And so, and then when this happened, the interesting very, very interesting thing that happened as a result of it is that the person who was asking to borrow milk felt the response even though nothing was ever said.
2633
02:55:27,000 --> 02:55:28,000
Oh, okay.
2634
02:55:28,000 --> 02:55:29,000
Yes.
2635
02:55:29,000 --> 02:55:29,000
Yeah.
2636
02:55:30,000 --> 02:55:30,000
Right.
2637
02:55:31,000 --> 02:55:47,000
And so, but I was also asking the person who was opening the door, imaginary door, what were what were her expectations based on what she knew or thought that she knew about the other person.
2638
02:55:48,000 --> 02:55:48,000
Right?
2639
02:55:48,000 --> 02:55:50,000
And then we kinda switched.
2640
02:55:50,000 --> 02:55:55,000
And the person who was asking, I gave them, like, a negative image and then the positive image.
2641
02:55:56,000 --> 02:56:17,000
And so, the bottom the bottom the bottom line of this exercise is that what you assume of other people and of how they're going to receive you or not receive you and what you think of them is going to 100% impact the result of that conversation.
2642
02:56:19,000 --> 02:56:20,000
Right?
2643
02:56:20,000 --> 02:56:35,000
And so, it's so important, to check your assumptions because sometimes we think that people read our minds and sometimes they actually do in that sense, you know, because we do pick up energy.
2644
02:56:35,000 --> 02:56:40,000
We pick up energy from other people because the our basic nature is animal nature.
2645
02:56:40,000 --> 02:56:41,000
Right?
2646
02:56:41,000 --> 02:56:43,000
So we pick up we know when someone is afraid.
2647
02:56:43,000 --> 02:56:49,000
We know when someone is happy, without them necessarily sharing that out loud.
2648
02:56:49,000 --> 02:56:49,000
Mhmm.
2649
02:56:49,000 --> 02:56:50,000
Yep.
2650
02:56:52,000 --> 02:56:55,000
So that was a point that I wanted to make.
2651
02:56:56,000 --> 02:56:57,000
Should I go to the
2652
02:56:57,000 --> 02:57:05,000
actual I mean, the the first thing that just one thing that came about is we I I say that I actually use this too.
2653
02:57:05,000 --> 02:57:09,000
I say we build our lives because of assumptions.
2654
02:57:09,000 --> 02:57:10,000
We have to.
2655
02:57:10,000 --> 02:57:18,000
So for example, when we get out of bed, we put our feet on the ground, and we make the assumption that gravity works.
2656
02:57:19,000 --> 02:57:23,000
So that's how we're able to balance our lives.
2657
02:57:23,000 --> 02:57:27,000
If everything was unassumable, then we'd have a lot of challenges.
2658
02:57:27,000 --> 02:57:34,000
So I guess I would kinda add a layer on top that we make the some assumptions work for us and some don't.
2659
02:57:34,000 --> 02:57:36,000
We have to figure out which ones do and don't.
2660
02:57:38,000 --> 02:57:39,000
Right.
2661
02:57:39,000 --> 02:57:39,000
Exactly.
2662
02:57:39,000 --> 02:57:40,000
Okay.
2663
02:57:41,000 --> 02:57:42,000
Okay.
2664
02:57:42,000 --> 02:57:46,000
And so the next one, is listening to your own thoughts.
2665
02:57:46,000 --> 02:57:56,000
So, many people at a very different level, share with me their personal gremlins.
2666
02:57:57,000 --> 02:58:00,000
And so, thoughts that are kind of undermining thoughts.
2667
02:58:00,000 --> 02:58:01,000
Yeah.
2668
02:58:03,000 --> 02:58:16,000
And, I'm actually surprised how many people who are, like, leaders and, like, you would think that they wouldn't have those doubts and, but they're human beings just like the rest of us.
2669
02:58:17,000 --> 02:58:25,000
And, I I I'm especially amazed to hear some things like, you know, I'm not I'm not good enough.
2670
02:58:25,000 --> 02:58:27,000
I think I'm gonna fail or whatever.
2671
02:58:28,000 --> 02:58:31,000
Or usually, it's the voice that's coming from outside in.
2672
02:58:31,000 --> 02:58:37,000
So it's like, you're gonna fail or you don't deserve this or who do you think you are or whatever things.
2673
02:58:37,000 --> 02:58:58,000
And so I think that, the these thoughts are important because I think that if you realize that you're more than your thoughts, then you can shift them and change them and actually embrace them, not agreeing with them, but maybe having a conversation.
2674
02:58:58,000 --> 02:59:12,000
So there's a a really cool technique that I use that I that I like to use, which is called parts technique, where you literally ask where does this voice coming from, who's this who's this voice belong to.
2675
02:59:14,000 --> 02:59:25,000
But then also inviting that, imagery, right, to talk to other parts of you because you have more than we all have.
2676
02:59:25,000 --> 02:59:45,000
Each person has lots of different parts, and so a part that wants to go out, a part that wants to stay in, And so most of those sort of negative parts, there are two variations of those of those type of parts.
2677
02:59:45,000 --> 02:59:58,000
One that the voice that comes from someone else we used to know, like, usually, not very supportive parent or maybe not very supportive teacher or an older brother or something like that.
2678
02:59:58,000 --> 03:00:04,000
And, there's a there are probably, you know, different techniques for that.
2679
03:00:04,000 --> 03:00:10,000
But, also, there are voices that literally represent another part of you.
2680
03:00:10,000 --> 03:00:25,000
And if it's another part of you and if it's genuine part, it it is usually it usually sounds like it's, a negative part, some something that, creates an obstacle, towards what we want to achieve.
2681
03:00:25,000 --> 03:00:31,000
But in reality, all the all that part wants or those parts want is to protect us.
2682
03:00:32,000 --> 03:00:42,000
It's coming they're coming from a really positive intention of protecting us from failing, protecting us from losing, faith or losing money or whatever.
2683
03:00:42,000 --> 03:00:46,000
It's just about or even protecting us from getting hurt.
2684
03:00:46,000 --> 03:00:49,000
So even physical safety or emotional safety.
2685
03:00:50,000 --> 03:00:58,000
And so, and when we invite other parts, then they can actually talk it out.
2686
03:00:59,000 --> 03:01:08,000
And when the there is this realization usually that, oh my goodness, all this part wants is to actually help me.
2687
03:01:08,000 --> 03:01:16,000
All this part wants is just to save me or protect me, then you can come to compromises.
2688
03:01:17,000 --> 03:01:18,000
You can come to agreements.
2689
03:01:20,000 --> 03:01:40,000
I even have this, technique called conference table, where I invite all of the parts to the conference table, and then and then they end up, signing an agreement or hugging it out or in whatever way that they can actually feel that they're on the same page and, working together.
2690
03:01:41,000 --> 03:01:50,000
Because the thing to remember is that each part is, actually a team member of the host.
2691
03:01:50,000 --> 03:01:50,000
Right?
2692
03:01:50,000 --> 03:01:53,000
You know, who whoever has all of these parts.
2693
03:01:53,000 --> 03:01:58,000
So it's very exciting, and I work with my parts too because I know it's probably the next question.
2694
03:02:01,000 --> 03:02:01,000
Right?
2695
03:02:01,000 --> 03:02:08,000
And so I I I have many, many of them because I'm pretty complex individual as many creative people are.
2696
03:02:08,000 --> 03:02:13,000
I'm sure you have tons and tons of parts as well, whether you know them
2697
03:02:13,000 --> 03:02:13,000
or not.
2698
03:02:13,000 --> 03:02:16,000
I'm reminded by people that I'm too complex.
2699
03:02:16,000 --> 03:02:18,000
I should narrow it down.
2700
03:02:21,000 --> 03:02:21,000
Right.
2701
03:02:21,000 --> 03:02:22,000
And it's fun.
2702
03:02:22,000 --> 03:02:25,000
It's fun when you begin to understand them and when they meet each other.
2703
03:02:27,000 --> 03:02:31,000
Like, my daughter and I, she always says, oh, I see who's coming out here right now.
2704
03:02:32,000 --> 03:02:33,000
Right?
2705
03:02:33,000 --> 03:02:35,000
And it's gonna yeah.
2706
03:02:35,000 --> 03:02:48,000
It's fun and it's creative, but the most important thing is that you can churn the behavior of parts that I have been kind of creating obstacles into something that's actually going to be helping you to move forward.
2707
03:02:48,000 --> 03:02:53,000
Because they're just going to need another job to do or to do their job differently rather.
2708
03:02:53,000 --> 03:03:04,000
So their their intention is amazing, but how can you help me, without making me, like, fail at my interview or something else would happen.
2709
03:03:04,000 --> 03:03:04,000
Right?
2710
03:03:04,000 --> 03:03:05,000
Yeah.
2711
03:03:05,000 --> 03:03:05,000
Absolutely.
2712
03:03:06,000 --> 03:03:07,000
So that's Yeah.
2713
03:03:07,000 --> 03:03:08,000
That's number 2.
2714
03:03:08,000 --> 03:03:08,000
Like, you know
2715
03:03:08,000 --> 03:03:11,000
And so but you did you said your thoughts.
2716
03:03:11,000 --> 03:03:21,000
So when you say, you're a complex person, what give me a definition of how you see that falling into your life.
2717
03:03:21,000 --> 03:03:23,000
Like, do you what do you do so differently?
2718
03:03:23,000 --> 03:03:24,000
Yeah.
2719
03:03:25,000 --> 03:03:25,000
Yeah.
2720
03:03:25,000 --> 03:03:28,000
Like, for instance, this is a very good example.
2721
03:03:29,000 --> 03:03:34,000
A part of me that wants to go out because I have a part that really loves people and wants to hang out.
2722
03:03:34,000 --> 03:03:36,000
And I also love dancing and all of that.
2723
03:03:36,000 --> 03:03:43,000
But there's also a very much introverted part that wants to just be left alone and read a book and just stay home.
2724
03:03:43,000 --> 03:03:43,000
Yep.
2725
03:03:44,000 --> 03:03:44,000
Right?
2726
03:03:44,000 --> 03:03:53,000
And so, when when 2 parts, want opposite things, it creates an internal conflict.
2727
03:03:54,000 --> 03:03:57,000
And, it just doesn't feel too good.
2728
03:03:57,000 --> 03:03:58,000
Right?
2729
03:03:58,000 --> 03:04:02,000
Because, again, then you find yourself at a decision point that you can't seem to be making.
2730
03:04:02,000 --> 03:04:04,000
Like, you don't know what to do.
2731
03:04:04,000 --> 03:04:04,000
You know?
2732
03:04:04,000 --> 03:04:06,000
Like, on one hand, I wanna do this.
2733
03:04:06,000 --> 03:04:07,000
On the other hand, I wanna do that.
2734
03:04:07,000 --> 03:04:08,000
So what do I do?
2735
03:04:08,000 --> 03:04:10,000
I get I literally have them talk it out.
2736
03:04:10,000 --> 03:04:11,000
Okay.
2737
03:04:11,000 --> 03:04:11,000
Okay.
2738
03:04:12,000 --> 03:04:13,000
So they have a conversation.
2739
03:04:14,000 --> 03:04:18,000
So those two parts are going to have a conversation, and they're going to come to a decision together.
2740
03:04:20,000 --> 03:04:20,000
That's it.
2741
03:04:20,000 --> 03:04:21,000
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
2742
03:04:24,000 --> 03:04:25,000
I'm much more of an introvert
2743
03:04:25,000 --> 03:04:26,000
for sure.
2744
03:04:26,000 --> 03:04:34,000
Because I am definitely an introvert, and yet I've learned to turn it on to make it work when I go out.
2745
03:04:34,000 --> 03:04:34,000
Exactly.
2746
03:04:34,000 --> 03:04:36,000
And and Exactly.
2747
03:04:36,000 --> 03:04:39,000
When you dance, you could either dance by yourself or you go out and dance.
2748
03:04:39,000 --> 03:04:41,000
So I have to be out.
2749
03:04:42,000 --> 03:04:48,000
And even, when I go to a conference, if I'm not speaking, I don't meet a lot of people.
2750
03:04:48,000 --> 03:04:52,000
But the reason I speak is then everybody knows me.
2751
03:04:52,000 --> 03:04:53,000
I don't have to do anything.
2752
03:04:53,000 --> 03:04:54,000
They all come up.
2753
03:04:57,000 --> 03:04:58,000
Exactly.
2754
03:04:58,000 --> 03:05:08,000
I was just talking to, one of my students, and we're talking about selling your services, because you have to sell your services as a coach.
2755
03:05:09,000 --> 03:05:13,000
And so we were talking about intro being introvert versus being extrovert.
2756
03:05:14,000 --> 03:05:17,000
And I said, I'm so which is true.
2757
03:05:17,000 --> 03:05:22,000
I'm just so uncomfortable, introducing myself to someone who doesn't know who I am.
2758
03:05:23,000 --> 03:05:25,000
I would just much rather be in the corner somewhere.
2759
03:05:26,000 --> 03:05:27,000
And I'm okay.
2760
03:05:27,000 --> 03:05:30,000
I like to spend the whole evening somewhere in the corner, and no one knows me.
2761
03:05:31,000 --> 03:05:39,000
But if people know me and they expect me, I'm I'm I'm okay to, you know, introduce myself and do my bit and whatever.
2762
03:05:39,000 --> 03:05:39,000
Right?
2763
03:05:39,000 --> 03:05:40,000
So I'm friendly.
2764
03:05:40,000 --> 03:05:49,000
I'm friendly, and I like people, but there's definitely this, like, level of discomfort, to make the first move.
2765
03:05:49,000 --> 03:05:55,000
And I have to push myself when I want to kinda reach out, like you were saying, like, even joining a dance class.
2766
03:05:55,000 --> 03:05:55,000
Yeah.
2767
03:05:55,000 --> 03:05:56,000
Like, when no one knows you.
2768
03:05:56,000 --> 03:05:57,000
No one cares where you are.
2769
03:05:57,000 --> 03:05:58,000
Right?
2770
03:05:58,000 --> 03:05:58,000
You know?
2771
03:05:58,000 --> 03:06:05,000
And, you wanna be friendly, but, you have to kinda, make the first move and say, you know, hi.
2772
03:06:05,000 --> 03:06:06,000
I'm someone
2773
03:06:06,000 --> 03:06:07,000
who knows what you're talking about.
2774
03:06:07,000 --> 03:06:08,000
With somebody.
2775
03:06:08,000 --> 03:06:09,000
You get to meet them.
2776
03:06:09,000 --> 03:06:11,000
It's kind of, it's coordinated.
2777
03:06:14,000 --> 03:06:14,000
Mhmm.
2778
03:06:14,000 --> 03:06:14,000
Yeah.
2779
03:06:15,000 --> 03:06:20,000
And it's much more challenging in a networking environment where no one knows you and, you know, so on.
2780
03:06:20,000 --> 03:06:22,000
But, yeah.
2781
03:06:22,000 --> 03:06:23,000
So that's why I prefer writing.
2782
03:06:24,000 --> 03:06:26,000
I prefer being a guest on a podcast.
2783
03:06:27,000 --> 03:06:34,000
I prefer all of these other ways of, getting myself out there, versus going to a networking meeting.
2784
03:06:35,000 --> 03:06:42,000
Where no one knows The first podcast I ever did was back in the, like, 1999 or 2000 or whatever.
2785
03:06:43,000 --> 03:06:48,000
The reason I started the podcast series is because I was not a well known person in the industry.
2786
03:06:50,000 --> 03:06:52,000
And so what I did is I started a podcast.
2787
03:06:52,000 --> 03:07:10,000
It ended up I mean, it was, I had Tom Peters and Brian Tracy and Jay Abraham and Keith Ferrazzi and who wrote the guy wrote whom my cheese and Ken Blanchard, like, How to Swim Without the Sharks, Harvey MacKay.
2788
03:07:10,000 --> 03:07:13,000
And I had all these it was Zig Ziglar.
2789
03:07:13,000 --> 03:07:15,000
I had all of these people who were on the program.
2790
03:07:16,000 --> 03:07:19,000
And they all wanted to listen to them, and they ended up knowing me.
2791
03:07:19,000 --> 03:07:22,000
So I used it as I wanted to learn.
2792
03:07:22,000 --> 03:07:23,000
That was the number one reason.
2793
03:07:24,000 --> 03:07:31,000
But if you called up Zig Ziglar and said, I wanna learn from you, well, not gonna get a big call, or Brian or any of these character these guys.
2794
03:07:31,000 --> 03:07:43,000
And so what I did is I started a podcast series, and it was the podcast series for the New York State chapter of the, National Speakers Association, which we could do a 1,000 members worldwide.
2795
03:07:43,000 --> 03:07:46,000
And that was how I got the introduction to all the people.
2796
03:07:46,000 --> 03:07:49,000
So I just called up and said, we have podcast series.
2797
03:07:49,000 --> 03:07:53,000
So, yeah, leveraging that so that I didn't have to do it the other way.
2798
03:07:56,000 --> 03:07:56,000
Exactly.
2799
03:07:56,000 --> 03:08:00,000
I did I did, something very, very similar with Life Coach TV.
2800
03:08:01,000 --> 03:08:17,000
So when I joined, when I joined the, New York City, chapter, even before I was the president, there, I volunteered to run a a TV show because I was familiar with how to do it, and it wasn't a big deal for me.
2801
03:08:17,000 --> 03:08:19,000
And that's exactly what I was doing.
2802
03:08:19,000 --> 03:08:30,000
And then in 2006, one of my clients, Zeko Smirnoff, he was doing a Broadway show, and I said, well, can you, give can we create something after the show?
2803
03:08:30,000 --> 03:08:35,000
And so some people still remember me because of what I did back then, you know, back in 2006.
2804
03:08:35,000 --> 03:08:36,000
Kinda kinda crazy.
2805
03:08:36,000 --> 03:08:40,000
I was able to get 400 free tickets to to his Broadway show.
2806
03:08:40,000 --> 03:08:41,000
100?
2807
03:08:42,000 --> 03:08:47,000
To 400 tickets, yeah, to, to to coaches for coaches an hour an hour Yeah.
2808
03:08:47,000 --> 03:08:48,000
Chapter back then.
2809
03:08:48,000 --> 03:08:50,000
And and that starts the ball rolling.
2810
03:08:50,000 --> 03:08:54,000
You've got some way to you've got a conversation first to be able to make that happen.
2811
03:08:55,000 --> 03:08:55,000
Yeah.
2812
03:08:55,000 --> 03:09:05,000
For me, I don't, I don't meet people as easily, but when it starts to happen, I can definitely have a conversation, can turn, you know, turn it on and but walking up, no.
2813
03:09:05,000 --> 03:09:08,000
I'm not the person who walks up unless I have to.
2814
03:09:08,000 --> 03:09:09,000
Unless I have to.
2815
03:09:09,000 --> 03:09:10,000
Like, I know.
2816
03:09:10,000 --> 03:09:12,000
I know that that's what I've gotta do.
2817
03:09:12,000 --> 03:09:15,000
So I I, you know, I I don't really squeeze my fist together.
2818
03:09:15,000 --> 03:09:17,000
But let's assume that I had some type, like, okay.
2819
03:09:17,000 --> 03:09:19,000
I'm gonna do this.
2820
03:09:19,000 --> 03:09:21,000
And I make that walk up and, just Yeah.
2821
03:09:21,000 --> 03:09:21,000
Yeah.
2822
03:09:21,000 --> 03:09:23,000
So great.
2823
03:09:23,000 --> 03:09:26,000
How listening, so next one on the points.
2824
03:09:28,000 --> 03:09:28,000
Yeah.
2825
03:09:28,000 --> 03:09:30,000
I mean, I think it's kinda obvious.
2826
03:09:30,000 --> 03:09:43,000
List listening to the thoughts of others is pretty obvious because when you are open to think to listen to the thoughts of others, and you are opening yourself to different possibilities and to seeing things differently.
2827
03:09:44,000 --> 03:10:06,000
And I think that, what we need to remember when we listen to others is to listen exactly again, something that we were taught in coaching is to listen with the intention to understand, versus listening with the intention to defend your own position or offer something else.
2828
03:10:07,000 --> 03:10:16,000
Just being in the moment while the other person is speaking and just trying to digest it, before coming up with the answer being really open.
2829
03:10:16,000 --> 03:10:24,000
If you noticed, our conversation changed because I was I wanted to hear you.
2830
03:10:24,000 --> 03:10:35,000
So I when you started to share some things about you because you were giving it a methodology, I was actually trying to hear your thinking.
2831
03:10:36,000 --> 03:10:39,000
Once I heard it, I was able to adapt.
2832
03:10:39,000 --> 03:10:41,000
But I couldn't hear you thinking.
2833
03:10:41,000 --> 03:10:46,000
I was hearing you sharing, and that was different to me.
2834
03:10:46,000 --> 03:10:47,000
I didn't I couldn't follow it.
2835
03:10:48,000 --> 03:10:54,000
The minute I heard, oh, this is the way I do it, oh, now I can bite into that.
2836
03:10:57,000 --> 03:10:58,000
Does it make sense?
2837
03:11:01,000 --> 03:11:01,000
I
2838
03:11:01,000 --> 03:11:02,000
said, does it make sense
2839
03:11:02,000 --> 03:11:02,000
to you?
2840
03:11:02,000 --> 03:11:06,000
Looking for, that connection, though, because I couldn't find it.
2841
03:11:06,000 --> 03:11:10,000
Now, actually, if you go back to our original conversation weeks ago, it was the same thing.
2842
03:11:11,000 --> 03:11:19,000
I'm trying to find the person inside of the I'm gonna say interview, but in the I'm trying to find the person that I'm talking to during the call.
2843
03:11:19,000 --> 03:11:24,000
And that's what happened once I once I could bite into something.
2844
03:11:25,000 --> 03:11:34,000
But when I'm having a conversation with people, I'll often say, let me share with you if we're talking and they're not getting some let me share with you the steps that I would go through personally.
2845
03:11:35,000 --> 03:11:37,000
Oh, then I can relate it.
2846
03:11:37,000 --> 03:11:41,000
Not as to what somebody else said at another place at another time.
2847
03:11:41,000 --> 03:11:53,000
So, there's someone else who came up with that quote that said, first, listen to understand, then not to there's actually a quote for that, and I can't remember what it is.
2848
03:11:54,000 --> 03:11:57,000
It's like a it's a it's either a verse or something.
2849
03:11:57,000 --> 03:12:05,000
1st first, learn to listen to first listen to understand, then something.
2850
03:12:05,000 --> 03:12:06,000
And I can't remember what it is.
2851
03:12:06,000 --> 03:12:08,000
So I was just trying to find it in my head.
2852
03:12:09,000 --> 03:12:10,000
What's the last one?
2853
03:12:10,000 --> 03:12:12,000
Reshaping our future includes reshaping your past.
2854
03:12:12,000 --> 03:12:14,000
This one, I gotta hear.
2855
03:12:14,000 --> 03:12:16,000
Definitely gotta hear.
2856
03:12:19,000 --> 03:12:19,000
Yeah.
2857
03:12:19,000 --> 03:12:22,000
I mean, we could definitely spend another 2 hours on this.
2858
03:12:22,000 --> 03:12:24,000
Well, you you you tossed it in the bottom.
2859
03:12:24,000 --> 03:12:24,000
So
2860
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:26,000
But yeah.
2861
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:26,000
No.
2862
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:26,000
Yeah.
2863
03:12:26,000 --> 03:12:35,000
I I tossed it in the bottom because it's not really what I do all that much as a coach.
2864
03:12:36,000 --> 03:12:38,000
It's something that I did more as a hypnotist.
2865
03:12:38,000 --> 03:12:39,000
Oh.
2866
03:12:39,000 --> 03:12:40,000
But we do use
2867
03:12:40,000 --> 03:12:41,000
I didn't tie that together.
2868
03:12:42,000 --> 03:12:42,000
Yeah.
2869
03:12:42,000 --> 03:12:48,000
But we but we do but we do, you know, we do employ some of the techniques in coaching as well.
2870
03:12:48,000 --> 03:12:50,000
Well, tell me the hypnotist side.
2871
03:12:50,000 --> 03:12:51,000
I'm okay with that.
2872
03:12:53,000 --> 03:12:53,000
Yeah.
2873
03:12:53,000 --> 03:12:53,000
No.
2874
03:12:53,000 --> 03:13:02,000
I mean, so basically, the idea that I wanted to bring in here is that we consistently need to work on ourselves because who are we?
2875
03:13:03,000 --> 03:13:08,000
We are the, we are the, what's that expression?
2876
03:13:10,000 --> 03:13:11,000
We are the summary.
2877
03:13:11,000 --> 03:13:28,000
You know, we are the the the sum of everything that of all of our experiences, of all of our beliefs, of, you know so speaking about the past, that's that's what we are because everything that we are, was created up until to this moment, right?
2878
03:13:28,000 --> 03:13:30,000
You know, so that's what we are.
2879
03:13:30,000 --> 03:13:36,000
And so you can't really talk about the future without looking into your past.
2880
03:13:36,000 --> 03:13:38,000
Like who made you who you are today?
2881
03:13:39,000 --> 03:13:46,000
And what do you still need to look back and maybe tweak?
2882
03:13:46,000 --> 03:13:50,000
Because, you know, you were saying it in your book, you can't change the past.
2883
03:13:50,000 --> 03:13:56,000
Of course, you can't change the past, but you can change your attitude towards certain things that happened to you.
2884
03:13:56,000 --> 03:14:03,000
Like you were also mentioning in our conversation today, people who suffered some tragedy.
2885
03:14:03,000 --> 03:14:03,000
Right?
2886
03:14:04,000 --> 03:14:09,000
And so if you allow that tragedy to define the rest of your life, who wins?
2887
03:14:09,000 --> 03:14:10,000
Right?
2888
03:14:10,000 --> 03:14:11,000
Not you.
2889
03:14:11,000 --> 03:14:11,000
You know.
2890
03:14:11,000 --> 03:14:19,000
So, sometimes in order to move forward, you really need to reshape your past.
2891
03:14:20,000 --> 03:14:22,000
And there are lots of different techniques to do that.
2892
03:14:22,000 --> 03:14:26,000
So there's inner child, you know, that we do teach in coaching as well.
2893
03:14:26,000 --> 03:14:30,000
So inner child is, again, it's one of our parts.
2894
03:14:30,000 --> 03:14:34,000
So we we really kinda mentioned parts when we're talking about listening to your own thoughts.
2895
03:14:36,000 --> 03:14:43,000
But it has to do, in this case, not in all of the cases, but in this case, it would have to do with maybe re parenting.
2896
03:14:44,000 --> 03:14:44,000
Right?
2897
03:14:44,000 --> 03:14:46,000
How do you become your own parent?
2898
03:14:46,000 --> 03:14:54,000
How do you let go of, certain traumas, that are blocking your progress?
2899
03:14:54,000 --> 03:14:57,000
Because if you everything is about focus, right?
2900
03:14:57,000 --> 03:15:18,000
So if you're really focusing on the past and feeling still feeling all of those feelings that prevent you from moving forward and looking at what you really want to achieve or when you're trying to achieve something new and wonderful, all of these feelings sabotage you and pull you back.
2901
03:15:18,000 --> 03:15:23,000
Well, then that's a really good indication that you got to take a heavier look at that.
2902
03:15:23,000 --> 03:15:33,000
And actually, I've seen I forgot whom, but I've seen, some people were really big shots.
2903
03:15:33,000 --> 03:15:49,000
You know, people who are in entrepreneurial world, who were saying that, they couldn't stay in partnership and be productive because, their communication skills were not that great.
2904
03:15:49,000 --> 03:15:57,000
And when they were really digging when you start when they started digging in at the causes of why they were responding this way or that that way.
2905
03:15:58,000 --> 03:16:04,000
It actually took them back into certain moments of their past that they had to rethink.
2906
03:16:05,000 --> 03:16:07,000
So you can actually rethink your past
2907
03:16:07,000 --> 03:16:07,000
too.
2908
03:16:07,000 --> 03:16:14,000
I think that reshaping your future includes reshaping your perspective of your past.
2909
03:16:15,000 --> 03:16:15,000
Yeah.
2910
03:16:15,000 --> 03:16:19,000
The word perspective is probably the biggest definition of it.
2911
03:16:19,000 --> 03:16:20,000
So what really happened?
2912
03:16:20,000 --> 03:16:22,000
How does that how did that really pan out?
2913
03:16:22,000 --> 03:16:23,000
What was happening?
2914
03:16:23,000 --> 03:16:28,000
So by I don't, personally, I don't spend a lot of time.
2915
03:16:28,000 --> 03:16:30,000
There's some past that we we all have to bring together.
2916
03:16:31,000 --> 03:16:32,000
But the yes.
2917
03:16:32,000 --> 03:16:33,000
You can reshape that.
2918
03:16:33,000 --> 03:16:37,000
And I I do know that in hypnosis, it's often used to get someone to go back.
2919
03:16:37,000 --> 03:16:47,000
We've seen enough movies of this where someone goes through the horror or whatever experience they have, good or bad, to find new definitions to what they've experienced.
2920
03:16:48,000 --> 03:16:51,000
So you're getting someone to ask new questions.
2921
03:16:52,000 --> 03:16:52,000
Yeah.
2922
03:16:52,000 --> 03:16:55,000
Same type of, philosophy.
2923
03:16:56,000 --> 03:17:05,000
I'm trying to think about but hypnosis doesn't have to have that, so I'll pull that out as it's just one tool within the arsenal.
2924
03:17:07,000 --> 03:17:08,000
Mhmm.
2925
03:17:08,000 --> 03:17:09,000
Yes.
2926
03:17:10,000 --> 03:17:16,000
Well, so, I think that, you know, like, you wanted to hear about me.
2927
03:17:16,000 --> 03:17:24,000
I think that, we don't like, I was always, very much future oriented, extremely goal oriented.
2928
03:17:24,000 --> 03:17:25,000
I get things done.
2929
03:17:25,000 --> 03:17:27,000
I don't sit on one spot.
2930
03:17:27,000 --> 03:17:27,000
Right?
2931
03:17:27,000 --> 03:17:32,000
And so, and I usually go after what I want, and you just kinda do it.
2932
03:17:33,000 --> 03:17:36,000
People usually have, like, lots of kind of fears and doubts.
2933
03:17:37,000 --> 03:17:38,000
I just kinda do it anyway.
2934
03:17:39,000 --> 03:17:39,000
You know?
2935
03:17:40,000 --> 03:17:53,000
But, I think that, once you get for me, personally, once I got a little bit more relaxed and I got to a certain level of what I wanted to achieve.
2936
03:17:53,000 --> 03:17:54,000
Like, I'm like, okay.
2937
03:17:54,000 --> 03:17:56,000
I got the the level of respect that I want.
2938
03:17:57,000 --> 03:18:06,000
I got the level of achievement that I want so I can be, like, a little bit more laid back now even though we're still constantly I'm constantly going through rebranding, changing, moving.
2939
03:18:06,000 --> 03:18:06,000
You know?
2940
03:18:08,000 --> 03:18:13,000
I don't think I'm moving mountains, but, you know, but I'm moving something.
2941
03:18:13,000 --> 03:18:14,000
I'm moving and shaking something.
2942
03:18:15,000 --> 03:18:24,000
But so I think that, certain things that I wasn't ready to look at, I'm seeing them now, and I'm dealing with it now.
2943
03:18:24,000 --> 03:18:33,000
Like, for instance, I didn't even know, or didn't want to see that, my mother was 100% a narcissist.
2944
03:18:33,000 --> 03:18:35,000
And, she was.
2945
03:18:35,000 --> 03:18:49,000
And I didn't I didn't want to admit to myself, that many things that she was doing, were driven by that, you know, versus by, like, actually caring or anything like that.
2946
03:18:49,000 --> 03:18:49,000
Right?
2947
03:18:49,000 --> 03:18:52,000
You know, anything like a normal mother would feel.
2948
03:18:52,000 --> 03:18:58,000
And so and and, I didn't go to a coach for the with this, by the way.
2949
03:18:58,000 --> 03:19:06,000
I actually hired a psychologist because I really wanted to dig in, and I wanted someone who was professional in dealing with the past.
2950
03:19:06,000 --> 03:19:07,000
Mhmm.
2951
03:19:07,000 --> 03:19:08,000
Because that's not what we do as coaches.
2952
03:19:08,000 --> 03:19:11,000
So when we do we do, we do touch upon that.
2953
03:19:12,000 --> 03:19:41,000
And, I mean, I can help someone with, certain attitudes and perspectives, but if someone needs a really deep, long, reshaping and work with that, then, it's probably better to see a psychologist, because, you know, coaching looks at the past only from the perspective of what can we take there that you learn that will help us to move forward.
2954
03:19:41,000 --> 03:19:46,000
You know, it's very purposeful kind of a goal oriented, discipline.
2955
03:19:48,000 --> 03:19:51,000
But with psychology, you just kinda sit there.
2956
03:19:51,000 --> 03:19:52,000
You sit there.
2957
03:19:52,000 --> 03:19:53,000
You dig deep.
2958
03:19:53,000 --> 03:19:58,000
There's no specific purpose other than self knowledge, and that's what I wanted.
2959
03:19:58,000 --> 03:20:04,000
So, you know, I think that it's also determining what you want, in terms of what kind of help you want to to get.
2960
03:20:04,000 --> 03:20:08,000
And I I would work with psychologists for 2 years, and I'm I'm done.
2961
03:20:09,000 --> 03:20:10,000
Well, it's a wonderful
2962
03:20:13,000 --> 03:20:13,000
journey.
2963
03:20:13,000 --> 03:20:13,000
Completely.
2964
03:20:13,000 --> 03:20:20,000
So I I know this is definitely not what you expected, but that's what a good podcast is, is where you go in places you're not sure of.
2965
03:20:20,000 --> 03:20:24,000
So I wanna thank you, Mariana, for your time and definitely do appreciate it.
2966
03:20:25,000 --> 03:20:29,000
And I I wanna thank all of you who tuned in, listened in.
2967
03:20:29,000 --> 03:20:33,000
You heard a different journey from any of the other podcasts that we've had.
2968
03:20:33,000 --> 03:20:39,000
And, and I do hope that you learned something today that will make a difference in your lie in your life and the lives of others.
2969
03:20:40,000 --> 03:20:43,000
What's the best way, Marianna, to get a hold of you?
2970
03:20:46,000 --> 03:20:57,000
Well, the best way to get ahold of me is probably through my website, which is, goalimagery.com, goal Yeah.
2971
03:20:57,000 --> 03:20:58,000
As in goal.
2972
03:20:58,000 --> 03:20:58,000
Right?
2973
03:20:58,000 --> 03:21:01,000
So we talked about it at the beginning of the podcast, podcast, goalimagery.com.
2974
03:21:03,000 --> 03:21:26,000
And you will see the contact form there that, and just please write where you heard me and how you know of me, and, you'll be able to, you know, I'll I'll be able we'll be able to actually get a appointment meeting booked, and I'll be very happy to answer questions and talk about whatever it is that
2975
03:21:26,000 --> 03:21:27,000
you guys talk about.
2976
03:21:28,000 --> 03:21:35,000
In terms of for myself, the you can the saying is you can't fix yesterday.
2977
03:21:35,000 --> 03:21:36,000
You can only create tomorrow.
2978
03:21:36,000 --> 03:21:38,000
We touched on that a lot today.
2979
03:21:38,000 --> 03:21:39,000
I'd love to connect with you.
2980
03:21:41,000 --> 03:21:45,000
David@davidgoldsmith.com, and Instagram is mister David Goldsmith.
2981
03:21:45,000 --> 03:21:48,000
You can connect to me on Twitter, at David Goldsmith.
2982
03:21:48,000 --> 03:21:49,000
There's LinkedIn.
2983
03:21:49,000 --> 03:21:49,000
There's Facebook.
2984
03:21:49,000 --> 03:21:52,000
There's all different ways that you could find me.
2985
03:21:52,000 --> 03:21:57,000
And that said, I'm David Goldsmith, and thank you for listening.