Blow Bubbles at the King | Ep. 343

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Oh god to quick quick question for I want to
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hear your thoughts.
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On I know what's on your mind.
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I've got a quick quick question for you. Any answers,
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not a quortant. I'm just by the week and talk tonight.
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So what's your favorite do you girl? What get?
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And you over?
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You see? Best friendsom Comedy writs.
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If there's an answer that I'm gonna find it, I
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think you'll have a great time.
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I think you have a great time. It's the show.
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It's a quick question. We are back if you're just
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joined us uh sor and I got I got some
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some some parenthood questions and then we'll talk about movies
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maybe I got.
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I'm not ready for that. I haven't even stretched or anything.
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Hold on when I did, Ah, you said you're back,
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and I said, like, we never left. There's a that's
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a mackelmore song called Glorious.
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Dan.
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I think I'm back on Macklemore.
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Hey man, you can't do that.
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We all left obviously, we left that arena. Yeah, because
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we were done with him.
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I don't know.
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My son listens to this that he's the one that
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turned me onto it, and I was like, you know,
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this is kind of a bop. I like this song.
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I will say, if anyone is allowed to like Maclamore,
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I do think you have a pretty strong case because
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a lot of us he in the Obama years when
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uh Maclamore burst onto the scene, for most of us,
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everything seemed fine and thrift Shop was like a real banger.
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We all had the horns were great. We all had
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a really good time. And then he was doing songs
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about uh saving gay marriage or something whatever. Whatever he
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was doing, it were like, man, he's funny and he's correct.
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This is so good. And then we all we all
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were like this is this is pretty embarrassing, not we
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all because a lot of people didn't like him to
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begin with. And when I told our boss at the time,
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Cracked Dot comm editor in chief, Jack O'Brien, that I
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I I think I can't remember if I told him
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that Maclamore was my favorite or that I thought I
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thought he had the best the best album of the year.
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That sounds more right. That's like that I think this
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this movie the best out of the year. And Jack
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was like, I'm gonna let that go. You're gonna feel
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really bad about that. Like he like the the present
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depressions of Jack being like, yeah, this is this is
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this is wrong. You don't mean that, son, you don't
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mean that.
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This is so interesting. Jack always he had his it's
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unfair to even call his finger on the pulse because
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he could see two beats ahead, like he knew what
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was coming down the pike.
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Yes, uh but yeah.
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So for all time we all thought all of us
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were like the one Love or whatever the fuck the
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same Love or whatever that song was called. We were
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all like, fuck, yeah, somebody's finally saying it. I'm not gay.
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Yeah, and I do think and and like, he just
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showed up on the pop sharts and so I liked him,
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and then I stopped liking him, like a lot of us.
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You are the only person I know who was aware
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of him before the rest of us. He played it
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your coll when he was just some interesting guy. And
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I understand h feeling like you're early to something and
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feeling like like you have some kind of ownership over something,
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and that nostalgia, uh, and association. You know, you're you.
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He can be one of your guys if you if
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you want.
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I'm not gonna claim him.
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That's good. It was.
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It's one of those I mean, we're all. We've all
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fallen into this, right. I was a huge Limp Biscuit
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fan when I was in high school. I was like, yes,
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I'm gonna listen to this every time I go snowboarding,
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right before I'm out there, I'm gonna listen to uh,
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give me something to break, and it's gonna pump me up.
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And then over time you realize that that was embarrassing. Yeah,
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nobody's nobody's free of this. We've all fallen into this
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trap at some point. Maclamore was a big one. But
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then I stopped listening to his music because I was like, yeah,
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he's and then okay, I don't know why stuff listening
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to his music and stuff listened to his music. I
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think only because of that one song and we all
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realized like, oh, this is weird. This is a weird song,
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this is a weird point to it's a weird place
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to plant your flag. And I want to be an ally,
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but I may want to make it clear I'm not
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one of those freaks.
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I think he also yes a song that the the
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two things that he wanted to make clear was that
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he's okay with gay people, but also he gets so
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much pussy it's crazy. Even in second grade, my mom
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was like, bringing such a fucking.
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Dog that tang.
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But I think nationally we started to turn on him
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when he I believe he was winning some awards. I
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believe he was winning some important music awards, and we
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were like, well, well, no, he can't actually be, yeah,
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the best rapper in the world.
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I would never qualify him as like a real a
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lyrical genius or like an incredible rap. I think he
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and his what's his buddy's name like that, it's not
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just Macklemore. We just call them Macklemore, like.
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Yeah, Maclamore, Ben Macklamore, and Ryan Lewis.
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So Ryan Lewis makes incredible beats that are so fun
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and interesting and like you can just just jam to him.
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So I think his songs are really engaging and fun
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to just listen to. We gave up on him.
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Yeah.
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It wasn't until my son was like, hey, can we
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listen to this in the car as he often does,
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and I don't know what it is? And then we
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listened to it or a first of all, I spend
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five minutes looking for it because he knows one.
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Lyric from it.
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He's like, this's this song I heard and the best
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best is in the lyrics, and I'm like, okay, that's
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all we're getting. Let's dive in. But we found this
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song and I was like, we're listening to it and
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I was like found myself bobbing along to it, and
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I was like, you know what, maybe we give Macklemore
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another chance.
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It's okay. If he just if we just gave him
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the one chance, it's fine.
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Yeah, you don't know what the big problem was was rapping.
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I think that already it's a little embarrassing. There's like
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a real earnestness to his raps that is contextually as
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a white guy from Seattle doing this, it's just a
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little embarrassing. And there's other people who are doing the
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same thing but are kind of aware that it's embarrassing
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and are and are like addressing the elephant in the room.
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I would put I would put David byrd in that category.
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You know that is a little dickie.
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Oh yeah, I was. Iota corrected that to David Byrne,
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But yeah, a little dicky.
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Yeah, Burne, his raps are tough.
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As soon as you said it, I was like, yeah,
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I mean if he rapped, I'm sure he would do
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it in his self aware way. And I see it.
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He has our song with rapping in it, but he's
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not doing rapping. Very smart to jam, really good song.
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But no, I think that the already there was like
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it was a little embarrassing, even from the beginning when
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I was just like this interesting rapper that I liked.
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That.
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Even then I was like, I can't talk about him.
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I can't.
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I don't like totally what he's doing. I just like
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listening to and listen. I'm again, that's embarrassing.
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But it's not.
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You're all doing it. We've all fallen into that trap.
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We're listening to music in our car that we wouldn't
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dare listen to on the subway or in front of
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other people. When I'm listening to Goodbye Horses, I'm doing
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that on my own time, because if I listened to
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it anywhere else, I'm a serial killer.
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Yeah, it was just a better time for me, before
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I could afford serious radio, which has more customizability to it,
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and before I had a car where you can hook
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up your phone to make whatever music you want, which
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had total customer When I was just driving around to
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LA for ten years with k rock and Jack FM
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and whatever other stations were out there. It's not my fault.
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If Maclamore comes on, oh man, I listened to it.
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It's not my fault. If Blurred Lines comes on and
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I sing along to it and have a good time
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and I turn it up a little bit, it's not
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my fault. I'm just like, I'm a I'm a victim
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like anybody else of the music that is coming through
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on the radio, and I'm just like, I'm just riding
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the waves.
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Blurred Lines is a great example of that, where you
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have this just like this beat that you just you're into,
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and you're like, yeah, oh, there's lyrics to this song too. Great.
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At some point, I'm sure I'll get around to listen
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to those. Yeah, And then the song becomes deeply embarrassing,
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and then you're like, but I I enjoyed listening to
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that song because I like dancing to it.
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I like driving around. I would drive around and I
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would hope it came on. Do you guys have any
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idea what that's like, just just no control, just driving around.
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I was like, boy, I hope they play one of
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my I hope they are nice and they play one
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of my songs today before I get to work. Oh,
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I'm gonna circle the block. They're playing it.
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I'll listen to this.
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Yeah.
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I as a kid, I used to think about that
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all the time because trestyeral old radio is all I had,
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and I would listen to music and call into radio stations.
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I was gonna ask if you ever, because we would
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do that too for some reason when my parents weren't home,
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as if it was like a crime and we're just like, oh,
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no one's home. Let's let's call the radio station and
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see if they'll if they'll play Ants Marching by Dave Matthews.
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And we would call and like you play Dave Matthews
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Ants Marching and they're like, yeah, we'll play it. Next
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to be like oh fuck.
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Yeah, you find they're gonna play it.
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I can't think of that any more efficient system than this, And.
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They must it must be all elementary schoolers calling all
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the time, like I would call and I would ask
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for Ugly Kid Joe's I Hate Everything About You. I
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loved that song when I was a kid, and I
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would call I don't know, probably every weekend to feel
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like will you play it? Like we just played it
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I'm like, yeah, but I that's when I realized that
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I wanted to listen to it again. Yeah, did you
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just play it?
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We're not calling at like six we're not calling the
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mainstream station at six pm on a Wednesday to be
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like can you my heart hurts? Can you play some
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Bill Withers for me? Please? Yeah? We're playing. We're asking
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for the songs they're already playing, like can you play Jumper?
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And they're like, yeah, of course, you're the fiftieth person
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who's called asking for a jumper today. You're gonna hear.
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It six times today. But I still do. And I'm
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because my daughter takes baths to the radio. I have
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a radio in her bathroom so she has some control
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over her music. We find the stations where they still
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do those dedications, which is this ancient art, but it's
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so fun to listen to where you're listening to the
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love station or whatever it is, and they're like, oh,
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mixed up. We've got a dedication from Darnell to Tanya. Tanya,
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he loves you very much. He can't imagine his life
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without you, and he's so so sorry. Here's Otis Redding.
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It's so great. It was so good listening to Delilah
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on the drive. You know it's I can't stress this
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enough to our listeners that it's not It's like Soren says,
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it's not someone leaving a voice note dedication. It is
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a radio DJ reading it for them. It's like, hey,
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this is this is Delilah and he this this song
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is from mary Anne who misses Jimmy, can't wait for
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him to come back from the war. Yeah, okay.
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The best ones were We're like, there, you swung the
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door open just a little bit on a very complex
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situation and then shut it right away. Whether DJ w'd
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be like, this song is for Maria. Mark has been
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00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:11.919
seeing you at work and he just thought you might
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like this song. Then you're like, oh shit, Marx's stock. No,
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00:13:18.039 --> 00:13:19.679
he knows that she's listening to the radio at work.
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00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:22.320
He's like, this is how I'm gonna get her. What
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00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:24.000
an honor it will be for her to hear her
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00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:31.039
own name on the radio. Different time, better time, unclear say,
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hard to say. We'll never know the world has moved on.
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When we were kids, folks, summer meant freedom, no homework,
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252
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253
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261
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262
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All right, you had some ship for me. I'm all
296
00:16:09.559 --> 00:16:10.399
stretched in limber.
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00:16:10.440 --> 00:16:11.559
Now that's good.
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00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:13.080
Give me some painting questions.
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00:16:13.279 --> 00:16:19.440
I guess it was parenting. I I wonder you're kind
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00:16:19.480 --> 00:16:22.200
of a better person than I am.
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00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:24.480
That's not true. That's not true at all.
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00:16:25.399 --> 00:16:32.840
Were you Have you ever been those parents? It's a
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00:16:32.919 --> 00:16:39.720
it's a pretty loaded thing to ask. Hold on annoying parents.
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00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:44.480
Have we have I ever been the annoying parent? Yeah? Yeah, school,
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00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:48.840
that's okay. This is this is we were are ongoing
306
00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:53.519
battles with daycare, which which happened getting better emotionally for
307
00:16:53.559 --> 00:16:58.399
everybody involved. But we're still we uh, like two weeks
308
00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:00.440
into this because we see an app. We have an
309
00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:03.320
app that like they update pictures and they do like
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00:17:03.399 --> 00:17:07.039
a little like, oh, he napped for this period of time,
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00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:09.519
We gave him a bottle at this time, changed this diaper.
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00:17:09.640 --> 00:17:11.279
Like all the stuff that's going on, we see it
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00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:12.880
on this app and we're staring at this app all day.
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00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:16.599
And there were a couple of things that were not
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00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:21.640
to our liking in the app, and we wrote a
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strongly worded letter about all of the things that we
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00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:31.640
were dissatisfied with two weeks into this daycare experiment. Two
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00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:36.200
weeks you're zero changed some shit, zero self awareness of
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00:17:36.240 --> 00:17:41.039
how like this is also the first two weeks that
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00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:43.640
we have not had him in our arms every minute
321
00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:48.680
of the day. Like we just our brains. Having a
322
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:51.200
child destroys your brain. And we just went in, would
323
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:54.119
like hear all the here's a list of things that
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00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:57.799
are not up to our satisfaction two weeks into this experiment.
325
00:17:59.799 --> 00:18:02.839
And they got back to us immediately and they got
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00:18:02.839 --> 00:18:04.079
on the phone with us and they're like, we're gonna
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00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:05.720
fix this and that, and like I have an action
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00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:08.400
plan that I've given to all my teachers and they're
329
00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:10.640
going to you know, some of the stuff that we had.
330
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:14.200
I think our complaints were well founded, and they've addressed them.
331
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:19.039
And part of it was, you guys have stopped uploading
332
00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:25.319
like pictures of him throughout the day, and we worried
333
00:18:25.799 --> 00:18:28.960
when you don't do that, we think it's because he's
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00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:31.519
sad and you don't want to take any pictures of
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00:18:31.599 --> 00:18:35.960
him sad. And they were like that is the reason,
336
00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:40.519
and we're like, well, fuck, this is the nightmare. And
337
00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:43.519
now they upload lots of pictures of him very very happy.
338
00:18:43.640 --> 00:18:50.680
They upload so many pictures with so many over the
339
00:18:50.720 --> 00:18:54.359
top captions. But like here I am playing with my
340
00:18:54.440 --> 00:18:56.920
favorite book, Love and Life, chilling like a big boy.
341
00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:05.640
And they are so much more explicit in the notes
342
00:19:05.720 --> 00:19:08.079
about what they're doing and how he's doing and what's
343
00:19:08.119 --> 00:19:11.559
going on, and they seem much more attentive. When I
344
00:19:11.640 --> 00:19:14.680
went to pick him up a few days after our
345
00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:18.960
letter and our meeting with the administrator, I walk in
346
00:19:19.079 --> 00:19:22.960
the room and he is set up in a U
347
00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:27.440
shaped cushion that's got him perched like he's in a throne,
348
00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:31.359
and there is a teacher sitting in a chair two
349
00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:34.720
feet in front of him, blowing bubbles directly at him,
350
00:19:34.759 --> 00:19:37.359
just for him, and there's another little girl on the
351
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:44.160
floor crying. And I walk in, thinking, you guys hate us,
352
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:48.880
and you're doing this to kiss our asses because we
353
00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:52.240
wrote the mean letter. I do not care. This is
354
00:19:52.240 --> 00:19:53.880
how I think my son should be treated. Blow bubbles
355
00:19:53.880 --> 00:19:55.640
at the king, thank you very much. I talked shit.
356
00:19:55.759 --> 00:19:58.319
As soon as I leave. I don't care. I do not.
357
00:19:58.359 --> 00:20:02.880
Care as long as the king gets bubbles? Now, what
358
00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:05.680
one of your complaints was that they weren't sending pictures
359
00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:08.279
because he was crying. He was most likely crying and
360
00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:11.960
was crying at school. I have a couple of questions.
361
00:20:12.039 --> 00:20:14.839
One of all one is is the adjustment going better now?
362
00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:17.640
Or is there is he still just like miserable there?
363
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:20.119
It's going better now. It's going better now for sure.
364
00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:23.559
Okay, what else did you complain about? What I want
365
00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:25.440
to I want to know your grapes before I know
366
00:20:25.519 --> 00:20:26.599
whether this is reasonable.
367
00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:31.480
So we pack, Uh do I give all the information?
368
00:20:31.799 --> 00:20:37.640
We pack three like normal bottles, and we have a
369
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:38.440
smaller bottle.
370
00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:39.079
Uh.
371
00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:43.319
That is just for helping him sleep if he can't sleep,
372
00:20:43.319 --> 00:20:45.559
because sometimes a little bit of just a little bit
373
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:50.000
of milk, he'll knock him right out. Yeah. Uh. And
374
00:20:50.440 --> 00:20:55.960
it so happened that there was one day where, first
375
00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:59.480
of first they didn't they fed him an hour after
376
00:20:59.559 --> 00:21:01.759
he was to be fed, because we're pretty strict about
377
00:21:01.799 --> 00:21:04.480
like this is he needs to eat every three hours
378
00:21:04.519 --> 00:21:07.599
at this age, and he needs to have this much
379
00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:12.000
food because he's growing. And they were late by an hour,
380
00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:15.400
which we didn't love. And then there were no pictures
381
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:17.200
of him throughout the day, and when I went to
382
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:20.880
go up, one of the people there was talking about
383
00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:24.000
how he was fussy and have we considered gas sex
384
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:27.200
And I was like, yes, we've considered gas X. In fact,
385
00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:30.279
we gave it to you. You have it in his
386
00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:33.720
like bend of supplies, and she goes, really, can we
387
00:21:33.799 --> 00:21:36.480
use it? I go, yes, you can use it. Your
388
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:39.359
staff used it last week and you made notes of
389
00:21:39.400 --> 00:21:41.559
it in the thing, and she was just shrugging, like, oh,
390
00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:44.200
this is the first I've heard of it. And I'm like, great, well,
391
00:21:44.200 --> 00:21:47.400
that's fantastic communication. And I was so flustered and annoyed
392
00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:50.200
about that. I took all of our stuff home and
393
00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:54.680
when we got home we realized that they gave him
394
00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:56.960
at some point during the day. When they said they
395
00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:59.119
gave him a full bottle, they made a mistake. They
396
00:21:59.160 --> 00:22:02.119
gave him the night cap bottle. So this was a
397
00:22:02.200 --> 00:22:04.960
day where he was fed late in the morning and
398
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:07.160
then at some point was not fed the full amount
399
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:09.240
of food that he was supposed to have and was
400
00:22:09.279 --> 00:22:12.799
not given the medicine that we like him to have.
401
00:22:13.079 --> 00:22:17.839
And there's no good communication apparently amongst the teachers. And
402
00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:19.920
this was after like a few days in a row
403
00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:21.759
where it seemed like you could pick him up and
404
00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:25.160
you can tell that it seemed like he'd been crying
405
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:27.400
all day and not napping, and just like his voice
406
00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:30.960
was hoarse from screaming too much, all like really bad stuff.
407
00:22:31.240 --> 00:22:38.079
I feel like, are you satisfied that I'm not crazy? Sorry?
408
00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:43.279
I think the food stuff is is sturdier ground than
409
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:46.440
us saying there aren't enough pictures of him smiling.
410
00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:50.359
I think you're totally fine. Hell yeah, but you're I'm
411
00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:52.799
also I'm a parent who has done all of this,
412
00:22:53.319 --> 00:22:57.160
has done all of these things. Oh, I came into
413
00:22:57.279 --> 00:22:59.720
My son was in a preschool. I came in to
414
00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:02.200
get him one day and I was looking for him
415
00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:04.599
and I didn't see him anywhere. And then I went
416
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:09.079
into the bathroom and he was in there, cleaning diarrhea
417
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:11.240
out of his underwear by him, and he was like,
418
00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:17.079
he's three. And I was like, we're gone, We're out
419
00:23:17.079 --> 00:23:21.599
of here, and felt like gave him a huge hug
420
00:23:21.640 --> 00:23:22.519
and I was like, you don't have to deal with
421
00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:24.359
this kind of thing on your own, like it's okay.
422
00:23:24.519 --> 00:23:27.319
And then we went home and then I did the
423
00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:29.680
exact same thing on the parent app. I was just like, hey,
424
00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:35.839
who's helping? Like who's there for this? And I'll say
425
00:23:35.880 --> 00:23:38.039
that throughout elementary school, we've it's been a real give
426
00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:39.799
and take because it's public school and there's a lot
427
00:23:39.799 --> 00:23:41.599
of kids, and you have to exc you just have
428
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:43.480
to eat some of this stuff. Some of the stuff
429
00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:46.839
is just not going to get fixed, especially like with aftercare.
430
00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:51.599
Aftercare is just sort of this lawless place where everyone smile.
431
00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:54.160
My son will be like, can we have double stuffed oreos?
432
00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:56.160
And I'm like, I don't even how do you even
433
00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:58.160
know what double stuffed dorios are? It's like I have
434
00:23:58.200 --> 00:24:00.880
him all the time aftercare, like they're just plying you
435
00:24:00.920 --> 00:24:03.200
with fucking cookies and stuff. You're not supposed to be
436
00:24:03.240 --> 00:24:06.359
having that shit, and so you just kind of have
437
00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:07.960
to let that kind of stuff go. But every once
438
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:13.480
in a while, there's something that becomes too bad to ignore.
439
00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:20.279
His last year at school, he it became clear that
440
00:24:20.279 --> 00:24:24.119
there just was like the teacher just seemed like the
441
00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:26.279
teacher just had a foot out the door, Like the
442
00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:29.759
teacher just decided, this is too many kids. They've asked
443
00:24:29.799 --> 00:24:31.640
me to do too much. My lotus do great. I
444
00:24:31.640 --> 00:24:35.240
won't do any of it, and so we were on it.
445
00:24:35.359 --> 00:24:38.400
We were on that teacher quite a bit, trying to
446
00:24:38.599 --> 00:24:40.680
figure out, well, how do we get to a situation
447
00:24:40.759 --> 00:24:42.839
where you feel like a manager at a job where
448
00:24:42.839 --> 00:24:44.759
you're like, well, how do we work together to make
449
00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:47.039
sure that this becomes an easier task or that what
450
00:24:47.079 --> 00:24:48.359
can we take off your plate? That?
451
00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:50.400
Right? I say things that I never say in real
452
00:24:50.440 --> 00:24:53.160
life when I dropped my off, like, just let me
453
00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:55.240
know how I want to set you up for success.
454
00:24:55.400 --> 00:24:57.359
So if you could just tell me what steps I
455
00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:00.920
can take to make this better for us, which is
456
00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:03.480
ultimately better for him because we're all working in the
457
00:25:03.480 --> 00:25:06.279
same in the same direction here, right, And then I
458
00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:06.720
get Lakar.
459
00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:09.079
I'm like, what the fuck was that? When you're in
460
00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:11.079
there and you're like, what can I take the lead on?
461
00:25:11.480 --> 00:25:14.240
That would uh yeah, that would make it free up
462
00:25:14.279 --> 00:25:17.920
some of your bandwidth. You're saying shit like that. If
463
00:25:17.960 --> 00:25:19.720
my if my wife sending that to me, I'd be
464
00:25:19.759 --> 00:25:21.920
so furious she was like, well will you take the
465
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.039
lead on the birthday party? I'd be like, can I
466
00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:34.920
take the lead? But yeah, you're doing all that. You
467
00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:36.799
get you get super professional all of a sudden, and
468
00:25:36.839 --> 00:25:41.799
you're you everybody knows what's going on. You're chastising this
469
00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:43.960
person because you don't think they're doing a good job,
470
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:47.160
but you're wording it in such a way that's like, hey,
471
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:48.960
how can I be of help so that we can
472
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:51.839
get this solve for you, this thing that you're sucking up.
473
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:54.119
How can we get it together that you're no longer
474
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:58.480
fucking this up? So anyway, I'm bad at this stuff.
475
00:25:58.519 --> 00:26:01.880
I do this stuff all the time, only with the school.
476
00:26:02.359 --> 00:26:04.359
One of the other things that we have that I
477
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:07.599
have found is and I'm sure you have too, is
478
00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:11.960
when you write these letters and you become the annoying parents,
479
00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:16.359
there is a target on your back now. And I
480
00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:20.599
talk to my wife about it. I was like, we can't.
481
00:26:20.920 --> 00:26:22.839
Like we're packing his stuff in the morning and we're like,
482
00:26:23.079 --> 00:26:27.720
we cannot make any mistakes. Now. We can't get them anything.
483
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.240
We have to make sure they have the right bottles
484
00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:34.119
and everything's labeled because we came at them knives out
485
00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:38.559
and like these super protective parents, so like we cannot
486
00:26:38.599 --> 00:26:40.759
screw up. It was like a day or so after
487
00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:43.400
the letter when Shay would to go pick him up
488
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:47.920
and they had him in like an orange bib and
489
00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:50.559
we never we don't own any orange in the house,
490
00:26:50.599 --> 00:26:52.799
so it was unfamiliar. So she walks into the classroom
491
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:55.480
and looks around and goes where is he? And they
492
00:26:55.519 --> 00:27:00.000
were like holding him, He's right here, he's I'm feeding him.
493
00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:03.440
And I was like, honey, can you cannot We cannot,
494
00:27:05.119 --> 00:27:06.440
we cannot give them an inch.
495
00:27:09.079 --> 00:27:11.519
I think even from birth, you're set up to be
496
00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:13.880
in that scenario where you you're willing to be an
497
00:27:13.880 --> 00:27:16.640
embarrassing person all of a sudden when you have kids.
498
00:27:16.759 --> 00:27:20.240
Because you go in with a birth plan, everyone encourages
499
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:23.039
you to write a birth plan. Does birth plans as
500
00:27:23.079 --> 00:27:24.720
soon as you show up. When it's a printed out
501
00:27:24.759 --> 00:27:27.319
birth plan, the nurses are fucking pumped because now they
502
00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:29.200
got something to talk about, and like they'll bring that
503
00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:31.160
over and they'll post it in their little section. They'll
504
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:37.720
be like, she wants bitch wants candles, We ch handles
505
00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:38.599
burning the whole time.
506
00:27:39.079 --> 00:27:41.440
She wants the room at seventy four degrees. You're just
507
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:44.759
gonna get on that. You're gonna we have individual down
508
00:27:44.799 --> 00:27:48.799
to the degree controls for the rooms. Surely right, who's
509
00:27:48.839 --> 00:27:49.640
gonna monitor that?
510
00:27:50.920 --> 00:27:53.240
So she wants these songs for the passive labor and
511
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:55.880
these ones in there for the active labor, Oh okay, cool,
512
00:27:57.000 --> 00:28:01.440
Like they're cackling at that stuff and you know it,
513
00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:03.880
you know, and you know going in and so you're
514
00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:06.160
just like, well, this isn't about you, It's not even
515
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:09.519
about me anymore. It's about this new person and they
516
00:28:09.559 --> 00:28:12.400
are the only one thing that matters, and so it's
517
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:15.759
primes you. And then you do it at schools.
518
00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:16.559
You do it like.
519
00:28:16.519 --> 00:28:19.359
I'll confront other parents. If a parent is being a
520
00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:20.000
they've got a.
521
00:28:20.039 --> 00:28:20.720
Kid who is.
522
00:28:23.400 --> 00:28:27.400
Who is treating my child poorly and it's like an
523
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:31.400
ongoing thing, then I'm like, I'm gonna go confront that
524
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:33.640
parent like things that I would never dream of doing
525
00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:36.640
on my own behalf or my wife's behalf either, Like
526
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:38.960
things are I would just let slide. I'm not gonna
527
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:40.359
do that as a dad.
528
00:28:41.119 --> 00:28:46.680
I'm so scared of it because I have no problem
529
00:28:46.839 --> 00:28:51.920
yelling at like an institution, our school, or I would
530
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:53.440
even yell at my doctor if it came down to it.
531
00:28:53.440 --> 00:28:55.799
I probably when yell my doctor. I'm just trying to
532
00:28:55.799 --> 00:28:58.599
think of other professionals that interact with the baby. But
533
00:28:59.200 --> 00:29:02.880
we're we're far away from him being old enough to
534
00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:06.640
like play and have friends and be influenced by other kids.
535
00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:12.440
But I'm I'm so nervous about the future and confronting
536
00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:18.559
a parent about their kid, which is essentially confronting a
537
00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:23.400
parent about their parenting, which I'm I'm just dreading. I'm
538
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:27.000
hoping that there are only good parents, by which I
539
00:29:27.079 --> 00:29:29.839
mean parents whould do things exactly the way that I do,
540
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:33.319
and I don't have to deal with anyone who is
541
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:37.640
different from me, or from my wife or from my baby.
542
00:29:38.039 --> 00:29:39.920
I know it's not gonna happen. I know we're gonna
543
00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:45.640
get people who their kids curse or each junk, or
544
00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:48.039
they say words that we don't say, or they or
545
00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:51.400
they you know whatever, they glorify guns, or they do
546
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:53.839
such and such a thing, and I will have to
547
00:29:53.880 --> 00:29:57.319
have a conversation with some kids parent about how like, hey,
548
00:29:57.519 --> 00:30:01.440
just we don't really we don't watch things with guns
549
00:30:01.480 --> 00:30:03.319
in my house, or we don't play video games with XYZ.
550
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:07.640
And no matter what it is, and no matter who
551
00:30:07.640 --> 00:30:11.720
I talk to, I know they're not gonna say that's
552
00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:14.640
a really good idea. I'm gonna start implementing that too.
553
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:19.599
I know it's gonna be a confrontation that I'm simply
554
00:30:19.640 --> 00:30:20.519
not built for.
555
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:23.920
Yeah, I'm trying to think. I mean, most of it
556
00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:27.119
you just eat, but some of it you If you
557
00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:28.960
find out your kid's been going to somebody else's house
558
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:30.839
and they all they're doing the entire time they're there
559
00:30:30.920 --> 00:30:35.160
is watching TV or playing video games, you're like, hey,
560
00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:38.039
I'm not cool with that. He's gonna stop coming over.
561
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:39.480
If that's the kind of thing that you're gonna be
562
00:30:39.519 --> 00:30:42.640
doing there, I really appreciate it if you guys find
563
00:30:42.680 --> 00:30:45.720
something more constructive to be doing with your time. And also,
564
00:30:46.359 --> 00:30:51.519
here's the thing. If you raise your child, this is
565
00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:54.279
this is very I'm very thin nice here. If you
566
00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:57.680
raise your child in such a way that they know
567
00:30:57.799 --> 00:31:02.000
what is expected of them, regardless of whether they're in
568
00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:06.960
the house or outside of it, then they will respect
569
00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:12.079
those rules. God, I'm really it's like, this is very
570
00:31:12.119 --> 00:31:15.720
dangerous territory because that's not true of everybody. There's neurodivergent children,
571
00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:17.680
there's kids that just don't agree with this. I just
572
00:31:17.720 --> 00:31:20.599
have my and I'm sure that my I'll deal with
573
00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:25.559
some of this with my daughter, but my son, we've
574
00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:27.759
we've made it a clear place where you can be
575
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:30.200
honest about anything. You won't be in trouble, Like you
576
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:32.799
can tell us anything. We are your friends too, but
577
00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:35.680
we're most forced and foremost your parents, and we care
578
00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:39.960
about your safety and like your betterment. And so there
579
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:41.960
are rules when he goes to other houses that he
580
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.039
has to follow, and some of those rules are not fun,
581
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:47.759
Like he wants to play the video games, We're like, no,
582
00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:49.839
you're not. I mean, if you could, I guess it's
583
00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:52.079
okay for like an hour or something, but after that,
584
00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:54.839
you gotta gotta go do something else. And as far
585
00:31:54.839 --> 00:31:58.759
as I know, he's following those rules, but occasionally it'll
586
00:31:58.759 --> 00:32:01.160
come up where he goes to sleepover and he was
587
00:32:01.200 --> 00:32:04.000
up till two and they're just watching movies. So then
588
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:06.400
I'm I've got two people to talk to. Then right,
589
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:08.440
I'm like, I got to talk to my son, be like,
590
00:32:08.640 --> 00:32:10.960
that's not what we do. You need to you need
591
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:12.880
to step away from that situation. You need to go
592
00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:15.039
find somewhere else to go to sleep. And then I
593
00:32:15.039 --> 00:32:19.799
gotta go to the parent and be like, uh, where
594
00:32:19.799 --> 00:32:21.680
do were you? And they're like, well, we went to bed.
595
00:32:21.880 --> 00:32:23.559
The kids were just up there having a good time.
596
00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:27.559
And then I gotta be like, I prefer that my
597
00:32:27.640 --> 00:32:30.960
son wasn't that this group of children had some sort
598
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:34.960
of parental involvement during that time. And again they go
599
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:37.960
go into my manager speak, right, And I know.
600
00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:41.599
Myself in that situation where I in your shoes, I
601
00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:44.240
would be like totally isolate. You want to go to sleep.
602
00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:47.079
In the future, you can call me and I will
603
00:32:47.119 --> 00:32:48.960
come to your house and I'll be with the children
604
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:51.319
at night and I'll stay and be there, be their
605
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:53.680
parent to supervision. It's fine, I'm not I'm not asking
606
00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:56.079
to change your life. Just have me come. I'll do it.
607
00:32:56.279 --> 00:33:01.240
I'll I'll be the only parent on the block. Yeah.
608
00:33:01.279 --> 00:33:04.519
So as a parent has been really the only the
609
00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:06.680
first time in my life where I have not cared
610
00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:09.480
what other people think about me. And it's it's very freeing.
611
00:33:09.960 --> 00:33:12.119
It's very freeing. Occasionally I'll check in on it afterwards
612
00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:15.440
and be like, ooh, that was that probably didn't look
613
00:33:15.519 --> 00:33:18.359
good and that probably wasn't great for that other person,
614
00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:23.240
and I'll think that I burn bridges and I'm like, Okay,
615
00:33:23.279 --> 00:33:26.319
well then that's it's a shame it went that way.
616
00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:29.039
But it's like nothing can be done about it.
617
00:33:29.119 --> 00:33:29.279
Now.
618
00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:32.880
I need everyone and I think they do. I hope
619
00:33:32.920 --> 00:33:36.200
everyone in my in my whole life understands that I'm
620
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:41.319
different now and that everything else from before doesn't count anymore.
621
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:43.160
And there and there's only one thing that matters now.
622
00:33:43.960 --> 00:33:49.000
Yeah, there's one thing. Even you think your significant other like,
623
00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:51.440
you're like you both understand the situation. You're like, oh,
624
00:33:51.480 --> 00:33:54.640
you know what I used to really like platonically love you.
625
00:33:55.240 --> 00:34:01.160
That's gone. I am in love with you, But boy,
626
00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:04.079
there was like we would move around the house and
627
00:34:04.079 --> 00:34:06.960
I would scratch your neck or like I we would,
628
00:34:07.640 --> 00:34:11.079
I would save some of that affection, that platonic affection
629
00:34:11.199 --> 00:34:15.119
just for you. That's toast man. God, it's all going.
630
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:20.320
To business business speak. No, there's never been more co
631
00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:27.360
workers than new parents. That's the strongest relationship.
632
00:34:29.039 --> 00:34:32.679
Hustling through the office hallway to your different jobs and
633
00:34:32.719 --> 00:34:34.360
the different tests you got to take care of during
634
00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:36.679
the day. And occasionally, yeah, you with coworkers, like you
635
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:38.360
get to have a moment of reprieve with them and
636
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:42.800
you just catch up. But that's not it is. It
637
00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:47.519
is like coworkers for a very long time. Yeah, it's exciting.
638
00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:50.079
I know there's a memory I have of myself as
639
00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:55.000
a kid older middle school, probably going to my friend
640
00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:58.199
Chris's house. Chris had a pool and I was so excited.
641
00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:00.440
It was like one of the first swimming days of summer.
642
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:05.559
And I get there and his mom was like, yes,
643
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:10.239
swim in the pool. It's fine. I have to go.
644
00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:13.800
I'm leaving now, but you guys can swim in the pool.
645
00:35:14.840 --> 00:35:17.840
And Chris is fine. Do you think you would be
646
00:35:17.880 --> 00:35:23.360
fine too? And I was like, no, not, I have
647
00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:26.119
to call my mom and tell her. Yeah, And because
648
00:35:26.119 --> 00:35:30.400
because Chris is like this, no one will know. Just
649
00:35:30.440 --> 00:35:33.800
say that you're fine to swim without parental supervision. You
650
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:36.360
can't drown. You can drown any pool, but like, it's
651
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:38.719
not it's not a pool with a deep end or anything.
652
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:42.519
I was like, yeah, I know, but I know my
653
00:35:42.559 --> 00:35:44.800
mom wouldn't want me to, so I'm just gonna call
654
00:35:44.840 --> 00:35:47.440
her and tell her the situation so she can tell
655
00:35:47.480 --> 00:35:49.840
me to come home. And that's what happened. And then
656
00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:52.519
I came home and I was so upset. And now
657
00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:54.800
that I have a kid, I'm like, how do I
658
00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:57.400
make a a kid who's a big fucking loser? As
659
00:35:57.400 --> 00:36:03.280
I was, Yeah, that was such the right decision. How
660
00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:05.000
do I do that? Yeah?
661
00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:07.760
You were because you, you wanted your parents to respect
662
00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:10.320
you like you. It was so important to you when
663
00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:13.320
you were young that your parents. I don't want to
664
00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:15.400
tie it to love, because I don't think it is.
665
00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:17.400
I think that they you know that you were going
666
00:36:17.480 --> 00:36:19.679
to be loved unconditionally, but you didn't want to let
667
00:36:19.760 --> 00:36:22.679
them down. Yeah, And so you were like you and
668
00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:25.159
how do you foster that with it your own child? Really,
669
00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:31.199
I want my child not to want to let me down. Well,
670
00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:32.880
I so when I was young, I had the same
671
00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:35.679
situation where I was. I was allowed to go anywhere
672
00:36:35.719 --> 00:36:37.920
without a parent, and in fact, my parents would call.
673
00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:40.880
Even in high school. My parents would call and be like, hey,
674
00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:41.920
is there going to be a parent there? And I'm
675
00:36:41.960 --> 00:36:43.840
like yeah. They'd be like give us the number, and
676
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:50.400
I was like you, you fucking got it right. And
677
00:36:50.440 --> 00:36:52.239
then they'd ask is there going to be alcohol there?
678
00:36:52.280 --> 00:36:54.360
And I'd be like, I don't know. And I was
679
00:36:54.400 --> 00:36:57.719
so mad that they wouldn't just trust me in those circumstances.
680
00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:01.199
They're like, I'm gonna I've made good choices my whole life.
681
00:37:01.239 --> 00:37:06.800
You told I was rigidly assigned this task of being
682
00:37:06.840 --> 00:37:11.480
this person who is disrespectful and honest I will I'm
683
00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:13.039
gonna be good there, and I.
684
00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:14.920
Would be bad about it when I would come home
685
00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:19.079
from hanging out with people in high school and my
686
00:37:19.159 --> 00:37:21.000
mom would do that move where she gives you, gives
687
00:37:21.039 --> 00:37:22.880
me a hug, and then like smells to see if
688
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:25.079
she could smell alcohol on me, and I would just
689
00:37:25.079 --> 00:37:28.960
be like, no, I wasn't, I wasn't drinking.
690
00:37:29.320 --> 00:37:31.960
I am the problem one. I am losing.
691
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:37.079
Friends every day because I'm not drinking. And then I
692
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:43.239
come home to this mistrust, this distrust I'm losing everywhere
693
00:37:43.239 --> 00:37:48.679
I go. I'm not even reaping the benefits of abstaining
694
00:37:48.719 --> 00:37:52.440
from alcohol with a mother's love and warmth, I'm still
695
00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:55.440
met with suspicions. I would leave.
696
00:37:55.559 --> 00:37:57.559
We'd go to we'd have bonfires where I love people.
697
00:37:57.559 --> 00:37:59.639
We wouldn't really have house parties except in the winter.
698
00:37:59.800 --> 00:38:02.360
But uh, if you were gonna kids were all gonna
699
00:38:02.400 --> 00:38:04.559
drink somewhere and they were gonna party, which is where
700
00:38:04.559 --> 00:38:07.519
you fucking needed to be if you were doing those things.
701
00:38:08.519 --> 00:38:12.039
We'd do bonfires out on somebody's property or something like that. Uh.
702
00:38:12.079 --> 00:38:15.719
And so I would go to these things, and I
703
00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:17.559
know that I have a curfew and I'm not allowed
704
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:19.320
to stay the night, and everybody else is just gonna
705
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:21.159
They've got sleeping bags and stuff and they're just gonna
706
00:38:21.159 --> 00:38:24.960
stay there. But every time I'm leaving, I'm all my
707
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:27.599
way out, and people I know are like, oh, Sword's
708
00:38:27.639 --> 00:38:31.079
gotta go home, Oh, Sword, is it time for bed?
709
00:38:31.679 --> 00:38:34.519
And I've got to be like, yes, yes it is.
710
00:38:36.679 --> 00:38:40.760
Thank you. We'll never have the same connection that you
711
00:38:40.760 --> 00:38:42.880
have with the other people here. That's gotta be fine.
712
00:38:43.400 --> 00:38:45.800
You guys have to you guys have to promise me
713
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:49.400
that you won't you won't do kissing when I leave.
714
00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:51.280
I please just don't kiss each other.
715
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:52.519
Please just don't do any kissing.
716
00:38:52.840 --> 00:38:53.760
It would be super nice.
717
00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:57.920
What if next time we we we start the night
718
00:38:58.000 --> 00:38:58.480
with kissing.
719
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:00.000
Oh, such a good idea.
720
00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:03.320
Still light out so we can see everyone and everything
721
00:39:03.320 --> 00:39:06.000
that's going on, and that way everyone can do it.
722
00:39:06.199 --> 00:39:10.400
We don't smell like smoke yet. It would be perfect. Honestly,
723
00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:13.320
we all just did our kissing in the field before
724
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:18.079
we lit the fire. I'm suggesting it. Why is everyone
725
00:39:18.119 --> 00:39:18.960
looking at me like that?
726
00:39:20.719 --> 00:39:20.920
Yeah?
727
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:23.239
I hated it. I hated the suspicion, but then you know,
728
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:25.440
I you know what it was.
729
00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:26.320
I was.
730
00:39:26.440 --> 00:39:28.639
I felt that I didn't deserve it, not because I
731
00:39:28.679 --> 00:39:32.840
was being so good, because I did drink. I would
732
00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:35.480
go to these things and I would drink, or I
733
00:39:35.480 --> 00:39:39.199
would I didn't do drugs, but I would like, you know,
734
00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:41.639
it was girls and it was drinking, and I was
735
00:39:41.960 --> 00:39:44.360
I was very interested in both of those things. And
736
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:47.119
then I was never caught doing it. So when I
737
00:39:47.119 --> 00:39:49.280
would go home and my mom would be like, did
738
00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:52.320
you drink, I'd be like, no, why are you asking
739
00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:55.719
me that I'm giving you no indication that I did.
740
00:39:55.800 --> 00:39:58.519
I worked out this night specifically so that you wouldn't
741
00:39:58.519 --> 00:39:59.920
be able to tell I did all kinds of.
742
00:40:02.159 --> 00:40:02.360
Why.
743
00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:07.679
So I felt that I had earned the trust only
744
00:40:07.679 --> 00:40:15.159
because of their ignorance, and mad that I wasn't getting it.
745
00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:20.920
But yeah, I think with I'm hoping there's no turn
746
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:23.079
with my son. My son is you know, he's the
747
00:40:23.079 --> 00:40:26.119
best of us. He's so such a great, great kid
748
00:40:26.679 --> 00:40:29.320
and in ways where I'm often surprised by what a
749
00:40:29.320 --> 00:40:32.960
great kid he is. And I'm hoping that there's no
750
00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:36.480
Todd Morenovitch turn in his future where he's just like
751
00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:39.119
he leaves the house. Tom Morenovitch was Mitch.
752
00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:42.760
Quarterback, the quarterback who got really into myth when he
753
00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:44.199
went to college or something, that's.
754
00:40:44.039 --> 00:40:48.000
The guy yeah, hell yeah, well crack cocaine, but yeah,
755
00:40:48.079 --> 00:40:49.679
his dad invented the combine.
756
00:40:49.760 --> 00:40:53.320
His dad was like for the math community, he's going.
757
00:40:53.159 --> 00:40:55.960
To raise a quarterback from birth, and started raising this
758
00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:59.480
boy with no the kid didn't even know McDonald's has existed,
759
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:03.280
and raised what was easily the best quarterback that has
760
00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:09.159
ever been through high school and period. Because then he
761
00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:12.400
went to college and fucking lost his mind, because all
762
00:41:12.400 --> 00:41:13.920
of a sudden he realized there was a whole world
763
00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:16.320
out there that he hadn't been exposed to. I don't
764
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:17.639
want there to be a switch for my son, so
765
00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:19.480
I'm like trying to give him everything and like show
766
00:41:19.559 --> 00:41:21.360
him everything, but also be like, we're not that type
767
00:41:21.360 --> 00:41:24.079
of people. There's you can see that type of people.
768
00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:28.320
We're not that type. We're this type, and hope that sticks.
769
00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:31.679
My daughter is a little bit more defiant, even already
770
00:41:32.079 --> 00:41:34.840
to the point where I'm like, ah, it's gonna be tough, man,
771
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:37.519
It's gonna be really hard when she gets older because everything,
772
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:39.320
all the parenting advice that I give is always like,
773
00:41:39.480 --> 00:41:41.760
just give him good structure, and it's no problem. Give him,
774
00:41:41.760 --> 00:41:44.239
a good structure, good foundation, make it so that they
775
00:41:44.280 --> 00:41:47.360
don't want to let you down, and they'll do they'll
776
00:41:47.400 --> 00:41:50.280
they'll be good kids. I just don't think that that's
777
00:41:50.280 --> 00:41:52.199
probably true of my next one.
778
00:41:52.320 --> 00:41:56.400
Yeah, well, I mean bright side being that that it
779
00:41:56.440 --> 00:41:59.360
doesn't sound like she is even in the running for
780
00:41:59.679 --> 00:42:05.159
a time Morenovitch situation, if she is already aware of
781
00:42:05.320 --> 00:42:11.239
so much world just by strength of character and boundlessness
782
00:42:11.320 --> 00:42:13.079
of curiosity, just so.
783
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:17.599
Willing to lie to me. Where I'm like, well, hold on,
784
00:42:18.079 --> 00:42:20.679
that's this whole thing's supposed to hinge on you being
785
00:42:20.679 --> 00:42:23.719
honest with me. How do how do we walk this back?
786
00:42:24.679 --> 00:42:26.800
How do I get back to a point where you
787
00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:29.400
could tell me anything? But also you're gonna tell me
788
00:42:29.400 --> 00:42:34.800
some things that are really gonna make me mad.
789
00:42:38.159 --> 00:42:42.800
When a kid lies to you, do you do you
790
00:42:42.880 --> 00:42:45.760
say you're lying to me? I know you're lying to me?
791
00:42:46.840 --> 00:42:47.960
Or do you do.
792
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:49.440
You I don't, I don't know.
793
00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:52.239
Try to outsmart them another like get the truth another way?
794
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:56.000
Or do you just let them think they've successfully pulled
795
00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:56.639
one over on you.
796
00:42:59.360 --> 00:43:01.719
I've never left them think that they've successfully pulled one
797
00:43:01.719 --> 00:43:04.519
over because I don't want that positive reinforcement for them.
798
00:43:04.960 --> 00:43:07.159
I'm sure they have I'm sure that they're thin things
799
00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:10.280
that they said that were a lie and then I
800
00:43:10.360 --> 00:43:17.119
never found out. But for the most part, I I say, well,
801
00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:19.519
I mean, it's complicated because there's lots of different ways
802
00:43:19.519 --> 00:43:22.440
this can go, but depending on the circumstances. But there's
803
00:43:22.519 --> 00:43:26.639
like I will do a I will ask them, having
804
00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:29.199
already known the truth. My daughters do like say like,
805
00:43:29.239 --> 00:43:32.320
she's got powdered sugar all over her face, and she's like,
806
00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:34.840
I didn't eat the donut. I think the cat ate it.
807
00:43:35.599 --> 00:43:38.400
And You're like, okay, you think the cat ate that
808
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:43.440
whole donut. She's like yeah, I'm like okay, I trust you.
809
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:47.440
And you say that to them and then you wait
810
00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:49.360
and see if they are going to react in a
811
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:53.719
different way, and then you say, but I see evidence
812
00:43:54.119 --> 00:43:57.639
that you that maybe it was you, and I want
813
00:43:57.679 --> 00:44:00.000
to know how that happened because I see some power
814
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:02.119
sugar around your mouth, and you know what, if you
815
00:44:02.159 --> 00:44:04.280
did eat it, that's okay. We can talk about that
816
00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:07.559
you're not in trouble or anything. And when you're trying
817
00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:09.440
to assure them that they're not in trouble every time,
818
00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:13.360
but that they could be if they lie, that's like,
819
00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:16.599
my only recourse is to be like it's it would
820
00:44:16.639 --> 00:44:19.000
really hurt me. It would make me feel really awful
821
00:44:19.039 --> 00:44:21.719
if you felt like comfortable lying to me like that
822
00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:23.480
kind of stuff is what I will throw at them.
823
00:44:23.519 --> 00:44:27.079
Guilt basically, sure, but yeah, that's kind of how I
824
00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:29.280
handle it. My son did go through a lying phase
825
00:44:29.280 --> 00:44:31.199
for a little bit when he was real young where
826
00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:35.760
he man. He came to me once with he was
827
00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:38.159
very into cones and reflectors and stuff, and he came
828
00:44:38.199 --> 00:44:41.679
to me once with a bike reflector and he was like,
829
00:44:42.239 --> 00:44:44.920
look what I got. And I was like, where did
830
00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:51.440
you get this from? He's like, I found it. I
831
00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:55.360
found it a few days ago. And I'm like, okay,
832
00:44:56.159 --> 00:44:58.440
did you take this off of a bike? And he's like,
833
00:45:01.119 --> 00:45:01.920
I don't remember.
834
00:45:03.480 --> 00:45:05.639
Nice. Nice.
835
00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:09.000
Then I didn't realize how deep the light went until
836
00:45:09.039 --> 00:45:10.719
like I finally got him to come clean. I was like,
837
00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:11.800
if you took it off a bike, you got to
838
00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:14.159
just tell me. He finally revealed that he did it
839
00:45:14.199 --> 00:45:16.239
had it was supposed to have a backing that helped
840
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:19.400
it stand the bike and was more identifiable, and had
841
00:45:19.599 --> 00:45:22.679
hidden it over by in the back of our yard,
842
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:25.880
like he had gone and hidden this thing, knowing full
843
00:45:25.920 --> 00:45:28.320
well that like he had to cover his tracks and
844
00:45:28.360 --> 00:45:31.920
that I was very worried about that. I was like, oh, man.
845
00:45:32.280 --> 00:45:34.559
I don't have to come clean. I took this reflector
846
00:45:34.599 --> 00:45:37.039
off a bike after I put a stick in the
847
00:45:37.079 --> 00:45:39.480
spokes of this guy who was riding it. He flipped over,
848
00:45:39.880 --> 00:45:44.119
covered him with some branches, took the reflector a trunk.
849
00:45:44.360 --> 00:45:45.239
He's in your trunk.
850
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:48.599
It's not going to come back to you. It's not
851
00:45:48.639 --> 00:45:51.239
going to come back. I was careful, like you raised
852
00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:52.880
me to be. I was careful.
853
00:45:54.280 --> 00:45:58.039
What I say is that you really love to see
854
00:45:58.800 --> 00:46:03.239
your child cry and confess to you. Like they couldn't
855
00:46:03.280 --> 00:46:06.000
hold it in that telltale heart, couldn't Like they just
856
00:46:06.039 --> 00:46:09.239
couldn't deal with the beating anymore. And they're like, I have
857
00:46:09.320 --> 00:46:11.920
to tell you something. Is the vibe that you're getting.
858
00:46:11.719 --> 00:46:12.480
From them, right?
859
00:46:12.599 --> 00:46:13.719
Oh, it feels so good.
860
00:46:14.199 --> 00:46:14.360
Right.
861
00:46:14.440 --> 00:46:18.639
It's a confess a thing because it's unburdens them at
862
00:46:18.639 --> 00:46:19.039
this point.
863
00:46:19.039 --> 00:46:23.440
It's like a unidirectional form of love. Because I float
864
00:46:23.519 --> 00:46:28.119
through the world and I I can lie to anyone,
865
00:46:28.360 --> 00:46:32.559
to everyone, because I'm I'm forty, I've seen I've seen
866
00:46:32.599 --> 00:46:35.239
too much now that I get, like, I understand the
867
00:46:35.280 --> 00:46:37.920
power of lying, but a child being like I can't,
868
00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:42.119
I'm incapable of lying to you. It's like, wow, yeah,
869
00:46:42.119 --> 00:46:42.719
how novel.
870
00:46:43.639 --> 00:46:48.840
This is great. Let's preserve this forever. Don't stop doing this. Yeah,
871
00:46:49.199 --> 00:46:51.519
it's it's really nice now. I'm sure it won't be
872
00:46:51.519 --> 00:46:53.920
in the future. I'm sure everything, every piece of advice
873
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:57.360
that I give, I'm gonna be burnt by later. But yeah,
874
00:46:57.440 --> 00:47:00.039
if you honestly, I know that they're gonna be. You
875
00:47:00.039 --> 00:47:01.639
know what I think about is Friday Night Lights, the
876
00:47:01.679 --> 00:47:05.079
situation where Matt Sarason and the coach's daughter have gone
877
00:47:05.079 --> 00:47:07.159
off to some fuck cabin and like they're going to
878
00:47:07.199 --> 00:47:09.760
try sex for the first time because they're there for
879
00:47:09.800 --> 00:47:14.639
the weekend alone, and they decide they're not ready, like
880
00:47:14.679 --> 00:47:17.199
they like they're both like forcing themselves into it, and
881
00:47:17.199 --> 00:47:19.079
then finally they have a conversation and they're like, we're
882
00:47:19.119 --> 00:47:22.079
not I don't want to do this yet, and they
883
00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:23.960
don't do it, and I'm like, that's I want to
884
00:47:24.039 --> 00:47:25.920
raise a kid like that. How do I get there?
885
00:47:25.920 --> 00:47:28.400
How do I get to a kid who is in
886
00:47:28.519 --> 00:47:31.719
situations where they're the bad decisions are there for them?
887
00:47:32.039 --> 00:47:35.199
For the taking, and they are still making good decisions.
888
00:47:35.559 --> 00:47:37.719
See now, when I think about Friday Night Lights, and
889
00:47:37.760 --> 00:47:44.239
I think of myself as coach Chandler coach, No, Kyle Chandler,
890
00:47:45.039 --> 00:47:53.239
coach Taylor, coach Taylor right, Kyle Chandler coach and tmmy
891
00:47:53.280 --> 00:47:59.760
Tammy Taylor, Kyle coach who can reach every kid, even
892
00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:02.559
Big Tim Riggins. He can reach him, all these people
893
00:48:02.800 --> 00:48:04.719
and all the other parents of kids. He's got that
894
00:48:04.800 --> 00:48:10.760
like gravitas. And then he meets Michael B. Jordan, Vince
895
00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:15.880
Howard's dad and his coach Taylor. Stuff just doesn't work.
896
00:48:16.239 --> 00:48:20.239
All of his Like I'm raising good boys and I'm
897
00:48:20.280 --> 00:48:23.239
the coach, and that means something in this Texas town.
898
00:48:23.360 --> 00:48:26.920
It doesn't mean shit to Vince's dad. And that's I
899
00:48:27.519 --> 00:48:31.199
worry about every parent I meet, being Vince's dad who
900
00:48:31.280 --> 00:48:33.760
was just like you are you are nothing to me
901
00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:36.320
and I don't I don't respect the way you were
902
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:39.360
raising kids, and like, get out of my fucking face.
903
00:48:40.679 --> 00:48:42.000
Yeah, it chills me.
904
00:48:42.599 --> 00:48:47.320
It's scary. We meet Vince's dad in that show, and
905
00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:49.679
all he's thinking about is like, how am I gonna
906
00:48:49.719 --> 00:48:51.679
make money off this kid? How is this going to
907
00:48:51.920 --> 00:48:56.639
how we're gonna like cheat the system or like getta
908
00:48:57.159 --> 00:48:58.599
so yeah, let me get it, let me get a
909
00:48:58.599 --> 00:49:02.239
taste of this, of this for uh these college scholarship money.
910
00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:03.880
And I'm just watching the show and I'm thinking, like,
911
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:11.239
he is upsetting the ecosystem that Coach Taylor is delicately building.
912
00:49:11.559 --> 00:49:16.159
I guess, I guess we gotta kill him. I guess
913
00:49:16.239 --> 00:49:19.360
Landry's gotta kill again because I can't think of any
914
00:49:19.360 --> 00:49:20.159
other way out of this.
915
00:49:21.760 --> 00:49:24.679
Landry, I know you're you're back in your funny phase
916
00:49:24.840 --> 00:49:27.079
and that was fun for us, but we're gonna have
917
00:49:27.199 --> 00:49:30.239
a bad again. It's important that we have a bad
918
00:49:30.280 --> 00:49:32.760
season so we can purge this poison from the well.
919
00:49:34.760 --> 00:49:37.960
I know that there are those parents at my kid's
920
00:49:38.000 --> 00:49:41.000
school there because there's gonna be those parents everywhere, and
921
00:49:42.239 --> 00:49:45.280
we occasionally run into them a little bit. But you
922
00:49:45.360 --> 00:49:47.639
also try to create enough of a foundation for your
923
00:49:47.719 --> 00:49:49.760
child that your child isn't like I want to hang
924
00:49:49.800 --> 00:49:52.800
out with that person occasionally that's the really popular kid,
925
00:49:53.079 --> 00:49:55.239
and then they're very they have to be torn right
926
00:49:55.280 --> 00:49:58.360
because they're like, well, it's not just that I don't
927
00:49:58.360 --> 00:50:00.000
want to hang out with that person. If I don't
928
00:50:00.079 --> 00:50:02.400
hang out with them, I lose access to all these
929
00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:06.159
other people who I do like, And so that's a
930
00:50:06.199 --> 00:50:09.159
really dangerous, precarious situation that we have not really found
931
00:50:09.199 --> 00:50:11.920
ourselves in just yet. But I know it's like around
932
00:50:11.960 --> 00:50:15.639
the corner. I think for the most part, though, you
933
00:50:15.639 --> 00:50:18.519
can avoid that. It's not like you're you're not the
934
00:50:18.559 --> 00:50:20.000
coach of a team where you have to deal with
935
00:50:20.039 --> 00:50:22.199
that child over and over again. For the most part,
936
00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:24.760
you can kind of negotiate around those families. You don't
937
00:50:24.760 --> 00:50:29.880
really have to spend time with them. My sister in
938
00:50:29.960 --> 00:50:35.360
law is a administrator at a school, and she's made
939
00:50:35.400 --> 00:50:37.440
it very clear that when a kid is having some
940
00:50:37.480 --> 00:50:40.519
behavioral issues at the school, it's not like the teacher.
941
00:50:40.599 --> 00:50:43.039
The parents come in and you're just they're shocked and
942
00:50:43.039 --> 00:50:45.679
they're appalled, and they're like, we'll do much better, and
943
00:50:45.800 --> 00:50:49.000
they seem like really good parents. That has never once
944
00:50:49.079 --> 00:50:51.480
happened in her whole career. If there's a kid having
945
00:50:51.480 --> 00:50:54.599
behavioral problems, as soon as you bring those parents in,
946
00:50:54.639 --> 00:50:57.320
you've got to kind of emotionally prepare for a meeting
947
00:50:57.360 --> 00:51:00.519
with some people who are a little bit rougher on
948
00:51:00.559 --> 00:51:01.119
the edges.
949
00:51:01.880 --> 00:51:04.880
Oh, something to look forward to all right, Thanks for
950
00:51:04.960 --> 00:51:08.519
chatting this out, Sore, and that's the podcast. Yeah, out
951
00:51:08.559 --> 00:51:09.360
of steam.
952
00:51:09.639 --> 00:51:12.039
Dan, you're a better person than me. Do sit down
953
00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:14.400
to compliment couch for just a second? Well in the show,
954
00:51:14.440 --> 00:51:16.679
But I'm trying to get a great person. When I
955
00:51:16.679 --> 00:51:18.360
talk about my son being the best of us, I
956
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:19.400
want them to be like you.
957
00:51:20.119 --> 00:51:22.239
Oh that's too much.
958
00:51:22.599 --> 00:51:27.119
It's person You part of what drew me to you
959
00:51:27.199 --> 00:51:30.480
when we first started working at our jobs together, or
960
00:51:30.679 --> 00:51:34.119
like this next to one another. You don't want me
961
00:51:34.119 --> 00:51:35.920
to talk about why is romantically interested in you?
962
00:51:36.079 --> 00:51:40.559
It's well I think. I mean, our podcast has been
963
00:51:40.559 --> 00:51:44.119
going for a couple of seasons now, and sometimes with
964
00:51:44.320 --> 00:51:47.400
shows it hurts when you make the subtext text. I
965
00:51:47.440 --> 00:51:50.119
think you let that stay as the thing that sort
966
00:51:50.119 --> 00:51:52.400
of bubbles under the surface of every episode.
967
00:51:54.119 --> 00:51:57.280
All right, Well, you're a good heart guy. Hey man,
968
00:51:57.360 --> 00:52:00.039
Thanks everybody for listening to the show. This is a
969
00:52:00.559 --> 00:52:02.599
quick question with Sore on it. Daniel. You already knew
970
00:52:02.639 --> 00:52:05.719
that if you want more of this show, can't get
971
00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:07.719
enough of it. We've got a Patreon that you can
972
00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:11.960
subscribe to, and there's more shows behind that wall. If
973
00:52:12.159 --> 00:52:13.960
you like the theme song that's by me Rex you
974
00:52:13.960 --> 00:52:16.719
can find their music anywhere you stream music. If you
975
00:52:17.400 --> 00:52:19.280
want to watch video version of this podcast, you can
976
00:52:19.320 --> 00:52:21.159
find that on YouTube if you're not already watching it
977
00:52:21.159 --> 00:52:23.559
there And if you like the way this podcast is
978
00:52:23.719 --> 00:52:26.840
cut together, you like the cut of its jib. That's
979
00:52:27.119 --> 00:52:29.400
Mackenzie Mozelle and she's got a podcast of her own
980
00:52:29.400 --> 00:52:31.320
that you can listen to. It's called Don't Make It Worse.
981
00:52:32.199 --> 00:52:34.599
Thank you everybody, and goodbye bye.
982
00:52:37.119 --> 00:52:42.960
Oh good quick quick question, only your thoughts on know
983
00:52:43.119 --> 00:52:47.320
what's on your mind. I'm good a quick quick question
984
00:52:48.639 --> 00:52:50.199
any at.
985
00:52:50.440 --> 00:52:52.559
I'll just got the week and talk tonight.
986
00:52:52.800 --> 00:53:01.960
So what's your favorite forget order movie?
987
00:53:02.159 --> 00:53:09.360
Daniel Oberies see Best Friends of Comedy Writers. If there's
988
00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:14.519
an answer, they're gonna find. I think you'll have a
989
00:53:14.519 --> 00:53:15.239
great time.
990
00:53:17.440 --> 00:53:19.239
I think you'll have a great time.