Deciding Fast + Getting Things Done with Kenzie Elizabeth

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Speaker 1: No one has all the answers, but when we ask the right questions, we get a little closer, closer to truths, closer to each other, even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist Danielle Robe, and each week, my guests and I come together to challenge the status quo and our own ways of thinking by daring to ask what if, why not? And who says?
00:00:30
Speaker 2: So?
00:00:30
Speaker 1: Come curious, dig deep, and join the conversation. It's time to question everything. Hello, my friends, I hope you're having a really great week. I can't believe that we're like in mid November already. I'm starting to think about the new year and my New year planning. And last year I did a big New Year's New kind of reset episode in how to Goal Plan, and I'm going to do that again this year. I'm already kind of planning it out and I'm definitely going to download that form again so that we can plan together, So look out for that. And also, I'm going to be talking with you guys on Zoom through the holidays, so as always, if you want to send a screenshot of you sharing the episode with two friends or writing a review, you're entered to win the raffle to zoom with me. Okay, let's get into today's episode. So if Martha Stewart and Nancy Myers had a baby with Wi Fi, it would be Kenzie Elizabeth. Let me start from the beginning. Kenzie launched her YouTube channel at sixteen years old. She turned her life into a business before she could legally drink, and now, after a decade online, she's built an entire ecosystem around being herself, hosting parties, needle pointing, creating, connecting. She's the host of the House Guest podcast, the founder of Friend of Mine, and somehow manages to make domestic life look aspirational and real. She's the girl who will needle point with Grandma's on Thursday, throw a Nancy Meyer's themed dinner party on Friday, and then ship product orders by herself on Saturday. Kenzie and I are friends. We met through the podcasting world years ago, and one of the things I've always loved about her, aside from the obvious you know she's warm and funny and so easy to connect with, is that Kensie goes for it. Check her TikTok or her YouTube out and you'll see what I mean. Buy a house at twenty four, she'll figure it out. Move states because she needs a change done easy. If the house needs painting, she's rolling up her sleeves, and if there's a power tool involved, she's already googled how to use it. She's decisive and scrappy and basically allergic to waiting for permission. Here's a funny example. For years, she wasn't interested in dating. We would always talk about it. She was like, not interested, don't want to do it, and then recently she decided to do a twelve date challenge for YouTube. Okay, and by date number four she had a boyfriend. Kenzi is just a doer, and I like to think of myself as a doer too, But I don't know about you. Sometimes I feel stuck in things. I'll analyze or future cast or make pros and cons lists, and then I kind of hear that phrase in my head and I guess I say it to myself, which is, you're not a tree. Move Danielle. And that's what I so admire about Kenzie. She doesn't over philosophize change. She just moves, and she trusts herself enough to take the step before she's sure it's perfect. She is undeniably a product of this post everything, hustle, hard DIY internet moment, and she conveys that quality that I think we're all chasing online realness. So today is a pretty casual conversation. We cover the gamut, how she learned to trust her gut over everyone else's advice, how the grief of her brother dying reshaped her friendships, and why she believes in faith but not perfection. So the question we're circling today is whose voice is running your life? Yours or everyone else's. It's time to question everything with Kenzie Elizabeth. Some describe you as a walking Pinterest board. What is one quote, to outfit or aesthetic that you are living by this season?
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Speaker 3: I would say I love even though I don't fully live this, but I love the slow like country living. Life just feels so good. Country core life, Yes, country core.
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Speaker 1: What do you think surprises people when they meet you in person?
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Speaker 2: I think that I'm literally the exact same.
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Speaker 3: Either that or I feel like everyone would assume that I'm very high maintenance and I'm actually not. Like I grew up with eight siblings, so you don't really have that liberty. But I would say either that I'm literally the exact same, or that I'm actually not high maintenance.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: I think you are the exact same.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I talk the same. When I'm like vlogging on YouTube, I feel i'm face haiming a friend.
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Speaker 2: If anything. I think I might be funnier in person because you have something to react to. You're very funny. Yes, thank you so much, but like people do not know that on YouTube.
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Speaker 1: What's something that you believed about yourself at twenty that you've let go of?
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean so much. At twenty.
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Speaker 3: I was way more likely to listen to what other people were telling me I needed to do then listen to myself.
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Speaker 2: And I think that's great. I personally love advice.
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Speaker 3: From people that I want to be more like. But I was relying far too heavily on people's opinions that I admired. So I think maybe it's like didn't really trust myself or I didn't think that I was going to make good decisions on my own. Yeah, and I would actually go back and probably change majority of those. Like, there's people that I dated that I would have never dated in my right mind. There's choices that I made career wise. I would put things on hold to like serve their vision more. So I don't regret most of that, but I think that I would go back and I would do it differently.
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Speaker 4: Now.
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Speaker 1: For sure, you shared your life in your twenties so openly. Does privacy look different.
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Speaker 4: To you now?
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Speaker 3: There's things in my life that feel like more sacred that I don't share, that are just more like emotional. Yeah, privacy is different when I was younger, especially in college, Like when you're logging every day, you're with your friends all the time, so there was always so many different people, and I think that, like, my relationships are a lot more private now.
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Speaker 1: One of the things I've noticed about you can see is like you have never, at a young age, never been afraid to make big decisions, like you move states, you bought a house, you bought a car, like things that people get nervous about in their thirties, forties and fifties, and you just push forward. What is that?
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Speaker 2: That's actually my favorite quality about myself.
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Speaker 3: Like there's a lot of things I don't like, but I'm very decisive and it's gotten me in a lot of trouble and I haven't always been your right decisions, But I'm like whatever, the opposite of all talk is.
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Speaker 2: That's me.
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Speaker 3: Like if I was second, I am all walk. Yeah, I just have like a gut feeling.
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Speaker 2: I follow it.
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Speaker 3: I always say like I am Hawaian because I had a dad who like really thought I could be president. Like my dad just believes me so much. So I think that I had the safety of that relationship and someone always backing me. That definitely made it a lot easier. I don't think I would have been like that if it were for that relationship.
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Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm very critical of your decisions.
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Speaker 3: Ever, he's not critical, but he's the first person to tell me I'm wrong. Like he's not the dad that's like my perfect angel daughter who's never done anything wrong in her life. I'm literally my dad, Like we're so similar. So I think a lot of the decisions that I make like he gets it. So he's not necessarily critical. He's very supportive.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's definitely things that I've done that he hasn't loved, but he just kind of lets me live.
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Speaker 1: That's you be you. Is there any advice that you would give to your younger self who is just starting out, Like, is there anything you wish you could tell her.
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Speaker 3: I started when I was sixteen, Like I was so young, I would say, you don't want to appeal to everyone.
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Speaker 2: I was really focused.
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Speaker 3: On being very broad and appealing to like a mass audience. And I wish I would have gone a little bit more like niche and specific, because what I didn't realize is that I wasn't connecting with people as much as I could be because I was trying to make everything so broad to where it appealed to, like the masses, but really.
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Speaker 2: Like trying to find your crowd. And I think that helped me back.
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Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing the identity that you've created, and if so, how do you deal with that?
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Speaker 3: No, because it grows with me, Like my whole platform is me, which I do kind of hate a lot, like I get so tired of myself, But because it's me, I feel like it's.
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Speaker 2: Just always evolving with me.
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Speaker 3: I do sometimes think like have I lost to so much my audience in becoming like a grandma? Like I was so crazy and fun before, you know, I don't ever feel like I've outgrown it because it's always growing with me, Like simultaneously.
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Speaker 1: Have you lost your audience or I feel like you've gained audience since being a grandma.
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Speaker 3: I don't know, Like there could have been all these people who stopped, and there could have been all these new people and then it just evened out.
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Speaker 2: But I don't think so. I think people like, even if.
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Speaker 3: They don't relate to the whole grandma thing, I think they can get down with it for a little bit.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. Hopefully does any part of you ever want to get offline?
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Speaker 2: No, I really love it.
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Speaker 3: I always hear people who are like, I want to make a lot of money, and then like you'll never hear from me again, Like, I truly love it, Like you could make billions and you'll be I would still want to do it. Like I love making videos, I love podcasts.
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Speaker 2: I really love it. I would still be doing it. It's really amazing I was doing when I was making no money.
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Speaker 1: You know, is there a lesson about monetizing your life that no one prepared you for?
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Speaker 3: No. I have found a way to monetize every single thing in my life.
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Speaker 2: I love hobbies and that's my whole thing. But I've monetized all my hobbies.
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Speaker 1: What does that mean? Give me specifics, like you get paid to needle point.
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Speaker 3: Needle Point is one. We now sell a needle Point canvases. We're like launching under a big needle point company. Hosting dinner parties. I love cooking. I start a home brand that's doing all of that. Reading, I have a book club with the podcast Gardening. Will do stuff with that, and even when it's a hobby, it's like I'm sharing it. I feel like when I had less hobbies, it was harder for me because I was like, Okay, everything feels like a little bit of work, but I just have so many hobbies and like, I love what I do and it just is all kind of come together. In my earlier twenties, though, the reason I got so into hobbies was because I didn't really have anything outside of like work and going out. So I wanted to have something to my life that I found interesting.
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Speaker 2: The coolest part about hobbies or the people that you connect with. That's why people don't tell you about hobbies.
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Speaker 3: Is that I have so many people in my life that I would have never met had it up and hobbies like the ranch hand at the ranch I go to, I talked to like very frequently, like I have my people at the farmer's market that like sell me plants that I taught. Like it's just so cool. Need appointing. I go and like, you know all these grandma. I was like, you know, that's my dream. You meet a lot of like really cool people. I think in my earlier twenties it was hard because it didn't feel like I was ever like clocking out in a way.
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Speaker 2: But like I have a cool shop ever, so it's like not the worst thing in the world.
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Speaker 3: So I started hobbies to not monetize them, and then I like build whole business around that.
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Speaker 2: So like that's kind of about the door.
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Speaker 1: How did you know how to build a business?
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Speaker 3: People really underestimate YouTube. When I went to school, I majored in business, and I was so surprised by how many things I'd learned just being in that space. I maybe didn't know the actual term or what it was, but I really did learned so much doing YouTube for like a couple of years prior. And I also just like love it. You can learn so much to like podcast in books, in just by doing I've learned way more in those areas than I ever did in school.
00:11:12
Speaker 1: Give me nitty gritty, like because you have a right hand person who's helping you create all these products, or you're doing this solo.
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Speaker 2: So the business is just me.
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Speaker 3: We do have people that are freelanced, that are heavily involved, like I couldn't do it without them, Like we are building a team, but there's no one full time.
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Speaker 1: I'll give you an example, like all the card games I ship out of my apartment.
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Speaker 2: Okay, No, we do have a fulfillment center.
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Speaker 1: Okay I can't.
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Speaker 2: Yeah that I can't do. But we don't have like full time employees.
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Speaker 3: We do have like teams and vendors that are obviously like making the products and not like doing that.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not mailing them.
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Speaker 1: I go to a PO box to drop things off. But I'm amazed by mail, Like the fact that we can get things from one place to another so quickly blows my mind.
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Speaker 2: No, that does blow my mind. That to me is crazy.
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Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll like mail so the out I CAMPLI this is going to be like so and So's house, like so like you know, after something. I asked a lot of questions, and honestly, I was so lucky with the podcast because I was able to interview and be in rooms with all of these very successful entrepreneurs that I would have never been in the same room as otherwise. So I was able to learn up close to like so many other people so cool years leading up to it.
00:12:21
Speaker 2: So I got really lucky.
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Speaker 1: That's so cool. Have you always been that girl or did you have like a glow up at any point in your life?
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Speaker 2: Like what do you mean by that? Girl?
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Speaker 1: Like, I feel like people are drawn to you, like you sparkle, thank you, And I'm wondering if that's always been the case or if you can pinpoint a moment where something changed.
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Speaker 2: This reminds me of something that you've said to me.
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Speaker 3: How Like I wasn't the cutestin school, but I thought I was, like I've always felt that way, like I've always had that energy.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if that was always true, And it.
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Speaker 3: Really depends on who you ask for sure, But I was like clast favorite in the yearbook. I was very involvable. Also, I was like going to court for truancy. Yeah, I was like really working in the system there. But I just like people, like, I don't know. I was always very talkative. I was always very social. I was always one who was like planning the parties and the surprise birthday parties and.
00:13:12
Speaker 2: All that stuff.
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Speaker 1: I think something that I have noticed about you that is funny is that people would not expect that you have done so much deep in our work because you don't talk about it all the time. It's not like your brand. But you are so into self development books. You're so into bettering yourself. Was that always the case? Yes, from a young age.
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, my whole life.
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Speaker 3: I always joke that my dad is like at my let just like minus the billions of dollars, Like he is so into leadership.
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Speaker 2: He's always been so into self development.
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Speaker 3: He was a huge athlete growing up, so he really got that I think mindset from being an athlete.
00:13:52
Speaker 2: But no, I've always been so much.
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Speaker 3: I was reading self help books in like high school, in middle school. Actually really it's crazy. Back then it was more like Christian based books. But yeah, I woul always doing stuff. What was the book that started at all for you? I don't know if there's one book. As a kid, I just remember always having them and I was in therapy like starting in fifth grade.
00:14:09
Speaker 2: So I feel like that kind of led me down that path a little bit.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't think of.
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Speaker 3: One book though before like eighteen that I remember, but I was reading them, Like I don't know how much it actually did.
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Speaker 2: For me, but I was doing it, you know.
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Speaker 1: So your company is called friend of Mine and it even has the word friend in it. When I think of you, I think of a truly good friend. You are a solid friend to a lot of different people who taught you how to be a good friend.
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Speaker 3: I don't know if I was taught to be a good friend as much as that was just something that I cared so much about.
00:14:41
Speaker 2: I also got very lucky at a young age.
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Speaker 3: So many of those people I'm still like the people I was texting on the way here, I've known since I was eight.
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Speaker 2: Also, I think my childhoo best.
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Speaker 3: Friend was an only child, and my home life at the time was very tumultuous and like really all over the place. And I love my family, we're so close style, but it was just very rocky. So I think that that friendship like really shaped me a ton looking back, because we were kind of each other's family, and that's really I would say where I like learned more so to be a good friend. I think maybe from other people around me. I don't think it was so intentional. My parents didn't like sit down and say, like we value friendship. I think it was just like something I really wanted.
00:15:21
Speaker 1: I asked because one of my favorite qualities about my mom is I think she's a really good friend to people. But like you said, we never sat down and talked about friendship. I think I watched her, like when her friend Susan had breast cancer, she would go and drop food off every week, and she just really shows up for people. But I do think that like in my twenties, I took pieces of friendship. I don't know how to say this, Like I watched my friends be friends and I thought, oh, that was so nice how she showed up for me. That felt good. I should do that for other people, and I would like take all these little pieces. Have you experienced that at all?
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Speaker 2: Yes? And I actually think the biggest influence as far as friendship would go, would just be like Texas culture, That's just kind of how it is.
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Speaker 3: Like I was surrounded by so many people who were such good friends and were always showing up, and like witnessing that definitely led me to want to do that more like my parents.
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Speaker 2: They weren't like so social when I was a kid.
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Speaker 3: They weren't like friends around all the time, and I think maybe I wanted that.
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Speaker 2: I don't really know.
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Speaker 3: I do think it's like the culture of Texas though like Texas is the very like welcoming place. It's very like Texas or die It's very community based, like people are always showing up for each other. Honestly, having a church background, I think it's a huge part of it because we were all so close, like my like youth group friends and I were like so so so close, Like we're still showing up for each other last week, like with someone's experiencing a tragedy. So maybe it's Texas, maybe it's a church background. I think it's a combination of just seeing.
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Speaker 1: All that what is showing up mean for you?
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Speaker 2: I think it.
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Speaker 3: Looks different depending on the situation and also depending on the person. I think people are so scared to show up for other people because they think that that means you have to have all the answers, like you have to go there and you have to talk to them, you have to give them this advice, even when it's this catastrophic.
00:17:06
Speaker 2: Thing you've never experienced.
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Speaker 3: And I think showing up for someone is actually very simple, going and sitting on the couch with them for four hours, Like you don't even have to speak, You don't have to talk, you can watch a show. You actually probably shouldn't offer advice if you don't have an experience, like if someone's not asking for it. It just varies, and then it could be like if you're a long distance friend just calling checking in.
00:17:26
Speaker 2: It just depends on the friendship.
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Speaker 1: Is there anything that sticks out to you that a friend's done that made you feel really loved or taken care of?
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Speaker 2: Oh mean, there's so much by like cheap best friends.
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Speaker 3: Dom and Macie have been like my lifeline since like my brother passed away in January last year. Like I cry every time I talk about it, because like they've done everything. As soon as I found out, I texted domin I was like I need to hear. I found out probably two pm on a Sunday, and she was in my bed at like ten beyond Sunday, Like.
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Speaker 2: She was there so fast.
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Speaker 3: Wow, I think just like them consistently being there and consistently showing up, Like I've learned so much about friendship from specific my friendship with Domic.
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Speaker 2: We've been first friends since you were like twenty years old.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, and we've gone through so many different like life phases together, and I think that has been a friendship has probably made the biggest impact.
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Speaker 2: But I think they're such a good example of people who just show up.
00:18:13
Speaker 1: It's like the best feeling in the world when you call on a friend and they're there. Faith is a really big part of your background. You touched on it a little bit. Does it show up for you in your life today?
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Speaker 2: Still, Yeah, just in a different way. I think. Here's the thing. I've like always had a pretty strong faith.
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Speaker 3: My relationship with the church has definitely like ebbed and flowed.
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Speaker 2: But even when I was like so out of.
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Speaker 3: It and like couldn't even like hear a worship song, it would like literally maybe want to punch someone into face. Like even at that point, I still heard, like what I felt was like a strong connection with God.
00:19:03
Speaker 1: I don't know if you feel this way, but I think like religion and a relationship with God can be two separate totally.
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Speaker 3: They're very different, and they've always been very different to me. There's just been times where I've been like more involved with church, and I think that's really where things go south. And also like I love the church, Like I think there's like so many amazing things about it. I don't go religiously. I'm not always there, but I definitely see the pros. I've made some of my best friends with the word. I met don there.
00:19:28
Speaker 2: Definitely it's been a journey for sure.
00:19:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it is something that as much as I like try to get away from it, it's always there. Like as much as I try to get as far away and I have no interest, I somehow always find my way back. So I think I just kind of have to stop fighting it. There's just something I don't know.
00:19:47
Speaker 1: I actually have never asked you this. Did you grow up in a religious household or how did church become so important to you?
00:19:53
Speaker 3: So I didn't grow up in a very religious household. We would go on like Christmas in Easter occasionally, and then my parents had a really bad divorce when I was in middle school. And around that time I had friends who really inviting me to youth group. Right, so I go to youth camp. I'm obsassed, I'm dating the pastor some Within a week of course, classic's.
00:20:12
Speaker 2: The most meathing has ever happened.
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Speaker 5: And I like make all these friends and I like loved it.
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Speaker 3: So I started going on my own and then I had a pretty bad, like traumatic experience there and I stopped going.
00:20:24
Speaker 2: I ended up moving to la and I ended up in.
00:20:26
Speaker 3: A Bible college, which is like so backwards and crazy. So I didn't grow up and it was always my own thing, which I think is largely white.
00:20:34
Speaker 2: It's always been more of a relationship.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: Like I didn't grow up in like a religious environment, right, and I've always been like a very progressive person, so like I've never been like a conservative religious feel like that's never been my thing, which is another issue.
00:20:47
Speaker 2: That I've had. So like it's very layered.
00:20:49
Speaker 1: Do you pray?
00:20:50
Speaker 3: It's crazy, Like I just got a second place in Nashville, And I had always had this feeling that I was going to end up in Nashville at some point in some capacity. I didn't really feel like it was going to be full time. I just didn't know what that was going to look like. Normally, you know me, I'm so decisive. The second I have a feeling about something, I do it. But for some reason, I just know it's not yet. So Actually March of twenty twenty, were in Nashville when like COVID hit and I just bought my.
00:21:15
Speaker 2: House in Texas and I have this feeling immediate. I was like, oh my God. And I have these specific feelings about moving.
00:21:22
Speaker 3: Always, I was like, I'm going crazy. I just bought a house in Texas. Isn't sing and feel insane? But I just kind of clocked it in the back of my head. I was always like, there's like something in Nashville. I don't know what it is, but like eventually, fast forward to February of this year, I was visiting some friends in Nashville. I was there last minute. I wasn't even supposed to be there. I booked my flight like a day before. I was supposed to be there for two days. I was there for six and I had that feeling, but it was way stronger this time.
00:21:46
Speaker 1: How do you describe the feeling.
00:21:47
Speaker 2: It's just a really strong gut feeling to me.
00:21:50
Speaker 3: If something is a god thing, it's something that's like coming into my mind that like I'm not really trying to orchestraight, Like I wasn't trying to like actively move to Nashville. At that point, and all of a sudden, I started thinking about a lot, like it was coming to mind a ton, and it wasn't something that like I necessarily like wanted either. So in February I was there and I was talking to a friend and I was saying, like, I don't know what it is, but I just feel like I'm supposed to do it sooner or other than later.
00:22:16
Speaker 2: I think this is like the shift that I need to make in my life.
00:22:18
Speaker 3: I just have this like very strong gut feeling, but I also have this weird feeling that like, if it's meant to be, it's going to be easy. And I don't really subscribe to that like idea of life in general, but for some reason, I just really felt strong, if it's supposed to happen, it's going to happen. In that conversation, he gets a text from his landlord because there's two guest houses on this property.
00:22:38
Speaker 2: He gets at taxed from his landlord that.
00:22:40
Speaker 3: That guest house was opening up the date that I wanted it. So I was like, that's so crazy because all the other issues that I had too were all solved by living in that house, like specifically versus like another apartment or something in Nashville. So it was so crazy, but it was like I prayed about it that week and literally within days it happened, and it came together so seamlessly, to the point where I was like, that was the craziest thing.
00:22:59
Speaker 2: That's ever happened me.
00:23:00
Speaker 1: Do you ever get signs?
00:23:01
Speaker 2: Yes? Do you get signs?
00:23:03
Speaker 1: Okay? So I grew up without a lot of religion in my life at all, and I would say even without faith, and I'm like culturally Jewish. And then I moved to la and I met this guy. I actually had him on the podcast, so I won't recount it, but his name is Steve Carlston and he was the GM of NBC and he was Mormon, and I watched how he lived his life and I'd never been in such admiration of somebody. And it was around the same time that I started reading books like Oprah. That's was the first time I picked up self development. And a lot of these people that I was admiring virtually or up close had some sort of faith. They were all different religions. Some didn't even have religion, but they had faith in something in FARSI like, God means the deepest part of you. And I always have like loved that idea of it, and I thought, I wonder if I'm missing something because all these people I admire have such deep faith. And I worked on and I worked on it, and it would come and it would go, and I would waiver and I would be skeptical, and then I would feel something. And it wasn't until I dated the last boyfriend I had. He was Catholic and he had such a beautiful relationship with God, and I thought, whoa, it like clicked for me and we don't necessarily worship the same God. I don't know, like maybe we do. It's the universe. I'm not sure what it is. But ever since I became mindful like and noticing, signs have showed up in my life. That was the long story to say, like yes, and even though I noticed them, I'm still skeptical because like the inner child in me is like, is this for real?
00:24:38
Speaker 2: But by the way, I'm still like that, oh my God. Still yes.
00:24:41
Speaker 3: I still am like I don't know is this real? And I go through months where I am so disconnected and then I'll get back. That's what I mean by something always pulls me back in like there's always something, But I still had that even when I think I see something that I feel like is a sign, or I get this idea out of nowhere, it's actually something I was praying about and it's actually answered.
00:25:01
Speaker 2: I'm always like, but was that an answer, Preyer or was that just a coincidence? Always? Yeah, right, Even if none of.
00:25:06
Speaker 3: This is real, I would rather live with the hope that it is because it gives you something to believe in that's greater than yourself, that's supposed to be bringing people together.
00:25:13
Speaker 2: Now.
00:25:14
Speaker 3: Of course, religion, historically and even now it is being used in a very negative way where it's doing the complete opposite of that and like oppressing people, and that is not what I subscribe to. But I think it's a really beautiful thing to believe in something bigger than you. Another thing too, that my family and I talk about with grief is that when you have a loss that is so close to you and so catastrophic and like feels like a part of you is like ripped out, you almost have this like sixth sense where you feel God so much closer to you, even though you're like so angry and want like nothing to do with him, But there's just so many things in life that I feel like I have. It's weird to say advantage point of because like, obviously it's not a positive, but I feel like I can see things a lot clearer. It's like grief, there's this thing where it makes everything in the world so foggy you can't think straight. I still have such bad brain fogg this morning when we're recording, Like my brain fog is just so bad it can't even like speak normally still. But at the same time, you have this clarity of like understanding what really matters, what's worth your time.
00:26:17
Speaker 2: Anything that I.
00:26:18
Speaker 3: Was confused about, like relationally or with people in my life before, I think it was over time abundantly clear to me what the answers were.
00:26:26
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of that has to do with grief.
00:26:29
Speaker 3: I think it all kind of goes into this like spiritual realm, whatever it is, where you just have this like understanding when you experience such a loss and you yourself are like crash into a billion pieces and having to be put back together.
00:26:42
Speaker 1: You talk about your brother a lot on your podcast. Is it hard to talk about him?
00:26:47
Speaker 3: It depends on my vibe that day, Like some days I just can't at all, and other days, if I can talk about it publicly, if I feel a little more removed, Like today, I feel a little more removed. I find a lot of healing in it, and like connecting with other people in grief has been like beneficial to me. And that's not everyone's experience, but I feel a little bit of healing.
00:27:06
Speaker 1: I think, did you lose friends, Oh my god, because you felt like people didn't show up for you?
00:27:12
Speaker 3: Yes, that was my friend breakup. That's why it was so catastrophic and like painful. I would say I didn't lose many other friends because I felt that way. I think I just changed, Like you're so different at the course, like I've always been the same, but grief changes you in so many different ways, and I just like didn't have the energy for like so many other things.
00:27:34
Speaker 2: So you lose friendships in that way. I feel like overall, like my friends really showed up.
00:27:39
Speaker 1: One of the things I love about my friendship with you is that you're gen z and I'm a millennial. I'm wondering what you think are great divide is like, what do you notice is our biggest differences.
00:27:48
Speaker 2: One.
00:27:49
Speaker 3: I think that gen Z there's this like narrative around them being like very lazy and not wanting.
00:27:54
Speaker 2: To work and listen. Like that is true, I can see it. But I also think that.
00:27:58
Speaker 3: Gen Z is like brilliant, and I think that they have so many good ideas and that there's so much coming that's like great from gen Z. I think what's happening too with gen Z is that gen Z is like way over correcting millennials.
00:28:11
Speaker 1: Like over correcting. What what did we do? Like we were boundaries side parts.
00:28:16
Speaker 3: No, like think about like even something like boundaries, right, We're like that wasn't really talked about in generations prior to millennials, right, And then like I feel like gen Z really took boundaries and ran with it so much so to the point where like they are losing all of their friendships by way of having quote boundaries, but really they're just being selfish and not wanting to show up for other people or like being a part of a village, Like they don't want to do that. I honestly think that they see to respect each other more because like I.
00:28:41
Speaker 1: Agree, I think that's what it is a lot to learn from it.
00:28:43
Speaker 2: Exactly, and like millennials paved the way. Have some respect and gen Z like isn't dumb and lazy? Have some respect? You know what I mean? I think that's what it is.
00:28:51
Speaker 1: I think you guys know a lot more than we did.
00:28:54
Speaker 3: Do you think that's because of the amount of access we have, like medioized.
00:28:58
Speaker 1: I think the Internet held I think like what was formerly known as Twitter helped in some ways too, because you guys were like thinking in sound bites. You understood how to be concise, how to be clear. The idea of building a brand, which like every person is sort of a brand in some ways, is so clear to you guys. I think that's not just a therapy.
00:29:19
Speaker 3: Though.
00:29:20
Speaker 1: I have a hot take on boundaries.
00:29:21
Speaker 2: What do you think I don't love them, Okay.
00:29:25
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times when you are thinking about putting up a boundary, you're not coming from a place of love. Gary Zukov talks about it, and he can say it much more eloquently than I can. Listen. If something is super toxic or violent, that's not included. But like I tried putting up boundaries with my mom, and I have to tell you, I'm way happier just having things roll off my shoulder and laughing and being like, you're so nuts, I love you, instead of putting the boundary up and then being mad and not talking for a little.
00:29:56
Speaker 3: I think we use like therapy talk as like a which is quite literally the opposite of like what you're supposed to be doing. I think boundaries have a place, and I think they're good in areas. I really do think we just have become too self focused and we don't prioritize our relationship with other people nearly as much as we should. Showing up in actually having long lasting friendships and relationships in close family relationships does come at a cost, Like you do have to make sacrifices, you do have to be uncomfortable, you do have to put your stuff on the back burner.
00:30:29
Speaker 2: I don't think it's just bounding.
00:30:30
Speaker 3: I think it's therapy speak in general, and I think it's really weaponized in order to like validate our emotions versus actually like process them and work through it and get to the other side. I think instead, more often than not, what's happening is that people are using their therapists and their therapy speak to like reiterate their point that they're right and everyone else is wrong around them. I think that's really what's happening, and I think it's detrimental to our relationships. And that's why we have this like loneliness epidemic because people are not willing to be a friend. They want all of it, but they don't want to do it themselves.
00:31:04
Speaker 1: So interesting you say that, I saw this woman Moe Digs put up a video where she said that when you see a woman who's like throwing a dinner or any event and you see a lot of people show up, know that that's a woman who has shown up a lot of times, who has said no to herself sometimes in order to say yes to other people. And I do think that's the case sometimes.
00:31:27
Speaker 3: And I think you just have to find the right people to show up for so it doesn't feel like it's a cost.
00:31:32
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:31:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you can't do that for everyone in your life. So like there is a quote boundary when it comes to like certain people.
00:31:39
Speaker 1: Who are just not the inner circle.
00:31:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that that's what it is. I think with their inner circle, it's of course like in good health. But I think that the conversation needs to here on like showing up for people and being there and being a friend versus like how to have boundaries.
00:31:53
Speaker 2: Also, people aren't perfect. Let's like relax a little bit.
00:31:56
Speaker 1: I feel like you go with your gut, like you go with your intuition a lot. How do you determine what's intuition versus what's anxiety?
00:32:04
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this has been the question I've asked myself my entire life.
00:32:07
Speaker 2: I think one of them is louder for me.
00:32:10
Speaker 3: What I've realized is that for so long, I was so busy listening to everyone else's voice in my life and not my own, and I didn't even have like a relationship with myself. I didn't know what I wanted because I'd relied on everyone else to tell me. So I started spending a lot of time alone. I started journaling. Even when I was obsessed with self help, I was still listening to all the outside voices. So I had to almost like try a little less and just get quiet and get to know my voice better or like what I believe to be like God's voice or whatever. I had to spend time alone and get to know myself to even understand that. I also kind of want to say it's like ones out of fear and the other one isn't. But I think fear and being scared or different, Like I think anxiety is out of fear. You can have a gut feeling and be nervous, and you can be scared. But I think when you're making a decision out of fear, you're making it out of like feeling insecure.
00:33:02
Speaker 2: I don't think there's.
00:33:03
Speaker 3: Like one easy blanket answer, but I do think a lot of it comes from like getting quiet.
00:33:07
Speaker 2: I think a lot of our.
00:33:08
Speaker 3: Answers in life come from like just being quiet with yourself, which is the last thing that any of us want to do.
00:33:13
Speaker 2: So it's not the fun answer, but I think for me that's what's.
00:33:16
Speaker 1: Worked me too. That's why, like we always get good ideas in the car and the shower. It's not like a coincidence. It's places where we either don't have our phone or we're quiet. Yeah, friend of Mine feels like such a natural extension of your aesthetic and your values. What was the first seed of the idea?
00:33:33
Speaker 3: I had wanted to do a recipe journal for like the podcast merch years ago, and I kept saying, like we need to do recpee journals. We need to do recipe journals, and like with merch, you can't really just create a full product.
00:33:45
Speaker 2: That's not really how that works.
00:33:46
Speaker 1: So what's a recipe journal.
00:33:48
Speaker 2: It's a journal for recipes, so like you fill in your own recipe.
00:33:51
Speaker 1: Oh cool.
00:33:51
Speaker 3: So that was like our very first product and that's what I really wanted to do. And over time then I got really into hosting and I really want like a tabletop line. There was just so many things, and then as time went on, I started to.
00:34:06
Speaker 2: Think, this is a brand. This isn't just like a single merch product.
00:34:09
Speaker 3: So it really started from there, and I had a brand before that we had shut down. And looking back now, if I could tell myself, like I knew that it wasn't what I was supposed to be doing, but I was people pleasing, which is so unlike me. I'm not a people The day it launched, I was like, I just don't think this is the right fit.
00:34:27
Speaker 2: And again it goes back to I just thought I was nervous.
00:34:30
Speaker 3: I thought I was just afraid because I couldn't tell if it was anxiety or if it was a gut feeling, and I felt like it was anxiety. The whole time. Looking back now, I now see that it was a gut feeling. We did that for about a year and then we just wanted different things, so we ended up shutting that down. And literally the day that we closed that company, or we decided that we were going to close, I had one thousand ideas and I was like alive again, and I was so excited, and I'd already contacted so many people about logos and brandings and websites.
00:34:58
Speaker 2: I just like knew that that was when I was to do.
00:35:00
Speaker 3: But looking back, that was my biggest lesson and like that was an anxiety, that was a gut feeling, but I was ignoring myself because I didn't want to disappoint people around me, which is not their fault.
00:35:10
Speaker 2: Like that was completely me. But now I know.
00:35:14
Speaker 1: Now you know that you're Martha Stewart.
00:35:16
Speaker 5: No, and now like I want to be Martha Stewart.
00:35:31
Speaker 1: What's been the most unexpected challenge to launching a brand?
00:35:35
Speaker 2: I don't even think anything unexpected.
00:35:37
Speaker 3: I think it's just hard, Like it's so hard, it's so hard, and it wasn't something that I didn't know going into it.
00:35:44
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of something.
00:35:45
Speaker 1: I shouldn't say it's so hard it takes everything out of you.
00:35:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that because I don't feel like what I'm doing is killing me, because it's like giving me energy because I love it. But it's not an easy thing. But I think that just shows like I'm doing what I meant to be doing. And I feel the way about all of my friends who are entrepreneurs. It's like the hours and the amount of like blood, sweat and tears, and I'm financing all of it, like all my money. Everything comes back to me like if we're not paying. It's a lot of like mental energy. But I just love it so much that I don't feel dreamed from it.
00:36:19
Speaker 1: When I launched Question Everything, I only ordered two hundred card games because I was so nervous no one would buy them. And I thought, well, at least I could sell two hundred to friends and family. I know two hundred people that could buy a card game, I think. And on Shopify, which is a website where you sell things, you can see all the orders that come in, and so I go live. I put the video up on Instagram and you hear the little.
00:36:41
Speaker 2: King kuching like those things.
00:36:43
Speaker 1: It's the best sound on shopify right, and I look to see who bought them. First of all, my mom didn't buy one, none of my family members bought them, none of my good friends bought them. The first I would say thirty to forty people who bought were female entrepreneurs, some of them that I knew well, some that I didn't know all. And I knew in that moment why they bought the card game, and it was because they knew how hard it was to do anything, you know, and they had respect. So now when anybody I know launches anything, even if I don't want it, I'll gift it Sam I'm their first fire.
00:37:16
Speaker 3: I buy anything anyone launches, like I am always buying it. I feel that it's never the people closest to you that are really like the most supportive with your business. It's always the people who are like almost like two people remove. Yeah, like not so close, but they are the most supportive, especially people who understand building a small business. I have this hosting closet that's like this really really extra closet where I keep all of.
00:37:39
Speaker 2: Myself to host. In this closet, it's wallpaper.
00:37:42
Speaker 3: By the way, I have a cookbook wall and I keep like recipe journals there, and I keep a bunch of cookbooks.
00:37:47
Speaker 2: And I saw that I had like.
00:37:50
Speaker 3: A Wishbone kitchen cookbook and it was like a paper cookbook.
00:37:53
Speaker 2: And I'm like, when did I get that? I happen to see because she just launched a new cookbook.
00:37:57
Speaker 3: She made a video saying forever ago I published my own cookbook.
00:38:01
Speaker 2: I bought five hundred copies.
00:38:03
Speaker 3: I did it on TikTok, and like, now it's so crazy because now I'm doing this whole cookbook and I'm so excited about it.
00:38:07
Speaker 2: Now She's a New York Times bestsellert launch last week. I don't even know her about.
00:38:10
Speaker 3: The way the people literally never spoken and so I guess years ago I didn't connect the doss with that was her cause I wasn't like actively following.
00:38:17
Speaker 2: At that point.
00:38:18
Speaker 3: I just saw this girl on TikTok with this cookbook and I bought it. But like that is a female entrepreneur, Like you are just constantly buying things because like I've sold so much products in the past, Like I understand it.
00:38:29
Speaker 2: So I am like the first to.
00:38:31
Speaker 1: Buy yep, always always. I don't know a lot about hosting the only things I know are from Prea Parker's book The Art of Gathering. She taught me that it's not good to be a lazy host, which I think I used to be in the past because I thought I was a chill host. Okay, I thought I was.
00:38:47
Speaker 2: Like, where whatever you want, I don't care where you sit.
00:38:50
Speaker 1: And Priya Parker taught me no, like rules are actually a gift to people when you're hosting. What is your best lazy girl hosting tip?
00:38:58
Speaker 2: A theme?
00:38:59
Speaker 3: I think theme saves to day and it makes people get so much more involved in it. Most recently, I've been going through and hosting a dinner party to every Nancy Meyers movie and it's been so fun because people come and they dress up as characters. And I say lazy because like it is lazy, Like you have a theme and then everything is kind of set for you.
00:39:18
Speaker 2: It makes it easier on you, makes it easier on the guest.
00:39:21
Speaker 3: And we actually started with Christmas time. During Christmas, I did a dinner party that was a holiday theme, which is my favorite movie ever, and it was so fun, like all of us came dressed up as like different characters and we had like Christmas Betta.
00:39:33
Speaker 2: Chini and I had Aveline wine because that's Cameron Tino's's wine.
00:39:36
Speaker 3: Like it was so fun and it does feel like you're going the extra step, but really it's lazy because everything's planned for you. Like you actually have like structure, and your guests are more likely to get into.
00:39:47
Speaker 2: It when they have a theme.
00:39:49
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that you have a template almost literally.
00:39:51
Speaker 3: We actually on the front of my website we have one hundred hosting theme ideas that you can just like download because I'm so aboptionate about themes, Like it makes it so much easier, especially when you're in your twenties, Like your friends don't really know how to be a guest. Like you can tell who grew up in like a southern home or like a mom that hosts based on like when they're coming out, like immediately, I can tell, but they don't really like, Oh tell me, they're bringing a host of skifts. Okay, they're saying thank you so much, they're bringing things. They'll never just show up. They're always on time. I never really cared about that.
00:40:20
Speaker 2: This is something I like to do. But you can tell like.
00:40:22
Speaker 1: Immediately, like always, what's your favorite host of skiff.
00:40:26
Speaker 3: Okay, I personally like love a candle because I'm always burning candles.
00:40:31
Speaker 1: I love an olive oil.
00:40:32
Speaker 3: I love love it all oil. I think Friend of Mine's a perfect toasting gifts. Actually those are the best, but I think olive oil. And I also love flowers, like I love getting flowers.
00:40:40
Speaker 2: That's nice, So I think that those are sweet.
00:40:42
Speaker 3: I heard Ina Garden say this once, and I think it's such a good tip when it comes to hosting gift.
00:40:46
Speaker 2: Don't bring anything.
00:40:48
Speaker 3: As a gift that you were running out and served that night, because it's an extra responsibility on the host and it's like ruining kind of like they're like function unless you bring it and it's already plated and ready to go and you don't even needs to grab anything from them. I think true good hostess gift is something that they are.
00:41:05
Speaker 2: Going to use later.
00:41:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with you. Something Martha Stewart taught you.
00:41:12
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean literally everything.
00:41:15
Speaker 3: She is such a trailblazer and just does not care, like truly truly does not care and just like does whatever she wants. I think Martha Stewart has just taught me, in probably millions of other women, like how to evolve because she published her first cookbook at forty one. It was not a cookbook, it was an entertaining book, and used to work on Wall Street. She left, she started a catering business, then she launched this book, and then I mean, you know, she's had prison time, she had many different eras, and like she's consistently evolving and evolving with the times, and I just love that. Like, I feel like she's at the peak of her career eighty, which is incredible, and.
00:41:54
Speaker 2: She doesn't let like age.
00:41:55
Speaker 3: Or anything take her out, Like she's just going till the end of time, which I really respect and I think is very cool because especially as women, you feel like you have like a ticking clock, whether it's fertility or age that you can be on camera or whatever it is.
00:42:08
Speaker 2: And like Martha has defied all those.
00:42:09
Speaker 3: Odds, and I just think that's so cool, especially she's so ahead of her time for that.
00:42:15
Speaker 2: I love that.
00:42:15
Speaker 1: You love older women so much.
00:42:17
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with them, Yeah, literally obsessed.
00:42:20
Speaker 1: Finish this sentence. The older I get, the more I realize I know nothing a book that changed your life something you think everybody should read.
00:42:27
Speaker 3: The Gap and The Gain, The what the gap and the gain. I've never had a chancel of that. It's amazing. It's amazing if you are an Enneagram three and over achiever, first daughter, and it talks about why you never feel like you're doing enough or achieving enough or producing enough or whatever. Like it teaches you how to live from the gain versus the gap. It's so good, incredible.
00:42:45
Speaker 1: As an oldest daughter, I need to read. Okay, one thing every woman should try once.
00:42:50
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, what would you say?
00:42:53
Speaker 1: An incredible love affair, Like even if it's for a weekend.
00:42:56
Speaker 2: I agree.
00:42:57
Speaker 3: I think you should, like go to Europe and just like have a time, just have a time, just have a time. I'm trying to think of something I've actually done. I think spending an extended period of time. It doesn't even necessarily have to be a move, but like, if you really like a location, I think just spending a month there, Like maybe you fall in love, just do something by yourself, Like I think that a month alone will change your life.
00:43:16
Speaker 1: I like that you said alone time. You can even do it if you're in a relationship with somebody totally, but like go for two weeks to a different location alone, yeah, yeah, okay, grab the question everything card game, pick a card.
00:43:28
Speaker 3: Okay, what's your all time most memorable meal. I'm shockingly not a foodie. Isn't that insane because I love.
00:43:35
Speaker 1: Cooking, Okay, but I don't actually mean the food.
00:43:38
Speaker 2: That's a dinner.
00:43:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the vibe which feels so right for you.
00:43:42
Speaker 3: I hosted this dinner party once and it was last summer. I always had like a Nancy Meyer's playlist in the background. It was like a summer theme when we're talking. And it was a really small, intimate group of girls. I love to invite people over that I don't know, like, I think it's really cool to get like recommendations from other people.
00:43:59
Speaker 2: I think it just makes like hosting so much more fun.
00:44:01
Speaker 3: These were all girls that i'd really kind of just met, and they're all telling the stories about how they met their husband and they're significant others or crazy things that have happened in their life. And one of them was telling this like beautiful story. It was an insane story of how she met her husband. And as she's telling the story, the music it all like movie scoring. It's getting louder and louder. It's like as she's telling this like beautiful story. The music's in the backgroundight, like literally felt like you were in a movie. I think about that, like every time I my dining.
00:44:26
Speaker 2: In it was crescendoing.
00:44:27
Speaker 3: Yes, it was so crazy and it really felt like it was a movie.
00:44:31
Speaker 2: I definitely have a better one that's like more like life teaching.
00:44:33
Speaker 1: All though, that was a perfect answer.
00:44:35
Speaker 4: You don't need another one.
00:44:49
Speaker 1: Throw the cards back, and we're going to play a game called host with the Most. Okay, I'm going to name a hosting situation. You have to answer really fast. What would you either do, serve or say? Okay, okay. You're hosting a last minute dinner party. What's your go to.
00:45:03
Speaker 2: Dish in a garden? Engagement Chicken?
00:45:05
Speaker 1: Three people dead are alive that you'd see at your dream dinner table.
00:45:09
Speaker 3: Dolly Parton, Martha Stewart in a garden. But I would put Martha and I on all of a sudden, Actually no, I wouldn't. I put them together make it more entertaining.
00:45:17
Speaker 1: You're curating a playlist. What's song number one?
00:45:20
Speaker 3: Anything on a Nancy Meyer's playlist? Like I'm always playing Nancy Meyer's playlist and they haven Nancy Myers playlist. By the way, for everything, bridal showers, parties, bachelorettes, there's music morning like all of it.
00:45:31
Speaker 1: What's one thing that instantly elevates a table, dim lit candles, a hosting ick, people who flay right before? What's your signature drink?
00:45:39
Speaker 3: I've recently gotten really into an ininegarden Cosmo, which I was not into them before.
00:45:45
Speaker 1: Okay, this works exactly for you because you just did this. You're in charge of a bridal shower activity. What are you doing?
00:45:51
Speaker 3: I think showers in general are like pretty chuggy like and they're not very fine then like chegi is a chegy word now I understand that, but there's no other way to describe that. No, I agree, and like, no one actually has fun as a showers. I think we should like ban showers and do dinner parties and just change it as a whole. I'm meant, please, I'm like throwing a baby shower right now, and we're like having the hardest time.
00:46:11
Speaker 2: There's definitely like cute things here.
00:46:13
Speaker 1: Baby showers are easier. Bridal showers are really hard to make fun and not choogy.
00:46:18
Speaker 3: They're literally so hard and also wires in the middle of the dam. I'm so tired, and then you have to have bright lighting. They're just not fun to do.
00:46:25
Speaker 1: Clean up as people are there? Do you wait till everyone's gone?
00:46:27
Speaker 2: I wait till everyone's gone. It's rude to start cleaning before.
00:46:30
Speaker 3: It's different when people because I have friends who will just stay for hours, so like please just like help me clean, Like that's one thing.
00:46:35
Speaker 2: But I wait for.
00:46:36
Speaker 3: Everyone to leave before because once you start cleaning, that's a sign that you want them to leave, and like I don't want them to leave, so you shouldn't do that.
00:46:43
Speaker 1: Is there like an etiquette book?
00:46:44
Speaker 2: I would say the art of gathering is one like you don't want your dinner party to end.
00:46:48
Speaker 3: By like nine pm. I hate when I spend like a week on a dinner party. I'm doing this whole thing, and then a friend is like, I'm tired. All right, guys, we're done, and it's like you're done, not everyone else. I just think it's so rude, Like I.
00:46:58
Speaker 2: Think that's such a faux pa. I hate it.
00:47:01
Speaker 3: I think it is so rude, Like it actually makes me so angry. I'm like, I've spent all this time, Like you don't want a dinner party to end by nine, Like that's not the sign of a good dinner party. But like one person can ruin it, Like one person can be like I'm leaving, we should all go because like they don't want to miss out on something.
00:47:16
Speaker 2: Like that is so rude. Trys me insane.
00:47:19
Speaker 1: Okay, this is a podcast speed round. This is social only, no overthinking, fast answers already. What's the worst thing someone can do on the mic e best icebreaker question?
00:47:30
Speaker 3: You know, what is a question that I like? It's not really an icebreaker, but I think like best purchase you've made under fifty dollars in the past month, And that's such a fun one.
00:47:38
Speaker 1: It's a good tim Ferris okay. Most underrated podcast guest trait someone who like answers beyond the question. I think is like the best kind of guest you can get.
00:47:46
Speaker 2: So when you're interviewing.
00:47:47
Speaker 3: Them and they answer and they're just like smiling at the end, it's like make it more of a conversation, loosen up a little bit, you know.
00:47:51
Speaker 1: I agree, like yes, anding, yes, Okay. Most overused podcast phrase that you hear probably everything that I say.
00:47:58
Speaker 3: Everyone's been asking. It's more of an influencer thing, but probably.
00:48:03
Speaker 1: That your personal podcast pet peeve.
00:48:06
Speaker 3: I hate when someone has a guest on and they ask all the same questions if they've been ask a million times, Like if you're asking a question you can google, like, you should not be doing that.
00:48:14
Speaker 1: One guest that made you totally rethink something.
00:48:17
Speaker 3: Susie Welch your go to listen World Tres's podcast my all time favorite.
00:48:21
Speaker 2: I've like never missed an episode.
00:48:22
Speaker 1: Okay, one more host thing is this is just social this or that charcouterie board or full sit down meal, full sit down meal, game night or deep conversation.
00:48:31
Speaker 3: Deep conversation, please my god, man game nights unless it's Mojong.
00:48:35
Speaker 1: Gold flatware or vintage silver, vintage silver, wine and records, or Espresso Martinis in a playlist.
00:48:42
Speaker 2: Now espresso Martini is in a playlist host with a plan or host on vibes host with a plan.
00:48:48
Speaker 1: Take your shoes off or leave them on.
00:48:50
Speaker 3: Because I personally don't care at all that people have shoes on, but I think it's more comfortable and people take them off.
00:48:56
Speaker 1: Fresh flowers or candle overload, kindle overload, instagram lebill set up or cozy chaos.
00:49:02
Speaker 2: It's turo will set up. I guess Cosey chaos is just like you being a lazy host. And as we know from the art of gathering, you don't want that.
00:49:09
Speaker 1: No, you don't want to be a chill host.
00:49:10
Speaker 2: You know what. I love that she said in that book.
00:49:12
Speaker 3: Tell me, I am gonna misquote it, as I do literally everything that anyone's ever said in their life. She talks earlier on in the book about how you actually need to be exclusive and not invite everyone. I have noticed in myself that I've done at the service to my guests many times by inviting either too many people or being too welcoming, and I should have curated the crowd a little bit better. And I've learned that now at his table that I have handcrafted and the people that are invited are invited for a reason because I think that like one of them would like the other person, or they could learn something from each other, or they're in similar field, or they read similar books. Like who I invite to each dinner party is like a perfectly crafted thing, and I will not be inviting to everyone to everything anymore, because I think that that is like a side of a lazy host and I've been a lazy host.
00:49:56
Speaker 1: I don't think it's lazy because I think you and I share this. We don't like people feeling left out. Yeah, and so it's a more like a come one, come all. But when you're hosting a specific theme, it's hard.
00:50:08
Speaker 3: Totally and it makes people just like not as committed to like the night because they're like, oh, come and go, and it's like, no, it's not come and go, it's see to dinner at seven thirty. Like I said, Yo, Like I'm really jellou swear, how do you really feel? That's the only time that I'm like actually uptight because it's disrespectful of everyone else's time.
00:50:25
Speaker 2: Like that's what makes me mad.
00:50:32
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day. To have a good day. I'll see you next week.