WEBVTT
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She's out.
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You can see it over there, Dad.
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My belly on the screen.
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I just didn't know if I wanted to really bring it out today.
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I was a little nervous.
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I was a little self-conscious.
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I'm still getting used to having a belly.
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And it's an interesting thing when you catch yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh, who, who and what is that?
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Yeah.
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And so I just didn't really know about how I was going to feel about having my belly out.
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But then you, of course, talked me off the ledge, as one does 47 times a week.
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Um 48.
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And yeah, you were talking about how it's great to see pregnant ladies.
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Like people celebrate pregnant ladies, you know, and they celebrate someone who's embarking on that journey.
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And they want to be around that.
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And it's like a really cool phase of life.
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And I do feel that, but sometimes that's not the narrative that we hear as much, if that makes sense.
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Yeah.
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You mean like less people are stoked about kids?
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I guess.
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It seems like less people are stoked about kids, are they?
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I think so.
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I think we're having a population issue.
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I mean, I play drums in a rock band.
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I'm not like a I don't know, expert on the subject, but but yeah, I mean, I think I've seen some recent recent polling, and I mean shit, you can't trust anything you see online these days, anyways, but like it seems like most women are not really concerned or interested in having kids.
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Mm-hmm.
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Or a lot of them, maybe.
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Yeah.
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More so than the than prior.
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Right.
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Yeah, it seems like at least from the things that I've seen, and who knows, but it just seems like men are more interested in having children than women are.
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Which isn't it, that's true.
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That's not good because men can't do the they can't do the babying.
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So Yeah.
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You know?
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I have a little bit of a theory on that.
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I think it's because our society, we have pumped up women, which is a it has a good thing, but it also has a dark side to be like these boss bitches.
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Like you need to grind, you need hustle culture, be a boss bitch.
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You don't need no man, you don't need any of this.
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Like you can do it all on yourself.
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Cool.
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Some of that is like a good message, like go chase the thing that you want to chase.
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But then if somebody wants babies, then it's like, oh, wait a minute.
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So I have to do, I have to run a company, I have to run a household, I have to have a baby, and I have to bear that baby.
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So I have to do all of that.
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And it's just that's unreal.
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I'm gonna say it.
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I think it's unrealistic to put that much pressure and that much, like, what's the word I'm looking for?
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Just that much on somebody.
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No wonder you wouldn't want to have a baby.
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Like, that's way too much for somebody to carry all the time, 24-7.
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You have to show up and be this Bosch Bitz hustler, and you have to be mama and you have to be a wife.
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Yeah.
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And a good partner.
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Like, how the hell are you gonna do that?
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That's a lot.
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Yeah.
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You're gonna lack in some areas and you're gonna stress yourself out.
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And then even with the whole boss bitch movement, there is this burnout.
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You're gonna hit burnout at some point, regardless if it's in your career, your family, or with your partner, if you're pushing that hard all the time.
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Yeah.
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I this is this could get touchy real quick, and I don't really want to get into like a dividing kind of conversation.
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Did I just piss a lot of people off?
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No.
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No, you said what you mean, and I and I I agree with it.
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I'm not saying that it can't be done.
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I'm just saying I think that's probably one of the reasons why women are questioning having kids.
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Right.
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Because they have so much more responsibility.
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Yes.
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And I think a lot of that came from it started as in a good place, but I think a lot of that comes from uh women want wanting to do what men do.
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Um which you know, if that's your choice, if that's what you want to do, then then go for it.
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But there's like a there's like a marketing behind it now.
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It's almost like changing people's minds that no, I want to do what men do.
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Well, men do what men do because they can't do what women do.
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And no one's talking about that really.
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Like you have a superpower, you can grow a human in your belly.
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Like men don't have that.
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We have whatever the hell we do, you know what I mean?
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Building shit, inventing stuff or whatever, like, but we do that all for women because you can you continue the species.
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So, like for the sake of humanity, you need to have babies and we need to protect and provide for you.
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Um, but that's not the narrative that we see in a lot of uh society.
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We see a narrative that is well, like boss bitch, you know what I mean?
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Like women are out there working big jobs that are all consuming and take all their time, and they don't have the time to make babies if they're doing that.
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And if that's their choice, then that's totally fine.
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And you know, like I I do support that.
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Well, there's some women that absolutely love that, yeah, exactly.
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So more powered too.
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And like, God bless America, you can do whatever the fuck you want here.
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Yeah.
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But also, if you if the masses is being marketed this mentality and um and everyone starts doing it, then no one's having babies.
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And then we're gonna start dying out eventually.
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You know, it's like a no one sees it immediately.
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It's not an eminent problem.
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This is like, you know, two generations from now kind of situation, but it's still a situation.
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Yeah.
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And I mean, because we have this conversation this week because I had like a meltdown pretty much when it was coming to like how we see or how okay, how I saw productivity within pregnancy.
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And that was a hard one for me because I am that person who kind of identified as the hyper-independent boss bitch girl who like does the things that I'm scared of, does the things that I say I'm going to do.
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And what's probably one of the reasons why I didn't want kids my entire life because I thought they were gonna make my life smaller and not make my life bigger.
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So I was like, I don't, I don't want them.
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Why they're gonna hold me back.
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Now I'm pregnant, and I've said this before multiple times.
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I can't believe I ever felt that way.
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Like your brain clicks, it rewires itself.
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You're not thinking the same way that you were before you got pregnant.
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It's the craziest thing.
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And so I'm still running off of this botch boss bitch.
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I need to be hyper ambitious mindset while being pregnant.
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And like there was a big rub for me, and it was stressing me out to the gills.
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Like I could not enjoy anything, it felt like.
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I just always felt like I was behind, and I wasn't seeing building a baby and like creating life as productive.
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I was, I was still garnering a lot of my self-worth, am still garnering a lot of my self-worth, even though I'm working on it, from what I produce, what I create, what money I bring in, and not what my superpower inherently is, which is creation of another human.
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Yeah.
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I think uh you were kind of downplaying your ability to make another human.
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Like it it wasn't that big of a deal, like yeah, I mean I'm doing it, but I could be doing all these other things.
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It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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You're doing that.
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That's a big deal.
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Right?
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Like you're not just you know, feeling unproductive because you the only thing you did today was clean the kitchen.
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Yeah, the only thing you did you did today was you grew toes.
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What?
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Like that's crazy.
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And I can't do it.
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So you know what I mean?
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Maybe we're not all that equal in that in that regard, and maybe we should celebrate our differences a little bit, you know?
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Yeah.
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Let me stress out because the only thing I did today was was clean the kitchen.
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I should have been more productive, I should have brought more food home, I should have brought more money home to feed the family.
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Let me stress about that.
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That's my job.
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You shouldn't stress.
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You you're I mean, your day-to-day, you don't really do a lot um for pregnancy.
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It kind of just is like on autopilot.
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Yeah.
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But that's still a big deal, you know, especially like when you hit pregnancy brain and you're like, I can't think straight today or whatever.
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Like, there's a reason for that.
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Man, I got pregnancy brain.
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Yeah, the first trimester was rough for you.
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Oh, I think I'm getting it worse now.
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Really?
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I was going somewhere yesterday and I missed three exits.
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I added 30 minutes to where I was supposed to go.
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And I pride myself on like knowing where to go and when to go and like getting in there as quickly as humanly possible, but safe.
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Like I am efficient.
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I miss three exits.
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Ugh.
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So frustrating.
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Also, we have this thing called like relax something rather, relaxant.
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I don't know what it's called, but you also start dropping things a lot more.
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And so I wake up much earlier than you, and I get up and I'm trying to be quiet, and I I can't, for the life of me, keep a single thing in my hands.
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Really?
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Yeah, it's annoying.
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So I feel like I have a pregnancy brain.
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Is that a common thing?
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Dropping things?
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This relaxant.
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Yeah, you have to do it.
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It relaxed so you can give birth, it relaxes your muscles and your ligaments.
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Oh wow, so it's like a like a precursor to birth, your body's like prepping for it.
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Yeah, like how you make more blood, you also make this thing to help you relax your body and be able to stretch.
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Oh, they don't like when I was at prenatal Pilates, they were talking about not doing like very fast twitch movements because you can pull a muscle really easily.
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Oh.
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Hey, in post, can we put like a star and a rainbow over her head and it just says more the more you know?
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Ready?
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Yeah, I mean, pregnancy classes with Whitney.
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I'm like, what's that thing?
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It's called like relax, relaxant, relaxer, yeah.
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You know, that thing that your body releases with Whitney.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Don't listen to me.
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Seriously, I'm just flying blind because no one tells you what's going on going on in pregnancy.
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It is crazy.
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Can we talk about something that we watched over the weekend?
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Yeah.
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The manosphere.
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Oh, yeah.
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It was kind of cringy.
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Kind of cringy?
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It's kind of cringy.
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It was astronomically cringy.
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Cringe mode initiated to the max.
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I just, I don't know.
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We have to talk about it because it goes into like masculinity and we were already talking about femininity and like people's roles and whatever.
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Yeah.
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But like honestly, my thing first and foremost, before we get into this, you this is like a 22, 20, a lot of them are 22, 23-year-old dudes whose frontal lobe isn't even fully formed.
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You've hardly lived any life.
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You're probably just out of mama and daddy's house, and you're telling people how to be a man.
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You're a child.
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You look like you're 12.
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You think those are big muscles?
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They can't even get big enough yet because you're not a man enough yet.
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Okay.
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A lot of them are on all kinds of stuff too.
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Like TRC.
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Well, that's gonna be great for them later on in life.
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Yeah.
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When they realize what masculinity and manhood is because they lived long enough to get there.
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Yeah.
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You know, I really actually loved the the guy who put that documentary together.
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I loved him too.
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He did a great job.
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He really grew on me quite a bit.
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Um, and I I like what he touched on is that like there is this sort of um there's there is this growing how do I word this?
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I think there's a void of healthy masculinity being taught to young men in the world.
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There is a void being filled with young men that don't have the right idea of what masculinity is projecting what they think it is.
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And so that's why you're getting traditional values mixed in with um monogamous relationships and non-monogamous, you mean non-right, non-monogamous relationships where they're married, they have kids, but they also have multiple girl girlfriends.
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But they also have a one-sided monogamous relationship.
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Yeah, that's what I'm getting at, is that there's nothing really teaching men to be masculine and powerful, but also be um courteous and kind and chivalrous.
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It's almost like that died, and there's toxic masculinity um and nothing else.
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It's like it's almost like masculine is a bad thing.
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Feminism, feminism is a good thing, and everything that men does is is bad.
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But be this doesn't mean that men are gonna stop being men, they're just gonna go into the world with the wrong idea.
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And all the men that that he interviews, and we haven't even finished it, but I so far a lot of them grew up without fathers in a broken home.
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They're pretty young, successful entrepreneurs and just kind of scamming people, it seems.
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And I think there's something to be said for the way men used to be raised in very, very traditional families where you had multi-generational homes where you had an old man teaching a young boy how to be a man, a man that had lived his whole life, had learned all the wrongs, and already gone through all the hiccups, and he had good values to teach a young man.
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And when you have young men who haven't gone through that teaching young men how to be men, you have the blind lead and the blind.
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And he highlights a really massive issue we have in society.
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Masculinity doesn't have to be bad, just like where's the chivalry?
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Where's where's the like be the big strong man that opens doors and takes care of your people and is kind and polite, but could also fuck you up.
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Like, why doesn't that exist in in mass scale?
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I feel like that is what creates a strong society, you know?
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I absolutely agree.
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I think the reason why we don't see more of that is because it's not clickbaity and we live yeah, it's not extreme.
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They can't monetize it.
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And so I think these boys who are teaching about manhood um are saying things for shock factor, and they know that people are going to click on it, and the more people click on it, the more they get paid, and they all they want is to get paid, is to get paid.
00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:45.679
So, and this might be controversial.
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Some of the stuff in there isn't terrible advice.
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A lot of it is terrible, don't get me wrong, but they start off pretty good and then they just take it so extreme.
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You're like, oh yeah, I'm on board.
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Okay, yeah, like work for what you really want in life, don't expect the world to hand you things.
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Cool, I can totally get on board with that.
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And then they just they just make it bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.
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And you're like, whoa, bro, you really took it all way too far and just lost us all.
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Right.
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You know, you had me for the first half, yes.
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Um, and so some some of the information I think is really good and can help people because not all of it is just dumb.
00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:39.279
No, but it's mixed in there with also misleading stuff, and that's what people are watching more of because it gets more clicks, and then that's what these young children are following and learning how to be a man from.
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And it's so extreme.
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It's like learning how to have sex from porn.
00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:45.440
It's not, it's a performative.
00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:47.600
You're the sex expert.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:52.320
When you watch porn, it is not real, it's fake, it's performative.
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:59.759
They are they have the perfect lighting, the girls know where to put their hair, they know when to moan, they know when to do X, Y, and Z.
00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:09.839
They are trained to preform a certain way to get more clicks and to get that person to where they want to go the fastest way as humanly possible.
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:22.799
So if you're going to learn how to educate yourself on how to please a woman or yeah, please a woman with porn, you're behind the ball here, dude.
00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:24.160
You're really behind the ball.
00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:28.480
And it's also very male focused, you know.
00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:35.839
Um, God, I wish I knew the stat right now, but I think it's like 80% of women do not come from penetration alone.
00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:38.880
And that is what they show on porn.
00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:42.400
It's mainly P and the V constantly, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:43.440
She's freaking out.
00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:46.640
80% of women do not orgasm like that.
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:49.599
I mean, hello.
00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:53.039
Maybe we should start doing some other things here.
00:17:53.200 --> 00:18:00.400
And if you are trying to please your woman by only doing that, you're there's only 20% of people out there.
00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:06.720
And that doesn't not mean that all y'all are this big stallion who's nah, I'm the exception.
00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:08.000
I got my girl that way.
00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:10.480
Okay, probably not.
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:15.680
Anyways, that's my um it's my uh what's it called?
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:16.240
Rant.
00:18:16.559 --> 00:18:17.119
That was good.
00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:18.480
I didn't want to interrupt.
00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:30.240
And I did use to host a two sex and wild love podcast where we talk to many porn stars, by the way, and about this specific thing and porn directors.
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:32.400
So I'm not just pulling this out of my butt.
00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:32.960
Right.
00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:33.759
No, you're right.
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:36.799
It's totally it's made for the men that are watching it.
00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:38.640
Yes, and it's a play.
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:40.160
You're watching a play.
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:45.519
Might as well just go to like a Broadway porn show and be like, oh yeah, let her go.
00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:50.079
It's like watching a Jason Bourne movie and being like, oh yeah, I know how to fight somebody.
00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:50.960
Yeah.
00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:52.079
Really?
00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:54.319
I mean, listen, you could probably pick up some tips.
00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:54.720
Sure.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:55.680
Tips and tricks.
00:18:55.920 --> 00:19:00.160
Yeah, but then you're gonna go try to kill somebody with a pencil and it's just not gonna work out for you.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.200
That's funny.
00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:10.799
But yeah, anyways, to circle back, I do feel like that's how um the manosphere is is basically teaching masculinity.
00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:12.640
Yeah, it's unfortunate.
00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:14.400
I don't know what to do about it.
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:26.000
Some bitch about it, but if our unborn son, let's say he's 15 and he comes to you and he's like, like, what is a man?
00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:27.920
Like, what makes me a good man?
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:30.480
What would you tell him?
00:19:31.839 --> 00:19:33.759
Um, well, that I mean that's shit.
00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:38.720
That's assuming that we already haven't had this conversation a few times leading up to him being 15.
00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:39.839
Well, I mean, you know.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:48.559
I think well, I think it's hard to to tell a 15-year-old in one sentence or one conversation.
00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:56.400
I think it's about I think it's important to raise boys to be men.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:57.519
It's a slow burn.
00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:00.640
They have to they have to touch the stove to know it's hot.
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:04.240
They have to make mistakes and be corrected.
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:06.400
Because that's what that's what children do.
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:09.680
They they they test boundaries to to learn.
00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:18.240
Um but I it it really it's just about uh instilling the the principles that I I think makes a a good man.
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:26.640
Um I think that a good man should first and foremost be strong.
00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:29.279
I don't think that they're uh off there.
00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:32.640
I think teaching men to hit the gym is a really good thing.
00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:46.319
Um it's fucking fantastic for mental illness and it gives you um the ability to overcome doing hard things so you don't you know bitch out because life is hard.
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.960
So that's positive.
00:20:49.440 --> 00:21:02.880
Um but but I think also it's it teaches men to this manosphere thing teaches men to ignore um emotions.
00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:08.960
Um which is not necessarily a manosphere thing, it's it kind of goes way better.
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:10.720
Yeah, yeah.
00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:18.400
That's kind of a that's kind of a bigger issue that's getting folded into the manosphere, but you know, it's it's interesting that part.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:24.160
Um not to go too far off a tangent here, but men and women both have feelings.
00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:29.440
But growing up as a man, you're told that feelings are feminine.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:30.960
So don't feel them.
00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:32.400
But men feel them.
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:37.440
We get angry and sad and depressed and lonely and happy and all the things.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:45.039
But if you suppress those things and you don't know how to deal with them, you lack you know, uh emotional intelligence.
00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:51.279
So I think being a man is um being strong physically, but also being strong mentally as well.
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:56.240
That's a massive thing that is not really being taught to to kids.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:59.440
And like emotionally intelligent.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:10.880
You know, it's like I find it very attractive and being able to trust somebody when they say how they feel.
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:11.519
Right?
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:13.440
Because if I'm like, hey babe, how are you today?
00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:14.640
Like everything's fine.
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:18.240
And you don't ever really open up to me, we're not gonna go deep.
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:28.720
We're not gonna have we're gonna have a very superficial relationship, and that's going to make me not want to open up to you either.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:29.119
Yeah.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:30.880
So we can only go so far in that.
00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:39.839
And I think like really there's it is cliche, but it's like that quote of you know, vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's actually a strength.
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:40.640
Yeah.
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:43.839
And that's how I feel about men sharing their emotions.
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:47.519
It's a strength, it shows that you're strong, it doesn't show that you're weak.
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:48.319
Yeah.
00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:55.119
I I when I when I talk to a lot of my friends about um how something made me feel or or whatever.
00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:56.559
Guys don't talk about anything.
00:22:56.799 --> 00:22:57.839
They don't talk, no, they don't.
00:22:58.000 --> 00:22:59.759
Man, I can't get any anything.
00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:03.200
I feel so uh alone in that regard.
00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:03.839
Yeah.
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:05.440
A lot of my friends.
00:23:05.759 --> 00:23:09.279
Well, yes, because it's just normal to not talk about anything.
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:12.079
It's like, and I know girls all we all feel this.
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.839
We'd be like, you your friend breaks up with somebody, right?
00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:18.559
And then we're like, so what happened?
00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:19.200
Are they good?
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:24.720
Like, I mean, you just spent all day with them, and like no one, you get zero information.
00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:25.359
Like, I don't know.
00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:31.039
We talked about golf and and surfing, and then you know what what was broken on the car earlier.
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:40.880
And I'm like, how did you not just talk about the fact that he just ended his engagement of 47 years with somebody like you know what I mean?
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:55.119
I mean, but it's just like it doesn't matter how close you are to that person in a man group, it's so normal to not talk about the things that are plaguing them on the deepest level and just go straight for like, yeah, that the car stick.
00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:56.000
Yeah.
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.000
I'm like, how are you guys are you guys friends?
00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:04.960
They people become really good at at the like surface level bravado, like, hey, we'll stop, bro! And like they're really good at that.
00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:12.400
And then if you start talking to them about something deeper, you can kind of see it in their eyes, they're kind of just like searching for words and not really sure what to do.
00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:16.079
They're second-guessing themselves or worried about what other people are gonna think about them.
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:18.319
They use very simple language.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:21.920
Well, how do you think you got more comfortable talking about your feelings?
00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:26.400
Therapy.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:37.119
So, do you think you weren't super comfortable talking about it up to that point, and then you got into therapy and it and it shifted it for you, or do you feel like you've kind of always been more open to that?
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:40.960
No, I think I just didn't really know how to do it.
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:42.079
Oh, okay.
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:52.160
And um, I mean, we talked we talked about this on the last podcast, but you know, I had to become a broken version of myself and and seek help.
00:24:52.400 --> 00:25:09.599
Um, and when you're in a doctor's office with someone who's got a PhD in human emotions, you you you start to learn from them, like not saying I'm a therapist now or I have a PhD, but I think you're like an unofficial therapist.
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:12.400
Like to a lot of a lot of people I am, yeah.
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:13.440
It's crazy.
00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:16.480
His advice, he says things so much more eloquent than I do.
00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:22.720
I feel like I'm not talking about it, and he's like, And it makes total sense.
00:25:22.960 --> 00:25:25.359
Sometimes I'm exactly the the same way too.
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:27.359
Sometimes I'm a fucking dumbass.
00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:32.240
Everybody is ties into um confidence, you know.
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:43.680
Like if you're confident in a in a certain subject, like say we're talking about geopolitics and I know what the fuck I'm talking about, then I'm gonna be confident in entering that conversation.
00:25:43.759 --> 00:25:46.880
But we're talking about emotions and I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:49.759
I'm probably gonna avoid that conversation.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:53.759
I'm gonna say that I lack interest in that.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:26:00.319
Um, I might gaslight you to keep you away from from talking about if you keep pressing because I'm afraid to go there.
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:00.720
Yeah.
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:01.599
You know what I mean?
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:09.440
And I'm gonna validate it in my head that I don't I don't want to go there because it's not a fun subject to talk about.
00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:11.200
And so I don't want to talk about it.
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:14.640
No, it's probably not fun, but it's probably beneficial to you.
00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:20.160
Especially like if if we're talking about it because said person is hurting and needs some help.
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:26.319
But I mean, everyone's got their own way of doing things.
00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:27.279
Yeah.
00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:32.480
I mean, I feel like I feel like I even still have trouble talking about my emotions.
00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:34.880
I'm a a shutter downer, you know?
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:36.079
I like to You are?
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:38.079
Yeah, I like to avoid.
00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:40.079
That's my personal preference.
00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:42.079
You get never mind, I won't talk about that.
00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:42.960
I'd rather be happy.
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:45.519
He go there with me.
00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:48.559
Well, yeah, it's because I feel safe enough to go there with you.
00:26:48.799 --> 00:27:02.880
And but I wasn't always that way, you know, like, and I had a lot of practice of like forcing myself to talk about really uncomfortable situations like from my past open relationships and stuff.
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:03.839
I didn't have a choice.
00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:09.440
It was like I had to talk about the things that I didn't want to talk about on your podcast too, right?
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:10.880
Yeah, everywhere.
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:13.359
Yeah, all the time, everywhere, all the time.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:21.359
Even if I didn't understand it, like you were saying, I didn't have confidence in in talking about it because I didn't even understand my own emotions at that time.
00:27:21.519 --> 00:27:23.759
So I then I had to talk about it publicly.
00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:28.720
Trying to process it in real time in front of people is a trip.
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:30.079
Yeah, and that's really hard.
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:32.960
And then you know you're gonna get judged super hard on everything you say.
00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:34.160
Oh my god, for sure.
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:36.000
So then that's gonna hold you up.
00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:40.000
And so then you're not gonna really talk all that eloquently about it.
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:40.640
No.
00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:43.839
And so I think that was a big thing for me.
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:49.440
But even like my upbringing, it wasn't, you know, show your emotions all the time and learn how to talk about your emotions.
00:27:49.599 --> 00:28:02.480
It was just like move through them to just do the things that you need to do, which has helped me in life, but it also made me pretty prone to avoiding things a lot of the times.
00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:13.279
And so, yes, now I feel much more confident and safe in the relationship to speak what's going on within me.
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:18.799
Um, but that also doesn't mean that I that I feel 100% confident in it.
00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:27.279
Like a lot of the times I still feel insecure and I still doubt what's going on internally, but I know that, okay, I mean, we're married.
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:31.119
If I can't tell Ryan this, then what the fuck is going on?
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.000
You know, that's not the type of relationship that I want to have.
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:38.960
And I'm unwilling to do that because I feel like it's death by a thousand paper cuts.
00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:44.720
You keep doing that over and over and over again, and it's going to be a detriment to you, your relationship.
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:46.319
And that's the last thing that I want.
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:57.920
So I'd rather put myself in the uncomfortable situation to prove to myself that I can talk about it, bring us closer together, and probably strengthen our relationship in the process of that.
00:28:58.720 --> 00:28:59.599
Agreed.
00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:01.759
Oh God, I'm out of breath.
00:29:03.599 --> 00:29:04.480
It's crazy.
00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:05.759
I'll tell you what.
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:09.440
Everything men do is for women.
00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.480
I mean, uh, every straight man, I should say.
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:13.759
I was gonna say, like mainly.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:15.920
What about what about men with infidelity?
00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:18.640
Is that for women or is that for personal gain?
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:22.000
They they wish they didn't have infidelity.
00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:39.599
But I mean, and there's there's outliers, but there's what I'm taking, what I'm saying is a very generalized statement that everything a man does in the life in his life, once he grows out of his adolescence and becomes an adult, he's doing it for uh his partner.
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:48.880
If um if he's alone in life, everything he's doing is for nothing, and that makes him depressed.
00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:51.119
Male depression is through the roof.
00:29:51.359 --> 00:30:00.400
Um, yeah, what you were saying earlier, um, women have become stronger and smarter, and they have uh pushed away from needing men.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:15.920
And I think that was caused because when men had a shitload of power back in the madmen era, they unfortunately abused it and did not make women as precious as they should be.
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:32.559
Um, and so women have reacted like on a whole and pushed away from men, and men have been left feeling useless, and that's causing masculinity to spiral into a bad place, and it needs to be saved.
00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:50.160
I don't know if I'm the guy to do it, but I think like men should be masculine, they should be strong, they should be powerful and protect, and they should take care of shit, but they should also be respectful and gracious to women because without them, we're we're nothing.
00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:53.440
And without women, without men, women are nothing.
00:30:53.759 --> 00:31:00.000
They'll just die out if they don't, if they if they don't make babies, like the population will literally fucking cease to exist.
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:11.359
So it's about having that balance and that that gratitude for one another and acknowledging our differences that together we can thrive.
00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:14.960
But I don't think that's what's happening right now.
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:28.559
We're having a cause and effect, we're having women reacting to the way men used to be, and men are kind of lost and confused and desperate and seeking for some seeking some kind of answer to why they're feeling the way that they are.
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:34.319
And then this manosphere thing thing over here is like, well, I have the answers.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:39.680
Like, you know, fuck bitches, get money, do exactly what you want, take care of yourself.
00:31:39.839 --> 00:31:42.480
Um, and that's the wrong answer, too.
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:46.240
You know, it's there's there, I don't really know what to do about it.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:58.000
There's because there's good in bad, and you can't you can't expect a young man, a child, to pick through what all these guys are saying and say, like, well, I agree with this and I don't agree with that.
00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:01.279
They're gonna agree with all of it because they're lost and confused and depressed.
00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:05.839
They don't know how to communicate, they don't know how to talk to women, they don't have emotional intelligence.
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:14.559
The number one thing I hear from women is that men don't communicate across the board a hundred times, a hundred percent.
00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:23.039
It's like well, I guess if men learned how to communicate and learned how to talk about how they feel, then then then you would kind of that would kind of take care of things.
00:32:23.279 --> 00:32:38.079
So I don't know, I guess it just maybe it's just uh about normalizing um emotional intelligence, nor not normalizing talking about feelings and and things like that, and and and kind of creating that trend might help.
00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:58.000
Do you think like outside of therapy for men, are there like what would you recommend for someone to try to become better at this if they just let's say they didn't have access to therapy or they I don't know, don't have the money for it.
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:00.880
But they do, they have access to anything.
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:02.240
We live in the age of information.
00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:02.880
That's true.
00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:07.920
You have a phone, you know it's you could use social media for good, you could use it for bad.
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:12.079
You can look at, you know, basically porn on it.
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:17.039
Um, or you could follow pages that you know talk about this kind of thing.
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:23.039
I think that's really the big thing is just talking about it, being being open to learning something.
00:33:23.359 --> 00:33:30.640
If you if you think that you know everything about a subject and you're unwilling to be wrong, you stunt your growth.
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:37.200
You're no longer going to grow because you feel like you have grown as much as you can, which is impossible.
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:37.920
Right.
00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:41.200
I mean, BB King was taking guitar lessons until the day he died.
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:41.759
Right.
00:33:42.079 --> 00:33:45.279
So that's that's where I would start.
00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:48.880
It was just pick a pick a lane and go.
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:55.759
And then the more you do it, the more you start learning, and then you get curious about something else, you get curious about something else, and your tree grows.
00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:57.279
We're gonna roll on to the next episode.
00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:04.960
But if you liked this episode, subscribe, like, comment, rate, do all of the things because the algorithm gods listen to you.
00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:05.759
They don't listen to me.
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:07.200
So help your girl out.
00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:04.639
She's out.
00:00:04.719 --> 00:00:06.400
You can see it over there, Dad.
00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:08.640
My belly on the screen.
00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:11.119
I just didn't know if I wanted to really bring it out today.
00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:11.839
I was a little nervous.
00:00:11.919 --> 00:00:12.960
I was a little self-conscious.
00:00:13.039 --> 00:00:14.720
I'm still getting used to having a belly.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:22.800
And it's an interesting thing when you catch yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh, who, who and what is that?
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:23.359
Yeah.
00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:26.239
And so I just didn't really know about how I was going to feel about having my belly out.
00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:32.399
But then you, of course, talked me off the ledge, as one does 47 times a week.
00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:34.560
Um 48.
00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:41.759
And yeah, you were talking about how it's great to see pregnant ladies.
00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:48.880
Like people celebrate pregnant ladies, you know, and they celebrate someone who's embarking on that journey.
00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:50.240
And they want to be around that.
00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:53.359
And it's like a really cool phase of life.
00:00:53.679 --> 00:01:02.560
And I do feel that, but sometimes that's not the narrative that we hear as much, if that makes sense.
00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:03.439
Yeah.
00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:06.959
You mean like less people are stoked about kids?
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:08.719
I guess.
00:01:08.879 --> 00:01:11.760
It seems like less people are stoked about kids, are they?
00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:13.200
I think so.
00:01:13.519 --> 00:01:15.439
I think we're having a population issue.
00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:17.439
I mean, I play drums in a rock band.
00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:36.159
I'm not like a I don't know, expert on the subject, but but yeah, I mean, I think I've seen some recent recent polling, and I mean shit, you can't trust anything you see online these days, anyways, but like it seems like most women are not really concerned or interested in having kids.
00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:36.719
Mm-hmm.
00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:38.640
Or a lot of them, maybe.
00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:38.959
Yeah.
00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:42.079
More so than the than prior.
00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:42.640
Right.
00:01:42.799 --> 00:01:52.400
Yeah, it seems like at least from the things that I've seen, and who knows, but it just seems like men are more interested in having children than women are.
00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:54.480
Which isn't it, that's true.
00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:58.000
That's not good because men can't do the they can't do the babying.
00:01:58.159 --> 00:01:59.040
So Yeah.
00:01:59.280 --> 00:01:59.599
You know?
00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:01.200
I have a little bit of a theory on that.
00:02:01.359 --> 00:02:12.639
I think it's because our society, we have pumped up women, which is a it has a good thing, but it also has a dark side to be like these boss bitches.
00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:16.639
Like you need to grind, you need hustle culture, be a boss bitch.
00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:19.439
You don't need no man, you don't need any of this.
00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:21.280
Like you can do it all on yourself.
00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:21.840
Cool.
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:26.560
Some of that is like a good message, like go chase the thing that you want to chase.
00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:33.120
But then if somebody wants babies, then it's like, oh, wait a minute.
00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:41.520
So I have to do, I have to run a company, I have to run a household, I have to have a baby, and I have to bear that baby.
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:43.520
So I have to do all of that.
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:45.919
And it's just that's unreal.
00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:47.280
I'm gonna say it.
00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:55.919
I think it's unrealistic to put that much pressure and that much, like, what's the word I'm looking for?
00:02:56.159 --> 00:02:57.680
Just that much on somebody.
00:02:57.840 --> 00:02:59.599
No wonder you wouldn't want to have a baby.
00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:03.520
Like, that's way too much for somebody to carry all the time, 24-7.
00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:08.960
You have to show up and be this Bosch Bitz hustler, and you have to be mama and you have to be a wife.
00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:09.360
Yeah.
00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:10.560
And a good partner.
00:03:11.199 --> 00:03:12.879
Like, how the hell are you gonna do that?
00:03:13.039 --> 00:03:13.919
That's a lot.
00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:14.400
Yeah.
00:03:14.719 --> 00:03:17.599
You're gonna lack in some areas and you're gonna stress yourself out.
00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:21.680
And then even with the whole boss bitch movement, there is this burnout.
00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:31.120
You're gonna hit burnout at some point, regardless if it's in your career, your family, or with your partner, if you're pushing that hard all the time.
00:03:31.439 --> 00:03:32.080
Yeah.
00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:39.360
I this is this could get touchy real quick, and I don't really want to get into like a dividing kind of conversation.
00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:41.199
Did I just piss a lot of people off?
00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:41.759
No.
00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:45.840
No, you said what you mean, and I and I I agree with it.
00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:47.680
I'm not saying that it can't be done.
00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:54.240
I'm just saying I think that's probably one of the reasons why women are questioning having kids.
00:03:54.479 --> 00:03:54.800
Right.
00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:56.719
Because they have so much more responsibility.
00:03:56.960 --> 00:03:57.360
Yes.
00:03:57.520 --> 00:04:07.520
And I think a lot of that came from it started as in a good place, but I think a lot of that comes from uh women want wanting to do what men do.
00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:14.879
Um which you know, if that's your choice, if that's what you want to do, then then go for it.
00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:18.560
But there's like a there's like a marketing behind it now.
00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:22.639
It's almost like changing people's minds that no, I want to do what men do.
00:04:22.720 --> 00:04:25.600
Well, men do what men do because they can't do what women do.
00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:28.000
And no one's talking about that really.
00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:32.480
Like you have a superpower, you can grow a human in your belly.
00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:35.279
Like men don't have that.
00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:38.160
We have whatever the hell we do, you know what I mean?
00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:45.040
Building shit, inventing stuff or whatever, like, but we do that all for women because you can you continue the species.
00:04:45.839 --> 00:04:52.560
So, like for the sake of humanity, you need to have babies and we need to protect and provide for you.
00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:58.160
Um, but that's not the narrative that we see in a lot of uh society.
00:04:58.319 --> 00:05:03.839
We see a narrative that is well, like boss bitch, you know what I mean?
00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:15.120
Like women are out there working big jobs that are all consuming and take all their time, and they don't have the time to make babies if they're doing that.
00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:17.680
And if that's their choice, then that's totally fine.
00:05:17.759 --> 00:05:20.000
And you know, like I I do support that.
00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:23.360
Well, there's some women that absolutely love that, yeah, exactly.
00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:24.639
So more powered too.
00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:27.920
And like, God bless America, you can do whatever the fuck you want here.
00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:28.720
Yeah.
00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:41.920
But also, if you if the masses is being marketed this mentality and um and everyone starts doing it, then no one's having babies.
00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:45.920
And then we're gonna start dying out eventually.
00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:48.319
You know, it's like a no one sees it immediately.
00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:49.759
It's not an eminent problem.
00:05:49.839 --> 00:05:55.920
This is like, you know, two generations from now kind of situation, but it's still a situation.
00:05:56.160 --> 00:05:56.800
Yeah.
00:05:57.279 --> 00:06:13.360
And I mean, because we have this conversation this week because I had like a meltdown pretty much when it was coming to like how we see or how okay, how I saw productivity within pregnancy.
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:30.000
And that was a hard one for me because I am that person who kind of identified as the hyper-independent boss bitch girl who like does the things that I'm scared of, does the things that I say I'm going to do.
00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:35.680
And what's probably one of the reasons why I didn't want kids my entire life because I thought they were gonna make my life smaller and not make my life bigger.
00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:37.279
So I was like, I don't, I don't want them.
00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:38.800
Why they're gonna hold me back.
00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:41.519
Now I'm pregnant, and I've said this before multiple times.
00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:43.199
I can't believe I ever felt that way.
00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:47.279
Like your brain clicks, it rewires itself.
00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:50.000
You're not thinking the same way that you were before you got pregnant.
00:06:50.079 --> 00:06:51.759
It's the craziest thing.
00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:56.079
And so I'm still running off of this botch boss bitch.
00:06:56.160 --> 00:07:01.199
I need to be hyper ambitious mindset while being pregnant.
00:07:01.279 --> 00:07:08.959
And like there was a big rub for me, and it was stressing me out to the gills.
00:07:09.040 --> 00:07:13.600
Like I could not enjoy anything, it felt like.
00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:24.879
I just always felt like I was behind, and I wasn't seeing building a baby and like creating life as productive.
00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:46.319
I was, I was still garnering a lot of my self-worth, am still garnering a lot of my self-worth, even though I'm working on it, from what I produce, what I create, what money I bring in, and not what my superpower inherently is, which is creation of another human.
00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:47.040
Yeah.
00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:55.279
I think uh you were kind of downplaying your ability to make another human.
00:07:55.839 --> 00:08:01.519
Like it it wasn't that big of a deal, like yeah, I mean I'm doing it, but I could be doing all these other things.
00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:02.879
It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:08:03.199 --> 00:08:04.560
You're doing that.
00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:06.879
That's a big deal.
00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:08.000
Right?
00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:17.199
Like you're not just you know, feeling unproductive because you the only thing you did today was clean the kitchen.
00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:20.959
Yeah, the only thing you did you did today was you grew toes.
00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:23.040
What?
00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:25.519
Like that's crazy.
00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:27.279
And I can't do it.
00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:31.120
So you know what I mean?
00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:37.759
Maybe we're not all that equal in that in that regard, and maybe we should celebrate our differences a little bit, you know?
00:08:38.159 --> 00:08:38.399
Yeah.
00:08:38.720 --> 00:08:42.720
Let me stress out because the only thing I did today was was clean the kitchen.
00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:49.120
I should have been more productive, I should have brought more food home, I should have brought more money home to feed the family.
00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:50.399
Let me stress about that.
00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:51.679
That's my job.
00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:54.399
You shouldn't stress.
00:08:54.480 --> 00:09:00.480
You you're I mean, your day-to-day, you don't really do a lot um for pregnancy.
00:09:00.559 --> 00:09:02.960
It kind of just is like on autopilot.
00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:03.759
Yeah.
00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:11.519
But that's still a big deal, you know, especially like when you hit pregnancy brain and you're like, I can't think straight today or whatever.
00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:13.039
Like, there's a reason for that.
00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:15.519
Man, I got pregnancy brain.
00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:17.360
Yeah, the first trimester was rough for you.
00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:19.120
Oh, I think I'm getting it worse now.
00:09:19.360 --> 00:09:19.840
Really?
00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:24.799
I was going somewhere yesterday and I missed three exits.
00:09:25.120 --> 00:09:28.480
I added 30 minutes to where I was supposed to go.
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:34.000
And I pride myself on like knowing where to go and when to go and like getting in there as quickly as humanly possible, but safe.
00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:35.600
Like I am efficient.
00:09:35.759 --> 00:09:37.679
I miss three exits.
00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:39.759
Ugh.
00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:41.039
So frustrating.
00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:44.480
Also, we have this thing called like relax something rather, relaxant.
00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:48.639
I don't know what it's called, but you also start dropping things a lot more.
00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:57.360
And so I wake up much earlier than you, and I get up and I'm trying to be quiet, and I I can't, for the life of me, keep a single thing in my hands.
00:09:57.679 --> 00:09:58.320
Really?
00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:00.960
Yeah, it's annoying.
00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:03.039
So I feel like I have a pregnancy brain.
00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:04.720
Is that a common thing?
00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:06.240
Dropping things?
00:10:06.559 --> 00:10:07.519
This relaxant.
00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:08.480
Yeah, you have to do it.
00:10:08.559 --> 00:10:12.159
It relaxed so you can give birth, it relaxes your muscles and your ligaments.
00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:15.919
Oh wow, so it's like a like a precursor to birth, your body's like prepping for it.
00:10:16.159 --> 00:10:22.639
Yeah, like how you make more blood, you also make this thing to help you relax your body and be able to stretch.
00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:33.039
Oh, they don't like when I was at prenatal Pilates, they were talking about not doing like very fast twitch movements because you can pull a muscle really easily.
00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:33.600
Oh.
00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:39.039
Hey, in post, can we put like a star and a rainbow over her head and it just says more the more you know?
00:10:43.679 --> 00:10:44.320
Ready?
00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:48.639
Yeah, I mean, pregnancy classes with Whitney.
00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:49.679
I'm like, what's that thing?
00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:52.960
It's called like relax, relaxant, relaxer, yeah.
00:10:53.039 --> 00:10:55.600
You know, that thing that your body releases with Whitney.
00:10:55.679 --> 00:10:56.159
Yeah, exactly.
00:10:56.240 --> 00:10:56.960
Don't listen to me.
00:10:57.120 --> 00:11:02.559
Seriously, I'm just flying blind because no one tells you what's going on going on in pregnancy.
00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:03.600
It is crazy.
00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:06.240
Can we talk about something that we watched over the weekend?
00:11:06.399 --> 00:11:07.039
Yeah.
00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:08.480
The manosphere.
00:11:08.799 --> 00:11:09.519
Oh, yeah.
00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:11.200
It was kind of cringy.
00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:12.720
Kind of cringy?
00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:14.159
It's kind of cringy.
00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:16.480
It was astronomically cringy.
00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:20.240
Cringe mode initiated to the max.
00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:22.159
I just, I don't know.
00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:28.480
We have to talk about it because it goes into like masculinity and we were already talking about femininity and like people's roles and whatever.
00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:28.799
Yeah.
00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:41.200
But like honestly, my thing first and foremost, before we get into this, you this is like a 22, 20, a lot of them are 22, 23-year-old dudes whose frontal lobe isn't even fully formed.
00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:43.039
You've hardly lived any life.
00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:47.840
You're probably just out of mama and daddy's house, and you're telling people how to be a man.
00:11:49.120 --> 00:11:49.919
You're a child.
00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:51.519
You look like you're 12.
00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:53.279
You think those are big muscles?
00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:57.360
They can't even get big enough yet because you're not a man enough yet.
00:11:57.759 --> 00:11:58.080
Okay.
00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:01.120
A lot of them are on all kinds of stuff too.
00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:02.000
Like TRC.
00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:04.320
Well, that's gonna be great for them later on in life.
00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:04.720
Yeah.
00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:10.000
When they realize what masculinity and manhood is because they lived long enough to get there.
00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:10.559
Yeah.
00:12:10.799 --> 00:12:14.879
You know, I really actually loved the the guy who put that documentary together.
00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:16.240
I loved him too.
00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:16.960
He did a great job.
00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:19.120
He really grew on me quite a bit.
00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:34.480
Um, and I I like what he touched on is that like there is this sort of um there's there is this growing how do I word this?
00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:42.799
I think there's a void of healthy masculinity being taught to young men in the world.
00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:53.519
There is a void being filled with young men that don't have the right idea of what masculinity is projecting what they think it is.
00:12:54.240 --> 00:13:14.720
And so that's why you're getting traditional values mixed in with um monogamous relationships and non-monogamous, you mean non-right, non-monogamous relationships where they're married, they have kids, but they also have multiple girl girlfriends.
00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:17.840
But they also have a one-sided monogamous relationship.
00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:33.279
Yeah, that's what I'm getting at, is that there's nothing really teaching men to be masculine and powerful, but also be um courteous and kind and chivalrous.
00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:40.559
It's almost like that died, and there's toxic masculinity um and nothing else.
00:13:40.879 --> 00:13:44.080
It's like it's almost like masculine is a bad thing.
00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:50.720
Feminism, feminism is a good thing, and everything that men does is is bad.
00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:58.799
But be this doesn't mean that men are gonna stop being men, they're just gonna go into the world with the wrong idea.
00:13:59.120 --> 00:14:08.639
And all the men that that he interviews, and we haven't even finished it, but I so far a lot of them grew up without fathers in a broken home.
00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:15.679
They're pretty young, successful entrepreneurs and just kind of scamming people, it seems.
00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:41.120
And I think there's something to be said for the way men used to be raised in very, very traditional families where you had multi-generational homes where you had an old man teaching a young boy how to be a man, a man that had lived his whole life, had learned all the wrongs, and already gone through all the hiccups, and he had good values to teach a young man.
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:48.559
And when you have young men who haven't gone through that teaching young men how to be men, you have the blind lead and the blind.
00:14:49.039 --> 00:14:52.799
And he highlights a really massive issue we have in society.
00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:57.039
Masculinity doesn't have to be bad, just like where's the chivalry?
00:14:57.120 --> 00:15:05.600
Where's where's the like be the big strong man that opens doors and takes care of your people and is kind and polite, but could also fuck you up.
00:15:05.759 --> 00:15:09.600
Like, why doesn't that exist in in mass scale?
00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:13.519
I feel like that is what creates a strong society, you know?
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:16.240
I absolutely agree.
00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:23.200
I think the reason why we don't see more of that is because it's not clickbaity and we live yeah, it's not extreme.
00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:24.320
They can't monetize it.
00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:42.480
And so I think these boys who are teaching about manhood um are saying things for shock factor, and they know that people are going to click on it, and the more people click on it, the more they get paid, and they all they want is to get paid, is to get paid.
00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:45.679
So, and this might be controversial.
00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:49.360
Some of the stuff in there isn't terrible advice.
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:54.639
A lot of it is terrible, don't get me wrong, but they start off pretty good and then they just take it so extreme.
00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:56.159
You're like, oh yeah, I'm on board.
00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:01.679
Okay, yeah, like work for what you really want in life, don't expect the world to hand you things.
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:04.000
Cool, I can totally get on board with that.
00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:08.159
And then they just they just make it bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.
00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:12.799
And you're like, whoa, bro, you really took it all way too far and just lost us all.
00:16:13.039 --> 00:16:13.279
Right.
00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:16.320
You know, you had me for the first half, yes.
00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:24.799
Um, and so some some of the information I think is really good and can help people because not all of it is just dumb.
00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:39.279
No, but it's mixed in there with also misleading stuff, and that's what people are watching more of because it gets more clicks, and then that's what these young children are following and learning how to be a man from.
00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:40.480
And it's so extreme.
00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:42.720
It's like learning how to have sex from porn.
00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:45.440
It's not, it's a performative.
00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:47.600
You're the sex expert.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:52.320
When you watch porn, it is not real, it's fake, it's performative.
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:59.759
They are they have the perfect lighting, the girls know where to put their hair, they know when to moan, they know when to do X, Y, and Z.
00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:09.839
They are trained to preform a certain way to get more clicks and to get that person to where they want to go the fastest way as humanly possible.
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:22.799
So if you're going to learn how to educate yourself on how to please a woman or yeah, please a woman with porn, you're behind the ball here, dude.
00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:24.160
You're really behind the ball.
00:17:24.319 --> 00:17:28.480
And it's also very male focused, you know.
00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:35.839
Um, God, I wish I knew the stat right now, but I think it's like 80% of women do not come from penetration alone.
00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:38.880
And that is what they show on porn.
00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:42.400
It's mainly P and the V constantly, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:43.440
She's freaking out.
00:17:43.680 --> 00:17:46.640
80% of women do not orgasm like that.
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:49.599
I mean, hello.
00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:53.039
Maybe we should start doing some other things here.
00:17:53.200 --> 00:18:00.400
And if you are trying to please your woman by only doing that, you're there's only 20% of people out there.
00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:06.720
And that doesn't not mean that all y'all are this big stallion who's nah, I'm the exception.
00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:08.000
I got my girl that way.
00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:10.480
Okay, probably not.
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:15.680
Anyways, that's my um it's my uh what's it called?
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:16.240
Rant.
00:18:16.559 --> 00:18:17.119
That was good.
00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:18.480
I didn't want to interrupt.
00:18:21.039 --> 00:18:30.240
And I did use to host a two sex and wild love podcast where we talk to many porn stars, by the way, and about this specific thing and porn directors.
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:32.400
So I'm not just pulling this out of my butt.
00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:32.960
Right.
00:18:33.119 --> 00:18:33.759
No, you're right.
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:36.799
It's totally it's made for the men that are watching it.
00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:38.640
Yes, and it's a play.
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:40.160
You're watching a play.
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:45.519
Might as well just go to like a Broadway porn show and be like, oh yeah, let her go.
00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:50.079
It's like watching a Jason Bourne movie and being like, oh yeah, I know how to fight somebody.
00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:50.960
Yeah.
00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:52.079
Really?
00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:54.319
I mean, listen, you could probably pick up some tips.
00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:54.720
Sure.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:55.680
Tips and tricks.
00:18:55.920 --> 00:19:00.160
Yeah, but then you're gonna go try to kill somebody with a pencil and it's just not gonna work out for you.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.200
That's funny.
00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:10.799
But yeah, anyways, to circle back, I do feel like that's how um the manosphere is is basically teaching masculinity.
00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:12.640
Yeah, it's unfortunate.
00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:14.400
I don't know what to do about it.
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:26.000
Some bitch about it, but if our unborn son, let's say he's 15 and he comes to you and he's like, like, what is a man?
00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:27.920
Like, what makes me a good man?
00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:30.480
What would you tell him?
00:19:31.839 --> 00:19:33.759
Um, well, that I mean that's shit.
00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:38.720
That's assuming that we already haven't had this conversation a few times leading up to him being 15.
00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:39.839
Well, I mean, you know.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:48.559
I think well, I think it's hard to to tell a 15-year-old in one sentence or one conversation.
00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:56.400
I think it's about I think it's important to raise boys to be men.
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:57.519
It's a slow burn.
00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:00.640
They have to they have to touch the stove to know it's hot.
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:04.240
They have to make mistakes and be corrected.
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:06.400
Because that's what that's what children do.
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:09.680
They they they test boundaries to to learn.
00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:18.240
Um but I it it really it's just about uh instilling the the principles that I I think makes a a good man.
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:26.640
Um I think that a good man should first and foremost be strong.
00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:29.279
I don't think that they're uh off there.
00:20:29.359 --> 00:20:32.640
I think teaching men to hit the gym is a really good thing.
00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:46.319
Um it's fucking fantastic for mental illness and it gives you um the ability to overcome doing hard things so you don't you know bitch out because life is hard.
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.960
So that's positive.
00:20:49.440 --> 00:21:02.880
Um but but I think also it's it teaches men to this manosphere thing teaches men to ignore um emotions.
00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:08.960
Um which is not necessarily a manosphere thing, it's it kind of goes way better.
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:10.720
Yeah, yeah.
00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:18.400
That's kind of a that's kind of a bigger issue that's getting folded into the manosphere, but you know, it's it's interesting that part.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:24.160
Um not to go too far off a tangent here, but men and women both have feelings.
00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:29.440
But growing up as a man, you're told that feelings are feminine.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:30.960
So don't feel them.
00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:32.400
But men feel them.
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:37.440
We get angry and sad and depressed and lonely and happy and all the things.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:45.039
But if you suppress those things and you don't know how to deal with them, you lack you know, uh emotional intelligence.
00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:51.279
So I think being a man is um being strong physically, but also being strong mentally as well.
00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:56.240
That's a massive thing that is not really being taught to to kids.
00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:59.440
And like emotionally intelligent.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:10.880
You know, it's like I find it very attractive and being able to trust somebody when they say how they feel.
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:11.519
Right?
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:13.440
Because if I'm like, hey babe, how are you today?
00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:14.640
Like everything's fine.
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:18.240
And you don't ever really open up to me, we're not gonna go deep.
00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:28.720
We're not gonna have we're gonna have a very superficial relationship, and that's going to make me not want to open up to you either.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:29.119
Yeah.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:30.880
So we can only go so far in that.
00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:39.839
And I think like really there's it is cliche, but it's like that quote of you know, vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's actually a strength.
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:40.640
Yeah.
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:43.839
And that's how I feel about men sharing their emotions.
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:47.519
It's a strength, it shows that you're strong, it doesn't show that you're weak.
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:48.319
Yeah.
00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:55.119
I I when I when I talk to a lot of my friends about um how something made me feel or or whatever.
00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:56.559
Guys don't talk about anything.
00:22:56.799 --> 00:22:57.839
They don't talk, no, they don't.
00:22:58.000 --> 00:22:59.759
Man, I can't get any anything.
00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:03.200
I feel so uh alone in that regard.
00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:03.839
Yeah.
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:05.440
A lot of my friends.
00:23:05.759 --> 00:23:09.279
Well, yes, because it's just normal to not talk about anything.
00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:12.079
It's like, and I know girls all we all feel this.
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.839
We'd be like, you your friend breaks up with somebody, right?
00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:18.559
And then we're like, so what happened?
00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:19.200
Are they good?
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:24.720
Like, I mean, you just spent all day with them, and like no one, you get zero information.
00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:25.359
Like, I don't know.
00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:31.039
We talked about golf and and surfing, and then you know what what was broken on the car earlier.
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:40.880
And I'm like, how did you not just talk about the fact that he just ended his engagement of 47 years with somebody like you know what I mean?
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:55.119
I mean, but it's just like it doesn't matter how close you are to that person in a man group, it's so normal to not talk about the things that are plaguing them on the deepest level and just go straight for like, yeah, that the car stick.
00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:56.000
Yeah.
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.000
I'm like, how are you guys are you guys friends?
00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:04.960
They people become really good at at the like surface level bravado, like, hey, we'll stop, bro! And like they're really good at that.
00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:12.400
And then if you start talking to them about something deeper, you can kind of see it in their eyes, they're kind of just like searching for words and not really sure what to do.
00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:16.079
They're second-guessing themselves or worried about what other people are gonna think about them.
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:18.319
They use very simple language.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:21.920
Well, how do you think you got more comfortable talking about your feelings?
00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:26.400
Therapy.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:37.119
So, do you think you weren't super comfortable talking about it up to that point, and then you got into therapy and it and it shifted it for you, or do you feel like you've kind of always been more open to that?
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:40.960
No, I think I just didn't really know how to do it.
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:42.079
Oh, okay.
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:52.160
And um, I mean, we talked we talked about this on the last podcast, but you know, I had to become a broken version of myself and and seek help.
00:24:52.400 --> 00:25:09.599
Um, and when you're in a doctor's office with someone who's got a PhD in human emotions, you you you start to learn from them, like not saying I'm a therapist now or I have a PhD, but I think you're like an unofficial therapist.
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:12.400
Like to a lot of a lot of people I am, yeah.
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:13.440
It's crazy.
00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:16.480
His advice, he says things so much more eloquent than I do.
00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:22.720
I feel like I'm not talking about it, and he's like, And it makes total sense.
00:25:22.960 --> 00:25:25.359
Sometimes I'm exactly the the same way too.
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:27.359
Sometimes I'm a fucking dumbass.
00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:32.240
Everybody is ties into um confidence, you know.
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:43.680
Like if you're confident in a in a certain subject, like say we're talking about geopolitics and I know what the fuck I'm talking about, then I'm gonna be confident in entering that conversation.
00:25:43.759 --> 00:25:46.880
But we're talking about emotions and I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:49.759
I'm probably gonna avoid that conversation.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:53.759
I'm gonna say that I lack interest in that.
00:25:54.000 --> 00:26:00.319
Um, I might gaslight you to keep you away from from talking about if you keep pressing because I'm afraid to go there.
00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:00.720
Yeah.
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:01.599
You know what I mean?
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:09.440
And I'm gonna validate it in my head that I don't I don't want to go there because it's not a fun subject to talk about.
00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:11.200
And so I don't want to talk about it.
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:14.640
No, it's probably not fun, but it's probably beneficial to you.
00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:20.160
Especially like if if we're talking about it because said person is hurting and needs some help.
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:26.319
But I mean, everyone's got their own way of doing things.
00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:27.279
Yeah.
00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:32.480
I mean, I feel like I feel like I even still have trouble talking about my emotions.
00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:34.880
I'm a a shutter downer, you know?
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:36.079
I like to You are?
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:38.079
Yeah, I like to avoid.
00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:40.079
That's my personal preference.
00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:42.079
You get never mind, I won't talk about that.
00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:42.960
I'd rather be happy.
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:45.519
He go there with me.
00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:48.559
Well, yeah, it's because I feel safe enough to go there with you.
00:26:48.799 --> 00:27:02.880
And but I wasn't always that way, you know, like, and I had a lot of practice of like forcing myself to talk about really uncomfortable situations like from my past open relationships and stuff.
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:03.839
I didn't have a choice.
00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:09.440
It was like I had to talk about the things that I didn't want to talk about on your podcast too, right?
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:10.880
Yeah, everywhere.
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:13.359
Yeah, all the time, everywhere, all the time.
00:27:13.599 --> 00:27:21.359
Even if I didn't understand it, like you were saying, I didn't have confidence in in talking about it because I didn't even understand my own emotions at that time.
00:27:21.519 --> 00:27:23.759
So I then I had to talk about it publicly.
00:27:24.319 --> 00:27:28.720
Trying to process it in real time in front of people is a trip.
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:30.079
Yeah, and that's really hard.
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:32.960
And then you know you're gonna get judged super hard on everything you say.
00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:34.160
Oh my god, for sure.
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:36.000
So then that's gonna hold you up.
00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:40.000
And so then you're not gonna really talk all that eloquently about it.
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:40.640
No.
00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:43.839
And so I think that was a big thing for me.
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:49.440
But even like my upbringing, it wasn't, you know, show your emotions all the time and learn how to talk about your emotions.
00:27:49.599 --> 00:28:02.480
It was just like move through them to just do the things that you need to do, which has helped me in life, but it also made me pretty prone to avoiding things a lot of the times.
00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:13.279
And so, yes, now I feel much more confident and safe in the relationship to speak what's going on within me.
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:18.799
Um, but that also doesn't mean that I that I feel 100% confident in it.
00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:27.279
Like a lot of the times I still feel insecure and I still doubt what's going on internally, but I know that, okay, I mean, we're married.
00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:31.119
If I can't tell Ryan this, then what the fuck is going on?
00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.000
You know, that's not the type of relationship that I want to have.
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:38.960
And I'm unwilling to do that because I feel like it's death by a thousand paper cuts.
00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:44.720
You keep doing that over and over and over again, and it's going to be a detriment to you, your relationship.
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:46.319
And that's the last thing that I want.
00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:57.920
So I'd rather put myself in the uncomfortable situation to prove to myself that I can talk about it, bring us closer together, and probably strengthen our relationship in the process of that.
00:28:58.720 --> 00:28:59.599
Agreed.
00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:01.759
Oh God, I'm out of breath.
00:29:03.599 --> 00:29:04.480
It's crazy.
00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:05.759
I'll tell you what.
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:09.440
Everything men do is for women.
00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.480
I mean, uh, every straight man, I should say.
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:13.759
I was gonna say, like mainly.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:15.920
What about what about men with infidelity?
00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:18.640
Is that for women or is that for personal gain?
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:22.000
They they wish they didn't have infidelity.
00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:39.599
But I mean, and there's there's outliers, but there's what I'm taking, what I'm saying is a very generalized statement that everything a man does in the life in his life, once he grows out of his adolescence and becomes an adult, he's doing it for uh his partner.
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:48.880
If um if he's alone in life, everything he's doing is for nothing, and that makes him depressed.
00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:51.119
Male depression is through the roof.
00:29:51.359 --> 00:30:00.400
Um, yeah, what you were saying earlier, um, women have become stronger and smarter, and they have uh pushed away from needing men.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:15.920
And I think that was caused because when men had a shitload of power back in the madmen era, they unfortunately abused it and did not make women as precious as they should be.
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:32.559
Um, and so women have reacted like on a whole and pushed away from men, and men have been left feeling useless, and that's causing masculinity to spiral into a bad place, and it needs to be saved.
00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:50.160
I don't know if I'm the guy to do it, but I think like men should be masculine, they should be strong, they should be powerful and protect, and they should take care of shit, but they should also be respectful and gracious to women because without them, we're we're nothing.
00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:53.440
And without women, without men, women are nothing.
00:30:53.759 --> 00:31:00.000
They'll just die out if they don't, if they if they don't make babies, like the population will literally fucking cease to exist.
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:11.359
So it's about having that balance and that that gratitude for one another and acknowledging our differences that together we can thrive.
00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:14.960
But I don't think that's what's happening right now.
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:28.559
We're having a cause and effect, we're having women reacting to the way men used to be, and men are kind of lost and confused and desperate and seeking for some seeking some kind of answer to why they're feeling the way that they are.
00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:34.319
And then this manosphere thing thing over here is like, well, I have the answers.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:39.680
Like, you know, fuck bitches, get money, do exactly what you want, take care of yourself.
00:31:39.839 --> 00:31:42.480
Um, and that's the wrong answer, too.
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:46.240
You know, it's there's there, I don't really know what to do about it.
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:58.000
There's because there's good in bad, and you can't you can't expect a young man, a child, to pick through what all these guys are saying and say, like, well, I agree with this and I don't agree with that.
00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:01.279
They're gonna agree with all of it because they're lost and confused and depressed.
00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:05.839
They don't know how to communicate, they don't know how to talk to women, they don't have emotional intelligence.
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:14.559
The number one thing I hear from women is that men don't communicate across the board a hundred times, a hundred percent.
00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:23.039
It's like well, I guess if men learned how to communicate and learned how to talk about how they feel, then then then you would kind of that would kind of take care of things.
00:32:23.279 --> 00:32:38.079
So I don't know, I guess it just maybe it's just uh about normalizing um emotional intelligence, nor not normalizing talking about feelings and and things like that, and and and kind of creating that trend might help.
00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:58.000
Do you think like outside of therapy for men, are there like what would you recommend for someone to try to become better at this if they just let's say they didn't have access to therapy or they I don't know, don't have the money for it.
00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:00.880
But they do, they have access to anything.
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:02.240
We live in the age of information.
00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:02.880
That's true.
00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:07.920
You have a phone, you know it's you could use social media for good, you could use it for bad.
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:12.079
You can look at, you know, basically porn on it.
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:17.039
Um, or you could follow pages that you know talk about this kind of thing.
00:33:17.279 --> 00:33:23.039
I think that's really the big thing is just talking about it, being being open to learning something.
00:33:23.359 --> 00:33:30.640
If you if you think that you know everything about a subject and you're unwilling to be wrong, you stunt your growth.
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:37.200
You're no longer going to grow because you feel like you have grown as much as you can, which is impossible.
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:37.920
Right.
00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:41.200
I mean, BB King was taking guitar lessons until the day he died.
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:41.759
Right.
00:33:42.079 --> 00:33:45.279
So that's that's where I would start.
00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:48.880
It was just pick a pick a lane and go.
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:55.759
And then the more you do it, the more you start learning, and then you get curious about something else, you get curious about something else, and your tree grows.
00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:57.279
We're gonna roll on to the next episode.
00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:04.960
But if you liked this episode, subscribe, like, comment, rate, do all of the things because the algorithm gods listen to you.
00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:05.759
They don't listen to me.
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:07.200
So help your girl out.
