WEBVTT
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Hello everyone, here with my De Swa Hot Margarita, ready to talk to you about why is everything triggering us right now?
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Why does it feel like that scene in Bruce Almighty where he's like, smite me, Almighty Smiter?
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You know, when you're like, could another thing happen and another thing happened and another thing happened?
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And you're like, why me?
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Is change even possible?
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What are we doing here?
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Am I just meant to fly at this low frequency for the rest of my life?
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Have no fear.
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Open your mocktail too.
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This one does taste like a little spicy marg, if you will.
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Um, been on the mocktail train for quite some time, and this is powerful stuff, if I do say so myself.
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Anyhow, if that's you, if you're just like, why is everything triggering me?
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I've done the work, I've had all the peak experiences, the coaching, the therapy, the Hoffman process, blood medicine journeys.
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I'm like, no, you, just me.
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Um, and you're gonna learn why it's happening, how to embrace it, what to do about it, and how to turn it into the alchemy so you come back better, faster, stronger, more powerful on the other side.
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And not while making this the Olympics of self-development, because we are not about who can take ourselves the most seriously, who is the most healed, who is the most profound inner child.
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No, it's gonna be through play, because I believe the playful state is the powerful state, and self-amusement is actually the advanced form of self-awareness.
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So we can be in awareness hell, we can be in Dante's inferno of these triggers, right?
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I'm I keep choosing this emotionally unavailable person because some part of me believes that I am not enough or I don't ask for the raise because I've been damaged from using my voice ever since I didn't speak up on the playground when I was six.
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Whatever it is, it's great to have awareness.
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Don't get me wrong, awareness is the perfect first step.
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But when we stay in this awareness hill, what can happen with these triggers is that it reinforces an old story.
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And then that's exactly what our inner saboteur wants.
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They want us to be like, see, change isn't possible.
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I guess that this is the devil that I know, and I will just keep burning in the seventh circle of Dante's Inferno.
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I don't know what the seventh circle is.
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Maybe it's awareness hell.
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That would be really hot, probably hotter than your hottest hot yoga mixed with a sauna on a hot desert day.
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And we all love a good hot yoga, hot sauna, but there is such a thing as too hot.
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All of that's to say, guys.
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So let's break it down.
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We get triggered a lot when we are actually on the brink of a breakthrough.
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And the reason is this we've been doing all the manifestation, all the work, and we're like ready to fly high, ready to push the pedal to the metal.
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But theoretically, you know, we think we have the codes.
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Have we walked the fire yet?
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No, we've done our little practice runs.
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You may have done the uh the little like parent taught driver's ed, but have you gone on the 405 and rush hour?
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No, right?
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It's all theoretical.
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And so the universe is like, okay, yeah, you think you can operate at that level?
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Show me.
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Because with great power comes great responsibility, a Spider-Man would say.
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And what is happening is when these triggers are bothering us, we're becoming more and more attuned, right?
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Our nervous system is more and more aggravated, we're more and more aware.
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Whereas before we might just let them slide, or the triggers might just be part of our everyday.
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They're bothering us even more now because we are a hermit crab that has outgrown its shell.
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We are a hermit crab that's saying, This shell is too fucking tight.
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I need to move, and I need to move like yesterday.
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But we stay in these triggers because we would much rather be in this old, familiar, too tight show than risk being naked and exposed, having to leave our shell, be naked, and go to the bigger shell that is on the other side, that is more spacious, that we're gonna feel awkward in because we need to grow into our britches, we need to expand into that shell.
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And so, how do we do this?
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Well, the good news is that it all starts with how we respond to the trigger.
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So when we respond to the trigger by saying, Oh, this always happens, change isn't possible, it's kind of like, um, you know, if you believe it, and so it is, right?
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Like, okay, well, then if you believe change isn't possible and you're choosing not to believe that it's not possible, and then you're gonna keep doing this old reaction that keeps helping reinforce I am not enough, you're gonna stay in that old belief, even if your intellectual self is like, I don't want this, I'm ready for that partner, I'm ready for that promotion or whatever.
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The problem is our inner child feels safe replicating that old story over and over and over.
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Just because it feels safe doesn't mean our intellectual self wants it, right?
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But it's like what feels safe, what feels familiar to our inner child.
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So how we break this is actually being like, mm, this is that old trigger.
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This is right where I get like the most annoyed, the most fired up.
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This is right where I want to like do the thing that that just like is like the junk food in the moment, right?
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Where I want to like shut that person out, or I want to lash out, or I want to hide and not use my voice, right?
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Whatever that like junk food is for you that feels so safe in the moment, but that you lash yourself for afterward.
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When we say this is the moment where I would usually do that, and uh, I'm gonna take a pause, and I'm gonna take a breath.
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And what would the me who like already knows I deserve this do?
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What would the me who knows this is all like a simulation do for funsies that's different?
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You know, like if I um knew that I like deserved this job, deserved this raise, instead of being like paranoid that my manager hates me, I'd, you know, show up with like this funny amount of confidence that is usually like so inaccessible to me.
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And I would just have fun with it because it'd be like, okay, this or something greater, right?
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What is that new shift of that you who like already knows they have it or who knows that like it's not that serious?
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Like, if if not this, something greater.
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If not this, it means something even better for the you who knows they are enough, who knows they deserve it, will have.
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So it's like in that trigger moment, first creating that space, stretching the space between the awareness and response, because in that space is where our whole being changes.
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It's where we get to make a new choice.
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That new choice leads to a new data point.
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That new data point leads to a new belief about what's possible that helps start to reinforce safety in this area that once felt gray and scary to our inner child.
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Wow.
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Let's just take a little mock toe moment to sit in that space to enjoy that gray area.
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Ugh.
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Wow.
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Just to like revel in it, to like love the discomfort, you know, when you're in like a yoga pose and you're like, ooh, this feels uncomfortable.
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I feel like I'm about to like have this huge release in my half pigeon, and it like hurts so good, you know.
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And I just kind of breathe into it.
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It's that, it's like the pleasure and pain both dancing together, like an orgasm, right?
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Kind of like in an orgasm where you're almost like, oh my god, should this stop?
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What's happening?
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Ah, and then it happens, and you're like, what a relief.
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But also like, what an unexpected, uncontrollable feeling.
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But it's almost like to get there, you have to allow that discomfort, that surrender, that letting down of your metaphorical and literal hair.
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Okay, let's just take a second to recap to make sure we are all on the same page.
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So, first we're like, everything's triggering me.
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Why means change isn't change isn't even possible.
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That's where we do our first reframe.
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Oh, everything's triggering me.
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That means I'm on the inflection point of big change.
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That means even when I can't see it reflected in my external reality, I'm choosing to trust because trust only exists in times of uncertainty.
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And if I'm being triggered, that must mean I'm being excavated.
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I'm being unearthed.
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My foundation is being shaken in all the areas because the universe knows I'm ready to up-level.
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So let me step the fuck up because I am ready to put my skills to use.
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It's like my husband does MMA, and he's always like on the street when we're walking, like ready to defend me, right?
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Like ready to like put his skills into action.
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So it's like having that same sort of excitement for your triggers.
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Like, I fucking worked on this and powerful stuff with Meredith.
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Like, I am so excited to be triggered.
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I welcome this trigger.
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Please trigger, come.
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Because I'm excited to make a new choice.
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Okay, so first we've we've accepted and we know that those triggers are coming up because we are on the inflection point of growth.
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Wow, you're amazing.
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So brave.
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Let's do it.
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Then we create that pause, right?
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When it actually is happening, when that thing is actually triggering us.
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Ooh, I'm not saying don't feel it, because that would be spiritual bypassing, and we don't want that.
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I'm saying take a second to feel it and just go that.
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Ooh, this is that moment.
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This is that moment where I'd usually react in that other way.
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Or as Marianne Williamson says in a return to love, she's like, this is it.
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This is the time where the knife enters my heart.
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Like, I uh I'm willing to see this differently.
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I'm willing to return to who I am, right?
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I'm willing to return to the truth of who I am.
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It's like that moment where you're just like, right?
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So that's when we take our pause, we take a sip of our metaphorical or literal mocktail, and we go, who is the me who already knows they are deserving?
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Who knows this is kind of like a fun little game.
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How do they respond?
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What is the cheeky thing they do if we pull ourselves out of the scene, right?
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And we give ourselves that bird-eye view.
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How can we show up differently?
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How can we make a new choice?
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What does that new choice feel like?
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And then ideally you implement that new choice, right?
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And it might feel funny or awkward at first.
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It's your first time doing it, first time doing anything, riding a bike, amongst other things, feels clunky, right?
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But you're doing it, you're shifting.
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And even if you shift like halfway through the trigger or you kind of start going down the old path, but you self-correct, that's still a win because you're still correcting, you know, some steps down the road versus not at all.
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Anyway, so you start to do that and then you notice how it feels.
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You notice the response you get.
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And even if it doesn't go the way you want, by the way, you can still say, I'm alive and I did it, right?
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Like even if that person who you really wanted, you said the honest thing and you usually don't, and they walked away, it's like, ooh, okay, they walked away, the worst thing happened, and I'm still alive.
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The worst thing happened, and how might this actually be the best thing?
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Well, they might have actually been clearing the space for someone greater, or like the job actually, like, you know, didn't give me the promotion I want and went with someone else.
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Okay, this is showing me that I'm like ready to move on, right?
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So even if you don't get the like resounding response that you want, it actually might be a gift showing you that you're ready to move on.
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And most importantly, you can tell your inner you, you fucking did it, you survived, you're still here.
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So if we can take this swing and hear a no, just imagine how many swings we can take and we can start hearing yeses, right?
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And then you can also on the other side of implementing that new trigger treasure turnaround, that new action.
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What does success feel like for me when I'm fully in that positive feedback loop of doing, doing the thing that my highest self would be doing?
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How do I want to feel in that?
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What will have shifted in my relationships?
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What will have shifted in my work and my connection to myself, right?
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And you can start to see how that isolated trigger, like maybe it's a trigger in your romantic life, then applies or ripples out and elevates your professional life, or vice versa.
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How speaking up in your professional life deepens intimacy in your other areas of life, right?
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How does success feel like?
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How is it rippling out in these other areas?
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And that is how we turn our triggers into treasures, and that is how we start to change our life by noticing that space when we are triggered, creating that awareness and that where do I go from here?
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Because we keep staying in awareness hull when we keep being in like little victim mode.
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And we can even, these are little addendums, guys, because you know we went over a lot today, and I'm really proud of you for absorbing it all.
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But we can get into these spirals when we start to attach ourselves to the old belief of like, of course, these triggers are happening because change isn't worthy.
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But when you notice that happening, you can almost like have a little cheeky um moment with that part of yourself.
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Like, okay, I see little Meredith who like loves to pretend she's not enough.
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Like, I know you're trying to get my attention.
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What do you need right now?
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Do you need a hug?
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Do you need acknowledgement?
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Do you need to like cry in the tub?
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Right?
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Because oftentimes that part of us who's like, change isn't possible.
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They're like a scared version of us who's just trying to keep us at that familiar level.
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So you want to sit them on your lap, you want to give them a little sugar-free lollipop or whole sugar lollipop, whatever kind of lollipop you want.
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You want to be like, hey, what's going on?
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I see you.
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I'm hearing you.
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And just because you let that part of you speak, it doesn't mean that it's true.
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That part of you just wants to be seen, right?
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Just as a little child is having a temper tantrum because they didn't get the toy that they want, you can still sit with them in that feeling without, you know, needing to get them that toy.
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And oftentimes it's just being seen and that feeling held and heard that allows them to move through that emotion.
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And that is the exact same thing with our saboteur voice, who's really just our scared inner child at the end of the day, who needs that little, that little hug, that little lollipop, or you know, our adult inner child who just needs that little mocktail, you know, at the end of a hard day.
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Um, so I'll say that.
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The other thing that I'll say is also, as we're making these shifts, these changes, it'll feel really hard the first few times, then it'll start to get easier.
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And then again, some sneaky voices might be coming in.
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Well, I'm making all these positive feedback loop changes, and I'm still not finding the love of my life, right?
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It's just helped me discern fuck boys more easily or whatever it might be.
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This is when we double down.
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Again, trust does not exist in times of uncertainty.
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So we actually want to double down on the positive feedback loop and say, I am willing to continue to show up as my highest self, even when the external world hasn't caught up.
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And that is when we build the most self-trust, because it's like, regardless of what the universe brings back to me, I know I'm worth it and I'm showing up in my highest integrity right now.
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And that is actually when we're about to have that watershed moment.
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And Lacey Phillips, who teaches to be magnetic, calls this magic dark when we are feeling like we're not having any external validation of what we're ready to step into.
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Maybe we're also being triggered.
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This is when we want to double down.
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This is when we want to keep going.
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This is when we want to keep cheering ourselves on, encouraging ourselves, right?
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It's mile 22 of the marathon.
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You have six more miles or four more miles to go.
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You've already went 22 miles.
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Don't give up.
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You see that person with that perfect sign handing you an orange, you high-five them and you're like, let's fucking go.
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And then something overcomes you, and you're just like, it carries you to the finish line.
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And that's the energy we want here for this up level.
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The last thing that I will say before we get into our meditation, manifestation, celebrate is that you know, it's hot work doing this thing.
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And that is why we want to stay fun and cheeky with it.
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Of course, we can have reverence for the hard things in our life that we have awareness for that we're ready to change.
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But part of the art of being magnetic, of attracting things and of shifting behavior, is also just having a levity of like, I take my responsibilities seriously.
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I'm not gonna take myself that seriously.
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I'm willing to kind of pretend that this is all a game like Mario 64, where each level gets harder and harder, but I get more and more stars, I get more and more expert level until I can save the princess from Bowser, right?
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And when we have that levity with it of like, I'm curious, let's see what happens when I do this, and we don't get stuck in the swamp of it.
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That is the alchemy.
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Oh, yes.
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The other thing I was gonna say, the very last thing is if there are other people in your orbit that are getting the things you want, and you're like, why are they getting the things that I want?
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It feels like I'm on hard mode, they're on easy mode, things are falling into their lap.
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This is so annoying, and you find yourself being jealous or comparing, that is okay.
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I'm gonna do a few episodes on jealousy and comparison, how to alchemize those.
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But the things that I'll say briefly in this episode is, you know, it means that you're actually close.
00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:58.480
Gabby Bernstein calls this driftwood.
00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:04.960
Like when you see someone has the relationship that you want, be like, thank you, universe, for putting that person in my life, showing me that kind of love is possible.
00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:07.920
Maybe you want romantic love, but you have an incredible friendship.
00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:15.279
Like, thank you, universe, for this friendship, which shows me like the kind of relationship that I deserve and that I know can be transferred into that.
00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:19.039
If you see someone get a job opportunity that you want, wow, this person got it.
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:20.160
That's amazing for them.
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:21.920
Just imagine what's possible for me.
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:26.960
When you have that, that gratitude and amazingness, it's like that it's gonna amplify too.
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:35.440
And also when you are getting triggered, another powerful thing to do is to have gratitude for your triggers.
00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:36.319
Thank you.
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:38.640
Thank you for this experience of helping me grow.
00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:44.480
If it's a person who's triggering you, it's like internally sending them gratitude for being your teacher, for helping you grow.
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:47.680
Even if you feel like they're so annoying, they've done the most annoying things to you.
00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:54.000
I do the ancient Hawaiian prayer, uh, Pono Pono, which is like, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me.
00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:54.480
Thank you.
00:18:54.640 --> 00:19:06.400
And I lay in bed that night, like sending them that and like healing energy, thanking them for being a teacher for me to helping me unearth what is unhealed in me so I can rise up to the next level.
00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:09.759
And this gratitude shifts everything.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:13.200
So, to recap, guys, we have the triggers, we reframe them.
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.440
They're happening for us, they're happening for our growth.
00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:17.119
It's not because change isn't possible.
00:19:17.359 --> 00:19:20.640
We notice what we would usually do, how that feels, how that keeps us stuck.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:21.839
We create the space.
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:23.119
Where do we go from here?
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:24.880
What is a new and true response?
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:29.200
We do that response, we notice how it can ripple into other areas of our life.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:30.640
And then we keep going.
00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:36.319
We keep making that choice again and again and again, even when we don't have the external validation.
00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:51.359
We trust in the magic dark, as Lacey Phillips would say, and we trust in the driftwood, as Gabby Bernstein would say, with the comparison trusting, or Lacey Phillips also calls these people expanders, people who expand what's our vision of what's possible for ourselves.
00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:57.279
And then we give gratitude to our triggers and thank them for helping us grow.
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:04.400
And also thank the people in your life who are there for you, who are your lock boxes and vent boxes who are helping you move through the triggers.
00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:09.200
Like just the gratitude all around, because gratitude is the bedrock of manifestation.
00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:15.599
And when you're not sure what to do, even just like looking at all the different ways you can be grateful, it's a perfect first step.
00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:18.319
Okay, so let's take another sip of our mocktail.
00:20:20.319 --> 00:20:20.720
Wow.
00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:24.160
Feel the adaptogens pulsing through your veins.
00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:29.359
We'll go ahead and do a little trigger treasure.
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:31.119
Turn around.
00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:32.880
So we'll take a deep breath in.
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:35.839
Take another step at the top.
00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:37.920
Exhale everything out.
00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:40.400
Two more just like this.
00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:43.039
Big, big, big breath in.
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:46.880
Breathing in all the anger that your trigger is bringing up.
00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:48.799
Exhale everything out.
00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:51.039
Third and deepest.
00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:53.440
One more sip.
00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:55.200
Exhale everything out.
00:20:56.160 --> 00:21:06.960
And as you keep your breath nice and slow, just going ahead and imagining this trigger playing out in the most unsavory way.
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:09.039
Like you and your lowest self.
00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:13.599
Maybe you say the scathing thing or you disappear.
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:20.880
Seeing it play out in your mind's eye, the worst possible outcome that keeps you stuck in your old way of being.
00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:27.920
Just noticing how that behavior in you ripples out to the other people involved in the scene.
00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:32.319
Notice how you feel then, even worse.
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:38.079
And then noticing how it it seeps into other areas of your life.
00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:41.200
Dragging you down.
00:21:42.319 --> 00:21:55.279
And then as you feel it drag you down, zooming out and seeing how this compounding negative belief brings heaviness five, ten, twenty years down the road.
00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:59.839
Just feeling that regret mount and mount and mount.
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:10.640
And then asking that 80-year-old version of you who is just let this old pattern run rampant, victim energy, why me?
00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:13.920
Asking them what do they regret the most.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:29.359
Just acknowledging that, sitting with that heaviness, and then starting to feel that heaviness in your body, noticing where it is, maybe it's your heart, your chest, your throat.
00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:32.319
Go ahead and place both hands where you feel that heaviness.
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:40.720
And as you breathe into that heaviness, go ahead and trace it all the way back to where you might have first learned this old pattern.
00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:44.480
In childhood or adolescence, just getting a glimpse of it.
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:52.960
Maybe a scene from your childhood where you first learned this pattern where your inner child mistakenly thought it would somehow keep you safe.
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:58.960
With compassion, just looking at them, watching it unfold.
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:06.880
And then just asking your inner child, why do they feel like this old pattern will keep them safe?
00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.640
Trusting whatever they say.
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:30.880
To trust you to try something new.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.359
Do they need acknowledgement?
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:35.119
Reassurance?
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:36.160
What do they need?
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:40.799
Letting them know you can do that.
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:43.279
Love them no matter what.
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.920
And you start to feel that heaviness dislodge in your body.
00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:55.039
Maybe you even get a glimpse of where your inner child inherited it from a past generation, parent or caretaker.
00:23:56.640 --> 00:24:08.720
And with full awareness, go ahead and pull that heavy old pattern out of your body, pulling it all out to you're holding that old, heavy pattern in front of you, noticing its weight, its smell, its texture.
00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:19.759
And then with both hands and your eyes closed, start to rub your hands together, transforming that pattern into something powerful, into something beautiful.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:25.839
Opening your palms and in your mind's eye, seeing this new beautiful energy that's been created.
00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:31.039
Represents your highest self.
00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:37.039
With both hands, go ahead and bring that beautiful new energy back to the part of your body where the old pattern left, breathing it in.
00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:53.519
And as you breathe it in, feel it activate every cell of your being to the truth of who you are, down to your hips, all the way up to the crown of your head, into your whole aura, your bloodstream, so you feel completely like your highest self, who always was, always will be, and always knows the truth.
00:24:53.920 --> 00:25:00.400
And with this energy of your highest self, who's grounded, who's centered, it's also playful and radiant.
00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:02.960
Go ahead and replay that trigger.
00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:07.680
But this time from your highest self, knowing how they respond.
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:12.000
With equanimity, with grace.
00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:21.039
Knowing how their response reinforces your capability, your knowing of being enough.
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:25.759
And how that assuredness then affects the other people in the scene.
00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:32.480
And how that then amplifies that sense of peace, calm, trust.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:39.359
And then how that ripples into other areas of your life, elevating and expanding other areas of your life.
00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:52.319
And then as you see it and feel it expand other areas of your life, looking at the all-knowing, omniscient you, the vitality in their eyes, the radiance in their skin.
00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:59.839
Just asking them what is the perfect next step in this situation to alchemize this trigger?
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:03.039
What is the perfect next step?
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:07.039
Trusting whatever they say.
00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:13.519
Committing to yourself right now in this moment that you're gonna do this when you finish this YouTube video.
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:17.359
Thanking them, hugging them.
00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:22.079
And as you take a deep breath in, feeling your past, present, future self all with you, guiding you.
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:23.920
This extra space that's been created.
00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:25.359
Exhale everything out.
00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:27.359
One more breath in.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:31.920
As you exhale, softly open your eyes, coming back into this space.
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:34.880
Wow.
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:43.119
You feel radiant and ready, ready to alchemize that trigger into a treasure.
00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:47.440
Write down what that old self regretted.
00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:56.559
Write down what your inner child needs from you to change and write down and take action on what your highest self says is the perfect next step for that trigger.
00:26:56.720 --> 00:27:02.720
Because now we've envisioned the worst, we've envisioned the best, and we can action on the best because we've already felt it in our bodies.
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:04.799
And that is the most powerful stuff.
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:09.279
So I'm excited to hear how you are going to turn your trigger into treasures.
00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:13.039
Let me know when you've completed these action items.
00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:17.759
This is what I geek out on and love doing with my coaching clients.
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:26.720
It's how I've helped hundreds of high achievers change these old negative patterns into like actually a lived, positive, like trusting sense of self.
00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:29.680
And I'm excited to help you do the same.
00:27:29.920 --> 00:27:32.880
And also I wanted to credit that meditation.
00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:38.160
So that is inspired by a recycling meditation that I learned at the Hoffman process.
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:41.759
The Hoffman process has been deeply influential for me personally.
00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:46.799
Um, Hoffman and Hoffman Q2, and as a coach, how I think about the self-development space.
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:50.799
So thank you to the Hoffman process for the inspiration behind that meditation.
00:27:51.119 --> 00:28:00.720
And please like and subscribe this video if it was successful in your in helping support your trigger journey along the way.
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:03.759
And let me know what other topics you want to hear me talk about.
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:16.079
So I will be here next week, mocktail in hand, ready to dish the dirt to change our lives while having fun, while just chit-chatting, drinking our mocktails together.
00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:20.720
And I will see you next week for more powerful stuff.
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:30.319
Hey you.
00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:33.279
Thank you for coming on this powerful journey with me.
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:37.279
I hope it was as powerful for you as it was for me.
00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:46.960
And if it was, it would mean the world to me if you rate, review, and subscribe to powerful stuff so I can keep bringing you the goods.
00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:49.680
We can keep going on this transformative journey together.
00:28:49.839 --> 00:28:58.480
And if there's powerful stuff that you want to share with me, with the powerful stuff community, tag us on Instagram at that's powerful stuff or the Meredith Baker.
00:28:58.559 --> 00:29:02.799
And I look forward to seeing you next week for more powerful stuff.
00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:22.719
Hello everyone, here with my De Swa Hot Margarita, ready to talk to you about why is everything triggering us right now?
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:29.760
Why does it feel like that scene in Bruce Almighty where he's like, smite me, Almighty Smiter?
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:35.280
You know, when you're like, could another thing happen and another thing happened and another thing happened?
00:00:35.359 --> 00:00:38.159
And you're like, why me?
00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:41.039
Is change even possible?
00:00:41.520 --> 00:00:43.200
What are we doing here?
00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:48.479
Am I just meant to fly at this low frequency for the rest of my life?
00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:49.840
Have no fear.
00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:52.000
Open your mocktail too.
00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:58.240
This one does taste like a little spicy marg, if you will.
00:00:58.399 --> 00:01:05.760
Um, been on the mocktail train for quite some time, and this is powerful stuff, if I do say so myself.
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:10.480
Anyhow, if that's you, if you're just like, why is everything triggering me?
00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:17.519
I've done the work, I've had all the peak experiences, the coaching, the therapy, the Hoffman process, blood medicine journeys.
00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:19.599
I'm like, no, you, just me.
00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:35.920
Um, and you're gonna learn why it's happening, how to embrace it, what to do about it, and how to turn it into the alchemy so you come back better, faster, stronger, more powerful on the other side.
00:01:36.079 --> 00:01:48.000
And not while making this the Olympics of self-development, because we are not about who can take ourselves the most seriously, who is the most healed, who is the most profound inner child.
00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:58.640
No, it's gonna be through play, because I believe the playful state is the powerful state, and self-amusement is actually the advanced form of self-awareness.
00:01:58.799 --> 00:02:04.400
So we can be in awareness hell, we can be in Dante's inferno of these triggers, right?
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:18.319
I'm I keep choosing this emotionally unavailable person because some part of me believes that I am not enough or I don't ask for the raise because I've been damaged from using my voice ever since I didn't speak up on the playground when I was six.
00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:20.800
Whatever it is, it's great to have awareness.
00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:24.240
Don't get me wrong, awareness is the perfect first step.
00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:31.840
But when we stay in this awareness hill, what can happen with these triggers is that it reinforces an old story.
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:35.039
And then that's exactly what our inner saboteur wants.
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:37.680
They want us to be like, see, change isn't possible.
00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:45.840
I guess that this is the devil that I know, and I will just keep burning in the seventh circle of Dante's Inferno.
00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:47.599
I don't know what the seventh circle is.
00:02:47.759 --> 00:02:49.280
Maybe it's awareness hell.
00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:57.919
That would be really hot, probably hotter than your hottest hot yoga mixed with a sauna on a hot desert day.
00:02:58.240 --> 00:03:04.240
And we all love a good hot yoga, hot sauna, but there is such a thing as too hot.
00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:06.879
All of that's to say, guys.
00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:10.159
So let's break it down.
00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:15.439
We get triggered a lot when we are actually on the brink of a breakthrough.
00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:25.280
And the reason is this we've been doing all the manifestation, all the work, and we're like ready to fly high, ready to push the pedal to the metal.
00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:29.360
But theoretically, you know, we think we have the codes.
00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:31.120
Have we walked the fire yet?
00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:33.520
No, we've done our little practice runs.
00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:41.120
You may have done the uh the little like parent taught driver's ed, but have you gone on the 405 and rush hour?
00:03:41.439 --> 00:03:42.319
No, right?
00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:43.840
It's all theoretical.
00:03:44.080 --> 00:03:47.759
And so the universe is like, okay, yeah, you think you can operate at that level?
00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:48.960
Show me.
00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:54.400
Because with great power comes great responsibility, a Spider-Man would say.
00:03:54.719 --> 00:04:00.960
And what is happening is when these triggers are bothering us, we're becoming more and more attuned, right?
00:04:01.039 --> 00:04:04.240
Our nervous system is more and more aggravated, we're more and more aware.
00:04:04.479 --> 00:04:09.759
Whereas before we might just let them slide, or the triggers might just be part of our everyday.
00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:15.520
They're bothering us even more now because we are a hermit crab that has outgrown its shell.
00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:19.839
We are a hermit crab that's saying, This shell is too fucking tight.
00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:22.720
I need to move, and I need to move like yesterday.
00:04:22.959 --> 00:04:46.720
But we stay in these triggers because we would much rather be in this old, familiar, too tight show than risk being naked and exposed, having to leave our shell, be naked, and go to the bigger shell that is on the other side, that is more spacious, that we're gonna feel awkward in because we need to grow into our britches, we need to expand into that shell.
00:04:46.959 --> 00:04:49.120
And so, how do we do this?
00:04:50.319 --> 00:04:56.720
Well, the good news is that it all starts with how we respond to the trigger.
00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:05.920
So when we respond to the trigger by saying, Oh, this always happens, change isn't possible, it's kind of like, um, you know, if you believe it, and so it is, right?
00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:24.399
Like, okay, well, then if you believe change isn't possible and you're choosing not to believe that it's not possible, and then you're gonna keep doing this old reaction that keeps helping reinforce I am not enough, you're gonna stay in that old belief, even if your intellectual self is like, I don't want this, I'm ready for that partner, I'm ready for that promotion or whatever.
00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:31.360
The problem is our inner child feels safe replicating that old story over and over and over.
00:05:31.759 --> 00:05:35.439
Just because it feels safe doesn't mean our intellectual self wants it, right?
00:05:35.519 --> 00:05:38.560
But it's like what feels safe, what feels familiar to our inner child.
00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:44.079
So how we break this is actually being like, mm, this is that old trigger.
00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:48.399
This is right where I get like the most annoyed, the most fired up.
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:53.360
This is right where I want to like do the thing that that just like is like the junk food in the moment, right?
00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:58.959
Where I want to like shut that person out, or I want to lash out, or I want to hide and not use my voice, right?
00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:05.600
Whatever that like junk food is for you that feels so safe in the moment, but that you lash yourself for afterward.
00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:16.959
When we say this is the moment where I would usually do that, and uh, I'm gonna take a pause, and I'm gonna take a breath.
00:06:17.600 --> 00:06:25.759
And what would the me who like already knows I deserve this do?
00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:31.360
What would the me who knows this is all like a simulation do for funsies that's different?
00:06:31.600 --> 00:06:49.040
You know, like if I um knew that I like deserved this job, deserved this raise, instead of being like paranoid that my manager hates me, I'd, you know, show up with like this funny amount of confidence that is usually like so inaccessible to me.
00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:53.519
And I would just have fun with it because it'd be like, okay, this or something greater, right?
00:06:53.759 --> 00:07:01.439
What is that new shift of that you who like already knows they have it or who knows that like it's not that serious?
00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:03.680
Like, if if not this, something greater.
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:09.519
If not this, it means something even better for the you who knows they are enough, who knows they deserve it, will have.
00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:21.839
So it's like in that trigger moment, first creating that space, stretching the space between the awareness and response, because in that space is where our whole being changes.
00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:23.360
It's where we get to make a new choice.
00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:26.639
That new choice leads to a new data point.
00:07:26.800 --> 00:07:36.560
That new data point leads to a new belief about what's possible that helps start to reinforce safety in this area that once felt gray and scary to our inner child.
00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:37.600
Wow.
00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:45.839
Let's just take a little mock toe moment to sit in that space to enjoy that gray area.
00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:47.600
Ugh.
00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:48.480
Wow.
00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:56.480
Just to like revel in it, to like love the discomfort, you know, when you're in like a yoga pose and you're like, ooh, this feels uncomfortable.
00:07:56.639 --> 00:08:02.879
I feel like I'm about to like have this huge release in my half pigeon, and it like hurts so good, you know.
00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:04.639
And I just kind of breathe into it.
00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:09.120
It's that, it's like the pleasure and pain both dancing together, like an orgasm, right?
00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:12.240
Kind of like in an orgasm where you're almost like, oh my god, should this stop?
00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:13.040
What's happening?
00:08:13.199 --> 00:08:17.040
Ah, and then it happens, and you're like, what a relief.
00:08:17.199 --> 00:08:20.000
But also like, what an unexpected, uncontrollable feeling.
00:08:20.160 --> 00:08:29.519
But it's almost like to get there, you have to allow that discomfort, that surrender, that letting down of your metaphorical and literal hair.
00:08:29.839 --> 00:08:35.600
Okay, let's just take a second to recap to make sure we are all on the same page.
00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:38.240
So, first we're like, everything's triggering me.
00:08:38.399 --> 00:08:41.279
Why means change isn't change isn't even possible.
00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:43.279
That's where we do our first reframe.
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:44.879
Oh, everything's triggering me.
00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:48.240
That means I'm on the inflection point of big change.
00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:55.360
That means even when I can't see it reflected in my external reality, I'm choosing to trust because trust only exists in times of uncertainty.
00:08:55.519 --> 00:08:58.799
And if I'm being triggered, that must mean I'm being excavated.
00:08:58.879 --> 00:08:59.840
I'm being unearthed.
00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:04.480
My foundation is being shaken in all the areas because the universe knows I'm ready to up-level.
00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:09.360
So let me step the fuck up because I am ready to put my skills to use.
00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:18.320
It's like my husband does MMA, and he's always like on the street when we're walking, like ready to defend me, right?
00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:20.399
Like ready to like put his skills into action.
00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:23.519
So it's like having that same sort of excitement for your triggers.
00:09:23.600 --> 00:09:26.240
Like, I fucking worked on this and powerful stuff with Meredith.
00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:28.240
Like, I am so excited to be triggered.
00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:29.600
I welcome this trigger.
00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:31.279
Please trigger, come.
00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:33.600
Because I'm excited to make a new choice.
00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:40.399
Okay, so first we've we've accepted and we know that those triggers are coming up because we are on the inflection point of growth.
00:09:40.639 --> 00:09:41.840
Wow, you're amazing.
00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:42.799
So brave.
00:09:42.960 --> 00:09:44.159
Let's do it.
00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:46.399
Then we create that pause, right?
00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:49.919
When it actually is happening, when that thing is actually triggering us.
00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:55.039
Ooh, I'm not saying don't feel it, because that would be spiritual bypassing, and we don't want that.
00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:57.919
I'm saying take a second to feel it and just go that.
00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:00.320
Ooh, this is that moment.
00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:03.840
This is that moment where I'd usually react in that other way.
00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:07.360
Or as Marianne Williamson says in a return to love, she's like, this is it.
00:10:07.519 --> 00:10:10.159
This is the time where the knife enters my heart.
00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:13.120
Like, I uh I'm willing to see this differently.
00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:14.879
I'm willing to return to who I am, right?
00:10:14.960 --> 00:10:16.639
I'm willing to return to the truth of who I am.
00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:18.879
It's like that moment where you're just like, right?
00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:31.759
So that's when we take our pause, we take a sip of our metaphorical or literal mocktail, and we go, who is the me who already knows they are deserving?
00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:34.720
Who knows this is kind of like a fun little game.
00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:35.919
How do they respond?
00:10:36.720 --> 00:10:42.720
What is the cheeky thing they do if we pull ourselves out of the scene, right?
00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:44.720
And we give ourselves that bird-eye view.
00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:46.480
How can we show up differently?
00:10:47.440 --> 00:10:50.480
How can we make a new choice?
00:10:50.639 --> 00:10:52.240
What does that new choice feel like?
00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:55.759
And then ideally you implement that new choice, right?
00:10:55.919 --> 00:10:59.200
And it might feel funny or awkward at first.
00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:06.559
It's your first time doing it, first time doing anything, riding a bike, amongst other things, feels clunky, right?
00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:08.559
But you're doing it, you're shifting.
00:11:08.799 --> 00:11:21.600
And even if you shift like halfway through the trigger or you kind of start going down the old path, but you self-correct, that's still a win because you're still correcting, you know, some steps down the road versus not at all.
00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.639
Anyway, so you start to do that and then you notice how it feels.
00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:25.919
You notice the response you get.
00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:30.799
And even if it doesn't go the way you want, by the way, you can still say, I'm alive and I did it, right?
00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:41.200
Like even if that person who you really wanted, you said the honest thing and you usually don't, and they walked away, it's like, ooh, okay, they walked away, the worst thing happened, and I'm still alive.
00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:43.919
The worst thing happened, and how might this actually be the best thing?
00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:52.399
Well, they might have actually been clearing the space for someone greater, or like the job actually, like, you know, didn't give me the promotion I want and went with someone else.
00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:55.200
Okay, this is showing me that I'm like ready to move on, right?
00:11:55.440 --> 00:12:01.279
So even if you don't get the like resounding response that you want, it actually might be a gift showing you that you're ready to move on.
00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:07.440
And most importantly, you can tell your inner you, you fucking did it, you survived, you're still here.
00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:14.480
So if we can take this swing and hear a no, just imagine how many swings we can take and we can start hearing yeses, right?
00:12:14.799 --> 00:12:22.799
And then you can also on the other side of implementing that new trigger treasure turnaround, that new action.
00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:32.960
What does success feel like for me when I'm fully in that positive feedback loop of doing, doing the thing that my highest self would be doing?
00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:34.960
How do I want to feel in that?
00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:37.200
What will have shifted in my relationships?
00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:41.200
What will have shifted in my work and my connection to myself, right?
00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:52.320
And you can start to see how that isolated trigger, like maybe it's a trigger in your romantic life, then applies or ripples out and elevates your professional life, or vice versa.
00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:57.519
How speaking up in your professional life deepens intimacy in your other areas of life, right?
00:12:57.679 --> 00:12:58.960
How does success feel like?
00:12:59.120 --> 00:13:02.080
How is it rippling out in these other areas?
00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:16.399
And that is how we turn our triggers into treasures, and that is how we start to change our life by noticing that space when we are triggered, creating that awareness and that where do I go from here?
00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:20.559
Because we keep staying in awareness hull when we keep being in like little victim mode.
00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:28.480
And we can even, these are little addendums, guys, because you know we went over a lot today, and I'm really proud of you for absorbing it all.
00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:38.879
But we can get into these spirals when we start to attach ourselves to the old belief of like, of course, these triggers are happening because change isn't worthy.
00:13:38.960 --> 00:13:44.559
But when you notice that happening, you can almost like have a little cheeky um moment with that part of yourself.
00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:48.639
Like, okay, I see little Meredith who like loves to pretend she's not enough.
00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:51.519
Like, I know you're trying to get my attention.
00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:52.799
What do you need right now?
00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:53.759
Do you need a hug?
00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:54.879
Do you need acknowledgement?
00:13:55.039 --> 00:13:56.960
Do you need to like cry in the tub?
00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:57.360
Right?
00:13:57.519 --> 00:14:01.200
Because oftentimes that part of us who's like, change isn't possible.
00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:05.919
They're like a scared version of us who's just trying to keep us at that familiar level.
00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:16.080
So you want to sit them on your lap, you want to give them a little sugar-free lollipop or whole sugar lollipop, whatever kind of lollipop you want.
00:14:16.159 --> 00:14:18.639
You want to be like, hey, what's going on?
00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:19.600
I see you.
00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:20.559
I'm hearing you.
00:14:20.639 --> 00:14:24.080
And just because you let that part of you speak, it doesn't mean that it's true.
00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:26.240
That part of you just wants to be seen, right?
00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:36.000
Just as a little child is having a temper tantrum because they didn't get the toy that they want, you can still sit with them in that feeling without, you know, needing to get them that toy.
00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:41.919
And oftentimes it's just being seen and that feeling held and heard that allows them to move through that emotion.
00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:58.159
And that is the exact same thing with our saboteur voice, who's really just our scared inner child at the end of the day, who needs that little, that little hug, that little lollipop, or you know, our adult inner child who just needs that little mocktail, you know, at the end of a hard day.
00:14:58.399 --> 00:15:00.639
Um, so I'll say that.
00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:09.360
The other thing that I'll say is also, as we're making these shifts, these changes, it'll feel really hard the first few times, then it'll start to get easier.
00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:12.320
And then again, some sneaky voices might be coming in.
00:15:12.399 --> 00:15:18.960
Well, I'm making all these positive feedback loop changes, and I'm still not finding the love of my life, right?
00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:23.360
It's just helped me discern fuck boys more easily or whatever it might be.
00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:25.360
This is when we double down.
00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:28.960
Again, trust does not exist in times of uncertainty.
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:38.399
So we actually want to double down on the positive feedback loop and say, I am willing to continue to show up as my highest self, even when the external world hasn't caught up.
00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:47.279
And that is when we build the most self-trust, because it's like, regardless of what the universe brings back to me, I know I'm worth it and I'm showing up in my highest integrity right now.
00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:50.960
And that is actually when we're about to have that watershed moment.
00:15:51.200 --> 00:16:02.080
And Lacey Phillips, who teaches to be magnetic, calls this magic dark when we are feeling like we're not having any external validation of what we're ready to step into.
00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:04.000
Maybe we're also being triggered.
00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:05.600
This is when we want to double down.
00:16:05.759 --> 00:16:07.039
This is when we want to keep going.
00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:09.919
This is when we want to keep cheering ourselves on, encouraging ourselves, right?
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:11.519
It's mile 22 of the marathon.
00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:14.720
You have six more miles or four more miles to go.
00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:16.480
You've already went 22 miles.
00:16:16.559 --> 00:16:17.120
Don't give up.
00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:22.720
You see that person with that perfect sign handing you an orange, you high-five them and you're like, let's fucking go.
00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:27.120
And then something overcomes you, and you're just like, it carries you to the finish line.
00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:30.480
And that's the energy we want here for this up level.
00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:42.639
The last thing that I will say before we get into our meditation, manifestation, celebrate is that you know, it's hot work doing this thing.
00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:47.120
And that is why we want to stay fun and cheeky with it.
00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:52.960
Of course, we can have reverence for the hard things in our life that we have awareness for that we're ready to change.
00:16:53.200 --> 00:17:02.879
But part of the art of being magnetic, of attracting things and of shifting behavior, is also just having a levity of like, I take my responsibilities seriously.
00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:04.960
I'm not gonna take myself that seriously.
00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:16.720
I'm willing to kind of pretend that this is all a game like Mario 64, where each level gets harder and harder, but I get more and more stars, I get more and more expert level until I can save the princess from Bowser, right?
00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:24.480
And when we have that levity with it of like, I'm curious, let's see what happens when I do this, and we don't get stuck in the swamp of it.
00:17:24.880 --> 00:17:27.279
That is the alchemy.
00:17:27.519 --> 00:17:28.240
Oh, yes.
00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:37.039
The other thing I was gonna say, the very last thing is if there are other people in your orbit that are getting the things you want, and you're like, why are they getting the things that I want?
00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:41.119
It feels like I'm on hard mode, they're on easy mode, things are falling into their lap.
00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:45.119
This is so annoying, and you find yourself being jealous or comparing, that is okay.
00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:48.960
I'm gonna do a few episodes on jealousy and comparison, how to alchemize those.
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:55.920
But the things that I'll say briefly in this episode is, you know, it means that you're actually close.
00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:58.480
Gabby Bernstein calls this driftwood.
00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:04.960
Like when you see someone has the relationship that you want, be like, thank you, universe, for putting that person in my life, showing me that kind of love is possible.
00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:07.920
Maybe you want romantic love, but you have an incredible friendship.
00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:15.279
Like, thank you, universe, for this friendship, which shows me like the kind of relationship that I deserve and that I know can be transferred into that.
00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:19.039
If you see someone get a job opportunity that you want, wow, this person got it.
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:20.160
That's amazing for them.
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:21.920
Just imagine what's possible for me.
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:26.960
When you have that, that gratitude and amazingness, it's like that it's gonna amplify too.
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:35.440
And also when you are getting triggered, another powerful thing to do is to have gratitude for your triggers.
00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:36.319
Thank you.
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:38.640
Thank you for this experience of helping me grow.
00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:44.480
If it's a person who's triggering you, it's like internally sending them gratitude for being your teacher, for helping you grow.
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:47.680
Even if you feel like they're so annoying, they've done the most annoying things to you.
00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:54.000
I do the ancient Hawaiian prayer, uh, Pono Pono, which is like, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me.
00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:54.480
Thank you.
00:18:54.640 --> 00:19:06.400
And I lay in bed that night, like sending them that and like healing energy, thanking them for being a teacher for me to helping me unearth what is unhealed in me so I can rise up to the next level.
00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:09.759
And this gratitude shifts everything.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:13.200
So, to recap, guys, we have the triggers, we reframe them.
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.440
They're happening for us, they're happening for our growth.
00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:17.119
It's not because change isn't possible.
00:19:17.359 --> 00:19:20.640
We notice what we would usually do, how that feels, how that keeps us stuck.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:21.839
We create the space.
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:23.119
Where do we go from here?
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:24.880
What is a new and true response?
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:29.200
We do that response, we notice how it can ripple into other areas of our life.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:30.640
And then we keep going.
00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:36.319
We keep making that choice again and again and again, even when we don't have the external validation.
00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:51.359
We trust in the magic dark, as Lacey Phillips would say, and we trust in the driftwood, as Gabby Bernstein would say, with the comparison trusting, or Lacey Phillips also calls these people expanders, people who expand what's our vision of what's possible for ourselves.
00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:57.279
And then we give gratitude to our triggers and thank them for helping us grow.
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:04.400
And also thank the people in your life who are there for you, who are your lock boxes and vent boxes who are helping you move through the triggers.
00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:09.200
Like just the gratitude all around, because gratitude is the bedrock of manifestation.
00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:15.599
And when you're not sure what to do, even just like looking at all the different ways you can be grateful, it's a perfect first step.
00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:18.319
Okay, so let's take another sip of our mocktail.
00:20:20.319 --> 00:20:20.720
Wow.
00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:24.160
Feel the adaptogens pulsing through your veins.
00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:29.359
We'll go ahead and do a little trigger treasure.
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:31.119
Turn around.
00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:32.880
So we'll take a deep breath in.
00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:35.839
Take another step at the top.
00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:37.920
Exhale everything out.
00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:40.400
Two more just like this.
00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:43.039
Big, big, big breath in.
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:46.880
Breathing in all the anger that your trigger is bringing up.
00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:48.799
Exhale everything out.
00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:51.039
Third and deepest.
00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:53.440
One more sip.
00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:55.200
Exhale everything out.
00:20:56.160 --> 00:21:06.960
And as you keep your breath nice and slow, just going ahead and imagining this trigger playing out in the most unsavory way.
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:09.039
Like you and your lowest self.
00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:13.599
Maybe you say the scathing thing or you disappear.
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:20.880
Seeing it play out in your mind's eye, the worst possible outcome that keeps you stuck in your old way of being.
00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:27.920
Just noticing how that behavior in you ripples out to the other people involved in the scene.
00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:32.319
Notice how you feel then, even worse.
00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:38.079
And then noticing how it it seeps into other areas of your life.
00:21:40.079 --> 00:21:41.200
Dragging you down.
00:21:42.319 --> 00:21:55.279
And then as you feel it drag you down, zooming out and seeing how this compounding negative belief brings heaviness five, ten, twenty years down the road.
00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:59.839
Just feeling that regret mount and mount and mount.
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:10.640
And then asking that 80-year-old version of you who is just let this old pattern run rampant, victim energy, why me?
00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:13.920
Asking them what do they regret the most.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:29.359
Just acknowledging that, sitting with that heaviness, and then starting to feel that heaviness in your body, noticing where it is, maybe it's your heart, your chest, your throat.
00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:32.319
Go ahead and place both hands where you feel that heaviness.
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:40.720
And as you breathe into that heaviness, go ahead and trace it all the way back to where you might have first learned this old pattern.
00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:44.480
In childhood or adolescence, just getting a glimpse of it.
00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:52.960
Maybe a scene from your childhood where you first learned this pattern where your inner child mistakenly thought it would somehow keep you safe.
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:58.960
With compassion, just looking at them, watching it unfold.
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:06.880
And then just asking your inner child, why do they feel like this old pattern will keep them safe?
00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.640
Trusting whatever they say.
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:30.880
To trust you to try something new.
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.359
Do they need acknowledgement?
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:35.119
Reassurance?
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:36.160
What do they need?
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:40.799
Letting them know you can do that.
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:43.279
Love them no matter what.
00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.920
And you start to feel that heaviness dislodge in your body.
00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:55.039
Maybe you even get a glimpse of where your inner child inherited it from a past generation, parent or caretaker.
00:23:56.640 --> 00:24:08.720
And with full awareness, go ahead and pull that heavy old pattern out of your body, pulling it all out to you're holding that old, heavy pattern in front of you, noticing its weight, its smell, its texture.
00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:19.759
And then with both hands and your eyes closed, start to rub your hands together, transforming that pattern into something powerful, into something beautiful.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:25.839
Opening your palms and in your mind's eye, seeing this new beautiful energy that's been created.
00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:31.039
Represents your highest self.
00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:37.039
With both hands, go ahead and bring that beautiful new energy back to the part of your body where the old pattern left, breathing it in.
00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:53.519
And as you breathe it in, feel it activate every cell of your being to the truth of who you are, down to your hips, all the way up to the crown of your head, into your whole aura, your bloodstream, so you feel completely like your highest self, who always was, always will be, and always knows the truth.
00:24:53.920 --> 00:25:00.400
And with this energy of your highest self, who's grounded, who's centered, it's also playful and radiant.
00:25:00.880 --> 00:25:02.960
Go ahead and replay that trigger.
00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:07.680
But this time from your highest self, knowing how they respond.
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:12.000
With equanimity, with grace.
00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:21.039
Knowing how their response reinforces your capability, your knowing of being enough.
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:25.759
And how that assuredness then affects the other people in the scene.
00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:32.480
And how that then amplifies that sense of peace, calm, trust.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:39.359
And then how that ripples into other areas of your life, elevating and expanding other areas of your life.
00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:52.319
And then as you see it and feel it expand other areas of your life, looking at the all-knowing, omniscient you, the vitality in their eyes, the radiance in their skin.
00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:59.839
Just asking them what is the perfect next step in this situation to alchemize this trigger?
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:03.039
What is the perfect next step?
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:07.039
Trusting whatever they say.
00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:13.519
Committing to yourself right now in this moment that you're gonna do this when you finish this YouTube video.
00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:17.359
Thanking them, hugging them.
00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:22.079
And as you take a deep breath in, feeling your past, present, future self all with you, guiding you.
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:23.920
This extra space that's been created.
00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:25.359
Exhale everything out.
00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:27.359
One more breath in.
00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:31.920
As you exhale, softly open your eyes, coming back into this space.
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:34.880
Wow.
00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:43.119
You feel radiant and ready, ready to alchemize that trigger into a treasure.
00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:47.440
Write down what that old self regretted.
00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:56.559
Write down what your inner child needs from you to change and write down and take action on what your highest self says is the perfect next step for that trigger.
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Because now we've envisioned the worst, we've envisioned the best, and we can action on the best because we've already felt it in our bodies.
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And that is the most powerful stuff.
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So I'm excited to hear how you are going to turn your trigger into treasures.
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Let me know when you've completed these action items.
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This is what I geek out on and love doing with my coaching clients.
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It's how I've helped hundreds of high achievers change these old negative patterns into like actually a lived, positive, like trusting sense of self.
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And I'm excited to help you do the same.
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And also I wanted to credit that meditation.
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So that is inspired by a recycling meditation that I learned at the Hoffman process.
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The Hoffman process has been deeply influential for me personally.
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Um, Hoffman and Hoffman Q2, and as a coach, how I think about the self-development space.
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So thank you to the Hoffman process for the inspiration behind that meditation.
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And please like and subscribe this video if it was successful in your in helping support your trigger journey along the way.
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And let me know what other topics you want to hear me talk about.
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So I will be here next week, mocktail in hand, ready to dish the dirt to change our lives while having fun, while just chit-chatting, drinking our mocktails together.
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And I will see you next week for more powerful stuff.
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Hey you.
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Thank you for coming on this powerful journey with me.
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I hope it was as powerful for you as it was for me.
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And if it was, it would mean the world to me if you rate, review, and subscribe to powerful stuff so I can keep bringing you the goods.
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We can keep going on this transformative journey together.
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And if there's powerful stuff that you want to share with me, with the powerful stuff community, tag us on Instagram at that's powerful stuff or the Meredith Baker.
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And I look forward to seeing you next week for more powerful stuff.
