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Speaker 1: Hello, I'm torri Archbold. For two decades, I've nurtured the world's top performing retail brands and celebrities. Now I'm asking entrepreneurs, CEOs and influencers to share their own secrets to success. They're high as their lows, the game changing moments, and how they got to where they are today. It's a podcast equivalent of opening the best Little Black Book of Contacts Ever. If this resonates with you and you're ready to step outside of your comfort zone and into your power zone, I invite you to join my exclusive community via our website, the Powerful dash Steps dot com.
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Speaker 2: Talk about stories, Yes, story, We have got the Queen of stories herself. We have got torri Archbold at our back fence. And a little bit about Tory. She's an absolute dynamo.
00:00:43
Speaker 3: And I'll tell you what.
00:00:44
Speaker 2: My heart is happy because she's the Queen of Happy Hats too, started her own business at the age of twenty four and now she's the founder of Powerful Steps, which is an online community and platform for women making global impact. And she can just women to own this story, step into their power and take careers to the next level.
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Speaker 3: Who stories, talk about stories, powerful stories, and we want to hear your story, Tories, So welcome to the Batory.
00:01:18
Speaker 1: Tory. I that that's very Catchyer, it's so catchy. Do you know what I was growing up? Everyone was like, Tory, Tory, tell me a story, and who knew I'd have a power company that I just thought of that.
00:01:35
Speaker 2: We're welcome.
00:01:36
Speaker 4: I just have to first show you my notes that it's number twenty four. If anyone gets to see this part of our body that Mike, I lost my glasses, so I was laughing my head off this morning printing twenty four to se. So anyway I can read without glasses while I'm talking to which is pretty amazing. And so I know I'm going to throw this out. It's like you're going to shoot a rocket over to you. Zero to hero with self belief tell us about that one.
00:02:08
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure that you have both experienced this as well. I feel like at some point in our lives we reach rock bottom. But rock bottom is actually where you want to be, because then you can go sky high. So my journey began when I was in my early twenties and really no one believed in me. I mean, I was a terrible student at school. I was definitely the talker, the disruptor, the one that was always sent outside dio. What I recognized was it was actually my superpower. I love that you snort because I.
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Speaker 4: Sna you too. So sorry. Some people think we're doing something else work, we're laughing, we're laughing.
00:02:54
Speaker 1: We're definitely laughing. And so self belief struck me at a really young age because I reckoned that when no one else was going to believe in my pathway, that I had the choice that I could believe in myself. And so what I decided to do after falling in love with, you know, storytelling, a meetia and entertainment, when I backed myself and went across to the UK and got to work with some pretty amazing entertainment companies like MTV, Columbia, TriStar, George Lucas Films, and I was like bigger names, big names. It was like the Spice Girls. I got to watch them as they were coming out, you know, and Howard Stern, who was the biggest shock jock you probably remember in America, Yes, the cusp of I was on the cusp bit of it. Yeah, And you know, obviously reading rapidly all the magazines and I'm in the studios with these incredible challenge and I come back to Australia and I recognized that it's not really happening and I need to work out how I can actually build a business that sets my heart on fire. So I went around and I started coffee dating because I had absolutely no money in the bank.
00:03:58
Speaker 4: Was that your I did coffee dating or well?
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Speaker 1: My dad always said to me everyone loves a long lunch in Australia, and of course they do overseas as well, and in those days that's how you basically did business. But I didn't have the money to take people to lunch and drink you know, bottles of Ballinger as you see on ab fab. So it was like, find a really good coffee shot where you're going to be seen, you're going to be heard, ask people for coffee, and really build a sense of community and a business purpose around that. So I did, and I started committing to three coffee dates a week and I was, yeah, really good, it's a connection. It is out of connection. So it was one with someone I knew, one with someone I wanted to partner with, and one with someone completely outside of my comfort zone.
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Speaker 4: Oh, every week you listening to it, let's just can we just repeat that one that was someone possibly with that you can partner with.
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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the second one is someone you want to partner, we.
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Speaker 4: Partner with us in relationship, well business.
00:04:54
Speaker 1: Business relationship like partnership.
00:04:56
Speaker 4: And then and the friendship was the first.
00:04:58
Speaker 1: One tribe community, so someone in. And then the third one is someone completely outside your comfort zone. That was the intention, but that's the framework that actually launched my business, because.
00:05:12
Speaker 2: When framework isn't it my second.
00:05:14
Speaker 1: Business as well? And I truly believe like a lot of rejection came from those coffee dates. I don't want to just say it was all glossy, because the idea was, you know, I want to start a brand communications agency. I want to attract the world's top performing brands, celebrities and influencers. And of course there are a whole lot of chuckles and snorting as well. And I remember, in particular, this guy that I'd been dating many years before I went and I took him for a coffe date because he worked in advertising, was bills in Crown Street, Surry Hills, and he literally was like, Tory, I don't think this is a very good idea. You need to go off, get married, have a white pick of fence, just like in your picture over there, and join a few clubs and a man's going to really look after you and you're gonna have a really fabulous life. And I remember walking out of there going well, fuck you. Yeah, I am the leader of my own destiny. I just said to myself, I know that I'm here for a high purpose and I know that I can make a difference, and so I did. And no one in Australia, once I decided that I wanted to launch Torstar, would give me a go great name too, Yeah, Torstar. Yeah. So that came from, you know, me calling up a colleague and an advertising agency and I said, I've actually quit my job and I'm starting this business. I don't know what to call it, and he goes, well, we always called you Tori's a little star, so why do you call it toll Star. So that's where the name came from.
00:06:36
Speaker 2: And I just asked you there, where did you get your confidence at the age of twenty four to do this? Was it with your dad backing behind you? Was it from already life experience for traveling and you had.
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Speaker 4: That behind you self?
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Speaker 2: Belated Yeah, because you know, I'm guessing you hadn't hit rock bottom at that stage, but you had that confidence, so a lot of kids don't so necessari people that kids between twenties. Yes, So where did you think that came from?
00:07:03
Speaker 1: And it just came from the fact that I knew that I could create something. And just because someone says no, it doesn't mean that you have to say no. You can say yes. So I just started saying yes. Some the doors of opportunities started opening up. But I want to say, when I turned forty four, I decided that I was going to create powerful Steps and I did go and see quite a few people and I did the same coffee date and Larry edmore, if you're listening to this, you told me not to start powerful steps as well, Larry, I said, I'm not sure that that's a really good idea. It was like it was the same process that I went through. But again, I could have chosen to believe those people that this business would not create an impact, but the opposite happened because I backed myself again. So I really feel that if you really believe in something, you're passionate about it, and you step into it, with you know, some really strong values that are anchored to all of your decision making. You can attract whatever it is that you put out there into the universe and you can actually have that impact. So in answer to your question, I think rejection is really important because rejection actually allows you to believe in the possibilities yourself of what you can create.
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Speaker 4: But how many times when you were rejected you'd you go, maybe they're right, because it's only human nature at times to say or feel yeah, or think, of.
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Speaker 1: Course, do you know what? If I counted, we'd be here all day. So I really think that you've just got to push that aside and go what is it that I want. I don't have any competition, None of us have any competition. It's about staying in your own lane and owning what you want to do and just going for it.
00:08:35
Speaker 4: And that is clear vision, clevision, and passion.
00:08:38
Speaker 1: Clear intent, and also anchor everything to your value. So throughout my my entire career has been based on three so passion, creating and building brands, and now creating and building powerful brands for women. Yes, integrity because I don't like assholes, who does, honestly? And the third one is delivery. You'r own these God, is this podcast child? Or paying for you knowledge to someone else? And so through passion, integrity delivery, what you do is you get a golden thread of decision making. So if people want to reject that, that's okay. But maybe they're not anchored to that value set. Maybe they're not meant to be on that right of life with you. Maybe you're not meant to take them on your journey. So what happens is the higher you vibrate and the so what that means. Yeah, So the higher you vibrate, it's like, Okay, you can walk into any room anyway, anywhere in the world, and you can get someone say yes to you because you're magnetizing and you're in your complete power, because you believe in what you're doing. You're anchor to your truth. You work with integrity, and you know the importance of paying for your wisdom.
00:09:39
Speaker 4: And I think that was us for the podcast, really, wasn't it.
00:09:41
Speaker 1: Oh?
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Speaker 2: Absolutely? You know we're always straight away with let's do a podcast. You know what do you think Gyanta's gone straight back bang with the list this big and it just happened because we just new straight away do what you love, love what you do.
00:09:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's the moss.
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Speaker 2: It really is that for us. So even when we start, so if we can help one person, yeahhoochieved God alone ourselves because we enjoyed Jay's company and we did from our very first podcast. It was just and so then it's just like we're on the path.
00:10:09
Speaker 4: Of absolutely and I just believe. And it's funny. I couldn't help but think about years ago when I was in New York and I had Wendy, my sister, Wendy Heather was a designer at her range over my arm and I'm running around New York and no, no, no, you can't come in. And I walked in to Sexith Avenue and I went, Hi, I have an appointment. I didn't have an appointment. And they said who with? And someone had told me a name and I said with some and so I said, but I'm running late, rang straight through, went up there and they said who are you? I said, walked in. There was five people and I said, I'm from Australia. I've got a range. You've got to said. I was hanging up. Where they're all going, who's this woman? They ended up buying the stuff. They couldn't believe my how bolshie I was and go ozzy ossie whatever. But I was determined this was great and it was going to work. But it's funny, it's like it's a mindset, isn't it a mindset?
00:11:04
Speaker 1: And it's getting out of your own way. And also you saw an opportunity and you thought, no one's opening a door, so I'm going to open it myself.
00:11:11
Speaker 2: That's exactly that's true, very powerful. And also I guess too if someone may think shut that door or said no, you would have found another door.
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Speaker 4: Absolutely.
00:11:25
Speaker 2: What tips would you say for people to build that resilience because still is not everyone has that thing of going. You can get knocked back and they can really take it personally, And even though, what sort of tips would you say for people to sort of like really get that resilience so you don't sort of like really take it too badly and they fall in a heap.
00:11:43
Speaker 1: No, No, it's a great question. So you know, when I had Torsa, we were attracting all of these incredible brands, but quite often there would be brands that we wouldn't attract, and I'd send to myself for why. But then I had to switch my thinking to that door's not meant for me, that doors meant for someone else, and I wish them every success and something bigger and better is going to land in my lap. Bing go ye as that. So if you switch your mindset and second bit of advice in and it does revolve around marinading and shit, which I'm sure that lots of people will actually really it is a bit of a come to Jesus moment. But when I was having me it literally is when I was having my transformation, I was like, get out of your own way, toy. I sat with this Buddhist monk in Thailand and he said to me, you got three choices. You've got a really big challenge at the moment. And I'm sure a lot of people going through divorces or separations on your podcast will relate to this like that's stuck. I was stuck in the biggest pile of shit ever and I could not maneuver my way out of it. And he said to me, You've got three choices. You're at the halfway back of your life. You can either marinate in this challenge and this situation for another forty five years in which you're going to be living life sniffing shit. And I was like, oh, and is that in this pristine office, in this you know, in this close they're like, oh my god, you're talking about marinating shit. Second thing is he said, you can look at the challenge and you can be in it for forty five minutes. You can kind of struggle, you can make a few mistakes. It's okay within those forty five minutes. But you're going to sniff the ship not as badly as forty five years because you're not getting out of your own way. And he goes, you will be in your complete power when you don't even sniff the ship and that challenge comes your way and within forty five seconds you've made up your mind. Doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, but you're on your path.
00:13:27
Speaker 4: Well that's a lot. There's something else you was saying, Sorry, we're back to shit. I mean you're saying that there's a pile of shit. If there's a pile of shit over there, it's your choice whether some problems are like a pile of shit was it's your choice whether you choose to step in that or not. And I know that's back to shit. But it really made a lot of sense to me, Like we all have proble.
00:13:51
Speaker 1: You've got the three options, but it's the same as like doors are opening, so you've got to make your mind up in forty five seconds. What door are you going to want through? Are you going to say yes? Are you going to say no?
00:14:02
Speaker 2: And sometimes is it as simple as that, you know, like just with the mind shift there. So I think it's good for just listeners to hear that that sometimes it really is just that mind shift of going flick you know there, stay.
00:14:14
Speaker 4: There because everyone complicates it and you got to lose, but try and go there.
00:14:18
Speaker 1: That's exactly right, That is exactly you've got to try no.
00:14:22
Speaker 4: So yeah, I'll try again tomorrow exactly.
00:14:25
Speaker 1: And that's the beauty of it because he said to me, if you make a mistake in your mind, right, yeah, if you make a mistake in your mind, don't beat yourself up about it. Just give yourself forty five years, forty five minutes, or forty five seconds. And also, mistakes are good. We all make them. We make them every day.
00:14:41
Speaker 2: The lessons in life, aren't they, No, So we have to be people appreciate honesty to you truth. That's a really positive way of saying I love that positive way of rejection too, is that it actually wasn't meant for me or maybe not this timing now, and wish them the best as well. I think that's a good thing.
00:14:59
Speaker 1: You've got to pay for with gratitude, because gratitude breeds gratitude, happiness breeds happiness. But also when you're in flow and you don't look at what other people haven't say I want that, but you're actually in flow because you know that something better is coming your way. That's actually the ultimate way to live life.
00:15:16
Speaker 4: When you say flow, what does flows be?
00:15:18
Speaker 1: In complete alignment? So you know you hear about Matthew mcconachey in The green Light Process. Yeah, it's such a great book. He's the only one that I've ever asked for an autograph and he rejected me. No, but you know what we've got, she's so beautiful. That was not a green light.
00:15:43
Speaker 4: And that's funny talking about alignment and what I don't know what that means. What's alignment alignment means?
00:15:50
Speaker 1: I'll give you an example. So when I was running my agency, I pulled back because for personal reasons. I just want to spend more time with my family and I wanted to get out of that forty five years, right, So I was really focusing on what was my flow, what was my way forward. But what happened during that process was I allowed other people to run my business in which I wasn't as involved, right, so I'm not out there, no one really knows what I'm doing. So we were launching Kate Spade into Australia and my team were like, Tory, you got to get up early. I know you don't like getting up early, but you need to come along and meet all these people. It's really important for the business. So up, I get put MSCA on fur coat going and I learned that this company that also licenses Kate Spade licenses a whole lot of other brands that were on my manifestation board, right, but they have no idea who I am. So they said to me, who are you? And I said, I'm Tory and this is my agency. And they're like, oh, we don't know anything about you. Tell us about your company. And so I literally had less than sixty seconds to make an impact because guess what, they were launching Victoria's secret in this market. Six weeks later, so I said to them, m'd be very interest I staid in pitching for that business. And they said to me, no, guess what, there are three other agencies. We're down to the wire. And I said, look, why don't I descend through my credentials. Let's just see what happens. I've got nothing to lose. Maybe you can gain something. And she said, okay, no problem. So I explained to them that I launched Zara into Australia. I explained to them what I've done with other Australian businesses and taking them launches.
00:17:22
Speaker 2: Just throw exactly, that's massive, that is how well is a good one?
00:17:27
Speaker 1: Ah in my early thirties. Yeah, so as a single mama. But it was teamwork. It was teamwork with Interdex, which is actually the number one retail brand in the world now. So I just I mean, I reminded them with those credentials. I went back to the office and I said, we're irrelevant. I don't know how this has happened, but we need to go back and find our power. So we use the case studies of like, you know, twenty two thousand people in the day of launch for Czara a million dollars in sales, and then we gave other examples and about four or five hours later I sent it off. So it was early evening. They're in New York, and I just said to myself, whatever's meant to be will be. And this is where the green lights come into process, right because they're like, no way, three agencies are shortlisted. You can send it through, but whatever, You're one of two agencies. At eleven o'clock that night and I was like, oh my gosh, we are in. But guess what. These people probably have been speaking and building a relationship for many, many weeks and months before me. So we got onto Instagram and I did flashbacks to all of my hero things. So we've been at the time looking after Sea Folly, we Shigi Ha did and you know, Miranda coernel these things. So flashback to when we did this campaign, flashback to when we did Sarah don't dn't dun't. So then I got on LinkedIn. I thought, who do I know that can give this girl in New York a coffee? Because an Espresso is my client. So I thought, I'm gonna lie myself up in the morning. I'm gonna have an espresso, She's gonna have a Starbucks? What does she drink? And who's going to put it on her desk before she gets on zoom with me. That's how I won the business. But this is the really interesting thing about the Green Lights. While I got Victoria's secret and I got to go to the last show in New York, I then got a call from Steve Madden's office. We've been looking for an agency in Australia. How come we don't know about you? Again, I'm irrelevant because I wasn't putting myself out there. Put yourself out there. So they said, okay, no pitch nothing. You're launching Steve Mudden into Australia. So I was like, okay, second one. This all happened within weeks. And then, because of my coffee dating every time I went to the States, I always for my partnership coffee date met with an agency out there that I thought had the best influences, the best connections, and I said, I look after Australian brands. How can we connection and work together? So out of the blue, I get an email from an agency in La Toy. My friend's launching a beauty brand in Australia would you be interested in launching it? And I was just like yes, no problem. Didn't ask her, it was just was like yes, next one, Drew Barrymore Flower Beauty. So within a month to six weeks, I had the biggest brands in America saying what you're say if.
00:20:01
Speaker 4: You're back to Alignment and green Light? My god, yeah, you had you and Flow. So it was just circulating coming back to you, coming back to.
00:20:11
Speaker 1: But I had to step back into what I knew I was good at, and I had to tap into my connections because your connections are always going to endorse and advocate for you, and I had to stay true to what it was that I wanted to create for these brands, but I had to show them that I could.
00:20:29
Speaker 4: But the motivation for all of that, ultimately you were coming back because you said I was a line. So that's self belief that I have this potential I could do that.
00:20:40
Speaker 1: Because when someone says you're irrelevant and they don't know who you are, that kind of is a bit of a yes stab in turn, because especially in a Korea that you've worked so hard for, but I'd also chosen to step away from, so it was my choice to step back into it. Yeah, this is who I am.
00:20:58
Speaker 4: That's really admirable and so many ways, because I'm sure there's people that are born and lived and died and never actually felt that flow. Do you know what I mean? And I'm sure the people listening go, what is that?
00:21:09
Speaker 3: This?
00:21:09
Speaker 4: Read Matthew's book for starters. It is red light.
00:21:16
Speaker 2: With this toury, so believe, whether it's in a business or not. So you've got listeners there who might be interested in building their businesses or doing that just.
00:21:22
Speaker 4: The flow of life. But that's sort of the thing too.
00:21:25
Speaker 2: It's very true there friends sometimes that might have dropped away, maybe ones that should drop away at that stage of your life, and the other ones will flowing.
00:21:33
Speaker 4: It's true. It's a thing.
00:21:35
Speaker 1: They're like nature, real life lesson.
00:21:42
Speaker 2: I've got to ask you now with George Clooney because now you're the coffee one there.
00:21:46
Speaker 1: Have you met me or not? Because I want to hear a really funny story. I was appointed to look after Fossil Group in Australia with a really beautiful lady called Anime. And if she's listening to this podcasts, in fact, to Anime, I'll send you the link because you're absolutely roar with laughter. So in those days, we used to take the magazines overseas with us, as you know, and we go and do the big media events. And there was an event that was going on in Milan, and so everyone because she was the only female and she was surrounded by all these men, George Clooney is going to be at this party outside of Milan. We need to organize pr you need to bring your team over. So anime, can I get on the plane. I set up all the media. We're going to be meeting George and we're going to be doing all these amazing things. It was a joke.
00:22:33
Speaker 4: Oh are you kidding me?
00:22:35
Speaker 1: I am not kidding you. No, I am not kidding. I am not kidding. Yeah, to a castle with the managing director of Fossil At the time.
00:22:49
Speaker 4: I'm trying to find the here and the stores here. So who's the joke on?
00:22:55
Speaker 1: You know, the joke was supposed to be on us and the man in the business had you know, she's still in the business and she is an exceptional leader, like she's extraordinary. But back in the day, that's what men in businesses used to do with it.
00:23:09
Speaker 4: Interesting yeah, so funny. I bet you made the most of it, knowing exactly I read forty two you slightly bored and thinking this isn't exactly going the way I planned. At the moment where am I at? And you redesigned your sense of purpose? Can you explain that to us?
00:23:35
Speaker 1: What starts with the green lights? So I got those three brands, but then what I learned from each of those brands was something about myself, something that I wanted and something that I didn't want. So when I was at the Victoria's Secret Show in New York, my role was to get all the interviews with the supermodels over there, and what I recognized backstage then was were all the same. Because one of them had a really big panic attack, and like any good pr girl, you have love and oil in your bag, and I saved her from the panic attack. And I recognized that you might be in a really privileged position to be working with all of these brands, in these celebrities, but at the end of the day, we're all human, and if you can show empathy and compassion to someone else and allow them to shine, then that's a really good business model.
00:24:20
Speaker 4: So a light bulb went on your head in my head and what happened from there.
00:24:24
Speaker 1: So from there we then launched Steve Madden into Australia. Then we had Drew Barrymore and I was listening to Drew speak about, you know, her whole adventurous life, and I thought, well, gosh, I've had an adventurous life as well. But she wanted to get a talk show when she left Australia, and she was really waiting for that call to come through. And I really wanted a different life. So I just met my soon to be husband. My daughter was happy, like everything was just like everything was. I was in a really good place and I'd had the green lights on those three brands. And I saw her speak and I was like, you know what, I think my pr crews over.
00:24:59
Speaker 4: And I never had a.
00:25:00
Speaker 2: Photo's interesting affected by Drew, like you know, you brought it the energy and then she's helped you.
00:25:08
Speaker 4: And she was waiting for that phone call.
00:25:10
Speaker 1: So she was waiting for the phone call for that. And then what had happened was because we'd partnered with Mary Clare Magazine to you know, promote her because I loved Nicki Briger and Nicki had said to me toy, can I do a story on you. We've never done a story on you, but it's going to be on single moms with global careers. And something inside of me said, that's not my story, and that's an.
00:25:33
Speaker 4: Interesting She repeated that to you back to you. Yeah, and you listened to that, and when that's not my story, that's not sitting right with me.
00:25:41
Speaker 1: Yeah. So what had happened was four months before Drew had come out, I'd worked with this amazing journalist called Ali Pasco, and for some reason, I just opened up and I'd never ever actually opened up to anyone, and she gave me that sacred space and then she said to me, this is Jeff, not a single mom's story in the global business. She said, it's something bigger. Would you be interested in the feature?
00:26:05
Speaker 3: Now?
00:26:05
Speaker 1: They wrote three pages, and they interviewed Bella, they interviewed me, but I said to them, can you please put the story on hold because it's not just my story, it was my daughter's story. And I really needed her buy in because there's a lot of shame around what goes on when you are stalked for as intimidated, you know, by a partner or a father or a friend or whatever it is. And we've never publicly spoken about that before because my life was you know this glamorous publicists thinking.
00:26:34
Speaker 4: A whole lot of this truth is surface, it's just coming push it down.
00:26:39
Speaker 2: This life, this internal part of your life, there's a lot of suffering. There's a lot of hiding things as well and also protecting things.
00:26:47
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to, absolutely, and you were really crossroads.
00:26:51
Speaker 1: I was on Complain which runway down and so so yeah, it's a really powerful time in your life. So four months later we decided yes, and then Mary Claire was like, oh, well, you know, we'll put it in the issue with Drew, and I said, no, it needs to be after Drue because Drew's the star. And then yeah, so she got her talk show and I got my new life and.
00:27:19
Speaker 4: What is the new life?
00:27:21
Speaker 1: So I ended up meeting my soulmate and within ten months he proposed, we got married. We've now got a blended family, we're out in business together, we travel the world. Powerful Steps Okay, so.
00:27:33
Speaker 4: What is Powerful Steps?
00:27:34
Speaker 1: It is an online platform for women just like you and I like all the things I've gone through. You know, you're at across the road in life.
00:27:42
Speaker 4: What do you do.
00:27:43
Speaker 1: You've had great success in your life, but you say there's more.
00:27:47
Speaker 4: Who do I want to become?
00:27:48
Speaker 1: What I want to step into? Exactly why you guys have started this podcast. You've got something to give and you've got wisdom to pay forward. So I now work with women all around the world, you know, from entreprene to you know mums had really successful careers and then decided that, you know, my kids have now left school, what do I do? I'm going to watch a multimillion dollar business to CEOs board directors. And on top of that, we just launched another business called her World International. World her World International with a friend of mine, with a TV show out of New York and our first event is in la in.
00:28:24
Speaker 4: October, Yaho. That's exciting, that's really exciting.
00:28:28
Speaker 1: I want to be able to give Australian female leaders, entrepreneurs or women that just need to get that little bit of love in the room from a powerful community and access to other markets and.
00:28:39
Speaker 4: Age because we're really like fifty plus target market. But quite honestly, you talk about Antonia Kidman like my god, she had am I right, six kids and she went yes, like tell us about that. That's pretty remarkable at that age of six kids to say it's about me. Now I'm going to go and study law.
00:29:02
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had a coffee date with and in Singapore again, a nice coffee date. So she was in my tribe and she was studying when she had those kids. And now she's a family lawyer, and you know, she's had an extraordinary journey. But she just said I've got something more as well. And it was her passion, I guess because of what she'd gone through with her ex to actually help other.
00:29:22
Speaker 2: People, you know what that's now it's so good hearing more and more stories like that because there's more and more people like even Jodie Spears, you know, to Ben Fordham, successful TV presenter and aka she's now studying to.
00:29:33
Speaker 3: Be all lawyer herself.
00:29:35
Speaker 1: Like, wow, these are people top of their game. Yeah, age is just a number. So I started my first business at twenty four, my second at forty four, and this will be the runway. And I just had a lady who runs a billion dollar business joined my business Attraction program. She's sixty six. Wow, there you go, and she's she's sixty six pick up sticks and she said, I've got more to give can you help me? And I'm like, I absolutely can. Age is just a number.
00:30:01
Speaker 2: Well there you go or listeners to hear that too, So it's just great. And so can you tell us about with your master classes that you offer and you do and tell us a bit about that.
00:30:10
Speaker 1: Well, we're going to offer something to your community. Actually, I really believe that if you've got knowledge, you should pay it forward. And if you have wisdom that can actually help someone else step into their power, then you should gift it, whether it's going on a podcast, showing up on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, whatever. So we have this thing called network like a Pro which will help everyone build out their own personal brand. And also it gives you the framework further three dates a week to build a global community of coffee dating. But I'm going to give you a code. So in the show notes, that's what we're going to do. Anyone that listens can have access to that.
00:30:49
Speaker 4: And it's a master.
00:30:50
Speaker 1: It's an online master my master class and yeah, so there's videos, workbooks, and then it also gives you access to our community, the stories that we share with other people of what they remember at dinner parties, on podcasts, on coffee dates it's those little golden nuggets that actually give you the golden thread in life that allow you to step into whatever you're meant to be doing in your forties, fifties and sixties. Because if Drew hadn't have done that, I wouldn't have gone, you know what, shutting it finding everyone else a job that's amazing and you know, shut down a multi million dollars thank you.
00:31:23
Speaker 4: To thank you Tory.
00:31:25
Speaker 1: So this so listeners, come on out.
00:31:26
Speaker 4: I mean, this isn't really grot it in the show, thank you for that. You're interviewing an astrologer, and I love when she said she mentions purpose and how your purpose can change with time, you know, basically always stay tuned to universal sign backs. But see a lot of people think my sense of purpose is, oh, well, I'm going to be a lawyer and architect and engine whatever you are, and that's it. That's the end of the road. Now you're a shunning example of somebody that just listened to your body, mind and spirit and went, no, this isn't working for me right now. Others will spurn them selves out and continue through that journey. You know, I think it's reassuring for a lot of people listening that you know, that's not definitive for the rest of your life. You know, if you're feeling low energy, you're not feeling inspired, you can flip that and redirect your sense of purpose where I used to think that my sense of purpose is that, and that's what it was. Now you're a walking inspiration because you listened and you changed, You went flick and you went down this beautiful like spiritual road. It was so running out of time before was permanently running out to Was there.
00:32:40
Speaker 2: A pivotal moment when you really got sick as well that changed? Can you just share a little bit about that toury.
00:32:47
Speaker 1: So, like any good Jackie Collins novel, which we all death experience, death experience, I had death experience. So I was due on a plane to London for a high profile UK brand and I was a single mom at the time. I had twenty two staff, ten freelancers to assistants, so one for me, one to help Bella and I and of course a nanny. And there was shit flying everywhere and my appendix burst unexpectedly before I hopped on the flight. Thank goodness.
00:33:20
Speaker 4: The body will always tell you, the.
00:33:21
Speaker 1: Body will and I knew I was dying before it happened. I knew it, but I ignored all the.
00:33:26
Speaker 4: Signs because you're too busy.
00:33:28
Speaker 1: I was too busy. And then what happened was my pan burst. I felt the snap, I heard the snap, and unfortunately I was deadlocked in my house and my daughter in those days, had actually changed the code on my phone.
00:33:45
Speaker 4: How old was your daughter then?
00:33:46
Speaker 1: Eight or eight would have been? And I had to wait for someone to call me.
00:33:51
Speaker 4: What w Yeah in your appendix have.
00:33:57
Speaker 1: Burst and I could feel my body dye and had to wait for someone to call me. And so it was an ex boyfriend that was down from Hong Kong and his dad was an ex heart surgeon who called the ambulance and got me out of I had to be revived on the way to the hospital.
00:34:13
Speaker 2: So you really had that full in and out of life experience.
00:34:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, So two am in the morning, I was operated on by an amazing surgeon who basically said to me, who's your next of kin? What's going to happen to your daughter? You're a single mom. Like all these questions I was unprepared for. Yeah, And so basically I did see the other side, and will you see a white tunnel and then it goes into darkness.
00:34:40
Speaker 4: The thing everyone, Yes, it's the same thing. Yeah, Kerry Packer, even Kerry Packer, same thing.
00:34:49
Speaker 1: So I came back for my daughter and she was there for me. I was there for her, and I lost eight kilos in five days. So I always say it's good to have a little bit of extra fat.
00:34:58
Speaker 4: Yes, body, and I'll run with it.
00:35:02
Speaker 1: Yes, I run with it every day. But honestly, that that saved my life.
00:35:07
Speaker 4: How did it change your life?
00:35:08
Speaker 1: It changed my life because I was given a six month recovery, but an actual factor was three or four years, and I ended up with a dreamal fatigue, chronic fatigue. I had to rewind myself. And what I realized was I was surrounded by takers, not givers. And so it was a big thing for me. And you'll hear me speak about a lot, a mutual exchange of energy. So anyone that comes into our community powerful steps. It's sure, I've got a lot to give, but what do you have to give as well? Because unless it's that energy match, it's not right for me.
00:35:36
Speaker 4: It's an even flower, it is.
00:35:38
Speaker 1: And so when you talk about how do you attract these high vibrational people and opportunities like being on this podcast with you today. It's because there's an energy match, because you know that you're sharing something. So my recovery was all about who do I want to share my life with? And so that's why I decided not to sell my business, downsize my business. That's how I became slightly irrelevant. It's how I won full custody of my daughter in the restraining order because I created the space to work out, what are those little ship pits that are all piled around me? And one by one, yeah, making me sick, and I just stepped out, and then one by one until I came in to complete alignment.
00:36:13
Speaker 2: What did your surgeons say to you?
00:36:15
Speaker 4: How magnificent? Because this is just we were talking about this beauty.
00:36:24
Speaker 1: My doctor said to me, toy, I'm going to read meet you to a hospital unless you get rid of all your toxic family members and friends who are not allowing you to heal. And I said, I don't want to go back to hospital, but I will say no to all of them. And the surgeon said to me the same thing, and he said, I know what your problem is. You're not happy, And he had to be a piece of paper, and he goes, A happy heart is a magnet for miracles. He said, that's the way you're going to live your life now. Happy heart is a magnet for miracles, and that is how you're going to live your life from now on in I teach that.
00:36:58
Speaker 4: So he was an angel that I needed.
00:37:02
Speaker 2: Two am in the morning and we just had a fabulous Roberts and he was kind of similar, Oh my god.
00:37:09
Speaker 4: Why we run out of time. Yeah, but it's just the hell out of me.
00:37:13
Speaker 1: That's like, you're men me. It is my mattress. So if something doesn't make my happiness, it's a clear no.
00:37:19
Speaker 4: I've got fifty two thousand questions for you, and we watch you don't have a few guys on my and we will continue the and I know we're going to wind up. You know what I love most of all is that you're when you thrive, you give to others. And that's the mancha we all need to do in our community over the back fence is give back very yourself the quickly.
00:37:42
Speaker 2: Because last time, that's.
00:37:47
Speaker 4: What does she do in the show.
00:37:48
Speaker 1: Sorry, oh this is this one came from the Buddhist monk as well, he said to me, to you need to learn how to meditate, and I was like, I don't have time. I think they're going for five minutes every day. So he said to me, who do you have a shower with? So I said, it's me and that's my sanctuary. So every morning, including this morning, three drops of labond oil in how ex how it anchors me to Mother Earth, but most importantly it taps into my intuition.
00:38:15
Speaker 4: It's brilliant.
00:38:16
Speaker 1: So you get a beautiful light that comes and flows throughout your body, and then at night time you do the same thing gratitude.
00:38:23
Speaker 4: So what you're saying, don't make excuses. Do it in the shower. There's always a moment in time when you can.
00:38:28
Speaker 2: I copy you. This morning, I've got some oil and rubbed it in and.
00:38:31
Speaker 4: Said we've got to do the questions. Here we go. Yes, first question, and I think I've sort of got an idea after listening to you today. But well, if you had the opportunity of saying something to your twenty one year old self, twenty year old self, twenty two year old selvent, what would you like to say to her do it all again?
00:38:50
Speaker 1: Right?
00:38:51
Speaker 4: Because you were so young as I'm listening to him. Thank God, she's answering this question it all again, all.
00:38:58
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, absolutely, I would not change a single thing because through the rollercoaster of life, you learn about forgiveness, you learn about acceptance, and you learn that each challenge becomes a gift to make you a better person.
00:39:16
Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
00:39:16
Speaker 4: That's really sorry.
00:39:17
Speaker 2: Thank you for that is really beautiful. And if you could share a back fence with anybody on planet Earth, who would Besides, I'm.
00:39:25
Speaker 1: Actually thinking it's going to be the two of you on my podcast a neighbor.
00:39:33
Speaker 4: I want to learn more.
00:39:36
Speaker 1: I want to learn more. It's a fun to definitely do that parties last night. It all happens.
00:39:45
Speaker 4: Well, You're more than welcome.
00:39:46
Speaker 3: You're part of the tribe.
00:39:47
Speaker 2: And Bella, I'd like this is I love and you'll love.
00:39:53
Speaker 1: I can ask you the Ques.
00:39:56
Speaker 2: Boys will bring the gang over the.
00:39:58
Speaker 4: I mean, we started the Pocas because we want to inspire others. You are a walking, talking version of that. Thank you for what you do for the Earth, for everyone around you, because you are a giver.
00:40:10
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here with me today. I trust that you enjoyed listening to yet another powerful story. Sometimes we can forget just how incredible we are as women and how important it is to support each other. I'd love for you to take a moment to review the podcast and help support the show. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and share it across your social media. Be sure to tag me so that I can give you a shout out too. I'm a true believer of women supporting women, and I look forward to connecting with you again soon. Much love, Toy
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm torri Archbold. For two decades, I've nurtured the world's top performing retail brands and celebrities. Now I'm asking entrepreneurs, CEOs and influencers to share their own secrets to success. They're high as their lows, the game changing moments, and how they got to where they are today. It's a podcast equivalent of opening the best Little Black Book of Contacts Ever. If this resonates with you and you're ready to step outside of your comfort zone and into your power zone, I invite you to join my exclusive community via our website, the Powerful dash Steps dot com.
00:00:32
Speaker 2: Talk about stories, Yes, story, We have got the Queen of stories herself. We have got torri Archbold at our back fence. And a little bit about Tory. She's an absolute dynamo.
00:00:43
Speaker 3: And I'll tell you what.
00:00:44
Speaker 2: My heart is happy because she's the Queen of Happy Hats too, started her own business at the age of twenty four and now she's the founder of Powerful Steps, which is an online community and platform for women making global impact. And she can just women to own this story, step into their power and take careers to the next level.
00:01:06
Speaker 3: Who stories, talk about stories, powerful stories, and we want to hear your story, Tories, So welcome to the Batory.
00:01:18
Speaker 1: Tory. I that that's very Catchyer, it's so catchy. Do you know what I was growing up? Everyone was like, Tory, Tory, tell me a story, and who knew I'd have a power company that I just thought of that.
00:01:35
Speaker 2: We're welcome.
00:01:36
Speaker 4: I just have to first show you my notes that it's number twenty four. If anyone gets to see this part of our body that Mike, I lost my glasses, so I was laughing my head off this morning printing twenty four to se. So anyway I can read without glasses while I'm talking to which is pretty amazing. And so I know I'm going to throw this out. It's like you're going to shoot a rocket over to you. Zero to hero with self belief tell us about that one.
00:02:08
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure that you have both experienced this as well. I feel like at some point in our lives we reach rock bottom. But rock bottom is actually where you want to be, because then you can go sky high. So my journey began when I was in my early twenties and really no one believed in me. I mean, I was a terrible student at school. I was definitely the talker, the disruptor, the one that was always sent outside dio. What I recognized was it was actually my superpower. I love that you snort because I.
00:02:42
Speaker 4: Sna you too. So sorry. Some people think we're doing something else work, we're laughing, we're laughing.
00:02:54
Speaker 1: We're definitely laughing. And so self belief struck me at a really young age because I reckoned that when no one else was going to believe in my pathway, that I had the choice that I could believe in myself. And so what I decided to do after falling in love with, you know, storytelling, a meetia and entertainment, when I backed myself and went across to the UK and got to work with some pretty amazing entertainment companies like MTV, Columbia, TriStar, George Lucas Films, and I was like bigger names, big names. It was like the Spice Girls. I got to watch them as they were coming out, you know, and Howard Stern, who was the biggest shock jock you probably remember in America, Yes, the cusp of I was on the cusp bit of it. Yeah, And you know, obviously reading rapidly all the magazines and I'm in the studios with these incredible challenge and I come back to Australia and I recognized that it's not really happening and I need to work out how I can actually build a business that sets my heart on fire. So I went around and I started coffee dating because I had absolutely no money in the bank.
00:03:58
Speaker 4: Was that your I did coffee dating or well?
00:04:00
Speaker 1: My dad always said to me everyone loves a long lunch in Australia, and of course they do overseas as well, and in those days that's how you basically did business. But I didn't have the money to take people to lunch and drink you know, bottles of Ballinger as you see on ab fab. So it was like, find a really good coffee shot where you're going to be seen, you're going to be heard, ask people for coffee, and really build a sense of community and a business purpose around that. So I did, and I started committing to three coffee dates a week and I was, yeah, really good, it's a connection. It is out of connection. So it was one with someone I knew, one with someone I wanted to partner with, and one with someone completely outside of my comfort zone.
00:04:41
Speaker 4: Oh, every week you listening to it, let's just can we just repeat that one that was someone possibly with that you can partner with.
00:04:49
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the second one is someone you want to partner, we.
00:04:51
Speaker 4: Partner with us in relationship, well business.
00:04:54
Speaker 1: Business relationship like partnership.
00:04:56
Speaker 4: And then and the friendship was the first.
00:04:58
Speaker 1: One tribe community, so someone in. And then the third one is someone completely outside your comfort zone. That was the intention, but that's the framework that actually launched my business, because.
00:05:12
Speaker 2: When framework isn't it my second.
00:05:14
Speaker 1: Business as well? And I truly believe like a lot of rejection came from those coffee dates. I don't want to just say it was all glossy, because the idea was, you know, I want to start a brand communications agency. I want to attract the world's top performing brands, celebrities and influencers. And of course there are a whole lot of chuckles and snorting as well. And I remember, in particular, this guy that I'd been dating many years before I went and I took him for a coffe date because he worked in advertising, was bills in Crown Street, Surry Hills, and he literally was like, Tory, I don't think this is a very good idea. You need to go off, get married, have a white pick of fence, just like in your picture over there, and join a few clubs and a man's going to really look after you and you're gonna have a really fabulous life. And I remember walking out of there going well, fuck you. Yeah, I am the leader of my own destiny. I just said to myself, I know that I'm here for a high purpose and I know that I can make a difference, and so I did. And no one in Australia, once I decided that I wanted to launch Torstar, would give me a go great name too, Yeah, Torstar. Yeah. So that came from, you know, me calling up a colleague and an advertising agency and I said, I've actually quit my job and I'm starting this business. I don't know what to call it, and he goes, well, we always called you Tori's a little star, so why do you call it toll Star. So that's where the name came from.
00:06:36
Speaker 2: And I just asked you there, where did you get your confidence at the age of twenty four to do this? Was it with your dad backing behind you? Was it from already life experience for traveling and you had.
00:06:47
Speaker 4: That behind you self?
00:06:48
Speaker 2: Belated Yeah, because you know, I'm guessing you hadn't hit rock bottom at that stage, but you had that confidence, so a lot of kids don't so necessari people that kids between twenties. Yes, So where did you think that came from?
00:07:03
Speaker 1: And it just came from the fact that I knew that I could create something. And just because someone says no, it doesn't mean that you have to say no. You can say yes. So I just started saying yes. Some the doors of opportunities started opening up. But I want to say, when I turned forty four, I decided that I was going to create powerful Steps and I did go and see quite a few people and I did the same coffee date and Larry edmore, if you're listening to this, you told me not to start powerful steps as well, Larry, I said, I'm not sure that that's a really good idea. It was like it was the same process that I went through. But again, I could have chosen to believe those people that this business would not create an impact, but the opposite happened because I backed myself again. So I really feel that if you really believe in something, you're passionate about it, and you step into it, with you know, some really strong values that are anchored to all of your decision making. You can attract whatever it is that you put out there into the universe and you can actually have that impact. So in answer to your question, I think rejection is really important because rejection actually allows you to believe in the possibilities yourself of what you can create.
00:08:10
Speaker 4: But how many times when you were rejected you'd you go, maybe they're right, because it's only human nature at times to say or feel yeah, or think, of.
00:08:17
Speaker 1: Course, do you know what? If I counted, we'd be here all day. So I really think that you've just got to push that aside and go what is it that I want. I don't have any competition, None of us have any competition. It's about staying in your own lane and owning what you want to do and just going for it.
00:08:35
Speaker 4: And that is clear vision, clevision, and passion.
00:08:38
Speaker 1: Clear intent, and also anchor everything to your value. So throughout my my entire career has been based on three so passion, creating and building brands, and now creating and building powerful brands for women. Yes, integrity because I don't like assholes, who does, honestly? And the third one is delivery. You'r own these God, is this podcast child? Or paying for you knowledge to someone else? And so through passion, integrity delivery, what you do is you get a golden thread of decision making. So if people want to reject that, that's okay. But maybe they're not anchored to that value set. Maybe they're not meant to be on that right of life with you. Maybe you're not meant to take them on your journey. So what happens is the higher you vibrate and the so what that means. Yeah, So the higher you vibrate, it's like, Okay, you can walk into any room anyway, anywhere in the world, and you can get someone say yes to you because you're magnetizing and you're in your complete power, because you believe in what you're doing. You're anchor to your truth. You work with integrity, and you know the importance of paying for your wisdom.
00:09:39
Speaker 4: And I think that was us for the podcast, really, wasn't it.
00:09:41
Speaker 1: Oh?
00:09:42
Speaker 2: Absolutely? You know we're always straight away with let's do a podcast. You know what do you think Gyanta's gone straight back bang with the list this big and it just happened because we just new straight away do what you love, love what you do.
00:09:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's the moss.
00:09:55
Speaker 2: It really is that for us. So even when we start, so if we can help one person, yeahhoochieved God alone ourselves because we enjoyed Jay's company and we did from our very first podcast. It was just and so then it's just like we're on the path.
00:10:09
Speaker 4: Of absolutely and I just believe. And it's funny. I couldn't help but think about years ago when I was in New York and I had Wendy, my sister, Wendy Heather was a designer at her range over my arm and I'm running around New York and no, no, no, you can't come in. And I walked in to Sexith Avenue and I went, Hi, I have an appointment. I didn't have an appointment. And they said who with? And someone had told me a name and I said with some and so I said, but I'm running late, rang straight through, went up there and they said who are you? I said, walked in. There was five people and I said, I'm from Australia. I've got a range. You've got to said. I was hanging up. Where they're all going, who's this woman? They ended up buying the stuff. They couldn't believe my how bolshie I was and go ozzy ossie whatever. But I was determined this was great and it was going to work. But it's funny, it's like it's a mindset, isn't it a mindset?
00:11:04
Speaker 1: And it's getting out of your own way. And also you saw an opportunity and you thought, no one's opening a door, so I'm going to open it myself.
00:11:11
Speaker 2: That's exactly that's true, very powerful. And also I guess too if someone may think shut that door or said no, you would have found another door.
00:11:21
Speaker 4: Absolutely.
00:11:25
Speaker 2: What tips would you say for people to build that resilience because still is not everyone has that thing of going. You can get knocked back and they can really take it personally, And even though, what sort of tips would you say for people to sort of like really get that resilience so you don't sort of like really take it too badly and they fall in a heap.
00:11:43
Speaker 1: No, No, it's a great question. So you know, when I had Torsa, we were attracting all of these incredible brands, but quite often there would be brands that we wouldn't attract, and I'd send to myself for why. But then I had to switch my thinking to that door's not meant for me, that doors meant for someone else, and I wish them every success and something bigger and better is going to land in my lap. Bing go ye as that. So if you switch your mindset and second bit of advice in and it does revolve around marinading and shit, which I'm sure that lots of people will actually really it is a bit of a come to Jesus moment. But when I was having me it literally is when I was having my transformation, I was like, get out of your own way, toy. I sat with this Buddhist monk in Thailand and he said to me, you got three choices. You've got a really big challenge at the moment. And I'm sure a lot of people going through divorces or separations on your podcast will relate to this like that's stuck. I was stuck in the biggest pile of shit ever and I could not maneuver my way out of it. And he said to me, You've got three choices. You're at the halfway back of your life. You can either marinate in this challenge and this situation for another forty five years in which you're going to be living life sniffing shit. And I was like, oh, and is that in this pristine office, in this you know, in this close they're like, oh my god, you're talking about marinating shit. Second thing is he said, you can look at the challenge and you can be in it for forty five minutes. You can kind of struggle, you can make a few mistakes. It's okay within those forty five minutes. But you're going to sniff the ship not as badly as forty five years because you're not getting out of your own way. And he goes, you will be in your complete power when you don't even sniff the ship and that challenge comes your way and within forty five seconds you've made up your mind. Doesn't matter if it's right or wrong, but you're on your path.
00:13:27
Speaker 4: Well that's a lot. There's something else you was saying, Sorry, we're back to shit. I mean you're saying that there's a pile of shit. If there's a pile of shit over there, it's your choice whether some problems are like a pile of shit was it's your choice whether you choose to step in that or not. And I know that's back to shit. But it really made a lot of sense to me, Like we all have proble.
00:13:51
Speaker 1: You've got the three options, but it's the same as like doors are opening, so you've got to make your mind up in forty five seconds. What door are you going to want through? Are you going to say yes? Are you going to say no?
00:14:02
Speaker 2: And sometimes is it as simple as that, you know, like just with the mind shift there. So I think it's good for just listeners to hear that that sometimes it really is just that mind shift of going flick you know there, stay.
00:14:14
Speaker 4: There because everyone complicates it and you got to lose, but try and go there.
00:14:18
Speaker 1: That's exactly right, That is exactly you've got to try no.
00:14:22
Speaker 4: So yeah, I'll try again tomorrow exactly.
00:14:25
Speaker 1: And that's the beauty of it because he said to me, if you make a mistake in your mind, right, yeah, if you make a mistake in your mind, don't beat yourself up about it. Just give yourself forty five years, forty five minutes, or forty five seconds. And also, mistakes are good. We all make them. We make them every day.
00:14:41
Speaker 2: The lessons in life, aren't they, No, So we have to be people appreciate honesty to you truth. That's a really positive way of saying I love that positive way of rejection too, is that it actually wasn't meant for me or maybe not this timing now, and wish them the best as well. I think that's a good thing.
00:14:59
Speaker 1: You've got to pay for with gratitude, because gratitude breeds gratitude, happiness breeds happiness. But also when you're in flow and you don't look at what other people haven't say I want that, but you're actually in flow because you know that something better is coming your way. That's actually the ultimate way to live life.
00:15:16
Speaker 4: When you say flow, what does flows be?
00:15:18
Speaker 1: In complete alignment? So you know you hear about Matthew mcconachey in The green Light Process. Yeah, it's such a great book. He's the only one that I've ever asked for an autograph and he rejected me. No, but you know what we've got, she's so beautiful. That was not a green light.
00:15:43
Speaker 4: And that's funny talking about alignment and what I don't know what that means. What's alignment alignment means?
00:15:50
Speaker 1: I'll give you an example. So when I was running my agency, I pulled back because for personal reasons. I just want to spend more time with my family and I wanted to get out of that forty five years, right, So I was really focusing on what was my flow, what was my way forward. But what happened during that process was I allowed other people to run my business in which I wasn't as involved, right, so I'm not out there, no one really knows what I'm doing. So we were launching Kate Spade into Australia and my team were like, Tory, you got to get up early. I know you don't like getting up early, but you need to come along and meet all these people. It's really important for the business. So up, I get put MSCA on fur coat going and I learned that this company that also licenses Kate Spade licenses a whole lot of other brands that were on my manifestation board, right, but they have no idea who I am. So they said to me, who are you? And I said, I'm Tory and this is my agency. And they're like, oh, we don't know anything about you. Tell us about your company. And so I literally had less than sixty seconds to make an impact because guess what, they were launching Victoria's secret in this market. Six weeks later, so I said to them, m'd be very interest I staid in pitching for that business. And they said to me, no, guess what, there are three other agencies. We're down to the wire. And I said, look, why don't I descend through my credentials. Let's just see what happens. I've got nothing to lose. Maybe you can gain something. And she said, okay, no problem. So I explained to them that I launched Zara into Australia. I explained to them what I've done with other Australian businesses and taking them launches.
00:17:22
Speaker 2: Just throw exactly, that's massive, that is how well is a good one?
00:17:27
Speaker 1: Ah in my early thirties. Yeah, so as a single mama. But it was teamwork. It was teamwork with Interdex, which is actually the number one retail brand in the world now. So I just I mean, I reminded them with those credentials. I went back to the office and I said, we're irrelevant. I don't know how this has happened, but we need to go back and find our power. So we use the case studies of like, you know, twenty two thousand people in the day of launch for Czara a million dollars in sales, and then we gave other examples and about four or five hours later I sent it off. So it was early evening. They're in New York, and I just said to myself, whatever's meant to be will be. And this is where the green lights come into process, right because they're like, no way, three agencies are shortlisted. You can send it through, but whatever, You're one of two agencies. At eleven o'clock that night and I was like, oh my gosh, we are in. But guess what. These people probably have been speaking and building a relationship for many, many weeks and months before me. So we got onto Instagram and I did flashbacks to all of my hero things. So we've been at the time looking after Sea Folly, we Shigi Ha did and you know, Miranda coernel these things. So flashback to when we did this campaign, flashback to when we did Sarah don't dn't dun't. So then I got on LinkedIn. I thought, who do I know that can give this girl in New York a coffee? Because an Espresso is my client. So I thought, I'm gonna lie myself up in the morning. I'm gonna have an espresso, She's gonna have a Starbucks? What does she drink? And who's going to put it on her desk before she gets on zoom with me. That's how I won the business. But this is the really interesting thing about the Green Lights. While I got Victoria's secret and I got to go to the last show in New York, I then got a call from Steve Madden's office. We've been looking for an agency in Australia. How come we don't know about you? Again, I'm irrelevant because I wasn't putting myself out there. Put yourself out there. So they said, okay, no pitch nothing. You're launching Steve Mudden into Australia. So I was like, okay, second one. This all happened within weeks. And then, because of my coffee dating every time I went to the States, I always for my partnership coffee date met with an agency out there that I thought had the best influences, the best connections, and I said, I look after Australian brands. How can we connection and work together? So out of the blue, I get an email from an agency in La Toy. My friend's launching a beauty brand in Australia would you be interested in launching it? And I was just like yes, no problem. Didn't ask her, it was just was like yes, next one, Drew Barrymore Flower Beauty. So within a month to six weeks, I had the biggest brands in America saying what you're say if.
00:20:01
Speaker 4: You're back to Alignment and green Light? My god, yeah, you had you and Flow. So it was just circulating coming back to you, coming back to.
00:20:11
Speaker 1: But I had to step back into what I knew I was good at, and I had to tap into my connections because your connections are always going to endorse and advocate for you, and I had to stay true to what it was that I wanted to create for these brands, but I had to show them that I could.
00:20:29
Speaker 4: But the motivation for all of that, ultimately you were coming back because you said I was a line. So that's self belief that I have this potential I could do that.
00:20:40
Speaker 1: Because when someone says you're irrelevant and they don't know who you are, that kind of is a bit of a yes stab in turn, because especially in a Korea that you've worked so hard for, but I'd also chosen to step away from, so it was my choice to step back into it. Yeah, this is who I am.
00:20:58
Speaker 4: That's really admirable and so many ways, because I'm sure there's people that are born and lived and died and never actually felt that flow. Do you know what I mean? And I'm sure the people listening go, what is that?
00:21:09
Speaker 3: This?
00:21:09
Speaker 4: Read Matthew's book for starters. It is red light.
00:21:16
Speaker 2: With this toury, so believe, whether it's in a business or not. So you've got listeners there who might be interested in building their businesses or doing that just.
00:21:22
Speaker 4: The flow of life. But that's sort of the thing too.
00:21:25
Speaker 2: It's very true there friends sometimes that might have dropped away, maybe ones that should drop away at that stage of your life, and the other ones will flowing.
00:21:33
Speaker 4: It's true. It's a thing.
00:21:35
Speaker 1: They're like nature, real life lesson.
00:21:42
Speaker 2: I've got to ask you now with George Clooney because now you're the coffee one there.
00:21:46
Speaker 1: Have you met me or not? Because I want to hear a really funny story. I was appointed to look after Fossil Group in Australia with a really beautiful lady called Anime. And if she's listening to this podcasts, in fact, to Anime, I'll send you the link because you're absolutely roar with laughter. So in those days, we used to take the magazines overseas with us, as you know, and we go and do the big media events. And there was an event that was going on in Milan, and so everyone because she was the only female and she was surrounded by all these men, George Clooney is going to be at this party outside of Milan. We need to organize pr you need to bring your team over. So anime, can I get on the plane. I set up all the media. We're going to be meeting George and we're going to be doing all these amazing things. It was a joke.
00:22:33
Speaker 4: Oh are you kidding me?
00:22:35
Speaker 1: I am not kidding you. No, I am not kidding. I am not kidding. Yeah, to a castle with the managing director of Fossil At the time.
00:22:49
Speaker 4: I'm trying to find the here and the stores here. So who's the joke on?
00:22:55
Speaker 1: You know, the joke was supposed to be on us and the man in the business had you know, she's still in the business and she is an exceptional leader, like she's extraordinary. But back in the day, that's what men in businesses used to do with it.
00:23:09
Speaker 4: Interesting yeah, so funny. I bet you made the most of it, knowing exactly I read forty two you slightly bored and thinking this isn't exactly going the way I planned. At the moment where am I at? And you redesigned your sense of purpose? Can you explain that to us?
00:23:35
Speaker 1: What starts with the green lights? So I got those three brands, but then what I learned from each of those brands was something about myself, something that I wanted and something that I didn't want. So when I was at the Victoria's Secret Show in New York, my role was to get all the interviews with the supermodels over there, and what I recognized backstage then was were all the same. Because one of them had a really big panic attack, and like any good pr girl, you have love and oil in your bag, and I saved her from the panic attack. And I recognized that you might be in a really privileged position to be working with all of these brands, in these celebrities, but at the end of the day, we're all human, and if you can show empathy and compassion to someone else and allow them to shine, then that's a really good business model.
00:24:20
Speaker 4: So a light bulb went on your head in my head and what happened from there.
00:24:24
Speaker 1: So from there we then launched Steve Madden into Australia. Then we had Drew Barrymore and I was listening to Drew speak about, you know, her whole adventurous life, and I thought, well, gosh, I've had an adventurous life as well. But she wanted to get a talk show when she left Australia, and she was really waiting for that call to come through. And I really wanted a different life. So I just met my soon to be husband. My daughter was happy, like everything was just like everything was. I was in a really good place and I'd had the green lights on those three brands. And I saw her speak and I was like, you know what, I think my pr crews over.
00:24:59
Speaker 4: And I never had a.
00:25:00
Speaker 2: Photo's interesting affected by Drew, like you know, you brought it the energy and then she's helped you.
00:25:08
Speaker 4: And she was waiting for that phone call.
00:25:10
Speaker 1: So she was waiting for the phone call for that. And then what had happened was because we'd partnered with Mary Clare Magazine to you know, promote her because I loved Nicki Briger and Nicki had said to me toy, can I do a story on you. We've never done a story on you, but it's going to be on single moms with global careers. And something inside of me said, that's not my story, and that's an.
00:25:33
Speaker 4: Interesting She repeated that to you back to you. Yeah, and you listened to that, and when that's not my story, that's not sitting right with me.
00:25:41
Speaker 1: Yeah. So what had happened was four months before Drew had come out, I'd worked with this amazing journalist called Ali Pasco, and for some reason, I just opened up and I'd never ever actually opened up to anyone, and she gave me that sacred space and then she said to me, this is Jeff, not a single mom's story in the global business. She said, it's something bigger. Would you be interested in the feature?
00:26:05
Speaker 3: Now?
00:26:05
Speaker 1: They wrote three pages, and they interviewed Bella, they interviewed me, but I said to them, can you please put the story on hold because it's not just my story, it was my daughter's story. And I really needed her buy in because there's a lot of shame around what goes on when you are stalked for as intimidated, you know, by a partner or a father or a friend or whatever it is. And we've never publicly spoken about that before because my life was you know this glamorous publicists thinking.
00:26:34
Speaker 4: A whole lot of this truth is surface, it's just coming push it down.
00:26:39
Speaker 2: This life, this internal part of your life, there's a lot of suffering. There's a lot of hiding things as well and also protecting things.
00:26:47
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to, absolutely, and you were really crossroads.
00:26:51
Speaker 1: I was on Complain which runway down and so so yeah, it's a really powerful time in your life. So four months later we decided yes, and then Mary Claire was like, oh, well, you know, we'll put it in the issue with Drew, and I said, no, it needs to be after Drue because Drew's the star. And then yeah, so she got her talk show and I got my new life and.
00:27:19
Speaker 4: What is the new life?
00:27:21
Speaker 1: So I ended up meeting my soulmate and within ten months he proposed, we got married. We've now got a blended family, we're out in business together, we travel the world. Powerful Steps Okay, so.
00:27:33
Speaker 4: What is Powerful Steps?
00:27:34
Speaker 1: It is an online platform for women just like you and I like all the things I've gone through. You know, you're at across the road in life.
00:27:42
Speaker 4: What do you do.
00:27:43
Speaker 1: You've had great success in your life, but you say there's more.
00:27:47
Speaker 4: Who do I want to become?
00:27:48
Speaker 1: What I want to step into? Exactly why you guys have started this podcast. You've got something to give and you've got wisdom to pay forward. So I now work with women all around the world, you know, from entreprene to you know mums had really successful careers and then decided that, you know, my kids have now left school, what do I do? I'm going to watch a multimillion dollar business to CEOs board directors. And on top of that, we just launched another business called her World International. World her World International with a friend of mine, with a TV show out of New York and our first event is in la in.
00:28:24
Speaker 4: October, Yaho. That's exciting, that's really exciting.
00:28:28
Speaker 1: I want to be able to give Australian female leaders, entrepreneurs or women that just need to get that little bit of love in the room from a powerful community and access to other markets and.
00:28:39
Speaker 4: Age because we're really like fifty plus target market. But quite honestly, you talk about Antonia Kidman like my god, she had am I right, six kids and she went yes, like tell us about that. That's pretty remarkable at that age of six kids to say it's about me. Now I'm going to go and study law.
00:29:02
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had a coffee date with and in Singapore again, a nice coffee date. So she was in my tribe and she was studying when she had those kids. And now she's a family lawyer, and you know, she's had an extraordinary journey. But she just said I've got something more as well. And it was her passion, I guess because of what she'd gone through with her ex to actually help other.
00:29:22
Speaker 2: People, you know what that's now it's so good hearing more and more stories like that because there's more and more people like even Jodie Spears, you know, to Ben Fordham, successful TV presenter and aka she's now studying to.
00:29:33
Speaker 3: Be all lawyer herself.
00:29:35
Speaker 1: Like, wow, these are people top of their game. Yeah, age is just a number. So I started my first business at twenty four, my second at forty four, and this will be the runway. And I just had a lady who runs a billion dollar business joined my business Attraction program. She's sixty six. Wow, there you go, and she's she's sixty six pick up sticks and she said, I've got more to give can you help me? And I'm like, I absolutely can. Age is just a number.
00:30:01
Speaker 2: Well there you go or listeners to hear that too, So it's just great. And so can you tell us about with your master classes that you offer and you do and tell us a bit about that.
00:30:10
Speaker 1: Well, we're going to offer something to your community. Actually, I really believe that if you've got knowledge, you should pay it forward. And if you have wisdom that can actually help someone else step into their power, then you should gift it, whether it's going on a podcast, showing up on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, whatever. So we have this thing called network like a Pro which will help everyone build out their own personal brand. And also it gives you the framework further three dates a week to build a global community of coffee dating. But I'm going to give you a code. So in the show notes, that's what we're going to do. Anyone that listens can have access to that.
00:30:49
Speaker 4: And it's a master.
00:30:50
Speaker 1: It's an online master my master class and yeah, so there's videos, workbooks, and then it also gives you access to our community, the stories that we share with other people of what they remember at dinner parties, on podcasts, on coffee dates it's those little golden nuggets that actually give you the golden thread in life that allow you to step into whatever you're meant to be doing in your forties, fifties and sixties. Because if Drew hadn't have done that, I wouldn't have gone, you know what, shutting it finding everyone else a job that's amazing and you know, shut down a multi million dollars thank you.
00:31:23
Speaker 4: To thank you Tory.
00:31:25
Speaker 1: So this so listeners, come on out.
00:31:26
Speaker 4: I mean, this isn't really grot it in the show, thank you for that. You're interviewing an astrologer, and I love when she said she mentions purpose and how your purpose can change with time, you know, basically always stay tuned to universal sign backs. But see a lot of people think my sense of purpose is, oh, well, I'm going to be a lawyer and architect and engine whatever you are, and that's it. That's the end of the road. Now you're a shunning example of somebody that just listened to your body, mind and spirit and went, no, this isn't working for me right now. Others will spurn them selves out and continue through that journey. You know, I think it's reassuring for a lot of people listening that you know, that's not definitive for the rest of your life. You know, if you're feeling low energy, you're not feeling inspired, you can flip that and redirect your sense of purpose where I used to think that my sense of purpose is that, and that's what it was. Now you're a walking inspiration because you listened and you changed, You went flick and you went down this beautiful like spiritual road. It was so running out of time before was permanently running out to Was there.
00:32:40
Speaker 2: A pivotal moment when you really got sick as well that changed? Can you just share a little bit about that toury.
00:32:47
Speaker 1: So, like any good Jackie Collins novel, which we all death experience, death experience, I had death experience. So I was due on a plane to London for a high profile UK brand and I was a single mom at the time. I had twenty two staff, ten freelancers to assistants, so one for me, one to help Bella and I and of course a nanny. And there was shit flying everywhere and my appendix burst unexpectedly before I hopped on the flight. Thank goodness.
00:33:20
Speaker 4: The body will always tell you, the.
00:33:21
Speaker 1: Body will and I knew I was dying before it happened. I knew it, but I ignored all the.
00:33:26
Speaker 4: Signs because you're too busy.
00:33:28
Speaker 1: I was too busy. And then what happened was my pan burst. I felt the snap, I heard the snap, and unfortunately I was deadlocked in my house and my daughter in those days, had actually changed the code on my phone.
00:33:45
Speaker 4: How old was your daughter then?
00:33:46
Speaker 1: Eight or eight would have been? And I had to wait for someone to call me.
00:33:51
Speaker 4: What w Yeah in your appendix have.
00:33:57
Speaker 1: Burst and I could feel my body dye and had to wait for someone to call me. And so it was an ex boyfriend that was down from Hong Kong and his dad was an ex heart surgeon who called the ambulance and got me out of I had to be revived on the way to the hospital.
00:34:13
Speaker 2: So you really had that full in and out of life experience.
00:34:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, So two am in the morning, I was operated on by an amazing surgeon who basically said to me, who's your next of kin? What's going to happen to your daughter? You're a single mom. Like all these questions I was unprepared for. Yeah, And so basically I did see the other side, and will you see a white tunnel and then it goes into darkness.
00:34:40
Speaker 4: The thing everyone, Yes, it's the same thing. Yeah, Kerry Packer, even Kerry Packer, same thing.
00:34:49
Speaker 1: So I came back for my daughter and she was there for me. I was there for her, and I lost eight kilos in five days. So I always say it's good to have a little bit of extra fat.
00:34:58
Speaker 4: Yes, body, and I'll run with it.
00:35:02
Speaker 1: Yes, I run with it every day. But honestly, that that saved my life.
00:35:07
Speaker 4: How did it change your life?
00:35:08
Speaker 1: It changed my life because I was given a six month recovery, but an actual factor was three or four years, and I ended up with a dreamal fatigue, chronic fatigue. I had to rewind myself. And what I realized was I was surrounded by takers, not givers. And so it was a big thing for me. And you'll hear me speak about a lot, a mutual exchange of energy. So anyone that comes into our community powerful steps. It's sure, I've got a lot to give, but what do you have to give as well? Because unless it's that energy match, it's not right for me.
00:35:36
Speaker 4: It's an even flower, it is.
00:35:38
Speaker 1: And so when you talk about how do you attract these high vibrational people and opportunities like being on this podcast with you today. It's because there's an energy match, because you know that you're sharing something. So my recovery was all about who do I want to share my life with? And so that's why I decided not to sell my business, downsize my business. That's how I became slightly irrelevant. It's how I won full custody of my daughter in the restraining order because I created the space to work out, what are those little ship pits that are all piled around me? And one by one, yeah, making me sick, and I just stepped out, and then one by one until I came in to complete alignment.
00:36:13
Speaker 2: What did your surgeons say to you?
00:36:15
Speaker 4: How magnificent? Because this is just we were talking about this beauty.
00:36:24
Speaker 1: My doctor said to me, toy, I'm going to read meet you to a hospital unless you get rid of all your toxic family members and friends who are not allowing you to heal. And I said, I don't want to go back to hospital, but I will say no to all of them. And the surgeon said to me the same thing, and he said, I know what your problem is. You're not happy, And he had to be a piece of paper, and he goes, A happy heart is a magnet for miracles. He said, that's the way you're going to live your life now. Happy heart is a magnet for miracles, and that is how you're going to live your life from now on in I teach that.
00:36:58
Speaker 4: So he was an angel that I needed.
00:37:02
Speaker 2: Two am in the morning and we just had a fabulous Roberts and he was kind of similar, Oh my god.
00:37:09
Speaker 4: Why we run out of time. Yeah, but it's just the hell out of me.
00:37:13
Speaker 1: That's like, you're men me. It is my mattress. So if something doesn't make my happiness, it's a clear no.
00:37:19
Speaker 4: I've got fifty two thousand questions for you, and we watch you don't have a few guys on my and we will continue the and I know we're going to wind up. You know what I love most of all is that you're when you thrive, you give to others. And that's the mancha we all need to do in our community over the back fence is give back very yourself the quickly.
00:37:42
Speaker 2: Because last time, that's.
00:37:47
Speaker 4: What does she do in the show.
00:37:48
Speaker 1: Sorry, oh this is this one came from the Buddhist monk as well, he said to me, to you need to learn how to meditate, and I was like, I don't have time. I think they're going for five minutes every day. So he said to me, who do you have a shower with? So I said, it's me and that's my sanctuary. So every morning, including this morning, three drops of labond oil in how ex how it anchors me to Mother Earth, but most importantly it taps into my intuition.
00:38:15
Speaker 4: It's brilliant.
00:38:16
Speaker 1: So you get a beautiful light that comes and flows throughout your body, and then at night time you do the same thing gratitude.
00:38:23
Speaker 4: So what you're saying, don't make excuses. Do it in the shower. There's always a moment in time when you can.
00:38:28
Speaker 2: I copy you. This morning, I've got some oil and rubbed it in and.
00:38:31
Speaker 4: Said we've got to do the questions. Here we go. Yes, first question, and I think I've sort of got an idea after listening to you today. But well, if you had the opportunity of saying something to your twenty one year old self, twenty year old self, twenty two year old selvent, what would you like to say to her do it all again?
00:38:50
Speaker 1: Right?
00:38:51
Speaker 4: Because you were so young as I'm listening to him. Thank God, she's answering this question it all again, all.
00:38:58
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, absolutely, I would not change a single thing because through the rollercoaster of life, you learn about forgiveness, you learn about acceptance, and you learn that each challenge becomes a gift to make you a better person.
00:39:16
Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
00:39:16
Speaker 4: That's really sorry.
00:39:17
Speaker 2: Thank you for that is really beautiful. And if you could share a back fence with anybody on planet Earth, who would Besides, I'm.
00:39:25
Speaker 1: Actually thinking it's going to be the two of you on my podcast a neighbor.
00:39:33
Speaker 4: I want to learn more.
00:39:36
Speaker 1: I want to learn more. It's a fun to definitely do that parties last night. It all happens.
00:39:45
Speaker 4: Well, You're more than welcome.
00:39:46
Speaker 3: You're part of the tribe.
00:39:47
Speaker 2: And Bella, I'd like this is I love and you'll love.
00:39:53
Speaker 1: I can ask you the Ques.
00:39:56
Speaker 2: Boys will bring the gang over the.
00:39:58
Speaker 4: I mean, we started the Pocas because we want to inspire others. You are a walking, talking version of that. Thank you for what you do for the Earth, for everyone around you, because you are a giver.
00:40:10
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here with me today. I trust that you enjoyed listening to yet another powerful story. Sometimes we can forget just how incredible we are as women and how important it is to support each other. I'd love for you to take a moment to review the podcast and help support the show. You can also take a screenshot of this episode and share it across your social media. Be sure to tag me so that I can give you a shout out too. I'm a true believer of women supporting women, and I look forward to connecting with you again soon. Much love, Toy
