#110 - Malambo

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Welcome to the Phantom Journeys Podcast with your mortal hosts Max McGurke and Kid Smith.
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Join us as we uncover paranormal mysteries, thrilling tales and legends that scare us the most.
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Hey Matt, how's it going, dude?
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Hey can, how's it going?
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It's going well.
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It's going well.
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Good, good.
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It was going a lot better until Dolly Pardon and Tim Curry passed away this few weeks ago.
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Yeah, that is very true.
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That's very true.
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That sucks.
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You know, Dolly Pardon.
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Yeah.
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I wasn't a big country Western star, but I remember as a kid growing up, my dad was and listening to her a lot and seeing her on Hee-Ha and some of those other shows I was forced to watch.
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But forced.
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When you start listen hearing about how much of a wonderful person she actually was and what she did for everybody, and how actually she helped fund a majority of the early COVID vaccine.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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Research.
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I mean, it's just well, United Nations.
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We're taking all the religious aspect out of this.
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Yeah.
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The United Nations right now needs to make her um an earthly saint.
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Oh, god, yes.
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Number one.
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Earthly saint, or what do they do?
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They they give the the monument uh was the national uh national heritage uh designation to places.
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They need to start doing that to people, too.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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You know what?
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And and she she she did an awful lot of great things in her life, especially for kids, and I think maybe either either music or books for kids.
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She did a lot of books.
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She done like she's just done a lot of really good things for kids.
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And she had a kick-ass uh amusement park too.
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Yeah, in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.
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Wow, I didn't know that.
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Hollywood.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, there you go.
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That's cool.
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So Mrs.
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Dolly Parton.
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We miss you.
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Yeah.
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Rest rest well.
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And I didn't know her know her as much.
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I just heard about her philanthropy um afterwards, and well, kind of like before she died.
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Yeah.
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But if you go to um the Rock Home Hall of Fame when they inducted her, awesome, awesome performance.
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Cool, cool.
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But I'm kind of I'm kind of really, really, really, really sad about Tim Curry.
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Yeah, you know, he was he was legendary.
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He really was.
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So my first introduction to Tim Curry, uh, as probably many people was the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
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So I remember uh my best friend and I, we decided we were gonna sneak out in the middle of the night, uh, take his car, and we were gonna go see the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
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Yeah, none of well, I don't know about him, but I had no idea whatsoever the storyline.
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I just knew it was an audience, I just knew it was an audience participation type movie.
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So here we are.
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We're we are like just got the driver's license, so we couldn't be more than 16.
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Yeah.
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And we sneak out, take and we even you know, like rolled this car down the street a little bit before starting it.
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Yeah, the type thing.
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And we end up going to the mall, we get in, we get our tickets, and then you know, before the movie, you do what you need to do, like go to the bathroom.
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Yeah, and so here I am, zero knowledge to what the movie is.
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I just know the movie poster has two big red lips.
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Yeah, it says Rocky Hart Picture Show.
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Yeah.
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I walk in, and there's a guy in men's underwear or women's underwear, lingerie, and I'm like, only my parents were right, I should not be out after a certain time of night.
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But uh later on when we watched the movie, I've we I realized what was going on, but it's just kind of like Oh, hey, uh oh, am I in the right bathroom?
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Yeah.
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Oh no, you know, I I do I I remember times we went to the cinema and we watched that, and you know what, all of those people who dress up, you know, they're the nicest people in the world.
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Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
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We had a great time.
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We had a great time.
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Um we used to bring cans down to our local cans of beer down to our local uh um homo show movie theater.
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Movie theater.
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It wasn't it wasn't like an AMC or like it was just a local small one.
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It's gone now, anyways.
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But um, yeah, it was it was really fun.
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Really fun.
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Everyone interacted, there was like toast getting thrown around.
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It was just and you know, I loved him in the movie Um Legend.
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Yeah.
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That makeup job and everything.
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That was awesome.
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Big time.
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He he had he had some really great roles throughout his life.
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Will be missed.
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You know who he said was the the one woman that got away?
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What?
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Miss Piggy.
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Uh from uh um Treasure Island, Muppet's right, Treasure Island.
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Yeah, she's the one that got away.
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Yeah, the little piggy that got away.
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Yeah.
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It's like Miss Little Piggy stayed at home.
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So Tim Curry, Dolly Parton.
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Yeah, there was actually a couple of other people as well.
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I can't remember the top of my head, and I know it sounds terrible.
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Yeah, you know what?
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I'd ask you how your week is, but it's been an absolutely crazy week in the world.
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Actually, a crazy month in the world.
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It's been weird.
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Yeah, nothing special, nothing now, nothing new, really.
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No, nothing new.
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Yeah.
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But you know what?
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We are not only a hard-hitting paranormal themed podcast.
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Oh, yeah, I can.
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What up?
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I'm gonna bring you a science story right now before we go to break.
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A science story.
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Uh, we I am gonna bring you the hardest-hitting science story I found this week from CNN.
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Okay.
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They've did the reporting.
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I'm just I'm gonna read you the CNN um article that was on their website.
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Yeah.
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The hardest-hitting science I think has been done in decades.
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Fountain journey science from probably even in our lifetime.
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This is the most scientific-based study ever.
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Alright.
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You ready?
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Let's hit let's hit up.
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Well, first of all.
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Yes.
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If you're like me, you're kind of wondering why everything in this world need to be connected to the internet.
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Ken, why does everything in this world need to be connected to the internet?
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I I have no answer for you.
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I mean, do I really need a refrigerator that connects to the internet so at one o'clock in the morning, if I wake up and want to know what's in the fridge, I don't have to get up and go see.
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I mean, it's convenient.
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Well, I guess, but then, you know, how do I know that some bad actor somewhere in the darkest part of the world isn't sneaking in and looking at my aches or my black tired terror h black tire heroin to put in your freezer?
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Exactly.
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Right?
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I I'm sure I don't have a black hair.
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I have no idea.
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So this this science story will probably the one of the remarkable research done in our lifetime has to do with some of the connectivity that things are now connected to via the wire internet.
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All right.
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So you ready?
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Now, before I uh read this, everybody, Matt has does no idea what story this is.
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I I don't.
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I have not shared it with him.
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I just thought in my head, a hard-hitting science story I wanted to share with everyone before we went to break.
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Absolutely.
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Okay, here it goes.
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Everyone farts.
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Yeah.
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But now everyone tracks their farts.
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Okay.
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I mean, uh I mean, not everyone knows, but people do.
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Now Smart Underwear is making a case for paying closer attention to what comes out of your body.
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Its creators said that they hope that tracking flatulence could eventually give researchers new insight into digestive health and how a person's farts offer clues about what's happening in their gut.
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Okay.
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But does it have to be connected?
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That's all I'm saying.
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Do I need to go to the internet to see?
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You know, anyway.
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How big was my last fart, Google?
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And how many times have I done it?
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And what was the composition?
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Yes.
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And they didn't follow through.
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Brantley Hall, sorry.
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Brantley Hall, the brains behind the smart underwear, and the associate professor at the University of Maryland's Department of Cell Biology and Molecular Genetics and Fart Smelling.
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I just threw that last part in.
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Said the team's ultimate mission is to help people eat high-fiber diets comfortably with low intestinal gas.
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Interesting.
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Interesting.
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In the United States, it is estimated that 90% of Americans don't fart.
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No, I'm kidding.
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95 of Americans.
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That's an explosive.
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That might explain a lot of what's going on in the world.
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Estimated that 95% of Americans don't eat enough fiber.
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The nutrient plays a critical role in digestive health, blood sugar, and cholesterol regulation, and maintaining a healthy gut micro microbiome.
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Yeah, but you know what they do though?
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What's that?
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They people aren't eating enough of that stuff, so they sell us little bottles of um bio yogurt.
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Oh, the pipe probiotics.
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Yeah, so then you drink them and then you're okay.
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That's not true.
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It's not you have to eat your fiber.
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I I I I haven't drank it, but I I've been taking the pills.
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Fiber pills?
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Or just go eat trees, go eat the probiotic.
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Chew a tree or something, you know.
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But for some barking mad, eating more fiber also means more gas, especially at first.
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When you eat fine fiber, the gut microbes ferment it, resulting in production of gases such as hydrogen, those gases eventually become farts.
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Good.
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But you know what?
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It's probably a good thing because the we're rolling out hydrogen.
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We're running out of helium.
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Oh, helium, sorry.
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Okay.
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Hydrogen, helium is.
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Imagine if it was helium instead of hydrogen?
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Megan!
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I don't know where that came from.
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By starting who farts more, who farts less, and how flatulence changes as diet, researchers aim to understand how microbes respond to different foods and why some people can tolerate higher fiber diets comfortably while others struggle with gas.
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Uh smart underwear is the first wearable designed to measure human flatulence.
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The measuring device is a small disc that snaps into the back of a person.
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Oh, they can't even make their own underwear.
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They have to put it in my own the underwear I already own.
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Oh, come on.
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Uh it then uses tiny electrochemical sensors to detect hydrogen, providing insights on the where's flatulence.
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Well, if they're only measuring fla uh hydrogen, that doesn't seem like anyway.
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Yeah.
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Results contribute uh to the human fletchless atlas.
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I wonder how big of an atlas that would be.
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Yeah.
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A research project has recruited people around the world to wear the smart device while also documenting every meal they eat.
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While it's not a medical device, researchers said that's a weird thing for researchers to say.
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Excuse me.
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While the while it's not a medical device, researchers said that technical technology could eventually have applications in medicine, including helping scientists identify early signs of gastrointestinal problems.
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I think that once you start getting oh my gut hurts, you don't need anything else other than Hall said the team hopes to help people who show up uh at their doctor and say, I feel bloated or I feel gassy or I feel abdominal pain.
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But not just relying on people's perceptions, but instead objectively measuring the production of farts.
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Hall said he and other researchers can do a better job understanding their own digestive issues.
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Interesting.
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Interesting.
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Oh, but there's more.
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What is that?
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That's the disc.
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Oh my god.
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I might put a picture of that on.
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It's too big, actually.
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Is it small though?
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Um it's about the size of a nickel.
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Uh there's not a universal baseline of how many farts a day is normal, partly because it varies with each person.
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That's also because before the smart underwear, there hasn't been an efficient way to track farts.
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Uh doctors would either have to rely on a person to track their own farts or use pretty invasive procedures to mutter them.
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There's a guy in uh LA right now who is in Glendale.
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He's in jail right now because he's a serial fart uh butt sniffer.
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Oh, I heard about that.
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Yeah, yeah.
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That's the kind of person they hire when it's on more invasive but uh there's this guy.
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This is what the article is.
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I'm just reading the article.
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There's this guy, he's named the King of Farts, Hall said, referring to gastriontologist Michael Levitt in his research.
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He's kind of like where all the fart studies come from, and he's used a very embarrassing technique to measure farts.
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It was rectal tubes, and it was like tubing the ass and counting farts as they came out.
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What?
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That's crazy.
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There's one foot two.
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Uh smart underwear, on the other hand, allows people to go about their days while it's any tracking their farts.
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It's also uh can detect sleep flatulence, which is a completely understudy.
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Uh a scientific topic.
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No one really knows how many are farting in their sleep halls.
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Oh my god.
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Uh the Human Flatulence Atlas has recently finished its second study of smart underwear users.
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In the first study, users were asked to wear the device for about 12 hours a day or for seven days.
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And the paper published in December, we'll get that one to you as soon as we can find it.
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Uh scientific journal Biosensors on Bioelectronics, the researchers found the average amount of farts were around 32 during the time period.
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Is that per day?
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Yeah, I I don't know about this now because like here's the thing the amount of Tesas or phones have exploded.
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What?
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Like you know, all these like car electric cars and audio cars that have blown up and exploded.
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You know what?
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Your fucking underwear blown up.
00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:27.519
I know it's only the size of a nickel, but like it is hydrogen.
00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:30.879
And we all know what to happen to the Hindenburg with that.
00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:33.039
Uh Dr.
00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:44.000
Jordan Axelrod agreed that the smart underwear could one day provide a continuous, non-evasive, real-world measure of micro bi microbial McBeta.
00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:46.879
Is that where it sits?
00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:47.440
It's literally over.
00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:48.159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:49.679 --> 00:15:50.720
Where do you think they come out?
00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:54.159
It's on the outside of the underwear.
00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:56.799
It's like literally like it might as well be a book bug.
00:15:57.440 --> 00:16:00.480
Well, that's what the other doctor was doing.
00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:04.960
Uh microphone down there, too.
00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:05.440
Let's see.
00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:07.600
That'd be a job with a health desk.
00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:08.559
Can you can you hear this?
00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:11.600
I heard a fine yellow lonely.
00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:17.679
Well, I guess you would also have to study this the sound that if one would it I don't know.
00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:18.159
Yeah.
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:21.039
If it was like a leg.
00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:24.080
I think what the push is mobile.
00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:27.519
Ken, let's go to a quick break.
00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:29.759
Let's go to a break.
00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:32.480
Ethan Death needs a break.
00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:33.519
Stay tuned.
00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:34.799
We'll be right back.
00:16:47.120 --> 00:16:48.000
Warning.
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:48.799
Warning.
00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:53.679
Alien Soda Company has interrupted this broadcast with an important message.
00:16:54.720 --> 00:17:01.840
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00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:22.000
Okay.
00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:23.839
Then we're back.
00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:24.880
We are back.
00:17:25.279 --> 00:17:27.599
And let's get to paranormal now.
00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:28.559
Paranormal stuff.
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:34.960
So wasn't I, was I not was I wrong saying that I brought that we're not just a hard-hitting paranormal, that we bring the science that matters?
00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:36.720
He brought the science that matters.
00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:37.279
Okay.
00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:38.079
Yeah.
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:40.079
So what's the story today?
00:17:41.119 --> 00:17:41.920
What is the story today?
00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:43.519
Oh, it's oh, it's my turn now.
00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:45.039
It's your turn, your own.
00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:46.480
We're going to South Africa.
00:17:46.720 --> 00:17:47.680
We're going to South Africa.
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:48.400
Very cool.
00:17:48.480 --> 00:17:48.799
Very cool.
00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:49.119
Where about?
00:17:49.440 --> 00:17:52.480
Actually, I'm going to bring um this one's from South Africa.
00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:52.880
Uh-huh.
00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:57.039
And then my next story will be probably in two weeks.
00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:59.440
It'll be another South African um.
00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:02.400
Are you going on a world tour right now?
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:03.279
You're in Africa?
00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:09.599
No, for some reason, I I found two names that sounded really cool and I started reading into and they both were from South Africa.
00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:10.640
Sounds good.
00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:16.319
So we're going to talk about a water spirit or router cryptid.
00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:20.000
It's their version of Loch Ness Monster.
00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:22.319
But do they have rivers in Africa?
00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:24.000
I mean, it's mostly dry, isn't it?
00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:26.000
No, no, they have some pretty good rivers.
00:18:27.279 --> 00:18:29.200
Are we talking about South Africa or Africa in general?
00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:30.160
I'm thinking of Africa.
00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:30.559
I'm sorry.
00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:32.480
South Africa's huge though as well.
00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:35.440
Yeah, but there's, you know, the Nile, it's the most famous one.
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:42.559
And they got Victoria Falls, which one is called the Malambo.
00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:44.079
Malambo.
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:47.759
Is that someone who's like, you know, has a Lamborghini.
00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:49.920
It's like, hey, that's Malambo.
00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:50.400
Yes.
00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:50.799
Alright.
00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:51.279
Yes.
00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:52.640
That's the secondary.
00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:55.359
Get away from my Lambo.
00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:58.400
When they leave the river, they gotta get in their Lambo.
00:19:00.400 --> 00:19:11.599
The Malambo is one of the more complicated supernatural beings in South Southern African folklore because it cannot readily be reduced to a single monster.
00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:17.920
Depending on the tradition and storyteller, the Malambo may be a river or water spirit.
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:18.160
Okay.
00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:20.960
An enormous snake or serpent.
00:19:21.599 --> 00:19:23.279
And of course, a beautiful woman.
00:19:23.519 --> 00:19:24.319
Of course, why not?
00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:28.240
Then we mean think of the um one with the horse head.
00:19:28.559 --> 00:19:32.640
Uh this uh uh yeah.
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:33.680
Yeah, that one.
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:35.359
You can find it in our archive.
00:19:35.599 --> 00:19:36.880
It's the and it's easy.
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:38.960
Sequenama, yeah.
00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:42.640
It's the one with the uh beautiful body and the horse of the head.
00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:43.200
Yeah.
00:19:43.440 --> 00:19:45.039
Uh head of the horse actually.
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:51.039
If you're into girls with you know who have horse heads, then it's also been known as a mermaid.
00:19:51.119 --> 00:20:06.960
Okay, a supernatural creature creature associated with wealth, a dangerous spirit requiring sacrifice, or in modern cryptozoological accounts, an enormous horse-headed river monster that allegedly feeds upon human victims.
00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:07.680
Interesting.
00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:08.079
Yes.
00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:08.720
Alright.
00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:10.640
Um, let's see.
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:15.039
Those versions overlap, but they are not necessarily all the same tradition.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:25.039
Academic research into social-speaking communities of the Eastern Cape describes Malambo belief as particularly strong there.
00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:32.160
In those traditions, the creature is a shapeshifter, frequently appearing as a snake, but also as an attractive woman.
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:35.440
An attractive man or a mermaid-like being.
00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:40.640
So you just attractive man for the women, an attractive woman for the women.
00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:42.559
And then an attractive fish for the fish.
00:20:42.799 --> 00:20:43.119
Yeah.
00:20:43.279 --> 00:20:43.440
Yeah.
00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:43.680
Yeah.
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:48.240
The older stories tell of a water spirit.
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:53.759
Water has enormous spiritual importance in a number of South African traditions.
00:20:54.000 --> 00:21:01.920
Rivers, pools, and other bodies of water can represent places where the ordinary human world intersects with the ancestral or spiritual world.
00:21:02.559 --> 00:21:09.039
In Shosha, that's XH O S A for the area of South Africa.
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:17.279
Traditions surrounding Ukuthawasa, the spiritual calling and initiation associated with becoming an Ingwerha.
00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:18.240
Inguirha.
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:20.960
Or Diviner.
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:23.839
I'm totally not editing this out.
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:24.640
That's fine.
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:26.000
I'm going to go with Diviner.
00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:28.880
Water can play an important role.
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:36.240
Accounts describe supernatural river people, sometimes particularly human and partly fish, inhabiting the underwater realm.
00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:45.039
Malambo fits into this broad into this broadest uh landscape of powerful beings associated with rivers and water.
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:50.240
But the malambo is usually considerably more dangerous.
00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:59.759
The dictionary of South African English defines it as a female water spirit that commonly appears as a snake.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:09.200
Or woman and may require a sacrifice, including in some stories, human life, in exchange for its for its favor.
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:14.799
Written references to uh that belief go back at least to the 1930s.
00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:15.519
Interesting.
00:22:15.839 --> 00:22:18.319
Malambo is a giver of wealth.
00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:24.319
This is probably the most important part of the tradition folklore that modern cryptid accounts often leave out.
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:31.119
The Malambo can supposedly bring its owner extraordinary wealth if he doesn't kill you first.
00:22:31.839 --> 00:22:32.880
Well, there's that.
00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:45.839
Academic research based on oral accounts from the Eastern Cape describe the Malambo as kind of a supernatural wealth-giving entity associated with a practice generally called Ukuthwala.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:47.759
In this context.
00:22:50.480 --> 00:23:00.079
In this context, a person seeking rapid wealth acquires or enters into a relationship with a Malambo, which then produces money or prosperity.
00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:03.359
I really just want to Mamma Mala Lambo.
00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:09.759
Mamalalambo da da da da da da da Brainage.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:16.079
So I was listening to um the Saturday night safety dance a few weeks ago.
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:17.119
Safety dance?
00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:18.880
On uh Sirius XM.
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:19.119
Okay.
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:28.480
It's one of their uh they're playing uh 80s uh music, but you know, but to the dance, you know, the uh extended dance versions and stuff.
00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:40.000
Oh god and I was kind of listening and doing other things and a song came up, and I don't remember what the underlying song was, because remember, and anyone out there that knows the answer to this, you'll be the hero that saves the day.
00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:44.000
There was an underlying thing where I think they were saying Daddy Baba.
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:50.079
And I can't find that anywhere.
00:23:50.319 --> 00:23:54.640
I can't find anything on that song, and I haven't heard it since.
00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:56.079
Have you tried Git one on that?
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:56.720
I did.
00:23:56.960 --> 00:24:00.799
I've tried AI and it brought up like a hundred things that were all wrong.
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:06.559
I uh tried to find the playlist, couldn't find the accurate playlist for that night.
00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:13.200
So, anyone out there, you can help rid me of an earworm if you could just help me identify this song.
00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:13.839
Interesting.
00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:17.039
Anyway, um I digressed.
00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:26.960
One oral account collected in the Eastern Cape concerned a woman who supposedly opened a container and revealed a snake coiled up on top of money.
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:35.119
Another story described a wealthy family servant opening a forbidden room and discovering an normal snake surrounded by banknotes.
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:39.119
I would how do you have an unknown room in your house?
00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:39.599
One.
00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:45.279
And two, how do you have an unknown room in your house that a snake is living in and has all the money?
00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:47.680
Yeah, but is that your like piggy bank?
00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:49.039
Wait, your snake bank?
00:24:49.279 --> 00:24:49.759
Ooh.
00:24:50.160 --> 00:24:52.799
You just you have a little slot on your door and you push money through.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:54.000
Ooh.
00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:54.880
Yeah.
00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:57.440
Then you gotta break down the house to get to it though.
00:24:57.599 --> 00:24:57.680
Yeah.
00:24:57.920 --> 00:24:59.279
Like you do a piggy bank?
00:24:59.440 --> 00:24:59.680
Yeah.
00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:02.559
But there's a snake in there, so it might eat you.
00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:05.200
But that's but give or take.
00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:07.440
You gotta be fast enough to get the cash.
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:14.160
Uh the owner supposedly receives money, possession, success, but the lumbo demands sacrifices.
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:19.200
These sacrifices may eventually include members of the owner's own family.
00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:22.400
Yeah, you know what?
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:23.759
She just disappeared.
00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:25.119
I don't know what happened to her.
00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:28.319
And look at all this money over here in this room.
00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:30.079
It's got a snake on top.
00:25:31.359 --> 00:25:50.160
Uh, researcher Felicity Woods summarizes oral traditions in which people seeking Uthawala uh obtain a malambo that showers its owner with wealth while j while gradually demanding increasingly terrible personal sacrifices, including loved ones, and ultimate the welfare of the owner.
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:53.839
So underlying moral structure is very recognizable.
00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:59.119
You can have everything you desire, but everything you love will eventually be taken from you.
00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:03.519
Remember, we were talking about the crossroads, the devil in the details.
00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:06.799
Then we have the seductive Malambo.
00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:08.960
Bom chicka bum bum!
00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:10.960
Brown chicken, brown cow.
00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:14.960
Another recurring form uh is particularly interesting.
00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:18.160
Malambo can appear as an extremely attractive woman.
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:26.160
Uh some accounts portray her almost like a siren, beautiful, desirable, associated with water, and capable of seducing men.
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:31.759
Other descriptions give her a mermaid-like form, woman above, fish below.
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:34.319
That's a very good distinction that they give there.
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:34.480
Yeah.
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:38.319
In my mind, I was the I was the first fish on top, woman below.
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:40.000
I mean, that's usually that's a good question.
00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:43.759
But now woman on top, fish below.
00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:46.799
Well, that that changes everything.
00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:50.000
Thank God we're not on video.
00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:52.319
Sometimes with long hair.
00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:53.279
Oh, weird.
00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:56.000
See that really the fish with long hair is not weird.
00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:57.200
It doesn't that doesn't work.
00:26:57.359 --> 00:26:58.079
It doesn't work.
00:26:58.480 --> 00:27:04.559
Researchers have compared this aspect of Malambo traditions with the wider African Mamiwata.
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:07.519
Complex of water spirits.
00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:11.839
But again, the seduction isn't necessarily sexual for its own sake.
00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:18.400
It represents temptation, money, status, luxury, sex, power.
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:25.359
Everything the person wants immediately with no with the true cost concealed.
00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:36.160
Kotso Sethunutsa and the Malama.
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:40.160
Then we get to one of the strangest real world figures associated with the legend.
00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:42.799
Kotso, I was hoping I didn't have to say this name again.
00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:56.240
Kotso Sutunsa, uh 1898 to 1972, was an extraordinarily famous southern African medicine man whose life became surrounded by stories of supernatural wealth.
00:27:56.480 --> 00:28:04.720
He came from relatively humble circumstances, yet eventually possessed considerable wealth and became known for extravagant displays of it.
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:06.480
Hey, buddy, you want a quarter?
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:07.680
I'll give you a quarter.
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:08.160
Yeah.
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:09.440
I want a quarter.
00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:11.119
I'm not that extravagant.
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:11.440
I'm sorry.
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:19.920
Uh stories circulated that Setunutsa could provide people with supernatural methods for obtaining riches.
00:28:20.079 --> 00:28:20.480
Ooh.
00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:25.200
And the creature most frequently associated with him was the Malamba.
00:28:25.519 --> 00:28:26.960
Oh yeah.
00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:29.680
You're in the wrong part of the country, but world again.
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:38.799
Uh people told stories that everyone who set who wanted wealth could visit Setunatsa and acquire one of those supernatural snakes.
00:28:39.039 --> 00:28:41.039
I think he had his a bucket of snakes.
00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:42.559
Oh, you want wealth here.
00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:43.519
50 bucks.
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:45.680
50 bucks and you had this wealthy snake.
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:46.640
That's true.
00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:49.440
Uh that's what I would do.
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:51.839
Oh, you want a lot of wealth?
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:52.640
100 bucks.
00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:52.880
Yeah.
00:28:53.119 --> 00:28:55.119
I'll get a buck, different bucket.
00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:01.680
Uh sim, some inatiation stories becomes extremely elaborate.
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:12.240
One oral account claimed that a person seeking this power would be swallowed by an enormous snake and later disgorged alive, then pooped out alive.
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:16.640
Well, like descorched, because I think scorched is like born, so descorched.
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:17.519
Disgorged.
00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:18.480
Oh, scorged.
00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:23.519
Uh, after which would people would fear him.
00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:25.279
I'm talking over his episode.
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:26.480
Putting him off.
00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:27.279
That's right.
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:29.279
I don't think I need to read it.
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:31.599
I haven't talked to a person in a week.
00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:41.599
Uh the 1997 Mince Lava, Minced Lava, River Panic.
00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:46.480
This is where the Malambo begins looking less like a spirit and more like a cryptid.
00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:47.200
Interesting.
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:47.599
Interesting.
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:49.119
And it happened in 1997.
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:50.000
I remember.
00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:54.000
I remember back in 1997, back in the 1900s.
00:29:54.160 --> 00:29:56.400
I remember 1994, but I don't remember 97.
00:29:56.559 --> 00:29:58.319
No, 97 wasn't a very good year for him.
00:29:58.640 --> 00:29:58.799
No.
00:29:59.039 --> 00:29:59.359
No.
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:05.279
I've mentioned, I think, things on the I'm not going to go into it at this moment.
00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:05.839
Yeah.
00:30:07.119 --> 00:30:18.480
Near Mount Alif in South Africa's Eastern Cape, people living around the Menslava River began attributing a series of drownings to an enormous creature in the water.
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:27.680
And then unlike most folklore stories, this became serious enough that it entered mainstream South African news reporting.
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:41.759
On April 29th, 1997, Eastern Cape Agricultural and Land Affairs Representative Ezra Sigwela reported, raised, reportedly raised the matter in the provincial legislature.
00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:47.920
A government team was sent to the immense lava river to investigate villagers' claims that a monster was killing people.
00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:52.000
At that point, villagers reportedly attributed seven deaths to the creature.
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:59.759
A contemporaneous South African Press Association described it as a supposed half-fish, half-horse creature.
00:31:01.519 --> 00:31:08.960
Later accounts increased the number of deaths associated with the panic to nine between roughly January and April 1997.
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:19.759
A scholarly article in the journal Folklore specific specifically refers to the South African villagers attributing nine deaths to the Malambo in 1997.
00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:20.640
Interesting.
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:28.480
That seven versus nine discrepancy probably reflects the reporting timeline rather than necessary contradictory time contradictory stories.
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:36.160
Seven had reportedly been blamed on the creature when officials first discussed it, while later summaries gave it the number nine.
00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:37.119
Interesting.
00:31:37.279 --> 00:31:40.079
And it's interesting that we do have seahorses.
00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:43.680
Because I'm thinking of my head like half fish, half horse, I'm thinking, how would that work?
00:31:43.839 --> 00:31:44.960
But we do have seahorses.
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:54.640
Well that it doesn't well, it's not it's a snake with a horse head.
00:31:55.359 --> 00:31:56.880
But you said fish.
00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:02.319
Well well, that's what.
00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:02.640
Yeah.
00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:04.720
Oh yeah, half fish, half horse.
00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:05.279
I did say that.
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.359
So would that just be like a seahorse?
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:13.920
Or would it be your way around where it's like a centaur, but instead of a human, it's a fish.
00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:16.319
That would be interesting, wouldn't it?
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:18.240
Half it would have to be in the water.
00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:19.440
Because it was a dice.
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:20.960
Just easy as four legs popping up.
00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:34.000
Accounts associated with the 1997 episode describe something approximately 20 meters or around 65 feet long.
00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:44.319
Strip uh various descriptions gave it a horse head, a horse-like head, a long stink-like neck, a fish-like or crocodilian body with short legs.
00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:48.720
And sometimes a green glow visible at night.
00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:50.079
So it's radioactive.
00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:50.720
Yeah.
00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:51.200
Okay.
00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:53.119
Oh, radioactive, of course.
00:32:53.359 --> 00:32:59.039
Oh, so I forgot to mention at the beginning of this that it's not just a Malumbo, it's Malambo, the brain sucker.
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:00.079
Oh, okay.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:02.799
I ruined the whole surprise.
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:06.640
Uh, so why does he have the nickname the brainsucker?
00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:10.400
Well, this is generally where it really gets gruesome.
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:16.240
Bodies recovered from the river were reportedly found with soft tissues missing from portions of the head and neck.
00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:23.279
People who believe that the Malombo responsible interpreted those injuries as evidence that the creature was feeding upon the victims.
00:33:23.519 --> 00:33:29.359
This gradually produced a particularly sensational claim that Malambo ate faces and brains.
00:33:29.839 --> 00:33:30.799
Like a zombie.
00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:32.559
Brains.
00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:37.200
Uh, hence the nickname the brain sucker.
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:38.240
Brainsucker.
00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:40.400
We don't have something similar to that, didn't we?
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:41.519
Brain suckers.
00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:43.920
We did the goat sucker, the chicacabra.
00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:45.839
Or the blood uh yeah, the goatsucker.
00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:48.079
I wonder if that has a uh correlation.
00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:48.799
I don't know.
00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:49.680
Anyway.
00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:50.559
We look into that.
00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:52.240
The brain sucker.
00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:58.640
Uh but the police offered a considerably less supernatural explain explanation.
00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:11.280
According to reports summarized in cryptozoological literature, the bodies had remained in the river long enough for freshwater crabs and other scavengers to consume the exposed soft tissue around the head and neck.
00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:19.679
Several retellings of the 1997 sightings say that the creature emitted a or reflected a greenish light at night.
00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:22.719
There is no physical evidence supporting that claim.
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:28.079
However, visually it becomes one of the defining characteristics of modern Malumbo artwork.
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:28.880
Interesting.
00:34:29.760 --> 00:34:32.239
You know, it's funny, they can never just be noise, can't they?
00:34:32.400 --> 00:34:34.159
They always have to eat grains or blood.
00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:36.000
You can't have just like a towel sucker.
00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:38.079
Or like a like a finger sugar.
00:34:38.480 --> 00:34:39.199
You know what I mean?
00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:46.159
Or I mean that could go a lot of places, but uh yeah, you don't have uh I'm just gonna snuggle monster.
00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:46.800
Yeah.
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:47.360
Yeah.
00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:48.159
Yeah.
00:34:48.719 --> 00:34:50.960
Actually, I I have one of I have three of those.
00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:51.920
Oh, that's true.
00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:52.159
Yeah.
00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:52.960
Little pups.
00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:55.840
Those are the biggest snuggle monsters in the world.
00:34:57.679 --> 00:34:59.360
And there's nothing supposedly about them.
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:02.239
I I know they're real, I touch them every day.
00:35:02.639 --> 00:35:07.280
Uh so the question now is could it have been a real animal?
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:07.840
Yeah.
00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:08.559
Interesting.
00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:09.039
I don't know.
00:35:09.199 --> 00:35:09.679
What do you think?
00:35:11.679 --> 00:35:13.679
There's too many animals in my head right now.
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:15.840
I've got fishes, horses, humans.
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:17.199
Could it be real?
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:18.400
It could.
00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:20.079
It really could.
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:24.000
It's real as uh smart smelling uh fart collecting.
00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:26.000
Yeah, exactly.
00:35:26.320 --> 00:35:35.679
Uh there isn't compelling zoological evidence for the for an unknown 20-meter aquatic vertebrate inhabitants of the Mitslava River.
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:46.159
Cryptozoological references possessed various ordinary explanations, including drowning, scavenging remains, and possible misidentification of known animals.
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:51.360
One speculative suggestion has been the African electric catfish.
00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:53.440
There's an electric catfish?
00:35:53.679 --> 00:36:00.079
It's like an electric bill, but it's a catfish that I've seen some of those in an aquarium in Tennessee.
00:36:00.400 --> 00:36:03.119
I wonder, do we have any land animals that are electrified?
00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:05.599
Or is it only seed-based animals?
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:06.960
I can't think of one.
00:36:08.639 --> 00:36:17.440
Actually, I want to say it was something like the um platypus or something that had a mild electrical charges.
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:18.400
Interesting.
00:36:18.559 --> 00:36:19.280
Interesting.
00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:20.800
But I could be very wrong on it.
00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:22.400
It doesn't seem like it was something like that, though.
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:22.719
Yeah.
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:25.840
I was really, I'm really happy that like rats or something don't have that.
00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:28.559
Wouldn't that be horrible?
00:36:28.880 --> 00:36:30.960
Get out of my house, okay.
00:36:31.039 --> 00:36:32.159
You can have that corner.
00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:33.360
I'm sorry.
00:36:34.400 --> 00:36:42.239
Although its size fails uh falls nowhere near the enormous dimensions reported for the Malumbo.
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:43.360
Interesting.
00:36:43.519 --> 00:36:43.920
Interesting.
00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:46.559
Why is Malumbo unusual among cryptids?
00:36:46.719 --> 00:36:51.599
This is what makes it more interesting to me than South Africa's Loch Ness monster.
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:59.440
The enormous horse-headed mitzlava river creature blamed for several deaths in 1997 and the brainsucker.
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:08.400
Those layers are related but shouldn't be treated as though people have been consistently describing the exact same zoological animal for hundreds of years.
00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:10.960
There's where a lot of cryptid websites go wrong.
00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:19.440
They take a cultural complex supernatural being and retroactively turn it into African have reported a sixty-eight-foot dinosaur for centuries.
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:22.320
The source material doesn't really support that.
00:37:33.039 --> 00:37:42.480
At its deepest level, the Malambo stories repeatedly resolve around a fear of unknown predator lurking beneath the familiar river.
00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:44.000
Well, yeah, there's always that.
00:37:44.079 --> 00:37:45.440
You never know what's lower from below.
00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:46.320
Yeah, you never know.
00:37:48.639 --> 00:37:51.519
Like what's what's just below where I can't see?
00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:51.920
You know?
00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:53.840
Yeah, that's that's a no-no.
00:37:54.079 --> 00:38:01.360
Yeah, or you get in there and a little tweeny minnow fish brushes up against your leg, and you could swear that it was a whale that hit you.
00:38:01.679 --> 00:38:06.719
I've had something brush off my leg in Australia before, and I never got back in the ocean again.
00:38:06.960 --> 00:38:07.360
Really?
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:07.840
Yeah.
00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:10.320
What part of Australia were you?
00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:14.639
Uh uh I think it was in Geraldton, it was near Perth.
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:15.760
Oh, it was a shark.
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:16.079
I know.
00:38:16.239 --> 00:38:17.679
It was a megalodon.
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:18.400
It wasn't small.
00:38:18.559 --> 00:38:19.519
It was a megalodon.
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:24.159
Something brushed my leg, and it was like at least like I remember the what it is.
00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:29.039
People on the uh they're listening to us can't see you hold up your hands.
00:38:29.360 --> 00:38:29.840
Oh I know.
00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:35.840
It was like it felt like about somewhere between four or five inches long, hit my leg.
00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:37.519
And nope, I'm out.
00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:41.599
I don't care if it was seaweed, I don't care if it was just a tiny fish.
00:38:42.079 --> 00:38:42.559
I'm done.
00:38:42.719 --> 00:38:47.920
I never no really stick your head in the water and see what it was?
00:38:48.079 --> 00:38:48.159
No.
00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:52.000
No, no, no, and all of a sudden your next step is a hundred foot drop-off.
00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:53.199
Yeah, no, I'm no.
00:38:53.519 --> 00:38:54.239
Yeah, yeah.
00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:55.760
No, I think it was a shark.
00:38:55.920 --> 00:38:57.920
I think it was a shark leaked me.
00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:01.840
Do I want to eat this?
00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:02.320
Let's try.
00:39:03.519 --> 00:39:04.320
A little salty.
00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:05.440
I think I'm good.
00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:08.239
Unseasoned Irish.
00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:10.639
I think there's like a potato.
00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:12.719
That's okay.
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:13.920
Sorry.
00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:16.559
That was a little Irish racist.
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:17.119
Sorry.
00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:18.320
It's okay.
00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:19.599
We're we're a little racist.
00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:20.239
No, we're not.
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:20.559
We're not.
00:39:20.639 --> 00:39:21.119
I was good.
00:39:25.360 --> 00:39:29.039
Oh, I was taking a drink when he said that, and and I almost drowned.
00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:31.199
We're not racist, little people, it's okay.
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:34.079
Um so that's the Malambo.
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:34.800
That was cool.
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:35.519
I like that one.
00:39:35.599 --> 00:39:39.760
And then we had a really nice uh scientific learning experience.
00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:42.639
We are all the smarter because of it.
00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:44.960
There are phantom facts for today.
00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:45.679
I know.
00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:49.440
We're not just paranormal, we give you the facts that matter.
00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:51.599
We get the science right.
00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:55.519
Right earholes.
00:39:55.760 --> 00:40:00.079
And anytime we hear science that you need to hear about, like this one, we'll bring it to you.
00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:00.800
Exactly.
00:40:01.039 --> 00:40:02.320
We're not just paranormal.
00:40:02.480 --> 00:40:02.800
Yes.
00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:05.679
Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, we're not.
00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:11.599
Would you uh voluntarily wear that little uh disc for their science project?
00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:13.280
Uh I get no.
00:40:13.440 --> 00:40:15.599
I I mean, would they pay me?
00:40:16.239 --> 00:40:17.280
I'm sure they pay something.
00:40:19.039 --> 00:40:20.480
God help them, but I mean, you know.
00:40:20.719 --> 00:40:21.920
I don't know if I would.
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:27.679
I mean, I don't know how much I would help because I don't do that.
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:28.639
You don't fire?
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:28.960
No.
00:40:29.119 --> 00:40:29.280
No.
00:40:29.519 --> 00:40:29.840
Ever?
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:30.320
No.
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:34.639
Or do you are you really see if I waited to get to like get home and go, hang on a minute?
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:41.920
It's all days worth uh ten minutes long in the in the bathroom when I get home.
00:40:42.239 --> 00:40:43.840
I um I just crop this.
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:47.920
So uh let's talk about the Malambo.
00:40:48.159 --> 00:40:48.800
Malambo.
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:58.880
Would you take a trip to South Africa to look for the Malambo, or would you feel like I would love to go to South Africa.
00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:07.119
Um and I think it'd be very interesting to meet people and learn about uh to get hear their foreshand stories about like stuff like that.
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:09.199
Um would I do it personally on my own?
00:41:09.360 --> 00:41:10.079
Probably not.
00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:10.639
Okay.
00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:12.880
Um you'd have to be other group.
00:41:13.039 --> 00:41:16.239
Yeah, I'm not even so much a group, but like, yeah, I don't know.
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:22.480
I don't think I'd I'd I'm not so much a cryptid explorer like Ken is.
00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:28.079
If I could make a living traveling the world just looking for cryptids, yeah, I'm there.
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:29.199
Well, I mean, there you go.
00:41:29.840 --> 00:41:30.400
I am there.
00:41:30.719 --> 00:41:32.559
Definitely love talking to people about their culture.
00:41:32.639 --> 00:41:34.880
Uh you know.
00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:45.440
If I had a choice, if someone was gonna say, I will pay you to be a professional cryptid hunter or a ghost hunter or an alien hunter, I'd go cryptid all the time.
00:41:45.599 --> 00:41:46.079
Yeah, yeah.
00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:48.639
Go to killing fantastic places.
00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:57.440
And then I'd have a team that would be just scouring the world news so I can get there while it's actually talking.
00:41:57.840 --> 00:41:58.159
Yeah.
00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:01.280
That to me would seem like the the greatest thing.
00:42:01.519 --> 00:42:02.159
Absolutely.
00:42:02.639 --> 00:42:03.039
What about you?
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:07.039
If you had a someone's gonna pay you to be one of those three, which would you go for?
00:42:07.599 --> 00:42:10.800
I think I know the answer, but probably probably ghost.
00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:28.079
Yeah, I knew it! No survey says I have more of an interest in the psychology of a mind versus like if if there was a legitimate haunting, I wouldn't be convinced until I was absolutely sure.
00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:28.559
Okay.
00:42:28.719 --> 00:42:33.280
So shit could be floating around the room and be like, yeah, that's really scary and cool, but why?
00:42:33.519 --> 00:42:38.079
I don't believe it's I don't believe it's floating until I figure out how it's happened.
00:42:38.239 --> 00:42:38.559
Yeah.
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:39.760
Yeah, got it.
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:47.840
You know what I wanted to do in the uh mid to late 80s so badly that I was like, if someone had given me a million dollars, I would have quit everything and gone and done it.
00:42:48.079 --> 00:42:49.440
Gone to the 90s?
00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:52.079
No, well, that would happen anyway.
00:42:52.960 --> 00:43:07.679
That would have happened anyway, but I so wanted at one point to To drop everything and go to England and be the crop circle researcher, the top crop circle researcher.
00:43:09.440 --> 00:43:10.800
Late 80s, early 90s.
00:43:11.360 --> 00:43:12.400
Oh, I would have been there.
00:43:12.639 --> 00:43:17.119
I would have been there, I would have been looking at trying to figure out what made those crop circles.
00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:19.440
I'd be sitting up all night in the middle of a crop circle.
00:43:19.519 --> 00:43:22.079
I'd be sitting up on the ridges watching the crops.
00:43:22.639 --> 00:43:27.360
Just just looking at crops, waiting for them to lay down, you know.
00:43:27.760 --> 00:43:28.559
Crops lay down.
00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:29.599
Lay down, lay.
00:43:29.760 --> 00:43:31.039
They'd probably call me the scarecrow.
00:43:31.119 --> 00:43:33.280
I'd be up there so much looking watching the crops.
00:43:33.519 --> 00:43:38.159
I'd I threw my sorry, I threw my phone on uh loud because you were coming over.
00:43:38.639 --> 00:43:39.199
Me lower.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:40.559
Lower me, fowin.
00:43:40.719 --> 00:43:41.280
A little bit.
00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:45.760
So No, I would have done anything for that.
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:46.320
Yeah.
00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:46.719
Yeah.
00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:47.920
Okay, that's interesting.
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:48.400
That's interesting.
00:43:48.639 --> 00:43:49.280
I'm just saying.
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:49.760
Yeah.
00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:51.679
That's cool.
00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:52.719
That's interesting.
00:43:53.199 --> 00:43:59.519
And I I l I think we should definitely investigate a little bit more about South about Africa and South Africa.
00:43:59.599 --> 00:43:59.679
Okay.
00:44:00.639 --> 00:44:07.280
Yeah, I I love cryptids and I know that Africa has tons of them, and I need to I need to start diving into more of those.
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:15.039
I know that they I don't remember its name off the top of my head at this moment, but I know they have areas where they say dinosaurs are still running.
00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:15.599
Yeah.
00:44:16.239 --> 00:44:17.920
That'd be drive-sized dinosaurs.
00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:18.559
Yeah.
00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:22.159
I mean that'd be cool.
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:23.039
It really will be.
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:24.800
As long as there are plant eaters.
00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:30.559
Yeah, so I wouldn't have to run away from fucking T-Rex or something.
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:35.440
Because I don't want to be the one that to test the theory that they can only see movement.
00:44:37.920 --> 00:44:39.599
Stand there real still and all of a sudden I get eaten.
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:41.519
I guess that's not right.
00:44:42.159 --> 00:44:43.440
Shouldn't I listen to the movie?
00:44:43.760 --> 00:44:45.280
Dang it! Only ground.
00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:46.159
Why?
00:44:48.880 --> 00:44:54.719
So if you're out there listening and you want to know more about the Malambo, uh, please look it up.
00:44:55.039 --> 00:45:00.159
Um anyone in South Africa would like to talk to us and describe their Malambo sightings.
00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:05.840
You can go to phantomjourneys.com and leave us a message there, and we will be in touch with you.
00:45:06.079 --> 00:45:17.199
If you want to supply us with first-class tickets to South Africa so we can go looking for Malambo, leave a message as well, and we will definitely, definitely get back to you as quickly as humanly possible.
00:45:17.519 --> 00:45:17.760
Absolutely.
00:45:17.920 --> 00:45:22.639
And while you're on Phantom Journeys Podcast, you can also check out our archives.
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:23.360
Archives.
00:45:23.599 --> 00:45:28.960
We have blogs, blogs, and we have a really cool merch section that you should go check out.
00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:30.719
And it would support a show.
00:45:31.119 --> 00:45:31.599
It would.
00:45:32.159 --> 00:45:32.639
A little bit.
00:45:32.960 --> 00:45:34.639
Enough to get us some upgrades.
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:42.159
Upgrades won't get us to South Africa, but you know, you know, new equipment would be very appreciated.
00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:46.000
Because I think one thing that we really need is chairs.
00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:46.800
Chairs now.
00:45:47.360 --> 00:45:50.719
Because I broke one chair that I mean it wasn't you probably tear it all the time.
00:45:50.880 --> 00:45:55.679
Yeah, he throws them across the room when he gets upset about things, you know.
00:45:56.800 --> 00:45:58.880
I just have chair holes in my wall.
00:45:59.920 --> 00:46:01.199
That's a chair hole.
00:46:02.159 --> 00:46:02.800
What's this?
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:04.000
That's another chair hole.
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:05.119
I don't do that.
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:05.440
No.
00:46:05.679 --> 00:46:06.800
I'll come against the outside.
00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:07.920
It was a big chair.
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:10.480
I'm putting a new window in.
00:46:11.599 --> 00:46:13.440
It's the size of a chair hole.
00:46:14.480 --> 00:46:22.639
Uh yeah, so please uh tell a hundred friends that you uh listen to us on uh phantomjourneys.com.
00:46:24.880 --> 00:46:25.280
What's that?
00:46:25.440 --> 00:46:27.760
Tell your AI to come listen to us too.
00:46:29.199 --> 00:46:31.199
We had this discussion beforehand.
00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:33.519
If AI AI has to be.
00:46:34.159 --> 00:46:45.840
We had we had an instance where we had someone somewhere in the world listen to every single episode of the Phantom Journeys in like one day.
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:46.880
One day.
00:46:47.360 --> 00:46:48.320
Which is impossible.
00:46:48.559 --> 00:46:51.280
Because they're an hour generally an hour long, and there's over a hundred.
00:46:51.360 --> 00:46:54.320
So I mean you're looking at a good long weekend, if not more.
00:46:54.639 --> 00:47:02.239
Or less like a group of people go, okay, Mike, you're gonna listen to episode one to ten, Tommy, eleven to twenty.
00:47:02.639 --> 00:47:04.239
Everyone's gonna listen to it all at once.
00:47:04.480 --> 00:47:06.159
You you know their name, so you know who did it.
00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:06.880
Oh shit, I do.
00:47:07.119 --> 00:47:07.440
Damn.
00:47:07.679 --> 00:47:08.719
Oh no, we we don't.
00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:08.960
Okay.
00:47:09.119 --> 00:47:12.239
We just thought it was really strange, and we were just trying to figure out.
00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:20.880
So the only thing we could think of is that AI or some kind of based thing, you know, went researched every episode.
00:47:21.119 --> 00:47:23.360
When Ken came on today, I was like, I need to try something.
00:47:23.519 --> 00:47:25.840
I asked an AOA, I was like, can you do this?
00:47:25.920 --> 00:47:26.480
And they said no.
00:47:27.039 --> 00:47:30.000
It can't listen to episodes, you have to give it to you have to like upload it.
00:47:30.079 --> 00:47:31.360
Yeah, so it can't give you much.
00:47:31.840 --> 00:47:33.840
You can't just go to our website and listen to them, yeah.
00:47:34.239 --> 00:47:35.119
Bloody monetize.
00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:37.599
So I don't understand it.
00:47:37.679 --> 00:47:38.320
But you know what?
00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:42.320
To those people or that person I know, it just came to me.
00:47:42.480 --> 00:47:46.880
What aliens all the cryptans all at once just listen to it.
00:47:46.960 --> 00:47:48.239
No, all the aliens, all the aliens.
00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:59.679
There's a mothership that just decided, hey, I like that guy's t-shirt, because I was running the Phantom Journeys uh website, uh Phantom Journeys t-shirt the other day, and uh and they said, I like that t-shirt, I'm gonna go check it out.
00:47:59.840 --> 00:48:02.559
And they downloaded every episode in within 24 hours.
00:48:02.800 --> 00:48:03.199
Interesting.
00:48:03.280 --> 00:48:03.679
Interesting.
00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:04.239
I don't know.
00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:08.800
I mean, I guess you can download them in our accounts, so maybe someone just downloaded 110 episodes.
00:48:09.199 --> 00:48:09.760
Well, thank you.
00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:12.000
And if you're out there, thank you very much.
00:48:12.159 --> 00:48:12.960
We appreciate you.
00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:13.519
We love you.
00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:13.920
Thank you.
00:48:14.159 --> 00:48:29.280
And if you can go and leave five-star review on whatever platform you use to listen to these, it would actually help us out a great deal and and bring more people to our little web website podcast and listen to the uh the content that we've been bringing you.
00:48:29.599 --> 00:48:31.039
Absolutely, absolutely.
00:48:31.599 --> 00:48:33.199
Right, so Ken, that was cool.
00:48:33.280 --> 00:48:34.719
Let's um let's leave it there.
00:48:34.800 --> 00:48:36.719
Unless you have anything more you'd like to talk about.
00:48:37.199 --> 00:48:38.000
No, I'm good.
00:48:38.159 --> 00:48:41.199
I think I've uh sufficiently covered a lot of bases today.
00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:44.639
You absolutely have science from cryptids from head to ass.
00:48:45.039 --> 00:48:45.920
That's right.
00:48:46.559 --> 00:48:52.639
So bring it when you need the news that goes from head to ass, come to phantomjourneys.com.
00:48:53.360 --> 00:48:54.800
And you know what?
00:48:54.960 --> 00:48:55.599
You know what?
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:56.000
What?
00:48:56.079 --> 00:48:56.559
You know what?
00:48:56.719 --> 00:48:56.880
What?
00:48:57.360 --> 00:48:58.880
What uh I think in.
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:04.960
And you've been listening to the Phantom Journeys Podcast.
00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:09.039
I know you want to say something.
00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:12.400
I was waiting for you to hear the fart noise.
00:49:14.239 --> 00:49:14.960
Alright, bro.
00:49:16.079 --> 00:49:20.400
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00:49:20.639 --> 00:49:22.639
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00:49:22.800 --> 00:49:26.239
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00:49:26.320 --> 00:49:32.000
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00:49:35.039 --> 00:49:38.480
This has been the Phantom Journeys Podcast.
00:49:38.719 --> 00:49:47.920
The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the hosts and guests, and not necessarily the views of our sponsors or producers.
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:50.320
Living or dead.
00:49:54.320 --> 00:49:57.360
I'm Grim, your local Reaper.
00:49:58.559 --> 00:50:01.360
Be a part of the show and send me Grim.
00:50:01.760 --> 00:50:08.239
You know your hunky Grim Reaper, your experiences with ghosts, aliens, monsters, or even with me.
00:50:08.639 --> 00:50:12.000
Grim, we are looking for real experiences.
00:50:12.320 --> 00:50:16.880
You can send us an email through our website at Phantom Turkeys.com.
00:50:17.360 --> 00:50:18.880
If you survive,