[0:01] Welcome to Navigating Complex Divorce and Parenting Issues with Attorney Melanie Walls.
[0:07] Welcome to Navigating Complex Divorce and Parenting Issues with Attorney Melanie Walls.
[0:13] Melanie is an OSBA certified specialist in family relations law, who works with families
[0:19] to create detailed parenting arrangements in complex custody cases, including situations involving
[0:25] high conflict, demanding schedules, or significant disagreements between parents.
[0:30] I'm Lisa Mosbey-Host, and today we're focusing on how parenting plans are built in more
[0:36] complicated custody situations and what tends to make those arrangements workable over time.
[0:43] Welcome Melanie.
[0:44] Oh, sorry.
[0:45] Let me start over here on that one.
[0:47] Welcome Melanie.
[0:48] Thank you so much for joining me today.
[0:49] Well, thanks for having me.
[0:50] You know, Melanie, what kinds of situations usually require a more detailed or customized parenting
[0:57] plan?
[0:58] Well, those are usually high conflict cases where the parents are constantly bickering over
[1:04] everything.
[1:05] For example, you know, they can't agree on what sport the child is going to participate in.
[1:10] You've also got, you know, parents with complicated work schedules.
[1:15] You have long distance parenting.
[1:17] You have special needs children.
[1:19] You have parents with mental health issues, substance abuse issues.
[1:25] So the more complicated the family dynamic, the more detailed you need your parenting plan
[1:31] to be.
[1:32] You've got to put in more structure and more predictability than you would with parents who
[1:38] say, oh, we don't need to address who holds the passport.
[1:43] You know, we'll just alternate years for that.
[1:47] But parents that are, there's a lot of animosity, you know, you're going to have to put in there
[1:54] an odd numbered years mom has the passport and even numbered years dad has the passport.
[1:59] You really have to put details into those plans.
[2:03] Otherwise they're going to be coming back to court and when you do a parenting plan as
[2:08] in a family law attorney, your goal is to get these parents through the child turning 18
[2:16] and graduating from high school and never having to come back, you know, to court.
[2:22] You have a file of motion to address either something that wasn't in the plan or something
[2:28] that wasn't clear in the plan, you know, so you really want to, and a lot of times it's
[2:33] hard to get the clients to get on board with, hey, you know, we're not just looking at the
[2:39] here and now.
[2:40] I know your child is five, but you know, at some point your child's going to be 15.
[2:46] You know, what do you want their internet access to look like?
[2:50] Do you want parameters?
[2:51] Do you want to address?
[2:52] Whether or not you're going to purchase a vehicle for that child when the child turns 16 and
[2:58] how you're going to allocate those expenses?
[3:02] So it's hard to get the parents to think down the road.
[3:05] I mean, obviously, because parents don't have or want to think of their children growing
[3:08] up and leaving the nest, but you have to address those in high conflict cases just to make
[3:14] sure that any scenario that's going to come up down the road is addressed and that they
[3:19] don't have to, you know, come back to court.
[3:22] There's a document that already contains all of it and it's all spelled out, that makes
[3:26] sense.
[3:27] Yes.
[3:28] Yes, we have to.
[3:29] You mentioned demanding work schedules.
[3:31] How do demanding work schedules travel or other obligations affect the way parenting time
[3:36] is arranged?
[3:37] Well, I mean, I think sometimes the parents have to be flexible as best they can.
[3:43] You know, you have firefighters who are on 24 off 48.
[3:49] You have nurses that work 312s.
[3:53] You may have someone in sales, for example, that has to travel either nationally or internationally.
[4:01] So you've got to kind of balance being flexible, but also having consistency for the children.
[4:10] You don't want them bouncing around.
[4:12] I'm a huge fan of one schedule for the school year and another schedule for the summer because
[4:20] I think it's very important once the kids are school aged to have consistency and not be,
[4:28] for example, let's say you have a mom that travels for work and it's her week with the children,
[4:34] but yet she's got a travel to Indianapolis for three days.
[4:40] And then you're packing the kids up and saying, oh, you've got to go stay with dad because
[4:43] I've got to go to Indy for work.
[4:46] And it's just, you know, disruptive, you know, for the kids, especially during the school
[4:50] year, we're in the summer time.
[4:52] It's not asking.
[4:53] It's not that big of a deal.
[4:54] We're going to have to go over to dads for a few days because mom's got to go to Indy
[4:57] for work.
[4:58] So I mean, I think you have to be creative, you have to be flexible, and you also ultimately
[5:05] have to keep in mind that children need consistency.
[5:10] How do parenting plans address decision-making when parents have very different communication
[5:17] styles or even priorities for the child?
[5:20] Sometimes you can put in a plan of fallback.
[5:24] For example, you know, mother and father will try to reach an agreement regarding extra
[5:29] critical activities.
[5:30] But if they're unable to reach an agreement, you know, dad has the final say.
[5:36] You can put in a provision like that.
[5:39] You can have them use a tool such as our family wizard, which is a communication tool.
[5:46] And you know, you put in their parameters such as, you know, the other parent must respond
[5:51] within 24 hours of receiving the communication from the other parent.
[5:57] You can put parameters in such as, you know, the communication is going to be limited to,
[6:03] you know, state your issue, state your position, and no extraneous information, and you can kind
[6:12] of map out for them what the actual communication, you know, should look like.
[6:18] And then there's parameters on the other parent.
[6:21] You know, you're only to respond to the topic that's in the communication.
[6:26] You can't add anything else in there, no extraneous information, and just keep it limited
[6:32] to that particular topic.
[6:35] And if you found that those types of details or provisions tend to alleviate future conflict
[6:42] between parents, I mean, you hope it does.
[6:46] But, you know, every once in a while you're going to get parents who just, for whatever reason
[6:51] or another, whether it's animosity or other issues, cannot communicate.
[6:58] And sometimes what we end up doing in these high conflict cases where mom and dad are constantly
[7:04] filing motion after motion after motion, the court appoints a parenting coordinator.
[7:12] And that parenting coordinator steps in and essentially will work through an issue with mom
[7:19] and dad.
[7:20] And if they can't get it worked out, then the parent coordinator actually issues a decision.
[7:25] For example, you know, mom wants the child to play football in the fall, and dad wants the
[7:31] child to play soccer, they both dug their heels in, just can't reach an agreement.
[7:40] You know, the parent coordinator can issue a decision and say, you know, the child is going
[7:43] to play soccer in the fall.
[7:46] And then the parent, who isn't in agreement with that decision, can file objections and
[7:51] have the magistrate take a look at it, you know, probably won't be overturned.
[7:57] But that's a, you know, a tool that came into place a few years ago on the Supreme Court
[8:02] developed this parent coordinator position.
[8:08] And you know, you get training through the Supreme Court of Ohio, and then you're appointed
[8:14] to the court's parent coordinator list, and then you get assigned assigned to a case.
[8:18] And those are, those are the ones where the parents are constantly filing motions.
[8:24] How do parenting plans adapt when communication between parents is difficult or unreliable?
[8:30] You can have fallback provisions in your shared parenting plan about communication.
[8:35] For example, you know, the parents will utilize text message as the primary avenue for communicating
[8:42] regarding the children, however, if there's a communication breakdown, and one parent
[8:47] or the other feels that the communication has deteriorated, and the parent shall use our
[8:54] family wizard.
[8:55] Our family wizard has a tone monitor.
[8:58] It's a great tool for parents.
[9:01] It has, you can upload expenses, you can accept or reject an expense for a child.
[9:09] It's really a good aid for parents that are having communication issues.
[9:15] How do the courts evaluate whether a proposed parenting plan is realistic and workable for
[9:21] the child?
[9:22] Well, they use the best interest factors to determine whether or not the shared parenting
[9:27] plan is in the best interest of the children.
[9:30] You know, they may ask questions such as, you know, what's mom's work schedule, what's
[9:35] dad's work schedule, are there other relatives close by or a grandma and grandpa down the
[9:41] street?
[9:42] You know, they can also help out with child care.
[9:45] So they will take a look at the family dynamic and then look at the schedule that's set
[9:51] forth in the plan and then make a decision.
[9:55] And Melanie, is there an example from your work where a parenting plan had to address challenges
[10:00] that weren't immediately obvious at the beginning of the case?
[10:04] Yes.
[10:05] I mean, sometimes, you know, when parents reach a decision on a shared parenting plan and
[10:11] they pick a schedule and, you know, they do it for a year or two, you know, or things change,
[10:20] you know, with their work schedules, they realize that that plan no longer works.
[10:25] And they have to file a motion to modify the shared parenting plan.
[10:30] You know, for example, I have a case right now where they did, you know, an example is
[10:35] Monday mom, Tuesday dad, Wednesday mom, Thursday dad, you know, the kids getting a little older
[10:42] and it's just not working for him.
[10:45] It's too much going back and forth.
[10:47] So they need to switch to a more traditional two, two, five such as, you know, Monday, Tuesday
[10:53] mom, Wednesday, Thursday dad, alternate weekends.
[10:56] So there's more consistency.
[10:58] I mean, they may want to look into, you know, a week on week off schedule, but, you know,
[11:03] sometimes after a year or two of following, you know, what the parents believed was a good
[11:09] schedule for the child or children, turns out over time, you know, not to be a long term
[11:15] schedule that works for the child and they've got to pivot and adjust.
[11:21] And, you know, what you want to see is two parents agreeing and saying, yeah, we need
[11:26] to change the schedule.
[11:27] It's not working.
[11:28] But a lot of times you'll have one parent or the other want to resist a change in the schedule
[11:33] and you have to, you know, file a motion and come into court.
[11:38] You may need to have a guardian at light.
[11:39] I'm appointed to interview mom, interview dad, talk to the children and come up with a, come
[11:46] up with a recommendation.
[11:48] I recently had a case where, you know, mom and dad did a week on week off, but they lived
[11:55] close to each other and they both lived in the school district.
[11:59] Then one parent moved away to a different part of town, making the commute to get the kids
[12:07] to and from school, you know, 30 minutes or so.
[12:12] After about a year of that, you know, the kids didn't want to be in the car, you know, 30 minutes
[12:16] earlier every morning going to school and 30 minutes after.
[12:21] So the one parent filed a motion, we had a guardian at light, I'm appointed.
[12:26] The guardian at light, I made their recommendations which, you know, significantly is significantly
[12:31] changing the parenting schedule during the school year, but leaving the summer schedule the
[12:38] same.
[12:39] You know, everything that I'm hearing from you today is we think that we are creating
[12:43] the parenting schedule as the parents, but these parenting plans are really for the children
[12:49] and I think if we can focus our attention on how they serve the kids, then maybe it might
[12:56] alleviate some of the tension.
[12:58] I don't know.
[12:59] Have you thought through that and, you know, from your perspective?
[13:03] I think it's a really good point and you see this, you see this a lot, you know, terminating
[13:09] a marriage is emotional, it's a big, you know, upheaval for the family, but sometimes
[13:15] you see a couple of different dynamics from the parents, the, you know, even Steven, you
[13:22] know, he can't have an hour more than I have, you know, it has to be equal, we can't, can't
[13:27] have an extra overnight.
[13:30] And then you have the parent that is not considering the child, you know, it's, I don't want
[13:38] to be away from my child, I don't want to, you know, go five days without seeing my child.
[13:45] Because I, instead of, well, this, this would be what is best for my child.
[13:52] So sometimes you get that too and they, and they don't want to let go.
[13:56] I mean, they're used to seeing their children every day and, you know, the reality is it
[14:02] just isn't going to happen and you've got to adjust, you know, to that new normal by not
[14:10] being so possessory of I have to see my child or I can't go without my child and more
[14:16] to a, you know, what makes sense for my child and what is going to be the best transition
[14:23] for my child, going from one, one parent to the other.
[14:27] And Melanie, another thought that comes to mind is you've been doing this for many, many years.
[14:32] And so you've probably seen from the beginning when somebody, when they were evenly split
[14:37] and, and they were handling it, but over time it, sometimes one parent has the child
[14:42] more, sometimes the other parent has the child more over time, just because maybe you have
[14:47] a health issue or your work takes you away or this, you're closer to their sport that they're
[14:52] involved in.
[14:53] You know, does some of that stuff tend to average out over time from your perspective?
[14:59] I mean, what, what, what we tell, what we tell clients regarding a shared parenting plan
[15:04] is look, this is a fall back for if you and the other parent cannot communicate and cannot
[15:13] be flexible, but, you know, you can agree to what everyone will agree to that works best,
[15:20] you know, for your family, you know, this is not set in stone.
[15:23] You have to be flexible as your children get older as the needs of your children change.
[15:30] So, you know, the shared parenting plan is the fall back.
[15:35] The hope is that parents can make adjustments and reach agreements and don't need to necessarily
[15:45] follow what's in their shared parenting plan, but can make the changes that work best for
[15:51] their children as, you know, parents move, kids change schools, they may go to, you know,
[15:58] one grade school, but then switch, you know, to a different high school, a different location.
[16:04] You know, your hope is that they do what's best for the children, but if they can't and they
[16:10] can't get along, then, you know, your response is, what does the shared parenting plan say?
[16:16] This has been terrific today.
[16:17] Thank you so much for your insights.
[16:19] I've enjoyed, enjoyed this conversation immensely.
[16:23] Oh, thanks for having me.
[16:25] It was my pleasure.
[16:26] That's it for today's episode of Navigating Complex Divorce and Parenting Issues with
[16:31] Attorney Melanie Walls.
[16:33] To learn more about Melanie's practice or request a consultation, visit MelanieWallslaw.com.
[16:40] Thank you so much for listening and don't forget to like, subscribe to the show, and leave
[16:44] a review if you found this episode helpful, and we'll see you next time.
[0:07] Welcome to Navigating Complex Divorce and Parenting Issues with Attorney Melanie Walls.
[0:13] Melanie is an OSBA certified specialist in family relations law, who works with families
[0:19] to create detailed parenting arrangements in complex custody cases, including situations involving
[0:25] high conflict, demanding schedules, or significant disagreements between parents.
[0:30] I'm Lisa Mosbey-Host, and today we're focusing on how parenting plans are built in more
[0:36] complicated custody situations and what tends to make those arrangements workable over time.
[0:43] Welcome Melanie.
[0:44] Oh, sorry.
[0:45] Let me start over here on that one.
[0:47] Welcome Melanie.
[0:48] Thank you so much for joining me today.
[0:49] Well, thanks for having me.
[0:50] You know, Melanie, what kinds of situations usually require a more detailed or customized parenting
[0:57] plan?
[0:58] Well, those are usually high conflict cases where the parents are constantly bickering over
[1:04] everything.
[1:05] For example, you know, they can't agree on what sport the child is going to participate in.
[1:10] You've also got, you know, parents with complicated work schedules.
[1:15] You have long distance parenting.
[1:17] You have special needs children.
[1:19] You have parents with mental health issues, substance abuse issues.
[1:25] So the more complicated the family dynamic, the more detailed you need your parenting plan
[1:31] to be.
[1:32] You've got to put in more structure and more predictability than you would with parents who
[1:38] say, oh, we don't need to address who holds the passport.
[1:43] You know, we'll just alternate years for that.
[1:47] But parents that are, there's a lot of animosity, you know, you're going to have to put in there
[1:54] an odd numbered years mom has the passport and even numbered years dad has the passport.
[1:59] You really have to put details into those plans.
[2:03] Otherwise they're going to be coming back to court and when you do a parenting plan as
[2:08] in a family law attorney, your goal is to get these parents through the child turning 18
[2:16] and graduating from high school and never having to come back, you know, to court.
[2:22] You have a file of motion to address either something that wasn't in the plan or something
[2:28] that wasn't clear in the plan, you know, so you really want to, and a lot of times it's
[2:33] hard to get the clients to get on board with, hey, you know, we're not just looking at the
[2:39] here and now.
[2:40] I know your child is five, but you know, at some point your child's going to be 15.
[2:46] You know, what do you want their internet access to look like?
[2:50] Do you want parameters?
[2:51] Do you want to address?
[2:52] Whether or not you're going to purchase a vehicle for that child when the child turns 16 and
[2:58] how you're going to allocate those expenses?
[3:02] So it's hard to get the parents to think down the road.
[3:05] I mean, obviously, because parents don't have or want to think of their children growing
[3:08] up and leaving the nest, but you have to address those in high conflict cases just to make
[3:14] sure that any scenario that's going to come up down the road is addressed and that they
[3:19] don't have to, you know, come back to court.
[3:22] There's a document that already contains all of it and it's all spelled out, that makes
[3:26] sense.
[3:27] Yes.
[3:28] Yes, we have to.
[3:29] You mentioned demanding work schedules.
[3:31] How do demanding work schedules travel or other obligations affect the way parenting time
[3:36] is arranged?
[3:37] Well, I mean, I think sometimes the parents have to be flexible as best they can.
[3:43] You know, you have firefighters who are on 24 off 48.
[3:49] You have nurses that work 312s.
[3:53] You may have someone in sales, for example, that has to travel either nationally or internationally.
[4:01] So you've got to kind of balance being flexible, but also having consistency for the children.
[4:10] You don't want them bouncing around.
[4:12] I'm a huge fan of one schedule for the school year and another schedule for the summer because
[4:20] I think it's very important once the kids are school aged to have consistency and not be,
[4:28] for example, let's say you have a mom that travels for work and it's her week with the children,
[4:34] but yet she's got a travel to Indianapolis for three days.
[4:40] And then you're packing the kids up and saying, oh, you've got to go stay with dad because
[4:43] I've got to go to Indy for work.
[4:46] And it's just, you know, disruptive, you know, for the kids, especially during the school
[4:50] year, we're in the summer time.
[4:52] It's not asking.
[4:53] It's not that big of a deal.
[4:54] We're going to have to go over to dads for a few days because mom's got to go to Indy
[4:57] for work.
[4:58] So I mean, I think you have to be creative, you have to be flexible, and you also ultimately
[5:05] have to keep in mind that children need consistency.
[5:10] How do parenting plans address decision-making when parents have very different communication
[5:17] styles or even priorities for the child?
[5:20] Sometimes you can put in a plan of fallback.
[5:24] For example, you know, mother and father will try to reach an agreement regarding extra
[5:29] critical activities.
[5:30] But if they're unable to reach an agreement, you know, dad has the final say.
[5:36] You can put in a provision like that.
[5:39] You can have them use a tool such as our family wizard, which is a communication tool.
[5:46] And you know, you put in their parameters such as, you know, the other parent must respond
[5:51] within 24 hours of receiving the communication from the other parent.
[5:57] You can put parameters in such as, you know, the communication is going to be limited to,
[6:03] you know, state your issue, state your position, and no extraneous information, and you can kind
[6:12] of map out for them what the actual communication, you know, should look like.
[6:18] And then there's parameters on the other parent.
[6:21] You know, you're only to respond to the topic that's in the communication.
[6:26] You can't add anything else in there, no extraneous information, and just keep it limited
[6:32] to that particular topic.
[6:35] And if you found that those types of details or provisions tend to alleviate future conflict
[6:42] between parents, I mean, you hope it does.
[6:46] But, you know, every once in a while you're going to get parents who just, for whatever reason
[6:51] or another, whether it's animosity or other issues, cannot communicate.
[6:58] And sometimes what we end up doing in these high conflict cases where mom and dad are constantly
[7:04] filing motion after motion after motion, the court appoints a parenting coordinator.
[7:12] And that parenting coordinator steps in and essentially will work through an issue with mom
[7:19] and dad.
[7:20] And if they can't get it worked out, then the parent coordinator actually issues a decision.
[7:25] For example, you know, mom wants the child to play football in the fall, and dad wants the
[7:31] child to play soccer, they both dug their heels in, just can't reach an agreement.
[7:40] You know, the parent coordinator can issue a decision and say, you know, the child is going
[7:43] to play soccer in the fall.
[7:46] And then the parent, who isn't in agreement with that decision, can file objections and
[7:51] have the magistrate take a look at it, you know, probably won't be overturned.
[7:57] But that's a, you know, a tool that came into place a few years ago on the Supreme Court
[8:02] developed this parent coordinator position.
[8:08] And you know, you get training through the Supreme Court of Ohio, and then you're appointed
[8:14] to the court's parent coordinator list, and then you get assigned assigned to a case.
[8:18] And those are, those are the ones where the parents are constantly filing motions.
[8:24] How do parenting plans adapt when communication between parents is difficult or unreliable?
[8:30] You can have fallback provisions in your shared parenting plan about communication.
[8:35] For example, you know, the parents will utilize text message as the primary avenue for communicating
[8:42] regarding the children, however, if there's a communication breakdown, and one parent
[8:47] or the other feels that the communication has deteriorated, and the parent shall use our
[8:54] family wizard.
[8:55] Our family wizard has a tone monitor.
[8:58] It's a great tool for parents.
[9:01] It has, you can upload expenses, you can accept or reject an expense for a child.
[9:09] It's really a good aid for parents that are having communication issues.
[9:15] How do the courts evaluate whether a proposed parenting plan is realistic and workable for
[9:21] the child?
[9:22] Well, they use the best interest factors to determine whether or not the shared parenting
[9:27] plan is in the best interest of the children.
[9:30] You know, they may ask questions such as, you know, what's mom's work schedule, what's
[9:35] dad's work schedule, are there other relatives close by or a grandma and grandpa down the
[9:41] street?
[9:42] You know, they can also help out with child care.
[9:45] So they will take a look at the family dynamic and then look at the schedule that's set
[9:51] forth in the plan and then make a decision.
[9:55] And Melanie, is there an example from your work where a parenting plan had to address challenges
[10:00] that weren't immediately obvious at the beginning of the case?
[10:04] Yes.
[10:05] I mean, sometimes, you know, when parents reach a decision on a shared parenting plan and
[10:11] they pick a schedule and, you know, they do it for a year or two, you know, or things change,
[10:20] you know, with their work schedules, they realize that that plan no longer works.
[10:25] And they have to file a motion to modify the shared parenting plan.
[10:30] You know, for example, I have a case right now where they did, you know, an example is
[10:35] Monday mom, Tuesday dad, Wednesday mom, Thursday dad, you know, the kids getting a little older
[10:42] and it's just not working for him.
[10:45] It's too much going back and forth.
[10:47] So they need to switch to a more traditional two, two, five such as, you know, Monday, Tuesday
[10:53] mom, Wednesday, Thursday dad, alternate weekends.
[10:56] So there's more consistency.
[10:58] I mean, they may want to look into, you know, a week on week off schedule, but, you know,
[11:03] sometimes after a year or two of following, you know, what the parents believed was a good
[11:09] schedule for the child or children, turns out over time, you know, not to be a long term
[11:15] schedule that works for the child and they've got to pivot and adjust.
[11:21] And, you know, what you want to see is two parents agreeing and saying, yeah, we need
[11:26] to change the schedule.
[11:27] It's not working.
[11:28] But a lot of times you'll have one parent or the other want to resist a change in the schedule
[11:33] and you have to, you know, file a motion and come into court.
[11:38] You may need to have a guardian at light.
[11:39] I'm appointed to interview mom, interview dad, talk to the children and come up with a, come
[11:46] up with a recommendation.
[11:48] I recently had a case where, you know, mom and dad did a week on week off, but they lived
[11:55] close to each other and they both lived in the school district.
[11:59] Then one parent moved away to a different part of town, making the commute to get the kids
[12:07] to and from school, you know, 30 minutes or so.
[12:12] After about a year of that, you know, the kids didn't want to be in the car, you know, 30 minutes
[12:16] earlier every morning going to school and 30 minutes after.
[12:21] So the one parent filed a motion, we had a guardian at light, I'm appointed.
[12:26] The guardian at light, I made their recommendations which, you know, significantly is significantly
[12:31] changing the parenting schedule during the school year, but leaving the summer schedule the
[12:38] same.
[12:39] You know, everything that I'm hearing from you today is we think that we are creating
[12:43] the parenting schedule as the parents, but these parenting plans are really for the children
[12:49] and I think if we can focus our attention on how they serve the kids, then maybe it might
[12:56] alleviate some of the tension.
[12:58] I don't know.
[12:59] Have you thought through that and, you know, from your perspective?
[13:03] I think it's a really good point and you see this, you see this a lot, you know, terminating
[13:09] a marriage is emotional, it's a big, you know, upheaval for the family, but sometimes
[13:15] you see a couple of different dynamics from the parents, the, you know, even Steven, you
[13:22] know, he can't have an hour more than I have, you know, it has to be equal, we can't, can't
[13:27] have an extra overnight.
[13:30] And then you have the parent that is not considering the child, you know, it's, I don't want
[13:38] to be away from my child, I don't want to, you know, go five days without seeing my child.
[13:45] Because I, instead of, well, this, this would be what is best for my child.
[13:52] So sometimes you get that too and they, and they don't want to let go.
[13:56] I mean, they're used to seeing their children every day and, you know, the reality is it
[14:02] just isn't going to happen and you've got to adjust, you know, to that new normal by not
[14:10] being so possessory of I have to see my child or I can't go without my child and more
[14:16] to a, you know, what makes sense for my child and what is going to be the best transition
[14:23] for my child, going from one, one parent to the other.
[14:27] And Melanie, another thought that comes to mind is you've been doing this for many, many years.
[14:32] And so you've probably seen from the beginning when somebody, when they were evenly split
[14:37] and, and they were handling it, but over time it, sometimes one parent has the child
[14:42] more, sometimes the other parent has the child more over time, just because maybe you have
[14:47] a health issue or your work takes you away or this, you're closer to their sport that they're
[14:52] involved in.
[14:53] You know, does some of that stuff tend to average out over time from your perspective?
[14:59] I mean, what, what, what we tell, what we tell clients regarding a shared parenting plan
[15:04] is look, this is a fall back for if you and the other parent cannot communicate and cannot
[15:13] be flexible, but, you know, you can agree to what everyone will agree to that works best,
[15:20] you know, for your family, you know, this is not set in stone.
[15:23] You have to be flexible as your children get older as the needs of your children change.
[15:30] So, you know, the shared parenting plan is the fall back.
[15:35] The hope is that parents can make adjustments and reach agreements and don't need to necessarily
[15:45] follow what's in their shared parenting plan, but can make the changes that work best for
[15:51] their children as, you know, parents move, kids change schools, they may go to, you know,
[15:58] one grade school, but then switch, you know, to a different high school, a different location.
[16:04] You know, your hope is that they do what's best for the children, but if they can't and they
[16:10] can't get along, then, you know, your response is, what does the shared parenting plan say?
[16:16] This has been terrific today.
[16:17] Thank you so much for your insights.
[16:19] I've enjoyed, enjoyed this conversation immensely.
[16:23] Oh, thanks for having me.
[16:25] It was my pleasure.
[16:26] That's it for today's episode of Navigating Complex Divorce and Parenting Issues with
[16:31] Attorney Melanie Walls.
[16:33] To learn more about Melanie's practice or request a consultation, visit MelanieWallslaw.com.
[16:40] Thank you so much for listening and don't forget to like, subscribe to the show, and leave
[16:44] a review if you found this episode helpful, and we'll see you next time.
