ÜBER DIESE EPISODE
This episode is raw, real, and straight from the soul. I’m sharing 8 powerful lessons that came through during a deep shadow walk—where I met my rage, held my grief, and saw my doubt for what it really is: unprocessed pain begging for belief.
We talk healing.
We talk integration.
We talk about how to re-parent the inner child in real time… with love, praise, encouragement, and trust.
You’ll hear how suffering can be sacred when we stop resisting it.
How anger, when honored, becomes clarity. How living as loving awareness isn’t a goal—it’s who we already are when we stop pretending.
This is for anyone doing the work. Anyone learning to trust the breakdown.
And anyone ready to stop defining themselves by old wounds and start embodying who they really are now.
Watch my highlight reel of the walk here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIroXSUTVDE/?igsh=Y21oc293OW1maGw=
Connect With Matt Travis (the genius behind the Shadow Walk idea): https://www.instagram.com/thepotentialu?igsh=MXc3eGRuazdhM2xwYQ==
About Your Host, Megan Nolan: Megan helps highly sensitive, ambitious women 40+ overcome anxiety holistically so they can excel in life without losing themselves. With 20+ years as a yoga instructor & personal trainer, she teaches mind-body tools to break free from stress and thrive with impact, freedom, and joy.
She is a: 📚 Bestselling Author | 🎙 Podcast Host | 🌎 Mental Health Advocate
Check Out Her Website: https://www.megan-nolan.com/
Follow Her On Instagram: www.instagram.com/iammegannolan
Please find the show notes below. Since it is a transcription, there may be spelling errors and/or weird grammar. Ignore that and enjoy!
My shadow walk changed me
8 lessons that I learned on Saturday when
I went on a five mile journey into my
soul. Deeper than that of course, but an
actual physical five mile journey that
totally transformed who I am. I
started the walk as one person and I am
very much a different person now
and that was the intention of this
journey. So my friend Matt Travis.
Was given this idea of
guiding people all around the world on
this shadow walk. Shadow walk being
a walk with the intention of
connecting to and
deepening your relationship with your
shadow aspects of yourself that you
maybe are frustrated by, or you maybe
have outgrown, or maybe are slowing you
down, or different patterns that are part
of who you are but aren't necessarily.
Serving the expansion that you want to
experience so that you can continue
forward on your journey. They're part of
you nonetheless. And so they hold the key
for deep self-awareness, deep self
understanding, deep self love
ultimately. And so the
journey was really interesting. So around
the world, we all simultaneously went on
our own walk, Matt said so beautifully.
It's not about distance, it's about
depth, right?And it's not about, you
know. Do walking the 26 mile path that
he walked. It's doing what you feel
called to do, but do it very
intentionally. So he set out this whole
journey for us with these deep diving
journaling questions and a really
beautiful playlist. So
me true to form
didn't realize that we won't weren't
supposed to do this prep work
really ahead of time. I didn't know that
till we went to the kick off call and so.
I had done a big part of what he had
given us in the prep work, this
journaling exercise. And
so standard, standard Capricorn
high achiever over here was like, OK,
should I start the homework already?Sure.
OK. So before I even went on the walk, I
had a massive rage release.
What?Yeah, I know. Crazy. It's it was a
it was a it was an
experience. So this
happened on Thursday. We went on the walk
on. Saturday. So twoish
days before I was
noticing, based on the journaling work
that I did, a lot of shame that I
was holding in my life, in
myself, around my
experiences, around my progress,
around debt, around just a
lot of things. And I was like, wow, this
is interesting. I I didn't realize how
much shame there was. At a
deep level, and I've worked on my shame
before and but I do know that shame and
guilt is a very potent pattern of
self-sabotage and a pattern of the mind
that the mind uses to keep
us in these shadow elements and keep us
in these limited beliefs and these
lies of limitation and these struggle
stories and. So I was aware of
this before, but not at this level.
So I started to really name this, this
shame that was, you know, they're
lingering underneath the surface. And
as I was driving home from a B and
I meeting, I was thinking about this and
I was feeling this deep emotion of it
cause I knew I was gonna go on the walk
on Saturday and you know, me, me, me, I'm
like a bit of a keener. So I start to
like really dive into it and I'm
realizing that underneath the shame.
There was so much anger
and there was so much frustration
and there was so much intensity that when
I cracked it open, it was like a
lion roared in the
jungle and to the point where this rage
was like and I was holding onto the
steering wheel and I was yelling
and the sound that came out of me and I
was like, I need to pull over. This is
not a safe condition to drive in like it
was that intense. So I pulled over. Over.
I had my whole range released multiple
times and
after I had it, I didn't need to name
where it was coming from or why, because
that's not as important as allowing the
feeling to be felt right. This is what
I've learned from my somatic experiencing
therapist, which is allow the feeling to
be felt so that it can be completed.
Because as you may or may not know, as
someone who has high functioning anxiety,
my approach to.
Before I learned all the tools, the
default mode to handling that and what
happens with a lot of people with high
functioning anxiety is a fight response
in stress. So that that like action
taking, get after it, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go. And so because that was just an
ongoing cycle, it was
something that when I felt like I was
able to and let it out of me and
like have that battle cry if
you will. After it was
completed, which didn't take much, it
happened twice. It was really intense.
And then I just sat there and I was like
blissed out.
I know, kind of crazy to go from one
wild extreme to the other. But what
happens is when we allow the feeling to
be felt and we hold space for it and we
allow that cycle to be completed,
we allow our nervous system to come back
to a more steady state. And so
because that energy was diffused and
expressed on the other side of that,
at least for me, was a very
deep settled peace.
And it was so interesting. And I thought,
wow, this
part of my shadow, this
fear of holding
anger and allowing anger to come out,
which was a. Deeply
ingrained pattern. So my father, you
maybe have heard me speak to him before.
He was a very brilliant, wise man,
navigated his own clinical depression,
was likely autistic, was super
intelligent. He was a neuro
anesthesiologist, like the person that
puts you to sleep for brain surgery. OK,
so he was a smart guy.
But he would lose his temper and he would
get really angry sometimes and he didn't
really know how to regulate. And so he
would just yell. So as a kid, I was
really scared of anger. So I've always,
you know, deferred away from anger
because I didn't like that energy
around me and I didn't like it in other
people and I didn't like it in myself. So
I didn't really allow myself to
experience anger. So when I felt this
depth of anger that came out of me and
realizing that anger that's repressed and
suppressed and depressed. Turns into
rage, right?It continues to fester.
And so when I allowed it out of me, it
was deeply cathartic. And
I was like, wow, this is
wow. It was like a
piece that I've never felt like a piece
after a three day spa treatment and a
massage and acupuncture and like some
oils, like vibes. And I thought, wow,
this is so interesting. So that's how I
started the shadow walk. So they then,
OK, so that was Thursday. A couple days
later, I'm ready to go. I'm like very
intentional with my sleep and my morning
routine. I did my morning routine before
I left. I live in Maui. And so, you know,
it gets hot here. And so my,
I really wanted to start as early as
possible so that I could have, you know,
as much of my walk before high noon.
OK, and so I walked on this beautiful
beach. So I get to the beach and I did
the first section of it. And this leads
me to the second lesson. That
first one was to really allow yourself to
feel your emotions and and recognize
maybe some emotions are you reluctant
or fearful of and and maybe they're
holding a key for you. So second lesson
tool key that I have for you is that
intention is so key.
So I sat before I started my walk.
And I sat, and I allow myself to
really settle into my intention of
holding space for all parts of myself,
including the parts that I was reluctant
to experience, maybe fearful of, maybe
resentful of, like all of the parts, all
of the shadow elements of me, but also
all of the bright, shiny aspects as well.
So really setting the stage for that to
be welcoming and to reflect and to hold
space and to just. Really allow myself to
be guided and know that I was going to
have the walk that I needed. And so every
time I sat down to do some reflection,
journaling, have a snack, stretch,
whatever, I left one of my
flowers that I brought. So I brought 8
flowers from my yard. You know, here on
Maui, we have beautiful flowers all
around us. It's so gorgeous. I'm so
grateful. But traditionally in Hawaiian
culture, you leave offerings in in
gratitude, right?As a gesture, which is
just a beautiful practice. So I brought 8
flowers. Intuitively, I just wanted to
bring 8 also because I had a really
potent experience on 4/4 and so eight has
been really always one of my favorite
numbers. But I just thought I'm going to
bring 8 flowers. So I brought 8 flowers
and so then really began the
journey and walking a beach that I have
walked many times before as past
versions of me, right?I used to walk it
with clients. I used to take Bailey Wolf
off there. I've walked it with friends.
I've been there. For different events,
like it's been Justin and I had our fake
marriage there. It's a funny story. We
took photos because somebody told their
boss they were coming to Hawaii on
vacation, so they needed photos of a
wedding. And they were like, you guys are
in love, so we'll take photos of you.
We're not officially married, but you
know, so it's just funny. We're both
legal American citizens as well. So
anyways, side note. And
so I set off on the walk, trusting
that I'm meant to have the walk. I will
have the walk I'm meant to have. And I
made my way through and really kept just
trusting that I was being guided and
trust that when we get quiet and we
follow the inner wisdom, that that
information is always available to you.
And so that would be lesson #3, is that
there is a wisdom within you. There's an
innate wisdom within each of us, right,
as there is within every living being
that knows the path that it's meant to
take. And so really just trusting that
and learning to cultivate relationship
with your instinct, with your intuition
and be present with that. And I was also
aware of the fact that I was walking on
my own, you know, and it was a safe space
for sure. But I was aware. And so it's so
important for us to be aware of our
surroundings, right. And so and again,
Matt was really, really adamant about
that and prioritizing our safety and and
so, you know, just really being intuitive
and listening and and I always felt safe
and so. It was a really
beautiful walk. And so we're listening to
these tracks periodically. So, you know,
he kind of laid it out as listen to a
track and and do some of these journaling
questions for about an hour at a time.
Me, I was, you know, probably going to do
about a five hour experience. So I just
went at my own pace. And so one of
the tracks was really beautiful and had
some lovely guidance from Ram
Dass, who's one of my. Personal favorite
spiritual teachers who used to live
around Maui and I get to go to his house
periodically at Hanuman Maui, which
is his center and do kirtan and so
super beautiful. So he was talking about
how suffering is necessary
for evolution. Suffering is
necessary for our growth. It's necessary
for cultivating compassion with ourself
and with other people. But it's very
important to not live there.
It's very important to not live in the
suffering and not live and identify
with those struggles. But as you know,
that's one of the techniques of the mind,
of the guilt and the shame and attaching
to these stories of
limitation and struggle. And so
it was a really important piece and
that's one of the tools that I want to
share with you. Is to really maybe take a
gentle look, not a hard look because
that's what your mind wants you to do.
But look through the lens of your heart,
through the eyes of the heart and and
look at ways maybe that we we
tell these stories, that we tell them,
you know, maybe aware of the fact or
maybe unconsciously that we want to get
sympathy and that we want to relay our
struggle. And you know, there's is an
element of when we have challenges, we
want to be heard in our challenges. But
are we telling the story through the lens
of. Being a victim of the situation
or are we telling it in an empowering way
where we're realizing that it's happening
for our growth, right. It's something
that, you know, if it happens to you, it
happens for you as one of the sayings
goes. And so really taking a pause in
that and and I recognize that how long I
had identified with these struggles, with
these challenges, with what I perceived
to be these things that just weren't
happening and and you know, feeling. In
many ways, feeling like a failure and and
feeling frustration around that and
that's what led to the anger. And so it
was a really beautiful opportunity to
witness that. And so as I went along,
there is these beautiful, it just happens
naturally. I should have grabbed one for
you. I'll put a picture or something that
these little coral formations that often
look like hearts are scattered on the
beaches here in Hawaii. So periodically
when I felt like something that I was
ready to release, I would pick up, I
would find one of these coral shaped
hearts on the beach cause I, you know,
want to be impactful and leave no trace.
And so I would find one of these and I
would allow it to, I would ask it to
take what I was ready to release and
allow me to, you know, send it back into
the ocean cause it's coral, it's from the
ocean, it's. Perfectly fine to send coral
back into the ocean, right?And so I would
pick up a piece of this heart-shaped
coral and I would give it back to the
ocean in in whatever it was I was
releasing. And so that in and of itself
was so beautiful, so cathartic and I've
it's just such a lovely practice. And so
be mindful of if you do that, you know,
if you're in a forest, it's fine to, you
know, use a rock and to ask the rock if
it will take this for you and andBe
transmuted for you, right?Or, you know,
put a leaf in the river. Like, obviously
you're mindful, you're listening to this
podcast, you're going to be smart about
it. But I just feel from an environmental
impact perspective, it's important to
mention. And again, that's why I brought
flowers and not other things as
offerings. And so then
just really recognizing that we get to
look at suffering through the lens of
what it's helped you to learn, how it's
helped you to grow, what it's helped you
to shift in your life. And so. That was a
really potent lesson for me as well. And
so that leads me to the next one is that
it's so important when we are
looking back on our life,
when we are doing these moments of
reflection, that when you
look back, it's to look back
at how far you've come. So
this was very real for me because
periodically I would look back on my walk
and be like, wow, that's I've made it
pretty far, right?And so then, you know,
I caught myself taking a video of of me
walking backwards, footprints in the
sand, really beautiful. And then I was
like, well, that's interesting. How many
times have I done this?How much time and
energy have I spent on
attempting to move forward
but having my focus be in the past?
That one really hit
because I don't know about you,
especially for people that, you know,
navigate anxiety, navigate depression. We
have a tendency to go back and revisit
the past and look at past mistakes, look
at past shortcomings, look at past
struggles, et cetera, et cetera. And we
tend to go back and spend a lot of
time going over and over,
right. And thereby reinforcing the
pattern on a neural level, like in the
level of the nervous system. Because
we're rehearsing it, we're mentally
rehearsing it, right?And so that can be
used to our benefit or to our challenge.
And So what I noticed was, is that
there's so many times in my life where I
was attempting to move forward, make
progress, get towards the goal. But
internally I was like, yeah, but in the
past, this is what happened. Oh, it's
probably gonna go like this. Oh,
looking backwards, but not in
reflection, looking backwards in.
Frustration, looking backwards in
critique, looking backwards in
resentment, looking backwards in
jealousy, looking backwards in
disappointment. Do you recognize
yourself in any of that?And so it's
so important that when we look back, when
we reflect, that you look back through
the eyes of the heart, through the lens
of love. Right. Through the lens of
growth and opportunity and how you've
grown, right. We know this as maintaining
the gain, right?It's either being in the
gap or the gain. So the gap being where I
am and where I wanna be, and the gain
being the growth, the lessons, the
journey, right?Both the actual tangible
physical journey in this case and the
intelligent internal journey as well.
So really using it as a reference point
for possibility and progress. Right.
That's an important reminder for many of
us. And so taking these opportunities
periodically in your life to do these
little shadow walks, for example, or
reflections or, you know, many people do
this like on New Year's or their birthday
or, you know, quarterly or whatever it
is. So this is so important because what
we start to see is we start to see
patterns, we start to see these
lessons, these challenges that continue
to present themselves. And so
oftentimes these lessons and challenges
are what are called divine assignments,
meaning that you have been given these
challenges, IE they continue to present
because there's something for you to
learn. And the lesson that you are there
to learn because of this challenge is
necessary. Sorry, that word was
necessary, is necessary for
your soul's journey and for your growth
and for your evolution. That's why it
keeps coming back up, right?The lesson
will be presented until learned. And so
that's why these things, these patterns,
these challenges continue to come up. And
so for me, what I've
uncovered was that my
universal assignment had been
doubt, very much a,
you know, gotta see it to believe it or I
wanna see the proof or, you know, I
wanted the tangible evidence. Which is
interesting, right?And maybe that was
some kickback from, you know, growing
up Catholic that, you know, we were just
told to have faith and just told to
believe. And maybe it's like a logical
questioning thing. Who knows?Anyways, we
don't need to analyze it. It's just, it
was just there.
And So what I recognize again, that that
fits with the pattern of trying to move
forward but looking backwards, right?And
so doubting the possibility, doubting the
outcome, doubting my capability, like all
of those things, right?Which is very
common for people who navigate depression
and oftentimes anxiety as well. And
so the interesting thing that I
recognized was that, again, if I was
experiencing doubt, but trying to have
faith, trying to trust, that's a big
jump. And it's a big jump that's missing
one, well, probably more than one, but
one really big key piece, and that's
belief. And we can't have
faith in something we don't believe in.
We can't trust in something we don't
believe in. And if we're doubting
something, we we don't really have
belief, at least at a fundamental,
unshakable level. So
what I came to recognize at a deeper
level, because again, a lot of this
walk was a remembering and a reminding
and a return to this knowing. Because
these are lessons that have been
presented over and over, right?Hello. Why
it's called the divine assignment. And
I'm familiar with this, but I was like,
alright, I'm ready to look at this. We
are ready to heal this. Here we go, let's
do this. And so it
really one of the beautiful teachings of
the one of the tracks. So again, you
know, we'd have this playlist and so I
put in the playlist and right where I was
at and and the artist was talking about
how these challenges are not meant to be
escaped, they're meant to be mastered
that. They hold the key for your
transformation. And that's why shadow
work and integration work is so essential
for your evolution. Because if we don't
look at these things, then they're going
to continue to be running and
woven into the pattern of your life,
right?And in an unconscious way. And you
know, I love this quote. I've probably,
you've maybe heard me say it before.
Until we make the unconscious conscious,
it will rule your life and you will call
it destiny. Carl Jung.
So. If we have
this level of doubt and we're looking
backwards and we're ruminating on things
and we're frustrated and we're
discouraged and all of that, it that's
what's permeating and running underneath
the surface and affecting how you show
up, what you think about what you do,
your results that you're getting, right.
And so it will rule your life and you
will call it destiny. And So what I
recognized was that, OK,
this is important, right, when we want to
look at these things that are continuing
to present. But we get to look at them as
opportunities for growth, right?And
not something to be escaped, but
something to be mastered. Looking at it
as a divine assignment, a teaching, an
opportunity, a lesson from the universe
to really look at yourself and
ultimately. And this is the next lesson.
Ultimately, learn to give
yourself what you need. I
E if you were speaking
to a young child or a younger version of
yourself who was experiencing the same
thing, what would they need to hear?
And this is where we shifted gears into
this inner child work and
recognizing that you know, and of course
there's the inner child, the younger you
in formative years. But there's the
younger you, you know, five years ago,
three months ago, that younger version of
you, what did they need to hear in that
moment?And maybe it was
acceptance, maybe it was
support, maybe it was trust, maybe it was
love, maybe it was praise. Maybe it
was just the the knowing that, you know,
this is part of the path and and it's
part of the journey. Like what was it
that you really needed to hear in that
moment?And we got
to learn that ultimately
was what I got to learn. We being me and
all my past and future selves
and the people that walked on it
separately around the world. We we were
told here we go. That's why I was
polarizing it. Matt told us that
really it's so important and and you know
this that it's that's really it's up to
you to give yourself what you need.
When it comes to a witnessing, when it
comes to celebration, when it comes to
acknowledgement, when it comes to love,
when it comes to belief, because it's
nice to get that from an external source,
but ultimately we're looking for that
from ourselves 1st, and that's the source
as your outer life is a reflection of
your inner life. And so
learning to give yourself what you need
in those moments is so, so important and
cathartic and healing and.
What we get to do is
practice forgiveness with
those past versions of ourself
that we get to forgive
for what they did, how they did it. We
get to make peace with that past
so that you can, you
know, forgive the version of you that
was nasty and critical and
withheld the love because. You did
something in a way that you didn't like
or you regret or whatever. So you get to
forgive that version of you.
And then also you get to ask
for forgiveness for the version of you
that you did that to, right?And so
that younger version of you that you
withheld the love for after whatever
after the launch flopped. OK, so we'll
use one of my examples. Why not after the
launch flopped?I EI didn't get to the
results that I wanted because I had crazy
high standards, unachievable goal that I
set for myself and and then when it
didn't get reached, all
I had was disappointment and frustration.
So I was very much in the gap. All I had
was disappointment and frustration. And
then I was nasty and critical to myself
in the moment when what I really needed
was to acknowledge what I did and how I
showed up and to look at the lessons and
the growth and the opportunities and all
of that to be in the game, right. And so
I. In the practice that he had us do, we
get to forgive the version of ourself
that withheld the love and that was nasty
and critical. Forgive them for not
knowing better, forgive them for doing
what they did, and then ask for peace
from the version of you that sat there in
the corner and received all of that
stuff. So hopefully I didn't lose you.
Hopefully this makes sense. It's past
versions of you that you get to reconcile
with, essentially inner parenting, it's
often called, and inner child work and
just looking at these patterns through
the lens of love. Right through the lens
of love because these these
patterns are self protective and it's the
brain's way of keeping things familiar,
safe and predictable and not
having you stretch yourself and stay in
where you are, right or where you were.
And so that we wanna learn to give
ourselves what we need in these moments
and to really acknowledge how we're
showing up both in the outer
world but also. For yourself,
ultimately, first and foremost, that's
what this all of this is, is a journey
in life. Ultimately, we have ourselves,
right?We have many other things. You're
so blessed for sure. But first and
foremost, the most important relationship
you have is with
yourself, your past self, your current
self, your future self, right?The
trifecta. So it was such
a beautiful journey. And so then again,
we got to continue to have these
reminders. And so one of the tracks was.
A reminder from Ram Dass that we are
loving awareness. And so Ram Dass, if
you're not familiar, was an incredible
spiritual teacher who was highly
influenced by the teachings of
Maharaji, of of love, of
compassion, of presence, of
purpose and and living from this place of
curiosity and truth and
Dharma and and so a very profound
teacher. Very, very bright, beautiful
soul who I had the blessing of meeting a
few times as he did live on here, here on
Maui when he lived on this plane. So
yes, the track was about we are
loving awareness and teaching us to love
everything we're aware of, to love
everything we're aware of. And then
ultimately we have a choice whether we're
going to lead from love or fear, whether
we're going to learn from love or fear.
Whether we're going to come from the mind
or the heart. And so it was just such a
beautiful experience from that
perspective. And and as I was having
that, you know, Ram Dass is from
Massachusetts, so he had quite a strong,
you know, Boston-ish accent. And then a
friend of ours who has passed away
recently who was from Boston literally
just appeared in spirit form to
me and and said, you know, I'm so
proud of you. And it was just so many
beautiful things, so many beautiful
things. And so having this visit from
Glen, my friend that passed recently, was
just so magical. And and you know,
we, I told him we all missed him so much.
And he said, yeah, don't be sad. This
whole other side thing is a whole other
world and there's nothing to be afraid
of. And so that was really magical to
hear that from him. And so then
continued my walk. Was holding on to
another piece of the heart coral that I
had been holding the whole time in
addition to a stone that I brought to
anchor myself. So I had this coral and so
he wanted, Matt wanted us to have a
closing ritual right to bring it to an
end which is important on a journey like
this. So you know this is probably at
about like the four hour mark. So I had
given my flowers along the way and had
this beautiful moment and. So many
beautiful moments. And so then, you know,
I wanted to leave my coral somewhere
special. And so then I thought I was
going to leave it on this really cool
tree. And so I put it on the tree and
then I walk a little further and I
go. And on my path was a collection of,
I think, I don't know, I could look at
the photo. Oh, I made a reel. If you want
to see this journey in photos, I'll put
the reel in the comments. It's really
magical. You're going to like it. So I
came around the corner and I found this
little gathering of, I don't know,
probably 10, maybe more
heart-shaped pieces of coral,
not far away from where I was going to
leave my coral on the tree. And I was
like, oh, OK, I get it. You want to be
with your friends. And so I brought my
coral and I put it with this, you
know, little group of of heart-shaped
coral that was resting on the sand. And
it was just such a beautiful reminder
that love is there for us. Love is always
there. And we get to reconnect to it and
look for it, right?We look for what we
we what we see, we find, right?
We we look for what we want. That's where
we want to choose our focus. But the mind
will have us look for problems and faults
and fears and flaws and identify with
them if we're not mindful, right.
And so, you know, that's the irony of
mindfulness is that. We're meant to
empty our mind and be present when we're
being mindful. It's more mind empty,
but it's not as catchy. Anyway, so
looking for this beautiful presence of
love that's always there and realizing
that as we're walking on these paths
separately as a group, that ultimately,
as Ram Dass says, we're all just walking
each other home, and we're all just
walking ourselves home to who you
truly are each day. Right.
And and really the work is to
remember that you have the opportunity
to decide who you
are and how you show up. And
that's what Anahata, the Anahata chakra,
the heart chakra is. It means before the
story, before the sound. And that's what
the heart teaches us, is that these core
elements of who you truly are are always
available to you before the story, before
the sound, before the noise of the world.
And it's a return to the heart. It's a
return to love. It's a return to self,
and it's walking ourselves home.
And that's just
really who I I could even cry
about it now.
And it's a really important reminder
that you're in charge of updating the
operating system.
Sometimes life gives us moments where it
just resets automatically.
But you can intentionally update
how you see yourself and how you show up
in the world and not allow yourself to
identify with the past or identify with
suffering or overly fixate on your faults
and flaws and, you know, failures
and fears and that, which I admittedly
did for a very long time, right?And
and still was doing to some degree
clearly because it was very real for me
when I had this experience and so.
That reminder that we, at your deepest
core, are loving awareness. When you can
become aware of the fact
that you are love, you are energy, you
are frequency, whatever it is, right?
That's really how you make that
shift. And you come from that place of
intentionality, you come from that
alignment, you come from that
groundedness, you come from connected
awareness, you come from purpose, you
come from intention, you're living from
the vision, all of it, however you want
to say it. Right. That's really what it
means to embody
this shift. Because when you go on a
journey like this, and whether you do
journeys like this, whether you
psychedelics, like whatever it is, when
you go on a journey, it's important for
you to have these experiences, to have
these insights. But what's even
more important is the
integration and the
embodiment going forward. And
that's. Where the magic lies,
because information without application
is useless. To know and not know, to know
and not do is to not know, right?There's
so many reminders from these beautiful
teachers. The Buddha is that
it's all about what you do with it
and how you weave it into your life.
And that was
just, yeah,
choosing to shift how we see ourselves
through. The eyes of love, right?And and
really deciding who you want to be
and how you want to show up, and really
remembering that you are guided on your
path, whether you believe that to be the
universe, source, nature, whatever,
whoever, that it's always there,
that love is always there, and it's a
matter of coming back to that decision
and that intentionality. And really
being willing to witness yourself in the
growth, being willing to witness yourself
in all that you've been and all that you
are and all that you're becoming. And
that's really the
magic of that journey. And so,
yeah, to say it was powerful is an
understatement. And
it was so beautiful to really feel all
these past versions of me that were
walking. You know, that had walked that
path and it was almost like we were all
walking that path together or that we
would, you know, all that I've been has
helped me to get to this point. And and
now all of these past versions of me are
are giving the momentum to move forward,
right. And it's that through that
momentum to move forward and through this
intentionality of anchoring in the heart
and and expanding from there and
reclaiming my magic and and really
realigning to my vision and who I truly
am and how I want to show up and and
recognizing that who I. Really am is
loving awareness and all these identities
and labels that we put on ourselves.
They're nice, but oftentimes
inadequate, you know, and that
like sitting in that. And because before
I really anchored into that, that I am
loving awareness, you know, my brain was
like, OK, well, what are you now, right?
You know, if you're not this anymore, if
you're not, you know, quote, UN quote,
just a personal trainer or just a
best-selling author or whatever. You
know, and recognizing that what I had
been saying to myself of being a
visionary thought leader with a global
movement, that was nice. Yeah, it was it
was good. Still like super badass and
really incredible. I'm not. I'm not by
any means, you know, paw-pawing,
poo-pooing, foo-foofing. I don't know
what what do you what do you
anyways,
what it led me to.
When it led me to, what the walk told me
and what my what my heart told me, what
my vision told me
was that I'm a visionary
leading a global movement
of loving self-awareness and compassion.
And if I didn't just get the goosebumps.
And that was like, OK, yes, yes, there we
go. There we go. That's it for now.
That's it. Because you know, I can
teach you how to power pause and overcome
anxiety and reduce your stress and you
know, do that stuff. But ultimately, as
you know, if you've listened and and here
you go, if you haven't listened to other
episodes before, two of the main tools we
use inside the power pause movement and
power pausers, you know this is
loving, non-judgmental,
self-awareness and compassionate
curiosity. Those are our two main tools.
Power pauses, yes, they help you
cultivate calm on command and regulate
your nervous system 1000%. But ultimately
what I'm teaching you to do
and what the movement, the power pause
movement is all about, is cultivating
loving self-awareness and
compassion. All that other stuff is
beautiful and powerful and I'm here for
it and you know it's great, but that's
what it's really about. That's
what this all this whole life thing is
really about, is treating yourself with
the awareness and the love and the
compassion that you deserve.
Yeah, again, I
might cry or laugh.
OK, last part, because this part was
really cool. Not that the rest of it
wasn't cool. Was it cool?I'd love to
know. Again, watch the reel if you want
to see this whole 5 hour journey in in
about a minute.
Yes. So
then I had the realization
I was just walking myself home. You know,
again, very Ram Dass influenced. He's
magical. So I I
close it off, you know, I did this five
hour walk and then by this point it's
like 12. I'm like, I'm really hot. I was
really trying to be mindful of of my skin
safety and not get burned. And you know,
anyways, then I get back to the beach
that I had launched from and it's the
whole Saturday vibe. Everybody I know and
you're all like Pilgrim from the sand
dunes walking out.
I don't know. Oh, I saw a turtle. OK, I
miss this part. Anyways, wrapping up
shortly. So we're getting close. I'm
getting close near the end of the walk.
And on the beach is this massive turtle,
which is not uncommon in Hawaii. But
the turtle, they're they're an endangered
species, so they're respected and they're
very highly revered as as a source of
wisdom and guidance and and represent
wisdom and resilience
and patience and love.
Like, I couldn't have, I couldn't have
picked a better sign, right?And I love me
some turtles. And so this turtle was on
the beach and I'm like, Oh my God, this
is amazing. Turtles are so beautiful. And
then I had one more not near the turtle
because we respect their personal space
and they are endangered. So keep in mind,
if you ever see a Hawaiian honu, which is
a turtle, you know, take a picture, but
from a safe distance. And when you see
his photo in the real I I use the zoom
feature cause I'm very respectful.
So then I did one more dip in the ocean
and just the rest of the layers. And then
I get back to the beach and it's the
whole like Saturday family vibe. And I'm
like wow this is a trip. I just went on a
journey of a lifetime and a soul and
and so I just made my way through.
But then I knew the next day. That it
would be very important for me as part of
the journey to go to Kirtan. So go to
Hanuman Maui, which is Ram Dass's
center and Kirtan is a Sanskrit word
for song and so it's sacred chance.
So I get to the
Kirtan and we were inside cause it was
raining. Usually it's outside and
where the seat was on the
ground behind Ram
Dass's. Wheelchair that he had used near
the end of his life. So they they put him
in the circle like he's there cause he's
there, he's just he's he's there 1000%.
It was his home. He could feel his
energy, the teachings, everything. So I
got to sit behind Ram Dass's wheelchair
and that was really special. Like you
know for somebody that you love and you
respect to like sit near where they got
to spend a lot of time. It was like like
I was sitting right behind
him and so. Yeah, so I was like,
oh wow, this is lovely. And so then one
of the hosts of the
event and one of the leaders of the
community was giving a little talk before
we started. And I kid you not, like
2 minutes into her talk, she she was
talking about the importance of respect
and kindness and community. And she
said, because you know, after all, as
Ram Dass told us. We're all just
walking each other home.
And I was like, oh wow, OK,
was totally supposed to be here today.
And and then again, it was all of these
more traditional songs. But this one man
sang a song that he had like clearly
created for celebration of Easter. And
there was lyrics from one of the tracks
from the walk playlist. And I was like,
see, you cannot never doubt yourself
again, Megan. This whole thing is
divinely orchestrated. You may not see.
The plan. You don't know the timeline,
but you get to trust.
You get to trust in your magic. You get
to trust that it's all happening for you,
that it's all planned and never doubt
that again. And I was like, OK,
thank you. Thank you, Magic. Thank you,
Matt. Thank you Shadow Walk community.
Thank you me. Thank you Pass me. Thank
you little me. Thank you all of my kumus,
all my teachers, all the songs, all the
flowers. Thank you ocean. Thank you sand.
Thank you sky. Thank you life. Thank you
mom. Thank you dad. You know, I was like,
OK, wow, this was that was a quite a
soul expanding experience.
Yeah. So that was my weekend. I hope you
had a really great Easter. That was that
was it. So I would love to know
which one of these lessons and tools
really landed for you. Did any of them
just drop into your heart and were what
you needed to hear right now?Please reply
to the e-mail. Please send me a DM.
Please tag me on the socials. I really
like makes my heart so happy when you
tell me, when you give me the feedback,
cause literally, you know, to know that
these tools are landing in your heart,
that's where they're meant to land.
That's what this is for. And so I just.
Would love to hear back from you. And
again, make sure to check out the reel.
I'll tag it. It was a really fun little
experience for me to make that. But
obviously the whole experience was very
potent. So yeah.
And I will also tag Matt because I know
he's gonna be doing it again because now
everyone that I've told this to and
hopefully you now are like, can I go on
the walk next time?Yes. 1000% you can
go on the walk next time, OK by yourself
in a safe space and you know prepared and
all the things. And if you have any
questions about this, reach out to me and
I really just wanted to send you so much
love and so much gratitude and and thank
you adding that to the list. Thank you
for being here and allowing me to share
these tools with you. And I hope that at
some level your heart heard it, at some
level it helped you to recognize.
Something that you could do for you,
right?And it doesn't have to be a a five
mile walk in the hot, hot Hawaiian sun.
It can be whatever you want just to give
yourself some love in some sort of way.
That's really what this is. Because as
you remember now and as you know now,
you are loving awareness and you
get to decide how you treat yourself, how
you move forward, how you walk through
life and how you live. So thank you for
being here. All the loves, all the loves.
Take good care. And yeah, tag me on the
socials or send me a DM and let me know
what landed in your heart because it
would literally mean the world to me.
Talk to you soon. Bye.
