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Hi, I'm Emily with matters.com, and I'm joined by Dušan Veličković.
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Welcome, Dušan.
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Hello.
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Hello, Emily.
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Nice to see you and nice to meet you here.
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Well, thanks for joining matters.com.
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Dušan is a singer, songwriter, and guitarist whose new song,"The Diary," explores how relationships and blame often start long before the breaking point, turning a found diary into a narrative about memory, regret, and responsibility.
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Dušan, we're gonna jump right in.
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What matters most to you right now?
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And tell me the story behind it
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First of all, thank you very much Emily, for inviting me, and what matters to me is that after the relationship ends, and after the people go through some breakup, which is one of the, toughest periods probably in the human's life you after some time passes, you c- you could realize the reality of what was going on and what was happening actually in the background of this of the whole history, of the whole relationship.
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Not only I'm not talking only about the relationship and then the love things, and in many cases, in, in many examples in life, when you are doing everything correctly, and there's something ended in this case it's a relationship y- by the t- with the time you start understa- understanding that maybe was not everything your fault as you as you've been told to, you know what I mean?
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And the diary in this case, In my personal situation, I actually had the diary is happening that I found out, find out, found out actually that there was something behind the, from the other side, which was not preparing for this thing, so it's like the diary is a very personal and intimate thing, right?
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Until it's not.
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And when you realize this or from and especially if you get it from the third side, so from the other side, like from some people which you didn't expect to, to to, to hear this from, then you, you probably start understanding, okay, if this was happening then why everything ended, just right now?
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Yeah, so to back up a little bit, the nexus for this song,"The Diary," was that you found the diary of your then wife.
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Yeah.
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I, I would imagine there were a whole lot of emotions with that at the time, and they've evolved probably to this point.
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Did the diary change your memories of what the relationship was like or how it was going?
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So there was one account that you found in this diary and one account that you must have been living.
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How did you manage sort of sifting back through those memories to, to create this song?
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Well, this is really a tough question, but I, I will definitely answer it.
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I found out about this diary from the other person, so not directly, not that I found it physically at the first place, but I found it from the other person.
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Then I found the diary and to be honest with you it, it did not change my emotions because, it's some-- it, it was a different scenario.
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The scenario was that, that the diary was written until some point, then the years after that, the diary stopped for some reason.
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But then when everything ended, I realized that actually those stuffs on the diary, which were en- which ended ti- around five years ago or something just appeared again.
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And then when you know, w-when you're alone with yourself and when you start thinking about,"Okay, it's my fault.
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Okay, I was wrong.
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Okay, maybe I did something, n-not good," let's call it like that, and then you, like connect.
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It's like math, two plus two is four, and then you realize maybe it's very important to say that a lot of pe- the point-- the thing with this diary the, the simple explanation with it is like how much the people can live together and go along together for years, even decades, but living a different story.
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And this you find in the notes or how, how it's called diary, and yeah, this would be-- I, I, I think that this, this would be the real answer which you are looking which you are looking for.
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So through this emotional process that you've explained to us, you used art to work through all of this.
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In the song"The Diary," for those of us who haven't heard it yet, do you have a line or two that stick out to you that really encompass a moment, a memory, or the, the theme of the feeling of the song?
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First, thank you for this question because this is now very important topic.
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Yes, absolutely.
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I mentioned we have a kid together, and I have a wonderful kid twenty-one months old, and now w-when something like this happen to you, when you end one, o-one period, huge period of your life, you're be-becoming the psychologist, the neurologist.
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You are becoming everything, now with this AI tools and with this Google advanced things, I'm just, saying you are everything.
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You can be a lawyer, you can be a, a-a-a-as I mentioned, and I found out a very interesting thing, like, whenever I read something about, why the relationship ends, why the marriage ends, everyone...
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L-like, every second comment or maybe even e-e-even more than that, people are like,"Hey, better, better to be, better happy divorce than the bad marriages," or something, but this is some kind of modern way, i'm a bit more, let's say I'm a bit more traditional guy.
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Where I'm coming from, from the south of Europe, from the, from, from the Balkans, the people think more in, in some some kind of traditional way, like everything could be solved within the time, I also read some I, I literally found this in a book, like earlier, that in Romania when the, Long ago, like for example fifty years ago, when the people w-who was, were about to get divorced, they were locking them into the let's say, like family jail for a, for a, I don't know, ninety days or something, and the people could solve this together, and only one percent of th-those people separated even after this, so my, my my honest opinion on this is that everything should be solvable.
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And the answer to your question directly is yes, the kid is there, and there are a few words where I mention the kid, actually, where I say that kids don't think that they are wrong.
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And i-in the middle of the song, I'm also actually mentioning there is a sentence,"How you split the lives in sentence, how you split the child in two." Because people do not understand, a lot of people think, I'm going to get the child, the child is going to be fine with me and this and this.
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But no, actually, you have to share it.
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It's basically something which will be always here and there with you.
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You're a parent, you want it or not, but you are a parent, and you need to share it.
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If you're together, you don't share it, you're actually throwing it to each other like a ball.
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Hey, now it's your turn to keep it, and now it's my turn.
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Oh, I was there.
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And now it's, the other way around.
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And this is something where if someone going to listen to this should really pay attention on this words what I am writing about the child.
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Because the child is the thing which matters the most.
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Like even you, of course, you matter, your wife matters, she matters to her.
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But someone who doesn't know how to care about themselves now should be matter to you the most.
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You know what I mean?
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Wow.
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Yeah, so powerful that the, the, the idea that the child is split in two.
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Really powerful and probably so relatable to so many people who go through this in their relationships.
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And you did bring up the word matter so many times in that, and clearly we hear the kids matter, and that's definitely something at the top of your list.
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And for me and for I assume most of the people who think the similar way which I do or the let's call it normal way of behaving, the child should matter the most, because it's like it's like small you but one day better.
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And that's it.
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I love that small you but one day better.
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I'm a mom of five, so I feel that very deeply.
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Well, now to the matters speed round.
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I'm gonna name a topic, Dushan, and you're gonna tell me matters, not matters, or skip.
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Now, a little note here.
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During the months of May and June, we have what's called our Mystery Matters topic.
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This is a challenge where one of these topics in here, I'm not gonna tell you which one, is gonna be put into a challenge.
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All the answers are gonna be looked at, and one of our guests is gonna win a prize.
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But we'll have more on that to come.
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Don't let it influence your answers.
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Like you said, you know your story best.
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You know what matters to you.
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So we're gonna go to our matters speed
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I like prizes.
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I'm looking forward to it, yeah.
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All right.
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Dushan, I'm gonna name a topic, and you're gonna tell me matters, not matters, or skip.
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Are you ready?
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Yes, I am.
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Okay.
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AI, artificial intelligence in music.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Not matters.
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Why does it matter?
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Because it's it's it, it's making you creative in a way which you wouldn't like to be.
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It can help you.
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For example there, there are some platforms now where you now where you can upload, some of your ideas and then they make music for you, but it's just probably getting-- making you lazy.
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Yeah, let, let's say it's like that.
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It's making you lazy.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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I second that one.
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How about this one?
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Rice cakes.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Rice cakes.
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Rice cakes, you know the little snack.
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They're like
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yeah.
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Oh, skip.
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Skip, skip.
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rice.
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Skip.
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How about this one?
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Divorce.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Oh, yeah.
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Yes, matters a lot.
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And why does it matter a lot?
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Because it can change your life drastically.
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Trust me on this one.
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And like you said, a ch- if you have a child, the child's life too, right?
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Exactly.
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No-- And your siblings as well.
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Like everyone's around you sometimes.
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So yeah, definitely matters
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Okay, next one.
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Coffee.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Oh, I, I am from the Balkans, close to the Turkey, so coffee matters a lot.
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Do you have a favorite way you like to drink your coffee?
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You mean my favorite coffee?
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Yes in the old traditional Turkish way.
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It's a bit different than, the Western coffees like, because you need to like you j- you don't just put the boiled water into the coffee and you have it.
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You need to, prepare it in a f- it's a bit complicated, but you can, you can find it.
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Okay, we'll look that one up'cause now I'm interested.
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I do the old-fashioned American way, and this already has me interested in a better way
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you will like this one.
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It's very strong, but you will like it, I'm sure.
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I need strong.
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I need strong.
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Okay, great.
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Next topic.
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Chocolate.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Oh, yes.
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To me, the chocolate matters a lot, and because when I was studying it actually could boost my my concentration when I was learning when I was younger.
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Or it was an, a good excuse for my mother to give me some sweets.
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I don't know the exact answer for this one, but one of these is definitely.
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I think chocolate matters too, and I love that connection to remembering it from childhood and the experience of learning.
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So I'm on board with that one.
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Okay, how about this one?
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I feel like people have been talking a lot about this, especially here in the US, the FIFA World Cup.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Oh.
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Personally, no.
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To me, not that much.
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But I guess the answer...
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Nah, I'll, I'll go skip for this one.
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I'll go skip for this one.
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Because it's yeah, I think it's subjective thing, yeah.
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Okay, and how about this one?
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This will be the last one.
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Lyrics and songwriting.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Oh, yeah.
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It does matter a lot.
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And why does it matter so much to you?
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It matters so much for me because you can express anything which is on your soul and to be heard by not raising your voice.
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Only when you are singing some higher notes, so obviously.
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But other than that, you can express everything w- what is in your heart, on, on your soul.
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You can throw these rocks away from you and just by singing those ly- lyrics, but only if you wrote them, not an AI.
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Okay, let's bring that back to the AI.
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Now, Dušan, before we leave you today, people do wanna hear you.
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We've talked about your new song.
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Where can they find you?
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Oh, they can find me on any streaming pl- platforms on the social media, but basically all the streaming platforms across the globe, like US Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia.
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Australia is on a completely different side of the world, but internet reaches there as well.
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So yeah, definitely on all the- all, all the streaming media.
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Yeah.
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Wonderful.
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We will look for your song"The Diary," your new song.
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Thank you so much for sharing your insights today about your songwriting process, about some of what matters to you.
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Dušan, it's been a pleasure.
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Thank you for joining matters.com.
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Same here, Emily.
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Thank you very much for inviting me for this call, and I will be alw- always happy to have a chat with you because it's, it's really a pleasure.
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Pleasure's all mine, and again, I'm Emily with matters.com.
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All right, Dušan.
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Awesome.
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Thanks for such a great conversation.
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Hi, I'm Emily with matters.com, and I'm joined by Dušan Veličković.
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Welcome, Dušan.
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Hello.
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Hello, Emily.
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Nice to see you and nice to meet you here.
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Well, thanks for joining matters.com.
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Dušan is a singer, songwriter, and guitarist whose new song,"The Diary," explores how relationships and blame often start long before the breaking point, turning a found diary into a narrative about memory, regret, and responsibility.
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Dušan, we're gonna jump right in.
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What matters most to you right now?
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And tell me the story behind it
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First of all, thank you very much Emily, for inviting me, and what matters to me is that after the relationship ends, and after the people go through some breakup, which is one of the, toughest periods probably in the human's life you after some time passes, you c- you could realize the reality of what was going on and what was happening actually in the background of this of the whole history, of the whole relationship.
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Not only I'm not talking only about the relationship and then the love things, and in many cases, in, in many examples in life, when you are doing everything correctly, and there's something ended in this case it's a relationship y- by the t- with the time you start understa- understanding that maybe was not everything your fault as you as you've been told to, you know what I mean?
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And the diary in this case, In my personal situation, I actually had the diary is happening that I found out, find out, found out actually that there was something behind the, from the other side, which was not preparing for this thing, so it's like the diary is a very personal and intimate thing, right?
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Until it's not.
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And when you realize this or from and especially if you get it from the third side, so from the other side, like from some people which you didn't expect to, to to, to hear this from, then you, you probably start understanding, okay, if this was happening then why everything ended, just right now?
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Yeah, so to back up a little bit, the nexus for this song,"The Diary," was that you found the diary of your then wife.
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Yeah.
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I, I would imagine there were a whole lot of emotions with that at the time, and they've evolved probably to this point.
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Did the diary change your memories of what the relationship was like or how it was going?
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So there was one account that you found in this diary and one account that you must have been living.
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How did you manage sort of sifting back through those memories to, to create this song?
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Well, this is really a tough question, but I, I will definitely answer it.
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I found out about this diary from the other person, so not directly, not that I found it physically at the first place, but I found it from the other person.
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Then I found the diary and to be honest with you it, it did not change my emotions because, it's some-- it, it was a different scenario.
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The scenario was that, that the diary was written until some point, then the years after that, the diary stopped for some reason.
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But then when everything ended, I realized that actually those stuffs on the diary, which were en- which ended ti- around five years ago or something just appeared again.
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And then when you know, w-when you're alone with yourself and when you start thinking about,"Okay, it's my fault.
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Okay, I was wrong.
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Okay, maybe I did something, n-not good," let's call it like that, and then you, like connect.
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It's like math, two plus two is four, and then you realize maybe it's very important to say that a lot of pe- the point-- the thing with this diary the, the simple explanation with it is like how much the people can live together and go along together for years, even decades, but living a different story.
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And this you find in the notes or how, how it's called diary, and yeah, this would be-- I, I, I think that this, this would be the real answer which you are looking which you are looking for.
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So through this emotional process that you've explained to us, you used art to work through all of this.
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In the song"The Diary," for those of us who haven't heard it yet, do you have a line or two that stick out to you that really encompass a moment, a memory, or the, the theme of the feeling of the song?
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First, thank you for this question because this is now very important topic.
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Yes, absolutely.
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I mentioned we have a kid together, and I have a wonderful kid twenty-one months old, and now w-when something like this happen to you, when you end one, o-one period, huge period of your life, you're be-becoming the psychologist, the neurologist.
00:05:03.115 --> 00:05:10.105
You are becoming everything, now with this AI tools and with this Google advanced things, I'm just, saying you are everything.
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You can be a lawyer, you can be a, a-a-a-as I mentioned, and I found out a very interesting thing, like, whenever I read something about, why the relationship ends, why the marriage ends, everyone...
00:05:21.125 --> 00:05:37.355
L-like, every second comment or maybe even e-e-even more than that, people are like,"Hey, better, better to be, better happy divorce than the bad marriages," or something, but this is some kind of modern way, i'm a bit more, let's say I'm a bit more traditional guy.
00:05:37.564 --> 00:06:13.615
Where I'm coming from, from the south of Europe, from the, from, from the Balkans, the people think more in, in some some kind of traditional way, like everything could be solved within the time, I also read some I, I literally found this in a book, like earlier, that in Romania when the, Long ago, like for example fifty years ago, when the people w-who was, were about to get divorced, they were locking them into the let's say, like family jail for a, for a, I don't know, ninety days or something, and the people could solve this together, and only one percent of th-those people separated even after this, so my, my my honest opinion on this is that everything should be solvable.
00:06:13.935 --> 00:06:23.875
And the answer to your question directly is yes, the kid is there, and there are a few words where I mention the kid, actually, where I say that kids don't think that they are wrong.
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And i-in the middle of the song, I'm also actually mentioning there is a sentence,"How you split the lives in sentence, how you split the child in two." Because people do not understand, a lot of people think, I'm going to get the child, the child is going to be fine with me and this and this.
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But no, actually, you have to share it.
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It's basically something which will be always here and there with you.
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You're a parent, you want it or not, but you are a parent, and you need to share it.
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If you're together, you don't share it, you're actually throwing it to each other like a ball.
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Hey, now it's your turn to keep it, and now it's my turn.
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Oh, I was there.
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And now it's, the other way around.
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And this is something where if someone going to listen to this should really pay attention on this words what I am writing about the child.
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Because the child is the thing which matters the most.
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Like even you, of course, you matter, your wife matters, she matters to her.
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But someone who doesn't know how to care about themselves now should be matter to you the most.
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You know what I mean?
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Wow.
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Yeah, so powerful that the, the, the idea that the child is split in two.
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Really powerful and probably so relatable to so many people who go through this in their relationships.
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And you did bring up the word matter so many times in that, and clearly we hear the kids matter, and that's definitely something at the top of your list.
00:07:56.894 --> 00:08:13.514
And for me and for I assume most of the people who think the similar way which I do or the let's call it normal way of behaving, the child should matter the most, because it's like it's like small you but one day better.
00:08:13.923 --> 00:08:14.533
And that's it.
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I love that small you but one day better.
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I'm a mom of five, so I feel that very deeply.
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Well, now to the matters speed round.
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I'm gonna name a topic, Dushan, and you're gonna tell me matters, not matters, or skip.
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Now, a little note here.
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During the months of May and June, we have what's called our Mystery Matters topic.
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This is a challenge where one of these topics in here, I'm not gonna tell you which one, is gonna be put into a challenge.
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All the answers are gonna be looked at, and one of our guests is gonna win a prize.
00:08:51.508 --> 00:08:53.278
But we'll have more on that to come.
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Don't let it influence your answers.
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Like you said, you know your story best.
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You know what matters to you.
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So we're gonna go to our matters speed
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I like prizes.
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I'm looking forward to it, yeah.
00:09:03.888 --> 00:09:04.347
All right.
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Dushan, I'm gonna name a topic, and you're gonna tell me matters, not matters, or skip.
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Are you ready?
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Yes, I am.
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Okay.
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AI, artificial intelligence in music.
00:09:18.977 --> 00:09:20.488
Matters, not matters, or skip?
00:09:21.158 --> 00:09:22.229
Not matters.
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Why does it matter?
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Because it's it's it, it's making you creative in a way which you wouldn't like to be.
00:09:32.519 --> 00:09:33.349
It can help you.
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For example there, there are some platforms now where you now where you can upload, some of your ideas and then they make music for you, but it's just probably getting-- making you lazy.
00:09:42.389 --> 00:09:43.739
Yeah, let, let's say it's like that.
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It's making you lazy.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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I second that one.
00:09:48.577 --> 00:09:49.677
How about this one?
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Rice cakes.
00:09:51.727 --> 00:09:53.668
Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Rice cakes.
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Rice cakes, you know the little snack.
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They're like
00:10:00.308 --> 00:10:00.769
yeah.
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Oh, skip.
00:10:01.649 --> 00:10:03.158
Skip, skip.
00:10:03.298 --> 00:10:03.817
rice.
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Skip.
00:10:04.148 --> 00:10:06.607
How about this one?
00:10:07.288 --> 00:10:08.197
Divorce.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
00:10:11.078 --> 00:10:12.229
Oh, yeah.
00:10:14.259 --> 00:10:15.528
Yes, matters a lot.
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And why does it matter a lot?
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Because it can change your life drastically.
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Trust me on this one.
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And like you said, a ch- if you have a child, the child's life too, right?
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Exactly.
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No-- And your siblings as well.
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Like everyone's around you sometimes.
00:10:36.788 --> 00:10:38.458
So yeah, definitely matters
00:10:40.518 --> 00:10:41.878
Okay, next one.
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Coffee.
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Matters, not matters, or skip?
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Oh, I, I am from the Balkans, close to the Turkey, so coffee matters a lot.
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Do you have a favorite way you like to drink your coffee?
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You mean my favorite coffee?
00:10:58.744 --> 00:11:01.224
Yes in the old traditional Turkish way.
00:11:01.484 --> 00:11:09.313
It's a bit different than, the Western coffees like, because you need to like you j- you don't just put the boiled water into the coffee and you have it.
00:11:09.313 --> 00:11:13.484
You need to, prepare it in a f- it's a bit complicated, but you can, you can find it.
00:11:14.988 --> 00:11:17.528
Okay, we'll look that one up'cause now I'm interested.
00:11:17.528 --> 00:11:22.548
I do the old-fashioned American way, and this already has me interested in a better way
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you will like this one.
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It's very strong, but you will like it, I'm sure.
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I need strong.
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I need strong.
00:11:28.298 --> 00:11:28.998
Okay, great.
00:11:29.508 --> 00:11:30.607
Next topic.
00:11:30.937 --> 00:11:31.707
Chocolate.
00:11:31.707 --> 00:11:33.628
Matters, not matters, or skip?
00:11:34.514 --> 00:11:36.043
Oh, yes.
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To me, the chocolate matters a lot, and because when I was studying it actually could boost my my concentration when I was learning when I was younger.
00:11:46.024 --> 00:11:49.774
Or it was an, a good excuse for my mother to give me some sweets.
00:11:49.974 --> 00:11:54.183
I don't know the exact answer for this one, but one of these is definitely.
00:11:56.413 --> 00:12:02.263
I think chocolate matters too, and I love that connection to remembering it from childhood and the experience of learning.
00:12:02.263 --> 00:12:04.452
So I'm on board with that one.
00:12:04.832 --> 00:12:06.293
Okay, how about this one?
00:12:06.293 --> 00:12:11.942
I feel like people have been talking a lot about this, especially here in the US, the FIFA World Cup.
00:12:12.123 --> 00:12:13.592
Matters, not matters, or skip?
00:12:15.703 --> 00:12:16.524
Oh.
00:12:17.504 --> 00:12:18.653
Personally, no.
00:12:18.943 --> 00:12:20.624
To me, not that much.
00:12:20.624 --> 00:12:22.533
But I guess the answer...
00:12:22.644 --> 00:12:24.474
Nah, I'll, I'll go skip for this one.
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I'll go skip for this one.
00:12:26.014 --> 00:12:28.083
Because it's yeah, I think it's subjective thing, yeah.
00:12:29.543 --> 00:12:31.572
Okay, and how about this one?
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This will be the last one.
00:12:34.312 --> 00:12:36.173
Lyrics and songwriting.
00:12:36.263 --> 00:12:37.712
Matters, not matters, or skip?
00:12:38.714 --> 00:12:40.183
Oh, yeah.
00:12:40.274 --> 00:12:41.724
It does matter a lot.
00:12:43.942 --> 00:12:45.883
And why does it matter so much to you?
00:12:46.384 --> 00:12:56.163
It matters so much for me because you can express anything which is on your soul and to be heard by not raising your voice.
00:12:56.744 --> 00:13:00.323
Only when you are singing some higher notes, so obviously.
00:13:00.354 --> 00:13:06.274
But other than that, you can express everything w- what is in your heart, on, on your soul.
00:13:06.274 --> 00:13:14.413
You can throw these rocks away from you and just by singing those ly- lyrics, but only if you wrote them, not an AI.
00:13:16.993 --> 00:13:18.993
Okay, let's bring that back to the AI.
00:13:19.393 --> 00:13:23.883
Now, Dušan, before we leave you today, people do wanna hear you.
00:13:23.883 --> 00:13:25.602
We've talked about your new song.
00:13:26.043 --> 00:13:27.363
Where can they find you?
00:13:28.344 --> 00:13:42.823
Oh, they can find me on any streaming pl- platforms on the social media, but basically all the streaming platforms across the globe, like US Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia.
00:13:43.033 --> 00:13:46.894
Australia is on a completely different side of the world, but internet reaches there as well.
00:13:46.894 --> 00:13:50.913
So yeah, definitely on all the- all, all the streaming media.
00:13:51.423 --> 00:13:51.624
Yeah.
00:13:52.562 --> 00:13:53.253
Wonderful.
00:13:53.253 --> 00:13:56.413
We will look for your song"The Diary," your new song.
00:13:56.903 --> 00:14:03.462
Thank you so much for sharing your insights today about your songwriting process, about some of what matters to you.
00:14:03.543 --> 00:14:04.663
Dušan, it's been a pleasure.
00:14:04.692 --> 00:14:06.403
Thank you for joining matters.com.
00:14:06.903 --> 00:14:08.092
Same here, Emily.
00:14:08.092 --> 00:14:14.913
Thank you very much for inviting me for this call, and I will be alw- always happy to have a chat with you because it's, it's really a pleasure.
00:14:16.903 --> 00:14:21.052
Pleasure's all mine, and again, I'm Emily with matters.com.
00:14:23.523 --> 00:14:24.633
All right, Dušan.
00:14:24.633 --> 00:14:25.302
Awesome.
00:14:25.332 --> 00:14:27.643
Thanks for such a great conversation.
