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Welcome to the libido lounge where we focus on
all things love, lust, and libido.
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We believe that fabulous sex is important to
health as exercise and good food.
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Hey, everybody.
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Doctor Diane, your libido expert here.
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Welcome to another episode on the libido
lounge.
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I am so excited to introduce you to doctor
Nicole Marcioni.
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She is the founder.
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She is the CEO of sexy Smart Aging.
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So welcome to the show, doctor Nicole.
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Thank you for being here.
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Thank you for having me.
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I just I love that name, Libido Lounge.
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I feel like we should have our cosmos or Aperol
Spritzes in hand, as we discuss all of these
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fabulous topics.
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Believe me, that is the vision.
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That's where I'm going with this.
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Eventually, this will be done in a studio with
Aperol Spritzes, and we can all get together in
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person and talk about these really, really cool
topics.
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But for today, this is what we're doing.
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So
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I love it.
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Let's start off right away with talking a
little bit about your work in founding sexy
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smart aging.
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What is that?
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Why are you so passionate about that?
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And we wanna tie in today's episode, really
wanna tie for everybody together the the aging
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process, how that is related to libido, and the
concept of why antiaging is BS.
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Right?
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So we're gonna talk about all of that, but
let's just start by talking about the sexy
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smart aging, what you do, why you're so
passionate about the aging and libido topic.
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Yeah.
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I guess it really came about from, you know, so
much of aging and longevity and the voices and
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rhetoric we hear about it are either a negative
or are all about how to, like, resist it, be,
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deny it, you know, go against anti, all of
these things.
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And I really wanted to introduce not just us
the smart way because you and I both have
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doctor in front of our names.
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Right?
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We're we're smart in the common sense of the
word, and there's a lot of people out there
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that don't have that sense of expertise, you
may say.
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But what I found is we can't just always be
talking about the science of things, and always
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talking about exercise and diet.
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Like, those are ad nauseam being talked about.
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And what I found in working with clients is
bringing in the sensuality piece, bringing in
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the getting back into your body and connecting
with yourself piece, bringing in our sexuality,
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which just, let's face it, goes by the wayside
once you hit 40, and then forget about it if
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you're in your sixties and seventies.
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Like, no one's talking about it.
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But people wanna still be having sex.
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They might be too tired, which that brings in
the libido part and how to, like, rub that up.
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But I was like, how do I bring these two things
together?
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The science of longevity and the art of central
living.
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And that's where I came up with sexy smart
aging because we want both.
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Right?
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We don't wanna, like, we throw the baby out
with a bathwater and leave one and focus on
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just the other, but really how do these two
things intersect, and how do we bring them both
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and blend them into our life every day?
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And so this is where that came up from, and
it's took a while to finally kind of settle
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into it.
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Like, it's always been there, but I really was
very science forward for a long time with a
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PhD.
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You're just I'm sure with the MD, like, that's
constantly forced into you, like science first,
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evidence first, who are you citing, when was
the study done, how sophisticated was it.
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And those are all important things, but we
gotta, like, live a little and have fun and
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play and make things enjoyable because that's
how we make these lifestyle sustainable and how
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we you know, for the long run.
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If we're talking about longevity, we might have
another forty, fifty years in front of us.
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How are we gonna make this fun, connect to
ourselves, feel alive, and live a healthy life
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as we're doing it?
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I wanna touch on something you said because I
think all of this is so so important.
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What you what you brought up around talking
about exercise and some of these things ad
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nauseam, I think is a really, really good
point.
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Right?
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Because all of those things, all the basics and
the foundations are essential, and people are
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this is a common topic.
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People are hearing about about that.
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So I'm gonna pick out something you said, which
was, like, being inside of one's body and
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really feeling that, like, that sensual piece.
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And let's go a little bit deeper into, like,
what you mean by that.
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How how does somebody really know if they're in
their body or not?
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Why is that valuable?
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And can you, like, even talk about, like, why
that's valuable from a sexual health
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perspective?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So we live in a society which is all about
productivity, to do list, taking and women
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especially I mean, this applies to every human
being on the Earth, but women especially and in
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particular, I'm not a mom, but for the peep
women who are moms, usually they're moms.
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They're running the household.
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They have work.
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Maybe they even own their own business or on a
c suite level.
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And there is just too many things pulling at
this woman, and so what gets thrown aside is
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completely all of her own needs.
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On top of that, we have a society telling us if
we are thinking about our own needs, especially
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when it's beyond food and shelter, but it's
things like feeling good in our bodies, having
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a pleasurable experience, buying ourselves
roses, having a boba.
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Like, are you kidding me?
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What is wrong with you?
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That's so selfish.
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Who has time for that?
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Must be nice.
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Must be nice.
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Right?
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So this is all we're bombarded with, and yet,
really, being able to tap into our bodies, our
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physical bodies, actually allows us to slow
down enough so that we can understand where
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we're at right now, and that actually cat can
catapult us forward.
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It's almost like a slingshot.
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Like, you pull back.
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You slow down.
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You pull back.
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You figure out where you wanna aim, and then
you let that slingshot go and you go much
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further than if you were to just maybe throw
it, the rock or the ball or whatever.
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And so being in our bodies, one, is can be
scary.
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Right?
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Maybe we have religious conditioning that our
body's pleasure was bad.
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Maybe it's been through trauma.
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A lot of women, I think, is it one in four
women have some sort of sexual trauma that
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they've experienced.
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A lot of us are going through perimenopause or
menopause where our bodies are, like,
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betraying, quote, unquote, us, and we don't
even know who this is, this person is, or what
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this body who this body belongs to because this
isn't what it used to do, and now it's doing
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all kinds of crazy things.
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And so it's it can be easy to just cut
ourselves off at the neck.
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So when we bring that sensuality piece, and it
doesn't necessarily mean sexuality.
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They can they can be similar, but we can
definitely separate them.
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When we bring in the sensuality piece, it's
really how do we use our senses in our everyday
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life.
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Right?
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Sight, touch, sound, taste, smell, and then I
like the sixth intuition, which is or sixth
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sense, which is intuition for our gut feeling.
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And when we do that, it can be really simple.
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Just taking three deep breaths is going to
connect us back into our body.
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Just seeing, like, where am I feeling tight?
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What is feeling good?
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What isn't feeling good?
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How can I make everyday mundane experiences
like drinking a cup of coffee or putting my
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lotion on my body feel good and make me feel
like a human and make me feel alive?
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And so that is where we start connecting on a
deeper level to our bodies, and then that's
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where pleasure we can kind of step by step get
a little bit higher and higher.
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And then, eventually, that pleasure can
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end
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up looking at our sexuality, looking at our
libido, and not feel so overwhelming.
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Because I don't know about you, but I know a
lot of clients I work with, it's like, I can
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barely even pee have time to pee, let alone get
to orgasm.
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Right?
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Which we all know, women, it's, you need at
least twenty minutes.
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I mean, if you're solo, a little bit less.
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But But if you're with a partner, usually
that's what it takes.
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And who has the patience or the time, and then
it might not even be that great.
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Like, that's let's get real.
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Right.
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So there's effort.
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And and a lot of times, thinking about the
effort just becomes overwhelming, and so it's
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so much easier to just, like, shove it down.
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I don't need this.
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My life is okay.
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I don't need to have an extraordinary, you
know, pleasurable life.
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But then something hits us, and it's usually
around midlife.
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And we're like, wait a minute.
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I just got sold a list of goods that I don't
really like, and now I'm ready for something
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new.
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So in that way, for me, in my opinion, that is
the connection between sensuality and libido
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and aging and the society we live in.
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Yeah.
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There's so much good stuff there.
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I appreciate the just, like, the framing around
things that we hear so commonly in life.
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Like, that'd be that would be nice.
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Like, that'd be nice if I had the time.
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You know, those kind of things that we hear as
women, as humans, as men, and just as humans in
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general, I think this comes up a lot.
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Right?
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And so I really appreciate that.
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It's so, palpable.
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And the list, you know, that we do that you're
talking about, I think the list goes on
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sometimes where, like, all the things we have
to do that take us out of the body, that
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happens during the daylight you're talking
about.
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But then sometimes it actually happens when
we're trying to be intimate, right, when we're
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not in our body and all of a sudden, it's like
the brain is like, don't forget to buy the milk
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or make sure you take the you know, get the
shoes for the kids or god forgot to do that at
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work and trying to be intimate and in one's
body, and all of a sudden the brain's thinking
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about all the things that are not about the
pleasure.
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So do you find in your work then because what
some of what I hear is, like, the connection
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even between sensuality and and sexual
sexuality.
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And so are you finding sometimes in your work
that if people are having, say, a hard time
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creating the time for a sex life, doing the
things like you're talking about, pushing it
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away.
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It's like, I don't need this.
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I just kinda ignoring it.
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Do you find sometimes that tuning into the
sensual component of that you're describing,
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you know, putting the lotion on, feeling that,
is that sometimes like a bridge for if
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sexuality has been lost, almost like a bridge
kind of back into it?
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Yeah.
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That's exactly what it is because we're doing
these things
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every day anyways.
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Right?
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We get out of the shower.
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We put it on our moisturizer on our face.
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So or our body.
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So why not make this a sensual experience being
like, what does it smell like?
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What is the texture of the lotion or oil?
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What does my skin feel like?
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Oh, that feels really nice to rub my legs or my
back or my breasts, whatever it may be.
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And so then it doesn't feel so, scary or
shameful perhaps or overwhelming.
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It's just something you do every day.
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We're just shifting how we think about it.
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Instead of it being something to go through and
just cross off the list or we don't even have
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it on our list because it's so natural, like,
oh, this actually feels good.
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I am a human.
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I am a woman, and I feel alive right now
because of my senses.
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And then, yeah, you're able to step into a more
intimate experience with others on a sexual way
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in a sexual way because you've been creating
this intimacy with yourself.
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And so when you create this intimacy with
yourself, then it opens that gap or that bridge
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to step into feeling safe and confident also in
doing that with someone else.
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Amazing.
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So I always like to leave people with an
actionable step if possible.
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So would you say then we could leave people
with if where they're trying to really stoke
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their libido and they know it's valuable and
know they're trying to get back there, but it's
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hard.
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Would you say a good actionable step then is
something like you're saying just starting with
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picking an activity, like putting on lotion,
brushing their hair, some other type of
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activity they're doing on a day to day basis
anyways and try to do it from a more, like,
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pleasure filled way.
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Would that be an actionable step you'd
recommend?
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Exactly.
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And and then you could even transfer that into
giving a massage with your partner, right, or
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having coffee together and drinking it and
having essential experience in that way without
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anything sexual.
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Like, you can leave the sex part off the table
if you want.
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So it's just getting more comfortable and all
that.
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And so then that way, it it actually comes down
to it just kind of hit me is, like, being
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present.
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Because what you were saying is, like,
sometimes we're in intimate situations and
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we're thinking about our to do list or what the
kids need or the grocery store, whatever it is.
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And instead of being present in that moment
with yourself, self, not even with the other
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person necessarily, but with yourself.
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And a lot of times I'll add one more thing just
to get a little bit deeper, like a deeper
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layer.
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A lot of times, our brains go to that because
there's something underlying that we need to
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look at in a bigger way.
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And that could be maybe it is safety.
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I don't feel safe in my body, so I'm gonna
disassociate and start thinking of these
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things.
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Maybe it's I don't feel good in my body.
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Like, I I'm not confident or I feel shame or I
don't feel, you know, my body image is bad.
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Maybe we gotta look at that.
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Or it could be, different conditioning beliefs
that we were told about sex.
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And so I feel that is the place where most of
us don't wanna go.
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And yet, if we actually are brave enough
because it takes a lot of courage to do that,
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whether it's with a coach or a therapist or on
your own or reading books, whatever it is, but
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exposing those underlying things, that also is
a really great way to increase your libido, to
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enjoy your pleasure and all that.
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But if if that's too much, like, yes, starting
with the body moisturizing, starting with the
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hands on your heart and breathing, starting
with that body scan of just what you're
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feeling, those are, like, the entry points of
bringing more sensuality into your life for
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sure.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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And I know we could talk all day, and people
wanna know more.
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And you all this is a really exciting topic
because in the summit that I've been talking
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about a little bit, you guys will be able to
see doctor Nicole.
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We're gonna go more into all these topics, into
the aging process, how that's associated with
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libido, sensuality, sexuality, a lot more on
actionable steps.
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So make sure you look in the show notes for
your free registration to the sexual health and
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sexual dysfunction summit that's coming up here
very soon.
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You can register there.
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And you'll see information there too about how
to work with doctor Nicole, but I wanna make
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sure that we also kinda name how people get
started with you and they learn more about how,
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you know, about your your offerings.
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Do you wanna tell us a little bit about that?
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Sure.
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Quickly.
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And I just wanna say I am so excited about this
summit.
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Not just that I am part of it, but all the
other speakers.
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Like, this is incredible.
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And for everyone listening, I hope you run to
register because there is nothing like this
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going on online or actually in person as far as
I know.
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So it's just an incredible opportunity.
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But yeah.
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So I guess the best way is on, I'm on Instagram
at doctor Nicole Marcioni.
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I also work with people one on one.
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I have a few offerings there, and I have a
monthly, membership community in which these
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topics can be discussed freely without judgment
in a, you know, supportive way.
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And so I was like, you know, there really isn't
a lot of these communities.
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So I why do you not create one?
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Because I know I'm gonna love that as well.
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So I would say, all of those are different ways
to to work together, or to connect.
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And so, yeah, I just look forward to connecting
in a much deeper level with all of you.
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Oh, thank you so much, and I hope you guys all
take this to heart and you're not doing any
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sensual practice.
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Really look at starting with some of these
actionable steps.
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You'll find information about doctor Nicole,
like I said, in the show notes.
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And this is just a reminder to stay classy,
feel sexy, and always remember to be a little
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badassy.
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See you in the next one.
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Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
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Please don't keep me a secret.
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Please share this with your friends.
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You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as
well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:09,380
Welcome to the libido lounge where we focus on
all things love, lust, and libido.
2
00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:15,059
We believe that fabulous sex is important to
health as exercise and good food.
3
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:16,545
Hey, everybody.
4
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,844
Doctor Diane, your libido expert here.
5
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:22,064
Welcome to another episode on the libido
lounge.
6
00:00:22,204 --> 00:00:26,704
I am so excited to introduce you to doctor
Nicole Marcioni.
7
00:00:27,484 --> 00:00:28,704
She is the founder.
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00:00:28,765 --> 00:00:32,539
She is the CEO of sexy Smart Aging.
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00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,600
So welcome to the show, doctor Nicole.
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00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,979
Thank you for being here.
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00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,640
Thank you for having me.
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00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,460
I just I love that name, Libido Lounge.
13
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:47,784
I feel like we should have our cosmos or Aperol
Spritzes in hand, as we discuss all of these
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00:00:48,085 --> 00:00:49,385
fabulous topics.
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00:00:49,844 --> 00:00:51,365
Believe me, that is the vision.
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00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:52,885
That's where I'm going with this.
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00:00:52,885 --> 00:00:58,659
Eventually, this will be done in a studio with
Aperol Spritzes, and we can all get together in
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00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:02,100
person and talk about these really, really cool
topics.
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00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,340
But for today, this is what we're doing.
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00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:04,819
So
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00:01:05,219 --> 00:01:06,040
I love it.
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00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:12,094
Let's start off right away with talking a
little bit about your work in founding sexy
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00:01:12,094 --> 00:01:12,995
smart aging.
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00:01:13,055 --> 00:01:14,034
What is that?
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00:01:14,415 --> 00:01:16,435
Why are you so passionate about that?
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00:01:16,734 --> 00:01:22,355
And we wanna tie in today's episode, really
wanna tie for everybody together the the aging
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process, how that is related to libido, and the
concept of why antiaging is BS.
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Right?
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00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:35,859
So we're gonna talk about all of that, but
let's just start by talking about the sexy
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smart aging, what you do, why you're so
passionate about the aging and libido topic.
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Yeah.
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00:01:42,655 --> 00:01:51,215
I guess it really came about from, you know, so
much of aging and longevity and the voices and
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00:01:51,215 --> 00:02:00,049
rhetoric we hear about it are either a negative
or are all about how to, like, resist it, be,
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00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:06,765
deny it, you know, go against anti, all of
these things.
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00:02:06,765 --> 00:02:12,844
And I really wanted to introduce not just us
the smart way because you and I both have
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doctor in front of our names.
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00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:14,365
Right?
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00:02:14,365 --> 00:02:20,069
We're we're smart in the common sense of the
word, and there's a lot of people out there
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00:02:20,069 --> 00:02:23,210
that don't have that sense of expertise, you
may say.
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00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:29,430
But what I found is we can't just always be
talking about the science of things, and always
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talking about exercise and diet.
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00:02:31,430 --> 00:02:35,344
Like, those are ad nauseam being talked about.
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And what I found in working with clients is
bringing in the sensuality piece, bringing in
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the getting back into your body and connecting
with yourself piece, bringing in our sexuality,
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00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:53,960
which just, let's face it, goes by the wayside
once you hit 40, and then forget about it if
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00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,319
you're in your sixties and seventies.
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00:02:55,319 --> 00:02:56,439
Like, no one's talking about it.
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00:02:56,439 --> 00:02:58,699
But people wanna still be having sex.
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They might be too tired, which that brings in
the libido part and how to, like, rub that up.
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But I was like, how do I bring these two things
together?
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The science of longevity and the art of central
living.
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And that's where I came up with sexy smart
aging because we want both.
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Right?
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00:03:16,055 --> 00:03:20,819
We don't wanna, like, we throw the baby out
with a bathwater and leave one and focus on
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just the other, but really how do these two
things intersect, and how do we bring them both
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and blend them into our life every day?
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And so this is where that came up from, and
it's took a while to finally kind of settle
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into it.
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00:03:38,625 --> 00:03:44,305
Like, it's always been there, but I really was
very science forward for a long time with a
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PhD.
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00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:51,800
You're just I'm sure with the MD, like, that's
constantly forced into you, like science first,
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evidence first, who are you citing, when was
the study done, how sophisticated was it.
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And those are all important things, but we
gotta, like, live a little and have fun and
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play and make things enjoyable because that's
how we make these lifestyle sustainable and how
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we you know, for the long run.
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If we're talking about longevity, we might have
another forty, fifty years in front of us.
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How are we gonna make this fun, connect to
ourselves, feel alive, and live a healthy life
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as we're doing it?
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00:04:25,319 --> 00:04:29,694
I wanna touch on something you said because I
think all of this is so so important.
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What you what you brought up around talking
about exercise and some of these things ad
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nauseam, I think is a really, really good
point.
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Right?
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Because all of those things, all the basics and
the foundations are essential, and people are
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this is a common topic.
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People are hearing about about that.
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So I'm gonna pick out something you said, which
was, like, being inside of one's body and
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really feeling that, like, that sensual piece.
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And let's go a little bit deeper into, like,
what you mean by that.
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How how does somebody really know if they're in
their body or not?
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Why is that valuable?
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And can you, like, even talk about, like, why
that's valuable from a sexual health
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perspective?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So we live in a society which is all about
productivity, to do list, taking and women
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especially I mean, this applies to every human
being on the Earth, but women especially and in
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particular, I'm not a mom, but for the peep
women who are moms, usually they're moms.
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They're running the household.
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They have work.
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Maybe they even own their own business or on a
c suite level.
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And there is just too many things pulling at
this woman, and so what gets thrown aside is
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completely all of her own needs.
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On top of that, we have a society telling us if
we are thinking about our own needs, especially
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when it's beyond food and shelter, but it's
things like feeling good in our bodies, having
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a pleasurable experience, buying ourselves
roses, having a boba.
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Like, are you kidding me?
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What is wrong with you?
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That's so selfish.
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Who has time for that?
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Must be nice.
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Must be nice.
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Right?
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So this is all we're bombarded with, and yet,
really, being able to tap into our bodies, our
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physical bodies, actually allows us to slow
down enough so that we can understand where
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we're at right now, and that actually cat can
catapult us forward.
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It's almost like a slingshot.
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Like, you pull back.
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You slow down.
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You pull back.
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You figure out where you wanna aim, and then
you let that slingshot go and you go much
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further than if you were to just maybe throw
it, the rock or the ball or whatever.
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And so being in our bodies, one, is can be
scary.
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Right?
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Maybe we have religious conditioning that our
body's pleasure was bad.
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Maybe it's been through trauma.
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A lot of women, I think, is it one in four
women have some sort of sexual trauma that
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they've experienced.
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A lot of us are going through perimenopause or
menopause where our bodies are, like,
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betraying, quote, unquote, us, and we don't
even know who this is, this person is, or what
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this body who this body belongs to because this
isn't what it used to do, and now it's doing
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all kinds of crazy things.
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And so it's it can be easy to just cut
ourselves off at the neck.
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So when we bring that sensuality piece, and it
doesn't necessarily mean sexuality.
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They can they can be similar, but we can
definitely separate them.
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When we bring in the sensuality piece, it's
really how do we use our senses in our everyday
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life.
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Right?
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Sight, touch, sound, taste, smell, and then I
like the sixth intuition, which is or sixth
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sense, which is intuition for our gut feeling.
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And when we do that, it can be really simple.
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Just taking three deep breaths is going to
connect us back into our body.
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Just seeing, like, where am I feeling tight?
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What is feeling good?
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What isn't feeling good?
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00:08:22,454 --> 00:08:28,259
How can I make everyday mundane experiences
like drinking a cup of coffee or putting my
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lotion on my body feel good and make me feel
like a human and make me feel alive?
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And so that is where we start connecting on a
deeper level to our bodies, and then that's
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where pleasure we can kind of step by step get
a little bit higher and higher.
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And then, eventually, that pleasure can
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end
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up looking at our sexuality, looking at our
libido, and not feel so overwhelming.
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Because I don't know about you, but I know a
lot of clients I work with, it's like, I can
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barely even pee have time to pee, let alone get
to orgasm.
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Right?
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Which we all know, women, it's, you need at
least twenty minutes.
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I mean, if you're solo, a little bit less.
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But But if you're with a partner, usually
that's what it takes.
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And who has the patience or the time, and then
it might not even be that great.
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Like, that's let's get real.
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Right.
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So there's effort.
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And and a lot of times, thinking about the
effort just becomes overwhelming, and so it's
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so much easier to just, like, shove it down.
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I don't need this.
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My life is okay.
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I don't need to have an extraordinary, you
know, pleasurable life.
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But then something hits us, and it's usually
around midlife.
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And we're like, wait a minute.
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I just got sold a list of goods that I don't
really like, and now I'm ready for something
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new.
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So in that way, for me, in my opinion, that is
the connection between sensuality and libido
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and aging and the society we live in.
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Yeah.
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There's so much good stuff there.
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I appreciate the just, like, the framing around
things that we hear so commonly in life.
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Like, that'd be that would be nice.
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Like, that'd be nice if I had the time.
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You know, those kind of things that we hear as
women, as humans, as men, and just as humans in
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general, I think this comes up a lot.
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Right?
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And so I really appreciate that.
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It's so, palpable.
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And the list, you know, that we do that you're
talking about, I think the list goes on
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sometimes where, like, all the things we have
to do that take us out of the body, that
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happens during the daylight you're talking
about.
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But then sometimes it actually happens when
we're trying to be intimate, right, when we're
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not in our body and all of a sudden, it's like
the brain is like, don't forget to buy the milk
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or make sure you take the you know, get the
shoes for the kids or god forgot to do that at
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work and trying to be intimate and in one's
body, and all of a sudden the brain's thinking
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about all the things that are not about the
pleasure.
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So do you find in your work then because what
some of what I hear is, like, the connection
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even between sensuality and and sexual
sexuality.
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And so are you finding sometimes in your work
that if people are having, say, a hard time
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creating the time for a sex life, doing the
things like you're talking about, pushing it
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away.
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It's like, I don't need this.
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I just kinda ignoring it.
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Do you find sometimes that tuning into the
sensual component of that you're describing,
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you know, putting the lotion on, feeling that,
is that sometimes like a bridge for if
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sexuality has been lost, almost like a bridge
kind of back into it?
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Yeah.
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That's exactly what it is because we're doing
these things
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every day anyways.
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Right?
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We get out of the shower.
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We put it on our moisturizer on our face.
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So or our body.
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So why not make this a sensual experience being
like, what does it smell like?
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What is the texture of the lotion or oil?
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What does my skin feel like?
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Oh, that feels really nice to rub my legs or my
back or my breasts, whatever it may be.
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And so then it doesn't feel so, scary or
shameful perhaps or overwhelming.
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It's just something you do every day.
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We're just shifting how we think about it.
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Instead of it being something to go through and
just cross off the list or we don't even have
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it on our list because it's so natural, like,
oh, this actually feels good.
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I am a human.
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I am a woman, and I feel alive right now
because of my senses.
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And then, yeah, you're able to step into a more
intimate experience with others on a sexual way
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in a sexual way because you've been creating
this intimacy with yourself.
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And so when you create this intimacy with
yourself, then it opens that gap or that bridge
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to step into feeling safe and confident also in
doing that with someone else.
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Amazing.
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So I always like to leave people with an
actionable step if possible.
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So would you say then we could leave people
with if where they're trying to really stoke
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their libido and they know it's valuable and
know they're trying to get back there, but it's
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hard.
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Would you say a good actionable step then is
something like you're saying just starting with
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picking an activity, like putting on lotion,
brushing their hair, some other type of
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activity they're doing on a day to day basis
anyways and try to do it from a more, like,
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pleasure filled way.
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Would that be an actionable step you'd
recommend?
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Exactly.
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And and then you could even transfer that into
giving a massage with your partner, right, or
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having coffee together and drinking it and
having essential experience in that way without
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anything sexual.
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Like, you can leave the sex part off the table
if you want.
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So it's just getting more comfortable and all
that.
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And so then that way, it it actually comes down
to it just kind of hit me is, like, being
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present.
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Because what you were saying is, like,
sometimes we're in intimate situations and
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we're thinking about our to do list or what the
kids need or the grocery store, whatever it is.
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And instead of being present in that moment
with yourself, self, not even with the other
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person necessarily, but with yourself.
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And a lot of times I'll add one more thing just
to get a little bit deeper, like a deeper
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layer.
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A lot of times, our brains go to that because
there's something underlying that we need to
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look at in a bigger way.
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And that could be maybe it is safety.
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I don't feel safe in my body, so I'm gonna
disassociate and start thinking of these
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things.
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Maybe it's I don't feel good in my body.
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Like, I I'm not confident or I feel shame or I
don't feel, you know, my body image is bad.
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Maybe we gotta look at that.
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Or it could be, different conditioning beliefs
that we were told about sex.
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And so I feel that is the place where most of
us don't wanna go.
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And yet, if we actually are brave enough
because it takes a lot of courage to do that,
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whether it's with a coach or a therapist or on
your own or reading books, whatever it is, but
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exposing those underlying things, that also is
a really great way to increase your libido, to
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enjoy your pleasure and all that.
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But if if that's too much, like, yes, starting
with the body moisturizing, starting with the
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hands on your heart and breathing, starting
with that body scan of just what you're
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feeling, those are, like, the entry points of
bringing more sensuality into your life for
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sure.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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And I know we could talk all day, and people
wanna know more.
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And you all this is a really exciting topic
because in the summit that I've been talking
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about a little bit, you guys will be able to
see doctor Nicole.
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We're gonna go more into all these topics, into
the aging process, how that's associated with
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libido, sensuality, sexuality, a lot more on
actionable steps.
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So make sure you look in the show notes for
your free registration to the sexual health and
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sexual dysfunction summit that's coming up here
very soon.
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You can register there.
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And you'll see information there too about how
to work with doctor Nicole, but I wanna make
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sure that we also kinda name how people get
started with you and they learn more about how,
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you know, about your your offerings.
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Do you wanna tell us a little bit about that?
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Sure.
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Quickly.
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And I just wanna say I am so excited about this
summit.
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Not just that I am part of it, but all the
other speakers.
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Like, this is incredible.
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And for everyone listening, I hope you run to
register because there is nothing like this
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going on online or actually in person as far as
I know.
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So it's just an incredible opportunity.
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But yeah.
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So I guess the best way is on, I'm on Instagram
at doctor Nicole Marcioni.
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I also work with people one on one.
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I have a few offerings there, and I have a
monthly, membership community in which these
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topics can be discussed freely without judgment
in a, you know, supportive way.
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And so I was like, you know, there really isn't
a lot of these communities.
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So I why do you not create one?
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Because I know I'm gonna love that as well.
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So I would say, all of those are different ways
to to work together, or to connect.
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And so, yeah, I just look forward to connecting
in a much deeper level with all of you.
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Oh, thank you so much, and I hope you guys all
take this to heart and you're not doing any
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sensual practice.
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Really look at starting with some of these
actionable steps.
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You'll find information about doctor Nicole,
like I said, in the show notes.
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And this is just a reminder to stay classy,
feel sexy, and always remember to be a little
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badassy.
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See you in the next one.
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Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
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Please don't keep me a secret.
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Please share this with your friends.
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You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as
well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.
