WEBVTT
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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to Let's Not Sure Recorded.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Season 3 is here and we're excited to dive into the core of communication relationships and leadership.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We are hosts, Bella and Lee.
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[SPEAKER_02]: A husband and wife duo with a successful business helping couples and organizations get it together to play a bigger game and elevate the relationships and performance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We believe in keeping it real, so each week we'll bring you incredible guests onto the nurse's sharing their authentic experiences, along with episodes featuring just the two of us tackling the tough topics.
00:30.403 --> 00:36.636
[SPEAKER_02]: So, if you're ready to enhance your connections and sharpen your leadership skills, you're in the right place, let's get started.
00:36.700 --> 00:39.426
[SPEAKER_01]: see a lot of people are still bringing up the patterns.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They're still talking about the Met brunch with their friends and unfortunately on a metaphysical level, the universe is only going to reflect what your inner story is.
00:46.503 --> 00:53.680
[SPEAKER_01]: So if the inner story stays the same, you're going to stay in my virtual residence with whatever it is that you think lack.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, men are trash, that example that I always hear, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's the same girls that say that that always tell me that their dates didn't go well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But the girl that says everything's working out for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm really excited about the future.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She tends to find a guy much quicker.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's interesting because I try to tell people there has to be a point where you sever the relationship with the ego identity and live in the now and get outside the mind and the thoughts and live in pure source energy because because source itself God universe whatever people want to call it is is whole and complete and that's what we are we're a fractal of that so we actually we we tell ourselves that we're broken and we'll be okay when we get this thing and when we get this job will be happy and
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[SPEAKER_01]: But at our core, we're complete and whole, and we are love, we are all these things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So if you sit in that and start from that place, you know, especially the breath, the breath is the connection to the divine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So if you sit with the breath and you kind of recharge, you'll realize that the thoughts get quieter and you kind of have this peace and elation in you, that's already innately in you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I tell people to go there first before they start telling another
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that because like when we were starting to rebrand our business and we were working with our marketing team, you know, they wanted to focus on our breakdown and, you know, we had our breakthrough.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no, the breakdown happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's fine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it's
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[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't have to get to the breakdown and I want to put an energy on the breakdown in our relationship.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want to focus on the breakthrough and how we communicate, how we ask for what we want, what we need, how we show up for each other.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When we do mess up, because emotions were all works in progress.
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[SPEAKER_00]: step back and then we are able to come back to the conversation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like actually, baby, you know, this wasn't about you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This was actually pulling up some stuff for me from the past and so I'm now taking back whatever I put on us.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, it's that method, that process of
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[SPEAKER_02]: getting complete, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's a process of completion.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I learned this distinction a long time ago where we, an example would be, you know what, what's your favorite, you have a favorite sport Jordan tennis tennis?
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[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like if you went to a tennis game and your favorite player,
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[SPEAKER_02]: And the game is over, and you're leaving the court, but you're still really upset about it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: The game is over.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's over, but you are not complete with what happened in the past.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's still living with you in the present.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's that very process you're talking about, where as you need to take a look at some of your activities that are happening, the things you're doing, as well as the thoughts you're having, and figure out, okay, how do I get to be complete?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes it's just being like, hey, okay, my favorite player lost.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just, it's just, it's just what's so, no meaning making it's just what so it's a thing that happened and you just need to be complete with it and then it allows you to be able to move on and in a much more powerful place and and going back to what you're saying,
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[SPEAKER_02]: an energetic shift that occurs when you're focusing on the good things are happening.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't mean being naive and forgetting.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's just about being complete with stuff that's happened in the past that just opens up the taps.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I guess you can say right for that positive energy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Otherwise, you continue to take that negative energy and propel it into the future.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and then you're keeping all that stuff inside your body and that's when sickness happens, you know, aches and pains and you know, whatever and we have no more room within ourselves for new opportunities, new possibilities growth because we're so stuck in the past and we're so stuck.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, bringing all of the baggage with us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's somewhat shit people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I just let some of that shit go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I tell people, like, when we say manifest, I don't really call them manifesting because everything already exists in different realities.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're just shifting your awareness.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But there's kind of like three parts to it and I always tell people, you know, so the second part, I'll just go to the, the first and the second, but the second part of the assume the state of being assume the new reality assume the new person you want to become.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then the third part would be to quite the thoughts that don't allow you to shift to the new person.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You're not going to be that your mom said this blah, blah, blah, blah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But the first part that has to happen before people shift in any way and I had to do it is you need nervous system regulation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And there's different modalities for that breath for meditation, spinal energetics, rakey, people do all kinds of things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I had a reactive nervous system.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so if your nervous system is so disregulated that you're not going to be able to control any of your thoughts, you're not going to be able to hold any new state of being.
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[SPEAKER_01]: you can't even get into any shifting or any healing because you know when people cut you off in traffic it's gonna remind you of when you were 12 and then you're gonna go in a spiral and your partner says something to you and you go off and you're back and anger and you're in another thought loop.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So for me I had to do several months of breath work and spinal energetics to basically release a lot of the trauma I was holding in my body in different parts of my body like
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[SPEAKER_01]: my fashion, my stomach was filled with like all this pain and I went through that and then all of a sudden there was like this moment I was like wow is this how people feel on an everyday like basis like you look at a child right children are just filled with this wonder they don't think about the unconscious mind they don't have stories yet they don't have anything built up they just go why can't I do this daddy why can't I become this
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[SPEAKER_01]: We build it up, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: We build up the trauma and the stories and the ego over time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't release it on a physical level, it's really, really difficult to then try to shift mentally into any sort of headspace.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I did some, let's say, wacky stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But it was like, network spinal was one where these women I'd sit on my front and they would like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: half parts of my body and do this energy healing, which I would have laughed at this stuff a year ago.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But like, you know, they're tapping parts of my body and I'm starting cry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I start to cry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We're like, after one session, I'm laughing in my car for 20 minutes on control, because they're releasing all this stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I tell people when they're like, you know, I want to change my life, I want to, you know, bring this into my reality.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like start with the nervous system regulation, dedicate the first two to three months to that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll be able to bring
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I went to a women's festival and I had a Rainer massage Oh, Rainer or something or something like that where they use different modalities So yes, they use their hands, but they also to rakey.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They also move energies and there was a moment I was maybe five minutes in and the way she pushed and she she held the tension She whispered in my ear.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's like
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't hold on to all this pain Bella.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to let this pain go and for an assolid hour I cried like the at least not like I just needed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She gave me permission to let go and to let go and to let go and there was parts of my body should I went, I was like I turned on my backs.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, please, someone helped me, like, give me some clues or whatever, I just could not, but I've released so much pain that I was carrying within my body because we're, we hold on to those memories we hold on to things that happen to us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, there's no need to carry that with us anymore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is not happening.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I acknowledged it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: through, you know, moving through it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the key is moving through that energy, not suppressing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When something happens at the moment, feel the feels.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If your angry feel that anger and then let it go, it's done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Those are normal, like we need to feel all of our emotions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When we suppress any emotion, that's when it gets stored in our bodies.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Rick, because we tend to think that when we feel something we need to act on him.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So just because you feel anger, you can separate the emotion of anger and the action of anger.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Those are two different things.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so you can allow your body to
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[SPEAKER_02]: feel it, and then let it go, and yet not affect on it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's, you know, again, an important distinction.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I love Jordan you saying about the physical part, because I want to say like we don't, like we don't remember, we tend to forget, but it's just we're not really taught that our psychology and our physiology are just so connected.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, as much as you can use your psychology to kind of come over
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[SPEAKER_02]: We also tend to think that memories are just stored up here, and that's not true.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Memories are also stored in our body, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so to do that work that you're talking about, like, on your nervous system and be able to let go of the, whatever it is, the trauma, the negative energies, the things that are stored in there, is also a huge component.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's not just,
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[SPEAKER_02]: journaling and meditating and things like that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's finding some, you know, modality that works for you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I think anybody who is not getting the results that they want in life, they're unhappy with some aspect.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And when you hear these types of different approaches, you can take that immediate thought that you might have, where it's like, oh, that's crazy or that doesn't work or whatever, that is your ego again, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: That that is your current identity that's giving you those results that you don't want in life, not wanting to be let go.
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[SPEAKER_02]: right and it's it's trying to convince you that all these other things that may actually give you transformational results in life is trying to trick you into saying don't do it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We hope you enjoyed today's episode and gained valuable insights to elevate your life and business.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you found value in our conversation, spread the love, share this episode with family and friends and let's grow this supportive community together.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And don't forget to like and follow us, we can reach more amazing people just like you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Until next time, remember, let's not struggle coded, keep it real raw and unfiltered.
00:00.031 --> 00:02.255
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to Let's Not Sure Recorded.
00:02.656 --> 00:08.227
[SPEAKER_00]: Season 3 is here and we're excited to dive into the core of communication relationships and leadership.
00:08.728 --> 00:10.151
[SPEAKER_02]: We are hosts, Bella and Lee.
00:10.511 --> 00:18.968
[SPEAKER_02]: A husband and wife duo with a successful business helping couples and organizations get it together to play a bigger game and elevate the relationships and performance.
00:19.100 --> 00:29.922
[SPEAKER_00]: We believe in keeping it real, so each week we'll bring you incredible guests onto the nurse's sharing their authentic experiences, along with episodes featuring just the two of us tackling the tough topics.
00:30.403 --> 00:36.636
[SPEAKER_02]: So, if you're ready to enhance your connections and sharpen your leadership skills, you're in the right place, let's get started.
00:36.700 --> 00:39.426
[SPEAKER_01]: see a lot of people are still bringing up the patterns.
00:39.487 --> 00:46.323
[SPEAKER_01]: They're still talking about the Met brunch with their friends and unfortunately on a metaphysical level, the universe is only going to reflect what your inner story is.
00:46.503 --> 00:53.680
[SPEAKER_01]: So if the inner story stays the same, you're going to stay in my virtual residence with whatever it is that you think lack.
00:53.660 --> 00:56.648
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, men are trash, that example that I always hear, right?
00:56.808 --> 01:00.377
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the same girls that say that that always tell me that their dates didn't go well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But the girl that says everything's working out for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm really excited about the future.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She tends to find a guy much quicker.
01:09.100 --> 01:37.909
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's interesting because I try to tell people there has to be a point where you sever the relationship with the ego identity and live in the now and get outside the mind and the thoughts and live in pure source energy because because source itself God universe whatever people want to call it is is whole and complete and that's what we are we're a fractal of that so we actually we we tell ourselves that we're broken and we'll be okay when we get this thing and when we get this job will be happy and
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[SPEAKER_01]: But at our core, we're complete and whole, and we are love, we are all these things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So if you sit in that and start from that place, you know, especially the breath, the breath is the connection to the divine.
01:50.885 --> 02:00.297
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you sit with the breath and you kind of recharge, you'll realize that the thoughts get quieter and you kind of have this peace and elation in you, that's already innately in you.
02:00.317 --> 02:06.765
[SPEAKER_01]: And I tell people to go there first before they start telling another
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that because like when we were starting to rebrand our business and we were working with our marketing team, you know, they wanted to focus on our breakdown and, you know, we had our breakthrough.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no, the breakdown happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's fine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it's
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[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't have to get to the breakdown and I want to put an energy on the breakdown in our relationship.
02:34.967 --> 02:43.381
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to focus on the breakthrough and how we communicate, how we ask for what we want, what we need, how we show up for each other.
02:43.902 --> 02:48.970
[SPEAKER_00]: When we do mess up, because emotions were all works in progress.
02:50.063 --> 02:53.810
[SPEAKER_00]: step back and then we are able to come back to the conversation.
02:53.830 --> 02:56.395
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like actually, baby, you know, this wasn't about you.
02:56.455 --> 03:06.693
[SPEAKER_00]: This was actually pulling up some stuff for me from the past and so I'm now taking back whatever I put on us.
03:06.974 --> 03:13.185
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, it's that method, that process of
03:13.418 --> 03:15.661
[SPEAKER_02]: getting complete, right?
03:15.701 --> 03:17.983
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a process of completion.
03:18.504 --> 03:28.937
[SPEAKER_02]: I learned this distinction a long time ago where we, an example would be, you know what, what's your favorite, you have a favorite sport Jordan tennis tennis?
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[SPEAKER_02]: So it's like if you went to a tennis game and your favorite player,
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[SPEAKER_02]: And the game is over, and you're leaving the court, but you're still really upset about it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: The game is over.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's over, but you are not complete with what happened in the past.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's still living with you in the present.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's that very process you're talking about, where as you need to take a look at some of your activities that are happening, the things you're doing, as well as the thoughts you're having, and figure out, okay, how do I get to be complete?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes it's just being like, hey, okay, my favorite player lost.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just, it's just, it's just what's so, no meaning making it's just what so it's a thing that happened and you just need to be complete with it and then it allows you to be able to move on and in a much more powerful place and and going back to what you're saying,
04:39.498 --> 04:45.866
[SPEAKER_02]: an energetic shift that occurs when you're focusing on the good things are happening.
04:45.886 --> 04:48.789
[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't mean being naive and forgetting.
04:48.989 --> 04:55.678
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just about being complete with stuff that's happened in the past that just opens up the taps.
04:55.698 --> 04:57.920
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess you can say right for that positive energy.
04:57.980 --> 05:04.408
[SPEAKER_02]: Otherwise, you continue to take that negative energy and propel it into the future.
05:04.388 --> 05:24.658
[SPEAKER_00]: and then you're keeping all that stuff inside your body and that's when sickness happens, you know, aches and pains and you know, whatever and we have no more room within ourselves for new opportunities, new possibilities growth because we're so stuck in the past and we're so stuck.
05:24.638 --> 05:27.643
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, bringing all of the baggage with us.
05:27.703 --> 05:28.605
[SPEAKER_00]: It's somewhat shit people.
05:28.665 --> 05:30.167
[SPEAKER_00]: I just let some of that shit go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sorry.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I tell people, like, when we say manifest, I don't really call them manifesting because everything already exists in different realities.
05:39.844 --> 05:41.567
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just shifting your awareness.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But there's kind of like three parts to it and I always tell people, you know, so the second part, I'll just go to the, the first and the second, but the second part of the assume the state of being assume the new reality assume the new person you want to become.
05:52.983 --> 05:57.930
[SPEAKER_01]: And then the third part would be to quite the thoughts that don't allow you to shift to the new person.
05:58.030 --> 06:01.054
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not going to be that your mom said this blah, blah, blah, blah.
06:01.074 --> 06:09.225
[SPEAKER_01]: But the first part that has to happen before people shift in any way and I had to do it is you need nervous system regulation.
06:09.205 --> 06:16.435
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's different modalities for that breath for meditation, spinal energetics, rakey, people do all kinds of things.
06:17.056 --> 06:19.439
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a reactive nervous system.
06:20.080 --> 06:28.311
[SPEAKER_01]: And so if your nervous system is so disregulated that you're not going to be able to control any of your thoughts, you're not going to be able to hold any new state of being.
06:28.291 --> 06:42.529
[SPEAKER_01]: you can't even get into any shifting or any healing because you know when people cut you off in traffic it's gonna remind you of when you were 12 and then you're gonna go in a spiral and your partner says something to you and you go off and you're back and anger and you're in another thought loop.
06:43.090 --> 06:53.944
[SPEAKER_01]: So for me I had to do several months of breath work and spinal energetics to basically release a lot of the trauma I was holding in my body in different parts of my body like
06:53.924 --> 07:19.560
[SPEAKER_01]: my fashion, my stomach was filled with like all this pain and I went through that and then all of a sudden there was like this moment I was like wow is this how people feel on an everyday like basis like you look at a child right children are just filled with this wonder they don't think about the unconscious mind they don't have stories yet they don't have anything built up they just go why can't I do this daddy why can't I become this
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[SPEAKER_01]: We build it up, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: We build up the trauma and the stories and the ego over time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't release it on a physical level, it's really, really difficult to then try to shift mentally into any sort of headspace.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I did some, let's say, wacky stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But it was like, network spinal was one where these women I'd sit on my front and they would like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: half parts of my body and do this energy healing, which I would have laughed at this stuff a year ago.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But like, you know, they're tapping parts of my body and I'm starting cry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I start to cry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We're like, after one session, I'm laughing in my car for 20 minutes on control, because they're releasing all this stuff.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I tell people when they're like, you know, I want to change my life, I want to, you know, bring this into my reality.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like start with the nervous system regulation, dedicate the first two to three months to that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll be able to bring
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, I went to a women's festival and I had a Rainer massage Oh, Rainer or something or something like that where they use different modalities So yes, they use their hands, but they also to rakey.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They also move energies and there was a moment I was maybe five minutes in and the way she pushed and she she held the tension She whispered in my ear.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She's like
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't hold on to all this pain Bella.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to let this pain go and for an assolid hour I cried like the at least not like I just needed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She gave me permission to let go and to let go and to let go and there was parts of my body should I went, I was like I turned on my backs.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, please, someone helped me, like, give me some clues or whatever, I just could not, but I've released so much pain that I was carrying within my body because we're, we hold on to those memories we hold on to things that happen to us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, there's no need to carry that with us anymore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It is not happening.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I acknowledged it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: through, you know, moving through it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the key is moving through that energy, not suppressing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When something happens at the moment, feel the feels.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If your angry feel that anger and then let it go, it's done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Those are normal, like we need to feel all of our emotions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When we suppress any emotion, that's when it gets stored in our bodies.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Rick, because we tend to think that when we feel something we need to act on him.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So just because you feel anger, you can separate the emotion of anger and the action of anger.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Those are two different things.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so you can allow your body to
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[SPEAKER_02]: feel it, and then let it go, and yet not affect on it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's, you know, again, an important distinction.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I love Jordan you saying about the physical part, because I want to say like we don't, like we don't remember, we tend to forget, but it's just we're not really taught that our psychology and our physiology are just so connected.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, as much as you can use your psychology to kind of come over
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[SPEAKER_02]: We also tend to think that memories are just stored up here, and that's not true.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Memories are also stored in our body, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so to do that work that you're talking about, like, on your nervous system and be able to let go of the, whatever it is, the trauma, the negative energies, the things that are stored in there, is also a huge component.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's not just,
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[SPEAKER_02]: journaling and meditating and things like that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's finding some, you know, modality that works for you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I think anybody who is not getting the results that they want in life, they're unhappy with some aspect.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And when you hear these types of different approaches, you can take that immediate thought that you might have, where it's like, oh, that's crazy or that doesn't work or whatever, that is your ego again, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: That that is your current identity that's giving you those results that you don't want in life, not wanting to be let go.
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[SPEAKER_02]: right and it's it's trying to convince you that all these other things that may actually give you transformational results in life is trying to trick you into saying don't do it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We hope you enjoyed today's episode and gained valuable insights to elevate your life and business.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Until next time, remember, let's not struggle coded, keep it real raw and unfiltered.
