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Welcome to Leftyobase Writing Podcast where I share with vulnerability and positivity my journey towards making all of my writing dreams come true.
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I hope you learn with me as I go from the things that go well and what doesn't go so well.
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But mainly I wish it inspires you to pursue your own writing dreams.
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Now let's begin.
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Hello and welcome to Lefty Obeys Writing Podcast.
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I'm so happy that you're here with me today.
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So first, forgive me if you're watching the video.
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Last week the video quality was really not there.
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I tried to do something because when I'm sharing on social media, like the visual is not the best.
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So I tried something and it made it worse, which meant I could not use any clips from last week to post on social media.
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So lesson learned.
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Do not try to reinvent the wheel.
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This format is perfect.
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So if you watch the video, if you enjoy watching the video, the visual will be better this week.
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Also, I figured out because thank you, BuzzProud, this is the platform I'm using for podcasting.
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Now it's like one click and it posts to YouTube and it also posts to Spotify, the video format.
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So Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube, the three biggest platforms for video podcasts.
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Now my podcast is available on all of those.
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So if you enjoy YouTube, you can go and listen there.
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And if you are on Spotify right now, you can check out the video.
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Or of course, if you are on Apple Podcasts, it was already available there.
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So you can go and watch the video version.
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By the way, if you have a podcast, I really recommend Buzz Sprout.
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They are a really great platform.
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And I have in the links in my show notes a little discount for you to use if you lose my affiliate link.
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So you can go and check that out too.
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Before I get into this week's episode, I just saw something in the stats of the podcast.
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The second biggest country where the podcast is being listened to, the first one being the United States, which makes sense because this is in English.
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But the second one is Japan.
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And I was like, wow, how amazing is this?
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Thank you, internet.
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Thank you, social media and podcast and everything.
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That my words can reach like all the way to Japan.
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So I just wanted to make a little shout out to my Japanese listener.
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You can go and add a comment either on social media, you can DM me, or if you're listening on Spotify, there is a comment option there.
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Anyway that you see.
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So anyway, if you are a Japanese listener and you enjoy the podcast, please let me know.
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I would just love to know who you are.
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But I I got really excited when I saw that the podcast was listened to so much in Japan because it seems to be such a beautiful country.
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And just a side note for me like I would love one day to speak like four languages.
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And the language I'm working on right now is Italian, so French, English, I'm working on Italian, and I would love to learn Japanese after that.
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It's just such a beautiful language, and I feel like I'm gonna love the country when I go one day.
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So anyway, I just wanted to make a little shout out, especially for you.
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But the topic of this week's episode is why do feedback hurt so much and what you can do about it.
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So this topic was inspired by a conversation I had with my amazing friend Vivian, and where I it came when I realized that feedback didn't hurt anymore, and I could see the contrast with before when it hurt so freaking bad.
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And I I was telling Vivian what I think is the shift in me that allowed me to now see feedback super positively when as before it was hurting so much.
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And I just wanted to share that with all of you because I think as a writer, the best and most effective way to learn and to grow and to develop our craft is to have feedback.
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And submitting to magazine isn't gonna give you feedback.
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Submitting to Literary Agent, although we would love for them, and sometimes they do, they do give feedback.
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This is not the way to get feedback, to get really actionable feedback.
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So the way is to develop friendship with other writers, with other writers who have owned their craft, and to exchange your work with them, and you get feedback from them and you give them feedback, which also helps you to develop your craft.
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And that's the way that you'll get better and that your book will have such a bigger chance of having success, like anywhere you plan to send it.
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So I'm a big believer that receiving feedback on your writing is absolutely essential.
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But for the feedback to be useful to you, you need to be able to take it the right way.
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And this is something that took me so long, even though I've received feedback on my writing for when I did my certificate in creative writing was the first time I got feedback on my writing, and I cried home the first time I got back from that creative group.
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So it's been exactly 15 years that I've started to get feedback on my writing, and I think for 14 years receiving feedback on my writing was hard.
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And now, genuinely, like I'm always so freaking excited and happy and seeing the feedback as something positive.
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I'm not saying it's always fun because sometimes it's like, oh okay, man, I didn't manage to do that right, but I can always see it positively now, and it feels so much better.
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So it's going to be the topic of this episode.
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And if you're struggling with feedback or if you haven't even asked for feedback because you're afraid of that, this is going to be the perfect podcast episode for you.
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But first, update because if you listen to the previous episode, I was so much like in the woo-woo happiness about my news of full-time writing.
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I didn't do any update from the last episode that I recorded with an update.
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So this is the update with like fully updated.
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So I sold a short story and it got published.
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Not sold because I wasn't paid, but it got published in between like the last episode where I did an update and now.
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So I was hinting at that in the last episode.
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Um, not the last, but the one before.
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I hinted at that with the RR, and the RR turned into publication.
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I will put the link in the show notes if you want to go read.
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It's called If We Go, We Don't Come Back.
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It's a horror short story, pretty quick read, and I just love this story.
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It's a ghost post-apocalyptic story, where like instead of being like zombies who created the apocalypse, it's ghosts that appeared everywhere and started to hunt their loved ones, making them so depressed that the most of the population of the planet and their own life because they couldn't deal with it.
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And our main character is living in this world, and she's never loved anyone except her foster sister, and so like they are immune to the ghost because there is no ghost of their loved one, and of course, in the first scene, our foster sister died, and then she will have to deal with what would she do when her ghost do come back, even though they promised so many times that if they go, they would not come back.
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So I really, really love that story.
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If you were ever curious about what I write, like you know, you hear me talking about my writing, and you were curious to see, okay, what does she write?
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I think this story is a good way for you to be introduced to my writing.
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Caveat, like it's a story I wrote uh years and years ago, so it doesn't represent fully the writer that I am on a craft level.
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Like I think my craft has improved since writing that story, but I still believe this is a story that represents me a lot in terms of it's paranormal, it's horror, there's a mental health element to it.
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It's really a story that makes you feel hopeful, even though like it's bad in the middle.
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I really believe this is a story that represents my writing beautifully.
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And so if you are ever curious and want to see it, just go and in the link in the show notes and go read it.
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And if you do read it and you enjoy it, please go over on social media or write me an email.
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I will put my email address also in the show notes.
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I would just love to know how people are feeling about this story because I know some people read it, but I haven't had any response back, which is okay.
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But it would just be fun to know what people think about the story.
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So if you do feel inclined, you can tell me how you feel about the story.
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So that was my my uh big, big update since the last time.
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Also, there is another short story that it's a flash fiction that I wrote back in spring when my life was so crazy and I was completely overwhelmed.
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I wrote that flash fiction based on that feeling inside of me.
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And I really love this one.
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And it's one of the flash fiction that I made my two friend who reads everything that I write, Catherine and Vivian.
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They have read me for so long, and it was the first time they had such a strong reaction of wow, this is so good.
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So I'm really proud of that story, that little flash fiction.
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I've submitted to I don't remember how many magazines at that point, but right now it's actually pending at three magazines, and it's been pending for more than a hundred days.
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Which, if you're ever submitting your short stories to magazines, you know that the longer it takes, usually the the it's a good sign.
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The rejection comes really fast, and the acceptance takes a long time to get there.
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And it's been pending at three markets for a long time.
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And I can see on Submission Grinder, the website that I use to find markets and also to track my submission, I can see that they have rejected stories after me.
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So I'm thinking I'm on a maybe pile for those three magazines, which is pretty cool.
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And these are all paying magazines.
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So I'm hoping that in the next week I will be announcing something positive around that story.
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But I'm just rejoicing in the fun of they haven't rejected it yet, and so maybe it's a maybe and maybe it turns into a yes.
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So we'll see with that.
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Also, I've been working, this is something I haven't told much about, but since I'm always reading middle grade books in French with my daughter every evening because, like part of her schooling, I do that with her.
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So I've been immersed a lot in middle grade fiction with my daughter, and there is a big market of middle grade fiction in Quebec.
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And when I went to the book fair back in spring, I was meeting with some friends, some connection that I have.
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I was going to see them at the book fair, and they both said, like, there is really a big market.
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You should try to get into the market of middle grade books for kids in French in Quebec.
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And so one of them even introduced me to his editor who invited me to submit them a story.
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And so things have been so busy since spring that I didn't have time to really invest myself in that story.
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But I have started working more intensely on this story.
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I think I'm gonna be done by the end of the week with the first draft.
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It's a horror novel, it's about aliens, and I I just love it so much, and I'm gonna test it out with my daughter as soon as it's finished.
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But I'm having fun working on that story, and you know, it could be another opportunity for me to make this full-time permanent with writing for kids, but also there's a beautiful opportunity in Quebec as a writer of fiction for kids to go in schools and to talk to children's in schools, and it could be like it could really support financially a writer, and I just love talking about writing.
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Oh, of course, you know.
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I went to talk to my daughter's schools to talk about my writing, and I really, really enjoyed it.
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So that could be something also that I love to do.
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So I'm trying to open up that market for myself.
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So we'll see where that leads us.
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And last thing, of course, I've been working on my novel.
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So the second novel, the second one I'm working with with my agent to get it ready for submission to editors.
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It's been going great, it's been going even better since now uh I can finally dedicate a lot of time every single day to it.
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At first, I was submitting it to my lovely friends who are helping me, reading that manuscript, giving me feedback on it, and also to my agent.
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But as I saw that first, my friend gives me phenomenal feedback on the novel, and they give it fairly quickly.
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So I'm like, I think I need to, I realized that I needed to do another draft by myself with my friends before my agent got to it, so that I preserve our time and also that she gets to give me feedback on the best manuscript I can possibly give her.
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And because now I have lots of time to dedicate to this book, it didn't feel like it would stretch the timeline too much of going into submission.
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So I proposed that to my agent, and she was like, Yes, absolutely, do let's do it this way.
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So this is what we're doing now, and in a way, like it freed me up because I was like, Okay, no, I can go back, and there is so many things I want to change to make it even better, and now I feel like I I can.
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So, just taking this opportunity to say thank you to my wonderful friends who are helping me, but I'm so excited about my novel and where it's going.
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And I'm reading the middle build right now, and I got into a point where from the middle point to the end, this is all the scenes that work the best because I was really in a flow knowing where I was going with the manuscript, and this is the most fun part to me from the middle point to the end, and I was reading them and I was like, okay, yeah, like I can see what this book is going to be, and I had so many insights and ideas of what I can do to make the beginning match this part and to make it all work so much and make sure everything fits together and everything makes sense and there's conflict throughout.
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And I worked on my character's motivation.
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This is what you can see behind me on the wall.
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I'm a big fan of post-its on the wall to detach myself from the computer and allow me to see like the forest for the trees, and I have another wall next to me.
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If you go on my Instagram, I've posted that wall too.
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But that one back there is for my character's motivation, and I realized that I had some key characters that I did not know where the motivation were.
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And when I nailed it down and I saw it was creating conflict with the motivation of the other character, that's when like everything clicked.
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And I'm actually pretty proud of myself for that because in my previous book, although I love it absolutely.
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So the book that got me my agent, there was one thing that I thought could work better with that book, and it was all the supporting characters did not have really an arc of their own.
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They did not really have their own full life outside of my main character and the main storyline happening.
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And this was something that was bothering me, but at the same time, because this novel was a mother in our house alone all the time, it felt so intimate to that character that it sort of makes sense also that we don't really see the life of the characters around it.
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But I could feel like this was maybe the least strong part of that novel was the fact that the supporting cast did not really have a life of their own.
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So, in the back of my mind, I was like, with the next book, I really want to make sure that every single character, you can see that they have their own life and their own thing going on.
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And I think it goes to having their own motivation and everything they do in the book being linked to that motivation.
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So that's what I did back there.
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And I actually didn't consciously build my book this way, but I'm just happy to see that with this book, it's not going to be a low point.
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Actually, I think it's going to be a strong point of this novel.
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The fact that every single character, even if they are just the supporting cast, they do have their motivation and they do have their own things going on in their life that's all being connected through the haunted house, of course, which is the main star of the novel.
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So as you can see, I'm having a lot of fun with it, and I really do believe this novel is fantastic and will be in its final form.
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There was still, which I could see with my friends, there were still a lot of things that I needed to refine and deepen and really make work, especially in the beginning.
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But I think we're getting there closer and closer with every draft, and it's just amazing that I finally, finally have the time to work on all of this.
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So sorry for a little bit longer update because we had lots to cover.
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So these are all with my updates.
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Just a quick note about the Ko-Fi page for this podcast.
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So if you enjoy the podcast, if you like hearing me talking about writing, if you enjoy the show, the best way to show it is to support the podcast through Ko-Fi.
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You can really pledge any number you want.
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There are some levels of membership that start at$3 Canadian per month.
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But like if you want to pledge only$1 per month, it's perfect.
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It's in fact, it's quite amazing.
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Even if you just want to pledge like$1 a month, it's not like cheap.
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It really means a lot because it all adds up and it's a way to show me how you care about the podcast.
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And if you have the space, or you can do just a one-time donation, also, if if you want to show your support.
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As I'm working to make this my livelihood and be full-time forever, this is just a way to support that.
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And as well, like if you like having podcasts every week, then me keep on being full-time will mean you keep on getting podcasts every week.
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So just go in the show notes if that's something you'd like to do.
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I will put the link there.
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And now for the topic part of the episodes.
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So, as I said in the beginning, for the vast majority of my life as a writer, and even before this 15 years period where I was writing really professionally, and it started with my certificate in creative writing that I did at Laval University.
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But before that, I've been writing since I was 16, so 20 years now.
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And at first, when I started writing, I started sharing my writing because I always wanted to share my writing.
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And the first person I ever shared, it was Lynn.
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She was an amazing human being, bless her soul, and she was really nice.
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She gave me the perfect feedback, highlighting my strength, but also telling me what I could improve.
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But after that, I started sharing it with everyone and everyone.
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And what that does is I got people who were really mean with their feedback.
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So for years after that, I wasn't sharing it much until I went into my certificate in creative writing.
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And like I said, I cried the first time.
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I had a real hard time during my certificate, even though we were always providing feedback to one another.
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I had a hard time receiving feedback.
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And that kept on happening, but I kept on seeking feedback because I knew it was important.
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And I think it's when I got to working on the book that got me my agent, especially with my amazing friend Catherine, when we connected on Instagram and we started reading each other's manuscript.
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That's when I really understood the power of getting not only feedback but quality feedback on your work.
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And I I really don't believe, absolutely not.
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I I really I know that I wouldn't have had the success I had in Aquari Trenches if it hadn't been for Catherine helping me that much with my book.
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And from that point on, but throughout, and also I participated in a workshop with the amazing Abigail Perry.
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You can go and check her out, she's an editor.
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I highly recommend.
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If you're looking for an editor, highly recommend Abigail K.
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Perry and Catherine also, Katherine Iris.
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I will link her stuff.
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She's also an editor that you can hire to work on your book.
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I highly recommend both of them.
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But working with Abigail and that workshop, made some amazing friends, Jennifer, most of it.
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And so they started give me feedback as well.
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And from now on, I developed friendship where I was sharing my work, giving Feedback and receiving feedback, even though I was really always asking for it, welcoming it, wanting it, every single time, maybe not every single time, but there is there is some particular moment where I remember receiving feedback from those people who I respect so much, and the feedback was always super kind.
00:22:25.039 --> 00:22:35.519
I just want to emphasize this like it was never any of my friends' fault, it was never Catherine's fault, it was always full on red on me.
00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:42.559
But sometimes I would receive feedback and I would either cry a lot, get super despaired.
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:45.279
You know that moment in La La Len?
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:55.119
If you haven't seen, I really recommend, but you know that moment in La La Len where she says, Maybe I'm just not good enough, and maybe it hurts too much to keep on trying if I'm not good enough?
00:22:55.359 --> 00:23:00.480
That moment, a lot of the times when I was receiving feedback, that was what I was feeling.
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:08.960
And I think in back in January, I worked on the short story for the Overlook Anthology.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.759
I asked for feedback from my friends, and the feedback hurt so much.
00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:25.279
And then my novel, I made it read, and again, like the feedback hurts so much at first, all of that at first, in every time, like, oh, it was so painful.
00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:32.480
But because it had been that way for so long, I just assumed and thought this is normal to feel this way when you get feedback.
00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:34.000
It's just part of the deal.
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:45.519
It makes you spiral, you take a little a breaker, you take some time to breathe, and then you come back to yourself and you make like, okay, let me try to do something with this.
00:23:45.680 --> 00:24:07.440
Like, I had sort of assumed that it was just the way that it was, and I've had heard published authors, many of them, saying that when they get their edit letters from their editor, when they have a book deal, that they read it and they let themselves spiral, and then they come back out of it, and then they do the edits.
00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:10.799
So I was like, this is just part of it, this is just normal.
00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:16.079
But from January, I cannot say exactly what was the thing.
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:20.240
Again, like it's a multiple factor, but I worked a lot on my self-esteem.
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:25.920
I worked a lot on my confidence in myself in general in my life, but especially in my writing.
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:32.960
I used SciNote, I recorded myself saying 10 reasons why I was good enough to get published.
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:37.680
And I was listening to this while falling asleep for like a few months.
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:45.920
And I'm sure this is part of why the change happened, but this is just one little thing that I did that I think really helped.
00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:52.079
But anyway, I was working actively on developing myself, trust as a writer, my confidence in myself as a writer.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:25:05.519
And this summer I was working on the second draft of my new novel, and I reached a point where I was like, I think I'm ready to share the edited scene of the second draft with my agent and with my better readers.
00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:08.880
And I shared it and they gave me feedback.
00:25:09.119 --> 00:25:21.519
Feedback that was yes, there are some things that works, but there are definitely things that do not work and that you need to work on, again, so beautifully because they are all so amazing and they give feedback in the best way.
00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:24.960
And it did not hurt at all.
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:26.319
At all.
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:33.359
I think there was one email at one point that made a little ugh, and that's all.
00:25:33.759 --> 00:25:36.799
And that's when I was talking about it with Vivian.
00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:47.839
I was like, it's so crazy the difference with before our feedback made me feel, and now that I receive your feedback, I'm like, oh gosh, okay, this didn't work.
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:55.599
Okay, okay, I need to go back for this, but it's then I get excited because I know what to work on to make it better.
00:25:55.839 --> 00:26:03.519
And the feedback feels empowering now, whereas before it was just a proof of my not enoughness in a way.
00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:08.480
And so I felt like the contrast was so big, and like I need to share it.
00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:11.359
I need to share this difference.
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:17.519
I started to think to why before it hurt so much and why right now it doesn't hurt anymore.
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:22.240
And I came up with four reasons why feedback hurts so much.
00:26:22.480 --> 00:26:27.839
That has nothing to do with the actual reality, it's all perceived.
00:26:28.079 --> 00:26:33.680
And it's your way of perceiving yourself, the manuscript, and the feedback that makes it hurt.
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:35.200
It's not the feedback itself.
00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:43.359
Because the feedback was always the same, if not different for different stories, but it was the same person giving the feedback about the same way.
00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:45.279
And my reaction changed so much.
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:48.240
So, what did I change the way I was seeing the feedback?
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:57.279
The feedback hurts when it makes you think and when you believe after reading the feedback that your story isn't good enough.
00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:03.200
When it makes you doubt the story itself, that's when the feedback hurts.
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:08.880
Also, it hurts when it makes you think you're not good enough as a writer.
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:16.480
Either the writer who produced that story or that you're not good enough to make it better with the feedback that you've got.
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:30.480
Also, the feedback hurts when it makes you, which is I think the most valid of all of this, it makes you feel disappointed that you didn't manage to do what you attempt to do.
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:39.599
And I think this is the little that I felt like at the end, a little disappointment of, oh, I tried to do this and it didn't work.
00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:52.240
I think this is the most valid, and on its own, like it's easy to just go past it because when you do trust yourself and you know you're good enough, I'm gonna get into this, but this one doesn't hurt for that long.
00:27:52.480 --> 00:28:02.720
But when it's packed with my story isn't good enough, I'm not good enough, and I didn't manage to do what I tried to do, this is when it hurts particularly bad.
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:12.319
And the last reason, and all of this, you only perceive the pain of having to go back and make your story better.
00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:25.680
You only see this going back to your work as something super painful because again, you thought it was good, you thought it worked, you thought it was a done deal, I can submit it.
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:35.519
And even if on some level you knew that there was like one or two drafts ahead of you before you can submit, we're like that humans, we always want to preserve energy.
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:47.839
You're always hoping somewhere in the back of your mind that this is going to be fabulous, and my better readers, my friends are going to give me just super beautiful feedback.
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:53.200
And when you see that no, it's not there yet, you need to go back, that's painful.
00:28:53.359 --> 00:29:15.599
So when you mix those four things, you think your story isn't good enough and will not work, you think you're not good enough as a writer to make it work, you're disappointed that you didn't manage to do it right the first time, which is completely crazy because there's no such thing as doing right perfectly the first time, especially for a whole freaking novel.
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:18.559
There are so many things that need to work well in a novel.
00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:22.000
That's actually crazy the number of elements that need to work well.
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:26.079
So of course you're not going to get them all right in one go.
00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:28.240
That's just normal, okay?
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:41.599
And then you add to this the pain of having to go back, the perceived pain, of having to go back and make it work on a story that you think doesn't work with skills that you think aren't good enough.
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:47.599
That's what makes it so painful when all of this adds up and puts it together.
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:48.880
So what now?
00:29:49.119 --> 00:29:50.240
What is the solution?
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:52.000
What do you do with that?
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:58.240
Well, it's about knowing that maybe, okay, caveat here.
00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:06.000
I just want to say there might be some stories that will not work on their own.
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:12.000
Maybe a percentage, because there's nothing like infinite in this world.
00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:16.880
So maybe there is a story that, yeah, it's a story problem and you just need to taut it aside.
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:32.640
Although I think it's a really, really smart percentage because I think I'm super woo-woo about stories, and I truly believe that when we have an idea and a story that speaks to us that we really want to dedicate ourselves to, it's because there's something good in that story.
00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:42.559
And so my biggest belief is that when you're invested yourself in a story, it's not the problem of the story itself.
00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:47.759
It's just your execution of that story that's not working at that moment.
00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:48.559
Period.
00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:53.839
Like it's just that you can you can erase that for your from your mind right now, okay?
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:55.359
It's not the story.
00:30:55.680 --> 00:31:00.480
Any story I think can be salvage, can be made into something good.
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:02.480
Like this is where the caveat happens.
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:08.559
So maybe there is some stories that just doesn't does not work at the root.
00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:11.039
But I think this is a really small percentage.
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:12.480
So just trust yourself.
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:22.799
If you've invested yourself in a story, just trust yourself that the story can and will work, and it's just right now your execution didn't make it work, but it's not the fault of the story.
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:25.119
So you can erase that one right away.
00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:27.440
Then I'm not good enough.
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:34.480
Maybe right now, with the skills that you have, you didn't manage to get it right.
00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:35.200
Good.
00:31:35.359 --> 00:31:39.279
So if your skills are lacking, you can improve your skills.
00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:41.759
You can go and you can learn the craft elements.
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:46.960
So if it's a structured problem, get yourself some craft books, some structured book, and learn that.
00:31:47.119 --> 00:31:55.920
If it's your sentence-level writing, then take your favorite book that you think is the best written and analyze how it's written and apply it to your own writing.
00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:05.599
Like your skills are always growing as a writer, and maybe for that draft, maybe your skills were just not up to the point.
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:14.160
It's possible, but you can make it better, and you can execute the story well, but only if you believe that you can.
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:28.720
So if you stop yourself of thinking, like, nah, I'm not good enough and I'll never be good enough, and like there's no point, that's where it becomes so painful when you tie the feedback to your value as a writer.
00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:30.240
You can make it better.
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:30.960
You can.
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:35.440
And yes, maybe there is some skills you need to develop, but just go and develop them.
00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:39.680
Like there, it's not it's not something that's impossible to do.
00:32:39.839 --> 00:32:45.599
Okay, so that one too, we can just remove from the picture because you can be good enough.
00:32:45.680 --> 00:33:07.759
And that's where like working on my trust in myself and my belief really helped with those two things because I had full trust in my ideas, and I still have full trust in myself that I could make the story work, that I was good enough, and that the skills that I didn't not had right now, or that I hadn't managed to put on the page, I could do it.
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:12.960
You need to have that trust in yourself, and that's what makes feedback less painful.
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:18.559
The disappointment of not having it where you thought you'd be, or that you didn't manage to do what you get to do.
00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:33.839
Like I said, I think this is the part that's just the the most valid, normal, and like I think inevitable with any feedback that you're going to get, there will always be like a little bit of disappointment that, ah, that I didn't manage to do.
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:35.279
And sometimes you don't have it.
00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:44.720
Like when in the back of your mind you knew that something wasn't working, you might be like, Oh, okay, no, well, I I knew this wasn't working, so you will not feel that disappointment.
00:33:44.960 --> 00:34:06.720
But when you thought you did something right and someone says, Oh, I really don't understand what that character is doing there, and for you it's super clear, like, of course she did that because of this, this, and that, but you didn't put it in the manuscript, then like of course it's disappointed to be like, oh, that was clear to me, but I didn't put it in a manuscript, so now I need to go back and do it.
00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:16.400
So that disappointment is valid, but I think when you remove all the other elements, like the the three others, this one actually doesn't last that long.
00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:20.320
And now the last one, the perceived pain of having to go back.
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:22.719
We're writers, we love writing.
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:27.280
And once this book is finished, we're going to write another one.
00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:30.880
So we'll always be working on something.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:45.280
And actually going back to a manuscript with feedback in hand, with a plan, with knowing what to do to make it work, I would argue, or I would argue that's actually the most fun part.
00:34:45.519 --> 00:35:05.760
Like, I love it so much when somebody tells me something, okay, this, I don't understand this, and I'm thinking about it, and I'm letting simmer in the back of my mind, and then boom, the solution comes, and I'm like, oh wait, I need to add this in that scene, and then it will make it clear.
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:16.320
Like, there's no better feeling than resolving a problem in your manuscript when there's no better feeling than something that wasn't working that you make it work.
00:35:16.559 --> 00:35:24.719
So that's why I said perceived pain, because I really truly believe that the pain of going back doesn't have to be pain.
00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:27.760
You're going to go back to writing either way.
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:34.159
So why not give it your all to this story that you're working on right now?
00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:43.679
And you have the privilege of having feedback, of knowing what to do to make it better, to knowing what doesn't work, and then you can work on that.
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:46.880
So proudly go and and work on it.
00:35:47.119 --> 00:36:09.280
And I think also, this is for another episode about patience that I think I should record, but it's when we want to go too fast and we want to get this out, get this submitted, move to the next thing, and that's when this pain of having to go back is the worst because we're so eager to jump in the query trenches.
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:13.360
We're so eager to submit that story to that magazine.
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:21.840
And I think sometimes this eagerness can work against us if it prevents us from writing the best story that we possibly can.
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:33.280
So that's why reframing the pain of having to go back with the joy of having to go back and actually make it work, I think will really lower that hurt that you're feeling when you're writing.
00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:41.199
As I mentioned in last episode, if you haven't listened, I turned this podcast into also a substack for the people.
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:44.480
So that's not you, you're here, but maybe it's you, you can go and check.
00:36:44.639 --> 00:36:48.400
But for those who prefer reading to listening to podcasts, I don't get it.
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:50.239
I'm a big fan of podcasts.
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:54.320
Give me podcasts all the way, but there are people who prefer reading.
00:36:54.400 --> 00:37:14.159
So I turned this podcast into a substack, and at the end, behind a paywall, I'm putting actionable steps and journey prompts to help you implement what I talked in the episode into really step-by-step a process to make you work through why does it hurt so much for you to get feedback and how you can reframe it.
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:32.239
So, of course, I talked about it in the episode, but if you want to go deeper and if you want to have clear journey prompts that you can work on, think about to really implement in your writing, if you really want to clear out once and for all, maybe not for all, because sometimes you know things happen and they shake us up.
00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:46.960
But if you want to have a plan for how to shake this up and how to remove the hurt of the feedback from your life so that you can receive feedback with joy and positivity and go back to your work empowered, go into the Substack, subscribe.
00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:59.519
It's$5 Canadian dollars or for you in the US, or I don't know the conversion in Japan, but it's even lower, of course, because Canadian money doesn't, you know, isn't that high.
00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:02.000
So it's even lower than five dollars for you.
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:16.960
This is the amount you get to pay, and you have access to not only this episode, the actionable step and the journaling prompt to integrate this into your life, but also of past and future episodes, you will have access to the actionable step and journaling prompts.
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:53.679
So if that's something that interests you, you can go right now in the show notes, click on the link to Lefty Obe's writing substack, and find the post that has the same title, white feedback earth so much, scroll back to the bottom, and you will find the steps for you to implement this and for you to be able to finally feel good about feedback, because feedback is so important, and feedback will help you to get so much better as a writer, create so much better stories as a result, and then have so much success further in your writing career.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:56.719
So I hope you enjoyed the episode this week.
00:38:56.880 --> 00:38:59.840
I'm so happy to be back every week.
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.800
Like, I have a list of topics that I can't wait to cover.
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:12.239
If you have some topics that you'd like me to cover too, don't hesitate to DM me, write me, let me know what you would like me to talk about.
00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:14.000
I just love doing that podcast.
00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:15.360
I think you can see it.
00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:20.880
And also, if you enjoy the podcast, please rate, review, and subscribe to it.
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:26.079
It really helps all the platforms to show the podcast to more readers.
00:39:26.159 --> 00:39:26.960
It really helps me.
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:29.039
And it's been some time since I had a review.
00:39:29.119 --> 00:39:33.360
I would love to have like a good, beautiful review.
00:39:33.519 --> 00:39:38.480
So if you want to make my day, you can go and leave a review for the podcast.
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:40.480
Thank you so much for being here.
00:39:40.639 --> 00:39:45.519
I'm going to wish you a lovely week of writing, and we'll see each other next week.
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:11.039
Welcome to Leftyobase Writing Podcast where I share with vulnerability and positivity my journey towards making all of my writing dreams come true.
00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:16.719
I hope you learn with me as I go from the things that go well and what doesn't go so well.
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:22.160
But mainly I wish it inspires you to pursue your own writing dreams.
00:00:22.399 --> 00:00:23.920
Now let's begin.
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Hello and welcome to Lefty Obeys Writing Podcast.
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I'm so happy that you're here with me today.
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:37.280
So first, forgive me if you're watching the video.
00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:40.399
Last week the video quality was really not there.
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I tried to do something because when I'm sharing on social media, like the visual is not the best.
00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:54.079
So I tried something and it made it worse, which meant I could not use any clips from last week to post on social media.
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So lesson learned.
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Do not try to reinvent the wheel.
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This format is perfect.
00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:06.079
So if you watch the video, if you enjoy watching the video, the visual will be better this week.
00:01:06.400 --> 00:01:12.239
Also, I figured out because thank you, BuzzProud, this is the platform I'm using for podcasting.
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:19.120
Now it's like one click and it posts to YouTube and it also posts to Spotify, the video format.
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:24.560
So Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube, the three biggest platforms for video podcasts.
00:01:24.719 --> 00:01:27.280
Now my podcast is available on all of those.
00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:30.480
So if you enjoy YouTube, you can go and listen there.
00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:33.760
And if you are on Spotify right now, you can check out the video.
00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:37.920
Or of course, if you are on Apple Podcasts, it was already available there.
00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:40.159
So you can go and watch the video version.
00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:43.680
By the way, if you have a podcast, I really recommend Buzz Sprout.
00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:46.000
They are a really great platform.
00:01:46.239 --> 00:01:52.319
And I have in the links in my show notes a little discount for you to use if you lose my affiliate link.
00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:54.159
So you can go and check that out too.
00:01:54.480 --> 00:02:00.000
Before I get into this week's episode, I just saw something in the stats of the podcast.
00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:07.519
The second biggest country where the podcast is being listened to, the first one being the United States, which makes sense because this is in English.
00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:09.520
But the second one is Japan.
00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:12.960
And I was like, wow, how amazing is this?
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Thank you, internet.
00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:17.919
Thank you, social media and podcast and everything.
00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:21.599
That my words can reach like all the way to Japan.
00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:25.919
So I just wanted to make a little shout out to my Japanese listener.
00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:34.080
You can go and add a comment either on social media, you can DM me, or if you're listening on Spotify, there is a comment option there.
00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:35.840
Anyway that you see.
00:02:47.599 --> 00:02:52.159
So anyway, if you are a Japanese listener and you enjoy the podcast, please let me know.
00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:54.400
I would just love to know who you are.
00:02:54.479 --> 00:03:03.520
But I I got really excited when I saw that the podcast was listened to so much in Japan because it seems to be such a beautiful country.
00:03:03.680 --> 00:03:09.120
And just a side note for me like I would love one day to speak like four languages.
00:03:09.360 --> 00:03:17.439
And the language I'm working on right now is Italian, so French, English, I'm working on Italian, and I would love to learn Japanese after that.
00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:23.439
It's just such a beautiful language, and I feel like I'm gonna love the country when I go one day.
00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:28.639
So anyway, I just wanted to make a little shout out, especially for you.
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:37.280
But the topic of this week's episode is why do feedback hurt so much and what you can do about it.
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So this topic was inspired by a conversation I had with my amazing friend Vivian, and where I it came when I realized that feedback didn't hurt anymore, and I could see the contrast with before when it hurt so freaking bad.
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And I I was telling Vivian what I think is the shift in me that allowed me to now see feedback super positively when as before it was hurting so much.
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And I just wanted to share that with all of you because I think as a writer, the best and most effective way to learn and to grow and to develop our craft is to have feedback.
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And submitting to magazine isn't gonna give you feedback.
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Submitting to Literary Agent, although we would love for them, and sometimes they do, they do give feedback.
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This is not the way to get feedback, to get really actionable feedback.
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So the way is to develop friendship with other writers, with other writers who have owned their craft, and to exchange your work with them, and you get feedback from them and you give them feedback, which also helps you to develop your craft.
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And that's the way that you'll get better and that your book will have such a bigger chance of having success, like anywhere you plan to send it.
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So I'm a big believer that receiving feedback on your writing is absolutely essential.
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But for the feedback to be useful to you, you need to be able to take it the right way.
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And this is something that took me so long, even though I've received feedback on my writing for when I did my certificate in creative writing was the first time I got feedback on my writing, and I cried home the first time I got back from that creative group.
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So it's been exactly 15 years that I've started to get feedback on my writing, and I think for 14 years receiving feedback on my writing was hard.
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And now, genuinely, like I'm always so freaking excited and happy and seeing the feedback as something positive.
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I'm not saying it's always fun because sometimes it's like, oh okay, man, I didn't manage to do that right, but I can always see it positively now, and it feels so much better.
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So it's going to be the topic of this episode.
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And if you're struggling with feedback or if you haven't even asked for feedback because you're afraid of that, this is going to be the perfect podcast episode for you.
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But first, update because if you listen to the previous episode, I was so much like in the woo-woo happiness about my news of full-time writing.
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I didn't do any update from the last episode that I recorded with an update.
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So this is the update with like fully updated.
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So I sold a short story and it got published.
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Not sold because I wasn't paid, but it got published in between like the last episode where I did an update and now.
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So I was hinting at that in the last episode.
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Um, not the last, but the one before.
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I hinted at that with the RR, and the RR turned into publication.
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I will put the link in the show notes if you want to go read.
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It's called If We Go, We Don't Come Back.
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It's a horror short story, pretty quick read, and I just love this story.
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It's a ghost post-apocalyptic story, where like instead of being like zombies who created the apocalypse, it's ghosts that appeared everywhere and started to hunt their loved ones, making them so depressed that the most of the population of the planet and their own life because they couldn't deal with it.
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And our main character is living in this world, and she's never loved anyone except her foster sister, and so like they are immune to the ghost because there is no ghost of their loved one, and of course, in the first scene, our foster sister died, and then she will have to deal with what would she do when her ghost do come back, even though they promised so many times that if they go, they would not come back.
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So I really, really love that story.
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If you were ever curious about what I write, like you know, you hear me talking about my writing, and you were curious to see, okay, what does she write?
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I think this story is a good way for you to be introduced to my writing.
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Caveat, like it's a story I wrote uh years and years ago, so it doesn't represent fully the writer that I am on a craft level.
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Like I think my craft has improved since writing that story, but I still believe this is a story that represents me a lot in terms of it's paranormal, it's horror, there's a mental health element to it.
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It's really a story that makes you feel hopeful, even though like it's bad in the middle.
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I really believe this is a story that represents my writing beautifully.
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And so if you are ever curious and want to see it, just go and in the link in the show notes and go read it.
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And if you do read it and you enjoy it, please go over on social media or write me an email.
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I will put my email address also in the show notes.
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I would just love to know how people are feeling about this story because I know some people read it, but I haven't had any response back, which is okay.
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But it would just be fun to know what people think about the story.
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So if you do feel inclined, you can tell me how you feel about the story.
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So that was my my uh big, big update since the last time.
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Also, there is another short story that it's a flash fiction that I wrote back in spring when my life was so crazy and I was completely overwhelmed.
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I wrote that flash fiction based on that feeling inside of me.
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And I really love this one.
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And it's one of the flash fiction that I made my two friend who reads everything that I write, Catherine and Vivian.
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They have read me for so long, and it was the first time they had such a strong reaction of wow, this is so good.
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So I'm really proud of that story, that little flash fiction.
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I've submitted to I don't remember how many magazines at that point, but right now it's actually pending at three magazines, and it's been pending for more than a hundred days.
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Which, if you're ever submitting your short stories to magazines, you know that the longer it takes, usually the the it's a good sign.
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The rejection comes really fast, and the acceptance takes a long time to get there.
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And it's been pending at three markets for a long time.
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And I can see on Submission Grinder, the website that I use to find markets and also to track my submission, I can see that they have rejected stories after me.
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So I'm thinking I'm on a maybe pile for those three magazines, which is pretty cool.
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And these are all paying magazines.
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So I'm hoping that in the next week I will be announcing something positive around that story.
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But I'm just rejoicing in the fun of they haven't rejected it yet, and so maybe it's a maybe and maybe it turns into a yes.
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So we'll see with that.
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Also, I've been working, this is something I haven't told much about, but since I'm always reading middle grade books in French with my daughter every evening because, like part of her schooling, I do that with her.
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So I've been immersed a lot in middle grade fiction with my daughter, and there is a big market of middle grade fiction in Quebec.
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And when I went to the book fair back in spring, I was meeting with some friends, some connection that I have.
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I was going to see them at the book fair, and they both said, like, there is really a big market.
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You should try to get into the market of middle grade books for kids in French in Quebec.
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And so one of them even introduced me to his editor who invited me to submit them a story.
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And so things have been so busy since spring that I didn't have time to really invest myself in that story.
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But I have started working more intensely on this story.
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I think I'm gonna be done by the end of the week with the first draft.
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It's a horror novel, it's about aliens, and I I just love it so much, and I'm gonna test it out with my daughter as soon as it's finished.
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But I'm having fun working on that story, and you know, it could be another opportunity for me to make this full-time permanent with writing for kids, but also there's a beautiful opportunity in Quebec as a writer of fiction for kids to go in schools and to talk to children's in schools, and it could be like it could really support financially a writer, and I just love talking about writing.
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Oh, of course, you know.
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I went to talk to my daughter's schools to talk about my writing, and I really, really enjoyed it.
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So that could be something also that I love to do.
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So I'm trying to open up that market for myself.
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So we'll see where that leads us.
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And last thing, of course, I've been working on my novel.
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So the second novel, the second one I'm working with with my agent to get it ready for submission to editors.
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It's been going great, it's been going even better since now uh I can finally dedicate a lot of time every single day to it.
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At first, I was submitting it to my lovely friends who are helping me, reading that manuscript, giving me feedback on it, and also to my agent.
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But as I saw that first, my friend gives me phenomenal feedback on the novel, and they give it fairly quickly.
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So I'm like, I think I need to, I realized that I needed to do another draft by myself with my friends before my agent got to it, so that I preserve our time and also that she gets to give me feedback on the best manuscript I can possibly give her.
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And because now I have lots of time to dedicate to this book, it didn't feel like it would stretch the timeline too much of going into submission.
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So I proposed that to my agent, and she was like, Yes, absolutely, do let's do it this way.
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So this is what we're doing now, and in a way, like it freed me up because I was like, Okay, no, I can go back, and there is so many things I want to change to make it even better, and now I feel like I I can.
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So, just taking this opportunity to say thank you to my wonderful friends who are helping me, but I'm so excited about my novel and where it's going.
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And I'm reading the middle build right now, and I got into a point where from the middle point to the end, this is all the scenes that work the best because I was really in a flow knowing where I was going with the manuscript, and this is the most fun part to me from the middle point to the end, and I was reading them and I was like, okay, yeah, like I can see what this book is going to be, and I had so many insights and ideas of what I can do to make the beginning match this part and to make it all work so much and make sure everything fits together and everything makes sense and there's conflict throughout.
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And I worked on my character's motivation.
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This is what you can see behind me on the wall.
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I'm a big fan of post-its on the wall to detach myself from the computer and allow me to see like the forest for the trees, and I have another wall next to me.
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If you go on my Instagram, I've posted that wall too.
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But that one back there is for my character's motivation, and I realized that I had some key characters that I did not know where the motivation were.
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And when I nailed it down and I saw it was creating conflict with the motivation of the other character, that's when like everything clicked.
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And I'm actually pretty proud of myself for that because in my previous book, although I love it absolutely.
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So the book that got me my agent, there was one thing that I thought could work better with that book, and it was all the supporting characters did not have really an arc of their own.
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They did not really have their own full life outside of my main character and the main storyline happening.
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And this was something that was bothering me, but at the same time, because this novel was a mother in our house alone all the time, it felt so intimate to that character that it sort of makes sense also that we don't really see the life of the characters around it.
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But I could feel like this was maybe the least strong part of that novel was the fact that the supporting cast did not really have a life of their own.
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So, in the back of my mind, I was like, with the next book, I really want to make sure that every single character, you can see that they have their own life and their own thing going on.
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And I think it goes to having their own motivation and everything they do in the book being linked to that motivation.
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So that's what I did back there.
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And I actually didn't consciously build my book this way, but I'm just happy to see that with this book, it's not going to be a low point.
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Actually, I think it's going to be a strong point of this novel.
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The fact that every single character, even if they are just the supporting cast, they do have their motivation and they do have their own things going on in their life that's all being connected through the haunted house, of course, which is the main star of the novel.
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So as you can see, I'm having a lot of fun with it, and I really do believe this novel is fantastic and will be in its final form.
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There was still, which I could see with my friends, there were still a lot of things that I needed to refine and deepen and really make work, especially in the beginning.
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But I think we're getting there closer and closer with every draft, and it's just amazing that I finally, finally have the time to work on all of this.
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So sorry for a little bit longer update because we had lots to cover.
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So these are all with my updates.
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Just a quick note about the Ko-Fi page for this podcast.
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So if you enjoy the podcast, if you like hearing me talking about writing, if you enjoy the show, the best way to show it is to support the podcast through Ko-Fi.
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You can really pledge any number you want.
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There are some levels of membership that start at$3 Canadian per month.
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But like if you want to pledge only$1 per month, it's perfect.
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It's in fact, it's quite amazing.
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Even if you just want to pledge like$1 a month, it's not like cheap.
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It really means a lot because it all adds up and it's a way to show me how you care about the podcast.
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And if you have the space, or you can do just a one-time donation, also, if if you want to show your support.
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As I'm working to make this my livelihood and be full-time forever, this is just a way to support that.
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And as well, like if you like having podcasts every week, then me keep on being full-time will mean you keep on getting podcasts every week.
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So just go in the show notes if that's something you'd like to do.
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I will put the link there.
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And now for the topic part of the episodes.
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So, as I said in the beginning, for the vast majority of my life as a writer, and even before this 15 years period where I was writing really professionally, and it started with my certificate in creative writing that I did at Laval University.
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But before that, I've been writing since I was 16, so 20 years now.
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And at first, when I started writing, I started sharing my writing because I always wanted to share my writing.
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And the first person I ever shared, it was Lynn.
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She was an amazing human being, bless her soul, and she was really nice.
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She gave me the perfect feedback, highlighting my strength, but also telling me what I could improve.
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But after that, I started sharing it with everyone and everyone.
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And what that does is I got people who were really mean with their feedback.
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So for years after that, I wasn't sharing it much until I went into my certificate in creative writing.
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And like I said, I cried the first time.
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I had a real hard time during my certificate, even though we were always providing feedback to one another.
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I had a hard time receiving feedback.
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And that kept on happening, but I kept on seeking feedback because I knew it was important.
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And I think it's when I got to working on the book that got me my agent, especially with my amazing friend Catherine, when we connected on Instagram and we started reading each other's manuscript.
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That's when I really understood the power of getting not only feedback but quality feedback on your work.
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And I I really don't believe, absolutely not.
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I I really I know that I wouldn't have had the success I had in Aquari Trenches if it hadn't been for Catherine helping me that much with my book.
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And from that point on, but throughout, and also I participated in a workshop with the amazing Abigail Perry.
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You can go and check her out, she's an editor.
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I highly recommend.
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If you're looking for an editor, highly recommend Abigail K.
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Perry and Catherine also, Katherine Iris.
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I will link her stuff.
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She's also an editor that you can hire to work on your book.
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I highly recommend both of them.
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But working with Abigail and that workshop, made some amazing friends, Jennifer, most of it.
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And so they started give me feedback as well.
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And from now on, I developed friendship where I was sharing my work, giving Feedback and receiving feedback, even though I was really always asking for it, welcoming it, wanting it, every single time, maybe not every single time, but there is there is some particular moment where I remember receiving feedback from those people who I respect so much, and the feedback was always super kind.
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I just want to emphasize this like it was never any of my friends' fault, it was never Catherine's fault, it was always full on red on me.
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But sometimes I would receive feedback and I would either cry a lot, get super despaired.
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You know that moment in La La Len?
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If you haven't seen, I really recommend, but you know that moment in La La Len where she says, Maybe I'm just not good enough, and maybe it hurts too much to keep on trying if I'm not good enough?
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That moment, a lot of the times when I was receiving feedback, that was what I was feeling.
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And I think in back in January, I worked on the short story for the Overlook Anthology.
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I asked for feedback from my friends, and the feedback hurt so much.
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And then my novel, I made it read, and again, like the feedback hurts so much at first, all of that at first, in every time, like, oh, it was so painful.
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But because it had been that way for so long, I just assumed and thought this is normal to feel this way when you get feedback.
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It's just part of the deal.
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It makes you spiral, you take a little a breaker, you take some time to breathe, and then you come back to yourself and you make like, okay, let me try to do something with this.
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Like, I had sort of assumed that it was just the way that it was, and I've had heard published authors, many of them, saying that when they get their edit letters from their editor, when they have a book deal, that they read it and they let themselves spiral, and then they come back out of it, and then they do the edits.
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So I was like, this is just part of it, this is just normal.
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But from January, I cannot say exactly what was the thing.
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Again, like it's a multiple factor, but I worked a lot on my self-esteem.
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I worked a lot on my confidence in myself in general in my life, but especially in my writing.
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I used SciNote, I recorded myself saying 10 reasons why I was good enough to get published.
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And I was listening to this while falling asleep for like a few months.
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And I'm sure this is part of why the change happened, but this is just one little thing that I did that I think really helped.
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But anyway, I was working actively on developing myself, trust as a writer, my confidence in myself as a writer.
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And this summer I was working on the second draft of my new novel, and I reached a point where I was like, I think I'm ready to share the edited scene of the second draft with my agent and with my better readers.
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And I shared it and they gave me feedback.
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Feedback that was yes, there are some things that works, but there are definitely things that do not work and that you need to work on, again, so beautifully because they are all so amazing and they give feedback in the best way.
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And it did not hurt at all.
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At all.
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I think there was one email at one point that made a little ugh, and that's all.
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And that's when I was talking about it with Vivian.
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I was like, it's so crazy the difference with before our feedback made me feel, and now that I receive your feedback, I'm like, oh gosh, okay, this didn't work.
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Okay, okay, I need to go back for this, but it's then I get excited because I know what to work on to make it better.
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And the feedback feels empowering now, whereas before it was just a proof of my not enoughness in a way.
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And so I felt like the contrast was so big, and like I need to share it.
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I need to share this difference.
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I started to think to why before it hurt so much and why right now it doesn't hurt anymore.
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:22.240
And I came up with four reasons why feedback hurts so much.
00:26:22.480 --> 00:26:27.839
That has nothing to do with the actual reality, it's all perceived.
00:26:28.079 --> 00:26:33.680
And it's your way of perceiving yourself, the manuscript, and the feedback that makes it hurt.
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:35.200
It's not the feedback itself.
00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:43.359
Because the feedback was always the same, if not different for different stories, but it was the same person giving the feedback about the same way.
00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:45.279
And my reaction changed so much.
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:48.240
So, what did I change the way I was seeing the feedback?
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The feedback hurts when it makes you think and when you believe after reading the feedback that your story isn't good enough.
00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:03.200
When it makes you doubt the story itself, that's when the feedback hurts.
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:08.880
Also, it hurts when it makes you think you're not good enough as a writer.
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:16.480
Either the writer who produced that story or that you're not good enough to make it better with the feedback that you've got.
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:30.480
Also, the feedback hurts when it makes you, which is I think the most valid of all of this, it makes you feel disappointed that you didn't manage to do what you attempt to do.
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:39.599
And I think this is the little that I felt like at the end, a little disappointment of, oh, I tried to do this and it didn't work.
00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:52.240
I think this is the most valid, and on its own, like it's easy to just go past it because when you do trust yourself and you know you're good enough, I'm gonna get into this, but this one doesn't hurt for that long.
00:27:52.480 --> 00:28:02.720
But when it's packed with my story isn't good enough, I'm not good enough, and I didn't manage to do what I tried to do, this is when it hurts particularly bad.
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:12.319
And the last reason, and all of this, you only perceive the pain of having to go back and make your story better.
00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:25.680
You only see this going back to your work as something super painful because again, you thought it was good, you thought it worked, you thought it was a done deal, I can submit it.
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:35.519
And even if on some level you knew that there was like one or two drafts ahead of you before you can submit, we're like that humans, we always want to preserve energy.
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:47.839
You're always hoping somewhere in the back of your mind that this is going to be fabulous, and my better readers, my friends are going to give me just super beautiful feedback.
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:53.200
And when you see that no, it's not there yet, you need to go back, that's painful.
00:28:53.359 --> 00:29:15.599
So when you mix those four things, you think your story isn't good enough and will not work, you think you're not good enough as a writer to make it work, you're disappointed that you didn't manage to do it right the first time, which is completely crazy because there's no such thing as doing right perfectly the first time, especially for a whole freaking novel.
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:18.559
There are so many things that need to work well in a novel.
00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:22.000
That's actually crazy the number of elements that need to work well.
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:26.079
So of course you're not going to get them all right in one go.
00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:28.240
That's just normal, okay?
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:41.599
And then you add to this the pain of having to go back, the perceived pain, of having to go back and make it work on a story that you think doesn't work with skills that you think aren't good enough.
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:47.599
That's what makes it so painful when all of this adds up and puts it together.
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:48.880
So what now?
00:29:49.119 --> 00:29:50.240
What is the solution?
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:52.000
What do you do with that?
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:58.240
Well, it's about knowing that maybe, okay, caveat here.
00:29:58.400 --> 00:30:06.000
I just want to say there might be some stories that will not work on their own.
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:12.000
Maybe a percentage, because there's nothing like infinite in this world.
00:30:12.160 --> 00:30:16.880
So maybe there is a story that, yeah, it's a story problem and you just need to taut it aside.
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:32.640
Although I think it's a really, really smart percentage because I think I'm super woo-woo about stories, and I truly believe that when we have an idea and a story that speaks to us that we really want to dedicate ourselves to, it's because there's something good in that story.
00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:42.559
And so my biggest belief is that when you're invested yourself in a story, it's not the problem of the story itself.
00:30:42.720 --> 00:30:47.759
It's just your execution of that story that's not working at that moment.
00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:48.559
Period.
00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:53.839
Like it's just that you can you can erase that for your from your mind right now, okay?
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:55.359
It's not the story.
00:30:55.680 --> 00:31:00.480
Any story I think can be salvage, can be made into something good.
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:02.480
Like this is where the caveat happens.
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:08.559
So maybe there is some stories that just doesn't does not work at the root.
00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:11.039
But I think this is a really small percentage.
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:12.480
So just trust yourself.
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:22.799
If you've invested yourself in a story, just trust yourself that the story can and will work, and it's just right now your execution didn't make it work, but it's not the fault of the story.
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:25.119
So you can erase that one right away.
00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:27.440
Then I'm not good enough.
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:34.480
Maybe right now, with the skills that you have, you didn't manage to get it right.
00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:35.200
Good.
00:31:35.359 --> 00:31:39.279
So if your skills are lacking, you can improve your skills.
00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:41.759
You can go and you can learn the craft elements.
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:46.960
So if it's a structured problem, get yourself some craft books, some structured book, and learn that.
00:31:47.119 --> 00:31:55.920
If it's your sentence-level writing, then take your favorite book that you think is the best written and analyze how it's written and apply it to your own writing.
00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:05.599
Like your skills are always growing as a writer, and maybe for that draft, maybe your skills were just not up to the point.
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:14.160
It's possible, but you can make it better, and you can execute the story well, but only if you believe that you can.
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:28.720
So if you stop yourself of thinking, like, nah, I'm not good enough and I'll never be good enough, and like there's no point, that's where it becomes so painful when you tie the feedback to your value as a writer.
00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:30.240
You can make it better.
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:30.960
You can.
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:35.440
And yes, maybe there is some skills you need to develop, but just go and develop them.
00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:39.680
Like there, it's not it's not something that's impossible to do.
00:32:39.839 --> 00:32:45.599
Okay, so that one too, we can just remove from the picture because you can be good enough.
00:32:45.680 --> 00:33:07.759
And that's where like working on my trust in myself and my belief really helped with those two things because I had full trust in my ideas, and I still have full trust in myself that I could make the story work, that I was good enough, and that the skills that I didn't not had right now, or that I hadn't managed to put on the page, I could do it.
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:12.960
You need to have that trust in yourself, and that's what makes feedback less painful.
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:18.559
The disappointment of not having it where you thought you'd be, or that you didn't manage to do what you get to do.
00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:33.839
Like I said, I think this is the part that's just the the most valid, normal, and like I think inevitable with any feedback that you're going to get, there will always be like a little bit of disappointment that, ah, that I didn't manage to do.
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:35.279
And sometimes you don't have it.
00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:44.720
Like when in the back of your mind you knew that something wasn't working, you might be like, Oh, okay, no, well, I I knew this wasn't working, so you will not feel that disappointment.
00:33:44.960 --> 00:34:06.720
But when you thought you did something right and someone says, Oh, I really don't understand what that character is doing there, and for you it's super clear, like, of course she did that because of this, this, and that, but you didn't put it in the manuscript, then like of course it's disappointed to be like, oh, that was clear to me, but I didn't put it in a manuscript, so now I need to go back and do it.
00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:16.400
So that disappointment is valid, but I think when you remove all the other elements, like the the three others, this one actually doesn't last that long.
00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:20.320
And now the last one, the perceived pain of having to go back.
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:22.719
We're writers, we love writing.
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:27.280
And once this book is finished, we're going to write another one.
00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:30.880
So we'll always be working on something.
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:45.280
And actually going back to a manuscript with feedback in hand, with a plan, with knowing what to do to make it work, I would argue, or I would argue that's actually the most fun part.
00:34:45.519 --> 00:35:05.760
Like, I love it so much when somebody tells me something, okay, this, I don't understand this, and I'm thinking about it, and I'm letting simmer in the back of my mind, and then boom, the solution comes, and I'm like, oh wait, I need to add this in that scene, and then it will make it clear.
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:16.320
Like, there's no better feeling than resolving a problem in your manuscript when there's no better feeling than something that wasn't working that you make it work.
00:35:16.559 --> 00:35:24.719
So that's why I said perceived pain, because I really truly believe that the pain of going back doesn't have to be pain.
00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:27.760
You're going to go back to writing either way.
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:34.159
So why not give it your all to this story that you're working on right now?
00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:43.679
And you have the privilege of having feedback, of knowing what to do to make it better, to knowing what doesn't work, and then you can work on that.
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:46.880
So proudly go and and work on it.
00:35:47.119 --> 00:36:09.280
And I think also, this is for another episode about patience that I think I should record, but it's when we want to go too fast and we want to get this out, get this submitted, move to the next thing, and that's when this pain of having to go back is the worst because we're so eager to jump in the query trenches.
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:13.360
We're so eager to submit that story to that magazine.
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:21.840
And I think sometimes this eagerness can work against us if it prevents us from writing the best story that we possibly can.
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:33.280
So that's why reframing the pain of having to go back with the joy of having to go back and actually make it work, I think will really lower that hurt that you're feeling when you're writing.
00:36:33.519 --> 00:36:41.199
As I mentioned in last episode, if you haven't listened, I turned this podcast into also a substack for the people.
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:44.480
So that's not you, you're here, but maybe it's you, you can go and check.
00:36:44.639 --> 00:36:48.400
But for those who prefer reading to listening to podcasts, I don't get it.
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:50.239
I'm a big fan of podcasts.
00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:54.320
Give me podcasts all the way, but there are people who prefer reading.
00:36:54.400 --> 00:37:14.159
So I turned this podcast into a substack, and at the end, behind a paywall, I'm putting actionable steps and journey prompts to help you implement what I talked in the episode into really step-by-step a process to make you work through why does it hurt so much for you to get feedback and how you can reframe it.
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:32.239
So, of course, I talked about it in the episode, but if you want to go deeper and if you want to have clear journey prompts that you can work on, think about to really implement in your writing, if you really want to clear out once and for all, maybe not for all, because sometimes you know things happen and they shake us up.
00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:46.960
But if you want to have a plan for how to shake this up and how to remove the hurt of the feedback from your life so that you can receive feedback with joy and positivity and go back to your work empowered, go into the Substack, subscribe.
00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:59.519
It's$5 Canadian dollars or for you in the US, or I don't know the conversion in Japan, but it's even lower, of course, because Canadian money doesn't, you know, isn't that high.
00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:02.000
So it's even lower than five dollars for you.
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:16.960
This is the amount you get to pay, and you have access to not only this episode, the actionable step and the journaling prompt to integrate this into your life, but also of past and future episodes, you will have access to the actionable step and journaling prompts.
00:38:17.039 --> 00:38:53.679
So if that's something that interests you, you can go right now in the show notes, click on the link to Lefty Obe's writing substack, and find the post that has the same title, white feedback earth so much, scroll back to the bottom, and you will find the steps for you to implement this and for you to be able to finally feel good about feedback, because feedback is so important, and feedback will help you to get so much better as a writer, create so much better stories as a result, and then have so much success further in your writing career.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:56.719
So I hope you enjoyed the episode this week.
00:38:56.880 --> 00:38:59.840
I'm so happy to be back every week.
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.800
Like, I have a list of topics that I can't wait to cover.
00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:12.239
If you have some topics that you'd like me to cover too, don't hesitate to DM me, write me, let me know what you would like me to talk about.
00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:14.000
I just love doing that podcast.
00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:15.360
I think you can see it.
00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:20.880
And also, if you enjoy the podcast, please rate, review, and subscribe to it.
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:26.079
It really helps all the platforms to show the podcast to more readers.
00:39:26.159 --> 00:39:26.960
It really helps me.
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:29.039
And it's been some time since I had a review.
00:39:29.119 --> 00:39:33.360
I would love to have like a good, beautiful review.
00:39:33.519 --> 00:39:38.480
So if you want to make my day, you can go and leave a review for the podcast.
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:40.480
Thank you so much for being here.
00:39:40.639 --> 00:39:45.519
I'm going to wish you a lovely week of writing, and we'll see each other next week.
