IGG Extra 8

WEBVTT
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Hello, everyone. And welcome back to another
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IGG Extra. Welcome back. I was going to say,
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I have no idea what day it is, but when you're
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listening to it, I know it'll be a Monday. Yeah,
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because it's always a Monday. So happy Monday.
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Happy Monday. I love these. We get to do a nice
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little update on what's happening in our lives.
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I know, you know, I mean. A wild and crazy update
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on my end. All right, let's hear it. I have become
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intimate with my couch. I love this. I know every
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crevice. I know every corner. I know which cushions
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are sturdier than others. I know the tricks.
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So you must love this couch. I don't actually
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love this couch. This is why you're like, I'm
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into it with you, but I'm over it. I'm ready
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for a new one. I bought this when it was just
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me. And now that's me and Anthony and a dog and
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two cats. There's not enough room. So it's like.
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If Anthony's sitting on his end and I'm on my
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end, my knees have to be up. Like I can't fully
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extend them. Sometimes you just want to stretch
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out. That's really frustrating. When I'm alone,
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there's enough room. So it really is a one -person
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couch. Basically. Well, like a one -person and a Rena.
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That's the intent. That's what I bought it for.
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A plus one and a dog. Yeah, so I really... After
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that last hospital stint, I've taken the doctor's
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orders, literally. She was like, it's just not
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worth it anymore. We've already established this
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is a bummer of 26 for me. So I just haven't done
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anything. And I rested and no, guess what? No
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fevers. Yes, because you are really just listening
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to your body. Even though it is frustrating,
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but you got to do it. I got to get to this finish
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line, guys, which is... Coming up fast. Room,
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you are literally, like, I could cry. You are,
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you have one left. One left. You have one left.
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It's crazy. Like, and I know there's a lot to
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come after that, but the fact that I have made
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it through chemo is, like, oh, my gosh. I don't
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know how I've done it. I don't know either. So
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let's remind everybody. You started in March,
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and you did 12. March 31st. I did 12 rounds.
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12 rounds of. taxol and carboplatin. And now
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I've done three so far of AC chemo and I have
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one more left. That's it. One more left. And
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then we're going to blow the horns, ring the
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bell. I'm doing it all. Thanks. I must be doing
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around that day. I'm doing some. Yes. I cannot
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wait. And I know. I still have to go through
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the process. Like I keep forgetting that. It's
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not like chemo and done. I still have to have
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the three weeks of side effects. Right. And then
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surgery. Then surgery. Right, right. So you do
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have, but this is like a milestone moment and
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then still more of a journey to go. Yeah, huge.
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So you have this big surgery coming up and it's
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September... 23rd. 23rd. And I know we just shared
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on the podcast page just some things that you're
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going to need for surgery too, right? Yeah, yes.
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So if you are... If you're looking, I know so
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many people are always asking, how can I help
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Stef? What can I do? What does she need now?
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You do have. On our Facebook, I posted my like
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Amazon wishlist and all stuff to get me through
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surgery. Yes. Yes. So it's out there if anyone,
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because people are always asking me. I'm like,
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um, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. And if all else
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fails, guys, Amazon gift cards are the way to
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go. I only read on. On my Kindle, so. Right,
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right, right. And I am reading. You are reading
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your heart out. Our friend, well, when we get
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to that part, man, I have a great new book that
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our friend Taryn recommended. Oh, okay. All right.
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Before we get to that. Yes. You have some updates
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for us. Yeah, I have some updates. So this has
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been a really hard week, guys. Do you want me
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to start it off with the phone call I got last
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Sunday? Yeah. Why don't we start with that? So
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last Sunday, Lauren called me and she's like,
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something's wrong with Sean. Like, Sean's weird.
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She's like, he mowed the lawn and then he disappeared.
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And when I checked on him, he was like laying
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on the bathroom floor and his feet were white.
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And, you know, we both were concerned at that
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point. I'm like, you got to get him to urgent
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care. Some time passed and you called me and
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they said things were getting worse. You finally
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convinced him to go. And so I went. to pick up
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Connor. Yes. And at that point, I didn't know
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anything ever, but I was just grabbing Connor.
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Right, right. So it's like one of those moments
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where, you know, you see your significant other
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just getting sick, right? Like he's vomiting
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and I'm like, okay, stomach bug. And then I'm
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thinking, oh God, it's going to spread through
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the house. I know, I was like, is he in Taco
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Bell? Is it that, whatever, what's happening?
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And it was one of those where I'm like, God,
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I got to tell you, Sean never throws up. No,
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I was going to say, I've never heard you say
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Sean's throwing up. Never, never. I mean, back
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in the day, we were all vomiting when we were
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like hungover and drunk, but like that was years
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and years and years ago. Like he just doesn't
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vomit like that. So that was weird. And then,
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you know, it was just like, it was just like
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a beautiful Sunday and we were, he was mowing
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the lawn. I'm out gardening. Connor had a friend
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coming over. It was just like, we were going
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to see Spider -Man that night. And it was just
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like a normal, and then he texted me from upstairs
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and I was outside and he's like, I think we're
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going to have to cancel the movie. I'm puking
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my brains out right now. I'm like, oh God. So
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it happened. I feel like it started happening
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fast. He was puking. I'm like, all right, bug.
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But then when I came upstairs, he just wasn't
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right. There were so many things. When you told
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me his feet were white. Right. His feet were
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like spotty white. It didn't look right. He kept
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saying I'm in so much pain. I'm like, well, where's
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your pain? He's like, I just don't feel good.
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I'm like, what? And then at one point he's like,
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then he was like really hot. Then he's in the
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shower. He's got the water running on him. He's
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laying on the shower floor. Like he's just not.
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And then he was in bed. For any of you that know
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Sean, he does not want help. He just wants to
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like recover on his own and do his thing. And
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he started having left shoulder pain. And as
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soon as he said that... You called me and I was
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like, um, Lauren. He has to go. Then I called
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my Aunt Cathy and I was like... Because she's
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a nurse. And I'm like, this is what's going on.
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And she's like, Lauren, you take him. You take
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him. She's like, what's the worst they're going
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to do? Send you home because you have a stomach
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bug. So there was a little bit of, Sean did not
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want to go. He's a little bit of a little stubborn.
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Stubborn Irish man. A little stubborn. But I
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knew, you know, when you have that gut feeling,
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I just had that gut feeling. Hence why I kept
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calling you because I had a feeling I was going
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to need your help with Connor. And the left shoulder
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pain, I gave him ibuprofen. Eventually I was
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like, we're going to urgent care. So after a
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bit of... arguments got him in the car got him
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there and we are in there and they do immediately
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they do his blood pressure it's through the roof
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yeah and then they put on the heart monitors
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yeah and they did an EKG and you know it's it's
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like comical at the same time it's like heartbreaking
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but like They came in and they like read you
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the thing and they're like, I just want to let
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you know that he's having a heart attack. Like
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the way they deliver it. Is that that calmly?
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Yes. And you know what? My sister -in -law, Jen,
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and I were talking about it that they did the
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kind of the same thing when my niece, Kendall,
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needed surgery. She broke her arm and it was
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like. going to like hit some artery, blood vessel
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or something. And it was really urgent, but I
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think they must be trained. I don't know any
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of you medical professionals out there. You must
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be trained to deliver information in such a way
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that doesn't, you know, exasperate the situation.
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Oh yeah. I just want to let you know it's positive.
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You have cancer. Right. Right. So it was just,
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so she says that and we're like, okay. She's
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like, so we're going to have to get him to the
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emergency room. Do we have consent to call an
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ambulance? I'm like, yes, call the ambulance,
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call the ambulance. So then, then all of a sudden
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I'm like, okay, you just are in like go mode.
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You called me and you were like, Sean is having
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a heart attack. He's, the ambulance is coming.
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I'm riding behind. And I was like, okay, like.
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Don't worry about Connor. Right. Because at this
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point, Connor just knew we were going to the
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doctor. So. We're like waiting, waiting for the
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ambulance to come because there's wait time.
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You know, the ambulance has to come. So Sean's
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like, you tell me I'm having a heart attack and
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then I'm just sitting here with an IV waiting.
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But thank God we went to urgent care because
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from there, they alerted Strong Memorial Hospital
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that we were on the way so that team could prep
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for him. That ride, like driving, following the
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ambulance, I can't imagine. Right. So it's like,
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you want to go with him because I wanted to be
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with him, but like I had to drive my car. I'm
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like, okay. Logistically, yeah. You and I have
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been through so much and enough. Like I've been
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in so many situations and I've never been on
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this side of the bed. Yeah. And in this way,
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and it is like. Scary. It's just a different
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thing. Like you're like. We're just having a
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normal Sunday. And then he's going in an ambulance
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having a heart attack. And I didn't want to leave
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him because I'm like, what if something happens
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in the ambulance? I know. And by the time you
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got to the hospital, they were paging you. They
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were paging you because... I just want to say
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that Strong, everybody there is amazing. The
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nurses, the staff, everybody. But they're under
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construction. So it was not like an easy situation.
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We get to the hospital and we're there. And I,
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this is kind of comical. We pull in and I, the
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lady who drove the ambulance must have told me
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not to park there. She gave me instructions on
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where to park. But I was just like, I'm trying
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to like look, like remain strong, remain intact,
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like figure things out. You were in shock. I
00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:54.320
was not like thinking about where to park. So
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I pull in right next to the ambulance. She gets
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out. She goes, you cannot park. here. I go, but
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I don't want to, I can't leave. I don't want
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to, I don't want to leave them. And she's like,
00:10:04.440 --> 00:10:06.320
you have to park in the parking garage. And then
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she was like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, okay, I
00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:10.220
got it. I can put, and then just like, you know,
00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:11.759
you pull it together and park in the parking
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garage. So I go, I get, and I'm driving in and
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I'm like, good parking energy, good parking energy.
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I'm going to find a good spot. Did, found a great
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spot. Obviously. And I get it. I park, I start
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going in and then I'm like getting to the ER
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and trying to follow the signs and figure out
00:10:28.940 --> 00:10:31.000
where I'm going. And then like, I hear my name.
00:10:31.019 --> 00:10:33.100
They're like, Lauren O 'Reilly to the critical
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care, whatever the thing it is. I'm like, they're
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paging me. I'm like, that's me. I'm like, okay,
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I'm going. And then like, you're thinking what,
00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:43.080
what happened? Right. So I'm like, but no, like
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he was just talking to me. It was okay. Like
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he's going to be okay. So I get, I get there.
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I check in. I literally go back. oh my gosh,
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there were so many people in the ER, so many
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beds, so many things. And I walk back and there's
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literally Sean just like laying on the thing
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and he's just like staring up at the ceiling,
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like half here, half not. And there's all these
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people around. The cardiologist was like, Mrs.
00:11:07.080 --> 00:11:09.220
O 'Reilly? I'm like, yes. Like, already. Room.
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Like, you know when you go to the ER all the
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waiting. The blessing in disguise is that we
00:11:15.200 --> 00:11:17.519
went to urgent care. They knew he was having
00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:19.299
a heart attack. So the whole team prepped. They
00:11:19.299 --> 00:11:22.039
prepped the room at the cath lab to have the
00:11:22.039 --> 00:11:25.059
procedure that he needed to have done. So that
00:11:25.059 --> 00:11:27.019
was like such a blessing in disguise. So I met
00:11:27.019 --> 00:11:30.759
him. I'm like, I just, this doctor was so nice.
00:11:30.899 --> 00:11:32.360
Everybody was so wonderful there. I was like.
00:11:33.040 --> 00:11:35.340
shaking his hand I think I might have squeezed
00:11:35.340 --> 00:11:37.940
him tight that's okay I think I might have because
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Sean was kind of like unresponsive at this point
00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:42.460
he was like I'm sure can you imagine you're laying
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there you're in shock he doesn't feel good he's
00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:47.759
in pain and he's no Has he ever had surgery?
00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:51.679
No. So this is like traumatizing all across the
00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:54.139
board for Sean. Right, right. So they tell me,
00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:55.500
they're like, Mrs. O 'Reilly, we're going to
00:11:55.500 --> 00:11:58.659
take him back, and he has a blockage, and we
00:11:58.659 --> 00:12:02.100
don't know exactly the extent of it. So we just
00:12:02.100 --> 00:12:04.159
may need to open it up. He may need a stent.
00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:05.620
We're not sure. We'll decide when we're in there.
00:12:06.179 --> 00:12:08.940
So I was like, okay, all right. So then they
00:12:08.940 --> 00:12:11.220
all just like leave, and I'm like standing there.
00:12:11.629 --> 00:12:13.830
I'm like, where do I go? You know, it's like
00:12:13.830 --> 00:12:16.210
one of those moments. Where do you go? So I'm
00:12:16.210 --> 00:12:18.070
like, okay, I got to rally. I got to figure out
00:12:18.070 --> 00:12:20.850
where I'm going. I found the, actually I didn't.
00:12:20.850 --> 00:12:22.809
I found the waiting room and they're like, ring
00:12:22.809 --> 00:12:26.169
this bell. I'm standing outside this room and
00:12:26.169 --> 00:12:28.870
I'm like. Yeah, that's a nice one there, right?
00:12:29.509 --> 00:12:31.289
It's like, I don't know, because I remember gram
00:12:31.289 --> 00:12:35.200
surgeries. It's like big. Yes, yes, yes. I couldn't
00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:37.720
actually get in there because anybody who worked
00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:40.019
in there was in the procedure room. So like I
00:12:40.019 --> 00:12:41.980
ended up having to wait downstairs, waited about,
00:12:42.019 --> 00:12:43.980
I think it ended up being two hours that he was
00:12:43.980 --> 00:12:46.159
in there. And then the cardiologist called me
00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:49.000
and said that he needed one stent, but the procedure
00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:51.059
went great. He had a full complete blockage.
00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:56.679
And I mean, he's only 45. He's 45. And there's
00:12:56.679 --> 00:12:58.740
heart disease in his family, you know, so this
00:12:58.740 --> 00:13:04.090
is genetic. It's crazy, but it worked, what they
00:13:04.090 --> 00:13:07.690
did. And they admitted him and went upstairs
00:13:07.690 --> 00:13:11.730
to the room and was with him. And, you know,
00:13:11.730 --> 00:13:14.970
just seeing him afterwards, I was like, okay,
00:13:15.049 --> 00:13:16.529
we're going to be okay. Because it's like that
00:13:16.529 --> 00:13:21.190
fear of like, what could happen, you know? Like
00:13:21.190 --> 00:13:23.830
in an instant, life is so short. Like anything
00:13:23.830 --> 00:13:27.350
could be taken away from you. And it just, once
00:13:27.350 --> 00:13:31.169
he was back and then he was like. His usual self.
00:13:31.370 --> 00:13:33.629
His normal self asking, requesting different
00:13:33.629 --> 00:13:37.230
items and just, you know, being Sean, I was like,
00:13:37.330 --> 00:13:40.169
okay, thank God. I will welcome all of this.
00:13:40.250 --> 00:13:44.830
Yes. The best part of the whole side day is when
00:13:44.830 --> 00:13:47.470
you called Connor to tell him what was going
00:13:47.470 --> 00:13:51.179
on or whatever. like even keel told him and you're
00:13:51.179 --> 00:13:52.620
like, all right, buddy, do you have any questions?
00:13:52.700 --> 00:13:55.399
And he goes, mom, that is such a teacher thing
00:13:55.399 --> 00:13:58.299
to ask. Because I wanted to make sure that like,
00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:01.320
right? And he was just, but you know what I think
00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:03.659
another blessing in disguise is that Connor has
00:14:03.659 --> 00:14:06.460
seen me go through so much, right? Be in and
00:14:06.460 --> 00:14:08.100
out of the hospital, go to different procedures,
00:14:08.220 --> 00:14:10.360
go to different surgeries and come home and I'm
00:14:10.360 --> 00:14:13.519
healthy and I'm okay. And then he's watching
00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:15.519
you right now. Like, yes, you're battling cancer.
00:14:15.659 --> 00:14:17.720
But at the same point, like, he's hanging out
00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:19.220
with you. You're doing the same thing. You were
00:14:19.220 --> 00:14:22.100
here. You know what I mean? Yeah. What were you
00:14:22.100 --> 00:14:24.799
guys doing that night? I just wanted to keep
00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:27.860
him. I wanted to keep his little brain. completely
00:14:27.860 --> 00:14:29.720
occupied. Like I didn't want him to have a moment.
00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:32.440
So first thing we get home and I'm like, okay,
00:14:32.539 --> 00:14:33.820
what can we do? I'm like, you know what? I have
00:14:33.820 --> 00:14:35.139
a watermelon in the fridge. You want to juice
00:14:35.139 --> 00:14:37.000
the whole thing and make cocktails? He's like,
00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:39.440
yes. So we juiced a whole watermelon and then
00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:40.960
we were like... I love that you made mocktails.
00:14:41.259 --> 00:14:44.120
Yeah, mocktails. We were like putting different
00:14:44.120 --> 00:14:46.279
things to see what was the best and then like
00:14:46.279 --> 00:14:49.679
coming up with a name. And once we had our mocktails,
00:14:50.100 --> 00:14:53.000
you know, he settled in to play video games and...
00:14:53.779 --> 00:14:56.720
Like at one point, him and Anthony were laughing,
00:14:56.759 --> 00:14:58.799
playing this silly cooking game. So he was like
00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:02.419
completely, he set up his bed in the office.
00:15:02.620 --> 00:15:05.360
Like he was ready. He was devastated when I told
00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:07.580
him he wasn't sleeping. He's like, what, I have
00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:12.039
to go home? I was like, yeah, but. But then he
00:15:12.039 --> 00:15:14.259
was excited because he knew Aunt Coll was coming.
00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:17.440
Right, yes, yes. So it was like, you know, you
00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:20.200
don't. You know you have a tribe behind you,
00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:21.799
right? Like you and Anthony were there at an
00:15:21.799 --> 00:15:23.639
instant, picking him up there, taking care of
00:15:23.639 --> 00:15:26.679
him, bringing him back. Like my mom was, you
00:15:26.679 --> 00:15:31.019
know, helping. And for my sister -in -law
00:15:31.019 --> 00:15:34.059
colleen, she... Came out and... That night. That
00:15:34.059 --> 00:15:37.220
night. And I'm so grateful she did because like
00:15:37.220 --> 00:15:39.759
I can do it. Like I am strong and I can do it
00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:41.799
and I can do hard things and I could sit in that
00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:43.960
hospital waiting and not sure what was going
00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:46.120
to happen. I can fucking do anything. I just
00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:48.419
said the F word. I'm sorry. Maybe we should bleep
00:15:48.419 --> 00:15:51.139
that out. If any children are listening, I apologize.
00:15:51.879 --> 00:15:56.960
But I... It was so nice when she showed up at
00:15:56.960 --> 00:15:58.799
the house because I ended up leaving Sean because
00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:02.120
all Sean wanted was a pair of pants. He's like,
00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:04.299
can somebody get me a pair of pants, please?
00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:06.120
Like, you know, you're in the hospital, guy.
00:16:06.179 --> 00:16:09.860
He was just really mortified about it all. And
00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:12.789
he really wanted pants. Once he got settled,
00:16:12.909 --> 00:16:15.049
I'm like, okay. That's all he kept asking. Like,
00:16:15.049 --> 00:16:17.769
there's nothing else. No, I know that feeling
00:16:17.769 --> 00:16:19.409
when you're in hospital. It's like one thing
00:16:19.409 --> 00:16:22.409
you want. Right. He needs pants. So I was going
00:16:22.409 --> 00:16:25.009
to go get his pants. So I got home, saw you guys,
00:16:25.250 --> 00:16:28.490
saw Connor. And then Colleen, Sean's sister,
00:16:28.570 --> 00:16:30.970
came. And it was just really good because then
00:16:30.970 --> 00:16:32.490
we went back to the hospital together. And she
00:16:32.490 --> 00:16:34.409
was there with me. And we sat with Sean because
00:16:34.409 --> 00:16:37.809
they went in through his wrist, through that
00:16:37.809 --> 00:16:39.970
artery there. And they had this, like, cuff with
00:16:39.970 --> 00:16:42.970
air on it um you know holding pressure because
00:16:42.970 --> 00:16:46.850
you could bleed out so um they couldn't start
00:16:46.850 --> 00:16:49.110
releasing the air until what whatever how many
00:16:49.110 --> 00:16:52.179
hours later so Coll was there with me as we waited.
00:16:52.259 --> 00:16:54.940
And everything worked out as they released the
00:16:54.940 --> 00:16:57.539
air. And the people on that floor, those nurses
00:16:57.539 --> 00:16:59.960
were amazing. I almost want to go back and bring
00:16:59.960 --> 00:17:03.519
them a special treat or something. I know Sean
00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:05.180
was a little frustrated about things. But you
00:17:05.180 --> 00:17:07.539
know when you're in the bed, you get frustrated
00:17:07.539 --> 00:17:09.480
about stuff. But from the outside looking in,
00:17:09.619 --> 00:17:12.400
the care was top notch. It really was top notch.
00:17:12.599 --> 00:17:15.059
And everybody was so thorough, explaining everything
00:17:15.059 --> 00:17:17.140
about the heart attack and what he needed to
00:17:17.140 --> 00:17:22.640
do. Because it's a teaching hospital, every nurse
00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:25.140
was like training somebody. So they were like
00:17:25.140 --> 00:17:26.640
talking it out. So I feel like we were getting
00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:28.839
extra details. I was saying you got all the info.
00:17:28.900 --> 00:17:31.420
Yes. He had like an echocardiogram the next day
00:17:31.420 --> 00:17:33.039
and they were explaining it, talking about his
00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:35.440
heart and all things that were reassuring. His
00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:36.940
numbers were trending in the right direction.
00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:42.480
So we were able to go home after, I want to say
00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:44.799
after three or four days we were there. It's
00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:48.349
all blending together. And I'm just... I am beyond
00:17:48.349 --> 00:17:52.849
grateful for just for Coll, for Jen, for my in
00:17:52.849 --> 00:17:54.490
-laws, for my brother -in -law, Scott came out
00:17:54.490 --> 00:17:57.250
just for a day, for Hoef, for like watch babysitting
00:17:57.250 --> 00:18:00.670
Sean because he can't be by himself. When we
00:18:00.670 --> 00:18:03.309
went out yesterday and just for you guys room,
00:18:03.369 --> 00:18:04.970
you and Anthony, just like knowing that you were
00:18:04.970 --> 00:18:07.609
there to help and like my mom and everybody who
00:18:07.609 --> 00:18:11.250
sent messages and gift cards and like things
00:18:11.250 --> 00:18:14.329
that it just, you can't even, it just, I was
00:18:14.329 --> 00:18:17.819
amazed how fast we all just kind of. Boom, click,
00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:20.200
came together, made it happen. You got what you
00:18:20.200 --> 00:18:23.680
needed. And that's what villages are for. And
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:25.779
that's what they're for. And I'm so grateful
00:18:25.779 --> 00:18:27.839
because I feel like, so today's Sunday. It's
00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:31.819
an exact week later. And all my in -laws and
00:18:31.819 --> 00:18:33.900
everybody left today, this morning. Everybody
00:18:33.900 --> 00:18:35.640
was in and out all week. We were never alone,
00:18:35.779 --> 00:18:37.640
you know, because they were always there helping,
00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:39.579
cooking, helping with Connor, doing things. And
00:18:39.579 --> 00:18:43.009
everybody left today. it just kind of hit me.
00:18:43.029 --> 00:18:45.509
I'm like, oh my gosh, we just, this was a week.
00:18:45.609 --> 00:18:47.609
This was a week. This is a week. And we still
00:18:47.609 --> 00:18:49.670
have, we still have a journey ahead of us. You
00:18:49.670 --> 00:18:53.349
know, Sean's out for another week and, you know,
00:18:53.349 --> 00:18:55.509
we go back to the cardiologist on Thursday to
00:18:55.509 --> 00:18:57.230
check his numbers and things, but it's scary.
00:18:57.410 --> 00:19:01.289
And, you know, I, I said to him, I know what
00:19:01.289 --> 00:19:03.170
it's like to be in your shoes and I know what
00:19:03.170 --> 00:19:05.049
it's like to feel like you might die, right?
00:19:05.190 --> 00:19:06.630
You don't know what's happening. You're going
00:19:06.630 --> 00:19:08.730
into a surgery. You're battling cancer, right?
00:19:08.890 --> 00:19:10.710
You're in those shoes and it's really scary,
00:19:10.829 --> 00:19:14.789
but it just gives you perspective and it fine
00:19:14.789 --> 00:19:17.930
tunes things in your life and it makes you reevaluate
00:19:17.930 --> 00:19:21.190
everything that you do every day. And for me,
00:19:21.210 --> 00:19:25.630
I think that I am already, I've always like had
00:19:25.630 --> 00:19:27.549
that perspective, right? Especially everything
00:19:27.549 --> 00:19:31.450
going on with you room, but this. The thought
00:19:31.450 --> 00:19:33.869
of like not having Sean, like he's my person.
00:19:34.230 --> 00:19:37.829
He's my person. I think too, it's like with the
00:19:37.829 --> 00:19:40.910
cancer, it's like you find out and it's like
00:19:40.910 --> 00:19:43.369
this thing is trying to kill you, but it's slowly
00:19:43.369 --> 00:19:45.849
killing you. It was a heart attack. Everything
00:19:45.849 --> 00:19:48.789
just was so sudden. You weren't expecting it.
00:19:48.930 --> 00:19:51.630
Right. You know, like the shock of it. Right,
00:19:51.630 --> 00:19:54.930
right, right. But I do think it's a good lesson
00:19:54.930 --> 00:19:58.369
in that is how fast life can change. And that's
00:19:58.369 --> 00:20:00.630
why you have to cherish every day. You have to
00:20:00.630 --> 00:20:05.289
live your life. You can't live life under, like,
00:20:05.329 --> 00:20:08.009
what if. You can't live your life by the what
00:20:08.009 --> 00:20:12.009
ifs, you know. Well, or to save money or to do
00:20:12.009 --> 00:20:13.670
whatever. Like, just live your life because you
00:20:13.670 --> 00:20:15.630
never know what is going to happen. Right. You
00:20:15.630 --> 00:20:17.589
don't. You know, you can go from just an ordinary
00:20:17.589 --> 00:20:20.990
day to anything else, you know. Your world turns
00:20:20.990 --> 00:20:25.289
upside down. Yeah. Yeah. It is scary. It is scary.
00:20:25.430 --> 00:20:28.990
But then it like sheds the light on what's important.
00:20:29.369 --> 00:20:33.190
And I was saying to Sean today, I go, this all
00:20:33.190 --> 00:20:36.269
happened and I like disappeared. I just, I said
00:20:36.269 --> 00:20:38.529
to you, I couldn't, I was like numb. All I could
00:20:38.529 --> 00:20:40.750
do is sit and stare at the hospital or read a
00:20:40.750 --> 00:20:43.009
book. I couldn't go on social media. I couldn't.
00:20:43.529 --> 00:20:45.890
do the things I love to do, the creative stuff
00:20:45.890 --> 00:20:49.369
I love to do, I shut down. And it was like, I
00:20:49.369 --> 00:20:51.509
was just in this motion. But then today, like
00:20:51.509 --> 00:20:55.210
a spark came back and, you know, every Monday
00:20:55.210 --> 00:20:57.150
I've been sending out these healing notes, right?
00:20:57.289 --> 00:20:59.569
And isn't it crazy? Like I'm working and doing
00:20:59.569 --> 00:21:02.069
on these things and I'm sharing these emails
00:21:02.069 --> 00:21:04.750
with these strategies and things. And then this
00:21:04.750 --> 00:21:07.890
stuff is happening to me all the time where I'm
00:21:07.890 --> 00:21:10.930
using strategies and tools and things that are
00:21:10.930 --> 00:21:13.089
helping me to just like get through each day.
00:21:13.170 --> 00:21:16.309
So I am sending out, I missed last week, but
00:21:16.309 --> 00:21:18.630
if you've been registered and getting my healing
00:21:18.630 --> 00:21:21.349
notes, I am sending one out tomorrow, but I did
00:21:21.349 --> 00:21:24.190
have to take a week off. And that's totally okay.
00:21:24.289 --> 00:21:31.170
And everybody understands that. It's all wild.
00:21:31.250 --> 00:21:34.809
It's just wild. I still can't believe it. Still
00:21:34.809 --> 00:21:37.130
saying the word Sean had a heart attack is weird
00:21:37.130 --> 00:21:39.829
for me. I know. I know. But it is, you know,
00:21:39.829 --> 00:21:41.970
I actually talked with our therapist about that.
00:21:42.210 --> 00:21:45.289
Because I remember you called me, I think it
00:21:45.289 --> 00:21:47.829
was like Monday night or Tuesday night. And you
00:21:47.829 --> 00:21:50.329
were like, I have no thoughts in my head. I'm
00:21:50.329 --> 00:21:53.210
blank. And you said that to me. And I went, I
00:21:53.210 --> 00:21:55.769
did go through that for a while. And I actually
00:21:55.769 --> 00:21:57.890
just talked to our therapist about this. And
00:21:57.890 --> 00:22:01.440
I was like. I'm coming back online. And I was
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:04.779
like, I didn't realize how much I shut off from
00:22:04.779 --> 00:22:10.019
fear, from whatever. But like, it is a good feeling
00:22:10.019 --> 00:22:12.160
when you start to feel those pieces come back.
00:22:12.299 --> 00:22:14.480
You know, it took me a lot longer because it
00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:18.339
was like an extended thing, but you were. zoned
00:22:18.339 --> 00:22:20.700
for a couple of days. You just kept saying like,
00:22:20.759 --> 00:22:22.640
I just don't know. And I'm like, you don't have
00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:24.279
to think anything. You don't have to feel anything.
00:22:25.059 --> 00:22:28.059
It's normal, I think, to be like. Right. It's
00:22:28.059 --> 00:22:29.799
almost like just your coping. It's the coping
00:22:29.799 --> 00:22:32.720
mechanism, right? To just sit and stare. And
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:34.380
I even said to Sean today, I'm like, today's
00:22:34.380 --> 00:22:36.579
the first day. I feel like I want to sit down
00:22:36.579 --> 00:22:39.180
and write. Like I've been working on my Celia
00:22:39.180 --> 00:22:42.440
the Celiac picture book. And I was in such a
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:45.279
like really good vibe with things I was brainstorming.
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:46.980
Like, you know, the creative juices are flowing.
00:22:47.299 --> 00:22:49.539
And I have clients who are in my course that
00:22:49.539 --> 00:22:52.299
I've been like, and I just like disappeared for
00:22:52.299 --> 00:22:55.019
a week. But you know what? This is life. This
00:22:55.019 --> 00:22:58.619
is life. And it's like, sometimes I think. Everything
00:22:58.619 --> 00:23:00.960
is purposeful in a way, even when it's so tragic,
00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:03.380
when it's so terrible. I think everything is
00:23:03.380 --> 00:23:06.000
serving us in a way to help us evolve into who
00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:08.660
we're supposed to be. And I do truly believe
00:23:08.660 --> 00:23:10.500
in my heart, even though Sean might not agree,
00:23:10.700 --> 00:23:13.859
that this was something he needed to move forward
00:23:13.859 --> 00:23:17.519
in a healthy way and to put things in perspective
00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:21.140
for him and to help refine his purpose, you know?
00:23:21.140 --> 00:23:23.759
And remind him he's good. Go to the doctor. He's
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:25.420
got to go to the doctor. He's got to get checked.
00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:27.460
He's got to take care of himself because he has
00:23:27.460 --> 00:23:30.400
a family that. There's a lot to live for. Yeah.
00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:33.200
I think that was one of the things I talked about
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:38.259
when I was first diagnosed that like you have
00:23:38.259 --> 00:23:40.500
these moments where you look around and you're
00:23:40.500 --> 00:23:42.220
like, oh my God, I have so much to live for.
00:23:42.519 --> 00:23:46.269
Right. And it's almost like it takes that. quote
00:23:46.269 --> 00:23:49.630
unquote brush with death to realize how much
00:23:49.630 --> 00:23:51.829
you have to live for, like how much you have
00:23:51.829 --> 00:23:53.930
going on in your life. I had so many moments
00:23:53.930 --> 00:23:56.349
where I was like, I literally would like pull
00:23:56.349 --> 00:24:00.309
back and I felt like I was like watching, I was
00:24:00.309 --> 00:24:02.769
outside of my body watching all this around me.
00:24:02.809 --> 00:24:05.269
And I looked at my parents and you guys and Anthony
00:24:05.269 --> 00:24:09.549
and my animals and my friends. Like, I was like,
00:24:09.589 --> 00:24:12.390
I can't leave. I'm not ready. Like this, you
00:24:12.390 --> 00:24:14.670
know what I mean? It does really shift a lot.
00:24:15.319 --> 00:24:18.339
for you. It does. It does. It does. And I think
00:24:18.339 --> 00:24:22.579
that, I think that you don't realize that until
00:24:22.579 --> 00:24:24.700
you're in it. And I think Sean's getting that
00:24:24.700 --> 00:24:28.380
now. And, you know, as I just, there's moments
00:24:28.380 --> 00:24:30.980
these last couple of days where I'm like going
00:24:30.980 --> 00:24:32.799
through the motions and doing the things, right?
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.980
Because I'm, I'm the caretaker. And also I'm
00:24:34.980 --> 00:24:38.059
like, give me my badge. I'm ready to go. Sean's
00:24:38.059 --> 00:24:39.960
been doing this for how long for me? Like, I'm
00:24:39.960 --> 00:24:41.799
ready to shine right now. Like, let's do this.
00:24:42.569 --> 00:24:44.309
And I'm just, there was one night I was sitting
00:24:44.309 --> 00:24:47.150
at our counter and I'm watching like my sister
00:24:47.150 --> 00:24:49.430
-in -law cook dinner and my other sister -in
00:24:49.430 --> 00:24:52.640
-law play with Connor. Just like the love and
00:24:52.640 --> 00:24:55.819
the family and the people. And it's just, you're
00:24:55.819 --> 00:24:57.759
right, Room. There's so much to live for. So
00:24:57.759 --> 00:24:59.920
much. And we're so lucky. And my heart is so
00:24:59.920 --> 00:25:02.460
full. And I know Sean is going to be okay. And
00:25:02.460 --> 00:25:07.299
I know that this is just a start in his new journey
00:25:07.299 --> 00:25:09.819
of having heart disease. He had a heart attack.
00:25:09.819 --> 00:25:11.859
He has heart disease. And this is a new path
00:25:11.859 --> 00:25:15.660
for him. And it's a path that he is going to
00:25:15.660 --> 00:25:17.660
thrive in. I know he will. Of course he will.
00:25:17.720 --> 00:25:21.099
I know he will. He's got you as his boss, making
00:25:21.099 --> 00:25:23.319
sure he's thriving. Actually, it turns out I've
00:25:23.319 --> 00:25:25.079
always been in charge, but like now I'm really
00:25:25.079 --> 00:25:28.880
in charge health -wise. I'm like calling the
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:31.480
cardiologist because he's not well. She's like
00:25:31.480 --> 00:25:35.180
calling me back or his office or whatever. And
00:25:35.180 --> 00:25:37.839
I'm like, I am the point person. That is me.
00:25:37.940 --> 00:25:40.859
I'm the point person. I'm in charge. I'm scheduling
00:25:40.859 --> 00:25:42.440
the appointments, doing the things, whatever
00:25:42.440 --> 00:25:45.039
else, because he needs me to, you know, and because
00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:48.000
he's shown up for me. How many years? He's been
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:50.440
by my side on the other side of that hospital
00:25:50.440 --> 00:25:53.839
bed. I do think now that you've played the role
00:25:53.839 --> 00:25:57.980
of caregiver and Anthony's fully in the role
00:25:57.980 --> 00:26:00.099
of caregiver, I think in the fall, we might have
00:26:00.099 --> 00:26:03.640
to do a caregiver episode because now that you've
00:26:03.640 --> 00:26:08.190
experienced it. And I'm seeing it. I'm seeing
00:26:08.190 --> 00:26:10.109
what Anthony's going through. I think it'd be
00:26:10.109 --> 00:26:13.690
powerful for people to understand what being
00:26:13.690 --> 00:26:16.410
the caregiver means and how it feels for the
00:26:16.410 --> 00:26:18.910
person on the other end of things. I know because
00:26:18.910 --> 00:26:22.009
actually I was thinking about that. Well, I had
00:26:22.009 --> 00:26:23.490
a lot of time in the hospital and Sean's like
00:26:23.490 --> 00:26:26.289
snoring away and I was like sitting there and
00:26:26.289 --> 00:26:28.789
I was just thinking like to even think about
00:26:28.789 --> 00:26:31.430
like what Anthony's going through with everything,
00:26:31.549 --> 00:26:34.819
right? To be in those shoes, right, and to feel
00:26:34.819 --> 00:26:37.920
like it's unknown, you know? It's scary. It's
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:39.200
very scary. And it's someone you love so deeply.
00:26:39.539 --> 00:26:41.579
And, I mean, Sean and I have been together for
00:26:41.579 --> 00:26:43.480
so long. We've had so many years. Like, you guys
00:26:43.480 --> 00:26:45.559
are just starting your, like, love story, you
00:26:45.559 --> 00:26:48.279
know? Yeah. It, like, makes me nauseous to think
00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:50.380
about it, but at the same point, know that it
00:26:50.380 --> 00:26:52.460
strengthens your marriage. It does. It does.
00:26:52.579 --> 00:26:55.519
It strengthens your relationship. For you and
00:26:55.519 --> 00:26:57.660
Sean, for me and Anthony, it's just making us
00:26:57.660 --> 00:27:00.420
stronger. That's not the case for everybody.
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:03.039
But I think if more people understood the caregiver
00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:07.400
role, then there'd be less of that where you
00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:10.339
see people like, where it doesn't strengthen
00:27:10.339 --> 00:27:14.460
there. Right. Because it is hard, right? It is
00:27:14.460 --> 00:27:16.819
hard and it's a lot, but you know what it is
00:27:16.819 --> 00:27:19.720
when you feel that appreciation back, right?
00:27:19.859 --> 00:27:23.450
And I don't know, have I always? communicated
00:27:23.450 --> 00:27:25.769
my appreciation to Sean. I hope I have over the
00:27:25.769 --> 00:27:27.650
years, you know. But now you're thinking about
00:27:27.650 --> 00:27:29.490
it. Right. Now I'm thinking about it because
00:27:29.490 --> 00:27:33.069
I was so in my own hospital bed, in my own mind
00:27:33.069 --> 00:27:35.170
about what I was going through, you know, and
00:27:35.170 --> 00:27:37.569
I've always been grateful for everything he's
00:27:37.569 --> 00:27:39.509
done for me and has always been by my side. But
00:27:39.509 --> 00:27:41.970
have I communicated that enough? Right. You know,
00:27:41.970 --> 00:27:45.750
so, but. Puts everything in perspective. Oh,
00:27:45.750 --> 00:27:48.309
my gosh. What a catch -up this has been. Jeez,
00:27:48.390 --> 00:27:50.750
Louise. Okay, so now, well, you guys have been,
00:27:50.769 --> 00:27:53.130
like, confined to the couch like me. Are you
00:27:53.130 --> 00:27:55.430
watching anything new and exciting? Okay, well,
00:27:55.589 --> 00:27:58.769
my favorite, Reacher, is back on. We do love
00:27:58.769 --> 00:28:01.069
Reacher. Okay, I love Reacher, and Reacher is
00:28:01.069 --> 00:28:03.670
back on. Actually, we finished up Game of Thrones
00:28:03.670 --> 00:28:05.690
in the hospital, so Sunday night. I remember
00:28:05.690 --> 00:28:07.390
you telling me that. That was like the, we had
00:28:07.390 --> 00:28:10.289
the best date night in the hospital. I was like,
00:28:10.509 --> 00:28:12.430
because we, you know, it's Sunday, no, it was
00:28:12.430 --> 00:28:14.529
Monday night. Because Sunday, as everything happened,
00:28:14.769 --> 00:28:16.789
and he was starting to feel better and his pain
00:28:16.789 --> 00:28:19.130
was regulated. And he was like, oh, we missed
00:28:19.130 --> 00:28:21.109
Game of Thrones. And it was the last one for
00:28:21.109 --> 00:28:22.589
any of you Game of Thrones people out there.
00:28:22.910 --> 00:28:24.710
And I'm like, bummer. I'm like, so I brought
00:28:24.710 --> 00:28:28.349
my laptop and he got his mystery meat delivered
00:28:28.349 --> 00:28:33.089
with potatoes and carrots. And I set up my laptop
00:28:33.089 --> 00:28:36.450
and we had just a cozy snuggle night. I really
00:28:36.450 --> 00:28:38.089
wanted to climb in the hospital bed with him
00:28:38.089 --> 00:28:40.730
and snuggle with him. But there's not a ton of
00:28:40.730 --> 00:28:42.250
room in there. Yeah, there's not a lot of room.
00:28:42.509 --> 00:28:44.109
little recliner. We watched Game of Thrones,
00:28:44.170 --> 00:28:46.029
so we finished that up, which was great, and
00:28:46.029 --> 00:28:48.730
now Reacher is back, so we're watching Reacher,
00:28:48.829 --> 00:28:51.869
which is good. What about you guys? I discovered
00:28:51.869 --> 00:28:55.349
a new show called Sterling Point. Yes, you were
00:28:55.349 --> 00:28:57.410
telling me about this. That's really, really
00:28:57.410 --> 00:29:01.509
good. Anthony and I, we watched the Travis Barker
00:29:01.509 --> 00:29:04.410
documentary. Oh, how was that? It was actually
00:29:04.410 --> 00:29:09.730
really, really good. He's had quite a life. And
00:29:09.730 --> 00:29:13.690
we are re -watching Sons of Anarchy. Oh, Sean
00:29:13.690 --> 00:29:16.289
loves that show. I know, I love that show too.
00:29:16.569 --> 00:29:18.849
Has Anthony ever seen it? No, Anthony's never
00:29:18.849 --> 00:29:20.130
seen it. Oh, it's Anthony's first time? It's
00:29:20.130 --> 00:29:22.490
Anthony's first time, yeah. I watched it a long
00:29:22.490 --> 00:29:24.569
time ago, but so now we're watching it together.
00:29:24.809 --> 00:29:27.470
Okay, that's so fun. I love it. All right, books.
00:29:27.789 --> 00:29:30.069
What are you into? Oh my God, our friend Taryn
00:29:30.069 --> 00:29:31.869
recommended this book. It's called The Seven
00:29:31.869 --> 00:29:35.170
Year Slip. Okay. I was nervous because I was
00:29:35.170 --> 00:29:37.170
coming off of off -campus and I was having a
00:29:37.170 --> 00:29:41.000
book hangover and I'm like... I can't, every
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:42.859
night I'm like, is it time to go to bed yet?
00:29:43.960 --> 00:29:47.400
It's so good. It's so good. You have to, you're
00:29:47.400 --> 00:29:49.500
going to have to read this one. It's so good.
00:29:49.539 --> 00:29:52.359
Like I'm already, I started it. Is it a series
00:29:52.359 --> 00:29:54.779
or just one book? Just one book. Okay. I started
00:29:54.779 --> 00:29:57.200
it two nights ago and I'm already, well, I read
00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:59.670
on my Kindle. I'm already 35. percent done with
00:29:59.670 --> 00:30:01.309
the book. Oh no and then it's like oh my god
00:30:01.309 --> 00:30:03.250
I love it so much but I'm like already almost
00:30:03.250 --> 00:30:07.029
halfway done. I know but it's so so good. Oh
00:30:07.029 --> 00:30:09.349
I love it. I'm gonna have to try that next. Yeah.
00:30:09.349 --> 00:30:11.890
Because right now I finished The Hospital Stay.
00:30:11.990 --> 00:30:14.150
All I could do was read in the hospital. I totally
00:30:14.150 --> 00:30:16.410
freaking shut down. You finished a fiction book.
00:30:16.490 --> 00:30:18.829
I finished a fiction book Reminders of Him which
00:30:18.829 --> 00:30:20.529
was super good. Okay so we have to watch the
00:30:20.529 --> 00:30:23.130
movie. We do have a movie night but now I'm starting
00:30:23.130 --> 00:30:26.279
um I just started the new one. Oh, God. Midnight
00:30:26.279 --> 00:30:28.859
Library. So I'm reading Midnight Library right
00:30:28.859 --> 00:30:31.660
now, which. Great book. It's a good book. Sean
00:30:31.660 --> 00:30:33.240
will have to read it after you. That's what I
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:35.319
said to him. And I was actually advertising it.
00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:38.019
And then because family was here, I was going
00:30:38.019 --> 00:30:40.599
through my bookshelf. I gave one of my sister
00:30:40.599 --> 00:30:45.319
-in -laws the Tupac. Oh, there you go. Biography.
00:30:45.640 --> 00:30:48.039
Biography. So I gave her that. Okay. Have you
00:30:48.039 --> 00:30:51.460
ever read the Britney Spears? No. Jen was going
00:30:51.460 --> 00:30:54.099
on and on about how good it was. I've heard that.
00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:56.500
I know. So I feel like I'm like, okay, I got
00:30:56.500 --> 00:30:59.640
to put that on my list. Yeah, see, I'm not a
00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:03.579
big biography person. But this was our room.
00:31:04.140 --> 00:31:06.920
Brittany, Justin Timberlake. I know. The boy
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:09.359
bands, Backstreet Boys, all the things. She spills
00:31:09.359 --> 00:31:11.880
some tea on Justin, apparently. Apparently. I
00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:13.660
don't know about it, but I got to read it. She
00:31:13.660 --> 00:31:16.579
said it was really good. Okay, maybe. So there
00:31:16.579 --> 00:31:22.109
we go. It felt good to talk today. Catch everybody
00:31:22.109 --> 00:31:27.549
up. Yeah. And guys, I think this is our last
00:31:27.549 --> 00:31:30.750
IGG Extra of the summer. Oh, do we have one more?
00:31:30.910 --> 00:31:33.369
We have one more. One more. We'll have one more
00:31:33.369 --> 00:31:35.690
after this and then it'll be time for season
00:31:35.690 --> 00:31:41.180
three. Wait till you guys see. Season three has
00:31:41.180 --> 00:31:44.700
some surprises coming your way. Surprises and
00:31:44.700 --> 00:31:48.180
some super cute situations. All right. Well,
00:31:48.259 --> 00:31:51.240
it was nice catching up with you guys. And we'll
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:52.900
catch you in two weeks. We'll catch you in two
00:31:52.900 --> 00:31:55.240
weeks. Bye. See you then. Bye.