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Welcome to.
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It's the Human Experience Podcast Hosted by Hazel Brown, a healthcare leader, wife, mom and career coach.
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If you're big on authenticity, personal development, perseverance and transparency, you're in the right place.
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Get ready to be uplifted, inspired and empowered as you become fearless in pursuit of the life you desire and deserve.
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Our goal is to help you level up by creating a safe space to learn and reflect, while listening to transparent stories from our host or successful professionals and business owners who've agreed to share the parts of success that typically gets x'd out on social media, because that's the part you need to see and hear the process.
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You don't want to miss out on these transparent stories and discussions that reveal highs, lows, aha moments and nuggets that'll help you to grow and glow.
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Hey, hey, hey, you are now tuned in to the it's the Human Experience Podcast.
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I'm your host, hazel Brown.
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How are you?
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Thanks for tuning in to the podcast.
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If it's your first time here, welcome welcome.
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If you're a returning listener, hey welcome.
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Thanks for listening into the podcast.
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Listen, make sure that you subscribe, follow us and like it, share it, all the things right, and definitely make sure that you leave us a comment if you're listening from Apple, so that we can know your greatest takeaways.
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It really helps to get the podcast in front of more people when you engage with the podcast and all the things.
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Today I wanted to talk to you guys about a really interesting concept, right?
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I think so many times people see people on social media, they see people on their journeys through their life and we create this sense of perception around how well we know a person, or how much we think we know about a person, or how much we relate to that person, or think that we know the hearts of that person.
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I think it's so interesting because it's very clear on social media if you know of someone, you kind of see their profile, you kind of know a few things about them, but then there's this fall sense of relatability, this fall sense of perception of familiarity, to where you kind of feel like you know the person, like that's my person.
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I feel so seen, and the reality is we may not really know those people.
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I really wanted to get into the thought process and conversation around knowing of someone versus knowing the heart of someone.
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Clearly, knowing the heart of someone is much deeper.
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It means that you know their emotions, their motivations, their motivators, their desires, their fears, their most inner thoughts.
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While knowing of someone, you're aware of their existence, you know basic facts and things about them.
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It's truly surface level and if you've listened to previous episodes, you may have heard the episode where I talk about.
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I don't like surface level anything.
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I love deep connections.
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I love getting to know the heart of people I think that is so fascinating and getting to know people at their core and their true, authentic self.
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The reason this topic became one that I really wanted to expand on is because, personally, I've realized that sometimes we can know of a person through our life, right?
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So we're not talking about social media anymore, we are talking about real day.
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We know of a person.
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Maybe we knew them in high school, maybe we knew them in middle school.
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Maybe we knew them in elementary school Listen, maybe y'all were in daycare together, listen, I don't care.
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And through that experience, because you know of them, right, there's some history there.
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As we lean into social media, that familiarity then becomes a thing to where you've seen that person grow, you've seen that person expand and evolve, and sometimes the perception then becomes you know that person because you know of that person.
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And that can happen to where maybe you had a friendship, a relationship, whatever the case may be, and people tend to think that they know you, right, or you know them.
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But the reality is you're just seeing moments and glimpses of time through social media.
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And I think social media is like beautiful, right.
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I think it's so beautiful that you can stay connected to people that live way across the world, right, that maybe you had a semester with them in college, maybe you dated them for two days and broke up, whatever the case may be, it's a beautiful thing to still be able to see the evolution of a person.
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But there's a clear distinction there, because just because you know of someone doesn't mean you actually know the heart of that person, and so when we think about relationships, there should be some mutual trust that gets established.
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There should be some interests and values that are shared.
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You want to make sure that you actually have a supportive relationship, right?
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You're pouring, they're pouring, and if you know of someone nine times out of 10, no pouring is happening because you just know of the person.
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Then there's also that time and consistency to where you have nurtured and built a relationship with someone or a friendship with someone, or whatever the case may be.
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I think the reason why this is of relevance is because too many times we are using the terms friends so loosely when in fact people are more of associates, they are more of a long time acquaintance, they are more of a daycare diaper buddy, right, but they're not someone who you know the heart of.
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And until we make that distinction for ourselves to truly understand the categories in which people belong, so that you can decide how to keep them in your life or realize that, hey, in my mind this person is my friend, but the reality is I don't really know them.
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I know of them.
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We went to high school together.
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We may have went to elementary school together.
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We may have went to college together.
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We may have ran into each other a few times through the years and I knew the heart of them at whatever time that I actually spoke to them, but I don't truly know who they are today.
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I haven't actually taken the time to nurture that friendship, to nurture that relationship, to nurture whatever the acquaintance may be.
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And so I think, so many times, due to social media, we then tend to allude seeing their growth or them seeing our growth to where we feel so familiar with their life that we really think we know these people.
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And I just wanted to shed light on that, because that is so interesting, where studies show that social media has people really thinking that they know people, both from the standpoint of they've actually never met them and then also from the standpoint that maybe you went to high school together and haven't seen each other in 15 years, in 20 years, in 30 years.
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But now because of that association and memories and in your mind you're starting to feel like hey, that's my friend.
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Oh, like I know this person but you didn't speak to them in 3000 weeks, like, if that's a thing, I need you to remember that sometimes our brain really associates things because it likes being able to relate to history, it triggers back into your subconscious mind, and then there's also the comfort around the perception of these memories and ideation, essentially, that, oh my God, this is my person like.
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They understand me, they're just like me, but you really don't know them.
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So I just wanted to make sure that we really talked about how that nostalgic feeling around old times and familiar faces and experience could allow people to then think that they know people more than they know them, and I really wanted to make sure that we understood that that's a limited view if you only know someone through social media.
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So both from the standpoint of understanding that, hey, I really need to sit back and make sure that I am very clear in the direction that I'm headed, in the way that I group these people as my friends, associates or whatever the case may be, or the way that I'm looking at these people that I'm seeing online and thinking that their life actually looks like that in real life.
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When it is truly a moment in time, I will transparently say if you see me on social media, I'm having a good day in the sense that I look cute and 90% of the times I walk around looking like a whole wilder beast.
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I don't even know what a wilder beast look like.
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But I've heard that before.
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Right, that association.
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Right, I wanted to make a show.
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I really landed on that because too many times you see people at their best and you compare their best to your everyday, but you don't know what they look like everyday.
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You don't know how they show up for their selves everyday.
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And, granted, I show up for myself regardless of what I look like.
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But I share that example to say that stop comparing yourself to people's reels.
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Stop comparing yourself to people's moments that they decide to highlight because they're having a good day.
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You choose not to share that.
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Maybe, or maybe you actually share it and you're thinking to yourself that maybe the way in which they share it makes you feel as though they have things figured out far more than you do, or they're further along, and the reality is you don't know what Level they're on.
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You don't know how far they are in the race, you don't know how long they've been going at it.
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So you really need to stop comparing yourself to the way that people are showing up on social media and you definitely need to make sure you take some time to reflect on how you really know a person, because you don't want to get Yourself in a position to where it feels like you're friends with someone, right?
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Hey, that's my sis, hey, that's my router, hey, that's my partner.
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And the reality is you don't know the heart of someone.
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I Recently had an experience where I had to analyze and really think through the heart and the Relationship that I had with someone and it really made me realize like wow, social media really has you in a space where, just because you know of someone and have known them for Decades right, and because you kind of seen them grow through social media, on the fact that of you knew of them, of them, for decades, it makes you feel like you really know a person.
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But when you dig deep and scratch your surface a little bit, you realize, wait, I really don't know them, like we have not developed that kind of friendship or bond To know the motivators, to know the motivations, to know the desires, to know the fears, to know the Intermost thoughts.
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And so I was like, wow, that's crazy Girl.
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You thought you evolved and look at you out here, thinking that you've actually Established a relationship and knew the heart of someone.
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That when you looked at things, you realize like wow, Social media sped up this relationship that didn't even really happen, like we didn't even put in the work.
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We went in the court shooting to nurture the relationship, but it really felt like I did, and so I'm definitely not gonna make this a topic to where I continue.
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But I wanted to make sure that I was honest for real time in the moment and made sure that we discussed the importance of really looking through the people that you have in your life and Making sure that you're not pulling people along on your journey and in your friend zone Circle in terms of how you identify different people and the reality is like they're not even in that group, but somehow they made it there because of that Association of familiarity and perception, with ideation, thinking that, hey, because I knew of them for a long period of time, they're my friend.
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Now I'm buddy.
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I'm gonna need y'all to go to the gym and put in the work together and make sure y'all are shooting and doing all the things you need to do to truly build a good Foundation when it comes to friendship, when it comes to being able to provide that Reciprocity, being able to have that supportive relationship, being able to ensure that your interests are shared.
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The values are the same and you have that mutual trust Through time and consistency.
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I don't know who this message was for, but I am super obedient these days and I try to make sure that I come as openly as I can to make sure that I'm sharing the gems so that we all could level up and really Reflect and look at the way that we're living our lives to make sure it's one that's meaningful, it's authentic, it's genuine and it provides the fulfillment that we want.
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We hope you caught all those gems.
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So here for all of it.
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Be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss a gem.
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Write a review so that we know to keep bringing you episodes like this and Check us out online at.
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It's the human experience.
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Calm, to keep up with us, keep growing and glowing.
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Catch you on the next episode.