S1 E2 Why Coaches Hate Your Kids

WEBVTT
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Welcome to the Huddling Whistle Show, where sports meets culture
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and the conversation always goes deeper. We are former athletes, coaches,
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parents and insiders bringing you high IQ sports talk you
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can't get anywhere else. Follow us on social media and
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subscribe on YouTube or your favorite podcast platform so you
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never miss a beat. Let's huddle up and blow the
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whistle we are on. Welcome back to another episode of
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Huddling Whistle. Last week we talked about MJ. There was
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a lot of controversy. Somebody actually said that we were
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being MJ haters. I just want to up this point,
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that's not true. We actually love MJ. However, the numbers
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don't lie. That's a different era of basketball than than
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what we have today, and you just have to expect
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that some people are just gonna believe whatever they see
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and other people, you know, kind of use stats. So
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today we are I'm going to have a very interesting
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show and we're going to talk about why coaches hate
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your kid. While that may not be the proper word,
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because of course a coach wouldn't hate your kid, However,
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we all know if you've played sports, been around sports,
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AAU youth basketball, youth football, you name it. There are
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always those kids that somehow seem like they're just not
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the coach's favorite. So we're gonna jump right into that
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today again, Welcome to Huddle and Whistle. This is episode two,
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and let's go why might a coach seem to hate
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your kid?
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I'll speaking from a perspective of coaching football for over
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twenty five years from the youth level, high school level,
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did some time with college, and you know, it seems
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like parents have this misconception that their child should have
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equal access to the ball. Like traditionally there was an evolution,
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like you know, you were freshmen to senior. You know,
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you learn the game, then you learn the role, then
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you became ball dominant, right, and then you know their assistancy.
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There's just like this disconnect that your kid has actually
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put in the work in practice and shown that he
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should have the ball, right And the reality of it
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is so all kids just aren't created equal, like their
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skill sets just aren't created equal. And at the end
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of the day, you know, it just seems like all
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parents believe their kids should have the same amount of
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shots as step hurt and that's just not the reality
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of it. Your kids just wasn't built that way, you know,
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and so you know they get upset about it, but hey, man,
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that's just the reality all kids not created.
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Yeah, are you being mean about it? Why would a
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parent actually feel like you hate their kids.
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They don't believe that you hate their kids. They believe
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that you hating on their kids, like you deny they
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kid the opportunity, like my kids should have a certain
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amount of touches.
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And so for.
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Example, you know, it might be blowout time and they
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kid gets in and they score touchdown right, and the
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kid the parents automatically say, oh, you know, see they
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should have been throwing you the ball. He should have
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been had it. Well, you know, it's it's a different
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time in the game. You know, the defense has shifted
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and focused on the primary players. You know, we slipped
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your kid in there. You know, it made a play
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for him.
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That don't mean that he can handle being a number
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one option.
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That just means that he was the best option in
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the fourth quarter when it was fifty to nothing.
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You know. So that's that's a different scenario.
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But you can't convince they kid that you know, the
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parent that you know, Oh, the coaches hate man, see
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they should have been playing.
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You know, I told him the should have been playing.
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So you know, I don't know what you do with that.
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You know, I really don't know what you do with that. Yeah,
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I agree with everything Terry is saying.
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But a lot of times the reason why the coaches
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hate know your kid is because of you.
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You in the stands. You calling them a coach is stupid.
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You're seeing all types of stuff, Like you know, the
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coaches got family members and friends in the stands too.
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Yeah, they know what kid is saying.
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What A lot of times that information get right back
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to the coach, and well, how do you think that
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coach gonna feel? You know what I'm saying, like you're
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talking bad about all? He will know what he's doing.
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He a Pop Warner coach. I've had that happen as
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a coach at the high school level where you got
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parents in the stands, and I never took it personal
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because I understand that parents. Part of your kids shining
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is a brag for you, Like my kids score ten touchdowns,
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you know, they bragging more than what the kid is bragging.
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And sometimes that rubs the coach the wrong way. It
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rubs the other players the wrong way. It rubs the
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culture of your team the wrong way. So now you
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have kids having animosity towards this kid, and then you
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got to hum because their parents and made them all
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the way up there, so you're not hating them. What
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you're trying to do is save the culture of your team,
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the culture of your program. Because but they say one
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bad one riding apple and spoiled a bunch, and you
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start getting too much of that in there. Our parents
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coming in and say, coach, you should do this, or
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you should run that. That parent or that coach is
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really getting mad at that parent. So they're not being
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mad at the kid per se, they're just tired of
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the parent running a gap. So in order to keep
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this parent for me, the running the yap, they might
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do it the wrong way. I'm gonna bench this kid.
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I'm gonna prove a point. I don't need your kid,
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or you know, they take that anger out on that
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kid like he dropped.
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A pass in practice.
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That's why I don't get you the ball, That's why
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that's why you don't get all the playing time you need.
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So a lot of times it's the parents and and
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the culture of being that sideline coach, or that in
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the stands coach as we call them arms, the armchair
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coaches when you're watching.
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The game at home.
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But that is one of the reasons why coaches little
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hate on the kid or they will not give the
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kid all the shine that they need because they're tired
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of this parent gas like them in the stands, or
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gas like them around the program and making them look
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bad because you know people here, you know, and don't
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let it be a parent that has any type of
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plan experience or coaching experience. You never know what administrator
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is listening. You never know what's going to owe what
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you think we should do. And you know, some administrators
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walking a parent down he should be an assistant coach,
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just messing up the whole flow. So that's why a
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lot of these these coaches, they're very cautious sometimes with kids.
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Unless you're just a superstar. Then you're a superstar. They
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don't care what.
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Your parents are saying and what they're doing. But a
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lot of.
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Times the hate or the hate team, as Terry said,
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the hating on your kid comes because of how you're
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acting in the stands or around the facilities and doing
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things like that.
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So you know, like to follow up with that, right,
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I have. I've had the privilege of coaching with some
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phenomenal coaches.
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Like one of the coaches that I coached with recently,
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there is a high school program that they've been to
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five state champions chips in like the last seven years.
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Right, They're just on that level, right, And.
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So as an experienced coach, you know, we always sit
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back and laugh and we have the saying that the
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stands is undefeated, like you cannot get.
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The stand to do.
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So you have somebody that this this coach that'll just go,
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you know what, I'm not going to allow parents in
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my practice. You can't come watch practice. You have to
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stand outside the gate. You can't even be in a
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parking lot when we practice, right, And so they just
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kind of tune it out because they understand, like, hey man,
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it's just the territory that comes with it. Everybody's entitled
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to their opinion, you know. But it just cuts off
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the engagement with the parents. And so now where you
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will normally be able to have a regular conversation with
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a coach after practice, the coach just kind of tunes
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you out, and now everything is just directed to.
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The head coach.
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So even if your kid has a position coach, you
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really don't talk to the position coach much because things
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just get filter to the head coach just to keep
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the tension down, and they're usually the ambassador for the
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program and so you know, unfortunately it's just the communication
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gets separate, and so sometimes that could be interpreted like
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somebody really does hate your kid. They don't hate your kid,
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but it's just you know, they don't want to deal
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with your parents.
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I'll tell you that much.
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So you mean to tell me that there's never been
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a time that a kid made you, let's not call
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it hate, so annoyed that you just, you know, go
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sit down, go sit on the bench, and you just
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did not put that kid back in absolutely. Okay, I'm
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just making you on the same age because I'm like,
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you know, I wouldn't say I hate the kid. However,
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you know, again back to what you guys were saying earlier,
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there are sometimes those parental influences and you've got this
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kid that maybe they're at an age where the parent
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and coaches have said I expect for them to advocate
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for themselves, but they don't really understand coaching or even
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team dynamics or what you're trying to build as a program,
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and they come to you they're like, you know, well
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I'm better than so and so and they get more
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playing time than me. And trying to explain those type
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of things sometimes to a kid, even you know, on
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a tenth time, it's not always something that they really comprehend,
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and so, you know, I just I can imagine that
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that might be somewhat frustrating from a coaching perspective as well,
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even if it's a coach's job or our job, or
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or whomever's job it is to make those explanations. My
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daughter's practices were closed. I was not allowed to watch
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her practice. I wish I could, because I definitely couldn't
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understand sometimes why she was watching the game instead of
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not in it. But I also know my daughter and
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I don't know her behavior so to speak, in practice,
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and it's something that I work on with her all
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the time about, you know, just being a better teammate,
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not being mad or being pouty or all those type
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of things. Things that I really believe if a parent
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has no knowledge of team sports, or has never coached
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or tried to build a culture in sports, would even understand.
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And again everything goes back to the parents, right, if
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you can't explain to your kid that, okay, maybe it's
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not your skill. Maybe it's the energy that you bring
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on the court because you've been pouting for the last
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thirty minutes because you didn't start today. So yeah, it's
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a very interesting topic.
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I don't know.
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I think like, if you want to upset a coach,
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do something that you know you weren't coached to do.
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If you want to infuriate a coach, do something he
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told you not to do, like I specifically told you
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don't do that. But the kid is listened to some
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other outside force, whether it be a parent or trainer,
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you know, or something that they and I told you
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don't do that, and they go out and do it anyway.
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Now you're sitting down like it's just it's just, it's
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no conversation, it's nothing over. But the parent will have
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a hard time understanding the technical aspect of it, or
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the technique behind it, or the reasoning behind it. And
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they just hear, oh, you don't like my kid. You know,
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somebody else made a mistake. But it's like, no, he
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didn't make that mistake. We talked to your son about
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that mistake, and he did it anyway, So you know what,
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sit down.
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Yeah.
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And another thing that can get at least for me
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as a coach in a doghouse, how you carry yourself
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off the field. The things that you're doing off the
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field that can be detrimental to our team. I always
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preach you the kids, man, the things that you do
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when we're not looking can come back and haunt us,
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you know. Being a high school coach, I had a
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kid who got into a fight. We're in the middle
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of practice and some kids came to our practice the fight,
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and I have to tell these kids like, hey, this
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is a football team. All of them gonna jump on y'all.
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Y'all know that, right, it's five of y'all, it's forty
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something to them. Don't do that because next thing, you
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know what, do those kids come with a gun because
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they're thinking they're gonna get jumped on by.
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Forty kids, you know.
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And then another thing like your effort in practice, or
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as I tell my son, your perceived effort in practice.
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You can go out there and be killing in practice,
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but if you're not that hyph guy, that raw rock guy,
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look at me, look what I just did in practice.
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Sometimes coaches be like, oh, he's just good, but he
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ain't got no passion, or you know what, he ain't
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really invested in this, and they look at you in
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a different way when you got a guy who you
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know he ain't gonna make that play, but he died
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for the ball anyway, or he yelling and scream and
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look at me. I'm Sometimes coaches love love that because
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they feel like kids they have that passion and energy,
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because I know I had to suffer from that. I
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wasn't a big row rack guy. And I just remember
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one time in practice at UCLA, I'm killing his practice,
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but you know it's practice. I don't really care. Those
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stats don't matter. The coach said, hey, you got to
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get better effort. Like me, get better effort. It's called
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three touchdown passes and one drill. What are you talking about?
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He was like nah.
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And then the kid when our players teammates doe for
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a ball, missed the ball by two yards, but he
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does He's like, that's the type of effort. Like coach,
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he didn't make the play, he didn't even make the play.
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You want that to do that, But I'm not about
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to dive on the ground and practice, probably dislocate my
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shoulder or you know, get hurt and now I ain't
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ready for the game. So sometimes it's that perceived effort
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or that the perception. As I tell kids, your perception
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can become your reality. People don't feel that you care,
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are giving up effort, or you just that dog, even
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though you probably are.
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You're just gonna be seen in a certain light.
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Yeah, that perception is It's a very interesting one because
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I think, you know, at the end of the day,
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I think a lot of people parents, coaches, they forget that.
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You know, at the end of the day, everybody's human
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and our perceptions are not always fat. But we have
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a tendency to rely and respond based on that perception.
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And I know someone right now that you know is
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perceived to be a certain type of I guess parent,
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right because they do have coaching experience, and in my
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experience with that person, like they are totally not coaching
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on the bench, They're cheering, They're being a parent, They're
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being frustrated just like any other parent, you know, whether
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their kid makes a mistake or you know, someone else
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on the team, like you know, we all sit back
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there sometimes like what are you doing? What was that?
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Because you know, we don't play anymore, but we still
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have this passion for it as well, and it's very
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hard to sit there sometimes and be silent. But I
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think the perception is that, you know, maybe we're passing judgment.
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Maybe we don't think the coach is doing a good job,
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or maybe we thought the coach made a at sub
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or he should have done or she should have done
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something different or better. And I really think that sometimes
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that perception can probably be cleared up. I don't know
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how somebody would clear that up. How could a parent
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fix that perception if they know that they have a
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certain level of energy, let's say, on the on the
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bench that the coach may perceive as a challenge, Like,
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how could a parent even go about, you know, fixing that.
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Jim, I'll let you go ahead.
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Well, one of the things I do, especially when it
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comes to football, our track and field, I don't even
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mention that I played, or I ran or did any
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of those things, because sometimes once the coach start probing
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into who you are, they start feeling intimidated by it.
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So I try to stay as far back as I
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possibly can. I'll talk with the coach he how can
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I improve my son? What is it that you're looking for?
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And those are times how you can change that. Hey, coach,
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what can I work with my kid when we're not
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here to make him be better in your system? Because
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we also got to understand that a our systems, your
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kid might not fit in a certain system. He's a
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certain type of player or she's a certain type of
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player that doesn't fit this system, and the honest coach,
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you'd be like, hey, you know what, you should send
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them there. They'll fit in this system a little bit better.
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But sometimes coaches want to hoard the talent, so they're like, oh, well,
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let them do this, let them do that. So I always,
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as a parent, I don't even talk about what I did,
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who I am, or what any of those type of
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things because they'd be like, oh really, oh yeah, I
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remember you. That can become intimidating for a coach because
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they're going to be looking to see what you're saying
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about them or what you're saying about their program. I
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try to do my best to grip my teeth and
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not say nothing in the stands. Like I said, their friends,
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their family members, anybody could be in another parent who'd
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be like, uh huh, he talking bad about your coach
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doing those type of things. So I try my best
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to be silent. I get disappointed when any kid makes
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a bad play. I don't talk bad about another player,
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another parent's kid or anything like that, or be like, man,
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what are they doing out there? Because I know you
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probably called a play and to play with the work.
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One person made a mistake and now the whole player
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is going off, so now everything looks bad. So I
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always do my best to just kind of sit back
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when I get a chance. It's always just me and
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a coach, never any other people that's around to hear anything.
351
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So I can be like, hey, coach, what can I do?
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Because I don't want to feel like I'm gaslighting them
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or making them look bad in front of the other parents.
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So a lot of times the parents is about the
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tactfulness of how you approach that coach and the things
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that you're saying in the stance.
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I agree with you, Jim, because I just think about
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it's just a relationship and the communication that you have
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with the coach, and you know, in fairness of parents,
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coaches make mistakes, right and parents may not notice because
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it might not always be a parent, But coaches have
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knocked down drag out fistfight meetings about why certain decisions
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were made right and so you know, they don't agree.
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They was like, coach, I don't like what you call
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why are we doing this? And so whatever you you
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highlighted as a parent, ninety percent of the time, it's
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been addressed within the coaching staff at a much higher
368
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level and a much more intense level. So it's not
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that you're saying something that the coach is just totally
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oblivious to.
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You know.
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A lot of times, you know, especially when you have
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a staff. You know, if you got one coach coaching
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in like a small team or something like that, that
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might be a little bit different. But I'm talking about
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when you actually have a staff. But my suggestion would
377
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be that the parents should have a conversation with the
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00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:39.680
coach more about the technical aspect of the game, right,
379
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or the schematic aspect of the game. And so I
380
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really enjoy and appreciate passionate parents, you know, because you
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need a kid with some heart, you know, Like my
382
00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:54.799
best football players were the mothers that was that had heart,
383
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:57.759
Like the mothers was was hard. It wasn't that it
384
00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:00.599
was the mama. Right, you got a mama that's hard.
385
00:19:00.680 --> 00:19:02.839
That kid gonna be tough, like that's what you need.
386
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That's adult. We hope, we hope.
387
00:19:06.279 --> 00:19:09.480
Time like you know, it's a it's a connection. Like
388
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when you go look back at those players who were
389
00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:13.480
the toughest players, they had a tough moment.
390
00:19:13.640 --> 00:19:14.920
You know they mom didn't play.
391
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And so but this is my suggestion that I think
392
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now I'm saying and starting to build out.
393
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You know, what attention is coming in.
394
00:19:24.599 --> 00:19:28.519
The parent hires a trainer, right, and the parent becomes
395
00:19:28.559 --> 00:19:31.880
financially invested in the kid. But the parent did not
396
00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:35.720
do their due diligence on the trainer. So that trainer
397
00:19:35.799 --> 00:19:40.799
might be an NFL player or x NBA player, but.
398
00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:45.160
They never actually coach kids, right, And so that you.
399
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:47.680
Know, the parents think, oh, this person has instant credibility
400
00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:50.559
because they've played in the NFL. And they said, twenty
401
00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:53.799
five of my players have gotten offers. Twenty five the
402
00:19:53.880 --> 00:19:56.920
kids that I trained. But they weren't twenty five kids
403
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:59.759
that you coached. There were twenty five kids that might
404
00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:02.119
have can and been worked out with you. That night
405
00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:05.559
came from another program who had all the twenty five offers,
406
00:20:05.559 --> 00:20:07.400
So they had the twenty five offers before they.
407
00:20:07.319 --> 00:20:09.720
Got to you. You just worked them out right.
408
00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:13.759
And so the conflict comes when that trainer teaches a
409
00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:15.680
different technique than that coach.
410
00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:16.880
Right.
411
00:20:17.160 --> 00:20:19.000
And I think the best example I could give is
412
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:22.319
Dion Sanders right, when you backpedal and you come out
413
00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:25.920
of a break as a cornerback, there's two philosophies. One
414
00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:27.799
is kind of like a bicycle, you of your feet
415
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:30.720
just rotate back right. And there's another one that's called
416
00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:32.759
the T step where you turn laterally and then you
417
00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:38.240
pushed and you lunch forward right. Hall of Fame cornerbacks
418
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:41.400
and have have been learning to the T steps since
419
00:20:41.440 --> 00:20:45.480
the beginning the time Leon Sanders despises it. He hated right,
420
00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:48.480
he refuses to do it. Now, if you get in
421
00:20:48.519 --> 00:20:52.480
that game and you tea step, Dion is gonna be
422
00:20:52.599 --> 00:20:55.319
upset if you tea step and get beat.
423
00:20:55.480 --> 00:20:57.119
He going through the roof like you.
424
00:20:57.079 --> 00:21:00.440
Could forget it, right, And so you you got to
425
00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.400
make sure that your trainer actually was a coach, and
426
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:06.000
that trainer should probably have a conversation with the coach
427
00:21:06.039 --> 00:21:07.440
and say, hey, what.
428
00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:10.039
Are you working on how do I improve this?
429
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:12.640
What are the things that we reinforce so that the
430
00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:14.839
kid doesn't get in the game and do something that
431
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:18.200
the coach totally disagrees with. Right, So you know, I
432
00:21:18.680 --> 00:21:21.400
do think now with the evolution of sports and trainers
433
00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:24.920
coming into it, parents need to ensure that the trainer
434
00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:28.319
contacts the coach because that coach is not going to
435
00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:29.839
reach out to the trainer because you don't even know
436
00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:32.559
who you hired a lot of times, right, So make
437
00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:35.240
sure that whoever you hire, that trainer talks to the
438
00:21:35.279 --> 00:21:38.039
coach and say, hey, what scheme are you wanting, what
439
00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:40.240
techniques are you running? What do you want me to
440
00:21:40.279 --> 00:21:44.920
reinforce with this kid? And now the conversation will be
441
00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:46.799
natural between the parent.
442
00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:47.480
And the coach. Right.
443
00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:49.799
And now you have that so you can talk about
444
00:21:49.799 --> 00:21:51.920
anything at that point, you know, because you guys are
445
00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:53.160
all invested collectively.
446
00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:58.440
Yes, I just don't see a trainer thing that forthcoming
447
00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:01.480
to contact a coach. I think at the end of
448
00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:03.799
the day, it's probably a job for them. I mean,
449
00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:07.960
do they care that much? Again, I can't you speak
450
00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:09.839
on it one way or the other, but I can
451
00:22:09.880 --> 00:22:12.519
assure you, you know, for the most part, anybody that's
452
00:22:12.599 --> 00:22:15.079
trained my daughter, although it's not for football, and maybe
453
00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:18.880
football and basketball or football and volleyball trainers are not
454
00:22:19.079 --> 00:22:23.400
you know, created equal. But I don't think anybody that's
455
00:22:23.400 --> 00:22:26.599
ever trained my daughter even had the mindset and say,
456
00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:29.119
let me contact the coach and see what I should
457
00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:29.680
be working on.
458
00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:32.400
And let me ask you this. Have you ever asked
459
00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:33.960
the trainer to contact the coach?
460
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:34.240
No?
461
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:36.480
I have none, And so I think that's just a
462
00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:39.400
difference because the trainer wants to get paid, right they
463
00:22:39.480 --> 00:22:41.160
and they understand what the issues are.
464
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And if you go to the trainer and just say hey,
465
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I want to hire.
466
00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:47.599
You, but I really would think it might be best
467
00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:50.519
or prudent to just contact the coach so the coach
468
00:22:50.519 --> 00:22:53.160
can tell you what my child needs to work on.
469
00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:57.359
I've had conversations with the coach and I have asked
470
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what my child needs to work on, and I relay
471
00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:03.559
that information to the trainer. But again, maybe it's a
472
00:23:03.559 --> 00:23:06.319
little bit different because in football you're talking a lot
473
00:23:06.359 --> 00:23:10.240
more technical, like you're talking about certain ways of running
474
00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:14.319
and pivoting and bicycle versus t steps. I think it's
475
00:23:14.359 --> 00:23:18.480
a little bit different because there aren't like plays, so
476
00:23:18.519 --> 00:23:21.039
to speak that you would necessarily get trained on. It's
477
00:23:21.079 --> 00:23:25.599
mostly like hitting techniques and footwork, which is not a standard.
478
00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:31.960
Well, I mean, I just think the trainers, I don't.
479
00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:34.559
I know a few trainers and I've never had them
480
00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:38.119
have a problem talking to a coach, but nobody really
481
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:39.039
just ever asked me.
482
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:41.160
You ask them, just.
483
00:23:41.160 --> 00:23:43.799
Say, hey, can you make sure can you call coach
484
00:23:43.880 --> 00:23:45.880
so and so so that we're all on the same
485
00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:49.039
page in terms of what the poor is in terms
486
00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:51.279
of this training, you know, for the next six weeks.
487
00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:53.200
And now I'm sure they'll be like, yeah, it's cool
488
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:55.440
because the trainer wants those kids.
489
00:23:56.359 --> 00:23:57.599
So now if you become a.
490
00:23:57.640 --> 00:24:00.640
Trainer for that program, that's just a pipeline of money
491
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:01.160
that comes in.
492
00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:04.160
Yeah. So you know, you know.
493
00:24:05.319 --> 00:24:08.559
I agree with Terry on these things. But also trainers
494
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:11.440
have to be truthful with what they're doing. My cousin
495
00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:14.599
wanted me to work his son out one time, and
496
00:24:14.680 --> 00:24:17.599
you have to know what you're looking at for specific programs.
497
00:24:17.799 --> 00:24:19.400
I went out there and said, let me see some
498
00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:20.640
of your stuff. I had him run a couple of
499
00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:23.079
routes and then I was like, hey, you know what,
500
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:26.240
his coach got him right, Because this is our key,
501
00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:29.400
the things that they're teaching in their system. Right, I'm
502
00:24:29.400 --> 00:24:32.839
not going to not try to change any of that
503
00:24:32.839 --> 00:24:34.720
that's correct for what they're doing. I'm just seeing how
504
00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:36.960
he run his routes because I already know, Okay, they
505
00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:39.039
run this type of spread offense where they're doing these
506
00:24:39.079 --> 00:24:41.240
motions and they're doing these cuts when they're making their
507
00:24:41.319 --> 00:24:44.839
certain routes, when they're breaking their routes. I can double
508
00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.519
down on that, but I don't need to because he
509
00:24:46.519 --> 00:24:48.720
already knows that. You know, we'll just be out here
510
00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:51.079
just wasting our time. He's just getting extra reps out here.
511
00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:52.920
But he needs to be out here doing is working
512
00:24:52.920 --> 00:24:55.680
with his quarterback. Now, call his quarterback on the weekend
513
00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:58.200
and say, hey man, you want to throw. That's how
514
00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:00.559
it's going to get you more burn or run because
515
00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:03.799
guess who's advocating for you now, your quarterback. Hey man,
516
00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:06.759
get old boy out here. We've been working. He got
517
00:25:06.759 --> 00:25:09.599
a coach because that's who we're gonna feel comfortable with.
518
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:12.880
So sometimes a trainer like Jerry said that you're a client.
519
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:15.039
They want that money. Man, be truthful, man, I can't
520
00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:18.079
really help your kid. I can't teach that technique or
521
00:25:18.119 --> 00:25:19.960
I'm not good at teaching that technique. I'm willing to
522
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:23.759
go learn so I can try to help. But sometimes
523
00:25:25.440 --> 00:25:26.400
you just got to be truthful.
524
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:29.519
Hey man, look that dude, his stuff is Chris. He
525
00:25:29.640 --> 00:25:30.039
got that.
526
00:25:30.119 --> 00:25:32.319
He don't really need more work except for going working
527
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:35.359
with his teammates. Now he don't really need me. And
528
00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:37.599
then sometimes training. But once again, that's how a lot
529
00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:39.920
of them get paid. It's their business, it's their job,
530
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.480
so they're gonna want that money. Whether they're teaching your kid,
531
00:25:42.519 --> 00:25:45.240
anything's going to elevate their skill level or elevate them
532
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:48.440
as a player. But also those trainers got to breathe
533
00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:50.200
life into those kids because you can teach them all
534
00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:52.400
the technique, but if that kid don't have confidence in
535
00:25:52.440 --> 00:25:54.960
themselves even though they got all the technique, but you
536
00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:57.519
just taught them, you just took money and you're letting
537
00:25:57.519 --> 00:25:59.519
that kid go out there and swim. Sometimes it's the
538
00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:02.839
mentality that then we don't have enough training for that.
539
00:26:03.079 --> 00:26:04.759
This is the mentality you need to have in order
540
00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:06.920
to be good at this, you know, even if it's
541
00:26:06.920 --> 00:26:08.920
just being a role player, this is the mentality you.
542
00:26:08.920 --> 00:26:09.359
Need to have.
543
00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:12.880
Robert Ory, that's all I can say, Robert Ordy, great
544
00:26:12.880 --> 00:26:13.440
at what he did.
545
00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:19.000
Yeah, you know, interesting question for you guys. I can't
546
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:23.079
wait to hear the responses for this. Why would one
547
00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:29.519
player on a team have a much shorter leash than
548
00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:36.000
another player who maybe, let's say equally yoke in terms
549
00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:41.720
of their play, But one player A makes a mistake
550
00:26:42.680 --> 00:26:47.039
get subbed out player B can make that mistake ten
551
00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:51.480
times in stay in. What is the coach's mentality on
552
00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:54.599
that and why do you think it happens? Or if
553
00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:57.039
you've ever done it, why have you done that?
554
00:26:58.920 --> 00:27:14.319
Because your mama fine, you know, I'm gonna be honest
555
00:27:14.359 --> 00:27:16.839
with you if you all right?
556
00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:19.440
This is one extreme? All right? This is extreme left.
557
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:21.319
And I'm gonna follow up with Jim and I kind
558
00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:24.720
of think about it in this context, whether it be
559
00:27:24.759 --> 00:27:30.359
an a U coach, a you football coach, or Samson
560
00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:34.279
in the Bible, right, they all got the same kryptonite.
561
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:36.519
It's that sun dress. When that sun.
562
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:41.079
Dress come walking across the right, the ref see you,
563
00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:45.079
the coaches see you, the parents see you. That is
564
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:53.480
a real factor. I'm just telling you the game pasing
565
00:27:53.559 --> 00:27:58.559
out there. So that is one extreme, but on a
566
00:27:58.599 --> 00:28:02.200
more serious extreme, right I do think it comes down
567
00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:06.599
to trust. Right, that person made a mistake, But I
568
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:09.400
trust this kid because I've seen him put in the work.
569
00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:12.880
I've seen him take this shot a thousand times, you know.
570
00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:14.839
So if he makes some mistakes on a play or
571
00:28:14.839 --> 00:28:18.400
gets lost in stuff with something, that kid normally is
572
00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:20.960
the one that's calling out the play, that's calling out
573
00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:24.279
the defense. So it's just a higher level of trust
574
00:28:24.640 --> 00:28:26.720
because that kid put in the work or I've.
575
00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:29.079
Seen them do it a million times, you know.
576
00:28:29.319 --> 00:28:32.480
And so you know, coaching sometimes it's an energy, it's
577
00:28:32.559 --> 00:28:35.000
a feeling, you know, it's just who you believe in,
578
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:38.839
and it comes down to trust. It's just it comes
579
00:28:38.839 --> 00:28:41.799
down to trust. And for some coaches that come down
580
00:28:41.799 --> 00:28:46.079
to the sun dress, it's just what it is. Sun dress,
581
00:28:46.359 --> 00:28:50.319
that's what you gets, you know.
582
00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:55.240
Yeah, I don't think that's going to be an option
583
00:28:55.359 --> 00:28:58.839
for me. But I'm just trying to see how that
584
00:28:59.079 --> 00:29:02.759
happens and if there's any way that that can be repaired.
585
00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:07.480
How does a kid have a coach or make a
586
00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:10.920
coach trust them Outside of practice, this kid puts in
587
00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:13.279
you know, a lot of energy, a lot of work.
588
00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:18.359
In practice, they show up to practice right and they
589
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:21.799
still don't necessarily get that coach's trust.
590
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:25.480
Yeah, to kick it to a higher level. What Terry's saying,
591
00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:29.119
it's the intentionality of the mistake that you made. Sometimes
592
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:32.000
you can be wrong and be right at the same time, like, oh,
593
00:29:32.119 --> 00:29:35.599
I made the wrong block, but that block actually sprung
594
00:29:35.720 --> 00:29:39.319
that person, you know, because now the coach got to
595
00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:41.079
have that conversation with you, Hey, why did you block
596
00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:42.119
that guy instead of that guy?
597
00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:44.640
Man? Coach, that dude over there week, he ain't making
598
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:45.400
no tackles.
599
00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:48.359
But if I blocked that dude, who's gonna make He
600
00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:50.000
then already had ten tackles today.
601
00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:50.400
You know.
602
00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:52.240
If I blocked that dude, they ain't nobody else making
603
00:29:52.279 --> 00:29:54.039
a tackle. So now my back is going to So
604
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:56.279
it's intentionality of the mistakes that you make.
605
00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:57.599
Because sometimes a player.
606
00:29:57.720 --> 00:30:00.200
You know, and I'm quite sure all of us within
607
00:30:00.200 --> 00:30:02.079
the athletes, we know like, hey, man, you know what
608
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:04.440
if I do this instead of that on his plate,
609
00:30:04.519 --> 00:30:07.720
this is gonna work your intentionality of that mistake. So, yeah,
610
00:30:07.799 --> 00:30:10.359
you make that mistake, and the coach might be heeded
611
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:11.559
at you, man, why did you do that?
612
00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:12.880
Then he watched the film and.
613
00:30:12.839 --> 00:30:16.480
Go, oh, I see why he did that, and that's where,
614
00:30:16.519 --> 00:30:17.920
like Terry said, the trust come in.
615
00:30:18.200 --> 00:30:19.160
I trusted this player.
616
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:21.920
He's not only just thinking out there on the field,
617
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:24.920
he's willing to go I'm gonna take this risk right
618
00:30:24.920 --> 00:30:27.599
now because this is what's gonna make this play break
619
00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:29.920
or it's gonna make set something else up because they
620
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:31.599
gonna see me do this. He gonna like, oh, they're
621
00:30:31.640 --> 00:30:34.119
running that play again. We totally ran a whole different play,
622
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:37.400
and now my teammate is breaking for a long run.
623
00:30:37.519 --> 00:30:39.279
Or my teammate came off the screen and hit this
624
00:30:39.319 --> 00:30:41.519
shot because you're thinking, I'm cutting to the basket just
625
00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:43.359
to be cutting to the basket. Actually I'm setting the
626
00:30:43.400 --> 00:30:45.720
screen so he can get free and hit this shot.
627
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:49.079
So sometimes it's the intentionality of that mistake, and sometimes
628
00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:51.720
coaches understand that that kid is out there he's thinking
629
00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:53.960
he's just another coach on the field, like yeah, he
630
00:30:54.039 --> 00:30:57.720
might make you know, two mistakes out of every ten
631
00:30:57.799 --> 00:31:00.759
times we run something, but those mistakes are based on
632
00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:03.200
something that he's seen as a player, and I know
633
00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:04.759
as a coach, you know, sometimes you got to put
634
00:31:04.799 --> 00:31:07.279
your ego aside. I would tell my quarterbacks Secual, you
635
00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:10.400
my quarterbacks bru if you see something, change the play.
636
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:12.880
You know how to audible, you know the plays. I'm
637
00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:15.200
seeing it from the sideline. You're looking at it right
638
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:18.759
there in real time, right in your face. You call it,
639
00:31:19.359 --> 00:31:21.640
call it yep. And that's and that's the trust of it. Now,
640
00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:24.680
if he makes a mistake, hey man, what did you see?
641
00:31:24.799 --> 00:31:27.279
Because you already trust that player while the other player,
642
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:28.839
hey man, what you do while you run that route?
643
00:31:28.839 --> 00:31:30.440
Because coach, if I ran streak on this, I was
644
00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:32.200
going to be open. But that ain't the play.
645
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:32.839
You know.
646
00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:35.039
Now, the quarterback don't know where you're at. He's throwing
647
00:31:35.119 --> 00:31:37.640
to a spot that you're supposed to be at. So
648
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:40.039
you can't do that. So unless you and a quarterback
649
00:31:40.039 --> 00:31:42.640
have already talked that and established that, don't do that again,
650
00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:45.440
you know. So yeah, that's the reason why, Like Terry said,
651
00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:48.640
it's the trust, and I add the intentionality of these
652
00:31:48.680 --> 00:31:51.200
mistakes these kids are making or the players are making.
653
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:55.279
And sometimes too, you know, and I've seen this a lot.
654
00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:58.079
Like I've seen this a lot at various levels, is
655
00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:02.160
that some times as a coach, you have to show
656
00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:07.319
a player more grace because you know what's going on
657
00:32:07.400 --> 00:32:10.240
with them off the field, like, I know this kid
658
00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:13.119
is now homeless. I know this kid just lost his parent.
659
00:32:13.240 --> 00:32:16.279
I know this kid just lost their job. You know,
660
00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:18.759
I know this kid is going through some different things,
661
00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:22.640
and so you know, this sport is what keeps them
662
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:25.440
saying and what keeps them focused, and.
663
00:32:25.400 --> 00:32:28.880
So sometimes they're just not all there that day, you know.
664
00:32:29.480 --> 00:32:32.160
But you know, you have to be able to be
665
00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:34.440
able to say to that kid, Okay, don't worry about it,
666
00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:37.400
just keep playing. It's cool because you just know that
667
00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:39.640
they're not there, but the other parents and the other
668
00:32:39.720 --> 00:32:42.359
kids don't know. And so you know, at face value
669
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:44.440
just kind of seems like you're playing favorites or you're
670
00:32:44.440 --> 00:32:45.400
allowing certain things.
671
00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:47.920
But sometimes as a coach, you really.
672
00:32:47.640 --> 00:32:51.400
Have to balance the off the field issues and pour
673
00:32:51.519 --> 00:32:54.039
into that kid because that kid just really needs a hood.
674
00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:56.799
He just there for a hood that day his mind there,
675
00:32:56.880 --> 00:32:58.839
you know what I mean. So sometimes that's a.
676
00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:02.640
Factor to one of the things that you said earlier, Terry,
677
00:33:02.680 --> 00:33:06.079
you were talking about how I believe it was to
678
00:33:06.119 --> 00:33:09.200
do that said you were open to parents coming and
679
00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:11.400
talking to you, or maybe it was you, Jim, But
680
00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:17.000
there are a lot of coaches that despise having conversations
681
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:20.640
with parents. They don't want to have those type of
682
00:33:20.680 --> 00:33:24.200
conversations as to why my kids not playing or what
683
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:27.079
can they do better? It's like they avoid it, you know,
684
00:33:27.279 --> 00:33:30.400
by all means. So I don't even know if other
685
00:33:30.480 --> 00:33:33.240
sports are like this, because I don't think basketball was
686
00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:36.160
to my knowledge, but like in volleyball, they have this
687
00:33:36.319 --> 00:33:38.279
rule where you can't even talk to the coach like
688
00:33:38.319 --> 00:33:41.079
twenty four hours after the game. Is that something that
689
00:33:41.319 --> 00:33:43.119
you guys share as well.
690
00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:45.240
No.
691
00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:48.759
I always tell the parents to have a parent meeting. Hey,
692
00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:51.359
it's your kid. You should be invested in your kid
693
00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:53.720
and you should be asking questions. And that's why you
694
00:33:53.799 --> 00:33:56.400
have a complete staff. It's been times where I didn't
695
00:33:56.440 --> 00:33:59.119
have no interaction to practice. I was just talking to
696
00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:02.960
parents coaches running the practice because it's just like, hey,
697
00:34:03.079 --> 00:34:05.480
you need to have that investment in your kid. Your
698
00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:08.159
kid needs to see you invested in them as well.
699
00:34:08.400 --> 00:34:11.280
So you know, I don't mind you coming to practice.
700
00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:14.039
Now you can't come up with their cussing and fussing. Hey, coach,
701
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:15.559
can I have a word with you. I will most
702
00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:18.400
definitely give a parent time, because who knows when that
703
00:34:18.480 --> 00:34:21.159
parent does have time, they're working they probably got other
704
00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:23.360
kids and other things to go. I want to know
705
00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:26.440
the parent behind the kid as well, so I'm always
706
00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:28.800
open to having parents come talk to me. And that's
707
00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:31.159
why you build a good staff, not just the staff
708
00:34:31.159 --> 00:34:33.320
of guys you knows. You build a good staff for
709
00:34:33.400 --> 00:34:35.280
people that you trust, people that you know that's going
710
00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:37.199
to have be on the same page as you when
711
00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:39.599
it comes to that. I'll handle the parents. I'll handle that.
712
00:34:39.639 --> 00:34:42.199
You guys handled the football, you guys handled the basketball.
713
00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:44.559
Y'all handle all of that stuff. And I'll be that
714
00:34:44.639 --> 00:34:47.320
facilitative with administrators. I'll bet that fatilis lator with the
715
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:49.679
parents who do those things like that, because I have
716
00:34:49.800 --> 00:34:52.199
to understand that you are investing in your kid. I
717
00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:54.519
had a kid that got hurt. Parent wasn't even at
718
00:34:54.519 --> 00:34:57.079
the game. I spent the whole time at the hospital.
719
00:34:57.239 --> 00:34:58.840
Now as a kid, where your parents, Oh, they probably
720
00:34:58.840 --> 00:35:00.679
I don't watching TV, so they don't want to come
721
00:35:00.679 --> 00:35:02.880
on a Friday night to come see you play pictures
722
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:05.280
at home watching TV, I have to wait three hours
723
00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:06.840
for the parent to finally show up. I don't know
724
00:35:06.840 --> 00:35:09.519
what's show there's watching. It's a good show, but I
725
00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:11.400
stayed at the hospital with their care for three hours.
726
00:35:11.400 --> 00:35:14.280
So I want the parents to feel comfortable enough to go, hey, coach,
727
00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:17.719
what's going on with my kid? Or you know, some
728
00:35:17.880 --> 00:35:19.880
parents don't even want their kids to play, coach, and
729
00:35:19.960 --> 00:35:23.639
you convince me why my kids should be out here playing, right,
730
00:35:23.719 --> 00:35:25.679
you know, So I don't mind.
731
00:35:26.079 --> 00:35:28.360
And I also think it's on the level at which
732
00:35:28.440 --> 00:35:32.239
they play that also differentiate the level of interaction between
733
00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:35.400
the parents, you know, all the way through high school,
734
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:39.159
you know, parents you know, definitely communicate with coaches. They
735
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:41.239
can have a parent meeting, they can ask for a
736
00:35:41.280 --> 00:35:44.440
personal meeting, they can come talk to them at different times.
737
00:35:44.519 --> 00:35:47.119
And you know, I don't know a high school coach
738
00:35:47.159 --> 00:35:49.679
that has ever said I'm not talking to your parents.
739
00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:51.679
You know, like they will have a conversation.
740
00:35:51.719 --> 00:35:53.880
They may not keep talking to them, but they will
741
00:35:53.880 --> 00:35:57.480
give them, you know, a few initial conversations. Right, college
742
00:35:57.639 --> 00:36:00.880
not so much, you know, not so much. They don't
743
00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:03.880
really have no time for your parents, right. But I
744
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:11.519
just think that it's a regional thing too. So in California,
745
00:36:12.880 --> 00:36:17.519
you recruit the kid down south, you recruit the parent
746
00:36:18.239 --> 00:36:20.199
because the parents tell.
747
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:22.119
Their kids where they going to school down south?
748
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:25.280
Right, in California, a kid to say, no, I'm choosing
749
00:36:25.320 --> 00:36:27.920
this school, this is where I'm going. So's it's a
750
00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:31.559
total different dynamic, you know. And so you know California
751
00:36:31.639 --> 00:36:33.639
is they you know, they really do empower their kids
752
00:36:33.639 --> 00:36:36.079
to make choices and stuff like that. And so that's
753
00:36:36.119 --> 00:36:38.679
also a different dynamic because just some of those Southern
754
00:36:38.760 --> 00:36:40.480
roots and values and stuff like that.
755
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:41.719
Those things matter.
756
00:36:41.880 --> 00:36:44.880
Like you'll never get a kid from South down South
757
00:36:44.920 --> 00:36:47.320
to come to your school if the parent or his
758
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:50.599
uncle or somebody in that family don't sign off on you,
759
00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:53.440
like you have to have that. So they maintain those
760
00:36:53.480 --> 00:36:56.360
relationships during college. And you know, you won't get another
761
00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:59.119
player from that town if you don't have a positive
762
00:36:59.119 --> 00:37:00.159
relationship with that here.
763
00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:01.880
They just not gonna send them to you, you know.
764
00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:06.000
And so your your parent is your best recruiting tool
765
00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:09.480
because that mother needs to talk to another mother and
766
00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:11.320
be like, yeah, he took care of my boy when
767
00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:13.480
I sent him out there. You know that's two thousand
768
00:37:13.559 --> 00:37:17.440
miles away. So it depends on the level that the
769
00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:20.400
kid is that that that that you know, in terms
770
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:21.480
of the interactional.
771
00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:23.719
Opinion, I can't wait to get back into coaching.
772
00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:31.320
I said that, Okay, change I.
773
00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:34.440
Actually feel like that. I feel like the relationship between
774
00:37:35.079 --> 00:37:39.880
parents and coaches are so important, and I've been around
775
00:37:40.039 --> 00:37:42.679
a lot of coaches that just don't really seem to
776
00:37:42.840 --> 00:37:47.880
connect with the parents. And all the teams that that
777
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:50.719
my daughter has been fortunate to play on, the parents
778
00:37:50.760 --> 00:37:55.159
are really involved, and so it's kind of disheartening when
779
00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:58.440
you don't have that connection that I think a lot
780
00:37:58.440 --> 00:38:01.199
of the parents want because as we end up hanging
781
00:38:01.199 --> 00:38:03.639
out together, you know, you invite the coach, and you
782
00:38:03.679 --> 00:38:05.639
want to feel like this is a family. You want
783
00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:09.039
to feel like they care as much for your kid
784
00:38:09.239 --> 00:38:13.599
and their future as you do, because it's just important
785
00:38:13.639 --> 00:38:16.400
to me. And I feel like if a parent is
786
00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:20.119
spending all of their free weekends, you know, driving hours
787
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:22.679
to these games and you know, making sure they're at
788
00:38:22.679 --> 00:38:24.840
practice and being on time, but they kind of deserve
789
00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:28.679
that relationship. They deserve to be let in. And that's
790
00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:30.159
just my take on it. So I can't wait to
791
00:38:30.199 --> 00:38:32.960
get into it so that I can.
792
00:38:32.880 --> 00:38:33.599
Let that happen.
793
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:38.159
Absolutely not.
794
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:44.440
I don't care how absolutely if you are a parent
795
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:47.760
when you say involved, right, yes, if you want to
796
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:51.039
be involved with the road trip and the scheduling and
797
00:38:51.079 --> 00:38:55.360
the food if you want to coach, No, no.
798
00:38:57.119 --> 00:39:01.719
I don't want to coach relationships, relationship with the coach.
799
00:39:01.960 --> 00:39:05.559
I don't want to be on with the coach, you know.
800
00:39:05.880 --> 00:39:09.519
No, that's where that's where the problem lies. Because you're
801
00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:13.079
gonna talk about the game. You're gonna talk about aspects
802
00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:16.440
of the game. Parents cannot help but talk about the
803
00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:21.280
game and what happened. Right, this just you can't help it. Right, So,
804
00:39:21.400 --> 00:39:23.639
if you're gonna coach, then you come on here, you
805
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:26.239
get a whistle, You come down here to practice, You
806
00:39:26.320 --> 00:39:28.480
come down here and do these game plans. You come
807
00:39:28.519 --> 00:39:31.039
down here and watch film, You come down here and
808
00:39:31.079 --> 00:39:33.480
break down the opposing team. So if you want to
809
00:39:33.519 --> 00:39:36.519
have an expert opinion about what we're doing and why
810
00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:38.840
we're doing it, then I'm gonna give you a Huddle
811
00:39:38.880 --> 00:39:41.559
account and you can log on and you can watch
812
00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:45.079
five hours of film on this scouting report, you can
813
00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:47.920
put in the game plan, you can spend eight hours
814
00:39:48.039 --> 00:39:51.079
Monday through Thursday with this kid, and you can have
815
00:39:51.159 --> 00:39:53.320
all opinions you want on Saturday.
816
00:39:53.400 --> 00:39:56.519
Okay, So so welcome's dive into this a little bit deeper,
817
00:39:56.559 --> 00:39:59.679
because maybe this is the disconnect, right because when I
818
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.480
talk about having a relationship with the coach. I don't
819
00:40:02.519 --> 00:40:05.199
want to talk about the game. What I do want
820
00:40:05.239 --> 00:40:08.599
to know is that how my kid plays and how
821
00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:11.760
they feel is as important to them as it is
822
00:40:11.800 --> 00:40:16.719
to me. We could literally be talking about anything else
823
00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:20.039
but the fact that they are there and that they
824
00:40:20.119 --> 00:40:23.760
are a part of our culture, because it is kind
825
00:40:23.760 --> 00:40:26.039
of a culture in the stands and on the bench, right,
826
00:40:26.559 --> 00:40:28.639
we all get along, we're vibing when we go and
827
00:40:28.679 --> 00:40:32.400
hang out after the game. We're not talking about the
828
00:40:32.519 --> 00:40:36.000
game because some people's kids sucked and some people's kids didn't.
829
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:38.960
So why would we be sitting there talking about how
830
00:40:39.159 --> 00:40:43.280
my child did really well and your child sucked. We
831
00:40:43.599 --> 00:40:44.320
talk about that.
832
00:40:45.199 --> 00:40:48.000
Yeah, Yeah, I give with you, Sarah Marlow. But also
833
00:40:48.360 --> 00:40:48.920
you got to.
834
00:40:50.920 --> 00:40:53.199
When you have these good in these parent relationships, like
835
00:40:53.320 --> 00:40:56.639
I always try to find one parent to really engage. Yeah,
836
00:40:56.920 --> 00:40:59.159
because that one parent can get all the other parents
837
00:40:59.199 --> 00:41:01.559
on board because they see how that parent is working,
838
00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:03.840
even if that parent kid ain't playing that much and
839
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:06.119
stuff like that. Sometimes that parent becomes a parent of
840
00:41:06.159 --> 00:41:10.000
other kids who parents aren't there. Their parents are never there,
841
00:41:10.079 --> 00:41:13.480
so you get those parents involved in that aspect. They'll
842
00:41:13.719 --> 00:41:17.199
sometimes filter some of the bad interactions that you will
843
00:41:17.239 --> 00:41:19.519
have because they'll be like, hey, look where you been.
844
00:41:20.320 --> 00:41:22.400
This is your first game. We didn't have five games
845
00:41:22.440 --> 00:41:24.559
while you're here talking, but you ain't being here. You
846
00:41:24.599 --> 00:41:26.440
don't know what coach is doing with these kids. You
847
00:41:26.519 --> 00:41:29.760
know how much money coach is putting in your kid's stomach.
848
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:31.519
You know what I'm saying, because your kid eats and
849
00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:33.760
we all feeding your kid. But now you hear in
850
00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:35.960
an opinion and with this and this and that. So
851
00:41:36.039 --> 00:41:39.960
sometimes the more positive interactions is not that you have
852
00:41:40.079 --> 00:41:43.159
this whole parent group. You get that one parent that's
853
00:41:43.239 --> 00:41:46.039
kind of like the lead parent. That parent will let
854
00:41:46.119 --> 00:41:48.119
you let other parents know this is the culture of
855
00:41:48.119 --> 00:41:51.679
how things are being done. Can that backfire? Sometimes it can,
856
00:41:52.039 --> 00:41:55.000
But a lot of times that parent who's helped facilitate
857
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:56.559
the culture of what you're trying to do because they
858
00:41:56.559 --> 00:41:57.239
see your vision.
859
00:41:58.039 --> 00:42:02.119
It works. Miracles, it works, wonders my quarterback.
860
00:42:02.119 --> 00:42:04.239
This year, I'll let her dad be on the sideline
861
00:42:04.559 --> 00:42:07.800
every game because the kids were like, when he's there,
862
00:42:07.840 --> 00:42:10.239
he's encouraging, he's pumping them up. Even when I'm yelling
863
00:42:10.239 --> 00:42:12.639
at his daughter for throwing a pick six, are yelling
864
00:42:12.679 --> 00:42:14.639
her because she went on her own tangent and did
865
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:17.159
something else. He's pumping the other players up. He's being
866
00:42:17.159 --> 00:42:20.480
coached dad, and those those parents are the best parents
867
00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:22.159
to have. So I get that that you want that
868
00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:23.599
that is the perfect interaction.
869
00:42:23.679 --> 00:42:24.960
But it's not going to always.
870
00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:28.000
Be out thank you, thank you, Jim, Jim.
871
00:42:27.920 --> 00:42:35.760
Not right.
872
00:42:39.239 --> 00:42:42.239
He shines my mother like.
873
00:42:42.280 --> 00:42:45.000
Henny spelling like Henny right now, Oh God, here they.
874
00:42:44.920 --> 00:42:49.519
Come, here they come. Oh man, I'm coming to say,
875
00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:51.840
good game, coach, even when we lost. That's what I'm
876
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:54.360
coming to say. But again, I think I have a
877
00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:59.159
different understanding of the whole coaching style. Even if I
878
00:42:59.199 --> 00:43:02.280
don't agree with what the coach is doing or has done,
879
00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:06.039
I kind of keep it to myself because again, like
880
00:43:06.159 --> 00:43:08.599
Jim said earlier, I don't really know what they worked
881
00:43:08.639 --> 00:43:11.760
on in practice or was supposed to happen. All I
882
00:43:11.800 --> 00:43:14.880
know is my child is upset. But that's okay because
883
00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:17.079
for me, it's a life lesson for everything's not going
884
00:43:17.159 --> 00:43:19.360
to go here. What You're not going to always get
885
00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:21.880
everything that you think you deserve. That's just a part
886
00:43:21.880 --> 00:43:25.239
of life. And unfortunately, I don't think a lot of
887
00:43:25.280 --> 00:43:30.440
parents take the life lesson aspect into coaching, like they
888
00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:35.039
probably should. But I definitely can say that I don't
889
00:43:35.039 --> 00:43:37.119
think my daughter's ever had a horrible coach or a
890
00:43:37.199 --> 00:43:40.679
bad coach. Whether I didn't agree with the play or
891
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:44.199
move or a call or whatever, it doesn't make them
892
00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:46.960
a bad coach or even a bad person. So I'm
893
00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:51.400
grateful for all of them. But I do still Terry
894
00:43:51.639 --> 00:43:55.360
wish that, you know, the relationship was a little bit
895
00:43:56.159 --> 00:44:00.360
more connected, even if it's not about discussing us.
896
00:44:00.960 --> 00:44:03.559
What would that relationship look like? What would what would
897
00:44:03.559 --> 00:44:04.840
be the IDA relationship?
898
00:44:05.079 --> 00:44:08.960
Well, so there's really no one right answer, but I'll
899
00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:11.880
give you a couple of examples. Right when I said that,
900
00:44:12.039 --> 00:44:16.480
the other parents and myself included, we get together. Right,
901
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:20.159
we're celebrating these kids because they work hard. Again, win
902
00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:24.559
or loss, they worked hard. So when we're saying, hey,
903
00:44:24.719 --> 00:44:28.239
after the game, we're gonna go take them the I
904
00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:31.719
don't know, Canes seems like the popular spot where everybody
905
00:44:31.719 --> 00:44:33.559
wants to go. Now we're gonna take them to Canes,
906
00:44:33.880 --> 00:44:37.039
and we invite the coach. I expect that, even though
907
00:44:37.199 --> 00:44:39.519
inside they probably don't want to go, that they stopped
908
00:44:39.519 --> 00:44:42.800
by for ten minutes just to say you know, hey,
909
00:44:43.320 --> 00:44:46.119
thanks for working hard, thanks for showing up, thanks for
910
00:44:46.239 --> 00:44:49.639
driving the two hours you know to get them here. Sorry,
911
00:44:49.679 --> 00:44:52.960
we didn't win this time, but you know, good job.
912
00:44:53.400 --> 00:44:55.760
Or if we did win, sit down and have some
913
00:44:55.800 --> 00:44:59.519
freaking nuggets and laughed us. I mean again, it's just
914
00:45:00.239 --> 00:45:03.480
it make a better relationship, right. I understand you guys
915
00:45:03.519 --> 00:45:06.719
are busy, some of you are annoyed because maybe you
916
00:45:06.719 --> 00:45:09.519
didn't get the outcome that you wanted or expected. But
917
00:45:09.800 --> 00:45:14.079
I think that sports teams work better when you have
918
00:45:14.239 --> 00:45:16.199
better relationships with parents.
919
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:19.159
Okay, well it cushion is a losing to you know,
920
00:45:19.199 --> 00:45:22.639
because sometimes you know, I've lost some games and I'm like,
921
00:45:23.239 --> 00:45:25.519
they were just better than us, because the parents want
922
00:45:25.559 --> 00:45:27.920
this full explanation, even the kids on the fulls pailft,
923
00:45:28.320 --> 00:45:29.440
they were better than us.
924
00:45:30.239 --> 00:45:31.559
We did everything that we were.
925
00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:36.559
Supposed to do. They were just better. Look, we won't
926
00:45:36.599 --> 00:45:39.440
play that team again. They're not on our schedule no more.
927
00:45:39.480 --> 00:45:42.119
So let's move on and not let this one defeat
928
00:45:42.360 --> 00:45:44.559
turn into another defeat because we're feeling bad about this.
929
00:45:44.719 --> 00:45:46.960
Sometimes a team is just better, and when you have
930
00:45:47.039 --> 00:45:50.280
that relationship built with the especially with your players and
931
00:45:50.320 --> 00:45:54.159
their parents, you can say that, and they'll yeah, they'll
932
00:45:54.199 --> 00:45:55.800
be mad about it, Oh, coach, you could have did this,
933
00:45:55.880 --> 00:45:57.639
And then they go home and think about it like, yeah,
934
00:45:57.639 --> 00:46:00.519
that team was just better coach, right, that we could
935
00:46:00.519 --> 00:46:01.119
really die.
936
00:46:01.400 --> 00:46:04.559
Yeah, But that brings in another point. You know, why
937
00:46:04.639 --> 00:46:11.000
are parents sometimes not realistic with their child's performance. You know,
938
00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:14.360
when my daughter makes a mistake, I'm the first person
939
00:46:14.360 --> 00:46:16.760
to let her know your hits were off today, like
940
00:46:16.840 --> 00:46:19.199
you need to work on your vertical, Like I tell
941
00:46:19.239 --> 00:46:24.800
her the honest truth because I expect everybody else to
942
00:46:24.840 --> 00:46:27.199
lie to her because they're trying to protect her feelings.
943
00:46:27.199 --> 00:46:30.079
If she can't get the truth from me, then she's
944
00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:31.320
going in trouble, you know.
945
00:46:32.840 --> 00:46:36.840
Yeah, you know you brought up something earlier where you
946
00:46:36.880 --> 00:46:40.519
said there's a twenty four hour rule where you can't
947
00:46:40.519 --> 00:46:42.679
talk to a coach after a game for twenty four.
948
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:47.960
Hours, right, and it might be forty eight, but that's
949
00:46:48.000 --> 00:46:48.960
a long time though.
950
00:46:49.119 --> 00:46:52.679
Telling you it's crazy.
951
00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:55.960
It's I think everybody needs their mental health protected because
952
00:46:56.000 --> 00:46:58.960
it's an emotional roller coaster during the game and the
953
00:46:59.039 --> 00:47:02.320
coach has to come down and they probably need time
954
00:47:03.119 --> 00:47:06.440
to watch the film to give you an honest assessment
955
00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:12.559
about what just happened versus an emotional assessment, because once
956
00:47:12.599 --> 00:47:14.519
I go back and I'm able to watch the film,
957
00:47:14.679 --> 00:47:17.639
I can see exactly what went wrong. I could see
958
00:47:17.679 --> 00:47:21.079
what happened on that particular play versus just coming at
959
00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:24.519
it from memory. Because you know, I do think that
960
00:47:25.039 --> 00:47:27.360
there's some merit to having a window of.
961
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:30.440
Time before you interact with parents.
962
00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:32.199
You know, you have to deal with the team right
963
00:47:32.239 --> 00:47:34.960
after the game, But I don't know if I would
964
00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:40.440
be in the best edge space to talk right after
965
00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:43.480
the game and go eat with with.
966
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:44.719
Parents at that time.
967
00:47:44.960 --> 00:47:47.800
You know, And even when I do press conferences for
968
00:47:47.800 --> 00:47:51.920
the NFL, what most head coaches do before they even
969
00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:56.880
come addressed in media, they will go shower after a game.
970
00:47:57.199 --> 00:47:58.800
They will go take their time.
971
00:47:58.880 --> 00:48:01.840
They'll go shower to just let the water hit them,
972
00:48:02.440 --> 00:48:05.840
kind of decompress for a second, get gather their thoughts,
973
00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:08.960
and then go out and just talk to the media
974
00:48:09.119 --> 00:48:11.559
who's you know, asking them questions or something like that,
975
00:48:11.639 --> 00:48:14.960
because you know, you do have to protect your own
976
00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:17.199
mental health, and I think you'll be a better version
977
00:48:17.239 --> 00:48:23.199
of yourself after you've had that window of opportunity to
978
00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:27.599
to discuss it, you know, right, No, I ad idea
979
00:48:27.599 --> 00:48:29.039
to talk right after a loss.
980
00:48:29.199 --> 00:48:33.280
I actually agree with the rule, even though I don't
981
00:48:33.400 --> 00:48:38.679
like it for myself. But I have control over my emotions.
982
00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:41.559
I'm not you have to you'd have to like physically
983
00:48:41.679 --> 00:48:44.760
assault my child before I'm probably am going to have
984
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:48.480
that much of an opinion on how you coached right.
985
00:48:48.800 --> 00:48:52.000
But I also understand that there are other people that
986
00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:55.079
you know are just a little bit unhinged and are
987
00:48:55.159 --> 00:48:57.679
just looking for an opportunity to jump down your throat.
988
00:48:57.880 --> 00:48:59.800
You know they didn't like to play, why'd you sub
989
00:49:00.199 --> 00:49:04.039
or her out? So I totally understand the rule and
990
00:49:04.400 --> 00:49:08.599
for the most part, agree with it. I think that
991
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:13.760
it's still okay for our group. For example, having the
992
00:49:13.840 --> 00:49:17.360
knowledge that that rule is already in place, in my opinion,
993
00:49:17.760 --> 00:49:20.719
gives you even more reason to come chill with us afterwards,
994
00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:24.519
because now everybody's relaxed. We know we can't talk to
995
00:49:24.519 --> 00:49:27.440
you about the game, we know we can't have a discussion,
996
00:49:27.960 --> 00:49:30.800
so that in itself should be a little bit more
997
00:49:30.840 --> 00:49:32.599
comforting to say, you know what, let me go show
998
00:49:32.679 --> 00:49:34.519
up for ten minutes and let them know that I
999
00:49:34.559 --> 00:49:37.440
do support you know, what they're trying to do, and
1000
00:49:37.519 --> 00:49:39.400
being you know, here for everybody.
1001
00:49:39.960 --> 00:49:41.519
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bit different.
1002
00:49:41.639 --> 00:49:45.519
I'd rather be addressed because during the course of a game,
1003
00:49:45.639 --> 00:49:48.280
I'm always taken mental notes of where we made this mistake,
1004
00:49:48.599 --> 00:49:49.679
why that mistake happened.
1005
00:49:49.719 --> 00:49:51.880
If I can point it out right then and there.
1006
00:49:52.519 --> 00:49:54.599
If you if I give a parent too much time
1007
00:49:54.639 --> 00:49:57.239
to brew and think about it and think about it
1008
00:49:57.239 --> 00:50:00.480
and think about it, they're not really being genuine what
1009
00:50:00.679 --> 00:50:02.320
just happened in that game. They could be bringing up
1010
00:50:02.360 --> 00:50:04.760
something that happened four games ago as well. I want
1011
00:50:04.840 --> 00:50:06.719
to be in this moment right now so I can
1012
00:50:06.719 --> 00:50:08.400
tell you, Like I had that player one time. He's
1013
00:50:08.440 --> 00:50:11.119
cramping really bad. Of course in the side in the
1014
00:50:11.159 --> 00:50:14.360
stands you can't see that. I could see this, So
1015
00:50:14.400 --> 00:50:16.239
I pulled the kid out the game. Why your best
1016
00:50:16.239 --> 00:50:19.320
playering in the game on fourth and one, Because if
1017
00:50:19.360 --> 00:50:21.159
I give him the ball and he cramped going through
1018
00:50:21.159 --> 00:50:23.760
the hole, he could tear his muscle. Anything can happen.
1019
00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:26.039
He could be lost for the season. So I made
1020
00:50:26.039 --> 00:50:28.280
that choice, like, I'm not gonna jeopardize his kid. If
1021
00:50:28.280 --> 00:50:30.840
we can't get fourth on one with the backup, then you know.
1022
00:50:31.320 --> 00:50:33.400
But the parent did not know that they were he
1023
00:50:33.519 --> 00:50:36.239
was raising this whole big blue haha. And then people
1024
00:50:36.239 --> 00:50:37.800
are like, hey, don't talk to the coach now. I said, no,
1025
00:50:37.880 --> 00:50:39.719
let him come, let him ask this question.
1026
00:50:40.079 --> 00:50:40.360
You know.
1027
00:50:40.840 --> 00:50:42.760
I so we can get this, you know, out of
1028
00:50:42.760 --> 00:50:44.119
the way. And I said, to be truthful with you,
1029
00:50:44.280 --> 00:50:46.000
we shouldn't even came down to four for one. We
1030
00:50:46.039 --> 00:50:47.840
made so many mistakes during the course of the game
1031
00:50:48.039 --> 00:50:49.800
that we should have beat this team by twenty. But
1032
00:50:49.880 --> 00:50:52.039
now we're at four pune one trying to win this game,
1033
00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:55.199
you know. So you're only looking at that play. There's
1034
00:50:55.280 --> 00:50:57.440
a lot of other players that were out there that
1035
00:50:57.559 --> 00:50:59.440
was left. So this is you know, and you break
1036
00:50:59.440 --> 00:51:02.320
it down to it, kind of give them that ease because.
1037
00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:03.960
I've had this happen.
1038
00:51:04.199 --> 00:51:06.280
I just walked through the door. My phone was ringing,
1039
00:51:06.400 --> 00:51:07.760
Hey coach, why the fuck you do this?
1040
00:51:07.800 --> 00:51:09.280
Why do you do that? And I'm like, hey, man,
1041
00:51:09.400 --> 00:51:11.559
look bro, I'm about to sit here with my wife.
1042
00:51:11.639 --> 00:51:13.320
My wife has been waiting for me to come home.
1043
00:51:13.599 --> 00:51:15.960
I can have this conversation with you later because you
1044
00:51:15.960 --> 00:51:18.320
could have approached me at the stadium. So once again,
1045
00:51:18.360 --> 00:51:21.400
I much rather have that moment sept for this person
1046
00:51:21.480 --> 00:51:23.480
keep getting rolled up because they haven't had that access
1047
00:51:23.519 --> 00:51:26.400
to me yet. But like I'm like Marlowe, I cannot
1048
00:51:26.519 --> 00:51:29.599
I can keep my emotions in check. I'm already thinking
1049
00:51:29.599 --> 00:51:31.840
about it. But I know other coaches have been in
1050
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:33.719
a fist fight and a partner lot or you can
1051
00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:34.840
call me when I just got home.
1052
00:51:34.880 --> 00:51:35.360
Where are you at.
1053
00:51:35.400 --> 00:51:37.199
I'm about to meet you somewhere. You're gonna have this,
1054
00:51:37.400 --> 00:51:39.760
you gonna throw hands. I'm not gonna do all of that,
1055
00:51:39.880 --> 00:51:43.199
so you know, I get the room. But also i'd
1056
00:51:43.280 --> 00:51:45.880
rather have that fresh take. I'd rather have that because
1057
00:51:45.920 --> 00:51:47.639
I know where I'm at in that game. I don't
1058
00:51:47.639 --> 00:51:48.599
want to overthink it either.
1059
00:51:49.159 --> 00:51:52.840
Right, makes sense? All right? Last question for you guys,
1060
00:51:54.480 --> 00:51:59.760
address the tension between a parent wanting their kids to
1061
00:52:00.079 --> 00:52:04.519
time and the overall success of the team or what's
1062
00:52:04.559 --> 00:52:09.360
best for the team. How does that? You know? What
1063
00:52:09.400 --> 00:52:11.079
does that? What does that? Do?
1064
00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:11.480
You know?
1065
00:52:11.519 --> 00:52:13.159
There's a lot of parents that want to see their
1066
00:52:13.320 --> 00:52:17.719
kids shine and they definitely don't look at what's best
1067
00:52:17.760 --> 00:52:18.199
for the team.
1068
00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:19.199
Sometimes.
1069
00:52:22.239 --> 00:52:24.880
Well, I mean it's just at the end of the day,
1070
00:52:24.920 --> 00:52:29.760
you got to win, right, And I can't really worry
1071
00:52:29.800 --> 00:52:33.719
about touches and stats and recruiting because a lot of
1072
00:52:33.760 --> 00:52:36.599
parents and a lot of kids believe that they need
1073
00:52:36.639 --> 00:52:39.159
to have a certain number of highlights, a certain number
1074
00:52:39.360 --> 00:52:42.599
of catches or statistics or shots and all the stuff
1075
00:52:42.840 --> 00:52:45.719
games to get recruited. And so sometimes you have to
1076
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:49.719
have a realistic conversation with parents and just say, like, look,
1077
00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:52.800
to get this kid out, this is what kind of
1078
00:52:53.039 --> 00:52:55.960
things that he needs to perform on film, Like this
1079
00:52:56.039 --> 00:52:58.320
is what his film needs to show, you know, And
1080
00:52:58.360 --> 00:53:01.000
based upon this and my history of getting kids out,
1081
00:53:01.559 --> 00:53:03.840
you know, you're gonna have to trust the process, you know.
1082
00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:08.519
And then sometimes some parents buy into it. And sometimes
1083
00:53:09.079 --> 00:53:11.360
certain parents came to see their kids shoot the ball,
1084
00:53:11.639 --> 00:53:13.320
they came to see their kids run the ball, and
1085
00:53:13.360 --> 00:53:15.559
it's just there's just nothing you could do about it,
1086
00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:19.840
you know. And fortunately, you know, you just got to win.
1087
00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:22.760
You know, win instalves a lot of problems. Like if
1088
00:53:22.760 --> 00:53:26.199
you win, then you know it's like, hey, you know,
1089
00:53:26.239 --> 00:53:28.039
I don't know what to tell you parent, Like, you know,
1090
00:53:28.119 --> 00:53:29.760
like this is what we're doing, this is the culture
1091
00:53:29.800 --> 00:53:33.159
that we're building. But if you losing, then you know,
1092
00:53:33.239 --> 00:53:36.400
that's a different conversation too. So you know, I just think,
1093
00:53:36.880 --> 00:53:38.719
you know, sometimes you just have to have a realistic
1094
00:53:38.719 --> 00:53:41.440
conversation with the parent about what it's gonna take to
1095
00:53:41.480 --> 00:53:45.159
get your kid out, you know, and you know if
1096
00:53:45.159 --> 00:53:47.760
your kid wants more shots, this is what he needs
1097
00:53:47.800 --> 00:53:48.119
to do.
1098
00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:50.159
You know, he like he has to do that.
1099
00:53:52.280 --> 00:53:54.639
The culture of every team is the first you want
1100
00:53:54.639 --> 00:53:59.079
to win above all else. But I I always tell
1101
00:53:59.079 --> 00:54:01.239
people I have the privilege. I don't coach an abundance
1102
00:54:01.239 --> 00:54:03.559
of great talent. I don't coach a bunch of kids's
1103
00:54:03.559 --> 00:54:05.280
probably about to go D one and stuff like that.
1104
00:54:05.440 --> 00:54:06.920
So I already know what the parents are there for.
1105
00:54:07.239 --> 00:54:09.639
If the parent is very realistic with it, I want
1106
00:54:09.639 --> 00:54:11.159
to see my kid at least touch the ball a
1107
00:54:11.159 --> 00:54:14.119
couple of times. I'man to see the kid that my
1108
00:54:14.159 --> 00:54:16.639
first year coaching had a kid. He really wasn't that talented.
1109
00:54:16.719 --> 00:54:20.719
His parents were there every day, every practice, every game.
1110
00:54:21.320 --> 00:54:24.719
He was our two point conversion kid. We always started
1111
00:54:24.719 --> 00:54:26.800
off in the swinging gate. If the team didn't make
1112
00:54:26.840 --> 00:54:28.599
it through to him, he left the team in scoring
1113
00:54:28.639 --> 00:54:31.320
because every time we score, he got two points. So
1114
00:54:31.960 --> 00:54:34.880
he and it made him so much better of a
1115
00:54:34.920 --> 00:54:38.000
teammate because he knew his role. He didn't care if
1116
00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:40.800
he got twenty carries. He didn't care if he, you know,
1117
00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:43.360
played five or six plays, because those five or six
1118
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:45.960
plays usually resulted him running into the end zone for
1119
00:54:46.280 --> 00:54:51.480
those two points. So you know, I know that there
1120
00:54:51.480 --> 00:54:54.239
are some parents taking care less if we win or lose.
1121
00:54:54.960 --> 00:54:57.440
They just want to see their kid play. I took
1122
00:54:57.480 --> 00:55:00.400
this time off of work. I'm here. I want to
1123
00:55:00.400 --> 00:55:02.440
see my kid getting the game, touch the ball, you know.
1124
00:55:02.519 --> 00:55:04.639
So I'm like, okay, I always have a play for
1125
00:55:04.679 --> 00:55:06.800
certain kids, or I'm gonna put this kid in certain
1126
00:55:06.840 --> 00:55:09.280
situations so they can shine. They parents gonna see them.
1127
00:55:09.360 --> 00:55:11.559
Now do I really want to win this game? I
1128
00:55:11.599 --> 00:55:15.119
want to win this game because winning makes everything look better.
1129
00:55:15.360 --> 00:55:18.840
So I always try to find that fine balance. Of
1130
00:55:19.480 --> 00:55:21.679
these are the kids who parents just want to see
1131
00:55:21.679 --> 00:55:24.880
them get in. I will get them in when it's feasible.
1132
00:55:25.239 --> 00:55:27.679
And then there's these parents that they want to see
1133
00:55:27.760 --> 00:55:30.320
us win so they can go brag at church on Sunday.
1134
00:55:30.440 --> 00:55:33.400
My baby, we won, we won forty six, We did this,
1135
00:55:33.480 --> 00:55:35.440
we did that. So you got to have that, you
1136
00:55:35.480 --> 00:55:37.960
get that fine balance. So there's gonna be kids that
1137
00:55:38.079 --> 00:55:40.199
gonna play. There'll be a kid who shouldn't be playing
1138
00:55:40.199 --> 00:55:42.719
that's gonna start the calls. Run out on the field.
1139
00:55:42.840 --> 00:55:45.280
They parent like, if my baby has started, then they're
1140
00:55:45.280 --> 00:55:47.480
not in the game no more. So you know, you
1141
00:55:47.559 --> 00:55:50.320
gotta find you gotta get that post of that team
1142
00:55:50.559 --> 00:55:52.880
as a coach and understand where it is, because if
1143
00:55:52.880 --> 00:55:54.760
you make it all about winning, you're gonna be miserable
1144
00:55:55.320 --> 00:55:58.639
if you're not allowing the kids to enjoy their experience,
1145
00:55:58.639 --> 00:56:01.119
to have something to brag about, to have something that
1146
00:56:01.159 --> 00:56:03.480
they can go at school and be like, man, I
1147
00:56:03.480 --> 00:56:04.239
saw you in the game.
1148
00:56:04.440 --> 00:56:06.320
They in third period. I saw you in the game. Man,
1149
00:56:06.360 --> 00:56:07.360
you was baling? Are you?
1150
00:56:08.039 --> 00:56:09.639
People don't know if he was baling or not, but
1151
00:56:09.679 --> 00:56:11.880
she was out there doing something and that's all that
1152
00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:14.559
sometimes matter to those kids. So I mean, it's tough
1153
00:56:14.960 --> 00:56:17.800
with that fine line. I mean, I want every kid
1154
00:56:17.840 --> 00:56:19.719
to enjoy. Because I was a teammate, I didn't really
1155
00:56:19.760 --> 00:56:21.519
always care about what I did. I would love to
1156
00:56:21.559 --> 00:56:24.000
see my teammate shine too. That made me feel so
1157
00:56:24.119 --> 00:56:27.239
much better. And Marlow note when I was in high school,
1158
00:56:27.280 --> 00:56:30.840
she saw me play like and as good as I
1159
00:56:30.880 --> 00:56:33.360
could be. I just love seeing my teammate shine more.
1160
00:56:33.679 --> 00:56:35.559
And I think that's what's missing in the culture of
1161
00:56:35.599 --> 00:56:38.519
sports today. Everybody wants to be the person that shine
1162
00:56:38.519 --> 00:56:40.199
instead of seeing this dude that I've been in school
1163
00:56:40.199 --> 00:56:42.840
with since the first grade. He's scoring, he doing this
1164
00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:44.800
and doing that, and that brings you more joy. So
1165
00:56:45.039 --> 00:56:47.400
it's a little bit different when it comes to that.
1166
00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:49.800
But yeah, there's gonna be players and parents. I just
1167
00:56:49.840 --> 00:56:52.079
want to see their kid. There's something that's all about winning.
1168
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:58.800
So I feel really bad, especially in AAU when parents
1169
00:56:59.159 --> 00:57:01.239
pay for their child out to be on this team
1170
00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:03.280
and to play and the kid never gets in the game,
1171
00:57:03.840 --> 00:57:07.440
Like I would be pissed now, that would bother me.
1172
00:57:07.599 --> 00:57:09.599
I feel really bad for those parents.
1173
00:57:10.119 --> 00:57:12.880
Honestly, we were talking about that earlier.
1174
00:57:12.920 --> 00:57:17.360
Sometimes kids that kid is actually paying for end of
1175
00:57:17.400 --> 00:57:20.840
the kids. So yeah, they're not contributing. They're not contributing
1176
00:57:20.920 --> 00:57:23.920
to the court. They are contributed because they their money is
1177
00:57:23.960 --> 00:57:26.079
going for some kid that probably didn't even pay that's
1178
00:57:26.119 --> 00:57:30.079
getting all the playing time on that team.
1179
00:57:30.639 --> 00:57:34.280
That would that would ruin ruin me. I don't know
1180
00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:35.960
if I can continue to show up.
1181
00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:39.719
Knowing that another team. You gotta find the right au
1182
00:57:39.800 --> 00:57:42.880
T that's just bottom mind, you know.
1183
00:57:43.679 --> 00:57:48.679
Yeah, agree, all right, Well that's going to conclude this show.
1184
00:57:49.039 --> 00:57:54.199
Thank you guys. This was episode number two of Huddling Whistle.
1185
00:57:54.440 --> 00:57:57.800
Why coaches hate your kid? Make sure you don't.
1186
00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:01.360
Hey, no, no, we hate no no, but we don't
1187
00:58:01.400 --> 00:58:01.800
hate them.
1188
00:58:03.400 --> 00:58:06.199
Make sure you tune in for our next show. It's
1189
00:58:06.239 --> 00:58:08.760
gonna be great. I'm going to keep this one a secret,
1190
00:58:08.960 --> 00:58:12.239
so maybe we'll announce it later. Maybe we won't. But
1191
00:58:12.280 --> 00:58:14.320
thank you for tuning in. We'll see you next time.
1192
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:19.119
All right, thanks for tuning in to the Huddling Whistle Show.
1193
00:58:19.360 --> 00:58:21.960
Don't forget to like the Subscribe and share this episode
1194
00:58:21.960 --> 00:58:24.599
with your fellow sports fans. If you were a sponsor,
1195
00:58:24.800 --> 00:58:26.760
or a guest who wants to join us and bring
1196
00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:30.199
your voice to the conversation, email us at info at
1197
00:58:30.239 --> 00:58:34.719
Marlon Nicole Productions dot com. Until next time, let's huddle
1198
00:58:34.800 --> 00:58:35.760
up and blow the whistle.