ÜBER DIESE EPISODE
When people are told that they are overly sensitive or thinking too much—instead of lauding gifts of insight and protection—they feel isolated and alone, and start to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?” This was the genesis of Miriam Verheyden’s experience with her own self-doubt, intrusive thoughts and… eventual understanding of depression, alcohol misuse, and PMDD. PMDD is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which is distinctly different from PMS and is more closely related to hormone imbalances that lead to sever psychological symptoms (like depression, anger) as well as skin, gastrointestinal symptoms, fluid retention to name a few. At the cross-section of being on her 40s, being almost 2 years sober, and having multiple incredible published books out—Miriam brings a voice to women navigating shame and resilience. I almost audibly gasp when she says she doesn't take being called "selfish" as an insult: We are responsible for ourselves, we have to be selfish.
Other key takeaways include:
- All feelings are valid, observe with compassion, feelings don’t define you. In savasana or otherwise
- If you don’t want to talk to someone, start writing- it’s liberating and often not as bad as you think it is. Reach outside of yourself.
- How do you let go of what you’ve written? Once it’s out it’s not yours anymore- write and release
- Journey we are on to become our best selves while navigating everything happening in the world is messy, not polished, just like a “snapshot” within a memoir
- In sobriety, everything is turned up (brighter, louder, flooding emotions)
- Hiding your “not good sides” is more painful than outing them, shame is such a heavy feeling to carry.
- Warm ball inside of me, warming me—everything that happened and I’ve been through is ok
- Hide = this is terrible. Out it = better outside perspective. Not that bad
- Raised with conditional love = get love when you do what your caregivers and teachers approve/ like
- Don’t should all over yourself: do more, try harder to maintain friendships, become a person you are proud of – without being in hustle culture of always improving—but be somebody you can look in the eye and say you know what, I did the best I could. I'm trying to be kind and helpful, and if others don’t understand or approve, it has nothing to do with me
- Unlearn decades of conditioning… of being pleasing… to the eye, the way we behave.
- Rebellious I’m not playing this game anymore
- Find sisterhood: See women as friends and supporters
- People’s opinions, or critiques: It ceases to matter. It stings. But it doesn’t really matter
- Someone bothering you: You have the right to not respond
- Refuse to see “selfish” as an insult because it’s nobody else’s responsibility
- Cutting out drinking is a huge time saver
- I can be alone with thoughts and feel at peace; Wake up before the alarm
- What we women have to learn is to not be so hard on ourselves, we don’t have to do anything; we are worthy on days when we literally don’t do anything. If there’s a day you have to stay in bed, that’s ok. The myth that we always have to be better—just take it easy more kindness and grace
More at: https://miriamverheyden.com/
Specifically, the book that started Everything is Broken and Completely Fine
