"Everything becomes easier when it's not about you." with networking expert Keith Bailey

WEBVTT
00:00:05.040 --> 00:00:07.200
Hi, and welcome to Executive Land.
00:00:07.360 --> 00:00:16.239
I'm Elizabeth Friedman, and this is where top leaders go off script to share straight talk and the unwritten playbook about life in the C-Suite.
00:00:16.399 --> 00:00:20.239
For more ideas, visit east SuiteLeader.com.
00:00:20.399 --> 00:00:23.120
Now let's dive into today's episode.
00:00:24.320 --> 00:00:27.679
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Executive Land.
00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:38.079
As you know, this is the podcast where we get to have great conversations about all things executive leadership and really what happens after you get the big job and after the promotion.
00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:43.520
And so I am very, very excited about today's conversation with Keith Bailey.
00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:46.240
And Keith, I want to tell you a little bit about Keith.
00:00:46.399 --> 00:00:48.799
Keith, you're gonna share more about your background.
00:00:48.880 --> 00:01:11.920
But first, I'd love to just make sure people know that you are an incredible facilitator, you're a keynote speaker, and you are also the co-founder of Articulated Intelligence, which is a firm focused on strengthening business performance through strengthening structured communication, relationship strategy, and practice-driven development.
00:01:12.159 --> 00:01:19.200
You know, Keith, I feel like you really are such an expert in all things networking.
00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:20.640
And we're going to discuss that.
00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:22.400
But first, pick it up from here.
00:01:22.560 --> 00:01:25.439
What else should we know about you, about your bio, your background?
00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:26.560
What did I miss?
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:30.079
And what should we understand about articulated intelligence?
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:30.799
Yeah.
00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:31.680
Thank you so much.
00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:35.680
And thank you so much, Elizabeth, for having me on to have this conversation with you.
00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:41.760
It's one of my favorite things to talk about, which is the uh strategic relationship development.
00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:50.159
Like, what are we doing to intentionally build the relationships that are going to help us as business professionals grow and also to help our businesses grow?
00:01:50.319 --> 00:02:00.159
Uh, my background, uh, long and short of it, uh, I had eight fun-filled years in the Marine Corps, gave me a mindset of the altruistic mindset, also that improvise, adapt, and overcome.
00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:03.439
There isn't anything that we cannot do when we put our minds to it.
00:02:03.599 --> 00:02:12.719
Uh, went into the hospitality industry for a long time and then eventually found my way into corporate America working in the cycling apparel industry.
00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:14.960
So spandox everything.
00:02:15.199 --> 00:02:20.000
And I did uh global sales for for two prominent brands in the apparel industry.
00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:26.000
And and working in that space, in that corporate space, was uh was a lot of incredible opportunities.
00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:34.319
And in fact, part of the reason why I'm walking the path that I am today is as a result of a need that I saw in that space.
00:02:34.560 --> 00:02:38.879
So we work with business professionals to help you live a life well spoken.
00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:40.080
And what does that mean?
00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:50.240
Is if the Shakespearean all the world is a stage, how you show up on those different stages and your ability to communicate is a direct reflection of your personal and professional brand.
00:02:50.400 --> 00:02:53.599
So if you want to uplevel that brand, up level your ability to communicate.
00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:55.680
And that's really what we focus on.
00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:56.800
Oh, okay.
00:02:56.960 --> 00:03:17.680
Well, this I think is just going to resonate on so many levels because Keith, you know, one of the things that I've noticed certainly about the leaders that I've worked with is as talented, as experienced as they are, those strategic relationships I have observed do not typically extend far beyond their own organizations.
00:03:18.479 --> 00:03:28.080
Um and their heads are down, they're busy working, and yet their external networks in particular are surprisingly small.
00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:33.199
Um, and so I'm wondering if that's something that you're seeing.
00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:36.479
And maybe let's just pick it up from there.
00:03:36.639 --> 00:03:41.599
What are the things that you typically notice, particularly at the senior leader level?
00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:45.439
Um, is what I'm describing accurate from your view?
00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:46.080
Yeah.
00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:47.039
You are.
00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:48.400
You're you're you're spot on.
00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:55.759
Uh when we look at leaders, you know, they're they're focused on financial capital, the human capital, the operational capital, that strategy.
00:03:55.919 --> 00:04:00.080
And the thing that falls by the wayside is managing the relationship capital.
00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:02.639
And the relationship capital is both the internal, right?
00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:20.160
What are you doing to create succession planning, to give people opportunities to spot those leaders that are that are up and coming and to mentor them to become the absolute best that they can so they can support your organization, but also on the outside of it, like the visibility that you're creating for yourself is is incredibly important.
00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:34.319
So when we think about strategic relationship development, it's it's in it's in the BD, it's it's recruiting, strategic partnerships, client retention, MA, thought leadership is a huge part of it as well.
00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:43.519
And usually when we think about uh strategic relationship development, the word that the coin word that comes up that actually I think turns leaders off is is networking.
00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:46.000
Like, oh no, I I don't need to do networking.
00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:51.680
So it it's gotten a it's gotten a catch-all uh phrase to it, networking.
00:04:51.839 --> 00:05:02.399
So we break it down into more of the intentional strategy behind who is it that that you really need to be having conversations with.
00:05:03.839 --> 00:05:08.480
One of the things that we sit down and do first is is identify that uh that top five list.
00:05:08.639 --> 00:05:11.360
And it's not the the client that you're doing the most business with.
00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:12.319
I think that's fantastic.
00:05:12.399 --> 00:05:13.920
The things are growing really well there.
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:22.000
It's also identifying like who's that client that you have or clients that you have that you're doing business with, but you really like to be doing more business with them.
00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:26.079
And usually the answer that comes back to me is well, well, yeah, sure.
00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:31.279
But you know, I've got a whole sales team for that, and I've got a VP of sales, and that's really what what the that's their job.
00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:32.399
That's what they do.
00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:33.680
And I say, yes.
00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:45.120
And what you should be doing is having peer-to-peer conversations and uh and relationships with the person that is is at the top of that business.
00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:52.000
And it's not necessarily getting in there and getting into the brass tacks of of getting, you know, selling them more stuff.
00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:57.920
It's getting into the brass tacks of getting to know that human being, of the person before the profession.
00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:03.279
And what are you doing to show up intentionally in places where they are?
00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:06.720
And then also what are you doing to invite them into your world?
00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:13.920
So it's it's changing the mindset from uh from the the the whole sales enablement.
00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:15.360
You've got a team for that.
00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:30.000
You as a leader need to pause, step back for a moment, and identify what are those five strategic relationships that I need to be investing my time in, whether it's for the business or for you personally.
00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:31.839
I love that, Keith.
00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:36.000
And you know, I'm thinking about people listening right now.
00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:43.040
Um, but let's talk about those that may not be in, let's say, obvious client-facing roles.
00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:49.759
Their roles are, let's say, entirely internal, quote unquote, entirely internal.
00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:54.480
Because I think you and I are probably of the mindset that that's not really ever the case.
00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:58.639
But that said, where do we help this person start?
00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:00.319
So they're a senior leader.
00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:03.839
Um, maybe they're in an engineering or an operations role.
00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:06.720
Um, they may not be as client-facing.
00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:10.240
How do they, how should they be thinking about the five people?
00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:12.399
What would you want them to do first?
00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:12.959
Yeah.
00:07:13.120 --> 00:07:20.079
Uh one of the first ones I the questions I would uh look at is is where where have you been showing up the last 90 days?
00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:22.240
Let's let's take, let's turn back the clock.
00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:25.040
Where where is it that that you're going?
00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:27.120
And what is the reason behind that?
00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:30.240
What's the value behind you showing up in these places?
00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:32.079
Like what is your intentionality behind that?
00:07:32.240 --> 00:07:39.040
Because we know that as leaders, we've got very, very limited amount of time and we're we're needed in so many of these areas.
00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:42.879
So it is going back over the last 90 days and evaluating where are you showing up?
00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:45.519
And does it align with with where it is that you should be showing up?
00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:49.120
And showing up is everything from are you part of an association?
00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:50.720
Do you do you sit on the board?
00:07:50.879 --> 00:07:54.160
Are you a thought leader that's somebody that people come to?
00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:59.759
Um, are you uh, you know, let's let's talk about going to actual events.
00:08:00.160 --> 00:08:02.720
We talked a little bit about this before we started here today.
00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:08.639
Is how often do you have it where you're like, oh, I don't want to go to this event?
00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:11.839
Where you ask yourself the question, why, why am I even going to this?
00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:14.240
Which is the right question to ask.
00:08:14.879 --> 00:08:17.439
Especially as a leader, you have so many events to go to.
00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:25.199
One of the things that we work on is we end up categorizing the different types of events that you go to into a low, medium, and high stakes.
00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:28.720
And as a leader, you should only be going to high-stakes events.
00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:35.039
So it's it's looking it's looking at certain things like uh do the sponsors align with with our business?
00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:37.679
Or are those sponsors perhaps our business sponsors as well?
00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:39.360
Do are we doing business with them?
00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:42.799
What's your relationship to the event organizer or the host?
00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:45.679
If you're going to like, and also the uniqueness of it, right?
00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:49.679
Is it a curated dinner that you've been invited to at high stakes?
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:52.559
The host has personally invited you to this.
00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:58.399
So you need to be able to show up and and build that relationship and invest in that relationship.
00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:01.200
Like those are the kinds of places that you need to be showing up.
00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:08.799
So there's a there's a whole list of other things that you can get into, but a large part of it is um what are your goals?
00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:13.200
Like what do you really want to accomplish with the relationships that you're building?
00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:16.159
What do you want to what do you want to get out of it?
00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:17.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:26.320
Keith, this is so useful because I think about some of the leaders I work with, again, busy, talented people.
00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:35.519
But when I think about where they have shown up over the last 90 days, what I often hear it's again, it's meetings internally.
00:09:36.720 --> 00:09:47.440
And so um they may not be getting invitations to certain external meetings, by the way, um, or the dinner and would like to be.
00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:50.000
And so what do we say to those leaders?
00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:59.600
To to those leaders is if all you're doing is showing up to your internal meetings, then that is that that's that's something that's been covered.
00:09:59.759 --> 00:10:11.279
And what can you do to to delegate to get a few people to show up to those meetings that you don't that are let's let's take the same thing at the event stakes checklist and and and turn it towards meetings.
00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:19.360
Because if all you're doing is showing up to meetings, that that means that you're just sinking time there and you're avoiding something else.
00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:20.480
That's right.
00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:24.879
Right, you're you're perhaps it's you and there's nothing wrong with this.
00:10:25.200 --> 00:10:28.960
You know, maybe maybe you just feel a little socially awkward and this is a safe space for you.
00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:32.639
Maybe there's some fear that's keeping you from from stepping into this.
00:10:32.879 --> 00:10:35.919
And so you've just just made yourself so busy.
00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:40.240
You know, it's it's a um we can make ourselves really, really busy.
00:10:40.320 --> 00:10:46.080
We can fill our calendars up, but the question is, is that serving you in your own professional path?
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:46.480
Right?
00:10:46.639 --> 00:10:48.080
Is this your forever job?
00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:50.159
Is this where you want to be for the rest of your career?
00:10:50.240 --> 00:11:00.559
If the answer is yes, well, then you still shouldn't just be focusing just on the meetings that you're having because who's the next line of talent that's coming in?
00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:01.360
Where are they?
00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:02.960
And how are you gonna find them?
00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:03.440
Right?
00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:08.159
What are you doing to uh to stay to stay on top of trends that are occurring within your industry?
00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:11.120
Sure, you can read uh uh trade magazines.
00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:19.120
There's a lot of great ones out there, there's a lot of great content out there, but we also know that the best way to build those relationships is by showing up in person.
00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:19.759
Yes.
00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:28.879
And the some of the things that that leaders avoid naturally is going to some of those events because they really don't know why they're there.
00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:30.960
Like this is just what I'm told to do.
00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:33.120
So flip it around.
00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:42.639
Like be the be the leader and the CEO that you are in your business in building out the plan that you want to accomplish in in moving your career forward.
00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:44.559
It's the exact same application.
00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:53.759
Do the same research that you would do for the things that are happening in your business to help promote you outside of your business because you you gotta show up.
00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:55.519
You gotta show up.
00:11:56.080 --> 00:12:04.639
You know, let me ask you a little more about that, Keith, because I do think, and you touched on this, certainly there's that whole inner, I don't know, how do we want to describe it?
00:12:04.799 --> 00:12:07.840
Inertia, dread, discomfort.
00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:16.240
And so, how have you worked with clients to kind of manage through this, take bigger risks in this space?
00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:17.600
What have you found?
00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:24.399
Because I know one of the things you and I were also discussing, it's the, okay, I'm at this sort of like cocktail thing.
00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:25.840
I feel awkward.
00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:28.159
Why don't I check my cell phone?
00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:33.360
All of those behaviors that we can kind of default to when we're not feeling comfortable.
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:36.159
So, how do we work through some of that?
00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:37.360
Yeah.
00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:41.440
Uh, first things is knowing that that event's coming up.
00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:43.039
You've done your event stakes checklist.
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:45.039
There's a reason and a purpose that you're there.
00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:48.480
And it's likely that you're there to meet a very specific person.
00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:52.960
The one person that I always want to meet is the event organizer.
00:12:53.279 --> 00:13:00.480
I want to put in the time to thank them and to be appreciative of the invitation and also for them hosting this event.
00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:06.320
And the reason behind that is uh is well, they know everybody.
00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:09.039
They have they've been they've curated this list.
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:09.679
Right, of course.
00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:23.840
And to and to, yeah, and to even ask them, hey, is I this is if let's say it's your first time going to this, let's let's paint that as a scenario, is to is to ask them for help is hey, I came, I'm I'm at this, I came to this because your invitation, I looked at the website, it looks great.
00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.720
I'm looking to meet this specific type of person.
00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:29.440
Who should I be having a conversation with?
00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:32.080
And let them make that connection for you.
00:13:32.480 --> 00:13:38.320
They'll be more than happy to do it because that's the host is always the purse that wants to make these connections happen.
00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:43.840
Uh, the second part of it is the importance of putting the person before the profession.
00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:46.879
We have a tendency to just want to slip in and talk about work.
00:13:47.039 --> 00:13:54.240
I know I work with a lot of CEOs, and that's just a comfort zone, but we can all agree that we do business with the people we know, like, and trust.
00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:56.320
So we need to put that at the forefront.
00:13:56.480 --> 00:13:58.480
And with that, it's it's a it's a simple question.
00:13:58.559 --> 00:13:59.279
It's the same question.
00:13:59.360 --> 00:14:03.039
I ask the same question every single time, and it's a best question.
00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:05.200
I ask people, you know, today, what is today?
00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:06.159
Tuesday, right?
00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:08.240
What's what's what's been the best part of your week?
00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:10.000
Wednesday is a great one as well.
00:14:10.159 --> 00:14:14.159
What's the best thing you're looking forward to uh coming up this weekend?
00:14:14.320 --> 00:14:18.879
Uh, and then you can also take that best question and parlay it over into business.
00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:23.039
Like, what's what's been the best part of your business in 2026?
00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:25.200
What are you guys currently celebrating?
00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:26.879
And the framing of that.
00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:31.600
Let's talk about the framing of why a best question, as opposed to saying, what's going on?
00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:32.399
How's business?
00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:33.519
How you doing?
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:34.799
It's too broad.
00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:37.600
It's hard for somebody to really think of something specific.
00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:42.559
So the best question narrows it down, it gets them to look in a very specific place, right?
00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:43.519
What are you celebrating?
00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:45.120
It's a very specific thing.
00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:51.679
And the reason for the positivity also is we do business with the people we know like and trust.
00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:58.080
That liking piece, if we're thinking about positive things that are happening, that is I call it the dopamine handshake.
00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:03.600
When you ask a best question of somebody else, it gets them to think of a positive thing, which washes them with dopamine.
00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:07.919
And because you've brought joy to somebody else, it washes you with dopamine as well.
00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:13.440
And it's just this dopamine handshake where we're both feeling great and we're starting a conversation off on a very positive note.
00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:19.679
And the one thing I get pushed back on from CEOs and from leaders is like, well, what if what if nothing great is happening?
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:22.799
Well, what if nothing you know positive is happening in their business?
00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:27.279
Well, if they're gonna say that to you, that's a moment of vulnerability that you should really step into.
00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:31.279
First and foremost, like, I'm sorry to hear that that your business is not going well.
00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:32.639
Do you want to do you want to talk about it?
00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:35.120
I'd love to just hear like what are some of the things you're going to?
00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:37.759
It's likely that I might be going through some of the same things.
00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:38.240
Right.
00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:41.519
Now we're creating this alignment and it's an on-ramp to a conversation.
00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:45.919
A best question is all it is is to get the conversation going.
00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:47.200
I love that.
00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:48.080
Best question.
00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:49.519
That's so helpful, Keith.
00:15:49.679 --> 00:15:55.919
And I want to pause because I want to make sure we're all um hearing what you're saying.
00:15:56.080 --> 00:16:08.159
You've advised us, even just to reflect on where have you shown up the last 90 days, which I think is such a good starting point, to really take a step back and just uh, you know, from what are our goals?
00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:10.799
What are the things that we're really focused on?
00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:14.799
What are the five relationships that really enable or support that?
00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:16.799
And then being intentional, right?
00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:19.840
Not just showing up to stuff, but why are you there?
00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:28.399
And then if you're in a senior role, really identifying, as you say, the higher stage things, the things that really right where your peers are present.
00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:34.960
And then like, don't hide in a corner, engage with that event organizer, for example, have the best question.
00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:42.559
What I love about everything you're saying is I'm sitting here feeling like this is so practical, this is absolutely doable.
00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:45.600
Here's what I'm thinking about.
00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:50.399
I know some folks listening, they're going through, let's say, career transition.
00:16:50.559 --> 00:16:55.840
There's been a restructuring, maybe they're they're exploring new roles for whatever reason.
00:16:55.919 --> 00:17:04.319
And I know at those executive levels, again, they are really trying to develop, establish, re-engage with relationships.
00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:16.480
So this may not be event-driven, Keith, but how should these individuals be thinking about this kind of process, knowing that, again, many of them are in the same boat that I described earlier?
00:17:16.720 --> 00:17:22.400
They haven't necessarily invested as much time as they would have liked in some of these relationships.
00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:25.279
And now they're really needing them.
00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:26.079
Yeah.
00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:26.799
Yeah.
00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:36.960
Um, depending on the industry that you're in, um LinkedIn is a great place to go back and to begin to nurture those networks.
00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:41.839
There's within what we teach, there's the 75% reconnection rule.
00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:51.359
And what that means is that if you're going to intentionally spend four hours a month networking, three of those hours should be spent connecting with the network you already have, as opposed to going out and finding new people.
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:53.039
Oh, did everybody hear that?
00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:55.119
Everybody wants to be more PSN.
00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:58.400
That's such a great, helpful insight.
00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:01.359
It's not it's not necessarily about gathering more and getting more in.
00:18:01.759 --> 00:18:02.079
That's right.
00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:04.880
It's it's it's strengthening those relationships that you have.
00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:12.480
So LinkedIn is a great place to uh to go and look and see what those connections that see uh the connections that you have and what they're doing.
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:20.960
Well, what what are they talking about, especially if they're they're posting on LinkedIn is to is to comment on them and then to reach out to them.
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:24.079
And and here's here's the thing that goes a long, long way.
00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:26.079
Honesty.
00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:27.920
Honesty goes a long way.
00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:30.559
Reaching back out to them, say, you know what, I've been remiss.
00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:33.759
I've been my head's down in this business for the last four years.
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:37.839
And I gotta be honest with you, I've just been focused on business and I have not reached out to you.
00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:44.720
I truly I love the relationship that we had before, and I would love to just let's just pick it back up again and let's let's start talking.
00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:46.160
Are you are you are you available?
00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:49.119
Just I know it feels there's fear behind it.
00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:50.799
You're like, oh, they're gonna judge me.
00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:56.079
It's likely they did the exact same thing because relationships are two ways of communication.
00:18:56.240 --> 00:19:00.400
We if we if one person breaks the communication, then it's up to the other person to carry it.
00:19:00.480 --> 00:19:02.880
And if they're not carrying it, well, then it's on both ends.
00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:03.359
Yes.
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.200
And sometimes we feel like, well, we can't reach out to that because I haven't talked to them in five years.
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:13.039
This is where, Elizabeth, this is where the investment in putting the person before the profession pays off.
00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:16.960
Because you likely know something personal about them or personable about them.
00:19:17.119 --> 00:19:19.359
That is a great place to pick the conversation back up again.
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:22.319
It's like I remember last time we talked, you were planning a trip to Europe.
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:25.599
Like, I know it was four years ago, but catch me up.
00:19:25.839 --> 00:19:27.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:19:27.359 --> 00:19:28.079
That's right.
00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:29.039
That's right.
00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:31.119
Love that honesty approach.
00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:40.480
And, you know, in the spirit of honesty, Keith, talk to people like me because, you know, I I am so, you know, a believer in what you're saying.
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:48.240
I would like to think that, like, okay, I believe in in relationships and network and that reciprocity.
00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:48.880
Okay.
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:52.319
But you know, Keith, am I I I get in my head sometimes.
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:56.079
I'll think things like, okay, I've really knocked on this door a bunch.
00:19:56.319 --> 00:20:01.039
This doesn't seem like a person who's necessarily interested in engaging.
00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:02.799
Hey, that's how it goes.
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:14.000
But I do find sometimes that detriment of just, it's not that even I'm bothering them, but just kind of, you know, what do you do when you're you're trying to establish maybe new relationships?
00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:18.400
You're feeling like, again, you know, you're getting ghosted, you're not getting responded to.
00:20:18.559 --> 00:20:22.559
It happens, it's hard, but how do we work our way through some of that?
00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:23.279
Yeah.
00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:26.720
You know, some people are are are frenemies, right?
00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:31.519
Do you you think you think they're friends yours, but they're really they're they're they're not, they're not, they're not that into you.
00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:32.319
And that's okay.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:36.640
And sometimes you just gotta let that relationship go and and and and walk away.
00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:40.160
It's those people that have the the reciprocity is is huge.
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:42.960
Like somebody you reach out to them and they get back to you.
00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:45.759
Like that is somebody that that's a relationship worth nurturing.
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:49.200
So some of the relationships you have, like it's it's maybe it's time to let them go.
00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:51.440
And so, and it's not you and it's not them.
00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:54.400
It's just that this this doesn't work, and that's okay.
00:20:54.559 --> 00:20:56.400
Yeah, so so that that's one.
00:20:56.559 --> 00:21:05.519
Uh the second one is those relationships that you have that you haven't connected with in a bit, is is to reach back out to them and and hit upon those areas.
00:21:05.599 --> 00:21:12.880
So, what one of the things that we coach uh leaders on is um we all know that the best CRM is the CRM that you use.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:24.799
So, whatever your structure is for a CRM, but to have a connection list in there, a dossier on each person, the things that you know, like, trust, uh the experiences that you've had.
00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:29.200
Uh, I keep a running list of of the people that I know and I come back to that again.
00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:36.799
And then from that, I I've got certain clients that I'm really nurturing that I'm doing business with, but I want to do more business with.
00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:38.559
So they are on my nurture list.
00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:40.240
It's almost like a drip campaign.
00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:45.920
And in it, uh uh like this one one client that I have, uh he's he's gotten really big into fitness.
00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:49.440
He went through some health issues, and his doctor's like, you really need to get your act together.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:50.640
So he's got a personal trainer.
00:21:51.039 --> 00:21:52.480
I used to be a personal trainer.
00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:54.240
I read this kind of stuff.
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:58.720
So in my CRM, when articles come up, I'll just pop it in there.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:06.720
And I know that once I Month, I'm either making a phone call, I'm sending him a card, I'm uh uh sending him an email, or I'll send him an article.
00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:08.160
Like I've I've got these things happening.
00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:09.440
He lives in another state.
00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:13.920
So I have an ongoing conversation drip campaign of reasons to reach out to them.
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:16.880
It's like, hey, Steve, this this article came through my feed.
00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:18.000
I thought of you.
00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:20.720
Like that's that's a nurturing of the relationship.
00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:25.839
And it's one of those nurturing of the relationship, it's a it's a reframe of the mindset.
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:28.240
So I'm I'm the quick story.
00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:29.200
I'm 32 years old.
00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:31.200
I got my first desk job ever.
00:22:31.759 --> 00:22:33.839
And my job is smile and dial.
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:35.599
And it is brutal.
00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:36.640
It is brutal.
00:22:36.799 --> 00:22:39.119
I get hung up on, I get yelled at.
00:22:39.279 --> 00:22:41.279
This one person yelled at me, he's like, How'd you get my phone number?
00:22:41.359 --> 00:22:42.480
I was like, it's in my CRM.
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:44.799
I'm just he's like, I I don't want your number in my phone.
00:22:44.960 --> 00:22:46.079
I don't want my number in your CRM.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:50.400
And I was like, you know, as soon as this conversation is over, I'll, you know, if we don't want to move forward, I'm happy to delete it.
00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:51.759
He's like, this conversation's over.
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:52.400
Click.
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:53.759
I was like, oh, jeez.
00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:55.039
So I sent him an email.
00:22:55.200 --> 00:22:58.480
But my boss comes up to me, Dave Edwards.
00:22:58.640 --> 00:22:59.920
He's like, Keith, two things.
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:00.799
Good news, bad news.
00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:02.480
One, good news, your phone fearless.
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:03.440
You're making out balance.
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:04.240
That's awesome.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:07.759
Two, the bad news is you're trying to sell them something.
00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:08.720
Stop it.
00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:10.319
Stop it.
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:13.119
Stop selling them stuff.
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:14.960
Call them up.
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:17.359
And the only thing you want to do is have a conversation.
00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:19.200
You're both in the cycling industry.
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:21.119
I was calling bike shops and bike teams.
00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:22.079
We love biking.
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:26.079
So call them up and just talk about the thing that you both have in common, cycling.
00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:28.640
And let them come around and be like, hey, why are you calling me again?
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:31.279
It's like, oh yeah, I'm the custom apparel guy.
00:23:31.359 --> 00:23:32.799
It's like, oh yeah, you're that guy.
00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:34.480
But it's the relationship.
00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:38.960
So in this outreach is to ask people how they're doing.
00:23:39.119 --> 00:23:39.440
All right.
00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:40.799
How can I support you best?
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:42.319
What is it that you need?
00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:53.599
A great book for for everybody if they're looking to build relationships uh within the their their businesses is a book called The Go Giver by Bob Burke.
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:58.799
It's it talks about the the five laws of stratospheric success.
00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:04.799
And in that, yeah, and in that one of them is the the law of reciprocity.
00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:05.440
Sure.
00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:06.400
Yes.
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:08.559
How can I how can I help you?
00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:10.559
Mm-hmm.
00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:11.759
Mm-hmm.
00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:13.279
Yeah.
00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:19.440
And you know, I I love the stop selling, which I think is great for anyone in sales to hear.
00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:21.680
It's the Zen approach to selling.
00:24:21.839 --> 00:24:25.920
The less you do that, the more right business you you get, I think, Keith.
00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:30.160
But I think also you're opening my mind to what nurturing can look like.
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:39.839
And I do think maybe a lot of us get stuck on those sort of go-to behaviors or practices because maybe they've worked or they work with some people, but you're just example.
00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:41.519
There shows, I think, such a range.
00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:49.519
And again, how much of it is like just through genuine just connection, thoughtfulness, um personal.
00:24:49.759 --> 00:24:50.240
Yeah.
00:24:50.559 --> 00:24:50.880
Yeah.
00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:51.759
Yeah.
00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:57.519
You know, I think, you know, I I love the also the CRM.
00:24:57.599 --> 00:25:15.759
I'm dying to ask you, Keith, just because now I have to go there, which is let's talk about some of the tools, some of the practical process things, either that you use, you've seen your clients use, whether it's, hey Elizabeth, a lot of people like the CRM tool tool, or every 30 days, here's a good practice.
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:23.920
What are some of the other really good behaviors you you would advise for as tools, systems, whatever you've seen?
00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:28.799
Yeah, I'm currently in the midst of the book The Art of Impossible.
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:31.759
And it's it's it's it's absolutely phenomenal.
00:25:31.839 --> 00:25:38.319
Let me just give you the title or the name of the person who who wrote this, Stephen Kohler, The Art of Impossible.
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:41.119
And and in it, he gets to meet, by the way.
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:44.480
Yeah, we'll link in the show notes because these these sound great, Keith.
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:50.000
Yeah, because the art of impossible gets into a lot, a lot about the mindset, a lot about the strategy, the approach.
00:25:50.319 --> 00:25:54.880
Fear is is a is is one that oftentimes keeps people from doing the thing that they should be doing.
00:25:54.960 --> 00:26:07.119
There's a whole chapter in there about stepping into the fear and finding joy in the fear, because once you step into the fear, you realize that that your perception was more fearful than the actual thing itself.
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:12.880
And he the art of impossible is about setting impossible goals and then making them happen.
00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:24.880
And the way that you make them happen is by having that lofty aspirational piece, but then having just the the miniature goals in between, the just the the hard things that you need to do, the consistency behind it.
00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:27.599
So for us, we break that down even further.
00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:33.279
Um, we create a uh for from the whole networking piece of it, it's 90 days.
00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:36.079
We only look at 90 days and we A-B test.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:38.480
It's okay, the I really I like this.
00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:41.279
I want to I want to get to know this person better.
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:46.480
So I'm gonna spend 90 days of intentionally reaching out to them, inviting them to coffee.
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:52.160
Experiences, by the way, is at the highest level of relationship investment.
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:56.799
One of the things we talk about is in investing in relationship equity.
00:26:57.279 --> 00:26:59.839
What is the value of the relationship?
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:11.119
And experiences are at the top of the list, like going golfing, going hiking, going biking, whatever your personal passions are, make those connections with the people that you really want to cultivate relationships.
00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:12.880
But it's it's it's a 90-day plan.
00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:14.640
And it's always a 90-day plan.
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:23.599
So after 90 days of implementing this strategy, like you do in your business, like if it's not working, we need to either uh re-strategize or kill it.
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:30.559
And then, like with the people that you talked about, it's like, well, I don't know if this, if this, you know, the kind of relationship's kind of I'm gonna give it 90 days.
00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:33.359
And after 90 days, I I don't see what I'm getting out of it.
00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:34.559
I'm gonna kill it.
00:27:34.799 --> 00:27:35.519
Oh, wow.
00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:37.119
Just let let it go.
00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:37.759
Let it go.
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:38.400
Oh my god.
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:46.319
It's not that you're giving up on the person, it's just that this this connection, there's a chemistry in in business and in relationships, like for the leaders here.
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:52.160
There's there's that chemistry for your for the internal team that you have, for the leaders that you're cultivating.
00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:52.960
There's a chemistry there.
00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:55.519
You've all hired somebody to be like, this guy's the wrong fit.
00:27:55.759 --> 00:27:58.640
It's the same thing in building relationships.
00:27:58.960 --> 00:27:59.359
Yeah.
00:27:59.519 --> 00:27:59.839
Yeah.
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:01.839
If it's not working, don't invest your time.
00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:02.960
It's not you.
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:07.359
Yes, you're talking to me right now, Keith, because I I have been known.
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:10.559
God forbid I kill a relationship after 90 days.
00:28:10.720 --> 00:28:15.039
Again, I am the five years later, I'm still trying.
00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:25.680
And uh, you know, sometimes these things turn around, but I I don't have a doubt in the world that I've probably way over invested, probably made a few folks think I was a stalker.
00:28:25.839 --> 00:28:27.119
So I'm glad you're too.
00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:30.960
That's it.
00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:32.960
I've done it, I've done it too.
00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:41.359
Yeah, and you know, I will tell you that, and I don't know if you find that in some industries, maybe you know, you're playing a little bit of a longer game.
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:46.240
You know, I I describe the business I'm in as a huge relationship business.
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:50.319
And I've had clients where we've worked together for 10 years or more.
00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:55.359
So, you know, but but I but your point is is such a good one, right?
00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:56.559
There's that balance there.
00:28:56.720 --> 00:29:03.200
And so um I think about folks that are again, they're just getting started.
00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:06.000
They feel like Keith, I'm years behind.
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:11.039
Um what else can I be doing to accelerate the process?
00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:13.200
So again, I have my 90-day focus.
00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:16.640
I'm A-B testing, I've got my five names.
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:23.279
You've talked about experience as the highest form of relationship building.
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:32.799
Um what else are you seeing that you'd advise people to do or maybe not do if we're really trying to grow and focus in this area?
00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:33.759
Yeah.
00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:42.160
I I had a chance to, we we do a lot of work within the uh the architecture, engineering, construction space, uh, industrial real estate.
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:45.440
We also work with legal teams quite a bit as well.
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:52.319
And I was sitting at uh uh at a it's called BD Exchange, it's for business development managers.
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:59.680
And they they they they were having a meeting, and the the gentleman by the name of Tom Mitchell, he's the senior principal for the DLR group.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:08.720
And one of the things he talked about is because he talked so much about relationships, but he talked about relationships for for both internal and external.
00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:13.680
And the moderator is was actually his is one of his employees, one of his BD managers.
00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:17.599
And he's like, you know, I remember everybody's birthday.
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:20.160
Everybody gets a handwritten note from me on their birthday.
00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:29.200
And in fact, they also have a choice if they want the uh traditional birthday song, if they want it in Spanish, or if they want their birthday song as in yacht rock.
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:30.960
And it was this lady's birthday is coming up.
00:30:31.119 --> 00:30:33.519
He's like, Teresa, how do you want your birthday song this year?
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:37.599
She's like, I would love to have yacht rock places like fantastic, yacht rock coming up.
00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:47.440
So to me, that that is an intentional leader who understands that the people that are really making him successful are the ones who need he needs to cultivate more relationships with.
00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:50.640
So he he writes them, he writes them uh thank you cards.
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:52.799
He he say he calls them on their birthdays.
00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:55.920
Like he has a relationship with everybody on his team.
00:30:56.160 --> 00:31:02.160
And this speaks to me because I remember when I was just on the about two years before I stepped out of corporate.
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:07.839
Um, the the president of the company at the time was was, I could tell just emotionally was having a really hard time.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:09.599
I had a good personal relationship with him.
00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:13.119
And he's like, he's like, you know, I just I just feel like I don't don't don't know anybody here.
00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:14.559
I feel like people don't know me anymore.
00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:15.920
And I was like, okay.
00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:18.799
Uh I said if you're open to it, I'd I have one suggestion.
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:20.160
Do this one thing.
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:21.599
And he's like, what do you got?
00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:26.400
I was like, our building has east and west entrances.
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:28.720
Your office is on the top west side.
00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:33.839
You always enter through the west entrance, take the staircase straight up and to your desk.
00:31:34.319 --> 00:31:42.000
I encourage you park on the east side and then just walk through the building and find a different route every time and just say good morning to people.
00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:56.559
And it's not that you're looking for a long, it drawn out conversation, but stop at one person's desk intentionally and have a conversation with them that is a personable conversation, not about business, not about their numbers or any of those things, just a human-to-human connection.
00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:00.880
I said, do that for the next 90 days and then see what happens.
00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:04.319
And and he stepped into it and he he kept it up for 30 days.
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:05.839
I was really proud of him.
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:09.359
And then slowly just he just started going back to the other side.
00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:17.599
But what was interesting, and over the course of those 30 days, the amount of people that were in the break room, they're like, uh, did uh did did John stop by your desk?
00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:19.119
He's like, Yeah, he did.
00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:20.960
He wanted to know how my kids were doing.
00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:22.240
Like, what's going on?
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:23.759
It's like that.
00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:28.240
It's what's going on is as a result of them never having connected with you before.
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:30.640
So they're like, what's the purpose behind this?
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:34.400
But if you do this long enough, that doesn't turn into like what's going on here.
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:36.160
It turns more into a relationship.
00:32:36.480 --> 00:32:39.279
So your team members, they do a lot of work for you.
00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:41.119
They work really hard.
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:46.319
And uh people don't buy Simon said, people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do what you do.
00:32:46.480 --> 00:32:58.720
And if you're stepping into it as a leader and having that connection with them and understand their why, understand a little bit about them personally, it's gonna go that that is an investment in relationship equity that's actually gonna help your business.
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:05.440
So if you don't want to step out and go and build those relationships, then what are you doing to intentionally build the relationships inside?
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:09.920
Because if all of you're having is meetings, meetings are about getting stuff done.
00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:15.519
Yeah, we find ourselves in meetings after meetings, a meeting about a meeting at a Starbucks inside of a Starbucks, right?
00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:17.279
It's like, what are we meeting about?
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:17.759
Right.
00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:18.720
That's right.
00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:22.640
Well, and I think in particular, Keith, you know, uh a couple of things I've noticed.
00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:24.640
First of all, some of my clients, they're fully remote.
00:33:24.720 --> 00:33:32.480
And so unfortunately, right, unless it's extremely intentional and deliberate and they want to make the investment, they're not necessarily meeting face to face.
00:33:32.799 --> 00:33:43.359
On the other hand, I have seen situations inside an organization where for a variety of reasons, but sometimes it's well, I'm just in my office, and so we get on a Zoom call, even though half the team is in the building.
00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:44.319
You know what I mean?
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:47.759
And we're still sort of behind the screen.
00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:54.240
So I think, you know, there's this element of whether it's an underdeveloped muscle, we don't have as many opportunities.
00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:57.920
It requires us to be, as you've been saying, even more intentional.
00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:03.920
And I I want to come back to the idea you said early on about you bringing them more into your world.
00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:06.640
Um what did that mean?
00:34:06.799 --> 00:34:07.920
What do you mean by that?
00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:09.840
And and what does that look like?
00:34:10.239 --> 00:34:14.400
Yeah, uh, I take ownership of the relationships that I have.
00:34:14.559 --> 00:34:15.119
It's interesting.
00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:22.000
I was having uh a mentor uh uh uh conversation yesterday with uh a young professional.
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:25.760
He's in the financial space, and and we were talking about relationships.
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:28.639
He's like, I just feel like nobody ever calls and reaches out to me.
00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:31.599
He's like, Don't you think that they should be calling me as well?
00:34:31.760 --> 00:34:33.360
I was like, I used to think that.
00:34:33.519 --> 00:34:34.960
I still hope for it.
00:34:35.119 --> 00:34:37.360
Some people do, but the majority of them don't.
00:34:37.519 --> 00:34:42.159
And you know, I'm at a point now where that's okay because I I'm happy to own this.
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:50.239
I will own this space and I will control this space and I will control the opportunity to control the narrative and control the messaging and control the outreach.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:54.000
I will invest in this relationship because I see a value in this.
00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:58.800
And it's it's moving away from this, this um uh this this tit for tat.
00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:01.920
Like I called you now, you should call me, and then I will call you.
00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:07.440
That that's let let that go because that's a transactional relationship, right?
00:35:07.519 --> 00:35:16.159
If you think about the closest relationships that that you have, like with like with your loved ones, is there a is there a parking meter that's running that we're both feeding?
00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:21.599
Or is it just matter you're just doing great things and just walking down the street and just putting quarters in everybody's meter?
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:29.039
Like, what is what is your intentionality and and the whole thing, I don't have time, it comes back to the catch 22.
00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:30.400
Nobody has time.
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:33.440
And if nobody has time, that means that everybody has time.
00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:38.880
We have time to focus on the things that we choose to put importance into.
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:53.599
And if relationships are that important, especially with quiet quitting and and the the how difficult it is to get great talent into your business, well, let that be the reason for you to invest in relationship capital because that's what that is.
00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:59.199
Every conversation, every time you connect with them, every touch base, and even at the beginning of meetings.
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:03.280
I listened to a great speaker, uh, Scott Tibbets.
00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:11.840
Uh he uh he's he built a company that ended up uh building the actuator motors that uh activated the Mars rover when it landed.
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:12.960
Oh, wow.
00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:15.199
Yeah, he now has a keynote.
00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:22.719
Uh, and if you've got a corporate business, I highly recommend bringing him in because he is a brilliant speaker who's done incredible things, Scott Tibbets.
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:26.480
Uh it's uh leadership is not rocket science.
00:36:26.719 --> 00:36:27.920
Oh, I like it.
00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:35.360
And what he speaks to is his two pillars for the for this space company that he he built is family and fun.
00:36:35.519 --> 00:36:37.119
Those are his two pillars.
00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:48.079
And one of the things that he had that I just absolutely loved is uh he had awards, awards for success and also awards for the greatest failures, is is get people to celebrate their failures.
00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:50.239
Like this thing went horribly wrong.
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:56.239
Yeah, and as a result of it, this is what we learn, as opposed to where the positive numbers, right?
00:36:56.320 --> 00:37:00.960
Uh people start scrubbing the numbers because they want to want to control it because they want to make you happy.
00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:02.880
Like start celebrating both of them.
00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:03.519
That's right.
00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:06.719
And and that's right, celebrate the people that are doing this.
00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:07.519
Yeah.
00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:08.320
Yeah.
00:37:08.639 --> 00:37:20.159
I mean, I love the way you've been talking about this with us, Keith, because I think you really have gotten us out of this mindset of networking as being transactional or just kind of that ick we feel sometimes, even with the word.
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:28.559
I know you and I earlier, I was saying to you, I've always thought of it as I'm just, you know, I'm trying to build relationships, but I'm trying to make friends and see people, right?
00:37:28.639 --> 00:37:36.639
These are friendships that, you know, that we want to last a long time and feel everybody's excited about the relationship.
00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:40.480
Um, is there anything else that you would have us know?
00:37:40.639 --> 00:37:46.639
And tell us certainly, Keith, what else do you do with the leaders that you work with?
00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:55.599
I want to make sure people know about more about your business and the kind of cool work you're doing just to get people even better at relationship building and networking and so on.
00:37:55.920 --> 00:37:59.920
Everything becomes a lot easier when it's not about you.
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:05.199
Stop moving through the world like that that you're the center of it all.
00:38:05.360 --> 00:38:06.719
Place other people at the center.
00:38:06.960 --> 00:38:14.800
When you place other people intentionally at the center, which means that I want to get to know, like, and trust you, they will place you at the center.
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:18.079
It's it's it's a it's it's it's an altruistic mindset.
00:38:18.239 --> 00:38:21.360
I back at my time in the Marine Corps, uh, you learn a lot of things.
00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:24.719
And one of the things you learn is the importance of thinking about other people.
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:35.840
And and the reason why a uh a fire team or a core unit is so powerful, it's five people, but it's really 25 minds because everybody's thinking about everybody else and not thinking about themselves.
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:45.679
So who are the people in your in in your sphere of influence that that you need to connect with where you're all thinking about each other?
00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:47.760
Like, how can I how can I help this person out?
00:38:47.840 --> 00:38:49.119
Who can I introduce them to?
00:38:49.199 --> 00:38:54.639
So start thinking of the the relationships that you have, not what you can get out of them, but what you can put into them.
00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:56.800
And and it and it takes the pressure off.
00:38:56.880 --> 00:38:59.920
And in improv, I have a background in improvisational theater.
00:39:00.159 --> 00:39:02.800
It's called getting out of your head and getting present in the moment.
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:06.960
Stop thinking about you, start thinking about other people.
00:39:07.280 --> 00:39:18.000
And one of the ways that we do that is we have a uh a two-day networking practice lab where this whole algorithm that's up here, which is uh the road mapping, what's the strategy?
00:39:18.079 --> 00:39:19.039
Where are you showing up?
00:39:19.119 --> 00:39:22.000
Where do you need to be showing up that you're not showing up?
00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:24.400
And then what's the engaging?
00:39:24.639 --> 00:39:26.559
What is the intentional conversation you want to have?
00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:28.639
Because we know how conversations go.
00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:31.679
And most people struggle with conversations.
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:35.679
So we actually coach people on how to be a conversational concierge, not small talk.
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:49.360
And I hear talk about the weather, we're gonna have intentional, human-to-human interactive conversations that allow us to get to know each other and we have a chance to be able to share values with each other and experiences with each other, and then the practice of it.
00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:54.320
What are you doing as a leader to improve upon your ability to communicate?
00:39:54.800 --> 00:40:04.719
Because the reason why I ended up leaving corporate America is because the the leader who was brought into the business that I worked at, he a one-on-one, he was great.
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:06.079
Boardrooms was good.
00:40:06.239 --> 00:40:09.599
Put him in front of the legacy team members and he he fell apart.
00:40:09.760 --> 00:40:12.960
And and all I wanted to do was just give him a hug every single time.
00:40:13.039 --> 00:40:19.840
And I finally decided, like, you know what, I need to step into the world and and help prevent unintentional audience abuse.
00:40:20.079 --> 00:40:25.039
That's really my initial mission is preventing unintentional audience abuse.
00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:26.880
Please tell us what that is, Keith.
00:40:27.039 --> 00:40:27.920
Yeah, what is that?
00:40:28.159 --> 00:40:29.199
I love that phrase.
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:31.519
I think we're gonna have to use it more on this podcast.
00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:32.320
Yes, what is it?
00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:35.599
So unintentional audience abuse, first and foremost, it's unintentional.
00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:36.719
So it's not malicious.
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:40.800
The speaker is not intentionally creating or causing harm.
00:40:40.960 --> 00:40:46.159
It's just as a result of their actions that the the audience is feeling pain.
00:40:46.239 --> 00:40:50.960
And when the audience feels pain, the speaker also feels pain, and then all of a sudden, this thing is hard.
00:40:51.199 --> 00:40:58.880
So unintentional audience abuse is we've we've all sat in an audience where the speaker is speaking to just facts, figures, and platitudes.
00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:01.360
And they're not they're not bringing a story into it.
00:41:01.440 --> 00:41:03.360
There's no why, there's just hows and whats.
00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:07.920
And we as leaders oftentimes find ourselves just speaking to hows and what's.
00:41:08.079 --> 00:41:10.559
What we need to be speaking to is the why.
00:41:10.719 --> 00:41:11.840
Back to Simon Snake.
00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:13.920
People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do what you do.
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:15.760
And that why is a story.
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:27.519
So, so in that is if there is a an initiative within the the business, share your your personal relationship to why you feel that this is important and why, why, why this is showing up.
00:41:27.760 --> 00:41:31.360
And then the other side of it is is the strength of your speech.
00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:42.320
Because unintentional audience abuse has the holy trinity of regret, shoulda, woulda, coulda, possibly, maybe, probably, sorta, kinda, maybe.
00:41:42.559 --> 00:41:47.440
When we speak like that, we're we're speaking in it from from states of doubt.
00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:52.000
And that the words that we say is actually the thoughts that we're having.
00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:52.480
Yes.
00:41:52.639 --> 00:41:58.159
So if you're thinking about those things like, you know, we hope, we hope that this year we have a really good sales cycle.
00:41:58.559 --> 00:42:02.719
I would go find another job if my boss said that to me, because hope is not a strategy.
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:09.119
We should be speaking in our intention, our focus, our direction, our marketing plan is to do this.
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:10.960
That's strength of speech.
00:42:11.039 --> 00:42:12.719
Now you're you're carrying people.
00:42:12.800 --> 00:42:14.239
And and do things go wrong?
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:16.079
Does that end up not always working out?
00:42:16.239 --> 00:42:16.639
Sure.
00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:23.599
But if people are going to buy into you for you being the leader, you need to show up and speak like the leader.
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:32.559
So preventing unintentional audience abuse is working with business professionals on their actual communication for well, back to back to Shakespeare, Elizabeth.
00:42:32.719 --> 00:42:33.760
All the world's a stage.
00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:38.800
How you show up is a direct reflection of your personal professional brand's ability to communicate.
00:42:38.960 --> 00:42:41.199
So, as a leader, what stages are you taking?
00:42:42.239 --> 00:42:46.800
And then what are the gifts that you're giving to your audience?
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:48.239
I give this to you.
00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:49.599
Yes.
00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:50.480
Yeah.
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:53.920
Well, Keith, listen, you have given us many, many gifts.
00:42:54.079 --> 00:42:54.639
You really have.
00:42:55.039 --> 00:42:56.800
Put me on my soapbox, Elizabeth.
00:42:57.039 --> 00:42:59.760
But you know, I think that this is what we need to hear.
00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:05.199
And I think everyone as we're listening is thinking, yeah, these are absolutely things that we can do.
00:43:05.280 --> 00:43:06.320
And it's a journey, right?
00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.559
We're all continuing to grow and learn.
00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:11.599
And like, what better thing is there to grow and learn?
00:43:11.679 --> 00:43:13.679
And it's just we get to meet awesome people.
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:15.599
It's it's this guy right here, practice.
00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:19.360
Practice is for for for us is the key element to it.
00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:24.239
Here, here's here's the last quick, quick analogous story as to why we do what we do.
00:43:25.199 --> 00:43:26.400
Professionals.
00:43:26.719 --> 00:43:30.880
Business professionals are the only professionals who do not practice their craft.
00:43:30.960 --> 00:43:33.599
And our craft is communication for the spoken word.
00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:40.239
We lead by the words that we speak, yet we never show up to any place to practice them with intentionality.
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:44.079
Imagine, imagine uh LeBron James goes to his coach.
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:46.000
He's like, you know, I've been doing this for 20 years.
00:43:46.239 --> 00:43:46.960
I'm pretty awesome.
00:43:47.119 --> 00:43:49.039
Not sure if you know, but I'm kind of a big deal.
00:43:49.199 --> 00:43:51.840
So I'm not going to do free throws and layups anymore.
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:57.119
My bread and butter, the thing that wins games, I'm just not going to practice that anymore because I've been doing it for so long.
00:43:58.800 --> 00:44:01.840
First, his coach would be like, Like, uh, no, that's not an option.
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:06.320
And second, we know the work ethic of LeBron James that he would never say those words.
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:15.679
So, as a leader, what are you doing to intentionally improve upon your ability, your personal professional brand's ability to communicate?
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:18.960
And in that, it is go go take an improv class.
00:44:19.119 --> 00:44:23.920
Improv is is one of the best ways to learn how to develop social skills for communication.
00:44:24.079 --> 00:44:26.320
Uh, go take uh an acting class.
00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:28.559
Uh, go to Toastmasters.
00:44:28.639 --> 00:44:34.880
Um, I'm actually, I just shared this with my uh, I just share this with my my business partners.
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:39.519
Um, next year for for three months, I'm I'm gonna take a clown class.
00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:42.559
Okay, everybody, we heard it here.
00:44:45.039 --> 00:44:47.280
That is gonna be awesome.
00:44:47.679 --> 00:44:48.639
Why not?
00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:50.000
Exactly.
00:44:50.159 --> 00:44:51.360
It's practice.
00:44:52.239 --> 00:44:53.119
I love that.
00:44:53.280 --> 00:45:01.360
Yes, yes, but it's it's such a great point, and it really struck me as you said it that um who's practicing?
00:45:01.679 --> 00:45:12.320
This is for every all of us, you know, it's critical to the brand, to the livelihood, and yet um a lot of us are not doing that necessarily.
00:45:12.480 --> 00:45:22.800
So, I mean, what I love about your lab, right, is you're giving people that opportunity to do all of these things in it, sounds like a really great, safe setting.
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:26.159
And maybe tell us when you when is your next lab?
00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:27.920
Oh, how can people learn more?
00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:29.440
Let's hear about that, Keith.
00:45:29.920 --> 00:45:31.840
I thank you so much for this opportunity.
00:45:31.920 --> 00:45:33.039
I I so appreciate it.
00:45:33.119 --> 00:45:38.239
We actually have um our next network of action where we have we have a back-to-back.
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:41.119
Uh we've got one coming up September 24th and 25th.
00:45:41.199 --> 00:45:42.960
It's gonna be in Las Vegas, Nevada.
00:45:43.199 --> 00:45:44.400
Oh, okay, everyone.
00:45:44.880 --> 00:45:47.039
No, we're we're taking the show on the road.
00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:51.199
Uh, and then it is October 1st and 2nd here in Denver.
00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:52.800
Oh, fantastic.
00:45:52.960 --> 00:45:53.599
Okay, yeah.
00:45:53.679 --> 00:46:08.159
And and the way they work is day one is is we work a little bit on the road mapping and the strategy, but we spend a huge portion of it on the engaging and the conversations that you want to have to be a conversation concierge is what we teach you to be.
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:12.480
And because we practice that that evening we go to a networking event just to put things into play.
00:46:12.719 --> 00:46:16.719
Because the best ways that we learn is practice, play, integrate.
00:46:17.119 --> 00:46:19.280
Repeat, practice, play, integrate.
00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:22.480
This is how professional athletes improve upon their skill sets.
00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:26.159
And we as business professionals can improve upon our ability to communicate.
00:46:26.480 --> 00:46:29.599
Day two, it's it's all road mapping.
00:46:29.679 --> 00:46:32.000
It's going deep into that plan and that strategy.
00:46:32.079 --> 00:46:34.000
We help you build out a 90-day plan.
00:46:34.159 --> 00:46:38.239
And then uh at the end of it, at the end of two days, you've got a plan that's put together.
00:46:38.400 --> 00:46:49.119
There is an invitation if you want to join us for the practice field, which is a one-year training evolution where we just we stay connected and we keep guiding and coaching you for all things communication.
00:46:49.440 --> 00:46:50.079
Yes.
00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:51.840
Also so valuable.
00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:54.800
Two days, right, is incredible, but we know, right?
00:46:54.880 --> 00:46:57.920
It's the repetition, it's the habit, it's over time.
00:46:58.320 --> 00:47:03.440
And I can imagine you see people make just huge, huge strides over that year, Keith.
00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:04.400
I'm sure you do.
00:47:04.639 --> 00:47:04.960
Yeah.
00:47:05.199 --> 00:47:05.360
Yeah.
00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:09.199
The confidence is what brings me some of the greatest joys.
00:47:09.280 --> 00:47:16.480
Just the ability for people to be specific, concise, and memorable, and to be articulate.
00:47:16.639 --> 00:47:21.679
Like that is to me, our our mission is to help business professionals live a life well spoken.
00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:22.960
Life is hard.
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:32.000
And when you can't clearly communicate what it is that you need or what is the vision of your businesses, you're you're going to really struggle.
00:47:32.079 --> 00:47:33.280
And I empathize with that.
00:47:33.440 --> 00:47:34.800
And that's what we're here to help with.
00:47:35.599 --> 00:47:39.679
Oh well, um, this is really, really great work.
00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:45.519
And uh, you know, hard to imagine what what's more important to professionals out there.
00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:50.079
And so, Keith, so delighted to have you with us on the podcast.
00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:55.039
I'm sure you're gonna get all kinds of inquiries and interest um because this is just so valuable.
00:47:55.199 --> 00:47:56.639
And so thank you for joining us.
00:47:56.719 --> 00:48:03.280
Hey, everybody, you can check out Keith, check out his company, go through the show notes, and we'll have all the links there.
00:48:03.440 --> 00:48:05.920
All right, until next time, I'll see you in Executive Land.
00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:07.519
Thanks, everybody.
00:48:07.840 --> 00:48:10.159
Well, that's all for today in Executive Land.
00:48:10.239 --> 00:48:11.039
Thanks for listening.
00:48:11.119 --> 00:48:21.199
And if you're looking for more, check out my website, eSuiteleader.com, where you'll see all kinds of free resources and take the free executive readiness assessment.
00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:25.920
It shows you exactly where you're strong and where to focus next in your own leadership.
00:48:26.079 --> 00:48:30.880
And don't forget, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode.
00:48:31.119 --> 00:48:33.280
I'll see you next time in Executive Land.