WEBVTT
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Welcome to the Group Answers Podcast.
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I'm your host, Brian Daniel.
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This is the weekly show designed specifically for pastors, disciple makers, group pastors, and small group leaders.
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Truly, we are created to help anyone with bottom line responsibilities for discipleship.
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Our goal is simple to resource, train, and encourage you in the vital work of discipleship.
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This is the Group Answers Podcast.
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Let's do it.
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Welcome back to the Group Answers Podcast.
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And as always, I'm Brian Daniel, and I am here with a special guest today as a pretty much lifelong Georgia football fan.
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And um, it started, you know, it was right around 1979, 1980 with the kid from Riceville, Georgia, and Horsel Walker really did the trick.
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He was all right, he was pretty good.
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He did okay.
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Uh man, I it was like someone stole Christmas when he left early, just by the way.
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Yeah so David Pollack, ladies and gentlemen, three-time All-American, College Football Hall of Famer, former broadcaster, husband of Lindsay.
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Welcome to the group answer show.
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David, it's really it's really cool to have you with us today.
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My favorite way you just described me was husband of Lindsay.
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That's my that's my favorite.
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So I like that.
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See, see, we go way back, don't we?
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All right.
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So you're on the road a lot, you've been given quite the testimony.
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Um, you know, part of your background, of course, football is a big part of that story.
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Um, you have dealt with just like any of us have, but you know, when you live a public life and discouragement is kind of out there for everybody to see, that's that's unique.
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And so I think you have a unique perspective on a lot of things.
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So, you know, not to draw too straight a line, David, but being a group leader can, and emphasize can be a bit of a lonely journey.
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Um, you know, to carry a bit, uh, you know, it's overstating it maybe to say burden, but there's certainly a weight when you're taking on that level of leadership and um, you know, just discipleship.
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I mean, if you do it right, you're accepting that mantle of being the spiritual leader and shepherd to some extent and advisor as a group leader.
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So I would ask you just here as we start, what have you learned about perseverance uh that might be helpful to ministry leaders and group leaders that are out there listening?
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Well, I think the the cool thing about being a group group leader is there's also a level of accountability that comes with it, right?
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Like you you are held to a standard.
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There's accountability with the people that you're leading, there's accountability for you to read, there's accountability for you to to shepherd, right?
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Like there's a lot of really good things that come with it.
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And I think too, when you're studying to teach, like I think you, I think you retain things better and you personalize things better.
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And I think when you have to teach them, it's harder, right?
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Like, so there's a lot of good things about it that these these leadership roles exist and they push you to become a better version of you, which I think is fantastic.
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So perseverance is a tool that God uses.
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And I think He or it's something that God develops in us.
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It's a it's something that He's continuing to develop in all of us that we all need.
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Like we all have to be able to persevere.
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And I think the hardest thing about um hard circumstances is do you can sit, can you consistently meet the standard?
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Can you consistently keep keeping on, right?
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To make it simple.
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But I think to have perseverance, it's like it's very simple to me.
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It's like standards over feelings.
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Okay.
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Like I have a standard.
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This is who I am, this is what I am.
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Feelings don't matter, right?
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Like feelings come and go.
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Like I think I feel like this, I don't feel like this, I don't feel like I can do this.
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It doesn't matter, right?
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Like this is who I am, this is where my heart's beating for.
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I'm not gonna accept less than this.
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And I think when you can when you have standards and you and you keep those standards, that's that's how you persevere, right?
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Like you continue to be in a good uh in a good place to make the right decisions, to make the right choices, because you know what you're accepting and what you're not gonna accept, and what you're not gonna accept in your life.
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So it's um it's in a it's a great ability to be able to lead, and leaders have to have perseverance and not get frustrated when they're leading someone that doesn't want to be led.
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Because we all have those in our lives too, where it's hard to push them, right?
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Like you feel like you're dragging them sometimes, and you need a fresh perspective, and you got to have that perseverance to continue to show up and do what God's commanded you to do.
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Yeah, the standards versus feelings, I I haven't heard it put that way before, but feelings like emotions are whimsical, just like you said, David, they come and go.
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But to have that standard and really uh, well, not really, but and uh in all reality, scripture lays out Paul talks about living a way worthy of your calling.
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And I think that's the standard that we're called to.
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That's really helpful and really good because as a group leader, I think sometimes we do let our the whimsy kind of get us, and we and we and we take and we take the bait and we go on that ride and we forget what our standards are and what that calling is.
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Regarding perseverance uh perseverance, let me ask you like what those moments when, in particular, when you're trying to pull someone along, like this idea or notion of leadership, what have you learned about is it just patience?
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Is it just staying on message?
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Do you is it a feel like a prayerful posture and feeling when you know when to up that intensity?
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Or do you not wait on intensity?
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I mean, I don't know you that well, but I know you well enough to know you probably don't wait on intensity.
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But what have you learned about like those when you're leading someone, what are those triggers um or those methods that you've learned?
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I think ways to relate.
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So, first of all, you got to be consistent.
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You've got to be consistent.
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That's that's the number one thing.
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And I think I think the number two thing to me is like you've got to share your failures.
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Like we have a small group every week in our basement, right over here.
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And and every week, man, I'm going to bring up a couple of things in a parenting in my wife, in my in my relationship with my wife, where I'm failing and where I need to I need to apply parts of the message.
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Like, I'm not perfect, I don't have this all figured out.
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I need you to understand that.
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Like, we're pursuing this together.
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I, you know, nobody wants to follow a know it all, right?
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Like you, you you have all the answers.
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That's fantastic.
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Like you can you can have all the answers, but you got to be able to live them out, right?
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Like, and that's the most important thing.
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So showing them that you're human, showing them that you have a need for God, like that you have a need to continue to to to um to chase, right?
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Like you need God, you need got God's help consistently.
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So I think I think those are really, really important things, man.
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Like it's um, it's not a same, it's not a one size fits all either, dog.
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Like, that's not the way life works.
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People aren't made the same.
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Thank goodness.
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How boring would this life be if we were all like me?
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Like, we'd be actually too many, too many ADD people, too many zoo, zoo, zoos all over the place, right?
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So I think it's awesome that we when you find like leadership requires getting to know someone.
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It requires consistently showing up, and it requires like what do they have?
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What what what makes them tick?
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What are the areas where I can push back, I can challenge?
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What are the areas where you know I need to pull back a little bit?
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And so everybody's going to be different, and we've got to figure that out as leaders.
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To be successful, what you just described is both being known, so that's trusted, but also to know.
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And so you have to take be intentional about getting to know people so you know where those buttons are.
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I'm sure you would agree, particularly being, you know, growing up in football.
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Ask questions.
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Ask questions repeatedly.
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It's just like with your kids, too, right?
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Like you need to know how they're feeling and what they're going through and what they want more of.
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You got to ask questions of that.
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Well, so the book, Everyday Counts, Start Where You Are, Use What You Have, Do What You Can Is Available Now anywhere you Buy Books.
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So we'll get to more about that in a minute.
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But uh, in that book, you have a lot to say about discipline and goal setting.
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So I would ask you, how does the character attribute of discipline, David, uh, and the practice of goal setting play into your current life?
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And how would you apply this to group leaders and disciple makers?
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So, two-prone question.
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How you know, how have you seen that play out in your own life?
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And then how do we apply that in our in our ministry leadership?
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Well, I mean, discipline's the foundation of everything.
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And listen, like you can't tell me you want something if you don't have the discipline to do it.
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You can't tell me you really want to go make a difference and you want to pursue God if you don't have the discipline to get still and to get with God and to read his word.
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Right?
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Like that, those things have to go hand in hand.
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And so I think one thing about discipline, be selfish in the morning so you can be selfless the rest of the day.
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Like get in your word, get in your word in the morning.
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Do the things in the morning that you need to get done, man.
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Like those are the get your important stuff done so nothing comes up to get in your way.
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No distractions, fatigue doesn't enter.
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You know, like I think that's one of Satan's favorite things is to keep us distracted, right?
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And that's phones and and and all the job, jobs, and communicate, all that stuff does a really, really good job of that.
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So we've got to be intentional.
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You know, your alignment directly affects your assignment, right?
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Like if you want to climb a mountain, it's one step at a time.
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But a lot of times you get to climb and you get to the top of the mountain, you wrote, you know, that's the wrong mountain.
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I climbed the wrong freaking mountain, right?
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Like I'm supposed to be over there.
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So it starts with intentionality, and that's what we have to be every single day.
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The goal setting component, like we talk about this in the book a little bit.
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Like text yourself the night before you go to bed.
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What are three things that are non-negotiable tomorrow?
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Three things I'm gonna get done.
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You can do a spiritual one, a friendship one, a family one, a business one.
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You can do whatever you want.
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Like just shoot yourself a text.
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The first thing you do in the morning, most of y'all is look at your phone right away, right?
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And then I see my goals and I see my things that are gonna be important.
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Like, I think I think goal setting is great.
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I think long-term goal setting is great, but the most important thing about goal setting is today.
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Like, I have to win today to make those big goals come true down the road.
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And a lot of times I think people think they get all the information, they do all the goal setting, all the detailing, and they don't start.
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Like you got to start, right?
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You got to start exactly where you are.
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And that's why I say goal setting for today.
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Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
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This is where I'm at.
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Like, I might want to get there, but I got to use the gifts that God's given me right now and where I'm at to continue developing.
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Because I think we all look back three years ago, two years ago, and we're like, man, I wish I knew what I knew now.
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Right?
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We should be doing that.
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That's a good thing.
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We should be looking back, going, if I'd have known that, I'd have been better because that means we've grown.
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That means we've learned and we're going in the right direction.
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What is your morning routine?
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Is that the extent of it?
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Is getting in the word, or there is there a sequence?
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I have a sequence.
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I do it every day, the same thing.
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First thing I do is I get up, I go straight to my sauna and I get in the sauna and I get in there for 20 minutes and I listen to God.
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And I talk to him as well, but I do a lot of listening.
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And, you know, what I've learned, man, is if I'm gonna bring God into my life, if we're gonna have a relationship, I've got to get still enough to listen to him.
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If I'm gonna stay busy and go, go, go, do, do, do, I can get through a whole day and Davey's in control.
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Like I'm doing what I want, when I want, how I want, how I schedule.
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If I can get still and have a conversation with God and bring him into my days, now I use the three Rs to do this.
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This is the way I do it.
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Like, I think to me, prayer is extremely repetitious.
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It can, it can be boring, it can be awkward.
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Like it can be.
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Like it you can get stuck in the rut of saying the same prayer over and over and over again.
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So I use the three R's every single morning.
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The first one is reflect.
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Like yesterday, what did I do, man?
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Like, what was my day?
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Walk me through my day.
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Like, take I'm taking God through my day.
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So, for example, like I'm getting up like, you know, this morning, I go out, my sauna's on, I get in my sauna, I close my eyes, and I reflect on yesterday.
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What did I do?
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And for me, I traveled with my baby doll.
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I was thanking God for the time, the time I had with my daughter.
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Like we finished with a conversation with my daughter last night of things that I needed to pray about, right?
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Like because I'm reflecting, now I have things that I'm bringing like to God today that is in my life that are current things as opposed to thank you for my children.
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I'm I have specific things that are going on in my children's life to reflect on.
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The second R is repent.
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God, where did I mess up, man?
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I messed this up, I'm giving it to you.
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Like that's very self-explanatory.
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The third one is repurpose.
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Okay, God, this is what I have today.
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I messed this up yesterday.
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I messed this up.
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Um, this is what happened.
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Like, God, I have a meeting at three o'clock.
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I have an interview.
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Will you please be in it?
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Like, I want you to be in it.
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Like inviting God throughout your day, walking him through the day that you're gonna have, and asking him to open doors, asking him to close windows, whatever that looks like.
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But that that that routine for me, it gets me with God.
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It gets God within my day.
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And then when I put his word into my uh body early in the morning, guess what?
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I put that here, guess where it comes out?
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Right out of here.
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I put the word of God in my heart, it comes right out of my mouth all throughout the day.
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Um, so that's how I get started every morning.
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Yeah, this is under the broader uh the the broader category, everybody, of discipline.
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And so to everyone that's a ministry leader out there, I I think everyone can relate to this that sometimes you we let things go.
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And if you let it go once, it's just easier to let it go again.
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And so David's uh three R's, which is reflect, repent, repurpose, you know, you don't need a sauna in your home to do this.
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So that's a really good reminder.
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And again, this is this is who we are called to be, and it's the mantle of leadership.
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And uh, I think that's just a really good word.
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So thank you, David, for that.
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And um, so I would I would speculate, and I could be wrong here, that we don't have very many, if any, defensive players of the year and former or current NFL players in our listenership.
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Even so, I think it would be really interesting, David, to hear about the intersection of sports and faith.
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And uh, and I think that would be encouraging to those tuning into this episode.
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I think it's awesome to watch the boldness of Christ now in faith, the boldness of saying the name of Jesus.
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There was a there was a time when it was God, right?
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And it was kind of faux pod.
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Because look, let's be honest, Christians are probably the most scrutinized, talked-about group.
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Like we're attacked a lot, and that's and that's perfectly fine.
00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:17.139
I have no problem with that.
00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:19.620
I'm no problem with being attacked, like that doesn't bother me.
00:15:19.779 --> 00:15:29.540
But, you know, so to see so many the intersection now with with players being so content and so happy to share their faith, it's awesome.
00:15:29.700 --> 00:15:32.340
Like to be very specific on the field, it's awesome.
00:15:32.500 --> 00:15:33.860
To be bold, it is awesome.
00:15:34.019 --> 00:15:40.740
Like when you're in a sports culture, most of the time you have FCA, most of the time you have a team chaplain.
00:15:40.899 --> 00:15:49.620
Like you have so many areas of your life that you get to, you know, do with your buddies in a church setting, the team chaplains, right?
00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:51.060
Those guys are so awesome.
00:15:51.220 --> 00:15:59.300
So I think faith is a huge part of sport, developing closeness as a team and together and getting to know people and having bonds.
00:15:59.379 --> 00:16:01.460
Like, those are all things that are really, really big.
00:16:01.620 --> 00:16:03.060
But I'm encouraged, man.
00:16:03.139 --> 00:16:09.700
I'm really encouraged of watching how people have been so outward with their faith and unashamed.
00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:11.700
Like that's so awesome to see.
00:16:11.860 --> 00:16:14.580
Because here's the thing here, here's the bottom line.
00:16:14.820 --> 00:16:18.259
We don't live a rigid, restricted life.
00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:21.620
We live a liberating and free life in Jesus.
00:16:21.779 --> 00:16:24.019
Like, it's not a rough set of rules, man.
00:16:24.180 --> 00:16:25.540
It's flipping awesome.
00:16:25.700 --> 00:16:29.379
Like it is cool, it is fun, it's fun to do.
00:16:29.620 --> 00:16:35.379
And we got a God that's that that like meets us in our needs that when we mess up, he's not trying to squash us.
00:16:35.540 --> 00:16:37.700
He's trying to help us, he's trying to build us back up.
00:16:37.860 --> 00:16:45.860
And so I think anytime we get to share that in um sports just brings out a lot of opportunities to get a microphone in front of you when people want to listen.
00:16:46.180 --> 00:16:48.340
He referenced team and camaraderie.
00:16:48.420 --> 00:16:53.060
And there's something about sports uh Bill Curry at Kentucky referred to as the Fellowship of the Miserable.
00:16:53.220 --> 00:16:57.540
There's something about going through adversity uh that really draws people together, right?
00:16:57.620 --> 00:17:04.180
And I think that works, particularly maybe in football more than any of the other, you know, more popular sports that are out there.
00:17:04.339 --> 00:17:08.019
But for group leaders, but also church staff and ministry leaders, David.
00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:13.299
How would you counsel these leaders in prioritizing group members and family appropriately?
00:17:13.460 --> 00:17:14.339
You know what I'm saying?
00:17:14.500 --> 00:17:16.899
So it's built in in the context of team.
00:17:17.059 --> 00:17:18.500
I mean, it's it's ready-made.
00:17:18.660 --> 00:17:21.940
Sometimes we've got to go find it and create it.
00:17:22.099 --> 00:17:25.299
How would you counsel like ministry leaders to create?
00:17:25.779 --> 00:17:30.740
I'm not asking people to be miserable, of course, but it's that it's that bond that you just described.
00:17:30.819 --> 00:17:31.059
Yeah.
00:17:31.299 --> 00:17:38.339
Well, it's creating, it's creating opportunity for vulnerables, for vulnerabilities and vulnerableness.
00:17:38.420 --> 00:17:41.140
Like it's creating opportunities for honesty.
00:17:41.299 --> 00:17:46.100
Like, and that's why I talked about earlier in the group, like that's why I like to share my failures.
00:17:46.339 --> 00:17:49.460
Like understanding, like this is a safe space.
00:17:49.940 --> 00:17:51.779
This this is a place of accountability.
00:17:51.940 --> 00:17:57.620
This, this is a place where like we understand we're not perfect and we don't expect you to be, right?
00:17:57.700 --> 00:17:59.700
Like we're not expecting that from you.
00:17:59.860 --> 00:18:10.339
So I think when you can create an atmosphere like that, man, an atmosphere of encouragement, you know, not condemnation, an act, an atmosphere of acceptance, not rejectance, right?
00:18:10.500 --> 00:18:12.980
Like I think those are great things.
00:18:13.140 --> 00:18:14.420
Teams naturally do that.
00:18:14.579 --> 00:18:19.299
But as a leader, you've got to figure out ways to ask questions and to get into people's lives.
00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:20.500
So they'll share.
00:18:20.579 --> 00:18:21.620
So you'll get to know them.
00:18:21.779 --> 00:18:24.900
Otherwise, they're gonna tell you what you want to hear with a blank stare.
00:18:24.980 --> 00:18:30.980
And you're not really getting into the meat or the crux of some of the things, the root of the problems that need to be solved, right?
00:18:31.140 --> 00:18:43.539
So those are those are important things, man, when you're building these relationships and you know, how do you find ways to ask questions, to delicately pry into people's lives, to get them to talk, to get them to feel comfortable?
00:18:43.700 --> 00:18:45.059
How do you create that environment?
00:18:45.220 --> 00:18:46.819
Is it going into movies?
00:18:46.980 --> 00:18:51.860
Is it like, you know, or to arcades or bowling or, you know, you know, how do you do that?
00:18:52.019 --> 00:18:55.940
It's not in a setting that's rigid and rugged and like, oh, like this is weird.
00:18:56.019 --> 00:18:56.980
Everybody's looking at me.
00:18:57.059 --> 00:18:58.500
Like, how can you alleviate some of that?
00:18:58.579 --> 00:19:02.259
Maybe get one-on-one, you know, get two on two, like stuff like that.
00:19:02.579 --> 00:19:05.059
And this idea of finding ways, there's no shortcut.
00:19:05.460 --> 00:19:09.779
Life doesn't call time out and say, all right, I'm gonna give you this, these times.
00:19:10.019 --> 00:19:12.259
You've got to go claim that time to find those ways.
00:19:12.339 --> 00:19:14.740
You've got to build out that intentional relational time.
00:19:14.900 --> 00:19:21.779
And it seems like for group leadership, group leaders, administry leaders, that's even more important than in other walks of life.
00:19:21.860 --> 00:19:26.100
But I wonder, honestly, how how you know how how often it happens.
00:19:26.259 --> 00:19:32.500
I think sometimes we rally around that group meeting Wednesday night, Thursday night, Saturday, you know, Tuesday morning.
00:19:32.819 --> 00:19:34.819
And kind of glad I got through that.
00:19:34.900 --> 00:19:35.700
That was good, wasn't it?
00:19:35.779 --> 00:19:41.059
When that's or you cram for it, yeah, you know, like that's like I'm reading my thing, I need to read for it.
00:19:41.140 --> 00:19:45.700
But yeah, and then you stop, you lose some of the the point of this is to live it every day, right?
00:19:45.779 --> 00:19:54.339
Like the point of this is to be, you know, obviously and creating those rhythms, creating those habits, those are things that are you driven.
00:19:54.500 --> 00:19:59.380
Like you decide, like, but but your your alignment, your your alignment and which way you're going.
00:19:59.539 --> 00:20:03.220
Like those, those are things that every day that you have a chance to line up and do that.
00:20:03.299 --> 00:20:07.700
And that's where the rhythms you create and the habits you create, the friendships you create.
00:20:07.779 --> 00:20:08.900
Like I have a lot of buddies, man.
00:20:08.980 --> 00:20:12.900
We're going through different books, you know, like, hey, let's go through James in the Bible.
00:20:13.059 --> 00:20:14.500
Hey, let's go through John in the Bible.
00:20:14.579 --> 00:20:18.579
Hey, let's read this book together and just, you know, send things, send thoughts back and forth.
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:23.779
Let's read a chapter a day, you know, like create those, create those things in those accountability partners.
00:20:23.860 --> 00:20:25.700
Because listen, Jesus could have done it alone.
00:20:25.779 --> 00:20:26.259
He didn't.
00:20:26.339 --> 00:20:28.420
So if you don't think you need people, you're wrong.
00:20:28.579 --> 00:20:32.339
Like you're going to need people to help you stay on the straight.
00:20:32.900 --> 00:20:34.980
But here's the thing: you need the right people.
00:20:36.019 --> 00:20:40.420
Don't hang out with people that have a bad marriage and expect to have a and expect them to care about your marriage.
00:20:40.500 --> 00:20:43.140
If they don't care about their marriage, they don't care about your marriage, right?
00:20:43.299 --> 00:20:56.339
Like making sure we're spending the time with the right people that are pouring into us, and then obviously people that we're pouring into, but you know, what you're listening to, praise and worship versus uh podcast versus other things.
00:20:56.420 --> 00:21:02.339
How do you how do you create those rhythms and things that really bless you, that help you be the best version of you?
00:21:02.579 --> 00:21:06.579
This the the that term you driven, I think is really good, by the way.
00:21:06.740 --> 00:21:17.940
But this is this is where that text, that texting yourself idea, because you can at night you can you can do a self-assessment and then text yourself goals for tomorrow, and then you can time it.
00:21:18.019 --> 00:21:25.539
Most, I guess all phones, but I I know most iPhones now, you can set that text to to send at whatever time you want.
00:21:25.700 --> 00:21:26.660
It can almost be an alarm.
00:21:26.900 --> 00:21:30.339
So the first delay you look at is is what you is what you want.
00:21:30.579 --> 00:21:30.900
All right.
00:21:30.980 --> 00:21:38.740
So this whole this whole idea of intentional relationship and the challenges, particularly with the culture we live in, that's something to overcome.
00:21:38.900 --> 00:21:40.100
That's not an excuse.
00:21:40.259 --> 00:21:43.299
But I think this is particularly true of men, in my opinion.
00:21:43.460 --> 00:21:48.500
There's a lot that could be said and a lot that is being said about the state of men.
00:21:48.740 --> 00:21:53.940
So give us a snapshot of men's discipleship in today's world as you see it.
00:21:54.100 --> 00:22:09.380
Um, in particular, like what are we as ministry leaders and our listeners, what could we be missing and the needs that you think should be addressed sooner than later, like in in the crisis, in the crisis moment that we might live in.
00:22:09.620 --> 00:22:10.900
Well, we need men.
00:22:11.059 --> 00:22:16.579
Um, you know, I think Joby Martin's good book, his new book is really good, Stand Firm and Act Like Men.
00:22:16.900 --> 00:22:24.819
And um talks really good in the beginning, it talks about like having the the like God put a will for us in him for him, like to know him.
00:22:25.140 --> 00:22:28.100
Uh God wanted us to work and God gave us a woman, right?
00:22:28.180 --> 00:22:31.380
So, like a bunch of different things that kind of you know start to align up.
00:22:31.460 --> 00:22:34.980
But like if we're going to be men and we're going to lead.
00:22:35.620 --> 00:22:36.980
Which is what we've been asked to do.
00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:38.420
It's what we've been called to do.
00:22:38.579 --> 00:22:51.539
If we're gonna lead, that requires effort, that requires intention, that requires motivation, that requires sacrifice, that requires giving up things that you want to do.
00:22:51.779 --> 00:22:55.299
It might be guide time, it might be other stuff that you really, really like to do.
00:22:55.460 --> 00:22:57.620
Video games, it's stuff you like to do.
00:22:58.019 --> 00:23:00.740
You have a job, you have a responsibility.
00:23:00.980 --> 00:23:05.220
And so if you are married, your responsibility obviously changes.
00:23:05.380 --> 00:23:07.779
When you have kids, your responsibility changes.
00:23:07.860 --> 00:23:14.339
But your responsibility is to God, your responsibility then is to your spouse, and then your responsibility is to your kids.
00:23:14.500 --> 00:23:16.180
Like it's in that order.
00:23:16.259 --> 00:23:20.500
Like it can't be kids second, like which seems to happen a lot.
00:23:20.660 --> 00:23:23.779
So I think, you know, men have to understand, like, we're the leader.
00:23:23.860 --> 00:23:24.420
We've been called.
00:23:24.579 --> 00:23:27.140
Men's words weigh more whether you like it or not.
00:23:27.460 --> 00:23:30.019
Like mama's words are important and they're awesome.
00:23:30.180 --> 00:23:33.299
They might weigh 500 pounds, but dad's words weigh a thousand.
00:23:33.460 --> 00:23:34.900
We were given a deep voice.
00:23:35.140 --> 00:23:40.740
We were given uh big size most of the time, bigger size and intimidation for a reason, right?
00:23:40.819 --> 00:23:44.019
Like that, that's part of our DNA and part of our makeup.
00:23:44.180 --> 00:23:53.779
And so I think accepting responsibility for your family, accepting responsibility for your bride and how you're leading them, that's what a man does.
00:23:54.019 --> 00:23:55.860
A man does that consistently.
00:23:55.940 --> 00:23:59.940
And a man accepts when they fail because we're gonna fail as well, and we're gonna fail them.
00:24:00.019 --> 00:24:02.100
And I think it's important to show them that we're gonna fail.
00:24:02.180 --> 00:24:03.380
And how do we handle that?
00:24:03.539 --> 00:24:05.299
Like my son, it's really cool.
00:24:05.380 --> 00:24:06.500
My son's 17, man.
00:24:06.579 --> 00:24:08.900
I'm really enjoying like walking through life with him.
00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:11.460
And, you know, situations are coming up all the time.
00:24:11.620 --> 00:24:18.740
And like his girlfriend the other day, he was talking about his girlfriend, and they were down downtown Nashville with their with their with their mom and dad.
00:24:18.819 --> 00:24:21.779
And you know, there's some kind of altercation and her hair gets grabbed.
00:24:21.860 --> 00:24:24.579
And she was like, he was like, What would you do if you were there?
00:24:24.819 --> 00:24:28.500
And I was like, Well, my job as a man, buddy, is to protect you.
00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:29.779
Like, that's my job.
00:24:29.940 --> 00:24:31.940
My job is to protect my family.
00:24:32.100 --> 00:24:34.420
And I was like, So he's like, Would you start to fight?
00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:35.700
And I was like, No, no, no, no, no.
00:24:35.779 --> 00:24:38.420
I didn't say fight, I said to protect my family.
00:24:38.500 --> 00:24:41.539
My my job is not to pour gasoline on an altercation.
00:24:41.620 --> 00:24:43.299
My job is to pour cold water.
00:24:43.460 --> 00:24:49.059
Like, my job is to keep you safe no matter what, like and get you out of situations that are really, really tough.
00:24:49.220 --> 00:24:53.779
But like men are going to listen, here's what I've learned about women.
00:24:53.940 --> 00:24:56.819
If men don't step up and lead, women will.
00:24:57.860 --> 00:24:58.500
Women will.
00:24:58.660 --> 00:25:00.980
Women will step up and get grown people's stuff done.
00:25:01.059 --> 00:25:02.740
They will absolutely get it done.
00:25:02.819 --> 00:25:04.660
But men, you have been called to lead.
00:25:04.819 --> 00:25:06.900
You have been called to be the head of your household.
00:25:07.140 --> 00:25:10.180
So, you know, that's a challenge that you shouldn't take lightly.
00:25:10.259 --> 00:25:23.380
That that, you know, despite what's going on in your world and what responsibilities you have, just prioritize the ones that are that are the most important that we just talked about, not providing, you know, a job is not number one.
00:25:23.539 --> 00:25:25.299
It shouldn't be number one.
00:25:26.180 --> 00:25:28.819
So, David, let's let's talk about that 17-year-old.
00:25:28.900 --> 00:25:35.700
Like, I think we all understand responsibility for the married man, you know, it has children and a wife and career and job.
00:25:35.940 --> 00:25:38.819
So, what about that 17-year-old or 15-year-old?
00:25:38.900 --> 00:25:46.259
You know, those that might be in student ministry that are listening, those that have parents of teens, uh sons, uh, what about those guys?
00:25:46.420 --> 00:25:48.660
What counsel do you have in that regard?
00:25:49.380 --> 00:25:50.180
Pray.
00:25:50.420 --> 00:25:53.620
Um, I mean, it parenting is the hardest thing you'll ever do.
00:25:53.860 --> 00:25:54.180
I think.
00:25:54.339 --> 00:25:58.100
I think it's the hardest job that it's the most rewarding and it's the best.
00:25:58.180 --> 00:26:00.980
I'm raising adults, I'm not raising children, right?
00:26:01.059 --> 00:26:03.700
Like, I'm not trying to be my kids' best friends.
00:26:03.779 --> 00:26:06.339
I and I don't necessarily even care if they like me all the time.
00:26:06.420 --> 00:26:07.380
That's not like the job.
00:26:07.539 --> 00:26:12.660
My job, so my job is to make sure that they understand the things that are important and we're living that out.
00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:14.740
It's not to tell them, it's to show them.
00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:16.819
I see better than I hear, right?
00:26:16.900 --> 00:26:19.299
Like more is caught than taught any day of the week.
00:26:19.460 --> 00:26:29.059
And, you know, for example, if I'm a parent, sports is really an awesome thing, but it's taking a place in our society where it owns your weekends, it owns your Sundays.
00:26:29.220 --> 00:26:29.860
No, no, no.
00:26:29.940 --> 00:26:31.779
That's not that's not gonna happen in my house.
00:26:31.940 --> 00:26:33.460
Like, we're going to church.
00:26:33.620 --> 00:26:34.579
That's what we do.
00:26:34.740 --> 00:26:36.100
That's my job as a parent.
00:26:36.180 --> 00:26:39.779
Like, I'm supposed to show you what the most important thing is, not tell you.
00:26:39.860 --> 00:26:40.660
I said show you.
00:26:40.819 --> 00:26:46.500
When you tell them church is important and then go to basketball, you're you're showing them basketball is more important than God.
00:26:47.140 --> 00:26:49.220
Like that's it's exactly what we're showing them, right?
00:26:49.299 --> 00:26:54.100
Like, we need to show them the importance that sport is important, but it takes a backseat to church.
00:26:54.259 --> 00:26:55.860
And and this is the most important thing.
00:26:55.940 --> 00:27:02.100
So, parenting is about like it's it's it's not easy, like I said, um, and different ages, different stages.
00:27:02.259 --> 00:27:04.740
And and and I'd be lying if I said every kid was the same.
00:27:04.900 --> 00:27:05.860
Every kid's not the same.
00:27:05.940 --> 00:27:09.460
Like I got two that one's from Venus, one's from Mars, right?
00:27:09.539 --> 00:27:15.620
Like it's totally different, you know, getting to know their personalities and who they are and what they are and what they need, man.
00:27:15.779 --> 00:27:24.980
But I think the most important thing you can do as a parent is love your spouse in a great way because that's that's a great model for them to show what it's going to look like in the future.
00:27:25.140 --> 00:27:26.420
Um, it's a huge model.
00:27:26.579 --> 00:27:28.420
Obviously, loving God is important.
00:27:28.500 --> 00:27:30.100
It's the most important thing, number one.
00:27:30.180 --> 00:27:32.500
But um, they're watching how you carry yourself.
00:27:32.660 --> 00:27:33.860
But it's tough.
00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:38.900
It requires consistency, it requires being different, it requires having conversations.
00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:41.700
Like, I know your friend's parents let you do this.
00:27:41.940 --> 00:27:43.380
That's not our rules.
00:27:43.620 --> 00:27:45.220
And that's that's not fun.
00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:46.980
Like my son with his girlfriend, man.
00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:48.740
Like we have the one-third rule.
00:27:48.900 --> 00:27:54.259
Like, one third of the weekend is for family, one third can be for friends, one third can be for your girlfriend.
00:27:54.420 --> 00:27:56.339
We're not seeing a girlfriend every day of the weekend.
00:27:56.500 --> 00:27:57.620
It's not the way it works, bud.
00:27:57.779 --> 00:27:58.900
That's not what we're doing.
00:27:59.220 --> 00:28:03.700
And, you know, he doesn't like that, and he doesn't understand it, like curfews, stuff like that.
00:28:03.779 --> 00:28:06.259
But like we we want to be different.
00:28:06.339 --> 00:28:12.259
We we want to create healthy boundaries, we want to have conversations about different things that are that are really, really important.
00:28:12.420 --> 00:28:20.259
So parenting is it's not a one size fits all, it's hard, but it just requires consistency and just like everything else we've been talking about, intentionality.
00:28:20.579 --> 00:28:32.660
What David is saying there, um there's a lot of wise counsel there, but really when you get right down to it, it can't be overstated the importance of prior priorities, uh, the appropriate prior prioritization.
00:28:32.900 --> 00:28:38.420
And I think we can, yeah, we could all get that, we all get that answer right on the test.
00:28:38.660 --> 00:28:40.819
That's not really the ultimate filter.
00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:47.779
How you're living your life and what your behavior would indicate are your priorities, and your decisions would indicate about your priorities.
00:28:47.940 --> 00:28:51.059
That's that's that's what that's where we're scored.
00:28:51.220 --> 00:28:52.819
So all of that is really good.
00:28:52.980 --> 00:28:56.100
Um, it's a good segue into a question about adversity, David.
00:28:56.180 --> 00:29:02.900
So you've had your portion of adversity, uh, different and more public, but not unlike a lot of people experiencing adversity.
00:29:03.140 --> 00:29:08.660
So I would just ask you, what lessons have you learned about navigating these seasons that are sure to come?
00:29:08.819 --> 00:29:11.460
And what lessons have you learned from those around you?
00:29:11.539 --> 00:29:13.539
Like who has had the most impact?
00:29:13.940 --> 00:29:16.980
Man, adversity is the best teacher, isn't it?
00:29:17.059 --> 00:29:19.620
Like it's just it's so awesome.
00:29:19.700 --> 00:29:20.420
It's so needy.
00:29:20.740 --> 00:29:22.259
If you let it, um, if you let it.
00:29:22.740 --> 00:29:24.339
No, it's gonna be whether you like it or not.
00:29:24.500 --> 00:29:26.500
I mean, whether you like it or not, you're gonna, you know why?
00:29:26.579 --> 00:29:27.779
Because you're gonna keep getting it.
00:29:27.940 --> 00:29:28.980
You're just gonna keep getting it.
00:29:29.059 --> 00:29:38.900
It's gonna be self-inflicted, whether you want to keep, whether you want to make some changes and take things for what it needs to be taken for, or else you're gonna continue to inflict it on yourself, I think more than you probably need to.
00:29:39.059 --> 00:29:43.539
But like there are some things in life God's gonna take us around and allow and protect us from.
00:29:43.700 --> 00:29:47.220
But there are a certain number of things, man, God's gotta take us right through it.
00:29:47.380 --> 00:29:54.420
And and I can tell you this from our adversities, man, like the Bible says, be still and know that I am God.
00:29:54.660 --> 00:29:57.539
I never do that more than when I'm hurting.
00:29:57.779 --> 00:30:00.019
Then something hurts deep in here.
00:30:00.259 --> 00:30:03.220
And I I go through my days just like a lot of y'all, man.
00:30:03.299 --> 00:30:06.500
And like the more good things happen, the more we continue.
00:30:06.819 --> 00:30:08.420
It's all good, it's all good, it's all good.
00:30:08.500 --> 00:30:10.100
I'm in control, I'm in control, I'm in control.
00:30:10.420 --> 00:30:11.940
Something goes bad, it's like, oh, wait a minute.
00:30:12.019 --> 00:30:12.420
Yep, right.
00:30:12.500 --> 00:30:14.019
That's I'm not in control, right?
00:30:14.100 --> 00:30:20.259
Like it's so it's those good reminders that you know, that we aren't in control, that things are difficult.
00:30:20.420 --> 00:30:21.299
It's a good reminder.
00:30:21.460 --> 00:30:23.860
We don't deserve to be happy.
00:30:24.019 --> 00:30:27.860
We don't deserve to have great things that we want all the time.
00:30:28.019 --> 00:30:29.940
Like it's not what we deserve, right?
00:30:30.100 --> 00:30:35.140
So I think, you know, adversity shows us that it makes us appreciate those other moments more.
00:30:35.299 --> 00:30:43.940
The good thing about adversity, too, I love is um it develops empathy and sympathy in your life for people that you would have never had, right?
00:30:44.019 --> 00:30:48.420
Like when you go through that hard moment, man, you know what someone else is going through.
00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:54.019
And it gives you uh it gives you such credence to speak into that in somebody else's life.
00:30:54.180 --> 00:30:55.380
Like, I've been through that.
00:30:55.539 --> 00:30:57.539
I understand exactly what you're going through, man.
00:30:57.700 --> 00:31:01.620
Went through it with my wife five years ago, went through it with my kid five years ago, right?
00:31:01.700 --> 00:31:04.019
Like, I know exactly what you're going through.
00:31:04.259 --> 00:31:07.299
God used that as a season in our life to get us through it to get here.
00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:15.140
But I I think the most important thing to understand about adversity, though, is God says he wants to prosper us and make us successful.
00:31:15.380 --> 00:31:17.779
God says he is for us, not against us.
00:31:17.940 --> 00:31:21.860
God says he wants good things for us in every situation.
00:31:22.100 --> 00:31:24.180
So there is nothing wasted.
00:31:24.740 --> 00:31:26.980
Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's wasted.
00:31:27.140 --> 00:31:29.460
Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not purposeful.
00:31:29.539 --> 00:31:33.059
And so how do we how do we take lessons, not losses, right?
00:31:33.220 --> 00:31:34.579
How do we fail forward?
00:31:34.660 --> 00:31:35.539
How do we continue?
00:31:35.620 --> 00:31:39.940
If you fail a class in school, you have to take it again, right?
00:31:40.100 --> 00:31:45.860
Like if we want to continue to do the same thing over and over again, we'll we'll continue to have a lot of bad results, right?
00:31:45.940 --> 00:31:49.299
Like, unless we make some changes and we like, all right, I see it.
00:31:49.380 --> 00:31:50.900
Like, I need to take accountability.
00:31:51.059 --> 00:31:56.259
Like this is something that I keep tripping up with that that keeps causing me to stumble, that I've got to address.
00:31:56.339 --> 00:31:59.220
And so adversely is just one of the best teachers, man.
00:31:59.539 --> 00:32:15.779
Yeah, and some of the conversations I've had with my daughters who are now 31 and 28, but when they were growing up, uh, particularly through the undergraduate years at the University of Tennessee, I remember telling Skylar, the youngest, sometimes, Skylar, we just have to uh let the hard things be hard.
00:32:15.940 --> 00:32:18.500
Uh, you don't, like what you said, you don't end around it.
00:32:18.579 --> 00:32:20.100
Uh, you're being called into this.
00:32:20.180 --> 00:32:22.579
And yeah, it's hard to just name it.
00:32:22.819 --> 00:32:31.460
I had a mentor tell me one time that we tend to embrace the shame to your point, embrace the shame and reject the pain.
00:32:31.620 --> 00:32:35.700
But if Jesus is our model, we reject the shame and embrace the pain.
00:32:35.860 --> 00:32:42.339
And that's exactly what you're saying is accept that call into that adversity so that it can be the teacher.
00:32:42.500 --> 00:32:52.339
Because I do think that we we will short circuit what God wants to do in our is endeavoring to do in our lives by calling us into that adversity through various means these days.
00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:53.940
But David makes a real good point.
00:32:54.180 --> 00:32:58.420
You may think you're getting around it, but all you're doing is compounding that problem.
00:32:58.819 --> 00:33:00.740
So that's really good word there.
00:33:00.900 --> 00:33:02.740
I would ask you, I referenced it earlier.
00:33:02.900 --> 00:33:08.259
So the book, Every Day Counts, start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can.
00:33:08.500 --> 00:33:10.819
So, David, what's the inspiration behind this book?
00:33:10.900 --> 00:33:12.579
Just talk to us a little bit about that.
00:33:12.819 --> 00:33:16.740
I think one of the things, first of all, I had no desire to share the good things in my life.
00:33:16.819 --> 00:33:21.700
It was all about sharing the adversities and the struggles and some of the things that were really hard.
00:33:21.860 --> 00:33:37.380
But just to show you that God shows up and God shows out and uses your worst, quote unquote, worst moments, and it still glorifies him and it still makes you better, and it still reveals things to you, man, that are just that are so awesome that you're appreciative for later.
00:33:37.539 --> 00:33:40.100
And um, every day counts as a motto.
00:33:40.259 --> 00:33:43.940
Every day counts, like I equate it to driving in the car, man.
00:33:44.019 --> 00:33:51.140
When you're in the car, like when we if you look too much out the windshield and you're always forward thinking, we're not in the moment.
00:33:51.299 --> 00:33:52.660
We're not living today, right?
00:33:52.740 --> 00:33:59.140
And then when we look, sometimes some of us look in that rear view mirror and it's shame and it's guilt and it's faults and it's things we wish we would have done.
00:33:59.299 --> 00:34:00.900
Like, we want to live in the car, man.
00:34:01.059 --> 00:34:02.180
We want to live in the moment.
00:34:02.259 --> 00:34:06.980
We want to be great where we're at and really excel and and and bloom where we're planted, right?
00:34:07.059 --> 00:34:08.179
And thrive where we're at.
00:34:08.339 --> 00:34:10.259
So I think it's just a mindset of that.
00:34:10.339 --> 00:34:13.539
A lot of people preaching on Sunday sermons, and I'm like, this is so amazing.
00:34:13.699 --> 00:34:16.339
But if I don't have takeaways, man, it's really hard for me to follow.
00:34:16.500 --> 00:34:18.579
And it's really hard for me to take those next steps.
00:34:18.739 --> 00:34:22.739
So kind of formulating an identity of everyday counts and how to do it.
00:34:22.980 --> 00:34:25.380
And um, I didn't know I had done this throughout my life.
00:34:25.460 --> 00:34:28.179
I kind of started to realize it later on, like, oh, wait a minute.
00:34:28.259 --> 00:34:31.380
Like when I got to college, I kind of that's kind of what I did, right?
00:34:31.619 --> 00:34:34.019
My position groups, and this is how I actually did it.
00:34:34.179 --> 00:34:45.059
And so, you know, I think if we can adapt a mindset of fighting for today and being great today and enjoying today, um, tomorrow usually takes care of itself.
00:34:45.699 --> 00:34:50.899
So tell us a little bit about the 50, 40, 10 rule without giving away everything.
00:34:51.139 --> 00:34:53.459
Yeah, I mean, it it's it's it's fine.
00:34:53.539 --> 00:34:58.019
It's it's 50% of people you can show up in this life and whatever you do, and you can outwork them.
00:34:58.179 --> 00:34:58.980
50%, man.
00:34:59.059 --> 00:35:00.739
Show up with a good attitude, you can outwork them.
00:35:00.899 --> 00:35:02.419
40% you can outdetail.
00:35:02.579 --> 00:35:18.739
And when I say out detail, out detail, out-organize, out-strategize, you know, as a football player, like it was, it was getting the cold tub, it was getting the hot tub, the cryotherapy, uh, eat good foods, get good sleep, like maximize my body so my body will perform for me.
00:35:18.819 --> 00:35:22.899
Watch tape so I can study and be ahead of the play when it before it's even happened, right?
00:35:22.980 --> 00:35:25.379
So, like it's out-prepare, it's out detail.
00:35:25.779 --> 00:35:26.819
Like life strategy.
00:35:26.980 --> 00:35:27.299
Yeah.
00:35:27.459 --> 00:35:28.339
Yes, 100%.
00:35:28.659 --> 00:35:32.659
Like, you know, it's it's again, it's one thing to show up with a good attitude, work really hard.
00:35:32.739 --> 00:35:33.859
That's 50%, right?
00:35:34.019 --> 00:35:36.179
Uh, 40% out detail, out strategy.
00:35:36.259 --> 00:35:39.699
And then the last 10%, man, who can take the shots and keep moving forward?
00:35:40.099 --> 00:35:46.179
Like, who can accept I'm going to fail, I'm gonna mess up, but I'm not gonna let it deter me.
00:35:46.339 --> 00:35:48.739
Like, I'm going to keep moving forward.
00:35:48.899 --> 00:35:51.859
And if I get a no in business, I'm waiting for the yes.
00:35:52.019 --> 00:35:53.619
I'm gonna go get me a yes, right?
00:35:53.699 --> 00:36:07.379
Like that's the, and that's my corporate, you know, business, you know, high achiever, competitive person way of modeling something I think where you can really understand it and and and compartmentalize what it takes to go be great.
00:36:07.699 --> 00:36:10.579
There's a leadership lesson there too, in the 50-40-10.
00:36:10.659 --> 00:36:12.179
So it's not just a life application.
00:36:12.259 --> 00:36:17.299
I don't mean just dismissively, but as a group leader, as a ministry leader, guess what?
00:36:17.459 --> 00:36:19.219
You're gonna take some shots.
00:36:19.379 --> 00:36:23.459
Um, I mean, it sometimes is a literal shot, sometimes it's just a bad day.
00:36:23.619 --> 00:36:26.899
A bad ministry day can have a profound impact.
00:36:27.059 --> 00:36:30.339
I would dare say that the same is true of any any job.
00:36:30.500 --> 00:36:35.779
But the ministry, the to be a ministry leader and a group leader is just such a personal endeavor, David.
00:36:35.939 --> 00:36:43.219
So, you know, that 10% just knowing, and I really like the idea of look just looking at yesterday, the the reflect part.
00:36:43.459 --> 00:36:48.099
So reflect, uh, repent, and repurpose in that same context.
00:36:48.179 --> 00:36:50.500
So you're like, yep, today wasn't great.
00:36:50.739 --> 00:36:52.819
Wasn't great for these for these reasons.
00:36:53.059 --> 00:36:53.859
Why wasn't it great?
00:36:53.939 --> 00:36:54.259
Yes.
00:36:54.419 --> 00:36:54.659
Why?
00:36:54.819 --> 00:36:56.339
So it's not just repeat, right?
00:36:56.419 --> 00:37:00.259
Like if we just say today sucked and we don't know why, like we need to know why.
00:37:00.339 --> 00:37:05.219
We need to know where we missed the mark, and so how we can try to you know implement strategies where we don't do it again.
00:37:05.459 --> 00:37:06.980
And that's that quiet you talked about.
00:37:07.059 --> 00:37:16.819
You know, only in that quiet can you really receive that kind of what correction, counsel, uh, insight, you know, whatever it is that the spirit's revealing to you.
00:37:16.899 --> 00:37:18.179
So it's all of those things.
00:37:18.419 --> 00:37:19.939
So uh one last question.
00:37:20.099 --> 00:37:28.579
So, David, as you this is because you get you're out and about, you're around a lot of people, you're in churches, uh, you're in group life.
00:37:28.819 --> 00:37:36.339
Um as you survey our current cultural moment, this this cultural moment, uh, where do you see God moving?
00:37:36.500 --> 00:37:38.179
I mean, I see God moving everywhere.
00:37:38.339 --> 00:37:55.699
I mean, God's I I I am definitely one of those people that I I feel like I see more of his movement more and more than than I did before, and more people um, you know, willing to share, more people willing to, you know, I I love the fact that social media, like everybody has a microphone, right?
00:37:55.939 --> 00:38:01.779
Everybody's got a camera, you know, so you have an opportunity to share what's important to you, what's not important to you.
00:38:01.939 --> 00:38:03.299
You get to learn and educate.
00:38:03.379 --> 00:38:06.179
And so I see God moving all over the place, man.
00:38:06.339 --> 00:38:08.019
I see him moving in young people.
00:38:08.099 --> 00:38:10.739
I I think in young people you're seeing more faith.
00:38:10.980 --> 00:38:21.619
Athletes are seeing more faith, like more boldness in young people, more you know, willingness to to be baptized, more willingness to you see the praise and worship, you see it all over the place.
00:38:21.699 --> 00:38:23.859
But God's God's on the move for sure.
00:38:24.019 --> 00:38:25.939
And I just I like being a part of it.
00:38:26.099 --> 00:38:28.659
And listen, we're we're commanded to be a part of this, guys.
00:38:28.819 --> 00:38:32.179
Like, God didn't say, when you get time, please share me.
00:38:32.819 --> 00:38:36.339
Like He commanded us to share His word, to share.
00:38:36.419 --> 00:38:42.099
I I had somebody to challenge me with this a couple years ago, and you talk about getting slapped upside your grill right in the face.
00:38:42.419 --> 00:38:55.139
Somebody, somebody asked me, if everyone you prayed for this last week, if every if every prayer you prayed this last week, um, how many people would be entered the kingdom of heaven?
00:38:55.379 --> 00:38:58.980
And it was really sad because this was like two or three years ago, and my answer was zero.
00:38:59.219 --> 00:39:07.539
Like, I wasn't even currently praying for someone to accept the best gift that they've ever been given in their life that would change their life, would change their eternity.
00:39:07.699 --> 00:39:13.779
And so, like being very cognizant of that and uh thinking about that and seeking those opportunities.
00:39:13.859 --> 00:39:16.980
I I like, I like that we're having more boldness.
00:39:17.219 --> 00:39:21.379
I like that we have access to people at a at a higher rate with social media.
00:39:21.459 --> 00:39:23.939
I like my challenge is how do we use it for good?
00:39:24.179 --> 00:39:25.459
Because God can use it for good.
00:39:25.619 --> 00:39:31.059
God can use all things for good, even social media, which I don't necessarily care for that much.
00:39:31.219 --> 00:39:32.739
It can be used for good.
00:39:33.619 --> 00:39:35.299
So again, that that's an opportunity.
00:39:35.379 --> 00:39:42.980
Sometimes when we have those moments, we can just fold and say, man, I'm just uh I'm just not getting it done.
00:39:43.139 --> 00:39:49.859
And that's again where that reflect comes in, because that's not the goal of a convicting question, confronted question like that.
00:39:50.019 --> 00:39:55.539
And not only should we receive that well from those closest to us, we should be asking those things of ourselves.
00:39:55.699 --> 00:39:59.859
Um, and that that is beyond even being a ministry leader.
00:40:00.259 --> 00:40:01.059
No doubt.
00:40:01.219 --> 00:40:04.179
Well, that's gonna wrap it up for this episode of the Group Answers Show.
00:40:04.259 --> 00:40:05.859
Again, the book is Everyday Counts.
00:40:05.939 --> 00:40:14.659
And if you enjoyed this, you can find David Pollock about any time you want with a quick search on iTunes because David's the co-host of a couple of podcasts.
00:40:14.819 --> 00:40:20.739
One is family oriented, and one is just uh it's you and Pastor Jay just kind of talking about life, right?
00:40:20.980 --> 00:40:33.059
Yeah, it's family goals is uh me and Pastor Jay talking about helping families like make goals, create goals, you know, talk about uh attacking youth league sports and all the different things that are going on.
00:40:33.139 --> 00:40:34.739
And then the other one is seaball, get ball.
00:40:34.819 --> 00:40:35.539
You can see that behind me.
00:40:35.619 --> 00:40:36.500
That's just college football.
00:40:36.579 --> 00:40:38.179
If you like football, come on in.
00:40:38.259 --> 00:40:46.259
You're not gonna hear gambling, you're not gonna hear profanity, you're not gonna hear um any promotion of stuff that isn't uh what we believe in and what we align in.
00:40:46.419 --> 00:40:50.980
It's just college football, NFL football, a little bit, and just ball and fun.
00:40:51.699 --> 00:40:53.219
Well, thanks for being with us, David.
00:40:53.299 --> 00:40:55.619
You've got a lot going on, so appreciate your time.
00:40:55.859 --> 00:40:56.339
Absolutely.
00:40:56.419 --> 00:40:57.059
Thanks, brother.
00:40:57.299 --> 00:41:04.579
Also, shout out to producer Angie Elkins and engineer or executive producer Nikki Ogden, uh, without whom we could not do this.
00:41:04.739 --> 00:41:06.339
Thanks for hanging in there with us.
00:41:06.419 --> 00:41:10.339
It's gonna wrap it up for this episode, and we will see you on down the road.
00:41:13.059 --> 00:41:22.980
This episode of Group Answers Podcast was brought to you by our team, executive producer Angie Elkins, producer Nikki Ogden, edited by Donnie Gordon.
00:41:23.139 --> 00:41:29.539
All episodes are recorded at my personal studio in Evergreen, Colorado, with the help of Riverside FM.
00:41:29.779 --> 00:41:31.699
Artwork by Lauren Irving.
00:41:32.019 --> 00:41:33.939
And I'm your host, Brian Daniel.
00:41:34.019 --> 00:41:38.819
Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you next time on the Group Mansters Podcast.
00:00:40.100 --> 00:00:42.179
Welcome to the Group Answers Podcast.
00:00:42.259 --> 00:00:43.859
I'm your host, Brian Daniel.
00:00:44.019 --> 00:00:50.179
This is the weekly show designed specifically for pastors, disciple makers, group pastors, and small group leaders.
00:00:50.339 --> 00:00:55.299
Truly, we are created to help anyone with bottom line responsibilities for discipleship.
00:00:55.459 --> 00:01:00.340
Our goal is simple to resource, train, and encourage you in the vital work of discipleship.
00:01:00.500 --> 00:01:02.659
This is the Group Answers Podcast.
00:01:02.820 --> 00:01:03.939
Let's do it.
00:01:08.259 --> 00:01:10.340
Welcome back to the Group Answers Podcast.
00:01:10.420 --> 00:01:18.420
And as always, I'm Brian Daniel, and I am here with a special guest today as a pretty much lifelong Georgia football fan.
00:01:18.659 --> 00:01:25.140
And um, it started, you know, it was right around 1979, 1980 with the kid from Riceville, Georgia, and Horsel Walker really did the trick.
00:01:25.219 --> 00:01:26.979
He was all right, he was pretty good.
00:01:27.219 --> 00:01:28.340
He did okay.
00:01:28.500 --> 00:01:33.699
Uh man, I it was like someone stole Christmas when he left early, just by the way.
00:01:33.859 --> 00:01:41.219
Yeah so David Pollack, ladies and gentlemen, three-time All-American, College Football Hall of Famer, former broadcaster, husband of Lindsay.
00:01:41.299 --> 00:01:42.819
Welcome to the group answer show.
00:01:42.900 --> 00:01:45.780
David, it's really it's really cool to have you with us today.
00:01:46.019 --> 00:01:49.140
My favorite way you just described me was husband of Lindsay.
00:01:49.219 --> 00:01:50.340
That's my that's my favorite.
00:01:50.420 --> 00:01:51.219
So I like that.
00:01:51.459 --> 00:01:54.019
See, see, we go way back, don't we?
00:01:54.900 --> 00:01:55.459
All right.
00:01:55.700 --> 00:01:59.299
So you're on the road a lot, you've been given quite the testimony.
00:01:59.379 --> 00:02:03.459
Um, you know, part of your background, of course, football is a big part of that story.
00:02:03.620 --> 00:02:13.699
Um, you have dealt with just like any of us have, but you know, when you live a public life and discouragement is kind of out there for everybody to see, that's that's unique.
00:02:13.860 --> 00:02:16.740
And so I think you have a unique perspective on a lot of things.
00:02:17.060 --> 00:02:26.500
So, you know, not to draw too straight a line, David, but being a group leader can, and emphasize can be a bit of a lonely journey.
00:02:26.659 --> 00:02:38.740
Um, you know, to carry a bit, uh, you know, it's overstating it maybe to say burden, but there's certainly a weight when you're taking on that level of leadership and um, you know, just discipleship.
00:02:38.900 --> 00:02:46.659
I mean, if you do it right, you're accepting that mantle of being the spiritual leader and shepherd to some extent and advisor as a group leader.
00:02:46.819 --> 00:02:56.580
So I would ask you just here as we start, what have you learned about perseverance uh that might be helpful to ministry leaders and group leaders that are out there listening?
00:02:56.819 --> 00:03:03.939
Well, I think the the cool thing about being a group group leader is there's also a level of accountability that comes with it, right?
00:03:04.020 --> 00:03:06.419
Like you you are held to a standard.
00:03:06.500 --> 00:03:12.900
There's accountability with the people that you're leading, there's accountability for you to read, there's accountability for you to to shepherd, right?
00:03:12.979 --> 00:03:15.139
Like there's a lot of really good things that come with it.
00:03:15.219 --> 00:03:21.939
And I think too, when you're studying to teach, like I think you, I think you retain things better and you personalize things better.
00:03:22.020 --> 00:03:24.500
And I think when you have to teach them, it's harder, right?
00:03:24.580 --> 00:03:31.859
Like, so there's a lot of good things about it that these these leadership roles exist and they push you to become a better version of you, which I think is fantastic.
00:03:32.020 --> 00:03:34.580
So perseverance is a tool that God uses.
00:03:34.819 --> 00:03:38.819
And I think He or it's something that God develops in us.
00:03:38.900 --> 00:03:42.500
It's a it's something that He's continuing to develop in all of us that we all need.
00:03:42.659 --> 00:03:45.539
Like we all have to be able to persevere.
00:03:45.620 --> 00:03:54.020
And I think the hardest thing about um hard circumstances is do you can sit, can you consistently meet the standard?
00:03:54.180 --> 00:03:56.740
Can you consistently keep keeping on, right?
00:03:56.979 --> 00:03:57.699
To make it simple.
00:03:57.780 --> 00:04:01.460
But I think to have perseverance, it's like it's very simple to me.
00:04:01.539 --> 00:04:03.139
It's like standards over feelings.
00:04:03.219 --> 00:04:03.539
Okay.
00:04:03.699 --> 00:04:05.460
Like I have a standard.
00:04:05.620 --> 00:04:07.780
This is who I am, this is what I am.
00:04:08.020 --> 00:04:10.099
Feelings don't matter, right?
00:04:10.259 --> 00:04:11.699
Like feelings come and go.
00:04:11.859 --> 00:04:15.300
Like I think I feel like this, I don't feel like this, I don't feel like I can do this.
00:04:15.379 --> 00:04:16.340
It doesn't matter, right?
00:04:16.419 --> 00:04:19.699
Like this is who I am, this is where my heart's beating for.
00:04:20.100 --> 00:04:22.340
I'm not gonna accept less than this.
00:04:22.580 --> 00:04:28.340
And I think when you can when you have standards and you and you keep those standards, that's that's how you persevere, right?
00:04:28.419 --> 00:04:38.980
Like you continue to be in a good uh in a good place to make the right decisions, to make the right choices, because you know what you're accepting and what you're not gonna accept, and what you're not gonna accept in your life.
00:04:39.139 --> 00:04:48.899
So it's um it's in a it's a great ability to be able to lead, and leaders have to have perseverance and not get frustrated when they're leading someone that doesn't want to be led.
00:04:48.980 --> 00:04:52.340
Because we all have those in our lives too, where it's hard to push them, right?
00:04:52.419 --> 00:05:00.659
Like you feel like you're dragging them sometimes, and you need a fresh perspective, and you got to have that perseverance to continue to show up and do what God's commanded you to do.
00:05:00.820 --> 00:05:10.419
Yeah, the standards versus feelings, I I haven't heard it put that way before, but feelings like emotions are whimsical, just like you said, David, they come and go.
00:05:10.740 --> 00:05:20.820
But to have that standard and really uh, well, not really, but and uh in all reality, scripture lays out Paul talks about living a way worthy of your calling.
00:05:20.980 --> 00:05:23.059
And I think that's the standard that we're called to.
00:05:23.220 --> 00:05:37.059
That's really helpful and really good because as a group leader, I think sometimes we do let our the whimsy kind of get us, and we and we and we take and we take the bait and we go on that ride and we forget what our standards are and what that calling is.
00:05:37.299 --> 00:05:52.100
Regarding perseverance uh perseverance, let me ask you like what those moments when, in particular, when you're trying to pull someone along, like this idea or notion of leadership, what have you learned about is it just patience?
00:05:52.340 --> 00:05:54.259
Is it just staying on message?
00:05:54.500 --> 00:05:59.940
Do you is it a feel like a prayerful posture and feeling when you know when to up that intensity?
00:06:00.100 --> 00:06:01.539
Or do you not wait on intensity?
00:06:01.620 --> 00:06:05.940
I mean, I don't know you that well, but I know you well enough to know you probably don't wait on intensity.
00:06:06.100 --> 00:06:14.340
But what have you learned about like those when you're leading someone, what are those triggers um or those methods that you've learned?
00:06:14.580 --> 00:06:15.620
I think ways to relate.
00:06:15.779 --> 00:06:17.860
So, first of all, you got to be consistent.
00:06:18.100 --> 00:06:19.299
You've got to be consistent.
00:06:19.460 --> 00:06:20.820
That's that's the number one thing.
00:06:20.980 --> 00:06:25.940
And I think I think the number two thing to me is like you've got to share your failures.
00:06:26.179 --> 00:06:29.700
Like we have a small group every week in our basement, right over here.
00:06:29.860 --> 00:06:41.379
And and every week, man, I'm going to bring up a couple of things in a parenting in my wife, in my in my relationship with my wife, where I'm failing and where I need to I need to apply parts of the message.
00:06:41.539 --> 00:06:44.340
Like, I'm not perfect, I don't have this all figured out.
00:06:44.419 --> 00:06:45.460
I need you to understand that.
00:06:45.539 --> 00:06:47.139
Like, we're pursuing this together.
00:06:47.299 --> 00:06:50.259
I, you know, nobody wants to follow a know it all, right?
00:06:50.419 --> 00:06:52.899
Like you, you you have all the answers.
00:06:53.059 --> 00:06:54.259
That's fantastic.
00:06:54.419 --> 00:06:58.179
Like you can you can have all the answers, but you got to be able to live them out, right?
00:06:58.259 --> 00:06:59.860
Like, and that's the most important thing.
00:07:00.019 --> 00:07:08.980
So showing them that you're human, showing them that you have a need for God, like that you have a need to continue to to to um to chase, right?
00:07:09.059 --> 00:07:11.860
Like you need God, you need got God's help consistently.
00:07:11.940 --> 00:07:14.580
So I think I think those are really, really important things, man.
00:07:14.740 --> 00:07:19.220
Like it's um, it's not a same, it's not a one size fits all either, dog.
00:07:19.460 --> 00:07:21.460
Like, that's not the way life works.
00:07:21.620 --> 00:07:23.059
People aren't made the same.
00:07:23.220 --> 00:07:23.779
Thank goodness.
00:07:23.860 --> 00:07:26.100
How boring would this life be if we were all like me?
00:07:26.259 --> 00:07:32.259
Like, we'd be actually too many, too many ADD people, too many zoo, zoo, zoos all over the place, right?
00:07:32.340 --> 00:07:38.179
So I think it's awesome that we when you find like leadership requires getting to know someone.
00:07:38.419 --> 00:07:42.899
It requires consistently showing up, and it requires like what do they have?
00:07:43.059 --> 00:07:44.659
What what what makes them tick?
00:07:44.820 --> 00:07:47.299
What are the areas where I can push back, I can challenge?
00:07:47.460 --> 00:07:50.419
What are the areas where you know I need to pull back a little bit?
00:07:50.500 --> 00:07:54.340
And so everybody's going to be different, and we've got to figure that out as leaders.
00:07:54.580 --> 00:08:01.220
To be successful, what you just described is both being known, so that's trusted, but also to know.
00:08:01.379 --> 00:08:05.539
And so you have to take be intentional about getting to know people so you know where those buttons are.
00:08:05.700 --> 00:08:08.820
I'm sure you would agree, particularly being, you know, growing up in football.
00:08:09.059 --> 00:08:09.860
Ask questions.
00:08:10.100 --> 00:08:11.379
Ask questions repeatedly.
00:08:11.460 --> 00:08:12.899
It's just like with your kids, too, right?
00:08:12.980 --> 00:08:16.419
Like you need to know how they're feeling and what they're going through and what they want more of.
00:08:16.500 --> 00:08:17.539
You got to ask questions of that.
00:08:17.779 --> 00:08:24.740
Well, so the book, Everyday Counts, Start Where You Are, Use What You Have, Do What You Can Is Available Now anywhere you Buy Books.
00:08:24.899 --> 00:08:26.740
So we'll get to more about that in a minute.
00:08:26.899 --> 00:08:31.299
But uh, in that book, you have a lot to say about discipline and goal setting.
00:08:31.539 --> 00:08:39.940
So I would ask you, how does the character attribute of discipline, David, uh, and the practice of goal setting play into your current life?
00:08:40.019 --> 00:08:43.139
And how would you apply this to group leaders and disciple makers?
00:08:43.299 --> 00:08:44.580
So, two-prone question.
00:08:44.740 --> 00:08:46.820
How you know, how have you seen that play out in your own life?
00:08:46.899 --> 00:08:50.019
And then how do we apply that in our in our ministry leadership?
00:08:50.259 --> 00:08:53.220
Well, I mean, discipline's the foundation of everything.
00:08:53.379 --> 00:09:00.019
And listen, like you can't tell me you want something if you don't have the discipline to do it.
00:09:00.259 --> 00:09:07.779
You can't tell me you really want to go make a difference and you want to pursue God if you don't have the discipline to get still and to get with God and to read his word.
00:09:08.100 --> 00:09:08.340
Right?
00:09:08.500 --> 00:09:10.899
Like that, those things have to go hand in hand.
00:09:10.980 --> 00:09:17.060
And so I think one thing about discipline, be selfish in the morning so you can be selfless the rest of the day.
00:09:17.300 --> 00:09:20.580
Like get in your word, get in your word in the morning.
00:09:20.740 --> 00:09:23.540
Do the things in the morning that you need to get done, man.
00:09:23.700 --> 00:09:28.580
Like those are the get your important stuff done so nothing comes up to get in your way.
00:09:28.820 --> 00:09:31.379
No distractions, fatigue doesn't enter.
00:09:31.460 --> 00:09:35.460
You know, like I think that's one of Satan's favorite things is to keep us distracted, right?
00:09:35.620 --> 00:09:41.220
And that's phones and and and all the job, jobs, and communicate, all that stuff does a really, really good job of that.
00:09:41.379 --> 00:09:42.980
So we've got to be intentional.
00:09:43.139 --> 00:09:45.860
You know, your alignment directly affects your assignment, right?
00:09:45.940 --> 00:09:48.899
Like if you want to climb a mountain, it's one step at a time.
00:09:49.139 --> 00:09:54.100
But a lot of times you get to climb and you get to the top of the mountain, you wrote, you know, that's the wrong mountain.
00:09:54.340 --> 00:09:56.100
I climbed the wrong freaking mountain, right?
00:09:56.180 --> 00:09:57.460
Like I'm supposed to be over there.
00:09:57.620 --> 00:10:02.899
So it starts with intentionality, and that's what we have to be every single day.
00:10:03.060 --> 00:10:06.660
The goal setting component, like we talk about this in the book a little bit.
00:10:06.820 --> 00:10:09.139
Like text yourself the night before you go to bed.
00:10:09.300 --> 00:10:11.460
What are three things that are non-negotiable tomorrow?
00:10:11.620 --> 00:10:12.899
Three things I'm gonna get done.
00:10:12.980 --> 00:10:18.820
You can do a spiritual one, a friendship one, a family one, a business one.
00:10:18.899 --> 00:10:19.779
You can do whatever you want.
00:10:19.940 --> 00:10:21.540
Like just shoot yourself a text.
00:10:21.700 --> 00:10:25.060
The first thing you do in the morning, most of y'all is look at your phone right away, right?
00:10:25.139 --> 00:10:28.340
And then I see my goals and I see my things that are gonna be important.
00:10:28.500 --> 00:10:31.540
Like, I think I think goal setting is great.
00:10:31.700 --> 00:10:36.740
I think long-term goal setting is great, but the most important thing about goal setting is today.
00:10:36.980 --> 00:10:41.700
Like, I have to win today to make those big goals come true down the road.
00:10:41.860 --> 00:10:49.220
And a lot of times I think people think they get all the information, they do all the goal setting, all the detailing, and they don't start.
00:10:49.860 --> 00:10:51.220
Like you got to start, right?
00:10:51.379 --> 00:10:52.980
You got to start exactly where you are.
00:10:53.060 --> 00:10:55.060
And that's why I say goal setting for today.
00:10:55.220 --> 00:10:57.540
Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
00:10:57.860 --> 00:10:58.660
This is where I'm at.
00:10:58.740 --> 00:11:05.460
Like, I might want to get there, but I got to use the gifts that God's given me right now and where I'm at to continue developing.
00:11:05.540 --> 00:11:11.700
Because I think we all look back three years ago, two years ago, and we're like, man, I wish I knew what I knew now.
00:11:11.940 --> 00:11:12.259
Right?
00:11:12.500 --> 00:11:13.460
We should be doing that.
00:11:13.620 --> 00:11:14.259
That's a good thing.
00:11:14.420 --> 00:11:18.740
We should be looking back, going, if I'd have known that, I'd have been better because that means we've grown.
00:11:18.899 --> 00:11:21.620
That means we've learned and we're going in the right direction.
00:11:21.860 --> 00:11:22.980
What is your morning routine?
00:11:23.060 --> 00:11:23.779
Is that the extent of it?
00:11:23.940 --> 00:11:26.340
Is getting in the word, or there is there a sequence?
00:11:26.660 --> 00:11:27.860
I have a sequence.
00:11:28.100 --> 00:11:29.540
I do it every day, the same thing.
00:11:29.700 --> 00:11:35.779
First thing I do is I get up, I go straight to my sauna and I get in the sauna and I get in there for 20 minutes and I listen to God.
00:11:36.019 --> 00:11:39.220
And I talk to him as well, but I do a lot of listening.
00:11:39.379 --> 00:11:49.139
And, you know, what I've learned, man, is if I'm gonna bring God into my life, if we're gonna have a relationship, I've got to get still enough to listen to him.
00:11:49.460 --> 00:11:54.580
If I'm gonna stay busy and go, go, go, do, do, do, I can get through a whole day and Davey's in control.
00:11:54.980 --> 00:11:58.660
Like I'm doing what I want, when I want, how I want, how I schedule.
00:11:58.820 --> 00:12:05.379
If I can get still and have a conversation with God and bring him into my days, now I use the three Rs to do this.
00:12:05.700 --> 00:12:06.899
This is the way I do it.
00:12:06.980 --> 00:12:12.180
Like, I think to me, prayer is extremely repetitious.
00:12:12.340 --> 00:12:16.580
It can, it can be boring, it can be awkward.
00:12:16.740 --> 00:12:17.779
Like it can be.
00:12:17.940 --> 00:12:22.740
Like it you can get stuck in the rut of saying the same prayer over and over and over again.
00:12:22.899 --> 00:12:25.300
So I use the three R's every single morning.
00:12:25.379 --> 00:12:26.660
The first one is reflect.
00:12:26.820 --> 00:12:29.379
Like yesterday, what did I do, man?
00:12:29.540 --> 00:12:30.660
Like, what was my day?
00:12:30.820 --> 00:12:31.860
Walk me through my day.
00:12:31.940 --> 00:12:33.779
Like, take I'm taking God through my day.
00:12:33.940 --> 00:12:42.980
So, for example, like I'm getting up like, you know, this morning, I go out, my sauna's on, I get in my sauna, I close my eyes, and I reflect on yesterday.
00:12:43.220 --> 00:12:44.340
What did I do?
00:12:44.580 --> 00:12:47.379
And for me, I traveled with my baby doll.
00:12:47.460 --> 00:12:50.019
I was thanking God for the time, the time I had with my daughter.
00:12:50.180 --> 00:12:55.779
Like we finished with a conversation with my daughter last night of things that I needed to pray about, right?
00:12:56.019 --> 00:13:06.660
Like because I'm reflecting, now I have things that I'm bringing like to God today that is in my life that are current things as opposed to thank you for my children.
00:13:06.740 --> 00:13:10.420
I'm I have specific things that are going on in my children's life to reflect on.
00:13:10.580 --> 00:13:11.940
The second R is repent.
00:13:12.100 --> 00:13:13.379
God, where did I mess up, man?
00:13:13.540 --> 00:13:15.460
I messed this up, I'm giving it to you.
00:13:15.620 --> 00:13:17.379
Like that's very self-explanatory.
00:13:17.540 --> 00:13:19.220
The third one is repurpose.
00:13:19.460 --> 00:13:22.340
Okay, God, this is what I have today.
00:13:22.580 --> 00:13:24.180
I messed this up yesterday.
00:13:24.340 --> 00:13:25.379
I messed this up.
00:13:25.540 --> 00:13:26.980
Um, this is what happened.
00:13:27.139 --> 00:13:28.899
Like, God, I have a meeting at three o'clock.
00:13:28.980 --> 00:13:29.540
I have an interview.
00:13:29.700 --> 00:13:30.820
Will you please be in it?
00:13:31.060 --> 00:13:32.420
Like, I want you to be in it.
00:13:32.500 --> 00:13:40.820
Like inviting God throughout your day, walking him through the day that you're gonna have, and asking him to open doors, asking him to close windows, whatever that looks like.
00:13:40.980 --> 00:13:44.980
But that that that routine for me, it gets me with God.
00:13:45.060 --> 00:13:46.340
It gets God within my day.
00:13:46.420 --> 00:13:50.740
And then when I put his word into my uh body early in the morning, guess what?
00:13:50.899 --> 00:13:53.060
I put that here, guess where it comes out?
00:13:53.220 --> 00:13:54.259
Right out of here.
00:13:54.420 --> 00:13:58.660
I put the word of God in my heart, it comes right out of my mouth all throughout the day.
00:13:58.820 --> 00:14:01.220
Um, so that's how I get started every morning.
00:14:01.460 --> 00:14:06.660
Yeah, this is under the broader uh the the broader category, everybody, of discipline.
00:14:06.740 --> 00:14:13.779
And so to everyone that's a ministry leader out there, I I think everyone can relate to this that sometimes you we let things go.
00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:17.060
And if you let it go once, it's just easier to let it go again.
00:14:17.220 --> 00:14:24.019
And so David's uh three R's, which is reflect, repent, repurpose, you know, you don't need a sauna in your home to do this.
00:14:24.180 --> 00:14:26.340
So that's a really good reminder.
00:14:26.500 --> 00:14:31.620
And again, this is this is who we are called to be, and it's the mantle of leadership.
00:14:31.779 --> 00:14:33.700
And uh, I think that's just a really good word.
00:14:33.860 --> 00:14:35.379
So thank you, David, for that.
00:14:35.620 --> 00:14:45.700
And um, so I would I would speculate, and I could be wrong here, that we don't have very many, if any, defensive players of the year and former or current NFL players in our listenership.
00:14:46.019 --> 00:14:52.899
Even so, I think it would be really interesting, David, to hear about the intersection of sports and faith.
00:14:53.220 --> 00:14:57.620
And uh, and I think that would be encouraging to those tuning into this episode.
00:14:57.779 --> 00:15:04.019
I think it's awesome to watch the boldness of Christ now in faith, the boldness of saying the name of Jesus.
00:15:04.180 --> 00:15:06.420
There was a there was a time when it was God, right?
00:15:06.500 --> 00:15:07.779
And it was kind of faux pod.
00:15:07.940 --> 00:15:13.700
Because look, let's be honest, Christians are probably the most scrutinized, talked-about group.
00:15:13.860 --> 00:15:16.259
Like we're attacked a lot, and that's and that's perfectly fine.
00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:17.139
I have no problem with that.
00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:19.620
I'm no problem with being attacked, like that doesn't bother me.
00:15:19.779 --> 00:15:29.540
But, you know, so to see so many the intersection now with with players being so content and so happy to share their faith, it's awesome.
00:15:29.700 --> 00:15:32.340
Like to be very specific on the field, it's awesome.
00:15:32.500 --> 00:15:33.860
To be bold, it is awesome.
00:15:34.019 --> 00:15:40.740
Like when you're in a sports culture, most of the time you have FCA, most of the time you have a team chaplain.
00:15:40.899 --> 00:15:49.620
Like you have so many areas of your life that you get to, you know, do with your buddies in a church setting, the team chaplains, right?
00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:51.060
Those guys are so awesome.
00:15:51.220 --> 00:15:59.300
So I think faith is a huge part of sport, developing closeness as a team and together and getting to know people and having bonds.
00:15:59.379 --> 00:16:01.460
Like, those are all things that are really, really big.
00:16:01.620 --> 00:16:03.060
But I'm encouraged, man.
00:16:03.139 --> 00:16:09.700
I'm really encouraged of watching how people have been so outward with their faith and unashamed.
00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:11.700
Like that's so awesome to see.
00:16:11.860 --> 00:16:14.580
Because here's the thing here, here's the bottom line.
00:16:14.820 --> 00:16:18.259
We don't live a rigid, restricted life.
00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:21.620
We live a liberating and free life in Jesus.
00:16:21.779 --> 00:16:24.019
Like, it's not a rough set of rules, man.
00:16:24.180 --> 00:16:25.540
It's flipping awesome.
00:16:25.700 --> 00:16:29.379
Like it is cool, it is fun, it's fun to do.
00:16:29.620 --> 00:16:35.379
And we got a God that's that that like meets us in our needs that when we mess up, he's not trying to squash us.
00:16:35.540 --> 00:16:37.700
He's trying to help us, he's trying to build us back up.
00:16:37.860 --> 00:16:45.860
And so I think anytime we get to share that in um sports just brings out a lot of opportunities to get a microphone in front of you when people want to listen.
00:16:46.180 --> 00:16:48.340
He referenced team and camaraderie.
00:16:48.420 --> 00:16:53.060
And there's something about sports uh Bill Curry at Kentucky referred to as the Fellowship of the Miserable.
00:16:53.220 --> 00:16:57.540
There's something about going through adversity uh that really draws people together, right?
00:16:57.620 --> 00:17:04.180
And I think that works, particularly maybe in football more than any of the other, you know, more popular sports that are out there.
00:17:04.339 --> 00:17:08.019
But for group leaders, but also church staff and ministry leaders, David.
00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:13.299
How would you counsel these leaders in prioritizing group members and family appropriately?
00:17:13.460 --> 00:17:14.339
You know what I'm saying?
00:17:14.500 --> 00:17:16.899
So it's built in in the context of team.
00:17:17.059 --> 00:17:18.500
I mean, it's it's ready-made.
00:17:18.660 --> 00:17:21.940
Sometimes we've got to go find it and create it.
00:17:22.099 --> 00:17:25.299
How would you counsel like ministry leaders to create?
00:17:25.779 --> 00:17:30.740
I'm not asking people to be miserable, of course, but it's that it's that bond that you just described.
00:17:30.819 --> 00:17:31.059
Yeah.
00:17:31.299 --> 00:17:38.339
Well, it's creating, it's creating opportunity for vulnerables, for vulnerabilities and vulnerableness.
00:17:38.420 --> 00:17:41.140
Like it's creating opportunities for honesty.
00:17:41.299 --> 00:17:46.100
Like, and that's why I talked about earlier in the group, like that's why I like to share my failures.
00:17:46.339 --> 00:17:49.460
Like understanding, like this is a safe space.
00:17:49.940 --> 00:17:51.779
This this is a place of accountability.
00:17:51.940 --> 00:17:57.620
This, this is a place where like we understand we're not perfect and we don't expect you to be, right?
00:17:57.700 --> 00:17:59.700
Like we're not expecting that from you.
00:17:59.860 --> 00:18:10.339
So I think when you can create an atmosphere like that, man, an atmosphere of encouragement, you know, not condemnation, an act, an atmosphere of acceptance, not rejectance, right?
00:18:10.500 --> 00:18:12.980
Like I think those are great things.
00:18:13.140 --> 00:18:14.420
Teams naturally do that.
00:18:14.579 --> 00:18:19.299
But as a leader, you've got to figure out ways to ask questions and to get into people's lives.
00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:20.500
So they'll share.
00:18:20.579 --> 00:18:21.620
So you'll get to know them.
00:18:21.779 --> 00:18:24.900
Otherwise, they're gonna tell you what you want to hear with a blank stare.
00:18:24.980 --> 00:18:30.980
And you're not really getting into the meat or the crux of some of the things, the root of the problems that need to be solved, right?
00:18:31.140 --> 00:18:43.539
So those are those are important things, man, when you're building these relationships and you know, how do you find ways to ask questions, to delicately pry into people's lives, to get them to talk, to get them to feel comfortable?
00:18:43.700 --> 00:18:45.059
How do you create that environment?
00:18:45.220 --> 00:18:46.819
Is it going into movies?
00:18:46.980 --> 00:18:51.860
Is it like, you know, or to arcades or bowling or, you know, you know, how do you do that?
00:18:52.019 --> 00:18:55.940
It's not in a setting that's rigid and rugged and like, oh, like this is weird.
00:18:56.019 --> 00:18:56.980
Everybody's looking at me.
00:18:57.059 --> 00:18:58.500
Like, how can you alleviate some of that?
00:18:58.579 --> 00:19:02.259
Maybe get one-on-one, you know, get two on two, like stuff like that.
00:19:02.579 --> 00:19:05.059
And this idea of finding ways, there's no shortcut.
00:19:05.460 --> 00:19:09.779
Life doesn't call time out and say, all right, I'm gonna give you this, these times.
00:19:10.019 --> 00:19:12.259
You've got to go claim that time to find those ways.
00:19:12.339 --> 00:19:14.740
You've got to build out that intentional relational time.
00:19:14.900 --> 00:19:21.779
And it seems like for group leadership, group leaders, administry leaders, that's even more important than in other walks of life.
00:19:21.860 --> 00:19:26.100
But I wonder, honestly, how how you know how how often it happens.
00:19:26.259 --> 00:19:32.500
I think sometimes we rally around that group meeting Wednesday night, Thursday night, Saturday, you know, Tuesday morning.
00:19:32.819 --> 00:19:34.819
And kind of glad I got through that.
00:19:34.900 --> 00:19:35.700
That was good, wasn't it?
00:19:35.779 --> 00:19:41.059
When that's or you cram for it, yeah, you know, like that's like I'm reading my thing, I need to read for it.
00:19:41.140 --> 00:19:45.700
But yeah, and then you stop, you lose some of the the point of this is to live it every day, right?
00:19:45.779 --> 00:19:54.339
Like the point of this is to be, you know, obviously and creating those rhythms, creating those habits, those are things that are you driven.
00:19:54.500 --> 00:19:59.380
Like you decide, like, but but your your alignment, your your alignment and which way you're going.
00:19:59.539 --> 00:20:03.220
Like those, those are things that every day that you have a chance to line up and do that.
00:20:03.299 --> 00:20:07.700
And that's where the rhythms you create and the habits you create, the friendships you create.
00:20:07.779 --> 00:20:08.900
Like I have a lot of buddies, man.
00:20:08.980 --> 00:20:12.900
We're going through different books, you know, like, hey, let's go through James in the Bible.
00:20:13.059 --> 00:20:14.500
Hey, let's go through John in the Bible.
00:20:14.579 --> 00:20:18.579
Hey, let's read this book together and just, you know, send things, send thoughts back and forth.
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:23.779
Let's read a chapter a day, you know, like create those, create those things in those accountability partners.
00:20:23.860 --> 00:20:25.700
Because listen, Jesus could have done it alone.
00:20:25.779 --> 00:20:26.259
He didn't.
00:20:26.339 --> 00:20:28.420
So if you don't think you need people, you're wrong.
00:20:28.579 --> 00:20:32.339
Like you're going to need people to help you stay on the straight.
00:20:32.900 --> 00:20:34.980
But here's the thing: you need the right people.
00:20:36.019 --> 00:20:40.420
Don't hang out with people that have a bad marriage and expect to have a and expect them to care about your marriage.
00:20:40.500 --> 00:20:43.140
If they don't care about their marriage, they don't care about your marriage, right?
00:20:43.299 --> 00:20:56.339
Like making sure we're spending the time with the right people that are pouring into us, and then obviously people that we're pouring into, but you know, what you're listening to, praise and worship versus uh podcast versus other things.
00:20:56.420 --> 00:21:02.339
How do you how do you create those rhythms and things that really bless you, that help you be the best version of you?
00:21:02.579 --> 00:21:06.579
This the the that term you driven, I think is really good, by the way.
00:21:06.740 --> 00:21:17.940
But this is this is where that text, that texting yourself idea, because you can at night you can you can do a self-assessment and then text yourself goals for tomorrow, and then you can time it.
00:21:18.019 --> 00:21:25.539
Most, I guess all phones, but I I know most iPhones now, you can set that text to to send at whatever time you want.
00:21:25.700 --> 00:21:26.660
It can almost be an alarm.
00:21:26.900 --> 00:21:30.339
So the first delay you look at is is what you is what you want.
00:21:30.579 --> 00:21:30.900
All right.
00:21:30.980 --> 00:21:38.740
So this whole this whole idea of intentional relationship and the challenges, particularly with the culture we live in, that's something to overcome.
00:21:38.900 --> 00:21:40.100
That's not an excuse.
00:21:40.259 --> 00:21:43.299
But I think this is particularly true of men, in my opinion.
00:21:43.460 --> 00:21:48.500
There's a lot that could be said and a lot that is being said about the state of men.
00:21:48.740 --> 00:21:53.940
So give us a snapshot of men's discipleship in today's world as you see it.
00:21:54.100 --> 00:22:09.380
Um, in particular, like what are we as ministry leaders and our listeners, what could we be missing and the needs that you think should be addressed sooner than later, like in in the crisis, in the crisis moment that we might live in.
00:22:09.620 --> 00:22:10.900
Well, we need men.
00:22:11.059 --> 00:22:16.579
Um, you know, I think Joby Martin's good book, his new book is really good, Stand Firm and Act Like Men.
00:22:16.900 --> 00:22:24.819
And um talks really good in the beginning, it talks about like having the the like God put a will for us in him for him, like to know him.
00:22:25.140 --> 00:22:28.100
Uh God wanted us to work and God gave us a woman, right?
00:22:28.180 --> 00:22:31.380
So, like a bunch of different things that kind of you know start to align up.
00:22:31.460 --> 00:22:34.980
But like if we're going to be men and we're going to lead.
00:22:35.620 --> 00:22:36.980
Which is what we've been asked to do.
00:22:37.140 --> 00:22:38.420
It's what we've been called to do.
00:22:38.579 --> 00:22:51.539
If we're gonna lead, that requires effort, that requires intention, that requires motivation, that requires sacrifice, that requires giving up things that you want to do.
00:22:51.779 --> 00:22:55.299
It might be guide time, it might be other stuff that you really, really like to do.
00:22:55.460 --> 00:22:57.620
Video games, it's stuff you like to do.
00:22:58.019 --> 00:23:00.740
You have a job, you have a responsibility.
00:23:00.980 --> 00:23:05.220
And so if you are married, your responsibility obviously changes.
00:23:05.380 --> 00:23:07.779
When you have kids, your responsibility changes.
00:23:07.860 --> 00:23:14.339
But your responsibility is to God, your responsibility then is to your spouse, and then your responsibility is to your kids.
00:23:14.500 --> 00:23:16.180
Like it's in that order.
00:23:16.259 --> 00:23:20.500
Like it can't be kids second, like which seems to happen a lot.
00:23:20.660 --> 00:23:23.779
So I think, you know, men have to understand, like, we're the leader.
00:23:23.860 --> 00:23:24.420
We've been called.
00:23:24.579 --> 00:23:27.140
Men's words weigh more whether you like it or not.
00:23:27.460 --> 00:23:30.019
Like mama's words are important and they're awesome.
00:23:30.180 --> 00:23:33.299
They might weigh 500 pounds, but dad's words weigh a thousand.
00:23:33.460 --> 00:23:34.900
We were given a deep voice.
00:23:35.140 --> 00:23:40.740
We were given uh big size most of the time, bigger size and intimidation for a reason, right?
00:23:40.819 --> 00:23:44.019
Like that, that's part of our DNA and part of our makeup.
00:23:44.180 --> 00:23:53.779
And so I think accepting responsibility for your family, accepting responsibility for your bride and how you're leading them, that's what a man does.
00:23:54.019 --> 00:23:55.860
A man does that consistently.
00:23:55.940 --> 00:23:59.940
And a man accepts when they fail because we're gonna fail as well, and we're gonna fail them.
00:24:00.019 --> 00:24:02.100
And I think it's important to show them that we're gonna fail.
00:24:02.180 --> 00:24:03.380
And how do we handle that?
00:24:03.539 --> 00:24:05.299
Like my son, it's really cool.
00:24:05.380 --> 00:24:06.500
My son's 17, man.
00:24:06.579 --> 00:24:08.900
I'm really enjoying like walking through life with him.
00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:11.460
And, you know, situations are coming up all the time.
00:24:11.620 --> 00:24:18.740
And like his girlfriend the other day, he was talking about his girlfriend, and they were down downtown Nashville with their with their with their mom and dad.
00:24:18.819 --> 00:24:21.779
And you know, there's some kind of altercation and her hair gets grabbed.
00:24:21.860 --> 00:24:24.579
And she was like, he was like, What would you do if you were there?
00:24:24.819 --> 00:24:28.500
And I was like, Well, my job as a man, buddy, is to protect you.
00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:29.779
Like, that's my job.
00:24:29.940 --> 00:24:31.940
My job is to protect my family.
00:24:32.100 --> 00:24:34.420
And I was like, So he's like, Would you start to fight?
00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:35.700
And I was like, No, no, no, no, no.
00:24:35.779 --> 00:24:38.420
I didn't say fight, I said to protect my family.
00:24:38.500 --> 00:24:41.539
My my job is not to pour gasoline on an altercation.
00:24:41.620 --> 00:24:43.299
My job is to pour cold water.
00:24:43.460 --> 00:24:49.059
Like, my job is to keep you safe no matter what, like and get you out of situations that are really, really tough.
00:24:49.220 --> 00:24:53.779
But like men are going to listen, here's what I've learned about women.
00:24:53.940 --> 00:24:56.819
If men don't step up and lead, women will.
00:24:57.860 --> 00:24:58.500
Women will.
00:24:58.660 --> 00:25:00.980
Women will step up and get grown people's stuff done.
00:25:01.059 --> 00:25:02.740
They will absolutely get it done.
00:25:02.819 --> 00:25:04.660
But men, you have been called to lead.
00:25:04.819 --> 00:25:06.900
You have been called to be the head of your household.
00:25:07.140 --> 00:25:10.180
So, you know, that's a challenge that you shouldn't take lightly.
00:25:10.259 --> 00:25:23.380
That that, you know, despite what's going on in your world and what responsibilities you have, just prioritize the ones that are that are the most important that we just talked about, not providing, you know, a job is not number one.
00:25:23.539 --> 00:25:25.299
It shouldn't be number one.
00:25:26.180 --> 00:25:28.819
So, David, let's let's talk about that 17-year-old.
00:25:28.900 --> 00:25:35.700
Like, I think we all understand responsibility for the married man, you know, it has children and a wife and career and job.
00:25:35.940 --> 00:25:38.819
So, what about that 17-year-old or 15-year-old?
00:25:38.900 --> 00:25:46.259
You know, those that might be in student ministry that are listening, those that have parents of teens, uh sons, uh, what about those guys?
00:25:46.420 --> 00:25:48.660
What counsel do you have in that regard?
00:25:49.380 --> 00:25:50.180
Pray.
00:25:50.420 --> 00:25:53.620
Um, I mean, it parenting is the hardest thing you'll ever do.
00:25:53.860 --> 00:25:54.180
I think.
00:25:54.339 --> 00:25:58.100
I think it's the hardest job that it's the most rewarding and it's the best.
00:25:58.180 --> 00:26:00.980
I'm raising adults, I'm not raising children, right?
00:26:01.059 --> 00:26:03.700
Like, I'm not trying to be my kids' best friends.
00:26:03.779 --> 00:26:06.339
I and I don't necessarily even care if they like me all the time.
00:26:06.420 --> 00:26:07.380
That's not like the job.
00:26:07.539 --> 00:26:12.660
My job, so my job is to make sure that they understand the things that are important and we're living that out.
00:26:12.819 --> 00:26:14.740
It's not to tell them, it's to show them.
00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:16.819
I see better than I hear, right?
00:26:16.900 --> 00:26:19.299
Like more is caught than taught any day of the week.
00:26:19.460 --> 00:26:29.059
And, you know, for example, if I'm a parent, sports is really an awesome thing, but it's taking a place in our society where it owns your weekends, it owns your Sundays.
00:26:29.220 --> 00:26:29.860
No, no, no.
00:26:29.940 --> 00:26:31.779
That's not that's not gonna happen in my house.
00:26:31.940 --> 00:26:33.460
Like, we're going to church.
00:26:33.620 --> 00:26:34.579
That's what we do.
00:26:34.740 --> 00:26:36.100
That's my job as a parent.
00:26:36.180 --> 00:26:39.779
Like, I'm supposed to show you what the most important thing is, not tell you.
00:26:39.860 --> 00:26:40.660
I said show you.
00:26:40.819 --> 00:26:46.500
When you tell them church is important and then go to basketball, you're you're showing them basketball is more important than God.
00:26:47.140 --> 00:26:49.220
Like that's it's exactly what we're showing them, right?
00:26:49.299 --> 00:26:54.100
Like, we need to show them the importance that sport is important, but it takes a backseat to church.
00:26:54.259 --> 00:26:55.860
And and this is the most important thing.
00:26:55.940 --> 00:27:02.100
So, parenting is about like it's it's it's not easy, like I said, um, and different ages, different stages.
00:27:02.259 --> 00:27:04.740
And and and I'd be lying if I said every kid was the same.
00:27:04.900 --> 00:27:05.860
Every kid's not the same.
00:27:05.940 --> 00:27:09.460
Like I got two that one's from Venus, one's from Mars, right?
00:27:09.539 --> 00:27:15.620
Like it's totally different, you know, getting to know their personalities and who they are and what they are and what they need, man.
00:27:15.779 --> 00:27:24.980
But I think the most important thing you can do as a parent is love your spouse in a great way because that's that's a great model for them to show what it's going to look like in the future.
00:27:25.140 --> 00:27:26.420
Um, it's a huge model.
00:27:26.579 --> 00:27:28.420
Obviously, loving God is important.
00:27:28.500 --> 00:27:30.100
It's the most important thing, number one.
00:27:30.180 --> 00:27:32.500
But um, they're watching how you carry yourself.
00:27:32.660 --> 00:27:33.860
But it's tough.
00:27:34.019 --> 00:27:38.900
It requires consistency, it requires being different, it requires having conversations.
00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:41.700
Like, I know your friend's parents let you do this.
00:27:41.940 --> 00:27:43.380
That's not our rules.
00:27:43.620 --> 00:27:45.220
And that's that's not fun.
00:27:45.299 --> 00:27:46.980
Like my son with his girlfriend, man.
00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:48.740
Like we have the one-third rule.
00:27:48.900 --> 00:27:54.259
Like, one third of the weekend is for family, one third can be for friends, one third can be for your girlfriend.
00:27:54.420 --> 00:27:56.339
We're not seeing a girlfriend every day of the weekend.
00:27:56.500 --> 00:27:57.620
It's not the way it works, bud.
00:27:57.779 --> 00:27:58.900
That's not what we're doing.
00:27:59.220 --> 00:28:03.700
And, you know, he doesn't like that, and he doesn't understand it, like curfews, stuff like that.
00:28:03.779 --> 00:28:06.259
But like we we want to be different.
00:28:06.339 --> 00:28:12.259
We we want to create healthy boundaries, we want to have conversations about different things that are that are really, really important.
00:28:12.420 --> 00:28:20.259
So parenting is it's not a one size fits all, it's hard, but it just requires consistency and just like everything else we've been talking about, intentionality.
00:28:20.579 --> 00:28:32.660
What David is saying there, um there's a lot of wise counsel there, but really when you get right down to it, it can't be overstated the importance of prior priorities, uh, the appropriate prior prioritization.
00:28:32.900 --> 00:28:38.420
And I think we can, yeah, we could all get that, we all get that answer right on the test.
00:28:38.660 --> 00:28:40.819
That's not really the ultimate filter.
00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:47.779
How you're living your life and what your behavior would indicate are your priorities, and your decisions would indicate about your priorities.
00:28:47.940 --> 00:28:51.059
That's that's that's what that's where we're scored.
00:28:51.220 --> 00:28:52.819
So all of that is really good.
00:28:52.980 --> 00:28:56.100
Um, it's a good segue into a question about adversity, David.
00:28:56.180 --> 00:29:02.900
So you've had your portion of adversity, uh, different and more public, but not unlike a lot of people experiencing adversity.
00:29:03.140 --> 00:29:08.660
So I would just ask you, what lessons have you learned about navigating these seasons that are sure to come?
00:29:08.819 --> 00:29:11.460
And what lessons have you learned from those around you?
00:29:11.539 --> 00:29:13.539
Like who has had the most impact?
00:29:13.940 --> 00:29:16.980
Man, adversity is the best teacher, isn't it?
00:29:17.059 --> 00:29:19.620
Like it's just it's so awesome.
00:29:19.700 --> 00:29:20.420
It's so needy.
00:29:20.740 --> 00:29:22.259
If you let it, um, if you let it.
00:29:22.740 --> 00:29:24.339
No, it's gonna be whether you like it or not.
00:29:24.500 --> 00:29:26.500
I mean, whether you like it or not, you're gonna, you know why?
00:29:26.579 --> 00:29:27.779
Because you're gonna keep getting it.
00:29:27.940 --> 00:29:28.980
You're just gonna keep getting it.
00:29:29.059 --> 00:29:38.900
It's gonna be self-inflicted, whether you want to keep, whether you want to make some changes and take things for what it needs to be taken for, or else you're gonna continue to inflict it on yourself, I think more than you probably need to.
00:29:39.059 --> 00:29:43.539
But like there are some things in life God's gonna take us around and allow and protect us from.
00:29:43.700 --> 00:29:47.220
But there are a certain number of things, man, God's gotta take us right through it.
00:29:47.380 --> 00:29:54.420
And and I can tell you this from our adversities, man, like the Bible says, be still and know that I am God.
00:29:54.660 --> 00:29:57.539
I never do that more than when I'm hurting.
00:29:57.779 --> 00:30:00.019
Then something hurts deep in here.
00:30:00.259 --> 00:30:03.220
And I I go through my days just like a lot of y'all, man.
00:30:03.299 --> 00:30:06.500
And like the more good things happen, the more we continue.
00:30:06.819 --> 00:30:08.420
It's all good, it's all good, it's all good.
00:30:08.500 --> 00:30:10.100
I'm in control, I'm in control, I'm in control.
00:30:10.420 --> 00:30:11.940
Something goes bad, it's like, oh, wait a minute.
00:30:12.019 --> 00:30:12.420
Yep, right.
00:30:12.500 --> 00:30:14.019
That's I'm not in control, right?
00:30:14.100 --> 00:30:20.259
Like it's so it's those good reminders that you know, that we aren't in control, that things are difficult.
00:30:20.420 --> 00:30:21.299
It's a good reminder.
00:30:21.460 --> 00:30:23.860
We don't deserve to be happy.
00:30:24.019 --> 00:30:27.860
We don't deserve to have great things that we want all the time.
00:30:28.019 --> 00:30:29.940
Like it's not what we deserve, right?
00:30:30.100 --> 00:30:35.140
So I think, you know, adversity shows us that it makes us appreciate those other moments more.
00:30:35.299 --> 00:30:43.940
The good thing about adversity, too, I love is um it develops empathy and sympathy in your life for people that you would have never had, right?
00:30:44.019 --> 00:30:48.420
Like when you go through that hard moment, man, you know what someone else is going through.
00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:54.019
And it gives you uh it gives you such credence to speak into that in somebody else's life.
00:30:54.180 --> 00:30:55.380
Like, I've been through that.
00:30:55.539 --> 00:30:57.539
I understand exactly what you're going through, man.
00:30:57.700 --> 00:31:01.620
Went through it with my wife five years ago, went through it with my kid five years ago, right?
00:31:01.700 --> 00:31:04.019
Like, I know exactly what you're going through.
00:31:04.259 --> 00:31:07.299
God used that as a season in our life to get us through it to get here.
00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:15.140
But I I think the most important thing to understand about adversity, though, is God says he wants to prosper us and make us successful.
00:31:15.380 --> 00:31:17.779
God says he is for us, not against us.
00:31:17.940 --> 00:31:21.860
God says he wants good things for us in every situation.
00:31:22.100 --> 00:31:24.180
So there is nothing wasted.
00:31:24.740 --> 00:31:26.980
Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's wasted.
00:31:27.140 --> 00:31:29.460
Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not purposeful.
00:31:29.539 --> 00:31:33.059
And so how do we how do we take lessons, not losses, right?
00:31:33.220 --> 00:31:34.579
How do we fail forward?
00:31:34.660 --> 00:31:35.539
How do we continue?
00:31:35.620 --> 00:31:39.940
If you fail a class in school, you have to take it again, right?
00:31:40.100 --> 00:31:45.860
Like if we want to continue to do the same thing over and over again, we'll we'll continue to have a lot of bad results, right?
00:31:45.940 --> 00:31:49.299
Like, unless we make some changes and we like, all right, I see it.
00:31:49.380 --> 00:31:50.900
Like, I need to take accountability.
00:31:51.059 --> 00:31:56.259
Like this is something that I keep tripping up with that that keeps causing me to stumble, that I've got to address.
00:31:56.339 --> 00:31:59.220
And so adversely is just one of the best teachers, man.
00:31:59.539 --> 00:32:15.779
Yeah, and some of the conversations I've had with my daughters who are now 31 and 28, but when they were growing up, uh, particularly through the undergraduate years at the University of Tennessee, I remember telling Skylar, the youngest, sometimes, Skylar, we just have to uh let the hard things be hard.
00:32:15.940 --> 00:32:18.500
Uh, you don't, like what you said, you don't end around it.
00:32:18.579 --> 00:32:20.100
Uh, you're being called into this.
00:32:20.180 --> 00:32:22.579
And yeah, it's hard to just name it.
00:32:22.819 --> 00:32:31.460
I had a mentor tell me one time that we tend to embrace the shame to your point, embrace the shame and reject the pain.
00:32:31.620 --> 00:32:35.700
But if Jesus is our model, we reject the shame and embrace the pain.
00:32:35.860 --> 00:32:42.339
And that's exactly what you're saying is accept that call into that adversity so that it can be the teacher.
00:32:42.500 --> 00:32:52.339
Because I do think that we we will short circuit what God wants to do in our is endeavoring to do in our lives by calling us into that adversity through various means these days.
00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:53.940
But David makes a real good point.
00:32:54.180 --> 00:32:58.420
You may think you're getting around it, but all you're doing is compounding that problem.
00:32:58.819 --> 00:33:00.740
So that's really good word there.
00:33:00.900 --> 00:33:02.740
I would ask you, I referenced it earlier.
00:33:02.900 --> 00:33:08.259
So the book, Every Day Counts, start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can.
00:33:08.500 --> 00:33:10.819
So, David, what's the inspiration behind this book?
00:33:10.900 --> 00:33:12.579
Just talk to us a little bit about that.
00:33:12.819 --> 00:33:16.740
I think one of the things, first of all, I had no desire to share the good things in my life.
00:33:16.819 --> 00:33:21.700
It was all about sharing the adversities and the struggles and some of the things that were really hard.
00:33:21.860 --> 00:33:37.380
But just to show you that God shows up and God shows out and uses your worst, quote unquote, worst moments, and it still glorifies him and it still makes you better, and it still reveals things to you, man, that are just that are so awesome that you're appreciative for later.
00:33:37.539 --> 00:33:40.100
And um, every day counts as a motto.
00:33:40.259 --> 00:33:43.940
Every day counts, like I equate it to driving in the car, man.
00:33:44.019 --> 00:33:51.140
When you're in the car, like when we if you look too much out the windshield and you're always forward thinking, we're not in the moment.
00:33:51.299 --> 00:33:52.660
We're not living today, right?
00:33:52.740 --> 00:33:59.140
And then when we look, sometimes some of us look in that rear view mirror and it's shame and it's guilt and it's faults and it's things we wish we would have done.
00:33:59.299 --> 00:34:00.900
Like, we want to live in the car, man.
00:34:01.059 --> 00:34:02.180
We want to live in the moment.
00:34:02.259 --> 00:34:06.980
We want to be great where we're at and really excel and and and bloom where we're planted, right?
00:34:07.059 --> 00:34:08.179
And thrive where we're at.
00:34:08.339 --> 00:34:10.259
So I think it's just a mindset of that.
00:34:10.339 --> 00:34:13.539
A lot of people preaching on Sunday sermons, and I'm like, this is so amazing.
00:34:13.699 --> 00:34:16.339
But if I don't have takeaways, man, it's really hard for me to follow.
00:34:16.500 --> 00:34:18.579
And it's really hard for me to take those next steps.
00:34:18.739 --> 00:34:22.739
So kind of formulating an identity of everyday counts and how to do it.
00:34:22.980 --> 00:34:25.380
And um, I didn't know I had done this throughout my life.
00:34:25.460 --> 00:34:28.179
I kind of started to realize it later on, like, oh, wait a minute.
00:34:28.259 --> 00:34:31.380
Like when I got to college, I kind of that's kind of what I did, right?
00:34:31.619 --> 00:34:34.019
My position groups, and this is how I actually did it.
00:34:34.179 --> 00:34:45.059
And so, you know, I think if we can adapt a mindset of fighting for today and being great today and enjoying today, um, tomorrow usually takes care of itself.
00:34:45.699 --> 00:34:50.899
So tell us a little bit about the 50, 40, 10 rule without giving away everything.
00:34:51.139 --> 00:34:53.459
Yeah, I mean, it it's it's it's fine.
00:34:53.539 --> 00:34:58.019
It's it's 50% of people you can show up in this life and whatever you do, and you can outwork them.
00:34:58.179 --> 00:34:58.980
50%, man.
00:34:59.059 --> 00:35:00.739
Show up with a good attitude, you can outwork them.
00:35:00.899 --> 00:35:02.419
40% you can outdetail.
00:35:02.579 --> 00:35:18.739
And when I say out detail, out detail, out-organize, out-strategize, you know, as a football player, like it was, it was getting the cold tub, it was getting the hot tub, the cryotherapy, uh, eat good foods, get good sleep, like maximize my body so my body will perform for me.
00:35:18.819 --> 00:35:22.899
Watch tape so I can study and be ahead of the play when it before it's even happened, right?
00:35:22.980 --> 00:35:25.379
So, like it's out-prepare, it's out detail.
00:35:25.779 --> 00:35:26.819
Like life strategy.
00:35:26.980 --> 00:35:27.299
Yeah.
00:35:27.459 --> 00:35:28.339
Yes, 100%.
00:35:28.659 --> 00:35:32.659
Like, you know, it's it's again, it's one thing to show up with a good attitude, work really hard.
00:35:32.739 --> 00:35:33.859
That's 50%, right?
00:35:34.019 --> 00:35:36.179
Uh, 40% out detail, out strategy.
00:35:36.259 --> 00:35:39.699
And then the last 10%, man, who can take the shots and keep moving forward?
00:35:40.099 --> 00:35:46.179
Like, who can accept I'm going to fail, I'm gonna mess up, but I'm not gonna let it deter me.
00:35:46.339 --> 00:35:48.739
Like, I'm going to keep moving forward.
00:35:48.899 --> 00:35:51.859
And if I get a no in business, I'm waiting for the yes.
00:35:52.019 --> 00:35:53.619
I'm gonna go get me a yes, right?
00:35:53.699 --> 00:36:07.379
Like that's the, and that's my corporate, you know, business, you know, high achiever, competitive person way of modeling something I think where you can really understand it and and and compartmentalize what it takes to go be great.
00:36:07.699 --> 00:36:10.579
There's a leadership lesson there too, in the 50-40-10.
00:36:10.659 --> 00:36:12.179
So it's not just a life application.
00:36:12.259 --> 00:36:17.299
I don't mean just dismissively, but as a group leader, as a ministry leader, guess what?
00:36:17.459 --> 00:36:19.219
You're gonna take some shots.
00:36:19.379 --> 00:36:23.459
Um, I mean, it sometimes is a literal shot, sometimes it's just a bad day.
00:36:23.619 --> 00:36:26.899
A bad ministry day can have a profound impact.
00:36:27.059 --> 00:36:30.339
I would dare say that the same is true of any any job.
00:36:30.500 --> 00:36:35.779
But the ministry, the to be a ministry leader and a group leader is just such a personal endeavor, David.
00:36:35.939 --> 00:36:43.219
So, you know, that 10% just knowing, and I really like the idea of look just looking at yesterday, the the reflect part.
00:36:43.459 --> 00:36:48.099
So reflect, uh, repent, and repurpose in that same context.
00:36:48.179 --> 00:36:50.500
So you're like, yep, today wasn't great.
00:36:50.739 --> 00:36:52.819
Wasn't great for these for these reasons.
00:36:53.059 --> 00:36:53.859
Why wasn't it great?
00:36:53.939 --> 00:36:54.259
Yes.
00:36:54.419 --> 00:36:54.659
Why?
00:36:54.819 --> 00:36:56.339
So it's not just repeat, right?
00:36:56.419 --> 00:37:00.259
Like if we just say today sucked and we don't know why, like we need to know why.
00:37:00.339 --> 00:37:05.219
We need to know where we missed the mark, and so how we can try to you know implement strategies where we don't do it again.
00:37:05.459 --> 00:37:06.980
And that's that quiet you talked about.
00:37:07.059 --> 00:37:16.819
You know, only in that quiet can you really receive that kind of what correction, counsel, uh, insight, you know, whatever it is that the spirit's revealing to you.
00:37:16.899 --> 00:37:18.179
So it's all of those things.
00:37:18.419 --> 00:37:19.939
So uh one last question.
00:37:20.099 --> 00:37:28.579
So, David, as you this is because you get you're out and about, you're around a lot of people, you're in churches, uh, you're in group life.
00:37:28.819 --> 00:37:36.339
Um as you survey our current cultural moment, this this cultural moment, uh, where do you see God moving?
00:37:36.500 --> 00:37:38.179
I mean, I see God moving everywhere.
00:37:38.339 --> 00:37:55.699
I mean, God's I I I am definitely one of those people that I I feel like I see more of his movement more and more than than I did before, and more people um, you know, willing to share, more people willing to, you know, I I love the fact that social media, like everybody has a microphone, right?
00:37:55.939 --> 00:38:01.779
Everybody's got a camera, you know, so you have an opportunity to share what's important to you, what's not important to you.
00:38:01.939 --> 00:38:03.299
You get to learn and educate.
00:38:03.379 --> 00:38:06.179
And so I see God moving all over the place, man.
00:38:06.339 --> 00:38:08.019
I see him moving in young people.
00:38:08.099 --> 00:38:10.739
I I think in young people you're seeing more faith.
00:38:10.980 --> 00:38:21.619
Athletes are seeing more faith, like more boldness in young people, more you know, willingness to to be baptized, more willingness to you see the praise and worship, you see it all over the place.
00:38:21.699 --> 00:38:23.859
But God's God's on the move for sure.
00:38:24.019 --> 00:38:25.939
And I just I like being a part of it.
00:38:26.099 --> 00:38:28.659
And listen, we're we're commanded to be a part of this, guys.
00:38:28.819 --> 00:38:32.179
Like, God didn't say, when you get time, please share me.
00:38:32.819 --> 00:38:36.339
Like He commanded us to share His word, to share.
00:38:36.419 --> 00:38:42.099
I I had somebody to challenge me with this a couple years ago, and you talk about getting slapped upside your grill right in the face.
00:38:42.419 --> 00:38:55.139
Somebody, somebody asked me, if everyone you prayed for this last week, if every if every prayer you prayed this last week, um, how many people would be entered the kingdom of heaven?
00:38:55.379 --> 00:38:58.980
And it was really sad because this was like two or three years ago, and my answer was zero.
00:38:59.219 --> 00:39:07.539
Like, I wasn't even currently praying for someone to accept the best gift that they've ever been given in their life that would change their life, would change their eternity.
00:39:07.699 --> 00:39:13.779
And so, like being very cognizant of that and uh thinking about that and seeking those opportunities.
00:39:13.859 --> 00:39:16.980
I I like, I like that we're having more boldness.
00:39:17.219 --> 00:39:21.379
I like that we have access to people at a at a higher rate with social media.
00:39:21.459 --> 00:39:23.939
I like my challenge is how do we use it for good?
00:39:24.179 --> 00:39:25.459
Because God can use it for good.
00:39:25.619 --> 00:39:31.059
God can use all things for good, even social media, which I don't necessarily care for that much.
00:39:31.219 --> 00:39:32.739
It can be used for good.
00:39:33.619 --> 00:39:35.299
So again, that that's an opportunity.
00:39:35.379 --> 00:39:42.980
Sometimes when we have those moments, we can just fold and say, man, I'm just uh I'm just not getting it done.
00:39:43.139 --> 00:39:49.859
And that's again where that reflect comes in, because that's not the goal of a convicting question, confronted question like that.
00:39:50.019 --> 00:39:55.539
And not only should we receive that well from those closest to us, we should be asking those things of ourselves.
00:39:55.699 --> 00:39:59.859
Um, and that that is beyond even being a ministry leader.
00:40:00.259 --> 00:40:01.059
No doubt.
00:40:01.219 --> 00:40:04.179
Well, that's gonna wrap it up for this episode of the Group Answers Show.
00:40:04.259 --> 00:40:05.859
Again, the book is Everyday Counts.
00:40:05.939 --> 00:40:14.659
And if you enjoyed this, you can find David Pollock about any time you want with a quick search on iTunes because David's the co-host of a couple of podcasts.
00:40:14.819 --> 00:40:20.739
One is family oriented, and one is just uh it's you and Pastor Jay just kind of talking about life, right?
00:40:20.980 --> 00:40:33.059
Yeah, it's family goals is uh me and Pastor Jay talking about helping families like make goals, create goals, you know, talk about uh attacking youth league sports and all the different things that are going on.
00:40:33.139 --> 00:40:34.739
And then the other one is seaball, get ball.
00:40:34.819 --> 00:40:35.539
You can see that behind me.
00:40:35.619 --> 00:40:36.500
That's just college football.
00:40:36.579 --> 00:40:38.179
If you like football, come on in.
00:40:38.259 --> 00:40:46.259
You're not gonna hear gambling, you're not gonna hear profanity, you're not gonna hear um any promotion of stuff that isn't uh what we believe in and what we align in.
00:40:46.419 --> 00:40:50.980
It's just college football, NFL football, a little bit, and just ball and fun.
00:40:51.699 --> 00:40:53.219
Well, thanks for being with us, David.
00:40:53.299 --> 00:40:55.619
You've got a lot going on, so appreciate your time.
00:40:55.859 --> 00:40:56.339
Absolutely.
00:40:56.419 --> 00:40:57.059
Thanks, brother.
00:40:57.299 --> 00:41:04.579
Also, shout out to producer Angie Elkins and engineer or executive producer Nikki Ogden, uh, without whom we could not do this.
00:41:04.739 --> 00:41:06.339
Thanks for hanging in there with us.
00:41:06.419 --> 00:41:10.339
It's gonna wrap it up for this episode, and we will see you on down the road.
00:41:13.059 --> 00:41:22.980
This episode of Group Answers Podcast was brought to you by our team, executive producer Angie Elkins, producer Nikki Ogden, edited by Donnie Gordon.
00:41:23.139 --> 00:41:29.539
All episodes are recorded at my personal studio in Evergreen, Colorado, with the help of Riverside FM.
00:41:29.779 --> 00:41:31.699
Artwork by Lauren Irving.
00:41:32.019 --> 00:41:33.939
And I'm your host, Brian Daniel.
00:41:34.019 --> 00:41:38.819
Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you next time on the Group Mansters Podcast.
