00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:01.760
Like my kids are just different.
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Like, I'm like, that's not what I was doing when I was great.
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Hello and welcome back to Carpal Confessions.
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I am Kelly Murray.
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And I'm Kate Shaw.
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Right now, school is starting.
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So as we're recording this, school is getting ready to start.
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So there's definitely a lot of conversation at the forefront of kids.
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Yes.
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And I can't help but notice that, and this makes me feel really old saying this because I mean, we were just talking about how our 20-year high school reunion will be next year.
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So this does make me feel really old.
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Yeah, that's crazy.
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Class of 007 here.
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Right.
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And I just feel like these kids are different.
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Like their environment is totally different than what we grew up in.
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I feel like every generation probably says that, but I just can't help but notice that there's some pretty significant changes for kids.
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I I mean, just looking at their school.
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And you know, I went we went to the same school, and my boys are getting ready to start high school.
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Yes.
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And just looking at some of the differences that they are experiencing today in that same exact school makes me a little concerned.
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I agree.
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It is a very different time.
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Um I kind of feel like we don't treat them as maturing children.
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Like, you know, I feel like we just still kind of box them into being little small children, the way we kind of ordered them around and whatnot.
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And uh it wasn't like that when we were kids.
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I've granted our parents, maybe not yours specifically, but just for that time, we you know, we were like the latchkey kids, or at least I was.
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Um, you know, I didn't have kids.
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It's really hard to compare anything to my childhood just because it was so chaotic, but you know, I could still see where it's different.
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Well, I mean, I'm talking more like the infrastructure in general, you know, because you know, as I'm just looking at the high school, and this is not to badmouth anything about how they're doing, because I'm sure they have their reasons.
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Yeah, and it's not specific to our school either.
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I'm sure this is happening more broadly.
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Let us know in the comments if this is something that you've watched happen in your community as well.
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But some things like small things, for example, whenever we went into high school, we could socialize in the hallways.
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You know, we could socialize in the hallways before class.
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Yeah, there was different.
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I feel like once you found your people, you always had a specific.
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Yeah.
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And now they don't do that.
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Now they make you go straight to your classroom.
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So now you have this like really more restricted pool of maybe your friends, maybe you're not.
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Right.
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And you have to go straight there.
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I think that's interesting.
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And I'm sure it's it's related to fights or trying to, you know, not having enough people to supervise, probably.
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Right.
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Um, but we were talking about that, and then lunch was I think I was a little triggered by lunch.
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I'm not gonna lie.
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Oh, really?
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What's going on with lunch?
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Well, because I really enjoyed the lunches at the high school.
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Yeah.
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You know what I'm saying?
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And so, like, I like finding out that they have just basically the same setup as elementary schools, where it's like you get one choice, you have one line, and that's what you get, what you get.
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And part of the beauty of high school was that you get to have like a potato bar or a salad bar option, maybe if you don't want whatever's on the main line, right?
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You know, and like we used to have like you could I feel like you could get pizza and stuff when we were in school.
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Yeah, I remember that.
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I I remember we have different options like an alternative type line, like okay, if you don't like what they have, then you could go make the decision to spend your money over here and get whatever, and then you know, your parents will probably be mad at you because you spent all the all the money, but like still it lets them kind of have the power of choice.
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Yeah, well, my daughter, she's been she's going into her third year of high school, she's a junior, and so yeah, I don't think she's ever really ate the food.
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We just packed lunches.
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And see, this is our boys' first year going to back public school.
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So they did go to public school K through third, and um, we actually pulled them out because of bullying and a lot of challenges at the public school.
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Um, we we put them in a private school for the remainder of their time through eighth grade, and so we're going back into the public school now, and so I'm getting to see this with us, you know, yeah.
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Are you having some anxiety about that?
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Switching from private to public or a little bit because I just well, I feel like our boys have been just really sheltered in a way, you know.
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There's still a lot of things that they've learned at the private school that they probably shouldn't, but but I do feel like they are experiencing a much broader um group of different types of people, different backgrounds, you know.
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Sure, well, and just the size of the classes because they were like only the two only two boys in their grade.
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So yeah, it was our it was my twins, and then two other boys in their class.
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That was like their entire class, all through um their private school experience.
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Yeah, it was a very small school, which was nice.
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Yeah, but I can I can get where that could be isolating in a way, just to not have the experience of being around people of different economic backgrounds, different religious backgrounds, obviously.
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I think a lot of people do continue to send their kids off to like you know, high school at maybe another private school or go to another town and yeah, we just don't have that option where we live.
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Right.
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And I mean, you know, we could obviously probably have made it work with me going to Columbia, but at the same time, I feel like kids need some exposure to the real world.
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Yeah, that's my opinion, at least.
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I think, you know, by this age, you know, we we have pretty much made whatever impact we can, and they need to start having some exposure to things that might question things that they've had thus far.
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Yeah, I don't think that's a part of life.
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Yeah, their thoughts, thoughts out, you know, expansion of mind, uh, being around different people and exactly navigating different challenges.
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Um, that's why I don't really like this whole they don't get to walk around in high school or whatever.
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Because yeah, of course, kids are gonna have arguments and stuff.
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Of course, we don't want any physical violence, but sometimes those challenges you have with your peers is what shapes you into adulthood to be able to navigate challenging people as an adult.
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You know, it's one thing I've had to talk to my kids a lot about is you're gonna have to be around people you don't always like and you're gonna have to work with them, and it's not I think we're kind of doing the kids a disservice by not allowing them like, yeah, sometimes they're gonna fall on their face, it's going to happen, but you know, we need that in order to build our skills, and uh I don't know, it is it has been different raising this generation.
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Um for me, I feel like I've had to steal parts of my kids' innocence in order to protect them.
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Um I don't know about your kids, but one big fear that my two girls, when we talk have conversations about school, is they really do have a fear of a school shooting.
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Yeah, that is a like you know, we practiced intruder drills and stuff like that when we were in school.
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Um, but this is a really real fear that they have grown up with, and when there has been some scares, uh, which there was a couple years ago, well, it's been more than a couple years, but um I remember talking to my kids and they were just telling me about things that would make them feel safer that is not at the school, and and they were just really simple things, um, like having doors that lock and things like that.
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But that's a really big fear, and we didn't have that.
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Yeah, I was definitely less.
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Of course, I mean, at I feel like when you're a teenager, you have a lot less fears in general normally, but this generation is not the way that's not the way that's not they're not like that at all.
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There's like when I was a teenager, I felt like I was invincible, you know.
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It was just kind of like nothing bad's gonna happen because you know, I don't know, that's just the mentality I had as a kid, I guess.
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But yeah, um, but yeah, there's been so many things that have changed and have have happened to make this generation of kids just extremely anxious.
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And I mean, even this morning, my boys were just incredibly anxious going into school, you know, it's like something new, something different, you know.
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And I was actually really proud of my uh one of my twins for being like really on top of things.
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That's my one that's usually kind of like chaos, and he was extremely on point this morning.
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I was so proud of him.
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I was like, you dude, you're like on it this morning.
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You're ready for high school.
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But the big thing that I've been trying to talk to them about is like, okay, who do you want to be in high school?
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Now, of course, they're 14-year-old boys, so they want they just want to joke about it, like they're not serious about it.
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But it I keep asking, like, who do you want to show up as?
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Like, this is your chance to show up as something different than what you've shown up so far, you know, decide that.
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And then when you're figuring out who you want to be around and the people that you want to hang out with, hang out with the people that you want to be like.
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I know we've said that on this podcast so many times, but find people that have traits that you want to be more like, and find those people and be their friends because that's that's going to help keep you away from some of the people that could drag you down.
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I mean, we've they've not been around drugs, they've not been around, you know, things like that.
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And that's that's at that's at the high school.
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There's no doubt that that is something that's happening, and they're gonna have to they're gonna have to navigate that.
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I would also say that the social media era has changed our kids as well.
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Because when we were running around in high school doing stuff, we didn't have to worry about people taking our picture and sharing it on the interwebs.
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You know, maybe people would take our picture, but there's like very little on the internet about like from our era.
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I feel like these kids have a real fear of being perceived, and um I have also I've quit posting so many pictures of them on the internet because you know, we didn't realize how extreme this stuff was gonna be, like when my oldest was born.
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And uh now that I think about it, like she's literally had her whole life on the internet because you know you right, you share it, and uh yeah, these kids pick on each other for everything, like they can't have their like having your toes show is embarrassing, so that's why that's why you see kids wearing socks with sandals again.
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Yes, I need to I I have some questions by the way about the current style because I I'm not joking, and I really hope my boys don't watch this because they're gonna be so mad at me.
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But my boys bought new shoes for school, and I kid you not, they are the grandpaest looking shoes I've ever seen.
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No, that's what they get.
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My oldest daughter got new balances too.
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Like, are you serious?
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Because when they picked them up and they brought them to me, I was like, we're going to high school and we're wearing the same shoes that your grandpa literally has in the entryway of his hell.
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No, that's what Chloe got too.
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And uh, it was funny because her dad, he was the one that ordered them.
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There's newer ones that are kind of more modern, I guess you could say, but she wanted the classic grandpa new balance, and honestly, she looked very cute in them.
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I mean it's so funny because my twins are just so like they do not want to be noticed, they literally want to wear black, white, gray, like there's nothing fancy.
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Yeah, they got and and also back when we were in school, like it was no show socks, you know, like but they would rather just like fashion was a big deal where I'd like I know it is with these kids, but it's not like my kids are very comfortable wearing like sweats to school, and I would have never done that ever.
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No, I have my low rise bell bottom right, like gaucho pants, sparkly sequin purses.
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I was in the double the double layered um polos pop in my collar.
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Yeah, yeah, I think definitely a guilty.
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Yeah, but I was also very gothic in school, so I had a black hair where we could insert a picture.
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Yeah, yeah, I know it's really hard for people that know haven't known me for a long time now.
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People who've known me forever, it makes perfect sense to them.
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But yeah, anybody new, they're like, really?
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Yeah, yeah, I was.
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I had you know the bracelet, yeah.
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No, let's talk about the bracelet thing.
00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:42.879
Oh, yeah, the barbed wire.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Those are back again, too, aren't they?
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Yes, they are.
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That works.
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Um, yeah, it's just so crazy how different things are.
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Fashion.
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Fashion, fashion's a huge one.
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I mean, but I do feel like some of it's come back.
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Oh, yeah, for sure.
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Yeah, a lot of the stuff that my girls like.
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I'm like, I had that when I was in elementary school, where that was popular.
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Yeah.
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Because my daughter was, she ordered some pants in their low rise, and you could not pay me to ever wear low rise anything.
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Girl, if I wore a low rise right now, it would be the biggest muffin top you ever saw in your life.
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It would be bad, it would be tragic.
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After a C-section, low rise pants are no longer in the wardrobe.
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At least not for me.
00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:30.399
I didn't end up the same after the twins.
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Yeah, I've actually learned that that's not very flattering for even my body type.
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So I'm not a high-waisted person for life.
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Like, I mean this skirt's probably not high-waisted, but I wear it high-waisted.
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I mean, that's I feel that you know it it took me a really long time to actually get away from the really tight pants.
00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:54.399
Like, oh yeah, the skinny jeans.
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I was wearing skinny jeans until somebody showed me oh my gosh, somebody, I think it was my twins, showed me a picture of Gru.
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You remember Groove?
00:15:02.720 --> 00:15:02.799
Right?
00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:03.039
Yeah.
00:15:03.600 --> 00:15:05.039
From um Despicable Me.
00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:12.639
Yes, and he's got like these tiny little legs, and then you know, a big body, and they're like, This is what skinny jeans look like.
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And I'm like, No, that's funny.
00:15:14.320 --> 00:15:19.360
So in the fall, when the skinny jeans and the vest come out, they call that Han Solo season.
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Are you serious?
00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:22.879
Yeah, where you wear the skinny jeans with the knee high boobs, yeah.
00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:23.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:25.120
Is that still a thing?
00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:27.120
Yeah, it's still Han Solo season.
00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:30.399
Yeah, well, I'm kind of relieved about that because I actually really like that season.
00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:32.000
I still have my knee high boobs.
00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:33.200
Yeah, I like it too.
00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:35.679
It's just so funny that it's called Han Solo season.
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:36.399
That is funny.
00:15:36.559 --> 00:15:39.200
Um, yeah, I didn't get rid of all my skinny jeans.
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:44.480
Like there's still outfits, but for the most part, I have I'm still at high-waisted though.
00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:45.840
I can't do the low rise.
00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:54.399
Like, I have trauma from wearing songs with low rise and having people like pull your underwear up.
00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:55.039
Yeah.
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Because it was always hanging out.
00:15:56.799 --> 00:15:58.799
That was kind of like the style to have it hang out.
00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:10.159
Yeah, I can't remember what my what my boys called it, but they called they had some name for it whenever your underwear is like showing out of the back of your pants, and I'll have to think about it.
00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:12.080
Yeah, they had some like term for it.
00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:17.519
But that was like commonplace in the 2000s with those low rise.
00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:20.960
You can't hardly there's no yeah, there's no hiding it.
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:23.440
You're barely it's barely over your butt crack.
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:29.840
So well, and then they had the the thongs instead of a triangle, it would be different shapes, or it'd have like messages on it.
00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:36.879
Well, I mean I guess that was good marketing back then for those companies, but yeah, there was remember I had a pair that had like a smiley face on it.
00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:37.919
Oh my gosh.
00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:38.720
Yeah, so yeah.
00:16:42.080 --> 00:17:03.759
I'm glad that I had boys because honestly, like oh yeah, I just I think God, oh I know God knew what he was doing, giving me boys because well, who you know, my girls are really not super girly, like people will ask me, like, like I bet they rate your closet all the time and all that, and they really don't.
00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:08.160
Like this generation, they're not really about dressing up like how I do.
00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:14.640
Um, yeah, most of the time, like I said, they'd wear like sweatpants and hoodies, yeah.
00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:19.519
And like sometimes they'll be dresssier, but not very often.
00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:21.920
Yeah, they don't want to feel like on the spot.
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:28.319
Now, I do remember in middle school, I remember if I wanted to wear a skirt, I would ask a friend, like, hey, will you wear a skirt with me tomorrow?
00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:30.000
I'm like, I don't want to be the only one wearing the skirt.
00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:30.559
Oh, yeah.
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:31.119
You remember that?
00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:33.839
Yeah, I do, yeah, I do actually.
00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:37.200
And I was not a skirt person, I'm still not a skirt person.
00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:39.519
I tried to buy a skirt at Academy Sports yesterday.
00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:40.079
Did you?
00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:42.559
And I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, nah.
00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:45.039
It wasn't even skirt, it was skirt.
00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:55.519
I love skorts, I do too, but they this did not like I feel like you have to have a backside to wear a skirt almost, and I just don't, so I'm just it's this sounds like imposter syndrome to me.
00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:02.799
Yes, check out the imposter syndrome episode that's airing today, yeah, while we're recording this.
00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:07.599
It's not really today, but it's while we're recording this today, so yeah.
00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:11.599
Um I just there were so many differences about course.
00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:23.119
I grew up in the country, and so I do feel like I had a little different experience, but just thinking about using landline phones, right?
00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:25.680
You know, and like our CD.
00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:35.279
Or like think when we were first driving, like we had like these cases full of CDs, and somebody would have to like help you change your music.
00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:45.839
I just got rid of my like case of yeah, my case of CDs that I had for oh my gosh, I remember yeah, I remember having like a five-disc CD player in my car.
00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:48.640
I knew they don't have CD players anymore.
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:49.359
No, they didn't.
00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:52.400
It's like really impossible to find a CD player anymore, actually.
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:55.519
It's apparently that's that thing of the pattern now.
00:18:56.000 --> 00:19:15.519
I remember when I was like little, so this would be like before we even met, um I would record over my dad's cassette tapes, and how I would do that is I would take a piece of paper and shove it up in there, and I would wait for the hot five at nine on Y107, and I would be recording music.
00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:16.799
Oh, that is cool.
00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:24.559
I actually, so the first time, actually, the only time I ever went to the principal's office as a kid was because oh my gosh, it's so bad.
00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:40.000
So I was in first grade in Miss Marty's class, and we would have this like period of time when kids would go sit around this table and they'd all put their headphones in and they'd listen to like a book on tape or something like that.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:40.799
Yeah.
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:47.279
Well, I realized that there was a record button on the tape player.
00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:48.000
Oh no.
00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:59.839
And apparently there was no safeguards at the time against recording over said book because I realized that you could, you know, make our own.
00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:00.799
We could make our own book.
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:01.119
Yeah.
00:20:01.440 --> 00:20:13.279
So I was the instigator, I will admit it, but we were saying cuss words onto the book, but but but like first grade cuss words, guys.
00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:17.839
Okay, this is not like 2026 kids cuss words because I know those kids be throwing F-bombs now.
00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:19.839
That is not how we were, okay.
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:38.880
We were like saying but and fart yeah, and booty and boobies, you know, that's all we were saying, but yeah, we got in trouble because apparently the next group of kids that went to go listen to on tape ended up getting more than they were bargaining for.
00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:40.480
So that is so funny.
00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:43.839
Yeah, we uh took down the whole first grade reading class.
00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:46.000
I don't think I ever got in trouble for anything.
00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:48.880
I but you know, that was a crazy time of my life.
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:53.839
I was intentionally trying not to be singled out for any reason.
00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:57.599
That's true, so I was very quiet, I was painfully shy.
00:20:57.759 --> 00:21:01.200
Actually, this is kind of embarrassing, but it's fine.
00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:02.240
Here's a confession.
00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:04.000
Oh my gosh, I always love this.
00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:04.960
This was high school.
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:13.759
The first time I like hung out with a boy alone, we we did not do anything, like we're just in a room alone, and we were like kind of like canoodling or whatever.
00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:14.559
Canoodling?
00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:15.440
Yeah, canoodling.
00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:16.880
I guess.
00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:17.519
I don't know.
00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:31.680
But it was not it was not like sexual, it was canoodling, like I don't know, but um, it made me so nervous that when I went home, I broke out in hives and my mom my mom had to take me to the hospital to get an epinephrine shock.
00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:35.599
Oh my gosh, yeah, my anxiety was that bad then.
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:36.880
Oh my gosh.
00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:47.200
Well, okay, like you've not had the best experience with men and yeah, yeah, general, but yeah, I like literally broke out head to toe.
00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:48.559
Like my lips were this huge.
00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:50.400
My mom's like, what is going on?
00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:53.759
Of course, I wasn't gonna tell my mom I was like alone with a boy in a room.
00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:54.319
Right.
00:21:54.480 --> 00:21:55.200
Like, I don't know.
00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:57.119
I just something got stunned by a bee.
00:21:57.359 --> 00:21:58.880
Yeah, I got stubborn by a beach.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.359
But I sure did.
00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:02.960
I sure did.
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:04.880
I will never forget it either.
00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:06.720
That is something else.
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:15.359
Yeah, I mean, I just kind of shudder at the things that like my my mom was a retired, well, she's now a retired school principal.
00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:34.640
So she was like, you know, you would think she would be one the more like strict of people when it comes to parenting, but I think she was just very naive because I I would just like I was dating kids that were like 17 when I was 14.
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:35.839
That's my boys' age.
00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:36.960
And I'm like, Yeah, that's crazy.
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:44.559
They're literally letting me go like right around to Columbia with this kid that's 17 years old.
00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:45.599
Like, what?
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:50.240
Like, would you let your 14-year-old girl go with the 17-year-old boy?
00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:50.880
No.
00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:55.119
I mean, I'm like, that's I don't even know.
00:22:55.440 --> 00:23:06.720
My kid has not started dating yet, so um that's something I've really put into my daughter's head since the time they were little, which I don't think a lot of our parents had those conversations with us.
00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:16.319
But you know, like a boy or relationship is never gonna be like a big thing for my kids because you're not giving up your life for a person.
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:26.960
So we've had lots of talks about, you know, but you know, you get to that point, you can absolutely say no, you don't have to feel pressured.
00:23:27.279 --> 00:23:33.359
Just all of those things we were not taught when navigating the yeah, you know, teenage dating.
00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:36.160
My boys are not even interested.
00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:38.640
Yeah, my kids are not are not interested either.
00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:39.839
Maybe that's just a difference.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:51.200
I think I was very boy crazy as a junior high, high school age kid, and they're you know, not interested in what of course they're very interested in business.
00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:54.640
They just want to do they just want to do business, they just want to make money.
00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:56.240
Like that's just how they are.
00:23:56.799 --> 00:23:58.079
Focusing on that, yeah.
00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:09.920
And like I'm like, okay, guys, if you can just like keep that mentality and not let girls derail you, that would probably be wise, but that's a part of growing up, you know, getting to have a girlfriend.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:12.559
And of course they okay, let's back up.
00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:17.359
They had a girlfriend when they were in fourth grade or something like that, fourth or fifth grade, yeah.
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:20.720
And kids, let's just we're on this discussion about how kids are different now.
00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:40.160
Well, kids get cell phones earlier, and let me tell you the dating at fourth grade and fifth grade is a totally different experience now that kids have phones because I dated somebody whenever I was in fourth or fifth grade, and I don't even know if we even talk to each other.
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:52.720
I do know that I wrote his name all over the playground, but that's the only thing that makes me all these things make me sound like I was a real rebel as a kid, but I'm just saying, like, I don't like we didn't talk, okay.
00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:59.440
We were dating if you were, you know, right boyfriend, girlfriend, but I don't think we talked, I don't think we ever held hands.
00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:13.839
These kids literally, it was like day one of them dating, and the girl is like texting, like I'm talking like for every one text that my son would send, this girl would send like 20.
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:17.200
And it would, she'd be like, Should we tell each other we love each other now?
00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:22.160
And my son's like, um, you do you, but you know, yeah.
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:36.880
Speaking of the phones though, too, that is a big difference between our generations, and uh these kids will feel slighted if like their message gets read and they're left undelivered or and things like that.
00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:40.079
Like they they're like hypersensitive to all these.
00:25:40.319 --> 00:25:43.440
Well, it's like everything has to be like immediate, yeah.
00:25:43.839 --> 00:25:52.799
Like it's like a different expectation for for timing and for response time and for I don't know, there's just it's definitely it is different.
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:58.720
It's technology has definitely changed a lot about kids, I think.
00:25:58.960 --> 00:25:59.759
Yeah, I agree.
00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:05.680
And I was a little shook that when I asked, okay, like what kind of supplies do I need to get for you know high school?
00:26:05.759 --> 00:26:14.960
They were like, oh, and when I say they, I mean like the office by the gas office at the open house, and like, oh, just bring a pencil and a notebook, and everything's on the Chromebooks now.
00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:17.039
And I'm like, I hate it.
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:18.400
My gosh, I hate it.
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:19.519
Are you serious?
00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:23.200
Like, we don't have like pencils and paper, people aren't writing anything.
00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:26.319
Like, no, no, my kids never learn cursive.
00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:30.400
See, ours did because they prior to school, yeah.
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:34.160
But I'm like, oh my gosh, it's crazy.
00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:36.240
Everything's on the Chromebook.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:38.240
Like, this makes me sound old, but I don't know.
00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:41.920
I don't some people love reading on like a Kindle or whatever.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:44.480
I do not, I feel like my brain will not absorb it.
00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:47.200
I want to hold and smell the pages.
00:26:47.440 --> 00:27:01.759
Well, and I'm sorry, but like staring at a computer screen for your entire career, it's like, can you not just have like a few years of some tangible reading before you start staring at a computer screen your whole life?
00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:03.119
No, it started with the computer.
00:27:03.279 --> 00:27:07.279
I mean, I'm like, this can't be good for like your vision and for like I don't know.
00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:08.480
I just I'm like thinking too much.
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:11.599
Well, there's a real literacy crisis happening right now.
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:30.640
I actually saw a teacher talking very in-depth about it, but she you know concluded that part of that literacy crisis is you know, they they don't have books anymore, they're not writing on worksheets, they're not they're not learning to spell, it's about memorization and just being able to recall it.
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:34.480
And that's not the same being memorizing stuff is not the same thing as learning.
00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:47.599
It's not that is one thing that I am very grateful for having sent the kids to private school and being having the ability to do that because it is a different, a totally different experience.
00:27:47.839 --> 00:27:54.480
And I mean, there's a reason why, and this has been years like this was like this almost all of our valedictorians were from St.
00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:55.119
Bernard's.
00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:57.200
Yeah, like because I was surprised.
00:27:57.440 --> 00:28:10.240
Well, because the school, it's just like they come into high school and they're like two years ahead of everybody on everything on curriculum, basically, and so um that makes a huge difference.
00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:42.400
And now we have another private school in our town, and that's you know, Brady goes to that one, and it's a lot smaller as well, and it's a totally different curriculum as well, so much so that whenever we um sent him to summer school, he did not understand any of the math because of the way they were teaching it, because it was like the common core or whatever, and they don't learn it that way at the private school, they learn, I guess, the old school way, the traditional way we learn or something.
00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:42.960
I don't know.
00:28:43.039 --> 00:28:46.640
But anyway, so yeah, he was like, math is my favorite subject.
00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:49.920
Why can I not understand math at the public school?
00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:53.920
And I'm like, uh, it didn't even dawn on me, but I'm pretty sure they teach it differently.
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:57.119
So yeah, yeah, so that's a whole nother thing, too.
00:28:57.279 --> 00:29:00.000
I mean, the math disconnect.
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:11.920
We the boy, Jake and Cody took algebra one in eighth grade at their school, and they passed they got A's and B's in their math class.
00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:22.000
But whenever it came time to um sign up for high school, they had to take a placement test to get to figure out what math they would get into.
00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:38.240
And one of them tested into algebra one, and one of them tested into uh like below algebra one, and when we did their cogat or whatever testing, their Iowa basic testing or whatever, they both were testing in collegiate level math, huh?
00:29:38.400 --> 00:29:42.720
So like it was just really bizarre that that's where it fell.
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:49.119
And so I had to like fight to get Jake into Algebra One because I'm like, he just took it last year, he's not gonna go backwards, right?
00:29:49.279 --> 00:29:52.079
You know, like we're gonna at least take algebra one again.
00:29:52.160 --> 00:29:54.240
Like, we could do that, that's fine, you know.
00:29:54.319 --> 00:30:01.759
But still, I just it's interesting the disconnects between you know, private school, public school, right, and how that changes.
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:07.200
I mean, not something I would have thought well, and a lot more parents are homeschooling these days.
00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:08.400
They really hard.
00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:10.799
I mean, yeah, I actually homeschooled my girls for a year.
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:11.359
Really?
00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:12.319
Yeah, I did.
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:14.319
I could not do that.
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:17.039
I would probably be the worst teacher ever.
00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:34.559
Yeah, and it's uh I'm actually really glad that I I did that because I got to see where like the breakdown started to happen and they're learning, and so I was able to help them work through that, and it's made me better at communicating with their teacher what their needs are and how they learn.
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:37.680
Now, has that always been received?
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:42.079
No, but you know, yeah, at least I know how to help my child, I guess.
00:30:42.319 --> 00:30:51.599
No, that's such a good thing because I'm telling you, like, especially maybe it's because I have twins, but they are very like self, they take care of their stuff.
00:30:51.680 --> 00:30:55.519
Like, I never I rarely have to help them with any any homework.
00:30:56.799 --> 00:31:02.480
And if I do, it's like I feel like I'm like, did I even go to school?
00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:04.160
Like, you know what I'm saying?
00:31:04.319 --> 00:31:23.279
Yeah, like I feel really stupid, especially when it comes to math, but thank God for Chat GPT because it's extremely handy for checking, like and explaining what I'll do is I'll say, Okay, take a picture of their homework, and I'll be like, Hey, chat GPT, explain this to me like a 10-year-old, because I do not understand this.
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:26.480
It's very gracious and kind to explain it to me.
00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:32.880
So that's how I got through helping them when they had mono and missed like two months of school.
00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:39.039
Um, so I think that's a part of why they ended up getting behind in maths because of being out so much.
00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:40.160
Yeah, they'll do it.
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:41.279
Yeah, yeah, it's harder.
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:42.880
Yeah, I don't know.
00:31:43.039 --> 00:31:46.799
It's just raising kids is not easy.
00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:57.200
And even like the whole social media thing, like my boys just got Instagram, just got it.
00:31:57.359 --> 00:32:09.440
We had this agreement from the time that they were little that if they waited until they were 16 to get social media, that my husband and I would give them a chunk of money towards a vehicle or whatever.
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:14.480
And they both were like really good about it until now.
00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:17.759
Now they're like, Mom, can we get Instagram?
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:20.079
Because we can't sell our cards if we don't have Instagram.
00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:23.119
Like, we need this, like we have to we have to be able to do business.
00:32:23.200 --> 00:32:26.880
We're gonna make back the money we're gonna lose so fast that we need Instagram.
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:30.880
Like, I respect your business sense, but you're still gonna lose.
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:32.400
So we took some of the money out, you know.
00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:33.839
Obviously, they're gonna get.
00:32:34.319 --> 00:32:40.480
And the first thing they did was they didn't set up just one account, they set up two accounts on Instagram.
00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:41.759
I mean, I'm like, why?
00:32:41.920 --> 00:32:45.279
That's what these kids do, they have a main account and then they have their dummy account.
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:47.039
I'm like, what are you doing?
00:32:47.279 --> 00:32:51.119
Well, one of them for them is a business account, and one of them is a personal account.
00:32:51.200 --> 00:33:12.000
Yep, so they immediately went out and they reached out to these businesses and asked if they could be affiliate partners for these e-bikes that go really super fast, and they went out and we got a significant discount on these bikes so that they they think they're gonna sell 10 of them so they can get their money back and they get some sort of percentage off of every sale they get.
00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:14.480
And I'm like, this is what you all do.
00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:19.119
You get Instagram and you're going out and you're trying to make affiliate deals as soon as you go.
00:33:19.359 --> 00:33:21.200
I feel like my kids are just different.
00:33:21.359 --> 00:33:26.720
Like, I'm like, that's not what I was doing when I was your age, like at all, at all, at all.
00:33:27.039 --> 00:33:30.160
No, I mean there's definitely more resources available.
00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:40.720
I mean, there's kids in Chloe's grade too that like yesterday I took her to get her nails done, had a girl that's in a grade above her, and they're amazing and she does nails.
00:33:41.039 --> 00:33:41.839
That's awesome.
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:46.240
And there's another girl that is a makeup artist.
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:47.599
Let's and they're hustling.
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:49.920
Let's talk about how kids can level up right now.
00:33:50.240 --> 00:33:58.559
Because if you have a kid that's cute naturally curious, like our my kids are naturally curious kids and they want to like Google everything now, they can chat GPT everything.
00:33:58.799 --> 00:34:07.680
Like the stuff that I was just looking at my at one of my 14-year-olds yesterday, and he is like so capable of like fixing anything.
00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:08.320
Yeah.
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:11.199
And I think, oh my gosh, he's gonna be a great husband someday.
00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:27.119
Like, that's like that's such a good quality, but it's because he's literally leveraging this massive uh resource of information of the internet to just get answers to any particular question that he has, which can also be kind of scary as well.
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:29.280
Yeah, can be a good thing, can be bad thing.
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:35.679
Yeah, not all information you find on the internet is accurate, or good, or yeah, yeah, or moral.
00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:41.599
Yeah, that's I mean, I don't know, but they're gonna be okay.
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:47.599
I know that they're gonna be okay, but it's definitely different, it's definitely changed.
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:50.320
Their childhood looks a lot different than ours did.
00:34:50.559 --> 00:34:50.800
Yeah.
00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:57.599
And some of their childhood's better than ours, too, you know, as far as some of the resources they have available now.
00:34:57.920 --> 00:35:03.280
I think parents are a lot more attentive and attuned to their children compared to prior generations.
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:13.519
Like when my kids were in elementary school and we had, you know, Valentine's parties, Halloween parties, there would be parents lined up out the door down the dang road.
00:35:14.079 --> 00:35:20.639
You know, that was not the case when we were always like the same fleck few parents that would come very smoking and stuff.
00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:22.000
But now that's not the case.
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:23.199
That is so true.
00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:25.920
There's so much more parent involvement in things.
00:35:26.639 --> 00:35:27.840
That is a huge change.
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:29.199
And I think that's a really good thing.
00:35:29.360 --> 00:35:33.440
I think the millennial generation, you know, overcompensate for what we did.
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:34.960
Overcompensate a little bit.
00:35:35.119 --> 00:35:49.760
I mean, I will say, like, my my mom was definitely very, very present at a lot of things, but yeah, because of school, you know, there was some restrictions since she worked at a different school than I went to, you know.
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:51.760
But yeah, not everybody had that.
00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:56.639
And I do remember those class parties being extremely um thin.
00:35:56.880 --> 00:35:57.199
Yeah.
00:35:57.679 --> 00:36:00.880
There there just isn't a lot of there's a lot more parents now.
00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:02.320
A lot more parents.
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:06.639
It's in it's kind of insane how many parents show up in a good way, of course.
00:36:06.880 --> 00:36:07.760
It is good.
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.239
And um, yeah, I mean we could talk about this all day.
00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:24.639
I I had I mean, I have so many great memories of of just different things that we did, and hopefully our kids will get to experience at least some of those, some maybe different version of those things in the as they're going into high school.
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:29.679
But yeah, I mean we're here at work, so we're gonna have to catch you next time.
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:30.639
Peace.
00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:31.599
Bye.