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Language: en
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What's up, fam? Welcome to another
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episode of Breaking Impossibilities.
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Man, we've been on fire lately. And
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check this out. We got another special
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guest just for you. We are going to be
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going through a whole lot of deaths of
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overcoming adversity, breaking those
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impossibilities, drug addiction, jail
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institutions, the streets, whatever it
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is, man. This has helped you to get out
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of the rut, man. And we got one of the
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most
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fabulous, right? We got a town legend,
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man. And I appreciate you for coming on,
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man. We got Ump,
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>> man. I appreciate you um sharing your
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platform with me.
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>> Yeah. to um for us to dig in and dive in
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something that's that that means so much
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to both of us,
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>> you know, and I really admire, you know,
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you um putting yourself out there to the
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public about some of the things that
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you've been through for impactful
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reasons, not to to to to, you know, to
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show out or show off, but to say, "Hey,
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man, I this is what I've been through,
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and there's some people out there that
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need to hear my story so they can um
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believe in their self enough to, you
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know, do the things that they need to do
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for theirelves to be able to um get
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their lives back on track as well.
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>> Yeah, man. Absolutely, man. And that's
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what breaking impossibilities is all
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about.
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>> Definitely.
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>> You know what I'm saying? We use real
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life stories to help people grow and
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break those impossibilities. You know
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what I mean? I come from a long history,
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family history of drug addicts.
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>> Drug ass. Yeah, I understand. I
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understand that feeling, man. Um just
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you know I used to um wake up in my
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mother house right as a kid maybe 8 n
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years old and um I can remember vividly
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um finding syringes in the house right
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and ask my mother like you know when I
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find it what's this and she would always
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blame it on my uncle you get what I'm
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saying and he had something to do with
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it as well but she never took personal
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responsibility to be able to say um yeah
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>> I have drug problem, son. And these
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things that you need to stay away from
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when you get older. Her lacking to take
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responsibility um for that may have
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>> caused a disruption.
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>> Yeah. A disruption. You know what I
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mean? Later on, for sure when I realized
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what was going on and and found out
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like, damn, my mama get high too.
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>> Yeah.
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>> You get what I'm saying? So, you know, I
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understand the importance of being
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honest with whatever it is you going
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through from that. Sometime our hurt
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ain't really hurt. It's just hurting in
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that moment. But it's also teaches us
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something that we need to know about
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life later.
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>> Hey, for real. For real, man. And oh
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man, the reason why I was laughing, man,
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was because of relation
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>> relation
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>> to exactly what you was talking about.
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>> Most definitely.
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>> I mean, same thing, bro. Finding the
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syringes, but I was so a fool with it.
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>> Yeah.
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>> I would take the syringes and I would
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squirt all that [ __ ] out.
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>> Yeah. Yeah.
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>> Squirt it out. Right.
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>> And then my mama wouldn't say nothing,
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but when I did ask, she would always
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blame it on my uncle.
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>> You see what I'm saying? Crazy some
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crazy stuff.
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And And what's so impactful about it is
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that the things that I had to go through
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to endure and the things that I had to
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witness. You know what I'm saying? Like
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I was just telling somebody on the pod
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too, man. It's just like, you know what
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I mean? My mama wasn't a bad mom, you
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know, but she might have looked like a
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bad person to society, but we was never
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in the system. Yeah. She made some bad
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choices,
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>> man. I agree to that. I'm thankful of
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that.
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>> But, you know what I mean? I never I
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don't know what foster care or group
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homes or none of that [ __ ] look like.
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You know what I'm saying? You know what
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I mean? I know what the streets look
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like. I know how cold it is. I know what
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the concrete feel like. I know what it
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is to feel hungry and all of that stuff.
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You know what I mean? And and I just
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could super relate to that, man, because
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that really caused a disruption for me.
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>> Can I share something that's that's
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extremely painful now today as an adult,
00:04:03.519 --> 00:04:05.429
right? Um,
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>> what's up, family? We know content is
00:04:06.959 --> 00:04:09.190
currency. And with Kraken Media, the
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number one Bay Area video marketing
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agency that creates high impact videos,
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ads, and clips that drive attention and
00:04:17.359 --> 00:04:20.069
result and creates real business
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attention. They have nationwide
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services. All you have to do is DM
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Kraken Media and let them know Breaking
00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:27.590
Possibility sent you to get the best
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deal possible.
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>> I work with kids, inner city kids at the
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most high risk, you know, I mean, the
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gunners we'll say, you know what I mean?
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And um and then I also work with some
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that's just
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bad because of the situation that
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they're being raised in. And to deal
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with the parents um firsthand um and
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seeing what their kids are going through
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based on what the parent is going
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through and how it trickles down. It's
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hurtful because um because I know this
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kid is going through it behind what the
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parent is going through and they're
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judging the parent not for what they
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going through but for what they lack.
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>> And what they not understanding is that
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man, you know, um just because I'm grown
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don't mean I'm grown. And just because I
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had you don't mean I'm in a position to
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take care of you financially, mentally,
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emotionally, spiritually. And to
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understand that these kids might be
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being neglected by accident. And then
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you try to come in and you try to fill
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those voids because you know what those
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voids kind of look like based on the
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voids that you had. Um, understanding
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that now from a a parents point of view
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as far as being a parent and also
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working with kids and trying to help the
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parent understand that
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we didn't
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you're right. We when you said that, it
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made me look at it like you're right,
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man. I I I may have been hurt, but I
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didn't go through certain hurts.
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>> But are we right for measuring hurt?
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Because hurt is hurt.
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>> Mhm.
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>> And no matter if you go to a group home
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or if you stay in a [ __ ] up home,
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excuse my language,
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>> no, you good.
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>> You still going through something.
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>> Yeah. And some of these kids are being
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blessed with having the opportunity to
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go to group homes to be around other
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individuals that can teach them
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something different about life other
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than what they're learning from parents
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that hasn't have the opportunity to
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learn something different about life to
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teach them something different about
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life.
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>> So you know what I'm saying? So some in
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some cases group homes is not good for a
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kid but in some case cases it is because
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it gives you the opportunity to get away
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from the things that's hurting you even
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though you going to be hurt that you
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missing them but it also gives you the
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opportunity to learn life differently.
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And you know, I I think that the
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experience with the group homes and
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stuff like that range on a huge scale of
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being extremely bad to worse,
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>> right?
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>> And and it could be just from someone no
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longer being in position to take care of
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you.
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>> For sure. For sure. 100%. And that's
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where it's like you measuring the worst.
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What's worse? Oh, I'm going to be at
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home with my parents. No, a nobody to be
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to be absolute nobody. But then I go to
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this group home and
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>> you know I've heard a lot of stories
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people go to group homes they get raped
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they get bullied they all these
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different things you know and it's just
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like but
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>> what I think the issue is if my opinion
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and I love the controversial
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I love I've been getting real
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controversial on here
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>> is I think the wrong people
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>> are running group homes
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>> are running the group homes.
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>> You want me to tell you why? Because you
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got people running group homes that
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don't come from what that looks like for
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the kids.
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>> Controversy.
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>> So you got people who's running a
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business
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>> Yeah.
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>> and not a home.
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>> They see numbers, not people.
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>> You get what I'm saying?
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>> Yeah. For sure.
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>> So So it takes somebody It takes for
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somebody who's been through what that
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kid going through to care enough to put
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that kid in an environment that they can
00:08:04.319 --> 00:08:06.469
be successful in.
00:08:06.479 --> 00:08:08.150
>> You get what I'm saying? You can't you
00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:09.830
can't take you can't send a kid to a
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group to to a person who only wants to
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see that kid as a denomination.
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>> Come on now.
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>> You get what I'm saying? And expect that
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kid to be okay.
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>> And I I think what I think what's
00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:21.830
important is that the
00:08:21.840 --> 00:08:24.710
>> the group homes, you know, I think
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they're getting a little better now cuz
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I I work in the community. I work, you
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know, with kids and I work with adults.
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I work with everybody, right? And uh I I
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think what I've been seeing a lot more
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is there's a lot more programs with
00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:39.829
inside the program. Meaning, but like
00:08:39.839 --> 00:08:41.670
for instance, right, say me and you
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start a start get a group home going,
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>> it's going it's going to be a lot
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different than others.
00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:49.269
>> One, it's going to look a lot different.
00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:51.829
Two, we going to put a lot of things in
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place for entrepreneurship.
00:08:54.160 --> 00:08:54.630
>> Yeah.
00:08:54.640 --> 00:08:58.470
>> Uh uh uh uh uh trades. You big heavy on
00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:00.389
you, man. And I see you was posting real
00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:02.230
early about the bid for the long shore,
00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:03.269
man. Hey, get on this.
00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:06.070
>> I got 25 people I got 25 people that hit
00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:07.350
me that said,
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>> thank you.
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>> I'm only on this list
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>> because of how much you pushed it, not
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:14.470
because I cared about it until I said
00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:15.829
how much you cared about it.
00:09:15.839 --> 00:09:16.790
>> Yeah. You see what I'm saying?
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>> You get what I'm saying? And that's just
00:09:18.160 --> 00:09:20.230
knowing that's just that's just me
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:21.829
saying, "Man,
00:09:21.839 --> 00:09:24.870
>> I'm per personally I'm too old for
00:09:24.880 --> 00:09:25.590
this."
00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:26.790
>> But that's something I wanted to do,
00:09:26.800 --> 00:09:27.910
though. But that's something I would
00:09:27.920 --> 00:09:28.790
have loved to do.
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>> Come on.
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>> I see people I see this where people got
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:34.710
boats, big cars, big houses. So some of
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these youngsters that I that that that
00:09:36.160 --> 00:09:39.190
that I care so much about, I want you to
00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:40.790
jump on this opportunity because this
00:09:40.800 --> 00:09:42.790
opportunity can change your life. It can
00:09:42.800 --> 00:09:44.870
take you out the streets. It can give
00:09:44.880 --> 00:09:46.630
you more than these streets can give you
00:09:46.640 --> 00:09:48.710
if you just sign up. I ain't asking you
00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:49.590
to do nothing else.
00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:50.710
>> You don't even have to care about it
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:51.110
right now.
00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:52.790
>> I ain't cuz And it ain't nothing to care
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about right now cuz it's going to take
00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:55.750
you one to five years to get there.
00:09:55.760 --> 00:09:56.630
>> Yeah. Exactly.
00:09:56.640 --> 00:09:59.190
>> You get what I'm saying? But sign up.
00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:01.590
Put yourself in the position to get in
00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:02.630
the game,
00:10:02.640 --> 00:10:04.150
>> not put yourself in the position to get
00:10:04.160 --> 00:10:05.990
out the game. And it takes you five
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:08.150
minutes. You go on Instagram all day. It
00:10:08.160 --> 00:10:09.990
took you two minutes to do that link.
00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:11.269
Boom. And bam.
00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:13.190
>> Man, I went even the furthest. I was
00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:15.190
signing people up.
00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:17.110
>> I'm putting people's names in there. I'm
00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:18.150
like, "Hey, you going to be a long
00:10:18.160 --> 00:10:19.590
shoreman. Hey, you going to be long.
00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:20.949
What's that? Don't trip, man.
00:10:20.959 --> 00:10:21.990
>> I'm going to check the list. If your
00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:24.310
name on it, I just need you to hit me,
00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:25.590
man. told me, "Thank you, man."
00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:27.190
>> See what I'm saying? You changing lives,
00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:27.509
bro.
00:10:27.519 --> 00:10:29.590
>> And it and and it mean a lot to me
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:33.030
because I'm not doing it for acceptance.
00:10:33.040 --> 00:10:34.389
>> You feel me? I ain't doing it to be
00:10:34.399 --> 00:10:37.350
liked. I'm doing it because I don't want
00:10:37.360 --> 00:10:40.790
to do nothing in life,
00:10:40.800 --> 00:10:42.389
>> but be there for my people.
00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:43.509
>> Come on.
00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:46.230
>> I don't I don't care about fancy things.
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:49.110
I don't care about I could have been
00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:51.190
walked away from what this area looks
00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:53.190
like and into some other things. I've
00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:55.350
had opportunities presented to myself
00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:57.509
that I turn down because it's going to
00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:00.630
take me away from my purpose.
00:11:00.640 --> 00:11:02.710
So, is you giving me an opportunity or
00:11:02.720 --> 00:11:05.509
is you pulling me away from my purpose?
00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:08.310
My purpose means more to me than the
00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:09.990
position that you may be able to put me
00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:12.150
in. And the only reason you willing to
00:11:12.160 --> 00:11:13.829
put me in that position is because at
00:11:13.839 --> 00:11:15.350
the end of the day, it offers something
00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:18.150
to you. You get what I'm saying? I'm
00:11:18.160 --> 00:11:21.110
trying to be um a leader. I'm trying to
00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:23.030
be an activist. I'm trying to be a
00:11:23.040 --> 00:11:25.910
standup guy
00:11:25.920 --> 00:11:28.630
>> to my community where I know it's
00:11:28.640 --> 00:11:29.670
lacked.
00:11:29.680 --> 00:11:31.269
>> Can we rewind just a little bit?
00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:31.590
>> Yes.
00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:32.949
>> You got to take trying out of it because
00:11:32.959 --> 00:11:33.990
you already doing it.
00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:35.350
>> Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:36.710
>> Yes, sir. You already doing it, man.
00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:37.910
>> You know, so that that's that that's
00:11:37.920 --> 00:11:43.350
that's my goal, man. Um I'm trying to be
00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:45.030
what I needed when I was going through
00:11:45.040 --> 00:11:46.069
the things that I was going through.
00:11:46.079 --> 00:11:47.829
when I was going through addiction,
00:11:47.839 --> 00:11:51.350
>> when I was going through uh um
00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:53.430
just being a kid, man, you know, my
00:11:53.440 --> 00:11:54.949
father running in and out of prison, my
00:11:54.959 --> 00:11:57.030
mother being on drugs, um me just
00:11:57.040 --> 00:11:58.710
raising starting to raise myself right
00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:00.389
around 12 years old. Since then, I've
00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:03.110
been so at a 12 year old mind trying to
00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:05.110
make adult decisions for itself doesn't
00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:07.750
work. You know, I made a post earlier
00:12:07.760 --> 00:12:11.430
today um and it was I don't want no kid
00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:12.870
to choose the streets.
00:12:12.880 --> 00:12:13.430
>> Yeah,
00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:14.870
>> I don't. Mhm.
00:12:14.880 --> 00:12:17.750
>> But the ones who
00:12:17.760 --> 00:12:21.829
somewhat make it, somewhat survive,
00:12:21.839 --> 00:12:24.230
somewhat get something out of it is the
00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:27.110
ones that's being groomed
00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:29.509
by other people who's been in this life,
00:12:29.519 --> 00:12:31.509
who's been through the ups and downs,
00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:34.069
who's got a a a nice flow of what this
00:12:34.079 --> 00:12:35.910
life looks like, and they grab somebody
00:12:35.920 --> 00:12:37.670
they they see have full of potential,
00:12:37.680 --> 00:12:40.629
and they guide them. Most of our youth
00:12:40.639 --> 00:12:43.509
are jumping off the sidewalk and into
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.230
the street where it's speeding traffic
00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:48.629
and don't look both ways and don't know
00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:50.629
what's out there until they get out
00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:52.710
there. They don't know the rules. They
00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:54.710
don't know the expectations
00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:56.790
and they don't know what come with it.
00:12:56.800 --> 00:12:58.389
They just know they're trying to take
00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:00.069
care of something that's going on inside
00:13:00.079 --> 00:13:01.990
of them right there at that moment.
00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:05.509
which our kids shouldn't be having to be
00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:07.910
concerned about if they going to eat
00:13:07.920 --> 00:13:11.110
tonight, if they going to have clothes,
00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:13.030
if they if they brothers and sisters
00:13:13.040 --> 00:13:14.629
going to have something. Some of these
00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:16.310
kids are running out there into these
00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.790
streets, not just for themselves, but
00:13:18.800 --> 00:13:20.870
for their siblings. And the only thing
00:13:20.880 --> 00:13:23.670
that they can see that can take care of
00:13:23.680 --> 00:13:25.910
it immediately
00:13:25.920 --> 00:13:29.190
is running behind their they friends.
00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:31.350
that's that's already showing them that,
00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:32.629
hey, if you do this, you can get a
00:13:32.639 --> 00:13:35.190
couple dollars. So, they're willing to
00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:37.829
put their self at risk
00:13:37.839 --> 00:13:41.750
of death or jail to take care of their
00:13:41.760 --> 00:13:43.350
siblings
00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:45.269
and they
00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:48.310
some in some cases even their parents.
00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:49.750
>> You get what I'm saying? But we're
00:13:49.760 --> 00:13:52.230
punishing them for being put in
00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:54.150
positions that kids shouldn't be in. And
00:13:54.160 --> 00:13:56.150
then we're holding them responsible for
00:13:56.160 --> 00:13:58.629
making decisions that they shouldn't be
00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.189
in position to make as well. You
00:14:01.199 --> 00:14:05.509
understand me? So we are the ones that's
00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:06.949
truly letting them down.
00:14:06.959 --> 00:14:08.310
>> Mhm.
00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.069
>> You get what I'm saying? We are the ones
00:14:10.079 --> 00:14:12.790
that's not acknowledging why they really
00:14:12.800 --> 00:14:15.670
outside because we judge before
00:14:15.680 --> 00:14:17.430
understanding. like this a little might
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:18.949
be a little bit of the opposite, but I
00:14:18.959 --> 00:14:21.509
know um last night I was talking to
00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:23.350
somebody and we was talking about the
00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:25.829
hood heroes, right? When we jump off
00:14:25.839 --> 00:14:26.629
that porch,
00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:27.350
>> right? Right.
00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:29.189
>> And like the OGs that are out there,
00:14:29.199 --> 00:14:29.829
>> right?
00:14:29.839 --> 00:14:32.949
>> And judging and and I'm saying like, you
00:14:32.959 --> 00:14:33.990
know what I'm saying? If you're not
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:35.750
living in it, keep your opinion out of
00:14:35.760 --> 00:14:37.430
it because you're just judging off of
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:39.910
what you see. and you know the man
00:14:39.920 --> 00:14:41.590
that's down there and yeah of course
00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.910
he's already settled into you know his
00:14:43.920 --> 00:14:45.750
business of selling dope or in the
00:14:45.760 --> 00:14:47.269
streets or whatever like that but I know
00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:49.189
when I was going down to the corner of
00:14:49.199 --> 00:14:51.590
Fairfax and High Street or to the top or
00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:53.910
wherever the OG's was like shushing me
00:14:53.920 --> 00:14:56.389
away man get your ass up out of here man
00:14:56.399 --> 00:14:58.470
go somewhere else you know what I'm
00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:00.389
saying and then but it's like and then
00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:01.990
we talked about earlier too is about the
00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:03.829
kids not understanding or making the
00:15:03.839 --> 00:15:05.269
choice right and then I was just like
00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.269
well I did make the choice to keep
00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:08.550
coming back down there,
00:15:08.560 --> 00:15:08.949
>> right?
00:15:08.959 --> 00:15:10.470
>> You know what I mean? And then I was put
00:15:10.480 --> 00:15:11.990
under a wing and was like, "Here, we
00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:13.509
going to do this this way. We going to
00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:15.590
show look, we going to do it this way."
00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:17.670
Right? But then what I'm getting to is
00:15:17.680 --> 00:15:19.750
like the mentorship because when you
00:15:19.760 --> 00:15:22.310
jump off the porch and you run into the
00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:24.150
street and you ain't got no recollection
00:15:24.160 --> 00:15:25.990
of what's going on, you going to get
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.790
your ass smacked by these cars. You need
00:15:28.800 --> 00:15:29.430
a mentor.
00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:30.870
>> Yes. You need to have awareness.
00:15:30.880 --> 00:15:33.189
>> That's what OG's supposed to be. Even if
00:15:33.199 --> 00:15:36.550
you mentoring me wrong,
00:15:36.560 --> 00:15:39.030
you're still making my possibilities of
00:15:39.040 --> 00:15:41.670
survival in this lifestyle strong.
00:15:41.680 --> 00:15:44.949
>> Yes. Yes. And I'm not no way in shape or
00:15:44.959 --> 00:15:47.990
form am I promoting any of that. But the
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:50.150
reality of it is is because I'm
00:15:50.160 --> 00:15:51.350
>> we going to talk facts and we going to
00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:51.990
talk fiction.
00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.389
>> We we going to talk reality and fact
00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:56.870
because absolutely because 100% of the
00:15:56.880 --> 00:15:58.150
time like
00:15:58.160 --> 00:16:00.389
>> we don't have no control of these kids
00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:02.069
jumping off the porch. We don't have no
00:16:02.079 --> 00:16:02.470
control.
00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:04.150
>> We don't have no control of that. It's
00:16:04.160 --> 00:16:05.269
happening
00:16:05.279 --> 00:16:07.269
>> at a high speed rate
00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:08.230
>> daily.
00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:09.509
>> You know what I'm saying? Like
00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:11.509
everybody's trying to be somebody else.
00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:13.350
>> And then know which makes it even worse
00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:17.110
now. When we was young, it wasn't being
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:18.790
promoted
00:16:18.800 --> 00:16:20.710
>> through media to us.
00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:21.189
>> Yes.
00:16:21.199 --> 00:16:23.110
>> We only seen it because we walked
00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:25.269
outside and it was in front of us.
00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:25.670
>> Yeah.
00:16:25.680 --> 00:16:27.110
>> But it wasn't in music.
00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:27.509
>> Yeah.
00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:28.870
>> It wasn't in media.
00:16:28.880 --> 00:16:33.509
>> N. It wasn't in in in it wasn't in our
00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:35.350
idols and people that we look up to
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:37.829
based on the things that they have in a
00:16:37.839 --> 00:16:41.110
professional setting to be this is how
00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:42.470
they go about getting it.
00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:43.110
>> Mhm.
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:44.230
>> We didn't have that.
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:44.949
>> No.
00:16:44.959 --> 00:16:46.949
>> Now it definitely wasn't in your music
00:16:46.959 --> 00:16:48.629
as much as it started to be in your
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:50.790
music. Yeah. Exactly. Say that. And now
00:16:50.800 --> 00:16:53.749
>> now it's music. It's all in the music.
00:16:53.759 --> 00:16:55.430
It is the music and it's just like what
00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:58.230
the hell like what? Like oh okay. So
00:16:58.240 --> 00:16:59.670
this is what we promoting because that's
00:16:59.680 --> 00:17:01.749
where the money is. And and I've always
00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:03.749
believed in, you know, where the most
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:05.669
greed, power, race, and everything is
00:17:05.679 --> 00:17:07.429
always going to be behind money.
00:17:07.439 --> 00:17:08.150
>> Behind money.
00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:09.350
>> You know what I'm saying? So how we
00:17:09.360 --> 00:17:12.309
going to use this power and this money
00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:16.150
to make a positive change, you know? And
00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:18.630
it's like, so it takes people like you,
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:21.029
me, um you know what I mean? Everybody.
00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:22.870
And like I was telling you, like we was
00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:25.510
talking, man, we huge shout out to Mr.
00:17:25.520 --> 00:17:27.029
fab and everything that y'all doing over
00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:28.950
there with the dope era, man. You know,
00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:30.549
I got to give y'all flowers, man. Cuz
00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:32.390
y'all really like it don't matter how
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:34.310
bad Oakland look, man. Y'all still out
00:17:34.320 --> 00:17:35.909
there running it up for them. You know
00:17:35.919 --> 00:17:37.590
what I'm saying? And that's exactly what
00:17:37.600 --> 00:17:39.990
they need. And they need these positive
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:41.750
influences. Like I was telling you, I
00:17:41.760 --> 00:17:43.270
was a counselor in the city working with
00:17:43.280 --> 00:17:44.710
adults and stuff like that.
00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:47.350
>> But my passion has always been for kids
00:17:47.360 --> 00:17:48.950
>> because I want to be there for somebody
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:50.070
like I would have didn't have that
00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:50.549
person there.
00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:51.350
>> Exactly.
00:17:51.360 --> 00:17:53.110
Like my [ __ ] was like I was coming
00:17:53.120 --> 00:17:54.870
outside on the porch and I couldn't even
00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:56.549
get a dollar from my mama to get a red
00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:58.710
hot burrito and some bags of Cheetos.
00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:02.150
Just a $2 meal turf turf meal. You know
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:03.909
what I'm saying? Like I couldn't even
00:18:03.919 --> 00:18:06.630
get that and let alone a white tea.
00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:08.070
>> You know what I'm saying? So it's like
00:18:08.080 --> 00:18:09.830
well hold on. I got to do it like this.
00:18:09.840 --> 00:18:11.990
>> Who you going to listen to?
00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:13.830
>> The person that feeds you and clothe you
00:18:13.840 --> 00:18:15.110
or the person that's not?
00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:16.630
>> I'm going right down to the street. You
00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:17.909
get what I'm saying? Figure out how to
00:18:17.919 --> 00:18:19.190
get this money in my life. The same
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:21.750
thing we went through is the same kid
00:18:21.760 --> 00:18:23.029
thing thing these kids are going
00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:25.350
through. It's just intensified.
00:18:25.360 --> 00:18:26.470
>> Intensified.
00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:28.710
>> That's it, man. It's no difference. It's
00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:30.549
just levels to life.
00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:30.950
>> Yeah.
00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:34.150
>> And and destruction grows when it goes.
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:35.830
>> You know what I'm saying? And and and we
00:18:35.840 --> 00:18:39.669
haven't found a way to um to stop being
00:18:39.679 --> 00:18:41.270
our own worst enemy.
00:18:41.280 --> 00:18:41.909
>> Mhm.
00:18:41.919 --> 00:18:43.510
>> Because we all fighting to try to get
00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:45.110
out of a situation that none of us want
00:18:45.120 --> 00:18:47.270
to be in and we don't know how to fight
00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:49.430
together. So we fight alone and then
00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:50.870
when we fight alone they mean we're
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:52.870
fighting against everything around us.
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:53.190
>> Mhm.
00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:55.430
>> You get what I'm saying? We they say
00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:58.710
they say you don't go in the this not
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.310
even say white. You don't go in a rich
00:19:00.320 --> 00:19:03.270
folks neighborhood and tear that up.
00:19:03.280 --> 00:19:05.029
Well guess what? I don't even know how
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:07.590
to get to where that is. And when I get
00:19:07.600 --> 00:19:09.590
there I ain't going to be able to do it
00:19:09.600 --> 00:19:11.350
because ain't nobody else I to do it
00:19:11.360 --> 00:19:11.830
with.
00:19:11.840 --> 00:19:14.549
>> No. And and plus you going to have four,
00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:16.310
five cars behind you by the time you get
00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:17.430
to the spot where it's
00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:19.029
>> But it's easy for me to blend in and
00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:21.669
destroy where I come from because I look
00:19:21.679 --> 00:19:23.270
just like
00:19:23.280 --> 00:19:25.029
>> the people that's doing good, the people
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:27.029
that's doing bad, and the people that's
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:29.590
out here being self-destructive. We all
00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:31.270
look the same, man. We all come from the
00:19:31.280 --> 00:19:33.110
same problems and the same pain. And
00:19:33.120 --> 00:19:34.789
what they don't really understand, and I
00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:36.230
want I'm going to switch gears after
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:37.510
this because you know everything that
00:19:37.520 --> 00:19:38.710
you've been through and came through and
00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:42.070
why you are here today. But uh
00:19:42.080 --> 00:19:44.070
>> what they don't understand is when they
00:19:44.080 --> 00:19:45.190
be like,
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:48.710
>> "Oh, you know,
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:51.029
>> it be like, man, y'all fighting against
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:53.270
each other. Y'all doing this. You know,
00:19:53.280 --> 00:19:55.110
it's a lot of black-on-black crime." Or
00:19:55.120 --> 00:19:56.950
if you in the hood, it's this hood. You
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:58.789
you from this part of the street, you
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:00.630
funking with this part of the street,
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:03.430
right? It's all it is. But why, like you
00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:04.950
said, why don't you go to this rich
00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:06.310
neighborhood
00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:09.029
>> and do that? Well, because right now we
00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:11.110
in this circle
00:20:11.120 --> 00:20:13.190
>> and we in survival mode
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:14.870
>> and it's not that we out here and I'm
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:16.710
out here trying to get at you. I'm
00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:18.789
trying to keep myself safe by you
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:19.990
getting at me. So, I'm going to get at
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.190
you first.
00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:22.310
>> You know what I'm saying? So, it's just
00:20:22.320 --> 00:20:24.070
like and that's where the that's where
00:20:24.080 --> 00:20:25.750
that circle is going around and around
00:20:25.760 --> 00:20:27.110
and around and we need to come in with a
00:20:27.120 --> 00:20:28.630
hammer and smash that [ __ ] and break
00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:30.230
that [ __ ] We need to break those
00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:32.710
generational cycles that's happening and
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:34.390
it's hard to do especially you know with
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:35.830
the influences you know what I mean and
00:20:35.840 --> 00:20:37.909
I'm always big on two is if we all
00:20:37.919 --> 00:20:39.909
collaborate and network man we're going
00:20:39.919 --> 00:20:41.909
to be able to reach you reach just
00:20:41.919 --> 00:20:43.669
that's just 25 people that came back to
00:20:43.679 --> 00:20:46.470
you and that's just 25 people that say
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:47.909
that doesn't mean that's all I affected
00:20:47.919 --> 00:20:50.870
that's just 25 people it it that same
00:20:50.880 --> 00:20:52.310
amount of people say I didn't make the
00:20:52.320 --> 00:20:54.630
list but guess what at least you signed
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:55.110
up for it
00:20:55.120 --> 00:20:57.190
>> and now you know what it is you planted
00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:59.909
that seed and even with the 25 people,
00:20:59.919 --> 00:21:02.470
how many of their families did you
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.390
positively affect
00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:06.390
>> from that later on when they get in the
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:07.430
working and all that?
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:08.549
>> You know what I'm saying? Because it's
00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:10.390
important to understand that like you
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:12.870
might have 10 eyes on you, but what's
00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:14.149
behind those 10 eyes?
00:21:14.159 --> 00:21:15.350
>> It's voices.
00:21:15.360 --> 00:21:16.230
>> You know what I'm saying?
00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:18.230
>> Voices make it go out more,
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:19.830
>> you know? And so it's important, man.
00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:21.270
But like, man, we touched on a lot of
00:21:21.280 --> 00:21:24.710
stuff already. Uh, but man, talk about
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:27.029
like man your I know you was seven and
00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:29.430
eight finding syringes with dope in it.
00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:31.270
Your mama blaming it on man. How did
00:21:31.280 --> 00:21:34.789
that how did that right there what was
00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:37.190
that cord like when your mama told you
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.789
that? What was your first thought? You
00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:39.190
remember?
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:41.830
>> I don't I don't know. I don't I don't um
00:21:41.840 --> 00:21:43.350
>> Okay. He was Okay.
00:21:43.360 --> 00:21:46.230
>> Yeah. Like I you know we I was a kid.
00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:46.470
Yeah.
00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:48.230
>> You know what I mean? And I probably was
00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:50.149
glad that she lied to me because it
00:21:50.159 --> 00:21:51.029
probably would have been a lot more
00:21:51.039 --> 00:21:53.029
hurtful if she said it was her. M
00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:55.029
>> but when you find out your mom using
00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:59.909
drugs once you realize it
00:21:59.919 --> 00:22:05.110
>> I think it was more painful
00:22:05.120 --> 00:22:07.110
becoming an addict than it was knowing
00:22:07.120 --> 00:22:10.149
my mother was an addict.
00:22:10.159 --> 00:22:12.070
>> Talk about it. Because if my mother
00:22:12.080 --> 00:22:14.710
would have told me she was an addict, it
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:16.390
might have gave me reason not to want to
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:17.909
become an addict. Because she could have
00:22:17.919 --> 00:22:20.950
taught me from a place of openness and
00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:22.950
not from a place of don't do drugs,
00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:24.789
don't do drugs, don't do drugs instead
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:26.630
of saying son I do drugs. This why we in
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:28.710
the situation we in. When you become
00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:30.390
have the opportunity to become a parent
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:32.149
and an adult, if you do some of the
00:22:32.159 --> 00:22:35.350
things that I did as a as your parent,
00:22:35.360 --> 00:22:37.430
you going to be the same parent I am to
00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:39.190
the next generation. So, let me be
00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:41.350
honest with you about
00:22:41.360 --> 00:22:43.669
>> my drug use and what it's doing to us
00:22:43.679 --> 00:22:45.750
and how it's preventing how it's
00:22:45.760 --> 00:22:47.909
preventing me from being the mother that
00:22:47.919 --> 00:22:50.549
you need me to be. You get what I'm
00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:52.710
saying? And it might have made our
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:54.630
relationship stronger and it may been
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:56.390
able to to gave me a better
00:22:56.400 --> 00:22:57.669
understanding of why I should have
00:22:57.679 --> 00:22:59.830
stayed away from drugs. Growing up, I
00:22:59.840 --> 00:23:01.750
was an athlete. All my friends used
00:23:01.760 --> 00:23:04.230
drugs. You know, that's Grimmy's first
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:07.750
came out. Um, some of them, you know, we
00:23:07.760 --> 00:23:09.110
they might have been doing stuff. I
00:23:09.120 --> 00:23:10.950
never smoking weed. I never really I
00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:13.110
never really tripped on using drugs. I
00:23:13.120 --> 00:23:15.190
ended up going to YA. And, you know, I
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:17.029
like to be transparent about my story. I
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:18.950
end up going to YA. And when I got out
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:21.669
of YA, I had went to work furlow. And
00:23:21.679 --> 00:23:23.909
um, when I left, all my friends, we was
00:23:23.919 --> 00:23:26.549
hustling. When I got back, they was
00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:28.789
getting high.
00:23:28.799 --> 00:23:31.110
I used to be, man, them suckers. Woo woo
00:23:31.120 --> 00:23:33.190
woo. I, you feel me? cuz it hurt me that
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:35.590
my circle of friends was they wasn't we
00:23:35.600 --> 00:23:37.270
was still hustling. You know, when you
00:23:37.280 --> 00:23:38.950
first get high, you still getting some
00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:40.630
money. You just creating a drug habit.
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:42.149
You building it up. You in your early
00:23:42.159 --> 00:23:43.669
stages of what that looks like for you
00:23:43.679 --> 00:23:45.190
without understanding the damage that
00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:47.750
it's going to do in the long run. So,
00:23:47.760 --> 00:23:49.350
when you first get high and you think,
00:23:49.360 --> 00:23:51.990
"Damn, it didn't kill me. I still
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:53.909
getting up getting into some money. I
00:23:53.919 --> 00:23:55.510
can get high and still be okay." We
00:23:55.520 --> 00:23:56.710
don't know the road ahead of us. We
00:23:56.720 --> 00:23:58.950
don't understand that part. Um, we think
00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:01.350
that I I ain't going to be like him
00:24:01.360 --> 00:24:03.029
getting high. I'm going be able to be
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:05.430
okay because I'm seeing the end of his
00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:07.350
story from the eyes of the beginning of
00:24:07.360 --> 00:24:08.390
my story.
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:09.669
>> Yeah. And they don't understand that.
00:24:09.679 --> 00:24:11.590
>> They don't understand that. Right. So,
00:24:11.600 --> 00:24:15.110
um, so I got out and we was in the, um,
00:24:15.120 --> 00:24:16.710
six blocks up the street. Man, it's
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:18.789
crazy. Um,
00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:21.029
we was in the house one night and um,
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:23.590
and my friends was telling me how you
00:24:23.600 --> 00:24:26.070
could have sex all night off hero. The
00:24:26.080 --> 00:24:28.710
first time I got high, I didn't get high
00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:31.430
to get high. I got high to go have sex
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:33.909
all night long.
00:24:33.919 --> 00:24:36.710
>> Once I had sex all night long, it gave
00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:39.110
me a different standard of what I wanted
00:24:39.120 --> 00:24:41.990
sex to look like to me. So, every time I
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:44.549
wanted to go have sex, I made sure I got
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:47.510
high. What I didn't understand was that
00:24:47.520 --> 00:24:50.070
after three or four days of consistent
00:24:50.080 --> 00:24:52.149
getting high, I was going to wake up one
00:24:52.159 --> 00:24:54.390
morning and didn't have a choice if I
00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:57.269
wanted to feel normal to but go back and
00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:59.190
get high.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:02.230
I started getting high for sexual
00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:03.830
purposes,
00:25:03.840 --> 00:25:07.750
not for get high purposes. It became my
00:25:07.760 --> 00:25:10.950
lifestyle. I got high for 22 years. It
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:13.350
ran me in and out of prison. It made me
00:25:13.360 --> 00:25:15.590
into a version of myself that I didn't
00:25:15.600 --> 00:25:19.430
even know was possible. I was being a
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:22.310
person that I never knew I could be. All
00:25:22.320 --> 00:25:24.950
from trying something for the wrong
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.789
reason. I tell these kids every day, the
00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:32.630
perk is the same thing as the heron.
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:35.590
It's giving you the same effect. Make
00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:37.510
you have sex for a long period of time.
00:25:37.520 --> 00:25:39.510
It takes away your conscience. It'll
00:25:39.520 --> 00:25:41.269
make you get out here and do damaging
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:43.350
things to other people without caring
00:25:43.360 --> 00:25:44.710
about it. And then it's going to wake
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:46.710
you up saying you better go get enough
00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:48.950
money to be able to get you enough perks
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:50.950
to get you through the day so that you
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:54.710
can be somewhat of who you are inside
00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:56.789
physically because without that you're
00:25:56.799 --> 00:25:58.549
not going to feel right physically. You
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:00.149
know what I'm saying? So that was my
00:26:00.159 --> 00:26:03.269
initial um introduction and reasons for
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:05.269
wanting to use drugs for sexual
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:07.750
purposes. Not to please myself, but to
00:26:07.760 --> 00:26:09.750
be able to be able to have all the girls
00:26:09.760 --> 00:26:12.950
saying unfuck all night. We look for
00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:15.990
acceptance from so many other people
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:18.549
instead of ourselves that we're willing
00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:21.510
to do so many things that don't fit with
00:26:21.520 --> 00:26:23.110
what we think we should be doing for
00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:26.870
ourselves to be able to impress the eyes
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:29.669
of others. And that happened to me, man.
00:26:29.679 --> 00:26:31.669
And I'm man enough to say that I ran in
00:26:31.679 --> 00:26:33.750
out of jail and got hired for 20ome
00:26:33.760 --> 00:26:38.070
years trying to live up to a image that
00:26:38.080 --> 00:26:41.029
I wanted other people to see me as
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:43.430
instead of just looking at myself and
00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:45.990
saying who do I want to see me as? And
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:47.750
do I want to see me as a drug addict?
00:26:47.760 --> 00:26:48.549
No, I didn't.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:50.789
>> Man,
00:26:50.799 --> 00:26:53.190
that's a lot.
00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:55.750
That's a lot. You know, because one
00:26:55.760 --> 00:26:59.190
night turned into 22 years. 22 years,
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:00.149
man.
00:27:00.159 --> 00:27:02.390
>> And let me tell you something, you want
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:04.870
to know the craziest part.
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:08.710
And 22 years went that fast. Life is a
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:11.990
lot slower when you living it right.
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:13.430
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:13.440 --> 00:27:15.190
>> Than when you living it wrong.
00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:16.230
>> Yeah.
00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:18.070
>> When you living it wrong, you get so
00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:20.310
many years incarceration. When you go to
00:27:20.320 --> 00:27:21.990
jail, you got to be this version of you
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:23.830
that you really ain't to be able to fit
00:27:23.840 --> 00:27:26.230
in there. When you're in the street, you
00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:28.070
got to put all these titles on yourself.
00:27:28.080 --> 00:27:30.310
I'm a ganga. I'm a thug. I'm a pimp. I'm
00:27:30.320 --> 00:27:32.470
a player. I'm a jacker. I'm a thief. I'm
00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:36.950
a gunner. None of that. These are the
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:38.950
things and ways that I got to behave
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:40.630
just to be able to fit into the world
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:42.390
that I don't fit in.
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:43.269
>> Mhm.
00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:44.070
>> You hear me?
00:27:44.080 --> 00:27:44.870
>> Yeah. For sure.
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:47.269
>> I got to be a version of myself that
00:27:47.279 --> 00:27:50.070
ain't myself because I want to run hang
00:27:50.080 --> 00:27:52.549
in an environment that don't fit who I
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:53.110
am,
00:27:53.120 --> 00:27:54.470
>> man.
00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:56.549
And when you wake up one day and realize
00:27:56.559 --> 00:27:59.190
that the pain
00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:01.909
of understanding that
00:28:01.919 --> 00:28:06.710
you spent 22 years degrading,
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:08.310
damaging,
00:28:08.320 --> 00:28:12.389
and destroying who you are
00:28:12.399 --> 00:28:15.590
for all the reasons of you not being who
00:28:15.600 --> 00:28:19.110
you are. It's like maybe the hardest
00:28:19.120 --> 00:28:21.430
blow you had to accept. But it also is
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:23.110
the best blow you can accept. You know
00:28:23.120 --> 00:28:26.230
why? Because you can take that
00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:29.029
experience
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:31.830
and you can turn it into your purpose
00:28:31.840 --> 00:28:34.070
>> and you can run back to where you came
00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:37.350
from into that same places and them same
00:28:37.360 --> 00:28:39.909
crevices and them same holes into them
00:28:39.919 --> 00:28:43.990
same people and you can be an example
00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:46.789
of what coming up out of that look like
00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:48.789
and you can give them the blueprint to
00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:51.269
what change look like. And if you want
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:53.750
to ask me what does it takes for to
00:28:53.760 --> 00:28:55.269
change,
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:57.510
it takes for you to learn how to love
00:28:57.520 --> 00:28:59.590
yourself
00:28:59.600 --> 00:29:03.029
>> enough to put in the emotional
00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:03.750
>> Yeah.
00:29:03.760 --> 00:29:07.029
>> work that it's going to take to forgive
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:11.029
yourself for all the pain and punishment
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:13.029
you took yourself through when you was
00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:14.710
being a version of yourself that wasn't
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:17.750
you. And once you forgive yourself, you
00:29:17.760 --> 00:29:20.950
can begin to heal yourself. You can be
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:23.269
you can go into next learning how to
00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:26.310
love yourself and then you can go into
00:29:26.320 --> 00:29:29.350
being the best version of yourself
00:29:29.360 --> 00:29:31.269
>> cuz without that [ __ ] you ain't going to
00:29:31.279 --> 00:29:33.750
be able to do nothing for anybody else.
00:29:33.760 --> 00:29:37.909
>> You going to still be addicted.
00:29:37.919 --> 00:29:39.510
You just ain't going to be using.
00:29:39.520 --> 00:29:43.350
>> Yeah. No. 100% man. Man,
00:29:43.360 --> 00:29:45.750
I mean,
00:29:45.760 --> 00:29:47.750
man, if y'all not understanding the
00:29:47.760 --> 00:29:50.149
value that y'all getting right now, just
00:29:50.159 --> 00:29:52.230
from what he just said, man, I I I need
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:54.710
y'all to press rewind. I need y'all to
00:29:54.720 --> 00:29:56.630
press rewind cuz y'all got to understand
00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:58.389
like until you take care of yourself,
00:29:58.399 --> 00:29:59.909
you not going to be able to help nobody
00:29:59.919 --> 00:30:01.669
else. You know what I mean? You got to
00:30:01.679 --> 00:30:03.350
come first in all these aspects,
00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:04.630
especially the ones that have been
00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:06.870
dealing with trauma. They've been raped.
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:08.470
They've been homeless. They've been drug
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.389
addiction. They've been incarcerated.
00:30:10.399 --> 00:30:12.549
They've been wronged, fouled. All of
00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:14.789
these different things.
00:30:14.799 --> 00:30:17.029
Like, you really got to sit down and you
00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:18.630
really have to take note of like, you
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:20.710
got to take all your experiences and you
00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:22.549
got to write, like, for me, I'm a big
00:30:22.559 --> 00:30:24.149
journaler. You got to write that [ __ ]
00:30:24.159 --> 00:30:24.950
down,
00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:26.470
>> work that [ __ ] out,
00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:28.149
>> right? Get some professional help,
00:30:28.159 --> 00:30:29.990
whatever. Get a mentor, get a therapist,
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:31.990
counselor, whatever the case may be,
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:34.389
because your story is not over,
00:30:34.399 --> 00:30:35.590
>> man. It just began.
00:30:35.600 --> 00:30:38.230
>> Your story is just developing. You know
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:39.669
what I'm saying? And what you can do
00:30:39.679 --> 00:30:42.149
with that story is you can help save
00:30:42.159 --> 00:30:43.430
somebody
00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:45.190
>> before they go through the same thing
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:46.549
you went through. You know what I'm
00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:47.029
saying?
00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:51.430
>> That's what make you know what makes
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:53.669
what I've been through so meaningful to
00:30:53.679 --> 00:30:55.909
me
00:30:55.919 --> 00:30:59.110
is that I can use it
00:30:59.120 --> 00:31:02.149
as ex as like like like as if I went to
00:31:02.159 --> 00:31:04.470
college for 22 years.
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:07.350
to go back into my community and give
00:31:07.360 --> 00:31:08.230
them
00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:10.789
>> school of hard knocks, baby. Come on. I
00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:13.590
can give them head headon experience on
00:31:13.600 --> 00:31:15.990
what it is. Tell you what not to do.
00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:18.470
>> Let me tell you what not to do. And
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:20.710
sometime I believe telling the person
00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:22.630
what not to do is more important than
00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:23.750
telling them what to do.
00:31:23.760 --> 00:31:26.070
>> Hey, man. That's one of my favorite
00:31:26.080 --> 00:31:27.590
questions.
00:31:27.600 --> 00:31:29.190
What not to do. Like
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:31.029
>> because if I keep doing what I'm doing,
00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:32.870
I'mma figure out what to do.
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:33.830
>> Yeah.
00:31:33.840 --> 00:31:36.710
But help me not have to go down a dark
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:40.149
road to get to land on my bottom. I've
00:31:40.159 --> 00:31:42.310
been clean. I said this on the podcast.
00:31:42.320 --> 00:31:44.149
I've been clean on sway show. I said
00:31:44.159 --> 00:31:46.070
I've been clean 13 years.
00:31:46.080 --> 00:31:47.669
>> Congratulations. That's a that's a huge
00:31:47.679 --> 00:31:48.549
accomplishment.
00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:49.990
>> I've been clean. That mean that I
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:52.149
haven't had a drug that drug in my
00:31:52.159 --> 00:31:53.430
system.
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:54.710
>> You feel me?
00:31:54.720 --> 00:31:57.029
>> I have only been
00:31:57.039 --> 00:32:00.470
I have been clean I have been clean of
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:03.590
drugs for 13 years. I've been cleaning
00:32:03.600 --> 00:32:05.350
mentally
00:32:05.360 --> 00:32:09.430
for three. Come on. Meaning that it took
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:12.230
10 years for me to get what they call
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:15.990
that stinking thinking out my system
00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:18.149
because even though I was clean, I was
00:32:18.159 --> 00:32:19.909
still trying to bust moves. I was still
00:32:19.919 --> 00:32:21.590
trying to catch up. I was still trying
00:32:21.600 --> 00:32:23.430
to impress. I was trying to still live
00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:25.029
for others. I was still trying to get
00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:26.789
people to see me at a new version of who
00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:30.789
I am. I was still trying to get people
00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:33.110
who don't give a flying [ __ ] about me to
00:32:33.120 --> 00:32:33.750
care about me.
00:32:33.760 --> 00:32:35.190
>> That's how your disease was active
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:37.430
throughout the whole 10 years.
00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:40.070
>> The last three years I fell in love with
00:32:40.080 --> 00:32:40.950
myself.
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:43.190
>> Nice. I love that.
00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:48.310
>> You get what I'm saying? So your opinion
00:32:48.320 --> 00:32:50.950
of who I am,
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:54.149
even if it's based on who I was, doesn't
00:32:54.159 --> 00:32:56.149
matter to me. I'm not trying to correct
00:32:56.159 --> 00:32:58.950
the way you see me based on a pain that
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.110
I may have gave you when I was being a
00:33:01.120 --> 00:33:03.110
version of me that ain't me. If you want
00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:05.190
to heal our relationship, learn to
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:07.590
accept this new version of me, my true
00:33:07.600 --> 00:33:08.950
version of me.
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:11.350
>> Stop looking at me for the person I was
00:33:11.360 --> 00:33:13.029
when I wasn't being the person that I
00:33:13.039 --> 00:33:13.750
am.
00:33:13.760 --> 00:33:17.190
>> Yeah. Because you're holding on to a a
00:33:17.200 --> 00:33:20.230
mindset of me that was caused at a
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:23.430
negative time in my life when I was you
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:26.149
think what I did to you is bad. You must
00:33:26.159 --> 00:33:27.830
ain't paying attention to what I did to
00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:28.549
myself.
00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:31.990
>> Come on, man. Talk about it. Please sh
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:32.870
you mad at me.
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:34.470
>> Can you go into depth about that? Cuz I
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:35.909
don't I don't even think people
00:33:35.919 --> 00:33:38.070
understand what what it is that you're
00:33:38.080 --> 00:33:39.509
talking about right now because like
00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:41.509
Yeah, man. You and I'm not trying to
00:33:41.519 --> 00:33:43.110
take away what you've done to other
00:33:43.120 --> 00:33:44.470
people. I'm not trying to say that
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:45.509
either. Yeah, I know.
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:47.190
>> I'm not trying to say that either.
00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:49.430
>> And anybody that sees this
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:50.950
>> that know I've done something to him
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:53.509
that I may not have gotten in position
00:33:53.519 --> 00:33:56.310
or had the opportunity to apologize.
00:33:56.320 --> 00:33:58.630
>> I love you and I apologize. But I'm not
00:33:58.640 --> 00:33:59.590
trying to correct it.
00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:01.350
>> Facts. N
00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:03.590
>> I'm trying to get you to have the
00:34:03.600 --> 00:34:06.789
opportunity to enjoy this new version of
00:34:06.799 --> 00:34:07.350
me.
00:34:07.360 --> 00:34:08.790
>> Yeah. Where you can be around me
00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:09.270
excited.
00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:12.149
>> Excited and happy for me. not having
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:14.069
something negative to say about me
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:16.149
because you're speaking from a place
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:18.950
that happened 15 years ago. And when you
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:20.710
saying something, the person that that
00:34:20.720 --> 00:34:24.629
knows me for now is looking at you like,
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:26.629
>> man, you sound like a hater. They not
00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:29.349
hating. They they sound like a hurt.
00:34:29.359 --> 00:34:31.669
>> Oo. Cuz hurt people hurt people, man.
00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:33.750
>> They sound like a hurt. Do you get what
00:34:33.760 --> 00:34:34.230
I'm saying?
00:34:34.240 --> 00:34:34.869
>> Yeah, for sure.
00:34:34.879 --> 00:34:37.030
>> They're speaking from a place of hurt,
00:34:37.040 --> 00:34:38.950
not from a place of hate. Yeah.
00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:41.270
>> They're speaking from a place of me
00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:43.589
doing some damage to them
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:45.829
>> at a time in my life when I was doing
00:34:45.839 --> 00:34:48.149
the most damage to myself.
00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:48.950
>> Yeah.
00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:50.710
>> I want you to be able to forgive me like
00:34:50.720 --> 00:34:52.869
I was able to forgive me that I wasn't
00:34:52.879 --> 00:34:54.710
able to build a relationship with myself
00:34:54.720 --> 00:34:56.790
until I was able to forgive myself.
00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:58.230
>> And you know the thing about that too is
00:34:58.240 --> 00:35:00.150
and I'm glad you said that is like you
00:35:00.160 --> 00:35:02.470
know what I mean the forgiveness.
00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:04.870
You don't got to forgive me right off
00:35:04.880 --> 00:35:07.190
the top. And this is for me that you you
00:35:07.200 --> 00:35:08.790
don't got to forgive me cuz I done a lot
00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:10.310
of bad [ __ ] out there.
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:11.990
>> You don't got to forgive me,
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:14.230
>> but just know that I forgave myself for
00:35:14.240 --> 00:35:16.150
doing the things that I did. And I'm
00:35:16.160 --> 00:35:17.990
going to show you by my actions that I'm
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:20.069
a different person because at the end of
00:35:20.079 --> 00:35:20.710
the day, like
00:35:20.720 --> 00:35:21.510
>> can you give me that?
00:35:21.520 --> 00:35:23.670
>> I cannot [ __ ] change what I did.
00:35:23.680 --> 00:35:25.430
>> Yeah. Can you give me that?
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:26.470
>> Can you give us that,
00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:29.430
>> man? Please. Cuz it's like and I and I
00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:32.310
apologize to anybody out there that that
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:34.950
I have done that wrong to, right? And
00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:36.630
it's like a lot of family has been cut
00:35:36.640 --> 00:35:38.710
off and [ __ ] like that because they not
00:35:38.720 --> 00:35:41.030
able to they're not able to get with the
00:35:41.040 --> 00:35:41.829
new program
00:35:41.839 --> 00:35:43.270
>> because you're not the person that they
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:43.829
once
00:35:43.839 --> 00:35:46.630
>> and man brok I'm going to tell you right
00:35:46.640 --> 00:35:48.150
now I don't think I've ever shared this
00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:51.270
on the podcast I had to like hear man
00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:53.270
facts for sure cuz I had to cut off some
00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:55.109
close family. Well they probably think
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.150
they cut me off
00:35:56.160 --> 00:35:56.790
>> right
00:35:56.800 --> 00:35:59.750
>> right I mean real close real close like
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:01.910
been there since I was came out the womb
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:03.510
held me and everything. They don't even
00:36:03.520 --> 00:36:04.710
they don't even understand how much it
00:36:04.720 --> 00:36:05.430
hurt.
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:07.990
>> Listen listen and I'm telling you like
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.390
the the hardest part for me is when I
00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:13.910
got clean they told me oh you think you
00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:19.829
better than everyone.
00:36:19.839 --> 00:36:20.950
>> Oh my god.
00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:22.630
>> Talk about it. Talk about it, bro.
00:36:22.640 --> 00:36:24.470
Because sometime we need to get it out.
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:26.710
>> Oh no. You think I'm better than
00:36:26.720 --> 00:36:28.710
everyone? Hell no. I think I'm better
00:36:28.720 --> 00:36:29.750
than who I used to be.
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:30.470
>> B. That's it.
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:31.510
>> And that's that's it.
00:36:31.520 --> 00:36:32.069
>> That's it.
00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:33.910
>> Like hold on. What is you talk? You love
00:36:33.920 --> 00:36:36.230
me more when I was out there stealing
00:36:36.240 --> 00:36:38.870
cars, robbing, stealing, and dealing and
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:40.710
doing all this and putting a needle in
00:36:40.720 --> 00:36:41.750
my arm.
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:42.550
>> Talk about it.
00:36:42.560 --> 00:36:44.710
>> You love me more then. But now that I'm
00:36:44.720 --> 00:36:46.790
trying to do good for myself and I'm on
00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:49.109
this I'm on this I'm on this elevator of
00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:51.430
elevation and I'm going up and up and
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:52.310
up.
00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:53.589
>> You know what I mean? And nothing could
00:36:53.599 --> 00:36:55.910
stop me, right? I'm going I'm doing all
00:36:55.920 --> 00:36:57.589
of these things, but then at the same
00:36:57.599 --> 00:36:59.750
time it's like, "Oh, but you didn't do
00:36:59.760 --> 00:37:01.750
this or you didn't do that." Like I I I
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:04.710
never ever took away for everything
00:37:04.720 --> 00:37:06.870
that's got done for me in the most
00:37:06.880 --> 00:37:08.710
hardest times. Made sure there was a
00:37:08.720 --> 00:37:10.230
birthday cake every birthday even though
00:37:10.240 --> 00:37:11.670
I didn't have no presents. But that's
00:37:11.680 --> 00:37:14.069
just me being greedy, right? Me wanting
00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:16.230
what other kids have. You know what I'm
00:37:16.240 --> 00:37:18.310
saying? But I did have a birthday cake.
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:20.230
I did have somebody that cared about me.
00:37:20.240 --> 00:37:22.150
I did have somebody that loved me. You
00:37:22.160 --> 00:37:23.430
know what I'm saying?
00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:25.589
>> But at the same time, like [ __ ] like,
00:37:25.599 --> 00:37:26.630
you know what I mean? I had to learn
00:37:26.640 --> 00:37:28.950
this [ __ ] on my own. You know what I
00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:30.790
mean? becoming this new version of me.
00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:32.870
And I just posted the other day
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:35.670
>> and I post a lot about life and like I
00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:37.109
don't want anybody to think that I'm out
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:39.109
there and I'm like my post is like I'm
00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:40.710
talking to people and I'm telling people
00:37:40.720 --> 00:37:42.470
what to do. I'm really talking to
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:43.910
myself. But if you can relate
00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:44.950
>> I was just going to tell you
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:46.550
>> if I could if you can relate with what
00:37:46.560 --> 00:37:48.230
the [ __ ] I'm going when I tell you life
00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:49.829
is [ __ ] hard. Life is [ __ ] going
00:37:49.839 --> 00:37:50.710
for me.
00:37:50.720 --> 00:37:51.750
>> You know what I'm saying? Like I'm
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:53.430
telling you some [ __ ] that's going on in
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:55.109
my life. I'm telling you, like this
00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:57.750
[ __ ] Instagram, all these stories and
00:37:57.760 --> 00:37:59.430
[ __ ] you see on the videos, like that
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:00.470
[ __ ] look good. But I'm going to tell
00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:02.950
you right now, BTS behind the scenes,
00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:04.470
man, this [ __ ] is tough. And that's why
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:05.990
I put that [ __ ] out there to let you
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:07.670
know like, yeah, this [ __ ] look good,
00:38:07.680 --> 00:38:08.069
but it ain't
00:38:08.079 --> 00:38:09.190
>> this [ __ ] look good, but I'm going tell
00:38:09.200 --> 00:38:11.670
you right now, I don't feel good.
00:38:11.680 --> 00:38:14.630
But but I'm I'm I'm happy to being able
00:38:14.640 --> 00:38:17.109
to go through this tough time. Clean.
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:18.550
Come on. Clean. That's what I'm talking
00:38:18.560 --> 00:38:20.630
about. Like being able
00:38:20.640 --> 00:38:21.829
to deal with it. That don't mean I'm
00:38:21.839 --> 00:38:22.550
going to be successful,
00:38:22.560 --> 00:38:24.150
>> man. They don't even I don't even know
00:38:24.160 --> 00:38:26.069
like man people that people that ain't
00:38:26.079 --> 00:38:27.349
lived in it man they got to keep their
00:38:27.359 --> 00:38:28.950
opinion out of it man I just started
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:30.550
saying that [ __ ] last night cuz it makes
00:38:30.560 --> 00:38:31.910
so much sense it's like if you ain't
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:33.910
living in this keep your opinion out of
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:35.589
it right because at the end of the day
00:38:35.599 --> 00:38:37.270
like you not understanding like
00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:39.270
>> yeah life is hard marriage is hard I
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:41.030
just got married last year I'm coming up
00:38:41.040 --> 00:38:43.270
on uh don't know
00:38:43.280 --> 00:38:44.470
>> oneyear anniversary
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:46.950
>> don't know what that looks like
00:38:46.960 --> 00:38:48.710
>> but jumped into it and trying to be the
00:38:48.720 --> 00:38:50.069
best version of yourself in it
00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:51.430
>> and I'm going to tell you this last year
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:53.030
has been harder than the last seven
00:38:53.040 --> 00:38:55.510
years we've been together.
00:38:55.520 --> 00:38:57.750
>> But am I going to run off and take some?
00:38:57.760 --> 00:38:59.589
>> I might throw out some empty threats and
00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:01.030
be like, I'm leaving. I'm going to get
00:39:01.040 --> 00:39:02.470
an apartment. But am I really going to
00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:03.990
do that? Hell no.
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.349
>> You know what I mean? I'm just
00:39:05.359 --> 00:39:07.190
processing. That's that trauma [ __ ] that
00:39:07.200 --> 00:39:07.430
I'm doing.
00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:08.470
>> I'm just going to tell you that's the
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:09.589
trauma [ __ ] you deal with.
00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:11.030
>> Yeah. And it ain't nobody's fault.
00:39:11.040 --> 00:39:12.470
>> Ain't nobody fault, man. And and
00:39:12.480 --> 00:39:14.470
sometime
00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:17.190
people have to understand that that that
00:39:17.200 --> 00:39:20.630
that because like for me right in this
00:39:20.640 --> 00:39:23.109
in this version of who I am and how I'm
00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:27.109
seen to my community to the people in my
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:29.510
life to the people that I go all out
00:39:29.520 --> 00:39:34.870
for. Um they may have this new um
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:37.589
expectation of me based on this new
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:39.750
person that I've
00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:42.150
become.
00:39:42.160 --> 00:39:44.230
That don't mean I don't got a whole lot
00:39:44.240 --> 00:39:46.470
of [ __ ] going on inside of me that's
00:39:46.480 --> 00:39:49.190
going to allow me to make a bad choice
00:39:49.200 --> 00:39:52.230
of decision every now and then.
00:39:52.240 --> 00:39:53.349
You know, another thing I want to really
00:39:53.359 --> 00:39:55.829
tap on too is like don't think that I
00:39:55.839 --> 00:39:58.150
excommunicated your ass because I don't
00:39:58.160 --> 00:40:00.630
come around no more. Sometimes I just
00:40:00.640 --> 00:40:02.550
can't go back to them places
00:40:02.560 --> 00:40:03.270
>> for me.
00:40:03.280 --> 00:40:05.030
>> You know what I mean? Like for me. Yeah.
00:40:05.040 --> 00:40:06.950
If you want to see continue to see me
00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:09.270
shining and doing the things I'm doing,
00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:10.790
I got to have certain boundaries.
00:40:10.800 --> 00:40:12.310
>> I got to have And people that don't have
00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:13.829
boundaries don't understand boundaries.
00:40:13.839 --> 00:40:15.829
>> I got to understand that I can't go back
00:40:15.839 --> 00:40:17.829
to this block, this radius of the block
00:40:17.839 --> 00:40:19.910
that I used to be confined to.
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:21.670
>> I can't do that.
00:40:21.680 --> 00:40:24.630
>> And you know what I man I I I deal with
00:40:24.640 --> 00:40:29.430
that. I deal with that daily.
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:33.349
A person that say life is about growth.
00:40:33.359 --> 00:40:34.950
Come on. Plant the seed, water it, and
00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:37.349
see the tree grow. Baby, come on.
00:40:37.359 --> 00:40:39.589
>> Because you haven't because you haven't
00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:40.390
grown.
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:41.670
>> Yeah.
00:40:41.680 --> 00:40:44.630
>> Don't make me where I supposed to not
00:40:44.640 --> 00:40:47.430
grow because of that. So, if I don't
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:49.190
hang out where you hang out no more,
00:40:49.200 --> 00:40:51.510
that don't mean I don't care about it.
00:40:51.520 --> 00:40:54.390
That just mean I can't allow myself to
00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:58.309
go back to something that has so much of
00:40:58.319 --> 00:41:02.230
a challenge and times in my life. I
00:41:02.240 --> 00:41:04.630
can't go hang out there with you because
00:41:04.640 --> 00:41:07.190
when I get there, the things that it
00:41:07.200 --> 00:41:09.990
takes for me to be able to be okay in
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:13.349
that environment consistent me going to
00:41:13.359 --> 00:41:16.710
a a state of mind that no longer lives
00:41:16.720 --> 00:41:18.870
inside of me.
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:21.430
So now I come down here with you, I got
00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:24.309
to go back to thinking, man, do I got to
00:41:24.319 --> 00:41:27.030
get a pistol? I got to do this. I got to
00:41:27.040 --> 00:41:28.870
do that. Oh man, I didn't ride four or
00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:31.430
five cats around here. So now I got to
00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:33.109
be when the person, what's up with you?
00:41:33.119 --> 00:41:35.589
You I got to be a version of myself I
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:37.670
don't want to be. I'm not coming here or
00:41:37.680 --> 00:41:39.670
I'm not hanging out here because I don't
00:41:39.680 --> 00:41:41.589
care about here.
00:41:41.599 --> 00:41:43.190
>> This place is scary for me,
00:41:43.200 --> 00:41:44.790
>> man.
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:47.190
>> And the only way for me to be sane is to
00:41:47.200 --> 00:41:49.589
be away from that place and come through
00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:52.150
this place every now and then trying to
00:41:52.160 --> 00:41:54.710
trying to spread the message of what
00:41:54.720 --> 00:41:57.750
being away from here looks like.
00:41:57.760 --> 00:41:59.510
But if you expect me to stay here with
00:41:59.520 --> 00:42:03.109
you, I rather you hate me
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:05.430
than me come be accepted by you for
00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:06.550
being down here with you.
00:42:06.560 --> 00:42:09.990
>> Cuz I fell so hard in the depths of hell
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:12.870
hitting that cold concrete
00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:14.069
trying to be accepted.
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:14.870
>> You get what I'm saying?
00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:16.630
>> Being afraid of being hated.
00:42:16.640 --> 00:42:18.309
>> And I, you know, I deal with that [ __ ]
00:42:18.319 --> 00:42:19.270
today.
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:21.190
>> Still trying to be accepted.
00:42:21.200 --> 00:42:22.230
>> You know what I mean? That's how my
00:42:22.240 --> 00:42:24.309
disease has been active lately. I just
00:42:24.319 --> 00:42:25.990
want to be accepted. Oh my god, I want
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:27.190
these clicks. I want this. Don't want
00:42:27.200 --> 00:42:28.870
that. I want Oh, I'm afraid about what
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:30.470
people think about me. [ __ ] that.
00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:31.990
>> You see what I came in today?
00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:33.670
>> Yeah. And I know you getting over a
00:42:33.680 --> 00:42:34.390
cold, man.
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:36.069
>> I don't win nothing but veins, man. I
00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:36.550
don't
00:42:36.560 --> 00:42:39.190
>> That guy almost he that [ __ ] I'm going
00:42:39.200 --> 00:42:39.829
through some things.
00:42:39.839 --> 00:42:41.030
>> Hey, that [ __ ] knocked you down like
00:42:41.040 --> 00:42:41.910
Frasier, baby.
00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:44.230
>> And you know what? You know, you know
00:42:44.240 --> 00:42:47.270
what I contribute to being able to be
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:50.630
okay? how I'm feeling right now had
00:42:50.640 --> 00:42:52.790
don't even
00:42:52.800 --> 00:42:56.069
have 1% of comparison
00:42:56.079 --> 00:42:58.710
to what I did to myself.
00:42:58.720 --> 00:43:00.950
>> And if I'm over here, if I was able to
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:03.589
overcome the damage I did to me,
00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:03.910
>> yeah,
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:04.870
>> this [ __ ] going to pass,
00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:05.589
>> man. For real.
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:07.670
>> I sit here, sleep, headaches, this,
00:43:07.680 --> 00:43:09.430
that, it's going to go away as long as I
00:43:09.440 --> 00:43:11.510
keep fighting to try to make sure that
00:43:11.520 --> 00:43:13.109
it does.
00:43:13.119 --> 00:43:15.030
>> But man,
00:43:15.040 --> 00:43:17.589
ain't nothing ain't nothing worse. Yeah.
00:43:17.599 --> 00:43:20.150
>> Then being baldled up on a bull pin
00:43:20.160 --> 00:43:21.109
floor.
00:43:21.119 --> 00:43:21.990
>> Sick.
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:22.630
>> I'm trying to
00:43:22.640 --> 00:43:25.510
>> Why people coming in and out of this
00:43:25.520 --> 00:43:27.829
bullpin that you know somebody you don't
00:43:27.839 --> 00:43:30.470
know if somebody you did dirt to is
00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:33.349
going to pop that door and you don't
00:43:33.359 --> 00:43:36.150
have the ability, the strength, and
00:43:36.160 --> 00:43:38.309
nothing else inside of you to even fight
00:43:38.319 --> 00:43:40.790
that battle. That's the worst vulnerable
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:43.510
feeling in the world, bro. is to be in a
00:43:43.520 --> 00:43:46.309
bull pin and see somebody that you done
00:43:46.319 --> 00:43:48.870
done something to and they got all they
00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:50.309
and you like
00:43:50.319 --> 00:43:51.190
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:51.200 --> 00:43:52.230
>> You get what I'm saying?
00:43:52.240 --> 00:43:54.150
>> I do one.
00:43:54.160 --> 00:43:56.630
>> So if I can So this other little [ __ ]
00:43:56.640 --> 00:43:59.349
that I GO THROUGH IN LIFE, BRO,
00:43:59.359 --> 00:44:00.870
>> don't mean nothing, man.
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:01.829
>> Cuz you laying on that
00:44:01.839 --> 00:44:02.630
>> try that.
00:44:02.640 --> 00:44:04.150
>> He laying on that COLD CONCRETE.
00:44:04.160 --> 00:44:05.190
>> TRY THAT.
00:44:05.200 --> 00:44:06.710
>> HEY, AND YOU'LL be lucky to have a
00:44:06.720 --> 00:44:09.750
>> from bullpin to bull pin to bullpin.
00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:12.069
>> Mhm. wondering every time that doorpo
00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:14.550
crack, is somebody gonna walk in here I
00:44:14.560 --> 00:44:16.550
done something to and I know I ain't got
00:44:16.560 --> 00:44:20.230
to lick a fight into this assump.
00:44:20.240 --> 00:44:21.829
>> I'm just glad I got some people in here
00:44:21.839 --> 00:44:24.309
that care about me. That's go home but
00:44:24.319 --> 00:44:25.910
get get back bro. We got you, bro. We
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:27.589
ain't going nobody do nothing to you. If
00:44:27.599 --> 00:44:28.790
a [ __ ] want to see you about
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:29.750
something you done, they going to have
00:44:29.760 --> 00:44:31.190
to see you when you back on the same
00:44:31.200 --> 00:44:32.710
level of playing field that they on.
00:44:32.720 --> 00:44:33.750
>> Yeah. 1000%.
00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:34.390
>> You feel me?
00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:37.510
>> And that see and that's that character.
00:44:37.520 --> 00:44:38.710
That's that character. that character
00:44:38.720 --> 00:44:40.150
because no matter if I was doing wrong,
00:44:40.160 --> 00:44:41.349
I still kept my character.
00:44:41.359 --> 00:44:42.550
>> That's that character. And that's that's
00:44:42.560 --> 00:44:43.910
where I was talking about earlier is
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:46.230
that people don't understand like you
00:44:46.240 --> 00:44:47.829
ain't living to keep your opinion out of
00:44:47.839 --> 00:44:49.270
it. You don't understand that like the
00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:50.630
people that's out there. Yeah, we might
00:44:50.640 --> 00:44:52.230
be doing bad. We might be doing this,
00:44:52.240 --> 00:44:53.910
but we do have a character.
00:44:53.920 --> 00:44:54.870
>> Keep our character together.
00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:56.390
>> You know what I'm saying? I might not be
00:44:56.400 --> 00:44:58.790
cool with him, but I'm cool with you.
00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:00.870
And when I'm cool with you, like it's a
00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:02.630
different type of loyalty. You know what
00:45:02.640 --> 00:45:04.150
I'm saying? Like we going to break bread
00:45:04.160 --> 00:45:05.510
together. We going to eat together.
00:45:05.520 --> 00:45:07.670
[ __ ] You I'mma get this half a pack of
00:45:07.680 --> 00:45:09.030
ramen and I'm going to take another
00:45:09.040 --> 00:45:11.109
pack. You know what I'm saying?
00:45:11.119 --> 00:45:13.270
>> The thing about it, right? Nine times
00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:14.790
out of 10,
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:16.470
>> when you see somebody you've done
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:19.109
something to, when they see you doing
00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:21.270
better,
00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:25.030
that's that's their payback for what you
00:45:25.040 --> 00:45:28.069
did to them
00:45:28.079 --> 00:45:29.910
because they able to see you
00:45:29.920 --> 00:45:33.990
differently. Now, I know. So, I know
00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:35.910
that person that you are right now
00:45:35.920 --> 00:45:38.630
wouldn't have done what you did to me.
00:45:38.640 --> 00:45:40.950
So, I'mma let that go because now I see
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:43.270
you in a different light. I only seen
00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:45.270
you in a dark light before, but now I
00:45:45.280 --> 00:45:46.950
see you in your shining light.
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:48.150
>> Yeah.
00:45:48.160 --> 00:45:53.750
>> No. And just to know like, you know, it
00:45:53.760 --> 00:45:55.510
I just I'm thinking about it right now.
00:45:55.520 --> 00:45:57.510
Laying on that cold concrete, man. Being
00:45:57.520 --> 00:45:59.109
lucky if you had a roll of tissue to put
00:45:59.119 --> 00:45:59.589
your head.
00:45:59.599 --> 00:46:01.270
>> Head under, man. They don't know what
00:46:01.280 --> 00:46:02.470
you say. What's your What's your slogan?
00:46:02.480 --> 00:46:05.030
What's your new slogan? Don't talk what?
00:46:05.040 --> 00:46:06.309
>> Oh, if you ain't lived in it, keep your
00:46:06.319 --> 00:46:07.910
opinion out of it.
00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:09.030
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:09.040 --> 00:46:10.870
>> Man, I'mma use that one, man. If you
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:12.390
ain't lived in it, keep your opinion out
00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:12.870
of it.
00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:14.630
>> Yeah. It's your opinion. Don't come from
00:46:14.640 --> 00:46:15.750
a place of being there.
00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:17.589
>> Hey, you know what I'm saying? And it's
00:46:17.599 --> 00:46:19.190
good. You know what I mean? But like I
00:46:19.200 --> 00:46:20.550
want to talk to you a little bit. I know
00:46:20.560 --> 00:46:21.990
your drug addiction. How old was you
00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:23.510
when you first took took your first
00:46:23.520 --> 00:46:23.910
drug?
00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:26.150
>> Probably like 20, man. When I be now
00:46:26.160 --> 00:46:27.589
wait, we gonna say smoking weed or
00:46:27.599 --> 00:46:29.589
something that younger, but I'm talking
00:46:29.599 --> 00:46:31.349
about I'm talking about when I first
00:46:31.359 --> 00:46:33.190
started with destroying
00:46:33.200 --> 00:46:33.990
>> the hair.
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:35.030
>> 20
00:46:35.520 --> 00:46:36.069
>> 20.
00:46:36.079 --> 00:46:37.030
>> Yeah.
00:46:37.040 --> 00:46:39.430
>> And then it did it ever escalate to like
00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:44.630
shooting it or it was just all to it.
00:46:44.640 --> 00:46:45.829
>> See all them tracks?
00:46:45.839 --> 00:46:47.430
>> Yes, sir.
00:46:47.440 --> 00:46:50.309
>> See all them tracks?
00:46:51.599 --> 00:46:51.990
>> Yeah.
00:46:52.000 --> 00:46:52.950
>> You want me to tell you where them
00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:55.670
tracks come from? from thinking that I
00:46:55.680 --> 00:46:56.950
was a
00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:57.829
>> a phabotamist.
00:46:57.839 --> 00:47:00.550
>> A phabotamist when I didn't know nothing
00:47:00.560 --> 00:47:02.550
about
00:47:02.560 --> 00:47:04.550
what it looked like to be one and
00:47:04.560 --> 00:47:05.910
blowing all my veins up.
00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:06.150
>> Yeah.
00:47:06.160 --> 00:47:07.430
>> So, yes, I've been there.
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:09.430
>> Yeah. All the way to the deepest to the
00:47:09.440 --> 00:47:09.829
darkest.
00:47:09.839 --> 00:47:11.349
>> Deepest darkest. I ain't scared to [ __ ]
00:47:11.359 --> 00:47:12.470
man. That's what I've been through.
00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:14.309
>> Absolutely. Yeah.
00:47:14.319 --> 00:47:15.670
>> Neck shots, all that.
00:47:15.680 --> 00:47:17.349
>> Hey, we don't look like what we've been
00:47:17.359 --> 00:47:18.790
through. Next shots, all that.
00:47:18.800 --> 00:47:19.990
>> Hey, I want to tell you I want to give
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:21.829
you your flowers, too, cuz your beard on
00:47:21.839 --> 00:47:22.630
point, man.
00:47:22.640 --> 00:47:24.150
>> Yours is nice, too. I wish I can get
00:47:24.160 --> 00:47:26.630
mine kind of that long. But I I once it
00:47:26.640 --> 00:47:27.030
start
00:47:27.040 --> 00:47:28.470
>> look like a miniature mine though.
00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:29.829
>> Once it start getting there, it get
00:47:29.839 --> 00:47:32.069
rough. It get mine. So the grays the
00:47:32.079 --> 00:47:35.750
grays change the texture of your hair.
00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:38.069
>> So it makes it like will brillow.
00:47:38.079 --> 00:47:38.550
>> Okay.
00:47:38.560 --> 00:47:40.950
>> So it it really be real rough, man. But
00:47:40.960 --> 00:47:43.589
man, I appreciate it, man. Um I know you
00:47:43.599 --> 00:47:45.990
know we we on the you know on the time
00:47:46.000 --> 00:47:47.030
thing, man. And um
00:47:47.040 --> 00:47:48.069
>> No, we we good.
00:47:48.079 --> 00:47:49.589
>> But what I really want to tell you, man,
00:47:49.599 --> 00:47:51.190
is that um
00:47:51.200 --> 00:47:53.430
>> Oh, we still we we sliding. Okay. Is
00:47:53.440 --> 00:47:56.710
that I I um really what I appreciate the
00:47:56.720 --> 00:48:00.950
most from this opportunity
00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:04.550
is the opportunity that we're having
00:48:04.560 --> 00:48:06.309
to help a whole lot of people that's
00:48:06.319 --> 00:48:07.910
been through what we've been through
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:10.950
that might not be at a place in their
00:48:10.960 --> 00:48:13.510
life yet where they're
00:48:13.520 --> 00:48:15.109
willing,
00:48:15.119 --> 00:48:18.230
open, or strong enough to share with
00:48:18.240 --> 00:48:20.069
other people.
00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:22.950
>> No. And that was the follow-up question.
00:48:22.960 --> 00:48:24.950
Um, because everything leads into
00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:26.549
another one. You know, I'm pretty sure
00:48:26.559 --> 00:48:29.109
you a chess player.
00:48:29.119 --> 00:48:30.790
>> Would I say, would I be wrong if I said
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:32.069
that you wasn't a chess player?
00:48:32.079 --> 00:48:33.670
>> Know to push your P and move a ruck.
00:48:33.680 --> 00:48:35.349
>> Okay. Yeah. So, it's always, you know,
00:48:35.359 --> 00:48:37.829
we we three steps ahead. So, it's like,
00:48:37.839 --> 00:48:39.190
you know, from the time you took your
00:48:39.200 --> 00:48:40.790
first drug when you smoking weed,
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:44.950
probably early 12, 13, probably 14. Same
00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:46.790
with me. I was homeless at 13. You know
00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:48.390
what I'm saying? Like, [ __ ] Mom would
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:49.670
go to prison. And I would had to sleep
00:48:49.680 --> 00:48:51.109
on the street because of the [ __ ] I was
00:48:51.119 --> 00:48:52.470
involved in. You know what I'm saying?
00:48:52.480 --> 00:48:53.589
They didn't want none of that popping
00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:53.829
off.
00:48:53.839 --> 00:48:55.510
>> Yeah. And at other family members
00:48:55.520 --> 00:48:56.470
houses, I
00:48:56.480 --> 00:48:57.750
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like,
00:48:57.760 --> 00:48:59.270
oh, no, you can't come here. Oh, but he
00:48:59.280 --> 00:49:00.790
can. So, it's like now I'm still trying
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:03.270
to be accepted. Um, so when we, you
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:05.349
know, young, whatever, you know, first
00:49:05.359 --> 00:49:06.870
drug or something cuz what I want to do
00:49:06.880 --> 00:49:08.470
is I want to speak to the kids out there
00:49:08.480 --> 00:49:10.069
for a minute. It's like, you know what I
00:49:10.079 --> 00:49:11.829
mean? You might be struggling right now.
00:49:11.839 --> 00:49:14.150
You might be wanting to be accepted. You
00:49:14.160 --> 00:49:17.190
might not know what to do and you still
00:49:17.200 --> 00:49:18.630
contemplating because if you already
00:49:18.640 --> 00:49:20.470
jumped off the porch then you you've
00:49:20.480 --> 00:49:21.910
already started making grown man
00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:22.790
decisions.
00:49:22.800 --> 00:49:24.630
>> Yeah. If you know it or not.
00:49:24.640 --> 00:49:25.270
>> You know what I'm saying?
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:26.150
>> If you know it or not.
00:49:26.160 --> 00:49:27.430
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've already
00:49:27.440 --> 00:49:27.990
and I'm telling
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.470
>> you already made a choice. Look I got So
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:31.510
I want to say that and I don't want to
00:49:31.520 --> 00:49:32.309
take away from what you're trying to
00:49:32.319 --> 00:49:33.430
say. Right. Go ahead. Go ahead. So this
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:34.710
what I want to say. I made a post right
00:49:34.720 --> 00:49:36.950
and it said this right. Right now if you
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:40.230
were 17 and you was at school and we was
00:49:40.240 --> 00:49:41.829
going on a field trip tomorrow what
00:49:41.839 --> 00:49:44.549
would you have to do?
00:49:44.559 --> 00:49:46.470
You had to get your guardian slip
00:49:46.480 --> 00:49:48.069
signed. You would have had to get your
00:49:48.079 --> 00:49:48.870
parents' permission.
00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:52.950
>> Do you know why? Because you're not
00:49:52.960 --> 00:49:57.190
responsible enough from society to be
00:49:57.200 --> 00:49:59.990
able to say, "Okay." Yes. Until you're
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.109
18.
00:50:01.119 --> 00:50:02.309
>> Yeah.
00:50:02.319 --> 00:50:03.750
>> These kids ain't getting permission
00:50:03.760 --> 00:50:05.430
slips from their parents to run in these
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:06.150
streets, man.
00:50:06.160 --> 00:50:06.470
>> No.
00:50:06.480 --> 00:50:08.150
>> They turn into drug addicts. They turn
00:50:08.160 --> 00:50:09.910
into gangsters. They're turn They're
00:50:09.920 --> 00:50:13.030
not. Once the permission slip is
00:50:13.040 --> 00:50:15.910
removed,
00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:17.829
once you think that you're bigger than a
00:50:17.839 --> 00:50:20.470
permission slip,
00:50:20.480 --> 00:50:22.309
that's when you begin to slip.
00:50:22.319 --> 00:50:26.150
>> Yeah.
00:50:26.160 --> 00:50:27.349
Come on, boy.
00:50:27.359 --> 00:50:29.430
>> Because you ain't going to your parents
00:50:29.440 --> 00:50:30.790
about what you going through.
00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:34.630
>> No, you're not. You hiding from them
00:50:34.640 --> 00:50:36.870
what you're making choices and decisions
00:50:36.880 --> 00:50:40.309
for and you're not allowing them to
00:50:40.319 --> 00:50:42.790
guide you any longer.
00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:44.950
>> A permission ship was put in place for a
00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:46.470
reason.
00:50:46.480 --> 00:50:47.990
>> It was so you wouldn't slip.
00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:49.589
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. For sure.
00:50:49.599 --> 00:50:52.069
>> You get what I'm saying? So, so a lot of
00:50:52.079 --> 00:50:55.430
our kids are making adult decisions not
00:50:55.440 --> 00:50:57.430
understanding the permission slip part
00:50:57.440 --> 00:50:58.390
of that.
00:50:58.400 --> 00:50:58.790
>> Yeah.
00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:00.630
>> That's like saying to big homie, right?
00:51:00.640 --> 00:51:02.470
Say, say you're a big homie or whatever.
00:51:02.480 --> 00:51:04.549
You know, we the guy outside that the
00:51:04.559 --> 00:51:06.870
kids look up to. We got a got a fancy
00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:09.030
car, two, three good pretty girls that
00:51:09.040 --> 00:51:12.069
pull up
00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:14.069
before we start doing [ __ ] that don't
00:51:14.079 --> 00:51:15.670
make sense to what we supposed to be
00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:19.030
doing. We don't go run that by him.
00:51:19.040 --> 00:51:21.910
We just start doing it. These kids are
00:51:21.920 --> 00:51:23.589
doing a lot of stuff in life that they
00:51:23.599 --> 00:51:26.069
just start doing without running it by
00:51:26.079 --> 00:51:30.549
nobody. That's why mentorship is so
00:51:30.559 --> 00:51:33.030
important because somebody need to be in
00:51:33.040 --> 00:51:36.549
place in that person that child's life
00:51:36.559 --> 00:51:39.270
that they can go be open to without
00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:40.870
judgment
00:51:40.880 --> 00:51:43.510
to get the right feedback from 1,000%.
00:51:43.520 --> 00:51:44.710
And you know what's the one important
00:51:44.720 --> 00:51:45.829
cuz I know you mentioned something
00:51:45.839 --> 00:51:47.750
earlier and it crossed my mind again.
00:51:47.760 --> 00:51:49.750
The one important thing that has to do
00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:51.349
with the mentorship and all of that cuz
00:51:51.359 --> 00:51:53.030
all of that [ __ ] sounds real good.
00:51:53.040 --> 00:51:55.270
Right. It sounds real good and all of
00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:56.950
this stuff we talking sounds real
00:51:56.960 --> 00:51:59.109
>> right good
00:51:59.119 --> 00:52:02.150
>> but are they ready to accept
00:52:02.160 --> 00:52:05.589
that and you know how it happens is they
00:52:05.599 --> 00:52:08.069
might not be ready to accept it but just
00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:10.549
as persistent as they are when they like
00:52:10.559 --> 00:52:11.829
I want to do this I want to do this I
00:52:11.839 --> 00:52:15.109
want to do this it's upon us as the
00:52:15.119 --> 00:52:17.750
mentors and the good examples to be just
00:52:17.760 --> 00:52:20.470
as persistent but be showing by action
00:52:20.480 --> 00:52:24.150
right showing by action is
00:52:24.160 --> 00:52:27.270
The most important role of a mentor
00:52:27.280 --> 00:52:27.910
>> being real
00:52:27.920 --> 00:52:28.950
>> is planting seeds.
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:30.710
>> Yeah. Planting seeds.
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:33.190
>> That mean that what you plant it might
00:52:33.200 --> 00:52:35.349
not grow today.
00:52:35.359 --> 00:52:37.030
>> But it has the opportunity to grow
00:52:37.040 --> 00:52:38.230
because it's planted.
00:52:38.240 --> 00:52:39.190
>> Yeah. For sure.
00:52:39.200 --> 00:52:39.670
>> Right.
00:52:39.680 --> 00:52:42.790
>> Mhm. As long as you continue to water it
00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:49.430
daily by vision, by sound, and by
00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:51.670
a a followup,
00:52:51.680 --> 00:52:53.829
at some point that kid going to get what
00:52:53.839 --> 00:52:56.710
you're telling them. Because
00:52:56.720 --> 00:52:58.309
let me tell you this, right? The same
00:52:58.319 --> 00:53:01.430
person that's telling the kid
00:53:01.440 --> 00:53:04.069
not to do this,
00:53:04.079 --> 00:53:06.309
it's another person who looks just like
00:53:06.319 --> 00:53:08.790
that person telling that same kid to do
00:53:08.800 --> 00:53:12.790
that. They're both adults.
00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:15.109
So, one adult is taking part in my
00:53:15.119 --> 00:53:17.910
destruction and one adult is trying to
00:53:17.920 --> 00:53:20.870
take part in my reconstruction.
00:53:20.880 --> 00:53:22.950
>> Mhm.
00:53:22.960 --> 00:53:27.589
>> But who am I to tell a kid
00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:30.630
not to use a gun when it's another adult
00:53:30.640 --> 00:53:34.069
saying here go a gun to go kill with? We
00:53:34.079 --> 00:53:36.790
confusing them
00:53:36.800 --> 00:53:39.349
with our adultship
00:53:39.359 --> 00:53:44.630
about being uh in position to be a
00:53:44.640 --> 00:53:46.710
destructive role model or a positive
00:53:46.720 --> 00:53:50.549
role model. We look the same
00:53:50.559 --> 00:53:53.750
because we both do to them. You get what
00:53:53.760 --> 00:53:55.270
I'm saying? So yeah, you might be
00:53:55.280 --> 00:53:57.589
telling me to do right, but you telling
00:53:57.599 --> 00:53:58.950
me I should listen to you because you
00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:00.710
grown, right?
00:54:00.720 --> 00:54:02.230
this other T telling me I should listen
00:54:02.240 --> 00:54:04.069
to him because he grown too. But he
00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:05.829
telling me all the [ __ ] I need to hear
00:54:05.839 --> 00:54:07.670
that's going to be able to manipulate my
00:54:07.680 --> 00:54:09.750
childhike mind to do some [ __ ] that he
00:54:09.760 --> 00:54:11.270
no longer want to do because he's grown.
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:12.710
>> Cuz he got what I want though.
00:54:12.720 --> 00:54:13.670
>> Cuz he got what I want.
00:54:13.680 --> 00:54:15.030
>> Cuz he got what I want. And that's
00:54:15.040 --> 00:54:15.670
attractive.
00:54:15.680 --> 00:54:16.470
>> You're attractive.
00:54:16.480 --> 00:54:18.630
>> Yeah. And I always said this too early
00:54:18.640 --> 00:54:20.230
in recovery when I started working and
00:54:20.240 --> 00:54:23.430
it is that working with the men is
00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:25.589
>> cuz even men coming from jail,
00:54:25.599 --> 00:54:26.710
>> right? Right.
00:54:26.720 --> 00:54:29.349
still had that childlike mind and they
00:54:29.359 --> 00:54:31.670
still trying to figure it out. And then
00:54:31.680 --> 00:54:33.349
Yeah. And it's like, okay, but you want
00:54:33.359 --> 00:54:34.870
to be treated like a man, but hold on.
00:54:34.880 --> 00:54:36.309
We got to do something. We got to what
00:54:36.319 --> 00:54:38.470
we got to do is reconstruct your whole
00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:39.270
thinking process
00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:40.150
>> because you don't even know what that
00:54:40.160 --> 00:54:40.549
looks like.
00:54:40.559 --> 00:54:41.589
>> You know what I'm saying? We got to we
00:54:41.599 --> 00:54:42.950
got to take all of the feelings out of
00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:45.109
it and just use our brain for months.
00:54:45.119 --> 00:54:46.630
>> You know what I'm saying? And then at
00:54:46.640 --> 00:54:47.910
the end of the day, and then I used to
00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:49.430
always tell this too, is like some
00:54:49.440 --> 00:54:50.950
people still would not get it and they
00:54:50.960 --> 00:54:52.069
would leave. And then they would come
00:54:52.079 --> 00:54:53.910
back and they would leave. And it was on
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:56.870
me to um do the assessment and bring
00:54:56.880 --> 00:54:58.390
people in to this program,
00:54:58.400 --> 00:54:59.109
>> right?
00:54:59.119 --> 00:55:01.030
>> Cuz I went from digging the dumpsters,
00:55:01.040 --> 00:55:02.870
stealing cars, shooting dope, sleeping
00:55:02.880 --> 00:55:05.670
on the park benches, all of this [ __ ] to
00:55:05.680 --> 00:55:07.510
being the one responsible to be bringing
00:55:07.520 --> 00:55:09.270
people in this program that I graduated
00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:10.390
from.
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:11.829
>> And I used to tell them all the time
00:55:11.839 --> 00:55:13.670
like, "Hey, I got three questions for
00:55:13.680 --> 00:55:15.589
you. What do you want to do with your
00:55:15.599 --> 00:55:17.270
life?
00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:18.150
>> What are you going to use this
00:55:18.160 --> 00:55:19.910
opportunity for? And are you just trying
00:55:19.920 --> 00:55:21.510
to get out of jail?
00:55:21.520 --> 00:55:23.510
>> And this is Or, you know, even people
00:55:23.520 --> 00:55:24.710
like
00:55:24.720 --> 00:55:26.230
>> coming off the streets, too.
00:55:26.240 --> 00:55:26.790
>> Right. Right.
00:55:26.800 --> 00:55:28.470
>> You just need somewhere to sleep. Yeah.
00:55:28.480 --> 00:55:29.990
>> You just need somewhere to sleep. Why?
00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:31.829
>> Which is fine. Yeah. What What is that?
00:55:31.839 --> 00:55:32.870
Right. Cuz if you just want to get out
00:55:32.880 --> 00:55:33.990
of jail, it's cool. I'm going sign a
00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:35.349
slip before you get out because I know
00:55:35.359 --> 00:55:36.950
when you get here, we going to plant
00:55:36.960 --> 00:55:38.790
enough seeds in you and you going to
00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:40.309
feel like, "Oh [ __ ] this where I needed
00:55:40.319 --> 00:55:41.430
to be the whole time." Right. Right.
00:55:41.440 --> 00:55:43.030
>> But then some of the people would leave
00:55:43.040 --> 00:55:44.470
>> and they be like Justin why do you keep
00:55:44.480 --> 00:55:45.829
doing this? And I says you know
00:55:45.839 --> 00:55:47.510
>> cuz at some point somebody going to get
00:55:47.520 --> 00:55:48.150
it.
00:55:48.160 --> 00:55:49.670
>> I wouldn't give them the opportunity.
00:55:49.680 --> 00:55:50.630
>> Yeah.
00:55:50.640 --> 00:55:52.789
>> You know and I'm like this too low. And
00:55:52.799 --> 00:55:54.309
then I just go and then they would be
00:55:54.319 --> 00:55:55.990
like well I keep trying to help this
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:57.270
person and they're not listening. What
00:55:57.280 --> 00:55:59.750
would you do? And I say help not wanted
00:55:59.760 --> 00:56:01.750
>> is help not needed.
00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:03.670
>> You know what I mean? Like and they like
00:56:03.680 --> 00:56:05.589
what? And I'm like help not wanted is
00:56:05.599 --> 00:56:07.190
help not needed. Now, I'm not saying
00:56:07.200 --> 00:56:09.990
that if you feel just to want to go out
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:11.670
there and continue to help people, I'm
00:56:11.680 --> 00:56:13.030
never going to take that purpose and
00:56:13.040 --> 00:56:14.710
shine from you because I'm always going
00:56:14.720 --> 00:56:16.470
to be the helper. I'm always going to
00:56:16.480 --> 00:56:17.670
help people.
00:56:17.680 --> 00:56:19.349
>> But I'm going to tell you right now, you
00:56:19.359 --> 00:56:20.630
going to continue to keep hitting that
00:56:20.640 --> 00:56:21.990
brick wall
00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:23.990
>> because they not ready yet. And then
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:25.349
what you doing is you throwing them
00:56:25.359 --> 00:56:27.030
seeds out there
00:56:27.040 --> 00:56:28.630
>> and you just graze through it a couple
00:56:28.640 --> 00:56:30.230
times cuz I work with kids too.
00:56:30.240 --> 00:56:31.030
>> Right. Right. Right.
00:56:31.040 --> 00:56:32.710
>> Substance use counseling for the kids,
00:56:32.720 --> 00:56:34.309
enrichment and all of that. And I even
00:56:34.319 --> 00:56:36.069
did a backpack drive. right
00:56:36.079 --> 00:56:37.829
>> in Richmond
00:56:37.839 --> 00:56:39.349
backpacks, all of this stuff for the
00:56:39.359 --> 00:56:41.349
kids in Richmond just last year, last
00:56:41.359 --> 00:56:43.030
August, you know what I'm saying?
00:56:43.040 --> 00:56:46.230
>> Um, and because giving back to them and
00:56:46.240 --> 00:56:48.309
understanding like, hey, look,
00:56:48.319 --> 00:56:49.430
>> they like, "Hey, you the one with the
00:56:49.440 --> 00:56:51.109
sprayground backpacks."
00:56:51.119 --> 00:56:52.150
>> You know what I'm saying?
00:56:52.160 --> 00:56:58.390
>> Reme
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:00.150
you you Oh, you don't you don't talk
00:57:00.160 --> 00:57:01.190
like you look.
00:57:01.200 --> 00:57:02.710
>> You know what? You know what I think
00:57:02.720 --> 00:57:04.710
helped me the most? And this this a
00:57:04.720 --> 00:57:07.589
topic that we haven't covered, right? Um
00:57:07.599 --> 00:57:11.990
I'll transition into it for us. Um
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:13.510
how I got clean.
00:57:13.520 --> 00:57:14.470
>> Oh yeah, we was getting there.
00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:15.589
>> You get what I'm saying? Um
00:57:15.599 --> 00:57:17.190
>> the turning point. What was the turning
00:57:17.200 --> 00:57:19.510
point? Let me just ask you that.
00:57:19.520 --> 00:57:21.030
>> All through all that destruction cuz it
00:57:21.040 --> 00:57:22.710
was three questions after the last one I
00:57:22.720 --> 00:57:24.630
answered and we cuz this deep
00:57:24.640 --> 00:57:26.230
conversation exactly what you asked for.
00:57:26.240 --> 00:57:28.630
It was a deep conversation for sure.
00:57:28.640 --> 00:57:30.710
um when you use your first substances
00:57:30.720 --> 00:57:32.309
and then you sitting in there, what was
00:57:32.319 --> 00:57:34.950
your turning point that made you change
00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:36.789
the perspective and the thought process
00:57:36.799 --> 00:57:40.630
and becoming somebody 2011?
00:57:40.640 --> 00:57:42.390
What was that turning point that created
00:57:42.400 --> 00:57:43.510
2012?
00:57:43.520 --> 00:57:45.430
>> So I'll say 2009,
00:57:45.440 --> 00:57:45.910
>> okay,
00:57:45.920 --> 00:57:48.549
>> may have created is when the turning
00:57:48.559 --> 00:57:50.470
point may have been um
00:57:50.480 --> 00:57:51.910
>> the plant the seed was planted
00:57:51.920 --> 00:57:52.630
>> for me.
00:57:52.640 --> 00:57:52.950
>> Mhm.
00:57:52.960 --> 00:57:55.750
>> Yeah. If you plant seeds, they want to
00:57:55.760 --> 00:57:57.190
know when your seed was planted. Yeah.
00:57:57.200 --> 00:58:00.390
Um, I think
00:58:00.400 --> 00:58:01.750
my daughter.
00:58:01.760 --> 00:58:02.390
>> Okay.
00:58:02.400 --> 00:58:05.589
>> Um, I had her and remember we talked
00:58:05.599 --> 00:58:08.390
about um
00:58:08.400 --> 00:58:10.789
um both of us sharing something about
00:58:10.799 --> 00:58:14.150
finding things and blame it on someone
00:58:14.160 --> 00:58:14.870
else.
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:15.270
>> Yeah.
00:58:15.280 --> 00:58:18.069
>> My daughter used to find my things.
00:58:18.079 --> 00:58:18.950
>> Oh.
00:58:18.960 --> 00:58:22.950
>> And bring them to me.
00:58:22.960 --> 00:58:26.230
She didn't have to wonder.
00:58:26.240 --> 00:58:27.030
She knew.
00:58:27.040 --> 00:58:28.950
>> She knew.
00:58:28.960 --> 00:58:32.230
And I think one of the times, man.
00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:33.589
>> Damn, bro. That's heavy.
00:58:33.599 --> 00:58:35.510
>> I think one of the times, man, she she
00:58:35.520 --> 00:58:38.230
she she
00:58:38.240 --> 00:58:41.510
My daughter is my dog, but my world, she
00:58:41.520 --> 00:58:44.470
changed my life in so many ways, man.
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:46.150
And I'm so privileged.
00:58:46.160 --> 00:58:47.030
>> What's your daughter's name?
00:58:47.040 --> 00:58:49.030
>> Her name Yanni.
00:58:49.040 --> 00:58:49.589
>> Yiani.
00:58:49.599 --> 00:58:52.470
>> Iani. Shout out to Yani, man. Um, but I
00:58:52.480 --> 00:58:55.030
just added 2 3 years old not
00:58:55.040 --> 00:58:58.630
understanding that her love for me,
00:58:58.640 --> 00:58:59.750
>> that's my daddy
00:58:59.760 --> 00:59:01.750
>> taught me how to love me.
00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:04.549
>> Come on, man. Come on.
00:59:04.559 --> 00:59:07.190
>> Her finding my um
00:59:07.200 --> 00:59:08.549
>> Come on. Share that. Huh?
00:59:08.559 --> 00:59:11.349
>> Her finding my my utensils.
00:59:11.359 --> 00:59:12.549
>> Mhm.
00:59:12.559 --> 00:59:14.390
>> And saying, "Daddy, I'mma hide I'mma
00:59:14.400 --> 00:59:16.470
hide this from the world for you." Here,
00:59:16.480 --> 00:59:17.510
daddy.
00:59:17.520 --> 00:59:19.670
>> Yeah. at that young of a age
00:59:19.680 --> 00:59:22.789
understanding or not understanding
00:59:22.799 --> 00:59:27.750
how important that was to my change
00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:31.030
and how much it hurted me enough to want
00:59:31.040 --> 00:59:33.829
to change.
00:59:33.839 --> 00:59:35.829
You get what I'm saying? And and
00:59:35.839 --> 00:59:38.789
starting my mission on going to get
00:59:38.799 --> 00:59:42.069
methodon or trying this or trying Yeah.
00:59:42.079 --> 00:59:43.990
For two, three years I failed at getting
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:44.789
clean.
00:59:44.799 --> 00:59:47.430
>> Come on, man. But I was fighting at
00:59:47.440 --> 00:59:50.549
that. That's when my fight began. Yeah.
00:59:50.559 --> 00:59:53.030
>> My daughter created a fight in me from
00:59:53.040 --> 00:59:55.910
her loving me in a way that I never felt
00:59:55.920 --> 00:59:58.390
love from any human being in life
00:59:58.400 --> 01:00:01.510
>> by just showing me here, daddy. I'm
01:00:01.520 --> 01:00:02.950
going protect you. I don't want nobody
01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:04.710
to know that you lost this. You
01:00:04.720 --> 01:00:07.190
shouldn't have this. I know this yours.
01:00:07.200 --> 01:00:08.789
>> No matter how hard you're trying to hide
01:00:08.799 --> 01:00:11.270
this from me, I know it's yours. I'mma
01:00:11.280 --> 01:00:12.870
give it to you so nobody else be
01:00:12.880 --> 01:00:15.670
tripping on me finding it. You you get
01:00:15.680 --> 01:00:17.589
what I'm saying?
01:00:17.599 --> 01:00:19.750
Um,
01:00:19.760 --> 01:00:21.670
so I end up going to um,
01:00:21.680 --> 01:00:23.670
>> isn't God so good,
01:00:23.680 --> 01:00:24.789
>> man? Is amazing.
01:00:24.799 --> 01:00:25.430
>> Amazing.
01:00:25.440 --> 01:00:27.349
>> So, I end up going I end up catching I
01:00:27.359 --> 01:00:28.789
used to be selling bikes at the flea
01:00:28.799 --> 01:00:30.069
market. I used to be buying all the
01:00:30.079 --> 01:00:31.349
stolen bikes,
01:00:31.359 --> 01:00:33.030
>> right? Go to the flea market and sell
01:00:33.040 --> 01:00:33.670
them.
01:00:33.680 --> 01:00:35.270
>> So, I was selling them on Craigslist. I
01:00:35.280 --> 01:00:37.430
end up posting one on Craigslist that I
01:00:37.440 --> 01:00:38.470
actually stole.
01:00:38.480 --> 01:00:39.670
>> Okay. Well,
01:00:39.680 --> 01:00:42.069
>> that and um, somebody came to buy it.
01:00:42.079 --> 01:00:44.230
Bar police set me up. They got me. went
01:00:44.240 --> 01:00:46.710
to Courtney Martinez the judge say um I
01:00:46.720 --> 01:00:48.789
usually I never did this [ __ ] She said
01:00:48.799 --> 01:00:50.309
I got I got something for you today. I
01:00:50.319 --> 01:00:52.470
said what's that? She said I'm going to
01:00:52.480 --> 01:00:55.190
give you three years right or I'm going
01:00:55.200 --> 01:00:57.030
to give you 12 months at Salvation Army.
01:00:57.040 --> 01:00:59.349
Which one you want?
01:00:59.359 --> 01:01:02.069
I said can we come back to the next
01:01:02.079 --> 01:01:05.910
court date? And she said no. I need you
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:08.950
to make that decision on I think she's
01:01:08.960 --> 01:01:11.430
just telling me to decide today and you
01:01:11.440 --> 01:01:13.829
come back in 30 days and get sentenced.
01:01:13.839 --> 01:01:15.670
So I said, "Give me." I said, "I was
01:01:15.680 --> 01:01:18.069
tired. I knew I was tired. I was beat
01:01:18.079 --> 01:01:21.030
down, broke down. I was still being able
01:01:21.040 --> 01:01:23.349
to be okay, but I wasn't okay.
01:01:23.359 --> 01:01:25.589
>> Come on."
01:01:25.599 --> 01:01:27.430
>> I said, "Give me the program.
01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:28.549
>> I'll take it.
01:01:28.559 --> 01:01:30.390
>> I've turned programs down or I It was
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:31.829
easier for me to go to jail."
01:01:31.839 --> 01:01:33.349
>> Yeah.
01:01:33.359 --> 01:01:35.109
I took the program, right?
01:01:35.119 --> 01:01:36.230
>> Cuz that's hard. That's something that
01:01:36.240 --> 01:01:37.910
you told never did before.
01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:40.309
>> You know what she told me?
01:01:40.319 --> 01:01:42.230
>> All right. Well, tomorrow check yourself
01:01:42.240 --> 01:01:45.910
in. What?
01:01:45.920 --> 01:01:48.789
>> Like like she said like no, like 9:00
01:01:48.799 --> 01:01:49.990
a.m. tomorrow.
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:51.750
>> Yeah.
01:01:51.760 --> 01:01:54.069
>> I said, "Whoa,
01:01:54.079 --> 01:01:56.950
my life just changed." Um, I went to the
01:01:56.960 --> 01:01:59.349
program. I was dirty. Salvation Army
01:01:59.359 --> 01:02:01.190
downtown Oakland. Um, they sent me to
01:02:01.200 --> 01:02:02.950
Cherry Hill. pops. You went to uh
01:02:02.960 --> 01:02:03.670
Salvation Army.
01:02:03.680 --> 01:02:05.990
>> I went to Cherry Hill. Um what I got a
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:08.069
good amazing Salvation Armor story. I'm
01:02:08.079 --> 01:02:09.910
going tell you about it right now. Um
01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:15.589
went to Cherry Hill, sat there 3 4 days.
01:02:15.599 --> 01:02:19.510
In Cherry Hill, I took a shower.
01:02:19.520 --> 01:02:25.430
In that shower, as I'm as I'm showering,
01:02:25.440 --> 01:02:27.910
I'm rubbing on myself, you know, just
01:02:27.920 --> 01:02:32.150
soaping myself up.
01:02:32.160 --> 01:02:35.270
I felt myself in a way that I had never
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:38.470
felt myself before. Meaning that as I'm
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:41.510
showering, I'm crying.
01:02:41.520 --> 01:02:43.349
I'm boiling out saying, "This ain't you.
01:02:43.359 --> 01:02:46.390
You way better than this. Look how you
01:02:46.400 --> 01:02:48.150
got yourself looking. Look how you got
01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:49.910
yourself feeling, bro.
01:02:49.920 --> 01:02:51.109
>> You became one of them."
01:02:51.119 --> 01:02:53.990
>> I just start crying bull and bull and
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:55.910
bull. And
01:02:55.920 --> 01:02:58.390
>> I was I went So after that, I went to
01:02:58.400 --> 01:02:59.910
the program, right? I stayed in the
01:02:59.920 --> 01:03:03.910
program 30 like I forget three weeks. I
01:03:03.920 --> 01:03:06.309
went out to the docks. I took a wallet,
01:03:06.319 --> 01:03:07.750
brand new wallet. I didn't take it. I
01:03:07.760 --> 01:03:09.430
just needed a wallet for my stuff. I put
01:03:09.440 --> 01:03:11.510
in my back pocket. I go back in. Some
01:03:11.520 --> 01:03:12.710
days they search you when you come back
01:03:12.720 --> 01:03:14.710
in. Some days they don't. I came back
01:03:14.720 --> 01:03:17.430
in. Somebody probably on a doc's tow on
01:03:17.440 --> 01:03:19.829
me.
01:03:19.839 --> 01:03:21.029
>> When you talking about the docks, you
01:03:21.039 --> 01:03:23.109
talking about the working docs come in,
01:03:23.119 --> 01:03:25.270
right? So look, I saw So boom
01:03:25.280 --> 01:03:26.309
>> for Salvation Army.
01:03:26.319 --> 01:03:28.069
>> Salvation Army. So, um,
01:03:28.079 --> 01:03:29.190
>> cuz it's a working program.
01:03:29.200 --> 01:03:30.870
>> It's a working program. So, so boom, I
01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:32.789
come back in. It was this guy by the
01:03:32.799 --> 01:03:34.390
name of John Long. Used to run it,
01:03:34.400 --> 01:03:37.589
right? Um, catch me with the wallet.
01:03:37.599 --> 01:03:41.109
Kick me out. Boom. Right.
01:03:41.119 --> 01:03:42.470
When you get kicked out, you can come
01:03:42.480 --> 01:03:43.589
back in 30 days.
01:03:43.599 --> 01:03:44.470
>> And start all over.
01:03:44.480 --> 01:03:45.029
>> Start all over.
01:03:45.039 --> 01:03:45.589
>> Day one.
01:03:45.599 --> 01:03:46.870
>> Three weeks. Right. Check this out
01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:50.150
though. Boom. Come back 30 days. Stay
01:03:50.160 --> 01:03:52.309
clean. Go to court just let you go back.
01:03:52.319 --> 01:03:54.549
I stayed there 6 months. Three days
01:03:54.559 --> 01:03:56.789
before my sixth w graduation to go into
01:03:56.799 --> 01:03:58.950
the next phase of the program. I come
01:03:58.960 --> 01:04:01.990
back one minute late.
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.230
Kicked me out.
01:04:04.240 --> 01:04:07.349
I'm mad. [ __ ] this program [ __ ] bro.
01:04:07.359 --> 01:04:08.230
You feel me?
01:04:08.240 --> 01:04:09.990
>> It wasn't a program problem. It was a
01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:11.349
you problem.
01:04:11.359 --> 01:04:13.270
>> It was a Yeah, it was it was a problem.
01:04:13.280 --> 01:04:15.029
It wasn't know what it was. It wasn't a
01:04:15.039 --> 01:04:16.630
problem at all.
01:04:16.640 --> 01:04:17.510
>> It was a purpose.
01:04:17.520 --> 01:04:18.630
>> I love that.
01:04:18.640 --> 01:04:19.270
>> Yeah, for sure.
01:04:19.280 --> 01:04:21.029
>> Wasn't a problem. It was a purpose.
01:04:21.039 --> 01:04:23.910
Right. So, boom. I come back. I go back
01:04:23.920 --> 01:04:26.150
to court. I come after I go back to
01:04:26.160 --> 01:04:28.309
court, um the judge say, "You know what?
01:04:28.319 --> 01:04:29.829
I'm going let you go back. But this
01:04:29.839 --> 01:04:32.789
time, since this program is talking so
01:04:32.799 --> 01:04:35.029
highly of you,
01:04:35.039 --> 01:04:38.069
I'm not going to make you start the year
01:04:38.079 --> 01:04:40.309
over.
01:04:40.319 --> 01:04:42.150
I'mma add that six months to your year.
01:04:42.160 --> 01:04:44.630
Go do another six months." When I got
01:04:44.640 --> 01:04:47.190
back to the program, I got to start back
01:04:47.200 --> 01:04:48.230
>> day one.
01:04:48.240 --> 01:04:49.029
>> Day one.
01:04:49.039 --> 01:04:52.069
>> Yeah. They don't play. I'm the from
01:04:52.079 --> 01:04:54.549
starting back day one, I become the
01:04:54.559 --> 01:04:57.589
leader of everything around me
01:04:57.599 --> 01:04:58.950
because I've been through everything
01:04:58.960 --> 01:05:00.870
that everybody in these next six months
01:05:00.880 --> 01:05:03.109
got to go through.
01:05:03.119 --> 01:05:06.230
So it gave me the position to understand
01:05:06.240 --> 01:05:08.710
the power in being a leader. So when
01:05:08.720 --> 01:05:09.990
people going through stuff, I can talk
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:11.109
to them about it. When they going
01:05:11.119 --> 01:05:12.309
through, man, I'm about to leave. I can
01:05:12.319 --> 01:05:13.990
talk him out of it. Man, I got kicked.
01:05:14.000 --> 01:05:17.270
Man, I kicked out twice. I I can I can
01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:21.349
be so much influence in people beginning
01:05:21.359 --> 01:05:23.190
stages and them groups that we got to go
01:05:23.200 --> 01:05:25.109
through in the first six months. My
01:05:25.119 --> 01:05:27.349
voice matters because I've been here.
01:05:27.359 --> 01:05:28.309
>> Yeah, for sure.
01:05:28.319 --> 01:05:29.670
>> I didn't know that. I didn't understand
01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:31.829
that at first. Right. I end up
01:05:31.839 --> 01:05:34.069
graduating that program.
01:05:34.079 --> 01:05:36.390
I end up working inside of the
01:05:36.400 --> 01:05:39.510
rehabilitation part-time.
01:05:39.520 --> 01:05:41.829
I end up going from working part-time to
01:05:41.839 --> 01:05:44.069
being a doc supervisor. I went from
01:05:44.079 --> 01:05:46.230
being the dock supervisor to the
01:05:46.240 --> 01:05:48.630
transportation supervisor to the person
01:05:48.640 --> 01:05:50.950
who takes the trucks that tell the
01:05:50.960 --> 01:05:52.470
trucks what house to go to, what to pick
01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:54.630
up. I end up running the warehouse
01:05:54.640 --> 01:05:59.430
completely. Right. In that process, I
01:05:59.440 --> 01:06:02.549
was able to affect so many other men
01:06:02.559 --> 01:06:07.109
that's still clean right now because
01:06:07.119 --> 01:06:09.670
I was able to understand the program
01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:12.630
from the working aspect of it and from
01:06:12.640 --> 01:06:15.270
the rehabilitation aspect of it. And I
01:06:15.280 --> 01:06:19.109
was able to teach treat men like men.
01:06:19.119 --> 01:06:22.150
Instead of writing you up to make you
01:06:22.160 --> 01:06:23.589
miss your weekend visit with your
01:06:23.599 --> 01:06:26.789
family, I had a thing that I do, right?
01:06:26.799 --> 01:06:30.470
When somebody messed up on my docks,
01:06:30.480 --> 01:06:32.150
I say stop. When they know they caught
01:06:32.160 --> 01:06:33.750
up, brother, I say stop. And they say,
01:06:33.760 --> 01:06:35.510
"What's up?" They already know. I say,
01:06:35.520 --> 01:06:37.910
"Turn around." And I kick them dead in
01:06:37.920 --> 01:06:40.150
the ass.
01:06:40.160 --> 01:06:41.670
I wasn't expecting that one.
01:06:41.680 --> 01:06:44.950
>> Listen to me. B,
01:06:44.960 --> 01:06:46.630
do you want to you if I write you up,
01:06:46.640 --> 01:06:47.750
you ain't going out with your family
01:06:47.760 --> 01:06:48.710
this weekend?
01:06:48.720 --> 01:06:50.549
>> Yeah.
01:06:50.559 --> 01:06:52.630
>> You want me to kick you in your ass or
01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:55.349
you want me to write you up? Some people
01:06:55.359 --> 01:06:56.950
a [ __ ] going to keep me in my I said
01:06:56.960 --> 01:06:58.950
let me tell you something. I want you to
01:06:58.960 --> 01:07:00.870
tell life that when you [ __ ] up because
01:07:00.880 --> 01:07:02.789
every time you [ __ ] up life going to
01:07:02.799 --> 01:07:04.390
kick you in your ass way harder than I
01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:04.789
do
01:07:04.799 --> 01:07:06.309
>> and see what they don't understand that
01:07:06.319 --> 01:07:07.750
you have what what you just been
01:07:07.760 --> 01:07:09.029
through. You've already been through
01:07:09.039 --> 01:07:11.670
this. I done so I'm not working. So I
01:07:11.680 --> 01:07:13.589
already know I already know writing you
01:07:13.599 --> 01:07:15.829
up is only going to get a program hella
01:07:15.839 --> 01:07:17.750
hours for you to have to work here on
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:19.510
the weekend because they want to work
01:07:19.520 --> 01:07:21.990
for they cuz it's so I understand all
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:24.870
this. So, let me kick you in your ass
01:07:24.880 --> 01:07:26.150
because that's what life's going to do
01:07:26.160 --> 01:07:27.829
to you when you go back out there and
01:07:27.839 --> 01:07:28.470
[ __ ] up.
01:07:28.480 --> 01:07:29.349
>> Yeah.
01:07:29.359 --> 01:07:31.190
>> I'm not kicking you on your ass to kick
01:07:31.200 --> 01:07:33.190
you in your ass. I'm trying to give you
01:07:33.200 --> 01:07:36.150
like a metaphor type feeling about life
01:07:36.160 --> 01:07:37.990
when you get caught doing something you
01:07:38.000 --> 01:07:39.750
ain't got no business. This is the
01:07:39.760 --> 01:07:42.230
punishment. Life will kick you smoothing
01:07:42.240 --> 01:07:43.510
your ass. Yeah.
01:07:43.520 --> 01:07:44.950
>> I wouldn't kick him hard. I wouldn't
01:07:44.960 --> 01:07:46.390
kick him to the point of trying to hurt
01:07:46.400 --> 01:07:49.750
him. Bam. You feel me? to be like,
01:07:49.760 --> 01:07:51.430
understand that that's what happens in
01:07:51.440 --> 01:07:53.349
life. When you mess up, you get kicked
01:07:53.359 --> 01:07:56.309
in the ass. And if you want me to kick
01:07:56.319 --> 01:07:58.390
you in the ass every day, [ __ ] up every
01:07:58.400 --> 01:08:00.789
day. If you want to stop kicking in that
01:08:00.799 --> 01:08:02.230
getting kicked in the ass, cuz I'm not
01:08:02.240 --> 01:08:05.750
kicking your ass in the bathroom.
01:08:05.760 --> 01:08:07.109
I'm kicking your ass in front of
01:08:07.119 --> 01:08:10.470
everybody else ass I didn't kicked.
01:08:10.480 --> 01:08:12.230
So when you walk like, "But I'll be
01:08:12.240 --> 01:08:13.270
looking out for it." You know what I'm
01:08:13.280 --> 01:08:15.430
saying? He really ain't. He really could
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:16.789
ride the ship, bro. But you know what
01:08:16.799 --> 01:08:18.149
I'm saying? he really trying to teach
01:08:18.159 --> 01:08:21.030
his life because I had been through it
01:08:21.040 --> 01:08:22.789
>> and it had just got to the point where I
01:08:22.799 --> 01:08:25.349
didn't really I didn't really uh I
01:08:25.359 --> 01:08:26.630
really I didn't really agree with
01:08:26.640 --> 01:08:29.189
everything Salvation Army
01:08:29.199 --> 01:08:30.789
um
01:08:30.799 --> 01:08:33.910
outside of program had going on. So I
01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:36.470
just removed myself. But that's what did
01:08:36.480 --> 01:08:39.990
it for me. That's what allowed me to
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:43.189
grow and to the my my seed planting into
01:08:43.199 --> 01:08:45.189
being who I am today. being able to go
01:08:45.199 --> 01:08:46.470
through that program to be able to work
01:08:46.480 --> 01:08:48.630
that program be able to be there for the
01:08:48.640 --> 01:08:50.309
kid the people after because I the
01:08:50.319 --> 01:08:52.229
people that there knew used to be in the
01:08:52.239 --> 01:08:54.630
program so I'm like they like what he
01:08:54.640 --> 01:08:56.870
was in the program he graduated the
01:08:56.880 --> 01:08:58.309
program and start working here bro he
01:08:58.319 --> 01:09:01.749
ain't just no outside employee like I
01:09:01.759 --> 01:09:04.070
sacrificed they didn't pay they paid us
01:09:04.080 --> 01:09:08.070
pennies on a dollar rather work there
01:09:08.080 --> 01:09:10.870
but the experience I got about life
01:09:10.880 --> 01:09:14.950
about work and about me is what save my
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:17.749
life and help me grow into who I am. So,
01:09:17.759 --> 01:09:20.309
for those reasons, I tell Salvation
01:09:20.319 --> 01:09:23.189
Army, thank you. Only for those reasons.
01:09:23.199 --> 01:09:25.189
You get what I'm saying? But that's kind
01:09:25.199 --> 01:09:27.189
of where it started for me, man. But my
01:09:27.199 --> 01:09:28.870
initial
01:09:28.880 --> 01:09:30.550
reason to getting clean was because of
01:09:30.560 --> 01:09:31.749
my daughter. Bro,
01:09:31.759 --> 01:09:33.510
>> if you ain't going to do it for if you
01:09:33.520 --> 01:09:34.950
can't do it for yourself, do it for
01:09:34.960 --> 01:09:35.990
somebody else. And that's another
01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:36.709
misconception.
01:09:36.719 --> 01:09:38.149
>> Do it for somebody else until you can
01:09:38.159 --> 01:09:39.749
learn how to love yourself and do it to
01:09:39.759 --> 01:09:41.590
do it for you. love. If if your love for
01:09:41.600 --> 01:09:43.590
somebody else can get you to do
01:09:43.600 --> 01:09:45.269
something, do it until you love
01:09:45.279 --> 01:09:46.950
yourself. But don't make it your
01:09:46.960 --> 01:09:47.590
purpose.
01:09:47.600 --> 01:09:49.189
>> Because that's a misconception cuz I
01:09:49.199 --> 01:09:51.269
used to always say like they like, "Oh,
01:09:51.279 --> 01:09:52.709
you can't do this for your daughter. You
01:09:52.719 --> 01:09:54.229
can't do this for your family, man. [ __ ]
01:09:54.239 --> 01:09:54.790
that."
01:09:54.800 --> 01:09:55.510
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:09:55.520 --> 01:09:56.630
>> Hell no.
01:09:56.640 --> 01:09:57.910
>> I used to tell him, I said, "Don't
01:09:57.920 --> 01:09:58.550
listen to that."
01:09:58.560 --> 01:09:59.189
>> Yeah.
01:09:59.199 --> 01:10:01.430
>> To a counselor used to tell him this.
01:10:01.440 --> 01:10:02.470
>> Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
01:10:02.480 --> 01:10:03.830
That's the same. That's why I say
01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:05.910
remember we started this earlier and I
01:10:05.920 --> 01:10:07.830
said, "I don't agree with everything
01:10:07.840 --> 01:10:10.229
that got to do with programs." Yeah. And
01:10:10.239 --> 01:10:12.310
I said I told her I says I pull them
01:10:12.320 --> 01:10:13.990
aside, you know, and they like, "Man,
01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:15.590
Justin, you so real." Like, you know,
01:10:15.600 --> 01:10:17.350
you like whoop. And I'm like, you know
01:10:17.360 --> 01:10:18.790
what I'm saying?
01:10:18.800 --> 01:10:21.430
>> I'm like, "Hey, bro, check this out. You
01:10:21.440 --> 01:10:23.189
going to have to do it for somebody
01:10:23.199 --> 01:10:24.709
>> before you ever do it for yourself. You
01:10:24.719 --> 01:10:26.390
don't give a [ __ ] about yourself to do
01:10:26.400 --> 01:10:29.110
it enough to do it, right? So, if you
01:10:29.120 --> 01:10:30.390
got a baby,
01:10:30.400 --> 01:10:31.669
>> every time you want to walk out that
01:10:31.679 --> 01:10:32.790
door and get high, I want you to
01:10:32.800 --> 01:10:34.229
remember the time you was crying in my
01:10:34.239 --> 01:10:35.910
office, filling out the intake forms,
01:10:35.920 --> 01:10:38.229
and about about I want to do this for my
01:10:38.239 --> 01:10:39.830
kids. I want to do this for them. I want
01:10:39.840 --> 01:10:41.350
to do I want you to remember your
01:10:41.360 --> 01:10:42.630
daughter. I want you to remember your
01:10:42.640 --> 01:10:44.550
son. I want you to remember your mama. I
01:10:44.560 --> 01:10:45.830
want you to remember that [ __ ] because
01:10:45.840 --> 01:10:47.590
that's what's going to motivate you to
01:10:47.600 --> 01:10:50.470
stay your asses. And I says, man, you
01:10:50.480 --> 01:10:52.310
can follow all the rules in jail.
01:10:52.320 --> 01:10:55.189
>> It's easy, man. What the de tell you
01:10:55.199 --> 01:10:56.950
something? YES, SIR. I GOT YOU. I'LL
01:10:56.960 --> 01:10:58.470
MOCK THAT UP FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.
01:10:58.480 --> 01:11:00.229
>> THEY DON'T GOT TO TELL YOU. YOU asking
01:11:00.239 --> 01:11:02.709
if I CAN DO IT. OH MY GOD.
01:11:02.719 --> 01:11:04.149
>> DO YOU WANT TO GET REAL ABOUT IT?
01:11:04.159 --> 01:11:05.189
>> NO, MAN.
01:11:05.199 --> 01:11:07.669
>> I'm not I'm asking you, can I mop the
01:11:07.679 --> 01:11:09.110
tear? I ain't waiting for you to tell me
01:11:09.120 --> 01:11:09.750
to do it.
01:11:09.760 --> 01:11:10.310
>> Yeah.
01:11:10.320 --> 01:11:11.750
>> So, come on, man. Let's just be real.
01:11:11.760 --> 01:11:13.510
I'm asking you if I be a power worker. I
01:11:13.520 --> 01:11:14.790
ain't waiting for you to find me to be
01:11:14.800 --> 01:11:15.030
one.
01:11:15.040 --> 01:11:16.470
>> I'M PRAYING. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
01:11:16.480 --> 01:11:18.470
PLEASE. SO, come on, man. I get outside.
01:11:18.480 --> 01:11:20.310
I don't want to go sign up for a job,
01:11:20.320 --> 01:11:21.669
but I can go to jail.
01:11:21.679 --> 01:11:22.950
>> You talking about, oh, we got all these
01:11:22.960 --> 01:11:24.550
rules. Can't have a phone. Can't do
01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:25.350
this.
01:11:25.360 --> 01:11:28.149
>> [ __ ] [ __ ] up out of here. You
01:11:28.159 --> 01:11:29.669
got to lose that. You got to I got to
01:11:29.679 --> 01:11:31.350
break down that thought process of who
01:11:31.360 --> 01:11:32.950
you thought you used to be, cuz that's
01:11:32.960 --> 01:11:34.550
not who you truly are.
01:11:34.560 --> 01:11:35.910
>> You got to take those masks off.
01:11:35.920 --> 01:11:36.790
>> You got to take the mask off.
01:11:36.800 --> 01:11:37.669
>> You know what I'm saying? like they're
01:11:37.679 --> 01:11:39.110
just not really understanding. And it's
01:11:39.120 --> 01:11:40.709
just like anybody out there listening to
01:11:40.719 --> 01:11:42.229
this, like if you struggling right now,
01:11:42.239 --> 01:11:45.750
man, hey, DM me cuz I will get you.
01:11:45.760 --> 01:11:48.310
>> Yeah. DM me, DM. We can get you
01:11:48.320 --> 01:11:50.390
connected to a program. I can get you
01:11:50.400 --> 01:11:51.990
into Cherry Hill. If you in the
01:11:52.000 --> 01:11:53.669
Contracasta area, I can get you into
01:11:53.679 --> 01:11:55.430
West Care. Like, I got all these
01:11:55.440 --> 01:11:56.950
connections. If you want a program, a
01:11:56.960 --> 01:11:58.630
year program, a 30-day program,
01:11:58.640 --> 01:12:00.630
>> if you need if you I won't say if you
01:12:00.640 --> 01:12:02.550
need a sponsor, but if you This dude,
01:12:02.560 --> 01:12:03.669
man, he need a mentor.
01:12:03.679 --> 01:12:05.669
>> If this dude, man, he hit me um from
01:12:05.679 --> 01:12:07.590
Sack the other day, man. He said he just
01:12:07.600 --> 01:12:10.229
you know every I get him a lot but like
01:12:10.239 --> 01:12:11.750
but I really look up to you bro you know
01:12:11.760 --> 01:12:13.430
what I'm saying about you know we come
01:12:13.440 --> 01:12:15.270
from the same it's not the Caucasian do
01:12:15.280 --> 01:12:16.709
at the you know what I'm saying like but
01:12:16.719 --> 01:12:19.270
I look up to you but and I look up to
01:12:19.280 --> 01:12:20.790
you because you're so open about what
01:12:20.800 --> 01:12:22.310
you've been through and you don't
01:12:22.320 --> 01:12:23.669
understand how the people that's going
01:12:23.679 --> 01:12:25.030
through how they seeing that and they
01:12:25.040 --> 01:12:27.189
saying you know you giving us hope
01:12:27.199 --> 01:12:29.830
>> right so he told me a story about how
01:12:29.840 --> 01:12:32.470
you know he got a car got a nice car his
01:12:32.480 --> 01:12:34.229
girl going through some [ __ ] she telling
01:12:34.239 --> 01:12:35.910
him to sell it he feel like if he sell
01:12:35.920 --> 01:12:37.990
it is now everything he ever established
01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:39.990
from the game is gone and woo woo woo
01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:43.590
woo woo and then he tell me um man but
01:12:43.600 --> 01:12:45.430
I'mma check myself into this program on
01:12:45.440 --> 01:12:46.870
the third or whatever you know what I'm
01:12:46.880 --> 01:12:49.750
saying so I I tell him I said man I said
01:12:49.760 --> 01:12:52.790
man how about
01:12:52.800 --> 01:12:55.669
I walk you through that program
01:12:55.679 --> 01:12:58.470
how about in whatever way we can stay in
01:12:58.480 --> 01:13:00.310
contact while you going through that in
01:13:00.320 --> 01:13:02.790
your first early days of being out of
01:13:02.800 --> 01:13:06.149
that I do it with you
01:13:06.159 --> 01:13:08.149
said, "Huh?"
01:13:08.159 --> 01:13:10.470
I said, "Yeah, I want to do it with you,
01:13:10.480 --> 01:13:12.709
brother. I I want to I want to do it
01:13:12.719 --> 01:13:16.070
with you because I understand how
01:13:16.080 --> 01:13:20.790
important having someone in place
01:13:20.800 --> 01:13:23.430
that care about you enough to help you
01:13:23.440 --> 01:13:25.590
go through something because all the
01:13:25.600 --> 01:13:27.590
other people that you want to help you
01:13:27.600 --> 01:13:31.669
only know you for who you've been being.
01:13:31.679 --> 01:13:34.310
They sitting here wanting you to do
01:13:34.320 --> 01:13:37.110
better, waiting for you to [ __ ] up.
01:13:37.120 --> 01:13:38.709
>> I got an idea for you after this.
01:13:38.719 --> 01:13:40.070
>> Did you hear what I just said?
01:13:40.080 --> 01:13:41.750
>> Yeah, I just something popped in. I got
01:13:41.760 --> 01:13:42.709
an idea that I've been
01:13:42.719 --> 01:13:45.189
>> Most of the people who want you to do
01:13:45.199 --> 01:13:45.830
better.
01:13:45.840 --> 01:13:46.390
>> Yeah.
01:13:46.400 --> 01:13:48.630
>> Are the people that sitting there
01:13:48.640 --> 01:13:50.149
waiting for you to [ __ ] up?
01:13:50.159 --> 01:13:52.229
>> We going to have to collab on on on more
01:13:52.239 --> 01:13:54.709
than just this podcast.
01:13:54.719 --> 01:13:55.910
Uh on life.
01:13:55.920 --> 01:13:57.910
>> On life, man. That's why I sold you. I
01:13:57.920 --> 01:13:59.830
don't life is purpose, right?
01:13:59.840 --> 01:14:02.070
>> Yeah. You posted something. I jumped in
01:14:02.080 --> 01:14:03.990
your thing to see what it was about. I
01:14:04.000 --> 01:14:06.390
hit you and said, "Brother, let's do
01:14:06.400 --> 01:14:09.430
this podcast, not
01:14:09.440 --> 01:14:12.229
for you, but for the viewers."
01:14:12.239 --> 01:14:13.669
>> Mhm. 100%.
01:14:13.679 --> 01:14:15.110
>> You get what I'm saying? We having this
01:14:15.120 --> 01:14:17.750
conversation today because it means a
01:14:17.760 --> 01:14:18.870
lot to us.
01:14:18.880 --> 01:14:19.669
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:14:19.679 --> 01:14:21.990
>> But the reason that it means a lot to us
01:14:22.000 --> 01:14:24.070
is because we want to get the message to
01:14:24.080 --> 01:14:25.189
the people, brother.
01:14:25.199 --> 01:14:27.030
>> Yeah. What would you say to somebody out
01:14:27.040 --> 01:14:28.550
there struggling, don't know what to do?
01:14:28.560 --> 01:14:31.590
I would say um
01:14:31.600 --> 01:14:34.070
don't give up on yourself.
01:14:34.080 --> 01:14:36.950
Don't beat yourself up too hard for the
01:14:36.960 --> 01:14:38.709
decisions and choices that you making
01:14:38.719 --> 01:14:40.310
because right now that might be the only
01:14:40.320 --> 01:14:43.430
thing that you have inside of you to be
01:14:43.440 --> 01:14:45.590
able to know about life is to be able to
01:14:45.600 --> 01:14:47.750
go and do the things that you accustomed
01:14:47.760 --> 01:14:49.350
doing because that's the only thing
01:14:49.360 --> 01:14:51.910
that's going on inside of you. I would
01:14:51.920 --> 01:14:54.630
tell you to look for somebody
01:14:54.640 --> 01:14:57.590
outside of yourself to have some belief
01:14:57.600 --> 01:15:01.750
in and allow that person to support you
01:15:01.760 --> 01:15:04.630
or what you going through without an
01:15:04.640 --> 01:15:08.550
ego, without expectations.
01:15:08.560 --> 01:15:10.310
Just giving yourself to that person and
01:15:10.320 --> 01:15:13.510
say, you know what, help me out, man. I
01:15:13.520 --> 01:15:16.310
want I I'm here for you. Because the
01:15:16.320 --> 01:15:17.910
people who have already been through
01:15:17.920 --> 01:15:20.390
what you going through are the people
01:15:20.400 --> 01:15:22.390
that understand you the most and are the
01:15:22.400 --> 01:15:24.470
people that can help you the most. But
01:15:24.480 --> 01:15:27.350
it's only one way to change.
01:15:27.360 --> 01:15:30.149
You have to begin to forgive yourself
01:15:30.159 --> 01:15:33.030
and you have to begin to love yourself.
01:15:33.040 --> 01:15:34.709
If you don't do two those two things,
01:15:34.719 --> 01:15:36.950
you gonna stay clean for six months, six
01:15:36.960 --> 01:15:39.750
years, six days, six hours, and you're
01:15:39.760 --> 01:15:42.149
going to relapse because you haven't
01:15:42.159 --> 01:15:45.430
done the most important thing made you
01:15:45.440 --> 01:15:48.390
matter to you.
01:15:48.400 --> 01:15:51.270
>> I love that, man. I love that. And uh I
01:15:51.280 --> 01:15:52.870
mean, there's so many things that I want
01:15:52.880 --> 01:15:54.310
to cover, man. We probably gonna have to
01:15:54.320 --> 01:15:54.470
do
01:15:54.480 --> 01:15:56.229
>> Well, we gonna do some parts. We'll do
01:15:56.239 --> 01:15:58.630
some parts, man.
01:15:58.640 --> 01:16:00.550
And I know you about to you and uh you
01:16:00.560 --> 01:16:02.470
and Nef about to start up your own
01:16:02.480 --> 01:16:04.229
little podcast, man. You know what I'm
01:16:04.239 --> 01:16:05.750
saying? If it's something I could be
01:16:05.760 --> 01:16:07.510
>> Oh, no. For sure. No, for sure. I'm
01:16:07.520 --> 01:16:10.070
I'mma bring you on, you know, allow you
01:16:10.080 --> 01:16:12.470
to be a part of this conversation um
01:16:12.480 --> 01:16:15.430
that we're having. Um I think this is
01:16:15.440 --> 01:16:18.950
more so something that's a series
01:16:18.960 --> 01:16:21.430
and not a moment because as we grow, we
01:16:21.440 --> 01:16:22.790
gonna have better information this year
01:16:22.800 --> 01:16:23.669
with the people.
01:16:23.679 --> 01:16:24.070
>> Yeah.
01:16:24.080 --> 01:16:26.070
>> You get what I'm saying? Um, I don't
01:16:26.080 --> 01:16:28.070
think that we're having this
01:16:28.080 --> 01:16:30.709
conversation today based on something
01:16:30.719 --> 01:16:32.950
that we decided to do. I think it's more
01:16:32.960 --> 01:16:34.470
so a godly moment.
01:16:34.480 --> 01:16:35.350
>> No, for sure.
01:16:35.360 --> 01:16:38.550
>> And something that he put in and put us
01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:42.229
both in position to be able to to to do
01:16:42.239 --> 01:16:45.030
today. Understand me? And he probably
01:16:45.040 --> 01:16:47.910
have a bigger plan than um than we
01:16:47.920 --> 01:16:50.149
understand at this moment, but he had to
01:16:50.159 --> 01:16:51.910
use this moment to put that plan
01:16:51.920 --> 01:16:54.550
together. I want to run it back for you
01:16:54.560 --> 01:16:57.910
real quick and I want you to understand
01:16:57.920 --> 01:17:00.470
>> that from the beginning of this podcast
01:17:00.480 --> 01:17:01.990
starting and I'm not going to say that
01:17:02.000 --> 01:17:03.350
I've been on fire but Breaking
01:17:03.360 --> 01:17:05.189
Possibilities has been on fire.
01:17:05.199 --> 01:17:05.590
>> Right.
01:17:08.320 --> 01:17:11.189
From the very beginning, I got a list of
01:17:11.199 --> 01:17:12.870
people I want on the podcast.
01:17:12.880 --> 01:17:13.510
>> Right.
01:17:15.120 --> 01:17:16.229
>> Nef is one of them.
01:17:16.239 --> 01:17:16.950
>> Right.
01:17:16.960 --> 01:17:19.350
>> For sure. Because of what he does for
01:17:19.360 --> 01:17:21.750
the community. what y'all do for the
01:17:21.760 --> 01:17:24.870
community.
01:17:24.880 --> 01:17:27.189
>> And I've reached out to him many times,
01:17:27.199 --> 01:17:27.830
>> right?
01:17:27.840 --> 01:17:30.070
>> And he like hit up Gary. I've hit up
01:17:30.080 --> 01:17:31.830
Gary. Send Gary email, right?
01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:33.110
>> I'm not got a response.
01:17:33.120 --> 01:17:34.390
>> I'll take care of it.
01:17:34.400 --> 01:17:37.430
>> That ain't even a No, I fab respond to
01:17:37.440 --> 01:17:39.910
me on his own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:39.920 --> 01:17:42.550
So, it's like I just need I just holl at
01:17:42.560 --> 01:17:43.590
you,
01:17:43.600 --> 01:17:44.709
>> right?
01:17:44.719 --> 01:17:48.390
>> But I understand time is money and [ __ ]
01:17:48.400 --> 01:17:51.510
is valuable, right? And I get that 100%.
01:17:51.520 --> 01:17:53.030
Right. Especially when you don't know
01:17:53.040 --> 01:17:54.229
somebody and somebody coming through
01:17:54.239 --> 01:17:55.110
your DMs.
01:17:55.120 --> 01:17:55.669
>> Right. Right.
01:17:55.679 --> 01:17:56.950
>> You know what I'm saying?
01:17:56.960 --> 01:17:57.990
>> Business come through DMs.
01:17:58.000 --> 01:18:00.149
>> It's a big different business.
01:18:00.159 --> 01:18:02.709
>> When I shot you the email and I shoot
01:18:02.719 --> 01:18:04.229
you the package offer cuz there's an
01:18:04.239 --> 01:18:07.430
offer. There's a package for every
01:18:07.440 --> 01:18:09.030
business. I say, "Huh?"
01:18:09.040 --> 01:18:10.310
>> Yeah. Yeah. Right.
01:18:10.320 --> 01:18:11.750
>> But I'm like, "Nah."
01:18:11.760 --> 01:18:12.310
>> Yeah.
01:18:12.320 --> 01:18:13.830
>> But this just come with the email.
01:18:13.840 --> 01:18:15.590
>> Yeah. Yeah. I said, "Okay, good." And
01:18:15.600 --> 01:18:17.669
and and I wasn't offended. What did I
01:18:17.679 --> 01:18:19.270
tell you back? I said, "Thank you for
01:18:19.280 --> 01:18:21.030
sending it to me like this because now
01:18:21.040 --> 01:18:22.470
it helps me understand
01:18:22.480 --> 01:18:25.270
>> 100%." But then, you know what I mean?
01:18:25.280 --> 01:18:28.070
As much as I'm like, "Oh, boom, boom,
01:18:28.080 --> 01:18:29.030
boom."
01:18:29.040 --> 01:18:32.310
>> And then anything podcast, I know I need
01:18:32.320 --> 01:18:34.070
to be a part of because that's what I'm
01:18:34.080 --> 01:18:34.550
doing
01:18:34.560 --> 01:18:35.910
>> doing. Right. Right. Right.
01:18:35.920 --> 01:18:38.630
>> Anything a podcast, anything interviews,
01:18:38.640 --> 01:18:40.070
I need to put, you know what I'm saying?
01:18:40.080 --> 01:18:43.110
It's one of them things. But uh I like,
01:18:43.120 --> 01:18:45.990
share, comment on all the stuff that I
01:18:46.000 --> 01:18:48.070
love to see happen in the community.
01:18:48.080 --> 01:18:48.790
Right.
01:18:48.800 --> 01:18:50.870
>> And when I shot that when I shot that
01:18:50.880 --> 01:18:53.430
post out there or when I shot that u
01:18:53.440 --> 01:18:56.470
that uh that comment that comment, oh
01:18:56.480 --> 01:18:57.669
yeah, we need to collab.
01:18:57.679 --> 01:18:58.390
>> Right. Right.
01:18:58.400 --> 01:18:59.590
>> 100%.
01:18:59.600 --> 01:19:01.669
>> Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
01:19:01.679 --> 01:19:04.310
>> It it ain't it wasn't no anything behind
01:19:04.320 --> 01:19:06.070
it. Just like we need to
01:19:06.080 --> 01:19:06.870
>> and I seen it
01:19:06.880 --> 01:19:08.470
>> and boom, you hit me.
01:19:08.480 --> 01:19:08.870
>> Right.
01:19:08.880 --> 01:19:10.790
>> And I seen it slide through. But I I got
01:19:10.800 --> 01:19:12.790
a I got a ad running right there.
01:19:12.800 --> 01:19:14.870
>> So I got a bunch of DMs coming in,
01:19:14.880 --> 01:19:15.669
right?
01:19:15.679 --> 01:19:17.110
>> And it's a bunch of fluff, too, because
01:19:17.120 --> 01:19:18.390
I'm shooting them like, "Hey, look, we
01:19:18.400 --> 01:19:19.990
can highlight your business. I'm not
01:19:20.000 --> 01:19:21.750
only going to put you on the podcast,
01:19:21.760 --> 01:19:23.510
but I'm about to highlight you." So when
01:19:23.520 --> 01:19:25.430
I seen the hunter
01:19:25.440 --> 01:19:26.229
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:19:26.239 --> 01:19:28.070
>> I didn't It didn't connect for me.
01:19:28.080 --> 01:19:29.189
>> For me at first. Yeah.
01:19:29.199 --> 01:19:31.350
>> But something told me. And it's always
01:19:31.360 --> 01:19:31.910
God.
01:19:31.920 --> 01:19:33.430
>> It's always God. Ain't never something.
01:19:33.440 --> 01:19:33.910
It's always God.
01:19:33.920 --> 01:19:36.149
>> It's always God. God,
01:19:36.159 --> 01:19:38.550
>> man, go in there cuz you going to a
01:19:38.560 --> 01:19:40.229
request. You go into a whole different
01:19:40.239 --> 01:19:41.830
realm versus I don't know how it goes
01:19:41.840 --> 01:19:42.630
with you.
01:19:42.640 --> 01:19:44.870
>> You go it comes under like you got your
01:19:44.880 --> 01:19:45.510
primary.
01:19:45.520 --> 01:19:48.149
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. General and other got
01:19:48.159 --> 01:19:48.950
your ads.
01:19:48.960 --> 01:19:51.590
>> Yeah. You went into the ad bucket and I
01:19:51.600 --> 01:19:53.750
go in there and I'm like and I click on
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:57.510
it and I'm like I'll be damned.
01:19:57.520 --> 01:19:58.630
>> I'll be damned.
01:19:58.640 --> 01:19:59.350
>> Right.
01:19:59.360 --> 01:20:01.350
>> My purpose and my goal.
01:20:01.360 --> 01:20:02.229
>> Right.
01:20:02.239 --> 01:20:05.350
>> Or my goal might have been to get fab
01:20:05.360 --> 01:20:05.750
on.
01:20:05.760 --> 01:20:08.709
>> Right. Right. Right. But the purpose was
01:20:08.719 --> 01:20:10.070
to connect with you.
01:20:10.080 --> 01:20:12.070
>> Exactly.
01:20:12.080 --> 01:20:14.149
>> And him too. Don't get it twisted.
01:20:14.159 --> 01:20:16.070
>> Yeah. On two different on two different
01:20:16.080 --> 01:20:18.550
>> You miss 100% of the shots you don't
01:20:18.560 --> 01:20:19.030
take.
01:20:19.040 --> 01:20:22.550
>> I think I think I think that um
01:20:22.560 --> 01:20:24.870
I think that
01:20:24.880 --> 01:20:26.149
>> me and my nephew are two different
01:20:26.159 --> 01:20:27.830
people.
01:20:27.840 --> 01:20:28.870
>> With one purpose.
01:20:28.880 --> 01:20:29.350
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:20:29.360 --> 01:20:32.630
>> Right. So, I think that even though your
01:20:32.640 --> 01:20:34.470
shot is at him, it's for the purpose of
01:20:34.480 --> 01:20:37.270
what that looks like. The purpose that
01:20:37.280 --> 01:20:39.510
we're having today had nothing to do
01:20:39.520 --> 01:20:41.590
with me or you.
01:20:41.600 --> 01:20:42.870
>> No. No.
01:20:42.880 --> 01:20:44.390
>> That's what I want you to understand.
01:20:44.400 --> 01:20:45.110
>> No, it don't.
01:20:45.120 --> 01:20:46.390
>> It had everything to do with God,
01:20:46.400 --> 01:20:47.030
brother.
01:20:47.040 --> 01:20:49.990
>> Absolutely. And to form one.
01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:51.110
>> One.
01:20:51.120 --> 01:20:54.070
>> Form one. Right. I got after after we
01:20:54.080 --> 01:20:55.590
cut this scene, I'm going to tell you I
01:20:55.600 --> 01:20:57.750
got something in the works. But like,
01:20:57.760 --> 01:21:01.030
bro, what I'm my point is y'all is don't
01:21:01.040 --> 01:21:03.030
be afraid to shoot your shot. Yeah.
01:21:03.040 --> 01:21:04.870
>> Whatever it is, cuz you have no idea
01:21:04.880 --> 01:21:06.630
what the outcome is going to be,
01:21:06.640 --> 01:21:07.189
>> right?
01:21:07.199 --> 01:21:09.910
>> When Steph Curry throws that ball up,
01:21:09.920 --> 01:21:12.709
>> 1,000% of the time when he's putting it
01:21:12.719 --> 01:21:14.709
up, he's already thinking he made the
01:21:14.719 --> 01:21:15.030
shot.
01:21:15.040 --> 01:21:16.790
>> You know why? Cuz he's made that [ __ ] a
01:21:16.800 --> 01:21:17.510
thousand times.
01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:19.750
>> A thousand times. But he's already make
01:21:19.760 --> 01:21:21.110
he's thinking that he making the shot.
01:21:21.120 --> 01:21:23.189
And even a kid that's shooting the
01:21:23.199 --> 01:21:25.350
basketball thinks he can make the shot
01:21:25.360 --> 01:21:27.990
because make it.
01:21:28.000 --> 01:21:29.270
>> You don't know what the outcome is going
01:21:29.280 --> 01:21:31.590
to be. It's a 50/50 chance. Either
01:21:31.600 --> 01:21:32.950
you're going to make it or you're going
01:21:32.960 --> 01:21:34.790
to miss it. But I'm going tell you right
01:21:34.800 --> 01:21:36.790
now, as long as you continue to shoot
01:21:36.800 --> 01:21:38.709
your shot and you continue to be
01:21:38.719 --> 01:21:41.270
consistent, consistent. It don't even
01:21:41.280 --> 01:21:43.189
have to be quality, but be consistent
01:21:43.199 --> 01:21:44.950
with the things that you find purpose
01:21:44.960 --> 01:21:47.270
in, that you find value in, that you
01:21:47.280 --> 01:21:48.950
trying to help people, and you trying to
01:21:48.960 --> 01:21:51.110
do the things you need to do to make a
01:21:51.120 --> 01:21:53.189
change. I'mma tell you right now, that
01:21:53.199 --> 01:21:55.430
ball is going to go in the basket 100%
01:21:55.440 --> 01:21:57.430
of the time. So, don't be afraid to take
01:21:57.440 --> 01:21:58.149
your shot, man.
01:21:58.159 --> 01:21:58.870
>> Most definitely.
01:21:58.880 --> 01:22:00.070
>> So, you know what I mean?
01:22:00.080 --> 01:22:00.950
>> Most definitely.
01:22:00.960 --> 01:22:03.189
>> Hey, man. You know, I really, man, like
01:22:03.199 --> 01:22:05.270
I say, man, we going we going to allow
01:22:05.280 --> 01:22:08.149
us to to to cut this short today because
01:22:08.159 --> 01:22:10.470
because we already know that we this is
01:22:10.480 --> 01:22:12.470
this is going to be something that's
01:22:12.480 --> 01:22:15.590
ongoing for us and for the people that
01:22:15.600 --> 01:22:18.310
you get what I'm saying. Um I I want to
01:22:18.320 --> 01:22:19.750
thank God um
01:22:19.760 --> 01:22:20.310
>> for sure
01:22:20.320 --> 01:22:21.510
>> on this show
01:22:21.520 --> 01:22:23.510
>> for allowing us to have this opportunity
01:22:23.520 --> 01:22:26.390
to come together. Um you know when God
01:22:26.400 --> 01:22:27.270
put something together
01:22:27.280 --> 01:22:27.830
>> oh one time
01:22:27.840 --> 01:22:29.910
>> you want me tell you how the feeling
01:22:29.920 --> 01:22:32.390
that you get when you know God is in
01:22:32.400 --> 01:22:35.990
control of something is not a play.
01:22:36.000 --> 01:22:37.830
>> You this wasn't a play. This was a
01:22:37.840 --> 01:22:38.310
purpose.
01:22:38.320 --> 01:22:39.270
>> Purpose. Yeah. For sure.
01:22:39.280 --> 01:22:40.709
>> You get what I'm saying? And God put
01:22:40.719 --> 01:22:42.550
purpose together, brother. And I want to
01:22:42.560 --> 01:22:44.790
I want to go into that purpose with you.
01:22:44.800 --> 01:22:46.310
>> Yeah. I appreciate that and I thank you
01:22:46.320 --> 01:22:47.990
for that cuz it's a lot of things we can
01:22:48.000 --> 01:22:48.390
do
01:22:48.400 --> 01:22:49.270
>> for sure.
01:22:49.280 --> 01:22:50.390
>> And as you see,
01:22:50.400 --> 01:22:51.030
>> we out.
01:22:51.040 --> 01:22:52.149
>> God was like, "We done."
01:22:52.159 --> 01:22:53.270
>> Yeah, we done. You know what?
01:22:53.280 --> 01:22:54.390
>> Hey, but you know, at the end of the
01:22:54.400 --> 01:22:56.070
day, y'all, you already know what time
01:22:56.080 --> 01:22:58.070
it is. Breaking possibilities is where
01:22:58.080 --> 01:22:59.910
we use real life stories
01:22:59.920 --> 01:23:01.830
>> to help people grow and break those
01:23:01.840 --> 01:23:03.430
impossibilities. We had a fabulous
01:23:03.440 --> 01:23:05.750
guest. I see as we ran over time, we did
01:23:05.760 --> 01:23:07.350
as much. We did the most. I mean, it
01:23:07.360 --> 01:23:08.629
just is. That's what's happened when you
01:23:08.639 --> 01:23:10.070
have somebody here having a genuine
01:23:10.080 --> 01:23:12.470
conversation and to help people. I
01:23:12.480 --> 01:23:14.149
really believe that we're going to touch
01:23:14.159 --> 01:23:16.229
somebody. You know what I mean? And at
01:23:16.239 --> 01:23:18.229
the end of the day, if you don't already
01:23:18.239 --> 01:23:20.149
know, man, everything for him is going
01:23:20.159 --> 01:23:22.149
to be down in the description. His link
01:23:22.159 --> 01:23:24.470
to his Instagram, his mentor program,
01:23:24.480 --> 01:23:26.070
he's on the web. If you go to
01:23:26.080 --> 01:23:28.229
mentor.org, you can slide through and
01:23:28.239 --> 01:23:30.470
see mentor.org.
01:23:30.480 --> 01:23:32.310
>> You're going to see Ernest Holloway is
01:23:32.320 --> 01:23:33.590
one of the mentors. There ain't no
01:23:33.600 --> 01:23:35.030
picture there cuz I did look. There
01:23:35.040 --> 01:23:36.229
ain't no picture there, but we going to
01:23:36.239 --> 01:23:37.590
get you one there. You know what I'm
01:23:37.600 --> 01:23:39.510
saying? Help me get professional. I need
01:23:39.520 --> 01:23:41.270
that. At the end of the day, I'mma tell
01:23:41.280 --> 01:23:43.510
y'all right now, man. If you know
01:23:43.520 --> 01:23:45.430
anybody struggling, anybody going
01:23:45.440 --> 01:23:47.189
through it, I want you to tap in. I'm
01:23:47.199 --> 01:23:48.790
going to have all the descriptions down
01:23:48.800 --> 01:23:50.470
below. I'm going to have uh everything
01:23:50.480 --> 01:23:52.950
for SAMA, mental health, drug addiction,
01:23:52.960 --> 01:23:55.110
counseling centers, all of that down
01:23:55.120 --> 01:23:57.350
below because
01:23:57.360 --> 01:24:00.709
if we all help one person, this world is
01:24:00.719 --> 01:24:03.510
going to be a much better place. So
01:24:03.520 --> 01:24:04.870
remember to believe in yourself, trust
01:24:04.880 --> 01:24:06.149
yourself, and love yourself because
01:24:06.159 --> 01:24:08.790
anything is possible. You're possible.
01:24:08.800 --> 01:24:10.149
Shout out to the sponsors as well.
01:24:10.159 --> 01:24:12.550
Kraken Media, Diamond Business, Bloom
01:24:12.560 --> 01:24:14.149
Real Estate, and everybody else, man.
01:24:14.159 --> 01:24:18.199
Hey, let's get it, man. Come on.
Kind: captions
Language: en
00:00:11.840 --> 00:00:13.270
What's up, fam? Welcome to another
00:00:13.280 --> 00:00:15.030
episode of Breaking Impossibilities.
00:00:15.040 --> 00:00:16.630
Man, we've been on fire lately. And
00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:18.310
check this out. We got another special
00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:21.990
guest just for you. We are going to be
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:25.109
going through a whole lot of deaths of
00:00:25.119 --> 00:00:27.189
overcoming adversity, breaking those
00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:30.790
impossibilities, drug addiction, jail
00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:33.350
institutions, the streets, whatever it
00:00:33.360 --> 00:00:35.190
is, man. This has helped you to get out
00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:37.670
of the rut, man. And we got one of the
00:00:37.680 --> 00:00:39.590
most
00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:41.830
fabulous, right? We got a town legend,
00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:43.590
man. And I appreciate you for coming on,
00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:44.869
man. We got Ump,
00:00:44.879 --> 00:00:47.430
>> man. I appreciate you um sharing your
00:00:47.440 --> 00:00:48.549
platform with me.
00:00:48.559 --> 00:00:52.950
>> Yeah. to um for us to dig in and dive in
00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:54.950
something that's that that means so much
00:00:54.960 --> 00:00:56.470
to both of us,
00:00:56.480 --> 00:00:59.990
>> you know, and I really admire, you know,
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:03.270
you um putting yourself out there to the
00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:05.030
public about some of the things that
00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:07.350
you've been through for impactful
00:01:07.360 --> 00:01:10.630
reasons, not to to to to, you know, to
00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:12.789
show out or show off, but to say, "Hey,
00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:15.270
man, I this is what I've been through,
00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:16.710
and there's some people out there that
00:01:16.720 --> 00:01:19.350
need to hear my story so they can um
00:01:19.360 --> 00:01:21.270
believe in their self enough to, you
00:01:21.280 --> 00:01:22.710
know, do the things that they need to do
00:01:22.720 --> 00:01:25.109
for theirelves to be able to um get
00:01:25.119 --> 00:01:27.190
their lives back on track as well.
00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:29.030
>> Yeah, man. Absolutely, man. And that's
00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:30.789
what breaking impossibilities is all
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:31.190
about.
00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:31.510
>> Definitely.
00:01:31.520 --> 00:01:32.789
>> You know what I'm saying? We use real
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:34.230
life stories to help people grow and
00:01:34.240 --> 00:01:35.910
break those impossibilities. You know
00:01:35.920 --> 00:01:38.149
what I mean? I come from a long history,
00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:39.670
family history of drug addicts.
00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:41.429
>> Drug ass. Yeah, I understand. I
00:01:41.439 --> 00:01:43.670
understand that feeling, man. Um just
00:01:43.680 --> 00:01:46.069
you know I used to um wake up in my
00:01:46.079 --> 00:01:48.550
mother house right as a kid maybe 8 n
00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:52.389
years old and um I can remember vividly
00:01:52.399 --> 00:01:56.310
um finding syringes in the house right
00:01:56.320 --> 00:01:58.149
and ask my mother like you know when I
00:01:58.159 --> 00:01:59.830
find it what's this and she would always
00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:02.630
blame it on my uncle you get what I'm
00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:04.789
saying and he had something to do with
00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:07.749
it as well but she never took personal
00:02:07.759 --> 00:02:11.750
responsibility to be able to say um yeah
00:02:11.760 --> 00:02:13.670
>> I have drug problem, son. And these
00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.350
things that you need to stay away from
00:02:15.360 --> 00:02:18.150
when you get older. Her lacking to take
00:02:18.160 --> 00:02:23.750
responsibility um for that may have
00:02:23.760 --> 00:02:25.030
>> caused a disruption.
00:02:25.040 --> 00:02:26.550
>> Yeah. A disruption. You know what I
00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:29.030
mean? Later on, for sure when I realized
00:02:29.040 --> 00:02:31.110
what was going on and and found out
00:02:31.120 --> 00:02:33.430
like, damn, my mama get high too.
00:02:33.440 --> 00:02:33.750
>> Yeah.
00:02:33.760 --> 00:02:35.910
>> You get what I'm saying? So, you know, I
00:02:35.920 --> 00:02:37.430
understand the importance of being
00:02:37.440 --> 00:02:38.790
honest with whatever it is you going
00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:41.830
through from that. Sometime our hurt
00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:43.910
ain't really hurt. It's just hurting in
00:02:43.920 --> 00:02:46.390
that moment. But it's also teaches us
00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:47.750
something that we need to know about
00:02:47.760 --> 00:02:48.630
life later.
00:02:48.640 --> 00:02:51.430
>> Hey, for real. For real, man. And oh
00:02:51.440 --> 00:02:53.509
man, the reason why I was laughing, man,
00:02:53.519 --> 00:02:55.110
was because of relation
00:02:55.120 --> 00:02:55.670
>> relation
00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:57.589
>> to exactly what you was talking about.
00:02:57.599 --> 00:02:58.390
>> Most definitely.
00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.710
>> I mean, same thing, bro. Finding the
00:03:00.720 --> 00:03:03.270
syringes, but I was so a fool with it.
00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:03.670
>> Yeah.
00:03:03.680 --> 00:03:05.670
>> I would take the syringes and I would
00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:07.190
squirt all that [ __ ] out.
00:03:07.200 --> 00:03:07.910
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:07.920 --> 00:03:08.949
>> Squirt it out. Right.
00:03:08.959 --> 00:03:10.790
>> And then my mama wouldn't say nothing,
00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:12.390
but when I did ask, she would always
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:14.869
blame it on my uncle.
00:03:14.879 --> 00:03:17.430
>> You see what I'm saying? Crazy some
00:03:17.440 --> 00:03:19.430
crazy stuff.
00:03:19.440 --> 00:03:21.270
And And what's so impactful about it is
00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:22.869
that the things that I had to go through
00:03:22.879 --> 00:03:24.630
to endure and the things that I had to
00:03:24.640 --> 00:03:26.309
witness. You know what I'm saying? Like
00:03:26.319 --> 00:03:28.070
I was just telling somebody on the pod
00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:29.350
too, man. It's just like, you know what
00:03:29.360 --> 00:03:32.309
I mean? My mama wasn't a bad mom, you
00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:34.149
know, but she might have looked like a
00:03:34.159 --> 00:03:36.710
bad person to society, but we was never
00:03:36.720 --> 00:03:38.789
in the system. Yeah. She made some bad
00:03:38.799 --> 00:03:39.270
choices,
00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:40.630
>> man. I agree to that. I'm thankful of
00:03:40.640 --> 00:03:41.030
that.
00:03:41.040 --> 00:03:42.470
>> But, you know what I mean? I never I
00:03:42.480 --> 00:03:43.830
don't know what foster care or group
00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:45.509
homes or none of that [ __ ] look like.
00:03:45.519 --> 00:03:46.229
You know what I'm saying? You know what
00:03:46.239 --> 00:03:47.670
I mean? I know what the streets look
00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:49.509
like. I know how cold it is. I know what
00:03:49.519 --> 00:03:51.030
the concrete feel like. I know what it
00:03:51.040 --> 00:03:53.190
is to feel hungry and all of that stuff.
00:03:53.200 --> 00:03:54.710
You know what I mean? And and I just
00:03:54.720 --> 00:03:56.869
could super relate to that, man, because
00:03:56.879 --> 00:03:59.030
that really caused a disruption for me.
00:03:59.040 --> 00:04:00.550
>> Can I share something that's that's
00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:03.509
extremely painful now today as an adult,
00:04:03.519 --> 00:04:05.429
right? Um,
00:04:05.439 --> 00:04:06.949
>> what's up, family? We know content is
00:04:06.959 --> 00:04:09.190
currency. And with Kraken Media, the
00:04:09.200 --> 00:04:11.509
number one Bay Area video marketing
00:04:11.519 --> 00:04:14.390
agency that creates high impact videos,
00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:17.349
ads, and clips that drive attention and
00:04:17.359 --> 00:04:20.069
result and creates real business
00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:21.590
attention. They have nationwide
00:04:21.600 --> 00:04:23.749
services. All you have to do is DM
00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:25.670
Kraken Media and let them know Breaking
00:04:25.680 --> 00:04:27.590
Possibility sent you to get the best
00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:28.469
deal possible.
00:04:28.479 --> 00:04:30.790
>> I work with kids, inner city kids at the
00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:32.310
most high risk, you know, I mean, the
00:04:32.320 --> 00:04:34.230
gunners we'll say, you know what I mean?
00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:36.230
And um and then I also work with some
00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:37.990
that's just
00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:39.749
bad because of the situation that
00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:42.390
they're being raised in. And to deal
00:04:42.400 --> 00:04:46.390
with the parents um firsthand um and
00:04:46.400 --> 00:04:48.790
seeing what their kids are going through
00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.510
based on what the parent is going
00:04:51.520 --> 00:04:55.270
through and how it trickles down. It's
00:04:55.280 --> 00:04:58.629
hurtful because um because I know this
00:04:58.639 --> 00:05:01.350
kid is going through it behind what the
00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:03.110
parent is going through and they're
00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:05.350
judging the parent not for what they
00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:08.230
going through but for what they lack.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:09.990
>> And what they not understanding is that
00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:12.230
man, you know, um just because I'm grown
00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:14.070
don't mean I'm grown. And just because I
00:05:14.080 --> 00:05:15.670
had you don't mean I'm in a position to
00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:17.430
take care of you financially, mentally,
00:05:17.440 --> 00:05:19.909
emotionally, spiritually. And to
00:05:19.919 --> 00:05:21.510
understand that these kids might be
00:05:21.520 --> 00:05:23.670
being neglected by accident. And then
00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:25.350
you try to come in and you try to fill
00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:27.110
those voids because you know what those
00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:28.710
voids kind of look like based on the
00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:32.070
voids that you had. Um, understanding
00:05:32.080 --> 00:05:34.629
that now from a a parents point of view
00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:36.870
as far as being a parent and also
00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:39.110
working with kids and trying to help the
00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:42.070
parent understand that
00:05:42.080 --> 00:05:44.070
we didn't
00:05:44.080 --> 00:05:45.830
you're right. We when you said that, it
00:05:45.840 --> 00:05:47.350
made me look at it like you're right,
00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:51.350
man. I I I may have been hurt, but I
00:05:51.360 --> 00:05:53.749
didn't go through certain hurts.
00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:55.830
>> But are we right for measuring hurt?
00:05:55.840 --> 00:05:57.110
Because hurt is hurt.
00:05:57.120 --> 00:05:57.590
>> Mhm.
00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:00.710
>> And no matter if you go to a group home
00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:02.710
or if you stay in a [ __ ] up home,
00:06:02.720 --> 00:06:03.830
excuse my language,
00:06:03.840 --> 00:06:04.550
>> no, you good.
00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:06.230
>> You still going through something.
00:06:06.240 --> 00:06:08.629
>> Yeah. And some of these kids are being
00:06:08.639 --> 00:06:10.950
blessed with having the opportunity to
00:06:10.960 --> 00:06:13.590
go to group homes to be around other
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:15.430
individuals that can teach them
00:06:15.440 --> 00:06:17.830
something different about life other
00:06:17.840 --> 00:06:19.670
than what they're learning from parents
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:21.670
that hasn't have the opportunity to
00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:23.670
learn something different about life to
00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:25.189
teach them something different about
00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:26.309
life.
00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:28.150
>> So you know what I'm saying? So some in
00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:30.070
some cases group homes is not good for a
00:06:30.080 --> 00:06:33.189
kid but in some case cases it is because
00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:35.670
it gives you the opportunity to get away
00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:37.749
from the things that's hurting you even
00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:39.029
though you going to be hurt that you
00:06:39.039 --> 00:06:41.510
missing them but it also gives you the
00:06:41.520 --> 00:06:44.870
opportunity to learn life differently.
00:06:44.880 --> 00:06:47.350
And you know, I I think that the
00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:49.510
experience with the group homes and
00:06:49.520 --> 00:06:53.110
stuff like that range on a huge scale of
00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:57.029
being extremely bad to worse,
00:06:57.039 --> 00:06:57.590
>> right?
00:06:57.600 --> 00:07:00.790
>> And and it could be just from someone no
00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:03.749
longer being in position to take care of
00:07:03.759 --> 00:07:04.469
you.
00:07:04.479 --> 00:07:06.950
>> For sure. For sure. 100%. And that's
00:07:06.960 --> 00:07:08.629
where it's like you measuring the worst.
00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:10.230
What's worse? Oh, I'm going to be at
00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:13.350
home with my parents. No, a nobody to be
00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:15.430
to be absolute nobody. But then I go to
00:07:15.440 --> 00:07:16.950
this group home and
00:07:16.960 --> 00:07:18.230
>> you know I've heard a lot of stories
00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:20.070
people go to group homes they get raped
00:07:20.080 --> 00:07:21.670
they get bullied they all these
00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:23.510
different things you know and it's just
00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:24.870
like but
00:07:24.880 --> 00:07:28.070
>> what I think the issue is if my opinion
00:07:28.080 --> 00:07:30.790
and I love the controversial
00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:32.230
I love I've been getting real
00:07:32.240 --> 00:07:33.670
controversial on here
00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:35.749
>> is I think the wrong people
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:36.550
>> are running group homes
00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:37.430
>> are running the group homes.
00:07:37.440 --> 00:07:39.510
>> You want me to tell you why? Because you
00:07:39.520 --> 00:07:41.350
got people running group homes that
00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:43.189
don't come from what that looks like for
00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:44.390
the kids.
00:07:44.400 --> 00:07:45.670
>> Controversy.
00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:49.270
>> So you got people who's running a
00:07:49.280 --> 00:07:50.629
business
00:07:50.639 --> 00:07:50.870
>> Yeah.
00:07:50.880 --> 00:07:51.589
>> and not a home.
00:07:51.599 --> 00:07:52.950
>> They see numbers, not people.
00:07:52.960 --> 00:07:53.749
>> You get what I'm saying?
00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:54.710
>> Yeah. For sure.
00:07:54.720 --> 00:07:56.550
>> So So it takes somebody It takes for
00:07:56.560 --> 00:07:58.869
somebody who's been through what that
00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:01.749
kid going through to care enough to put
00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:04.309
that kid in an environment that they can
00:08:04.319 --> 00:08:06.469
be successful in.
00:08:06.479 --> 00:08:08.150
>> You get what I'm saying? You can't you
00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:09.830
can't take you can't send a kid to a
00:08:09.840 --> 00:08:12.469
group to to a person who only wants to
00:08:12.479 --> 00:08:14.469
see that kid as a denomination.
00:08:14.479 --> 00:08:15.270
>> Come on now.
00:08:15.280 --> 00:08:16.710
>> You get what I'm saying? And expect that
00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:17.749
kid to be okay.
00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:19.749
>> And I I think what I think what's
00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:21.830
important is that the
00:08:21.840 --> 00:08:24.710
>> the group homes, you know, I think
00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:26.230
they're getting a little better now cuz
00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:28.469
I I work in the community. I work, you
00:08:28.479 --> 00:08:30.309
know, with kids and I work with adults.
00:08:30.319 --> 00:08:33.190
I work with everybody, right? And uh I I
00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:35.110
think what I've been seeing a lot more
00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:37.029
is there's a lot more programs with
00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:39.829
inside the program. Meaning, but like
00:08:39.839 --> 00:08:41.670
for instance, right, say me and you
00:08:41.680 --> 00:08:44.470
start a start get a group home going,
00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:45.670
>> it's going it's going to be a lot
00:08:45.680 --> 00:08:47.430
different than others.
00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:49.269
>> One, it's going to look a lot different.
00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:51.829
Two, we going to put a lot of things in
00:08:51.839 --> 00:08:54.150
place for entrepreneurship.
00:08:54.160 --> 00:08:54.630
>> Yeah.
00:08:54.640 --> 00:08:58.470
>> Uh uh uh uh uh trades. You big heavy on
00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:00.389
you, man. And I see you was posting real
00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:02.230
early about the bid for the long shore,
00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:03.269
man. Hey, get on this.
00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:06.070
>> I got 25 people I got 25 people that hit
00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:07.350
me that said,
00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:07.829
>> thank you.
00:09:07.839 --> 00:09:10.150
>> I'm only on this list
00:09:10.160 --> 00:09:12.710
>> because of how much you pushed it, not
00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:14.470
because I cared about it until I said
00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:15.829
how much you cared about it.
00:09:15.839 --> 00:09:16.790
>> Yeah. You see what I'm saying?
00:09:16.800 --> 00:09:18.150
>> You get what I'm saying? And that's just
00:09:18.160 --> 00:09:20.230
knowing that's just that's just me
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:21.829
saying, "Man,
00:09:21.839 --> 00:09:24.870
>> I'm per personally I'm too old for
00:09:24.880 --> 00:09:25.590
this."
00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:26.790
>> But that's something I wanted to do,
00:09:26.800 --> 00:09:27.910
though. But that's something I would
00:09:27.920 --> 00:09:28.790
have loved to do.
00:09:28.800 --> 00:09:29.829
>> Come on.
00:09:29.839 --> 00:09:32.470
>> I see people I see this where people got
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:34.710
boats, big cars, big houses. So some of
00:09:34.720 --> 00:09:36.150
these youngsters that I that that that
00:09:36.160 --> 00:09:39.190
that I care so much about, I want you to
00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:40.790
jump on this opportunity because this
00:09:40.800 --> 00:09:42.790
opportunity can change your life. It can
00:09:42.800 --> 00:09:44.870
take you out the streets. It can give
00:09:44.880 --> 00:09:46.630
you more than these streets can give you
00:09:46.640 --> 00:09:48.710
if you just sign up. I ain't asking you
00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:49.590
to do nothing else.
00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:50.710
>> You don't even have to care about it
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:51.110
right now.
00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:52.790
>> I ain't cuz And it ain't nothing to care
00:09:52.800 --> 00:09:54.070
about right now cuz it's going to take
00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:55.750
you one to five years to get there.
00:09:55.760 --> 00:09:56.630
>> Yeah. Exactly.
00:09:56.640 --> 00:09:59.190
>> You get what I'm saying? But sign up.
00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:01.590
Put yourself in the position to get in
00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:02.630
the game,
00:10:02.640 --> 00:10:04.150
>> not put yourself in the position to get
00:10:04.160 --> 00:10:05.990
out the game. And it takes you five
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:08.150
minutes. You go on Instagram all day. It
00:10:08.160 --> 00:10:09.990
took you two minutes to do that link.
00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:11.269
Boom. And bam.
00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:13.190
>> Man, I went even the furthest. I was
00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:15.190
signing people up.
00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:17.110
>> I'm putting people's names in there. I'm
00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:18.150
like, "Hey, you going to be a long
00:10:18.160 --> 00:10:19.590
shoreman. Hey, you going to be long.
00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:20.949
What's that? Don't trip, man.
00:10:20.959 --> 00:10:21.990
>> I'm going to check the list. If your
00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:24.310
name on it, I just need you to hit me,
00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:25.590
man. told me, "Thank you, man."
00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:27.190
>> See what I'm saying? You changing lives,
00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:27.509
bro.
00:10:27.519 --> 00:10:29.590
>> And it and and it mean a lot to me
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:33.030
because I'm not doing it for acceptance.
00:10:33.040 --> 00:10:34.389
>> You feel me? I ain't doing it to be
00:10:34.399 --> 00:10:37.350
liked. I'm doing it because I don't want
00:10:37.360 --> 00:10:40.790
to do nothing in life,
00:10:40.800 --> 00:10:42.389
>> but be there for my people.
00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:43.509
>> Come on.
00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:46.230
>> I don't I don't care about fancy things.
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:49.110
I don't care about I could have been
00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:51.190
walked away from what this area looks
00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:53.190
like and into some other things. I've
00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:55.350
had opportunities presented to myself
00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:57.509
that I turn down because it's going to
00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:00.630
take me away from my purpose.
00:11:00.640 --> 00:11:02.710
So, is you giving me an opportunity or
00:11:02.720 --> 00:11:05.509
is you pulling me away from my purpose?
00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:08.310
My purpose means more to me than the
00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:09.990
position that you may be able to put me
00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:12.150
in. And the only reason you willing to
00:11:12.160 --> 00:11:13.829
put me in that position is because at
00:11:13.839 --> 00:11:15.350
the end of the day, it offers something
00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:18.150
to you. You get what I'm saying? I'm
00:11:18.160 --> 00:11:21.110
trying to be um a leader. I'm trying to
00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:23.030
be an activist. I'm trying to be a
00:11:23.040 --> 00:11:25.910
standup guy
00:11:25.920 --> 00:11:28.630
>> to my community where I know it's
00:11:28.640 --> 00:11:29.670
lacked.
00:11:29.680 --> 00:11:31.269
>> Can we rewind just a little bit?
00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:31.590
>> Yes.
00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:32.949
>> You got to take trying out of it because
00:11:32.959 --> 00:11:33.990
you already doing it.
00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:35.350
>> Well, thank you. I appreciate that.
00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:36.710
>> Yes, sir. You already doing it, man.
00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:37.910
>> You know, so that that's that that's
00:11:37.920 --> 00:11:43.350
that's my goal, man. Um I'm trying to be
00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:45.030
what I needed when I was going through
00:11:45.040 --> 00:11:46.069
the things that I was going through.
00:11:46.079 --> 00:11:47.829
when I was going through addiction,
00:11:47.839 --> 00:11:51.350
>> when I was going through uh um
00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:53.430
just being a kid, man, you know, my
00:11:53.440 --> 00:11:54.949
father running in and out of prison, my
00:11:54.959 --> 00:11:57.030
mother being on drugs, um me just
00:11:57.040 --> 00:11:58.710
raising starting to raise myself right
00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:00.389
around 12 years old. Since then, I've
00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:03.110
been so at a 12 year old mind trying to
00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:05.110
make adult decisions for itself doesn't
00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:07.750
work. You know, I made a post earlier
00:12:07.760 --> 00:12:11.430
today um and it was I don't want no kid
00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:12.870
to choose the streets.
00:12:12.880 --> 00:12:13.430
>> Yeah,
00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:14.870
>> I don't. Mhm.
00:12:14.880 --> 00:12:17.750
>> But the ones who
00:12:17.760 --> 00:12:21.829
somewhat make it, somewhat survive,
00:12:21.839 --> 00:12:24.230
somewhat get something out of it is the
00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:27.110
ones that's being groomed
00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:29.509
by other people who's been in this life,
00:12:29.519 --> 00:12:31.509
who's been through the ups and downs,
00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:34.069
who's got a a a nice flow of what this
00:12:34.079 --> 00:12:35.910
life looks like, and they grab somebody
00:12:35.920 --> 00:12:37.670
they they see have full of potential,
00:12:37.680 --> 00:12:40.629
and they guide them. Most of our youth
00:12:40.639 --> 00:12:43.509
are jumping off the sidewalk and into
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.230
the street where it's speeding traffic
00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:48.629
and don't look both ways and don't know
00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:50.629
what's out there until they get out
00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:52.710
there. They don't know the rules. They
00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:54.710
don't know the expectations
00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:56.790
and they don't know what come with it.
00:12:56.800 --> 00:12:58.389
They just know they're trying to take
00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:00.069
care of something that's going on inside
00:13:00.079 --> 00:13:01.990
of them right there at that moment.
00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:05.509
which our kids shouldn't be having to be
00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:07.910
concerned about if they going to eat
00:13:07.920 --> 00:13:11.110
tonight, if they going to have clothes,
00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:13.030
if they if they brothers and sisters
00:13:13.040 --> 00:13:14.629
going to have something. Some of these
00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:16.310
kids are running out there into these
00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:18.790
streets, not just for themselves, but
00:13:18.800 --> 00:13:20.870
for their siblings. And the only thing
00:13:20.880 --> 00:13:23.670
that they can see that can take care of
00:13:23.680 --> 00:13:25.910
it immediately
00:13:25.920 --> 00:13:29.190
is running behind their they friends.
00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:31.350
that's that's already showing them that,
00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:32.629
hey, if you do this, you can get a
00:13:32.639 --> 00:13:35.190
couple dollars. So, they're willing to
00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:37.829
put their self at risk
00:13:37.839 --> 00:13:41.750
of death or jail to take care of their
00:13:41.760 --> 00:13:43.350
siblings
00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:45.269
and they
00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:48.310
some in some cases even their parents.
00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:49.750
>> You get what I'm saying? But we're
00:13:49.760 --> 00:13:52.230
punishing them for being put in
00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:54.150
positions that kids shouldn't be in. And
00:13:54.160 --> 00:13:56.150
then we're holding them responsible for
00:13:56.160 --> 00:13:58.629
making decisions that they shouldn't be
00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.189
in position to make as well. You
00:14:01.199 --> 00:14:05.509
understand me? So we are the ones that's
00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:06.949
truly letting them down.
00:14:06.959 --> 00:14:08.310
>> Mhm.
00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.069
>> You get what I'm saying? We are the ones
00:14:10.079 --> 00:14:12.790
that's not acknowledging why they really
00:14:12.800 --> 00:14:15.670
outside because we judge before
00:14:15.680 --> 00:14:17.430
understanding. like this a little might
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:18.949
be a little bit of the opposite, but I
00:14:18.959 --> 00:14:21.509
know um last night I was talking to
00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:23.350
somebody and we was talking about the
00:14:23.360 --> 00:14:25.829
hood heroes, right? When we jump off
00:14:25.839 --> 00:14:26.629
that porch,
00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:27.350
>> right? Right.
00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:29.189
>> And like the OGs that are out there,
00:14:29.199 --> 00:14:29.829
>> right?
00:14:29.839 --> 00:14:32.949
>> And judging and and I'm saying like, you
00:14:32.959 --> 00:14:33.990
know what I'm saying? If you're not
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:35.750
living in it, keep your opinion out of
00:14:35.760 --> 00:14:37.430
it because you're just judging off of
00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:39.910
what you see. and you know the man
00:14:39.920 --> 00:14:41.590
that's down there and yeah of course
00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.910
he's already settled into you know his
00:14:43.920 --> 00:14:45.750
business of selling dope or in the
00:14:45.760 --> 00:14:47.269
streets or whatever like that but I know
00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:49.189
when I was going down to the corner of
00:14:49.199 --> 00:14:51.590
Fairfax and High Street or to the top or
00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:53.910
wherever the OG's was like shushing me
00:14:53.920 --> 00:14:56.389
away man get your ass up out of here man
00:14:56.399 --> 00:14:58.470
go somewhere else you know what I'm
00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:00.389
saying and then but it's like and then
00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:01.990
we talked about earlier too is about the
00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:03.829
kids not understanding or making the
00:15:03.839 --> 00:15:05.269
choice right and then I was just like
00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.269
well I did make the choice to keep
00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:08.550
coming back down there,
00:15:08.560 --> 00:15:08.949
>> right?
00:15:08.959 --> 00:15:10.470
>> You know what I mean? And then I was put
00:15:10.480 --> 00:15:11.990
under a wing and was like, "Here, we
00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:13.509
going to do this this way. We going to
00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:15.590
show look, we going to do it this way."
00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:17.670
Right? But then what I'm getting to is
00:15:17.680 --> 00:15:19.750
like the mentorship because when you
00:15:19.760 --> 00:15:22.310
jump off the porch and you run into the
00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:24.150
street and you ain't got no recollection
00:15:24.160 --> 00:15:25.990
of what's going on, you going to get
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.790
your ass smacked by these cars. You need
00:15:28.800 --> 00:15:29.430
a mentor.
00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:30.870
>> Yes. You need to have awareness.
00:15:30.880 --> 00:15:33.189
>> That's what OG's supposed to be. Even if
00:15:33.199 --> 00:15:36.550
you mentoring me wrong,
00:15:36.560 --> 00:15:39.030
you're still making my possibilities of
00:15:39.040 --> 00:15:41.670
survival in this lifestyle strong.
00:15:41.680 --> 00:15:44.949
>> Yes. Yes. And I'm not no way in shape or
00:15:44.959 --> 00:15:47.990
form am I promoting any of that. But the
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:50.150
reality of it is is because I'm
00:15:50.160 --> 00:15:51.350
>> we going to talk facts and we going to
00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:51.990
talk fiction.
00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.389
>> We we going to talk reality and fact
00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:56.870
because absolutely because 100% of the
00:15:56.880 --> 00:15:58.150
time like
00:15:58.160 --> 00:16:00.389
>> we don't have no control of these kids
00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:02.069
jumping off the porch. We don't have no
00:16:02.079 --> 00:16:02.470
control.
00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:04.150
>> We don't have no control of that. It's
00:16:04.160 --> 00:16:05.269
happening
00:16:05.279 --> 00:16:07.269
>> at a high speed rate
00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:08.230
>> daily.
00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:09.509
>> You know what I'm saying? Like
00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:11.509
everybody's trying to be somebody else.
00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:13.350
>> And then know which makes it even worse
00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:17.110
now. When we was young, it wasn't being
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:18.790
promoted
00:16:18.800 --> 00:16:20.710
>> through media to us.
00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:21.189
>> Yes.
00:16:21.199 --> 00:16:23.110
>> We only seen it because we walked
00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:25.269
outside and it was in front of us.
00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:25.670
>> Yeah.
00:16:25.680 --> 00:16:27.110
>> But it wasn't in music.
00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:27.509
>> Yeah.
00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:28.870
>> It wasn't in media.
00:16:28.880 --> 00:16:33.509
>> N. It wasn't in in in it wasn't in our
00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:35.350
idols and people that we look up to
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:37.829
based on the things that they have in a
00:16:37.839 --> 00:16:41.110
professional setting to be this is how
00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:42.470
they go about getting it.
00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:43.110
>> Mhm.
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:44.230
>> We didn't have that.
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:44.949
>> No.
00:16:44.959 --> 00:16:46.949
>> Now it definitely wasn't in your music
00:16:46.959 --> 00:16:48.629
as much as it started to be in your
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:50.790
music. Yeah. Exactly. Say that. And now
00:16:50.800 --> 00:16:53.749
>> now it's music. It's all in the music.
00:16:53.759 --> 00:16:55.430
It is the music and it's just like what
00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:58.230
the hell like what? Like oh okay. So
00:16:58.240 --> 00:16:59.670
this is what we promoting because that's
00:16:59.680 --> 00:17:01.749
where the money is. And and I've always
00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:03.749
believed in, you know, where the most
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:05.669
greed, power, race, and everything is
00:17:05.679 --> 00:17:07.429
always going to be behind money.
00:17:07.439 --> 00:17:08.150
>> Behind money.
00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:09.350
>> You know what I'm saying? So how we
00:17:09.360 --> 00:17:12.309
going to use this power and this money
00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:16.150
to make a positive change, you know? And
00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:18.630
it's like, so it takes people like you,
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:21.029
me, um you know what I mean? Everybody.
00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:22.870
And like I was telling you, like we was
00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:25.510
talking, man, we huge shout out to Mr.
00:17:25.520 --> 00:17:27.029
fab and everything that y'all doing over
00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:28.950
there with the dope era, man. You know,
00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:30.549
I got to give y'all flowers, man. Cuz
00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:32.390
y'all really like it don't matter how
00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:34.310
bad Oakland look, man. Y'all still out
00:17:34.320 --> 00:17:35.909
there running it up for them. You know
00:17:35.919 --> 00:17:37.590
what I'm saying? And that's exactly what
00:17:37.600 --> 00:17:39.990
they need. And they need these positive
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:41.750
influences. Like I was telling you, I
00:17:41.760 --> 00:17:43.270
was a counselor in the city working with
00:17:43.280 --> 00:17:44.710
adults and stuff like that.
00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:47.350
>> But my passion has always been for kids
00:17:47.360 --> 00:17:48.950
>> because I want to be there for somebody
00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:50.070
like I would have didn't have that
00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:50.549
person there.
00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:51.350
>> Exactly.
00:17:51.360 --> 00:17:53.110
Like my [ __ ] was like I was coming
00:17:53.120 --> 00:17:54.870
outside on the porch and I couldn't even
00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:56.549
get a dollar from my mama to get a red
00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:58.710
hot burrito and some bags of Cheetos.
00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:02.150
Just a $2 meal turf turf meal. You know
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:03.909
what I'm saying? Like I couldn't even
00:18:03.919 --> 00:18:06.630
get that and let alone a white tea.
00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:08.070
>> You know what I'm saying? So it's like
00:18:08.080 --> 00:18:09.830
well hold on. I got to do it like this.
00:18:09.840 --> 00:18:11.990
>> Who you going to listen to?
00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:13.830
>> The person that feeds you and clothe you
00:18:13.840 --> 00:18:15.110
or the person that's not?
00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:16.630
>> I'm going right down to the street. You
00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:17.909
get what I'm saying? Figure out how to
00:18:17.919 --> 00:18:19.190
get this money in my life. The same
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:21.750
thing we went through is the same kid
00:18:21.760 --> 00:18:23.029
thing thing these kids are going
00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:25.350
through. It's just intensified.
00:18:25.360 --> 00:18:26.470
>> Intensified.
00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:28.710
>> That's it, man. It's no difference. It's
00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:30.549
just levels to life.
00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:30.950
>> Yeah.
00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:34.150
>> And and destruction grows when it goes.
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:35.830
>> You know what I'm saying? And and and we
00:18:35.840 --> 00:18:39.669
haven't found a way to um to stop being
00:18:39.679 --> 00:18:41.270
our own worst enemy.
00:18:41.280 --> 00:18:41.909
>> Mhm.
00:18:41.919 --> 00:18:43.510
>> Because we all fighting to try to get
00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:45.110
out of a situation that none of us want
00:18:45.120 --> 00:18:47.270
to be in and we don't know how to fight
00:18:47.280 --> 00:18:49.430
together. So we fight alone and then
00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:50.870
when we fight alone they mean we're
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:52.870
fighting against everything around us.
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:53.190
>> Mhm.
00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:55.430
>> You get what I'm saying? We they say
00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:58.710
they say you don't go in the this not
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.310
even say white. You don't go in a rich
00:19:00.320 --> 00:19:03.270
folks neighborhood and tear that up.
00:19:03.280 --> 00:19:05.029
Well guess what? I don't even know how
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:07.590
to get to where that is. And when I get
00:19:07.600 --> 00:19:09.590
there I ain't going to be able to do it
00:19:09.600 --> 00:19:11.350
because ain't nobody else I to do it
00:19:11.360 --> 00:19:11.830
with.
00:19:11.840 --> 00:19:14.549
>> No. And and plus you going to have four,
00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:16.310
five cars behind you by the time you get
00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:17.430
to the spot where it's
00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:19.029
>> But it's easy for me to blend in and
00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:21.669
destroy where I come from because I look
00:19:21.679 --> 00:19:23.270
just like
00:19:23.280 --> 00:19:25.029
>> the people that's doing good, the people
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:27.029
that's doing bad, and the people that's
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:29.590
out here being self-destructive. We all
00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:31.270
look the same, man. We all come from the
00:19:31.280 --> 00:19:33.110
same problems and the same pain. And
00:19:33.120 --> 00:19:34.789
what they don't really understand, and I
00:19:34.799 --> 00:19:36.230
want I'm going to switch gears after
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:37.510
this because you know everything that
00:19:37.520 --> 00:19:38.710
you've been through and came through and
00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:42.070
why you are here today. But uh
00:19:42.080 --> 00:19:44.070
>> what they don't understand is when they
00:19:44.080 --> 00:19:45.190
be like,
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:48.710
>> "Oh, you know,
00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:51.029
>> it be like, man, y'all fighting against
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:53.270
each other. Y'all doing this. You know,
00:19:53.280 --> 00:19:55.110
it's a lot of black-on-black crime." Or
00:19:55.120 --> 00:19:56.950
if you in the hood, it's this hood. You
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:58.789
you from this part of the street, you
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:00.630
funking with this part of the street,
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:03.430
right? It's all it is. But why, like you
00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:04.950
said, why don't you go to this rich
00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:06.310
neighborhood
00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:09.029
>> and do that? Well, because right now we
00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:11.110
in this circle
00:20:11.120 --> 00:20:13.190
>> and we in survival mode
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:14.870
>> and it's not that we out here and I'm
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:16.710
out here trying to get at you. I'm
00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:18.789
trying to keep myself safe by you
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:19.990
getting at me. So, I'm going to get at
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.190
you first.
00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:22.310
>> You know what I'm saying? So, it's just
00:20:22.320 --> 00:20:24.070
like and that's where the that's where
00:20:24.080 --> 00:20:25.750
that circle is going around and around
00:20:25.760 --> 00:20:27.110
and around and we need to come in with a
00:20:27.120 --> 00:20:28.630
hammer and smash that [ __ ] and break
00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:30.230
that [ __ ] We need to break those
00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:32.710
generational cycles that's happening and
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:34.390
it's hard to do especially you know with
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:35.830
the influences you know what I mean and
00:20:35.840 --> 00:20:37.909
I'm always big on two is if we all
00:20:37.919 --> 00:20:39.909
collaborate and network man we're going
00:20:39.919 --> 00:20:41.909
to be able to reach you reach just
00:20:41.919 --> 00:20:43.669
that's just 25 people that came back to
00:20:43.679 --> 00:20:46.470
you and that's just 25 people that say
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:47.909
that doesn't mean that's all I affected
00:20:47.919 --> 00:20:50.870
that's just 25 people it it that same
00:20:50.880 --> 00:20:52.310
amount of people say I didn't make the
00:20:52.320 --> 00:20:54.630
list but guess what at least you signed
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:55.110
up for it
00:20:55.120 --> 00:20:57.190
>> and now you know what it is you planted
00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:59.909
that seed and even with the 25 people,
00:20:59.919 --> 00:21:02.470
how many of their families did you
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.390
positively affect
00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:06.390
>> from that later on when they get in the
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:07.430
working and all that?
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:08.549
>> You know what I'm saying? Because it's
00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:10.390
important to understand that like you
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:12.870
might have 10 eyes on you, but what's
00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:14.149
behind those 10 eyes?
00:21:14.159 --> 00:21:15.350
>> It's voices.
00:21:15.360 --> 00:21:16.230
>> You know what I'm saying?
00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:18.230
>> Voices make it go out more,
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:19.830
>> you know? And so it's important, man.
00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:21.270
But like, man, we touched on a lot of
00:21:21.280 --> 00:21:24.710
stuff already. Uh, but man, talk about
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:27.029
like man your I know you was seven and
00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:29.430
eight finding syringes with dope in it.
00:21:29.440 --> 00:21:31.270
Your mama blaming it on man. How did
00:21:31.280 --> 00:21:34.789
that how did that right there what was
00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:37.190
that cord like when your mama told you
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.789
that? What was your first thought? You
00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:39.190
remember?
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:41.830
>> I don't I don't know. I don't I don't um
00:21:41.840 --> 00:21:43.350
>> Okay. He was Okay.
00:21:43.360 --> 00:21:46.230
>> Yeah. Like I you know we I was a kid.
00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:46.470
Yeah.
00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:48.230
>> You know what I mean? And I probably was
00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:50.149
glad that she lied to me because it
00:21:50.159 --> 00:21:51.029
probably would have been a lot more
00:21:51.039 --> 00:21:53.029
hurtful if she said it was her. M
00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:55.029
>> but when you find out your mom using
00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:59.909
drugs once you realize it
00:21:59.919 --> 00:22:05.110
>> I think it was more painful
00:22:05.120 --> 00:22:07.110
becoming an addict than it was knowing
00:22:07.120 --> 00:22:10.149
my mother was an addict.
00:22:10.159 --> 00:22:12.070
>> Talk about it. Because if my mother
00:22:12.080 --> 00:22:14.710
would have told me she was an addict, it
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:16.390
might have gave me reason not to want to
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:17.909
become an addict. Because she could have
00:22:17.919 --> 00:22:20.950
taught me from a place of openness and
00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:22.950
not from a place of don't do drugs,
00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:24.789
don't do drugs, don't do drugs instead
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:26.630
of saying son I do drugs. This why we in
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:28.710
the situation we in. When you become
00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:30.390
have the opportunity to become a parent
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:32.149
and an adult, if you do some of the
00:22:32.159 --> 00:22:35.350
things that I did as a as your parent,
00:22:35.360 --> 00:22:37.430
you going to be the same parent I am to
00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:39.190
the next generation. So, let me be
00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:41.350
honest with you about
00:22:41.360 --> 00:22:43.669
>> my drug use and what it's doing to us
00:22:43.679 --> 00:22:45.750
and how it's preventing how it's
00:22:45.760 --> 00:22:47.909
preventing me from being the mother that
00:22:47.919 --> 00:22:50.549
you need me to be. You get what I'm
00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:52.710
saying? And it might have made our
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:54.630
relationship stronger and it may been
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:56.390
able to to gave me a better
00:22:56.400 --> 00:22:57.669
understanding of why I should have
00:22:57.679 --> 00:22:59.830
stayed away from drugs. Growing up, I
00:22:59.840 --> 00:23:01.750
was an athlete. All my friends used
00:23:01.760 --> 00:23:04.230
drugs. You know, that's Grimmy's first
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:07.750
came out. Um, some of them, you know, we
00:23:07.760 --> 00:23:09.110
they might have been doing stuff. I
00:23:09.120 --> 00:23:10.950
never smoking weed. I never really I
00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:13.110
never really tripped on using drugs. I
00:23:13.120 --> 00:23:15.190
ended up going to YA. And, you know, I
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:17.029
like to be transparent about my story. I
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:18.950
end up going to YA. And when I got out
00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:21.669
of YA, I had went to work furlow. And
00:23:21.679 --> 00:23:23.909
um, when I left, all my friends, we was
00:23:23.919 --> 00:23:26.549
hustling. When I got back, they was
00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:28.789
getting high.
00:23:28.799 --> 00:23:31.110
I used to be, man, them suckers. Woo woo
00:23:31.120 --> 00:23:33.190
woo. I, you feel me? cuz it hurt me that
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:35.590
my circle of friends was they wasn't we
00:23:35.600 --> 00:23:37.270
was still hustling. You know, when you
00:23:37.280 --> 00:23:38.950
first get high, you still getting some
00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:40.630
money. You just creating a drug habit.
00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:42.149
You building it up. You in your early
00:23:42.159 --> 00:23:43.669
stages of what that looks like for you
00:23:43.679 --> 00:23:45.190
without understanding the damage that
00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:47.750
it's going to do in the long run. So,
00:23:47.760 --> 00:23:49.350
when you first get high and you think,
00:23:49.360 --> 00:23:51.990
"Damn, it didn't kill me. I still
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:53.909
getting up getting into some money. I
00:23:53.919 --> 00:23:55.510
can get high and still be okay." We
00:23:55.520 --> 00:23:56.710
don't know the road ahead of us. We
00:23:56.720 --> 00:23:58.950
don't understand that part. Um, we think
00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:01.350
that I I ain't going to be like him
00:24:01.360 --> 00:24:03.029
getting high. I'm going be able to be
00:24:03.039 --> 00:24:05.430
okay because I'm seeing the end of his
00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:07.350
story from the eyes of the beginning of
00:24:07.360 --> 00:24:08.390
my story.
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:09.669
>> Yeah. And they don't understand that.
00:24:09.679 --> 00:24:11.590
>> They don't understand that. Right. So,
00:24:11.600 --> 00:24:15.110
um, so I got out and we was in the, um,
00:24:15.120 --> 00:24:16.710
six blocks up the street. Man, it's
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:18.789
crazy. Um,
00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:21.029
we was in the house one night and um,
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:23.590
and my friends was telling me how you
00:24:23.600 --> 00:24:26.070
could have sex all night off hero. The
00:24:26.080 --> 00:24:28.710
first time I got high, I didn't get high
00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:31.430
to get high. I got high to go have sex
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:33.909
all night long.
00:24:33.919 --> 00:24:36.710
>> Once I had sex all night long, it gave
00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:39.110
me a different standard of what I wanted
00:24:39.120 --> 00:24:41.990
sex to look like to me. So, every time I
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:44.549
wanted to go have sex, I made sure I got
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:47.510
high. What I didn't understand was that
00:24:47.520 --> 00:24:50.070
after three or four days of consistent
00:24:50.080 --> 00:24:52.149
getting high, I was going to wake up one
00:24:52.159 --> 00:24:54.390
morning and didn't have a choice if I
00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:57.269
wanted to feel normal to but go back and
00:24:57.279 --> 00:24:59.190
get high.
00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:02.230
I started getting high for sexual
00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:03.830
purposes,
00:25:03.840 --> 00:25:07.750
not for get high purposes. It became my
00:25:07.760 --> 00:25:10.950
lifestyle. I got high for 22 years. It
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:13.350
ran me in and out of prison. It made me
00:25:13.360 --> 00:25:15.590
into a version of myself that I didn't
00:25:15.600 --> 00:25:19.430
even know was possible. I was being a
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:22.310
person that I never knew I could be. All
00:25:22.320 --> 00:25:24.950
from trying something for the wrong
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.789
reason. I tell these kids every day, the
00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:32.630
perk is the same thing as the heron.
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:35.590
It's giving you the same effect. Make
00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:37.510
you have sex for a long period of time.
00:25:37.520 --> 00:25:39.510
It takes away your conscience. It'll
00:25:39.520 --> 00:25:41.269
make you get out here and do damaging
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:43.350
things to other people without caring
00:25:43.360 --> 00:25:44.710
about it. And then it's going to wake
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:46.710
you up saying you better go get enough
00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:48.950
money to be able to get you enough perks
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:50.950
to get you through the day so that you
00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:54.710
can be somewhat of who you are inside
00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:56.789
physically because without that you're
00:25:56.799 --> 00:25:58.549
not going to feel right physically. You
00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:00.149
know what I'm saying? So that was my
00:26:00.159 --> 00:26:03.269
initial um introduction and reasons for
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:05.269
wanting to use drugs for sexual
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:07.750
purposes. Not to please myself, but to
00:26:07.760 --> 00:26:09.750
be able to be able to have all the girls
00:26:09.760 --> 00:26:12.950
saying unfuck all night. We look for
00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:15.990
acceptance from so many other people
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:18.549
instead of ourselves that we're willing
00:26:18.559 --> 00:26:21.510
to do so many things that don't fit with
00:26:21.520 --> 00:26:23.110
what we think we should be doing for
00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:26.870
ourselves to be able to impress the eyes
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:29.669
of others. And that happened to me, man.
00:26:29.679 --> 00:26:31.669
And I'm man enough to say that I ran in
00:26:31.679 --> 00:26:33.750
out of jail and got hired for 20ome
00:26:33.760 --> 00:26:38.070
years trying to live up to a image that
00:26:38.080 --> 00:26:41.029
I wanted other people to see me as
00:26:41.039 --> 00:26:43.430
instead of just looking at myself and
00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:45.990
saying who do I want to see me as? And
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:47.750
do I want to see me as a drug addict?
00:26:47.760 --> 00:26:48.549
No, I didn't.
00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:50.789
>> Man,
00:26:50.799 --> 00:26:53.190
that's a lot.
00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:55.750
That's a lot. You know, because one
00:26:55.760 --> 00:26:59.190
night turned into 22 years. 22 years,
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:00.149
man.
00:27:00.159 --> 00:27:02.390
>> And let me tell you something, you want
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:04.870
to know the craziest part.
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:08.710
And 22 years went that fast. Life is a
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:11.990
lot slower when you living it right.
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:13.430
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:13.440 --> 00:27:15.190
>> Than when you living it wrong.
00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:16.230
>> Yeah.
00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:18.070
>> When you living it wrong, you get so
00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:20.310
many years incarceration. When you go to
00:27:20.320 --> 00:27:21.990
jail, you got to be this version of you
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:23.830
that you really ain't to be able to fit
00:27:23.840 --> 00:27:26.230
in there. When you're in the street, you
00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:28.070
got to put all these titles on yourself.
00:27:28.080 --> 00:27:30.310
I'm a ganga. I'm a thug. I'm a pimp. I'm
00:27:30.320 --> 00:27:32.470
a player. I'm a jacker. I'm a thief. I'm
00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:36.950
a gunner. None of that. These are the
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:38.950
things and ways that I got to behave
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:40.630
just to be able to fit into the world
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:42.390
that I don't fit in.
00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:43.269
>> Mhm.
00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:44.070
>> You hear me?
00:27:44.080 --> 00:27:44.870
>> Yeah. For sure.
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:47.269
>> I got to be a version of myself that
00:27:47.279 --> 00:27:50.070
ain't myself because I want to run hang
00:27:50.080 --> 00:27:52.549
in an environment that don't fit who I
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:53.110
am,
00:27:53.120 --> 00:27:54.470
>> man.
00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:56.549
And when you wake up one day and realize
00:27:56.559 --> 00:27:59.190
that the pain
00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:01.909
of understanding that
00:28:01.919 --> 00:28:06.710
you spent 22 years degrading,
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:08.310
damaging,
00:28:08.320 --> 00:28:12.389
and destroying who you are
00:28:12.399 --> 00:28:15.590
for all the reasons of you not being who
00:28:15.600 --> 00:28:19.110
you are. It's like maybe the hardest
00:28:19.120 --> 00:28:21.430
blow you had to accept. But it also is
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:23.110
the best blow you can accept. You know
00:28:23.120 --> 00:28:26.230
why? Because you can take that
00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:29.029
experience
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:31.830
and you can turn it into your purpose
00:28:31.840 --> 00:28:34.070
>> and you can run back to where you came
00:28:34.080 --> 00:28:37.350
from into that same places and them same
00:28:37.360 --> 00:28:39.909
crevices and them same holes into them
00:28:39.919 --> 00:28:43.990
same people and you can be an example
00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:46.789
of what coming up out of that look like
00:28:46.799 --> 00:28:48.789
and you can give them the blueprint to
00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:51.269
what change look like. And if you want
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:53.750
to ask me what does it takes for to
00:28:53.760 --> 00:28:55.269
change,
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:57.510
it takes for you to learn how to love
00:28:57.520 --> 00:28:59.590
yourself
00:28:59.600 --> 00:29:03.029
>> enough to put in the emotional
00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:03.750
>> Yeah.
00:29:03.760 --> 00:29:07.029
>> work that it's going to take to forgive
00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:11.029
yourself for all the pain and punishment
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:13.029
you took yourself through when you was
00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:14.710
being a version of yourself that wasn't
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:17.750
you. And once you forgive yourself, you
00:29:17.760 --> 00:29:20.950
can begin to heal yourself. You can be
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:23.269
you can go into next learning how to
00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:26.310
love yourself and then you can go into
00:29:26.320 --> 00:29:29.350
being the best version of yourself
00:29:29.360 --> 00:29:31.269
>> cuz without that [ __ ] you ain't going to
00:29:31.279 --> 00:29:33.750
be able to do nothing for anybody else.
00:29:33.760 --> 00:29:37.909
>> You going to still be addicted.
00:29:37.919 --> 00:29:39.510
You just ain't going to be using.
00:29:39.520 --> 00:29:43.350
>> Yeah. No. 100% man. Man,
00:29:43.360 --> 00:29:45.750
I mean,
00:29:45.760 --> 00:29:47.750
man, if y'all not understanding the
00:29:47.760 --> 00:29:50.149
value that y'all getting right now, just
00:29:50.159 --> 00:29:52.230
from what he just said, man, I I I need
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:54.710
y'all to press rewind. I need y'all to
00:29:54.720 --> 00:29:56.630
press rewind cuz y'all got to understand
00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:58.389
like until you take care of yourself,
00:29:58.399 --> 00:29:59.909
you not going to be able to help nobody
00:29:59.919 --> 00:30:01.669
else. You know what I mean? You got to
00:30:01.679 --> 00:30:03.350
come first in all these aspects,
00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:04.630
especially the ones that have been
00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:06.870
dealing with trauma. They've been raped.
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:08.470
They've been homeless. They've been drug
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.389
addiction. They've been incarcerated.
00:30:10.399 --> 00:30:12.549
They've been wronged, fouled. All of
00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:14.789
these different things.
00:30:14.799 --> 00:30:17.029
Like, you really got to sit down and you
00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:18.630
really have to take note of like, you
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:20.710
got to take all your experiences and you
00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:22.549
got to write, like, for me, I'm a big
00:30:22.559 --> 00:30:24.149
journaler. You got to write that [ __ ]
00:30:24.159 --> 00:30:24.950
down,
00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:26.470
>> work that [ __ ] out,
00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:28.149
>> right? Get some professional help,
00:30:28.159 --> 00:30:29.990
whatever. Get a mentor, get a therapist,
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:31.990
counselor, whatever the case may be,
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:34.389
because your story is not over,
00:30:34.399 --> 00:30:35.590
>> man. It just began.
00:30:35.600 --> 00:30:38.230
>> Your story is just developing. You know
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:39.669
what I'm saying? And what you can do
00:30:39.679 --> 00:30:42.149
with that story is you can help save
00:30:42.159 --> 00:30:43.430
somebody
00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:45.190
>> before they go through the same thing
00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:46.549
you went through. You know what I'm
00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:47.029
saying?
00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:51.430
>> That's what make you know what makes
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:53.669
what I've been through so meaningful to
00:30:53.679 --> 00:30:55.909
me
00:30:55.919 --> 00:30:59.110
is that I can use it
00:30:59.120 --> 00:31:02.149
as ex as like like like as if I went to
00:31:02.159 --> 00:31:04.470
college for 22 years.
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:07.350
to go back into my community and give
00:31:07.360 --> 00:31:08.230
them
00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:10.789
>> school of hard knocks, baby. Come on. I
00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:13.590
can give them head headon experience on
00:31:13.600 --> 00:31:15.990
what it is. Tell you what not to do.
00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:18.470
>> Let me tell you what not to do. And
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:20.710
sometime I believe telling the person
00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:22.630
what not to do is more important than
00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:23.750
telling them what to do.
00:31:23.760 --> 00:31:26.070
>> Hey, man. That's one of my favorite
00:31:26.080 --> 00:31:27.590
questions.
00:31:27.600 --> 00:31:29.190
What not to do. Like
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:31.029
>> because if I keep doing what I'm doing,
00:31:31.039 --> 00:31:32.870
I'mma figure out what to do.
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:33.830
>> Yeah.
00:31:33.840 --> 00:31:36.710
But help me not have to go down a dark
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:40.149
road to get to land on my bottom. I've
00:31:40.159 --> 00:31:42.310
been clean. I said this on the podcast.
00:31:42.320 --> 00:31:44.149
I've been clean on sway show. I said
00:31:44.159 --> 00:31:46.070
I've been clean 13 years.
00:31:46.080 --> 00:31:47.669
>> Congratulations. That's a that's a huge
00:31:47.679 --> 00:31:48.549
accomplishment.
00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:49.990
>> I've been clean. That mean that I
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:52.149
haven't had a drug that drug in my
00:31:52.159 --> 00:31:53.430
system.
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:54.710
>> You feel me?
00:31:54.720 --> 00:31:57.029
>> I have only been
00:31:57.039 --> 00:32:00.470
I have been clean I have been clean of
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:03.590
drugs for 13 years. I've been cleaning
00:32:03.600 --> 00:32:05.350
mentally
00:32:05.360 --> 00:32:09.430
for three. Come on. Meaning that it took
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:12.230
10 years for me to get what they call
00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:15.990
that stinking thinking out my system
00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:18.149
because even though I was clean, I was
00:32:18.159 --> 00:32:19.909
still trying to bust moves. I was still
00:32:19.919 --> 00:32:21.590
trying to catch up. I was still trying
00:32:21.600 --> 00:32:23.430
to impress. I was trying to still live
00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:25.029
for others. I was still trying to get
00:32:25.039 --> 00:32:26.789
people to see me at a new version of who
00:32:26.799 --> 00:32:30.789
I am. I was still trying to get people
00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:33.110
who don't give a flying [ __ ] about me to
00:32:33.120 --> 00:32:33.750
care about me.
00:32:33.760 --> 00:32:35.190
>> That's how your disease was active
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:37.430
throughout the whole 10 years.
00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:40.070
>> The last three years I fell in love with
00:32:40.080 --> 00:32:40.950
myself.
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:43.190
>> Nice. I love that.
00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:48.310
>> You get what I'm saying? So your opinion
00:32:48.320 --> 00:32:50.950
of who I am,
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:54.149
even if it's based on who I was, doesn't
00:32:54.159 --> 00:32:56.149
matter to me. I'm not trying to correct
00:32:56.159 --> 00:32:58.950
the way you see me based on a pain that
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.110
I may have gave you when I was being a
00:33:01.120 --> 00:33:03.110
version of me that ain't me. If you want
00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:05.190
to heal our relationship, learn to
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:07.590
accept this new version of me, my true
00:33:07.600 --> 00:33:08.950
version of me.
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:11.350
>> Stop looking at me for the person I was
00:33:11.360 --> 00:33:13.029
when I wasn't being the person that I
00:33:13.039 --> 00:33:13.750
am.
00:33:13.760 --> 00:33:17.190
>> Yeah. Because you're holding on to a a
00:33:17.200 --> 00:33:20.230
mindset of me that was caused at a
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:23.430
negative time in my life when I was you
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:26.149
think what I did to you is bad. You must
00:33:26.159 --> 00:33:27.830
ain't paying attention to what I did to
00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:28.549
myself.
00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:31.990
>> Come on, man. Talk about it. Please sh
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:32.870
you mad at me.
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:34.470
>> Can you go into depth about that? Cuz I
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:35.909
don't I don't even think people
00:33:35.919 --> 00:33:38.070
understand what what it is that you're
00:33:38.080 --> 00:33:39.509
talking about right now because like
00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:41.509
Yeah, man. You and I'm not trying to
00:33:41.519 --> 00:33:43.110
take away what you've done to other
00:33:43.120 --> 00:33:44.470
people. I'm not trying to say that
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:45.509
either. Yeah, I know.
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:47.190
>> I'm not trying to say that either.
00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:49.430
>> And anybody that sees this
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:50.950
>> that know I've done something to him
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:53.509
that I may not have gotten in position
00:33:53.519 --> 00:33:56.310
or had the opportunity to apologize.
00:33:56.320 --> 00:33:58.630
>> I love you and I apologize. But I'm not
00:33:58.640 --> 00:33:59.590
trying to correct it.
00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:01.350
>> Facts. N
00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:03.590
>> I'm trying to get you to have the
00:34:03.600 --> 00:34:06.789
opportunity to enjoy this new version of
00:34:06.799 --> 00:34:07.350
me.
00:34:07.360 --> 00:34:08.790
>> Yeah. Where you can be around me
00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:09.270
excited.
00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:12.149
>> Excited and happy for me. not having
00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:14.069
something negative to say about me
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:16.149
because you're speaking from a place
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:18.950
that happened 15 years ago. And when you
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:20.710
saying something, the person that that
00:34:20.720 --> 00:34:24.629
knows me for now is looking at you like,
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:26.629
>> man, you sound like a hater. They not
00:34:26.639 --> 00:34:29.349
hating. They they sound like a hurt.
00:34:29.359 --> 00:34:31.669
>> Oo. Cuz hurt people hurt people, man.
00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:33.750
>> They sound like a hurt. Do you get what
00:34:33.760 --> 00:34:34.230
I'm saying?
00:34:34.240 --> 00:34:34.869
>> Yeah, for sure.
00:34:34.879 --> 00:34:37.030
>> They're speaking from a place of hurt,
00:34:37.040 --> 00:34:38.950
not from a place of hate. Yeah.
00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:41.270
>> They're speaking from a place of me
00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:43.589
doing some damage to them
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:45.829
>> at a time in my life when I was doing
00:34:45.839 --> 00:34:48.149
the most damage to myself.
00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:48.950
>> Yeah.
00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:50.710
>> I want you to be able to forgive me like
00:34:50.720 --> 00:34:52.869
I was able to forgive me that I wasn't
00:34:52.879 --> 00:34:54.710
able to build a relationship with myself
00:34:54.720 --> 00:34:56.790
until I was able to forgive myself.
00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:58.230
>> And you know the thing about that too is
00:34:58.240 --> 00:35:00.150
and I'm glad you said that is like you
00:35:00.160 --> 00:35:02.470
know what I mean the forgiveness.
00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:04.870
You don't got to forgive me right off
00:35:04.880 --> 00:35:07.190
the top. And this is for me that you you
00:35:07.200 --> 00:35:08.790
don't got to forgive me cuz I done a lot
00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:10.310
of bad [ __ ] out there.
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:11.990
>> You don't got to forgive me,
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:14.230
>> but just know that I forgave myself for
00:35:14.240 --> 00:35:16.150
doing the things that I did. And I'm
00:35:16.160 --> 00:35:17.990
going to show you by my actions that I'm
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:20.069
a different person because at the end of
00:35:20.079 --> 00:35:20.710
the day, like
00:35:20.720 --> 00:35:21.510
>> can you give me that?
00:35:21.520 --> 00:35:23.670
>> I cannot [ __ ] change what I did.
00:35:23.680 --> 00:35:25.430
>> Yeah. Can you give me that?
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:26.470
>> Can you give us that,
00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:29.430
>> man? Please. Cuz it's like and I and I
00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:32.310
apologize to anybody out there that that
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:34.950
I have done that wrong to, right? And
00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:36.630
it's like a lot of family has been cut
00:35:36.640 --> 00:35:38.710
off and [ __ ] like that because they not
00:35:38.720 --> 00:35:41.030
able to they're not able to get with the
00:35:41.040 --> 00:35:41.829
new program
00:35:41.839 --> 00:35:43.270
>> because you're not the person that they
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:43.829
once
00:35:43.839 --> 00:35:46.630
>> and man brok I'm going to tell you right
00:35:46.640 --> 00:35:48.150
now I don't think I've ever shared this
00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:51.270
on the podcast I had to like hear man
00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:53.270
facts for sure cuz I had to cut off some
00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:55.109
close family. Well they probably think
00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.150
they cut me off
00:35:56.160 --> 00:35:56.790
>> right
00:35:56.800 --> 00:35:59.750
>> right I mean real close real close like
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:01.910
been there since I was came out the womb
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:03.510
held me and everything. They don't even
00:36:03.520 --> 00:36:04.710
they don't even understand how much it
00:36:04.720 --> 00:36:05.430
hurt.
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:07.990
>> Listen listen and I'm telling you like
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.390
the the hardest part for me is when I
00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:13.910
got clean they told me oh you think you
00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:19.829
better than everyone.
00:36:19.839 --> 00:36:20.950
>> Oh my god.
00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:22.630
>> Talk about it. Talk about it, bro.
00:36:22.640 --> 00:36:24.470
Because sometime we need to get it out.
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:26.710
>> Oh no. You think I'm better than
00:36:26.720 --> 00:36:28.710
everyone? Hell no. I think I'm better
00:36:28.720 --> 00:36:29.750
than who I used to be.
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:30.470
>> B. That's it.
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:31.510
>> And that's that's it.
00:36:31.520 --> 00:36:32.069
>> That's it.
00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:33.910
>> Like hold on. What is you talk? You love
00:36:33.920 --> 00:36:36.230
me more when I was out there stealing
00:36:36.240 --> 00:36:38.870
cars, robbing, stealing, and dealing and
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:40.710
doing all this and putting a needle in
00:36:40.720 --> 00:36:41.750
my arm.
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:42.550
>> Talk about it.
00:36:42.560 --> 00:36:44.710
>> You love me more then. But now that I'm
00:36:44.720 --> 00:36:46.790
trying to do good for myself and I'm on
00:36:46.800 --> 00:36:49.109
this I'm on this I'm on this elevator of
00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:51.430
elevation and I'm going up and up and
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:52.310
up.
00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:53.589
>> You know what I mean? And nothing could
00:36:53.599 --> 00:36:55.910
stop me, right? I'm going I'm doing all
00:36:55.920 --> 00:36:57.589
of these things, but then at the same
00:36:57.599 --> 00:36:59.750
time it's like, "Oh, but you didn't do
00:36:59.760 --> 00:37:01.750
this or you didn't do that." Like I I I
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:04.710
never ever took away for everything
00:37:04.720 --> 00:37:06.870
that's got done for me in the most
00:37:06.880 --> 00:37:08.710
hardest times. Made sure there was a
00:37:08.720 --> 00:37:10.230
birthday cake every birthday even though
00:37:10.240 --> 00:37:11.670
I didn't have no presents. But that's
00:37:11.680 --> 00:37:14.069
just me being greedy, right? Me wanting
00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:16.230
what other kids have. You know what I'm
00:37:16.240 --> 00:37:18.310
saying? But I did have a birthday cake.
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:20.230
I did have somebody that cared about me.
00:37:20.240 --> 00:37:22.150
I did have somebody that loved me. You
00:37:22.160 --> 00:37:23.430
know what I'm saying?
00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:25.589
>> But at the same time, like [ __ ] like,
00:37:25.599 --> 00:37:26.630
you know what I mean? I had to learn
00:37:26.640 --> 00:37:28.950
this [ __ ] on my own. You know what I
00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:30.790
mean? becoming this new version of me.
00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:32.870
And I just posted the other day
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:35.670
>> and I post a lot about life and like I
00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:37.109
don't want anybody to think that I'm out
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:39.109
there and I'm like my post is like I'm
00:37:39.119 --> 00:37:40.710
talking to people and I'm telling people
00:37:40.720 --> 00:37:42.470
what to do. I'm really talking to
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:43.910
myself. But if you can relate
00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:44.950
>> I was just going to tell you
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:46.550
>> if I could if you can relate with what
00:37:46.560 --> 00:37:48.230
the [ __ ] I'm going when I tell you life
00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:49.829
is [ __ ] hard. Life is [ __ ] going
00:37:49.839 --> 00:37:50.710
for me.
00:37:50.720 --> 00:37:51.750
>> You know what I'm saying? Like I'm
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:53.430
telling you some [ __ ] that's going on in
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:55.109
my life. I'm telling you, like this
00:37:55.119 --> 00:37:57.750
[ __ ] Instagram, all these stories and
00:37:57.760 --> 00:37:59.430
[ __ ] you see on the videos, like that
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:00.470
[ __ ] look good. But I'm going to tell
00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:02.950
you right now, BTS behind the scenes,
00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:04.470
man, this [ __ ] is tough. And that's why
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:05.990
I put that [ __ ] out there to let you
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:07.670
know like, yeah, this [ __ ] look good,
00:38:07.680 --> 00:38:08.069
but it ain't
00:38:08.079 --> 00:38:09.190
>> this [ __ ] look good, but I'm going tell
00:38:09.200 --> 00:38:11.670
you right now, I don't feel good.
00:38:11.680 --> 00:38:14.630
But but I'm I'm I'm happy to being able
00:38:14.640 --> 00:38:17.109
to go through this tough time. Clean.
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:18.550
Come on. Clean. That's what I'm talking
00:38:18.560 --> 00:38:20.630
about. Like being able
00:38:20.640 --> 00:38:21.829
to deal with it. That don't mean I'm
00:38:21.839 --> 00:38:22.550
going to be successful,
00:38:22.560 --> 00:38:24.150
>> man. They don't even I don't even know
00:38:24.160 --> 00:38:26.069
like man people that people that ain't
00:38:26.079 --> 00:38:27.349
lived in it man they got to keep their
00:38:27.359 --> 00:38:28.950
opinion out of it man I just started
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:30.550
saying that [ __ ] last night cuz it makes
00:38:30.560 --> 00:38:31.910
so much sense it's like if you ain't
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:33.910
living in this keep your opinion out of
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:35.589
it right because at the end of the day
00:38:35.599 --> 00:38:37.270
like you not understanding like
00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:39.270
>> yeah life is hard marriage is hard I
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:41.030
just got married last year I'm coming up
00:38:41.040 --> 00:38:43.270
on uh don't know
00:38:43.280 --> 00:38:44.470
>> oneyear anniversary
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:46.950
>> don't know what that looks like
00:38:46.960 --> 00:38:48.710
>> but jumped into it and trying to be the
00:38:48.720 --> 00:38:50.069
best version of yourself in it
00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:51.430
>> and I'm going to tell you this last year
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:53.030
has been harder than the last seven
00:38:53.040 --> 00:38:55.510
years we've been together.
00:38:55.520 --> 00:38:57.750
>> But am I going to run off and take some?
00:38:57.760 --> 00:38:59.589
>> I might throw out some empty threats and
00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:01.030
be like, I'm leaving. I'm going to get
00:39:01.040 --> 00:39:02.470
an apartment. But am I really going to
00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:03.990
do that? Hell no.
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.349
>> You know what I mean? I'm just
00:39:05.359 --> 00:39:07.190
processing. That's that trauma [ __ ] that
00:39:07.200 --> 00:39:07.430
I'm doing.
00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:08.470
>> I'm just going to tell you that's the
00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:09.589
trauma [ __ ] you deal with.
00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:11.030
>> Yeah. And it ain't nobody's fault.
00:39:11.040 --> 00:39:12.470
>> Ain't nobody fault, man. And and
00:39:12.480 --> 00:39:14.470
sometime
00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:17.190
people have to understand that that that
00:39:17.200 --> 00:39:20.630
that because like for me right in this
00:39:20.640 --> 00:39:23.109
in this version of who I am and how I'm
00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:27.109
seen to my community to the people in my
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:29.510
life to the people that I go all out
00:39:29.520 --> 00:39:34.870
for. Um they may have this new um
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:37.589
expectation of me based on this new
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:39.750
person that I've
00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:42.150
become.
00:39:42.160 --> 00:39:44.230
That don't mean I don't got a whole lot
00:39:44.240 --> 00:39:46.470
of [ __ ] going on inside of me that's
00:39:46.480 --> 00:39:49.190
going to allow me to make a bad choice
00:39:49.200 --> 00:39:52.230
of decision every now and then.
00:39:52.240 --> 00:39:53.349
You know, another thing I want to really
00:39:53.359 --> 00:39:55.829
tap on too is like don't think that I
00:39:55.839 --> 00:39:58.150
excommunicated your ass because I don't
00:39:58.160 --> 00:40:00.630
come around no more. Sometimes I just
00:40:00.640 --> 00:40:02.550
can't go back to them places
00:40:02.560 --> 00:40:03.270
>> for me.
00:40:03.280 --> 00:40:05.030
>> You know what I mean? Like for me. Yeah.
00:40:05.040 --> 00:40:06.950
If you want to see continue to see me
00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:09.270
shining and doing the things I'm doing,
00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:10.790
I got to have certain boundaries.
00:40:10.800 --> 00:40:12.310
>> I got to have And people that don't have
00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:13.829
boundaries don't understand boundaries.
00:40:13.839 --> 00:40:15.829
>> I got to understand that I can't go back
00:40:15.839 --> 00:40:17.829
to this block, this radius of the block
00:40:17.839 --> 00:40:19.910
that I used to be confined to.
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:21.670
>> I can't do that.
00:40:21.680 --> 00:40:24.630
>> And you know what I man I I I deal with
00:40:24.640 --> 00:40:29.430
that. I deal with that daily.
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:33.349
A person that say life is about growth.
00:40:33.359 --> 00:40:34.950
Come on. Plant the seed, water it, and
00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:37.349
see the tree grow. Baby, come on.
00:40:37.359 --> 00:40:39.589
>> Because you haven't because you haven't
00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:40.390
grown.
00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:41.670
>> Yeah.
00:40:41.680 --> 00:40:44.630
>> Don't make me where I supposed to not
00:40:44.640 --> 00:40:47.430
grow because of that. So, if I don't
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:49.190
hang out where you hang out no more,
00:40:49.200 --> 00:40:51.510
that don't mean I don't care about it.
00:40:51.520 --> 00:40:54.390
That just mean I can't allow myself to
00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:58.309
go back to something that has so much of
00:40:58.319 --> 00:41:02.230
a challenge and times in my life. I
00:41:02.240 --> 00:41:04.630
can't go hang out there with you because
00:41:04.640 --> 00:41:07.190
when I get there, the things that it
00:41:07.200 --> 00:41:09.990
takes for me to be able to be okay in
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:13.349
that environment consistent me going to
00:41:13.359 --> 00:41:16.710
a a state of mind that no longer lives
00:41:16.720 --> 00:41:18.870
inside of me.
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:21.430
So now I come down here with you, I got
00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:24.309
to go back to thinking, man, do I got to
00:41:24.319 --> 00:41:27.030
get a pistol? I got to do this. I got to
00:41:27.040 --> 00:41:28.870
do that. Oh man, I didn't ride four or
00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:31.430
five cats around here. So now I got to
00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:33.109
be when the person, what's up with you?
00:41:33.119 --> 00:41:35.589
You I got to be a version of myself I
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:37.670
don't want to be. I'm not coming here or
00:41:37.680 --> 00:41:39.670
I'm not hanging out here because I don't
00:41:39.680 --> 00:41:41.589
care about here.
00:41:41.599 --> 00:41:43.190
>> This place is scary for me,
00:41:43.200 --> 00:41:44.790
>> man.
00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:47.190
>> And the only way for me to be sane is to
00:41:47.200 --> 00:41:49.589
be away from that place and come through
00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:52.150
this place every now and then trying to
00:41:52.160 --> 00:41:54.710
trying to spread the message of what
00:41:54.720 --> 00:41:57.750
being away from here looks like.
00:41:57.760 --> 00:41:59.510
But if you expect me to stay here with
00:41:59.520 --> 00:42:03.109
you, I rather you hate me
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:05.430
than me come be accepted by you for
00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:06.550
being down here with you.
00:42:06.560 --> 00:42:09.990
>> Cuz I fell so hard in the depths of hell
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:12.870
hitting that cold concrete
00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:14.069
trying to be accepted.
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:14.870
>> You get what I'm saying?
00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:16.630
>> Being afraid of being hated.
00:42:16.640 --> 00:42:18.309
>> And I, you know, I deal with that [ __ ]
00:42:18.319 --> 00:42:19.270
today.
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:21.190
>> Still trying to be accepted.
00:42:21.200 --> 00:42:22.230
>> You know what I mean? That's how my
00:42:22.240 --> 00:42:24.309
disease has been active lately. I just
00:42:24.319 --> 00:42:25.990
want to be accepted. Oh my god, I want
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:27.190
these clicks. I want this. Don't want
00:42:27.200 --> 00:42:28.870
that. I want Oh, I'm afraid about what
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:30.470
people think about me. [ __ ] that.
00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:31.990
>> You see what I came in today?
00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:33.670
>> Yeah. And I know you getting over a
00:42:33.680 --> 00:42:34.390
cold, man.
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:36.069
>> I don't win nothing but veins, man. I
00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:36.550
don't
00:42:36.560 --> 00:42:39.190
>> That guy almost he that [ __ ] I'm going
00:42:39.200 --> 00:42:39.829
through some things.
00:42:39.839 --> 00:42:41.030
>> Hey, that [ __ ] knocked you down like
00:42:41.040 --> 00:42:41.910
Frasier, baby.
00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:44.230
>> And you know what? You know, you know
00:42:44.240 --> 00:42:47.270
what I contribute to being able to be
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:50.630
okay? how I'm feeling right now had
00:42:50.640 --> 00:42:52.790
don't even
00:42:52.800 --> 00:42:56.069
have 1% of comparison
00:42:56.079 --> 00:42:58.710
to what I did to myself.
00:42:58.720 --> 00:43:00.950
>> And if I'm over here, if I was able to
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:03.589
overcome the damage I did to me,
00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:03.910
>> yeah,
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:04.870
>> this [ __ ] going to pass,
00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:05.589
>> man. For real.
00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:07.670
>> I sit here, sleep, headaches, this,
00:43:07.680 --> 00:43:09.430
that, it's going to go away as long as I
00:43:09.440 --> 00:43:11.510
keep fighting to try to make sure that
00:43:11.520 --> 00:43:13.109
it does.
00:43:13.119 --> 00:43:15.030
>> But man,
00:43:15.040 --> 00:43:17.589
ain't nothing ain't nothing worse. Yeah.
00:43:17.599 --> 00:43:20.150
>> Then being baldled up on a bull pin
00:43:20.160 --> 00:43:21.109
floor.
00:43:21.119 --> 00:43:21.990
>> Sick.
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:22.630
>> I'm trying to
00:43:22.640 --> 00:43:25.510
>> Why people coming in and out of this
00:43:25.520 --> 00:43:27.829
bullpin that you know somebody you don't
00:43:27.839 --> 00:43:30.470
know if somebody you did dirt to is
00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:33.349
going to pop that door and you don't
00:43:33.359 --> 00:43:36.150
have the ability, the strength, and
00:43:36.160 --> 00:43:38.309
nothing else inside of you to even fight
00:43:38.319 --> 00:43:40.790
that battle. That's the worst vulnerable
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:43.510
feeling in the world, bro. is to be in a
00:43:43.520 --> 00:43:46.309
bull pin and see somebody that you done
00:43:46.319 --> 00:43:48.870
done something to and they got all they
00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:50.309
and you like
00:43:50.319 --> 00:43:51.190
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:51.200 --> 00:43:52.230
>> You get what I'm saying?
00:43:52.240 --> 00:43:54.150
>> I do one.
00:43:54.160 --> 00:43:56.630
>> So if I can So this other little [ __ ]
00:43:56.640 --> 00:43:59.349
that I GO THROUGH IN LIFE, BRO,
00:43:59.359 --> 00:44:00.870
>> don't mean nothing, man.
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:01.829
>> Cuz you laying on that
00:44:01.839 --> 00:44:02.630
>> try that.
00:44:02.640 --> 00:44:04.150
>> He laying on that COLD CONCRETE.
00:44:04.160 --> 00:44:05.190
>> TRY THAT.
00:44:05.200 --> 00:44:06.710
>> HEY, AND YOU'LL be lucky to have a
00:44:06.720 --> 00:44:09.750
>> from bullpin to bull pin to bullpin.
00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:12.069
>> Mhm. wondering every time that doorpo
00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:14.550
crack, is somebody gonna walk in here I
00:44:14.560 --> 00:44:16.550
done something to and I know I ain't got
00:44:16.560 --> 00:44:20.230
to lick a fight into this assump.
00:44:20.240 --> 00:44:21.829
>> I'm just glad I got some people in here
00:44:21.839 --> 00:44:24.309
that care about me. That's go home but
00:44:24.319 --> 00:44:25.910
get get back bro. We got you, bro. We
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:27.589
ain't going nobody do nothing to you. If
00:44:27.599 --> 00:44:28.790
a [ __ ] want to see you about
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:29.750
something you done, they going to have
00:44:29.760 --> 00:44:31.190
to see you when you back on the same
00:44:31.200 --> 00:44:32.710
level of playing field that they on.
00:44:32.720 --> 00:44:33.750
>> Yeah. 1000%.
00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:34.390
>> You feel me?
00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:37.510
>> And that see and that's that character.
00:44:37.520 --> 00:44:38.710
That's that character. that character
00:44:38.720 --> 00:44:40.150
because no matter if I was doing wrong,
00:44:40.160 --> 00:44:41.349
I still kept my character.
00:44:41.359 --> 00:44:42.550
>> That's that character. And that's that's
00:44:42.560 --> 00:44:43.910
where I was talking about earlier is
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:46.230
that people don't understand like you
00:44:46.240 --> 00:44:47.829
ain't living to keep your opinion out of
00:44:47.839 --> 00:44:49.270
it. You don't understand that like the
00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:50.630
people that's out there. Yeah, we might
00:44:50.640 --> 00:44:52.230
be doing bad. We might be doing this,
00:44:52.240 --> 00:44:53.910
but we do have a character.
00:44:53.920 --> 00:44:54.870
>> Keep our character together.
00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:56.390
>> You know what I'm saying? I might not be
00:44:56.400 --> 00:44:58.790
cool with him, but I'm cool with you.
00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:00.870
And when I'm cool with you, like it's a
00:45:00.880 --> 00:45:02.630
different type of loyalty. You know what
00:45:02.640 --> 00:45:04.150
I'm saying? Like we going to break bread
00:45:04.160 --> 00:45:05.510
together. We going to eat together.
00:45:05.520 --> 00:45:07.670
[ __ ] You I'mma get this half a pack of
00:45:07.680 --> 00:45:09.030
ramen and I'm going to take another
00:45:09.040 --> 00:45:11.109
pack. You know what I'm saying?
00:45:11.119 --> 00:45:13.270
>> The thing about it, right? Nine times
00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:14.790
out of 10,
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:16.470
>> when you see somebody you've done
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:19.109
something to, when they see you doing
00:45:19.119 --> 00:45:21.270
better,
00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:25.030
that's that's their payback for what you
00:45:25.040 --> 00:45:28.069
did to them
00:45:28.079 --> 00:45:29.910
because they able to see you
00:45:29.920 --> 00:45:33.990
differently. Now, I know. So, I know
00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:35.910
that person that you are right now
00:45:35.920 --> 00:45:38.630
wouldn't have done what you did to me.
00:45:38.640 --> 00:45:40.950
So, I'mma let that go because now I see
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:43.270
you in a different light. I only seen
00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:45.270
you in a dark light before, but now I
00:45:45.280 --> 00:45:46.950
see you in your shining light.
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:48.150
>> Yeah.
00:45:48.160 --> 00:45:53.750
>> No. And just to know like, you know, it
00:45:53.760 --> 00:45:55.510
I just I'm thinking about it right now.
00:45:55.520 --> 00:45:57.510
Laying on that cold concrete, man. Being
00:45:57.520 --> 00:45:59.109
lucky if you had a roll of tissue to put
00:45:59.119 --> 00:45:59.589
your head.
00:45:59.599 --> 00:46:01.270
>> Head under, man. They don't know what
00:46:01.280 --> 00:46:02.470
you say. What's your What's your slogan?
00:46:02.480 --> 00:46:05.030
What's your new slogan? Don't talk what?
00:46:05.040 --> 00:46:06.309
>> Oh, if you ain't lived in it, keep your
00:46:06.319 --> 00:46:07.910
opinion out of it.
00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:09.030
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:09.040 --> 00:46:10.870
>> Man, I'mma use that one, man. If you
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:12.390
ain't lived in it, keep your opinion out
00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:12.870
of it.
00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:14.630
>> Yeah. It's your opinion. Don't come from
00:46:14.640 --> 00:46:15.750
a place of being there.
00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:17.589
>> Hey, you know what I'm saying? And it's
00:46:17.599 --> 00:46:19.190
good. You know what I mean? But like I
00:46:19.200 --> 00:46:20.550
want to talk to you a little bit. I know
00:46:20.560 --> 00:46:21.990
your drug addiction. How old was you
00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:23.510
when you first took took your first
00:46:23.520 --> 00:46:23.910
drug?
00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:26.150
>> Probably like 20, man. When I be now
00:46:26.160 --> 00:46:27.589
wait, we gonna say smoking weed or
00:46:27.599 --> 00:46:29.589
something that younger, but I'm talking
00:46:29.599 --> 00:46:31.349
about I'm talking about when I first
00:46:31.359 --> 00:46:33.190
started with destroying
00:46:33.200 --> 00:46:33.990
>> the hair.
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:35.030
>> 20
00:46:35.520 --> 00:46:36.069
>> 20.
00:46:36.079 --> 00:46:37.030
>> Yeah.
00:46:37.040 --> 00:46:39.430
>> And then it did it ever escalate to like
00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:44.630
shooting it or it was just all to it.
00:46:44.640 --> 00:46:45.829
>> See all them tracks?
00:46:45.839 --> 00:46:47.430
>> Yes, sir.
00:46:47.440 --> 00:46:50.309
>> See all them tracks?
00:46:51.599 --> 00:46:51.990
>> Yeah.
00:46:52.000 --> 00:46:52.950
>> You want me to tell you where them
00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:55.670
tracks come from? from thinking that I
00:46:55.680 --> 00:46:56.950
was a
00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:57.829
>> a phabotamist.
00:46:57.839 --> 00:47:00.550
>> A phabotamist when I didn't know nothing
00:47:00.560 --> 00:47:02.550
about
00:47:02.560 --> 00:47:04.550
what it looked like to be one and
00:47:04.560 --> 00:47:05.910
blowing all my veins up.
00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:06.150
>> Yeah.
00:47:06.160 --> 00:47:07.430
>> So, yes, I've been there.
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:09.430
>> Yeah. All the way to the deepest to the
00:47:09.440 --> 00:47:09.829
darkest.
00:47:09.839 --> 00:47:11.349
>> Deepest darkest. I ain't scared to [ __ ]
00:47:11.359 --> 00:47:12.470
man. That's what I've been through.
00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:14.309
>> Absolutely. Yeah.
00:47:14.319 --> 00:47:15.670
>> Neck shots, all that.
00:47:15.680 --> 00:47:17.349
>> Hey, we don't look like what we've been
00:47:17.359 --> 00:47:18.790
through. Next shots, all that.
00:47:18.800 --> 00:47:19.990
>> Hey, I want to tell you I want to give
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:21.829
you your flowers, too, cuz your beard on
00:47:21.839 --> 00:47:22.630
point, man.
00:47:22.640 --> 00:47:24.150
>> Yours is nice, too. I wish I can get
00:47:24.160 --> 00:47:26.630
mine kind of that long. But I I once it
00:47:26.640 --> 00:47:27.030
start
00:47:27.040 --> 00:47:28.470
>> look like a miniature mine though.
00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:29.829
>> Once it start getting there, it get
00:47:29.839 --> 00:47:32.069
rough. It get mine. So the grays the
00:47:32.079 --> 00:47:35.750
grays change the texture of your hair.
00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:38.069
>> So it makes it like will brillow.
00:47:38.079 --> 00:47:38.550
>> Okay.
00:47:38.560 --> 00:47:40.950
>> So it it really be real rough, man. But
00:47:40.960 --> 00:47:43.589
man, I appreciate it, man. Um I know you
00:47:43.599 --> 00:47:45.990
know we we on the you know on the time
00:47:46.000 --> 00:47:47.030
thing, man. And um
00:47:47.040 --> 00:47:48.069
>> No, we we good.
00:47:48.079 --> 00:47:49.589
>> But what I really want to tell you, man,
00:47:49.599 --> 00:47:51.190
is that um
00:47:51.200 --> 00:47:53.430
>> Oh, we still we we sliding. Okay. Is
00:47:53.440 --> 00:47:56.710
that I I um really what I appreciate the
00:47:56.720 --> 00:48:00.950
most from this opportunity
00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:04.550
is the opportunity that we're having
00:48:04.560 --> 00:48:06.309
to help a whole lot of people that's
00:48:06.319 --> 00:48:07.910
been through what we've been through
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:10.950
that might not be at a place in their
00:48:10.960 --> 00:48:13.510
life yet where they're
00:48:13.520 --> 00:48:15.109
willing,
00:48:15.119 --> 00:48:18.230
open, or strong enough to share with
00:48:18.240 --> 00:48:20.069
other people.
00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:22.950
>> No. And that was the follow-up question.
00:48:22.960 --> 00:48:24.950
Um, because everything leads into
00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:26.549
another one. You know, I'm pretty sure
00:48:26.559 --> 00:48:29.109
you a chess player.
00:48:29.119 --> 00:48:30.790
>> Would I say, would I be wrong if I said
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:32.069
that you wasn't a chess player?
00:48:32.079 --> 00:48:33.670
>> Know to push your P and move a ruck.
00:48:33.680 --> 00:48:35.349
>> Okay. Yeah. So, it's always, you know,
00:48:35.359 --> 00:48:37.829
we we three steps ahead. So, it's like,
00:48:37.839 --> 00:48:39.190
you know, from the time you took your
00:48:39.200 --> 00:48:40.790
first drug when you smoking weed,
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:44.950
probably early 12, 13, probably 14. Same
00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:46.790
with me. I was homeless at 13. You know
00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:48.390
what I'm saying? Like, [ __ ] Mom would
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:49.670
go to prison. And I would had to sleep
00:48:49.680 --> 00:48:51.109
on the street because of the [ __ ] I was
00:48:51.119 --> 00:48:52.470
involved in. You know what I'm saying?
00:48:52.480 --> 00:48:53.589
They didn't want none of that popping
00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:53.829
off.
00:48:53.839 --> 00:48:55.510
>> Yeah. And at other family members
00:48:55.520 --> 00:48:56.470
houses, I
00:48:56.480 --> 00:48:57.750
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like,
00:48:57.760 --> 00:48:59.270
oh, no, you can't come here. Oh, but he
00:48:59.280 --> 00:49:00.790
can. So, it's like now I'm still trying
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:03.270
to be accepted. Um, so when we, you
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:05.349
know, young, whatever, you know, first
00:49:05.359 --> 00:49:06.870
drug or something cuz what I want to do
00:49:06.880 --> 00:49:08.470
is I want to speak to the kids out there
00:49:08.480 --> 00:49:10.069
for a minute. It's like, you know what I
00:49:10.079 --> 00:49:11.829
mean? You might be struggling right now.
00:49:11.839 --> 00:49:14.150
You might be wanting to be accepted. You
00:49:14.160 --> 00:49:17.190
might not know what to do and you still
00:49:17.200 --> 00:49:18.630
contemplating because if you already
00:49:18.640 --> 00:49:20.470
jumped off the porch then you you've
00:49:20.480 --> 00:49:21.910
already started making grown man
00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:22.790
decisions.
00:49:22.800 --> 00:49:24.630
>> Yeah. If you know it or not.
00:49:24.640 --> 00:49:25.270
>> You know what I'm saying?
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:26.150
>> If you know it or not.
00:49:26.160 --> 00:49:27.430
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've already
00:49:27.440 --> 00:49:27.990
and I'm telling
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.470
>> you already made a choice. Look I got So
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:31.510
I want to say that and I don't want to
00:49:31.520 --> 00:49:32.309
take away from what you're trying to
00:49:32.319 --> 00:49:33.430
say. Right. Go ahead. Go ahead. So this
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:34.710
what I want to say. I made a post right
00:49:34.720 --> 00:49:36.950
and it said this right. Right now if you
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:40.230
were 17 and you was at school and we was
00:49:40.240 --> 00:49:41.829
going on a field trip tomorrow what
00:49:41.839 --> 00:49:44.549
would you have to do?
00:49:44.559 --> 00:49:46.470
You had to get your guardian slip
00:49:46.480 --> 00:49:48.069
signed. You would have had to get your
00:49:48.079 --> 00:49:48.870
parents' permission.
00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:52.950
>> Do you know why? Because you're not
00:49:52.960 --> 00:49:57.190
responsible enough from society to be
00:49:57.200 --> 00:49:59.990
able to say, "Okay." Yes. Until you're
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.109
18.
00:50:01.119 --> 00:50:02.309
>> Yeah.
00:50:02.319 --> 00:50:03.750
>> These kids ain't getting permission
00:50:03.760 --> 00:50:05.430
slips from their parents to run in these
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:06.150
streets, man.
00:50:06.160 --> 00:50:06.470
>> No.
00:50:06.480 --> 00:50:08.150
>> They turn into drug addicts. They turn
00:50:08.160 --> 00:50:09.910
into gangsters. They're turn They're
00:50:09.920 --> 00:50:13.030
not. Once the permission slip is
00:50:13.040 --> 00:50:15.910
removed,
00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:17.829
once you think that you're bigger than a
00:50:17.839 --> 00:50:20.470
permission slip,
00:50:20.480 --> 00:50:22.309
that's when you begin to slip.
00:50:22.319 --> 00:50:26.150
>> Yeah.
00:50:26.160 --> 00:50:27.349
Come on, boy.
00:50:27.359 --> 00:50:29.430
>> Because you ain't going to your parents
00:50:29.440 --> 00:50:30.790
about what you going through.
00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:34.630
>> No, you're not. You hiding from them
00:50:34.640 --> 00:50:36.870
what you're making choices and decisions
00:50:36.880 --> 00:50:40.309
for and you're not allowing them to
00:50:40.319 --> 00:50:42.790
guide you any longer.
00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:44.950
>> A permission ship was put in place for a
00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:46.470
reason.
00:50:46.480 --> 00:50:47.990
>> It was so you wouldn't slip.
00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:49.589
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure. For sure.
00:50:49.599 --> 00:50:52.069
>> You get what I'm saying? So, so a lot of
00:50:52.079 --> 00:50:55.430
our kids are making adult decisions not
00:50:55.440 --> 00:50:57.430
understanding the permission slip part
00:50:57.440 --> 00:50:58.390
of that.
00:50:58.400 --> 00:50:58.790
>> Yeah.
00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:00.630
>> That's like saying to big homie, right?
00:51:00.640 --> 00:51:02.470
Say, say you're a big homie or whatever.
00:51:02.480 --> 00:51:04.549
You know, we the guy outside that the
00:51:04.559 --> 00:51:06.870
kids look up to. We got a got a fancy
00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:09.030
car, two, three good pretty girls that
00:51:09.040 --> 00:51:12.069
pull up
00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:14.069
before we start doing [ __ ] that don't
00:51:14.079 --> 00:51:15.670
make sense to what we supposed to be
00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:19.030
doing. We don't go run that by him.
00:51:19.040 --> 00:51:21.910
We just start doing it. These kids are
00:51:21.920 --> 00:51:23.589
doing a lot of stuff in life that they
00:51:23.599 --> 00:51:26.069
just start doing without running it by
00:51:26.079 --> 00:51:30.549
nobody. That's why mentorship is so
00:51:30.559 --> 00:51:33.030
important because somebody need to be in
00:51:33.040 --> 00:51:36.549
place in that person that child's life
00:51:36.559 --> 00:51:39.270
that they can go be open to without
00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:40.870
judgment
00:51:40.880 --> 00:51:43.510
to get the right feedback from 1,000%.
00:51:43.520 --> 00:51:44.710
And you know what's the one important
00:51:44.720 --> 00:51:45.829
cuz I know you mentioned something
00:51:45.839 --> 00:51:47.750
earlier and it crossed my mind again.
00:51:47.760 --> 00:51:49.750
The one important thing that has to do
00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:51.349
with the mentorship and all of that cuz
00:51:51.359 --> 00:51:53.030
all of that [ __ ] sounds real good.
00:51:53.040 --> 00:51:55.270
Right. It sounds real good and all of
00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:56.950
this stuff we talking sounds real
00:51:56.960 --> 00:51:59.109
>> right good
00:51:59.119 --> 00:52:02.150
>> but are they ready to accept
00:52:02.160 --> 00:52:05.589
that and you know how it happens is they
00:52:05.599 --> 00:52:08.069
might not be ready to accept it but just
00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:10.549
as persistent as they are when they like
00:52:10.559 --> 00:52:11.829
I want to do this I want to do this I
00:52:11.839 --> 00:52:15.109
want to do this it's upon us as the
00:52:15.119 --> 00:52:17.750
mentors and the good examples to be just
00:52:17.760 --> 00:52:20.470
as persistent but be showing by action
00:52:20.480 --> 00:52:24.150
right showing by action is
00:52:24.160 --> 00:52:27.270
The most important role of a mentor
00:52:27.280 --> 00:52:27.910
>> being real
00:52:27.920 --> 00:52:28.950
>> is planting seeds.
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:30.710
>> Yeah. Planting seeds.
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:33.190
>> That mean that what you plant it might
00:52:33.200 --> 00:52:35.349
not grow today.
00:52:35.359 --> 00:52:37.030
>> But it has the opportunity to grow
00:52:37.040 --> 00:52:38.230
because it's planted.
00:52:38.240 --> 00:52:39.190
>> Yeah. For sure.
00:52:39.200 --> 00:52:39.670
>> Right.
00:52:39.680 --> 00:52:42.790
>> Mhm. As long as you continue to water it
00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:49.430
daily by vision, by sound, and by
00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:51.670
a a followup,
00:52:51.680 --> 00:52:53.829
at some point that kid going to get what
00:52:53.839 --> 00:52:56.710
you're telling them. Because
00:52:56.720 --> 00:52:58.309
let me tell you this, right? The same
00:52:58.319 --> 00:53:01.430
person that's telling the kid
00:53:01.440 --> 00:53:04.069
not to do this,
00:53:04.079 --> 00:53:06.309
it's another person who looks just like
00:53:06.319 --> 00:53:08.790
that person telling that same kid to do
00:53:08.800 --> 00:53:12.790
that. They're both adults.
00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:15.109
So, one adult is taking part in my
00:53:15.119 --> 00:53:17.910
destruction and one adult is trying to
00:53:17.920 --> 00:53:20.870
take part in my reconstruction.
00:53:20.880 --> 00:53:22.950
>> Mhm.
00:53:22.960 --> 00:53:27.589
>> But who am I to tell a kid
00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:30.630
not to use a gun when it's another adult
00:53:30.640 --> 00:53:34.069
saying here go a gun to go kill with? We
00:53:34.079 --> 00:53:36.790
confusing them
00:53:36.800 --> 00:53:39.349
with our adultship
00:53:39.359 --> 00:53:44.630
about being uh in position to be a
00:53:44.640 --> 00:53:46.710
destructive role model or a positive
00:53:46.720 --> 00:53:50.549
role model. We look the same
00:53:50.559 --> 00:53:53.750
because we both do to them. You get what
00:53:53.760 --> 00:53:55.270
I'm saying? So yeah, you might be
00:53:55.280 --> 00:53:57.589
telling me to do right, but you telling
00:53:57.599 --> 00:53:58.950
me I should listen to you because you
00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:00.710
grown, right?
00:54:00.720 --> 00:54:02.230
this other T telling me I should listen
00:54:02.240 --> 00:54:04.069
to him because he grown too. But he
00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:05.829
telling me all the [ __ ] I need to hear
00:54:05.839 --> 00:54:07.670
that's going to be able to manipulate my
00:54:07.680 --> 00:54:09.750
childhike mind to do some [ __ ] that he
00:54:09.760 --> 00:54:11.270
no longer want to do because he's grown.
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:12.710
>> Cuz he got what I want though.
00:54:12.720 --> 00:54:13.670
>> Cuz he got what I want.
00:54:13.680 --> 00:54:15.030
>> Cuz he got what I want. And that's
00:54:15.040 --> 00:54:15.670
attractive.
00:54:15.680 --> 00:54:16.470
>> You're attractive.
00:54:16.480 --> 00:54:18.630
>> Yeah. And I always said this too early
00:54:18.640 --> 00:54:20.230
in recovery when I started working and
00:54:20.240 --> 00:54:23.430
it is that working with the men is
00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:25.589
>> cuz even men coming from jail,
00:54:25.599 --> 00:54:26.710
>> right? Right.
00:54:26.720 --> 00:54:29.349
still had that childlike mind and they
00:54:29.359 --> 00:54:31.670
still trying to figure it out. And then
00:54:31.680 --> 00:54:33.349
Yeah. And it's like, okay, but you want
00:54:33.359 --> 00:54:34.870
to be treated like a man, but hold on.
00:54:34.880 --> 00:54:36.309
We got to do something. We got to what
00:54:36.319 --> 00:54:38.470
we got to do is reconstruct your whole
00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:39.270
thinking process
00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:40.150
>> because you don't even know what that
00:54:40.160 --> 00:54:40.549
looks like.
00:54:40.559 --> 00:54:41.589
>> You know what I'm saying? We got to we
00:54:41.599 --> 00:54:42.950
got to take all of the feelings out of
00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:45.109
it and just use our brain for months.
00:54:45.119 --> 00:54:46.630
>> You know what I'm saying? And then at
00:54:46.640 --> 00:54:47.910
the end of the day, and then I used to
00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:49.430
always tell this too, is like some
00:54:49.440 --> 00:54:50.950
people still would not get it and they
00:54:50.960 --> 00:54:52.069
would leave. And then they would come
00:54:52.079 --> 00:54:53.910
back and they would leave. And it was on
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:56.870
me to um do the assessment and bring
00:54:56.880 --> 00:54:58.390
people in to this program,
00:54:58.400 --> 00:54:59.109
>> right?
00:54:59.119 --> 00:55:01.030
>> Cuz I went from digging the dumpsters,
00:55:01.040 --> 00:55:02.870
stealing cars, shooting dope, sleeping
00:55:02.880 --> 00:55:05.670
on the park benches, all of this [ __ ] to
00:55:05.680 --> 00:55:07.510
being the one responsible to be bringing
00:55:07.520 --> 00:55:09.270
people in this program that I graduated
00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:10.390
from.
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:11.829
>> And I used to tell them all the time
00:55:11.839 --> 00:55:13.670
like, "Hey, I got three questions for
00:55:13.680 --> 00:55:15.589
you. What do you want to do with your
00:55:15.599 --> 00:55:17.270
life?
00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:18.150
>> What are you going to use this
00:55:18.160 --> 00:55:19.910
opportunity for? And are you just trying
00:55:19.920 --> 00:55:21.510
to get out of jail?
00:55:21.520 --> 00:55:23.510
>> And this is Or, you know, even people
00:55:23.520 --> 00:55:24.710
like
00:55:24.720 --> 00:55:26.230
>> coming off the streets, too.
00:55:26.240 --> 00:55:26.790
>> Right. Right.
00:55:26.800 --> 00:55:28.470
>> You just need somewhere to sleep. Yeah.
00:55:28.480 --> 00:55:29.990
>> You just need somewhere to sleep. Why?
00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:31.829
>> Which is fine. Yeah. What What is that?
00:55:31.839 --> 00:55:32.870
Right. Cuz if you just want to get out
00:55:32.880 --> 00:55:33.990
of jail, it's cool. I'm going sign a
00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:35.349
slip before you get out because I know
00:55:35.359 --> 00:55:36.950
when you get here, we going to plant
00:55:36.960 --> 00:55:38.790
enough seeds in you and you going to
00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:40.309
feel like, "Oh [ __ ] this where I needed
00:55:40.319 --> 00:55:41.430
to be the whole time." Right. Right.
00:55:41.440 --> 00:55:43.030
>> But then some of the people would leave
00:55:43.040 --> 00:55:44.470
>> and they be like Justin why do you keep
00:55:44.480 --> 00:55:45.829
doing this? And I says you know
00:55:45.839 --> 00:55:47.510
>> cuz at some point somebody going to get
00:55:47.520 --> 00:55:48.150
it.
00:55:48.160 --> 00:55:49.670
>> I wouldn't give them the opportunity.
00:55:49.680 --> 00:55:50.630
>> Yeah.
00:55:50.640 --> 00:55:52.789
>> You know and I'm like this too low. And
00:55:52.799 --> 00:55:54.309
then I just go and then they would be
00:55:54.319 --> 00:55:55.990
like well I keep trying to help this
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:57.270
person and they're not listening. What
00:55:57.280 --> 00:55:59.750
would you do? And I say help not wanted
00:55:59.760 --> 00:56:01.750
>> is help not needed.
00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:03.670
>> You know what I mean? Like and they like
00:56:03.680 --> 00:56:05.589
what? And I'm like help not wanted is
00:56:05.599 --> 00:56:07.190
help not needed. Now, I'm not saying
00:56:07.200 --> 00:56:09.990
that if you feel just to want to go out
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:11.670
there and continue to help people, I'm
00:56:11.680 --> 00:56:13.030
never going to take that purpose and
00:56:13.040 --> 00:56:14.710
shine from you because I'm always going
00:56:14.720 --> 00:56:16.470
to be the helper. I'm always going to
00:56:16.480 --> 00:56:17.670
help people.
00:56:17.680 --> 00:56:19.349
>> But I'm going to tell you right now, you
00:56:19.359 --> 00:56:20.630
going to continue to keep hitting that
00:56:20.640 --> 00:56:21.990
brick wall
00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:23.990
>> because they not ready yet. And then
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:25.349
what you doing is you throwing them
00:56:25.359 --> 00:56:27.030
seeds out there
00:56:27.040 --> 00:56:28.630
>> and you just graze through it a couple
00:56:28.640 --> 00:56:30.230
times cuz I work with kids too.
00:56:30.240 --> 00:56:31.030
>> Right. Right. Right.
00:56:31.040 --> 00:56:32.710
>> Substance use counseling for the kids,
00:56:32.720 --> 00:56:34.309
enrichment and all of that. And I even
00:56:34.319 --> 00:56:36.069
did a backpack drive. right
00:56:36.079 --> 00:56:37.829
>> in Richmond
00:56:37.839 --> 00:56:39.349
backpacks, all of this stuff for the
00:56:39.359 --> 00:56:41.349
kids in Richmond just last year, last
00:56:41.359 --> 00:56:43.030
August, you know what I'm saying?
00:56:43.040 --> 00:56:46.230
>> Um, and because giving back to them and
00:56:46.240 --> 00:56:48.309
understanding like, hey, look,
00:56:48.319 --> 00:56:49.430
>> they like, "Hey, you the one with the
00:56:49.440 --> 00:56:51.109
sprayground backpacks."
00:56:51.119 --> 00:56:52.150
>> You know what I'm saying?
00:56:52.160 --> 00:56:58.390
>> Reme
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:00.150
you you Oh, you don't you don't talk
00:57:00.160 --> 00:57:01.190
like you look.
00:57:01.200 --> 00:57:02.710
>> You know what? You know what I think
00:57:02.720 --> 00:57:04.710
helped me the most? And this this a
00:57:04.720 --> 00:57:07.589
topic that we haven't covered, right? Um
00:57:07.599 --> 00:57:11.990
I'll transition into it for us. Um
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:13.510
how I got clean.
00:57:13.520 --> 00:57:14.470
>> Oh yeah, we was getting there.
00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:15.589
>> You get what I'm saying? Um
00:57:15.599 --> 00:57:17.190
>> the turning point. What was the turning
00:57:17.200 --> 00:57:19.510
point? Let me just ask you that.
00:57:19.520 --> 00:57:21.030
>> All through all that destruction cuz it
00:57:21.040 --> 00:57:22.710
was three questions after the last one I
00:57:22.720 --> 00:57:24.630
answered and we cuz this deep
00:57:24.640 --> 00:57:26.230
conversation exactly what you asked for.
00:57:26.240 --> 00:57:28.630
It was a deep conversation for sure.
00:57:28.640 --> 00:57:30.710
um when you use your first substances
00:57:30.720 --> 00:57:32.309
and then you sitting in there, what was
00:57:32.319 --> 00:57:34.950
your turning point that made you change
00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:36.789
the perspective and the thought process
00:57:36.799 --> 00:57:40.630
and becoming somebody 2011?
00:57:40.640 --> 00:57:42.390
What was that turning point that created
00:57:42.400 --> 00:57:43.510
2012?
00:57:43.520 --> 00:57:45.430
>> So I'll say 2009,
00:57:45.440 --> 00:57:45.910
>> okay,
00:57:45.920 --> 00:57:48.549
>> may have created is when the turning
00:57:48.559 --> 00:57:50.470
point may have been um
00:57:50.480 --> 00:57:51.910
>> the plant the seed was planted
00:57:51.920 --> 00:57:52.630
>> for me.
00:57:52.640 --> 00:57:52.950
>> Mhm.
00:57:52.960 --> 00:57:55.750
>> Yeah. If you plant seeds, they want to
00:57:55.760 --> 00:57:57.190
know when your seed was planted. Yeah.
00:57:57.200 --> 00:58:00.390
Um, I think
00:58:00.400 --> 00:58:01.750
my daughter.
00:58:01.760 --> 00:58:02.390
>> Okay.
00:58:02.400 --> 00:58:05.589
>> Um, I had her and remember we talked
00:58:05.599 --> 00:58:08.390
about um
00:58:08.400 --> 00:58:10.789
um both of us sharing something about
00:58:10.799 --> 00:58:14.150
finding things and blame it on someone
00:58:14.160 --> 00:58:14.870
else.
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:15.270
>> Yeah.
00:58:15.280 --> 00:58:18.069
>> My daughter used to find my things.
00:58:18.079 --> 00:58:18.950
>> Oh.
00:58:18.960 --> 00:58:22.950
>> And bring them to me.
00:58:22.960 --> 00:58:26.230
She didn't have to wonder.
00:58:26.240 --> 00:58:27.030
She knew.
00:58:27.040 --> 00:58:28.950
>> She knew.
00:58:28.960 --> 00:58:32.230
And I think one of the times, man.
00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:33.589
>> Damn, bro. That's heavy.
00:58:33.599 --> 00:58:35.510
>> I think one of the times, man, she she
00:58:35.520 --> 00:58:38.230
she she
00:58:38.240 --> 00:58:41.510
My daughter is my dog, but my world, she
00:58:41.520 --> 00:58:44.470
changed my life in so many ways, man.
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:46.150
And I'm so privileged.
00:58:46.160 --> 00:58:47.030
>> What's your daughter's name?
00:58:47.040 --> 00:58:49.030
>> Her name Yanni.
00:58:49.040 --> 00:58:49.589
>> Yiani.
00:58:49.599 --> 00:58:52.470
>> Iani. Shout out to Yani, man. Um, but I
00:58:52.480 --> 00:58:55.030
just added 2 3 years old not
00:58:55.040 --> 00:58:58.630
understanding that her love for me,
00:58:58.640 --> 00:58:59.750
>> that's my daddy
00:58:59.760 --> 00:59:01.750
>> taught me how to love me.
00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:04.549
>> Come on, man. Come on.
00:59:04.559 --> 00:59:07.190
>> Her finding my um
00:59:07.200 --> 00:59:08.549
>> Come on. Share that. Huh?
00:59:08.559 --> 00:59:11.349
>> Her finding my my utensils.
00:59:11.359 --> 00:59:12.549
>> Mhm.
00:59:12.559 --> 00:59:14.390
>> And saying, "Daddy, I'mma hide I'mma
00:59:14.400 --> 00:59:16.470
hide this from the world for you." Here,
00:59:16.480 --> 00:59:17.510
daddy.
00:59:17.520 --> 00:59:19.670
>> Yeah. at that young of a age
00:59:19.680 --> 00:59:22.789
understanding or not understanding
00:59:22.799 --> 00:59:27.750
how important that was to my change
00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:31.030
and how much it hurted me enough to want
00:59:31.040 --> 00:59:33.829
to change.
00:59:33.839 --> 00:59:35.829
You get what I'm saying? And and
00:59:35.839 --> 00:59:38.789
starting my mission on going to get
00:59:38.799 --> 00:59:42.069
methodon or trying this or trying Yeah.
00:59:42.079 --> 00:59:43.990
For two, three years I failed at getting
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:44.789
clean.
00:59:44.799 --> 00:59:47.430
>> Come on, man. But I was fighting at
00:59:47.440 --> 00:59:50.549
that. That's when my fight began. Yeah.
00:59:50.559 --> 00:59:53.030
>> My daughter created a fight in me from
00:59:53.040 --> 00:59:55.910
her loving me in a way that I never felt
00:59:55.920 --> 00:59:58.390
love from any human being in life
00:59:58.400 --> 01:00:01.510
>> by just showing me here, daddy. I'm
01:00:01.520 --> 01:00:02.950
going protect you. I don't want nobody
01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:04.710
to know that you lost this. You
01:00:04.720 --> 01:00:07.190
shouldn't have this. I know this yours.
01:00:07.200 --> 01:00:08.789
>> No matter how hard you're trying to hide
01:00:08.799 --> 01:00:11.270
this from me, I know it's yours. I'mma
01:00:11.280 --> 01:00:12.870
give it to you so nobody else be
01:00:12.880 --> 01:00:15.670
tripping on me finding it. You you get
01:00:15.680 --> 01:00:17.589
what I'm saying?
01:00:17.599 --> 01:00:19.750
Um,
01:00:19.760 --> 01:00:21.670
so I end up going to um,
01:00:21.680 --> 01:00:23.670
>> isn't God so good,
01:00:23.680 --> 01:00:24.789
>> man? Is amazing.
01:00:24.799 --> 01:00:25.430
>> Amazing.
01:00:25.440 --> 01:00:27.349
>> So, I end up going I end up catching I
01:00:27.359 --> 01:00:28.789
used to be selling bikes at the flea
01:00:28.799 --> 01:00:30.069
market. I used to be buying all the
01:00:30.079 --> 01:00:31.349
stolen bikes,
01:00:31.359 --> 01:00:33.030
>> right? Go to the flea market and sell
01:00:33.040 --> 01:00:33.670
them.
01:00:33.680 --> 01:00:35.270
>> So, I was selling them on Craigslist. I
01:00:35.280 --> 01:00:37.430
end up posting one on Craigslist that I
01:00:37.440 --> 01:00:38.470
actually stole.
01:00:38.480 --> 01:00:39.670
>> Okay. Well,
01:00:39.680 --> 01:00:42.069
>> that and um, somebody came to buy it.
01:00:42.079 --> 01:00:44.230
Bar police set me up. They got me. went
01:00:44.240 --> 01:00:46.710
to Courtney Martinez the judge say um I
01:00:46.720 --> 01:00:48.789
usually I never did this [ __ ] She said
01:00:48.799 --> 01:00:50.309
I got I got something for you today. I
01:00:50.319 --> 01:00:52.470
said what's that? She said I'm going to
01:00:52.480 --> 01:00:55.190
give you three years right or I'm going
01:00:55.200 --> 01:00:57.030
to give you 12 months at Salvation Army.
01:00:57.040 --> 01:00:59.349
Which one you want?
01:00:59.359 --> 01:01:02.069
I said can we come back to the next
01:01:02.079 --> 01:01:05.910
court date? And she said no. I need you
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:08.950
to make that decision on I think she's
01:01:08.960 --> 01:01:11.430
just telling me to decide today and you
01:01:11.440 --> 01:01:13.829
come back in 30 days and get sentenced.
01:01:13.839 --> 01:01:15.670
So I said, "Give me." I said, "I was
01:01:15.680 --> 01:01:18.069
tired. I knew I was tired. I was beat
01:01:18.079 --> 01:01:21.030
down, broke down. I was still being able
01:01:21.040 --> 01:01:23.349
to be okay, but I wasn't okay.
01:01:23.359 --> 01:01:25.589
>> Come on."
01:01:25.599 --> 01:01:27.430
>> I said, "Give me the program.
01:01:27.440 --> 01:01:28.549
>> I'll take it.
01:01:28.559 --> 01:01:30.390
>> I've turned programs down or I It was
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:31.829
easier for me to go to jail."
01:01:31.839 --> 01:01:33.349
>> Yeah.
01:01:33.359 --> 01:01:35.109
I took the program, right?
01:01:35.119 --> 01:01:36.230
>> Cuz that's hard. That's something that
01:01:36.240 --> 01:01:37.910
you told never did before.
01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:40.309
>> You know what she told me?
01:01:40.319 --> 01:01:42.230
>> All right. Well, tomorrow check yourself
01:01:42.240 --> 01:01:45.910
in. What?
01:01:45.920 --> 01:01:48.789
>> Like like she said like no, like 9:00
01:01:48.799 --> 01:01:49.990
a.m. tomorrow.
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:51.750
>> Yeah.
01:01:51.760 --> 01:01:54.069
>> I said, "Whoa,
01:01:54.079 --> 01:01:56.950
my life just changed." Um, I went to the
01:01:56.960 --> 01:01:59.349
program. I was dirty. Salvation Army
01:01:59.359 --> 01:02:01.190
downtown Oakland. Um, they sent me to
01:02:01.200 --> 01:02:02.950
Cherry Hill. pops. You went to uh
01:02:02.960 --> 01:02:03.670
Salvation Army.
01:02:03.680 --> 01:02:05.990
>> I went to Cherry Hill. Um what I got a
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:08.069
good amazing Salvation Armor story. I'm
01:02:08.079 --> 01:02:09.910
going tell you about it right now. Um
01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:15.589
went to Cherry Hill, sat there 3 4 days.
01:02:15.599 --> 01:02:19.510
In Cherry Hill, I took a shower.
01:02:19.520 --> 01:02:25.430
In that shower, as I'm as I'm showering,
01:02:25.440 --> 01:02:27.910
I'm rubbing on myself, you know, just
01:02:27.920 --> 01:02:32.150
soaping myself up.
01:02:32.160 --> 01:02:35.270
I felt myself in a way that I had never
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:38.470
felt myself before. Meaning that as I'm
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:41.510
showering, I'm crying.
01:02:41.520 --> 01:02:43.349
I'm boiling out saying, "This ain't you.
01:02:43.359 --> 01:02:46.390
You way better than this. Look how you
01:02:46.400 --> 01:02:48.150
got yourself looking. Look how you got
01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:49.910
yourself feeling, bro.
01:02:49.920 --> 01:02:51.109
>> You became one of them."
01:02:51.119 --> 01:02:53.990
>> I just start crying bull and bull and
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:55.910
bull. And
01:02:55.920 --> 01:02:58.390
>> I was I went So after that, I went to
01:02:58.400 --> 01:02:59.910
the program, right? I stayed in the
01:02:59.920 --> 01:03:03.910
program 30 like I forget three weeks. I
01:03:03.920 --> 01:03:06.309
went out to the docks. I took a wallet,
01:03:06.319 --> 01:03:07.750
brand new wallet. I didn't take it. I
01:03:07.760 --> 01:03:09.430
just needed a wallet for my stuff. I put
01:03:09.440 --> 01:03:11.510
in my back pocket. I go back in. Some
01:03:11.520 --> 01:03:12.710
days they search you when you come back
01:03:12.720 --> 01:03:14.710
in. Some days they don't. I came back
01:03:14.720 --> 01:03:17.430
in. Somebody probably on a doc's tow on
01:03:17.440 --> 01:03:19.829
me.
01:03:19.839 --> 01:03:21.029
>> When you talking about the docks, you
01:03:21.039 --> 01:03:23.109
talking about the working docs come in,
01:03:23.119 --> 01:03:25.270
right? So look, I saw So boom
01:03:25.280 --> 01:03:26.309
>> for Salvation Army.
01:03:26.319 --> 01:03:28.069
>> Salvation Army. So, um,
01:03:28.079 --> 01:03:29.190
>> cuz it's a working program.
01:03:29.200 --> 01:03:30.870
>> It's a working program. So, so boom, I
01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:32.789
come back in. It was this guy by the
01:03:32.799 --> 01:03:34.390
name of John Long. Used to run it,
01:03:34.400 --> 01:03:37.589
right? Um, catch me with the wallet.
01:03:37.599 --> 01:03:41.109
Kick me out. Boom. Right.
01:03:41.119 --> 01:03:42.470
When you get kicked out, you can come
01:03:42.480 --> 01:03:43.589
back in 30 days.
01:03:43.599 --> 01:03:44.470
>> And start all over.
01:03:44.480 --> 01:03:45.029
>> Start all over.
01:03:45.039 --> 01:03:45.589
>> Day one.
01:03:45.599 --> 01:03:46.870
>> Three weeks. Right. Check this out
01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:50.150
though. Boom. Come back 30 days. Stay
01:03:50.160 --> 01:03:52.309
clean. Go to court just let you go back.
01:03:52.319 --> 01:03:54.549
I stayed there 6 months. Three days
01:03:54.559 --> 01:03:56.789
before my sixth w graduation to go into
01:03:56.799 --> 01:03:58.950
the next phase of the program. I come
01:03:58.960 --> 01:04:01.990
back one minute late.
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.230
Kicked me out.
01:04:04.240 --> 01:04:07.349
I'm mad. [ __ ] this program [ __ ] bro.
01:04:07.359 --> 01:04:08.230
You feel me?
01:04:08.240 --> 01:04:09.990
>> It wasn't a program problem. It was a
01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:11.349
you problem.
01:04:11.359 --> 01:04:13.270
>> It was a Yeah, it was it was a problem.
01:04:13.280 --> 01:04:15.029
It wasn't know what it was. It wasn't a
01:04:15.039 --> 01:04:16.630
problem at all.
01:04:16.640 --> 01:04:17.510
>> It was a purpose.
01:04:17.520 --> 01:04:18.630
>> I love that.
01:04:18.640 --> 01:04:19.270
>> Yeah, for sure.
01:04:19.280 --> 01:04:21.029
>> Wasn't a problem. It was a purpose.
01:04:21.039 --> 01:04:23.910
Right. So, boom. I come back. I go back
01:04:23.920 --> 01:04:26.150
to court. I come after I go back to
01:04:26.160 --> 01:04:28.309
court, um the judge say, "You know what?
01:04:28.319 --> 01:04:29.829
I'm going let you go back. But this
01:04:29.839 --> 01:04:32.789
time, since this program is talking so
01:04:32.799 --> 01:04:35.029
highly of you,
01:04:35.039 --> 01:04:38.069
I'm not going to make you start the year
01:04:38.079 --> 01:04:40.309
over.
01:04:40.319 --> 01:04:42.150
I'mma add that six months to your year.
01:04:42.160 --> 01:04:44.630
Go do another six months." When I got
01:04:44.640 --> 01:04:47.190
back to the program, I got to start back
01:04:47.200 --> 01:04:48.230
>> day one.
01:04:48.240 --> 01:04:49.029
>> Day one.
01:04:49.039 --> 01:04:52.069
>> Yeah. They don't play. I'm the from
01:04:52.079 --> 01:04:54.549
starting back day one, I become the
01:04:54.559 --> 01:04:57.589
leader of everything around me
01:04:57.599 --> 01:04:58.950
because I've been through everything
01:04:58.960 --> 01:05:00.870
that everybody in these next six months
01:05:00.880 --> 01:05:03.109
got to go through.
01:05:03.119 --> 01:05:06.230
So it gave me the position to understand
01:05:06.240 --> 01:05:08.710
the power in being a leader. So when
01:05:08.720 --> 01:05:09.990
people going through stuff, I can talk
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:11.109
to them about it. When they going
01:05:11.119 --> 01:05:12.309
through, man, I'm about to leave. I can
01:05:12.319 --> 01:05:13.990
talk him out of it. Man, I got kicked.
01:05:14.000 --> 01:05:17.270
Man, I kicked out twice. I I can I can
01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:21.349
be so much influence in people beginning
01:05:21.359 --> 01:05:23.190
stages and them groups that we got to go
01:05:23.200 --> 01:05:25.109
through in the first six months. My
01:05:25.119 --> 01:05:27.349
voice matters because I've been here.
01:05:27.359 --> 01:05:28.309
>> Yeah, for sure.
01:05:28.319 --> 01:05:29.670
>> I didn't know that. I didn't understand
01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:31.829
that at first. Right. I end up
01:05:31.839 --> 01:05:34.069
graduating that program.
01:05:34.079 --> 01:05:36.390
I end up working inside of the
01:05:36.400 --> 01:05:39.510
rehabilitation part-time.
01:05:39.520 --> 01:05:41.829
I end up going from working part-time to
01:05:41.839 --> 01:05:44.069
being a doc supervisor. I went from
01:05:44.079 --> 01:05:46.230
being the dock supervisor to the
01:05:46.240 --> 01:05:48.630
transportation supervisor to the person
01:05:48.640 --> 01:05:50.950
who takes the trucks that tell the
01:05:50.960 --> 01:05:52.470
trucks what house to go to, what to pick
01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:54.630
up. I end up running the warehouse
01:05:54.640 --> 01:05:59.430
completely. Right. In that process, I
01:05:59.440 --> 01:06:02.549
was able to affect so many other men
01:06:02.559 --> 01:06:07.109
that's still clean right now because
01:06:07.119 --> 01:06:09.670
I was able to understand the program
01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:12.630
from the working aspect of it and from
01:06:12.640 --> 01:06:15.270
the rehabilitation aspect of it. And I
01:06:15.280 --> 01:06:19.109
was able to teach treat men like men.
01:06:19.119 --> 01:06:22.150
Instead of writing you up to make you
01:06:22.160 --> 01:06:23.589
miss your weekend visit with your
01:06:23.599 --> 01:06:26.789
family, I had a thing that I do, right?
01:06:26.799 --> 01:06:30.470
When somebody messed up on my docks,
01:06:30.480 --> 01:06:32.150
I say stop. When they know they caught
01:06:32.160 --> 01:06:33.750
up, brother, I say stop. And they say,
01:06:33.760 --> 01:06:35.510
"What's up?" They already know. I say,
01:06:35.520 --> 01:06:37.910
"Turn around." And I kick them dead in
01:06:37.920 --> 01:06:40.150
the ass.
01:06:40.160 --> 01:06:41.670
I wasn't expecting that one.
01:06:41.680 --> 01:06:44.950
>> Listen to me. B,
01:06:44.960 --> 01:06:46.630
do you want to you if I write you up,
01:06:46.640 --> 01:06:47.750
you ain't going out with your family
01:06:47.760 --> 01:06:48.710
this weekend?
01:06:48.720 --> 01:06:50.549
>> Yeah.
01:06:50.559 --> 01:06:52.630
>> You want me to kick you in your ass or
01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:55.349
you want me to write you up? Some people
01:06:55.359 --> 01:06:56.950
a [ __ ] going to keep me in my I said
01:06:56.960 --> 01:06:58.950
let me tell you something. I want you to
01:06:58.960 --> 01:07:00.870
tell life that when you [ __ ] up because
01:07:00.880 --> 01:07:02.789
every time you [ __ ] up life going to
01:07:02.799 --> 01:07:04.390
kick you in your ass way harder than I
01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:04.789
do
01:07:04.799 --> 01:07:06.309
>> and see what they don't understand that
01:07:06.319 --> 01:07:07.750
you have what what you just been
01:07:07.760 --> 01:07:09.029
through. You've already been through
01:07:09.039 --> 01:07:11.670
this. I done so I'm not working. So I
01:07:11.680 --> 01:07:13.589
already know I already know writing you
01:07:13.599 --> 01:07:15.829
up is only going to get a program hella
01:07:15.839 --> 01:07:17.750
hours for you to have to work here on
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:19.510
the weekend because they want to work
01:07:19.520 --> 01:07:21.990
for they cuz it's so I understand all
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:24.870
this. So, let me kick you in your ass
01:07:24.880 --> 01:07:26.150
because that's what life's going to do
01:07:26.160 --> 01:07:27.829
to you when you go back out there and
01:07:27.839 --> 01:07:28.470
[ __ ] up.
01:07:28.480 --> 01:07:29.349
>> Yeah.
01:07:29.359 --> 01:07:31.190
>> I'm not kicking you on your ass to kick
01:07:31.200 --> 01:07:33.190
you in your ass. I'm trying to give you
01:07:33.200 --> 01:07:36.150
like a metaphor type feeling about life
01:07:36.160 --> 01:07:37.990
when you get caught doing something you
01:07:38.000 --> 01:07:39.750
ain't got no business. This is the
01:07:39.760 --> 01:07:42.230
punishment. Life will kick you smoothing
01:07:42.240 --> 01:07:43.510
your ass. Yeah.
01:07:43.520 --> 01:07:44.950
>> I wouldn't kick him hard. I wouldn't
01:07:44.960 --> 01:07:46.390
kick him to the point of trying to hurt
01:07:46.400 --> 01:07:49.750
him. Bam. You feel me? to be like,
01:07:49.760 --> 01:07:51.430
understand that that's what happens in
01:07:51.440 --> 01:07:53.349
life. When you mess up, you get kicked
01:07:53.359 --> 01:07:56.309
in the ass. And if you want me to kick
01:07:56.319 --> 01:07:58.390
you in the ass every day, [ __ ] up every
01:07:58.400 --> 01:08:00.789
day. If you want to stop kicking in that
01:08:00.799 --> 01:08:02.230
getting kicked in the ass, cuz I'm not
01:08:02.240 --> 01:08:05.750
kicking your ass in the bathroom.
01:08:05.760 --> 01:08:07.109
I'm kicking your ass in front of
01:08:07.119 --> 01:08:10.470
everybody else ass I didn't kicked.
01:08:10.480 --> 01:08:12.230
So when you walk like, "But I'll be
01:08:12.240 --> 01:08:13.270
looking out for it." You know what I'm
01:08:13.280 --> 01:08:15.430
saying? He really ain't. He really could
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:16.789
ride the ship, bro. But you know what
01:08:16.799 --> 01:08:18.149
I'm saying? he really trying to teach
01:08:18.159 --> 01:08:21.030
his life because I had been through it
01:08:21.040 --> 01:08:22.789
>> and it had just got to the point where I
01:08:22.799 --> 01:08:25.349
didn't really I didn't really uh I
01:08:25.359 --> 01:08:26.630
really I didn't really agree with
01:08:26.640 --> 01:08:29.189
everything Salvation Army
01:08:29.199 --> 01:08:30.789
um
01:08:30.799 --> 01:08:33.910
outside of program had going on. So I
01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:36.470
just removed myself. But that's what did
01:08:36.480 --> 01:08:39.990
it for me. That's what allowed me to
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:43.189
grow and to the my my seed planting into
01:08:43.199 --> 01:08:45.189
being who I am today. being able to go
01:08:45.199 --> 01:08:46.470
through that program to be able to work
01:08:46.480 --> 01:08:48.630
that program be able to be there for the
01:08:48.640 --> 01:08:50.309
kid the people after because I the
01:08:50.319 --> 01:08:52.229
people that there knew used to be in the
01:08:52.239 --> 01:08:54.630
program so I'm like they like what he
01:08:54.640 --> 01:08:56.870
was in the program he graduated the
01:08:56.880 --> 01:08:58.309
program and start working here bro he
01:08:58.319 --> 01:09:01.749
ain't just no outside employee like I
01:09:01.759 --> 01:09:04.070
sacrificed they didn't pay they paid us
01:09:04.080 --> 01:09:08.070
pennies on a dollar rather work there
01:09:08.080 --> 01:09:10.870
but the experience I got about life
01:09:10.880 --> 01:09:14.950
about work and about me is what save my
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:17.749
life and help me grow into who I am. So,
01:09:17.759 --> 01:09:20.309
for those reasons, I tell Salvation
01:09:20.319 --> 01:09:23.189
Army, thank you. Only for those reasons.
01:09:23.199 --> 01:09:25.189
You get what I'm saying? But that's kind
01:09:25.199 --> 01:09:27.189
of where it started for me, man. But my
01:09:27.199 --> 01:09:28.870
initial
01:09:28.880 --> 01:09:30.550
reason to getting clean was because of
01:09:30.560 --> 01:09:31.749
my daughter. Bro,
01:09:31.759 --> 01:09:33.510
>> if you ain't going to do it for if you
01:09:33.520 --> 01:09:34.950
can't do it for yourself, do it for
01:09:34.960 --> 01:09:35.990
somebody else. And that's another
01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:36.709
misconception.
01:09:36.719 --> 01:09:38.149
>> Do it for somebody else until you can
01:09:38.159 --> 01:09:39.749
learn how to love yourself and do it to
01:09:39.759 --> 01:09:41.590
do it for you. love. If if your love for
01:09:41.600 --> 01:09:43.590
somebody else can get you to do
01:09:43.600 --> 01:09:45.269
something, do it until you love
01:09:45.279 --> 01:09:46.950
yourself. But don't make it your
01:09:46.960 --> 01:09:47.590
purpose.
01:09:47.600 --> 01:09:49.189
>> Because that's a misconception cuz I
01:09:49.199 --> 01:09:51.269
used to always say like they like, "Oh,
01:09:51.279 --> 01:09:52.709
you can't do this for your daughter. You
01:09:52.719 --> 01:09:54.229
can't do this for your family, man. [ __ ]
01:09:54.239 --> 01:09:54.790
that."
01:09:54.800 --> 01:09:55.510
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:09:55.520 --> 01:09:56.630
>> Hell no.
01:09:56.640 --> 01:09:57.910
>> I used to tell him, I said, "Don't
01:09:57.920 --> 01:09:58.550
listen to that."
01:09:58.560 --> 01:09:59.189
>> Yeah.
01:09:59.199 --> 01:10:01.430
>> To a counselor used to tell him this.
01:10:01.440 --> 01:10:02.470
>> Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
01:10:02.480 --> 01:10:03.830
That's the same. That's why I say
01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:05.910
remember we started this earlier and I
01:10:05.920 --> 01:10:07.830
said, "I don't agree with everything
01:10:07.840 --> 01:10:10.229
that got to do with programs." Yeah. And
01:10:10.239 --> 01:10:12.310
I said I told her I says I pull them
01:10:12.320 --> 01:10:13.990
aside, you know, and they like, "Man,
01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:15.590
Justin, you so real." Like, you know,
01:10:15.600 --> 01:10:17.350
you like whoop. And I'm like, you know
01:10:17.360 --> 01:10:18.790
what I'm saying?
01:10:18.800 --> 01:10:21.430
>> I'm like, "Hey, bro, check this out. You
01:10:21.440 --> 01:10:23.189
going to have to do it for somebody
01:10:23.199 --> 01:10:24.709
>> before you ever do it for yourself. You
01:10:24.719 --> 01:10:26.390
don't give a [ __ ] about yourself to do
01:10:26.400 --> 01:10:29.110
it enough to do it, right? So, if you
01:10:29.120 --> 01:10:30.390
got a baby,
01:10:30.400 --> 01:10:31.669
>> every time you want to walk out that
01:10:31.679 --> 01:10:32.790
door and get high, I want you to
01:10:32.800 --> 01:10:34.229
remember the time you was crying in my
01:10:34.239 --> 01:10:35.910
office, filling out the intake forms,
01:10:35.920 --> 01:10:38.229
and about about I want to do this for my
01:10:38.239 --> 01:10:39.830
kids. I want to do this for them. I want
01:10:39.840 --> 01:10:41.350
to do I want you to remember your
01:10:41.360 --> 01:10:42.630
daughter. I want you to remember your
01:10:42.640 --> 01:10:44.550
son. I want you to remember your mama. I
01:10:44.560 --> 01:10:45.830
want you to remember that [ __ ] because
01:10:45.840 --> 01:10:47.590
that's what's going to motivate you to
01:10:47.600 --> 01:10:50.470
stay your asses. And I says, man, you
01:10:50.480 --> 01:10:52.310
can follow all the rules in jail.
01:10:52.320 --> 01:10:55.189
>> It's easy, man. What the de tell you
01:10:55.199 --> 01:10:56.950
something? YES, SIR. I GOT YOU. I'LL
01:10:56.960 --> 01:10:58.470
MOCK THAT UP FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.
01:10:58.480 --> 01:11:00.229
>> THEY DON'T GOT TO TELL YOU. YOU asking
01:11:00.239 --> 01:11:02.709
if I CAN DO IT. OH MY GOD.
01:11:02.719 --> 01:11:04.149
>> DO YOU WANT TO GET REAL ABOUT IT?
01:11:04.159 --> 01:11:05.189
>> NO, MAN.
01:11:05.199 --> 01:11:07.669
>> I'm not I'm asking you, can I mop the
01:11:07.679 --> 01:11:09.110
tear? I ain't waiting for you to tell me
01:11:09.120 --> 01:11:09.750
to do it.
01:11:09.760 --> 01:11:10.310
>> Yeah.
01:11:10.320 --> 01:11:11.750
>> So, come on, man. Let's just be real.
01:11:11.760 --> 01:11:13.510
I'm asking you if I be a power worker. I
01:11:13.520 --> 01:11:14.790
ain't waiting for you to find me to be
01:11:14.800 --> 01:11:15.030
one.
01:11:15.040 --> 01:11:16.470
>> I'M PRAYING. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
01:11:16.480 --> 01:11:18.470
PLEASE. SO, come on, man. I get outside.
01:11:18.480 --> 01:11:20.310
I don't want to go sign up for a job,
01:11:20.320 --> 01:11:21.669
but I can go to jail.
01:11:21.679 --> 01:11:22.950
>> You talking about, oh, we got all these
01:11:22.960 --> 01:11:24.550
rules. Can't have a phone. Can't do
01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:25.350
this.
01:11:25.360 --> 01:11:28.149
>> [ __ ] [ __ ] up out of here. You
01:11:28.159 --> 01:11:29.669
got to lose that. You got to I got to
01:11:29.679 --> 01:11:31.350
break down that thought process of who
01:11:31.360 --> 01:11:32.950
you thought you used to be, cuz that's
01:11:32.960 --> 01:11:34.550
not who you truly are.
01:11:34.560 --> 01:11:35.910
>> You got to take those masks off.
01:11:35.920 --> 01:11:36.790
>> You got to take the mask off.
01:11:36.800 --> 01:11:37.669
>> You know what I'm saying? like they're
01:11:37.679 --> 01:11:39.110
just not really understanding. And it's
01:11:39.120 --> 01:11:40.709
just like anybody out there listening to
01:11:40.719 --> 01:11:42.229
this, like if you struggling right now,
01:11:42.239 --> 01:11:45.750
man, hey, DM me cuz I will get you.
01:11:45.760 --> 01:11:48.310
>> Yeah. DM me, DM. We can get you
01:11:48.320 --> 01:11:50.390
connected to a program. I can get you
01:11:50.400 --> 01:11:51.990
into Cherry Hill. If you in the
01:11:52.000 --> 01:11:53.669
Contracasta area, I can get you into
01:11:53.679 --> 01:11:55.430
West Care. Like, I got all these
01:11:55.440 --> 01:11:56.950
connections. If you want a program, a
01:11:56.960 --> 01:11:58.630
year program, a 30-day program,
01:11:58.640 --> 01:12:00.630
>> if you need if you I won't say if you
01:12:00.640 --> 01:12:02.550
need a sponsor, but if you This dude,
01:12:02.560 --> 01:12:03.669
man, he need a mentor.
01:12:03.679 --> 01:12:05.669
>> If this dude, man, he hit me um from
01:12:05.679 --> 01:12:07.590
Sack the other day, man. He said he just
01:12:07.600 --> 01:12:10.229
you know every I get him a lot but like
01:12:10.239 --> 01:12:11.750
but I really look up to you bro you know
01:12:11.760 --> 01:12:13.430
what I'm saying about you know we come
01:12:13.440 --> 01:12:15.270
from the same it's not the Caucasian do
01:12:15.280 --> 01:12:16.709
at the you know what I'm saying like but
01:12:16.719 --> 01:12:19.270
I look up to you but and I look up to
01:12:19.280 --> 01:12:20.790
you because you're so open about what
01:12:20.800 --> 01:12:22.310
you've been through and you don't
01:12:22.320 --> 01:12:23.669
understand how the people that's going
01:12:23.679 --> 01:12:25.030
through how they seeing that and they
01:12:25.040 --> 01:12:27.189
saying you know you giving us hope
01:12:27.199 --> 01:12:29.830
>> right so he told me a story about how
01:12:29.840 --> 01:12:32.470
you know he got a car got a nice car his
01:12:32.480 --> 01:12:34.229
girl going through some [ __ ] she telling
01:12:34.239 --> 01:12:35.910
him to sell it he feel like if he sell
01:12:35.920 --> 01:12:37.990
it is now everything he ever established
01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:39.990
from the game is gone and woo woo woo
01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:43.590
woo woo and then he tell me um man but
01:12:43.600 --> 01:12:45.430
I'mma check myself into this program on
01:12:45.440 --> 01:12:46.870
the third or whatever you know what I'm
01:12:46.880 --> 01:12:49.750
saying so I I tell him I said man I said
01:12:49.760 --> 01:12:52.790
man how about
01:12:52.800 --> 01:12:55.669
I walk you through that program
01:12:55.679 --> 01:12:58.470
how about in whatever way we can stay in
01:12:58.480 --> 01:13:00.310
contact while you going through that in
01:13:00.320 --> 01:13:02.790
your first early days of being out of
01:13:02.800 --> 01:13:06.149
that I do it with you
01:13:06.159 --> 01:13:08.149
said, "Huh?"
01:13:08.159 --> 01:13:10.470
I said, "Yeah, I want to do it with you,
01:13:10.480 --> 01:13:12.709
brother. I I want to I want to do it
01:13:12.719 --> 01:13:16.070
with you because I understand how
01:13:16.080 --> 01:13:20.790
important having someone in place
01:13:20.800 --> 01:13:23.430
that care about you enough to help you
01:13:23.440 --> 01:13:25.590
go through something because all the
01:13:25.600 --> 01:13:27.590
other people that you want to help you
01:13:27.600 --> 01:13:31.669
only know you for who you've been being.
01:13:31.679 --> 01:13:34.310
They sitting here wanting you to do
01:13:34.320 --> 01:13:37.110
better, waiting for you to [ __ ] up.
01:13:37.120 --> 01:13:38.709
>> I got an idea for you after this.
01:13:38.719 --> 01:13:40.070
>> Did you hear what I just said?
01:13:40.080 --> 01:13:41.750
>> Yeah, I just something popped in. I got
01:13:41.760 --> 01:13:42.709
an idea that I've been
01:13:42.719 --> 01:13:45.189
>> Most of the people who want you to do
01:13:45.199 --> 01:13:45.830
better.
01:13:45.840 --> 01:13:46.390
>> Yeah.
01:13:46.400 --> 01:13:48.630
>> Are the people that sitting there
01:13:48.640 --> 01:13:50.149
waiting for you to [ __ ] up?
01:13:50.159 --> 01:13:52.229
>> We going to have to collab on on on more
01:13:52.239 --> 01:13:54.709
than just this podcast.
01:13:54.719 --> 01:13:55.910
Uh on life.
01:13:55.920 --> 01:13:57.910
>> On life, man. That's why I sold you. I
01:13:57.920 --> 01:13:59.830
don't life is purpose, right?
01:13:59.840 --> 01:14:02.070
>> Yeah. You posted something. I jumped in
01:14:02.080 --> 01:14:03.990
your thing to see what it was about. I
01:14:04.000 --> 01:14:06.390
hit you and said, "Brother, let's do
01:14:06.400 --> 01:14:09.430
this podcast, not
01:14:09.440 --> 01:14:12.229
for you, but for the viewers."
01:14:12.239 --> 01:14:13.669
>> Mhm. 100%.
01:14:13.679 --> 01:14:15.110
>> You get what I'm saying? We having this
01:14:15.120 --> 01:14:17.750
conversation today because it means a
01:14:17.760 --> 01:14:18.870
lot to us.
01:14:18.880 --> 01:14:19.669
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:14:19.679 --> 01:14:21.990
>> But the reason that it means a lot to us
01:14:22.000 --> 01:14:24.070
is because we want to get the message to
01:14:24.080 --> 01:14:25.189
the people, brother.
01:14:25.199 --> 01:14:27.030
>> Yeah. What would you say to somebody out
01:14:27.040 --> 01:14:28.550
there struggling, don't know what to do?
01:14:28.560 --> 01:14:31.590
I would say um
01:14:31.600 --> 01:14:34.070
don't give up on yourself.
01:14:34.080 --> 01:14:36.950
Don't beat yourself up too hard for the
01:14:36.960 --> 01:14:38.709
decisions and choices that you making
01:14:38.719 --> 01:14:40.310
because right now that might be the only
01:14:40.320 --> 01:14:43.430
thing that you have inside of you to be
01:14:43.440 --> 01:14:45.590
able to know about life is to be able to
01:14:45.600 --> 01:14:47.750
go and do the things that you accustomed
01:14:47.760 --> 01:14:49.350
doing because that's the only thing
01:14:49.360 --> 01:14:51.910
that's going on inside of you. I would
01:14:51.920 --> 01:14:54.630
tell you to look for somebody
01:14:54.640 --> 01:14:57.590
outside of yourself to have some belief
01:14:57.600 --> 01:15:01.750
in and allow that person to support you
01:15:01.760 --> 01:15:04.630
or what you going through without an
01:15:04.640 --> 01:15:08.550
ego, without expectations.
01:15:08.560 --> 01:15:10.310
Just giving yourself to that person and
01:15:10.320 --> 01:15:13.510
say, you know what, help me out, man. I
01:15:13.520 --> 01:15:16.310
want I I'm here for you. Because the
01:15:16.320 --> 01:15:17.910
people who have already been through
01:15:17.920 --> 01:15:20.390
what you going through are the people
01:15:20.400 --> 01:15:22.390
that understand you the most and are the
01:15:22.400 --> 01:15:24.470
people that can help you the most. But
01:15:24.480 --> 01:15:27.350
it's only one way to change.
01:15:27.360 --> 01:15:30.149
You have to begin to forgive yourself
01:15:30.159 --> 01:15:33.030
and you have to begin to love yourself.
01:15:33.040 --> 01:15:34.709
If you don't do two those two things,
01:15:34.719 --> 01:15:36.950
you gonna stay clean for six months, six
01:15:36.960 --> 01:15:39.750
years, six days, six hours, and you're
01:15:39.760 --> 01:15:42.149
going to relapse because you haven't
01:15:42.159 --> 01:15:45.430
done the most important thing made you
01:15:45.440 --> 01:15:48.390
matter to you.
01:15:48.400 --> 01:15:51.270
>> I love that, man. I love that. And uh I
01:15:51.280 --> 01:15:52.870
mean, there's so many things that I want
01:15:52.880 --> 01:15:54.310
to cover, man. We probably gonna have to
01:15:54.320 --> 01:15:54.470
do
01:15:54.480 --> 01:15:56.229
>> Well, we gonna do some parts. We'll do
01:15:56.239 --> 01:15:58.630
some parts, man.
01:15:58.640 --> 01:16:00.550
And I know you about to you and uh you
01:16:00.560 --> 01:16:02.470
and Nef about to start up your own
01:16:02.480 --> 01:16:04.229
little podcast, man. You know what I'm
01:16:04.239 --> 01:16:05.750
saying? If it's something I could be
01:16:05.760 --> 01:16:07.510
>> Oh, no. For sure. No, for sure. I'm
01:16:07.520 --> 01:16:10.070
I'mma bring you on, you know, allow you
01:16:10.080 --> 01:16:12.470
to be a part of this conversation um
01:16:12.480 --> 01:16:15.430
that we're having. Um I think this is
01:16:15.440 --> 01:16:18.950
more so something that's a series
01:16:18.960 --> 01:16:21.430
and not a moment because as we grow, we
01:16:21.440 --> 01:16:22.790
gonna have better information this year
01:16:22.800 --> 01:16:23.669
with the people.
01:16:23.679 --> 01:16:24.070
>> Yeah.
01:16:24.080 --> 01:16:26.070
>> You get what I'm saying? Um, I don't
01:16:26.080 --> 01:16:28.070
think that we're having this
01:16:28.080 --> 01:16:30.709
conversation today based on something
01:16:30.719 --> 01:16:32.950
that we decided to do. I think it's more
01:16:32.960 --> 01:16:34.470
so a godly moment.
01:16:34.480 --> 01:16:35.350
>> No, for sure.
01:16:35.360 --> 01:16:38.550
>> And something that he put in and put us
01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:42.229
both in position to be able to to to do
01:16:42.239 --> 01:16:45.030
today. Understand me? And he probably
01:16:45.040 --> 01:16:47.910
have a bigger plan than um than we
01:16:47.920 --> 01:16:50.149
understand at this moment, but he had to
01:16:50.159 --> 01:16:51.910
use this moment to put that plan
01:16:51.920 --> 01:16:54.550
together. I want to run it back for you
01:16:54.560 --> 01:16:57.910
real quick and I want you to understand
01:16:57.920 --> 01:17:00.470
>> that from the beginning of this podcast
01:17:00.480 --> 01:17:01.990
starting and I'm not going to say that
01:17:02.000 --> 01:17:03.350
I've been on fire but Breaking
01:17:03.360 --> 01:17:05.189
Possibilities has been on fire.
01:17:05.199 --> 01:17:05.590
>> Right.
01:17:08.320 --> 01:17:11.189
From the very beginning, I got a list of
01:17:11.199 --> 01:17:12.870
people I want on the podcast.
01:17:12.880 --> 01:17:13.510
>> Right.
01:17:15.120 --> 01:17:16.229
>> Nef is one of them.
01:17:16.239 --> 01:17:16.950
>> Right.
01:17:16.960 --> 01:17:19.350
>> For sure. Because of what he does for
01:17:19.360 --> 01:17:21.750
the community. what y'all do for the
01:17:21.760 --> 01:17:24.870
community.
01:17:24.880 --> 01:17:27.189
>> And I've reached out to him many times,
01:17:27.199 --> 01:17:27.830
>> right?
01:17:27.840 --> 01:17:30.070
>> And he like hit up Gary. I've hit up
01:17:30.080 --> 01:17:31.830
Gary. Send Gary email, right?
01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:33.110
>> I'm not got a response.
01:17:33.120 --> 01:17:34.390
>> I'll take care of it.
01:17:34.400 --> 01:17:37.430
>> That ain't even a No, I fab respond to
01:17:37.440 --> 01:17:39.910
me on his own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:39.920 --> 01:17:42.550
So, it's like I just need I just holl at
01:17:42.560 --> 01:17:43.590
you,
01:17:43.600 --> 01:17:44.709
>> right?
01:17:44.719 --> 01:17:48.390
>> But I understand time is money and [ __ ]
01:17:48.400 --> 01:17:51.510
is valuable, right? And I get that 100%.
01:17:51.520 --> 01:17:53.030
Right. Especially when you don't know
01:17:53.040 --> 01:17:54.229
somebody and somebody coming through
01:17:54.239 --> 01:17:55.110
your DMs.
01:17:55.120 --> 01:17:55.669
>> Right. Right.
01:17:55.679 --> 01:17:56.950
>> You know what I'm saying?
01:17:56.960 --> 01:17:57.990
>> Business come through DMs.
01:17:58.000 --> 01:18:00.149
>> It's a big different business.
01:18:00.159 --> 01:18:02.709
>> When I shot you the email and I shoot
01:18:02.719 --> 01:18:04.229
you the package offer cuz there's an
01:18:04.239 --> 01:18:07.430
offer. There's a package for every
01:18:07.440 --> 01:18:09.030
business. I say, "Huh?"
01:18:09.040 --> 01:18:10.310
>> Yeah. Yeah. Right.
01:18:10.320 --> 01:18:11.750
>> But I'm like, "Nah."
01:18:11.760 --> 01:18:12.310
>> Yeah.
01:18:12.320 --> 01:18:13.830
>> But this just come with the email.
01:18:13.840 --> 01:18:15.590
>> Yeah. Yeah. I said, "Okay, good." And
01:18:15.600 --> 01:18:17.669
and and I wasn't offended. What did I
01:18:17.679 --> 01:18:19.270
tell you back? I said, "Thank you for
01:18:19.280 --> 01:18:21.030
sending it to me like this because now
01:18:21.040 --> 01:18:22.470
it helps me understand
01:18:22.480 --> 01:18:25.270
>> 100%." But then, you know what I mean?
01:18:25.280 --> 01:18:28.070
As much as I'm like, "Oh, boom, boom,
01:18:28.080 --> 01:18:29.030
boom."
01:18:29.040 --> 01:18:32.310
>> And then anything podcast, I know I need
01:18:32.320 --> 01:18:34.070
to be a part of because that's what I'm
01:18:34.080 --> 01:18:34.550
doing
01:18:34.560 --> 01:18:35.910
>> doing. Right. Right. Right.
01:18:35.920 --> 01:18:38.630
>> Anything a podcast, anything interviews,
01:18:38.640 --> 01:18:40.070
I need to put, you know what I'm saying?
01:18:40.080 --> 01:18:43.110
It's one of them things. But uh I like,
01:18:43.120 --> 01:18:45.990
share, comment on all the stuff that I
01:18:46.000 --> 01:18:48.070
love to see happen in the community.
01:18:48.080 --> 01:18:48.790
Right.
01:18:48.800 --> 01:18:50.870
>> And when I shot that when I shot that
01:18:50.880 --> 01:18:53.430
post out there or when I shot that u
01:18:53.440 --> 01:18:56.470
that uh that comment that comment, oh
01:18:56.480 --> 01:18:57.669
yeah, we need to collab.
01:18:57.679 --> 01:18:58.390
>> Right. Right.
01:18:58.400 --> 01:18:59.590
>> 100%.
01:18:59.600 --> 01:19:01.669
>> Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
01:19:01.679 --> 01:19:04.310
>> It it ain't it wasn't no anything behind
01:19:04.320 --> 01:19:06.070
it. Just like we need to
01:19:06.080 --> 01:19:06.870
>> and I seen it
01:19:06.880 --> 01:19:08.470
>> and boom, you hit me.
01:19:08.480 --> 01:19:08.870
>> Right.
01:19:08.880 --> 01:19:10.790
>> And I seen it slide through. But I I got
01:19:10.800 --> 01:19:12.790
a I got a ad running right there.
01:19:12.800 --> 01:19:14.870
>> So I got a bunch of DMs coming in,
01:19:14.880 --> 01:19:15.669
right?
01:19:15.679 --> 01:19:17.110
>> And it's a bunch of fluff, too, because
01:19:17.120 --> 01:19:18.390
I'm shooting them like, "Hey, look, we
01:19:18.400 --> 01:19:19.990
can highlight your business. I'm not
01:19:20.000 --> 01:19:21.750
only going to put you on the podcast,
01:19:21.760 --> 01:19:23.510
but I'm about to highlight you." So when
01:19:23.520 --> 01:19:25.430
I seen the hunter
01:19:25.440 --> 01:19:26.229
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:19:26.239 --> 01:19:28.070
>> I didn't It didn't connect for me.
01:19:28.080 --> 01:19:29.189
>> For me at first. Yeah.
01:19:29.199 --> 01:19:31.350
>> But something told me. And it's always
01:19:31.360 --> 01:19:31.910
God.
01:19:31.920 --> 01:19:33.430
>> It's always God. Ain't never something.
01:19:33.440 --> 01:19:33.910
It's always God.
01:19:33.920 --> 01:19:36.149
>> It's always God. God,
01:19:36.159 --> 01:19:38.550
>> man, go in there cuz you going to a
01:19:38.560 --> 01:19:40.229
request. You go into a whole different
01:19:40.239 --> 01:19:41.830
realm versus I don't know how it goes
01:19:41.840 --> 01:19:42.630
with you.
01:19:42.640 --> 01:19:44.870
>> You go it comes under like you got your
01:19:44.880 --> 01:19:45.510
primary.
01:19:45.520 --> 01:19:48.149
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. General and other got
01:19:48.159 --> 01:19:48.950
your ads.
01:19:48.960 --> 01:19:51.590
>> Yeah. You went into the ad bucket and I
01:19:51.600 --> 01:19:53.750
go in there and I'm like and I click on
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:57.510
it and I'm like I'll be damned.
01:19:57.520 --> 01:19:58.630
>> I'll be damned.
01:19:58.640 --> 01:19:59.350
>> Right.
01:19:59.360 --> 01:20:01.350
>> My purpose and my goal.
01:20:01.360 --> 01:20:02.229
>> Right.
01:20:02.239 --> 01:20:05.350
>> Or my goal might have been to get fab
01:20:05.360 --> 01:20:05.750
on.
01:20:05.760 --> 01:20:08.709
>> Right. Right. Right. But the purpose was
01:20:08.719 --> 01:20:10.070
to connect with you.
01:20:10.080 --> 01:20:12.070
>> Exactly.
01:20:12.080 --> 01:20:14.149
>> And him too. Don't get it twisted.
01:20:14.159 --> 01:20:16.070
>> Yeah. On two different on two different
01:20:16.080 --> 01:20:18.550
>> You miss 100% of the shots you don't
01:20:18.560 --> 01:20:19.030
take.
01:20:19.040 --> 01:20:22.550
>> I think I think I think that um
01:20:22.560 --> 01:20:24.870
I think that
01:20:24.880 --> 01:20:26.149
>> me and my nephew are two different
01:20:26.159 --> 01:20:27.830
people.
01:20:27.840 --> 01:20:28.870
>> With one purpose.
01:20:28.880 --> 01:20:29.350
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:20:29.360 --> 01:20:32.630
>> Right. So, I think that even though your
01:20:32.640 --> 01:20:34.470
shot is at him, it's for the purpose of
01:20:34.480 --> 01:20:37.270
what that looks like. The purpose that
01:20:37.280 --> 01:20:39.510
we're having today had nothing to do
01:20:39.520 --> 01:20:41.590
with me or you.
01:20:41.600 --> 01:20:42.870
>> No. No.
01:20:42.880 --> 01:20:44.390
>> That's what I want you to understand.
01:20:44.400 --> 01:20:45.110
>> No, it don't.
01:20:45.120 --> 01:20:46.390
>> It had everything to do with God,
01:20:46.400 --> 01:20:47.030
brother.
01:20:47.040 --> 01:20:49.990
>> Absolutely. And to form one.
01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:51.110
>> One.
01:20:51.120 --> 01:20:54.070
>> Form one. Right. I got after after we
01:20:54.080 --> 01:20:55.590
cut this scene, I'm going to tell you I
01:20:55.600 --> 01:20:57.750
got something in the works. But like,
01:20:57.760 --> 01:21:01.030
bro, what I'm my point is y'all is don't
01:21:01.040 --> 01:21:03.030
be afraid to shoot your shot. Yeah.
01:21:03.040 --> 01:21:04.870
>> Whatever it is, cuz you have no idea
01:21:04.880 --> 01:21:06.630
what the outcome is going to be,
01:21:06.640 --> 01:21:07.189
>> right?
01:21:07.199 --> 01:21:09.910
>> When Steph Curry throws that ball up,
01:21:09.920 --> 01:21:12.709
>> 1,000% of the time when he's putting it
01:21:12.719 --> 01:21:14.709
up, he's already thinking he made the
01:21:14.719 --> 01:21:15.030
shot.
01:21:15.040 --> 01:21:16.790
>> You know why? Cuz he's made that [ __ ] a
01:21:16.800 --> 01:21:17.510
thousand times.
01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:19.750
>> A thousand times. But he's already make
01:21:19.760 --> 01:21:21.110
he's thinking that he making the shot.
01:21:21.120 --> 01:21:23.189
And even a kid that's shooting the
01:21:23.199 --> 01:21:25.350
basketball thinks he can make the shot
01:21:25.360 --> 01:21:27.990
because make it.
01:21:28.000 --> 01:21:29.270
>> You don't know what the outcome is going
01:21:29.280 --> 01:21:31.590
to be. It's a 50/50 chance. Either
01:21:31.600 --> 01:21:32.950
you're going to make it or you're going
01:21:32.960 --> 01:21:34.790
to miss it. But I'm going tell you right
01:21:34.800 --> 01:21:36.790
now, as long as you continue to shoot
01:21:36.800 --> 01:21:38.709
your shot and you continue to be
01:21:38.719 --> 01:21:41.270
consistent, consistent. It don't even
01:21:41.280 --> 01:21:43.189
have to be quality, but be consistent
01:21:43.199 --> 01:21:44.950
with the things that you find purpose
01:21:44.960 --> 01:21:47.270
in, that you find value in, that you
01:21:47.280 --> 01:21:48.950
trying to help people, and you trying to
01:21:48.960 --> 01:21:51.110
do the things you need to do to make a
01:21:51.120 --> 01:21:53.189
change. I'mma tell you right now, that
01:21:53.199 --> 01:21:55.430
ball is going to go in the basket 100%
01:21:55.440 --> 01:21:57.430
of the time. So, don't be afraid to take
01:21:57.440 --> 01:21:58.149
your shot, man.
01:21:58.159 --> 01:21:58.870
>> Most definitely.
01:21:58.880 --> 01:22:00.070
>> So, you know what I mean?
01:22:00.080 --> 01:22:00.950
>> Most definitely.
01:22:00.960 --> 01:22:03.189
>> Hey, man. You know, I really, man, like
01:22:03.199 --> 01:22:05.270
I say, man, we going we going to allow
01:22:05.280 --> 01:22:08.149
us to to to cut this short today because
01:22:08.159 --> 01:22:10.470
because we already know that we this is
01:22:10.480 --> 01:22:12.470
this is going to be something that's
01:22:12.480 --> 01:22:15.590
ongoing for us and for the people that
01:22:15.600 --> 01:22:18.310
you get what I'm saying. Um I I want to
01:22:18.320 --> 01:22:19.750
thank God um
01:22:19.760 --> 01:22:20.310
>> for sure
01:22:20.320 --> 01:22:21.510
>> on this show
01:22:21.520 --> 01:22:23.510
>> for allowing us to have this opportunity
01:22:23.520 --> 01:22:26.390
to come together. Um you know when God
01:22:26.400 --> 01:22:27.270
put something together
01:22:27.280 --> 01:22:27.830
>> oh one time
01:22:27.840 --> 01:22:29.910
>> you want me tell you how the feeling
01:22:29.920 --> 01:22:32.390
that you get when you know God is in
01:22:32.400 --> 01:22:35.990
control of something is not a play.
01:22:36.000 --> 01:22:37.830
>> You this wasn't a play. This was a
01:22:37.840 --> 01:22:38.310
purpose.
01:22:38.320 --> 01:22:39.270
>> Purpose. Yeah. For sure.
01:22:39.280 --> 01:22:40.709
>> You get what I'm saying? And God put
01:22:40.719 --> 01:22:42.550
purpose together, brother. And I want to
01:22:42.560 --> 01:22:44.790
I want to go into that purpose with you.
01:22:44.800 --> 01:22:46.310
>> Yeah. I appreciate that and I thank you
01:22:46.320 --> 01:22:47.990
for that cuz it's a lot of things we can
01:22:48.000 --> 01:22:48.390
do
01:22:48.400 --> 01:22:49.270
>> for sure.
01:22:49.280 --> 01:22:50.390
>> And as you see,
01:22:50.400 --> 01:22:51.030
>> we out.
01:22:51.040 --> 01:22:52.149
>> God was like, "We done."
01:22:52.159 --> 01:22:53.270
>> Yeah, we done. You know what?
01:22:53.280 --> 01:22:54.390
>> Hey, but you know, at the end of the
01:22:54.400 --> 01:22:56.070
day, y'all, you already know what time
01:22:56.080 --> 01:22:58.070
it is. Breaking possibilities is where
01:22:58.080 --> 01:22:59.910
we use real life stories
01:22:59.920 --> 01:23:01.830
>> to help people grow and break those
01:23:01.840 --> 01:23:03.430
impossibilities. We had a fabulous
01:23:03.440 --> 01:23:05.750
guest. I see as we ran over time, we did
01:23:05.760 --> 01:23:07.350
as much. We did the most. I mean, it
01:23:07.360 --> 01:23:08.629
just is. That's what's happened when you
01:23:08.639 --> 01:23:10.070
have somebody here having a genuine
01:23:10.080 --> 01:23:12.470
conversation and to help people. I
01:23:12.480 --> 01:23:14.149
really believe that we're going to touch
01:23:14.159 --> 01:23:16.229
somebody. You know what I mean? And at
01:23:16.239 --> 01:23:18.229
the end of the day, if you don't already
01:23:18.239 --> 01:23:20.149
know, man, everything for him is going
01:23:20.159 --> 01:23:22.149
to be down in the description. His link
01:23:22.159 --> 01:23:24.470
to his Instagram, his mentor program,
01:23:24.480 --> 01:23:26.070
he's on the web. If you go to
01:23:26.080 --> 01:23:28.229
mentor.org, you can slide through and
01:23:28.239 --> 01:23:30.470
see mentor.org.
01:23:30.480 --> 01:23:32.310
>> You're going to see Ernest Holloway is
01:23:32.320 --> 01:23:33.590
one of the mentors. There ain't no
01:23:33.600 --> 01:23:35.030
picture there cuz I did look. There
01:23:35.040 --> 01:23:36.229
ain't no picture there, but we going to
01:23:36.239 --> 01:23:37.590
get you one there. You know what I'm
01:23:37.600 --> 01:23:39.510
saying? Help me get professional. I need
01:23:39.520 --> 01:23:41.270
that. At the end of the day, I'mma tell
01:23:41.280 --> 01:23:43.510
y'all right now, man. If you know
01:23:43.520 --> 01:23:45.430
anybody struggling, anybody going
01:23:45.440 --> 01:23:47.189
through it, I want you to tap in. I'm
01:23:47.199 --> 01:23:48.790
going to have all the descriptions down
01:23:48.800 --> 01:23:50.470
below. I'm going to have uh everything
01:23:50.480 --> 01:23:52.950
for SAMA, mental health, drug addiction,
01:23:52.960 --> 01:23:55.110
counseling centers, all of that down
01:23:55.120 --> 01:23:57.350
below because
01:23:57.360 --> 01:24:00.709
if we all help one person, this world is
01:24:00.719 --> 01:24:03.510
going to be a much better place. So
01:24:03.520 --> 01:24:04.870
remember to believe in yourself, trust
01:24:04.880 --> 01:24:06.149
yourself, and love yourself because
01:24:06.159 --> 01:24:08.790
anything is possible. You're possible.
01:24:08.800 --> 01:24:10.149
Shout out to the sponsors as well.
01:24:10.159 --> 01:24:12.550
Kraken Media, Diamond Business, Bloom
01:24:12.560 --> 01:24:14.149
Real Estate, and everybody else, man.
01:24:14.159 --> 01:24:18.199
Hey, let's get it, man. Come on.
