S2EP4 Your Future Self is Not a Fantasy, She's a Frequency

katie: Welcome back to season two, episode four of Beyond, a transformational space dedicated to you living a life beyond the mind, beyond the stories, and beyond the limits. Let's dive in. What if I told you that the woman you are becoming is not somewhere in the future waiting to be earned or worked towards? What if she is a frequency, a way of being, or a way of moving, or a way of making decisions that is available to you right now? Before the evidence is clearly in your reality to justify it. Now I know how that sounds. I know that for a woman as intelligent and empirically wired as you are, the statement she's a frequency might be the kind of phrase that sounds woo-woo and makes you want to roll your eyes and stop listening to this episode. And I get it, because for so many years I felt the same way. I was in your seat listening to podcasts, watching YouTube videos, reading books, and hearing all these successful people talk about frequency. And honestly, I struggled to understand what this concept meant for almost a decade. Because what I'm about to explain is actually backed by both quantum physics and neuroscience. And it is the principle that separates women who successfully redesign their lives. From the women who spend a lifetime hoping that their transformation will happen someday. Now, I have to tell you that before I understood this frequency idea, there was a moment I had back in 2018. I remember exactly where I was sitting when I got to make a decision about how to show up for a potential client call. For context, I had just left my nine to five job. And taken my coaching business full-time. I had been coaching private clients successfully for just over two years at this point on the side. But this was my first time stepping fully into building my own business that would no longer be supplemented by a traditional nine to five income, which meant that this particular discovery call held a different level of significance for me. And because my clients had been getting such amazing results over the past two years. I knew it was time for me to raise my coaching rates. The rate I was committed to charging this time was significantly more than I had ever charged for my services. And the woman I had been up until this point would have played small on this call because of the perceived stakes. I could in this moment feel the nervousness in my body as I was navigating this new space of business. And owning my worth as a coach. I was having thoughts like, just offer your old rate. It's okay. Just one more client at the old rate will be fine. And to be honest, I really did take comfort in the idea of living at my old rates, even though I knew I was way underpriced for the market. I knew if I offered my old rates, I would get a guaranteed yes from this client. And my old identity was so nervous to navigate the sensation, the emotional sensation of not being able to help this woman if she wasn't in a place to see the value of investing in herself and working with me at my new rates. But in that moment, I had done enough personal redesign work that I could feel my future self available to me right now. The future me that Had the business I was creating that was creating incredible results with her clients, that was charging market rate or higher for her work. And I knew this because I had taken time to create her, and she wasn't just an airy fairy daydream in my mind. I sat down consistently and invested time in writing her out and feeling her and Writing out how she would make decisions and then going out in the world and making decisions like she would. I had enough awareness to know that I was one confronting conversation away from being the woman I wanted to be in this moment right now. Being my future self, the woman whose coaching rate was not just for any client, but it was for the right clients. And the woman who could own the true value of her work in real time. Now, sitting here back in 2018, I decided to make the uncomfortable choice. I decided to take the risk, because it felt like a big risk in that moment, and occupy the frequency of my future self for that one conversation. My intention was not to pretend and not to perform, but to rather genuinely be the woman I said I was committed to being. I chose to. Walk my talk. I paused, I closed my eyes, I dropped into my body, and I felt what it was like to be my future self now. I felt her posture, her pace, her honesty, her certainty, and her knowing. Long story short, the client said yes to a three-month agreement and created such incredible results that we ended up working together for over a year. At the new rates. And more than that, the client could feel something different in how I was showing up. She told me later, Katie, I knew you were the right person the moment you said with full conviction that this work will transform my life. My client that day felt my certainty and she banked on it. She was not worried about the investment at all. She knew she was committed to her own transformation, and she wanted a coach who was certain in their ability to facilitate results. Now, what I hope you can hear in my personal story is that I had not changed my strategy and I had not changed my skill set, but I did change my frequency. All of the anxiety, the uncertainty, and the fear that showed up before that call was created by me, which means. If I can create anxiety, uncertainty, and fear, then I can also create certainty and confidence and groundedness. And my reality responded to my new frequency immediately. This is exactly what we are getting into today. And I want to give you the framework for why this works, because I will not ask you to take it on faith and my anecdotal information alone. So in neuroscience, The principle we are working with is called state-dependent learning and behavior. This is not a concept I made up or borrowed from the self-help world. It is actually a well-established body of research that tells us this. Your brain's ability to access certain kinds of information, perception, and capability is directly tied to the emotional and physiological state you are in at that moment. AKA, your frequency. So your frequency is the emotional and physiological state you are in at any given moment. When we are in a state of anxiety, scarcity, or vigilance, which is oftentimes the states that our adapted identity or old identity lives in, we quite literally have access to less neural networks associated with creativity, clear decision making, and expansive thinking. Our imagination and critical thinking shuts off. The hippocampus and the amygdala, which are the parts of your brain responsible for memory and emotional experience, become flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. And in that state, your nervous system is not looking for a possibility and it cannot access critical thinking. It is only able to scan for threats. When you shift into a state of settled confidence, curiosity, or expansiveness, the internal states that our future self generates, right? I don't ever hear a woman say, In the future, I want to be afraid and I want to be anxious and I want to be hyper-vigilant, right? She's almost always saying, I want to be calm and I want to experience peace and I want to be able to trust myself. And this is the space where We can activate the different networks of our brain and we can see more options. We can make better decisions. And as a result of that, we are perceived differently by everyone around us. This connects directly to a second principle called embodied cognition, which is the neuroscientific understanding that your mind and your body are not separate systems. And this is the whole impetus for beyond. Let me side note here and say that one of the issues I have with the personal development world is that so many coaches and facilitators try to separate the mind from the body, and that inhibits progress and it's almost detrimental for progress. The mind and the body are not separate systems. Thinking, memory, and identity are not purely happening in your head. They are happening in conjunction with the experience of the body. They are in collaboration. They are a team. So they show up in your posture, your breath, your pace, and the tension or ease that is present in your chest in any given moment. Researchers like Antonio Damasio demonstrated that bodily sensation is actually integral to decision making. If you're listening to this, I know you know that gut feeling, right? I I will talk to women and even myself, I'll say, I I I just had a gut feeling about this, right? The physical sensation is a part of our identity and not a byproduct of it. You cannot access a new version of yourself purely through thinking. I mean, I wish we could because if all I had to do was change my thinking, I would probably be there by now. And and have it by now, right? And I think if we all could just change our identities based on our thinking, then we would all have done it already, right? It would be so simple, so easy, so quick because we would just think a new thought and poof, right? It would show up. But that's not how this works because we are in a human body, and the body has to be a part of the shift. This is why in that moment. Before my discovery call in 2018, taking time to pause and closing my eyes and dropping into my body was not a spiritual practice. It was a neurological one. I was deliberately shifting my frequency or my state of being so that I could access the version of myself that I intended to be in that moment. This also connects to what physicists call the observer effect. Which is what we measure, we change. How we show up changes what is possible in the field of reality around us. And I want to name this directly for the analytically wired women like me listening. This is not a metaphor. Researchers in quantum physics have demonstrated that the act of observation itself changes what's being observed, right? We talked about this with the reticular activating system or the lens. And the same principle shows up in how our internal state changes what becomes available in our external environment. Our energy is not a woo-woo or soft concept. Our energy is a set of signals in our voice, in our posture, in our pace, in our decisions. They might seem subtle, but they stack up so quickly. And other people are always reading us and responding to Our state of being. So when the signals change, the responses change too. In other words, who you are in your body, in your nervous system, in your state, or in your frequency determines what you can see, do, and attract. Not the other way around. And this is the principle that the entire self help industry has a little bit backwards. The industry says when you have results, You'll feel confident. And at Beyond, we say confidence is what produces the results. And the confidence, aka the frequency, is accessible now as a practice before the evidence even shows up in your reality. And I'll go a step further and say that the most compelling frequency any of us can embody is conviction. It is conviction, and if you can tie conviction with authenticity, you will literally be unstoppable. You are not waiting to become the woman of your dreams. You are practicing being her right now. And the practice of being her is what makes her real right now. Now, let me get practical about what frequency actually means as a daily behavior, because you know I love making things as important as frequency actionable right now. So, your frequency is not a mood. You cannot manufacture it by trying to feel confident. It is a set of practiced micro decisions that collectively produce a different way of being in the world. Here are the four dimensions of frequency I use with my private clients and I use in the red method. Dimension one, the pace. The future self does not rush. Not because she has more time. In fact, she has the same 24 hours as you and I do and everybody else does. But because she has created a different relationship with time, she has decided that moving intentionally for the sake of quality is far more important than being half present in her projects and getting mediocre results. So, what is one area of your life this week where you could practice the pace of your future self? Dimension two is the filter. The future self has a different set of criteria for what she allows in. It's not better boundaries necessarily, but it's a different frequency of decision making. Instead of asking, will this upset someone? She asks, Does this contribute to who I am becoming right now in my life? Whose energy Whose demands, whose expectations are you currently operating according to that might actually be keeping the adapted identity alive and preventing your future self from showing up right now? Dimension three is the sentence. Let's be so for real right now. Your future self speaks differently. Not more eloquently, but more directly. She's so clear. She does not over explain. She does not apologize before she sets a boundary. She does not self-deprecate. She says what is true and in fewer words and waits for the other person to receive it. What is one sentence this week that your future self would say differently than your current self? Dimension four is the body. The future self inhabits her body differently. I would imagine she is less constricted. She breathes into her belly. She takes up the space that she needs unapologetically. And when you sit in a chair, a meeting, or an important conversation, what is your body saying in that moment? Is your body bracing for impact? Or does your body trust its own wisdom and the unfolding of life? Pay attention to your body this week and the message and the frequency that you might be creating. Without even realizing it. These four dimensions, pace, filter, sentence, body, are the practice of frequency. And you can begin practicing today before a single external thing in your reality has changed. So I'd like to invite you to try something right now. And I want you to take it seriously, even if it feels strange. Think of a specific situation you are navigating this week. Maybe it's a conversation. a decision or a moment of visibility, but choose something real. Now, how would your future self, the woman you declared you are becoming, how would she walk into that situation? Not what would she do or what outcome would she create, but rather who would she be as she moves through that scenario? See her, hear her, feel her. And hold that in your body for a moment. Allow your body to try it on, even if it's just a whisper of something different. Allow yourself to experience your future self right now. Because this is not a performance, this is a practice, and that distinction is everything. And that distinction actually showed up with a client I had named Rebecca. Who was preparing to pitch to a room full of investors for the very first time. Now, Rebecca had done her homework. She had the deck, she had the numbers, and she had more than enough experience in the finance world to be in the position that she's in. And yet, she felt terrified in a way that logic couldn't really justify. As Rebecca and I worked together, we learned that Rebecca was actually terrified of being seen. Like really seen in her own power. She was so nervous to be seen as the woman who believed unequivocally that this idea of hers was worth funding and that she was more than capable of delivering. Rebecca and I devoted our work together not to reviewing slides and data, but instead to practicing her frequency. I asked, who is the woman who walks into this room? And Rebecca got specific. She tried it on. She sent me voice notes as her future self. She recorded herself delivering the pitch as her future self. And we created the space for her body to feel what settled conviction actually feels like in real time. As opposed to being the woman who she thought potential investors wanted her to be, Rebecca instead became the woman she knew she could be, and the woman that she knew she wanted to be. And as we practiced her future self, Rebecca no longer performed on a hope and a prayer. She confidently embodied and delivered on truth and authenticity. When it came time for her to pitch, Rebecca walked into that room embodying the frequency of her future self. She spoke from her inner knowing and her experience and secured the funding along with a few other meetings from other interested potential investors. Rebecca was so excited. She messaged me after that saying, Katie, I wasn't anxious or scared at all. I decided that for the next hour in that room, I was going to be the future self that you and I created. And my future self was certain that this funding was happening no matter what. And that's the practice. That's the frequency. And that is available to you right now. So here's what I want to leave you with today. The woman you are becoming is not a reward waiting at the end of a finish line, an extended period of grueling hard work or even burnout. She is a practice that is available to you right now, today. She is a frequency you can occupy in one conversation, one decision, one sentence before your reality reflects any evidence back to you. Your homework this week is to choose one situation and decide in advance that you will walk into it as your future self. Choose one dimension, either pace, filter, sentence, or body, and practice being your future self deliberately in the situation that you choose. One moment, one practice. That is where redesigns really happen. It's not in the grand gestures, but in the small repeated choices to continually occupy a different frequency right now. In next week's episode, we close out the redesign phase with the first honest declaration you've made in years. We are going to bring everything from episodes one through four together into the declaration itself, which is the most important thing you will do in the redesign phase and maybe. The most important thing you will do all year. If you haven't yet, go back and listen to episodes one through three. Download the free redesign three-dimensional visioning process and have it ready for next week's episode. If something shifted in you today, be generous and share this episode with a woman who you would like to see win alongside you. Maybe you can hold each other accountable through the redesign three-dimensional visioning process and do it together. I'm Katie Lynn Rahano, this is Beyond, and I hope you take this week to live beyond the mind, beyond the stories, and beyond the limits. I will see you next week.