Why Do You Do What You Do? A Journey To Finding Purpose

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I was a school teacher at the time.
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We had about 50 some odd thousand dollars in debt and at that time I made about $40,000 a year.
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And I began to feel, like you know, I wasn't doing a good job as a provider and I fell into a pretty dark place.
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I'd hatched this plan to drive the car off of a cliff on the windy road so that it would look like I'd just fallen asleep, and had this plan because I figured that would give us enough money that my wife could pay off the debt, she could take care of the son and she'd be fine.
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So I used to listen to talk radio on the way home.
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And here are these idiots talking about getting out of debt and changing their lives, and I'm like yelling at the radio.
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You know, nobody can live like this.
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What are you talking about?
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Because of that I was like well, wait a minute, maybe there is something to this.
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Welcome to the New Horizons podcast.
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I'm Brian Curee and I'm Shauna Curee, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer B, in virtual reality.
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So this podcast is recorded live from the metaverse at the Killer B studios where real life stories and experiences are shared in a way only the metaverse can offer.
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With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's episode.
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Look at all these amazing people, hey there's everybody.
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I was delayed.
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This is delivery, Sorry.
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Some confetti for everybody over there.
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Some confetti.
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Hold on Smith right here, Okay there you go, smith and some Yvonne up there.
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Our guest tonight is Scott bear.
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Uh, our guest tonight is Scott Maderer.
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See, I, I can do that name, I can do it.
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That's right.
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Not like, not like Maderer, it's Maderer.
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So later we were just, we were just talking outside about the cars movie, right, because he said that that helps him, help people learn how to pronounce his name, his last name, exactly, yes, so how many of you throw some confetti if you've seen the car movie and you know who Maderer is?
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All right, ok, all right.
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All right, all right, wait a minute.
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Oh, can I say something?
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Yes, if you have not seen Cars, you have to see it.
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It's like classic.
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I mean not classic in the way we know, classic, but like classic Disney or Pixar.
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I think it's actually Pixar.
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It is Pixar, you're Pixar.
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I think it's actually Pixar.
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It is Pixar.
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You're right, I think it's Pixar, yeah.
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Ignore what I said yes, and they have classic cars on there too, so I guess kind of classic it must be Disney and Pixar, because they have the car section in Disney.
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Remember.
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Yeah, yeah, I think that's a whole different.
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Yeah, we're.
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Yeah, there's something behind that.
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I can't remember what it was, but yeah, they partnered, maybe it was both they partnered sorry guys did they partner for that movie, did they?
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Partner should I google it?
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while you're talking no, don't google it, I think Deeenr is.
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She was looking at her wrist.
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Well, our guest tonight, Scott Maderer.
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He is the author.
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He's not not on the Cars, pixar movie or Disney movie.
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He's not on that.
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He is an author of the book Inspired Living.
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So I'm excited to have him come out here in a little while.
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But tonight's topic we're going to be talking about why do you do what you do?
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Now I want to ask everybody in the audience, by throwing some confetti, how many of you, how many out here, has ever found themselves asking why am I doing this?
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Anybody?
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Okay, all right, okay, so we got okay, there we go.
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Yeah, we got a few people out here.
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I get it.
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I can now imagine.
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Here's what I was thinking.
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I met with Scott a while back about coming and talking about his story and sharing what he does, and it made me think about just taking some time to imagine if we've all kind of been there where we've thought why am I doing this?
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Why am I here right now?
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Why am I doing this?
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And now imagine what it would feel like if your day or if your life was aligned with your purpose, not just your calendar Now was aligned with your purpose, not just your calendar.
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Now, mrs Killer Bee, I know how many here are digital calendar people, how many here use calendars.
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Throw some confetti, use calendars, okay.
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How many?
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of you Paper calendars, throw some confetti.
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Oh okay, you're not alone, mrs Killer Bee, mrs Killer.
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Bee does not like digital calendars.
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She does not like them, but I think that's something that we've talked about definitely in the past and something that I've learned more and more about.
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Our calendars can become so full of a bunch of stuff that's just keeping us busy and I know we're going to talk about that more Now.
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Scott, he actually went through a financial crisis and there might be some here tonight or listening on the podcast that can relate to that but he went through a financial crisis and he got to a place in his life where he was just burnt out.
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He found purpose in this and I'm interested to hear him share that story and how he now he actually helps others.
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Now, today, he helps others stop working.
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I like how he said this.
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He says I help others stop working and start living their calling.
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Now, I know that's an interesting thing to probably dissect and discuss.
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But, mrs Killer Bee, before we bring out Scott, I think you're going to love this guest Because he said something else to me.
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This was during our Zoom meeting, as we were talking about him coming on being a guest.
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He said this I think I know what it is.
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What is it, I guess?
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Did you look?
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Did you look at my?
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I think he said yeah, I did.
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I think he said you should let your wife buy as many plants as she wants that is not at all what he said, I'm sure I'm gonna check with him when he gets out here.
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I thought that's what I heard him say.
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No, that's not what he said at all.
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What he said, you should hit the wah-wah on that, dean or not?
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A pause.
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No, not necessary.
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He actually said books change lives.
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Oh well, I'm all in on that too.
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Yes, absolutely yeah.
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If Mrs Killer Bee has a lot of anything, it's plants and books, that's for sure, but I thought it'd be cool to actually even talk to him about that as well.
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So with that, you guys, this is Scott first time in the metaverse, so let's reign him with some confetti.
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We're going to get ready to bring him out.
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So, Deeenr, can you go ahead and hit the guest music there?
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It is All right.
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Let's bring out our guest, Scott Maderer, to the Killer Bee Studios.
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Everybody throw some confetti for Scott.
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Let's see, make sure he makes it out here.
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There he is, oh yeah, no problem.
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Scott, how are you doing, man?
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We're so glad you're here tonight Doing great, and look, I didn't actually come out here without falling, and look, I didn't actually come out here without falling.
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That's always good.
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Absolutely no problem whatsoever.
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Scott, we're so glad you're here.
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You joined us tonight.
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You know people don't know like some of the stuff we have to do for preparations.
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They do know that I have to like that I create people's avatars and you guys I have to.
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I always tell myself I'm like an open book.
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It was like 10 minutes before, or maybe five minutes before, Scott was supposed to meet us in here and I was like, oh, I forgot to update his avatar.
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He's gonna come in as a girl.
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I gotta fix this.
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But luckily he had already caught that and done some work his own and uh, so I was able to scan his picture and make sure he was safe, because I was like, oh my gosh, someone that doesn't never been in here, they're gonna come in like I don't know what to do.
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So, Scott, we, we are so glad you're here and and that you look like yourself well, as your cartoon self, so well, yeah I look like my, like my avatar, self right is that?
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yeah, that's right.
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That's right.
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Uh, Scott, would you uh, we're glad you're here would you take about 30 seconds?
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Just tell us all a little bit about Scott sure?
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so yeah, my name is Scott Maderer.
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I live in Central Texas with my wife.
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I have an adult son who lives about three hours away from us.
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For some reason he wanted to move to where his girlfriend was going to college instead of staying close to mom and dad.
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I don't really understand that, but yeah, but you know how that works.
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I've been a school teacher in my life.
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I did that for about 16 years.
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I have a background in science, so I taught science for 16 years.
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I taught middle school, I taught high school and then I went into the corporate world.
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I did that for 11 years working in, still in education, but I went from teaching to testing.
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In the words of my students, I joined the dark side.
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So, I'm not sure why they said that.
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But you know how that works.
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So I eventually was in senior leadership and flying all over the country doing a lot of corporate work, had a big team, did all of that.
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And as I kind of went on that journey, I began to do a lot of work on self-development and leadership and communication and all of these sorts of things.
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And my wife and I, you mentioned went through a financial period of our own and some struggles and I know we'll talk more about that in a minute and through that people started coming to me and saying, hey, can you help me?
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Y'all are doing something different, you act different, you look different, You're behaving different.
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Can you help me?
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And so we started doing that.
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And then I realized, hey, wait a minute, I'm coaching.
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I just didn't know that was what they called it, but that's what I'm doing.
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And so eventually I started coaching on the side and that has now turned into my full-time business.
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So I've been doing it full-time since 2017, worked with folks in 20 countries, 38 states and over a000 clients during that length of time.
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Wow, that's amazing.
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That's amazing.
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Well, and you have a book out, right, it's called.
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Okay, now I remember what it's called Inspired Living.
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Inspired Living.
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And then the subtitle is Assembling the Puzzle of your Calling by Mastering your Time, your Talent and your Treasures.
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This is going to be an interesting conversation.
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I like this.
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I like this.
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Okay, so can we?
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Can we touch on your your statement about books change lives before we get into your story?
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Or is that part of your story?
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No, absolutely not, we can talk about that.
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So, and it is part of my story too.
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So, when I mentioned that I was trying to learn more about communication, learn more about these things, one of the things that I discovered is that you could actually get mentored by some of the best thinkers in the world by reading books, you know, and that idea of of readers or leaders and leaders are readers, is something that really resonated with me.
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I've always been a reader.
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I actually came home from, I believe it was kindergarten or first grade, and I was angry because I'd been in school for a whole week and they hadn't taught me how to read.
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Yet you know which?
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I mean geez, you know seven whole days.
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I mean, surely we could do it by then, and so I've always been a reader, I've always been somebody who did that, because, at the end of the day, when you, when you find a way to get, to get thoughts and to get ideas, I found that books are really one of the most efficient ways of doing it.
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You know, by the way, it wasn't plants, I actually said you could buy as many books as you wanted.
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That's, that's actually what I mean.
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Okay, I'm fine with that.
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Yeah, I'm good with that, you can work with that.
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She's like.
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I'll take that.
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I can work with that.
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How many book readers do we have here, like throw some confetti?
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Anybody in here love reading books?
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Okay, iris, yvonne.
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Okay, no thumb.
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Okay, no, no thumb okay, awesome are you guys?
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How many of you are audiobook readers like or, I guess, listeners?
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I like audiobooks too yeah I like audiobooks, I'll take them anyway.
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I can get them yeah I've gotten much more where I do audiobooks that it seems like the older I've gotten, the more I've switched over to doing more audiobooks.
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And also when I was in corporate and traveled all the time, I started moving to ebooks and audio books because I could take I could take 10 of those with me and it wasn't filling up an extra suitcase.
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Yeah, that definitely is.
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Kindles are nice.
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I I kind of like for me.
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It takes me a long time to read a book, uh, but I will.
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I can listen to audio book, audiobook, but then I like to take a note so I end up buying both.
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Yeah, it's like I like being able to look back and look at the notes and stuff like that.
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So there's actually many books where I have an electronic version with notes in it.
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I have a hard copy version on the shelf that has notes in it and I have the audiobook version that I'll listen to as well, so if it's really a good book and I've gotten a lot of impact.
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I end up with three copies of it, more often than not.
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That's awesome.
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Do authors ever I wonder if they ever thought like, hey, somebody might actually buy all three versions of this book?
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Oh, sure, yeah.
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It happens, I mean it's definitely something that well, and hard copying electronic or hard copying audiobook is not nowadays is not uncommon at all anymore.
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Yeah, that makes sense well, that's, that's cool.
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Yeah, well, I knew mrs killer b was gonna love just that statement.
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She's like okay, we got the whole show, just like that.
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Books, you know, we can change your lives.
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Uh, my brothers will tell you it definitely will.
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Because, like she, when we moved to a, we moved to like a, a three story house, and all the way up in the attics.
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That's where she wanted her library.
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So and she had how many I don't know how many books you have.
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They were carrying all these books.
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Yeah, it was a beautiful loft with windows and bench seats and like window seats.
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It was absolutely gorgeous.
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It was going to be my homeschool room, so, yeah, I had hundreds and hundreds of books.
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That's where I wanted them.
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Then it turns out it was like a house that was built in like 1896, I believe and so of course, it's not that big of a surprise that it wasn't heated or cooled, and so there was basically no time we could be up there and it would be comfortable, so all my books sat up there alone.
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I would just have to go up and get the ones I needed.
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So, yeah, they moved all those books up there for absolutely no reason or things.
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Changed their lives, definitely changed their lives.
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We still hear them complain about the hernia surgery.
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You know how that goes.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Yeah, they still talk about that.
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That was a long time ago.
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Yes, they still talk about that.
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That was a long time ago.
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Yes, they do.
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Well, Scott, can you take us back to that, to that moment of your financial pain and your personal crisis, like, what was that season like and how did it become a turning point in your life?
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Absolutely so.
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My wife and I were married.
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I was a school teacher at the time, so this is back in the days when I was still teaching school full time and at that time I was really involved in science fairs and because of that I ended up staying long hours after school working with the kids or working on projects and then I would basically drive home late at night.
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My wife and I lived at that time out in the middle of nowhere, so we lived an hour from everything.
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I drove two hours to go to an hour from everything.
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I drove two hours to go to school, to work.
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I drove an hour to go to the grocery store.
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You know, when I say we lived out in the country, we lived out in the country and it was a long, windy road home and at the time we were building a house, we were going through a lot of other things and we had about 50, some odd thousand dollars in debt and at that time I made about $40,000 a year.
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So you know, I'm basically have more debt than we had money.
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We had just gotten pregnant with our son she's expecting and I began to feel like I think a lot of men do that.
00:15:21.461 --> 00:15:25.351
You know I wasn't doing a good job as a provider, I wasn't taking care of my family.
00:15:25.351 --> 00:15:42.392
You know, here we have this debt, here we have I'm not making any money, I'm not able to give my family the things that they need or they want, and I fell into a pretty, pretty dark place, pretty deep depression, and because of that I began to have thoughts of basically taking my own life.
00:15:49.480 --> 00:15:53.572
I'd hatched this plan to drive the car off of a cliff on the windy road so that it would look like I'd just fallen asleep and insurance would pay out, and all that.
00:15:53.572 --> 00:15:55.847
I've learned things since about how insurance works.
00:15:55.847 --> 00:15:59.308
And it turns out I'm glad I didn't know this at the time, but it turns out.
00:15:59.308 --> 00:16:00.451
It would have paid out regardless.
00:16:00.451 --> 00:16:08.586
But I had this plan because I figured that would give us enough money that my wife could pay off the debt, she could take care of the son and she'd be fine.
00:16:08.586 --> 00:16:17.822
And my wife will tell you that I'm an idiot because you know, obviously she would rather have me than the money from a life insurance policy.
00:16:17.861 --> 00:16:31.052
But at the time that's not, that's not how I felt, that's not how I was processing it, that's not the thoughts that were going on in my head and because of that, you know, I kind of kept spiraling and getting darker and darker.
00:16:31.052 --> 00:16:41.511
They changed the radio lineup, so I used to listen to talk radio on the way home, not because I like talk radio, but because hearing someone talking would keep me awake and the music would put me to sleep.
00:16:42.052 --> 00:16:45.216
So I was listening to talk radio, just because that would keep me awake.
00:16:45.216 --> 00:16:49.659
They changed the lineup and they put on at the time the Dave Ramsey show.
00:16:50.101 --> 00:16:51.287
I had never heard this before.
00:16:51.287 --> 00:16:57.168
And here are these idiots talking about getting out of debt and changing their lives and financial free.
00:16:57.168 --> 00:16:59.966
You know all of these things and I'm like yelling at the radio.
00:16:59.966 --> 00:17:01.384
You know, nobody can live like this.
00:17:01.384 --> 00:17:02.207
What are you talking about?
00:17:02.207 --> 00:17:12.715
And I realized after listening to it a couple of nights that this was the first time in weeks where I was not thinking about ending my life.
00:17:12.715 --> 00:17:21.706
But I was literally arguing with the radio about whether or not you could do what they were talking about on the radio and because of that I was like, well, wait a minute, maybe there is something to this.
00:17:21.706 --> 00:17:25.730
You know, maybe this message is being put in my life for a reason and I need to listen to it.
00:17:26.859 --> 00:17:48.113
And one of the things that was said on the show by one of the guests one day was that they had kind of had a similar situation and their first step was to come clean to their wife, to talk to their wife and say you know, hey, this is what's going on, because, see, I was being a good husband, good father, I was protecting my wife, right, I wasn't telling her any of this stuff because I'm going to, I'm going to protect her from it.
00:17:48.113 --> 00:17:55.583
By the way, my wife knew all of this was going on, because my wife was a smart woman, but she wasn't.
00:17:55.583 --> 00:17:58.886
She didn't want to bring it up because I was not bringing it up and she didn't want to make it worse on me.
00:17:58.886 --> 00:18:04.314
So at the end of the day, I finally, after a week of this, I went to my wife and I said look, here's what's going on.
00:18:04.314 --> 00:18:06.576
We're deeply in debt, don't know if we can turn this around.
00:18:06.576 --> 00:18:09.281
I've been having these, these thoughts and these feelings.
00:18:09.281 --> 00:18:12.971
I started listening to this show and she goes you mean the Dave Ramsey show.
00:18:12.971 --> 00:18:18.561
It turned out her and her dad were listening to it during the day and I'm listening to the rebroadcast at night.
00:18:18.561 --> 00:18:21.347
And she's like, oh well, yeah, we can do this.
00:18:21.347 --> 00:18:24.571
And you sure she's like, yeah, we can do this.
00:18:25.051 --> 00:18:28.394
So we basically just kind of completely revamped how we lived.
00:18:28.394 --> 00:18:31.497
We ended up paying off at.
00:18:31.497 --> 00:18:34.618
By the way I mentioned, I had over $50,000 of debt.
00:18:34.618 --> 00:18:47.648
We ended up paying off $78,000 in debt before we got out of debt because in the middle I changed jobs and had two emergency surgeries and we ended up with extra medical debt and so basically, you know, things piled on when you're getting out of debt.
00:18:47.648 --> 00:18:55.183
But we in that journey, for two years, 11 months, we lived on nothing and ended up paying off $78,000 worth of debt.
00:18:55.183 --> 00:18:58.338
You know, since then we've done quite well.
00:18:58.338 --> 00:19:00.878
You know my income's come up.
00:19:00.878 --> 00:19:02.375
I work with the clients.
00:19:02.375 --> 00:19:04.155
Now I'm able to do what I love to do.
00:19:04.155 --> 00:19:05.516
We have no debt of any sort.
00:19:05.516 --> 00:19:12.795
We own our own house, we own all our own vehicles all of that and we live now just in a way that's very, very different than we did before.
00:19:12.795 --> 00:19:31.020
Now I still fight depression I mean, that's something that is always going to be part of my life but at the same time, that that financial weight that was crushing me has been able to be lifted, and I think in large part because of that I'm able to be lifted and, and I think in large part because of that I'm able to live in a way that's that's different than
00:19:31.040 --> 00:19:31.321
we did before.
00:19:31.342 --> 00:19:33.789
Wow, that's powerful, that's that is very powerful, you know your.
00:19:33.789 --> 00:19:47.516
Your story is very, very interesting too because, uh, me and mrs killer b, I think some people here know this but like we went through a time during the economy crash and, uh, well, actually that was before the economy crash, wasn't it before?
00:19:47.516 --> 00:19:50.202
The economy crash was during the big housing market thing.
00:19:50.903 --> 00:20:06.855
The housing market thing, yep 2008, we lost our first house and, uh, we got in a bad loan and we wasn't you know we, you know we were just taking money, like where we whatever you call it like you know refinancing and all that, and got an adjustable rate, all that thing.
00:20:06.855 --> 00:20:08.378
But anyways, we were in a bad situation.
00:20:08.378 --> 00:20:13.612
I was listening to dave ramsey at my job and I'm like man, like what are we gonna do?
00:20:13.612 --> 00:20:21.900
I had no idea she was listening to dave ramsey at the house and she actually was calling in and talking to them and I was I didn't even know.
00:20:21.900 --> 00:20:29.031
And she talked to them and found out like you guys, you guys don't have a, you guys need to get out of the house because there's just no way we're going to be able to do it.
00:20:29.092 --> 00:20:37.037
And it was so interesting that when I'd come home, she'd be like I was like I was listening to the show Dave Ramsey, and she's like I actually talked to them.
00:20:37.037 --> 00:20:38.080
I called them like what?
00:20:38.080 --> 00:20:40.951
So it's interesting how that can happen.
00:20:40.951 --> 00:20:45.954
So so, have you ever been to the Ramsey's Place?
00:20:45.954 --> 00:20:47.457
Have you ever been to Ramsey's?
00:20:47.497 --> 00:20:47.957
Place Actually.
00:20:47.957 --> 00:20:53.681
Yeah, we've been there several times so we actually have taught FPU back in the day.
00:20:53.681 --> 00:20:56.423
We don't do it anymore, we've kind of moved into other things.
00:20:56.423 --> 00:20:59.585
But we got to have dinner with them, had an award with them.
00:20:59.585 --> 00:21:02.247
I actually was going to be hired there at one time.
00:21:02.247 --> 00:21:08.281
I ended up passing on the position and now going into the coaching and I'm kind of glad I did.
00:21:08.281 --> 00:21:12.561
But, yeah, we've gotten to spend quite a bit of time there.
00:21:12.561 --> 00:21:13.952
I've still got friends that work there.
00:21:13.952 --> 00:21:16.278
That's so cool.
00:21:17.099 --> 00:21:18.001
That's awesome.
00:21:18.001 --> 00:21:18.722
That's awesome.
00:21:18.722 --> 00:21:21.179
Yeah, they're a great, great group of people to work with.
00:21:21.179 --> 00:21:26.280
We've got some friends that work there too, and so did you get to do the debt-free scream then?
00:21:26.970 --> 00:21:27.351
We did.
00:21:27.351 --> 00:21:35.914
We called in on January 6th of 2009 and did our debt free scream, that's amazing.
00:21:36.671 --> 00:21:38.017
I have to admit it's so emotional.
00:21:38.230 --> 00:21:39.977
I love listening to that on the radio.
00:21:39.977 --> 00:21:42.015
It's every single time I cry.
00:21:42.015 --> 00:21:43.279
It doesn't even matter.
00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:50.579
You know, I've never heard of these people ever in my life before, but it's just so beautiful to you know, hear someone tell their story like that.
00:21:51.541 --> 00:22:22.717
And I like, I thank you for sharing that too, as a man, because I think that going through a situation like that it's for us guys it's very easy to to hide that and hide that, that weight that you're carrying, and that you're open to share, and talk about the dark moments of where you started going with your thoughts and your minds thinking that it would be better for your family if you weren't here, so that was the only way you could provide for them.
00:22:22.717 --> 00:22:29.099
And so, as we go through this, would you say that's you like?
00:22:29.099 --> 00:22:31.644
How did you find your purpose during all this?
00:22:31.644 --> 00:22:37.699
Was it because of the Dave Ramsey show that you're listening to, or Well, that was part of it, but it's not.
00:22:38.630 --> 00:22:43.700
So first off, let me kind of talk a little bit about when I say purpose or calling.
00:22:43.700 --> 00:22:50.717
You know and I love the word calling the idea of a call right is it has to be something calls to you.
00:22:50.717 --> 00:22:53.406
It's from outside of you or bigger than you.
00:22:53.406 --> 00:22:56.740
You know now, I'm a person of faith, so I believe that that's God.
00:22:56.740 --> 00:23:02.439
But again, I don't care what language you put around it, it's just the idea that there's something bigger than you are.
00:23:02.439 --> 00:23:09.641
So the word vocation that we kind of use interchangeably to mean the thing that we do, like our career and our vocation.
00:23:09.641 --> 00:23:11.263
We use those words like they're the same thing.
00:23:11.263 --> 00:23:13.176
Truth is they're not the same thing.
00:23:13.176 --> 00:23:16.179
Vocation comes from the word vocalization.
00:23:16.179 --> 00:23:21.398
It means to be called, where career actually comes from the word for cart.
00:23:21.398 --> 00:23:24.198
It's something that gets you from point A to point B.
00:23:25.590 --> 00:23:27.898
It's something that transports you or moves you.
00:23:27.898 --> 00:23:32.560
So when we think about our career, it's what we do to get paid, okay.
00:23:32.560 --> 00:23:38.423
And then when we think about our calling, our calling or our purpose is bigger and deeper than that.
00:23:38.423 --> 00:23:44.119
Now, it may show up in what you do to get paid and obviously, if it can, that's a wonderful thing.
00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:49.833
But it also shows up when you know how you're a parent.
00:23:49.833 --> 00:24:02.932
It shows up in how you're a brother or sister or son or a daughter or husband or a wife or a friend, or what it shows up in all of the different roles and responsibilities that you take on in some level or form.
00:24:03.073 --> 00:24:25.597
And what I like to say is the what you can do is begin to intentionally design your life where more and more of the stuff that you do aligns with that deeper purpose or passion or calling or driver, I tell people, you start to recognize it when you do something and it's like that's the thing that you're doing and it's like time disappears.
00:24:25.597 --> 00:24:27.228
You know it's like this is I could do this all day long.
00:24:27.228 --> 00:24:28.755
You know it's like this is I could do this all day long.
00:24:28.755 --> 00:24:29.195
You know I.
00:24:29.195 --> 00:24:30.858
This gives me energy.
00:24:30.858 --> 00:24:31.500
I get done.
00:24:31.500 --> 00:24:35.076
I get off a coaching call and I'm like, ooh, send me five more clients like that.
00:24:35.076 --> 00:24:35.959
That was a blast.
00:24:35.959 --> 00:24:36.621
You know I want to do.
00:24:36.730 --> 00:24:41.595
I want to keep doing this you know, and there were moments in my corporate job where they were the same things.
00:24:41.595 --> 00:24:47.801
I would meet with leaders and I was developing leaders and I was solving problems, and you know it's like, wow, this is fun, you know.
00:24:47.801 --> 00:25:00.644
And when I was a teacher, there were parts of my teaching job that fed that part, and so I always think of finding your calling is sort of like peeling back the layers of an onion or that, or parfait, if you'd rather the Shrek reference.
00:25:00.684 --> 00:25:08.555
You know, that kind of thing, You're digging in and you're kind of trying to peel it back, but I don't think you ever arrive there.
00:25:08.954 --> 00:25:21.665
It's a journey, it's not a destination, you know, and the idea is to kind of keep layering it on so you can do more and more and be more authentic and more aligned, but I don't know that it ever gets perfect.
00:25:21.665 --> 00:25:22.626
You know what I mean.
00:25:22.626 --> 00:25:33.936
For one thing, there's just parts of your day that you have to do stuff that it's just stuff that you have to do.
00:25:33.936 --> 00:25:35.583
You know that the laundry still has to get done, you know the that kind of thing.
00:25:35.583 --> 00:25:39.233
But the more of your day that gives are the parts that give you that energy, that purpose, that drive, the better it is.
00:25:39.233 --> 00:25:45.914
So for me, discovering it was actually a process of sitting down and doing some internal work.
00:25:45.914 --> 00:25:50.597
So I'll give folks two quick exercises, and these are things that you can actually do yourself.
00:25:50.597 --> 00:26:00.053
One is to sit down and take a sheet of paper and divide it into three columns, so the left-hand side, the middle and the right-hand side, and down the left-hand side.
00:26:00.053 --> 00:26:09.943
Just begin to brainstorm everything you've ever done, and I don't just mean career or jobs or things you got paid for, I mean everything you've done, you know, be as broad and as general as you can.
00:26:09.943 --> 00:26:12.633
That time you were a camp counselor when you were 13,.
00:26:12.692 --> 00:26:20.720
You know the when you're when you're able to do listen to certain books, or when you're out in the garden and working with the plants all of the different things that you do.
00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:27.642
And then in the second column, next to each of those things, write down what you love about that thing.
00:26:27.642 --> 00:26:30.534
What is it that gives you joy, what is it that gives you energy?
00:26:30.534 --> 00:26:35.753
And then, in the last column, write down what you don't love about that activity.
00:26:35.753 --> 00:26:39.182
What are the things that drain energy from you, that don't bring you joy?
00:26:39.790 --> 00:26:40.955
And the idea is to do this.
00:26:40.955 --> 00:26:57.932
This is one of those exercises that you can spend a week on it, you can spend a month on it, you can keep coming back to it and then, when you sit down, you begin to look for patterns, look for the things that keep showing up that give you joy and give you energy, look for the things that keep showing up that take energy away from you.
00:26:57.932 --> 00:27:04.817
And then start thinking now, how can I move my life in a direction where I get to do more of the love column and less of the hate column.
00:27:04.817 --> 00:27:07.682
You know what is it that I can do to move that direction?
00:27:07.682 --> 00:27:34.259
And because of that, if you do those sorts of exercises, then you begin to be more intentional in seeking out and aligning your calendar, your relationships, your finances, your, all of these other components of your life in a way that begins to be more authentic to that deeper purpose and calling that is so helpful I've never heard that talked about before.
00:27:34.298 --> 00:27:35.162
That's really smart.
00:27:38.151 --> 00:27:39.133
I'm kind of concerned now.
00:27:39.153 --> 00:27:46.816
Scott, I'm kind of concerned, Scott, because now I have a feeling that Mrs Killer Bee me well, luckily Arcane's not here because I think all of us are going to put.
00:27:46.816 --> 00:27:55.856
Doing laundry is something that we don't love doing, so none of us is going to do laundry you just buy new clothes all the time, you'll be fine.
00:27:56.157 --> 00:27:56.558
That's right.
00:27:56.598 --> 00:27:57.891
Yeah, that's right, or?
00:27:57.891 --> 00:27:59.979
You just hire somebody to do the laundry.
00:27:59.979 --> 00:28:01.894
It's probably cheaper than buying new clothes.
00:28:01.894 --> 00:28:02.858
There you go.
00:28:03.671 --> 00:28:18.031
But that is actually one of those things and I know people that like pay for somebody to come in and cook a meal or prepare, do meal planning or do laundry, and at first people are like, well, that's a waste of money, you can do that yourself.
00:28:18.031 --> 00:28:31.346
And it's like, but no, if they're aligning their money and spending it away, that that gives them a chance to do more of the stuff that's meaningful to them and they can afford it and they can do this responsibly, in a way that doesn't harm anyone, then absolutely go do that.
00:28:31.346 --> 00:28:36.320
You know, don't just suck it up and do what you don't love just because you feel like you have to.
00:28:36.501 --> 00:28:50.663
Yes, Scott, I've done that for several families gone to cook for them, because cooking in general is one of those things that if you hate it, it just drains you even more than most things, because it takes a long time.
00:28:50.663 --> 00:28:54.201
If you don't know what you're doing, then the result isn't even great, you know.
00:28:54.201 --> 00:28:55.853
But yeah, and it's.
00:28:55.853 --> 00:29:04.951
What's great about it for me is that I loved going into their homes and cooking for them and it was life giving to me and then it was life giving to them that they didn't have to.
00:29:05.731 --> 00:29:11.196
Right Exactly, and that's where you find those opportunities to align and, you know, find the.
00:29:11.196 --> 00:29:23.226
So that's delegating right, an activity, and we talk about that in the business world, but a lot of times people don't think about that in their personal life and it's like, no, you could set up, you can do things creatively, you know.
00:29:23.446 --> 00:29:24.067
Absolutely.
00:29:25.130 --> 00:29:25.732
As well.
00:29:25.732 --> 00:29:31.416
And again, sometimes you do just have to do the hard thing because you don't like to do it and somebody needs to do it and whatever.
00:29:31.416 --> 00:29:41.934
But at the same time, there are a lot of times I've seen people get really creative in finding ways to free up their time to do things that they really authentically love.
00:29:41.934 --> 00:29:53.359
And, like you said a lot of times, you can find it where it's a trade off, where it's like now they're going to they go do something that they love to do for you and you do something that you love to do for them.
00:29:53.359 --> 00:29:59.632
They don't love to do what you love and you don't let you know and everyone wins right, it's a win-win situation.
00:29:59.672 --> 00:30:04.900
But you got to get creative and you've got to talk to people and ask questions and communicate and all of those hard things.
00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:07.223
So most of us would rather just sit in our room.
00:30:09.750 --> 00:30:11.473
I think, that's a very important piece.
00:30:11.493 --> 00:30:12.194
Go ahead, Ms Hillary.
00:30:12.375 --> 00:30:16.763
I was just going to say real quick we don't utilize bartering nearly as much as we should in this country.
00:30:16.763 --> 00:30:19.137
I don't think yeah.
00:30:19.269 --> 00:30:20.432
Go ahead.
00:30:20.432 --> 00:30:24.502
It's actually one of the things that I know we're even going through with our business right now.
00:30:24.502 --> 00:30:36.974
There's things that we're evaluating Well, we're even going through with our business right now, like there's things that we're like we're evaluating what are well, I'm evaluating things right now and going through like what are things that are that are taking a lot of time and like there's been shifts happening, you know, if the economy and stuff like that.
00:30:36.974 --> 00:30:40.771
So it was like things we have to, like what are we putting our time, what am I putting my time into?
00:30:40.771 --> 00:30:46.343
That is is kind of draining me and I got to focus on things right now, maybe some of the things like that I love doing.
00:30:46.784 --> 00:30:55.441
I have to step back from a little bit because I have to focus on the things that I don't like doing as much, but I know I have to do this to get over this, this hump, you know.
00:30:55.441 --> 00:31:00.616
So it was like, okay, well, I'm gonna have to press pause on some things and do this, but I have to do that to be able to move forward.
00:31:00.616 --> 00:31:10.084
But there's a lot of things I'm also noticing that in my time are things that just really are just draining.
00:31:10.084 --> 00:31:19.842
And, mrs Killer Bee, what is it called again, what you're having me kind of look at right now, that that's called about the looking at all Like what is more important to you time or money or something like that.
00:31:20.330 --> 00:31:34.221
I think that's basically like if you're trying to grow your business, you know, usually you either need more time or you need more money, and so you can't chase both at the same time, so you have to choose one or the other to focus on at first.
00:31:34.221 --> 00:31:39.321
So that's what we've kind of been talking about, like he needs to focus on his time.
00:31:39.481 --> 00:32:04.853
first, I need to focus on my time, yeah, cause it's like I was like I know where we're going, but if I don't take the time to sit down and look at what is taking on my time and like, for instance, like with me personally I don't like doing a lot of social media, so just because I don't see like like I love using it for personal use but for business, it drains me and it's like I don't feel like it's worth the effort for what I do.
00:32:04.853 --> 00:32:09.356
And then I'm like you know, I've got to look at that and say, well, how much time am I putting that?
00:32:09.356 --> 00:32:14.480
That would give me some freedom to be able to focus on the other things that I need to focus on.
00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:17.222
So, yeah, I think it's an important piece to look at.
00:32:17.242 --> 00:32:32.021
But what I really love, what you just talked about, Scott, and I probably kind of rabbit trail there, but I liked how you were talking about your calling in your career, especially how you were explaining the difference between them.
00:32:32.021 --> 00:32:47.789
I really appreciate you sharing that because that was a pretty big eye-opener right there, because I think a lot of times I for myself have looked at calling as a destination and it's like you've got to reach this destination of your calling.
00:32:47.789 --> 00:32:51.578
But that was beautifully said about how your calling can.
00:32:51.578 --> 00:32:56.859
You probably are never going to reach that destination because it's going to change and it I like.
00:32:56.859 --> 00:32:57.971
I really appreciate you sharing that.
00:32:57.971 --> 00:33:02.768
That really opened up my eyes a lot when you said that so it has to evolve.
00:33:02.868 --> 00:33:06.257
Because you evolve, you know you change um.
00:33:06.257 --> 00:33:08.261
You know things in your life change.
00:33:08.261 --> 00:33:10.011
My wife and I are empty nesters.
00:33:10.011 --> 00:33:11.055
Now you know.
00:33:11.055 --> 00:33:12.739
Guess what Things?
00:33:13.019 --> 00:33:14.603
there's options that we have now.
00:33:14.623 --> 00:33:20.731
It's like we went to like five concerts, you know, last year, and, and, and went and saw all these different bands that we haven't.
00:33:20.991 --> 00:33:29.732
We haven't been to a concert in a decade you know, because we've had a kid, you know and's it's a time thing, it's a money thing, it's a you know all of those things.
00:33:29.833 --> 00:33:33.402
But it's like, oh yeah, wait, we, we could actually do this.
00:33:33.402 --> 00:33:38.766
You know, we, we used to love going to listen to music and go to con huh, you know it, wow.
00:33:38.766 --> 00:33:43.576
But it was funny because for the first couple of years, you know, he moved out and we didn't do it.
00:33:43.576 --> 00:33:47.241
We just kind of kept living the same way as if he was home.
00:33:47.241 --> 00:33:53.279
And then all of a sudden it dawned on us huh, wait, a minute, things are actually different now.
00:33:53.279 --> 00:33:55.432
We can do things differently, you know.
00:33:55.432 --> 00:34:03.378
So we had to sit down and have that conversation and say what would you like to do now that you know David's not here 24 seven?
00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:05.242
you know what would you like to do.
00:34:08.409 --> 00:34:09.172
What would we like to do different?
00:34:09.172 --> 00:34:11.297
And so that was actually my wife's like I want to go to see some bands again.
00:34:11.297 --> 00:34:13.260
I'm all right, we can do that.
00:34:13.942 --> 00:34:16.896
And so we made sure we went and saw bands that year.
00:34:16.896 --> 00:34:19.221
So we have these things where we can sit down.
00:34:19.221 --> 00:34:20.592
And then we recently moved.
00:34:20.592 --> 00:34:26.863
You know that was a big decision that we made that we were able to do because we moved from that place.
00:34:26.863 --> 00:34:28.532
I was talking about living out in the middle of nowhere.
00:34:28.532 --> 00:34:37.938
We now live in a community of about 300,000 folks, so we went from no grocery stores for an hour to four grocery stores within 15 minutes.
00:34:37.938 --> 00:34:39.742
So it's kind of a big change for us.
00:34:39.742 --> 00:34:44.101
But at the same time, it's that idea of thinking about it and talking about it and going.
00:34:44.101 --> 00:34:56.855
Well, we can be there and live a little differently and do things that we want to do, because we have that option now, but being intentional about it, yeah it's good, that's really good.
00:34:57.556 --> 00:34:58.719
I see that we have a question.
00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:01.552
Let's go ahead and bring up uh, let's bring up the q a mike.
00:35:01.552 --> 00:35:02.675
Let's bring up yvonne.
00:35:02.675 --> 00:35:04.039
Yvonne, come down.
00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:07.266
I think your shirt says brat on it.
00:35:07.286 --> 00:35:08.510
I don't know if you see that it does say brat.
00:35:10.875 --> 00:35:12.740
Welcome to the Killer Bee Studios brat.
00:35:14.931 --> 00:35:18.215
I think you pretty much already answered one of my questions.
00:35:18.215 --> 00:35:27.286
My question was what's the first small step that you think somebody could take if they're feeling uninspired or disconnected from their purpose?
00:35:27.309 --> 00:35:31.909
somebody could take if they're feeling uninspired or disconnected from their purpose.
00:35:31.909 --> 00:35:42.302
Yeah, the exercise I gave earlier is one of them, just because I think a lot of times we feel like we feel disconnected because we haven't actually stopped and thought about what is the purpose.
00:35:42.302 --> 00:35:46.858
In a way, that's actually hard work, if that makes sense.
00:35:46.858 --> 00:35:52.077
It's self-work, it's introspective work and we don't usually create that.
00:35:52.077 --> 00:36:02.822
So in part it's doing exercises like that, but let me go even more granular it's creating the space in your day to be able to do that kind of thinking.
00:36:02.822 --> 00:36:17.099
Because my guess is for most of us here and you can throw up confetti if this fits to you you know you get up in the morning and you're just kind of running and gunning all day long, going from task to task, fire to fire, emergency to emergency.
00:36:17.099 --> 00:36:19.873
You know getting things done and you're very busy.
00:36:19.873 --> 00:36:27.219
But at the end of the day you kind of look back and go huh, I was busy today, but did I actually do anything that matters?
00:36:27.219 --> 00:36:28.802
I mean, does that apply?
00:36:30.753 --> 00:36:32.436
to more, more than just me.
00:36:33.117 --> 00:36:35.603
Not all the time, necessarily, but a lot of days you do.
00:36:35.603 --> 00:36:39.423
And so it's it's actually sitting down and looking at your day and going.
00:36:39.423 --> 00:36:50.110
You know I'm going to find 15 minutes for me, I'm going to find 10 minutes for me to create some white space and actually be quiet.
00:36:50.110 --> 00:37:09.641
And this is without your phone, without your computer, without the TV on, without the audio books, without the radio, and just be and think and process and meditate, because a lot of times we don't create that space for ourselves and that's where that busy run and gun feeling comes from.
00:37:11.510 --> 00:37:15.461
So you're talking about the busy and the right things.
00:37:15.461 --> 00:37:17.858
What's the difference between busy?
00:37:17.858 --> 00:37:19.251
How do you like?
00:37:19.251 --> 00:37:24.842
Maybe you can talk to us a little bit more about that, like the difference between being busy and doing the right thing.
00:37:25.543 --> 00:37:27.637
Yeah, so one of the things in the book that I talk about is there is a difference between just being busy and doing the right thing.
00:37:27.594 --> 00:37:38.751
Yeah, so one of the things in the book that I talk about is there is a difference between just being busy and being productive, and I use the word productive for doing the things that actually matter, that move the needle, and so I'll give you an example.
00:37:38.751 --> 00:37:40.938
I can actually prove it to everybody.
00:37:40.938 --> 00:38:01.632
Imagine for a minute that I hired you and I said I'm going to pay you a hundred dollars a day to go into my backyard and I've got a pile of rocks on the left-hand side of my yard and your job is to pick up a rock, walk to the right-hand side of my yard, put the rock down and do that all day long until you've moved all of the rocks.
00:38:01.632 --> 00:38:06.778
And once you've moved all the rocks to the right side, now your job is to pick them up and move them back to the left side.
00:38:06.778 --> 00:38:09.202
You just do that all day long.
00:38:09.202 --> 00:38:10.744
I'll give you a hundred dollars to do that.
00:38:10.744 --> 00:38:11.905
Would you be busy?
00:38:13.409 --> 00:38:13.731
Yes.
00:38:14.152 --> 00:38:16.858
You know that's a busy day, right, that's a busy day.
00:38:16.858 --> 00:38:18.202
You moved rocks all day long?
00:38:18.202 --> 00:38:22.552
Would you argue that you've been at all productive or created value?
00:38:22.552 --> 00:38:24.014
Would you feel you know?
00:38:24.795 --> 00:38:25.215
valuable.
00:38:25.215 --> 00:38:26.396
Why am I doing this right?
00:38:26.396 --> 00:38:27.396
Why am I doing this?
00:38:27.396 --> 00:38:27.737
Yeah?
00:38:28.018 --> 00:38:33.561
And in fact, if I was going to pay you $100, it was $100, you probably wouldn't do it too long.
00:38:33.561 --> 00:38:45.373
You know, you might do it for a little while, but at some point you're like dude, there's got to be something better than this and in fact I probably could pay you even more than $100.
00:38:45.373 --> 00:38:47.057
And there's still going to be a point where you're just like I can't.
00:38:47.057 --> 00:38:48.239
All I'm doing is moving rocks.
00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:49.342
I can't do this anymore.
00:38:49.342 --> 00:38:50.543
This is, this is horrible.
00:38:50.543 --> 00:38:54.538
It doesn't bring me any meaning or value or authenticity.
00:38:54.538 --> 00:38:55.219
It's just money.
00:38:55.219 --> 00:38:57.050
So that's busy, right?
00:38:57.050 --> 00:39:07.987
You're doing a lot of stuff and we've kind of turned it into a badge of honor in this country where we it's the knee jerkerk answer yeah, hey, how you doing, I'm busy.
00:39:07.987 --> 00:39:13.380
That's what we say, and we say like it's a good thing, it's like actually that's not a good thing.
00:39:13.380 --> 00:39:16.215
That just means you did a lot of stuff it speaks.
00:39:16.235 --> 00:39:38.938
You know it's interesting you say that the value of the stuff I think that, like I think that a lot of times, if people, if if people act like they're, if they say they're not busy, they feel like they're lazy, right, it's like, it's like a whole mind shift, like we have to change our whole mindset here on what this looks like lazy is not actually about how much you do.
00:39:39.400 --> 00:39:49.393
It's more about how you're driven to do, and, and what I mean by that is, you know, when you're, when you, when you're lazy, you don't have the, the drive or the motivation.
00:39:50.335 --> 00:39:54.833
By the way, motivation actually comes from activity, not from.
00:39:54.833 --> 00:39:58.360
So there there's a degree to which we'll think about it again.
00:39:58.360 --> 00:39:59.349
We've all done this, you know.
00:39:59.349 --> 00:40:01.855
You're like ah, I really don't want to do the laundry today.
00:40:01.855 --> 00:40:03.016
I really don't want to do that.
00:40:03.016 --> 00:40:05.621
Well, I'll just move it into the laundry room.
00:40:05.621 --> 00:40:12.672
And if all you do is pick up the basket and move it into the laundry room, it's like, well, I might as well go ahead and throw it in the washer.
00:40:12.672 --> 00:40:20.847
And now, all of a sudden, you get it done because you just took that one little small step and now you're motivated, because the motivation doesn't come first.
00:40:20.847 --> 00:40:22.351
The motivation actually comes second.
00:40:23.094 --> 00:40:28.123
So productive is when you sit down and you say, ok, look, look, let's look at my day.
00:40:28.123 --> 00:40:35.244
What are the things that I need to do and to put into my day and say yes to that are the most important things.
00:40:35.244 --> 00:40:41.432
And then when you run out of time by the way, this works for money too when you run out of time.
00:40:41.432 --> 00:40:43.418
Ok, these are the things I'm going to say no to.
00:40:43.418 --> 00:40:53.021
I'm going to say no to Because, more often than not, most of us have filled our day with tons of things that we've said yes to that really and truly, you should have said no to.
00:40:53.021 --> 00:40:57.179
They're not important to you, they don't move the needle, they're not important.
00:40:57.179 --> 00:41:02.833
You've just said yes to it out of some sort of obligation or habit or routine.
00:41:02.833 --> 00:41:03.833
That really doesn't provide value.
00:41:03.833 --> 00:41:05.655
That really doesn't provide value.
00:41:05.655 --> 00:41:07.617
It's most of us.
00:41:07.617 --> 00:41:19.126
You know, if I say most of us check our phone tons of times a day, literally as I say that, there are people that will reach for their phone, like as they hear the words I check my phone come out of my mouth.
00:41:19.126 --> 00:41:20.708
It reflectively, it's a habit.
00:41:20.708 --> 00:41:27.382
I've got to check my phone, you know, and they're going to look at their phone right now because it becomes a knee-jerk reflex.
00:41:27.382 --> 00:41:28.284
It becomes a habit.
00:41:28.284 --> 00:41:29.692
They don't examine that.
00:41:29.731 --> 00:41:33.411
So you're talking about earlier sitting down and figuring out where you're spending your time.
00:41:33.411 --> 00:41:41.880
This is sitting down and actually going where do you spend your time and then saying, hmm, what are the things on this list that I need to say no to?
00:41:41.880 --> 00:41:47.358
That I'm currently saying yes to, so that I can say yes to the things that really matter.
00:41:47.358 --> 00:41:51.753
And one simple trick that you can use is just change your language.
00:41:51.753 --> 00:41:55.090
You're no longer allowed to say I don't have time to do that.
00:41:55.090 --> 00:41:58.036
Whatever it is, I don't have time to do that.
00:41:58.036 --> 00:42:01.123
Take I don't have time, out of your vocabulary.
00:42:01.123 --> 00:42:05.617
Instead, you have to say that's not a priority for me.
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:07.860
Here's why that works.
00:42:07.860 --> 00:42:17.873
Imagine for a minute you're at work and you say to your coworker you know, I really wanted to make my daughter's dance recital tonight, but I just don't have time.
00:42:17.873 --> 00:42:19.536
They're going to go.
00:42:19.536 --> 00:42:24.916
Oh, you know poor, you right, you know you don't have time to go to your daughter's dance recital.
00:42:24.916 --> 00:42:32.262
But if instead you say to your coworker you know what I really wanted to go to my daughter's dance recital tonight, but that's just not a priority for me.
00:42:32.262 --> 00:42:38.711
Would your coworker look at you and be like dude, really, what do you mean?
00:42:38.711 --> 00:42:39.896
That's not a priority for you.
00:42:39.896 --> 00:42:41.913
Go to the recital you know it would.
00:42:42.414 --> 00:42:45.097
And, by the way, internally it changes the way you look at it too.
00:42:45.097 --> 00:43:00.715
All of a sudden it's like, wait, really, I'm going to say out loud that's not a priority to have date night with my wife, that's not a priority to spend time with my kid, that's not a priority to do these, of course that's a priority for you.
00:43:00.715 --> 00:43:15.155
And so then, all of a sudden it's like, well then, now how can I arrange my life so that I do have that time to go do that thing that is a priority, by saying no to other things that aren't, aren't really the, the, the most important thing, wow.
00:43:15.516 --> 00:43:16.217
That's good.
00:43:16.798 --> 00:43:19.523
That reminds me of that exercise you do with the.
00:43:19.523 --> 00:43:21.733
Uh, the different size rocks in a jar.
00:43:21.733 --> 00:43:22.918
Have you ever seen that before?
00:43:22.938 --> 00:43:35.896
Yeah, yeah, stephen Covey uh, does an exercise where he puts the rocks in the jar and the idea is, if you put the big rocks in first, then there's room to fill the jar with sand or gravel or smaller rocks.
00:43:35.896 --> 00:43:46.719
But if you try to put the small rocks in first and then shove the big rocks in, they don't fit, and that's the idea of you put in first the things that are most important, say yes first, no second.
00:43:47.342 --> 00:43:48.626
Same thing happens with budgets.
00:43:48.626 --> 00:43:53.170
The reason people don't like money budgets is because they're like, oh, the budget just tells me all the stuff I can't do.
00:43:53.170 --> 00:43:54.452
I'm like, no, it doesn't.
00:43:54.452 --> 00:43:56.056
The budget tells you what you can do.
00:43:56.056 --> 00:44:05.742
Put down in the budget what's most important to you first, and then, when you get to the stuff that's not that important, you're like, well, that really didn't matter anyway.
00:44:06.050 --> 00:44:10.760
You know it wasn't the most important thing to me, it's OK for me to not have that or not do that.
00:44:10.760 --> 00:44:25.025
You know, if trips are important to you, budget for trips, you know, put that in your, in your plan and actually set money aside for it and then go on the trip and don't have guilt because of it right, that's good that's good, awesome.
00:44:25.085 --> 00:44:26.706
All right, I got another question here.
00:44:26.706 --> 00:44:27.547
Let's bring up the mic.
00:44:27.547 --> 00:44:29.307
We have no thumb gamer.
00:44:29.307 --> 00:44:30.387
No thumb gamer.
00:44:30.387 --> 00:44:31.030
Come on down.
00:44:31.030 --> 00:44:32.492
Welcome to killer b studios.
00:44:32.492 --> 00:44:40.726
Thanks for joining us I love the name yeah isn't that awesome hello I.
00:44:40.985 --> 00:44:48.219
I watched something very recently on youtube called inspired inspired stewardship by travis.
00:44:48.219 --> 00:44:53.675
I think it was an interview with you and travis parry and I had on my show.
00:44:53.675 --> 00:44:59.945
I actually didn't, I didn't piece it together until I heard your voice and I was like that's gotta be him.
00:45:01.570 --> 00:45:03.938
Yeah, that's my inspired, stewardship.
00:45:03.938 --> 00:45:05.001
So thank you for listening.
00:45:05.909 --> 00:45:07.996
Yeah, it was really really good.
00:45:07.996 --> 00:45:08.918
Yeah, it was.
00:45:08.918 --> 00:45:09.961
It was really really good.
00:45:09.961 --> 00:45:11.597
Really insightful, really helpful.
00:45:11.597 --> 00:45:14.389
But I've got a question.
00:45:14.389 --> 00:45:30.425
So if, if you're not currently working, I don't know because of depression, disability or whatever, what would you recommend to somebody to build up the confidence or build up something new so they can go and get a new career?
00:45:32.110 --> 00:45:33.172
Yeah, absolutely.
00:45:33.172 --> 00:45:43.454
I think a lot of us go through these periods where, because of depression, because of disability and other things, and so one one thing is stepping back.
00:45:43.454 --> 00:45:59.990
Earlier, when I talked about the difference between your vocation and your career, I think it's important to realize that you can do things to be productive and make yourself feel useful without necessarily quote having a job or you know, or a career, or getting paid or those sorts of things.
00:45:59.990 --> 00:46:24.063
It's okay to also find ways to add value to other people without necessarily doing quote a job, you know or a career, because at the end of the day, that's really how you start to feel more valued yourself is often by finding ways to give value to others.
00:46:24.063 --> 00:46:26.606
You know finding ways to serve and help other people.
00:46:27.190 --> 00:46:29.237
Now, obviously, you should take care of yourself.
00:46:29.237 --> 00:46:31.797
You need to to take, you know, if you're on medic.
00:46:31.797 --> 00:46:33.260
I'm on medication for depression.
00:46:33.260 --> 00:46:35.277
I need to take my meds, you know we.
00:46:35.277 --> 00:46:37.172
I've gone through therapy, I've done those things.
00:46:37.172 --> 00:46:41.322
So you have to do the things for self-care and self-development.
00:46:41.742 --> 00:46:48.527
But as soon as you get to a point where you're able to kind of move forward, I look for places to invest in others.
00:46:48.527 --> 00:46:51.139
So first invest in yourself, then invest in others.
00:46:51.139 --> 00:47:00.034
Investing in others is finding little things you can do that help the people around you or someone around you, and those folks don't have to be.
00:47:00.034 --> 00:47:01.237
It doesn't have to be a big deal.
00:47:01.237 --> 00:47:03.103
It doesn't have to be a big thing.
00:47:03.103 --> 00:47:05.690
I'll give you a small example.
00:47:05.690 --> 00:47:11.864
Where we live now, on Thursday morning they come and pick up the garbage, and I like to.
00:47:11.864 --> 00:47:19.701
When I go out and get my garbage can and bring it up back to my house, if my neighbor's garbage can is still out there, I'll go drag theirs up to where they belong.
00:47:19.701 --> 00:47:28.282
Sounds like no big deal, right, and don't get me wrong, my neighbors are all healthy and happy and they're able to go get their own garbage can.
00:47:28.282 --> 00:47:40.260
It's not like I'm doing any sort of great service for them, but it's just a little thing I can do and it makes you know, it makes me feel better and it lets them know hey, I care about you and I'm helping, take care of you, and so it's.
00:47:40.521 --> 00:48:09.931
It's little things like that that then begin to add up and give you momentum to do the bigger things, like apply for a new job or find a career or find something else the activity I shared earlier about finding the things you love versus the things you hate is a great way that you can start looking for things that you can do that help other people, because the thing that keeps showing up, that comes natural to you, that's the the no-brainer to use to help other people, because odds are really good.
00:48:09.990 --> 00:48:22.070
You have gifts and things that you're good at, that you're good at them and don't even realize that you're good at them because the people around you you think everybody, this is easy for everybody.
00:48:22.070 --> 00:48:30.257
Everybody knows how to do this, and yet the reality is that no, not everybody does know how to do that and it comes naturally and easy to you.
00:48:30.257 --> 00:48:35.521
And somebody else is over here going man, I cannot believe how easy they make that look.
00:48:35.521 --> 00:48:43.081
And those are oftentimes the things that you can do and they give you meaning, they give you energy, they give that back to you.
00:48:43.081 --> 00:48:44.530
That then lets you move forward.
00:48:46.815 --> 00:48:48.197
Even you know.
00:48:48.197 --> 00:49:04.920
It's interesting to me, like you know, because I've talked to a lot of people about that exact thing where, like even smiling at people in public or praying for people, you think that's no big deal but it makes a huge difference and not everyone has the bandwidth to do either one of those things.
00:49:05.291 --> 00:49:09.001
But like anything that you find that comes easy to you Opening a door for somebody.
00:49:09.001 --> 00:49:11.574
I mean little things, they're not little.
00:49:12.076 --> 00:49:14.101
It's not little, exactly Nothing's little.
00:49:14.101 --> 00:49:15.063
Yeah, I love that.
00:49:16.289 --> 00:49:16.690
Yeah, I love that too.
00:49:16.690 --> 00:49:17.050
Nothing's little.
00:49:17.050 --> 00:49:17.411
Yeah, I love that.
00:49:17.411 --> 00:49:21.474
Yeah, I love that too, because I think that you know really the times that you start really for myself.
00:49:21.474 --> 00:49:32.965
I've gotten in my own head before and even ignored the people around me saying things to me which were actually there to help encourage me and help me realize the value that I had.
00:49:32.965 --> 00:49:35.887
I know that they were placed there by God, but I would even ignore them.
00:49:35.887 --> 00:49:38.177
I'm like, oh no, it's not me.
00:49:38.177 --> 00:49:47.610
Or, you know, I would just blow it off and I would still feel that same way until I got to the point and realized like, wait a minute, they can see in me what I can't see in myself, and that's a beautiful thing.
00:49:47.650 --> 00:50:02.005
When just sharing with somebody, like, hey, I realize you're a really good listener, that goes a lot further than you might realize, because they might be struggling with something internally, thinking that you know I'm not, I'm not a good listener people.
00:50:02.005 --> 00:50:04.306
You know, there's different things like that.
00:50:04.306 --> 00:50:18.438
If you, if we pay attention to it, that God will give somebody else the encouragement to say, and by you not saying it, if you're like I've learned there's been times that God has given me something to say to somebody and I've like I don't, why would I say that?
00:50:18.438 --> 00:50:23.117
Like they don't want to hear that, but then if I did they later on out here, man, I really needed to hear that.
00:50:23.117 --> 00:50:24.081
Thank you so much.
00:50:24.081 --> 00:50:29.855
And that was a blessing to them and that helped fuel what they like, what their purpose is.
00:50:29.855 --> 00:50:33.554
It helps, helps them keep moving forward instead of getting their own thoughts.
00:50:33.554 --> 00:50:38.905
So, uh, like you said, it's not, it doesn't have to be some big, like the little things are big things.
00:50:38.905 --> 00:50:42.371
We just don't realize it so well we don't.
00:50:42.451 --> 00:50:50.385
We don't treat them that way because, again, we kind of you know, we've learned this lesson that everyone has to make the the big splash.
00:50:50.385 --> 00:50:56.978
You know, if, if you can't, if I oh, I'm going to go on a podcast but there's only 20 people listening.
00:50:57.179 --> 00:51:03.918
It's like 20 people is a tremendous number of people you know, or I'm going to go do this, but there's only, there's only two people there.
00:51:03.918 --> 00:51:07.836
So that's two people, you know it's we.
00:51:07.836 --> 00:51:21.244
We'd look at things as if they have to be these massive scales, but then we don't think about the fact that that one person that you held the door, you know you hold the door open for that one person, that actually person that you held the door, you know you hold the door open for that one person that actually may have completely changed the trajectory of their whole day.
00:51:21.244 --> 00:51:29.217
You know, before that moment they may have been in their head, they may have been having dark thoughts, they may have been, you know, feeling bad about themselves and all of that.
00:51:29.217 --> 00:51:44.992
And then you open the door and say, you know, hey, have a great day today, and walk on out the door and they walk in and they're like, wow, you know, somebody did care.
00:51:44.992 --> 00:51:46.355
You know somebody did notice, somebody did say hello.
00:51:46.375 --> 00:51:47.697
Yeah, we go to the, the store, and people have a name badge on.
00:51:47.697 --> 00:51:48.418
Actually call them by their name.
00:51:48.418 --> 00:51:56.809
Yeah, you know how often the cashiers are just, you know, talked to but not actually recognized all day long, and and yet how big it goes to.
00:51:56.809 --> 00:51:58.733
You know, hey, shirley, how are you doing today?
00:51:58.733 --> 00:52:01.378
You know and, and they've got a name tag on.
00:52:01.378 --> 00:52:02.702
They tell you what their name is.
00:52:02.762 --> 00:52:05.954
Just read it, you know, this is not hard and then say it out loud.
00:52:06.356 --> 00:52:28.893
but we don't think about our interactions in that way, because usually because again we're back to that whole same thing we're busy moving through the day trying to just get everything done and and we forget that those little it seems like it's a little thing, but those are the things that really make the big difference, and not only for them.
00:52:28.893 --> 00:52:33.632
They also do it for you, because when they look at you and go, oh, thank you so much.
00:52:33.632 --> 00:52:36.858
You're like oh great, I feel good today.
00:52:36.858 --> 00:52:38.963
You know, that makes me feel better too.
00:52:38.963 --> 00:52:41.514
So it's a win-win situation.
00:52:41.514 --> 00:52:45.523
And yet we've almost trained ourselves out of doing that.
00:52:46.309 --> 00:52:55.239
Yeah, and you're reminded what really matters when things like that happen, because then you kind of snap out of it for a minute and you're like, what have I been doing?
00:52:55.239 --> 00:52:56.351
Like this is what matters.
00:52:56.351 --> 00:53:01.702
People matter, matter, and you know, relationships and making people feel important, that's what matters.
00:53:01.702 --> 00:53:05.275
And so, yeah, it is so good for us to recognize that.
00:53:05.275 --> 00:53:07.344
Yeah, sorry, what were you just talking?
00:53:07.364 --> 00:53:19.480
about and we were just talking about that recently too about how realizing like little things like that, just like what you're talking about it, could affect the rest of their day but, it can even affect an entire generations, like it can affect.
00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:27.110
It can affect how they train their kids like and teach them like to open doors for somebody else, because you opened it for them and it helped them have a better day.
00:53:27.172 --> 00:53:34.112
So then they pass these things on to generations yeah, we really have no idea, like, how far that will go.
00:53:34.112 --> 00:53:39.163
These little acts of kindness like, uh, so that is so such a powerful to think of.
00:53:39.163 --> 00:53:43.137
That's why I I mean, that's why I went by her her shirt name, brat.
00:53:43.137 --> 00:53:46.556
I wanted to call her by her label on her shirt that she was.
00:53:46.556 --> 00:53:48.565
That was her name badge, right, right, brat.
00:53:48.565 --> 00:53:53.195
Yeah, she's throwing confetti for me out there, so I see you.
00:53:53.255 --> 00:53:55.179
I wanted to know if it was truth in advertising.
00:53:55.179 --> 00:53:57.302
So that's all.
00:53:57.884 --> 00:53:58.565
No, it's not.
00:53:58.565 --> 00:54:00.137
She's the sweetest thing in the world.
00:54:01.434 --> 00:54:02.016
Yeah, she is.
00:54:02.016 --> 00:54:05.018
Well, this has been great.
00:54:05.018 --> 00:54:07.418
Thank you so much, Scott, for everything that you've shared with us.
00:54:07.418 --> 00:54:17.304
I want to ask you I know you don't have to get into it because I know we're running close on time but your book also covers like a four-part framework for helping people identify their calling.
00:54:20.570 --> 00:54:21.757
And I'm guessing you touched on that a little bit with the.
00:54:21.757 --> 00:54:21.878
I did.
00:54:21.878 --> 00:54:23.025
I actually shared it earlier, I just didn't call it out.
00:54:23.025 --> 00:54:23.530
That's what I thought.
00:54:24.190 --> 00:54:40.126
So if you guys that was like about like the columns right or the no actually, the four-part framework is that idea that I was just sharing about invest in yourself first, then invest in others, okay, and the other two parts are from that.
00:54:40.126 --> 00:54:45.751
Naturally, if you do those two things, you learn more about who you are, so that column activity would be part of that.
00:54:45.751 --> 00:54:49.559
Then you begin to learn and share and help others.
00:54:49.559 --> 00:55:03.534
Then what ends up happening is naturally from that you're going to develop influence, because it was kind of like what I was talking about when we were going through the weird financial thing and doing all this weird stuff, people started noticing that and coming up and going how did you do that?
00:55:03.534 --> 00:55:06.141
You know what your something's different you know.
00:55:06.141 --> 00:55:06.802
Tell me about that.
00:55:07.130 --> 00:55:07.913
That's influence.
00:55:07.913 --> 00:55:11.782
And then, as you develop your influence, that's what then makes an impact.
00:55:11.782 --> 00:55:16.018
And so it's invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence.
00:55:16.018 --> 00:55:23.309
Impact the world is the idea or the framework, and again, you can apply that in a lot of different ways and a lot of different activities.
00:55:23.309 --> 00:55:25.318
That's why it's a framework, not a process.
00:55:25.318 --> 00:55:29.019
You know you apply it to different parts of your life.
00:55:29.019 --> 00:55:30.556
It could be finding your calling.
00:55:31.032 --> 00:55:45.032
It could be other things, it could be around relationships or those sorts of things, but it works as a way of recognizing, and I like the idea of starting with invest in yourself, cause I think that's a lot of times the step we skip.
00:55:45.873 --> 00:55:46.074
Yes.
00:55:46.215 --> 00:55:49.831
We end up just investing in others, and that's what burns us out a lot of times.
00:55:50.331 --> 00:55:52.215
That's so true, so true.
00:55:52.275 --> 00:55:55.742
So true, Well, you're Scott.
00:55:55.742 --> 00:56:18.742
You're a lot better guy than I was, Cause I would have been like I gave the first two earlier and I would repeat it, and I said if you want the other two, you can get the book at this address, but you didn't do that, but I would love for you to let people know how can they find your book and also share your podcast too, so people can check that out Absolutely so I actually put up a landing page just for your listeners that has all of that on it.
00:56:19.090 --> 00:56:30.750
So if you go to my website, which is inspiredstewardshipcom, and then forward slash horizons and what you'll find there, there's information, actually some free resources.
00:56:30.750 --> 00:56:38.842
So the activity I gave earlier with the columns and some of those other activities like that are available on there for free as well.
00:56:38.842 --> 00:56:49.349
There's information about the book, my podcast and just a way you could jump on and have a quick call with me if you've got questions or anything that came up from tonight that you wanted to talk to somebody about in private.
00:56:49.349 --> 00:56:56.476
That's all there at inspiredstewardshipcom forward slash horizons, Scott that's so awesome.
00:56:56.530 --> 00:57:00.460
You are the first person that's ever done that a specialized landing page.
00:57:00.460 --> 00:57:01.695
Thank you so much.
00:57:01.695 --> 00:57:02.458
Thank you so much.
00:57:03.090 --> 00:57:18.001
We'll make sure we put that link in the podcast show notes too, so people can go check that out, Scott usually so at the end we're actually going to have everybody jump up here and take a group selfie together, so we'll take a picture together, but we always like to ask our guests as we get ready to wrap up.
00:57:18.001 --> 00:57:19.661
Okay is the best way.
00:57:19.661 --> 00:57:20.603
Are you on social?
00:57:20.603 --> 00:57:23.304
Is there any way people can connect with you on social media too?
00:57:23.625 --> 00:57:24.726
yeah, absolutely that.
00:57:24.726 --> 00:57:25.626
That same page.
00:57:25.626 --> 00:57:36.173
I actually have all my social links in there too but I'm pretty much anywhere that, uh, I'm either on as a steward coach or as my last name you can search for.
00:57:36.173 --> 00:57:41.416
For some reason there's not a ton of meters that spell it like M-A-B-E-R-E-R out there.
00:57:41.416 --> 00:57:51.141
So you can usually find it relatively easily on all the social media handles, but LinkedIn, facebook, are probably the two I'm most active on, but I'm in all of them.
00:57:53.391 --> 00:57:55.996
Cool, so you guys can find all that on the landing page too.
00:57:55.996 --> 00:58:01.445
So well, guess, Scott, we like to ask our guests always to kind of close out our interview.
00:58:01.445 --> 00:58:04.659
I guess can you close this out?
00:58:04.659 --> 00:58:06.838
I'm trying to get my thoughts here together, it's okay.
00:58:06.838 --> 00:58:15.961
What is one thought that if you have anything that you would hope people would take away from our discussion tonight, what would that be?
00:58:17.003 --> 00:58:18.126
from our discussion tonight.
00:58:18.126 --> 00:58:19.789
What would that be?
00:58:19.789 --> 00:58:25.389
I think the biggest thing that I always like to try to point people to is that idea of being intentional.
00:58:25.389 --> 00:58:30.943
I think all too often we end up living our life just kind of by default.
00:58:30.943 --> 00:58:37.731
We have habits, we have behaviors, we have thoughts, we have all of these things that we've just kind of built up over time.
00:58:37.731 --> 00:59:07.869
And taking that space that I was talking about earlier, creating that 15 minutes in the morning, maybe before everyone gets get up to stop and think and process and be so that they're actually serving you well and moving you towards your purpose and your calling, then I think, if all of us did, that I think the world would be a much better place and we'd all be much happier and healthier people.