00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide Open. I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris, and I'm so happy to have you guys back this week. So much is moving so fast. I'm excited that I finally just wrapped a project I can't talk about just yet, but I will. I've been working on a secret little thing for the last few months that has taken up a lot of my time and it's been really really inspiring and fun and has really ignited a lot in me about you know, what I want to do next and what my career looks like in this new chapter of retirement. And I can't say too much, but just know that when I can talk about the project, you will hear it from me first here. And I'm excited to share this with you all, especially those of you who have been writing with me for decades. With my career and who I am on and off the field, this project will really tie a bow on everything, and I'm very grateful for the opportunity to work with a lot of incredible people, so I look forward to sharing that with you soon. Stepping into this new chapter of sport and entertainment and really trying new things in this new phase in my life after retirement. I'm really starting to love the work behind the camera. I'm really wanting to get into more scripted work and I never thought I would say that as someone who now can check the box of doing documentaries on women's sports with Red Bull and Hello Sunshine, the new series The Rise, I think it's time for me to really start to write and create uh, scripted shows and important scripted shows that really push the envelope and embody the journey and what you know it's like to be in sport and to be a woman in a male dominated industry. And I want to create really really fun scripts that embody all of these things. So fingers crossed, I'm speaking it into existence and I want to bring you all with me, and I appreciate you constantly pushing me to dig deeper and have like, you know, this career I've always imagined and not feeling scared to attack it. And you know, we have you know, speaking of we have a really special guest UH this week, Brittany Britney Bow, who has done just that. She has pushed the envelope and shifted and changed and reinvented herself over and over and over again and charged it with zero regret and it's opened so many incredible doors. And as someone who sits on the HRC board, she just got a visibility award at the LA Dinner and I'm so incredibly proud to have her on the podcast. And she's so articulate and insightful, and I think it's going to teach a lot of us about going after something even when it might seem crazy to most people, and really betting on yourself. So here's this week's episode with Britney.
00:03:37
Speaker 2: Loves.
00:03:44
Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide Open. I have a very special guest today, Brittany bo Is on today's podcast, and Wow, I'm really looking forward to this conversation because we got to see so much at the Winter Olympics this year, and the most beautiful part was her engagement with Hillary Knight. There are athletes and then there are people who completely rewrite what's possible. Britney Bow wasn't supposed to end up on the ice. She grew up in Central Florida, playing everything, chasing everything, competing in anything she could get her hands on, but basketball was her dream. She played at FAU and that was supposed to be the path until it wasn't. What followed was one of the most unlikely pivots in sports, trading hardwood for ice, Florida for the world stage, and becoming one of the best speed skaters on the planet. But this conversation isn't about metals or moments. It's about identity. It's about what it means to carry parts of yourself quietly while chasing great It's about love, finding it, choosing it and celebrating it out loud. And it's about letting go, letting go of a career, of a version of yourself and stepping into something unknown. Brittany is at that edge right now, walking away from the sport that defined her and stepping into a life that's still unfolding. Let's get into it. This is wide open and this is Britney Bow. Welcome to the show, Brittany.
00:05:31
Speaker 2: How are you God, I'm doing well. Thanks for having me.
00:05:35
Speaker 1: Well, uh, just getting off of an insane like the Winter Olympics were so good this year. I just like really was in it. I know you were there and you don't get to see it. Like it's nice to just to not feel in it anymore and to experience it with a cold little beverage and my kid and we're wearing dripped out USA gear. But yeah, I bet reality feels a little different right now for you, especially you just newly retired. There's a lot of great things going on in your world. I you know, viral moment of the engagement. Such a really cool time for you right now. So I'm really excited to dive into everything. But before we get there, I need to know everything about your childhood in Florida, because we are literally neighbors and we have never met, and I hate that.
00:06:35
Speaker 2: I know, girl, we're both in Florida. Like for you, it makes more sense being a professional soccer player, but for me being a professional speed skater, people are like, how the heck did you get involved in speed skating coming from Florida? And like, I grew up in the basketball gym. My dad was a high school basketball coach for the majority of my life, so I found myself in the gym doing what we would call or consider a traditional sport. And then when I was growing up, I went to a friend's birthday party at the local roller skating rink, not thinking about anything, just going to this birthday party and the inline skating coach from that rank. Mind you, I had no idea inline skating was even a sport. She came up to me and my family and you know, she just saw me zooming around. She explained a little bit about you know, what she does, and about the sport of inline skating and invited me out to an inline skating practice. So of course I get a pair of skates, I go to practice, and very quickly I find out that I have like an absolute need, a need for speed. So I I, yeah, so I just get involved in this super niche sport that really nobody knew about. Still people don't know about, and it is a world championship level sport. It's a Pan American level sport, but it's not an Olympic sport. But I dove into this and I started traveling around the world and I was on a professional race team when I was probably twelve or thirteen. No, yeah, so I just you know, I remember, I think I was maybe twelve, and it was the first time I went to a pro race, which was a marathon in California, and my mom shipped me off and that was when she could like still go through TSA and actually I don't even know if TSA was a thing. No, you walk to the gate, Yeah, puts me on the airplane. And I remember just being terrified to travel across the country by myself, but had the time of my life and really never looked back. I had so much success in the sport of inline skating, and you know, but to fast forward a little bit, I played every sport under the sun growing up in Florida, volleyball. I was the only girl on the boys soccer team, the only U girl on the boys baseball team, because I'm like, I'm not playing with the girls. I'm not playing softball, this, that and the other, like I want to play with the boys for you know, writing must have been on the wall, but here we are.
00:09:20
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, when did you know you were queer?
00:09:22
Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, I was on the wall going very early. And yeah maybe it was me playing basketball or football out in the backyard with my dad with no T shirt on when like that was allowed back in the day. Like so many sides on the way, we were the same kid from Florida.
00:09:41
Speaker 1: I never had a shirt on and I never had shoes on, so here we are same.
00:09:46
Speaker 2: But yeah, so like there were so many things, but like growing up, like in high school, I started to have to narrow down some of these sports. And my two main sports were basketball and in line skating. And when I was graduating from high school, I had two really cool opportunities. One was to take advantage of this program that the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee had in place, which took the top inline skaters in the US and funded them for twelve months to move out to Salt Lake City and try ice speed skating. The other opportunity I had was an offer to play Division one basketball at Florida Atlantic University. And from a young age, I always wanted to play D one ball, so at no point in my mind did I even consider going to try ice skating. At this point, it was like, I'm going to Florida Atlantic and I'm playing D one ball.
00:10:41
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, yeah.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: So you know, I had four great years at Florida Atlantic and you know my graduating year. Here we are twenty ten and the Winter Olympics were airing from Vancouver, and I was sitting on the couch with my roommate and I was watching and I saw a lot of my inline skating friends and competitors, walking and opening ceremonies, competing, winning medals, and at this point I was really like, I want to go play professional ball overseas and then hopefully make it into the WNBA. And watching the twenty ten Vancouver Games, I had a total change of heart. Seeing people that I grew up with, you know, having success at that Olympic level. I was like, no, when I graduate, I'm not going to play basketball anymore. I'm moving out to Salt Lake City and I'm becoming a speed skater.
00:11:35
Speaker 1: Wow, okay, okay, pause, because do you know what it tells me you were intent early on as a kid like I loved I loved to compete like I was crazy. I was competing all the time, and like that sounds exactly like you right now. So when you were a kid before all of this, did you just want to compete at everything? Were you just intense early on?
00:12:04
Speaker 2: Because that tense?
00:12:05
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, yes, I want to know. This is totally making sense because how many people their last year of college are just like, oh, I'm playing Division one college basketball. But you know what I want more? I want to go after this. I can do this, Like what I'm sorry that I've never heard that before. Yeah, how many years have you paused? How many years have you like not been like on the ice at this point playing basketball? Did you even touch an ice rink in college? No?
00:12:39
Speaker 2: I mean I you know, like grewing up, maybe went to like the ice skating rink here and there, but for like absolutely yes, Like nothing serious. So I would say, yeah, like I never tried speed skating until I graduated from college. So what twenty two, twenty two years old, so that was two thou ten And yeah, it was just like seeing somebody I'm sure you can relate. You're like, if they can do it, I can do that, Like I bet I beat their butts back then, And if they can do it, like I'm about to beat their butt here.
00:13:14
Speaker 1: Well, it's really interesting that what most people don't know is it's so different Like team sports and basketball, there's such a culture and it's like you've got like you're only as good as the other people around you. Like you can show up and be great one day and half of your team, you know, had a shit off day and it affects the outcome. Like it's it's great too because when you're that person having a shit day. You can have other people carry you, not in not when you're like fucking ice skin that is you homegirl. You are by yourself. You are putting everything on your back and you're like, well, let's hope I don't feel like shit today and have a bluebird.
00:13:56
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's like the beauty and the beast of like the individual and team sport thing. Like I miss team sports so much. I mean, like, you win together, you lose together. You have this sister fans camaraderie. Yeah, and then it's like for ice skating or really any individual sports, like nobody is as happy for you as you are for you when you win, and nobody feels that same disappointment when you don't win. But like you get to step up to that line and you're like, this is all me right now. So there's something like really powerful about that too.
00:14:37
Speaker 1: Pressure is a privilege. Who Pressure is a privilege. That is why I wanted to be a goalkeeper. Yeah, I was like.
00:14:45
Speaker 2: You can't have any off days.
00:14:47
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm either the hero or I'm the goat. It's either I want to walk out with my head held high or I want to crawl in every crack and hopefully no one sees me. And I'm like, I thought it was awesome. I was like, well, you can't hide in this position.
00:15:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's such as you like say, pressure is a privilege, because I love that and I always always remind myself of that, But there are many times where it's like, why did I sign up for this? Like this is self inflicted like torture and misery right now, And you're like, nope, pressure is a privilege, But that like literally saves me, and I'm sure it saves a lot of people because a lot of times you do not feel that.
00:15:29
Speaker 1: No we athletes who make it at the top like yourself, like you don't just accidentally stumble on six World championships or you don't accidentally become a four time Olympian, like you move differently in the world. But this is gonna be a big topic of discussion that's been going on for a lot of people our age, because we're pretty similar in age. Specialized sports early is the death of a lot of kids who want to develop to be great. There is no coincidence when you look at people like yourself, me, Abby Wamback, Magan repeat you, Sue Bird, some of the greatest Diana Tarazzi. Like all of these people played so many different sports, they were excellent at so many different sports, they did not choose until much later. I'm curious, and I genuinely feel this. When I see babies, I'll call them already and like drills, doing organized like training and having weights, and I'm like, you're gonna hate. You're gonna hate this sport soon because you still have so many years and there's no freedom to express yourself or be curious or creative in other sports. Like I love baseball. I was a catcher. It made me a fantastic fucking goalkeeper. It did my eye like my hand eye coordination was insane. And I feel that so many of these younger kids in this young generation feels like for me to be the best, like I gotta start early and I got to stick to it, and you know, and they end up hating sports by the time they're fifteen, and like, that's just when you're starting to get rolling. I'm curious of how you feel about getting specialized too early, because a lot of athletes are talking about it now. And I will be on the record all damn day saying play everything, do everything, do theater, do fucking frisbee. I don't give a shit what it is.
00:17:35
Speaker 2: Do it all?
00:17:37
Speaker 1: Do you agree?
00:17:37
Speaker 2: I could not agree more. I could not agree more. It breaks my heart when I see kids specializing in one thing from a very early age, and breaks my heart even more like that the parent is like almost forcing them to do that because that's what they think is best for their kid. And of course, like the kid that's specializes at an early age, there may be some that go on to be very good at that sport, but the majority absolutely not. You're gonna burn out your you know, yeah, you're you're gonna regret like even going into sport. You're gonna hate sport for me, like and I spoke to a lot of different parent groups, and the one thing I preach to them is let your kid play anything they want to play, let them do whatever they want to do, and most importantly, let them be a kid. I think something that I am so grateful for is, of course, when we show up to practice, we are one hundred Like I was always one hundred percent committed and focused and gave my all during that practice or training. But then I also was able to do all of the social events in middle school and high school and homecoming and prom, and of course there are times where you have to pick and choose. But the fact that my fit like my mom and my dad let me do everything that I wanted to do was a gift honestly.
00:19:10
Speaker 1: Well, it also gives you the ability to adapt. What makes great athletes great their ability to just adapt quickly to all different circumstances changes things that they can predict or that are unpredictable. I think that is so key, but it's important, I think, especially for the people listening and watching this is to bet on yourself when there's no guarantee. To me, that tells me a lot about your character. And I'm curious because for you to put so much into basketball, to go to college, to eat, breathe, sleep, and not want to go into the w NBA or not want to try to be a professional, like you really were betting on yourself and you didn't know what the outcome could be, but you wanted to chase it. And that's what people don't realize, Like chasing that greatness and chasing that edge what gave you that internal drive to just be like, well, this could work out or totally couldn't, but I'm going to bet on myself.
00:20:15
Speaker 2: Well, I think some people are just born with it, like as easy as that, and even more than that, having that support and people that also bet on you the same amount that you bet on yourself as a young child and kid. And that was my mom, that was my dad, that was every coach I had as a little kid. I am just so grateful to have been blessed with this support system around me that never questioned any belief that I had, or any dream or goal that I had. I really can't remember anybody in my close inner circle ever in my life that were like, I don't know me, maybe not like everyone around me always, you know, supported everything I did. And you like when people ask like what would you tell your younger self or what would you tell kids, it's just like believe in yourself, believing or like having the belief in something, especially in yourself, to me, is the most powerful thing that you can hold.
00:21:26
Speaker 1: Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after this brief message from our sponsors. I do think when I started to fully be myself in sports and fully accept my queerness and be celebrated for my queerness and being authentic and really talking about who I am outside of what I do is really when I started showing up as my full self? Did you feel that in a way? And I don't know if that's our relationship, you know, in terms of us coming from Florida where it's a very conservative place to live, which tells us you know, I moved and we were laughing before the show started, but we're like, there were there were signs, right, We all know that there were signs, right, Hello, Like we should have listened. But I do think I didn't have access to certain things in Florida that allowed me to show up as my true self until way later in life. When did you start to understand your queerness and how it related to your sport and what you were chasing.
00:22:38
Speaker 2: It wasn't until I was in college that I could express my queerness. I think growing up from a relatively early age, I kind of understood my queerness but couldn't express it. And growing up in a small town in Florida, growing up in Okalla, you know, very concernservative, grew up in kindergarten through twelfth grade, went to a private Catholic church, and private Catholic school, and you know, I was a great student, a great athlete, had great friends. But when it came to you know, the homecomings or the proms, or when girls start talking about having crushes on boys, like I knew that I was not aligned with the other girls in my class. And because I had so much success in all of these other areas, I didn't want to spoil that. And for me, it was easier just to keep that inside of me and kind of like move the way the people moved around me, because I didn't want to upset anyone around me. Growing up, even in my family, like conservative Catholic family, I knew that was probably a topic that wouldn't be you know, wanted to be discussed, so I just didn't. But then when I went to college at Florida Atlantic, being in South Florida, that's much more of a melting pot, and it was for the first time that I saw what, you know, people from different backgrounds, different ways of life, having different beliefs, different cultures, different you know, religious beliefs, and like everybody just got along. And for some reason, the moment I stepped on campus, I just felt like, Okay, it's now, you know, time to be my true authentic self and the way I'm going to present myself is how I feel. And you know, love me or hate me, accept me or don't, but this is me. And I can honestly say I was met with nothing but love respect. I was included my basketball team, like they became my family immediately. So it wasn't until I stepped foot on college to where I could express my queerness. And I love that, you know, It's like that was just I feel like every step of my life has been like a learning point and a gift in some capacity, because yeah, growing up in Florida and you know, early two thousands, that was not a topic that.
00:25:14
Speaker 1: Was disguised, no, and and you knew it, and you knew that that was something that like it just it's a very interesting place to live. I'll just tie that on a bow. But I like, I love it. Florida is so much of like who I am and the way I move and my crazy beachy like Patrick Swayze cut, like everything ties back to that like laid back culture of Florida, and it's just I hope we can move forward from that because there's a lot of kids there that are trapped, you know, they don't have access like we had access. They didn't have a way out like we had a way out. So I do think it's so great, And that was so beautifully said, and there's so much power and hearing you reclaim that and feeling safe enough to do it, and look, look what it's done. Look what if you've accomplished being exactly who you were meant to be. And I think that's so special. And I hope you know, anyone out there who feels like they don't have a safe place to be, there is community out there, and I think that's the important you know, sometimes we do have to be brave enough to just step into our own and be like, yeah, like if I'm going to do this, I'm going to own it, but I'm going to make sure I'm safe doing it and make sure like the people around me are going to lift me up too. And you know, you know, more than anyone, community is the most important thing we can have to make sure we're safe and we can actually be our authentic self. Because it's a weird time for the queer people right now.
00:26:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, yeah, And I you like, I feel really lucky that I was met with you know, the love and the grace, and but I'm very aware that that is not the case for a lot of people, and it just breaks my heart. And yeah, I just you know, for us to be able to step up and you know, live in our queerness and our true authentic self, I just hope that it gives you, know, that younger generation, the power that you know, there is a really high chance that you will find this amazing community if you're not surrounded with it right now, that people will love you and accept you and continue to lift you up.
00:27:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean, look look at where you are right now. You you just had an incredible I mean I think you won the gold at the Olympics getting proposed to. I mean, I don't know what more you want to walk away than a ring on your finger forever being like, yeah, we did that, And I want, like tell me about it. What? What when did you and Hillary meet? I want to know who made the first move because it's gonna tell me a lot about both of you. But yeah, it was so lovely that it went. It was so viral, it was so and for me, it's representation, you know, visibility, visibility and the acceptance that came with it. Was so beautiful, and I hope you felt that because so many people are like, thank god, we need fucking something to cheer for as everything's on fire back at home. It really it was a nice moment just to be like, oh love, we need more of it.
00:28:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, my heart was full of so much joy and love that whole Olympic Games. And it's like, side note, could you imagine something like that happening in like the nineties or the early two thousands and that being okay, no, but like, you know, the fact that how far we have come, and you know, there wasn't a moment of doubt to like, let's do this, you know, and post this in front of the world, and you know, we both were flooded with hundreds of messages and then you know, as I'm sure you can imagine, you know, we broke the internet there for a couple of days. So it was just so cool. But yeah, going back, we met like we've known each other for a number of years, just crossing paths through different Team USA events and over the years we've randomly slid into each other's Instagram dms, but never you know, I would be in a relationship or she would be in a relationship and it just never really aligned. But then going into Beijing, I can't even remember what she asked me, something like what you know, what are you taking? Like, what are you doing in Beijing? You know you I think she's like, are you watching anything on Netflix? Or playing any games? And I'm like, what what is this?
00:29:55
Speaker 1: What is this small talk? What is this? There's something else here?
00:30:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is this? Like, you know, you don't care what you don't care what I'm watching? But no, it was funny. And then we just like started texting in Beijing and she, you know, COVID times super weird, everybody masked up, everyone, you know, scared to death to test positive. You test positive, you're you know, essentially kicked out of the Olympics. So one day after dinner, she asked, like, you want to go on a walk. So that was kind of our first date. So we're walking around the Olympic village fully masked, you know, distanced and just talking and I'm that was kind of the start of honestly really getting to know each other at a deep level, you know, not having any distractions, kind of living in a bubble. We didn't have family, we didn't have friends. We didn't have fans, so it was just like us stuck in this Olympic village, and you know, late night walks became yeah, you want to go to dinner, so then really gets romantic. We're going to dinner with plexiglass wall.
00:30:59
Speaker 1: Oh.
00:31:01
Speaker 2: I love it. Yeah, So, I mean it was unique to say the least, but we just had this connection that was really really strong. And after Beijing, I you know, we were inseparable, really and our relationship just really bloomed from there.
00:31:22
Speaker 1: I love that. And truthfully, two elite athletes, two intense successful careers, like, what makes it work? How do you make it work? Because if most people don't realize how hectic our lives are and how you know, we're so on a schedule and every moment matters and it's just relentless. So I'm curious with both of you, how do you make it work?
00:31:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean with both of our schedules, like the chaos of the travel, the competition, the pressure of competing at a high level, and all of our schedules, like just having each other is our one constant, and the fact that we just continue to show up for one another, and you know, there's been more times of being a part than together. And you know, we realize sometimes we get you know, our tunnel vision and our caught up in our own thing and our own stress and our own pressure. But us both knowing that that is what comes with high performance and professional sports really keeps us together and really creates a special bond, Like we both know what it takes to get to the top to stay at the top. So with all that craziness, like continuing to choose one another, continuing to show up for one another knowing you know what that one is feeling, makes for a really strong connection and partnership for sure.
00:32:55
Speaker 1: That's so sweet And there is something powerful about loving someone who gets you like fully, they understood what it takes. They understood the selfishness. They understood like the intensity of choosing yourself a lot of the time to be the best version of you as a person, as an athlete and as a teammate. And what do you think that she understands about you that no one else does based on being such exceptional elite athletes.
00:33:29
Speaker 2: God, that's a great question. I don't I mean you actually said it, Like understanding like that selfishness and putting yourself first in these times. You know, these are unique times. These aren't going to last forever. There is an end game to this, so really, you know understanding, like I have to put myself first here, she has to put herself first there. You know, sometimes it requires somewhat of a reminder because of course we both have feelings and want each other to put one another first all the time. But you take a moment and you're like no, like you're right, Like I would do the same exact thing in this moment. So I think that's really really special.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: It really is. And I want to ask this because it's so sweet and I want everyone to hear it. Because you know, as we spoke about coming from Florida and conservative backgrounds with not much visibility, the younger version of you growing up in Florida, if you got to watch that viral moment between two women at the Olympic village, what would it mean to you?
00:34:38
Speaker 2: It would make me feel seen. It would definitely give me the power inside of me that it is okay to be me. It is okay to love who I want to love, identify how I want to identify. Because other people are doing that and they're being accepted and loved and praised and honored, and it's a beyond special moment. So I think it would just yeah, make me be seen and give me the power to step out into the world as my true self.
00:35:13
Speaker 1: I love that so sweet and it's so well put, and I agree. I think I would have saved And this is why I'm so visible about everything I do when it comes to my sexuality and my relationships. It would have saved me a lot of heartache of trying to figure out who I was and resisting it because I thought it was wrong. You're right, you say it so perfectly. Just to be seen to scene is believing and that visual, that visual moment. You know, we didn't have social media when we were kids, Like we got to see magazines, Sure as hell, not many gay people on those magazines. So it's like I was just like, why can't I get it right? Why does it feel not good? And it just I felt sad, and I just think about these young kids who get to see that, who get to see that moment. You know, whether it's two women, two men, uh, you know, someone who you know identifies a person exactly, whatever the fuck is you want just to be able to see it and know like, oh, I'm not alone, Like, oh I do have community. Oh people do move like me or think like me. I see myself in them. I can be them. Like there's so much that goes into being able to show this young generation, not even this young generation, I would even say the older generation who's still stuck in the old ways that are scared. I'm seeing more women come out later in life than I ever have, And I'm just like, go on, sister, You've been doing this long enough, like drop the rope good.
00:37:00
Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, but I think, yeah, but I think.
00:37:04
Speaker 1: I was just going to say to just kind of sum it up. You know, you you now after getting proposed to by Hillary, and you know you both have been traveling a lot, and you know, going to Saturday Night Live and god knows everything else under the sun, the oscars really cool things, And do you feel good about what's next and rebirth in retirement and walking away into this new future with your future wife, Like, I want to know how you're feeling and how you're sitting with it right now, because I know what it's like to retire, and I know it's scary and it's unfamiliar, and I want to check in and know like how are you, how are you feeling? What, what are we what's going on?
00:37:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you for asking me, yause that is a real thing. But yeah, just to touch on like some of the things Hillary and I have done and her being you know on SNL, this, that and the other, and to be you know, by her side through those things, it's really cool and it just makes like I'm just so proud of her and so happy for her that she and the other girls are getting, you know, the recognition that they deserve, like they are killing it out there, and you know, I just you know, know a little bit of what Hillary has given back to the sport and her you know, playing a huge part and creating the professional Women's Hockey League. Like so to be able to be in these moments with her has just been so incredible and I'm just so proud to stand by her and just so happy to be able to see her, you know, being acknowledged for these things. So that's been great, and you know, I am ready to take the skin suit off and be a fan of Hillary and the and the women team for as long as she wants to play. But just talking about my retirement. I feel very content in this moment. After Beijing. I knew, I, you know, I wanted to go four more years, but I would be ready to be done this time around. I feel really blessed that I was able to end on my terms when I want to, because I know a lot of athletes don't have that, yeah, you know freedom. Looking back on this Olympics, finishing fourth place in all three of my events, you know, arguably the toughest spot to finish in the Olympic Games, I can really really say my heart was so full of joy every single moment of that games.
00:39:51
Speaker 1: You know.
00:39:51
Speaker 2: Going back to Beijing, I win my first individual medal, I felt emptiness. I mean, my family wasn't there, My friends, weren't there. All of these awesome people that have been such a pivotal part of my journey weren't there. So to you know, win this medal, to win, you know, accomplish this lifelong dream and to feel a sense of emptiness was really really bizarre. So given that I really knew, I was like, I want to go four more years, and you know, I am like the oldest, I think girl out there, and it was going to be tough to get onto that podium this time around. But I knew I had a chance. I believed in myself, and you know, three fourth place finishes devastating, but at the same time, looking up seeing my mom, my dad, my sister, Hillary, Hillary's whole family, and the stance, I'm like, that's what this is all about. And you know, through our whole career, you know, as athletes were most of the time defined by our wins and our losses. But knowing that this was going to be my last quot four years ago, being able to kind of reflect on my entire career through this last four year process has been a huge blessing. And I you know, ending the Olympics, I know, my last Olympic event, the fifteen hundred meter, really really emotional. And I remember after that race, the men's hockey team had their semi final game and I'm on the bus back to the village in Hillary text me asking if I wanted to go to the men's hockey game with her and the team, and my initial response was like, yeah, absolutely, let's do it. But I sat there for a second, I'm like, you know what, No, I need like this moment to myself as I'm sure. You can imagine when you know, what's your last time, you're holding in, you know, so many emotions because you still have to perform. And I just needed a moment to feel all of the things, the happiness, you know, the sadness. I just I really needed to just go back to my room in the village and cry for a little bit. And they were tears of sadness, tears of joy, tears of you know, you know, thankfulness. So I just needed to pause for that evening and have that evening to myself and just to think through, you know, the wonderful sixteen years and you know, to say you could. Can you do all that in one night? Maybe not, but I just I didn't want to, you know, keep doing things and pushing off these emotions that I was really having to bottle in to try to execute a perfect race.
00:42:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's it's so real and it's so raw, and I appreciate you being so vulnerable. This is wide open, and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris. Thanks for listening. We'll be right back now. That you are stepping into this new phase of life and this beautiful new chapter, what parts of your identity are you holding on too, and what parts are you ready to release to start this new chapter?
00:43:07
Speaker 2: Wow, I mean I will forever be like longing for this competitive edge. I mean I have been driven to be the best for so long. But what is really exciting. I've actually I've worked with a hypnotherapist for a number of years now, and these last number of years in my career, I've become really curious about like this inner world and in my mind, you know, where does my identity lie? And I know my identity does not sit with my results, but at the same time, like that is what my identity has been for so many years. So to try to work through like that ebb and flow of like what is true and what do I believe? Trying to you know, explore like what are my fears? What are my belief systems? You know, our metals and our accomplishments define us in a certain sense. But I think the real story of I'm sure you can relate to this of our careers is learning how to rebuild when things don't go good, Learning how to deal with pressure, with shortcomings, failures, learning how to pull yourself out of these feelings of self doubt, overcoming obstacles and what I've learned in this world of hypnotherapy is it's essentially like rewiring your belief at a subconscious level. Our subconscious truly shapes our entire belief system. So I am really exciting to like dive into this world, and I'm really eager to help other high performers strengthen and control the one thing that we can all control, and that's how we think in the p of our minds.
00:45:01
Speaker 1: I love that, And you're right, there's not enough people out there talking about it, you know, mental health Now, yeah, people are talking as hard as hell to even access Most people can't access a therapist at two hundred dollars an hour like that doesn't that doesn't exist. So I love that you bring that topic up because it will make the transition better. It's not going to make it easy. There's nothing about shedding the skin of what you once were and starting and new. There's it is a hard place to sit at the edge of and I know you're sitting in that, but I love to hear you're doing the work because it's not easy and you have to. You know, in what world do you dedicate your whole fucking life to this craft and then at thirty eight you walk away and you're like, what's next? What do I do? But the mind is a big component and not everyone gets it, and it is very very clear that you get it. So would do you want this to be your next chapter? Like a sports psychologist or a mental coach or like what is it that you feel? Because you are curious and you are adventurous and you are going to go out clearly are going to go after whatever it is your mind is set to. I'm curious, Like what are you excited about right now? That you've got to shed your skin? You're starting anew and the possibilities are endless. Yeah.
00:46:34
Speaker 2: So, like I said, I've been working with a mindset coach and he specializes in hypnotherapy. His name's Elliott Rowe, and he has a team of mindset coaches who use hypnotherapy in their practice. In the past couple of years, he's been planting the seed because I've done a ton of work with him, a ton of sports psychs, psychiatrists, and so I've like lived this for so long on the app fleet's side, and He's like, if you ever want to be, you know, a part of the team, I'd love to have you. I'd love to coach you up. So this past summer I actually took a six month course and got certified in hypnotherapy, and so I am really interested in stepping into that world, and not just athletes, but any high performer, Like I think so many people don't work on the growth between their ears because you can't see it growing. It's really really hard to measure. And I didn't do a ton of mindset work until probably so twenty eighteen, I had a really bad head injury that could have taken me out of sport completely. It took me out of my sport for a whole year. And prior to that, I never had anxiety. I never had panic attacks. I was always what I thought like very strong minded, and that really stripped me of my entire being. I had really nothing. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know how to think, like how do I overcome this? And at that moment I really got a lot of help from different individuals. And then when I got back into high performance with skating, I found Elliott and being able to tap into like that subconscious mind or that part of you that you don't even know exists a lot of the times that that is the reason that you are the way you are. So if you were able to access that and you find it for yourself, you're not told, you know, you were guided. And when I could find a part of me that was, you know, inhibiting me from doing the things that I wanted to do and a lot of it was fear driven. Yeah, that was just so life changing for me that I'm like, I want to be able to help people do that. And of course I can relate the most athletes. You see so many people that you know, you could say buckle under pressure or you know, get the yips or whatever. So to have lived that and then to explore this mental side of things, I really believe that I could be helpful to a lot of people. And so that's what excites me.
00:49:20
Speaker 1: I love that. That's incredible and it's it's such a cool space to sit in because not enough people do it and so many people need it. So the last question I want to ask now, and when you really zoom out and you look at your life so far, you're you know, from Central Florida to Olympic podiums to this moment, what are you most proud of that no one sees.
00:49:46
Speaker 2: I mean, there are a few things, but the first thing that comes to mind is overcoming this head injury that some people know about, a lot of people don't. But I had, yeah, a concussion that turned into post concussion syndrome, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, vertigo attacks, and I was also diagnosed with this condition called POTS. And being able to work through those things. I mean, there was a time where I couldn't get off the couch. My heart rate would elevate, my blood pressure would drop, I would have a number of fainting episodes. I was scared to drive a car. I was scared that I would have a vertigo attack. I couldn't walk through a grocery store because I would get overwhelmed by the colors and the aisles. I wouldn't be able to go to a restaurant because just the loud noises would be debilitating to me. So the work that I did to not just become somebody that could live in society peacefully, but to be able to put my skates back on, to be able to compete at the highest level, to be able to win an Olympic medal. After that, to be able to set a world record after that is something I'm really really proud of. But then on the same note, I must say something that makes me proud that people have reminded me of is the way that I've made them feel. Like the impact that I've had on so many different people, kids, adults, people that I would never think that I would have a positive impact on is something I'm really proud of because at the end of the day, you know, our accomplishments and medals, Yeah, it's cool, but it doesn't matter. What really matters to me, and I think to everyone is the impact that you have on people and the way that people remember you. So to continue to get a number of different messages from people like that have been very, very touching, and I'm proud that I've been able to have such a positive impact to so many people.
00:52:12
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Thank you, Brittany. And it's the truth. People don't people won't remember what you did. People will always remember how you made them feel. And you have done that at every level, at every turn, every corner. And I wish you nothing but the continued success and happiness. And thank you for sharing your love story and being vulnerable and giving us hope. From at home, and watching this journey with both you and Hillary. It's been really fun to see from Afar and I know it's helping your stories helping so many people. So thank you for being here today. Thanks for coming on. I'd open, you delivered as always. I'm not surprised. You're so smart, you're so articulate. You just seem like a really incredible human And I hope where our paths cross. I want to hang out, I want to break bread, I want to get dinner, I want to do all the things.
00:53:17
Speaker 2: Yes, please, let's do it now. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate It's always fun to get to share different parts of me. And so yeah, thank you for asking the questions that you did, because yeah, this, these kind of conversations and sharing these stories are life changing to people and it's so important.
00:53:37
Speaker 1: There you have it, everyone, Brittany, thanks for being Wide Open. We'll see everyone next time on Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris. All Right, everyone, what a beautiful conversation with a beautiful person. There's something really powerful about hearing someone stand at the edge of who they've been and still chew to walk forward. Brittany spent her life chasing seconds, chasing perfection, chasing a vision of excellence that most people will never understand, and she did that at the highest level. But what stuck with me more than anything wasn't about what she accomplished, but who she became along the way. The courage to pivot when it didn't make sense, the strength to carry her identity even when it felt complicated, the vulnerability to love out loud, and the bravery to walk away when it's time, because the truth is, walking away from something that defined you might be the hardest win of all. But Brittany's not done. She's actually not even close. She's just getting started in a different way. So if this conversation tells us anything it's that the best chapters don't come from holding on. They come from having the courage to to evolve over and over again. I'm Ashlin Harris and this is Wide Open. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our Executive producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan, and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm Your Host Ashlin Harris
Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide Open. I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris, and I'm so happy to have you guys back this week. So much is moving so fast. I'm excited that I finally just wrapped a project I can't talk about just yet, but I will. I've been working on a secret little thing for the last few months that has taken up a lot of my time and it's been really really inspiring and fun and has really ignited a lot in me about you know, what I want to do next and what my career looks like in this new chapter of retirement. And I can't say too much, but just know that when I can talk about the project, you will hear it from me first here. And I'm excited to share this with you all, especially those of you who have been writing with me for decades. With my career and who I am on and off the field, this project will really tie a bow on everything, and I'm very grateful for the opportunity to work with a lot of incredible people, so I look forward to sharing that with you soon. Stepping into this new chapter of sport and entertainment and really trying new things in this new phase in my life after retirement. I'm really starting to love the work behind the camera. I'm really wanting to get into more scripted work and I never thought I would say that as someone who now can check the box of doing documentaries on women's sports with Red Bull and Hello Sunshine, the new series The Rise, I think it's time for me to really start to write and create uh, scripted shows and important scripted shows that really push the envelope and embody the journey and what you know it's like to be in sport and to be a woman in a male dominated industry. And I want to create really really fun scripts that embody all of these things. So fingers crossed, I'm speaking it into existence and I want to bring you all with me, and I appreciate you constantly pushing me to dig deeper and have like, you know, this career I've always imagined and not feeling scared to attack it. And you know, we have you know, speaking of we have a really special guest UH this week, Brittany Britney Bow, who has done just that. She has pushed the envelope and shifted and changed and reinvented herself over and over and over again and charged it with zero regret and it's opened so many incredible doors. And as someone who sits on the HRC board, she just got a visibility award at the LA Dinner and I'm so incredibly proud to have her on the podcast. And she's so articulate and insightful, and I think it's going to teach a lot of us about going after something even when it might seem crazy to most people, and really betting on yourself. So here's this week's episode with Britney.
00:03:37
Speaker 2: Loves.
00:03:44
Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide Open. I have a very special guest today, Brittany bo Is on today's podcast, and Wow, I'm really looking forward to this conversation because we got to see so much at the Winter Olympics this year, and the most beautiful part was her engagement with Hillary Knight. There are athletes and then there are people who completely rewrite what's possible. Britney Bow wasn't supposed to end up on the ice. She grew up in Central Florida, playing everything, chasing everything, competing in anything she could get her hands on, but basketball was her dream. She played at FAU and that was supposed to be the path until it wasn't. What followed was one of the most unlikely pivots in sports, trading hardwood for ice, Florida for the world stage, and becoming one of the best speed skaters on the planet. But this conversation isn't about metals or moments. It's about identity. It's about what it means to carry parts of yourself quietly while chasing great It's about love, finding it, choosing it and celebrating it out loud. And it's about letting go, letting go of a career, of a version of yourself and stepping into something unknown. Brittany is at that edge right now, walking away from the sport that defined her and stepping into a life that's still unfolding. Let's get into it. This is wide open and this is Britney Bow. Welcome to the show, Brittany.
00:05:31
Speaker 2: How are you God, I'm doing well. Thanks for having me.
00:05:35
Speaker 1: Well, uh, just getting off of an insane like the Winter Olympics were so good this year. I just like really was in it. I know you were there and you don't get to see it. Like it's nice to just to not feel in it anymore and to experience it with a cold little beverage and my kid and we're wearing dripped out USA gear. But yeah, I bet reality feels a little different right now for you, especially you just newly retired. There's a lot of great things going on in your world. I you know, viral moment of the engagement. Such a really cool time for you right now. So I'm really excited to dive into everything. But before we get there, I need to know everything about your childhood in Florida, because we are literally neighbors and we have never met, and I hate that.
00:06:35
Speaker 2: I know, girl, we're both in Florida. Like for you, it makes more sense being a professional soccer player, but for me being a professional speed skater, people are like, how the heck did you get involved in speed skating coming from Florida? And like, I grew up in the basketball gym. My dad was a high school basketball coach for the majority of my life, so I found myself in the gym doing what we would call or consider a traditional sport. And then when I was growing up, I went to a friend's birthday party at the local roller skating rink, not thinking about anything, just going to this birthday party and the inline skating coach from that rank. Mind you, I had no idea inline skating was even a sport. She came up to me and my family and you know, she just saw me zooming around. She explained a little bit about you know, what she does, and about the sport of inline skating and invited me out to an inline skating practice. So of course I get a pair of skates, I go to practice, and very quickly I find out that I have like an absolute need, a need for speed. So I I, yeah, so I just get involved in this super niche sport that really nobody knew about. Still people don't know about, and it is a world championship level sport. It's a Pan American level sport, but it's not an Olympic sport. But I dove into this and I started traveling around the world and I was on a professional race team when I was probably twelve or thirteen. No, yeah, so I just you know, I remember, I think I was maybe twelve, and it was the first time I went to a pro race, which was a marathon in California, and my mom shipped me off and that was when she could like still go through TSA and actually I don't even know if TSA was a thing. No, you walk to the gate, Yeah, puts me on the airplane. And I remember just being terrified to travel across the country by myself, but had the time of my life and really never looked back. I had so much success in the sport of inline skating, and you know, but to fast forward a little bit, I played every sport under the sun growing up in Florida, volleyball. I was the only girl on the boys soccer team, the only U girl on the boys baseball team, because I'm like, I'm not playing with the girls. I'm not playing softball, this, that and the other, like I want to play with the boys for you know, writing must have been on the wall, but here we are.
00:09:20
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, when did you know you were queer?
00:09:22
Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, I was on the wall going very early. And yeah maybe it was me playing basketball or football out in the backyard with my dad with no T shirt on when like that was allowed back in the day. Like so many sides on the way, we were the same kid from Florida.
00:09:41
Speaker 1: I never had a shirt on and I never had shoes on, so here we are same.
00:09:46
Speaker 2: But yeah, so like there were so many things, but like growing up, like in high school, I started to have to narrow down some of these sports. And my two main sports were basketball and in line skating. And when I was graduating from high school, I had two really cool opportunities. One was to take advantage of this program that the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee had in place, which took the top inline skaters in the US and funded them for twelve months to move out to Salt Lake City and try ice speed skating. The other opportunity I had was an offer to play Division one basketball at Florida Atlantic University. And from a young age, I always wanted to play D one ball, so at no point in my mind did I even consider going to try ice skating. At this point, it was like, I'm going to Florida Atlantic and I'm playing D one ball.
00:10:41
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, yeah.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: So you know, I had four great years at Florida Atlantic and you know my graduating year. Here we are twenty ten and the Winter Olympics were airing from Vancouver, and I was sitting on the couch with my roommate and I was watching and I saw a lot of my inline skating friends and competitors, walking and opening ceremonies, competing, winning medals, and at this point I was really like, I want to go play professional ball overseas and then hopefully make it into the WNBA. And watching the twenty ten Vancouver Games, I had a total change of heart. Seeing people that I grew up with, you know, having success at that Olympic level. I was like, no, when I graduate, I'm not going to play basketball anymore. I'm moving out to Salt Lake City and I'm becoming a speed skater.
00:11:35
Speaker 1: Wow, okay, okay, pause, because do you know what it tells me you were intent early on as a kid like I loved I loved to compete like I was crazy. I was competing all the time, and like that sounds exactly like you right now. So when you were a kid before all of this, did you just want to compete at everything? Were you just intense early on?
00:12:04
Speaker 2: Because that tense?
00:12:05
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, yes, I want to know. This is totally making sense because how many people their last year of college are just like, oh, I'm playing Division one college basketball. But you know what I want more? I want to go after this. I can do this, Like what I'm sorry that I've never heard that before. Yeah, how many years have you paused? How many years have you like not been like on the ice at this point playing basketball? Did you even touch an ice rink in college? No?
00:12:39
Speaker 2: I mean I you know, like grewing up, maybe went to like the ice skating rink here and there, but for like absolutely yes, Like nothing serious. So I would say, yeah, like I never tried speed skating until I graduated from college. So what twenty two, twenty two years old, so that was two thou ten And yeah, it was just like seeing somebody I'm sure you can relate. You're like, if they can do it, I can do that, Like I bet I beat their butts back then, And if they can do it, like I'm about to beat their butt here.
00:13:14
Speaker 1: Well, it's really interesting that what most people don't know is it's so different Like team sports and basketball, there's such a culture and it's like you've got like you're only as good as the other people around you. Like you can show up and be great one day and half of your team, you know, had a shit off day and it affects the outcome. Like it's it's great too because when you're that person having a shit day. You can have other people carry you, not in not when you're like fucking ice skin that is you homegirl. You are by yourself. You are putting everything on your back and you're like, well, let's hope I don't feel like shit today and have a bluebird.
00:13:56
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's like the beauty and the beast of like the individual and team sport thing. Like I miss team sports so much. I mean, like, you win together, you lose together. You have this sister fans camaraderie. Yeah, and then it's like for ice skating or really any individual sports, like nobody is as happy for you as you are for you when you win, and nobody feels that same disappointment when you don't win. But like you get to step up to that line and you're like, this is all me right now. So there's something like really powerful about that too.
00:14:37
Speaker 1: Pressure is a privilege. Who Pressure is a privilege. That is why I wanted to be a goalkeeper. Yeah, I was like.
00:14:45
Speaker 2: You can't have any off days.
00:14:47
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm either the hero or I'm the goat. It's either I want to walk out with my head held high or I want to crawl in every crack and hopefully no one sees me. And I'm like, I thought it was awesome. I was like, well, you can't hide in this position.
00:15:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's such as you like say, pressure is a privilege, because I love that and I always always remind myself of that, But there are many times where it's like, why did I sign up for this? Like this is self inflicted like torture and misery right now, And you're like, nope, pressure is a privilege, But that like literally saves me, and I'm sure it saves a lot of people because a lot of times you do not feel that.
00:15:29
Speaker 1: No we athletes who make it at the top like yourself, like you don't just accidentally stumble on six World championships or you don't accidentally become a four time Olympian, like you move differently in the world. But this is gonna be a big topic of discussion that's been going on for a lot of people our age, because we're pretty similar in age. Specialized sports early is the death of a lot of kids who want to develop to be great. There is no coincidence when you look at people like yourself, me, Abby Wamback, Magan repeat you, Sue Bird, some of the greatest Diana Tarazzi. Like all of these people played so many different sports, they were excellent at so many different sports, they did not choose until much later. I'm curious, and I genuinely feel this. When I see babies, I'll call them already and like drills, doing organized like training and having weights, and I'm like, you're gonna hate. You're gonna hate this sport soon because you still have so many years and there's no freedom to express yourself or be curious or creative in other sports. Like I love baseball. I was a catcher. It made me a fantastic fucking goalkeeper. It did my eye like my hand eye coordination was insane. And I feel that so many of these younger kids in this young generation feels like for me to be the best, like I gotta start early and I got to stick to it, and you know, and they end up hating sports by the time they're fifteen, and like, that's just when you're starting to get rolling. I'm curious of how you feel about getting specialized too early, because a lot of athletes are talking about it now. And I will be on the record all damn day saying play everything, do everything, do theater, do fucking frisbee. I don't give a shit what it is.
00:17:35
Speaker 2: Do it all?
00:17:37
Speaker 1: Do you agree?
00:17:37
Speaker 2: I could not agree more. I could not agree more. It breaks my heart when I see kids specializing in one thing from a very early age, and breaks my heart even more like that the parent is like almost forcing them to do that because that's what they think is best for their kid. And of course, like the kid that's specializes at an early age, there may be some that go on to be very good at that sport, but the majority absolutely not. You're gonna burn out your you know, yeah, you're you're gonna regret like even going into sport. You're gonna hate sport for me, like and I spoke to a lot of different parent groups, and the one thing I preach to them is let your kid play anything they want to play, let them do whatever they want to do, and most importantly, let them be a kid. I think something that I am so grateful for is, of course, when we show up to practice, we are one hundred Like I was always one hundred percent committed and focused and gave my all during that practice or training. But then I also was able to do all of the social events in middle school and high school and homecoming and prom, and of course there are times where you have to pick and choose. But the fact that my fit like my mom and my dad let me do everything that I wanted to do was a gift honestly.
00:19:10
Speaker 1: Well, it also gives you the ability to adapt. What makes great athletes great their ability to just adapt quickly to all different circumstances changes things that they can predict or that are unpredictable. I think that is so key, but it's important, I think, especially for the people listening and watching this is to bet on yourself when there's no guarantee. To me, that tells me a lot about your character. And I'm curious because for you to put so much into basketball, to go to college, to eat, breathe, sleep, and not want to go into the w NBA or not want to try to be a professional, like you really were betting on yourself and you didn't know what the outcome could be, but you wanted to chase it. And that's what people don't realize, Like chasing that greatness and chasing that edge what gave you that internal drive to just be like, well, this could work out or totally couldn't, but I'm going to bet on myself.
00:20:15
Speaker 2: Well, I think some people are just born with it, like as easy as that, and even more than that, having that support and people that also bet on you the same amount that you bet on yourself as a young child and kid. And that was my mom, that was my dad, that was every coach I had as a little kid. I am just so grateful to have been blessed with this support system around me that never questioned any belief that I had, or any dream or goal that I had. I really can't remember anybody in my close inner circle ever in my life that were like, I don't know me, maybe not like everyone around me always, you know, supported everything I did. And you like when people ask like what would you tell your younger self or what would you tell kids, it's just like believe in yourself, believing or like having the belief in something, especially in yourself, to me, is the most powerful thing that you can hold.
00:21:26
Speaker 1: Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after this brief message from our sponsors. I do think when I started to fully be myself in sports and fully accept my queerness and be celebrated for my queerness and being authentic and really talking about who I am outside of what I do is really when I started showing up as my full self? Did you feel that in a way? And I don't know if that's our relationship, you know, in terms of us coming from Florida where it's a very conservative place to live, which tells us you know, I moved and we were laughing before the show started, but we're like, there were there were signs, right, We all know that there were signs, right, Hello, Like we should have listened. But I do think I didn't have access to certain things in Florida that allowed me to show up as my true self until way later in life. When did you start to understand your queerness and how it related to your sport and what you were chasing.
00:22:38
Speaker 2: It wasn't until I was in college that I could express my queerness. I think growing up from a relatively early age, I kind of understood my queerness but couldn't express it. And growing up in a small town in Florida, growing up in Okalla, you know, very concernservative, grew up in kindergarten through twelfth grade, went to a private Catholic church, and private Catholic school, and you know, I was a great student, a great athlete, had great friends. But when it came to you know, the homecomings or the proms, or when girls start talking about having crushes on boys, like I knew that I was not aligned with the other girls in my class. And because I had so much success in all of these other areas, I didn't want to spoil that. And for me, it was easier just to keep that inside of me and kind of like move the way the people moved around me, because I didn't want to upset anyone around me. Growing up, even in my family, like conservative Catholic family, I knew that was probably a topic that wouldn't be you know, wanted to be discussed, so I just didn't. But then when I went to college at Florida Atlantic, being in South Florida, that's much more of a melting pot, and it was for the first time that I saw what, you know, people from different backgrounds, different ways of life, having different beliefs, different cultures, different you know, religious beliefs, and like everybody just got along. And for some reason, the moment I stepped on campus, I just felt like, Okay, it's now, you know, time to be my true authentic self and the way I'm going to present myself is how I feel. And you know, love me or hate me, accept me or don't, but this is me. And I can honestly say I was met with nothing but love respect. I was included my basketball team, like they became my family immediately. So it wasn't until I stepped foot on college to where I could express my queerness. And I love that, you know, It's like that was just I feel like every step of my life has been like a learning point and a gift in some capacity, because yeah, growing up in Florida and you know, early two thousands, that was not a topic that.
00:25:14
Speaker 1: Was disguised, no, and and you knew it, and you knew that that was something that like it just it's a very interesting place to live. I'll just tie that on a bow. But I like, I love it. Florida is so much of like who I am and the way I move and my crazy beachy like Patrick Swayze cut, like everything ties back to that like laid back culture of Florida, and it's just I hope we can move forward from that because there's a lot of kids there that are trapped, you know, they don't have access like we had access. They didn't have a way out like we had a way out. So I do think it's so great, And that was so beautifully said, and there's so much power and hearing you reclaim that and feeling safe enough to do it, and look, look what it's done. Look what if you've accomplished being exactly who you were meant to be. And I think that's so special. And I hope you know, anyone out there who feels like they don't have a safe place to be, there is community out there, and I think that's the important you know, sometimes we do have to be brave enough to just step into our own and be like, yeah, like if I'm going to do this, I'm going to own it, but I'm going to make sure I'm safe doing it and make sure like the people around me are going to lift me up too. And you know, you know, more than anyone, community is the most important thing we can have to make sure we're safe and we can actually be our authentic self. Because it's a weird time for the queer people right now.
00:26:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, yeah, And I you like, I feel really lucky that I was met with you know, the love and the grace, and but I'm very aware that that is not the case for a lot of people, and it just breaks my heart. And yeah, I just you know, for us to be able to step up and you know, live in our queerness and our true authentic self, I just hope that it gives you, know, that younger generation, the power that you know, there is a really high chance that you will find this amazing community if you're not surrounded with it right now, that people will love you and accept you and continue to lift you up.
00:27:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean, look look at where you are right now. You you just had an incredible I mean I think you won the gold at the Olympics getting proposed to. I mean, I don't know what more you want to walk away than a ring on your finger forever being like, yeah, we did that, And I want, like tell me about it. What? What when did you and Hillary meet? I want to know who made the first move because it's gonna tell me a lot about both of you. But yeah, it was so lovely that it went. It was so viral, it was so and for me, it's representation, you know, visibility, visibility and the acceptance that came with it. Was so beautiful, and I hope you felt that because so many people are like, thank god, we need fucking something to cheer for as everything's on fire back at home. It really it was a nice moment just to be like, oh love, we need more of it.
00:28:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, my heart was full of so much joy and love that whole Olympic Games. And it's like, side note, could you imagine something like that happening in like the nineties or the early two thousands and that being okay, no, but like, you know, the fact that how far we have come, and you know, there wasn't a moment of doubt to like, let's do this, you know, and post this in front of the world, and you know, we both were flooded with hundreds of messages and then you know, as I'm sure you can imagine, you know, we broke the internet there for a couple of days. So it was just so cool. But yeah, going back, we met like we've known each other for a number of years, just crossing paths through different Team USA events and over the years we've randomly slid into each other's Instagram dms, but never you know, I would be in a relationship or she would be in a relationship and it just never really aligned. But then going into Beijing, I can't even remember what she asked me, something like what you know, what are you taking? Like, what are you doing in Beijing? You know you I think she's like, are you watching anything on Netflix? Or playing any games? And I'm like, what what is this?
00:29:55
Speaker 1: What is this small talk? What is this? There's something else here?
00:30:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is this? Like, you know, you don't care what you don't care what I'm watching? But no, it was funny. And then we just like started texting in Beijing and she, you know, COVID times super weird, everybody masked up, everyone, you know, scared to death to test positive. You test positive, you're you know, essentially kicked out of the Olympics. So one day after dinner, she asked, like, you want to go on a walk. So that was kind of our first date. So we're walking around the Olympic village fully masked, you know, distanced and just talking and I'm that was kind of the start of honestly really getting to know each other at a deep level, you know, not having any distractions, kind of living in a bubble. We didn't have family, we didn't have friends. We didn't have fans, so it was just like us stuck in this Olympic village, and you know, late night walks became yeah, you want to go to dinner, so then really gets romantic. We're going to dinner with plexiglass wall.
00:30:59
Speaker 1: Oh.
00:31:01
Speaker 2: I love it. Yeah, So, I mean it was unique to say the least, but we just had this connection that was really really strong. And after Beijing, I you know, we were inseparable, really and our relationship just really bloomed from there.
00:31:22
Speaker 1: I love that. And truthfully, two elite athletes, two intense successful careers, like, what makes it work? How do you make it work? Because if most people don't realize how hectic our lives are and how you know, we're so on a schedule and every moment matters and it's just relentless. So I'm curious with both of you, how do you make it work?
00:31:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean with both of our schedules, like the chaos of the travel, the competition, the pressure of competing at a high level, and all of our schedules, like just having each other is our one constant, and the fact that we just continue to show up for one another, and you know, there's been more times of being a part than together. And you know, we realize sometimes we get you know, our tunnel vision and our caught up in our own thing and our own stress and our own pressure. But us both knowing that that is what comes with high performance and professional sports really keeps us together and really creates a special bond, Like we both know what it takes to get to the top to stay at the top. So with all that craziness, like continuing to choose one another, continuing to show up for one another knowing you know what that one is feeling, makes for a really strong connection and partnership for sure.
00:32:55
Speaker 1: That's so sweet And there is something powerful about loving someone who gets you like fully, they understood what it takes. They understood the selfishness. They understood like the intensity of choosing yourself a lot of the time to be the best version of you as a person, as an athlete and as a teammate. And what do you think that she understands about you that no one else does based on being such exceptional elite athletes.
00:33:29
Speaker 2: God, that's a great question. I don't I mean you actually said it, Like understanding like that selfishness and putting yourself first in these times. You know, these are unique times. These aren't going to last forever. There is an end game to this, so really, you know understanding, like I have to put myself first here, she has to put herself first there. You know, sometimes it requires somewhat of a reminder because of course we both have feelings and want each other to put one another first all the time. But you take a moment and you're like no, like you're right, Like I would do the same exact thing in this moment. So I think that's really really special.
00:34:12
Speaker 1: It really is. And I want to ask this because it's so sweet and I want everyone to hear it. Because you know, as we spoke about coming from Florida and conservative backgrounds with not much visibility, the younger version of you growing up in Florida, if you got to watch that viral moment between two women at the Olympic village, what would it mean to you?
00:34:38
Speaker 2: It would make me feel seen. It would definitely give me the power inside of me that it is okay to be me. It is okay to love who I want to love, identify how I want to identify. Because other people are doing that and they're being accepted and loved and praised and honored, and it's a beyond special moment. So I think it would just yeah, make me be seen and give me the power to step out into the world as my true self.
00:35:13
Speaker 1: I love that so sweet and it's so well put, and I agree. I think I would have saved And this is why I'm so visible about everything I do when it comes to my sexuality and my relationships. It would have saved me a lot of heartache of trying to figure out who I was and resisting it because I thought it was wrong. You're right, you say it so perfectly. Just to be seen to scene is believing and that visual, that visual moment. You know, we didn't have social media when we were kids, Like we got to see magazines, Sure as hell, not many gay people on those magazines. So it's like I was just like, why can't I get it right? Why does it feel not good? And it just I felt sad, and I just think about these young kids who get to see that, who get to see that moment. You know, whether it's two women, two men, uh, you know, someone who you know identifies a person exactly, whatever the fuck is you want just to be able to see it and know like, oh, I'm not alone, Like, oh I do have community. Oh people do move like me or think like me. I see myself in them. I can be them. Like there's so much that goes into being able to show this young generation, not even this young generation, I would even say the older generation who's still stuck in the old ways that are scared. I'm seeing more women come out later in life than I ever have, And I'm just like, go on, sister, You've been doing this long enough, like drop the rope good.
00:37:00
Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, but I think, yeah, but I think.
00:37:04
Speaker 1: I was just going to say to just kind of sum it up. You know, you you now after getting proposed to by Hillary, and you know you both have been traveling a lot, and you know, going to Saturday Night Live and god knows everything else under the sun, the oscars really cool things, And do you feel good about what's next and rebirth in retirement and walking away into this new future with your future wife, Like, I want to know how you're feeling and how you're sitting with it right now, because I know what it's like to retire, and I know it's scary and it's unfamiliar, and I want to check in and know like how are you, how are you feeling? What, what are we what's going on?
00:37:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you for asking me, yause that is a real thing. But yeah, just to touch on like some of the things Hillary and I have done and her being you know on SNL, this, that and the other, and to be you know, by her side through those things, it's really cool and it just makes like I'm just so proud of her and so happy for her that she and the other girls are getting, you know, the recognition that they deserve, like they are killing it out there, and you know, I just you know, know a little bit of what Hillary has given back to the sport and her you know, playing a huge part and creating the professional Women's Hockey League. Like so to be able to be in these moments with her has just been so incredible and I'm just so proud to stand by her and just so happy to be able to see her, you know, being acknowledged for these things. So that's been great, and you know, I am ready to take the skin suit off and be a fan of Hillary and the and the women team for as long as she wants to play. But just talking about my retirement. I feel very content in this moment. After Beijing. I knew, I, you know, I wanted to go four more years, but I would be ready to be done this time around. I feel really blessed that I was able to end on my terms when I want to, because I know a lot of athletes don't have that, yeah, you know freedom. Looking back on this Olympics, finishing fourth place in all three of my events, you know, arguably the toughest spot to finish in the Olympic Games, I can really really say my heart was so full of joy every single moment of that games.
00:39:51
Speaker 1: You know.
00:39:51
Speaker 2: Going back to Beijing, I win my first individual medal, I felt emptiness. I mean, my family wasn't there, My friends, weren't there. All of these awesome people that have been such a pivotal part of my journey weren't there. So to you know, win this medal, to win, you know, accomplish this lifelong dream and to feel a sense of emptiness was really really bizarre. So given that I really knew, I was like, I want to go four more years, and you know, I am like the oldest, I think girl out there, and it was going to be tough to get onto that podium this time around. But I knew I had a chance. I believed in myself, and you know, three fourth place finishes devastating, but at the same time, looking up seeing my mom, my dad, my sister, Hillary, Hillary's whole family, and the stance, I'm like, that's what this is all about. And you know, through our whole career, you know, as athletes were most of the time defined by our wins and our losses. But knowing that this was going to be my last quot four years ago, being able to kind of reflect on my entire career through this last four year process has been a huge blessing. And I you know, ending the Olympics, I know, my last Olympic event, the fifteen hundred meter, really really emotional. And I remember after that race, the men's hockey team had their semi final game and I'm on the bus back to the village in Hillary text me asking if I wanted to go to the men's hockey game with her and the team, and my initial response was like, yeah, absolutely, let's do it. But I sat there for a second, I'm like, you know what, No, I need like this moment to myself as I'm sure. You can imagine when you know, what's your last time, you're holding in, you know, so many emotions because you still have to perform. And I just needed a moment to feel all of the things, the happiness, you know, the sadness. I just I really needed to just go back to my room in the village and cry for a little bit. And they were tears of sadness, tears of joy, tears of you know, you know, thankfulness. So I just needed to pause for that evening and have that evening to myself and just to think through, you know, the wonderful sixteen years and you know, to say you could. Can you do all that in one night? Maybe not, but I just I didn't want to, you know, keep doing things and pushing off these emotions that I was really having to bottle in to try to execute a perfect race.
00:42:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's it's so real and it's so raw, and I appreciate you being so vulnerable. This is wide open, and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris. Thanks for listening. We'll be right back now. That you are stepping into this new phase of life and this beautiful new chapter, what parts of your identity are you holding on too, and what parts are you ready to release to start this new chapter?
00:43:07
Speaker 2: Wow, I mean I will forever be like longing for this competitive edge. I mean I have been driven to be the best for so long. But what is really exciting. I've actually I've worked with a hypnotherapist for a number of years now, and these last number of years in my career, I've become really curious about like this inner world and in my mind, you know, where does my identity lie? And I know my identity does not sit with my results, but at the same time, like that is what my identity has been for so many years. So to try to work through like that ebb and flow of like what is true and what do I believe? Trying to you know, explore like what are my fears? What are my belief systems? You know, our metals and our accomplishments define us in a certain sense. But I think the real story of I'm sure you can relate to this of our careers is learning how to rebuild when things don't go good, Learning how to deal with pressure, with shortcomings, failures, learning how to pull yourself out of these feelings of self doubt, overcoming obstacles and what I've learned in this world of hypnotherapy is it's essentially like rewiring your belief at a subconscious level. Our subconscious truly shapes our entire belief system. So I am really exciting to like dive into this world, and I'm really eager to help other high performers strengthen and control the one thing that we can all control, and that's how we think in the p of our minds.
00:45:01
Speaker 1: I love that, And you're right, there's not enough people out there talking about it, you know, mental health Now, yeah, people are talking as hard as hell to even access Most people can't access a therapist at two hundred dollars an hour like that doesn't that doesn't exist. So I love that you bring that topic up because it will make the transition better. It's not going to make it easy. There's nothing about shedding the skin of what you once were and starting and new. There's it is a hard place to sit at the edge of and I know you're sitting in that, but I love to hear you're doing the work because it's not easy and you have to. You know, in what world do you dedicate your whole fucking life to this craft and then at thirty eight you walk away and you're like, what's next? What do I do? But the mind is a big component and not everyone gets it, and it is very very clear that you get it. So would do you want this to be your next chapter? Like a sports psychologist or a mental coach or like what is it that you feel? Because you are curious and you are adventurous and you are going to go out clearly are going to go after whatever it is your mind is set to. I'm curious, Like what are you excited about right now? That you've got to shed your skin? You're starting anew and the possibilities are endless. Yeah.
00:46:34
Speaker 2: So, like I said, I've been working with a mindset coach and he specializes in hypnotherapy. His name's Elliott Rowe, and he has a team of mindset coaches who use hypnotherapy in their practice. In the past couple of years, he's been planting the seed because I've done a ton of work with him, a ton of sports psychs, psychiatrists, and so I've like lived this for so long on the app fleet's side, and He's like, if you ever want to be, you know, a part of the team, I'd love to have you. I'd love to coach you up. So this past summer I actually took a six month course and got certified in hypnotherapy, and so I am really interested in stepping into that world, and not just athletes, but any high performer, Like I think so many people don't work on the growth between their ears because you can't see it growing. It's really really hard to measure. And I didn't do a ton of mindset work until probably so twenty eighteen, I had a really bad head injury that could have taken me out of sport completely. It took me out of my sport for a whole year. And prior to that, I never had anxiety. I never had panic attacks. I was always what I thought like very strong minded, and that really stripped me of my entire being. I had really nothing. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know how to think, like how do I overcome this? And at that moment I really got a lot of help from different individuals. And then when I got back into high performance with skating, I found Elliott and being able to tap into like that subconscious mind or that part of you that you don't even know exists a lot of the times that that is the reason that you are the way you are. So if you were able to access that and you find it for yourself, you're not told, you know, you were guided. And when I could find a part of me that was, you know, inhibiting me from doing the things that I wanted to do and a lot of it was fear driven. Yeah, that was just so life changing for me that I'm like, I want to be able to help people do that. And of course I can relate the most athletes. You see so many people that you know, you could say buckle under pressure or you know, get the yips or whatever. So to have lived that and then to explore this mental side of things, I really believe that I could be helpful to a lot of people. And so that's what excites me.
00:49:20
Speaker 1: I love that. That's incredible and it's it's such a cool space to sit in because not enough people do it and so many people need it. So the last question I want to ask now, and when you really zoom out and you look at your life so far, you're you know, from Central Florida to Olympic podiums to this moment, what are you most proud of that no one sees.
00:49:46
Speaker 2: I mean, there are a few things, but the first thing that comes to mind is overcoming this head injury that some people know about, a lot of people don't. But I had, yeah, a concussion that turned into post concussion syndrome, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, vertigo attacks, and I was also diagnosed with this condition called POTS. And being able to work through those things. I mean, there was a time where I couldn't get off the couch. My heart rate would elevate, my blood pressure would drop, I would have a number of fainting episodes. I was scared to drive a car. I was scared that I would have a vertigo attack. I couldn't walk through a grocery store because I would get overwhelmed by the colors and the aisles. I wouldn't be able to go to a restaurant because just the loud noises would be debilitating to me. So the work that I did to not just become somebody that could live in society peacefully, but to be able to put my skates back on, to be able to compete at the highest level, to be able to win an Olympic medal. After that, to be able to set a world record after that is something I'm really really proud of. But then on the same note, I must say something that makes me proud that people have reminded me of is the way that I've made them feel. Like the impact that I've had on so many different people, kids, adults, people that I would never think that I would have a positive impact on is something I'm really proud of because at the end of the day, you know, our accomplishments and medals, Yeah, it's cool, but it doesn't matter. What really matters to me, and I think to everyone is the impact that you have on people and the way that people remember you. So to continue to get a number of different messages from people like that have been very, very touching, and I'm proud that I've been able to have such a positive impact to so many people.
00:52:12
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Thank you, Brittany. And it's the truth. People don't people won't remember what you did. People will always remember how you made them feel. And you have done that at every level, at every turn, every corner. And I wish you nothing but the continued success and happiness. And thank you for sharing your love story and being vulnerable and giving us hope. From at home, and watching this journey with both you and Hillary. It's been really fun to see from Afar and I know it's helping your stories helping so many people. So thank you for being here today. Thanks for coming on. I'd open, you delivered as always. I'm not surprised. You're so smart, you're so articulate. You just seem like a really incredible human And I hope where our paths cross. I want to hang out, I want to break bread, I want to get dinner, I want to do all the things.
00:53:17
Speaker 2: Yes, please, let's do it now. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate It's always fun to get to share different parts of me. And so yeah, thank you for asking the questions that you did, because yeah, this, these kind of conversations and sharing these stories are life changing to people and it's so important.
00:53:37
Speaker 1: There you have it, everyone, Brittany, thanks for being Wide Open. We'll see everyone next time on Wide Open with Ashlyn Harris. All Right, everyone, what a beautiful conversation with a beautiful person. There's something really powerful about hearing someone stand at the edge of who they've been and still chew to walk forward. Brittany spent her life chasing seconds, chasing perfection, chasing a vision of excellence that most people will never understand, and she did that at the highest level. But what stuck with me more than anything wasn't about what she accomplished, but who she became along the way. The courage to pivot when it didn't make sense, the strength to carry her identity even when it felt complicated, the vulnerability to love out loud, and the bravery to walk away when it's time, because the truth is, walking away from something that defined you might be the hardest win of all. But Brittany's not done. She's actually not even close. She's just getting started in a different way. So if this conversation tells us anything it's that the best chapters don't come from holding on. They come from having the courage to to evolve over and over again. I'm Ashlin Harris and this is Wide Open. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our Executive producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan, and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm Your Host Ashlin Harris
