Mailbox blunders that would make Gary Halbert cringe

Good morning. A little overcast out here.

Sunday I was at breakfast reading through my Gary Halbert swipe file, volume one.

Bond, Gary's son, is putting together an event where those of us who knew Gary and were mentored by him share some stories.

And the timing was perfect. Because this week my mailbox handed me a couple of things that, if Gary were alive, would have broken his heart.

So many things he figured out, people now try to smuggle into their direct mail. And they do it badly.

Here's what Gary knew.

You speak to one person.

There's a thought exercise. If you could only mail one letter, and you had to get a response, what would you do?

That question is what led Gary to make his mailings look like a one of one. A letter for that person and nobody else.

Handwritten address on the envelope. A real stamp. Nothing on the return except the address itself.

Because the whole game is getting it delivered and getting it opened. That's the most important piece.

So let me show you what landed on my doorstep.

The first one is trying to do exactly this. And it's addressed to current resident, 115 Woden Way.

And you can tell instantly it's a handwritten font. Not even handwriting. A font pretending to be handwriting.

Honestly? You'd be better off in plain courier. Or just a discrete printed label.

We did a big nine by twelve mailing this spring, law firm to law firm. Some envelopes we hand addressed. Others we just slapped a clean printed label with the firm's logo and return address.

And I learned something. In that case, looking like it's just for them beat smuggling in fake handwriting that wasn't even needed.

Back to this one. PO box return address. A pre-sorted stamp.

Every one of those little signals screams this was not written just for you.

So what's the message? Dear neighbor. I hope this letter finds you well.

My reason for writing is to share a scripture. Then a little tract. Please visit the website.

Jw.org. So. Jehovah's Witnesses. Be well, Judy. No last name. Just Judy, my neighbor, mailed from St. Petersburg.

They wanted me to believe it was the only one mailed that day. They failed.

Here's the second one.

Came in a birthday card size. I love that size, by the way. Something very personal about it.

But again. Nobody alive believes that handwritten font.

Not a single person. If you're going to do the handwriting, do the handwriting. Actually do it.

Pre-sorted bulk stamp again. Nobody's buying it.

Inside, it's made to look like a torn-off legal pad. Like someone just scribbled you a note.

And the font itself isn't bad. But here's the thing.

Remember Jerry Spence, from How to Argue and Win Every Time? He says our brains come equipped with psychic tentacles.

We're always reaching out, testing things for realness. And we can detect what he calls the thin clank of the counterfeit.

You catch it here. The ink is a little faded. You can tell it wasn't pressed straight onto the page.

Hello neighbor. Nothing says personal like hello neighbor.

Now's the time to update your windows and doors. Our team is in your area. Buy one, get one 40% off.

And they double-printed over the text to fake a bold handwritten stroke.

The offer ends October 31st. It ended yesterday. I picked this up today. It's already too late.

Thanks, Clyde. There's his number. Expired.

So here's the most valuable thing you can take from all of this.

The reason direct mail works, and the reason I love it, is for visible prospects.

When you know exactly who you're trying to reach. Make it like it's just for them.

And here's the amazing thing Gary pulled off.

In the 70s, there were basically no computers. Personalizing anything was next to impossible.

But he figured out the coat of arms.

He could mail what looked like a personal letter to every McDonald in an area, and have it feel like it was written to one.

It was from his wife Nancy at the time. Dear Mr. McDonald, did you know your family name was recorded with a coat of arms in ancient heraldic archives more than seven centuries ago?

My husband and I discovered this while doing research for friends with your same last name.

We've had an artist recreate it. Printed it into an attractive one page report.

If you'd like one, send back the envelope with two dollars, and we'll mail it to you.

That letter may still be the single most mailed letter in the history of direct mail.

So many lessons sitting in that swipe file.

Think about what direct mail actually is. You're hiring a uniformed government employee to carry your message right to any doorstep in the world.

For less than a dollar. A forever stamp is what, 78 cents now.

It's worth it to figure this out.

Figure out what you'd say to one person if you could mail one letter.

Then work out how to do that at scale.

Show notes: https://deanjackson.com/podcasts/tol/150-mailbox-blunders-that-would-make-gary-halbert-cringe/

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